#sigh i can't help myself

[nientedal]

"Zira" "Azi" "Az" SIGHHHHHH

is anybody else irritated at the widespread fandom nicknaming of Aziraphale and fucking nobody else? is that just me? because it really feels like a "oooh [wince-hisses through teeth], no, that's too long and weird. that's too hard. i'm gonna call you This instead" situation, and i do not care for it. it pissed me off when i was writing good omens fanfic thirteen years ago and it pisses me off now. you care enough about everyone else to get their names right, all the unusual demon and angel monikers, but oh no, Aziraphale, oh that's ten whole letters, that's way too long. oh you're not gonna bother to type all that, no, his name is just Zira now.

and like, he's not real, so this super duper does not matter and isn't deeply and incredibly shitty the way it is when it's directed at real people. but it still rubs me the wrong way every time i see it. that's not his name! why is his name not good enough for you to take the time to type out the way you do for everyone else! ugh.

[bylertruther]

not to be too real but since we're talking about it... we always talk about will feeling lonely which is fair, but... it is such an Ugly, isolating, and genuinely heart-wrenching feeling to be the odd one out in your family, and to watch them treat others who aren't related to you the way you wish they would treat you, to watch them perform their familial roles with them and not you.

nancy's the only person in his family that mike could talk to, the only person that has the same trauma and would understand, and yet... he can't. they don't ever talk unless it's to be snippy and bite. nancy spends more time caring about max and will than she does mike, her own little brother.

holly is too young for him to bond with like that. she's just barely a kid, one that still needs to be cared for.

his mom tries her best, but he doesn't feel comfortable being vulnerable with her. considering the fact that she did everything "right" according to society's standards and married their dad of all people, i doubt he feels comfortable showing her who he really is. he lets her hug him when he's at his lowest, but we don't see them actually connecting.

his dad is just some ghost that haunts his house. he doesn't care about mike or think highly of him at all. the only times we've seen him pay mike any attention are when he belittles his interests, mocks him, punishes him, or shuts him down by telling him to listen to his mother. the only support he gets from him is financial in nature.

meanwhile, everyone else has a family they can turn to. dustin, despite lying to his mother to keep her out of his shenanigans, seems to have a decent relationship with her. even if he doesn't, he still has steve and robin. lucas is shown to have a healthy relationship with his parents and erica. will and el have their family.

max's situation is different, but she has the backing of the party; people that love her and actively try to help her and pull her back into the world of the living. she isn't thrust into a leadership role that doesn't allow for vulnerability. she has nancy who is willing to fight monsters for her, el who literally performed a miracle for her, and lucas who has stood by her since the beginning.

and mike... well. he has will back now, sure, but... things have been different between them for a long time now, even if they're both trying their best to be how they were before. and before then, will obviously was in california, not returning his calls or reaching out, making mike feel like he'd lost him for good.

so... all that being said, it's not that surprising that mike is the way he is: riddled with abandonment issues, wanting to be needed, immediately apologizing whenever he dares to open up, inclined to give others the protection and comfort no one's ever given him, prone to jealousy and possessiveness, unable to be completely and wholly honest about what troubles him, not exactly the most open to new people, and someone with appallingly low self-esteem.

you know how they say people that are drowning don't always look like they're drowning? that's mike.

[abyssalhuntersnerd]

It's that time of the year again where I put the fish and Amiya in the washing machine...

[lulue-xie]

[derangedfujoshi]

Me: I'll just write some nice porn scene

The Muses: you shall write about wants and desire and introspection before ever getting to that, my child.

Me: aw man :(

[wanderingmind867]

I feel like I'm always super reluctant to reblog fandom stuff. I think it goes back to my days as a lurker online without an account. I only ever browsed blogs without an account for years. Back when my old tablet still worked, it's all I did. Browse, but never like or engage. And so now that I have an actual account, I still struggle with working past that impulse. All I do is like stuff, and I barely ever reblog stuff. It's a bad habit, but one I never seen to find time to work on. sigh...

[djevelbl]

I just learned that all my preconceived notions about who Ratoo is in COTL are like. completely wrong--

[lucyvaleheart]

.

[ofbardsandmen]

hand-me-down ribbons | diluc, kaeya and jean headcanon

somebody on twitter pointed out how jean and diluc have a matching hair ribbon and so i'd like to address this topic further and slightly away from the jealuc point of view.

to add onto my 'kaeya liked jean' discussion, i believe the 'ribbon affair' would be one of the reveals of his affection towards her, which nobody thought of as romantic-implied (except, of course, kaeya). he volunteered to give his black ribbon to jean once she was in a dire need of one, the same ribbon that diluc once gave him and that kaeya stupidly held onto, even tho he had a blue one that matched his hair. but alas! he kept his brother's ribbon instead as one of his most treasured items (and he'd never admit it). diluc made it very clear to kaeya that he can only borrow it from him for a while and not keep it forever, and yet, he never asked kaeya to return it. and so, the brothers ended up with matching ribbons. so, considering that, imagine how it must have been for kaeya to separate with it and give it to the girl he liked instead. jean, of course, accepted it (hesitantly so) and guess what? stupidly held onto it for years, just like kaeya did, until it finally snapped or deteriorated due to time, and ever since then, she'd get another ribbon in the same color if anything were to happen to the previous one she owned, stubbornly thinking that the color black suited her the best (against lisa's attempts to convince her otherwise).

[ieatnomnom9823]

enjoy a peice of shit i drew at 1 am last night

help

[nightxaviation]

hrrrrggggggggg

[voidnerd]

Man I really got in over my head with this internship at work and now I just want to leave. 🙃 I'm just making a fool of myself and the other person is basically the perfect candidate so there's not even a point.

[wanderingmind867]

Is it possible to stress yourself out to the point where you give yourself a feeling of emptiness and mild nausea? Because if that's possible, then I think I gave that to myself. I worked myself up so enormously over school coming back and me going full days and not being able to do as much online and etc etc that I may have inspired my body to just throw a wall of nausea at me. Which would be just what I need now!

To know that I'm 19, but I'm capable of such strong panic and overthinking that I potentially gave myself nausea. What a wonderfully well adapted person I must appear. Severe Anger issues, stress always as high as a roof, a crippling fear of judgement, a dependency on others to help me, etc. I truly must look like a disaster of a person. sigh...

[drysauce]

im still thinking about yesterday when after the cinema i mentioned than when i get home i'll help one girlie from uni with her project because she's stuck to which one of my friends asked why am i helping some random girl instead of my roommate

[suokumi]

What’s the game about and where can I get it?

If you mean cotl (The Cult of The Lamb) then it's a game you can find on Steam!

In the game, you're the scraficial lamb, the last of your kind, led to be slaughtered. After your demise, you meet The One Who Waits, the God of Death. You're told in the Prophecy it's said that you'll be the one to get Death back from its containment, so you start the cult in the name of death

I wouldn't recommend playing this game if you're under 18, as it contains the usual stuff you'd expect from cult-related stories. There are killing, sacrificing, questionable decisions, and so on, but that is a choice for you to make

[torchickentacos]

anyways. having fun with the album project thing I mentioned. Using the flat small brush from here for krita. One brush only, no undo button, all done on 1/54th of a 1.5k x 1k canvas. it's actually pretty therapeutic, I listen to the album I'm drawing while I draw it. This does mean that for AM I got to like. track 2 though and most of that was bc of formatting issues lol.