#since I have not been able to complete a long fic my goal is to draft the whole thing out before even thinking about posting
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Could you tell us more about Tesey and Kirena?
Oh sure! Not sure what you’d want specifically so I’ll just post a dot point compilation of random bits about them that I don’t think have been mentioned yet lol, if there’s anything else (from anyone) you’re more than welcome to ask
- Tesey loves syrnyky, it’s something that gives him a lot of comfort especially when he’s overseas (he has similar feelings with varenyky). Kyrena’s favourite food is pork knuckle/golyashka since it wasn’t something they had very often as kids especially
- Tesey loves learning things and adored reading as a kid (he did get an Akasha in Sumeru, and yes he very much enjoyed being able to use the internet lmao), Kyrena preferred to play outside, running amok and climbing trees and all that (their mother tried to encourage her to play with dolls more and be perceived as more ladylike, but she was too soft to fully enforce it since Kyrena really didn’t like that). Sometimes they played role playing games with Illya and Ajax (Ajax especially adored these games), Kyrena always volunteered to be the dragon
- They all learnt an art from their dad: Kyrena is able to twirl shashka like Ajax, Tesey happens to be a good singer (he’s always been p shy about it though, he mostly sings to himself)
- Out of all the siblings, Tesey’s the one with the most negative view on the Fatui whereas Kyrena is like Illya (doesn’t exactly approve of or like what they do but are otherwise indifferent and have accepted it as something that is part of their lives regardless).
- They’re both fluent in their parents’ mother tongue, standard Snezhnayan and Teyvat common. Tesey’s more proficient in languages though as he’s also able to understand Fontainian, some Liyuenese and also Sumeru’s main languages
- Both Tesey and Ajax have a traveller/Podorozhnytsya motanka made by their mother, Kyrena’s necklaces are also primarily hand me downs from their mum
#genshin impact#genshin oc#genshin ocs#ask me anything#tesey neshchadymenko#kyrena neshchadymenko#im currently in the process of trying to write a fic where all the older siblings and Ajax are pretty involved#Tesey’s gonna be the main POV character so I’m trying not to spoil too much about his youth teehee#since I have not been able to complete a long fic my goal is to draft the whole thing out before even thinking about posting#so it may take a while if I do finish but I’m really excited#it’s set after the Fontaine AQ if that helps#and also I’d really like to explore the effects of Ajax’s disappearance and reappearance#I just feel like fanon tends to gloss over it way too much and instead boil it down to#“his parents threw him to the Fatui as soon as he started acting up a little#and also just how it affected his surroundings too#I just hope the amount of bg ocs mentioned don’t get too overwhelming since uh#yeah I’ve defs done some thinking about Morepesok lol
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[14.5k] ethan edwards was prepared for his rookie year in the nhl. he just wasn't prepared for a rat infestation, an unlikely roommate and to fall in love too. (smutty scenes mostly implied)
aka a fic based in the future when ethan finally joins the devils so don’t take anything remotely seriously!
happy birthday @httplando!! enjoy the belated birthday fic🤠gonna go mute you now before you spam my phone with voice notes of you giggling over ethan xoxo
.
SEPTEMBER
Ethan Edwards thought he was prepared for his rookie year.
He had long come to terms with the fact he was in the National Hockey League. It still felt surreal but the reality had long sunk in since the day he was drafted. This was his goal. This was his dream. And he had made it.
And he knew it would be different from hockey in any other league he had played. He knew it would be faster, harder, more demanding than college hockey. He knew that he would be pushing his body to levels he had never experienced. He knew he was mentally going to go through some of the toughest months of his life as he settled into the big leagues. He knew he was taking the sport he loved to a whole new level and he was prepared for that.
He was prepared for his rookie year.
He wasn’t prepared to fall in love with you.
More than that, he wasn’t prepared to fall in love and not fucking realise it. Especially when you were his fucking roommate.
Though, when he thought about it, the signs from the universe directing you onto his life path was there long before his first game as a New Jersey Devil.
“Have you signed for a place yet?” Luke had asked him during the summer, somewhere in the days between wakeboarding and sunbathing and enjoying the freedom of his last stress-free summer before he entered the professional league.
“I’ve got a few potential options but it’s fine,” Ethan had replied, dozing off on the sunlounger with his eyes closed beneath his sunglasses. “I’ve got time before training camp starts. There’s no rush.”
And honestly? It was his own stupid ignorance that led to the karma of his current situation.
“We do apologise, Mr Edwards, but there is nothing we can do. The building manager won’t be able to fix the problems before your move in date and we have no available lots to accommodate you until the problems are solved.”
Ethan tried to let the woman’s soothing voice calm him, but it was hard to find any peace in the words she was saying. “So, I’m homeless?”
“Once again, we do apologise for the inconvenience but the apartment is completely inhabitable.”
Because of fucking course he would find himself scrambling for last minute accommodation in Jersey, days before he was meant to meet his new team and start settling in to his rookie year. The universe couldn’t be too nice to him, not in the year he knew was going to be one of the roughest of his life.
So, he did what any sane person would do and had a total breakdown on the phone to his mother. And then he called Luke, feeling somewhat spiteful that the boy jinxed his luck earlier that summer. The least he could do is help him out now.
After Luke had spent the first five minutes laughing because, in his words, “who the fuck has a rat infested apartment in Jersey?”
“Can you help me or not?” Ethan sighed, fingers pressed against his temples in hopes it would ease the ache that had been lingering behind his eyes since he first picked up the phone from the estate agent that morning.
“I mean, I’m sure Nico or one of the other guys wouldn’t mind taking you in. Jack stayed with—” Luke started but a distressed noise from Ethan cut him short.
“Yeah but Jack was, like, eighteen. I’m meant to be a fucking college graduate,” Ethan grumbled, his cheeks burning. “What impression would that set for the guys on the team?”
Luke paused. “You’re absolutely reading far too much into this.”
Ethan scoffed. “I think my reaction is justified.”
“Drama queen,” Luke grumbled under his breath before sighing. “I have a friend that was looking for a roommate, actually. You could always stay with them until your place is sorted. The apartment isn’t too far from the rink.”
“Someone on the team?”
“No, someone else.”
Ethan blinked. “You have friends outside of hockey? Outside of me?”
“Yes, Ethan, I have other friends. You aren’t my only friend.”
“You think you know people and they stab you in the back,” Ethan sighed, far too dramatically (in Luke’s opinion).
“Look, do you want the place or not?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Ethan quickly spoke up. “That would be perfect. Send me your friend’s number.”
.
Now, when Luke had told Ethan that he had a friend—a non-hockey friend, at that—that was looking for a roommate, he wasn’t exactly sure what or who was expecting. He didn’t like to make assumptions on people when he knew little to nothing about them. It didn’t feel polite.
But he feels like he’s pretty fucking justified in feeling duped by the youngest Hughes brother when he finds out his new roommate isn’t a guy at all.
In Ethan’s opinion, that feels like pretty fucking important information to reveal before he shows up at your door with his car down below packed up with bags and boxes down in the carpark.
Because now, he looks like a fucking idiot when you open the door and he is left standing there, frozen and mouth open like a fish whilst every English word is thrown out of his head.
“You must be Ethan,” you said eventually, because Ethan still couldn’t bring himself to speak after a painful thirty seconds. “Luke’s friend?”
“Uh yeah,” he cleared his throat, at least having the decency to look somewhat embarrassed by his reaction with blushing cheeks. “Thank you so much, by the way. You’re really doing me a huge favour.”
“Luke said you were desperate.”
Ethan wanted to disagree but he couldn’t. Not really.
“That’s a bit of an exaggeration,” he tried to laugh off, though your face remained mostly unimpressed. “So—”
“Your room is the one on the left. Your bathroom is right next door. Three cupboards have been emptied for you in the kitchen and you have the top shelves in the fridge,” you stated, so matter-of-factly that Ethan could only blink in response. “Any questions?”
“No?”
“Great,” and with that, you wandered further into the apartment, leaving Ethan standing in the doorway dumbfounded.
…
OCTOBER
It didn’t take long for Ethan to realise you had some walls around you, and small talk was certainly not the way to get past them.
It was a shift to the roommates he was used to, fresh out of college and having spent the better part of the last four years staying with some of his closest friends and teammates. But it wasn’t totally unwelcome on his part. It was kind of nice to have a space that wasn’t so…hockey.
And it helped that he had his own space.
September passed in the blink of an eye and soon training camp became the real deal. It felt surreal to think he was really in the NHL now, that he was a professional hockey player, that this was his job and his livelihood now.
But it also felt fucking great.
The schedule of an NHL player was no joke and it was certainly not something Luke exaggerated—despite what Ethan assumed during the summer. It was intense and tiring and he didn’t have much time to think about anything else.
Except maybe his ice cold, standoffish roommate.
As the regular season began, Ethan had come to a few conclusions.
.
One: you were not a morning person, especially before having any form of caffeine. That was something he learnt the hard way.
Early morning practices were nothing new to Ethan. He wasn’t exactly an early bird, but his body had trained itself to familiarise itself with the early mornings after years and years of playing hockey. It was the norm for him, to be awake as the sun started peeking through the horizon and the rest of the world was about to wake up.
He wouldn’t call himself chipper, not really. He was just as energetic as he normally is.
You seemed to disagree.
“Morning, stranger!” Ethan greeted you as you shuffled into the kitchen, with a boyish grin on his face and a spatula in hand.
You didn’t even glance at him as you shuffled towards the fridge.
“Not a morning person, got it,” Ethan nodded, biting back his smile as you turned to glare at him.
“It’s half six in the morning,” you grumbled. “Why are you so loud?”
“My mum says it’s a part of my charm.”
You didn’t look very amused in response.
The following mornings seemed to fit the same routine. Even on the days he didn’t have practice or meetings, Ethan would find himself waking up early and starting his day around the same time you would be up for work. He would be chatty, you would look like you wanted to gauge his eyes out. It was oddly comforting.
Somewhere in the middle of the second week of this fixed routine, he began to feel confident enough in watching your routine to know exactly what you needed the second you walked out your room.
“Good morning!”
You blinked, staring at the steaming mug he was currently offering you. It took you a few seconds to process the sight before you realised you hadn’t spoken.
“What’s this?” You questioned, a questioning look in your eyes.
“Coffee. Made exactly the way you like it.” Ethan stayed confidently, his grin widening as you took a sip and let out an appreciative hum.
“Thanks,” was all you said before shuffling around the kitchen to continue with the rest of his routine.
On the days he was in Jersey, there was always a coffee cup waiting for you every morning.
.
Two: you were always cold. Always. No matter what the temperature was outside.
In all honesty, Ethan didn’t get it at all. From what he had gathered in his conversations with you and what Luke told him, you had spent a fair chunk of your life in New Jersey so, if he was being honest, he thought you would have been somewhat used to the colder temperatures.
But walking into the apartment after afternoon practice to find you bundled on the couch like you were in a blizzard told Ethan that assumption was far from the truth.
“Did the heating break?” was the first thing he asked when he saw you, a wave of concern washing over him as he dumped his bags at the door and made his way to the thermostat.
“No,” you murmured from somewhere in the pile of blankets. “S’just cold.”
Ethan paused, reading the thermostat before turning back to you with an amused expression on his face. “It’s kinda warm for Jersey in October today.”
There was a bit of rustling before your head popped up from amongst the blankets, your eyes narrowed in accusation. “Not all of us are professional athletes sweating their asses off for two hours.”
“In an ice rink,” he added with a grin.
Your glare hardened.
“Do you want a hot water bottle?”
You paused for a few moments before nodding with a sheepish expression. “Please.”
Ethan huffed out a laugh before he made his way into the kitchen, kettle filled and turned on before he went to hunt down the hot water bottle he was pretty sure his mother had packed away somewhere in his stuff when he moved away from Michigan.
He returned a few minutes later, lightly nudging the pile of blankets until your face popped up again and your eyes softened at the hot water bottle. He couldn’t help but giggle at the way you quickly snatched it from him, murmuring your thanks as it disappeared under the blankets.
“Any time,” Ethan said, and he meant it.
.
Three: you really didn’t open up to strangers. Or roommates. Or anyone, really.
He wasn’t exactly sure how Luke Hughes of all people managed to wiggle his way into a friendship with you, but it was an anomaly that had been wracking his brain for the last few weeks.
It was a week or so before Halloween and he was laying on the couch, his brows furrowed together as he tried to scroll through the internet for an idea of what he could wear to the Halloween party one of the boys were hosting.
“Why do you look constipated?”
His head snapped up, finding you standing at the end of the couch. You had two smoothies in your hand, the bag you take to your classes still on your shoulder and your shoes still on. He briefly glanced at the time, frowning a little when he realised he had been sitting there for the better part of two hours before he turned back to you.
“Trying to figure out a last minute Halloween costume,” he told you, eyebrows raised in surprise as you handed him one of the smoothies. He smiled as he took it, taking an obnoxiously loud slurp before you settled down on the other side of the couch. “I wanted to do something with Seamus and Luke but Seamus said he had his sorted and Luke said he was doing a joint costume with someone else.”
“Oh yeah, me,” you answered casually and Ethan tried to hide his shock.
“You’re coming?”
“Yeah?” You responded, giving him an odd look. “Luke always invites me to these things. He’s also hopeless with costumes.”
“I didn’t realise you and Luke were so…close,” he said vaguely, his cheeks flushing a little when he realised what his words sounded like. “Not that it’s any of my business—”
“You’re right, it’s not.” You shrugged, taking a long sip from your smoothie before continuing. “But he’s one of my closest friends.”
Ethan nodded, ignoring the way his stomach twisted at your words. “How did you two meet?”
“The strip club.”
Ethan blanched.
“Geez, you’re more gullible than Luke,” you commented, the hint of a smile on your lips. “You ask a lot of questions, Edwards.”
“I’m a nosy person,” he answered honestly with a shrug. “You didn’t answer the question.”
“Because there isn’t much to it.”
And, in your defence, he knew you didn’t owe him any answers. But he was curious and he couldn’t seem to wrap his head around how close you and Luke were—close enough for you to willingly accept one of Luke’s friends as your roommate for an indefinite amount of time.
And, at the crux of it, he didn’t understand how Luke was able to get through to you when he couldn’t.
Ethan was never one to brag but he was a magnet for people. It helped him thrive in hockey, always willing to be that guy on the team that people feel like they could always talk to. It helped him thrive at university, being a social butterfly that could always make a friend in any situation.
It usually helped.
So yeah, maybe Ethan was a little stumped why you didn’t seem to want to be his friend, not in the way you were with Luke and some of the other guys on the team. It seemed like being your roommate added a wall he didn’t know how to break down.
And when the Halloween party happened, it felt like seeing a whole new person when you were chatting and laughing with Luke.
You looked more at ease as you stood next to him, happily sipping on whatever drink he had gotten for you from the kitchen. You seemed more relaxed, like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders as you laughed at whatever joke Curtis had made at Luke’s expense.
It fuelled a fire for Ethan, one he hadn’t realised had been started before that night. But he didn’t just want to be your roommate anymore, he didn’t like having that wall between you.
He wanted to be your friend too.
…
NOVEMBER
Three months into the NHL told Ethan that it was really no joke.
He was expecting the more intense training and physical playing. He was expecting his body to feel more tired, more hungry, more sore. He was expecting the ruthless journalists and vocal fans and tougher coaches.
He wasn’t expecting the mental toll of realising that hockey was all he had in his life.
It was stupid to complain about, considering it was his dream and all, but it was true. Hockey was his whole world right now. He woke up thinking about hockey, he went to the rink thinking about hockey, he made his dinner thinking about hockey, and then he went to sleep thinking about hockey.
Nine times out of ten, he dreamt about hockey too.
It was different to the hockey he knew growing up, or the hockey he experienced in Michigan. Because at least in Michigan, there were classes or parties or concerts or something to take his mind off hockey.
But it wasn’t the same in New Jersey.
There were hangouts with Luke and Seamus, or team bonding sessions organised by Nico. There were drinks at the bar after a good game to celebrate, or a particularly bad one they needed cheering up after. There were fun trips around cities he had never properly explored when they were away on roadies.
But it was all still linked to hockey.
And he guessed he wasn’t great at hiding his conundrum when Nico skated up beside him near the end of practice, throwing out the offer to grab a coffee and chat after they finished their debrief with the coaching staff.
.
For what it was worth, Nico didn’t think he sounded stupid when he explained himself. If anything, the captain was quite understanding.
“I had it when I first moved,” he had confessed as they sat in some urban coffee shop in a part of the city Ethan hadn’t properly explored before. But Nico swore up and down it had the best coffee to offer. “I was young and I was here for hockey so I thought my whole life had to be hockey.”
“What changed?” Ethan asked, hands wrapped around the big mug his latte was in like it would give him something to do, something to focus on rather than the restless itch under his skin.
“The older guys,” Nico said with a knowing smile. “The ones that learnt how to balance life and hockey. The ones with wives and families and friends outside of the team.”
Ethan’s brows furrowed together. “You think I should go get married?”
“Not right away,” Nico laughed, shaking his head. “But I know how easy it is to get wrapped up in the rookie year nonsense and everything. And you should be enjoying that, for sure. But there’s more to life than hockey, which is quite hard to believe right now. But it’s true, whether it’s a wife—or husband—and family or a hobby or a group of friends you can be a different Ethan with.”
Ethan nodded, a surprisingly serious expression on his face. “Hobbies?”
“Yeah, something different to hockey,” Nico explained. “Something that doesn’t require you to give up too much time and take your focus away from hockey, but instead be a respite from everything. Like cooking!”
He blinked. “Cooking?”
“You cook right now because you have to and you follow the diet plan the trainers give you. But you can find enjoyment in cooking because you want to,” Nico assured him, leaning back in his chair with a sure expression. “Give it a try. What’s the worst that can happen?”
.
As it turns out, the worst that could happen is that Ethan is a fucking horrible cook.
He tried to hold back his coughs, waving the tea towel aimlessly under the beeping fire alarm before he raced to the windows in hopes they would help get rid of the smoke. Or at least get the alarm to stop.
The one meal outside of his diet plan and he almost burned the apartment complex down trying to cook it.
Go figure.
He had collapsed on the couch an hour later, two pizza boxes lying on the table in front of him as he aimlessly scrolled through his phone. He didn’t lift his head when he heard the front door lock turning but did freeze when he heard you cough a little.
“Fuck, why does it smell like a shitty barbeque in here?”
Ethan turned to you, a sheepish expression on his face as he lifted one of the pizza boxes as a peace offering. “Does pizza count as a ‘sorry for almost burning the place down’ gift?”
You eyed the pizza box and then his face before you took the seat next to him. “Normally I would say no but you look like you had a pretty rough time, so I’ll accept it this time.”
“Geez, thanks,” Ethan snorted.
“What were you even trying to cook anyways?” You questioned, taking a silence of margarita pizza and taking a large bite. You resisted the urge to let out a moan. “Fuck, I’m glad whatever it was. I couldn’t be bothered cooking today.”
“Rough shift?” Ethan asked.
“Bitchy manager was on tonight,” you added with a grumble.
“Fucking Jerry,” Ethan tsked, shaking his head.
You turned to him, eyes narrowed in suspicion. “You’re avoiding my question.”
“I’m delaying. There’s a difference,” Ethan corrected.
You hummed. “Okay, so why are you delaying?”
Ethan shrugged, turning his attention to the pizza box open on the coffee table in front of him. “S’stupid, no big deal. Promise.”
You were silent for a few moments before you spoke. “Is this the point where I take the bait and beg for you to tell me why you’re upset?”
He snorted, but it at least wrangled a smile out of him. “I’m not stressed. Just…overwhelmed.”
“With hockey?” You asked, but there was no malice or teasing in your voice. Just curiosity.
“I know this is what I wanted but it’s just…so much. I’ve never had hockey be everything in my life, there was always something else. And now I feel like I’m drowning and no matter how much I keep kicking, I’m no closer to the surface. And the older guys seem so put together and I was trying to take their advice but it isn’t really working out and—” Ethan paused, his cheeks flushing a light pink colour when he realised he had begun rambling. “Like I said, it’s stupid.”
“It’s not stupid,” you replied and he was almost shocked to see the sincerity on your face. “It’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed. It’s a big jump. It would be weirder if you weren’t more stressed.”
He swallowed. “Really?”
“Yeah, I mean,” you began, the pizza forgotten on the coffee table as you turned your body on the couch until you were facing him. “Your life will never be normal again. You’ve been shoved into the spotlight and you will continue to be there forever. That’s overwhelming as fuck. And you’re trying to catch up with a bunch of guys who have been here for years, who have had seasons to figure out who they are and who they want to be. It was always going to be an uphill battle.”
Something in his chest warmed at your understanding.
“Guess I have a lot to look forward to then, huh?” He tried joking because it felt easier than trying to say the words that were getting stuck in the back of his throat.
“I get it,” you explained with a small nod. “Not at the same level, but I get it. Every day I wake up and I know I’m working towards the thing I want to do for the rest of my life but, fuck, some days are just harder than others. I feel like I’m sacrificing so much of my ‘best years’ doing this and sometimes I just…wonder if it’s worth it.”
“That’s intense,” Ethan murmured with his lips turned downwards.
You gave him a sad smile. “Life can be overwhelming in a lot of ways. It’s just about finding things that help us…destress, I guess.”
“Which is hard to do when you’re a rookie in the NHL who doesn’t know who the fuck he is anymore or a student spending every free moment working her ass off in a shitty job with a shitty manager to pay for college,” Ethan added with a sorrowful smile of his own.
“Bingo,” you snorted.
“So,” Ethan sighed as he settled back against the couch. “What’s our game plan?”
You raised your brows. “Game plan?”
“Yeah, what are we gonna do to destress? We can help each other,” Ethan stated like it was obvious. “Like a ‘you scratch my back, I scratch yours’ situation.”
You shot him a look. “I’m not scratching your back.”
Ethan tilted his head, a grin on his lips. “So I’m assuming massages are off the table too?”
His laugh echoed through the apartment as you threw a pillow at his face.
.
If Ethan was being completely honest, he didn’t think finding a destressing hobby would be so…stressful.
He had tried asking a few other guys on the team for inspiration and advice. It hadn’t been as successful as he had hoped. Though, at least he knew a handful of weird facts about the boys he played with, so it wasn’t completely useless. Team bonding and all that jazz.
But the hobby-searching was starting to reach a point where he thought about it more than hockey.
He couldn’t help but feel like something was wrong with him. So many of the guys on the team had shared the hobbies they had outside of hockey to help relax. He even spoke to some of the UMich boys that had joined the NHL before him for some advice too. But nothing really clicked, nothing shut his brain off.
Golfing was too time-consuming to enjoy during the regular season. The mediocre attempt at knitting resulted in a massive knotted ball of yarn being chucked into the bin. He tried reading but got bored after the first few chapters. And it felt a bit pathetic and mind-numbing (the bad kind) when he found himself watching the third episode in a row of some trashy reality TV show that had been playing.
Nothing was giving him that relief and that step away from the busy, hectic schedule an NHL player brought.
“You got a new potential hobby for us?”
Ethan lifted his head to see you closing the front door behind you, bundled in about five layers of clothing you were slowly deshedding before you made your way over to him. He watched as your eyes went to the mess on the coffee table, your lips pressed together to hold back your laugh.
“What are you doing?” You questioned, tilting your head like it would help you figure out the little project he had been working on since you left for your class a few hours ago.
“It’s meant to be a model plane,” Ethan sighed, a tad too dramatic before he turned to you with a pout on his face. “Johnny said it was easy. He used to do them when he was, like, ten years old. I think he is lying to me.”
You snorted. “Or maybe he followed the instructions.”
Ethan frowned. “There’s instructions?”
You shook your head, trying to hold back your laughs as you settled on the couch beside him. There was a hint of deja vu to that day a few weeks ago—the day Ethan likes to believe the start of your buddying friendship began.
“You’ll find something,” you reassured him, nudging his shoulder with your own.
“I think some of the guys are just messing with me with some of the hobbies they suggest,” Ethan confessed. “Curtis does not seem like a knitter at all.”
You laughed. “Yeah no, he was definitely messing with you.”
“Knew it,” Ethan grumbled before shrugging. “Seamus thinks I’m just being dramatic.”
“I’m inclined to agree,” you retorted.
He shot you a look but you didn’t seem too bothered by his glare.
“He thinks I just need to get laid,” Ethan murmured, his eyes settling back on the lump on the coffee table that was supposed to resemble a plane.
“So why don’t you?”
Ethan blinked as he turned back to you. “Why don’t I, what?”
“Why don’t you just go get laid?” You asked, turning your body slightly so you were properly facing him. “Are you a virgin?”
Ethan startled. “What? No. No, I’m not a virgin.”
“Then I can’t imagine it would be too difficult for you to find someone.”
“Thanks?” Ethan frowned a little before shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know, s’just a little much right now. I don’t really wanna go and sleep with anyone. And I’m a little too busy to properly start something with someone, you know? It wouldn’t be fair on them if I was…flaky.”
“What if we slept together?”
Ethan let out a choked noise of surprise.
You gave him an odd look. “What?”
“Us? Sleep together? Like sex?” Ethan blurted out, his voice a little more high pitched than usual.
“Well, I don’t mean just having a sleepover,” you answered with a shrug.
His brows furrowed together. “Would it not be…weird?”
“No, why would it be?” You retorted, sounding so sure of yourself. “I’m busy, you’re busy. I guess you’re attractive and if you find me attractive too, I don’t see what the issue is. It’s convenient for us both.”
His eyes narrowed. “You guess I’m attractive?”
“This is not the time for your ego,” you huffed, though he could see your lips twitching upwards.
“No no, this is the perfect time for my ego,” Ethan started, his back straightening as he sat up in his seat.
“Are you in or not?”
His eyes dropped down to your lips for a few moments before returning to your eyes. “Y-Yeah, I’m in.”
…
DECEMBER
As it would turn out, it was far from weird. It was actually pretty fucking great.
The awkward tension Ethan expected to rise from the first time you two slept together didn’t actually happen. The next day, everything was back to normal and, if it weren’t for the hickeys dotted over his torso, he would have assumed he dreamt the whole thing up.
It was surprisingly refreshing. The buddying friendship between you and Ethan continued to grow as the days passed, just like he wanted, there was just also the added bonus that sometimes the two of you fucked to let off some steam.
And as much as it pained him to say, Seamus was right. He just needed to get laid. He just needed to go back to something he knew he would always be good at, that didn’t take up too much space in his brain and felt as natural as breathing to him.
He just needed to feel someone else’s body pressed up against him, whispered moans of his name doing more to help shut up that voice in the back of his head far better than the crowds of fans screaming and chanting his name.
He was really missing out for all these with the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing.
“Ethan.”
“Hm?”
“We can’t.”
“I think we can,” he murmured against your neck, his smile pressed against your skin as he placed a line of chaste kisses just below your jaw.
Your eyes fluttered close as his large hand splayed against your stomach, fingers brushing over your heated skin as he settled on the bed behind you. “You’re gonna miss your bus,” you managed to mutter out, a little breathless as you felt him rolling his hips against your ass.
“They won’t leave without me,” he assured you as he tugged you further back into him. Your panties had been kicked off somewhere under the sheets, not that either of you cared enough to give it a second thought. It just made it easier for Ethan to slip his hand between your legs, to listen to the choked noise of surprise you let out when his finger pressed on your clit.
“That’s not how it works,” you murmured, letting out a whine when he stilled his hand between your legs, focusing on marking the spot at the base of your neck that made your arch against him. “You’re gonna miss the bus and the team will be annoyed and you’re gonna—”
“Shhhh,” Ethan mumbled against your skin. “Too much talking.”
“Ethan.”
He let out a groan, his head dropping to your shoulder where he pressed a soft kiss there before lifting his head to shoot you a look.
“Don’t look at me like that,” you murmured with a snort. “It’s a seven day roadie. You’ll survive.”
“Maybe I’m really stressed about it,” he shot back. “Maybe a quickie before I leave would help me destress.”
You shook your head in amusement. “You’d be a lot less stressed if you weren’t thirty minutes late already.”
Ethan’s head snapped over to the clock on your bedside table. “Shit.”
“Told you so!” You called out as he scrambled his way towards the bathroom for the quickest shower of his life.
“Shut up!”
.
“That’s new.”
“What’s new?” Ethan questioned, leaning down to lace up his skates with the efficiency of a man who had spent the better part of his life in ice skates. He didn’t notice the shit-eating grin on Luke’s face until he sat back up and found the boy staring at him. “What?”
“Well, either the rats from your old apartment have found your new place and decided to take revenge or there’s a different reason for the marks on your back,” Luke retorted with a knowing glint in his eyes.
“Marks are an understatement,” Seamus snorted, sitting on the stall on the other side of Ethan. He didn’t know what he did to deserve being stuck between the two of them. “Your back is mauled, dude. Who did you sleep with, a werewolf?”
“No,” Ethan scoffed, his cheeks burning red. “Don’t be jealous you can’t get the same reaction out of a girl.”
“So there’s a girl?” Luke chimed in, like the little nosey shit he was.
“Maybe,” Ethan answered vaguely with a shrug of his shoulders. “It’s just a casual thing. Nothing serious.”
“Glad you finally took my advice,” Seamus grinned.
Ethan rolled his eyes.
“What’s her name?” Luke asked.
To be fair, you and Ethan never discussed the logistics of your situation beyond the actual sex part. He enjoyed the little bubble the two of you shared in your apartment. It was like the two of you forgot there were other people, that the signs would be there for people to pick up on. And he wasn’t exactly sure if it was something you would want people to know, even Luke.
He tried to bargain with himself that it wasn’t serious so there was no need for Luke or the other boys to know. You two were just scratching an itch for each other, that’s it. You were still friends at the end of the day, he didn’t want to ruin that because other people thought there was something more serious.
Ethan shrugged. “Uh, you don’t know her.”
Luke cocked an eyebrow. “So surely it doesn’t matter if we know her name or not.”
“It’s not like she’s my girlfriend or anything,” Ethan retorted, squirming a little under Luke’s gaze. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready? Coach wants us out in five minutes.”
“Subtlety is not your forte, Edwards,” Luke snorted in response.
.
The roadie ends up being a complete shit show.
Three games and they lost every single one of them. Three games and the loss just got worse with each game, with the final game being an embarrassing 5-1 loss. And all the boys were upset and annoyed about the results, but Ethan felt like he was going to lose his mind.
His suit felt uncomfortable and itchy against his body, like some foreign layer he desperately wanted to shed. His skin felt taut and stretched across his bones, the urge to claw at his skin so overwhelming that he forced himself to focus on picking the skin around his nails instead because it was less likely to get him odd looks from the other boys.
He had ignored Luke and Seamus’ attempts at pep-talks in the locker room, both boys seeming determined to try and reassure him the loss was not his fault—like it would stop the fumbled plays playing on a loop in his head. He watched Nico climb onto the bus, eyeing the empty seat next to him but he wasn’t in the mood to be babysat by his captain. He put his bag on the chair next to him and put his headphones on, pretending he couldn’t feel everyone’s eyes on him.
He wasn’t sure what time it was when they finally arrived back in New Jersey, but he didn’t care to know. He didn’t give anyone a chance to pull him back for a chat. He grabbed his bags and bolted to his car, wanting nothing more than to get out of his suit and just mope in his bed until practice in a few days.
Ethan wasn’t expecting for you to still be awake.
He jumped when he spotted you on the couch, the TV still on but on mute as it played some random sitcom he couldn’t quite remember the name of. His eyes wandered over your figure, huddled up in the corner of the couch with a blanket covering your legs and a Devils branded hoodie he didn’t quite know whether it was one of your own or one of his. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know.
“You’re back earlier than I expected,” you spoke up, breaking the weird, tense silence that seemed to be suffocating the apartment since he walked in.
“We left just after the game,” he replied, his voice a little raspy considering it was the first time he had spoken since the end of the game. “Boys wanted to get home.”
You nodded. “M’glad you’re back. The place is pretty quiet without you.”
It was lighthearted. It was an opening for him to plaster on a smile and pretend he was okay. It was a chance for him to escape the same awkward conversations he avoided from his teammates.
But he was tired—the bone deep kind—and he didn’t have it in himself to keep pretending. Not in front of you.
“I’m not sure I’m feeling very talkative right now,” he admitted, swallowing back the acidic taste in his mouth, the one that had been lingering since he stepped on the bus with all his disappointed teammates.
“We don’t have to talk about it,” you reassured him as you patted the spot on the couch beside you. “We can just sit in absolute silence if you want.”
“I’m not sure I want that either,” he confessed as his body slumped against the couch, melting into the fabric as he tried to ignore the constant buzzing voices in his head. “Just wanna forget the last week, to be honest.”
“That’s fair,” you hummed in agreement. “The refs were biassed dicks anyways. It wasn’t fair.”
He turned his head to look at you, his surprise clearly expressed on his face. “You watched?”
“I did,” you gave him a soft smile. “It wasn’t a pretty sight. I’m surprised the neighbours didn’t make a noise complaint against me when they put Luke in the box.”
And despite himself, he couldn’t help but snort. “They had it out for him and Jack.”
Your eyes narrowed. “Dicks.”
His lips twitched upwards. “Dicks indeed.”
Ethan let his head fall back against the back of the couch, let the exhaustion settle in as his eyes fluttered shut and, for the first time in the last week, let himself have some semblance of relaxation even if his brain was still on overdrive.
“I know you don’t want to talk about it,” you started and his body instantly tensed up at your words. And maybe you would feel his body lock up, considering his thigh was pressed against yours and the couch wasn’t all that big either. “But I am here if you want to talk. Have someone who’s not on the team to listen to you.”
He swallowed the lump in the back of his throat. “Just feel like I let them down.”
“You didn’t,” your voice soft but sincere. “And I bet the boys would agree.”
“I just…” he let out a sigh, keeping his eyes closed because it somehow made the next few sentences easier to say out loud. “I know no one likes losing. I would be a pretty bad professional athlete if I liked losing. But, I don’t know, it just…sucks more now.”
“Because the stakes are higher?”
“Because there’s more people seeing my mistakes,” he murmured, his words short and sharp. “This is all unreal. Being able to live out my dream and play in the NHL. But every time I make a mistake, I just feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like I’m waiting for someone to tell me it’s all a joke or I have been moved down or I get dropped and that’s the end of my career.”
There was a short pause.
“I’m scared it’s all gonna be for nothing.”
He wasn’t sure what response he expected. Truthfully, he had no intentions of ever telling you any of this. Or anyone for that matter. He had no intentions of ever saying the words out loud, letting them fester and swirl around in the back of his mind when he was left with his thoughts alone for too long.
And yet, he had just blurted them out to you.
Maybe he was more tired than he realised.
“Why did you keep playing hockey?”
Ethan frowned a little, his eyes blinking back open as he turned to look at you again. “What?”
“Why did you keep playing hockey?” You asked again, something swirling in your eyes but he couldn’t quite work out what. “It’s one thing to be a fan. You’re Canadian so I guess you kinda have to be. And I assume your parents put you into lessons. But why did you keep up with it? Why did you keep playing?”
“Because I love the sport,” he answered without any hesitation.
“Exactly, you love the sport,” you repeated with a soft smile on your lips. “It’s why you stayed. It’s why you play the next game even if you lost the last one. It’s why it’s your dream, why you kept working towards the NHL. And even after the shit show of the roadie, it’s why you will go out and play the next game.”
Ethan stayed silent but he didn’t move his eyes away from yours.
“It’s normal to have doubts. It’s normal to second guess yourself and assume the worst and let yourself spiral,” you continued. “It’s your rookie year. It isn’t easy for anyone. It wasn’t easy for Luke, for Seamus, for any of the boys. But you love the sport and the sport loved you back. Even on the bad days.”
“That was poetic,” he murmured, his voice a little raspy and thick with emotion.
“I was great at English in school,” you retorted with a grin. “You’re allowed to feel scared. And you’re allowed to be upset after you lose. But you’re a part of the team, nobody is putting the loss on your shoulders and you shouldn’t either. It’s your weight to bear together.”
Ethan’s eyes narrowed. “Did Nico message you?”
You snorted, and something about the sound made his chest tighten. In a good way, though.
“No, but considering how fast you got here, I would be wary that he will probably show up tomorrow morning to take you for a coffee check up,” you murmured. “Or he will corner you in the locker room.”
Ethan nodded. “Thank you. For listening and stuff.”
You flashed him a smile as you nudged his shoulder with your own. “That’s what friends are for.”
It was almost ironic that Ethan had spent the last few months working towards the title of your friend, only to feel almost disappointed when you said it.
.
Nico had been the one to organise the New Years Party.
All the boys from the team were there. There were other Devils employees from the marketing, media and training teams. There were friends and friends-of-friends. There were people he had never met before.
But it was a party and the buzz of the new year was humming through them all, and somewhere amongst it all, someone had suggested a game of truth or dare.
Ethan thinks it was Curtis, who was just drunk and nosy and a bit bored.
“Right, Baby Hughes, you gotta pick!”
Luke let out a groan, slumping into the person next to him—a chuckling John Marino who seemed amused by the glint in Curtis’ eyes—before nodding. “I feel targeted.”
Curtis grinned. “Never.”
“You’ve asked me every single time,” Luke grumbled under his breath, cheeks tinted pink and warm. “Surely this is against the rules. Right, Cap?”
Nico raised his hands in surrender. “Do not drag me into this!”
Luke’s eyes narrowed. “So much for looking out for your boys.”
“Pick someone else before he starts getting whiny,” Jack called out, grinning widely as he dodged Luke’s elbow to his side. “I don’t wanna hear him bitching on the way back home.”
“Fine, fine,” Curtis snorted, eyes scanning over the busy room before his eyes paused on Ethan. “Alright, Edwards, rookie’s turn. Truth or dare.”
Ethan straightened a little, something determined in his eyes. “Truth,” he answered with a grin. “I’ve been warned of your dares.”
“Smart,” Jesper coughed under his breath.
“Truth, he says,” Curtis mused as he sat back in his seat, contemplative and cunning before he spoke again.
“Play nice,” Nico teased.
“Cap’s orders,” Curtis hummed before he spoke. “Alright then, rookie, fess up. Which teammate is your least favourite? Name and shame.”
Ethan blinked. “This feels like a trap.”
“Oh, it certainly is,” Ondrej snorted.
“Don’t take him seriously,” Luke spoke up, leaning his head back to catch Ethan’s gaze. “He did the same to me and Simon. And Seamus last year. It’s his thing.”
Ethan raised his brows. “Is there a right answer?”
“Hey, no cheating!” Curtis called out.
“Maybe my answer is you,” Ethan called back teasingly.
“Oh, pretty boy has some fire,” the older man laughed, happily and drunkenly but it seemed enough to satisfy him before Nico was rounding everyone around for the midnight countdown.
The funny thing was that Ethan always knew that hockey was a team sport and every team he had ever played on—from the peewee team he played on as a kid to the boys he played with in UMich—every single one of them felt like a family, a place where he belonged and a team he loved both on and off ice.
The Devils had been another one of those teams—his newest family. It had been terrifying, a lingering thought in the back of his head since he had been drafted. Every team he played for before were teams he would move on from, stepping stones in his dreams. But the NHL was at the top and he didn’t want to fuck that up. He didn’t want to feel left out from his new family.
The Devils family had welcomed him with open arms.
He truly couldn’t complain. He felt a connection with these boys on and off the ice, he felt like the newest member in this patchwork family that was really cared for. Even now, as the seconds ticked down to midnight, there was warmth and camaraderie in the air as they welcomed the new year.
And yet, it was the most devastating loneliness he had ever felt in his life.
Because the clock struck twelve and the cheers echoed through the house and yet, his eyes were searching in the crowd of people. Searching for the one person he wanted by his side. Searching for the first person he has ever had the urge to kiss into the new year.
Because Ethan Edwards spent breaking in the new year wishing he was beside you.
…
JANUARY
New Years opened his eyes in ways that he hadn’t really considered before.
Unfortunately, eye opening nights are a bit difficult to focus on when you’re a professional athlete in the NHL hitting January in your rookie year. Because they were only half way through the regular season in one of the most physically and mentally intense years of his life, and he was a bit too fucking tired to have emotional epiphanies.
Which was fine if it weren’t for the fact he was currently in the middle of drills and his brain was definitely not focused on hockey.
“Edwards!”
Ethan blinked, his body moving before his brain could properly catch up. He had never been more grateful for the military-routine of drills he had been doing for as long as he had been skating.
His muscles were screaming by the time the boys were starting to head back into the locker room, laughing and shoving each other and discussing strategies for the game against the Sabres the following day. But he lingered behind, stick twisting in his hand as he tapped a few pucks closer to the net.
He had tried not to stare at the person lingering on the ice behind him, watching him, observing him.
He managed five shots before the person spoke up.
“You should lower your right hand a little,” Jack called out, lingering at the blue line. “It will help with the shot.”
His next shot hit the back corner perfectly.
Ethan straightened his back, nodding a little before glancing over his shoulder. “Thanks.”
“Anytime,” Jack responded, taking it as his cue to skate closer towards him. “You good? You should be getting some rest before the game tomorrow.”
“Yeah, just…wanted some extra practice on my shots,” Ethan said, shrugging his shoulders. “It needs some work.”
Jack nodded. “You’re having a good year.”
“Could be better,” Ethan retorted before he could stop himself. It was meant to be lighthearted, playful even. Instead, it came out a little self-deprecating and he winced at himself.
“It gets better,” Jack assured him, his expression a little softer. “The rookie year is always the worst, the media attention and expectations and everything. But it gets better when you find yourself, find your footing.”
“I know,” he murmured because he wasn’t sure what else to say. Nobody really talked about Jack’s rookie year. Not in much detail, not beyond a few comments here and there he had heard over the years in the lakehouse.
He was more than grateful that his own rookie year wasn’t anything like Jack’s.
“Enjoy it,” Jack continued, a kind expression on his face. It wasn’t hard to work out why Jack was given the ‘A’ on his jersey. “I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t let the critics get to you too much. They just wanna put pressure on you, make you squirm.”
And oh.
Because now Ethan was standing there, staring back at Jack like a hopeless idiot, realising he and the rest of the boys probably assumed his mood had been related to hockey. To the articles written about him. To the most likely and very reasonable explanation.
Not the fact Ethan was pretty sure he liked his friends-with-benefits roommate in a not very friends-with-benefits way.
His cheeks burned at the realisation.
“Uh, yeah,” he nodded helplessly, hoping his smile didn’t look as strained as it felt. “No, you’re right. I…I’ll try to really enjoy it. Not get in my own head too much.”
“Good,” Jack smiled back at him, all sweet and genuine and making him feel like a bit of a dick. “I’m here if you ever need a chat, you know? And I’m better at giving advice than Luke.”
Ethan snorted. “I don’t doubt that for a second.”
.
The issue was that despite his eye-opening realisation, Ethan Edwards quickly realised he was a bit of a coward when it came to expressing his feelings.
Or, for that matter, confronting them.
It was odd for Ethan, if he was being completely honest with himself. Because he was usually good with these kinds of things. He knew when it was a ‘no strings attached’ situation, when to remove himself from any feelings that would compliment the matter. And he knew when it was serious, when the feelings were reciprocated, when there was something more than physical between him and the other person.
But that awareness was thrown out the window when it came to you.
It was like he had a little voice in his head, desperately trying to yell out how he felt about you until Ethan reached his breaking point and did something he couldn’t take back.
So, he did what any reasonable person did and locked that little voice away, pushed it to the back of his mind where it couldn’t bother him. And then he continued living his life like he couldn’t hear the rattling box in the background of every waking moment.
It was easy with hockey. Despite his little blip at the start of the month, he managed to prevent the annoying voice affecting his game on the ice. He stayed focused and concentrated and attentive. He managed to complete his drills and find the passes and shoot some goals so none of his teammates would catch on to his lacking grasp on his feelings.
But at home? With you? He clearly wasn’t coping as well as he thought he was.
“Are you okay?”
Ethan paused, body frozen as his brain wracked through a million different thoughts before he turned to look where you were sitting on the couch.
“Uh yeah,” he managed to blurt out, a slightly strained laugh following. “Why?”
“You’ve just seemed off the last few weeks,” you admitted with a shrug of your shoulders. “Like, tense and stuff.”
“S’just hockey stuff,” Ethan murmured with a stiff smile, the lie tasting bitter and acidic on his tongue. “The boys have just been talking about how playoffs are sneaking up on us and I just…guess I’ve been a little in my own head about it.”
You nodded in understanding. “You need days to chill out, you know? Take your mind off hockey.”
Ethan raised his brows. “You got any suggestions, sweetheart?”
“Actually,” you retorted with a knowing smile. “I do. I know exactly what you need to get out of your head.”
.
“You know, when you crawled onto my lap, I was expecting a very different outcome,” Ethan murmured, struggling not to move his lips too much as he focused on the concentrating expression on your face.
“Need to get your head out of the gutter, Edwards,” you teased, biting back your smile as you continued to sweep the brush across his face, careful to avoid his eyebrows while you were at it. “Facemasks are soothing and relaxing. Plus, your skin probably needs it after all the travelling you do.”
“Excuse you,” his nose scrunched. “I have a skincare routine.”
You chuckled. “Yeah, Luke told me that you ripped into Seamus after he used your fancy moisturiser.”
“It’s expensive,” he murmured in defence before the rest of your words caught up on him. “You talk about me to Luke?”
“Mostly to bitch,” you said with a lighthearted, teasing smile.
Yet, something in his chest tightened at the idea regardless.
“As long as you’re talking about me,” he shot back, something victorious washing over him at the way you laughed.
You leaned back a little, still sat on his lap with his hands on your waist to keep you balanced. You snorted at the mask covering his face before grinning. “Now, we have to keep these on for twenty minutes. And try not to move your face too much.”
Ethan ignored your words, pouting in response. “So if I asked you to make out—”
“I would tell you to fat chance,” you finished with a grin. “But I’ll admit the pink headband is really working for you.”
Ethan wiggled his eyebrows, once against ignoring the pointed look you shot him. “Enough for a kiss?”
“Enough for an episode of Pretty Little Liars,” you shot back at him, your smile widening at the sound of his groan but it still didn’t stop him from tugging you close before you could sit on the other side of the couch. “Or at least finish the one we started last night before—”
“I rocked your world?”
“Started drooling on my shoulder,” you corrected.
“That was after I made you come twice,” Ethan piped up, lightly pinching your side until you squirmed further onto his lap. “They cancel each other out.”
“Whatever you say, princess,” you snorted, eyes gleaming as you pressed play on the remote before he could come up with a witty comeback.
And, somewhere in the back of his mind, there was a distant voice screaming at him to say something. Telling him this was the perfect opportunity to say something to you. To just admit how he was feeling and end the pathetic pining he had been experiencing for the last few weeks.
But the mere idea of losing this—losing you—kept his mouth shut as he finally turned his attention to the tv and pretended like his stomach didn’t twist at his own cowardice.
…
FEBRUARY
Before he knew it, they were hitting February and all the buzz in the hockey world was around All Stars.
Ethan hadn’t been too concerned about it or the discussions leading up to the reveal on which team members would be heading out for the event. His mind had been preoccupied on the season, on playoffs approaching, on you. In all honesty, All Stars hadn’t even crossed his mind until the team was being rounded up into the locker room for the announcement.
It was not too much of a surprise that Luke had been selected for the Devils (most people expected it to be one of the Hughes brothers).
However, it was a shock to hear his own name follow.
“Looks like the fans want to see more of the pretty boy,” Curtis called out, joking and teasing and, yet, it still made his cheeks burn as the boys all slapped him on the back.
“Baby’s first All Stars,” Timo cooed jokingly, reaching out to pinch his cheek but Ethan was quick to slap his hand away.
“It’s Luke’s first too,” he defended weakly, a smile on his lips as he spoke.
“At least he is losing one of his virginities,” Seamus coughed under his breath, letting out a high-pitched yelp when the younger Hughes reached to smack him across the back of his head.
“I hope you get a horrible sunburn in Mexico,” Luke retorted with a deadpan expression.
Seamus snorted. “Don’t get bitchy because your ticket is non-refundable.”
Luke reached out to slap him again but he had already run off towards the showers, laughing and shoving some of the other boys into Luke’s path to help with his escape.
Ethan shook his head in amusement.
“Enjoy it,” another voice spoke up and he turned to find Nico standing beside his stall, a kind and genuine smile on his face as he patted his shoulder. “It’s fun. Promise.”
“More fun than chilling on a beach somewhere?” Ethan retorted with a knowing smile.
“It’s up there,” Nico grinned.
“But if Michael Buble offers you anything, say no,” Jack spoke up from the other side of the locker room. “Trust me.”
.
“How does it feel to be with all the big boys?”
“You saying I’m not a big boy?”
“You know exactly what I meant, perv.”
It was true. Ethan knew exactly what you meant. But he could almost imagine the way you rolled your eyes when you spoke, your nose scrunched up and your eyebrows furrowed and it sent a pang of something aching through him.
It was almost too pathetic to comprehend.
All Stars was insane. Truly, absolutely, positively insane. It was one thing to watch it from the comfort of his own couch. It was a whole other thing to be a part of it. And he knew he shouldn’t be starstruck, not really. He had spent the better part of the last few months playing against some of these guys.
But being in a not-as-competitive setting with the likes of Sidney Crosby and Nathan MacKinnon was a surreal experience he hadn’t fully wrapped his head around since he arrived.
And yet, here he was, all smiley and giddy and excited over the fact you had called him. The fact that you missed him enough, that you were thinking about him enough to call him whilst he was away.
“I stand by my question,” Ethan replied, shuffling further back into the plush pillows of his hotel bed as he held his phone to his ear. “Do you not think I’m a big boy?”
“I’m not going to talk up your dick size for the sake of your ego, Edwards.”
Ethan snorted despite himself. “Worth a shot. Could have made it really hot.”
“I refuse to have phone sex with you when Luke is probably in the room.”
“He’s not here,” Ethan said quickly, pausing for a moment before he continued. “Well, he’s gone out to grab us some snacks from the store around the corner but—”
“Exactly.” His stomach dipped a little as your laugh echoed through the phone. “Now, tell me everything.”
For a moment he wondered if it would be worth trying to facetime you to see your face or if that was pushing it too far.
“What do you want to know?” He retorted, his eyes closing shut as he tried to imagine the expression on your face as you thought.
“I don’t know! The important stuff! Like if Sidney Crosby is as hot in real life?”
Ethan blinked. “That’s your big question? If he’s as hot as he is on screen?”
Your reply came with no hesitation. “Yes.”
“Wow, so we can’t talk about my dick, which has been inside of you by the way, but we can talk about whether or not Sidney Crosby is hot.” There was a pause before he sighed. “Yeah, he is. Maybe even hotter.”
“I fucking knew it.”
“So you don’t even miss me? Not even a little bit?” Ethan questioned, trying to sound playful and lighthearted, hoping the small slivers of insecurity weren’t being translated through the phone.
“Don’t start pouting on me, Edwards. Of course I miss you.” Your voice was softer, more sincere. Or at least he was deluding himself into thinking as much. “Found a show for us to watch when you’re back. It looked good but I didn’t want to start it alone.”
It was embarrassing how big his smile was. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you hummed before gasping. “Oh god, I almost forgot to tell you. You won’t believe what happened at work the other night.”
Ethan huffed. “Don’t tell me it was—”
“Yup! And you’ll never guess what she did—”
It hit Ethan in the chest when he was lying on the foreign bed in a non-descriptive hotel room, phone pressed against his ear as you rambled away. It hit him just how much he enjoyed this, how much he enjoyed you. That it was beyond the physical attraction, that it was much deeper than a silly little crush.
It hit him how much he wanted this forever.
But he knew better to do it on the phone. He knew it had to be said face-to-face. He knew he needed you in front of him when he uttered the words. He knew he needed to be looking in your eyes when he blurted his feelings out.
So, he promised himself.
He promised himself he would do it when he headed back to New Jersey. He promised himself he would do it when he saw you. He promised himself he was just going to deal with it head on and not run away like he had been doing for the last month or two.
He promised he was not going to be a coward anymore.
.
It was embarrassing how quickly he threw his own promise out of the window.
Ethan was fucking exhausted by the time their plane laned back in New Jersey. It was barely even eight in the evening and he was ready to slump face first onto his bed and not get up for a few days—even if he knew they had practice the following afternoon.
But it was the principle of it all.
It was the mere exhaustion of it all.
And you took one look at him before you opened your arms, inviting him to join you on the couch. Ethan couldn’t even bring himself to feel too bad about the groan you let out as he slumped himself on top of you.
“Make sure they had good music at my funeral,” he grumbled, his face nuzzled into the crook of your neck and his lips brushing against your skin as he spoke.
You hummed, your hands moving on instinct to run your fingers through his hair. “How do you feel about Barbie Girl?”
“Love it,” he murmured, a soft groan leaving his lips as your nails scratched along his scalp. “Missed you.”
“I missed you too, Edwards,” you whispered, soft and almost breathless. He wondered for a moment if he was leaning too heavily on your chest and winding you. “I never knew you talked in your sleep.”
Ethan froze.
“Luke sent me some interesting videos,” you continued and he could almost hear the smile in your voice. “You should really watch who you have sleepovers with.”
Ethan clenched his eyes shut, trying to nuzzle himself further into your neck. “M’gonna kill him.”
“It was just one video,” you assured him, lightly tugging his hair until he lifted his head to look at you. “Cute that you were so jealous over me liking Sidney that you started to sleep talking about it.”
His cheeks heated up. “I wasn’t jealous.”
You beamed back at him. “Uh huh, sure.”
Ethan narrowed his eyes at you. “This is emotional blackmail.”
“Aw, don’t let me stop you from doing it again,” you teased, unable to hide your amusement as his cheeks burned redder. “Would it make you feel better if I said I was jealous you got to hang around him all week?”
Ethan paused before he spoke. “Yes.”
You nodded. “Then, I was deeply jealous and envious that you got to hang around Sidney Crosby, the hottest guy in the league—”
“Oh my god,” Ethan groaned as he braced his hands on either side of you, prepared to push himself off you and the couch and sulk in his room. But before he could get far, you were winding your arms and legs around him and pulling him back down. “Nuh uh, let me go. You can go cuddle with Sidney since you think he’s so hot.”
“You’re such a drama queen,” you mused, choosing to be nice and not comment on the way he completely nuzzled himself back into your arms, eyes falling shut and relaxation taking over his body for the first time in a week.
“You’re a bully,” he retorted, words muffled from the way his cheek was pressed against your shoulder.
“You like it,” you retorted, keeping the banter going but it made Ethan’s head spin.
Because he did. He did like it. He liked you. He liked coming back home to you and he liked lying on the couch with you. He liked kissing you and he liked the noises you made for him when he touched you.
He liked you more than he cared to admit.
He liked you too much to lose you.
He liked what the two of you had. He liked it too much to risk losing it all over unreciprocated feelings. Feelings could change—his feelings could change. There was no need to ruin a good thing.
He had hockey to focus on. He had the team to focus on. He had playoffs to focus on.
Now was not the time to change everything, superstitions or not.
…
MARCH
March Madness was no joke.
It was pure fucking chaos and no previous league or championship he had ever played for could rival just how hectic the whole thing was. The Devils were having a good season. A great fucking season if they were being honest. And they were so, so, so fucking close to clinching that playoff spot.
But fuck if the other teams weren’t making it real fucking difficult for them.
Ethan knew that things were going to get rougher, tougher, harder when the playoff desperation started to settle in, when the end of the regular season was on the horizon and teams were starting to get dirty to extend their season.
He just underestimated how desperate they were willing to get.
It was easy to see why Nico Hishcier was so beloved by the team, by the fans, by the boys. To see why he was chosen as captain because he was nothing but supportive and determined and encouraging. He wasn’t letting them get too comfortable, he was keeping the boys working towards playing their best.
But he was also the damn proudest of them all.
It almost made the hits against the boards worth it.
Almost being the operative word seeing as he felt like his whole body was bruised as they came off a game against the Rangers.
“Fuck,” Ethan hissed as he all but waddled into the locker room, helmet in hand and skateguards on. “I think I’m bruised in places I didn’t know you could be bruised.”
Seamus snorted. “Fucking tell me about it.”
“The hit during the second period looked rough,” Luke spoke up from the stall beside him. “You sure you’re good?”
“Medical checked me over during the intermission,” Ethan assured him with a faint smile. “Just gonna be sore for the next few days.”
Luke’s eyes gleamed. “No strenuous activities then?”
Ethan rolled his eyes.
“Oh please,” Seamus mused, giving Luke a nudge with his elbow. “He’s a pillow princess.”
“Fuck off both of you,” Ethan snorted, already starting to peel his jersey off.
It wasn’t until he was almost dressed where he finally grabbed his phone out of his bag, turning it back on to see a flurry of notifications to take over his screen. His brows furrowed together in surprise as he skimmed over them.
“Is that a certain roommate?” Luke asked, peeking over his shoulder like the nosy shit he was but Ethan had already chucked his phone back in his bag.
“Nah, it’s just Patricia,” Ethan shrugged.
Luke blinked. “Who the fuck is Patricia?”
Ethan shot him an odd look. “Patricia, the woman from the estate agency you recommended to me.”
Luke gave him a pensive look. “Why is she blowing up your phone?”
Ethan shrugged again. “Your guess is as good as mine.”
.
As it would turn out, Patricia was contacting him because the apartment he originally signed on for at the start of the year seemed to have sorted the rat infestation problem.
She was cheery in her voicemail she left for him, like it was the best possible news Ethan could have ever received. And maybe it would have been a few months ago, back in September. Even a good few weeks into October, Ethan would have been over the fucking moon to hear his old apartment was available again.
Yet, as he listened to the voicemail now, he couldn’t help but let a sense of dread wash over him.
It was stupid in a way because he knew from the start his situation wasn’t permanent. He knew it was always a short-term solution to a short-term problem. He knew the arrangement between you both wouldn’t last forever—both as roommates and friends with benefits.
There was always a timer on it, but Ethan let himself get lost in the familiarity of it all that the upcoming ending hit him like an unexpected slap in the face.
If he was a sensible and good guy, he would have called Patricia back. He would have told her he was just as happy to hear the update on the previously rat infested apartment. He would have told her he was happy to move in as soon as he can, to have his own place in New Jersey to call his home and his home alone. He would have told her to send over all the paperwork as soon as she can.
But Ethan wasn’t sensible nor was he all that good because he never called her back.
Instead, he chose to pretend as though he hadn’t seen the calls or the voicemails or the messages. He told himself he was focusing on clinching a playoff spot. He told himself he was just prioritising the important stuff and, for as long as he had a roof over his head, the other apartment wasn’t a priority.
Ethan chose not to acknowledge the fact that ignoring and running away from any possible problem was becoming a bit of an odd habit for him over the last few months.
.
As it would turn out, people failed to warn Ethan that March Madness seemed to extend into a player’s personal life.
He couldn’t quite work out the exact moment everything changed but he noticed the switch two weeks into March. And he was fucking baffled. And almost embarrassed that it took him so long to catch on to your sudden cold behaviour.
If you were giving him the cold shoulder, Ethan would have assumed he had done something to piss you off. It wasn’t like you hadn’t done it before, the two of you had your fair share of petty roommate disagreements over the months where one of you would give the other silent treatment. But it never lasted more than an hour or so before you sat down and talked it out.
Ethan would have preferred if he was just given the silent treatment from you.
Instead, he got…whatever the hell you were doing now.
For a few days, Ethan considered that he was just being dramatic. That maybe it was something at work or in one of your classes. That eventually you’d come to him with whatever was bothering you and he would listen and this weird tension between the two of you would disappear.
He lost hope in that theory after a week.
You were talking to him, almost as normal, but there was a tinge to it. A shift. Almost like a step back. It felt like the early months as roommates, when your answers were shorter more often than not, when you treated each other as acquaintances with a mutual friend.
It felt fucking wrong.
And then there was the physical aspect.
It wasn’t like the two of you were on each other at every possible moment together. It wasn’t even about the sex. It was the way you pulled away from him like his touch burned you, like it was odd for him to casually nudge your hip with his own as he walked past you in the kitchen. It was the way you seemed to avoid sitting too close to him on the couch.
It was the way it felt like the two of you were reverting back to the awkward, polite strangers you were back in September.
He hated it but he didn’t know how to get it back when you seemed so adamant to keep him at arm’s length.
It was disorienting as fuck.
It was wrong.
It was everything he feared for.
It was almost-definitely-possibly worse than you rejecting him.
And Ethan felt like he was fucking spiralling with the realisation that he may have lost you and he wasn’t exactly sure how.
.
And just when Ethan craved normalcy in his life, Luke started acting weird too.
The youngest Hughes brother shut down any attempts to hang out outside of practice or training. He didn’t seem as talkative or chatty with Ethan the way he usually was, leaving most of their conversations to surround hockey or strategies or upcoming games.
Fuck, even Seamus was weirded out by Luke’s sudden change in behaviour.
It didn’t take long for the other boys in the team to notice the growing tension between the two boys. Jack kept shooting his brother weird looks. Nico seemed concerned. Even Curtis looked a bit awkward and unsure at what to say. Him, Luke and Seamus had been such a trio since Ethan joined the Devils at the start of the season.
Now it seemed like Luke tolerated him at best.
But Ethan knew Luke. He knew the way the boy would get when he was upset. He knew the way the boy tended to shut down a bit, knew that he needed the space to be moody and brood a little (the outcome of being the youngest child) before he was ready to forgive and forget and move on.
However, Luke Hughes seemed more than happy to carry out whatever grudge he was holding—even if it was affecting their game on the ice.
“What the fuck was that?”
Luke didn’t even bother turning to look at him, reaching to pull his practice jersey over his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“For fuck’s sake, Luke,” Ethan growled, angry and frustrated and done with whatever bitchy mood he was still in. “I was open. You saw that I was open and you fucking ignored me. What if we were in a game? What if that cost us a goal?”
“It’s just a practice,” Luke shot back, deadpan and unamused. “Calm down.”
“Calm down? Calm down?!” Ethan laughed, bitter and irritated. “This isn’t a fucking joke, Luke. I don’t know what your problem with me is but it’s fucking ridiculous if you’re willing to sacrifice the team for it.”
Seamus took a step towards them. “Okay, maybe we just need—”
“No,” Ethan snapped, a buzz of adrenaline rushing through him. “No, if he has a problem with me then I want him to fucking say it instead of keeping it some secret like—some coward!”
“Oh, that’s rich coming from you,” Luke snapped back at him. “You know all about secrets, Edwards.”
His brows furrowed together. “Stop fucking talking in riddles, Hughes.”
“Oh Jesus,” Seamus grumbled under his breath.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” Luke hissed.
“No, I don’t!” Ethan gritted out. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re on about!”
“And I don’t know who the fuck you are anymore!” Luke bit back, enough hurt and anger in his voice that it left Ethan—and the rest of the locker room—silent. “I thought you were one of my closest friends. I thought you were a good guy. Clearly you’ve changed.”
Ethan frowned. “What?”
“Okay, everyone out!” Nico clapped his hands together, snapping Luke and Ethan out of their little moment as the captain began shepherding the rest of the team out.
“Aw, come on, it was just getting good!” Curtis whined but sighed as he followed the rest of the boys out of the locker room, all in various degrees of undress as they left Ethan and Luke alone.
Ethan watched them all go before he turned back to Luke, a look of hurt and pure confusion on his face.
“I helped you out,” Luke rasped, swallowing harshly. His voice was softer, a little raw too. Like the fight had left him and all that was left was disappointment. “You needed a place to stay and I convinced her to let you stay, vouched that you were a good guy, that you weren’t a fucking douche, and you had to go and fucking play her like that.”
Ethan blinked. “What the fuck are you on about?”
“Ethan,” Luke muttered, his name full of frustration. “I know about the two of you. I’ve known for a while, I’m not fucking stupid.”
His heart sped up a little, despite himself. “What does our…agreement have to do with you?”
Luke shot him a look of disbelief. “Because she’s my friend! Because you’ve strung her along for months and now you don’t even have the decency to tell her you’re leaving!”
Ethan blinked again. “I—what?”
“You’re moving back to your own place and you—why do you look so confused?”
“Because I am confused!” Ethan squeaked out.
Luke slowly blinked. “So…you’re not taking Patricia up on her offer and moving out?”
“No!” Ethan replied, still looking confused. “Why would you think I am?”
“Because she keeps calling and emailing you!” Luke shot back.
“And I haven’t answered a single one!” Ethan retorted.
“Huh,” Luke murmured, his mind whirling with a million different thoughts. “Well, her emails suggest otherwise.”
Ethan tilted his head. “What do you mean?”
“I—” Luke sighed, looking serious once again. “I need you to be honest with me.”
Ethan shifted in his spot. “What?”
“Are you serious about her?” Luke questioned.
Ethan frowned. “Who? Patricia?”
“I—no,” Luke sighed deeply. “Unless you’ve been sleeping with Patricia this whole time—”
“What? No, no!” Ethan spluttered out. “I have—wait, does she think I’m moving out?”
Luke looked a bit sheepish. “I think you need to go have that conversation with her.”
“Fuck,” Ethan breathed out, something quite like nausea twisting in his stomach. “And she….I’m not….I would never play her like that. It’s literally the opposite!”
Luke raised his brow. “The opposite?”
“I—fuck, I need to go,” Ethan muttered to himself under his breath, not even acknowledging the other boy as he began to yank his gear off.
“Woah, Ethan, you need to—”
“I need to fix this,” Ethan interrupted. “She can’t—I need to tell her.”
The last thing Luke—or any of the boys—saw was Ethan rushing out of the locker room, looking frazzled and flustered and panicked.
.
Ethan wished he could say he was calm and collected when he finally made it to your shared apartment but that would be a fucking lie.
He was a mess when he arrived. Despite driving back, he was still breathless and panting as he forgoed the elevator, choosing to take the stairs two-at-a-time until he reached your floor. His hair was a mess, his cheeks were flushed, his keys were the only thing in his possession as he raced towards the door. He wasn’t even sure where his phone was. Nor did he care.
His only goal was to get to you.
It was embarrassing how badly his hands were shaking as he tried to shove the key into the lock, taking more attempts than he cared to admit before he managed to open the door. He didn’t even care about your neighbours as he began calling out your name, praying to every god he could think of that you were home.
He could have collapsed from relief when you wandered out of your room, a mixed look of concern and confusion on your face when you spotted him standing in the living room.
“Are you okay?”
Ethan tried to find the words to answer you. He tried to wrack his brain for a response to your question, a coherent sentence to calm the clear uneasiness in your voice. And yet, all he could do was stare at you and think one single thought that was leaving his lips before he could even stop himself.
“I’m in love with you!”
You blinked in response.
“Like, so painfully in love with you that I didn’t think it was possible to feel this way about someone. But it is. And I do. And I can’t keep it to myself anymore because I think I am genuinely going insane,” Ethan continued.
Your lips parted a little in surprise, but still no words left your mouth.
“And I should probably stop talking and embarrassing myself further because you’re not saying anything and I’m usually a lot better at these kinds of things,” Ethan blurted out. “But you’ve been pulling away the last few weeks and I can’t take it anymore because it’s killing me. It’s killing me that I have to keep pretending I’m fine with everything when I’m not.”
His body was moving before he could stop himself. He was taking steps forward, closing the small distance between you two because Ethan couldn’t stop the pull you had on him—on his body, his mind, his whole fucking world.
“I’m in love with you. Like in a ‘I wanna come home to you every night and kiss you because we are dating’ kind of way, not a ‘we are roommates who made up this weird agreement’ way.” Ethan breathed out, his voice just above a whisper but you heard him loud and clear. “And I don’t expect you to say you feel the same way but I can’t keep it anymore and—”
He was cut off by you throwing yourself at him, arms winding around his neck and lips on his. He didn’t even care about the rest of his sentence, sinking into the kiss like a starved man eating for the first time. The relief of feeling your body pressed against his was almost as addicting as the adrenaline pumping through his veins when you let out a blissful sigh.
“M’not moving out,” he managed to mutter out between kisses as he wrapped his arms around your waist, keeping you tight against him. “Whatever you think—”
You pulled away a few inches, just enough to see his face. “Your laptop was open,” you murmured, something sheepish and guilty written across your face. “And the email came through from your estate agent about signing a new lease and I got in my own head about it. I thought you were going to leave and I wanted to protect myself from falling further and—”
“Falling further?” He repeated, a hopeful smile beginning to take over his face.
“Yeah,” you whispered, your smile mirroring his. “Turns out sleeping with your roommate is a real catalyst for falling in love with him.”
“Lucky me,” Ethan murmured before leaning back in to kiss you. “And I’m not leaving until you want me to leave.”
“We’ve really gone through this relationship thing in a weird order, huh?” You mused, laughing a little when Ethan kept leaning in to kiss you.
“Yeah but I think it’s worked out pretty well for us,” he murmured, his nose playfully nudging yours.
Ethan Edwards thought he was prepared for his rookie year.
He wasn’t. Not in the slightest. Nobody ever was, not really. He wasn’t fully prepared to fall in love either.
But with you in his arms and the Devils only points away from clinching a playoff spot, he thought his rookie year was going far better than anything he could have prepared for.
.
#ethan edwards#nhl#umich hockey#new jersey devils#ethan edwards x reader#ethan edwards x you#ethan edwards x y/n#ethan edwards fic#ethan edwards one shot#nhl x reader#nhl x you#nhl x y/n#nhl fic#nhl one shot#umich hockey x reader
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a/n: happy no shave/no nut november! an anon had asked about this challenge for william and i couldn’t resist. 😇 thanks to the anons that helped out on deciding on the prize! enjoy and get ready for so much more fic fun to come!
word count: 4.8k
tw: so much smut, dirty talk, masturbation (f and m) but not finishing, fingering (f recieving), nipple play, use of toys, creampie, edging, honestly it’s a no nut november fic so it’s just porn without plot (let me know if i missed anything)
summary: between william taking part in no shave november and no nut november, you think you’re going to go crazy. who knew the month could feel so long?
“I hate November.”
Your whine is obnoxious even to your own ears, childish and petulant. You kick a foot out on the mattress for good measure and William laughs.
“Älskling,” he coos, coming over to the bed and wrapping a hand around your ankle. He tugs gently and you slide easily down the mattress towards him. “You didn’t have to agree to the bet.”
“Yes I did,” you grumble, kicking your other foot at him. He catches it easily in his free hand and then suddenly, you’re trapped, both of your legs held in the air before William pulls you forward again and has you wrap your thighs around his hips. His hands are warm on your skin, calloused fingers stroking gentle, lazy circles. You’re fully aware that, with your legs spread like this, he could easily get his hands on your cunt and can probably feel the heat radiating from between your legs.
Your clit gives a painful throb, untouched and desperate for him.
Nearly three weeks without sex and you’ve never been hornier in your entire life.
It hadn’t been bad at first, and then you’d been on your period and the thought of being touched at all was repulsive. But now you’re rapidly hurtling towards ovulation week and it’s nearly impossible to be in the same room as William without wanting to jump him.
William’s keeping his lips zipped, but the second you find out which one of his godforsaken teammates decided a No Nut November bet was a good idea, you’re killing them.
Of course, you’re partially to blame since you’d laughed at William and told him “how hard can it be? To not have sex for a month.” So he’d made a bet with you, challenging you to take part and not come for the whole month and do the challenge with him. You’d agreed, not really deciding on what the winner gets since you’d figured that you would be able to outlast your boyfriend and would just make him do whatever you wanted anyway. Maybe you’ll make him do all the laundry for a month.
What you’d conveniently forgotten was that No Nut November coincided with No Shave November and William’s rocking a moustache that shouldn’t turn you on as much as it does.
“You did this to yourself,” William laughs, torturing you by running his palms up the inside of your thighs and stopping inches from where you need him the most. “You can stop any time.”
He knows you can’t, knows you’re stubborn as hell.
You scowl at him, completely disagreeable with the lack of orgasms. Your whole body feels tight and like a live wire. Any touch might be enough to send you over the edge.
Frustratingly, William doesn’t seem to be as bothered as you are. Sure, he’s been walking around with some aggressive erections, his thick cock prominent against the front of his pants when he’s home with you. But he’s been like a maniac on the ice, racking up goals and assists at a pace that rocketed him to the top of team’s point sheet.
“I don’t know how this isn’t frustrating you,” you mutter, kicking your heel lazily against the top of his ass. You’re satisfied to see the shape of his cock press against his jeans, thickening slowly. “Shouldn’t you be all cranky and blue balled?”
“Trust me, älskling,” William grumbles, “my balls are plenty blue. But I get my frustration out on the ice. If I’m scoring a goal or whatever, I’m not thinking about how fucking horny I am or how badly I want to fuck you into the mattress.”
You let out a little squeak and your legs instinctively try to close, blocked by William’s bulk. He grins wickedly when your thighs flex and you nearly cry when his hand snakes up and his fingers press against your core, plastering the fabric of your panties against your wet cunt. You wiggle, trying to get away from him, but all it does is make your clit pulse and arousal drip more steadily down the seam of your ass.
“Williammmmm,” you whine, kicking at his back and reaching to pull his hand away. Your grip on his wrist falters when his fingers press down harder, a gasp punching from your lungs.
“You’re so wet, huh, my girl?” He murmurs, dick twitching in his pants. His gaze is locked on you, watching as a wet spot forms on the fabric, soaked through your panties and onto your shorts. “If you asked nicely, I could make you come right now. Just a few presses of my fingers against your little clit and you’d feel better.”
It sounds so nice, relief from the achy fire that’s consumed your body for three weeks. Getting rid of the lust fog in your brain too would be helpful. And he’s right, a quick twitch of his fingers against your clit and you’d probably be a goner. But then you’d also be a loser, and you refuse to be a loser.
“No, no, I’m fine,” you manage to choke out, breathless. Your hips move on their own accord and you know you need to get him away from you soon or you’re definitely going to lose.
“You sure?” He laughs, stoking you lightly.
You nod, biting hard on your tongue. William’s lips are curled up in a wicked smile that immediately turns into a frown and a grunt when you shift your leg and angle your knee so you can press the heel of your foot against the hard bulge in his pants. He grunts again when you press down, smiling sweetly at him.
Shoe’s on the other foot now.
“I could take care of that little problem you’re having,” you murmur, getting relief when he finally moves his hand off your cunt to grab your ankle again and pull it away from his dick. He lets you rest the sole of your foot against his stomach and moves his other hand to block access to his dick.
“You know my problem isn’t little,” he retorts, pinching the top of your foot and making your toes twitch against his shirt. “If anything, it’s getting bigger by the day. You’re going to have a massive load to take when this is over.”
You whine and wriggle on the bed, your core clenching desperately around nothing. “Stop, you’re playing dirty,” you complain. “It’s not fair when you do all the dirty talk looking like that.” You wave your hand in the vague direction of his face.
“Oh yeah, ‘cause you walking around in that skimpy ass towel for an hour after you got out of the shower two nights ago was all above board and clean play,” William drawls, rolling his eyes. He doesn’t seem to realize that his hand is working absently over the fly of his pants, his gaze flickering between your legs and back to your face.
“Yeah,” you shoot back, yanking your ankle away from his grip and rolling away from him, “because I’m just a girl and I can’t be held accountable for my actions.”
You get to your feet, still half draped over the mattress, and wince at the uncomfortably wet feeling between your legs. A cold shower and change of clothes will do wonders for your mood.
William rolls his eyes at you, his hand still moving over his cock, and you’re tempted to let him continue so you can win. But one of the dogs barks out in the living room and William turns to the door, hand falling away from his pants.
“Saved by the dogs,” you mutter, grabbing a pair of jeans out of your drawer to change. It’s time for their pre-game walk and you need the fresh air to cool off.
The walk works to tamp down the worst of your arousal and you manage to make it through the game easily enough. Although every time William throws his body against an opponent, you find your face getting warm and your belly flipping. Damn him.
It doesn’t get easier when you’re tucked together in bed after the game, watching TV to unwind instead of your usual post-game routine of fucking until one or both of you passes out. You miss that routine.
“Ah, fuck, stop that,” William grunts, pushing at your hip to put a little space between your ass and his cock. You wiggle, annoyed that he dislodged his half-hard cock from where it was resting in the seam between your ass cheeks.
“I was comfy,” you whine, rolling over onto your stomach. You tilt your head and look at William with wide, pleading eyes and subtly arch your back a little so your ass lifts in the air.
William swats at your ass gently, a bolt of lust shooting right to your clit. “Yeah, too comfy. You’re playing dirty, älskling,” he says with a good-natured smile. The smile twitches his moustache and you sigh, unable to look away from it. All you can imagine is how it would feel between your legs.
You fold your hands under your cheek and lift your leg to drape your thigh over William’s hip. He lets his hand drag up and down your thigh, keeping his touch chaste even as you can see his cock harden in his boxers, tenting and warping the shape of the plaid fabric.
“What if,” you mumble, “we call a draw. We both finish at the same time?”
The perpetual state of horny is starting to make you feel crazy. That coupled with the wave of exhaustion that’s hitting now that it’s the end of the week, you’re ready to jump William and be done with this stupid challenge.
“Say the word,” William’s jaw clicks as he stifles a yawn. It might be insulting that he’s yawning if he hadn’t played a team high time of twenty two minutes on ice and scored two goals. “I’ll make you come in a second.”
“Ugh, no,” you grumble, pressing your face into your pillow. “I want to win fair and square.”
William’s blunt nails scrape against your skin and he drags your thigh higher up on his hip, opening you up to him. “You’re so competitive, älskling,” he mumbles. “‘S what I love about you.”
His words settle warmly in your stomach and you reach a hand out to hook your fingers in the thick chain around his neck, pulling him closer so you can kiss him softly. His moustache scratches at your upper lip and you trace your tongue over his, deepening the kiss even though you know it’s going to drive you both crazy. William’s hand tightens on your thigh, fingers pressing into your skin hard enough to bruise, and you’re both breathless when you break the kiss.
“When you lose, I want my reward to be sitting on your face,” you mutter, huffing a faint laugh out of your nose. William pinches your thigh and you swat at his hand.
“Fuckin’ tease,” he says, tone full of frustrated affection. He presses a soft kiss to your forehead and drags you closer, wrapping his arms around your back to keep you in place. You won’t fall asleep like this, but it’s always nice to be tucked up close to William, with his heartbeat thumping steadily under your cheek and his fingers tracing nonsense patterns on your skin.
William’s gone early the next morning, with a kiss to your lips and a light spank to your ass, off on a road trip that’ll keep him away from you for nearly a week. He’ll be home again on the twenty-sixth, with just four days left in the month. The temptation is mostly gone with him, your libido getting a reprieve when you aren’t able to look at his face every day and imagine it between your thighs.
He does his best to tempt you, sending voice memos and photos that have your hands drifting below the waist band of your pajama bottoms when you’re in bed, like a horny teenage boy desperate to jack off. You honestly hadn’t realize that you could even be this horny, your previous boyfriends never inspiring this kind of lust or arousal.
Of course, you give just as good as you get, replying to his messages with pictures of your own featuring new lingerie sets in the royal blue of the Leafs’ jersey. You’re particularly proud of one picture that gets William calling you immediately to complain about playing dirty. You can hear the schlicking sound of his hand choking his cock through the phone and you click your tongue.
“I hope you’re not going to come before the end of the month,” you sing-song. “I thought you had better willpower than that?”
“Älskling,” he groans, a strangled noise, “I’m just about ready to end this shit and fuck you until you scream. My dick is so fucking hard, it’s goddamn painful.”
“Forfeit and I’ll take care of you when you get home tomorrow,” you offer, stomach flipping when you hear his hand’s continued movement. William grunts directly in your ear and the noise shoots straight to your clit, making it swell and throb.
His familiar chuckle draws you back to the conversation, “no way. There’s only five days left in the month. I’m not quitting now, I’ll just take another cold as fuck shower.”
You grumble, annoyed that he refuses to forfeit and impressed by his willpower. November thirtieth is going to be a night for the books.
It’s a bad idea, you know, tempting fate and all that with William expected home in a few hours. If he catches you, if you go slightly too far, you’ll lose the challenge and William will know that you were too horny for your better angels to prevail.
But you miss the feeling of his cock wedged tight in your cunt, filling and stretching you to your limits.
Besides, knowing that it’s risky and you have to keep yourself just at the edge of the orgasm is making your heart beat fast in your chest and your cunt get slick.
You’re comfortable on the bed in nothing but one of William’s t-shirts, the faint remnants of his cologne infused in the fabric. With one leg bent and your foot planted on the mattress, you circle your clit with two fingers, relaxing back against the pillows. It’s light pressure, but enough to get the bundle of nerves swollen and wet. Arousal drips from your entrance and you know there’s going to be a puddle under your ass even if you don’t finish, but you spread your legs a little more and cool air hits your flushed skin.
All of your nerve endings are on fire and you haven’t even started with your toy. It’s shorter and narrower than William, but it’ll do the job in a pinch. When he’s away, you use it more often, no reason to use it when you have the real thing. But you’re at the end of your rope and need the feeling of something filling you, even if it’s just silicone.
It’s just a little plastic cockwarming, you rationalize. You’re not actually going to come, just edge yourself into insanity since you’re already half feral with arousal.
The first press of the toy against your entrance takes your breath away and you work your hips a little frantically over the silicone, soaked and panting with each little push. Your clit twitches and throbs, walls fluttering around the toy as you settle it in place with a final nudge.
“Fuck,” you whine, breathless and trying not to clench around the length of silicone. You close your eyes and focus on your breathing, imagining it’s William’s hot, throbbing cock nestled inside of you, imagining that you’re keeping him warm in a reward for your delayed orgasm. Just the feeling of being stretched out is better than you thought it would be, after so long with nothing to satisfy you.
You whine his name involuntarily, carefully fucking yourself with the toy to make sure you don’t get too close to the edge. Your stomach muscles clench and your fingers brush against your clit, sending shockwaves of electricity throughout your body. When it’s too much, you stop, leaving the toy half in your cunt, arousal dripping down the curve of your ass.
The sound of your heavy breathing is filling the room and you’ve got an arm thrown over your face, heat radiating off your body. Your hair feels damp from sweat and you haven’t even gotten to come. It was a mistake, to edge yourself so much because now you’re feeling even more twitchy, frustrated with the pit of your stomach in knots from holding yourself back.
Your legs feel limp, too heavy to get up and you close your eyes. There’s still a couple of hours before William is home and you need to bring yourself back to a baseline so you focus on your breathing, twitching around the silicone half buried in your cunt.
A warm chuckle rouses you, working its way through the fog of sleep cloaking your brain. You hum and stretch, dislodging the toy from between your legs slightly, a spark of electricity racing through your veins.
“William?” You mumble sleepily, cracking one eye open.
The shape of him is fuzzy around the edges, but you catch the upturn in his cheeks that means he’s smiling at you and the way his arms are crossed over his bare chest. You blink again and he comes more into focus, the grey sweats hanging low and loose on his hips, the hair on his chest fluffed in the way you know means he ran his hands over it roughly after his shower.
“Sleeping Beauty’s been naughty, huh?” He chuckles and you wrinkle your nose at him, still half asleep until he leans one knee on the mattress and reaches his hand out to nudge his knuckles against the base of the silicone dick that’s half buried in your cunt.
You’d nearly forgotten about it and yelp when it shifts an inch or two further inside of you and try to snap your legs shut. William’s reflexes are faster and his other hand grabs at your knee, holding your legs wide open. His grin is positively filthy as he takes in the mess between your legs.
“I didn’t come,” you inform him primly, fisting one hand in the duvet cover.
“Oh yeah?” William clicks his tongue. “Just sat here like a good girl and edged yourself?”
It’s clear from his tone that he doesn’t believe you and really, why should he? Especially when you have the evidence between your legs and drying smears of arousal on your inner thighs.
“Mhm,” you hum, wriggling away. William’s grip is tight on you, his fingers dancing around the base of the toy, twisting it ever so slightly. You hiccup a gasp.
“Seems like a silly way to lose the bet,” his voice is low, raspy. Deft fingers continue to twist the toy inside of you, making your clit swell and your stomach clench. “Coming on a plastic cock instead of mine. But, if that’s how you want to lose…”
He trails off and pushes the remaining few inches inside of you, punching a gasp from your lungs and making your back arch off the bed. You shout and scratch at his forearms, shaking your head. “No, no,” you murmur. “Wan’ your cock, William!”
It’s torture, the way he slowly fucks the toy in and out of you, your walls clenching and arousal dripping down the curve of your ass. Your breathing is heavy, chest rising and falling as you get closer and closer to the edge. William murmurs filth to you, leaning over your body. His cock is thick and hard behind his sweats, and you can feel it twitch where it’s pressed against your thigh.
“Beautiful, my beautiful, dirty girl,” he coos, using his free hand to push the fabric of your stolen shirt up your stomach until it’s bunched up under your chin and your breasts are free for him to play with. He leans down and alternates sucking each nipple into his mouth, his moustache scraping against your skin and his tongue circling each nipple until they’re tight and painful.
“Please,” you whimper, bending your leg and opening yourself wider for him. “I’m done, I quit.”
You can’t stand it any more, the lack of orgasms is making you crazy. It’s not worth winning. Not with William’s dirty mouth running in your ear and his cock hard against your thigh.
“Mutual,” he grumbles, shoving his sweats down with one hand and you gasp, nearly relieved, when you feel the velvety soft skin of his shaft against your thigh. The wet head of his cock slicks against your hip and you arch into him. “Stupid challenge anyway.”
In one quick motion, William yanks the silicone toy from your cunt and replaces it with his cock, your indignant whine morphing quickly into a wanton moan. He fills you to the brim, balls slapping against your ass and clit rubbing against the coarse hair at the base of his dick.
“Oh my god,” you gasp, lifting your knees to his sides and meeting him thrust for thrust. It’s not going to take long for either of you to come like this, spiky hot pleasure already building low in your stomach.
“Fuck, fuck I love this pussy,” William growls, burying his face in the valley between your breasts. The scrape of his moustache and stubble are going to leave makes all over your skin, but you can’t wait. “So goddamn tight and wet, squeezing my cock. Fuck, älskling, so fucking good. Gonna fill you up, gonna make you feel so good.”
You’re not even sure if you’re saying actual words around the noises you’re making as the head of William’s cock batters your g-spot, thickening and swelling inside the tight grip of your cunt. You wail when he presses his thumb against your sore, swollen clit and kick a foot against his back, making him grunt.
He latches his lips around one of your nipples, tonguing at it until it’s stiff and puffy. You arch your back, pressing up into his mouth and the coil of pleasure tightens in your stomach.
“Please, please, oh my god, please William,” you chant, scratching at his back and moaning when his hand splays over your stomach and presses down, the pressure making you see stars behind your eyelids.
“Gonna come, älskling, almost there,” he mumbles, adjusting his angle to hit even deeper inside of you. “Gonna come together, yeah? Me and you, right now, go ahead. Come on, prinsessa, come all over my cock.”
William rubs circles around your clit and you can feel his cock twitch and thicken, bumping up against your g-spot to finally send you over the edge. Your stomach clenches and starbursts dance behind your eyes as the force of your orgasm hits. Above you, William groans and his hips stutter, coming at the same time you do. He fills you, his hips pumping and his fingers working at your clit so you’re both shaking and panting heavily. Beads of sweat roll down his temples and you can feel the sheen of sweat all over your skin.
Your legs tremble with the aftershocks of your orgasm and William finally finishes emptying inside of you, more than he ever has before and putting your IUD to work.
He collapses on top of you, forcing the last little bit of air left in your lungs out in a harsh exhale. You huff a laugh, running your fingertips over the sweaty, muscled planes of his back, enjoying it when he laughs as you tickle at the spaces between his ribs.
Your legs are locked around his back, his cock still hard inside of you and you rock slightly under him, fully relishing in the feeling. His chest hair is soft against your skin and you try to shimmy around so you can keep feeling it rub against you.
“We’re never going this long without sex again,” William mutters into the crook of your neck. His cock twitches inside of you and he flexes his hips. You can feel the warmth of his come when it’s pushed out of you, making you shiver a bit.
“Stupid challenge,” you agree. The fabric of your shirt is still bunched up under your neck and it’s choking you a bit, but you’re too sated to move. William works his hand between your bodies and toys with your breast, scraping his thumb nail over the sensitive point of your nipple. You clench around him and he grunts. Your clit still feels swollen and sore and need builds up low in your stomach. “I need another, Will.”
His mouth is lazily sucking a mark against your collarbone and he releases you with a wet pop. Propping himself up on one elbow, William grins down at you with a hungry look in his eyes. His hair is messy and damp with sweat. “We need to make up for lost time,” he replies, sweeping his hand up and down your stomach, brushing his fingers close to your clit to see if he can get your hips to jerk. A twitch of his hips has his half-hard cock slipping in and out of your slick cunt, an almost obscenely wet sound filling the room.
You nod, taking your fingers through his chest hair and down through the trail below his belly button. His stomach muscles jump under your touch.
“I think we can be conservative and say I need at least twenty more,” you grin, clenching around him to watch his face twist up in an expression of pleasure. “When you take into account the travel days and whatnot.”
His laughter is bright and loud and he tweaks your nipple. “Greedy,” he murmurs. “Let’s start with three and see if we can beat that record first.”
You let your legs fall to the side and open yourself up for him. Grinning wickedly, you reply, “do your best, Mr. Nylander.”
An hour and a half later, after you’ve gotten two more orgasms and William washed your hair for you in the shower, you’re curled up against his chest with an icy blue Gatorade poured into your fancy Anthropologie glass.
Your legs are shaky, but you’ve never been more content in your life.
“I would say I’m sorry that you lost the team’s challenge, but,” you shrug, sipping at the drink, “I’m really not.”
“Eh, worth it,” William replies. “Only a couple guys left anyway. Hell, even Kniesy lost back in week two and he’s the idiot that suggested it.”
You gasp, shooting up in the bed and nearly spilling your Gatorade. “I’ve been in the orgasm desert because of Matt and he didn’t even have the decency to WIN the challenge?”
William laughs and shrugs. “Yeah, he kind of sucked at it,” he replies, tugging you back against his side, “I think it’s just Mitchy, Domes, Tanev, and Woller left.”
“Wait,” you frown. “What was the prize for winning?”
“We each kicked in one-fifty,” William rolls his up to the ceiling and squints while he does the math. “So, three k? Plus winner gets a steak dinner from Reavo since he was the first to cave and we all have to kick in for the winner’s golf club membership for a year.”
“Jesus,” you roll your eyes. “What is it with you guys and the steak dinners? And if I had known that these were the prizes, I would’ve held out another four days! I thought it was just like a pride thing.”
William laughs again and you let him pull you onto his lap, settling right over his cock. “Älskling, none of us would do this shit if it were just pride on the line,” he says seriously, resting his hands on your hips and letting his fingers dip below the waistband of your sweats.
You roll your eyes again and pout, “obviously cold hard cash, steak, and a golf membership were the only three things that could get you idiots to keep it in your pants.”
“None of those things are holding me back now,” William teases, leaning in to pepper kisses against your jaw. “Want me to take it out of my pants?”
The scratch of his facial hair feels good against your skin and you know you’re going to be beyond marked up tomorrow, but you angle your head to the side anyway to give him better access.
You hum, taking stock of the pleasant soreness between your legs and the flicker of arousal pooling low in your stomach. He kisses down the column of your neck, nipping gently at the jut of your collarbone. William’s hips rock under you and you can feel him grow hard and press into your core.
“I think I could go for a fourth,” you grin, gasping when he trusts his hips up into yours.
“Steak dinner is overrated anyway,” William replies, before taking your cup and putting it on the bedside table so he can manhandle you onto your back. “I’ve got something better to eat.”
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Fluff + Angst | Wanderer x GN!Reader Human
SUMMARY You make him feel human.
CONTENT Angst to fluff, mentions of Wanderer's trauma, mentions of suicidal ideation, he's kinda mean to you at first, CHARACTERS ARE 18+
AUTHOUR'S NOTE THIS IS WAS INSPIRED BY YOU MY POOKIE @thepurestgirll TY FOR BEING SO SWEET ESP BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE MANY MOOTS JFKDS;LAJ I love your fics and aesthetic and I hope to continue to see your content because I will always be here to love and support it >:)
WORD COUNT: 854
Quiet sobs rack through the empty metal chamber. In the middle sits a man puppet of a man. Clutching the electro gnosis to his chest as his tears pelt the cold floor. Wasn’t this all he ever wanted? He finally has a “heart,” he should feel human, loved, and fit in now, right? But why is he crying? Why does he still feel hollow? Why does he want to give it all up to just be a normal human? Why did his mother create him this way just to throw him aside and make him suffer even more? Why not just have killed him long ago? Should he do it himself? Be free of this wretched body? Be free of all the earthly pain?
So many questions swirled in his mind. His gentle soul has been beat and battered to the point where he doesn’t know the meaning of peace anymore. He’s been alive for so long, chasing the same answer, the same goal. Yet, here he is. So many questions and not a single fucking answer.
Even after all that extra bullshit with Nahida, the traveler, and Irminsul, he only got bits and pieces of answers he needed. He was still lost and hurting, not that he’d ever admit that. So naturally he’s a complete ass to you when all you’re trying to do is help. You’re another adventurer and you often help the traveler when needed. You witnessed a good amount of Wanderer’s tragic journey in Sumeru and afterwards asked Nahida (his mom) if it would be a good idea to try to talk to him. She said yes but that it’d be quite… difficult.
You persevered, though. Through every insult thrown your way, all the times he ignored you, and even the times his attitude almost got you hurt when adventuring. After weeks of it, he found himself here, crying, but this time, in your arms.
He was yelling at you like he usually does but this time it was because you almost got crushed by debris while you two were out on combat commissions. He was telling you how stupid you were, how it would’ve gotten you killed, and how he… couldn’t let it happen. You smiled at him, hearing him say something caring for the first time since you started this whole mission of yours. You walk towards him slowly as he continues to insult you.
“You stupid humans, you never think before you act. Imagine what would’ve happened if I didn’t call out to you to warn you. You-… You’d be dead! I’d spite you because of it! You and your human body, so fucking fragile. Why did I ever want to be like your kind anyways?”
As you close the distance, he gets panicked and confused, shouting at you.
“Why are you even still here anyways?! Isn’t all this too much for you? Why would you want to help someone like me? Don’t you know I’m not human? Why would you want me here? Why would you want to stay? W-why…”
You reach out your arms to slowly envelop him in a hug as his tears well in his eyes. He puts his hands on your shoulders to push you back lightly as if he didn’t want the contact, but he was barely putting up a fight. You both knew that if he didn’t want you to touch him, you wouldn’t even be able to.
“Why… do you even care about me,” he croaked out as his voice started to crack.
“Because I see all the good in you, and I want you to let others see it as well,” you say gently as you pull him close, arms around his waist.
He feels his emotions finally boil over as waves of sadness wash over him. His legs fail under him and you lower the two of you to the grass. He buries his head into your shoulder, sobbing harder as your warmth permeates his body that has only known the cold for so so many years. His arms clutch your head as he stains your shoulder with tears.
You feel so warm. You feel so human. It makes him feel human.
You’ve been taking such good care of him and he doesn’t think he deserves it, but he doesn’t voice it to you, at least not now. You let him cry it out while patting his back. You imagine he hasn’t ever been comforted while crying before and it’s what’s making him cry harder.
You two end the afternoon with him exhausted and you offer to let him rest his head on your legs. You pat his hair as he drifts into sleep, feeling safe for the first time in a long while. The sun warms both your bodies and you bask in it.
You two probably have a lot to talk about when he wakes up. But you stay silent for now. Enjoying the peace that he rarely gets to have. It’s a long healing journey ahead of you two but this puppet man knows that he wouldn’t rather embark on it with anyone else.
|| MASTERLIST ♡ || Thank you for reading! ||
#wanderer x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#j's silly ramblings#scaramouche x reader#balladeer x reader#reader x wanderer#reader x scaramouche#kunikuzushi x reader#wanderer angst#scaramouche angst#wanderer fluff#scaramouche fluff#genshin fluff#genshin angst#genshin impact fluff#genshin impact angst
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The missing piece: Oliver Quick x fem!reader
Part 2 here
Summary: A few months after Saltburn becomes completely his, Oliver still feels like something is missing. Without being able to put a finger on it he decides to pay a visit to Oxford, where all started, trying to find the answer between his old memories. Fate believes that a pretty and sweet student he meets in a bookstore is the piece of the puzzle he needs right now. After all everyone wants to be showered with love, don’t they?
Warnings: Post Saltburn fic, a little bit dark (it’s Oliver, what you expected?), age gap (he is around 15-17 years older), slightly innocent kin? (nothing sexual)
Words: Around 1700
Author's rambles: Okay, I feel in love with him the movie and I am kind of embarrassed about it (It’s not my fault hat the actor has pretty eyes and a gorgeous accent, fine?) For your own good, don’t aspire to have a boyfriend as toxic as him in real life. Also this is my fic on Tumblr, please be nice
Masterlist Characters I write for
Likes and reblogs are appreciated ღ
I do not authorize any of my works to be copied, translated or plagiarized ✗
There is a psychological phenomenon that claims that after achieving something we have been longing for some time instead of the sense of satisfaction we were expecting we feel incomplete, hopeless and already looking forward to our next success. After having the Saltburn's keys just for himself, Oliver experienced that piercing emotion for the first time in his life. If he was painfully unaware of it or simply decided to ignore it remains as an open question until today. The only thing that was certain for him at that time is that he needed some action, a new goal, maybe some entertainment, and specially he needed answers. That’s why he decided to go back to the place it all started nearly sixteen years ago
Oxford hadn’t changed a lot since he graduated, as he had the chance to notice it. Different names, different faces, different decades… But still the same social scheme it was back them. Groups of rich daddy’s and mommy’s children swarming around the campus, pubs where you had to drink to be accepted, and poor little nobodies who had to adapt or die in the process
He rented a large flat not so far away from the university, and in the café just below it he rediscovered a hobby he had always had, but which have been almost forgotten on those last months on the mansion. Looking at the students, being able to read through their facades while accompanied by a cup of coffee, became his new pastime. But people always talk and after some weeks spending the afternoon in the café terrace just lost in his thoughts he realized the odd glances the staff shot towards him, so he decided to hide his true interest behind a less complex and unique one. The next day he went to the closest bookstore to buy any novel that would help him with his purpose, after all, people just ask fewer questions when you are reading on your own. That was when he found you sitting on a couch, legs crossed with a book between your small and soft hands
Pretty, beautiful, gorgeous even. Young, probably still studying at Oxford. On the shy aspect, lovely and smart as he guessed correctly. Sweet smile. Bright eyes. Oh, and some soft curves he was able to peep while he seemed to be looking at the shelves by your side. Wait, was that a blush, what he saw on your cheeks? Another scholarship student as he was back then. The fact that your clothes weren’t from big and expensive brands and that you spent your afternoons in the bookshop without really buying anything was the clue he needed to be sure about it. God, you were adorable, perfect, just what he needed right now and he decided to start working on it
Time had shown him that patience and a good plan could take you far away, this is the reason why, although he was eager to come to you and straight-forward mesmerize you with his tricks, he waited. He spent the next five weeks going to the library more or less daily hoping to see you, and luckily (since he was used to building his own luck) your schedules always matched. He always sat on an armchair to read next to yours, close but not enough to be suspicious. Just after he had made sure you have not so subtly looked at him a few times, he decided to make the move
“The Secret History” a deep silky voice said from behind your seat. His face slightly near to your face which made the words linger in the air for some honey-like seconds “You have a good taste”
“Thanks… Thank you” you manged to say in sweet and shy whisper
“First time you read it?” he asked and a shake of your head was the response he got
“No, I have already read it a couple of times in pdf. But I have never owned the physical book”
“We can have that keep happening, can’t we?” he grinned, and you couldn’t remember if he was the first man who had smiled and looked at you in that way “May I have a look at it?” his large and firm hands came to hold the cover as he stood up and went straight to the cashier “Follow me, darling” the nickname rolled in his tongue, sweet as candy, and before you thought about it, you did as he said. You were obedient, good thing, he thought to himself. He pulled the money out of his wallet in merely seconds, paid for it and hand it back to you
“Thanks, but I can’t accept it” you said slightly embarrassed
“Of course, you can! It truly is an amazing novel, you deserve it” he smirked. His words have had just the reaction he had expected from you, cheeks covered with a tiny hint of pink “I have always found myself relating to Henry Winter, I just need my Camila now”
You were taken back, was that an attempt to flirt? Because if it was, he had your attention. While you tried to make any sense out of your thought, he spoke again
“I am usually on a café nearby, if you are interested you could come sometime” Another smirk, and at that moment you knew that this man was going to be the death to you. Things like this only happened to the main characters in romance movies
“I don’t even know your name”
“ You can call me Oliver, darling”
“I am y/n”
“Beautiful, beautiful y/n, it was a pleasure to meet you. Hope we see each other again”
And you did. Between coffees, books, conversations and more, he had you wrapped around his finger by the time your classes ended. Oliver was sweet, devoted, intelligent… all you could ever ask for in a man. He was straight out of your dreams, and damn he felt you were straight out of his. Innocent, easy to make blush, could keep with his ramblings and most important, you were eager to love, and he was eager to be loved
Yesterday it had been your graduation, when you left the ceremony in that beautiful dress he had insisted on buying you and wrapped your arms around him, he felt like his plan has almost completely succeeded. Almost, you wanted a fairy tale romance, and he was going to give you one. Keeping things slowly and delicate. But when he woke up and felt you laying on his chest sleeping peacefully, he couldn’t help but want to make you his. That had been the only night you had spent in his apartment in your months together. He had sworn to himself that he wouldn't rush, so he didn't. At least he was glad you were coming with him to Saltburn for a few weeks in the summer and you could bet he wouldn’t let you leave the mansion again if he could. After all, you were all that he wanted. His missing piece
Part 2 here
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satisfy 05
summary⇢ “listen,” taehyung says, eyes wide and eager as he smiles at you. “i figure we can just help each other out. i scratch your back, you scratch mine.” but when you find yourself suddenly in need of a massive favor, exactly how much scratching are you willing to do? pairing⇢ seokjin/reader, namjoon/reader, taehyung/reader, …..jimin/reader word count⇢ 15.9k genre⇢ smut | escort!au | ceo!au (kinda) warnings⇢ 😇😇😇😇 *chin hands sweetly* STRAP IN, FOLKS!!: GANGBANG. this chapter will include three brothers having sex with the reader at the same time (but not with each other). if this bothers you, please feel free to skip!, rough sex, unprotected sex, oral (f+m giving/receiving), fingering, face fucking, exhibitionism, voyuerism, da booty getting ate like groceries, assplay, name calling, daddy kink, orgasm denial, forced orgasm, marking, spitroasting, cumplay, bukakke 😭, honestly this is a hot ass MESS and i should be sorry but i’m not 🤷🏽♀️ a/n⇢ well, hello~ long time no see!!!! i'm super pumped about this chapter because it has literally been in the works since i planned this whole fic out years ago 😭 a lot of planning and struggling later, and WE FINALLY HERE 🙌🏾 🙌🏾 i am so relieved that this finally exists in the world and not just in my head lmao. thank you all for hanging with me for this long and being so patient. i hope this chapter lives up to your expectations 😈 only the epilogue left! ���💨👀 mood for this chapter is this song~ hope everyone enjoys!
chapters⇢ previous | next | series masterlist
Days quickly morphed into weeks, time continuing to flow even without you consciously noticing it pass you by. You were just so busy, both your schoolwork and your unconventional part-time job a whirlwind of activity that left you too preoccupied to do much else. Your already scant social life was starting to suffer, but honestly? You were completely fine with that—a neverending schedule of sex, sleep, and studying was more than enough, and it was highly unlikely you would be able to fit anything else onto your overflowing plate anyway.
It was expected for you to not have that much free time, anyway. Jimin’s was waning too, as the further the two of you got into your studies, the busier you both became. You still texted often to make sure each other was alive, but with your differing schedules, the new normal became not getting to see him in person for weeks on end.
You’d be lying if you said you weren’t losing steam. Burning the candle at both ends was finally starting to catch up with you, but there wasn’t much you could do about it other than focusing on powering through it. This was the career path you chose—your dream—and so you simply just had to bear everything that came along with it. You were willing to put the work in to reach your goals, and you just kept reminding yourself that how you were living now was just a means to an end.
Not that you at all only found the Kims to be a means to an end. Yes, they were paying your way through school, but you still really enjoyed the time you spent with each of them. They were all great company in different ways, and at this point, the only time you were freed from the library’s clutches was when one of them wanted to take you somewhere, so you found them to be more of a welcome distraction than anything else.
Unfortunately, that still didn’t change the fact that at the end of the day, you were bone tired.
You had always been good at compartmentalizing. But though you tried your best to not let your slowly-building fatigue show, even your new employers could tell that you were being ran a bit ragged. Namjoon came to pick you up for a date one day, and all it took was one long look at you while you were trying to buckle your seatbelt for him to put the car in park and hustle you back upstairs instead, despite your protests. You thought that maybe he decided to forgo your movie plans for much more carnal activities, but once you were back inside your apartment, he sprawled himself onto your couch and reached for you. You were confused, but when you reflexively took his hand, he simply pulled you down with him and easily folded you into his body.
God, he smelled good. And was comfortable and warm, so it didn’t take long for you to nod off, despite only being fifteen minutes into whatever Netflix movie he had put on. Namjoon spent his scheduled date letting you snore into his chest, and when you woke up hours later, groggy and discombobulated, you found him already gone and a blanket thrown over you.
It didn’t take a genius to realize he must have said something to his brothers. The next day, seemingly out of the blue, you got an email notification that Wendy, Seokjin’s assistant, had canceled an upcoming work lunch that had been on the calendar for weeks. (You highly doubted the lunch itself was canceled—just that Jin had decided to go alone.) And you were so used to Taehyung’s frequent visits that when he didn’t stop by for four days in a row, it became blatantly obvious that something was amiss.
They were giving you space.
But if you were honest, though you appreciated the sudden breathing room in your schedule, all of them suddenly pulling out of the arrangement was making you uneasy. This was a job, after all, and you weren’t fully holding up your end of the bargain. Hell, the week before had been your period, so you hadn’t slept with any of them then, either. And, considering the fact that all three Kims were set to go on an overseas business trip soon, the amount of leave you were inadvertently taking was quickly adding up.
You needed this money. You needed this money, this was not what they agreed to, and you were nervous you were starting to frustrate them.
To their credit, none of them ever seemed to be. Early on, when your period made its first appearance as the perpetual wrench in your plans, Seokjin had casually informed you that he was totally fine with just putting a towel down. However, when he saw you weren’t nearly as enthused with the idea, he simply gave you an easy shrug and said, “Then take whatever time you need.” His brothers had been equally as accommodating, and have been ever since (though Taehyung sometimes still liked to playfully pout at you when you told him Aunt Flo was in town).
But the fact was, you ultimately weren’t holding up your end of the bargain, and that knowledge was constantly hovering in the back of your mind and making you a bit anxious. That was why, days before he was scheduled to leave for his three week business trip, you took initiative and asked Taehyung if he wanted to come over.
Both Seokjin and Namjoon had already graciously canceled their standing appointments with you for the second week in a row, but Taehyung had never had a standing appointment. He was always much more spontaneous than his brothers, and that personality trait was no different when it came to you, so that’s what you were counting on.
[1:32] Hey! Did you want to come over tomorrow? [1:32] Or later today, I guess
Despite it being so late, Tae apparently hadn’t gone to bed yet. He was a bit of a night owl, like you.
Taehyung [1:34] Well hello~ Taehyung [1:34] So nice to hear from you, sweetcheeks. How’s it been going? [1:35] Sweetcheeks, Taehyung? Really? Taehyung [1:35] What? They’ve always looked pretty sweet to me 😌👀
You scoffed, amused and fond. Always an incorrigible flirt, that one.
[1:35] Yeah, okay lol [1:36] So if they’re so sweet, what are you gonna do about it?
A pause, one slightly too long for someone whose phone was in their hand and had been actively responding to you only moments before. You knew you had him even before his reply finally came through.
Taehyung [1:37] What time?
The next day, you focused on getting as much of your work done as you could before the hard stop of when you knew you had to start getting ready. You took a long shower, letting the hot water relax your stiff muscles before carefully maneuvering into the lingerie that was still prettily packaged in the bag from the boutique you got it from, untouched on the floor of your closet since you bought it.
You hadn’t seen him a while, so it only made sense to you to make things a little more exciting than usual. Spice it up. Honestly, sex with Taehyung was always anything with boring, but the thigh-highs you slipped into were just as much for you as him. You had been so focused on your studies that you couldn’t remember the last time you wore anything other than court-approved suits, sweatpants, or pajamas. It would be nice to feel something other than just tired again. To feel desired. Sexy.
And even you could admit the outfit you had chosen was sexy. A crimson, lacy bodysuit thing that did little to obscure the dusk of your nipples and disappeared between your asscheeks. The matching thigh-highs, joined with garters. You even had a pair of heels that you planned to wear—ones that made your legs look a mile long, but hurt like a bitch every time you attempted to wear them out. Despite their shortcomings, you were willing to slip on the deathtraps because luckily, for this particular occasion, you wouldn’t have to go anywhere in them, nor would they stay on you for very long.
You were even planning on putting on a little makeup, on properly doing your hair for the first time in weeks and giving the bun you had been sporting a rest. However, all it took was a knock on your door to put an end to all those extras.
You frowned at the sound and padded over to your front door, happy you had already thrown on one of your law school hoodies to keep yourself warm until the festivities properly started. The sight of a familiar man through the peephole, hands resting comfortably in his slacks, threw you off.
Automatically, your hands were disengaging all the locks, were swinging the door open. “You’re early—”
Whatever words you had next immediately dissipated on your tongue. Taehyung was there, but he apparently came with company. Your mind whirred, trying to come up with a perfectly logical reason for why all three Kim brothers were at your doorstep right now.
“Your hair,” you blurted, your scrambled brain latching onto the easiest subject first.
“Hmm?” Taehyung ruffled his newly dyed locks, the onyx hue a stark difference from the silver you were used to. “Oh yeah, I guess I haven’t seen you all week. My dad wanted me to dye it to a more ‘appropriate’ color before the conference. But whatever—it was time for a change, anyway. And this will be much easier to upkeep.”
You could only continue to stare at him as he spoke, your eyes naturally drifting over his shoulder at your additional visitors.
All three of them were dressed pretty casually, which was normal for Taehyung and Namjoon, but less so for Seokjin when not in the comfort of his own home. The soft pink of his sweatsuit was a stark contrast to the sharp intelligence of his eyes, and he met your gaze for only a few seconds before he was turning to meet Namjoon’s instead, a pinch in his brow.
Taehyung spoke again before either of them could say anything. “You gonna keep us out here?” he teased, casually leaning against the doorframe.
That finally jumpstarted you out of your haze, scrambling to move out of the way and gesture them inside. “Yes, of course. Come in!” Before your nosy neighbor caught them and assumed you were slutting it up.
(She would technically be right, but still. It was the principle. Your life was none of that judgy old shrew’s business.)
Tae strolled in like he always did—like he owned the place—but you noticed his brothers’ strides seemed a bit more hesitant than the confidence you were usually witness to. Namjoon’s mouth was slightly pursed in the way you’d long learned meant he was thinking. Why did they seem as confused as you did?
“Hi,” you hedged anyway, a small, puzzled smile on your lips. “It’s been a while. Sorry if I’m acting weird—I just wasn’t expecting you, so I’m a little thrown off.”
Understanding immediately crossed Seokjin’s features, but you only got a second to see it before he was whipping towards his youngest brother, appalled.
Namjoon was looking at him too, clearly irritated. “Are you serious, Taehyung?”
“What?” you asked, gaze flitting between the three of them in hope of finding some sort of clarity.
“You never asked her?” Seokjin snapped.
“You know that’s not cool, man,” Namjoon sighed, an agitated hand running though blond locks.
Why were they standing in your hallway and having whole conversations in front of you like you weren’t even there? “Never asked me what?” you cut in bemusedly, a little louder than you intended. It worked, at least, all three men immediately turning back to you.
Taehyung, for his part, looked properly contrite, cringing a little at the exasperation in your voice. “I’m sorry,” he told the room before placing his attention solidly back on you. His eyes were soft and sincere. “It truly slipped my mind, and I’m sorry, _____. I didn’t think.”
“When do you ever?” Seokjin snarked, but you ignored him, focused solely on Taehyung.
“What, Tae?” you encouraged gently. “What are you sorry for?”
It was clear from the hunch of his shoulders that he felt bad. “Um…”
“He invited us to come with him to meet you today,” Namjoon supplied. He gave his little brother a disappointed shake of his head. “But that’s not a decision for him to make. Is it, Tae.”
“I just knew that none of us have seen her in a while,” Tae whined. “And _____, when you reached out yesterday, I figured it would be the perfect opportunity since we’re about to leave the country for a few weeks.”
“I should have known better,” Seokjin muttered below his breath, looking heavenward in his annoyance. “I’m really sorry about this, _____. You never marked group activities as a no and I assumed Taehyung actually asked you like an adult, so I thought you were on board. I can leave.”
You blinked, still trying to grasp what was going on. “You were…trying to share your time?” you asked Taehyung slowly.
He nodded meekly. “I don’t mind sharing,” came his honest answer.
“But does she,” Seokjin scoffed, rubbing his temples in irritation. “That’s the only thing that matters. And to think otherwise is just selfish, Taehyung.”
“No, no, it’s okay.” The words left your lips before your brain could even register them, likely spurred on by how the increasingly chastened expression on Taehyung’s face. The three of them looked at you in surprise.
“It’s okay?” Namjoon parroted, an eyebrow raised in question.
You swallowed, mind racing to actually consider the consequences of what your mouth had just offered. But your nod of confirmation came almost immediately, because you knew Taehyung had never been trying to trap you. One of the qualities that simply made him him was his spontaneity, and while that made him fun and interesting to be around, it also was a double-edged sword that could easily make you end up in situations like this.
Tae knew none of them had seen you in a while, he knew they were soon going to jet out of the country, and had simply been trying to be nice in inviting his brothers along. He didn’t mean any harm.
“It’s okay,” you repeated, giving him a reassuring smile that visibly loosened some of the tension in his body. “You can all stay.”
The words settled between the four of you, heavy in the resulting quiet. Teeming with implication. You still weren’t completely sure what you were agreeing to, but what you did know was that you were going to need something to help stave off the nerves slowly bubbling beneath your skin. You cleared your throat, turning to make your way to the kitchen. “I think I need a drink.”
You didn’t glance back at them, but you could still feel them trailing you. Feel the heat of their gaze, and even the distinct heat of a body against your back, only a whisper away. Instead, you busied yourself with rooting around in your pantry and pulling out a handle of tequila.
“This for me?” hummed a familiar velvety voice, close enough for you to easily deduce who had invited himself into your space so intimately. Taehyung.
You looked over your shoulder at him, immediately frozen with what you saw. His eyes were blatantly trailing your figure, undeterred by the obstacle of your sweatshirt and easily roving your stockinged legs and feet. A dangerous smirk crawled across his face that had a delighted shiver racing down your spine in anticipation. “What?” came your stupefied reply.
“This.” His gaze lingered on your toes, but quickly rose so he could playfully flick the zipper of your sweatshirt. “Whatever you’ve got on under there. Is it for me?”
Heat licked between your thighs at his deceptively light tone. At the way he was looking at you. “No,” you sniffed. Not wanting to give in just yet. “Just something I wear around the house.”
“Well, it’s nice,” came another voice, and you were instantly reminded of your other guests. Namjoon was leaning against an adjacent counter, eyes dark. “You never wear stuff like this for me—Taehyung must be your favorite.”
Startled despite his teasing tone, your hands flew up in protest. “N-No, it’s not that—”
“Of course I’m the favorite,” Tae sassed, throwing you a wink. “It’s okay to admit it, _____. We all know!”
There was an almost immediate snort from behind you. Technically quiet enough to go unnoticed, but full of just enough derision that Taehyung’s proverbial hackles raised at the very sound of it. His head whipped to the source.
Jin looked deceptively bored, meeting his youngest brother’s glower with a flat stare. A single lifted eyebrow said everything his mouth deigned not worth the effort. What?
Tae scowled at his brother’s obvious disdain, but then, after a few moments, he simply shot an exhale from his nose and shook his head. “You’re clearly goading me,” he chuckled. “But you know what? It’s not gonna work this time. If you’re gonna be a jackass, you can just go.”
“I think you’re vastly overestimating your importance in this situation,” Seokjin scoffed, rolling his eyes. “But what else is new.”
“Guys,” Namjoon sighed, holding up pacifying hands in an attempt to ward off the rising tension.
You observed the whole exchange silently, still too off-kilter from the situation you’d suddenly found yourself in to do much more than look from brother to brother as if you were watching a tennis match.
This was only the second time the four of you had all been in the same room—with the first being your original meeting discussing the contract. Well, technically third, if you counted that party Taehyung took you to so many months ago—the one that rerouted your life onto this much more interesting path. But the three of them hadn’t really mingled then, so you had been left to speculate their group dynamic.
Now, though, you were starting to suspect your inklings were true.
Seokjin, the oldest, with lots of responsibility and expectations always set on him. Taehyung, the spoiled youngest who grew up without any of the same restraints, but also without any of the same parental attention. And Namjoon, the calm, stereotypical middle child, the glue who held it all together. The forced peacemaker who made sure that any of his brothers’ unspoken resentment for each other never got too far out of line.
“The only person who can tell me to leave is _____,” Seokjin continued, the sound of your name immediately throwing you out of your thoughts. You straightened, unprepared to suddenly find yourself locking eyes with him and surprised at the intensity you found there. “And is that what you want, _____? Do you want me to leave?”
“No, of course not,” you blurted. You didn’t miss the smug look Jin threw his brother, nor the way Tae’s lips pursed in irritation, but you couldn’t really find it in you to care about any of that right now. With a steadying breath, you focused instead on shuffling over to another cabinet and pulling out a glass.
It was starting to hit you. You weren’t sure what in the hell was going on, what exactly it was you agreed to, but whatever it was, you now had all three of your lovers in your apartment at the same time. Respectful of you and your space, but still obviously ogling you—ravenous predators slowly and eagerly circling their next meal.
It all made your skin prickle in anticipation, the thrill of the unknown buzzing in your veins.
“Choo choo,” you muttered to yourself sarcastically, pouring a healthy amount of tequila into your cup.
Namjoon raised a brow. “What?”
“What?” you parroted immediately, startled that he had heard you.
“I just…nevermind, I thought you said something.”
“Oh. Uh, I was just wondering if any of you wanted any.”
“No, I’m okay. Thank you.”
“I’ll take some,” Tae piped up brightly, moving into your space before you could blink. Body a breath away as he reached over to you to pull his own cup from the cabinet. You froze at his proximity, unable to look away as he smirked down at you. “Choo choo,” he murmured with a wink.
Before you could react with anything more than a sharp gasp, he was pulling away again, reaching for the tequila bottle.
Jesus.
With a slightly unsteady hand, heart pumping furiously in your chest, you welcomed the burning liquid down your throat, sticking your cup out for Tae to pour you more once it was empty.
“So how have you all been?” you babbled, tone a little too high and strained to be casual. “It’s been so long, I was beginning to think you’d forgotten about me. Or that you’d made other arrangements or something. I don’t think I’ve ever been paid to be stood up before, that’s kind of embarrassing—” A hand, warm and gentle, rested on your arm, and immediately, all coherent thought escaped your electrified body.
It was Seokjin, slowly rubbing what he likely thought were calming assurances, but only amping you up more. “She rambles when she’s nervous,” he informed his brothers, the small smile on his lips betraying his endearment.
“Aw, don’t be nervous, babe. I’ll take good care of you,” Taehyung cooed, effortlessly draining his glass and motioning towards yours. “Want another one?”
No, that probably wouldn’t be a good idea. The last thing you needed was something that could lower your gag reflex even more. Vomming all over them would certainly make for an interesting going away gift, but then they would most certainly ghost you for real.
You shook your head of the negative thoughts, timidly swiping a tongue over your suddenly very dry lips. “So how exactly is this going to work?”
“The way it’s always worked,” Tae reassured you with a nonchalant shrug. “It’s just you and me. The only difference is that they’re here too—but you don’t have to worry about that. I told them they could only watch.”
It took you a few moments to process that, your eyes silently roving over each of them and finding them all watching you right back. Ready, but waiting.
Look, don’t touch. Another interesting twist to a night that was already looking to be interesting.
“Is that okay?” Seokjin asked, clearly intending to follow your lead. Leaving the ball in your court. And another glance at the other two showed they obviously shared their older brother’s sentiments.
A memory flickered teasingly in the corner of your mind—the trepidation of being fucked in front of a window where anyone could see. The undeniable thrill that followed the thought of being watched.
You swallowed. “Yeah,” you finally replied. “If…you want to.”
“Do you want us to?” Namjoon pressed sternly, refusing to let go of your gaze. Communication, he always insisted. Solid consent, or no consent at all. Yes or no.
All three stared at you. You shifted under their attention, a bit out of your element, but ultimately sure. “Yes,” you breathed.
“Okay,” Namjoon simply replied with an approving nod. With a pleased smile that brought forth dimpled cheeks. But then he shifted towards you more, and the slight change in his stance seemed to completely change his demeanor. His intention. “What’s your safeword?”
You knew he knew it; knew he knew you did as well. The two of you had been together enough times for a rhythm to between you to form, so this repeating of superfluous information was likely solely for his brothers’ benefits.
“Cinnamon.”
“And if you can’t say it?”
“Tap you 3 times.”
“Good.”
“Safeword?” Taehyung chuckled incredulously, eyes a little wide in surprise. “Well shit.”
“Yeah, and I know how to use it too, if you get out of line,” you teased, but your mind was already elsewhere. It didn’t matter that Tae was the one who would be actively playing with you today—you had spent enough time with Namjoon that you had apparently been conditioned. The blond had asked you your safeword, you repeated it to him, and so the scene had officially started. All of your previous unease ebbed away as you couldn’t help but focus instead on what you were all here for.
Carefully, you set your glass down on the counter and moved to exit the kitchen, brushing against Taehyung on your way out and shooting a pointed look at him over your shoulder. “You ready?”
“Baby, you know I’m always ready,” he purred, jolted into action and eagerly trailing down the hallway after you. “I’ve just been waiting on you.”
You didn’t bother to turn to see if the others were following you. You knew they were, their very presence somehow making the hallway feel like it was shrinking, overstuffed. Still, you tried not to let that unnerve you, continuing on with purpose until you made it to your destination and were hovering awkwardly next to your bed.
They all filed into the room, one by one, and you bit your lip, fully out of your element. Three handsome men had allowed you to lure them here, but now that they were? You had no idea what your next move was supposed to be.
Luckily for you, Tae was more than happy to take initiative, immediately slinking up to your side and waggling his eyebrows suggestively. The gesture was so ridiculous that you couldn’t help but snort, and he simply grinned, pleased with himself for lessening your nerves, even if only a little. He reached for you without a second thought and you let him, eager to fall into more familiar territory.
Taehyung’s large hands smoothed over your hips, your ass with clear familiarity. A finger curled under the top of your thigh highs, lightly snapping the elastic against your skin. “You really did this is for me, huh?”
The dark look in his eye had the breath catching in your throat. “Shut up,” you scoffed unconvincingly.
He tsked, the wicked curl of his lips ruining any illusion of disappointment. “You know I like it when you’re mean to me.”
You could only blink in response. You hadn’t known that. Was he serious? Was this another level to his subjugation, or was he just pulling your leg?
Before your brain had the opportunity to come up with a proper retort, Tae was reaching out a finger to tap the zipper of your sweatshirt, gaze focused on its slow, teasing sway. “So.”
Your brow lifted, an unspoken prompting.
The swinging zipper almost slowed to a stop, and when he reached out this time, it was to lightly run his thumb over the metal, to slowly roll it between his fingers. You swallowed, the anticipation of what you knew to be coming only adding to the charged silence between you. Distractedly, the tip of his tongue swiped across his lips, drawing your gaze. “You invited me to play,” he finally continued, voice honeyed amber. Crushed velvet.
As if he hadn’t been playing with you from the moment he entered your apartment. You tilted your head anyway—an invitation and a challenge. “Then let’s play.”
A small smile touched his lips, clearly pleased that his teasing invoked yours. But he didn’t say anything else, his response simply to finally guide the zipper down its track. Leisurely, unwrapping you like a present and delighting in the underneath.
And you had technically dressed yourself to be one, so you let him. Let him take his time so he could fully appreciate the swell of your breasts, the purposeful, flirty peek of your nipples through the scarlet lace. You wished you had had the time to properly do your hair and makeup and slip on the heels you had set aside just for the occasion so he could get your full intended effect, but your less than perfect appearance didn’t seem to dissuade Taehyung at all. No, he simply slid his hands under the fabric when he finally got impatient enough—fingers light and palms warm—and pushed the sweatshirt off your shoulders with eyes that were all pupil. His hungry gaze carefully roved your form, a lingering path from head to toe that made your skin tingle in its wake.
His lips parted, tongue giving them another distracted swipe, and then he finally moved again, making his way to your dresser. Now that his broad form wasn’t blocking your view of the rest of the room, you were quickly reminded of the room’s other occupants. Seokjin and Namjoon still hovered near the doorway, quiet, but obviously also drinking in the sight of you now that they could see you properly. Your breath caught, not used to having so much obvious desire directed at you, the air so thick with it you could practically taste it, heady and syrupy.
A light scraping sound regained your attention, and when you turned your head, you realized Taehyung had pulled open a particular drawer—one that he had quickly became familiar with since the start of your arrangement. He pulled out the lube he was looking for, but was much more interested in something else in there, if the mischievous look on his face was any indicator. “What’s this?” he asked, mouth a delighted box, and before you could chastise him about going through your things without permission, he was already pulling out your wand vibrator. “You got a new toy?”
“It’s not new,” you huffed, slightly embarrassed despite everything. “I just usually keep it in the shower.”
You saw his Adam’s apple dip at that information. Saw the wheels turning behind his eyes before he was quickly shutting the drawer and headed towards the bed with his loot in hand. He sat on the edge and eagerly motioned for you to follow.
Your eyes narrowed suspiciously at the vibrator he had neglected to put away, but Taehyung just reached for your hand and gently pulled you towards him until you were close enough for him to properly guide onto his lap. “Don’t be like that,” he murmured against your neck, his hot breath against the skin inciting a shiver to run through you. “Gotta prep you for the show.”
Ah yes, the show. He had faced you away from him, so now it was impossible for you to forget your captive audience. At some point, Seokjin had pulled your office chair away from your desk, and now he was lounging across the room, in direct view of the bed. His legs were comfortably spread, almost as if it was an open invitation for you to crawl onto his lap instead. Namjoon, on the other hand, was casually leaning against the desk, arms crossed. Eyes dark.
Lips trailed up your neck, quickly regaining your attention. Taehyung pressed slow kisses into the sensitive skin, humming contentedly when you tilted your head to give him better access. His hands dragged up and down your stockinged legs, his exploration only pausing to playfully snap the garter at your thigh. Your breath caught in your throat, heat thrumming through your veins at the action. You felt him smirk, and then he was tactfully lifting your legs by the knees and hooking them around his own one by one. Easily spreading your thighs by widening his own.
Easily revealing to your unsuspecting employers that your lingerie was crotchless.
The sudden display of your pussy had an immediate effect on the room, though no one said a word. The air was so charged with crackling energy that you shivered, almost breaking out in goosebumps at the onslaught of blatant desire. This close, it was quite easy for you to hear how Tae’s breath hitched, quite easy to interpret the excitement of his fingers, still compulsively tracing over the pattern of your stockings like he wasn’t even aware he was doing it. Inexplicably, you still found yourself feeling a bit shy at the salacious attention you intentionally brought upon yourself, gaze darting to the floor for a few seconds before you finally chanced a look at the other two from beneath your lashes. Seokjin was busy unabashedly staring at your spread pussy, Adam’s apple bobbing, but Namjoon was unabashedly staring at you, your heart pounding when you locked eyes.
The spell was only broken when an impatient hand guided your head to the side, Taehyung demanding your full attention. After lapping against your pulse one last time, his mouth promptly switched course to your own, the kiss sweet, but decidedly sloppy due to the angle. In any case, it was easy to quickly lose yourself in the warmth of his lips—at this point, it was all practically reflex—and you were so engrossed in the ebb of his tongue that you completely missed the rather foreboding buzzing in the room until something was being purposefully pressed against the most sensitive part of you.
“Shit,” you gasped, jerking in his hold. But it didn’t matter, because Tae’s other hand was gripping tight at your thigh, ensuring you could do nothing but squirm in his lap, breath quickening in anticipation.
“Hm?” came his casual response. You knew from experience that he only had your vibrator on the first or second level, but the way his restless fingers still plucked at your stockings told you he was nowhere near done with you. Let’s play you had teased, and he clearly intended to do just that.
Before your thoughts could linger too long on how intense this night was likely going to be, the vibrator was shifted slightly to the side, resting momentarily on your thigh so Taehyung could reach for the bottle of lube and give it a generous squeeze.
“What’s your plan?” you breathed, the question inane even to your own ears. But the words escaped you before you could even properly process them, needing to say something in an effort to distract yourself from the muted vibrations that were still trickling up your leg to your core.
Tae let out an amused exhale, clearly not fooled by your feigned nonchalance. He humored you anyway, despite your very obvious failings to suppress a shiver. “Gotta prep you,” he answered huskily, busy warming the lube with his fingers and making them visibly slick in the process.
You only had one moment—two—before you felt him sliding a finger across the seam of you. Slowly dragging the digit up from your entrance to your clit, ghosting over the bundle of nerves just enough to make your breath catch, then drifting his way back down again.
“Don’t tease,” you murmured.
That earned you a chuckle in response. “Don’t you think you’re the one being the tease here? Texting out of the blue and wearing this—”another snap of your garter against your thigh, to punctuate his point—“when you knew damn well it would drive me crazy?”
“I don’t know. Sounds like I was being pretty direct to me.”
Another chuckle. “Fair.” And without further preamble, he slipped a finger in you, your relief leaving you in a shuddery exhale. “That better?”
“M-Much.”
“How about this?”
Another finger, plunging into your willing heat and making another relieved sigh escape you at the stretch. “We’re getting there.”
You didn’t have to be able to see him to know he was grinning, always one to be entertained by the easy banter between you. Tae didn't say anything, his response better communicated by a scrape of his teeth across the sensitive skin of your neck, settling to suck on your pulse point.
You didn’t bother hiding your shiver this time, unconsciously slumping further against him, hips reflexively jerking forward to pull him in deeper.
Taehyung added a third finger, snapping and scissoring and pressing and curling. Seducing your body’s natural resistance until you really started to betray your need, hips canting greedily towards his thrusts, whines erupting from your throat.
“You’re enjoying this already, baby?” Tae cooed, delighted by how responsive you were being. “I’ve barely done anything.”
You just nodded distractedly, the familiar warmth that was building in your core and creeping down your legs making it hard to think about anything else. Still, you couldn’t help your gaze being drawn to the other occupants of the room, who seemed to be frozen in time, dutifully having not moved from their posts. Completely enraptured by the way their brother meticulously worked you open.
Tae breathed hot into the shell of your ear. “You like it when they watch you?” came his knowing whisper, a nip against the cartilage punctuating his point. “Like for them to see how good I make you feel? Hmmm? What if we show them how good you take this dick?”
Your pussy fluttered. Tae cussed under his breath, teased with the wet, pulsing grip of you and falling deeper into his own fantasy. “Fuckkk, you’re dripping all over my hand, baby. I would probably just slide right in, wouldn’t I?”
“Yesss,” you moaned. “I can take it, baby.”
“I know you can. With this perfect fucking pussy. But what if we played some more? Got you nice and juicy for me?”
“I’m always juicy,” you sassed back, but any more retorts died on your tongue when you saw him reach again for the momentarily forgotten vibrator.
Tae’s arms circled around you, his chin slotting into the crook of your neck so he could get a better look of what he intended to do. The vibrator was turned up from its low rumble and pressed unceremoniously against you, and you yelped, jolting in his hold. It was too much, and you couldn’t help but writhe against him. Still, you welcomed the sudden intensity, desperate whines freely escaping you as you hurtled toward your peak. Tae only fingered you faster in response, the undoubtedly sloppy sounds drowned out by the vibrator. “I could slide right in, but I won’t cause it’s much more fun this way. Especially since we haven’t seen each other in a while. More fun for everybody if take our time, right, baby? So how about you cum on my fingers first, and then you can pick everywhere else on me you’d like to cum?”
You could only moan freely, just like how Tae liked. If you weren’t so distracted by the way he was fucking stars behind your eyelids, you would have noticed just how affected your spectators were becoming at your display. The shifting, the subtle rubbing over pants.
But as it were, you were completely preoccupied by your swift descent into madness, your hand desperately scrabbling for purchase before ultimately rooting itself in the hair at Taehyung’s nape to await your rapidly approaching release. Because at this point, your orgasm was inevitable, your thighs quivering with the sheer force of it, every atom of you hyper-focused on achieving that satisfying end goal.
Until the sudden sound of a certain voice knocked you out of your trance.
“Stop.”
You jolted as if touching a live wire, hand immediately wrapping around Taehyung’s wrist like a vice and yanking the vibrator away from you.
For a few moments, the room was silent, save the rumble of the toy and your heavy breathing. But Taehyung was too baffled to let what just happened slide. “What’s the matter?”
You nervously licked your lips, too frozen in Namjoon’s dark stare to answer his younger brother.
“You know better,” came the blond’s low admonishment, Seokjin turning to look at him in bewilderment.
And you did know better—when you were with Namjoon, you were not allowed to cum without his express permission. It was a game the two of you played that you often lost, despite your valiant efforts. It just never occurred to you that you would still be expected to play in Namjoon’s general presence, whether he was the one touching you or not.
Jittery with your aborted orgasm and nervous excitement, you looked away, your eyes automatically averted submissively to the floor in a last effort to assuage him. “I’m sorry, Daddy,” you replied softly.
“Daddy?” Taehyung repeated incredulously. “What the fuck?” In his confusion, his hold on you slackened, and, nervous he wouldn’t take the hint otherwise, you used the opportunity to shift his fingers out of you and stumble forward on wobbly legs.
“Take your clothes off,” was your reply, breath labored and skin already veiled in a light sheen of sweat. You needed to distract him from asking too many questions right now. Needed to distract yourself from just how strongly your body was begging to fall apart.
Tae was still confused, but he didn’t need to be told twice. Off came his button-down shirt, each button popped open just roughly enough that you were surprised none of them ended up scattered across the floor in his haste. Off came his slacks, unzipped and then easily slipped down his slim hips. He paused when reaching for his underwear though, eyes narrowing at something behind you.
You didn’t even get the chance to turn around to investigate what had caught his attention before you felt it—the distinct feeling of someone hovering in your space, close enough you could feel his body heat radiating against you.
“Hey sweetheart,” came a familiar husky voice, goosebumps rippling across your body at the feel of Seokjin’s hot breath ghosting up your neck. “Can I touch you?”
“Hey,” Tae scowled.
“_____?” Jin interrupted, still only millimeters away. A whisper away, but never touching, waiting for the only permission he truly needed—yours. Not Taehyung’s.
Without a second thought, you leaned back against him, delighting in the feel of his body slotting so naturally into yours. “Yes,” you breathed, pressing your ass further into what could only be the hard jut of his cock.
Soft, plush lips trailed up your neck instantly, large hands sliding over your hips and around your waist. You immediately melted into him, your body well-trained and eager for the pleasure it knew those lips and hands would deliver.
“This wasn’t the deal,” Tae huffed, eyebrows scrunched in irritation as he finally slid off his boxer briefs. Drawn like a magnet, your eyes fell to the bounce of his freed cock, tip already shiny with precum.
Seokjin tutted distractedly, too busy nibbling along your jaw to give his youngest brother much attention. “You need to learn to share, Taehyung. The rest of society learned that concept when we were toddlers.”
“Whatever,” Tae grumbled, clearly not happy with the way the night was turning out. He only allowed his brother a few more seconds to have his way with you before he was reaching for your hands and walking you back towards the bed.
You gasped in surprise when the world was suddenly off-kilter, your hands reflexively scrambling to hold onto Tae for balance, but it was only when the two of you landed on the mattress that you realized he had purposely tipped you into him, your chests flush.
“Really, Taehyung?” you laughed, now conveniently in his embrace instead of Seokjin’s.
Tae just grinned in response, so close that his nose brushed yours. Cheekily, his hands worked the flesh of your behind.
“I’ve been wondering where those have been coming from,” you heard Seokjin say behind you, and your face heated up in realization of what he was talking about, once again shy to be so on display and open for scrutiny. You had forgotten how mottled the skin of your ass still looked, and it was a little embarrassing to be called out on it. Time apart meant the bruises were near the end of their healing stage, but though you no longer sported marks of potentially alarming colors, their faded remnants still branded you in the distinct shape of a hand.
“If you were wondering, why didn’t you ask,” you countered, tucking your face in Tae’s neck to help hide your flustered state.
“Because that’s rude,” Jin answered easily, his own hand reaching over to gently smooth over the discolored skin. “And it’s really none of my business.”
“I think they’re pretty,” Taehyung cut in from below you. This close, you could feel the rumble of his declaration, could feel the heat of his stare. Of his want.
“So do I.”
A different voice, one that made an undeniably eager shiver run through you. Slowly, you lifted your head and turned, and there was Namjoon, still standing across from the bed, eyes all pupil.
The way he was looking at you…desire rippled through your whole body in response, your next words leaving your lips before you could even process them.
“Are you going to touch me too, Daddy?”
The room was quiet, the question marinating long enough that the air became thick and heavy with the resulting tension. Just when you thought you might suffocate, Namjoon finally tilted his head. Slowly—a predator locked in on prey, playing with his meal simply for his own amusement—he stalked closer to the bed. He walked past Seokjin and made it all the way to the foot of the mattress, close enough to touch you if he so pleased.
The burn of his gaze was somehow stronger now that he was closer, a palpable energy that drew you like a moth to a flame. You couldn’t help but scramble upright when he was finally right in front of you, clambering to your knees despite Tae’s clear reluctance to let you go.
“Do you want me to?” Namjoon asked passively. He looked down at you, seemingly unimpressed by how eagerly you knelt on the mattress, just waiting for him to join you on it. “You already have enough people taking care of you. Are you really that greedy?”
“Yes,” you shivered, the action involuntary but wanting. “Want you too, Daddy.”
“Hm.” The single syllable was dismissive, but your previous time spent with Namjoon had taught you not to take that at face value. That you had to have patience, that if you simply waited him out, you would always eventually get what you wanted.
As if proving your point, Namjoon silently considered you for a few more seconds before his eyebrow finally raised in challenge. “Open,” he demanded.
Your jaw dropped instantly, tongue out, and he smiled, pleased at your obedient response.
You weren’t sure you had the energy to be bratty to him today when his brothers were still in the mix too.
“Good,” Namjoon cooed, all dimples and boy next door. The boy next door who firmly grasped your chin, lifting your head a little and leaning down. But though your eyelashes fluttered in preparation for the slot of his mouth against yours, it never came. Namjoon paused, slanted eyes quietly observing you, then spit in your open mouth instead.
“Jesus,” came Taehyung’s awed reply from behind you, but you were too busy trying not to whimper, thighs squeezing together with sudden want. Namjoon hadn’t told you you could swallow, so you didn’t, drool starting to collect until it overflowed and dribbled down your jaw.
“Very good,” Namjoon murmured, and this time, he did lean down to kiss you, all wet and sloppy. You eagerly pushed further into his space, blood thrumming with your need for more, but he pulled away before you could get too carried away. He cleared his throat, lips pink and spit-slicked. “Gonna keep being a good girl for us today?”
You immediately nodded, a thrill going through you at the way the action rapidly made his expression steel over. He tsked condescendingly. “Now, now, you know better than to not speak when spoken to.”
“I’m sorry Daddy. I promise I’ll be good.”
“Well, that definitely answers the mystery bruises.” It was Seokjin, now behind you. Somehow you hadn’t noticed him discard his shirt and climb onto the bed, too caught in Namjoon’s spell. You felt his hands drifting across your waist again, roaming up to cup your breasts and lightly pinch at your nipples through the lace. You whimpered, arching eagerly into his touch.
“Oh come on,” Taehyung whined. A turn of your head produced him, naked and sulking in the middle of the bed. “It was supposed to be my turn.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at his cute pout, dutifully extracting yourself from Jin’s hold to crawl your way towards the youngest brother. “Don’t worry, baby. I know how to multitask.”
He greedily grabbed you as soon as you were in reach, holding you tight to his chest and plopping back onto the bed so you were once again on top of him, knees straddling his hips. You giggled again at his antics, flattered by his sudden possessiveness, and Tae playfully nipped at your collarbone in retaliation.
The bed dipped behind you, and then there was Seokjin again, undeterred by Tae’s petulant behavior. “Not only are you bad at sharing, but you’re only thinking about yourself,” he scoffed, grabbing your hips without preamble. “What about _____?”
Taehyung immediately bristled beneath you.
“It’s okay,” you tried to reassure, but before you could properly defend him, you suddenly found yourself face down and ass up, the sudden appearance of a tongue swiping through your slit rendering you shuddery and brain dead. “Fuck. Jin—”
You felt Seokjin’s smirk against you. “Sorry, sweetheart,” he said huskily, hot breath ghosting over your most private of parts. “Couldn’t help myself. You dressed my meal up so pretty.”
That was fair, you supposed. That he made proper use of the easy access your lingerie provided, that he gave himself the opportunity to admire the tiny lacy hearts on your garter belt up close. But Seokjin didn’t allow himself to preen for very long, his focus immediately turning back to the task at hand. Laving hot and slow, your whole body tingling down to your toes.
Unconsciously, you pushed back further into his face, and Jin hummed approvingly, massaging your asscheeks, large hands spreading them apart so he could get as close to you as humanly possible. His enthusiasm has always been so fucking sexy, and you knew he wasn’t playing it up for theatrics when the slurping sounds started. You were that turned on, still frustrated from being led to the edge of the proverbial cliff and not allowed to jump, and Seokjin was more than happy to help himself to the honey he was coaxing from between your thighs.
A haze was starting to take over you, completely focused on how good he was eating you out, on how hot you were, sweat and desire prickling your skin. Your hips mindlessly circling while you vaguely tried not to drool on Taehyung’s chest.
Not that Tae seemed to mind much, hands idly roaming whatever stretch of skin he could touch, content to watch how your expression twisted and eyes glazed over as lust easily towed you under.
Seokjin pulled back a bit, chuckling at your whines of protest when he did so. But the familiar click of a top being popped open shut you up, lifting your head and looking over your shoulder to confirm your suspicions. The lube was a bit cold when it hit your asshole, and Jin wasn’t shy with the amount he squeezed out. His eyes were completely blown, enraptured by its slow decent, watching the lube trail through your pubic hair and down your slit. A distracted tongue swept across his lips, completely focused on sliding his fingers through the slick and making everything somehow even more wet.
You shivered at his touch, thighs twitching as his long fingers smoothed the lube over your bundle of nerves in sure, purposeful circles. He leaned in again, tongue blazing a hot, meandering trail up the inside of your thigh and giving the sensitive skin there a playful nip before his fervent licks returned. Tongue slipping down to caress your clit, wandering back up to dip into your throbbing cunt, and dragging back down again.
It was on one of these passes that Seokjin accidentally drifted a bit too high, your undulating hips causing him to lap over your asshole instead. You moaned, loud, and he immediately froze.
It was clear neither of you had been expecting that reaction. But while you could only describe the look on his face as light surprise, you couldn’t help but duck your head in embarrassment.
“What’s the matter?” Taehyung breathed into your hair, wondering what halted the activities.
You weren’t really sure what to say, now embarrassed by your embarrassment. But it turned out you didn’t have to say anything, Seokjin curiously testing the waters by leaning in and placing a chaste kiss against your rim. When you didn’t do anything but suck in a breath, his tongue dipped out again for a tentative lick. You shuddered, ass reflexively bucking towards him instead of pulling away, and that was all the confirmation he needed. His hands palmed your asscheeks again, spreading them open to give himself more room to press his tongue against you more confidently, and you trembled in response.
It was a foreign sensation, but not bad. You technically hadn’t marked this as a no when signing your contract, but it never even crossed your mind that getting your booty ate would be a very real possibility. You weren’t against assplay per se—you simply had never experienced it before. And never in a million years would you have expected it to feel like this.
“Mmmm, that’s good,” you couldn’t help but whimper. Electricity licked up your spine when his sloppy tongue slowly circled around the tight ring of muscle. Unbidden, your hand reached back, gliding through his hair before rooting itself and pulling in an attempt to get him impossibly closer to you.
Seokjin hummed approvingly at the your enthusiasm, the sound almost sounding like he was blowing bubbles with the way you were now shoving his face between your asscheeks. Leaning somehow further into it, he ate you out with a vigor that told you he was clearly pleased you were using him to get yourself off. You melted into his ministrations, a whine falling from your lips when he gently slipped his sinful tongue inside you, the foreign feeling making your toes curl in unexpected pleasure.
You were getting worked up. With nothing more than his mouth, Seokjin was easily restoking the blazing fire within you that only minutes before had been forced to embers. You were getting worked up, and the more you moaned and gyrated against him, the more Taehyung’s fingers twitched restlessly against your skin. If you had been in your right mind, you would have noticed his rising agitation and wouldn’t have been surprised when he suddenly grabbed you by the backs of your thighs and pulled you away from his brother. Instead, you blinked at him dazedly, pelvises flush after momentum had you inadvertently scooting further up his body.
“I’ve shared enough,” he growled, irritated. “It’s my turn now.” Another pull, and you were back on his lap, his leaking erection grinding pointedly against your slick folds. “C’mere, baby—fucking sit it on it.”
You were dazed, already pretty fucked out even though things were just getting started. The constant influx of pleasure was striking all your coherent thought, unable to understand anything other than finally being able to cross the finish line. And you knew from experience that Taehyung’s massive dick was a great way to get there, so you didn’t mind at all when he continued to maneuver you as he pleased, large hands canting your hips at a proper angle to receive him.
Your breath hitched when he finally sunk into your fervid body. You were so turned on and wet at that point that it didn’t hurt the slightest, but he was so big that the very pressure of him forcing your walls apart caused your eyes to roll back in your head, your nails pressing crescent moons into the caramel of his skin. “Ungh—”
“Shit,” Tae groaned, fingers tightening on your thighs at the wet grip of you. “Feel so fucking good, baby. Always so fucking good.”
He was buried balls deep, too on edge to give you any more than a few seconds to adjust before he was bucking wildly into you, easily scraping against your spongy nerves with every unforgiving stroke. You couldn’t do much more than take it, unfiltered moans readily escaping you. Hot and low, like they were generated deep in your pussy and Taehyung was hard at work fucking them up and out of your mouth.
You were so worked up at this point that you knew you weren’t going to last much longer, your walls tightening more and more by the second, your whole body trembling in preparation of the inevitable.
“_____,” Namjoon snapped.
It took some effort to lift your head from where you had buried it in Tae’s neck, startled into blearily looking up to meet the middle brother’s steely gaze. Your mind raced, flustered and trying to understand how you had somehow forgotten about him. When his lips curled with a whisper of a smirk, it instantly dawned on you that him fading into the background had been entirely by design.
Namjoon had allowed you to be distracted by his brothers. Had allowed them to have all the fun while he quietly watched your slow, uncontrollable descent into carnality. Because he knew that all he had to do was wait, and you would inevitably disobey him.
And then his fun would start.
You had played your part in his little game, cockily swaggered your way right into his trap with thigh highs and a smile. Too naive to notice that the situation had been rigged from the start, and now that everything was in motion, it was far too late to save yourself from your oncoming reckoning.
You were gasping, the pistoning of Taehyung’s cock setting all of your nerves alight and making it hard not to meet him thrust for thrust, trapped in meeting Namjoon’s stare through your wet lashes. He had moved to stand at the foot of the bed, close enough to touch, and he was the only person in the room who was still, bafflingly, fully-dressed.
“Please,” you babbled, too far gone to even know who your begging was directed towards. “Please, I—” Your body spazzed violently, only contained by Tae’s bruising grip as he relentlessly continued to plow into you. “Ohhh godddd! Fuckkk—ah, ahhhh—”
Against your best efforts, your cunt locked down, hard. So hard you forgot to breathe, pleasure and relief finally flooding your veins as you stuffed your face into Tae’s neck to ride it out, bucking and whining and incoherent.
Taehyung made a loud, choked noise, the feeling of you pulsing around him throwing him further into his trance. “Fuck yeah,” he growled, fingers digging into your thighs punishingly. Drilling into you harder, your release heightening his desperation for his own. Biology making him single-minded, manic, even when you started to mewl in oversensitivity. “Squeezing me so tight. Cream me good, baby. Fuck.”
You continued to tremble, nothing more at this point than sparking nerve endings. Tae lifted his head a little to lick into your awaiting mouth, kissing you wet and wild and desperate while still plunging deep inside you.
But even though you did nothing to attempt to control the torrent of whines freely spilling from your tongue, in the back of your mind, you still had the good sense to be nervous. Because even without seeing his face, you already knew Namjoon was pissed.
You had failed.
As if confirming your thoughts, fingers wrapped around your hair and pulled, naturally ripping your lips from Taehyung’s and forcing your head to lift. With nowhere to hide, you were forced to meet the full intensity of Namjoon’s glare.
“What did I say,” he demanded darkly, a muscle jumping in his jaw. Your blood pounded excitedly.
“Cut her some slack, Namjoon,” came Jin’s mild reply from behind you. Your eyes widened, not expecting his dismissive tone to go over very well.
Namjoon didn’t acknowledge his older brother, instead focusing his attention on his younger. A carefully controlled tempest that was moments away from unleashing its wrath. “Taehyung. Move.”
The swivel of Tae’s hips slowed, but didn’t stop. He was too on edge, too close to joining you in bliss. “I—g-give me a minute, hyung—”
���Move.”
You could feel just how reluctant Tae was to comply—his rutting finally stopped, but his hips still instinctually twitching in a primal need to keep fucking you. Still, something in his brother’s tone made his protest cut off in his throat, and after a few labored, frustrated breaths, he obediently slipped out of you.
You whimpered at the loss, your toes curling at the resulting friction. Between the cum that had long been leaking from you and dribbling down your thighs and the mess Tae’s cock was making in his excitement, it was hot and sticky where your bodies slotted together, and you couldn’t help the way you senselessly started to grind against him, lashes fluttering at the feeling.
Namjoon scoffed at your clear desperation. “You would have liked that, wouldn’t you?” he snapped, grip still firm in your hair. “For him to cum inside you.”
You shivered at the thought, a little embarrassed that you were so obvious. “Yes, Daddy,” you murmured, releasing a shuttering breath when you felt Tae’s slick cock jump against your stomach at your admission.
“Well you’ve been bad,” Namjoon replied slowly, as you weren’t very bright, “so you don’t get to have what you want.” He took a step forward, legs knocking into the edge of the bed, now only a breath away, and you licked your lips, mentally preparing for what you knew would come.
But before he could get any closer to you—before Taehyung could even slide from beneath you—there were once again hands on your hips.
“Hey!” Tae snapped irritably, but whatever he had to say was drowned out by your surprised, rather pathetic choking when, with a delicious roll of his hips, Seokjin unexpectedly sank inside your pliant body, thoroughly making himself at home exactly where Tae had been forced to vacate. You had been so focused on Namjoon that you somehow missed the weight shifting behind you, the telltale rustling of clothing as he pushed is sweatpants down his hips enough to free his cock so he could stuff you the hilt.
You had been saved by the eldest Kim, at least for now. But for how long would he really be able to delay your punishment?
Since he was still holding you by the hair, you could easily see the emotions flicker across Namjoon’s face at his older brother butting in, but his expression quickly settled into something mirroring cool indifference.
You knew better. Namjoon was a patient man, but you doubted he would let your disobedience slide so easily.
Seemingly uncaring of either of his brothers’ vexation, Seokjin rode your ass, hips rolling forward in constant waves, strokes long and deep and pointed. Clearly wanting to keep you mewling for him.
And as you did just that, you rapidly realized that saving you from Namjoon’s wrath had never been his intention. No, he simply liked you just like this, whiny and shivery and too fucked out to care that you were drooling and desperate.
“You feel it, sweetheart?” he asked, voice melodic and sweet. Leaning over to press plump lips up your spine and sucking on a rather sensitive spot at the back of your neck.
“Yesss,” you whined. You could feel everything, could feel the ripple of your ass every time his hips slammed against it, could feel every ridge of his cock that scraped against your insides. Sparks shot through you after every stroke, your clit forced to drag across Tae’s stomach with the force. “Fuck, you’re so big and deep, fuck, fuck.”
Seokjin just hummed, playing your body like a fiddle and pleased by how it was responding to him. Breath stuttering, toes curling, fingers gripping the sheets.
But despite how good he was making you feel, you weren’t too fucked out to overlook Namjoon this time. No, this time forgetting him was impossible, the middle brother doing nothing to hide his massive presence. He towered over you, intently watching you get railed by his older brother, and the barely suppressed fury you could sense radiating off him was making your cunt throb and head spin.
“I’m sorry, D-Daddy,” you stuttered, everything tingling at the look he fixed you with in response. “I couldn’t help it.”
“Are you?” he asked lowly, a tic in his jaw. He let the question marinate for a few moments, let you simmer beneath his intense stare. Just when you felt the overwhelming compulsion to apologize again, he finally reached for you, a single finger lifting your chin and forcing you to meet his gaze directly. With a patronizing tilt of his head, he popped open the button on his pants. “Then make it up to me.”
You were already pushing yourself to your hands and knees, desperate to please. Taehyung’s hands drifted up your sides to steady you, your body trembling from the way Seokjin still reamed into you, undeterred. You reached out for the band of Namjoon’s pants, trying to get to the important bits, but he simply tutted and smacked your hand away.
“Mouth,” he said simply, the single word full of derision.
So you leaned forward again, this time using the tip of your nose to part his fly and give you proper access to his clothed cock. He was thick and swollen already, straining against the material, and you felt him stir with interest when you mouthed at him through the fabric. Coquettish licks lapping hot against the length of him and making his hips reflexively shift forward, unconsciously chasing the stimulation. You licked and sucked until there was a noticeable wet patch, doing your best to show that your apology was sincere and give him your full attention.
But that was hard to do when his brothers were busy giving you their full attention.
Seokjin was in a trance, fingers sinking into your thighs so he could properly hammer into you. Thrusts steady and coaxing your pussy to leak its praises, your thighs sticky with your essence.
Taehyung, on the other hand, was getting noticeably antsy beneath you, fingers increasingly twitching against your damp skin the longer his brothers got more of your attention. You looked down, and the furrow of his brow and downturn of his lips were your last clues to his growing jealousy before he took action, hand reaching up to drag through the mess you were making before his thumb sought your clit, rolling and pinching. You bucked and squealed, the extra stimulation rocking you to your core and making your walls pulse dangerously enough that you found yourself squirming to escape him, grabbing Tae’s wrist for the second time that night in an act of self-preservation.
He was undeterred, rerouting his focus to your chest instead. With impatient hands, he yanked on the cups of your bodysuit, a concerning ripping noise immediately filling the room at the action. Before you could even say anything, he was already lifting his head to eagerly bite and suckle on your newly freed tits, tongue curling around a pebbled nipple and mumbling “I’ll buy you another one.”
Switching from one erogenous zone to another did nothing to quell your desire, but at least the stimulation wasn’t as intense. This you could safely enjoy, lashes fluttering, chest inadvertently pushing further into his face in silent encouragement.
And encourage you did, Taehyung creating enough suction with his mouth to properly burst capillaries. Contentedly littering your skin with marks you allowed, comfortable in knowing this was a region easily covered by your clothes.
Determined not to lose focus, you leaned forward again to continue giving Namjoon your full attention, trying to strategize the best way to get at him without using your hands. But either Namjoon finally decided to take pity on you or he was getting impatient too, because it was his own hands that reached down, only bothering to disturb his waistband enough to free his already leaking cock.
You didn’t know if it was a conditioned response from your past escapades or simply the extremely sexy sight of him giving himself a few firm, confident pumps. Either way, you felt it when you started to salivate, aching to properly taste him.
Your enthusiasm must have shown on your face, because the blond man simply smirked down at you knowingly, thumb slowly running over a prominent vein and further smearing his own mess around. “Well?” he prompted, almost sounding bored. You knew he wasn’t. That he was rock hard and dribbling precum, that his eyes were hooded yet laser-focused on the way his brothers devoured you—those were clues enough. Still, you couldn’t help the fire his feigned disinterest lit low in your belly, desperate to please him.
You started low, turning your head so you could playfully tongue first at his balls before making the long trek up the massive length of him, taking care not to accidentally involve your teeth from the way Seokjin’s thrusts were rocking you forward. Finally, you took him in your mouth, suckling on the weeping head. Humming contentedly at the salty taste and meeting his blown eyes from beneath your lashes.
Namjoon’s lips parted, but he didn’t say anything, hips twitching forward when you pressed your tongue into his slit.
You didn’t notice at first. To be fair, you were plenty preoccupied with everything else going on, with all other sensations. So you didn’t notice Taehyung’s hand drifting over your hip until he was cupping one of your asscheeks, fingers teasing further inward.
Before you could say anything, a finger sunk itself into your cunt, right next to where Jin was still plowing into you. You groaned, eyes rolling back at the added stretch, but the oldest brother wasn’t as pleased by the intrusion.
“Taehyung,” he said gruffly, voice deep with irritation and thinly-veiled hunger. But Tae just pumped the long digit into you a few times and then slowly backtracked, lightly trailing the slick back up the cleft of your ass.
“Relax,” came Tae’s mellow reply, and when he started circling a questioning finger around your rim, you weren’t sure if he was talking to you or Seokjin.
Still, you shivered, breath stuttering when you realized where this was going. When the finger did nothing more than circle and lightly press against you, you released Namjoon’s cockhead from between your lips, eyes fluttering. “Yes,” you breathed hot against Namjoon’s crotch, understanding what Tae was wordlessly asking you.
A glance down produced Taehyung, eyes all pupil, tongue lolling thoughtfully in his mouth as he watched you tremble above him, tits rippling and swaying from Seokjin’s force. Finger mindlessly continuing the massaging of your hole. He locked eyes with you, making sure he understood, and then slowly started pressing the slick digit into your asshole.
You whimpered, fighting against your instinct to clamp down on him. Relax. Relax. It didn’t hurt exactly—was just pressure where you weren’t used to having any. And Tae made sure to go at a glacial pace, made sure to keep massaging your insides, to help you acclimate to the intrusion.
Distantly, you felt Jin’s thrusts slow to something much more languid, and you had a feeling the way your body was opening up for his youngest brother was more than a little distracting.
“Good?” Tae asked shakily, sinking into you bit by bit.
“Yes,” you slurred, completely fucked out. Tae’s always had large hands with long, elegant fingers, and right now, when he kept going further and further in, you were becoming privy to just how long they actually were. Your eyes threatened to roll back when his last knuckle finally breached you, and when he gave you a cursory tap after a few seconds, you had to swallow a moan.
Rather affectionately, Namjoon started caressing your face, bringing your attention back to him. Dazed, you put him back in your mouth, continuing to suck him and trying not to think about how Seokjin was revving his pace back up and Taehyung was tapping your insides in tandem. Namjoon just smiled softly down at you, and it was so sweet that you almost don’t see what happened next coming, too preoccupied with everything else that was going on. Gently, his hand drifted up—and gripped you securely by the hair, cock suddenly surging down your throat. You immediately gagged, throat repeatedly convulsing around him, and he grunted appreciatively at the feeling before pulling all the way out. Cheeks still sweetly dimpling at how wrecked you were.
And wrecked was the only way to describe you. You were gasping, jaw glistening with spit. Eyes watering and whole body twitching from all the relentless stimulation.
Namjoon only gave you a few seconds to gain your bearings before a pull of your hair had your head snapping back. Before his cock was pushing back into your panting mouth. You tried your best to relax your throat this time, taking stuttered breaths from your nose when his fucking began in earnest. Tried your best to ignore the way your jaw threatened to lock from trying to accommodate the sheer girth of him.
It was a lot. You were feeling sensations from so many areas at once—ass, tits, mouth, cunt—that your brain was absolutely swirling trying to figure out which brother’s ministrations it should be focusing on. And though the pleasure pumping through you was borderline unbearable, you couldn’t even let that overflow of emotion out, your wails stuck bubbling in your chest because you were too busy lewdly gargling on Namjoon’s cock.
You remembered, all those months ago when you’d first been considering whether you should take this job, how you'd poured yourself another glass of wine and reread the contact for the nth time thinking well, I guess I do have three holes. That’s certainly convenient.
Now that it was happening, however—now that all three of your holes were stuffed and both your mouth and your pussy were dribbling and messy and straining with effort—now, it was nothing short of intense. Nothing hurt, but you were so completely and entirely overwhelmed by all of the feeling that you thought you might just simply burst, your nerve endings crackling free and raining over the room like fireworks.
It’s too much. It was too much, but right when you were starting to consider giving Namjoon two taps on the wrist—a metaphorical yellow—he backed off on his own, easing some of the pressure. And suddenly your mouth was free, a string of saliva still connecting you to his glistening cock before the tension of him stepping back eventually made it snap.
Namjoon had eased some of the pressure, but he couldn’t stop more from surging forward in its place. Your body could only take so much of their tortuous teasing before it succumbed to its baser instincts, and it seemed you had finally reached your boiling point. In a trance, you pressed your hips backwards to meet Seokjin’s next stroke, forcing him deeper inside you and making you both shudder. And that small action was all the encouragement he needed, his primal instincts screaming at him to ruin you.
Drilling into you with new purpose, Jin fucked the remaining breath out of your lungs, staccatoed bursts of ah ah ah pouring from your drooling mouth. Panting like an animal in heat, moaning so wantonly that you would be embarrassed if you weren’t already so completely braindead with pleasure.
“Holy shit,” Taehyung breathed, watching your rapid unraveling in amazement. “You’re so fucking hot. Fuck.”
Before even realizing what was happening, you finally shattered around him, your bones liquifying at the intensity and causing you to collapse on Tae, writhing and choking into his neck.
“There you go,” Jin encouraged, words wobbling as he tried to weather the force of how tightly your walls were squeezing him.
Taehyung was curling his finger within you to lengthen your orgasm, was absently rubbing your back to guide you through it. “So perfect,” he whispered, lips fondly brushing against your temple while you shook.
When it finally ended you were left twitching and sensitive, too dizzy from the sheer force of your climax to register the thunder rolling across Namjoon’s face.
His brothers did, though.
An audible squelch filled the room when, without warning, Seokjin pulled completely out of you. Confused, you looked over your shoulder at him, only to suddenly find yourself lifted and tilted, Taehyung surging upright and taking you with him. Unprepared to catch yourself, your back easily hit the mattress, now finding yourself looking up at the three brothers who hovered over you.
“Hmmm.” Namjoon pretended to think, tone calm but eyes steely. “I could have sworn I specifically told you not to do that.”
“You did,” Jin cut in mildly, looking between the two of you curiously.
Your eyes widened, unprepared for this turn of events. You never would have pegged Jin as such an instigator, but apparently he was very interested in seeing the consequences of your continued disobedience.
Your betrayal must have shown on your face, because Seokjin’s lips pursed in amusement. “Sorry, sweetheart,” he chuckled, leaning down to press a chaste kiss against your lips. “You’ve been so good for me, but we have to be fair. And unlike Taehyung, I know how to share.”
“Am I or am I not sharing right now?” Tae griped, unamused by the dig. But you were no longer paying those two any attention, your focus now fully on Namjoon and the leisurely way he was now stripping out of his shirt.
“I’m sorry, Daddy,” you hedged, knowing before you even said the words that they would do jack shit to appease him. “It just felt too good…”
Namjoon raised an unimpressed eyebrow, throwing his t-shirt on the floor as if it offended him. “All you keep saying is sorry,” he mused. Down went his pants and underwear, kicked out of his way. His knee hit the mattress, Taehyung shifting to the side so Namjoon could finally stalk over to where you lay, fucked open and wet. Cautiously, you met his stare, the breath halting in your lungs when you recognized the retribution that was undoubtedly about to come.
“But sorry means nothing if you don’t modify your behavior,” he tsked, eyes darkening. “So. I don’t believe you.”
That was all the warning you got before he was crowding into your space, grabbing you by the ankles and hooking them over his shoulders. Caging you in with his body, pressing close enough that his cock easily slid over the mess of your cunt, making you mewl at the sensation.
And that involuntary reaction didn’t seem to help your case with Namjoon. “More?” he scoffed, seemingly displeased, though the way he rocked his length through the seam of you told a different story. “After all that, you still want more?”
You were exhausted, thighs still quivering from your last orgasm. But you couldn’t help the way the weight of his body and the slide of his cock were causing your pussy to pulse. “Yes, Daddy,” you breathed, angling your hips down so you could deliciously meet him on his upstroke.
“And it’s all about what you want, isn’t it?” he mocked, spearing you to the hilt in one go. You choked at the intrusion, not expecting him to enter you so suddenly. At this point, you were fully prepped enough to take him, but, like his brothers, Namjoon was still a lot to take all at once.
Particularly when he had already made up his mind that the best way to punish you was with his cock.
You quickly gathered his gameplay from the immediate way he started rutting into you, not giving you any time to adjust or catch your breath. Simply railing you into the mattress, your legs over his shoulders ensuring he hit deep enough for you to feel it in your throat.
“Fuckkk,” you groaned, fingers curling in the sheets, biting down on your lip enough to taste metal. “Fuck fuck—”
“What?” he taunted, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Making sure he scraped your g-spot on every thrust. “This is what you wanted, remember? And it’s all about what you want.”
“Yes, Daddy.” You could already feel yourself ready to clamp down again, your extremely sensitive pussy overreactive to any and all stimulation. “I want it, I want it, yesss—”
He pressed impossibly closer, bending you enough that you felt the burning strain in your legs, and that did the trick. Before you could nervously start to ponder whether you were flexible enough for what he wanted to do, you were cumming, hard, back attempting to bow with the force of it but only succeeding in making your whole body lock up and your vision blur.
Namjoon didn’t slow down during your climax, and he certainly didn’t slow down after. He fucked you like a machine, undeterred by how your pulsing walls tried to suck him in and keep him there. Undeterred by how you hopelessly whined and squirmed in overstimulation. And when you suddenly heard a familiar buzzing noise, there was nothing you could do but meet his intense gaze with wide, alarmed eyes.
“What?” he demanded, pressing your long-forgotten wand vibrator right on your clit and making you immediately jerk. The caramel of his skin was already glistening and beading with sweat, but he seemed long from tired. “You think you can cum on everbody’s dick but mine?”
It was too much, the near animalistic pace of his fucking paired with how high he had turned the vibrator making your hands shoot up, scrabbling along his biceps in a panicked response, your body now entirely on autopilot, desperately trying to save itself from its fate.
“Please,” you heard yourself beg, choking at the intensity. Legs jerking uselessly on his shoulders, nails scratching marks down his skin.
But the word that would make him stop never passed your lips. And so he continued to ignore your unsuccessful struggling, fucking you right back to orgasm, this time somehow even stronger than the last and stealing all air from your lungs.
He felt it, of course. Felt exactly how hard you were squeezing him, the tight grip of your pussy evoking the grit of his teeth.
“You’re gonna have to try harder than that to milk me,” he growled, moving the vibrator away from you just enough for you to suck in a breath. “Come on, take this dick since you want it so bad. Take it!”
And you had no choice but to take it, trying your best not to black out as he forced the coil within you to snap, again and again. You were shrieking, but you couldn’t even perceive your own actions anymore, swept completely by his unforgiving undertow of pain-lined pleasure. Namjoon was fucking you stupid, scrambling your brain as easily as if it were an egg, forcing you to your most primal of reactions, your most basest of self. Thrashing beneath him, desperate tears trickling down your cheeks, spit freely trickling from your wailing mouth.
It felt neverending, this exquisite torture, and just when you were starting to get distressed about how much longer you would be able to take it, Namjoon’s thrusts started to turn sloppy.
“This is all you wanted, right?” he panted, hips stuttering. A welcome warning for what was soon to come. His focus rapidly shifted from your orgasm to his own, and the way he tossed the still buzzing vibrator to the side was nothing short of impatient.
You blinked up blearily at him, the reduction in stimulation helping you slowly return to your body after being stuck the stratosphere.
“Wanted my nut? Agreed to fuck all of us at once just so you could get more of it, isn’t that right, babygirl?”
His intense stare told you he expected an answer, but all you could do was whine in response, hesitant to admit it. Pussy pulsing at the very visual he had conjured up. Warily, you glanced at the other two brothers, nervous at what you might find there, but one look quickly evaporated all uncertainty.
Though they had moved out of the way for Namjoon, they hadn’t moved far—still close enough for you to reach out and touch, still close enough for them to hover over you and get a close view of the action. Still close enough for you to see understanding dawn across Seokjin’s face, to see pure astonishment take over Taehyung’s.
Namjoon spotted your division in attention and was having none of it, a hand guiding your jaw until you were focusing on him again. “You like being a dirty cumslut,” he prompted mildly, your heart racing in response. Slipping a thumb between your plush lips and humming approvingly when you sucked on it, tongue twirling. “Don’t you, baby?”
“Yes, Daddy,” you moaned hoarsely, the very admission making your whole body vibrate. The continued hammering of your sensitive core making you want to reflexively squirm away, though Namjoon’s heavy body ensured you had nowhere to go.
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, I like being a dirty cumslut.”
Taehyung whimpered, and it was easy for you to deduce from the rapid movement you could see from the corner of your eye that he was jacking himself off while watching you. Well and truly done with delaying his own pleasure.
And from the rather manic way Namjoon was looking at you, he was obviously on the same wavelength. “And do you know how much cumsluts love it?” A quick swipe of his tongue over his panting lips. “They want it in them. On them.”
“Please, Daddy,” you begged, nearly sobbing at the strength your want. Your head whipping around, desperately pleading with all three of them. “Please let me have it! I’ve been so good, please—”
“Holy shit,” Tae groaned, eyes rolling back in his head. “Okay baby, I’ll give you what you want. I’ll give you it all. You want it all?”
“Yes. Yes, yes yes yes yesyesyes—”
Abruptly, Taehyung was pushing forward into your space, hovering more directly over you and treating you to the sight of how those long fingers were furiously pumping his cock. He was panting, a prominent vein in his neck visible because of his efforts, little whines escaping him as he viciously worked his slick length.
There was shifting on your other side, and your focus immediately turned to Seokjin. He looked back at you dazedly, lips parted, chest flushed at your attention.
“Please?” you whimpered, fully aware how pathetic you must have looked but not giving a single shit. So long as you got what you wanted. You needed them to give you what you wanted.
The oldest immediately softened at your pleading, always so willing and eager to please you. “Of course,” he breathed, hand already moving over himself with long, tight strokes. He shivered, hips reflexively jumping forward at the stimulation. “W-Where?”
A shift, and Namjoon was pulling back from you, maneuvering your legs back to the bed and sitting back on his haunches. Despite this new position, he never let his cock leave the comfort of your walls, continuing to hammer into you, jaw locked in concentration, balls smacking into your ass with a lewd slapping sound. Focused only on racing to the finish line.
“Anywhere,” you shuddered. “Everywhere, just…” Your entire body was on fire and you could barely take it, the anticipation of what was about to happen making you writhe over the sheets, whimpering pathetically. Your tongue lolling out your gasping mouth, an eager target.
And then finally—finally—you were given what you asked for. Loud, uncontrolled moans spilled from Taehyung’s lips, swiftly becoming desperate before one last squeeze of his cock had him cumming, his release spraying hot all over your breasts and slowly trailing through your cleavage.
You moaned with him, delight buzzing through your veins at being marked so intimately, and the sound seemed to trigger Namjoon, who immediately pulled out of you, expertly pumped himself a few times, and then ejaculated with a long, drawn-out grunt. After essentially edging himself for most of the night, the amount of cum he gifted you was more than generous, most of it painting your pussy in long ropes, but some of it inevitably ending up on your belly with how aggressively he was jerking himself off.
The sight of it all, the feeling, was so unbearably hot that you almost came untouched, eyes rolling back, pussy pulsing with interest despite how exhausted you were. And your obvious pleasure was what finally set off Jin, teeth digging into his lower lip while his seed spurted white across the lower half of your face and slid down your jaw, some of it delightedly landing on your awaiting tongue.
You hummed contentedly, immediately licking the thick, heady remnants from your lips so you wouldn’t waste a drop. Your eyes fluttered shut, your hands slowly and sensually trailing over your own body. Basking in it all. Purposely smearing their mess over wider stretches of skin—pinching gently at your nipples, dragging your fingers between your tits, gliding over your hips, drawing light, sticky figure eights around your clit before dipping a bit lower and slipping two cum-coated digits inside your hot walls. Your hips twitched, lazily chasing the intrusion on reflex. Simply enjoying being so completely and utterly satisfied.
You were so transfixed and in your own world that you completely forgot about the three other people still in the room, greedily feasting on the undeniably filthy way you savored what they gave you. You weren’t sure how long they let you be, but it was a voice finally breaking the silence that slowly lured back to reality.
“_____?”
The voice was gentle, yet deep, the spell cast over you immediately broken at the sound of it. It was Namjoon, hovering over you again, lips quirking into a small smile as he watched the fog disperse from your eyes. “How do you feel?”
You let out a satisfied sigh, pulling your fingers out of your pussy with hum. “Tired,” you admitted, voice raspy from the activities. “But amazing.”
His smile widened, cheeks dimpling. “I’m glad.”
Suddenly, Taehyung was laying on the bed with you, arms wrapped around your sticky form. Just like always, his sweaty body slotted easily against yours, happily nuzzling his face into your neck and apparently wholly unfazed about the fact that you were completely covered in spunk. “You’re amazing,” he chirped, pressing a flurry of kisses into your skin and making you giggle. “You know, when you told me you liked cum forever ago, I didn’t realize this was what you meant.”
“You never asked,” you shrugged, somehow still timid despite everything that had just happened. “What did you want me to say, exactly? Hey Tae, do you mind doing me a solid and shooting the club up? Or maybe can you give me a nice, relaxing facial?”
The pure bafflement of his expression had you laughing again. “In what world would I ever say no to that?” he demanded incredulously.
Amused by the turn in conversation, Seokjin bent down to press his lips against your forehead in gratitude before swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “Do you mind if I use your shower?”
“Of course,” you replied, moving to direct him to your bathroom before Namjoon stopped you with a pat on the thigh.
“I’ll show him.”
You couldn’t help but watch their strong, naked forms leave the room, eyes drawn to the musculature of their backs and buttocks.
“Hey.” Tae poked you in the cheek, mirth dancing in his eyes from catching your ogling. “Focus. I’m talking to you.”
“What, I’m not allowed to enjoy the view?”
He couldn’t help but huff out a laugh, though he was undeterred from getting the answers he sought.
“I told you what I wanted,” he reminded you gently, pressing another kiss against your jaw. “You know you could have done the same.”
You shifted in his hold, sheepish. “Tae, all of this isn’t really about me…”
“What, so just because we’re paying you, you’re not supposed to enjoy it too?” he scoffed. “Baby, as we’ve just proven tonight, it’s more fun when we all have fun.”
“I always have fun!” you protested, but you were prevented from elaborating by Namjoon returning with a washcloth. He climbed back on the bed, reaching for your ankles and guiding them apart.
“Open,” he directed, his tone containing none of the dominance it often had when he usually uttered the word. You obediently followed his instruction, a soft sigh escaping your lips when he pressed the warm cloth against your thoroughly battered netherparts and started cleaning you up.
For a little bit, Taehyung watched your makeshift bath in silence, not even saying anything when Namjoon left to rinse off the towel and came back with a freshly damp one, gliding over the stained skin of your face and chest before they started to crust over. In fact, Tae didn’t speak again until your spot bath was finished and Namjoon was clambering back in the bed with the two of you, an arm slinging low over your waist as to not disturb where Tae’s rested. Pulling you against him until your chests were flush.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us on our trip?” You could feel Taehyung’s pout against your skin, displeased at the idea of being away from you for three weeks.
You huffed out a laugh, slinging a leg over Namjoon’s hip to settle more comfortably into your new position as the filling of a TaeJoon sandwich. “I’m positive. I have a lot studying to do and frankly, I’m not completely sure I can walk anymore.”
“Who said you need to walk?” Namjoon cut in sleepily.
“We can pay someone to walk for you,” came Tae’s enthusiastic, yet ridiculous offer. “We’ll be going to meetings, but you can just roam the city if you want. Or relax at the hotel. You can lounge by the pool all day and put all your food and drinks on our tab.”
Though it certainly sounded tempting, you were fully aware what the tradeoff of that makeshift vacation would be, and the absolute last thing you wanted to think about after the crazy intense session you just experienced was sex. So, despite Taehyung’s wheedling, you managed to stand firm in your decision, completely fine with waiting until they were back in the country to even consider spreading your legs for any of them again.
And you were justified when Seokjin finally reappeared, fully clothed, rubbing a towel through his hair, and informing you that his assistant Wendy would be in touch to schedule his next session for sometime after he returned.
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#taehyung smut#namjoon smut#seokjin smut#bts smut#bts fic#bts fanfic#taehyung x reader#namjoon x reader#seokjin x reader#taehyung fanfic#seokjin fanfic#namjoon fanfic#mine#husband#bae#mr. worldwide#✨kim tag✨#fic: satisfy
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Hi, guys!
I know it's been a while, months actually, and I didn't intend to be absent for so long. Some of you might have heard about my writer's block, but in hindsight, I think it was mostly me not feeling so well about life itself. I can't say things are better nor that's been a significance change, but without effort nothing will ever get done, so I am here to at least alert those of you still here about the future of my work.
I've started a lot of fanfics that I've left unfinished. Most of you followed me from my days in the Gintama fandom, or from my Toji fics. I am truly grateful that I keep getting notifications and you continue reading my fanfics, seeing your comments gives me so much joy even if I'm not responding.
I won't make any promises. Some of my fics might never see their end, but there are two fics I really want to see to completion, no matter how long it takes. Those include my "Roommates from Hell"-Toji series, and the "I wannna tie the knot" one with Satoru. The Toji one will admittedly take more time, since I've stopped fixating on him, but the next chapter of the Satoru one is close to completion. Or I might break it into more chapters cause it's turned huge. We'll see.
Anyways! My personal goal is to have a work out by the end of October. I won't be participating to Kinktober this year, but if everything turns out well and I get a feel of my own writing back, I might be able to get more work done faster.
I wanna apologize to my readers as it wasn't my intention to string them along. Writing has been my passion and not getting to write took an even bigger toll on my mental health, but I wanna come back to it. Thank you everyone for your support, even if not many of you get to read this.
See you again soon!
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on fic writing and fandom: where am i going forward?
So. It's a bloody dull Friday and I'm writing this post--have been meaning to, for a while--because I can't stop thinking about it. It's just a few (a lot, actually) thoughts I've had in my mind the past few days that I've decided to spill into a single post, which turned out far longer than it needed to be, but nothing too important. Under the cut.
I've been a fanfic writer for a while now. Not a long time by any means, but a while nonetheless. My first fic--which is now orphaned like a few of its brothers for undisclosed reasons, though if you're an og you might be able to guess why--was dated back to the 18th of November 2021. 3 years later and I've got a humble 89 works and counting (the orphaned works and unposted wips unincluded). I can safely say I've improved quite a lot since then.
Where are you going with this, then, Kitty? Surely you aren't here just to brag about your writing progress?
Well. Not exactly. But I'll start with this: I guess what I'm trying to say is I've lost the spark.
You know. The old feeling. That boost of serotonin you get after you finish a piece you're proud of, or when you get lovely reviews on ao3, or when you get a kudos email, or a new mutual, or some wild tags under your silly post. The spark. I haven't felt it in a long time, now. The last time it's been so palpable was... I'm not sure. Probably last year's October. That was a lot of fun. I was most prolific in fic writing, that year. It shouldn't feel like a long time ago. Because it wasn't.
Don't get me wrong. I love all this. All that's going on right now. The comments I'm getting--even if fewer than I had before--and all the other interactions, I appreciate and enjoy and love them so, so much. And writing my newer fic projects are well exciting. But it just isn't the same anymore. I'm afraid it never will be.
(Maybe it has something to do with the lack of interactions lately. Maybe? I don't really know, either. I'm sure we're all well aware the fandom is past its peak, and with the current developments in the MCU I am frankly unsurprised, but I dunno.)
I guess that's part of the reason I've been less active lately. I've been inactive as a whole this year, admittedly, and disappearing far too often for far too long (and I notice some of my friends are, too). I just didn't get the same joy from being in a fandom like I had when I first started this blog, or my ao3 account.
In hindsight, I've probably been a little too dependent on fandom to provide me serotonin. The past few years have been hard, the years before that, too. Life just keeps kicking me in the arse time and time again. I guess I've been using fandom and fic writing as a coping mechanism, and once I've had my fill, the joy dies off to something a little more dull. Like a gum I've been chewing for too long that the sweetness has since worn off.
Honestly? I don't want it to be this way. I want to live without being so dependent on my presence online. I want to live without only knowing joy through internet interactions. I've got to learn to. It sounds silly, but it's true. (I think I may be slightly chronically online, oh no. x'D)
So naturally my first instinct is to distance myself a little. I contemplated quitting, but I can't do that. I don't see myself ever doing that, no matter how many times my brain convinces me that I might.
When this year started, I had set some goals for writing. One of them was to write for more whumptober prompts than I did last year or complete them all. I did like 21 prompts or something last year. Of 31. Within a little more than a month. While still balancing all the life stuff I had going on. This is, if not obvious, an extremely ambitious goal. I am not insane. I don't know what I was thinking. I can't possibly do that now, can I? Not with all the stuff that's been happening.
...
Can I?
...
Yeah, no. Definitely not.
See, that's another thing: writing. Probably the thing I'm trying to get at in this post but otherwise derailed completely from. Fuck my brain.
I'm sure many of you have noticed that I've been writing significantly less. I still post, obviously, but not as much as like, last year when the number of works I had went from a few to far too much. That had helped me improve quite a lot, actually, but those days I barely slept because I just insisted to replace my sleep time with Writing Shit For The Gays. It was pretty unhealthy now that I look back at it. My sleep schedule is still shit now but, yk. Some things just never change.
I was really, really caught up on wanting to be good at writing. Like, really good. I wanted to make awesome things. I wanted to write like a real fucking pro. Like all the more popular fandom authors I look up to. I want to be like the big dogs in fandom. It sounds so silly. I did everything; sprinting daily, setting a minimum of 500 words writing sessions every day, trying new writing styles, churning out works after works, writing for prompts and events and gifts and the like. I was enjoying it, yes, but was it really something I did for myself? Or was it because I wanted to please other people or impress other people for their validation, which is something I'm entirely too dependent of? Was it for the numbers?
Well. It was more for that than for me, I realised a little too late.
So yeah. Fuck wanting to be good. I want to write for the hell of it. I want to write something that's for me. Not what the majority of the fandom or other people want to read, but for me. Which is why I absolutely loved writing works like just a matter of time, how to kill a god, or how to become a god, because they're not meant for other people but myself. (Ironically that last work is a gift but, yk. I still liked it.) I know I joke about self-projecting a lot, but it's been seriously helping me rediscover the joy of writing that doesn't come from the incessant need to be good or perfect or focus on producing more and more and more. It makes me feel like a kid again. Also, I'm only realising this now but I'd rather get like 5 people who enjoy reading my works so much and express them to me rather than 100 people who silently thumbs up at me and then go away to consume another fic or demand more. (All this to say I still love interactions, it just shouldn't be my no. 1 priority to get them when writing fanfics.)
But yeah. None of those works are perfect. They're not meant to be. But they're mine. They're me. They represent me. And it's so, so great to feel that in writing. I've been so stuck up on being some sort of content machine. I'm doing this for myself, how could I forget? I've been saying this since the beginning, I don't know why I'm still struggling to do it. God. It's ridiculous.
Anyway. That's that. This has become a very long ramble. Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk. And for letting me waste your time, if you make it to the end of this post.
#ramblings#personal#writing#i doubt anyone would bother reading this from start to finish but i needed somewhere to just Say Things and Let It Out
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Omg the new tas chapter was amazing!!! Im lit so obsessed its so well written ughhhh
Also i was just wondering if u are considering continuing the “you’re a dog im your man” fic? Absolutely NO PRESSURE AT ALL and i read and love everything write so i hope this doesn’t come across as demanding. I was just wondering cause i was rereading that fic today haha. Anyways hope u have a great day ❤️❤️
HI okay! first of all thank you SOOO so much omg :')) <3 i promise it doesn't come across as demanding at alllll, i really am so grateful for how chill 99% of anons have been in my inbox 😭💗 and i hope you have a great day too!!
this might be a little long–winded bc i don't think i've made a proper post about this (i might've and just forgot lol my bad), but you're a dog (i'm your man) has not been abandoned, i promise!! <3
i know it's been stupid long since the last chapter, like four–ish months atp? at first i just got very swept up in tough and sweet (clearly lol), but then when i sat down to start yadiym chapter seven, i just could Not get something i was happy with. it's not even writer's block, because i know exactly what is going to happen in every chapter, can see it play it out in my head like a movie and all, but everything i put down on the page just wasn't doing the vision i had in my head justice. :/
i think i've rewritten and scrapped ch7 three or four times now lol and it sucksss. i care so so much about this fic, it's really what got me to fall back in love with writing and it means a lot to me, so it makes me even more picky about making it as good as it can possibly be. my tentative goal is to put out a new chapter before the new year... december is gonna be pretty busy hence the 'tentative,' but i'd be really really happy if i could get something into a doc that i'm happy with by then. :')
chapter seven is currently a completely blank doc and i haven't touched it since the last scrap lol, but i've been pouring over the whole drafting doc the past month to get my brain back into dog coded mode and i do feel hopeful that this next attempt will be something i feel better about <3 who knows, maybe i will be able to hop on here on christmas and be like 🤲🏻 merry christmas here's ch7 🤲🏻
that's the dream anyway :-) again gotta say thank u to anyone who's still stayed interested in this story and has been so very patient and chill with me, i'm so thankful and it really is motivating/kicking my ass into gear to know that anyone's actually still waiting for an update!! insane to meeee <333
#dog coded bucky fic#can't believe i never updated that tag to the actual fic title oops lol#johnslittlespoon asks
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Until I Met You - Chapter 34
Chapter 34: Ill Tidings
Pairings: Halsin x Tav
Word count: 3,893
Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.
Chapter 1
Read on AO3
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Summary: Our group of heroes makes their way to the Thorm mausoleum. Halsin is finally reunited with Thaniel. Part 34 of the slow burn fic. Tav and Halsin POVs.
Tags: Slow burn, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual love confessions, eventual smut, angst, implied past rape/non-con and abuse, graphic description of injuries, brief suicidal thoughts.
A/N: A bit of a shorter chapter to bridge some big events, but still some fun dialogue! I don't know about you, but I think Thaniel would be just a little bit of a shit (affectionate) ;) you'll get to see more of him (and Oliver) in upcoming chapters!!
Halsin awoke to find Tav still curled up against him. He guessed they had only been out for a couple of hours. At some point during their trance, she had moved into his lap and was now wrapped in his arms with her head on his chest. The sight made his heart race. Tentatively, he leaned forward and placed a light kiss on the top of her head.
He wanted nothing more than to sit there holding her for the rest of the day. But for now, he needed his focus to return to their shared goal of banishing the Absolute cult from these lands and driving the shadows away for good.
He jostled Tav awake. Her eyelids slowly opened, and she stretched in his arms. She smiled up at him as she shook off the last of her trance. It took her a moment to take in her surroundings, but once she did a familiar redness started to creep over her face. She jumped to her feet, tugging at her long, messy braid.
“Oh…uh…good morning…” She started to stammer. “I’m sorry I must have drifted off last night. I didn’t mean to trap you here…” Halsin chuckled in response.
“There is nothing to apologize for, believe me when I say there are worse traps that I have been caught in. But to wake up to such a lovely sight as you…” He held his hand out to her, trying to persuade her to come sit again. “I think I could be convinced to be trapped more often.”
She took his hand and let him lead her down to the ground next to him.
“I meant what I said the other night, Tav,” he started, still holding her hand. “I care for you. My heart and mind have been closed off for so long, I don’t know when I’ll be able to open them again.” He let out a deep breath.
“I care for you too, Halsin. And I understand,” she said softly, squeezing his hand. “I can’t blame you for not wanting to open your heart to someone who could turn into a mind flayer without a moment’s notice.” Her lower lip was starting to quiver as she looked away from him.
He looked at her, confused. Did she think that was the problem?
“Tav…” He moved one hand to cradle her cheek. “The parasite has nothing to do with this. I…” He looked down at the ground.
“My mind has been walled off completely by this shadow curse since it was unleashed. Nothing has been able to break through that barrier. Not until you.”
She nuzzled her face further into the palm of his hand.
“I’m afraid I just need some more time before we can be anything more than this.” He looked down at the other hand that was now holding hers.
“But it’s as I told you before, you should follow your heart just as I follow mine. I would never dream of asking you to save yourself for me, it is not in my nature.” Halsin kept his eyes fixed on their hands.
“More than anything, I cherish your friendship, your company. And I do not wish to lose that.”
“You won’t,” Tav assured him as she squeezed his hand.
“I…I’m sorry I can’t be more for you right now.”
“There’s nothing to apologize for, love. You’re more than enough as you are.”
“But I want to be more I just can’t seem to see past the shadows…past the guilt and the grief.” He let out a frustrated grunt. “I want so badly to be close to you, Tav, but every time I try, I feel something pull me back.”
“I like spending time with you. We can be as close as you like, Halsin. If that means we hold hands or share a hug every now and then, but nothing more, I’m happy to accept.”
“Perhaps more often than every now and then,” he teased back in a hopeful whisper.
She smiled before leaning forward and pulling him into a hug.
“I can be patient, Halsin. I can wait.”
I can wait.
The words brought tears to his eyes as he hugged her back, grateful that his face was hidden in her shoulder. Her soft strokes in his hair caused him to melt further into her embrace.
But why? Why would she want to wait for him?
“You just let me know when you’re ready,” she said as she released him. “You can set the pace, love.”
Gods, why can’t I be ready now?
“I will.”
She paused for a moment and took a shaky breath. “And should you decide it’s not something you want, then you’ll still have me as a friend.”
“Thank you,” he whispered back.
Halsin took one of her hands and gave her knuckles a light kiss.
“I should go and check on Thaniel.” He reluctantly pulled away from her. “He should be awake soon, or so I hope.”
“Of course. I’ll go check the torches around the perimeter.”
“Join us when you’re done?”
“I’ll be there shortly.” She squeezed his hand again as she stood up.
Halsin watched her walk away as he rose from his seat. She turned over her shoulder and caught him staring. Rather than quickly averting their gazes as they had so many times before, they locked eyes for a moment and smiled. A new kind of warmth spread through his chest as she turned away again.
I can wait.
For the first time in so long someone cared about him, not just because they needed something or looked up to him. Because they wanted to be with him, and they wanted to be with him so badly that they would wait for him to be ready.
He just hoped he wouldn’t have to keep her waiting for long.
In his tent, Thaniel still remained in a sound slumber. At least his breathing had calmed, and his face looked much more peaceful than it had last night.
“We did it, Thaniel,” he whispered as the small boy’s soft snores filled his tent. “Oliver will be returned to your side, you’ll be whole again. I have so much to tell you, my friend.”
He sat and talked to Thaniel as he slept, holding one of his small hands. Telling him of their journey so far, of all the nights he tried to speak with him. He apologized for not making it back to Moonrise sooner, for leaving him in the clutches of the Shadowfell for so long. He told him about Tav, how she saved them.
Over one hundred years had passed since he’d seen Thaniel last, and he still had not changed one bit. As he continued to sleep, Halsin closed his eyes and offered another prayer of thanks to Silvanus for helping him to be reunited with his oldest friend.
A small groan took his attention away from his prayers. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Thaniel’s fluttering open as well. Tears started pouring down his face as soon as he saw those eyes filled with the very essence of nature itself.
His irises started as a deep brown, as rich as the soil beneath them before shifting to green, the color of the forest canopy. Small, golden tendrils cut their way through as the sun pierced the leaves of the trees before fading to a soft blue, mirroring that of the sky.
“Thaniel?” he asked quietly.
“Halsin Silverbough…you returned. I felt it when you crossed into this land.”
He let out a loud, relieved laugh as Thaniel sat up next to him, it took a great effort from him to do so.
“Easy, my friend.” Halsin helped him up.
“I told the man who was trapped with me to find you. He was a good friend to me while we were prisoners in the Shadowfell.”
“He found us. He led me to you.” Halsin sniffled and wiped his face on the back of his arm. “Thaniel, I…I’m so sorry. I wanted to find you that day. I wanted to bring you with us, away from these wretched shadows.”
“If you would have stayed, you would have been consumed. I am glad you made it to safety. And I knew you would return.” He reached up to rest a hand on Halsin’s cheek. “You opened your heart, and nature listened.”
“Just as you taught me.”
Sobs took over his body at feeling Thaniel’s touch. He reached out and pulled his friend close. Knowing that he never lost faith in him soothed away the guilt that had clawed at his insides for decades.
“I sensed someone else return with you as well.”
“Yes, Tav. She’s the one I told you about while you slept.” He smiled at the sound of her name on his lips. “She was here all those years ago as well.”
“Can I meet her?”
“Of course! She should be making her way over here soon.”
Thaniel’s tired smile drew forth another laugh from him. The tremendous joy of seeing him alive and well again gave Halsin all the confirmation he needed that he had made the right decision to come back.
The grove and the druids who resided there would recover in his absence, but Thaniel could not have been saved without him. This land could not have been saved had he stayed at the Emerald Grove.
As he sat and talked with Thaniel for a while longer, the young boy suddenly perked up, staring past Halsin’s shoulder.
“Hey…” Tav was approaching his tent with a surprised look on her face. “You’re awake.”
“Is this her?” Thaniel turned to him to ask.
“Yes, this is Tav. Tav, this is Thaniel,” he could barely choke the words out he was so excited to introduce them.
Halsin beamed as she knelt down to take Thaniel’s outstretched hand.
“The druid Halsin spoke to me while I slept. He told me how you fought shadows and risked your life to save us. You have my thanks.” Thaniel’s voice was soft and hoarse, still weak from his time in the Shadowfell.
“Happy to help.” Tav smiled as she patted his hand.
“But there is one final task to be done. One final anchor that holds the curse to these lands. For my land to heal, Ketheric Thorm must die.”
“I understand,” she whispered back to him.
“I remember your face.” Thaniel’s other hand reached up to touch Tav’s cheek. “I saw it here the day I was whisked away to the Shadowfell. You were running.”
She nodded back at him.
“Thank you for coming back.”
Tav smiled as Thaniel’s hands dropped back to his side.
“Get some rest, Thaniel. We’ll take it from here.” Tav brushed a few hairs from his forehead.
Halsin stood watching them, an overwhelming feeling of relief spreading throughout him. Seeing his two dear friends meet was more than he could have ever hoped to experience over the past century.
“You were right, Halsin,” Thaniel smiled up at him, “she is beautiful.”
His eyes went wide, and he immediately blushed at Thaniel’s words, even more so when he saw the way Tav bit down on her lips to keep from smirking.
“You’re too sweet, Thaniel.” Tav tapped his nose before standing back up.
“Yes, so sweet.” Halsin scolded him playfully through gritted teeth. Thaniel just grinned back at him with a smug twinkle in his eyes. Despite the teasing, he couldn’t help but feel thankful that Thaniel’s mischievous side had made it out of the Shadowfell unscathed.
Tav took his hand and ushered him back toward the fire. He turned to wave at Thaniel over his shoulder.
Everyone else was just waking for the day, taking sleepy strides toward the fire for their morning meal.
“Morning, soldier. What’s on the agenda today?” Karlach hopped up from her seat to greet them.
Tav looked back to his tent at Thaniel who had now been joined by Oliver. The two fey boys sat together playing a clapping game with their hands. The slow, owlish turn of her head as she faced them again revealed a darkened expression.
“We’re going to kill Ketheric Thorm.”
***
Tav had prepped her gear for the day, checking the tension in her bow, the clasps of her armor, her stock of potions. She went over everything twice, dragging her feet to keep her from her responsibilities this morning.
But Halsin was waiting for her when she emerged from her tent.
“Are you ready?” he asked, his voice low and solemn.
“I need to talk to Arabella before we do anything else,” she sighed.
“I’ll join you.”
Arabella was in her usual spot near Withers. Despite being in their camp for days, she still hadn’t exhausted her repertoire of questions. The sight threatened to break her resolve, she found herself not wanting to crush that curiosity today. How unlucky for her though that Halsin was there to make sure she saw it through.
“Hey, you,” Arabella greeted them in a cheery voice. “I don’t s’pose you found anything out about mum and pops, did you?”
Tav knelt down to her level. Dread maintained its clawed grip in her chest.
“Arabella,” she sighed, placing a hand on her shoulder, “there’s no easy way to say this, love. We found your parents, but they were already dead.”
“What?” Arabella’s smile faded away.
“I’m sorry, little one,” Halsin said from behind Tav.
“I…I don’t believe you.” She took a step back, causing her tail to curl loosely around her leg and Tav’s hand to drop.
Tav tried to reach out for her, but she stepped away again.
“No!” she sobbed. “Get away from me, go!”
“Arabella, I’m so–”
“LEAVE ME ALONE!” Arabella cut her off to scream before running away to the other side of the camp.
Tav’s shoulders slumped forward as she ran away. She wanted to chase after her, to tell her that everything would be okay in the end. Arabella had already endured so much, Tav hated to be the one to deliver even more ill tidings. She leaned onto Halsin’s arm as soon as he knelt next to her.
“So much death in these few days. Tev, Arabella’s parents, so many refugees and Harpers…” Tav was still preoccupied watching Arabella from across camp. She had curled into a ball, still sobbing into her knees pulled tight against her chest. Any attempt to go comfort her had been unsuccessful, but Karlach had at least managed to leave a small bowl of food next to her.
Eventually, Scratch made his way over to her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and cried into his fur, snuggling up against him in the dirt.
“It has been a difficult start to our time here, yes,” Halsin agreed, “but remember there has also been life flourishing even among the darkness.”
“I suppose.”
“Everyone at Last Light is alive because of you, my friend. You were able to save many of them from a terrible fate at Moonrise, you’ve given Arabella a safe place to stay, and you helped me bring Thaniel back.”
Tav wiped away the tears spilling down her cheeks.
“I do not know how many times I’ll have to say this, but it bears repeating until the sentiment sticks.” Halsin took both of her hands in his. “You are far too hard on yourself, Tav. Despite the incredible feats you’ve accomplished in such a short time you still don’t think you’ve done enough. I know there is still a long fight ahead of us, but do not downplay what you have achieved thus far.”
“You…you said ‘us’ just now,” she whispered.
“Of course,” he smiled back at her, “this is our fight, Tav. I promised you my aid, and you shall have it.”
“Then I guess we should get moving,” she sighed.
Halsin helped her to her feet, keeping a gentle hold on one of her hands as they walked out of camp.
The party started their day at Last Light Inn, checking in with the forces there for any potential updates.
Tav and Halsin informed Jaheira of their success with Thaniel as well as their intention to go to the mausoleum next. She let them know that the forces at Moonrise had been strangely quiet. They were no longer venturing out into the shadows, instead gathering their numbers at the towers.
Karlach and Wyll took on the unfortunate task of letting the other tieflings know of Komira and Locke’s fates. Arabella was still unwilling to talk with her this morning before they left, but she also didn’t seem willing to leave their camp.
Everyone else milled around the inn, trading and conversing with the others sheltering there. The Harpers and tieflings were generous enough to provide them with additional supplies for the upcoming fights. Special arrows, potions, and scrolls to get them through the next few days.
“Ah, there you are, I was wondering when you might make your way back here.” Tav heard a familiar voice call out to her.
She turned around to see Barcus Wroot standing behind her, a small package held in front of him.
“As promised, a small token of my appreciation for your efforts.” He held it out to Tav, who took it graciously.
“That’s kind of you Barcus, thank you. Something tells me we’ll need all the help we can get.”
She opened the small box to see a…bomb? There was also a small pile of gold.
“I call it the Brilliant Retort! A rather powerful explosive that would be sure to change the tide in any battle.”
She smiled back at him, but his face was distant.
“Is everything alright, Barcus? I thought you’d be happier now that Wulbren is back.”
“Ah, yes, well…” Barcus cleared his throat. “I’m afraid Wulbren isn’t much for speaking at this moment. Perhaps once we reach Baldur’s Gate, he’ll feel more inclined.”
“He won’t even speak with you? After you’ve travelled halfway across the godsdamned continent to find him? After you were enslaved in the Underdark on the way?!” Tav heard her voice rising.
She glanced around the inn, trying to catch a glimpse of him so she could give him a piece of her mind.
“Oh, it’s just Wulbren being well…Wulbren. He has been through a lot, after all. I’m sure everything will work itself out in the end.”
Unsuccessful in her search, Tav pursed her lips. “You know where to find me if it doesn’t.”
“That I do,” Barcus nodded, “I’m sure you’ll have the path forward cleared soon enough. I’ll wait here with the others for your next bout of heroics to come to an end.”
“Thank you, Barcus, for this.” Tav held up the small package before stashing it away as the rest of their adventuring party joined them. “We’ll talk soon.”
He turned to slink away, his shoulders slumped and his feet dragging across the floor.
“Alright, soldier, ready to get this show on the road?” Karlach bopped up next to her, slinging an arm around her shoulders.
“As I’ll ever be.”
***
Halsin shuddered as they made their way past the House of Healing. In this area of town, the shadows were especially dark and hungry. Despite the pixie blessing keeping them at bay, he could feel how they longed to seep into his very soul, to drag him down into the abyss with them.
Bones and armor littered the ground around them. Graves half-dug and empty lined every small plot of land. The bodies meant to fill them were likely among the scattered piles of bones, abandoned once that terrible darkness sprung forth from the tomb nearby.
The pathway leading up to the crypt was still familiar, even among the shadows. His last march here all those years ago came to the front of his mind. Members of Harpers and the Emerald Enclave working together to lay Ketheric Thorm to rest, to forever remove his blight from the world.
Halsin approached the opening to the mausoleum, his feet feeling heavier with each step. All along the outside were remnants of runes and glyphs, all meant to keep Thorm sealed away.
The door to the mausoleum had been obliterated when the curse was unleashed. The iron gates magically locked, bound by powerful rituals and spells to keep the entire resting place of the Thorm family isolated from the world. Seeing their state now, Halsin realized just how futile their attempt had been. The rungs of the gates were warped and twisted, poking out in every direction leaving a gaping hole in the entryway.
He ran his fingers along the rocky cliffside. They caught on the grooves that had been carved by him and his mentor. When he closed his eyes, he could still feel the approving pat on the shoulder he had given Halsin when he finished etching his piece of the sigil.
Tav stood nearby, studying a few Harper runes.
“Hard to believe these are still here,” she mused. “Especially with what little good they did.”
“I remember carving them, feeling satisfied. We were already mourning of course, so many lives had been lost before making our way here.” Halsin paused to take a deep breath. “But there was at least a happiness of knowing we had succeeded. That the remaining Dark Justiciars were being fought back as we sealed Ketheric Thorm away for good.”
“Yes, that’s unfortunately where my squad was fighting. I suppose the lucky part was that we were further from the strongest of the shadows.” She shuddered at the memory.
“Master Alwin fell quickly,” he said softly. “I had to…”
Halsin saw the understanding look in Tav’s eyes even through his tear-blurred vision.
“I had to cut down his corpse.”
He sighed as he felt Tav’s fingers intertwine with his own.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered back. “I don’t wish that on anyone.”
“This small area looks like a battlefield in its own right,” Wyll remarked as he studied the piles of bones and rusted armor around them.
“It was of sorts.” Halsin turned to face him, drying his eyes in the process. “The curse sprang forth from the mausoleum, decimating everything in its path. Those of us that survived the initial wave did so out of sheer luck.”
Gale whistled as he inspected the mangled iron gate. “If the state of that entryway is any indicator–”
A sudden smell of sulfur in the air caused them all to freeze.
“Our hero thought but of treasure ahead, did not consider the peace of the dead…”
The sound of weapons unsheathing echoed in the air at the unexpected intrusion. They whipped around to see Raphael standing behind them.
“Through the dark she went creeping, and awoke what was sleeping.”
“A warning? Oh, Raphael, don’t tell me you’re worried about us,” Tav shot back with a sweet smile.
“Merely protecting my assets, my dear,” he assured her with a shallow bow. “I will admit I’ve grown quite fond of you, in my own way. I thought it would be only fair to warn you about the dangers ahead.”
“Oh? And what would be the cost of this warning? Or are you just feeling particularly altruistic today?”
“No cost, just a simple proposition between friends. You help me…” Raphael turned his attention to Astarion.
“I help you.”
#oops I forgot to post this here when I published on ao3 sorry y'all#it just means you'll get the next chapter real fast!#bg3#bg3 fanfiction#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate iii#halsin x tav#bg3 halsin#halsin fanfic#halsin silverbough#oakflower
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Hello again, I'm back with another request though I'm not entirely sure if it counts as an emergency request or not. I'm one of the people who has a request from your notes goal post though and would be happy to DM you if needed though so please just let me know. I have a friend that I've talked to almost every day for years but we also fight a lot. Usually we're able to move past things and talk through them but it also often feels as though I have to comfort him, no matter who's actually at fault (for example, he does something rude to me but when I bring it up he completely spirals and I have to console him) and it was growing tiring so I began to put less effort into our friendship. In truth it feels like we just don't talk as much unless I'm the one bringing something to the table. Lately we've just been fighting more and more until finally he crossed a line and did something that really hurt me. When I brought it up he said he knew it was wrong but also laughed it off with an "apology" (I say "apology" because he was literally laughing while saying sorry) as though it wasn't a big deal. I tried to move on but everything just feels different now, like this isn't just something that can be laughed off. Part of me knows I need to just move on, but it's hard to just drop a friendship when you've spoken with them very day for years, almost like I'm addicted to a person. If possible could you please do something with Ace helping the reader realize the friendship they're in is toxic when they get hurt again after making excuses for the friend for so long, and helping support them through learning to move on? The dynamic between reader and Ace can be romantic or platonic and reader can be gender neutral as I want fics that can help me to also help as many others as possible!
Thank you
- 🌿
I'm so, so, so x1000 sorry this is soooo late!!!!! I finally got my stress down to a manageable level where I can write again. But I still wish it hadn't taken me so long 😭.
Warnings: toxic friendships, GN!Reader, GN!friend, relationship not established (up to interpretation)
Word Count: 1400
Leaning against the ship’s railing, you stared out at the ocean. Staring out at the ocean was the best part of living on a ship sometimes. The cool ocean breeze, the fresh air, the endless expanse of water stretching out in front of you, the warm sun on your skin. So calming and soothing… and yet, in a sense, it was also why you were so troubled right now. Your best friend was mad at you again. You’d been friends since well before you’d set out to sea, back before you met Ace and joined him on the waters. Even back then, the two of you fought often, sometimes nothing more than petty arguments, sometimes as big as screaming at each other. Back then, your fights were different, yet the outcome was still the same. You would fight, get angry, shout, and then suddenly you’d find yourself trying to comfort them. Giving them a shoulder to cry on, a warm hug and a soft blanket, comforting words and apologies. It didn’t matter who started it, didn’t matter whose fault it was, you always ended up comforting them.
The fight this time had been like a lot of yours since you’d started sailing. They wanted you to come back home. “It’s dangerous”, “Aren’t we friends?”, “Is Ace and his crew all you care about?”, “don’t you know what you’re doing? What you are now?”. You understood it was dangerous out here and you understood you were a pirate now, but you loved it out here, loved the sun and the water, loved the people that had become your family. That never seemed to matter to them though. All that seemed to matter was their happiness.
You’d slammed the den den mushi down rather hard in your anger, accidentally startling the poor mollusk. Thankfully, you’d only slammed the microphone down, so at least it hadn’t been hurt in your anger, but you still felt bad for scaring the creature. The snail’s frightened eyes had immediately pulled you out of your anger, making you feel guilty and quickly running to get it a snack to cheer it up. Another being that you had to cheer up after your fight with your friend.
You nearly jumped out of your skin as you felt a hand on your shoulder, spinning around to see a familiar freckled face looking at you in concern.
“Hey, you okay? You seemed pretty distracted.” Ace said, his brow furrowed as you put a hand over your heart, trying to calm yourself down.
“I… yeah, I’m okay. Just… just thinking.” you muttered, turning back to look out at the water, “Staring out at the ocean helps me calm down and think.”
“What’s got you so wound up that you need to calm down to think?” Ace asked, leaning with his back to the railing, looking over at you.
“It’s… it’s…” your hands clenched into fights as you struggled to get the words out. They were your friend, you shouldn’t say anything mean or bad about them, right? You shouldn’t talk about them behind their back like this, right?
“It’s f/n, isn’t it? Thatch said he heard you shouting in your room and earlier you said you were going to call them today.” Ace said, giving you a sympathetic look. You couldn’t help but hang your head, unable to look him in the eye.
“We… got into another fight.” you muttered, your voice barely audible.
“You always do. And in another hour or two you’ll call them back to try and work things out. Then they’ll start blubbering and make you feel terrible, then you’ll have to comfort them, and it’ll end with you apologizing and them ‘apologizing’ and you’ll both say ‘bye, talk to you later’.” Ace said, rolling his eyes. You looked up at him, your brow furrowed slightly.
“I… that’s… that’s not true. I…”
“It is true and you know it. Hell, you know it, I know it, Marco knows it, fuck, even Stefan knows this! This happens every time. You fight, you get angry, you calm down, you talk, they act like the victim, you make them feel better, and you part.” Ace said a little roughly. You flinched slightly as you looked away. Had you really done this so many times that Ace knew how things would go? Were they really so bad that you were so predictable? “The one time things didn’t go like this, you were so hurt that you barely said a word for a week! Fuck, did they ever even apologize for that? And not some bullshit apology like ‘oh gee, I’m sorry, that’s my bad, ha ha ha.’” Ace said mockingly, giving a rather bad impersonation of your friend while giving the dumbest face. You couldn’t stop the small smile on your face at his impression, finding it amusing how stupid Ace was making your friend sound.
“They… they uh… they apologized… Sort of. I mean, they did sort of laugh it off, but they sounded sort of apologetic. And I mean, they-” “No!” your eyes widened as Ace cut you off.
“No, that’s not an apology. Not ‘sort of laughed it off’, not ‘sort of apologetic’. Either they apologized or they half-assed things to make you think they apologized so you wouldn’t leave. You don’t ‘sort of’ apologize after hurting someone like that.” Ace said sternly, giving you a hard look.
“No, it’s fine, really. I’m… I’m sure that they meant it a-” “Stop!” Ace had pushed himself away from the railing this time.
“Stop defending them, stop making excuses, stop… this! They’re manipulating you so that you won’t leave them. They’re making you feel guilty so that you feel like you need to apologize. That way, when you ‘work things out’, they don’t actually have to try and do better. They’re making themselves out to be the victim so that you think they’re a good friend to stay by your side. You don’t need them! No, you know what, you don’t just not need them, you need to stay away from them! I tried to keep my damn mouth shut, but I can’t watch this ship wreck any longer! Y/n, you’re one of the people I care about most in the world. You’re important to me, so please, believe me when I say that you need to cut your ‘friend’ off like a diseased hand!” Ace said, grabbing your shoulders roughly as he stared into your eyes.
For a moment, all you could do was stand there and stare at him. Part of you knew he had a point. Your friend was being terrible to you, but part of you couldn’t face that, couldn’t admit that the person who had been your friend for so long was treating you so terribly. You couldn’t just cut them off like that! They’d never talk to you again! Seeing the conflicted look in your eyes, Ace sighed.
“Listen, I know it’s hard to believe, but I swear, I’m not lying. They’re a piece of shit. If you don’t believe me, ask the others. Marco, Izou, Pops, and Vista all know what’s been going on, ask any of them, they’ll agree with me. Hell, explain things to the others and they’ll probably agree with me too!” Ace offered, a slightly desperate look in his eyes. He needed you to see what was happening, needed you to finally realize that you didn’t need your so-called ‘friend’. You could feel yourself start to tremble as you tried to swallow the lump in your throat. He was right, you knew he was right, but facing that, admitting that, had you feeling like you would crumble. In an instant, Ace had his arms wrapped around you, pulling you into a tight hug.
“Come on, you’ve been the comforter for long enough, you need to be the comfortee this time.” Ace said softly, making you chuckle slightly at his word choice.
“The comfortee?” you asked with a small laugh, wrapping your arms around him, allowing him to comfort you.
“Yes, the comfortee. You know, the person being comforted, like carrier and carried. I’m the comforter and you’re the comforteed.” He reasoned, making you start laughing.
“Alright, I’ll be the comfortee this time.” you said, relaxing in his hold. Maybe he had a point, maybe you needed to remove your ‘friend’ from your life… and maybe you needed to be the ‘comfortee’ for once.
#one piece#one piece ace#fire fist ace#portgas d ace#ace x reader#fire fist ace x reader#portgas d ace x reader#op ace#gn!reader
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Hi! I'm sorry to do this over Anon instead of engaging with your poll properly, but unfortunately I am crippling shy. Regardless, I love your fics, so I wanted to interact. I sincerely hope its not overstepping, and I apologise if it is because I know how presumptuous it sounds and I recognise I have no right to expect it and would never assume so, but personally I want to suggest an option that isn't even presented in the poll. I would love it if you would leave the current version of In Hell up, and post any rewritten or revamped version as a separate work, even if you changed or swapped the names to clarify that the current version was an old WIP version.
I completely understand how things have changed since you began writing it, and it will always be your choice and your perogative what you do and where you go with the series, but I love the current In Hell and all of its branching storylines. And while I'm excited to see any new directions it could go in, I feel like I would mourn it if the version I've come to love disappeared. I would miss it. AO3 is an Archive, and I would love it if you would consider leaving it up as an archived, older version of your work, even if it would no longer be considered going forward as the 'true' timeline of your story.
I understand that you probably view your own writing differently now, and I'm so glad you have found fresh inspiration. I'm glad your ideas have evolved and I'm greatful for everything you've shared and everything you will share in the future. It's a privilege to be able to enjoy your stories, and it would be a privilege to continue reliving them. They've brought me so much enjoyment and nostalgia, and as cliché as it sounds, I think experiencing your writing really did help me grow and understand myself better as a person through a medium I cherished throughout all of my formative years. Your stories are some of my all time favourites.
I'm also sorry if this sounds clinical, I have a hard time finding the right words, and I struggle to convey my meanings in a way that doesn't sound outright brazen. I'm so so aware that every chapter you've ever uploaded has been a gift. It doesn't feel right making requests, but I didn't see the harm in suggesting it in case it's an option you may find appropriate to consider. I really am grateful to you, no matter the outcome. Thank you for sharing your writing, I appreciate all of the time, attention, thought and effort you put into your very clear labours of love. <3
First, thank you. It sounds like you’ve dedicated a lot of time to reading my works, and I’m beyond appreciative that you’ve been impacted so thoroughly. Anonymous or not, your opinion matters. Please, don’t ever hesitate to send me a message. I do my best to respond to everything, but my busy schedule sometimes causes delays. Rest assured, I will always get back to you eventually. Secondly, I have a rather long response incoming, and I want to assure you that none of what I say is personal. This is just me explaining my thought process.
I’ve thought about your suggestion for a while, and while I’m not entirely opposed to leaving the work up, I feel very strongly compelled not to. My goal is to finish the universes/fics I’ve started and then to move on to original work. What I leave behind here is something of a “legacy” to me. I can think of at least two fanfics that I’ve read over the years that really impacted me, and I wanted to be that for someone else. Naruto has always meant a lot to me, and so much of Naruto’s plot and the characters were handled poorly in canon. I’ve always done my best to do things accurately, but going through these fics years later, I realize I haven’t always done that.
Unfortunately, the beginning of In Hell (formerly The Second Path: Hell) is something I really can’t bear to look at. I know I’ve deleted probably far too many works as is for the same reason, but for it to even be there mentally impedes my progress, if that makes sense. As a perfectionist, it’s hard—if not impossible—for me to let it sit there. I have a certain story to tell, and I want it told in the way I envision. The old version/TSP works against what I want from In Hell. The point of deleting it/replacing it is so that there would be no room for comparison or talk of "alternative timelines". The new version would be my canon/standalone version of Itachi's/the reader's story.
In general, these stories have been ongoing through too many different phases of my writing, making it difficult to find my new voice. Most were started from 2018-2021. The knowledge that people can sit there and crack open something I think is subpar is anxiety-inducing. Sometimes, I look at it all and see no improvement—sometimes, I even feel the quality is decreasing.
I’m not over-exaggerating when I say I put my everything into my writing. I do all of this as a completely solo parent while I’m in school working multiple jobs. I research for hours on the smallest of things. I cry, I re-watch, re-read, rethink, rewrite. I study the characters and the universe I’m in/creating. I study literature, grammar… I read through dictionaries and thesauruses to find the perfect word to encapsulate what I feel, see, or think. I have to sit in those thoughts and emotions for a while to properly communicate what’s happening. Exsolutus has two separate suicide scenes, for example. Another example is the rewrite of Shisui’s death. I had several passings of people who were close to me in a short time-period right before and as I was writing it. I have to live in those moments to conceptualize them. I'm glad my labors of love reach you. That's one of the biggest reasons I still try.
As most of you know by now, I write triggering content, and sometimes darker content that people might find offensive. I find myself asking: was that too far? Did I trigger too many people? I try to put things in the tags and authors’ notes, but do people even read authors’ notes? Was my grammar that bad? Is Itachi/Obito/Shisui/Sasuke too OOC? Is the reader too OOC? Was it too short, too long? If I don’t hear from anyone, I feel like what I’ve posted was hot garbage. I know I’m not alone in this, but lately it feels like I’ve been talking to (and posting to) the void, lol. I put weeks of work into the Sasuke fic, and I burned for some type of feedback. I didn’t get any until almost three weeks later… today. I’m very grateful for it, but with everything I put into that chapter, I was aching for anything. A good word, a bad word. I have to admit that this has me a bit discouraged, which may influence my current feelings of wanting TSP gone. I understand our fandom is dying but I put so much into everything I write that I take the lack of feedback to heart now. I never used to care; I honestly used to write because I had a story to tell and didn’t worry much about show vs. tell, foreshadowing, or any of that. But now that I put more nuance into what I write, I guess I take it more personally.
Maybe I never had to worry about receiving feedback because the fandom was more active then. Maybe all of my more recent studying has made me look at my writing with an excessively critical eye. I'm not sure, but I've been experiencing this for a number of years. It was part of why I quit before, and I suppose those feelings are still lingering around. Feeling out of practice worsens this. It’s painful to look back and dislike what I’ve written, especially when writing again still feels strange. In my eyes, why keep it up when it’s impeding me from moving forward?
I’ll genuinely consider your suggestion further, as I haven’t made a decision yet. Thank you again for speaking up; I wouldn’t have even thought of it myself. I would never have known people felt that way without you saying anything. Over the next week, I’ll take the time to consider this third option and will let you all know when I decide how to proceed. In the meantime, there is always the option to download the fic for your own safekeeping. Thank you all for staying with me and being so understanding. We’ll get through these fics, I swear it. I love you all.
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hey author! really liking WSC. I was wondering how did you get into itzy? there doesn't seem to be a lot of midzy writers, we need more like you!
hi anon! glad you're enjoying wsc :)
tbh i got into itzy sort of by chance/randomly? bit of a long/weird story lol...
i've listened to kpop on and off for a long time but never really Got Into It in a stan way (when i was in college i definitely had (and still have) a ton of blackpink on my gym playlist, and i always really liked mamamoo, but i wasn't really paying attention to kpop culture at all or any content beyond the music itself). probably the closest i ever got was bigbang, and that was only because of my massive crush on taeyang :P
i'm in the last year of my phd program right now (if i'm able to finish my dissertation by the end of june, i'll defend and graduate in july! dr. link!!), and from what i saw in my time in grad school i knew the last year basically drove every phd student completely insane.
instead of trying to curb that insanity by becoming a mildly functional alcoholic or smoking too much weed i basically decided i'd funnel that insanity into FINALLY trying to understand kpop beyond casually listening to it, like understand the culture and the standom and the whole thing.
i knew i needed to pick a group to stan in order to do that, and i didn't want it to be blackpink even though i like them, since they release music so rarely (lol). so i was like ok you know what i haven't really listened to any kpop after 3rd gen. lemme see what 4th gen has to offer!
none of the 4th gen boy groups really caught my interest in a serious way (though i do really like some songs by stray kids and enhypen), so i turned to 4th gen gg. and like. holy shit 4th gen is literally the girl group golden age???
i was sort of listening around to some of the different 4th gen gg and really enjoying them, trying to find the right one for me, and then itzy's none of my business mv came up on my recommended on youtube, and i'd seen their name around. i clicked and...well. i was hooked.
i watched a bunch of the classic mvs (dalla dalla, wannabe, mafia), that one clip of lia singing can't take my eyes off of you, and like one compilation of OT5 being silly and chaotic. after that it was game over, i knew i'd found my group.
(and also i kinda love an underdog story; i think itzy's supposed "fall off" has been greatly exaggerated and with the overhaul of div 2 employees (...hopefully the marketing team) i am curious to see if they can recapture the 4th gen gg crown)
i wasn't at all expecting to write fic, tbh, especially not for a kpop group! i've actually never done it before, except maybe once when i was 13 and then immediately regretted it because i was bad at it lol. but in one of the most stressful years of my life, it became a really nice creative outlet for me, especially because i don't really have anyone irl to talk to when it comes to kpop and itzy.
in general, i've found midzys to be such a warm, welcoming group, at least here on tumblr and in the comment section on AO3 (i try to stay off twitter as much as possible).
and i didn't realize initially when i first stanned itzy, but turns out the whole jyp fam is really awesome! obviously the company has its issues, like any kpop company, but in general the jyp Vibes are really fun, and i've enjoyed listening more and learning about twice, skz, nmixx, etc.!
since my original goal (i guess?) was to understand the world of kpop, itzy ended up being the perfect group because, well. they have done almost every sub-genre of kpop at some point. they really can do it all! and as a group they've been on top, they've had their name raked through the mud, they've had a member on hiatus (...literally announced right after i decided to stan, RIP), been in a big transition period...
yeah man idk. it's been so interesting and fun to follow their journey, learn a lot about the kpop machine, do some really fun creative writing, give in to the insanity of being a stan, and listen to some really great music along the way. :)
anyway that's how we got here! sorry for the long-winded answer hahaha i guess i could've just said "last year of my phd program, went insane, instead of becoming addicted to drugs or alcohol i decided to become a kpop addict and my drug of choice is itzy" :P
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OH NOO im wishing you luck!! We r stressing in solidarity over applications. Im just finishing up my application for a vet technician program. Very exciting, very nerve wrecking hehehe
I hope you get some rest soon!! Sending you many warm hugs and tea<333
I've been a bit all over the place, work has been CRAZY lately but!! I have the next two weeks off and I'm flying out to visit my partner and then we're spending x-mas at my dad's together so i am!!! Very very excited:D it's been since may since I've seen her, so this will be super nice
And YASSSS👏👏👏 they are still my life. Tho the actual show is kinda on thin ice w me rn BUT THAT'S FINE I HAVE FICS IF THE SECOND HALF OF THE SEASON SUCKS 😭😭😭 (it's currently the mid season break which means no more firefighters till March, which has been honestly helpful for me, I kinda needed a break bc it was stressing me out dhfjfkkdd. That being said, I've been rewatching old eps with my friend who's watching for the first time lmaoooo. We actually just watched my fav ep today i am!!!!!!:DDDD)
Speaking of fics, I completed every day of whumptober this year!! Im actually so proud of myself omfg, I've never been able to do that before. It completely ruined my sleep schedule though dhfkdkd. But !!! My friend made up a thing for me called "moresleepvember" and so I had a goal of fixing my sleep schedule in November and it actually?? Worked?? I can sleep at 11 now and have it Not feel weird HDKFK
December's been a bit all over the place for my sleep schedule but I'm allowing it bc December is a weird month anyway with prepping for Christmas and stuff hehehe
But yeah!!! All in all, I've been pretty good:DDD
ohhhh a vet tech program that's so cool!!! I hope that goes well icy!!!
and ty ty today it was very chilly and cloudy so I was able to curl up under a blanket with some tea while I worked on my stuff it was very cozy
awwww getting to spend christmas with your partner sounds so nice!! especially since it's been so long since you've seen her! I hope you guys have a lovely time <33
MANIFESTING THE SECOND HALF OF THE SEASON DOESN'T SUCK (but you guys seem to have a very active fandom so I'm sure there's a lot of good fics over there. also omg rewatching a favorite show with a friend who is seeing it for the first time is so fun I hope you're having a great time)
oh that's such an achievement!! I've never even attempted whumptober in its entirety or anything before I have so much respect for you for that. but yes, keep your sleep schedule fixed, sleep is important. if it gets a little weird that's fine but I def recommend trying to get it back once things are less chaotic it's so nice having a normal sleep schedule
I'm glad things are going well for you!!!
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Weekly Update - 07/09/2023
There's a LOT to cover this week but it's all REALLY important so please read <3 (below the cut) ~
Announcements
~ Cruise ~
I'm going on a cruise from 07/15/2023-07/23/2023! I really shouldn't have, but my family peer pressured me into it and now I can't get my money back if I back out so I'm going anyway lol.
I paid extra to have WiFi in my cabin, however I don't know how good it will be. I refuse to pay the ridiculous amount of money to use the data on my phone out there. That being said, my online time will be limited.
If for any reason I cannot access my internet or have issues getting on Tumblr @whatthefishh will give you all an update letting you know. (She hasn't confirmed this with me yet but I assume she will lol)
I'm going to be trying to get some works written ahead of time and scheduled to post while I'm away so it will be like I never left! (except I won't be able to respond much).
~ Masterlist ~
My masterlist is ALMOST complete. Once I'm done with it this time I will NOT be changing it again (unless my aesthetic changes but that will only be a cosmetic update). I'm happy with the way it's organized right now and I don't think it can get any better than it is personally lol. (I'm very proud of it please praise me)
~ FAQs ~
I'm working on an FAQs list to hopefully mitigate some of the repeat questions I get, or so I can just link them instead of having to respond to each individual question.
~ Thank You ~
The biggest thank you possible to those who sent in tips this week. I can't thank you enough. I added the tip thing without the expectation that people would actually use it so to have so many of you this week blew my mind. I love you, and I appreciate you more than you can know.
Disclaimer - I never know which way the winds of inspiration will blow. Timeframes aren't a promise/guarantee, they're a goal.
Fic Updates Legend:
Blue - should be posted this week
Pink - In progress actively (working on but will not be posted this week)
Red - Backburner Fic (will work on later. See WIP list for status)
Long/Chaptered Fics Updates
A Bit Dodgy - This fic is currently on hiatus. The plan is for it to return 07/31/2023. Things may change and if they do I'll let you all know! Thank you for bearing with me. More detailed explanation here.
Always Yours, Never Mine - Chapter 2 is coming right up! Just a couple scenes to add and it will be good to go. I'm thinking I'll be able to churn out one chapter a week but don't hold your breath please haha, things are getting really busy, but this fic is at the front of my mind right now for sure. - New chapter this week
The Fractured Moon - currently working on These Fractured Knights (TFM Bonus Chapters) 🫣😏 - Hoping to have the next chapter out this week. This has been moved to "longfics" since it will be at over 40k words upon completion. - New chapter this week
Mini-series Updates
Feeling You Can't Fight - New chapter coming out this week.
Not a Doctor - Part 2 coming soon - not for a while though.
Worth the Risk - taking a small step back from this for now. It’s not at the top of my inspiration list so I’m moving it down the line temporarily. - will work on a later date
The Good Doctors - idea by @burnincrown - Dr. Marc Spector - It's going to be a long time in the works, and it will probably replace TFM when that one is done. In development - Work on it a different week
Requests Updates
There are 4 ficlets left for my 1k follower celebration. Finally getting them done (I'm almost at 2k now lmao but won't be doing a celebration until a different milestone).
As a reminder, once these requests are finished, my requests will be closed for good. You can see the post explaining that here. Thank you again for the support and understanding!
Moon Boys X f!Reader by @simpforbritgents
Asking for something like Feeling Flustered where the moon boys are doing guided phone sex.
Marc Spector X f!Reader by @blueflowerhat
Marc shower sex based on AI prompt.
Nathan Bateman X f!Reader by @campingwiththecharmings
This is the prompt that hit me like a Nathan-shaped mac truck! -> “if you don’t like my teasing why are you moaning”
Nathan Bateman X f!Reader by Anon
Cam girl reader x Nathan - Nathan turns to a cam girl, he's been kinda stalking her. (Excited hehe)
That's all for now guys! I love you all and thank you so much for all the support you continue to give no matter what. You're amazing <3
#melody gates updates#moon knight#across the spiderverse#miguel o'hara#marc spector#jake lockley#steven grant#santiago garcia#triple frontier#ex machina#nathan bateman
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annual writing self-evaluation
thank you @pipergirl17 and @erythromanc3r for tagging me!
1. List of works published this year (in no particular order):
oh gosh, I've been busy-busy this year with fanfic, so here goes!
Complete works:
... And a Hellcheer New Year
Galentines and Valentines
Hold Onto Me
Devil in the Woods
Every Time I Run, I Run to You
Eddie and Chrissy Go to a Wedding
Knocking Me Out With Those American Thighs
Cooking Up Something Sweet
Please Don't Say You Love Me
Let Me Start Over Again
You Got Me Good
Be My Breath (Through the Deep, Deep Water)
This Old Man
Do You Wanna Touch Me
My Words Will Be Your Light
She'll See I'm Not So Tough
She Knows What She Wants
Give Me a Taste
The Right Kind of Sinner
Release My Inner Fantasy
Hooked on a Feeling
Whiskey & Wine
The Graveyard Smash
Long Is the Road Out of Hell
In a Sentimental Mood
Set My Soul On Fire
Burnin' Out of Control
WIPs:
Looking For Something Dumb To Do
I Can't Get Rid of You
If You Fall, I Will Catch You
2. Work you are most proud of (and why):
hmmmmm, that's a tough one! I love them all for different reasons, but I will say I'm very proud of Long Is the Road Out of Hell because it's my longest fanfic to date (almost 60k!) and at one point I really wasn't sure if I'd be able to finish it. but I did!
3. Work you are least proud of (and why):
tbh if I'm not proud of something, I won't publish it. but I think the work that frustrated me the most was Whiskey & Wine, my kinktober fic. I pushed myself too hard with too big of a goal and burnt myself out halfway through. but I did learn the importance of setting boundaries for myself (and why I need to be careful committing to challenges 😅)
4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:
not gonna lie, once I publish something, the words tend to leave my brain, so I don't always remember what I write lol. I should probably keep a doc of good lines from my fics so I have something to present when people ask me 😂 but here are two excerpts that I'm pretty proud of.
Devil in the Woods: He had loved her since the first time he opened his eyes to find her snuggled up on his chest. He had loved her longer, since the moment he’d held her in his arms on that endlessly rainy night. And longer still, he’d loved the little girl who played jacks with him on May Day and laughed at his wild antics.
Hooked on a Feeling: He knew he could be… a lot, as kinder people said. A goddamn nuisance, according to everyone else. He didn’t mean to be, he just tended to… latch on to things. Kind of like a bulldog (but in a nice and lovable way, thank you, Jeff). And right now he had ChrissyChrissyChrissy clamped tight between his jaws, and he hoped to god she didn’t ask him to let go.
5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:
I have a few regular commenters who give me the longest, loveliest comments where they literally analyze each chapter section by section 😭 it makes me feel so loved. but as for one individual comment, I distinctly remember a commenter from one of my early fics commenting on a really tough scene I did re: chrissy's eating disorder. they said that they also had an eating disorder, and that chapter was very healing for them. I don't think I'll ever get another comment as powerful as that.
6. A time when writing was really, really hard:
I go in and out of mild anxious/depressive episodes, mostly due to outside stressors, and that makes it really hard to write. writing is the one constant joy in my life, and when I don't even feel like doing that, I know something is very, very wrong. but luckily, they don't usually last too long!
7. A scene or character that you wrote that surprised you:
mike's redemption arc in Long Is the Road! that one was a total curveball to me, and it only came about because it was the closest place I could think of to have Chrissy walk to after her mom kicked her out. total accident, but it spawned on of my favorite sibling-ships for chrissy that I've ever written!
also writing wayne's pov! i never intended to do that, but once I started, his voice just kind of stuck in my head 😂
8. How did you grow as a writer this year:
I wrote a lot. like over 300k of fanfic. and i even got back into writing some original fiction, which I'm so excited about!
I also started writing smut for the first time in 2023, which was something I never anticipated doing, let alone enjoying! but it's been super fun
9. How do you hope to grow next year:
I'd like to work more on my original fiction, maybe get a short story published. I'd also like to get better at world-building! I tend to get so focused on the characters that I forget they exist in a place I should spend some time creating lol
10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):
@slumped-in-the-arms-of-fiction all the way! she's been such a wonderful beta reader, cheerleader, and overall positive influence on my writing. I Can't Get Rid of You wouldn't ever have happened without her support and feedback!
11. Anything in your real life show up in your writing this year:
ooh, buddy! pieces of myself get sprinkled all over the damn place 😂 but as for specifics...
Galentines and Valentines opening scene was reminiscent of the girls' nights me and my college friends used to have (and still have sometimes)
Hooked on a Feeling had elements of my own past experiences of being laid up in a hospital (and being very annoyed about it)
This Old Man was absolutely inspired by my love of Columbo
You Got Me Good definitely included some of my own thoughts and feelings about when I get a little too high 😂
12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:
give your writing time.
it's so tempting when you have a new idea to jump on it and then get frustrated when it doesn't immediately turn out the way you want, but I've found that if I give myself time to think over a piece before I write it, and let it sit for a little while after I write it, I'm much happier with the end results!
13. Any new projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:
finishing my three WIPs! and hopefully a little christmas fic 😂 I don't have anything else immediately in the works, thank god!
14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read:
@1lostsoul0fishbowl @pearlypairings @rose-n-gunses and anybody else!!!
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