#shut the fuck up Alex

[didsomeonesaybuffet]

I need to get off of this fucking website, I do not have plenty of time, I do NOT have plenty of time!!!

[yrsonpurpose]

Shut up, stop talking.

[punklemon]

X

"What do you miss most about the early days of the band?"

...

Alex to Andy in a softest voice possible:

"I miss your old haircut"

...

[incorrect-supercorp]

Alex: Imagine you and your partner are at a restaurant or at a shopping center, and you’re trying to figure out where the bathroom is.

Lena: Oh, Kara will not fuck me in a bathroom.

Alex: …

Lena: I’ve tried.

Alex: That is 100% not what I was going to ask you.

[tjarry]

from scott wedgewood's story on his instagram

[clockwrkpendrxgon]

when alec lightwood said: and when one day people look back on me and what my life meant, I don’t want them to say, ‘Alec Lightwood fought in the Dark War’ or even ‘Alec Lightwood was Consul once.’ I want them to think, ‘Alec Lightwood loved one man so much he changed the world for him’.

and when prince henry said: because when they write the history of my life, I want it to include you and my love for you

[wokegallagher]

graham doesn't find himself attractive piss me off so bad. Like???? bitch, THIS IS YOU

[halojalex]

SIR-

[gregorygerwitz]

"Eddie's going to be isolated from Buck because he's in love with him and not be able to communicate that!"

"Eddie's going to be isolated from Buck because they kissed!"

"Eddie is going to isolate himself from Buck so his feelings won't get in the way of his best friend's happiness!"

Eddie is cheating on his girlfriend. Eddie is going to be isolated from everyone in his life, including his best friend, because he's making awful decisions and it would be normal for people to keep him at a distance for a bit after they find out about that.

Buck is going to be so disappointed in his canonically straight best friend and they're going to fight about it. This is going to affect their friendship. In a lot of really complicated ways considering how entwined Buck is with the Diaz family at this point. I don't think they're going to be distant forever, their friendship will come back from this - eventually.

I think Buck would be completely in the right to pull away from Eddie and that friendship once this all shakes out.

Buck, the person who was on the receiving end of a drunk kiss, with a woman who had no idea he was in a relationship, who felt awful about that night to the point of panic. Buck, the person who made a total fool of himself on his first date with a dude, feeling like a fraud because he hid that part of himself from his best friend, who came out to him three days later (at most) because the guilt of lying to the people he cares about was eating him up from the inside.

But this thing with Shannon Kim is... Eddie is lying to everyone in his life, including himself. Not because he's this emotionally suppressed gay man, but because he's still in that flux of grief, where he still slips back into denial even on his good days. And he's allowed to feel those feelings, and miss Shannon, and all of that, but maybe... don't lie to Kim about being single. Don't lie to Buck and Chris about going out with Marisol. Don't lie to Marisol about spending the night with Buck and Chris, or whatever the hell he told her.

If Eddie really wants to pursue this thing with not-Shannon, fine. That's not the part of the storyline I have an issue with, and that's not what Buck or anyone else is going to have an issue with. He needs to be honest, with everyone, and if that takes his entire life blowing up in his face - losing his girlfriend, losing whatever the fuck he thinks he's doing with Kim, losing the respect of his team at the 118, losing the respect of his best friend - then he also needs to know it won't be easy to come back from that.

Even if - and this is the biggest if I've ever typed because it simply doesn't make sense for the story or anything else we know about this show - there are some other-than-platonic feelings in the mix here on Eddie's side, this is not the storyline that's going to lead to canon B*ddie.

Buck is in a relationship where he is happy and thriving.

Eddie is in a relationship (for now) and seems to have no intention of ending it.

Buck is not going to find out that Eddie has romantic feelings for him and suddenly forgive him for cheating on Marisol and lying to Chris.

Eddie is going to be isolated from everyone, including Buck, because he is going to lose his best friend.

[alexluvsskittlez]

Emily's voice is really calming for me.

like not just her singing voice but also her talking voice as well. her vocals in overflow where beautiful too like DAMN.

why do I highkey want to lay on her lap while she yaps uhhh who said that??? I sure didn't say that I think flamingo hacked me guys!!!

[actual-changeling]

after quite a long time - welcome back to alex's unhinged meta corner!

and yes. it is once again the final fifteen. it has been two months and i have not moved on.

i'm gonna preface this very quickly with a little disclaimer: i do not dislike aziraphale, i love him. they both fucked up in different ways and neither of them is solely responsible for the entire shitshow that went down between them.

but.

aziraphale needs to learn how to listen to crowley, and crowley has the right to be angry. to be fucking furious, actually.

let's dive into it, shall we?

crowley starts talking as soon as aziraphale is back. he takes off his glasses, he is pacing, which is always a dead giveaway that he is nervous about something, and he explicitly asks aziraphale to LISTEN.

"it's probably best if i start off doing all the talking and you do all the listening"

followed by "if i dont start talking now i'll never start talking", and one should think that would be enough for aziraphale to actually shut up and listen. yet he doesn't. he interrupts crowley and tells him to "hold that thought" aka to shut up and listen to him instead, and this is where it all goes wrong.

not when he presents the metatron's offer, not when crowley realizes he will take it, not when crowley holds his speech.

here. right here. right at the beginning because from the second aziraphale enters the bookshop, he does not care about what crowley has to say. he is not listening to a single word coming out of his mouth because all he wants to do is present the "good news".

aziraphale has been ignoring pretty much 90% of what came out of crowley's mouth this season, and now we are at 100% of not listening or comprehending. however, crowley loves him. crowley loves him and sees his excitement and shuts up even though it is visibly hurting him.

this is not the face of someone who is in the mood to receive your "good news". this is someone who is at his fucking limit and biting his tongue and saying "really?" at the right point because crowley is listening. crowley loves him and he is listening - but does aziraphale give him the same undivided attention? does he ever listen to crowley?

NO! he doesn't! look at them side by side:

aziraphale is once again too caught up in his own feelings to even register that crowley is not doing well.

crowley is listening, nodding along, looking at him, patiently waiting, which honestly deserves an award. aziraphale is not getting to his fucking point and honestly i would not have been able to keep quite like crowley. he is taking very deep breaths, trying to calm himself down, but you can see that his brain is already trying to work out what kind of bullshit aziraphale has gotten himself into this time.

if aziraphale was paying the slightest bit of attention to crowley aka the person he loves he would have realized that he needs to stop talking. but he isn't and so he doesn't stop.

now. crowley doesn't cry throughout the entire thing. tears form but don't fall, and the thing is that they don't appear after aziraphale's "big reveal". no. you can see them in the very last frames we get of crowley before we shift to aziraphale's conversation with the metatron.

aziraphale mentions the metatron, says "i might have misjudged him", and that's it. crowley knows what he is about to tell him (at least the promotion part) and it's ripping a hole into him.

you can see that he is thinking, processing, but he knows. the sudden difference in his eyes between these frames and the last is very visible and accompanied by the first glints of tears along his waterline.

crowley knows this:

aziraphale isn't listening to him

gabriel is gone, meaning there is no supreme archangel

the metatron showed up on earth and then wanted to talk to aziraphale alone

now aziraphale is back and has "great news"

he's smart, he can connect the dots, he is painfully aware of how this is going to end.

want to know what the best part is?

between crowley taking his glasses off and the switch to the conversation with the metatron pass 35 seconds.

35 seconds. that's how long it takes for crowley's world to fall apart.

everything that comes after just makes it worse and gives him more details, but this when he knows that whatever aziraphale is going to ask of him, he will not do it, and aziraphale is going to leave him. there's a tiny spark of hope, which is why he asks.

"tell me you said no" but he knows. he knows aziraphale did not say no. he knows the second he connects his excitement to the news.

35 seconds.

aziraphale did not listen because he does not *care* about what crowley wants to tell him. he has build himself a version of crowley in his head and expects the real crowley to act like that, taking his attention, his help, his mere presence, as granted. in his mind, whatever crowley wants to tell him can't possibly be more important than what HE cares about, and so he does not care and he does not listen.

"good news to give you" the news are not "i am going to be supreme archangel" and it is NOT "the metatron said i can make you an angel"

no, wanna know what the good news are in aziraphale's mind?

"you are an angel again." THAT are the news. THAT is what he is telling crowley, because hey, did you notice something? while watching the entire confession scene over and over again like a normal person?

i did.

never, not ONCE, in his deliverance of the good news, does aziraphale ASK CROWLEY WHAT HE WANTS.

he is operating on the assumption that yes, of course crowley will come with me to heaven. who doesnt want to be an angel? on the side of good and light and all the shit coming out of his mouth.

he only starts asking him to come with him once crowley makes it clear that actually, fuck that, i'm not going back. and even THEN even at that point he NEVER not ONCE asks crowley if he wants to be an angel again. he is STILL operating on "everyone wants to be an angel" and is not questioning it.

aziraphale thinks they are arguing about whether or not he should take the archangel position. crowley thinks they are arguing about him becoming an angel again.

the funny part is that to aziraphale, crowley's argument isn't even an argument because, again, he does not question that maybe crowley does not want to be an angel again. he is taking that as given.

THIS is why i don't want to see the apology dance again. this is why i dont want crowley to immediately forgive aziraphale. what i want is for aziraphale to shut up and LISTEN to what crowley is telling him and has been telling him for six thousand years.

i'm going to end this with one last comparison, which honestly summarizes this entire meta post.

[graham--folger]

ARTHUR SAID “I LOVE YOU” HE SAID IT. DIRECTLY TO JOHN

[rattfreakk]

I have this awful headcannon about alex karlie being a miku stan. I know this wouldn’t make sense timeline wise but I think it’s funny. Like alex would be like “tssh, the gorillaz are over rated tim. let me show you some REAL music.” and he just starts playing the world is mine.

[ilovecryoffearsm]

I'm rotting. I'm not rotting kinda. Im not physically rotting. I'm not rotting mentally. I just feel rot. I feel it in my soul. Something in my inside is rotting and decomposing and i feel doomed. I want something bad to happen. I feel rot. Not overbearing emptiness. Not solemn. Not numbness. Rot. Im tired but not overwhelmingly tired. Im not as angry as i was before. How do i feel? Don't tell me if you're wrong. Just shut up.

[running-in-the-dark]

John Larroquette in Altered States (1980)

[sincenewyorks]

not first son of our hearts