#sigh. my job is so hard :( | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

girlishwhimsies · 2 days ago

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thinking about the economic divide in the outsiders again. sigh.

#god the social divide is bad but it all links back to the economics #the the cycle of poverty all of the greasers get stuck in #they drop out cause they aren’t getting help and take the jobs they are able to get cause it’s that or nothing #stuck at jobs they can’t advance in cause they didn’t get to graduate or go to college #and their parents are broke so they couldn’t afford it anyway and they need them to work to support the family #and around and around it goes again #i can relate this to every single character #this isn’t even mentioning the way poc are affected by this cycle #two bit comes to mind a lot esp with his alcoholism and absent dad #he had to step up as the man of the house ever since he was young (in my canon) and so he had to stay in that cycle #there wasn’t a way for him to get out when everything is keeping him here and he has to support his family #sigh. this isn’t even half of my thoughts but i’ve been yapping hard #just the cycle of poverty they get stuck in. it’s everything #the outsiders broadway #the outsiders musical #the outsiders #sodapop curtis #darry curtis #ponyboy curtis #johnny cade #twobit mathews #two bit mathews #steve randle #the outsiders ace #ace outsiders #ace

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rexscanonwife · 2 months ago

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Me after this shift

#jane journals #vent #negative #sigh....it feels like every day SUCKS lately and i never wanna come to work #which also sucks cause i DO like my job!!!#working in a coffee place can be really nice but GOOD GOD HAS IT BEEN HARD LATELY!!!!!!#ITS BEEN SO BUSY FOR NO REASON #IT WAS JUST ME AND MY BOSS TODAY AND ANOTHER NONSTOP FOUR HOUR RUSH #WE GOT UTTERLY THRASHED AND IT WASNT FUN

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forcebookish · 2 months ago

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i need a new strategy for like, cleaning my room and doing yoga and reading and leaving the house. the adhd has reached mythic levels of bad. i have the thought, "i should do X," and then i won't move. i make a to-do list and i won't do anything on it. i queue up a yoga practice and i won't do it. i stare at my room and get stressed out about how cluttered it is. i write 3000 words of notes for a fic i don't even know if i'm going to write. i think and i think and i think about my OCs and they won't let me write them. i spend hours looking at stuff i can't buy. i take like an hour to write this.

#rum.txt #i have to do something about my phone...........#i might be able to uninstall tumblr #i can't uninstall twitter because the stupid fucking thing turns off notifications when you do #so i wouldn't be able to catch up on the accs i have notifs on for #(a very small list of forcebook- and kaibaek-related accs)#i can't uninstall instagram because of forcebook again lol #i also use it for recipes sigh #but i might start just... leaving it in my room when i get up and see how that goes #i'd also have to try to not look at my phone first thing in the morning #i also have to start actually getting up in the morning #i think that's the main thing #ok maybe when i take my medication in the evening i start getting ready for bed #it'll take long enough that it'll probably still be late but reasonable late #and not like. almost 3 am like now #one of the problems with my room right now is that i have a lot of STUFF #and i'm afraid of getting rid of the STUFF #because the last time i got rid of a bunch of STUFF #(mostly clothes)#i totally regretted most of it and i'm still like ah shit i don't have that anymore? :(#but also i have a big bed that i just want OUT of there #and a huge wardrobe that unfortunately holds a lot of the STUFF #so i don't know where all the STUFF would go #and every job i apply to sucks #and every job i actually want is TERRIFYING in both its unattainability and the miniscule possibility of its improbable successful executio #so i'm like stressed out about a thing that hasn't happened to make something that hasn't happened that i'm also stressed out about #every possible scenario whether i want it or not feels like it could lead to a meltdown because everything is so god damn hard right now #AND I FEEL SO!!!!!! SMALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and the worst part is that i know all this is because my stupid fucking period is coming up #but just because my hormones are making me feel overwhelmed and melodramatic about everything doesn't make anything i've said untrue

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aro-carpenter · 2 months ago

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My god

#when the imposter in syndroming #its been like in the back of my mind for a while but now that ive officially got like appointments and have to actually do my job its uhhhhh #not great!#like what if i fuck it all up and actually give the worst advice anyone has ever given and make it worse instead of better and all my #critical thinking skills leave me the second i need them and it goes so bad that i fuck not only rhe opportunity but also someone elses #grade up irrevocably forever and ever #ugggghhhhhhhh the only way out is through and actually doing the damn thing but still #it could be better. it doesnt have to be like this #sigh. if onlt hiding under a rock only doing what feels good was a viable way to live. unfortunately if u want things to get better u have #to do hard things. they should invent a better way of doing this #ok i feel better now. ive just gotta remember that i am qualified to do this & have been trained specfically to do this task #and also that post-sundown me is an idiot and not to be trusted #original

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palms-upturned · 3 months ago

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#meg talks #just venting #im in so much pain it’s not even funny #im sorry for being inactive for so long i really was not anticipating this #the good news is ive made a lot of progress on compiling the spreadsheet for vetted gaza funds #so that once ive cleared out the dms i can add additional mods and get the ball rolling properly again #the bad news is that my insomnia is back and my pain is getting so bad i can barely get out of bed or eat #i don’t think it’s related to the fundraising work so much as… everything else -_-#i didn’t want to be out of a job for this long #and having to send so many applications and make so many fucking unhelpful phone calls a day to doctors and help centers…#idk. this isn’t me complaining abt the fundraiser work if anything it’s the only rewarding thing im doing rn #but im frustrated w myself and with my body and with. everything #it’s not just my own family relying on me anymore #and that makes it hard to deal with all this. like i could be using my time and energy way better than this.#but instead im playing phone tag to try and prove that im disabled and need to feed my brothers.#im just cjdhxgxjcncj sigh. whatever if i can just get over this hump then the rest will be downhill #and my friend is going to help me w cooking this weekend so that me and my bros can eat better #so hopefully that will give me a boost too #idr where i was going w this. probably nowhere jdgdjdnxnc im just miserable rn bc i can’t sleep and my leg hurts

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tittyinfinity · 3 months ago

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No seroquel means no sleep for me I guess. I've been trying for hours

#decided if im gonna be awake i may as well do something other than wallow in thoughts that cause me anxiety #just super fucked up that i went from believing i could no longer feel romantic attraction #to suddenly being flooded with feelings #and like he didn't even confess romantic feelings for me he just said hed be down to fuck sometime #usually id just be like yeah that's fine i don't usually catch feelings #so it's fucking me up that im having romantic feelings towards someone who probably doesnt feel that way #and it's fucking me up that i caught feelings from being TOLD he'd like to fuck we haven't even done that #sigh i can't pretend like those feelings weren't already there and just extremely repressed....#kept having so many dreams about being in love w him... I'd do everything i could to shake the feeling off #it comes down to insecurities #feeling like i make too many mistakes to be with someone as good as him #the fear that I'll stress him out #one of the most amazing people I've ever met. he has respected my boundaries for years #and i guess those boundaries were only firmly in place bc i knew deep down it would spark something #honestly i felt a huge spark hours before he even told me #whenever he came up behind me and hugged me on the neck #his lips accidentally brushed against my neck and i swooned #we haven't talked since that night but he said he wants to have a conversation about it when he's not busy #he has two jobs #his 2nd one lasting til 1am #but yeah thinking about what he might say is making me nervous #like what if he suddenly decides that it IS too risky #i don't think ill be able to kick these feelings #at least i let him know head on that i might fall in love w him if we pursue anything else #but we haven't even pursued shit!! and i feel this way already!!#i guess not ''in love'' but the crush is hard-fucking-core #the kind of crush i havent had since meeting my ex 7 years ago...#i forgot what the feeling was like. and it's.... so strong #.bdo

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bovinomicon · 9 months ago

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if i ever get a better pc, and if i ever have the patience to fuck around with the sims 4 and building (i love the sims 4 for how it looks and how easy it is to story-tell but gughguhugh at the gameplay) i wanna remake oasis springs and strangerville for the sims 2 psp and move my lil story there. or hell i'll just do it in the sims 3

#so hard to do what i want in sims 2 bc im not skilled enough... sigh #anyway ugh last day at bad stinky job today woo #boo for being unemployed and on welfare again but woo to my sanity #heidi talks

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fruutbaag · 24 days ago

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i barely feel like a person sometimes ngl

#like in the sense that. im barely Here i hardly ever feel really Present in the world #i hardly talk to people unless im talked to and even Then sometimes its a dry ass response because im shit at talking #even if i love someones presence its hard for me to like. actually show it i think #i dont have a Job #i dont Go anywhere really #i hardly have irl friends #like i feel like im starting to get to a dangerous place with this mentality #that i barely Exist #i am a whole nothing sandwich of a person #its not fucking healthy!!! i know its not healthy!!!!!!#but i cant help thinking it because. well its kinda true #i really need to get a job and get out of the house and talk to people face to face #so i feel like a person whos part of the world again #maybe id feel less of a disconnect between me and Literally Everything Else #i need a hug i think. i havent had a hug in so long im so fucking touch starved #i need to get medicated for my stupid adhd so i can be functional jesus christ #because part of why i havent started actually Doing Shit in my life is. the executive dysfunction paralysis #so many things have piled up that i need to do so i just simply dont start Anything #ugh #sorry for the ass o clock vent post #im okay im not in a super bad place or anything #im just. tired of being my mentally ill and brain rotting self yknow #sigh #delete later

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peaceshire · 10 months ago

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Just binged your fic 'The Kissing Trap' and hi am speechless, started to look through your post and reaches one who was begging to you to make a bad ending. And I completely lose it when I read the tag 'Violenceshire'.

The fic is amazing and I hope you have a good day.

Thank you so, so much!!

I’m dYING TO FINISH IT!! I realized while working I need to split the final chapter into two because I have too much to cover 😭

I’m very close to done with the Final Chapter Part One (lol) !!!

And then I want to write some one shots (sex scenes tbh) and then the bad end 💕

#all I do these days is work #I wake up and go to work #I get home and eat and then work my second job #I sleep #rinse and repeat #I’ve been writing on my lunches every day but it’s been hard to get into the groove like I used to #I think because I’ve been stressed #I used to write so fast LOL #now I am struggling with things a lot more #sigh #on my days off I just do household chores #my second job is fun tho it’s really fun I’m happy and lucky to do it #so I shouldn’t complain

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dreamerwriternstargazer · 1 month ago

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So I’m still in my old IGCSE English classroom despite the fact that another teacher’s taken over

The class with students who were just. Kind of a nightmare, I was struggling to get them to work, but we had started to improve towards the end of the year and the beginning of this school year

I felt a bit good about that, like okay they clearly didn’t want to be there and didn’t want to do the work but I finally got through to them a little to get them to do a bit of homework, and to pay attention in class more

Anyway, the first week of the new teacher doing it by herself, it seems she has managed to get them both to submit full essays on time in the classroom

…. And I am left wondering if I’m just. Really incompetent as a teacher.

#star speaks #I’m teaching these same girls for science and maths #and they’re generally better at submitting work but I’m noticing they aren’t very thorough over their homework still #was I bad because I didn’t know what to do or did I just not try hard enough #I swear I was trying as much as I could #*sighs*#I still have a lot to learn #and I know I can feel it each year I get better and better #but I also feel saddened like… maybe I was just doing my job badly #where was I falling short….#I want to know that #or maybe it’s just that they had no interest in listening to me. I’ve noticed that too #a difference between how students treat me vs other teachers.#just slightly but… enough. Not quite as respectful not taking me so seriously #*siiighs*#when you live your life looking like the human personification of mochi

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deus-ex-mona · 1 month ago

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