#sigh whatever i have free will
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man i dont wanna bother giving yall better quality here have the twitter slop leftovers
#clock0fmeantime#can i even tag this as elijah volkov anymore#like yeah sure its her but also like#look at her#like if you saw that without the context of “thats elijah volkov” u wouldnt think its her. right.#sigh whatever i have free will#elijah volkov#camp here & there#camp here and there#chnt#ch&t#camp here and there fanart#elijah chnt#anyways if you look closely you can see a keychain of my self insert
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happy halloween! 🎃🐈⬛👻🐇
#i just wanted to draw emu as a jiangshi .#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#polysho#enjoy halloween everynyan unfortunately i have to go work a shift. i thought abt dressing up for fun when i get back#but 1 im lazy 2 i dont live alone and its my luck that somebody ends up knocking when im in the middle of being dressed like a clown#so i would rather not risk it. idk how people get into cosplay just for photoshoots/videos i dont have that conviction .#but halloween con was lots of fun and i got to see friends and trade candy so i enjoyed my celebration already. ^_^#also STOP BEATING THE SHITNOUT OF ME IDEK IF I CAN BOOO BACK FROM A SIDE BLOG. YOURE KILLUNG ME#once again some random guy will be hittimg you back. boo#to end my tags i am going to be pissed off because i cannot draw well rn and its KILLING MEEEEEE#im art blocked as hell and mad about it. my zines....#its so annoying like with my personal art its whatever but people spend Money on zines i need to get good.#its been like over a week so i thought inwould be free. sigh#i often draw emu fiending off of tsukasa. the way things should be. amen#also inthink rui would love to go all out for costumes but he got busy modding a tshirt launcher to shoot candy and forgot abt his costume#so hes a tuxedo cat. he thinks hes so funny
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google search how to safely have my friends from other groups smell each other through the door like cats so they can be introduced
#thinking about birthday plans and it is scary#i have to work out something to actually Do other than just throw a bunch of people in a call and be like we are hanging out now ^-^#because i feel like there are some flaws with that#although...... almost all of my friends own tabletop sim. which is awesome and has a lot of potential#ouuuugh i also have to think about peoples schedules. which is so fucked up and evil#i should be able to just psychically know if everyone is free on like the fifth of april rather than having to ask#sighs. this is probably more than my brain can handle rn but also if i dont do anything for my birthday ill die. whatever whatever whatever#i stay certifiably silly#original post placeholder tag
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,,, wdhdnfhffjjf
#i just. i just wanted the larger version on here. apologies for the spam i suppose#i'm going so insane over them... lives in head rent free etc#also the shading here vibes. so. owo??uu overly proud me. but what is a tumblr sideblog if not to go bonkers.#aknshdhdhdfhfhhfhffhfhfh every so often i have to go back to this and Stare and go 'how on earth did i make this???'#sigh. i feel like i've been flooding the tag lately. alas i shall endeavour to be less self conscious about Posting and more.. as mish said#highly throwable imp.. anyways. teehee#i genuinely keep forgetting i mean for this to be a storage space before anything else for my art#but like make art for funsies is such a healthy mindset i am Adopting lately so#whatever sparks joy. we stay silly!! :33#adamandi#<- for personal filing ig feel free to ignore#the colours on this really just go so hard !! hhhdbdnfh
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what are your price plans for the keychains..... looking up at you with my big autistic eyes
Currently its looking to be in the $20-25 range!
Though reminder there would not just be a keychain, also a sticker sheet and 2 buttons! (maybe 3...)
#2al merch#asks#and ofc whatever the shipping will be#in other words if you are in the USA it wont be more than like#30 dollars total#also if you want to buy the pack but lets say#you dont want the stickers#but you want buttons and keychain for example#you are free to let me know and I can take out whatever item for you#however this would not lead to a discount#sigh I should have bought a lot more than 30 to sell shouldnt have I#how about after this batch if theres still demand I can do another round#but maybe not a bundle deal#just a keychain#sprout keychain.......#meanwhile I cant decide if there should be 2 or 3 buttons#might stick with 2 for the sake of. cheaper.#but think about it.#all three leos.....#button form
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on one hand it’s so fun to write for an incomplete series like spy x family because i literally can make up whatever the hell i want and there is nothing more i love than inventing tragic backstories for characters who are otherwise cinnamon and sunshine and the whole shebang. on the other hand it feels like i’m racing against time because anytime now something canon will drop and wipe all my hcs clean 😂
#I HAVE SO MANY HCS FOR YOR AND HER BACKSTORY SIGH#but my hands are tied by work until Christmas Eve…#I have a deadline on Christmas Eve… wtf!!!#spy x family#but ok whatever it’s free real estate i’m doing this for free so idc 😂
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I want my art to be weirder (I'm afraid of people expecting "normal" art from me because of what I make most often and them being upset with me if I deviate from it)
#SIGH. sorry i feel like this is like a thought that more serious artists should have and not like. me. lol#but especially on twitter i am afraid for some reason#like i do not want to be so palatable for everyone but like. i am most of the time#its just occasionally i wont be#and yknow. i dont want to accidentally build an audience thats gonna judge me for that#am i making sense#this is such a. NOTHING PROBLEM..#but whatever ive been thinking about it 😭#like i want to feel free to make suggestive art and weird sad art and self projection art and gross art#and the best way to feel free is to make that so people know to expect it#but i really just. most often draw very normal very bland things#which im not even upset about its jusf. i dont want that to be expected of me??#literally no one has said they expect certain stuff from me#no one has gotten upset at me#i am just. an overthinker and SCARED all the time#oh well#thats all#vent
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sukuna begging yuuji to take him back because he wants to feel his emotions again instead of his own emptiness and nothing but the closeness they once had is enough for him. and when yuuji does, because he feels incomplete as well without sukuna, he spawns into the domain again and walks around the familiar place, hesitantly calling out sukuna’s name to confirm he’s really there. “sukuna…?”
“…kozō” he hears in return, fondness in the tone, and when he looks up at where he remembers the throne to be he sees a face so similar to his staring down at him with a smile, a hand immediately reaching out to slick the pink hair back. after everything they went through there’s no reason to keep dancing around it – they belong to each other.
#cue yuuji starting to cry because his kuna is back#maybe he can keep the arms and mouths but i need yuujikuna back sorry T_T#they bask in the comfort for a while sukuna sitting on his throne with yuuji on his lap and when they hold hands yuuji obviously goes#“hm i almost forgot what having two pinkies was like” and sukuna sighs “stop being dramatic you have three more now”#sukuna kissing every scar on yuuji’s face and affectionately running his thumb on the ones under his eyes because they’re on there again <3#would sukuna inherit yuuji’s scars i think the answer is no bc he didn’t have them before but i like to think that he can do whatever he#wants. bc people thought he used yuuji’s face just to spite him which is so diabolical of him hehe#or maybe at first he was forced to wear yuuji’s face and couldn’t restore his true self because he was only a few fingers#and if he comes back and yuuji welcomes his presence instead of resisting it/restraining him then he’s free to look as he pleases#i could talk about this all day it’s so fascinating to me#and the fact that gege changes sukuna’s tattoos mask etc all the time does nawt help but it’s fun#my post
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aaaaah no i saw another "Izzy can't be homophobic you idiot I headcanon him as gay and anyway, he's right to hate Stede for being soft and inexperienced and rich" post send help (ik all of this has been said before and better, I just need to get it out of my system)
First of all, Izzy is a white and maybe not straight but definitely traditionally masculine man in a society where racism/sexism/homophobia/associated bigotry exist. Okay? Okay. These things exist in the ofmd universe, there's no arguing that away. It therefore stands to reason that Izzy, who grew up in that environment, harbours homophobic sentiments, because it is literally impossible to avoid that.
Detesting Stede for being effeminate and gnc is homophobia. Plain and simple. That's the core of homophobia. It's not about who someone finds attractive in their heart, it's about doing gender wrong. It's not so much about who you have sex with, but how you're doing it.
(And this is what Izzy and Calico Jack and the Badmintons and everone who ever bullied him hate about him. It's not that he's upper class. It's not that he's rich. It's this.)
Homophobia and the patriarchy go hand in hand. Under patriarchy, anything masculine is good and superior and anything feminine is weak and detestable. A good man, a proper man is defined by what he isn't (=not ever feminine), and any association with femininity is degrading. This is why Stede is called a woman (derogatory) by people who are perfectly aware he is a guy, why he's called Baby Bonnet: Both these things say You are not a real man. Does anyone who hurls abuse at him think he's gay? Who knows! It's well known he's married and has children, for fuck's sake! But it doesn't matter what's in Stede's heart, it matters how he behaves, how he speaks and carries himself, his interests, his inability to fit it.
Why do you think he's called fat when he isn't as an adult and wasn't as a child? It's the same thing, it's not logical, just a way for people to express their vague discomfort with him in the most hurtful way possible.
The way Izzy talks about him and the way the Badmintons talk about him parallel each other and that's not a coincidence. Izzy talks about Stede as having "done something" to Ed's "brain", Chauncey Badminton says he "ruined" Ed, that he's "not human" and a "monster". This is the exact violent, dehumanizing rhetoric that has forever been flung at gnc gay men, effeminacy as a corrupting, contagious influence, good upstanding manly men being seduced (hah!) into the Gay Lifestyle. You're not a person, you're a disease.
Fop and ponce may be old fashioned but they are also homophobic slurs.
Izzy doesn't detest the upper class. He has no trouble at all weaponizing his whiteness against Ed when he sends the English after him, when he attempts to buy Ed for himself with Stede's life. Izzy can fit into that world well enough to use it for his own gain as long as it will let him, and sure, he'll be crushed as soon as he's no longer useful but that doesn't stop him from aligning himself with the literal enemy, does it? That's what makes Izzy a class traitor (derogatory) btw, and why analysis that tries to paint him as "just a working class guy who hates the rich" a little silly.
("We're not bigots we are just ordinary salt-of-the-earth working class guys who hate the out of touch liberal elite and anyway, they're all perverts" hmmm, where have I heard this before?)
It's baffling to me that people watch this show and genuinely think "Izzy isn't homophobic, he just hates Stede because he's rich" is a good argument like??? Who expresses this exact sentiment in the show????
Look. I know where this comes from. I too read Izzy as queer. But queer people are perfectly capable of being homophobic towards each other.
Izzy can accept Ed having sex with men who are not him. He's fine with that, and sure, that seems to be proof that He can't be homophobic! at first glance. But, under patriarchy, not liking women sexually is - well, maybe not ideal but under certain circumstances acceptable (after all, under patriarchy, not liking women is perfectly reasonable and encouraged, so it's not a huge leap). But what is not acceptable, what needs to be violently suppressed at all costs, is men being insufficiently masculine.
Which is what Izzy detests about Stede, and what he attacks Ed for in ep10. And this is homophobia in a nutshell.
#yes okay i care too much about this whatever#but i DO want it noted that i went and made my own post instead of picking a fight#which was very brave of me. if i do say so myself#sigh. when will we be free of 'HAVE you considered that hating someone for being different is fine actually' takes#our flag means death#izzy hands#thoughts
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Ok, about the soulmate subject:
It doesn't have to be contrary to free will though.
Sam and Dean were mainly created to become Lucifer's and Michael's vessel (which they did eventually, still bitter about the Michael! Dean storyline, such a shitty retcon ruining 'point of no return' in hindsight, but nvm, Jensen wanted to wear pretty clothes so, shrugs).
But they did not fight each other/ overcame the fight eventually.
They chose free will and chose not to follow the angel's apocalypse plan.
But they're still tied to each other by fate.
One doesn't cancel out the other.
A show can have multiple themes.
#supernatural#spn#sam winchester#dean winchester#this can be a gen post if you want#soulmates can be platonic#so not tagging anything specific#but feel free to tag whatever#that polls blog shows me fandom takes I never would have seen otherwise#it's interesting#but also gets me back into discussing that show#sighs
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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there needs to be,,,,,a typewriter, but not a hassle to acquire & fix and use and maintain. modern typewriter. simple maybe digital typewriter that doesn't have internet access or other features it's just for typing words and that's it. big storage. maybe it's an e-ink screen so it doesn't hurt ur eyes. maybe it doesnt cost 700 dollars. this is my dream i am gazing dreamily into the night sky dreaming abt it. modern typewriter
#yes i know you can use a notebook im doing that right now <3#yes i know laptops exist im typing this on one <3 this is not what im talking abt#if i am on my laptop i am 1) experiencing screen brightness woes and 2) on tumblr eventually i cannot not be there#i dont want a minimalist writing app i dont want an app that yells at me if i open youtube i want a Tiny Machine#that i can type on and it shows the words and then i can send the word to. like. scrivener or whatever later. print them. something#maybe i can have research open on my laptop and then type on the tiny machine. and it doesnt cost 700 dollars. and i type on it#sigh. chin hands. the future is a disappointment#finchtalks#yes ive been looking into e-ink tablets with bluetooth keyboard possibilities for 5 hours what of it#I NEED THE WORLDS SMALLEST MOST AFFORDABLE FEATURE-FREE E-INK LATPTOP#FOR NOT 700 DOLLARS#AND IT JUST ISNT OUT THERE I DONT THINK </3
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i understand why succession didn't get a fifth season. that doesn't mean i agree with the decision to end the show after four seasons.
#jesse had a vision and i respect it. i still wanted a fifth season and it could have made sense!!!!!!!!!#if they had made the decision to continue to fifth season it could've been good!!! that way there would have been more room for it all#also sue me but i didn't like the shiv pregnancy <3 it makes sense but shiv literally did not win once. free my girl#and yes i will talk about this forever but as someone who was deeply invested in whatever roman and gerri had going on..........#it could've been so good. instead it was. just something. i wish they wouldn't have cut the funeral scene!!!! even that would have been good#now i have a martini and a dream!!!!!#sigh. at least i will always have season two#it seems like after a year i am finally ready to talk about it. sorry to all my vampire enthusiast friends but honestly.#most of you went to succession too <3
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bingjiu shippers, support your ship without making up stuff about why bingqiu are not "good" or sy is a "bad person" challenge
#svsss#i have to read so many bad takes lol#ah people are free to think whatever as long as they make clear it's the opinion#yet it's not like anyone is gonna do that anyway#sighs#rant#i'm so salty
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Last post before I crash and no-one hears from me until I return from my first final the morrow’s eve (a changed man no doubt) but there’ll never be anything funnier to me than consistently being viewed as a composed and calm saviour by peers while I’m, actively and uncontrollably losing it.
#not said sarcastically or as a vent by the way I genuinely find it so terribly amusing. you think I have it together ? aw <3 you fool.#i’ve been pacing around my room like a starving lion since the past week in whatever free time i’ve had.#and i keep getting people in my messages begging me for last minute help ? which is endearing but. i’m hanging on for dear life myself#helping isn’t foreign to me; i have 4 (?) people in my class who almost exclusively refer to me as ma’am and even refer to me as a teacher.#but helping last minute is so. deeply chaotic.#and I have this issue with me where having others around me makes me immediately drop into a ‘role’ of sorts?#i’ll be freaking out but then someone else starts freaking out around me and my immediate response is to just.#hey. we are going to make it out of this. it’s easy as pie. do you see me worried? no right? <- on the verge of hyperventilating#there’s this one guy in particular who got so excited to find out we have the exact same examination set-up tomorrow.#i gave him like basic pointers and i don’t think i’ve ever been thanked so earnestly and desperately in my life.#i remember during mocks my friends would message me what I wrote in questions and then they’d immediately go oh thank Fuck.#they’d literally just act like they’re absolutely going to pass now just because we had points in common.#as if i’m some sort of fucked up correct answer sheet incarnate.#it’s genuinely really sweet to me though; like i’m not posting this ranting or such.#having so much faith in another to the point that you can put yourself completely at ease says. alot i think.#and i’m glad i can be that person for so many.#and I feel like it helps me in a way too because i become so concerned with others that I forget to drown myself in my worries.#i forget that I’m worried because there are others to care about and console and help. so i suppose they help me in a way as well.#but also who is going to be that person for ME. who is going to console ME. im going fucking neurotic /jest#<- woman with ego issues & control issues who would rather die than accept help.#sigh. oh well. I’m sure we’ll do just fine. cannot wait#🥀🍷 — colloquy.
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stooooooop ur bird facts are giving me crazy bo thoughts but specifically the dyeing feathers to be more gender affirming. immediately started thinking abt birddaughter already doing a form of this and that by extension birdperson's far duller plummage could even make him read as gnc among birdpeople....
UEAHHH DEFINITELY W BIRDDAUGHTER. also yessss i do think personallllyyyy theres a lot to b said abt how bp doesnt fit neatly into bird culture anyways like REGARDLESS of being trans … it depends on how you interpret the culture but tbh id definitely consider bp to be gnc in some form ….
#also much to be said abt his atypical family … hm#oohhhhh birdworld how i desire to know you more …#interesting also that technically all three times he parts ways w rick can be tied back to .. bird cultureee#first time pretty explicitly he misses home and specifically like. the music i think. i forget#second time. is moreso his own values clashing w ricks but like … where do those values come from. and thinkin abt his chat w morty#abt how abandoning his home (and rick) wld be a dick move#and then most recnetly he leaves to go after his family#hmmm. reaching but idgaf#i have aoooo many bird thoughts ..#TALKING ABT BIRDRICK A SEC this is why i go fucking crazyyyy over them like early on where they dont know the like gendered shit of each ot#others culture. like rick doesnt know that male birdppl r supposed to be like x and and bp doesnt know male humans r supposed to be liek y#and they dont gaf!!!!!!!#sigh …. wish i cld be in space free of human expectations ………. lol#ok idk if i sound stupid in the tags LOL i keep forgetting what ive written im. on mobile whatever#asks
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