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emotsper · 4 months ago

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Hi!!!!!!!!

You’re like the szai person on tumblr, and even tho I’ve been playing proseka for like two years, I still don’t read a lot of the stories………

So as the certified szai tumblr person, since you kinda own the tag, would you like to explain to me why szai is such a popular ship? I really didn’t read much of anything…

Have fun!!

let me be brief (1/350) (no bc its actually gonna be a long ramble. apolocheese.) (also sorry if formatting is awful im a mobile user and I literally just type whatever)

FOR REAL THOUGH. PLEASE JUST DO ME A FAVOR AND READ MMJ MAINSTORY...... not only its a good source of szai cocaina you get to experience the entire mmj mainstory. i was normal before mmj mainstory and i was less normaler after mmj mainstory.

it simply went even more downhill when i read tenshi no clover. genuinely the one event story that first made me cry (second one was ice drop event but thats a bit biased)

okay now lets get to the main meat of it. szai.

admittedly i was kind of normaler early on but one of my tipping point was Chasing the radiance event especially chapter 7. please read/watch it. please. this specific chapter sent me into my trip of insanity when it comes to szai. it also opened my eye to specific scenes in their side stories/mmj mainsto that i skimmed early on especially bc im a jp only player so fan tls may not be super accurate back then 💔

to start off, airi was a girl that was often made fun of for being tomboyish, and seeing idols for the first time made her feel a glimmer of hope that maybe she can also bring hope to other people. she finally manages to reach her goal and became an idol after several of failed auditions (very deserved especially after her hard work) while shizuku became an idol purely out of luck from the idol grand prix context her friends convinced her to join 😭😭 From the start their relationship feels a little bit doomed with how jealousy is kind of unavoidable from airis side. but against all odds, you get to see airi go to shizuku and cheering her up by giving shizuku her towel and telling her to wipe those tears especially with such a pretty face like hers (MACHINE CLANG CLANG RACK SFX) they are so crazy for this. especially when you realize that shizuku kept the towel until now. (the towel is her area upgrade item)

from this point, airi thought nothing much of shizuku yet other than her being her new rival (and that shes rly pretty) but shizuku sees airi as her main reason to keep going in this idol stuff at that time, and that was enough.

(okay purely for this next part im forgetting a bit so do remember it may not be fully accurate 🙏)

after training minori for awhile, szai went thru a mini divorce arc where airi was telling minori that being an idol isnt all fun and games and that minori should consider quitting, continuing on with how she flopped in the industry bc she was more popular as a reality show figure. but shizuku disagreed and kept saying how airi was an idol through and through and that she shouldn't have quit, but that just tipped airi off and she shouted at shizuku, unloading all her pent up jealousy that she had for awhile now. iconic as hell scene in the most angsty way possible.

u can easily tell this wasn't received well by shizuku. at all. airi you done fucked up. shizuku left her idol group the next day.

(addendum i forgot to add. shizuku truly believed that airi was the first and if not, the only person who sees shizuku as shizuku hinomori herself, without all the idol filter that people plastered on her. so when airi admitted that she was jealous w shizuku getting everything good in the industry, that basically broke shizuku. (color of myself is a nice one to read when it comes to this 🙏 also the i am we are event is a crazy good conclusion to shizukus current arc))

at this point airi realizes just how much shizuku was influenced by her past actions without her fully knowing about it. girl you done fucked up.

this scene is still one of the biggest and strongest kryptonite for szai fans. especially with what happens after.

after confronting shizuku about her choice knowing full well its airis fault, airi, angry at herself, goes immediately to cheerful*days training place (she knows the place since theyve kinda shared the spot iirc) while the rest of mmj follows. she started threatening arisa and almost threw punches but she held back and told the rest of cheerful*days that shizuku is more of an idol than everyone in the room (i may be hallucinating this one. do lmk)

they finally leave the place, and both apologies to each other. at the same time, they both admitted that they were each others idol

and then shizuku goes to tackle hug airi. what the queer

that only concludes the mainstory section btw. upon realizing it may be too much of a recap instead of actual explanation ill be brief w the rest of it (keep in mind i dont read EVERY szai story, just ones i was made aware of bc im playing on jp and story content is a bit harder to see/consume)

Main szai crazies for szai fans

1. chasing the radiance ch7. airi yet talks again about how shizukus hands are slender and elegant while hers are short and chubby (she compared her hands to a manju) and shizuku was mad at her about this and went on a long tangent about how airis gentle hands were the ones who pushes minori and shizuku forward when they think they couldn't.

this is probably the fifth time ive read this story and it still gets me. i hate these fruitsssss. please read the full chapter ive linked it near the start this chapter is so special to me.

2. my ideal idol (airi 5, jp only event for now)

Bro i Dont Even Know What Else To Say. Just Look At This Card

but if we're being serious . lets talk about this one specific card and the story shall we.

this card was a blast to the past; pre-mmj szai again.

we start off with present mmj getting ready for their turn in the joint performance with a new junior idol group that they were paired with. airi was a bit nervous and shizuku noticed it. so she offered to do something that would hopefully lessen the nervousness for both of them. shizuku softly puts her head on airis back and whispered several word of encouragements. shizuku reminisces to the past.

pre-mmj szai. shizuku was very nervous as she was waiting for her first performance ever as an idol. airi was also there, and it was going to be her first too. airi shows up to say hi to shizuku but she noticed that shizuku was really nervous and at the verge of crying. airi knew she had to do something and told shizuku to turn around, shizuku did. shizuku lets out a little surprised yelp as she feels airis hands and head pressing against her back. she could hear airi muttering some encouragement but we never get to hear what the words were, only that shizuku thought about how warm airis hands were. (i need to be euthanized)

back to the present, shizuku says that she hopes that this gesture can somehow "repay" for what airi did to her back then. i think im losing it. sorry

OKAY IM DONE IM DONE ITS ALMOST 1 AM MY BRAIN IS NOT GOING TO WORK ANYMORE IF I KEEP TYPING..... my brain can handle so little. anyways i hope this wall of text ramble can convince u to read mmj mainsto and consume more mmj stories........ i admit its not perfect or whatsoever bc i haven't read the mmj mainstory for awhile and i have a wee memory issue thats paired with my deafness so. yeah. enjoy. haha.

#project sekai #shizuai #oh my fcukign god #im not smart ive never been a talker #so this was mostly a ramble instead of actuak “why szai is popular”#helpepppp helpppp hbelppppp #sorry if u expected anything different i genuinely dunno how to properly write it 😭😭#ALSO a hot take i have is that airi shouldn't be strictly fem presenting bc of her fes story #I WANT MY MASC KITTY!!! WHERE IS SHE

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dexlexia · 1 year ago

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haze - smoker x reader

pairing: smoker x reader rating: 18+ summary: “now.” he said, “what are you doing up so early?”he had come from the upstairs bedroom to see you cooking away at breakfast. He could tell from your constant yawning that you weren't exactly fully awake. tags: pwp, smut, gentle sex, morning sex, smoker can be a soft sometimes, wife!reader, minor breeding kink

“now.” he said, “what are you doing up so early?”he had come from the upstairs bedroom to see you cooking away at breakfast. He could tell from your constant yawning that you weren't exactly fully awake.

He came up behind you and wrapped his arms around you. Smoker had a sweet spot for you, after all you had been married for the last couple of years. Being a Marine meant late nights are early mornings, especially someone of his ranking.

“You should be asleep.” He said, “The doctor said you needed to recover.“ He kissed the top of your head before he went to the cupboard and grabbed some plates for you to serve the food on.

You rubbed your side where the recovering injury was, it was layered in bandage dressings to make sure it stayed healing. You gave it a gentle pat before you folded the egg over into an omelet. ”I'll be fine. Plus, if I don't make you breakfast, who will?“

He sighed, ”I can make it myself or buy something on the way to the port.“ He tried to move you out of the way but despite your small stature you stood firm at your post in front of the stove. Soon he gave up and kissed the side of your head, ”Thank you, my dear.“ He reached over to hand you a plate where you put his omelet on. He kissed you once more before he went to the table.

Smoker was a large man, he stood almost seven feet tall. But when it was the two of you alone in your home, he was very tender. He worried about you all the time, even when you were right beside him. He often struggled with not letting his worry take over him entirely and make him lose focus of his tasks as a marine.

He saw how the bulky bandages moved under your shirt. His lips pressed into a hard line as he thought of what had happened to you. On the island you came home and pirates came as the Marines were off doing training. With no ships protecting the docks, a small band of pirates came to terrorize the town.

You were brave however and stood your ground against a swordsman. Even if you weren't well trained in any particular weaponry, you got a hold of what you could and went to scare off the pirates. However it left you with a nasty wound from the tip of a sword that grazed you.

”I'll survive.“ You told him with a smile when he came to the nearby hospital. You cupped his face and told him you loved him. Since then he had become your shadow, sometimes literally when the only way you knew if he was around was the smell of smoke.

He started to eat while you made the second omelet. He kept his brown eyes on you while you cooked, admiring your back side as he took another bite of his food. He relaxed a little, your cooking was made from love and he could taste it in every bite he had.

”I love you.” He said.

You looked over your shoulder at him, “I love you too, Smoke.” Then reached over to the counter and grabbed a bottle of hot sauce to add to your omelet. Because nothing started the same off right like some hot sauce.

You plated the food, turned off the oven and left the pan on top to cool off. You sat yourself across from him at the table. Your foot brushed up against his ankle, he could feel the fuzzy slippers you always wore rub up against him. It was almost cute.

“You're working too hard." He remarked, ”I told you to leave everything and I will take care of it when I get home. I know you took down all the photos to dust.” He pointed his fork at you.

“The dust was bothering my allergies.” You replied, “I really had no choice, right now the last thing I need to do it be sneezing.” You tried to appeal to his common sense but failed miserably.

“Leave me a list, I will do everything you need me to do. There was no need to do that.” He said, "You need to heal, and pushing yourself further is only going to make it worse. If you were one of my men I'd have you tied to the bed.“

You smirked at him, “Oh, Smokey. I have been tied to the bed before, remember our honeymoon in the east? I remember you telling me it was the finest rope on the Grand Line.” Then happily took another bite.

He blushed and choked on his food, he coughed into his elbow before he cleared his throat, “That's not what I meant.” Then went back to eating, “Don't distract me from my point. You need rest, I know you're going crazy but I can't have my wife getting hurt all over again. Not while I'm not able to protect you.”

You sighed, “Smoker, I can protect myself. I did it after all when those pirates attacked."

He gripped his fork, ”I'm not saying you're not capable. It's just if I came back to shore and found you dead, I would neve forgive myself. The person I'd become if I lost you.“

You looked down for a moment before you got up from your chair and rounded the table to him. You wrapped your arms around him as best as you could and kissed his head. ”I know, I worry about you all the time as well. If something happened to you on the seas. I don't know where I'd be if I lost you.“

He looked at you and kissed you on the lips gently, ”I'd give my whole life to you. I love you.“

You smiled at him, ”I love you too, Smoker. Now why don't you finish up and get ready for the day.” You carefully got to sitting on his thigh and looked up at him, “Unless you have some time to spare.”

“I'd hurt you.” He said as he picked up on the memo. The way you kept your eyes on him as you toyed with the bottom hem of your shirt.

“Not if I'm on top.” You remarked before you leaned in for a kiss and pressed one on his lips. It was sweet yet passionate as you got the t-shirt up over your bandaged wound.

"You'll make me late.“ He tried to argue. Deep down he wanted to, since you got hurt the two of you haven't been able to make love. He had been so worried about injuring you further that he barely kept his hands on you.

You pressed another kiss, only to part it when you took your shirt off, ”You're in charge. They'll forgive you, there's no time to waste.“ You got off of him and made your way to the couch, Smoker's eyes were transfixed on your backside as you moved into the next room.

He followed you close behind, in the process he took off the undershirt he wore to bed and the pants he slept in. He sat on the couch, his cock was on full display and it was nothing short of impressive. You once compared it to a snake that lived on the island. He rolled his eyes and got embarrassed, he didn't want to hurt you when you two had sex. But after all this time you were accustomed to it.

He helped you steady yourself as you straddled his waist. He tried not to touch your injury as you got into his lap then slowly sank down on his cock. You moaned and gripped onto the man's shoulders as you fully seated yourself onto his cock.

”That's it.“ He said, ”That feels so good, my love.“ He placed his large hands on your waist and moved with your gentle movements. It was so tender and sweet, husband and wife making love before the husband went off to his job.

He caught all the bad guys then returned home to his wife who made him a lovely dinner for him to eat his fill with. Even if the wife was working with a large wound and refused to rest.

He kissed you again softly, he tasted like smoke and you moaned into his kiss. He was all encompassing, he really was like smoke. It warmed you all over to feel so close to him.

He held onto you firmly, but not too tight that you'd hurt yourself. He pressed more kisses against your face and chest as he met your slow and easy pace. This was simple love making, not rough sex with a heightened climax. Just two people moving together to create pleasure.

You kissed him once more as you felt an orgasm lap in your body like calm waves. Nothing a healing woman like yourself would find overwhelming. It was perfect and relaxed in every sense of the word.

"I love you.”

“I love you too."

You combed your fingers through his hair delicately, feeling the white strands past your fingertips. You sigh contently. You softly pulled his head back and kissed him on the neck. No marks were allowed on the beloved Marine, who was damaging government property.

The rule was stupid, but you didn't want Smoker to get into any more trouble than he was going to be already. So you left soft kisses as you rolled your hips in time with his. You moaned softly into your kisses as you felt your core getting a work out.

You felt pleasure approaching faster, like zips up your spine as you moved with each thrust. You leaned your head back and moaned as you held onto his shoulders and moved against him.

”You feel amazing, my love.“ Smoker said as he continued to hold you against him. You felt perfect next to him even with the height difference. It was perfect. Like two halves of the same whole, perfect pieces of one another. Happy together.

He kissed all over your face and you felt loved and adored. You held onto him and giggled as he kissed across sensitive spots.

”You're not too bad yourself, Smokey. You feel so good too, I love you.“

"I love you too, honey. For the rest of my life I'll love you. Never forget that.” He assured you as he continued to kiss up your neck. You continued to move your hips alongside him as the two of you made love on the couch.

It wasn't long before the need to orgasm came closer. Your bodies felt warm together as the two of you moved, you felt this curl in his gut as you rode him. Your breasts softly bounced as you moved. You wanted to chase the orgasm, the undeniable pleasurable feeling that Smoker gave you when the two of you made love.

“You're perfect.”

You kissed his face softly, feeling every line in his skin, “Not as perfect as you, Smokey. I don't ever want anyone else. You're my husband for the rest of our lives, forever and always.”

He smiled against your kisses on his face and held onto you as you continued to thrust up and down on his cock. You smiled at him before you continued to kiss his face. The sex felt amazing, it wasn't long before you felt the need become stronger.

So you worked your body against his until you finally finished around his cock. He groaned and tightened his grip on you slightly, as he thrusted up into you to reach his own climax.

As you came you pressed your mouth against his in a heavy, hot make out. When you started to come down from your high and the kisses became softer as you relaxed against him. You felt euphoric in that moment, especially when he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to his toned chest.

He was still careful about your injury though, he didn't want to press on it as he held you. He kissed the top of your head, ”That felt good.“ He soon picked you up and started to carry you back to the bedroom.

This was a good way to get you to finally rest to allow your injury to heal. He smiled down at you and you smiled up at him. He leaned in to kiss you one last time before he put you back into bed.

”Rest.“

”Maybe.“

He sighed, ”Please, for me. I will be back tonight, and we can make something together. For now, rest. I love you.“

You yawned, coming down from your high and feeling at peace, ”Alright, alright, Smokey. You better come home to me, or else I'm coming to get you.“

”Of course, my love. Always.“

#smoker #smoker x reader #smoker x you #smoker x y/n #one piece x reader #one piece smut #one piece smoker #smoker one piece #vice admiral smoker #dexlexia writes #op smut #one piece fanfiction #reader insert #anime x reader

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hikarielizabethbloom · 21 days ago

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Thoughts on TROP and Galadriel and Sauron

Since things have finally returned to normal (or perhaps I simply blocked the people who were annoying me; I’m not sure), I want to address a few issues I commented on last week. This time, I want to do it properly—no more replies while multitasking. I will be brief (I admire brevity) and hopefully pain-free.

Let’s get started.

Galadriel and Halbrand's relationship in canon

Season 1

The showrunners have expressed that their vision for Galadriel and Halbrand's storyline was not meant to emphasize a romantic angle, reflecting their creative intentions.

"Gennifer Hutchison, an executive producer in the first two seasons, [and] writer on the show, she said 'everyone's gonna ship these two!'" McKay reveals. "We're like, 'that's crazy. They're enemies. What? What are you talking about?' So, Genny, you were right."

I believe in the concept of the "death of the author," so to me, it doesn't matter what the author's intentions were; I perceived the relationship between Galadriel and Halbrand/Sauron as entirely romantic—complicated, but romantic nonetheless.

Payne adds: "I think whenever you have two talented, thematic people like this in scenes together it's very natural [that] people [are] gonna pick up on the chemistry that they have between them. It's just part of the nature of their drama, and so it's not so surprising."

However, I also recognize that interpreting Galadriel and Halbrand/Sauron as mere enemies is just as valid as my interpretation (maybe more). I simply choose not to let others dictate how I should enjoy fiction. We should learn to distinguish between antis and people who have different opinions. Everyone deserves the right to share their views in the ship tag. Respect is the key.

Season 2

In season 2, the relationship between Galadriel and Sauron is presented with more subtlety than in the previous season. Some (myself included) see this as a positive development. Throughout the season, Galadriel and Sauron seem to carry the weight of each other’s absence, adding a poignant layer to their connection. The themes of longing and absence resonate deeply, reflecting the complexity of their experiences. As we reach the final confrontation, we see Galadriel in a state of vulnerability that we’ve rarely witnessed before, especially when she comes face to face with Halbrand once more. Yet, this Halbrand feels off, as Sauron has transformed in ways she/we (the audience) can't fully grasp. In that moment, Galadriel steps up to fight for herself, and it’s beautiful.

But the question remains: was it definitive?

What to expect?

While I don’t believe the creator’s intentions should dictate how we interpret canon, it is impossible to forget their intentions when it comes to what to expect from the show.

"And I think that will endure as long as the show endures, because they represent good and evil, right? They haven't fought their last battle yet.”

I believe that the story of Galadriel and Sauron is still unfolding and will likely be a recurring theme throughout the series. However, I am curious about how this will be portrayed in future seasons. Based on what we’ve seen so far in Season 2, it appears their relationship may continue to develop, though I don't foresee numerous romantic scenes, love declarations, or physical expressions of affection such as kisses or intimacy. A tender moment like a forehead touch might be the extent of it, but even that could just be hopeful speculation. I like this approach, though I can understand that it may not resonate with everyone, particularly those who are invested in the romantic aspect of the story.

I want to add that it’s great that Charlotte confirmed Galadriel's feelings for Halbrand! However, if the show had plans for a significant love confession later on, they probably wouldn't have talked about it in interviews, right? Nonetheless, I truly appreciate her for recognizing this interpretation and sharing it.

This brings me to another important point.

Is Galadriel and Hilbrand’s relationship the most important one on the show?

Thematically I’d say yes. They represent the two major forces in this conflict. Light vs Darkness. Good vs evil. That will never change.

However, narratively, I don’t think that perspective is accurate. Other relationships are just as important, if not more so. Not to be controversial, but especially in Season 2, the relationship that the writers seem to find more interesting is between Galadriel and Elrond. This makes sense, considering they are the ones who survive in the end. Although I often joke about Elrond being exasperated by Galadriel's feelings toward Sauron, that dynamic never actually occurs in the show. Their conflict is not about Sauron; it revolves around the broken trust between Galadriel and Elrond.

It is essential to recognize that while some may consider G/S to be the focal point of the show, that perspective doesn’t justify feelings of anger toward those who appreciate different aspects or have contrasting views on the canon. Everyone has their interpretations and preferences, and it's perfectly valid for fans to connect with various elements of the story.

The demand for more scenes in the show because "that's what the fans want" is really absurd. Just because one person's experience differs from another's doesn't mean everyone feels the same way. I watch the show because I love Tolkien and the world he created, and I want to see more of it. Reducing the show to just "The Ballad of Galadriel and Sauron" is simply not accurate.

And reducing Galadriel’s story to just her relationship with Sauron doesn’t fully capture her character's depth. She is much more than a romantic figure, and her narrative goes far beyond just grappling with her feelings for Sauron. That relationship is just a small part of her overall journey, and there’s so much more to appreciate about her story!

There are so many wonderful stories to tell! While I absolutely adore these two characters, I think it would be a bit of a missed opportunity to limit the show to just their love story. Exploring a variety of storylines will make the whole experience more enjoyable for everyone, rather than just focusing on what a few fans might wish for.

There is probably more but right now I’m fused so…

I won’t post this in the ship tags because I don’t want to upset others or cause emotional reactions to fictional characters. Perhaps I should share this in the silvergifting tag, as I was advised to do. According to the lore, good H*ladriels belong in the h/s tag, while the "bad" H*ladriels go to silvergifting heaven! (Just a joke—hope that's okay!)

#the rings of power #rings of power #trop #rop #Galadriel #halbrand #Sauron

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copperbadge · 6 months ago

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Custom Wax Stamps

banesidhe

Would you be willing to share the source for custom stamps? I also do these and have had a hard time finding stamps with what I want on them

Oh sure! I hope it's okay that I pulled this out into its own post, I didn't want to spam the OP on the other. Apologies in advance if you know any of what I'm about to say, I'm just going to infodump and I want to make sure I don't miss anything. I will say that the process was smooth and pretty painless for me, much more so than I expected.

As preface, if you haven't been to the Craspire website, they have acres of stamps for very cheap, and I think the vast majority of sellers on Amazon/Ebay/Etsy actually just dropship from Craspire. If you're looking for variety, I'd definitely look there. (If you have, again, apologies, it just took me a while to find it and I spent more than I should have on a couple of my stamps before I started buying direct from them, so I like to make sure I mention it.)

There are a ton of shops on Etsy offering custom stamps, with wildly varying prices -- when I was doing research I saw one that was $55 for just the stamp, and another that was $30 because you couldn't buy the stamp without a starter-kit bundled in (furnace, spoon, wax). Definitely don't pay that much. I didn't get super exhaustive with my research because I couldn't really find a better price than a shop that I'd already done business with, and I knew they were reliable, so I just stuck with them. The shop is PraeyDesigns -- they have reasonable rates overall and everything I've bought from them has been good quality, so they're one of my go-tos for both stamps and wax (there's cheaper wax available but I like their selection). They offer a number of different sales pages for custom seals, so I'll link direct to this one, the one I purchased.

On that page, the third image lists the sizes they offer -- I bought the 3cm oval because I needed it "long" to accommodate the tail on my image. For reference, most larger stamps you buy prefab are 4cm rounds, most of the smaller stamps are 3cm rounds; that particular page only offers up to 3cm but PraeyDesigns does have other custom stamp pages that offer 4cm. In any case, it looks like the page just offers you the chance to pick from a variety of designs, but they do explicitly offer custom engraving from your own image; under "add your personalization" you should give the size head you want and then say, "I have an image for a design, please message and I will send it to you."

They reached out about 24 hours after I purchased, through Etsy, and asked for the image; this is what I sent them, also through Etsy's messenger function, and the result:

I'm given to understand that they generally have to retrace the image regardless of size or quality to turn it into a vector, so they can take a fairly low-res image and do a lot with it, but I tried to give them as clean a JPG as I could to work with. While the result is not absolutely identical, for an engraving smaller than a quarter it's pretty damn accurate and I think most of the minor shifts in design were for clarity's sake.

But I was pleased it really was that simple -- I bought the item, they said "Please send the design", I sent it, they confirmed they had it, and I didn't hear from them again until they sent me the shipping notification. Potentially if you don't have as clean an image they might need to talk to you about issues with the design, so I would make sure you have a very clean-line black-and-white image to send, but they seem pretty competent and they do good work.

Love to see what you get if you end up getting one! Definitely tag me. :)

#wax sealing #wax stamps #banesidhe

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skyrislunaflower · 2 months ago

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I Love Us

Honestly, I'm so, so very glad AvA is the first fandom I've actually been an active participant in.

LONG RANT INCOMING

Throughout the years, I have "been in fandoms", but I never felt like posting my own art or works, commenting on vids (i didn't have a youtube account back then, still don't), or being anything other than a silent observer.

Back in March, when I came home from that math competition, and found AvMath in my recommendeds, and just clicked on it, I did not expect to get dragged into a fandom about stick figures, of all things. I remember watching AvPhysics directly after, then finding "Wanted", and watching it with no context. I remember going to the wiki, seeing all of the content that was made, and and binging AvM and the actual shorts and literally everything else.

And most of all, I remember thinking, "I wish I could just erase all of this from my mind and experience the magic all over again."

In May, I took a chance and went to Ao3. I knew it was a site to post fanfiction, but it had never been something I was interested in. But I was just curious, to see if fanfiction about this amazing fandom really existed. I didn't have an account, no; I think I just wanted to see.

There were about 1600-1700 fics on there about AvA, during that time. I didn't know how hits worked or kudos worked, but I just remember scrolling down until I could find something that looked like a lot of people had liked it.

And even then, I clearly remember the first fic I touched. "Identity", by LeenaFreeBird (I'll link it at the bottom). I absolutely loved it. I spent the rest of the month simply reading, and consuming all of the cool hcs, learning what fan terms meant, having an idea for my own fic that I thought, back then, I could never write.

Because I didn't.

I never made an account or wrote. I never left comments because part of me though people without an account wouldn't be able to, and that was just habit, at this point.

And even though I stepped slightly away from there in the months of June and July (we were in the process of moving halfway across the country, I had just watched the new Demon Slayer season, and upon recommendation had binged all of Haikyuu in a week), I always made sure to keep updated on whatever new AvA/M videos had been posted.

In August, I went back on Ao3.

SO MANY AMAZING FICS HAD BEEN WRITTEN IN THE SPAN I WAS AWAY.

I remember binging all of them for the month. I sat alone at lunch (as I was new I didn't have any friends), just reading them on my phone and getting sucked back into there.

In September AvI began. On a whim I logged back into my tumblr account that I had made like 5 years ago in 4th grade to post random rambling stuff about my life (I tagged nothing but my username wth), and redid my entire blog. I was sooo happy when one of my posts reached 100 notes.

I felt way stronger, and way braver. I joined the invite queue for Ao3, because I decided I DID want an account, and I DID want to post my own fics.

And everyone was (and is) SO NICE about it. They love my fics and posts (which I still consider really crappy, btw) to pieces, and always give me good comments. Even my bad fanart (another thing I got the courage to post during this time). Shipping wars never happen here (if they did, I wouldn't know about it). Rarepairs are appreciated, and we unanimously know the ships that should be completely illegal (not naming ship names here).

Everything and everyone is loved, and this is like the one little corner of the Internet where mostly all is safe and your opinion is valued. Sure, your fan theory may be wrong, but people here don't go and tell you "that's so stupid lol, no way that's true". They'll give you actual feedback, explain the evidence that falsifies it, or add to it because they like it.

Even on YouTube, if someone posts a yellue ship video, for example, they'll get hate, or "the color quad are just siblings lol", or "they r stickmen why are u shipping them". If someone HCs Blue as a girl (ik that's been debunked where we are at rn), they'll get a comment saying "it's stickman for a reason".

Like, let people have their opinions. Alan has never confirmed the color quad as siblings, or their origin story. I know he has said that he would like to avoid romance by not making female characters, but it's not like the people who ship yellue or grapeduo barge up to his door and demand he makes it canon. They're just peaceful, and everything that you're saying is fanon. For all we know, four different animators could have collabed on the sticksfight website and each animated a different character (not saying that's true, but we don't know).

And even with hollowhead pairs. Alan created them, yes, but how does Creator transfer to father in this scenario? We don't know, because he hasn't confirmed the hollowheads as siblings either. They still get hate on YouTube.

But Tumblr just loves everyone. The AvA community, for example, will always make you feel like you posted something good. They lift you up, not put you down. They appreciate your headcanons because it provides a new way of looking at things.

They appreciate you.

I feel so much better about putting myself out there, and I know I will do so more in the future. I now cannot comprehend how someone can see all of this content and think "they are just stick figures". No they aren't. They are stick figures with trauma, feelings, pain, heroic qualities, fatal flaws.

You, tumblr, makes me feel this way.

Thank you so much.

(I did not expect to rant about my entire journey when I was supposed to be talking about how amazing the AvA tumblr fandom is, but now that I have I'll just keep it. Here's the fic I was talking about)

#animator vs animation #my journey #first actual fandom #animation vs minecraft #irislunace #ava blue (mentioned once)#rant post

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sleepyc63 · 11 days ago

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Why Looks to the Moon and Five Pebbles are family, and why Moonstone is considered a comship: An analysis of both vanilla and Downpour versions of Rain World

Hello! I know this isn't what I usually post, but this topic has been gaining some traction recently and I'd like to add my opinion to it.

This is very long so I’m adding a cut here -- Disclaimers and Discussion below!

A few disclaimers:

-> I am not going to be judging the morality of proshipping/comshipping/etc. This is solely meant to clear up misinformation, those conversations should be taken elsewhere.

-> I will be putting this in the #rw moonstone tag. As stated above, this is only meant to clear up misinformation. I do not want to be associated with the ship itself, nor do I want to offend people who like it. I'd like to put my personal biases aside and look at this from an entirely neutral lens.

-> All information is taken and interpreted from the dialogue within Rain World (copy/pasted from the wiki). I’m not going to be referencing outside material. If anything in this post has been debunked by a dev, please let me know (and provide screenshots, please. I won't believe you otherwise, lol). ***Post editing update: I used outside info once as a joke, and even then I provided a link. Is this extra? Maybe. But at least you can't say I don't know what I’m talking about.

-> Due to the fact that there is very little to go off of, I will be pulling from the same bits of dialogue more than once.

-> In character dialogue I will clarify who is speaking based on color: Quoting a Benefactor, LTTM, FP, SRS, NSH. Plain text is misc.

-> Yes, I call the 'Ancients' Benefactors.

Please, be respectful. I don't mean to start discourse, only polite discussion.

With that out of the way, we can move on.

First, I will add my reasoning as to why I believe they are siblings in the vanilla version of the game.

1) They consider the Benefactors as parental, and were (most likely) created by the same Colony of Benefactors.

" 'The Moral Argument: Five Pebbles is our Creation, and we have Parental Obligations towards him. As an Iterator, he is also a Gift of Charity from Us to The World (unable to reach Enlightenment by itself - being composed mostly of Rock, Gas, dull witted Bugs and Microbes - and towards which We thus have Obligations)'...And then there are polite farewells. None of us really miss the times when their cities were populated. Imagine having skin parasites that also ask for advice and have opinions...I'm sorry, that was disrespectful. They were our parents after all. "

- Pale Green Pearl, located in the Exterior

As you can see, it is directly stated -- not hinted at or implied -- that the Iterators see the Benefactors that created and lived on them as parental or familial figures. Why does this matter in relation to Moon and Pebbles?

" It's about the local aquifer - it must be quite old, from when Five Pebbles was in the planning phase...Building Pebbles so close to me was believed to be a risky choice, but the groundwater was finally deemed as sufficient. It was not a good decision, in hindsight. "

- Bright Purple Pearl, located in Shoreline

Here, it is confirmed that Moon and Pebbles were built unusually close together -- as we should all know. This also implies that the Benefactors of Moon's City were the ones who built Pebbles; This can be assumed as the pearl is found on what once was Moon's facility.

We don't know the intention of this choice, however, if both Moon and Pebbles consider their creators as parents, it isn't a stretch to assume they consider each other siblings as well. If anything, they are family.

This is the most damning evidence I have, so everything else is built off of this assumption that they are related in this way.

2) Moon is named "Big Sister Moon" in iterator chatlogs

I’m not going to add every time she is called this, but I will add one as an example:

" 1650.800 - PRIVATE. Five Pebbles, Chasing Wind, Big Sis Moon, No Significant Harassment "

- Sky Islands Pearl 3

It's easy to assume this is Moon's nickname, given to her by her friends (assuming her plushie blurb is a trustworthy source, lol). The nickname likely originates from her being Pebbles' older sister-figure. It's also possible that everyone in her group sees her as an older sister of sorts, however this would still include Pebbles as her brother-figure. I personally interpret the former, but that's just my opinion.

3) Sharing facilities is a metaphor for being from the same family.

***This is inspired from another user, but I couldn't find the original post to credit it. If the original poster would like to be credited via @ or a link, let me know and I will happily do so!

As proved in point 1, as well as many times throughout the game, Moon and Pebbles were built usually close together, most importantly sharing groundwater. As water is essential to the Iterators, sharing it is obviously not done without purpose. They aren't just two random Iterators next to each other -- they were put together for a reason.

Read this excerpt with this theory in mind -- makes sense, right?

" It's about the local aquifer - it must be quite old, from when Five Pebbles was in the planning phase...Water is the most important resource for our basic function. Most of our processing is outsourced to microbe strata which need a flow of clean water or else slag builds up, our processes seize, and eventually we die...Building Pebbles so close to me was believed to be a risky choice, but the groundwater was finally deemed as sufficient. It was not a good decision, in hindsight. "

- Bright Purple Pearl, located in Shoreline

This claim is arguably up to interpretation, but I still decided to include it to explain my reasoning further.

4) They have a huge age gap.

While this doesn't contribute to them being siblings, it does enforce my point of Moonstone being a comship.

" Originally water supply was very important when placing iterators. Later there would be a great equalizer - the fact that we breathe out as much vapor as we inhale water led to there being water available everywhere, and the latest few generations could be placed almost completely freely...Building Pebbles so close to me was believed to be a risky choice, but the groundwater was finally deemed as sufficient. It was not a good decision, in hindsight. "

- Bright Purple Pearl, located in Shoreline

If not self explanatory: Moon was a part of the first generations of Iterators built, and Pebbles' one of the last. If they aren't siblings, they have an age gap that potentially spans multiple generations.

I will also include quotes from Downpour, where it is confirmed.

I am aware this isn't what people are normally talking about when this is brought up, but it's important to add anyway.

Keep in mind that the original developers had a say in Downpours' release. Downpour is a Canon AU, it isn't just a fanmade mod anymore. The influence that Downpour has is undeniable, and it deserves to be included in these conversations.

" BSM: And as your Big Sis, you know how protective I am of you!~ BSM: ... BSM: I'm sorry, Five Pebbles. I'll always be here if you need someone to talk to. "

- Looks to the Moon, Rivulet ending cutscene

" SRS: She was appointed as Pebbles' superior. She has the power to stop him. NSH: I've been very close with Moon, and I can tell you she is incredibly caring. "

- Spearmaster Broadcast, Story (Gray) 6

" SRS: It was an odd situation, to be certain. It's quite rare for one iterator to be made the administrator of another. Just as rare as them being built right next to each other. NSH: His lack of appreciation used to bother me. Moon was a great big sister to him! "

- Spearmaster Broadcast, Story (Gray) 7

" GS: It's Five Pebbles - The one near Looks To The Moon. SI: Isn't she his senior, enough to the point where she calls herself Big Sister Moon? What about asking her? "

- Spearmaster Broadcast, Industrial Complex (Light Blue)

Keep in mind that these are private conversations between the Iterators -- not necessarily speaking formally, or to a lesser being, as we experience as the Slugcat. This is important later.

Now, I am going to be taking apart common arguments I see.

1) "They are only confirmed to be siblings in Downpour."

This, while technically true, can easily be argued against by the evidence I included above. Also, if they're siblings in Downpour, a canon AU, why is it such a stretch to assume it can't be the same in vanilla? They are shown to be explicitly related in Downpour, and while this isn't fully canon, why should a retcon as simple as confirming two characters to be siblings be dismissed as unimportant when discussing something as serious as incest?

2) "If they aren't canon outside of Downpour, then why is it considered incest in the base game?"

If I am wrong, and they weren't intended to be siblings in the original release, then it's at least a retcon. Yes, retcons can be annoying and inconvenient, but that doesn't make them any less relevant.

Besides, because Downpour got so popular, they were introduced as siblings to nearly everyone who's currently in the fandom. This means in fandom spaces, they are near universally considered to be siblings, whether you agree with it or not.

3) "Iterators are robots, and robots can't have biological family."

There are two things wrong with this statement -- It implies that Iterators are robots, and implies that romantic/sexual relationships between adoptive family members is not incest.

I'll start with the first claim: Iterators are never stated in game to be robots. Bio-Mechanical, yes, but people seem to ignore the "bio" part far too frequently. They are grouped with purposed organisms, stated by Moon herself:

" Do you know what a purposed organism is? Actually you are talking to one right now!Although, a small fraction of one. Nowadays I am mostly just my puppet. The bulk of me is in these walls but I am disconnected from those parts, to a degree where I am only vaguely aware of how bad their condition is. "

- Bright Magenta Pearl, located in Shoreline

***If anyone wants to hear more about this i will happily do so. I have a LOT to say on this topic.

Moon blatantly states that she is a purposed organism, directly comparing herself to a pipe cleaner slug. It's not confirmed that Moon & Pebbles are biologically related -- but at the same time, there's nothing saying they aren't. Hell, the sharing groundwater point I mentioned earlier could even tie into this.

And, no, I am not implying that a Benefactor could give birth to an Iterator, but they are still the Iterators' creators, therefore their parents. You don't have to be biologically related to be family, and in Moon & Pebbles case, they seem to consider each other family regardless of biological relation.

4) " 'Big Sister' may refer to Moon being his mentor figure."

I think this is a completely fair conclusion to come to, because they do call each other friends/neighbors more often than family.

" However, it seems this delivery was not intended for me. Everything suggests it was tailored for the specific predicaments of a friend of mine. Her name is Looks to the Moon, and her state is considerably worse than mine. She's a short distance to the east of here - much shorter than customary. A circumstance that has led to some difficulties between us. "

- Five Pebbles, Hunter Campaign

***I added the most relevant vanilla dialogue, but there are ~3 other instances (BG & DP) of Moon & Pebbles calling each other neighbors or old friends.

I personally don't think this means anything, simply the Iterators being overly formal (Remember the DP chats I added earlier?), but I see where people are coming from with this claim. Still -- with the information released in downpour, I think it should be assumed that this is either 1) retconned, or 2) just a speaking habit of the Iterators.

If anything, this claim further helps my point of Moonstone being a comship, as it would imply a mentor/student relationship.

Why am making this post?

Shipping is a very popular topic in all fandom spaces, and as a result, so is comshipping. No matter how you feel about it, there is one thing we should all agree on: Providing a warning when creating harmful content is important. Even in online spaces, people have a right to control what content they consume, and they can't have this control if we can't agree on what counts as sensitive content or not, or even worse, not tag at all.

You are not sensitive for not wanting to see harmful content, as well as you are not pure evil for engaging with this content either. As long as you are respectful and aware that this can hurt people, I truly do not have an issue. Just please, tag your posts with #sibling incest or #age gap, as that is what is canon to the game, whether you like it or not.

***As far as I know, nothing has happened as a result of this, at least not on a large scale. It is still important to mention, and especially important if I can help prevent this before someone is hurt.

I am making this because I don't want to see this become a topic of discourse in the Rain World fandom; I want to help stop it before it begins. I acknowledge that the people spreading misinformation are a vocal minority, and I hope it stays that way.

Let me clarify one final time: By making this post, I am not telling you that you should stop shipping Moonstone, nor that you should harass people that do. All that I want to come out of this post is respect and understanding. DO NOT use my words to harass ANYONE. I will not tolerate that.

Thank you for reading :D I appreciate if you listened to my yapping. I’m open to discussion, as long as you’re respectful!

Byeeeeeee :3

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dcufans4palestine · 5 months ago

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🇵🇸 Commission Sheet Guide 🇵🇸

Commission sheets should be posted on tumblr on July 20!

Necessary Info:

1. Prices!! It is completely up to the author how much you would like people to donate in exchange for your writing. There are no price minimums or maximums. Here are a couple of examples of how you could price your work for fanfiction:

Set price: $10 for a fic up to 1.5k words

Price tiers: $5 for a ficlet under 1k, $10 for a fic 1k-2k, $20 for a fic 2k-4k, etc.

Per word: $1 per 100 words (if you do this, we recommend including a max word count)

Here are some examples for how you could price your work for fanart:

Set price: $5 for a quick sketch/doodle

Price tiers: $10 for an uncolored sketch, $20 for a portrait, $35 for a full-body drawing, etc.

You may also include add-ons: $10 for rendering, $15 for each additional character, etc.

Important to note that if you are donating multiple types of work (i.e. fanart and fanfic) you should include separate pricing instructions for each, or create multiple commission sheets.

2. What DCU properties you are willing to write for (can include specific ships, characters, etc.)

3. Don't forget to tag us as @dcufans4palestine so people know to check the blog for more info on donating‼️‼️

4. Please specify if you are providing NSFW works. If you are providing NSFW works, please provide a disclaimer that only people 18+ may request NSFW works.

Recommended Info:

-> If you have any hard boundaries, please list those out.

-> If you would like people to reach out to you before sending in donations so you can confirm if you will be willing to fulfill their prompt. You can also ask people to reach out for certain circumstances (i.e. message me if you would like a fic over 5k and we can discuss pricing options; message me if you’d like a ship I didn’t list and I will let you know if I am open to that). Include the best way to contact you

-> We also recommend adding examples of your prior work. This can be links, photos, etc.

Optional Info:

-> If you would like people to donate to a specific cause, please specify that in your post. If you do not, we will assume you are okay with donors donating to any of the causes in our carrd.

-> If you have a maximum amount of commission slots available, please include that in your post and message us if you are closing your commissions before August 10

-> You can include anything else you wish to, such as specific tropes you enjoy, info on why you joined this event, or anything else!

#dcu commissions for palestine #dcu fans for palestine

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darsynia · 1 year ago

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Shipping and Handling | Ch 3: Gravity

(Stucky x Reader slow burn, Steve x Reader fast burn, Friendship all around)

SERIES MASTERLIST | STORY MASTERLIST | PREV | NEXT

Summary: There’s a chance you and Steve aren’t the only people dealing with the strange chemical bond from Mistress, so you agree to submit to daily tests that should help Dr. Banner figure out what’s happening, and maybe how to stop it. The problem? Seeing each other every day brings a new set of side-effects that both of you hide from each other and Banner until things come to a head– not just for the two of you, but also for the man who has to deal with you: Bucky Barnes. Length/Warnings: 4,631 / sexual situations, 'dere's some TOUCHING

Tags: (please request!) @munstysmind @ronearoundblindly @chickensarentcheap @themaradaniels @tiny-anne @deepbatched @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @wolfstar-marvelsfan @icequeen1371 @chibijusstuff @nekoannie-chan @brooke0297 @caplanreblogsfics @hails270105 @venusfalling @zzz000eee @eralen @mrsevans90 @myinconnelly1 @thorinsmistress13 @cjand10 @wckedheart @samfreakingwinchester @blind-devil @sanniegirl1214 @karimac @dispatchvampire @beautifulchaos723 @weirdpeoplecoolpeople

Excerpt:

I could get out of here so quick it’d make the ‘weird news’ section, Bucky thinks to himself. He’s seated on the concrete up against the wall, knees up, glowering at the rest of the men in the same containment cell. The tight pressure of his pants is punishing against his erection, but the alternative doesn’t bear thinking about.

“Hey Colada, you gonna kill me with your eyes?” one of the gym rat assholes calls out from across the room.

“Depends. Your head hurt yet?” he asks, not bothering to raise his voice.

“Fuck, you ain’t kidding, man is scary as shit!” The man shoves his companion and turns his back, unintentionally showing off the greasy blonde mullet he’s sporting.

Not for the first time, Bucky thanks the combination of circumstances that’s kept him from needing a mindless fuck. The desperate want has been gnawing away at his insides for over an hour, but it’s at least manageable so far. His clothes reek of coconut, and the part of him that remembers going undercover in the past is cooked with laughter. His leather-clad punk rock piña colada smelling ass isn’t flying under any kind of radar, not even in a drunk tank full of genuine idiots.

Chapter Three: Gravity

Once inside the car (a limo, of all things), Steve guides you to the back into the curved corner seat before retreating as far away from you as he can get. He doesn’t have a fever, but his blood is on fire, both in desire and a strong need to protect you.

From himself, if necessary.

“Steve?”

Your objection to the distance between you is plaintive, but he looks down at his tightly clasped hands, not trusting himself until he can get his breathing under control. “We’ve got to get you to Bruce as soon as possible.”

“Oh yes, exactly the penetration I need: a needle in my arm!” you grumble. Steve can’t hold back his shocked reaction, which prompts you to wince and look away. After the driver eases the limo out into the heavy traffic, you add quietly, “How the heck did you resist this?”

“I didn’t.”

The tiny sound you let out on hearing that goes straight to his groin. Your next words help him regain his composure though.

“Steve, I’m scared. I don’t want to be a guinea pig for some kind of experimental treatment, but I don’t want to force you into anything either.” you whisper. “Maybe I could see if--”

“No.”

Steve barks out the word, caught in the grip of fierce possessiveness. His hands ache as he pours all his strength into keeping his fingers intertwined, instead of reaching out. The thought of someone else, someone not him…

“I didn’t even finish the sentence!”

He shakes his head, mind racing to find an explanation that doesn’t make him look like he is overstepping. “Secondary transfer is going strong. I pictured someone else touching you, and--” he breaks off, lifting his eyes to yours. Something you see in them has you unbuckling and coming over to rest your warm hand on his forehead. Muttering something about overheating, you start undoing the first few buttons of his dress shirt. “Dee,” Steve groans, unable to conceal the stress in his tone.

He catches your wrists as gently as possible, but that just reveals that the backs of his hands are lined with fingerprint bruises. You tut as the already-healing wounds catch your eye.

“It’s just like you to apologize for trying to keep your hands to yourself!” you say, but all other admonitions die on your lips as you watch the self-inflicted marks disappear. “That’s… that’s like magic,” you breathe. “Bruce really did pick the perfect person to try to figure this whole thing out. And then I had to go and screw things up!”

“Your being in the apartment was an accident, one I don’t blame you for.” He uses as firm a tone as he can, but your face crumples a little, sweat beading up along the furrows of your regretful expression.

“I shouldn’t have come over here. I only had about five minutes of coherent brain power left.” Your voice is barely a whisper, reaching your hand out and resting it gently over his heart.

“Spent most of that on reassuring me.”

You close your eyes tightly and nod, saying, “You deserve better than to deal with this whole ridiculous situation again.”

On hearing this, Steve makes a decision, reaching over to tap a message to the driver on the communication pad hidden on a panel nearby. Tony sometimes messes around with it when he ropes him into doing Avengers events, something Steve never thought he’d come to appreciate.

He rests his hand on yours and says, “When we met, I chose to trust you because Bucky trusts you. None of that has changed.” He pauses for a reaction, but you’ve got your teeth firmly embedded in your lip, your entire body tense with concern about what else he might say. He’d rather you didn’t have your eyes closed, but he remembers how hard it was to use logic and reason after being dosed with Mistress. “No matter what happens afterwards, Bruce has to know how direct exposure affects you, so I need to ask: do you trust me?”

You open your eyes to blink at him, and Steve notes how blown your pupils are. Knowing it’ll make things temporarily worse, but needing a response, he cups your face with his hand. Almost instinctively, you angle into him as you nod, showing both a conscious and unconscious sign of trust.

The limo pulls over to the curb and he lifts your hand from his chest to press a kiss onto the back of it. Bucky would probably complain he looks like some kind of knight errant. Shaking that thought off, Steve gets up and makes his way to the door, saying over his shoulder, “Try not to burn me in effigy till you get to the Tower, all right?”

The despairing tone you use to call out his name slices at his conscience, but there’s no time to do anything more than start running to the tower. Exertion should burn off some of the lust, at least. He hopes he can get through all the things he’s planning in the twenty minutes before the limo’s projected to get there.

Your body had screamed in relief when Steve touched your face, but seconds later, he’s gone. At first, you’re confused. The limo sits for a while at the curb like it’s waiting for Steve to come back-- but finally it eases back into traffic, to your utter disappointment. You know the lust that’s prompting you to clench your thighs together for friction could all too easily take over.

It’s incredibly difficult to try to focus, but you pour all your mental efforts into the task of trying to remember just what Steve said before he abandoned you. You push past the moments of pleasure that crowd your mind, seeking a touchstone, something to keep your sanity intact--

Bruce. Bruce will want to test you. That means there’s a purpose to this torture.

You throw yourself back so you’re lying prone on the warmed leather of the limo’s seat, bending your knees toward your chest. The cool air on your exposed skin is hardly a relief at all, but the pressure from the shaping garment you’re wearing is oddly welcome.

“Well, that’s a first,” you mutter aloud. The sound of your voice is low and rough, undeniably sexy, and you light on that as something you ought to mark down for Banner.

When the limo stops and turns off its engine countless minutes later, you’ve only managed to scrawl something barely-legible about that observation onto a scrap of paper. It kept you busy, focusing your thoughts away from the heat licking through your body, and that’s what counts.

The door opens, and somehow, Steve leans in. “Time to fly to another perch, Chickadee,” he says gently, holding out his hand.

“How--” you breathe, moving toward him. Only now does it occur to you that you’re basically a million desires held loosely together by the wax of willpower alone. You don’t want to make Steve deal with that-- but those concerns melt away as you step out onto the sidewalk in front of the building and collapse against him in relief. Steve sweeps you up into his arms, dipping his head to press his lips to yours.

The kiss is intense after your solo minutes in the limo miserably conflagrating. You clutch at him, loving the safety of his strong arms bearing you up. All that exists in the whole world is Steve, a good man, a trustworthy man, someone who knows exactly what you need. You bury your fingers in his hair to encourage him, eagerly anticipating the moment when he’ll lay you down and take you, the only thing that will heal the wounds caused by Mistress.

Except, for the second time in a half hour, that’s not what happens.

Steve pulls back from the kiss, apologizing right away when the bright light from the exam room he’s carried you into makes you recoil against his neck in surprise.

A cool, unwelcome hand catches your upper arm, turning you away from Steve just as he adjusts his grip to bring you to a stand.

“Just a little pinch!” a woman’s voice says. It’s not Dr. Lyonne, and Bruce is nowhere to be seen. Behind you, you can hear Steve’s unhappy voice demanding… something, but there’s a ringing in your ears, and everything goes wavy and indistinct after that.

You experience only flashes of the next minutes-- the solid chair under you as your blood is taken, the insistent voice asking questions about the evening, icewater through a straw held to your lips, but mostly you’re focused on keeping from reaching out and begging everyone around you to end the torment burning through your veins. Through the pervasive lust you’re wracked with, a single horrid thought keeps emerging.

Is this what Steve felt like that day?

It becomes louder than anything else, until you reach up and cover your ears with both hands, closing your eyes so tightly that the pressure flashes like fireworks.

“Dee?”

On any other day, Steve might touch your shoulder to get your attention, but he knows that you don’t have your eyes cinched shut and your arms crossed and your body tensed up for nothing. The desire simmering in his own veins is bad enough without more contact scrambling his senses. So, he stops your wheelchair in front of the elevator doors without hitting the button, and walks around so the sound of his voice will come from in front of you.

“I don’t pretend to know what you’re going through, because this stuff hits everyone differently. I’m just going to give you some options.”

You do a curt little head nod, pressing your lips together tightly.

“Option one is to head to a room to take care of things yourself, however long that might take. We’ve got an empty, furnished apartment set up if that’s your choice, with, ah,” his words fail him, but Steve pushes through. “--supplies.”

You make a choked noise in the back of your throat, and he rushes on to the next suggestion.

“Option two is to let you into our apartment, since you might feel safer there. Buck and I will use the other place in the meantime, till we get an all clear from you.” Bruce had suggested this, and Steve was doing his best not to picture it.

“Alone?” you whisper, sounding miserable.

Steve crouches down in front of the wheelchair, his heart clenched into as much of a fist as the hand he’s gripping the armrest with. His high-minded resolutions not to influence you have been shredded by the look on your face.

“Not alone, not if you don’t want to be. The third option is for me to stand by what I promised in the restaurant. To finish what we started, out in the car.”

Your breathing had been quick and distressed since he’d wheeled you out of Bruce’s lab, and as he watches, you struggle with your words, pulling in a breath only to let it out in furrowed-brow frustration twice. Finally, you let out a huff of a laugh and let your hands drop like you’ve given up trying to be diplomatic.

“Are we coworkers, thanks to all this? Do we need to get lawyers involved?”

“Oh, I’m sure Tony would love to get lawyers involved,” Steve groaned, “--but this is just between us. No surveillance and no pressure. The limo is parked in a private garage, it has tinted windows, and Stark’s AI guards all access. It’s the safest place I could think of without a chance of being interrupted or--”

“Yes.” Along with the fervent assent, you throw your head back, your whole body going through a kind of delighted shudder of relief that has Steve standing and walking a short distance away so he doesn’t do anything rash.

After a few deep breaths, he says, “I’m going to wheel you into the elevator, but if I’m honest, I’m not sure you’re in any condition to agree to this.”

“At least as much as you did, the day we met!” Your laugh sounds manic, but when Steve turns around, he catches you letting out a deep breath, your hands in fists on your lap. “If--” your voice falters, but you clear your throat and continue. “If you really think that, I can’t do this to you. I’ll… go up to the apartment.”

His own disappointment at that option slices through his inhibitions, and Steve hastens to refute the necessity of your offer. “Don’t do that to yourself. You won’t be able to fix this without me.”

“I know. But you should have the choice.”

He hits the elevator button and the doors open right away, offering a distraction from responding as he wheels you in-- but Steve Rogers isn’t much for avoiding tough things.

He ignores the part of his brain that points out that this isn’t tough at all.

“I do have the choice. Bruce said, and I quote, ‘I’ve never seen you walk away from someone in distress, and I don’t expect you to start now.’ He’s right.”

Steve forces himself to count to twenty as the elevator takes the two of you to the sub basement, but his veneer of control is shattered when the doors open and he looks down at you. You’ve leaned your head back to look up at him, desire etched across your features-- but equally present is an expression of utter trust.

It’s as much of an intoxicant to him as Mistress.

He walks around to block the door of the elevator, turning to hold a hand out for you. No way is he going to wheel you to the limo for what’s about to follow. Your immediate, confident grasp does a lot to assuage his concerns. The way you stumble into him right afterwards is just a symptom of the malady he knows just how to fix.

The empty wheelchair in the elevator will do nicely as an indicator to whom it may concern.

“God, I want you so much right now I’m basically a lit flame,” you whimper, twisting free of him and skip-stumbling over to the limo. Before he can stop you, you’ve opened the door and posed beside it in a wicked little gesture of sultry chivalry.

Multiple realizations hit Steve as he walks over.

He wants you, but he’s coming to realize he also wants you. As a person. You’re smart and compassionate, talented as all hell and beautiful inside and out. Steve’s never seen you act starstruck, yet you clearly respect Captain America as a facet of his personality. You’re joking about gallantry, but not to mock him. This… this is joyful, and he’d be willing to bet that if Bruce got ahold of a blood sample right now, he’d find that the minutes you’ve spent together have stabilized your desperate lust as much as his has been inflamed.

When he gets to the limo, you press yourself as close as you can, sliding your palms along his shoulders and his upper arms as you pull in a deep, steadying breath at his chest. A little whimper-sigh escapes your lips, reminding him of the urgency you’re caught up in, the need he’s forced you to delay satisfying for the greater good. Your whole body is trembling.

“I’ve got you,” Steve rasps into your ear-- and as if you’d both practiced the move, you hold onto his shoulders right as he lifts you up, your legs moving to bracket themselves around him. He bands a hand across your back to pull you into a desperate kiss, and the next coherent thought he has is to marvel that the inside of the limo has enough space for him to stretch out lengthways.

Everything is moving fast, and though he knows your body is willing, he needs to be sure your mind is on board. Even as he thinks this, you’ve already removed your top and are working on the rest of your clothes. The beauty of the lines of your body as you angle and arch sends his hips thrusting up against you.

Your hitched moan in response is almost enough for his compromised sense of what’s right, but not quite.

Steve catches your hands at your back as you struggle with your bra clasp. “Are you still in there? Can you consent?”

“They should do a study on how much your moral code makes me need you inside me,” you pant, rolling off of him to strip off everything from your lower half in record time. “That’s just wrong.”

He can’t resist.

“Are you saying you’re in distress, ma’am?” he asks as he rushes off his own clothes. Something rips, but that’s a problem for tomorrow.

You arch your back and throw your arm dramatically over your eyes. “Save me, Steve Rogers!”

He does.

Thoroughly.

“Hey Colada, you gonna kill me with your eyes?” one of the gym rat assholes calls out from across the room.

“Depends. Your head hurt yet?” he asks, not bothering to raise his voice.

“Fuck, you ain’t kidding, man is scary as shit!” The man shoves his companion and turns his back, unintentionally showing off the greasy blonde mullet he’s sporting.

His stomach lurches. The dousing of Mistress he’d gotten was more than the amount that fucker had splashed on Dee, but it was worth the exposure to knock the guy out. You’re probably going to be pissed at him, even though he’d used his flesh hand just for your sake.

Bucky allows himself a smile meant to unnerve the men watching him, but internally, he’s scrambling. Thinking about you had been a mistake, maybe a big one. He’d enjoyed your performance that night; you’d added subtle physical and vocal flourishes that showed your skill to captivate an audience, himself included. When he closes his eyes, he can see the sway of your hips, both as you sang and while you danced with Steve.

A surge of desire courses through him, and he has to rock his hips to stifle the effects with the seam of his trousers. The pain-pressure doesn’t help this time. The damned aphrodisiac is finally winning.

New subject. Now.

The sharp sound of a police baton knocking against metal bars rings out. “Barnes?”

Bucky lifts his head and sees two figures near the door to the large cell. Beside the policeman is a squirrely-looking lawyer type with a terrible toupee and obviously fake, non-matching facial hair. The man’s suit is oversized, enough to trigger a visual scan for weapons.

He gets up in one fluid motion, leaning his head down so his hair covers most of his face and deliberately hulks toward the door. Everyone between Bucky and the bars scurry out of the way, but he’s focused on the lawyer’s clear inconsistencies.

Thick-cut, ill fitting glasses Inability to stand still No eye contact Very high quality shoes

He chooses to lift his arms wide to grab the bars and lean forward, a dominant stance even in this caged madhouse.

“That ‘sposed to scare me?” the lawyer says-- and Bucky starts to cough instead of laughing. The lawyer is Tony Stark. He’s using an exaggerated New York voice, the kind you find on kids cartoons, but it’s him.

Bucky decides that ‘undercover’ for him right now is ‘over-cover.’ Drunk, horny, and indiscriminate.

“Do you like being scared?” He makes sure to slur his words just enough.

The policeman makes a terrible face and backs up. “Jesus how many did you drink?”

“I got a collection of umbrellas in my pants. Want one?” Bucky offers, reaching for his zipper.

“You can make me a bouquet of them in the car, buddy. Just keep those hands to yourself!” ‘sleazy lawyer Tony’ pronounces.

The officer’s eyes climb skyward. “I can keep ‘im in here for as long as you--”

“Sure, if you’ve got condoms.” Bucky smiles.

He’s never seen anyone unlock a cage so fast, not even when he was crushing someone’s windpipe as an inducement to hurry.

That thought’s enough to make him stumble through the now-open cell door. It’s funny how convenient inconvenient flashes of memory can be.

“C’mon Casanova, let’s get you into detox,” Stark drawls, adjusting his enormous fake glasses.

A shout of “It’s Colada!” follows them out of the hallway.

“Do I wanna know?” Stark leans over to ask, giving Bucky a strong whiff of the alcohol on his breath.

“I’m as sauced with that sex drug as you are with--”

“All right, all right,” his ‘lawyer’ interrupts loudly, shoving Bucky past the policeman guarding the door. Stark’s holding up an ID that could probably get him into the Pentagon, but for all that he appears sloppy, he’s remembered to bring the kind of ridiculous car his persona would drive. The two of them hop into the back seat and Stark rolls down the window to wave at the jailhouse. The momentum from his man Hogan stepping on the gas knocks the tipsy superhero on his ass and leaves his nasty toupee in Bucky’s lap.

He throws it out the window.

“That was rude!” Stark says, frowning.

“I don’t think your girl wants you to come home with any kind of Mistress.”

Stark wrinkles his nose as if finally recognizing the smell. “Right. Well, maybe don’t punch convicted felons and get on the scanner next time? That’s not the kind of heroism I was expecting from you, Colada.”

Fuck, that better not catch on. “Don’t.”

They’re pulling into the tower already, driving all the way down to Stark’s private garage. Bucky chews on the inside of his cheek, trying to stay inside until the car stops. The closer he gets to privacy and the ability to do something about the fire radiating from his groin, the more intense it burns.

Stark is busy looking affronted. “Hey, I’m the Stark itect of your escape out of jail, Barnes. You could say thank you.”

The car stops, and Bucky opens the door, saying as he gets out, “Thank you for keeping your bad puns until the end of the ride.”

There’s a limo parked near the elevator. It’s out of place, no driver visible, but the lights are on. It hadn’t occurred to him that Stark’s tower would have VIP guests. If he weren’t so fucking horny he’d investigate, but as it is, he can only rush past.

Bucky bursts into the apartment with almost no self control left. Inside, a part of him is screaming about loss of control, but he erases it with a hand on his cock. He’s standing in the fucking doorway with his pants at his ankles and he could not possibly care less. Everyone in the building should be grateful he shut the door at all.

He slams his head back against the wall behind him. The feeling of it giving way against his strength is as powerful as the liquid ecstasy coursing through his veins.

It’s been more than one lifetime since he’s felt the itch to be outrageous, but right now he almost wishes for Steve to walk in and see him, head practically buried in the wall, the rest of him on display. His body is bowed out in a taut arc centered on his cock, his movements electrified by the twice-damned aphrodisiac in his system. Bucky had kept his mind mercifully blank from picturing anything, but just as before he’s weakened the dam by thinking about Steve.

Steve had looked great in his suit, overdressed but classy, but that was Steve. He’d always been like that, even before he’d lucked into that body.

Fuck. Think about something else.

He’ll come in the doorway but he’ll be damned if he’ll come in the doorway thinking about his roommate. Society hasn’t ‘advanced’ that far.

Something ELSE, Buck.

His hand is gliding, the pleasure is unreal, and the entire slideshow in his head is Steve. Bucky dials back in time, even though he usually doesn’t invite the nightmares that can bestow unless he’s got a few days alone to deal with them. He skips past cone bras and miniskirts, bouffant hair and do-wop music, letting out a whine in the back of his throat as he’s almost, almost there, but not quite.

Just as he’s got the perfect image of a pin-up dame in his head with the right shade of lipstick, the thought that he might not get to come crashes in like a neon Times Square sign dropped by a helicopter.

Bucky’s eyes open wide and his hand stops, then drops to his side. He’s still a live wire of erotic voltage right now but the chance that might become a permanent state of being has him wrenching his head from the wall.

He thinks back. What had you told him about this, what had you done? Is this related? There's zero chance you won't feel responsible if it is.

His lust-addled mind mixes every thought he’s had in the past five minutes into a psy-op worthy of the absolute worst HYDRA’s ever managed: an image of you superimposed on that red-lipsticked siren of a minute ago. A jolt of need draws his hand back to try to finish with your sultry voice at the vintage microphone as the soundtrack.

In his mind, Bucky sees you throw your head back to croon something that sounds so much like lovemaking it’s enough to send him, and he falls to his knees shooting ropes of grateful release all over the floor in front of him.

It’s one of the best he’s ever had, almost worth the mess he’s made.

Fuck.

Your head’s thrown back, hips rocking at a pace you’d never be able to manage without Steve’s solid hand supporting your arched back as shards of honeyed pleasure start to strike from the oncoming storm of an orgasm. He’d promised to hold back, worried he’d hurt you, but with a groan you start begging.

“Steve let go, come with me, I can take it. I need you, I--”

He whimpers your name and complies, obliging but forceful, his powerful thrusts in perfect time with yours until seconds later, Steve slams his hand down beside you and comes. The very feel of it prompts your orgasm, pitching you forward onto his chest in a sobbing puddle of relief and ecstasy.

Neither of you moves, still connected, as both of you catch your breath.

“Is it me or was that even better than--” You stop, unwilling to say ‘usual’ or ‘before’ because you are not, not going to acknowledge aloud that you have an ongoing sexual, but not romantic relationship with Steve Rogers.

Just thinking that reveals that the hurricane of pleasure earlier came with some piercing debris you’d rather not try to heal right now.

“I’d say yes.”

To be continued...

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