#should I seek professional help lol

[nothing-impt]

Just had a random headcanon for the Fried Chicken Au (I should really stop thinking) where Telemachus uses Lawn flamingo Dionysus as a club or some sort weapon to fight the suitors and the convo would go like this: Flamingo Dionysus (Dioningo): Come great-great grand nephew! To battle! Telemachus: Yes, Lord Dionysus! *Picks up Dioningo by the feet and swings him around to attack the suitors* Antinous: What the fuck?

[landhoe-norris]

it's so funny when posts about george saying shit about lando get 500+ notes about george being "so funny so bitchy so true so get her jade" while lando does the same thing and it's "lando is a flop jealous bitch he deserves to get shot on sight"

[malkaviian]

chase is not the healthiest person to get into a relationship with. and now that i developed him more, caspian definitely also isn't. managing untreated mental illness and a relationship can be a bit hard sometimes. they're doing their best because they love each other so much, though.

[tarotwithlucien]

𝓨ou in the eyes of your future spouse | pick a pile

Hello everybody! Welcome to my first PAP on this account – it's also the first time I've done one about "future spouse", so I hope you like it and that it resonates with you! ♡

┈─★ Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purposes only and shouldn't be taken seriously or used as a substitute for medical and professional advice. It's also a general reading, so it may or may not resonate with you.

┈─★ How to choose: Close your eyes, take a deep breath and choose the image that catches your attention the most – trust your intuition.

₊‧ʚ・︵︵ ₊˚๑ masterist | tip jar ₊ ︵︵・₊﹆ɞ‧₊

── .✦ PILE 1

Shufflemancy: Moonlight/Sunrise - Rope and Ladder, It's Not The Same Anymore - Red Orange County, To - The Neighbourhood, Love Songs For The Haters - FLEECE & Maintain The Madness - The Jane Austin Argument.

Without a doubt your future spouse loves you – otherwise they wouldn't even marry you lol – and they are a protective partner towards you, so in general, they see you as someone they should protect and care for. Therefore, they can act as your knight in armor when you need it, as they are always ready to protect and defend you from all those who try to hurt you.

They also view your relationship dynamics as if you are the sun and the moon – for some of you reading this pile, you are more the moon and your future spouse is the sun or vice versa. Your future spouses see you as a beautiful and attractive person – as if you were a mermaid who mesmerizes them with your enchanting beauty. And one of the physical features they love most about you in general are your eyes because, in the eyes of your future partner, they shine in a way that they have never seen before with anyone. Not only do your eyes shine, but in your future partner's vision, you light up their entire life. Before you met and were together, they saw life in a gray way due to the adversities they faced on a daily basis and, thanks to you, they felt life gain more color, they felt love and it was as if their eyes open themselves up to everything they had never experienced before in their lives.

You probably met early and one of the things they love most is being able to look at old photos you took – whether it was when you first met, when you started dating or just photos of you together in general – and admire how you used to be and they probably compare themselves to the old version of themselves in the photo and it's really funny because you could be looking at your photos together and they laughs, points to their face in the photo and says something like “wow, I was weird ” and it’s a really cute moment between you two. They feels nostalgic in these moments and really misses that time, because unfortunately it doesn't come back and all that remains are memories – and fortunately they are good.

In the eyes of your future partner, you are going through a difficult time in your life. It's not just your partner who is a nostalgic person, you are too and you probably remember the times when your life was easier and compare it to the difficult life you have now – like when you were children, for example. They also see that you are tired and stressed about the way things in your life are – for example, you may work long hours at jobs you don't like just so you can pay the bills at the end of the month, you have to put up with people you hate and it even seems like you let people step on you so that problems don't occur (you can be people-pleasers too) and your biggest victory of the day is going home and sleeping, all while repressing what you're feeling and putting on a fake smile. Your future spouse is your family and they can tell when you are feeling bad and they think that you are being too hard on yourselves and that you may not want to admit it, but you need to seek professional help. So, if this is your case, don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help! This is destroying your mental health, pile one, please take care of yourselves!! Stop bottling up your feelings, process them, let them go, and then stand back. Do this for yourself.

Your future spouse knows you better than you know yourself – they know what to do or say to make you feel good and are careful about what not to do or say to avoid hurting you or making you feel worse. In their view, sometimes you can end up projecting your problems onto them, but they continue to love you regardless of your flaws – just be careful that this doesn't become a toxic trait that will affect your relationship. They may have met many girls/boys before meeting you, but none of these people compare to you! This whole time in their lives, they never needed anyone, they never felt the need to have someone by their side – on the contrary, they used to be the type of person who went out to a party/bar and flirted with people just to feel good/attractive. But, from the moment they met you, things changed completely and seemed to turn upside down. Just being away from you makes your future partner's heart sink. You make them feel good.

That was all, pile one! I hope you enjoyed it and that this reading resonated with you. Don't forget to take care of yourself and seek professional help if you need it, otherwise your future partner will hit you lol

── .✦ PILE 2

Shufflemancy: Room - Ethan Tasch, Ode To a Conversation Stuck In Your Throath - Del Water Gap, Epiphany - Stained, 976-Evil - Deftones & Tulsa Jesus Freak - Lana Del Rey.

In the view of your future spouses, you are a person who doesn't like to fight in your relationship and who tends to avoid conflicts so as not to cause major problems. You may even end up staying quiet instead of taking a stand on something that bothered you and your future partners also think that you can't express yourself very well through words. It's okay not to want to fight in a relationship, because who does? But, you must understand that some conflicts are necessary and need to happen, so don't run away from them, position yourself and choose your battles well – you don't need to fight over stupid things either lol.

In the eyes of your future partner, you are a disorganized person – the type who leaves their clothes scattered all over the floor or easily forgets where their left their things because everything around them is just a mess – and they think this is just a reflection of how you are feeling inside and how your mind is going. In fact, they may think that your inability to communicate effectively in the relationship is due to problems such as depression or anxiety. Regardless of what your case may be, your future partners notice this and care about you, they accept you exactly as you are and they will not leave you in this difficult time. You may be facing mental health problems, which leave you tired and without energy to do basic tasks like tidying your room and that's okay, just don't forget to take good care of yourself and, if necessary, seek professional help as it will be very beneficial for you!

For some of you reading this pile, before you finally became a couple, you and your future partner were best friends and all this time they tried to convince themselves that you were just that, but deep down they wanted to be tying you to the bed 🤭. They really wanted you and things are no different now. You also seem to be a popular couple who attract the attention of other people wherever you go, as if you were a celebrity couple or just people who are very loved by others.

In general, your future spouse is very jealous and possessive of you, so they want to be the only ones who can touch you in this way and just imagining people other than them touching your body the way they love to touch you so much chills down their spine lol. Just like in pile one, one of the physical features they love most are your eyes and they love just looking at them. One of the activities they love to do with you is traveling – in fact, any time they can spend time with you makes them happy. Your future spouse is so cute, because in the moments when they notice you are down, they do everything they can to make you laugh or just smile. In their view, in moments when you're feeling bad, you tend to walk away just to calm down - and for some reading this pile, this could apply to your future partner.

That was all, pile two! I really hope you enjoyed this reading and that it resonated with you. Just like in pile one, don't forget to take care of yourself and seek professional help if necessary 😠

── .✦ PILE 3

Shufflemancy: White Roses - Greyson Chance, Nervous Young Inhumans - Car Seat Headrest, I'll Follow You Into The Dark - Miya Folick, Uzumaki - Softcut & Dancing In The Moonlight - alt-J

Your future spouse is totally devoted and blind with love for you, pile three! In the eyes of your future partner, they can't live without you and they can't even imagine what their life would be like if they didn't have you by their side. It seems like from the first moment you met, just by looking at you, they felt attracted and didn't waste any time, they went to ask you out on a date lol. Just like the future spouses in pile two, your future partners are also jealous, the only difference is that they seem to be more jealous than the partners in the previous pile, because just seeing you going out, having fun with your friends without them around your side already makes them jealous.

The future spouses in this pile think that you still don't know all sides of them even though you are together. They may have red flags that you haven't noticed or ignore, so it's good to be careful. They may have addictions like alcohol or drugs, they may have bad habits, they may be overly possessive/jealous, controlling, aggressive or end up giving you the silent treatment or distancing you from them when you fight or there is a problem going on in your life as a couple – and maybe that's why you feel the need to walk on eggshells in your relationship to try to prevent your partner from acting that way towards you, which isn't cool. If for any reason you are uncomfortable, they disrespect your boundaries or you simply no longer want to be in the relationship, don't be afraid to walk away!

Because of what I mentioned above, your future spouses see you as someone who doesn't raise their voice in a fight, who doesn't point the finger in their face when they're wrong - they see you as someone who basically never showed their bad side to them. In their view, you understand them. Your future partners may also be individualistic and not have a black and white view of life – that is, they do not follow concepts such as “good” and “bad” and usually only do what is beneficial for them. Furthermore, they usually give back to others what they first received or what they think others deserve. But when it comes to you, it's different. It seems like they control themselves and use the power they have to give you what is good – they know they can affect your life, so they choose to affect it in a positive way. In my opinion they are weird, ngl lol.

Even though I think they're weird lmao, they would be willing to go through hell with you if necessary. They would be with you in times when no one else would be and they would be your refuge, ready to hug you and comfort you.

That was all, pile three! I really hope you enjoyed it and that the reading resonated with you. Be careful with emotional dependence, don't be afraid to set boundaries and, if necessary, let go of relationships that no longer serve you! Until the next PAP ♡

© tarotwithlucien - don't copy, redistribute or edit my content | DIVIDERS

[facefullofsadness]

The world needs guitarist winter!! 🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥 (i die a little each time i see her with a guitar)

AGREE!!! everyday that has passed since 230225 winter playing guitar at synk hyper line in seoul for the first time has just been me trying to recover and seek guidance bc damn, she ruined my life and it's all I've been able to think about

content - rockstar guitarist!winter, best friend's sister!winter, dom!winter, includes txt members (beomgyu and yeonjun) and giselle, song references, smut (messy and wild sex, slight degradation, fingering, cunnilingus, strap-on usage, choking, breeding kink, quickies, squirting, vibrator usage, semi-public sex/voyeurism)

wc - 3122

a/n - a loaded one since it's been a while. I had sm fun writing this in general, but especially a certain part (I think u'll be able to tell when u get there), I was laughing my ass off so fking hard. also I just got a haircut that's very wolf-cut-y so it helped a whole bunch to get into writing this lol, committed to the bit!

winter's a damn good guitarist.

she's fuckinggg hotttt too when she plays and she knows it. watched a vid of her recently doing her guitar solo during girls and after the final riff she smirked at the camera and I LITERALLY COMBUSTED DEAR LORD.

anyway, I imagine her in a rock band, one with beomgyu, and they're both just the hot, wolf-cut, dark emo guitarists. you're the lead singer and front man of the band and were the reason the band formed in the first place. you were besties with beomgyu and you two wrote and composed music from time to time, always having the idea of a band as a passion project at the back of your minds.

eventually, gyu recruited his sister, minjeong. the three of you worked together diligently, recruiting yeonjun as a drummer who knew and dragged along aeri as a bassist. it was truly a dream come true, getting to pursue what you're passionate about the most with your best friend and a group of people just as enthusiastic as you were.

though, it was hard to focus with such a pretty girl like kim minjeong breathing down your neck at all times. you, beomgyu, and minjeong would primarily work together on music, usually going from the afternoon until after midnight hours. while minjeong was only a few months older than your best friend, she'd boss him around and push him to go home, saying it was late and that their mom needed to see at least one of them to know they were okay. he'd groan and complain about it, especially since you and him were the main collaborators for songs and were the best when you were together, but she'd always promise to take good care of you, whatever that meant (huehuehue).

beomgyu cares more about you as a little sister than he does his own sister so when he gets confirmation that she'll take care of you, he accepts it and goes home early, leaving you and minjeong in the studio alone. you bite your lip as you watch the door close, your friend leaving you behind with her.

"just you and me now, huh pretty?" the girl leans into you on the couch.

you shift uncomfortably at the close proximity and try to subtly scooch away, "uh yeah, I guess so... we should try to finish this arrangement before we get out of here."

you try your best to compose yourself and act professional, hearing minjeong's deep chuckle next to you, "alright then."

actually getting work done and writing some lyrics alongside figuring out the instrumental arrangement with minjeong since she's the other guitarist, besides beomgyu (also bc he left). you tell her that you get frustrated with the fact you're not that good at playing, her having asked why you don't just make the arrangements yourself. and so, she decides to teach you! well, "teach you."

placing her acoustic Silvertone on your lap and crawling up slowly behind you, her warm body pressed up against your back, the brush of her lips against your ear making you shiver. she brings her arms over and places her hands over yours, guiding them around the strings and assisting with the chords.

she whispers deep and raspy into your ear various instructions, "if you cover this entire fret and press down on these strings, you'll get the F Barre chord. it's a little difficult but nothing you can't manage, right princess?"

"the placement kinda hurts..." you complain, feeling the burn of the metal strings against your skin.

"it'll be a little painful when you start, but with practice you'll get better. you have to press down harder than that though," her pressing your fingers down harder against the nylon strings.

whining softly at the pain, making her lips come closer to your ear, "come on baby, you can do it, a little pain goes a long way. I know you can handle it."

a chill runs down your spine at her words, proceeding to repeatedly attempt to strum the chord correctly until the sound was full.

"good girl, it wasn't that bad right?" you turn to face her, her lips just centimeters away from yours.

your breath picks up at her proximity and a smirk tugs at her lips, moving her face into your neck and hotly sighing against it.

"how badly do you want it, hm? how badly do you want me to fuck you like a rockstar?"

your grip on her guitar tightens as her mouth trails around your neck, gasping when you feel her tongue drag across slowly.

"what do you think you're doing?"

"nothing you don't want me to already, sweetheart."

you lean into her touch, moving your hand away from the body of the guitar to lace your fingers through her soft wolf-cut hair, pulling her head in further into your neck, now placing wet kisses against the skin.

you suddenly shoot your eyes open at the realization of what you two are doing and stutter, "I-I don't think we should be doing th-this... we need to finish the arrangement... and also, y-your brother, what will h-he think?"

you stumble over your words as minjeong just hums in response to, continuing to leave sloppy marks across your neck, feeling her make hickeys on parts of your skin that wouldn't be noticeable.

"we have all the time in the world to finish the song. but what about gyu? did you want him instead then?" she asks, almost threateningly, challenging you to say yes.

in response, you whimper and pull her head in further towards your neck, practically begging her not to go away.

"don't you feel ashamed letting your best friend's sister do this to you? or are you just a slut?"

you don't answer, only shut your eyes and bite your lip. minjeong doesn't like that, resulting in her hand to pull you by the hair backwards, head facing the ceiling. your eyes shot open at the contact and you see her blown pupils staring into yours.

her voice comes out low and dark, "answer me whore. tell me what you are, I wanna hear you say it."

you gulp down a lump in your throat, debating if you should listen to her or to your morals. all sense jumps out the window when she sexily raises her eyebrow at you, an expectant expression sitting on her aroused face.

fuck it whatever, she's too fucking hot, "I'm your slut, minjeong, all yours."

finishing the arrangement? what a joke! she has your legs spread wide open on the soundboard, skillful fingers pumping in and out of your squelching cunt, your head thrown back, moaning into the hot air of the studio. her one hand plunging deep into your pussy while the other one is wrapped around your waist, holding you close, keeping your thighs propped open with her body. and she's just watching you, her mouth slightly open and lips a deep dark plump red, her messy hair tousled, bangs sticking to her sweaty forehead. she loves watching how your face contorts in response to her digits curling to hit that delicious spot in your hole, hitting it repeatedly, her palm slapping against your clit with every quick thrust of her hand. the sounds of your croaky moans, wet and clenching pussy, and her heavy breathing fill the sound-proof room, the thought of productivity not even grazing either of your minds.

the pleasure built so much, you felt that knot in your stomach tighten. minjeong quickened her pace as she felt your legs start to shake around her, sensing how close you were to cumming. it was all too much and you suddenly orgasmed, crying out moans with every wave of delight that surged through your body, thighs trembling, eyes rolled back and mouth hung open, your hands gripping her shoulders for dear life. she intently watched with a lustful stare at every expression your face made while you came, memorizing how good you looked when she fucked you. pulling her fingers out and collecting every drop of cum you leaked onto her hand and wrist, licking it clean until a thin sheet of her saliva remained.

"open your fucking mouth and stick your tongue out," she demanded with a deep voice.

you obeyed and gagged, feeling her tongue shove itself down your throat, forcefully swallowing her saliva and your cum. drool seeped out the sides of your lips as she continued her onslaught in your mouth, feeling her clothed hips grind against your sensitive clit, moans slipping out of your throat in the form of gags.

she'd pull away suddenly, tongue exiting your mouth with a wet slurping noise, making you cough. "you. are. mine. remember that."

she'd remind you, running her damp fingers through her hair.

these late night escapades continued to occur with every single long session held in the studio (she definitely recorded some audios of you guys fucking for sureeee). the creative part of you wanted beomgyu to stay and help with the music, but the sinful part of you so desperately wanted him to leave as soon as possible to have his sister all to yourself. your best friend never caught on to you and minjeong, but oh, yeonjun and aeri caught on like THAT. the tension between you two was so palpable, the two older members would side eye you during practices and giggle to each other, watching the two of you eye fuck from across the room.

eventually, the band's popularity would build and proceed to skyrocket, leading to your guys' first tour. tour meant performing together, traveling together, being with each other, and ultimately, tour meant being with minjeong. and so when management would get 3 hotel rooms for you all, 1 for the boys, 1 for the girls, and well, 1 for aeri being the sleeping beauty she is, rooming with minjeong meant a few things. practicing together, writing and composing together, and sleeping together (for the girls in the back, SEX).

throwing you onto the bed as soon as you reach your hotel room, tearing your clothes off and pinning you down, sloppily kissing each other. she'd prep you by eating you out, sticking her wet muscle inside of your leaking core, caressing your walls and flicking against your g-spot. you bit down hard on the pillow, muffling your moans as her thumb covered in her saliva rubbed against your throbbing clit. her pulling away right before you came and putting on a strap-on she brought on tour (for you of course!), wasting no time in thrusting it into you.

the pillow probably did nothing to silence your screams as she mercilessly fucked you into the mattress, hand pressing down on your lower stomach to feel her cock pumping in and out of you, the tip of her dick hitting your cervix again and again, her thumb still stimulating your clit. minjeong had your back arching, your hands flew everywhere, trying to grip onto anything to ground yourself, but nothing was enough, even as you screamed and bit down on your pillow. your eyes watered and your vision blurred as she rammed into you, the dark-haired girl moving her hands to wrap around your neck, choking you, gradually adding pressure with every rough thrust. her pants eventually became moans too, loving the feeling of the side of her strap hitting that delicious spot inside of her too, slapping her clit against yours as she bottomed out in you.

"I'm gonna fucking cum in you y/n, I'm gonna knock you up, fill you up until you're leaking both of us," minjeong growls above you, lowering her face to level with yours.

you feel tears fall down the sides of your face and your throat sore from another scream ripped out of you as well as her hands around your neck as she throws the pillow in your mouth onto the floor, attaching her mouth to yours instead. you cry onto her tongue as you orgasm against her strap, toes curling and legs wrapped around her waist, nails digging into minjeong's shoulders, cum gushing out of you as you feel her cock shoot fake ropes of white liquid into you, filling you up. you feel her shake in your arms too as she cums, her pleasure leaking out onto your thighs, soaking the bedsheets. she collapses on top of you, both of you desperately gasping for air, her dick still inside of you, keeping the fake cum from leaking out.

"good thing we have another bed."

of course being on tour also meant fucking in the green room before a performance. having done interviews all morning, having a concert for the tour tonight, minjeong was so mean! she had you wear a vibrator the entire day! it would be on the lowest setting up until the interviewer would ask you a question. she would turn up the intensity and you would squirm as you tried to answer, gripping your ripped jeans, almost causing another tear. and so when you two were left alone in the green room for just a minute, she took you right then and there, your legs wide open on the sofa, her mouth stimulating your clit while she increased the vibrator's setting to max, thrusting it in and out of you.

you were screaming in pleasure, all the built up tension in your stomach finally being relieved with each pump of the sex toy in your pussy. you clutched onto her leather jacket for dear life as you came all over her face, squirting everywhere. she licked as much as she could and you both worked quickly to clean before anyone came back. your members, staff, and the fans would notice you limping around on stage that night, winter with an especially evil smirk resting on her face.

being on tour also meant getting fingered in the bathroom backstage. it's literally 10 minutes to showtime, but minjeong NEEDED to fuck you now! her calloused fingers pumping in and out of you while you reciprocated fingering her too. both of your skirts hiked up and panties pushed to the side (no safety shorts? idk this is fiction, ignore it!), moaning desperately into each others mouths as you messily and sloppily made out against the bathroom stall door. curling your fingers at the same time, biting down on her lip while her fingernails dug into your thigh at the feeling. rolling your hips against her palm to stimulate your clit, her repeating the motion and pinning you harder to the door so that your bodies were flush against one another.

screaming into each other's mouths as you came at the same time, cum dripping down your wrist. quickly cleaning one another up (with your tongues, yup) and running to your places since there was literally THIRTY SECONDS to showtime! beomgyu confusedly looking at you two in frustration, asking where you guys had been, yeonjun and aeri rolling their eyes laughing, still lowkey irritated that you guys were LITERALLY FUCKING instead of getting ready to perform smh. everyone definitely noticed the redness in both of your cheeks. winter had fingered you with her calloused hand, the dampness making it more difficult to play the chords during that show, the band noticing the change in effectivity too (how technical!).

at some point, the fans would notice the tension between you two. who wouldn't ship the lead singer with the guitarist in a band anyway right? especially when it's the hot dark wolf-cut emo guitarist winter and the stunning pretty charismatic lead singer. but of course that wasn't the only reason, you guys were soooo obvious. you're singing the flirty and seductive lyrics towards her, minjeong returning a smirk back at you and sticking her tongue out while she fingerpicks her guitar, raising her eyebrows when she does. trailing your fingertips over her bare skin in skimpy outfits they'd put her in onstage, singing the lyrics into her ears.

or literally just flat out fucking saying it. like having those soundcheck Q&As where fans would ask you questions like "if you were to date one of the members, who would you date?"

answering each other's names at the same time, causing everyone to laugh in the audience, beomgyu gagging, and yeonjun and aeri holding back laughter. minjeong following up by saying something like "I mean, it's not like it hasn't happened before." LIKE WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

or when you and winter are in an interview and they ask what the inspiration was behind a particular song, let's say a more sexy song, and she responds first, "well, every song that we've written has influences from our own personal experiences."

the interviewer would be like, "so then is it true when you sing quote 'I might fuck your friend, I made my mind up'?"

you blush profusely and winter just dies laughing, "I'll let you guys decide that one."

"y/n, you wrote "we go for hours and it's still good" correct?" the interviewer continues.

"yes yes but the details don't really matter do they?" you nervously laugh while minjeong drills holes into the side of your head, staring at you with a playful and sinister smirk on the side.

my favorite headcanon to think about is online discourse regarding you and minjeong. your guys' new mv dropped for your latest single and there are a bunch of scenes with you and winter acting like an angsty couple in the rain, making up in the end by having an alluded to sex scene (lmao, wild if this actually would ever happen).

I just imagine twt going INSANEEE.

slut4winter: DID Y/N AND WINTER FUCK AT THE END OF THE VIDEO?!?!?

y/nonechancepls: i literally cannot defend minjeong and y/n anymore...

beomgyuswolfcut: bro, winter fr cucked her brother from y/n 😭😭

aerifuckinguchinaga: win-y/n's chemistry is a lil too real yall 💀

drumjunyeonjun: not them saying it was their fav scene to film, the closet is made out of AIR, IM SICK OF U F WORDS !!!

and of course, despite all of this, your dear bestie and minjeong's brother doesn't catch on. at times, beomgyu will be all what the fuck is going on when you two say something that has double entendre or has some sort of underlying meaning.

yeonjun usually just pats him on the back while laughing, "oh my friend, never change, never change."

aeri being such a nosy friend LOVES hearing you rant about it, chin propped up on her fist, leaning forward against the table, a cheeky grin on her face. with every spicy detail, she's always just like, "girllll, you're insane and wild, but good for you!"

a/n - like rq, through a guitarist pov, winter is so attractively good at guitar it pisses me off. also headcanon songs this band would make are like wdywfm by the neighbourhood, sex by the 1975, do I wanna know by arctic monkeys, and slow down by chase atlantic. incredibly self indulgent hc and WHAT ABOUT IT!!

[seakicker]

Could I ask your thoughts on Milf!Reader with either Kaveh and/or Alhaitham?

i decided to go with the or aspect this time but the idea of the and... much to think about. teaching these stupid idiots to share 101. i didn't mean to make alhaitham's milf so loserpilled but now im super into it lol she needs help asap amen. NSFT but just slightly since i didn’t delve too deep into smut with either… this time :p maybe i’ll write some continuations later!

alcohol in both sections, somewhat unrequited (depends on how optimistic you are, I suppose) feelings on reader's part in alhaitham's section, and public sex + drunk sex in kaveh's section below!

You seek Alhaitham out after tiring of the proverbial game of chicken he’s been playing with you these past couple of months. Frankly, you’re not convinced he’s half as into you as you’re into him, if his nonexistent track record of interactions with you is anything to go off of. He’s just the tenant renting out the spare bedroom in your apartment following your two daughters’ departure for college, and you’re just somebody he occasionally pays his rent to and assist with groceries— nothing less, nothing more.

Nothing less, nothing more… but being a single woman in her mid-forties and an empty-nester both already bring about a great deal of loneliness and longing by themselves, but together? One would—and should— call it miserable. Alhaitham largely keeps to himself when he’s home and your schedules don’t line up very well to begin with, so instances where you two cross paths are far and few between, but when the younger man is around, he’s courteous and cordial enough to make a good tenant… albeit a little cluttered.

You harbor a sense of guilt over finding a man just a little older than your collegebound children handsome, but living about a decade alone after divorce leaves you with needs and wants as human as food and water and shelter. Alhaitham is attractive, Alhaitham is polite and curt in a way that suggests a handsome sort of indifference, and you really, really don’t think he cares for you in any regard beyond the professional, but you can’t say your feelings are limited to the same boring boundaries. You want him in ways that are surely inappropriate between a forty-something-year-old woman and a twenty-something-year-old man, but what Alhaitham doesn't know can't hurt him because you are in absolutely no position to tell your tenant how you really feel about him anytime soon.

Except Alhaitham already knows how you feel without you needing to tell him how you really feel about him because you make it so incredibly obvious in ways beyond the verbal. You can't meet his eyes when you greet him, you stumble over at least half of your words every time you attempt to talk to him, and you absolutely refuse to step foot in his room even though you literally own it and, at least in his mind, have every right to access what's yours— though he certainly doesn't mind the privacy. Frankly, he almost considers your behavior entirely unbefitting of a woman your age—what are you, eighteen?— but something about your hesitant demeanor and reluctant way of speaking almost... charms him? No, that's certainly not the right word, he thinks— that would imply he's smitten with you, and he wouldn't go that far... but he does find you and your behavior somewhat interesting. You're certainly quieter and easier to be around than half of the people his age, and he doesn't take offense to having such a quiet roommate... you have his college roommate beaten on that front if absolutely nothing else.

Alhaitham doesn't drink much, but he's noticed you're somewhat of a habitual wine-drinker, particularly on the weekends and on the occasional weeknight once you're home from your desk job. You get a good deal more talkative whenever you drink, but his inclination to listen certainly doesn't increase alongside your temporary conversation buff. He'll nod absentmindedly and offer interjections where needed, but unless you manage to pique his interest, he doesn't have much to say... after all, he doesn't know you that well nor do you know him all that well.

You sigh, a sound as pitiful as it is longing. "Do you keep secrets well?"

Oh, that's something that manages to pique Alhaitham's interest.

He thinks for a moment before speaking. "I suppose. I don't gain anything from sharing secrets with other people." Not that he has anyone to share secrets with, of course... he's no more gifted in the friendship department than you are.

"I think I... have feelings for you. Is that inappropriate? It's not like you... not feeling the same way would jeopardize your living situation here," you mumble no louder than a whisper.

He almost wants to scoff with a smug I'm well aware of that, but he says nothing. He glances over at you, but his eyes only meet the top of your head, your own gaze reflected back at you in the swirls of your wine. Alhaitham wants to ask if you really, actually, truly like him or if your feelings arose from the hallmark middle-aged loneliness stage, but even he knows that your feelings are probably a fairly even mix of both aspects.

"Please say something," you almost beg, looking up at him. Oh, has he accidentally allowed the silence between you two to extend past the socially-acceptable "I'm thinking about it" phase and into the uncomfortable phase?

"I'm well aware of that." Alhaitham decides it's an appropriate and neutral enough reply because it's the truth, after all. He's known for months now, and what good does lying to you do? He's not a liar.

You can only describe the feeling in your chest as humiliation— of course he already knew because he's leagues smarter than you are and he still has his entire life ahead of him and you're just a desperate, lonely, needy housewife. The ball's in his court and you never learned how to play tennis.

Looking up to finally face him, you set your wine down on the coffee table before you. "Do you... hate it?" What kind of question is that? Of course he does.

Alhaitham sighs with something just north of resignation but without the regret attached to such a word, and you almost wish you had said nothing.

"Come sit," he offers, sliding over to allow you a spot next to him on the couch. It takes you a moment or two before you stand up from the loveseat and join him, leaving about an arm's length distance between the two of your bodies. Does he need to lay out everything for you?

In a rare display of initiative from a man who prefers to leave the bothersome work to everyone else, Alhaitham pulls himself closer to you. You worry he can hear your heartbeat right through your flushed skin and your thick sweater just as you hear it in your ears, but he doesn't comment further on any of your very, very apparent anxious expressions.

"Show me, then," Alhaitham offers, uncrossing his arms.

"I'm... sorry? Show you... what?" You ask, somewhat stupefied. Who needs alcohol when you have fear and tension to make you feel like garbage?

He leans in and offers you a gaze that almost feels challenging, like he doesn't believe you'll do a single thing he asks you to. "Show me how you really feel if you can't find it in yourself to say it."

Ah.

You don't want to even consider if he's just doing this to make fun of you or if he really, actually shares your feelings on some microscopic level, so you act before you have to think. Kissing him in a way you haven't kissed anyone in the ballpark of ten to twelve years ago, you let out a downright pitiful moan against his lips because the most basic display of affection feels so, so good after so, so long without it.

Alhaitham moves quicker than you do, and he has you down flat on your back against the couch before you can ask him if he really, really likes you or if he's just really, really bored tonight.

"If you'll have an old woman like me," you breathe quiet and pleading and ashamed against his mouth.

"Age has nothing to do with it," he replies simply, and such a matter-of-fact expression about how little your age matters almost comforts you in a sad way. "You're no less significant than anybody else. Having lived for longer and having learned and experienced what some never will already puts you a step above most."

"And, frankly," Alhaitham continues, lips brushing down the soft, soft edge of your jaw and across the warm plane of your neck. "I find that sort of conversation much more stimulating than whatever my own peers occupy themselves with these days."

You don't even attempt to bite back the whimper that escapes your mouth when Alhaitham firmly bites into the curve between your neck and shoulder, your eyes screwed shut and hands weaved tightly through his ashen hair.

"If I'll have you?" He repeats, hands searching south of the hemline of your sweater. "I suppose I will."

Kaveh seeks you out… in his dreams, at least. He can more easily picture himself peeling some paint off the wall, eating it, and asking for seconds than he can picture himself finally asking you out on a dinner date. He's sure there's some stipulation in the employee's handbook prohibiting relationships between employees and other employees and especially between employees and their immediate managers— which just so happens to be him and you, respectively. A salaryman dating his beautiful, forward, confident, and double-his-age manager? Yeah, right— that sort of thing happens in films and novels, not in the playing field of reality.

He's had it in for you since he started two years ago, for better and for worse— having a crush on one's supervisor makes them eager to please and, subsequently, makes them a harder worker, but said crush also begets daydreaming and accidental slacking while still on company time. Kaveh can't even feel too embarrassed when you stop by his desk and scold him for simple mistakes in his filed paperwork because he'll take any single opportunity he can get to see you—whether you're happy or just slightly angry with him, it makes zero difference to recently-graduated man in love.

Maybe it's the way you command a room and your little team of desk jockeys, maybe it's the way you dress in form-fitting skirts and blouses that hug your soft body, maybe it's the appeal of someone with both professional and life experience guiding him, or maybe it's your sultry and maternal manner of speaking that drives Kaveh through the roof. Maybe it's the way you stand behind him and lean forward over his shoulder to check the work on his computer screen, maybe it's the way you sweetly call his name during team-wide presentations and meetings, maybe it's the way you and him are consistently the very final two people to leave the office at the end of the day, maybe it's the occasional invitations to go out drinking together Friday evenings immediately after work, maybe it's the...

God. Kaveh almost feels guilty staying in a job he doesn't particularly care about just so he can see his lovely forty-one year old boss every single day. Desk jockeying leaves little room for creativity which absolutely hurts somebody as imaginative and innovative as Kaveh, but he's sworn to himself that he will not seek out a new job until he takes you out on a proper date at least once.

And, no, Friday night beers at a local bar don't constitute a "proper date."

Friday night rolls around just as it does at the end of every monotonous workweek, and Kaveh doesn't miss a beat in accepting your invitation to go out drinking. The recent end of the third financial quarter has kept both you and Kaveh up to your hairlines in paperwork, so the two of you haven't been drinking since sometime in early July— and to say he's missed your little rendezvous would be an understatement. Whenever work really picks up and the rivers of printer ink, white-out, and ballpoint pen ink all flow aplenty, you barely have the time to check in with him and his coworkers between all the hours you have to spend away in your office locked to your own desk. He starts to miss you like he's a lost puppy; isn't that just embarrassing?

You're on your third or fourth beer and Kaveh's only halfway through his first because he knows he's a lightweight— he couldn't match your pace if he tried. He listens dutifully as you complain about your higher-ups and how that ginger asshole in finance always has something smug to say and how that stoic gray-haired dude who works just a few rows down from Kaveh has awful handwriting, and he finds it endearing that you're just as... human as everyone else is when you're like this. He loves seeing you in Office Demon Work Mode and he loves seeing you with your hair down, your neck ribbon untied, and your blouse unbuttoned... for more reasons than just getting to see you relax for once.

God, you're beautiful.

By the time you've cleared your last beer (Kaveh stopped counting after five) and Kaveh has finally, finally finished his first and only, you're sufficiently and thoroughly plastered. Without any rational judgement to remind you that this is your employee and not your boyfriend, you're clinging to his arm and whining about how stupid life is when you're forty-one and unmarried since you hardly have time to go out and meet men with how busy work keeps you. Even if he had the courage to, Kaveh would never offer himself as a potential dating candidate for you since you're his boss and he knows you're far, far out of his league anyways.

"Hey, Kaveh," you breathe in a way that's just barely toeing the line between innocent and sultry, and he has to really, really force himself to take it as the former. "Walk me back to my car? I'd fall asleep on the side of the road otherwise."

"You're not driving anywhere," Kaveh answers without missing a beat, helping you to your feet and thanking the bartender as the two of you leave. "You know you can't, ma'am."

"'Ma'am," you parrot, snorting. "That makes me sound so old. Young ladies get miss and us hags get ma'am, right?"

Kaveh reminds himself to pay no mind to the feeling of your breasts pressed against his arm as you walk side-by-side, but the more he has to force himself to think or look or focus on anything else, the more he notices you and only you. How could he even try to divide his attention between you and anything else?

"Aging isn't a bad thing," Kaveh musters up, holding on tight to your hand so you don't stumble off the curb. "You get to experience more the longer you live, right?"

"I've experienced enough!" You laugh. "I want to be twenty again so I can drink six beers and wake up without even a hint of a hangover the next morning. That doesn't happen at forty-one, you know; I won't be normal until next Friday now."

Kaveh chuckles. "Ma'am, you don't have to invite me to drinks every week if it makes you sick."

Glancing up at him as he clumsily fishes in the pockets of his trousers for his keys, you send him a pout so cute it nearly makes Kaveh drops his keys. "And miss out on my guaranteed dates with my star employee? Yeah, right."

Guaranteed dates.

Star employee.

"I just mean, like," Kaveh stutters, unlocking his car and guiding you towards the passenger seat. "We could get dinner instead of going to a bar, you know?"

"Are you asking me out? I accept," you purr, clumsily flopping into your employee's car and wrestling with your purse. "But, in return, I want to ask you to do something, too."

Sliding behind the wheel and turning to face you once more, Kaveh takes a split second to pray and pray and pray to every single god he's aware of that you'll invite him on a date so he doesn't have to experience the potential humiliation of a sober you declining his offer.

"My house," you whisper, leaning in so close he can smell the residual beer on your breath.

Kaveh knows he should decline, he knows he should just drop you off and help you inside then leave, he knows that if he accepts your offer he’ll regret it Monday or lose his job or hate himself or ruin your opinion of him or—

“I’m already dropping you off, right? I’ll already be at your house for a second then I’ll head back to mine and—“ He’s tripping over his works so clumsily one would figure that he’s the drunk one, not you. You only press a finger to his lips and shh him teasingly before leaning in slowly, your eyelids heavy and your lips parted invitingly.

“I’ve seen the way you look at me, Kaveh,” you whisper, your other hand sliding across the center console to rest on his right thigh. “I’d have to be stupid to not pick up on it. You freeze up and turn bright red when I walk by your desk and stop to see what you’re doing. You accept little tasks I give out to the whole team before anybody else has a chance to step in. I know it, dearest.” You slide your finger across his lip and cup his cheek in your palm, your thumb resting lightly on his bottom lip.

Kaveh prays you can’t hear his heartbeat drumming in his ears, but he subconsciously leans closer to you anyways and taking your thumb in between his lips.

“Just like this,” you continue. “Such a sweet boy… such an eager boy. Younger men are the best, hm? I want to give you everything you’ve thought about… I’ll show you all the love I’ve been saving for forty-one years.”

He knows he shouldn’t, he knows he shouldn’t, he knows he shouldn’t, and yet… he wants it. He’s earned it. He works so hard for himself and for you and he wants you so, so much more than you know.

“Spend the night with me, Kaveh,” you ask again, reaching to cup the painfully obvious bulge tenting his nice, neat worn slacks. “Consider it a demand from your boss or a request from a cute girlfriend, whichever makes you hornier.”

Releasing your thumb from his lips with a moan, Kaveh nods and reaches for your breasts. He doesn’t care if you’re only saying this because you’re drunk— what does he have to lose? He’s won a night with you and that’s all he’s ever wanted.

“I’ll take care of you, ma’am.”

[grison-in-space]

sorry I know this was not your point in the intersex post but I was wondering how you deal with your facial hair? I'm a cis woman and have lots of chin and facial hair (not to mention absurd body hair, as well as progressive hair loss on my head) and it's been pretty devastating for my self esteem. I have never been a beauty and now that chronic illness and age is catching up to me I have a hard time not feeling subhuman (the debilitating anxiety does not help).

My doctor insists I don't have PCOS and that my hormones are normal after multiple tests and 2nd opinions I've gotten have said the same. I tried laser and it seemed to make it worse, and I liked electrolysis and did many sessions over six months but it's not affordable to me at the moment and it seems it's all grown back? But it's been a few years so maybe it's just new growth. I am hoping to restart the electrolysis if I ever get close to having a comfortable financial situation again lol.

I find shaving it feels awful, the stubble is painful and I have a five o clock shadow like 2 hours later, but spending 30 minutes plucking every day is also not fun. Waxing just always rips off my skin and misses enough hairs to be annoying, even when I've gotten it professionally done.

It's absolutely driving me mad but it feels like I have no options to do anything about it.

I am so sorry, Anon: the chin and neck hair hits me in a bad sensory place as much as or more so than the visual side of it, so I compulsively pluck it as it appears. (I pretty much ignore everywhere else.)

My experience with laser hair was that it at least lightened and softened the hairs that were produced where I had it as a teenager, which makes plucking feel less necessary. Occasionally I contemplate one of those at home laser hair kits, but I've never actually gotten around to grabbing one.

That said, the level of androgenization you're describing is absolutely high enough to be worth seeking care for. Check whether your insurance has provisions for gender affirming care. You may also be a good candidate for spironolactone (for the thinning hair) or HRT, particularly if you're post menopausal. You're probably still going to be grappling with hair until you can do another electrolysis or laser session, but those should help you with keeping facial hair from coming back.

Have you seen a dedicated endocrinologist? It's also worth seeking an expert opinion, because the specific suite of symptoms you're describing certainly do sound like something unusual is going on whether or not it's PCOS.

[adorablebanite]

Were your Durge/Tavs inspired by characters from other movies/shows/literature?

Lilla's neither; she's more of a "side character," but here are her biggest inspirations!

Judge Anderson (DREDD): Lilla is a Knowledge domain cleric - supported by her Patron Bane (introduced by Gortash, of course). Anderson can read minds, and Knowledge clerics have the same ability, as well as other Banite-adjacent abilities like Command, and Dominate Person. She's obviously going to be different than the other Banite cleric NPC's in game, as her job is to specifically protect Gortash (she protecc but also attacc).

I wanted her to be bookish, prim(in public👀), and an over achiever - essentially a prime example of professionalism, as the boss is trying to be a politician 😈

I really like Judge Anderson's innocent competence, so I wanted to keep that Lilla's front-facing demeanor; even when her arc does stray away from the good moral alignment after being hired on by Gort - in which her moral alignment clearly gets influenced by him, but she realizes later it's literally just in her blood to be a Banite!

---

Lee (Secretary) -I love the innocent-to-confident character arc, (as you can probably see by the Judge Anderson arc as well,) but let's be real, Lilla was originally created for a smut so I could waggle my brainworms, and the Secretary holds a special place in my heart.

The movie greatly inspired Awaiting Further Instruction, and I really enjoyed having Lilla go through an adventure of finding her nature, with the help of Gortash, of course. You've got the pathetic Dom, and the pathetic Sub, and while they're both actually pathetic, they find a security in each other's world that even though it's unconventional and twisted, it brings them comfort.

---

GoGo (Kill Bill): obviously vastly different from Anderson, so you can kind of see how the arc goes - and while I don't make Lilla nearly as sadistic as GoGo, she still does have a little streak of it when it comes to anyone who is threatening, insulting, or impeding Gortash in whatever way.

Lilla's demeanor can quickly switch from prim/professional/sweet, to taking personal pleasure in dispatching a rival for Gortash, depending on the level of the crime. Like him, she has a personal perception of justice that greatly aligns with his, and if she has been sicced on someone who has wronged him, she will sentence them accordingly. This can range from playful banter/underhanded threats and blackmail, to abruptly decapitating a goblin mid-sentence because he said something uncouth about Gortash.

My vision for her was the "loyal sidekick of the mob boss," and I find it extremely fun giving her a more interesting role than "yes master, no master," specifically for smut purposes.

---

Scleritas Fel (BG3) : LOL Yes, my initial idea was: "Why can't Gortash have a little minion like Scleritas Fel?" And here we are 😅🫣

I didn't want to rip off the concept of Scleritas directly, but Lilla is still intrinsically tied to Bane because he made her - not like Bhaal made Durge - but more of a "secret, experimental ritual commissioned by Bane, conducted in the outskirts of Calimport where some Banites conceived a person designed to seek out and serve his Chosen, but she ended up being too loveable and the Banites couldn't stand treating her like Banites should, so they wiped her memory, sent her to an orphanage, and offed themselves in shame," kind of way.

Obviously Bane was also ashamed by his botched experiment, so they have a shaky relationship, but that's all been settled in the fic 😇

Ultimately I wanted to write something fun for Gortash - and give him something nice! Lilla is very nice, and likes him very much (bordering on obsession), and is actually very useful in many ways beyond smutty silliness! She does a lot of research, spies, transcribes, organises dossiers/blackmail material, and pretty much oversees his political campaign and businesses (legal and otherwise) while he does the big-boy-chosen work.

I'll do one about Destri (Durge) soon too 🥰

Now that I've prattled on, I'd love to hear about other people's inspiration for their OCs, if they have them!!

@melvinthedepressedrobot

@kaava

@obuoliukai

@walkerdraws

@ennissg

@beecreeper

@newtia

@sankttealeaf

(I have to rush now but I want to hear about everyone so please tag me if you end up doing this and you're not already tagged so I can see it!! 🙏🙏🙏)

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

Questioning NPD, and already prof. dx'd autism and OCD culture is (lengthy and vent-ish, but not really with the latter):

📌 Carefully orchestrating this whole ask.

📌 Thinking every day about how much criteria you meet. **It's nearly all of it**, but you're still unsure if the things you've been prev. dx'd with would cancel it out or not.

📌 Stigma and misconceptions making you second-guess yourself.

📌 "-But I don't constantly or overtly seek attention/admiration..." Though I DO desire it, fantasize about seeking it, and get upset or disappointed when I don't receive what I'd like/had expected (when I do so). I'll think about it for a bit and feel a mild (?) sense of entitlement, then scoff "whatever" in my head.

I'm also afraid of people thinking I'm pathetic if I try too hard, so that's why I don't.

📌 ^ Comparing your competence in something afterwards, then being like "🤔🧙‍♂️😏" (silly ass emojis ik) when you notice that you're better or on par with whatever someone/everyone else has presented.

📌 ^ Moral OCD kicks in not long afterwards. I'll be writing a book if I elaborate.

📌 Struggling to find resources on covert presentations of NPD besides "10 signs of a covert narcissist" (it's mostly emotional abuse shit) or "the covert narcissistic mother." 🫠 Like bro please.

📌 Being afraid that by claiming you have "narcissistic traits/tendencies" and potentially learning it's all something different later that you'll seem like a fool (I feel like there's irony in this).

📌 "What if it's just C-PTSD?" (Also questioning) + "What if I suspect what could be C-PTSD is just my OCD and *some trauma.*" The fear of seeming like a fool to people (generally and those you'd seek help from) 2x.

📌 "I'm also aware of how my actions affect others sometimes, and I'm pretty self aware..."

I KNOW it's a misconception/overgeneralization that narcs 'can't have empathy' (also dude how do you think I manage how others potentially perceive me lol). I ALSO KNOW that self-aware narcs exist (like on here, hello...), but man...

A therapist once told me that I seemed too self-aware to be one as the 3 (yes) previous people they had experience with "typically only came in due to other problems like depression or perceiving others having 'the issue,' then were later diagnosed."

Self-doubt plus a lack of resources is a Bitch...

📌 That same one also used Donald Trump as an example of a narc (not that I'd disagree since I've read a bit of that one book about his family that was made by.. I think his Niece? Who's a clinical psych, but lmao...), wasn't aware of certain terms I'd bring up, and would accidentally skip questions (brought a pocket diagnostic manual with me, so I knew).

They were nice, but it made me go "hmm I think I'm more competent." Fear of being 'an arrogant fool' with that one (esp. as they've gone through schooling and I haven't.... *Yet* 😏), but seriously. Makes me teeter between whether I should just go with self diagnosis or seek out a more qualified professional (realized that one didn't specialize in pds besides BPD, so..) whenever I'm more prepared (both bringing up that fear again).

📌 OH AND BEING ASKED "Do you exploit others?..." with a waiting stare. Maybe others have no problem admitting that or other unpleasant things, BUT WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WANNA SAY THAT!!! 😭 (I actually don't - at least not harmfully or often? But still).

📌 Obsessing/having intrusive memories and thoughts about people who've rejected you, left you out, did relational bullying, and/or perceived you as somehow 'less than' and were condescending towards you. Fantasizing about either winning their approval (more of a younger me thing) or overpowering them; either directly proving them wrong/that you've actually been better than them/putting them in their place or becoming famous for something unique/grand. ALL for **Years** and it sucks because it's likely that I barely exist in their minds, and I've yet to move on.

I've yet to heal/grow from this internalized shame and whatnot in full (plus there's more I could add into it like familial shit, the compassion/thoughtfulness I've had for those people despite what I've mentioned above - like ik they've had their own issues, etc.) I mean, I have been doing better... I've noticed my own growth, but it's been a painfully slow process.

📌 My mom being like "*you're not like your dad!!*" when I talk to her about narc stuff; further feeding my self-doubt/questioning. Also yeah it's likely that my paternal side has tendencies and that my dad has NPD. Way more than me actually LOL (plus I also likely get the OCD from his side, but y'know... Lots of them are old, they're Latinos, and idk what's up w my cousins since I rarely talk to them).

- Uhhhhh can I please claim 🌀🪄?

.

[yutofia]

https://www.tumblr.com/yutofia/757914222960181248/his-venus-is-in-gemini-he-mustve-like-intelligent

I would like to point out everything I say is obvi just how I read his chart and is a actual reflection on him as none is us actually know him . Also this ain’t to make he out as a bad person/partner he is still a fun/nice guy to be around he just might have more problems then others possibly lol

Yes ! You’re correct which is why I would assume he would end up with a professional career such as a doctor/teacher/ or a student . I say student because his charts aligns with having more control over his partner and relationship and leads him to wanting to seeking out a younger partner for a long term relationship. But it’s contradicts what we’ve seen him go for in the past because he is very into have structure in every day life to which he sees having a more mature “ older “ woman as a plus but it won’t work out fully because he won’t be able to have control over a older partner so it will fizzle out or cause a underlying tension in the relationship . With his moon in Leo though he tends to not fully vocalize these emotions because he doesn’t want to come off as insecure so he bottles up all his jealously until he basically snaps . But his chart is kind of a red flag if he doesn’t have a partner who will help him with his emotions personally I think he would best with a Leo , Gemini or cancer . He loves deeply and has extreme loyalty when in love which causes him to harbor a possessive/controlling nature . And when I mean controlling everything coming together it’s like he will have your location and will be checking it if you’re not answering him fast enough . Wants to know who where and why like he really needs a partner who makes him feel secure so he can evolve into a better partner and version of himself . Which makes sense bc when he was April he constantly had her at his side . Which is what he is looking for in a long term partner . He wants them to be smart and successful but he needs them to rely on him in some capacity more then a normal relationship dynamic . Also his chart seems to point out he very much will enjoy begin the breadwinner and want to fully financially take care of his partner because he loves them but it also feeds into his sense of control . Basically him begin in love with you isn’t for the weak . You will have to stand up for yourself/boundaries without upsetting him if you want to keep him . Because obviously ladies you should not let a man control you and your life no matter who he is . Also him begin the one to end things and go back to the same old hookups just feeds his nature to control what happens. He’s basically controlling the on and offs of hookups .

DAMN ANON I FEEL LIKE MY FRONTAL LOBE JUST DEVELOPED BY READING THIS, THANK YOU

Everything you've mentioned makes soooo much sense. I always felt like he would be so clingy, and a control freak in a relationship. He deffo wants his girl to be by his side and would loooove to take care of her financially. Like to have her rely on him is like the best, most masculine thing for him

[scatteredcloud]

I don’t read a ton of fanfiction but I don’t mind labru as a ship and I like longing and devotion and erotic bloodletting, use this as an excuse to infodump if you like, convince me to read :3

You have no idea the can of worms you have unleashed thank you so so much

Ok so disclaimers :

1. NSFW. Naturally.

2. Bloodletting may be putting it diplomatically. It’s blood sucking. Vampire horny style but no one is a actually vampire.

The fic takes place in the post cannon, with Kabru serving as Laios’s royal advisor. Their professional relationship has put them in proximity of each other near constantly, and the simmering obsession that Kabru has had about Laios through the story reaches a boiling point when Laios reveals that he’s become (monstrously) obsessed with Kabru.

What gets me (aside from just like. my own sexual proclivities lmao) is the imo perfect Kabru characterization. I think a lot of people misunderstand what drives him and so when they write him it feels kind of odd. Kabru isn’t a manipulator,in t like abusive sense but he is a…social engineer. And a compulsive liar. And obsessed with Laios. He’s a nice guy, but acts amicable helpful and friendly to mask his social engineering.

This fic really gets that Kabru will say things, not without meaning them, but some part of him projects an image of cool confidence and he will act subconsciously to maintain that mask - in the interest of furthering his own goals. Those goals in this fic happen to be finding plausible ways to be intimate with Laios while maintaining some sort of professional veneer. It also employs a very subtle head cannon of him dealing with intrusive thoughts (kill Laios) in a way that I find pretty authentic and endearing as someone who also deals w intrusive thoughts.

And Laios. Again, characterization is really on point. This fic plays up the like chimeraization of Laios, and it takes his hunger seriously in a way that I think a lot of other fics and the main storyline often play for laughs. It’s about the need for satiation and satisfaction, but never feeling fulfilled. His desire disgusts him, because he’s been told it should, and as king he has every thing he could ever want. But he’s still Laios, he’s earnest and truthful and awkward and what he wants is Kabru. Inside of Laios’s appetite (all meanings of the word) is deep shame and inside of that shame is the sensory seeking autism need to feed on food that is forbidden (monsters, Kabru)

Kabru occupies a space in Laios’s life in the post cannon that we don’t really see equivocated in the main story. During the story he certainly cares deeply for his other party members and values their insight 100%. But Kabru is regent to the throne. In the day in day out running a kingdom, Laios is no figurehead but he works intimately (lol) with Kabru to compensate for his lack of social graces. There’s also the like, subtextual bodyguard implications that Laios is perfectly capable of defending himself but Kabru is acutely trained in combat against other humans, making him especially useful to a newly crowned king in danger of assassination. This is what makes me ship them so hard - Kabru’s story long attempt to know Laios combined with the implications of their post cannon positions

This fic really nails desire as narrative tension in romance - the “I want to, but I cant” “I know we shouldn’t, but we are” Not just erotic/romantic desire either, the desire to maintain appearances, the desire to secure a career. This thing is only three chapters (for now 🤞🏼) but the DEPTH of this erotica is fucking hngdbbsbdbcbcndndbgjgkfkdkdbd

I don’t know when the entire fandom decided Kabru is a trans man but I do like it despite my contrarian impulses. It’s worked in so naturally and I love that its never made A Thing (I don’t even think it’s tagged for it which is what made it a nice surprise in this fic). When Kabru gets hot and bothered it’s discussed in exactly the way that I experience it which makes me just :] yayyyyyyy

This fic brings out the like, service top-ness of Laios also. I’m of the opinion that there’s not a clear top/bottom dynamic between them so I hesitate to put it in those terms but this fic gets that Kabru’s social engineering extends to the bedroom - he knows he can exploit Laois’s earnestness and takes advantage of that leverage

Anyways. I really really should be asleep. My nightly routine has been getting home from work. Lay down. Kick my feet and sigh dreamily about Kabru and Laios for hours so thank you again for indulging me

[loaisacult]

I want to express my gratitude to those who genuinely read my message instead of immediately reacting defensively with a cult-like mentality. Many people seem to be caught in a cognitive dissonance spiral, trying to prove something to themselves rather than to me. If you truly believed in (LOA), you would manifest my influence away or invite me in, as I have chosen to ignore many of you. This behavior seems more about self-validation than proving anything to me.

In my previous statements, I acknowledged my belief in LOA and the power of maneuvering. However, I stressed the importance of not throwing your life away. It's crucial to stop advising suicidal individuals to simply persist in their struggles. Instead, we should encourage them to seek professional help. The support we offer should be genuine and proactive.

It's ironic how some boast about manifesting luxury items like Lamborghinis, which could easily be rented, yet they fail to manifest meaningful change for their followers who are in abusive situations. The focus shouldn't be on pride or proving something to me, but on genuine transformation. Many claims of success within this community can be easily fabricated, which is why skepticism is necessary.

Want to prove to your followers who are spiraling about the American election rather than post persist hehehee how about you manifest for them….. change the election revise life’s an illusion while you’re crying about having your rights taken away lol but you can’t. It’s culty and harmful to children and the fact you people deny that little fact alone is proof you’re in a cult. Loa is real manifesting is real shifting is real but most people in this community lie and are culty 99.999% of the stories here are lies the people doing that shit don’t even post abt it probably think they’re in some dream most of the success here are creative writing and living in the end

[hughiecampbelle]

Being The Youngest Roy Would Include: Pt. 2

A/N: This I'd solely based on this fic, which I am in love with :) I ran out of room on the first part and had much more to say lol

Warning: addiction/addiction mention, abuse/neglect

Being The Youngest Roy Would Include: Pt. 1

Waking up at random underground bars, clubs, random streets in the city not knowing where you were or how you got there. It was definitely scary at times, but you were too numb to care

No one carded you, fearing your name more than your safety

Whenever you were hungover, you could hide away in your own bathroom on your own floor of the house, not that your father went looking for you or would seek you out very often, if at all

Everyone in that house knew. Everyone knew and they said nothing. When you got sick all over your clothes, reeking of a seedy bar or covered in glitter from clubbing, a fresh pair would magically show up folded on your bed. When your nose bled from the drugs and you used a white towel, a fresh one would be replaced in no time

You always believed you were being careful, that nothing bad would happen. You thought you were holding up the charade, and in some cases you were. Logan never said anything to you, about anything. As long you showed up and did as you were told, he didn't really care what you did outside of that

A few times you'd overdosed. Purely on accident, in your room, at the bars, at a party. A few times you woke up in the hospital, the closest one, but no one ever showed up. Even when you collapsed in your own home, your father was too busy in his meeting to pick up. Your mother was your emergency contact and she rarely picked up, too. Doctors knew who you were and that was enough to silence them, for better or for worse

It was easier to pretend this problem didn't exist. Like everything, your father ignored it, swept it under the rug

It wasn't until you called your father for help, drunk, high, crying and scared, unsure of where you were in the middle of the night did he reach out to someone, angry you woke him up, getting your brother to come find you. Your last attempt at seeking his love, his care, cursing yourself for being so stupid as to think he'd care in the first place

Connor dropped everything and got to you, seeing just how fragile and lost you really were for the first time. You could barely keep your eyes open. That scared him to death

It took a lot longer than they'd like to admit to realize you had a problem, that this wasn't just the occasional drink

Connor was the first to suggest an intervention. The rest followed, unsure of what to do, ashamed they hadn't seen any of this sooner

Coming off a high left you feeling low, helpless, and now embarrassed your big brother had seen you in that state. It wouldn't be the last time you'd go to rehab, but it would be the first

The anger came back though, it always did, and with nothing to soften the blow you took it out on yourself, on others. Your siblings were the first targets and no matter how many times you apologize, the guilt eats you up alive. Accusing them of not caring about you, of not noticing. In one particular dark moment you even accuse Roman and Kendall in aiding you in your addictions in the beginning, neither of them knowing. Kendall tries to tell Rome it's not his fault, coming to his baby brothers aid. If you could take one thing back, it would have been that. The look on their faces still haunts you

"Rome, I'm so sorry. I should never have-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I know, okay? I know."

You try getting clean on your own, something your sister makes it known she's against, but there's nothing she can do. When you can't get into places, when they refuse to have you again, you do it by yourself, mostly at Connors ranch. It's secluded, far away from your father. Once you stayed at Kens, a few times with Shiv, but you liked being at Con's the most. It's a mess and really you should be somewhere with professionals, but it's only for when you slip up, for when things are mostly stable, if that can even be measured

In the end, rehab is where you end up. More than a few times. When you get your phone back, one of them always makes sure to pick up your weekly call, even when you talk about nothing, like with Roman

You still thank Connor for picking you up that night

"Don't worry about it, I was happy to."

Being in your fathers presence is a major trigger. You try to stay with your mother for a few weeks, but she always grows uneasy with you around. She doesn't believe in your addictions, in any of your problems. She sends you back to Logan without a second thought, thinking you and your siblings are blowing things out of proportion

You got your own place, somewhere free of association from all those terrible years, all that sickness. You invite your brothers and sister often, trying to make it up to them every single day

You've been clean from everything for a year. Connor couldn't be more proud. Everyday you fear you'll go back to the old you and every day you find a reason, no matter how small, not to. Most of the time it's for your brothers and sister. All the shit you put them through, everything they've done for you, all the times they picked you up from rock bottom, it's the least you could do for them

Kendall still sneaks you candy, one of the last vices you can truly indulge in. Your favorite from when you were a kid. He doesn't hold anything you say against you, knowing what that mindset is like. When you feel yourself slipping, you turn to him. You don't always have to say it, sometimes he just knows, he understands

Shiv still helps you out. Straightens your hair, fixes your collar, doing some damage control with the public when they've turned the story on you, looking after you in those small, significant ways like when you were little. She and Con are the ones to ask if you're okay, if you need a place to stay for a few days, anything at all. Sometimes you even take them up on their offers

You and Roman are closer now, too. He seeks you out at events, hugging you harder than anyone else. He's always kissing your head, holding you close. His comments remain snarky, but for you, self-aware. Nothing that goes too far. He'd always got a glass of sparkling water ready for you so you don't have to go near the bar. What you said hurt him beyond words, but he also knows that was the detoxing you speaking, not the real you. Still, he checks how much is in his glass now, trying to make up for the past

Connor is still the only good father figure in the world. Every year you send him a card for fathers day, writing the same long winded note as a thank you to him. He pretends they don't mean the world to him, but he's got each one in a box under his bed. They make him feel so, so loved

It's not easy. It never will be. You still have to see Logan, talk to him, pretend there's anything left of your relationship. God only knows what story he's spun for Marcia. But it gets more bearable knowing you have people on your side now, that Connor, Kendall, Shiv, and Roman all have your back no matter what. You're their baby sibling after all

[michelleleewise]

Worthy

Pairing: Dark!Thor x female reader

Warnings: nothing too bad in this one, creepiness, swearing, mentions of cheating, toxic relationship, sadness, mild depression, anxiety, therapy and counseling, smut at the end (not graphic), if i missed something please let me know. things will progress as we go, please heed the warnings)

Summary: After leaving a toxic relationship, you take the advice of a friend and seek help.....

A/n: This my very first dark anything, as well as Thor, be gentle with me lol im making this a small series for my lovely friend @springdandelixn 💙 like I mentioned it will progress....keep your flashlights handy..... love you guys!!!!

Part One-

You scroll further down the page, unsure what exactly your looking for....someone to listen....someone who won't judge you. You sigh, you friend Maya's words echoing through your head "you need to talk to someone, this isn't healthy to bottle everything up." She had said over coffee "I am, I'm talkng to you." You laughed seeing her shake her head "a professional y/n." She said sternly making you frown. And here you were, scrolling the endless pages of the internet in search of a "professional."

You sighed again, your thumb sliding across the screen on your phone when it caught your eye "Odinison Health and Rehabilitation." You aren't sure what possessed you as you pressed your thumb to the name, their website popping up as you scrolled down seeing their services, counseling being among the many. "Hmm, this might work." You said to yourself, your thumb hovering over the number. You had always told yourself counseling was a joke, a ploy for doctors to get money from the weak..but everything you had been through the last year......

You quicky dialed the number before you changed your mind, your heart racing more with each ring when a lady picked up "Odinson Health, how may I help you." She asked. "Umm...hi, I was...well you see I saw your website.." you trailed off trying to get your thoughts together "were you interested in one of our services ma'am?" She asked a little too politely "uuhh yes....counseling?" You asked, dragging your nails across the table "yes, we have a few different counselors but I would highly recommend one of the owners." She said, you could hear her smile through the phone. "Oh..ok." you hesitated hearing her fingers pressing the keys on her keyboard "ok, so the Odinson's are brothers, one specializes in psychology and med management, the other specializes in crisis situations, as well as general and family counseling, which would you prefer?" She asks typing.

"Err...um the general counselor I suppose?" You asked looking out of the window seeing a bird land on your window sill. "Ok great, Dr Odinson has a few available spots open, let me just see.." She trailed off typing away. "ok, he has an opening tomorrow at three for a consultation, does that work?" She asked "yeah that should be fine." You said tapping your fingers on the table. "Ok your all set for tomorrow, and he will go over his treatment plan with you then." She said "ok thank you." You said quickly hanging up. Releasing the breath you were holding you set your phone down deciding to finally do the sink of dishes that had been staring at you for days wondering what tomorrow would bring.

ooOOoo

You sat in your car staring at the building in front of you willing yourself to go inside, looking down seeing it was almost three you took a deep breath "ok...you can do this, what's the worst that could happen?" You asked yourself shutting your car off. You grabbed your keys and phone heading inside, seeing two ladies sitting behind either side of a long counter "hi! Can I help you?" The one looks up smiling, her like dark hair flowing past her shoulders "y..yes...I'm here to see Dr Odinson." You say fidgeting with your keys "which one?" The other lady snaps. "Um...counseling." you say quietly, afraid she'll bark at you again "oh great! Your in the right place then." The dark haired lady smiled.

You finished your paperwork, sitting in the waiting room absently scrolling through your phone when a text popped up. You wanted to ignore it, pretend you had never seen it. You had spent the last month pretending he never existed, the reason you were currently sitting waiting to talk to a compete stranger about your entire life. You sighed, deciding against your better judgment to open the message.

Shaun- Baby, why won't you talk to me? You know why I did what I did. If you had kept up with your responsibilities I wouldn't have looked elsewhere, I'm not the one to blame here. Now text me back and stop being childish.

You sat there staring at the screen, not sure how to react. It was true the last few months of your relationship had been rocky at best. Between you both working all the time and him hanging out with his friends you had no time together, let alone the energy for any intimacy. Somedays it took all you had to just climb into bed at night before doing it all over again. Hence the night you came home from work to another woman in your bed. A pang of sadness ran through you at the memory...

"That's it baby...mm God you feel so good." You heard Shaun moan through the door, the faceless woman moaning his name loudly as the headboard banged against the wall. You had told your boss you wanted to leave early to surprise your boyfriend with dinner, you weren't prepared for the surprise you had waiting for you. "Do i feel better then her daddy?" You heard the woman moan as tears welled in your eyes "so much better baby...she could never compare to this perfect cunt." You heard Shaun growl, hearing a loud thud against the wall.

You turned from the closed door, making you way to the kitchen you took the boxes of take out out of their bags, placing them in the fridge before sitting at the table, waiting. You weren't sure how long you sat there dazed when you heard voices coming down the hall "she's gonna be home soon, but I'll call you later baby. Maybe we can meet up again tomorrow?" You heard him ask opening the front door "anything for you..daddy." the woman replied before your heard the door shut, footsteps making their way into the kitchen stopping suddenly "how long have you been here?" Shaun asked. You looked up seeing his hair a mess, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers "long enough." You sighed looking down.

"Miss y/n?" You heard your name called, snapping you back to now, seeing a dark haired man standing in the doorway with a clipboard "I'm here, sorry." You said grabbing your keys following him. "So as you know you'll be seeing Dr odinson, this is strictly a consultation, so any questions you have feel free to ask ok?" He said smiling "ok, I will." You said as he led you to a closed door knocking on it "come in." You heard a deep booming voice on the other side sending a jolt through you "don't worry, he's a bit loud but he's really very nice." The man said opening the door. You took a deep breath, walking inside as the man closed the door behind you making you jump.

"Ah, you must me miss y/n, I'm Dr Odinson, but please, call me Thor." The man said standing from behind his desk. He smiled widely as he walked around, holding his hand out your eyes met the bluest ones you had ever seen, shining at you like diamonds through the glasses that seemed to frame his face perfectly "h..hi, I'm y/n." You stuttered, slowly reaching for his hand. "Yes, you are." He smiled "come, have a seat and we can talk." He said gesturing to the chair in front of his desk. You slowly sat down watching him walk around taking his seat, his large frame taking up a majority of the chair "so miss y/n, what brings you here today?" He asked, leaning his elbows on the desk, his large hands cupped together under his chin "Well, you see....I have a friend who said I needed to talk to someone, so here i am." You said looking down at your feet.

"Y/n, look at me." He said sternly making your eyes shoot to his "there you are." He smiled "now, I'm glad you have friends who are looking out for you but there must be a reason you decided to come today." He said watching you intently. "Umm...well i..." you trailed off, looking around the room seeing his diploma hung on the wall, as well as a painting of a lightning storm behind him. "Y/n..." he said making you look at him again "i...I recently left a bad relationship, a..and I'm having alot of issues." You said quietly seeing him nod "and well, I'm told I'm bottling it up." You said fidgeting with your keys again. "Do you feel like you are bottling it up?" He asked leaning forward a bit "I guess...maybe. I don't know." You sighed seeing him pick up a pen, writing something on his notepad.

"Can you briefly tell me what happened?" He asked looking up at you, his eyes boring into you "um, well i..I'd rather not." You said balling your fist "well y/n, in order for me to help you, we need to talk about it." He smiled. "I just..I don't think I'm ready. I'm sorry I wasted your time," you said, quickly getting to your feet as he did making your way to the door "wait y/n, please." He said, following you, placing a large hand on the door as you grabbed the handle "I apologize, I wasn't trying to force you." He said quietly, feeling the heat from his chest against your back, his frame towering over you making you crane your head to look at him, his cologne hitting your nose reminding you of sunshine and rain storms "please, let's sit back down hm?" He asked, not moving his hand from the door.

You took a deep breath, dropping your hand from the door you slowly walked back to your chair, this time he grabbed another chair setting it next to you as he sat down facing you, his knee brushing yours "I understand your apprehension, you don't know me as I don't know you, but you must understand I only wish to help you." He said, his eyes almost too bright to look at as you nodded. "Very good, now tell me..when was the last time you ate? And not junk food either." He asked leaning forward "oh...um a few days." You said seeing him nod "and the last time you truly relaxed, just let your mind go?" He continued "oh..never probably." You said with a small laugh.

You shifted in your seat feeling his gaze intensify. "Well y/n, I think your friend is right. I think you are trying to cope, but in an unhealthy manner." He said "but do not worry, I'm here for you." He smiled, his hand grazing your thigh as he shifted making you stiffen. "I will take very good care of you." He continued, placing his large hand on your knee squeezing "umm, well doctor odins...." you started "please, call me Thor." He said squeezing your knee again, his touch feeling electric as the door flew open, a dark haired man storming inside as Thor retracted his hand.

"I told you to meet me thirty minutes ago." The man snapped crossing his arms "as you can see, I am with a patient." Thor said standing up. "Yes, I can see that I'm not daft Thor, when will you be finished?" The man asked, his deep emerald eyes glaring at you "give me five minutes." Thor said walking around to the other side of his desk as the other man sighed, leaving the room. "Please, forgive my brother, he can be quite impatient." Thor laughed shifted through some papers "Brother?" You asked, looking at Thor's dark blonde hair and large build compared to the other man's raven hair and lithe build "yes..adopted." Thor said matter of factly as you nodded.

"Ok, y/n I would like to begin seeing you once a week to begin your treatment." Thor said writing something down "that often?" You asked furrowing your eyebrows "yes, I believe whatever happened with this.."relationship" has put a great deal on you, and I want to help you." He said air quoting. "I'm not sure I can afford that." You said as he stood, rounding the desk again "I told you y/n..I will take care of you. You have nothing to worry about" He smiled, handing you an appointment card, your fingers brushing his sending a shock through your finger tips. You looked down seeing your appointment was in a few days as you stood up, slipping it into your pocket "ok, thank you doct...Thor." You corrected seeing him smile "good girl, now come." He said, a shiver running through you at his praise making you feel uneasy.

He opened the door, waving you in front of him as he locked his door following behind you. "Now y/n, I want you to go home, take a nice hot bath, slip into your softest nightgown and...relax." He smiled, his eyes traveling up and down your body making you tense "are you ready Thor?" You heard the man before "family...am I right?" He smiled again as you chuckled nervously "I shall see you in a few days miss y/n." He said tilting his head "see you then." You said, hurrying towards the door, looking back seeing his eyes hadn't left you you quickly walked out, making your way to your car as fast as you could.

ooOOoo

You drove home, thinking about the interaction with the doctor. Maybe he's a toucher...you thought to yourself getting out of the car, remembering the grip he had on your knee, his large hand splayed across the door when you tried to leave. You could still feel his eyes on you, sending a shiver down your spine as you walked into your apartment, dropping your keys in the bowl by the door. You looked around sighing as you took in the silence. It had been a month since you moved out of your shared apartment with Shaun and you still weren't used to it. You walked to your room, pulling out your silk night gown laying it out on your bed, grabbing a towel you headed to the bathroom, sitting on the tub you turned the water on, pouring in your favorite lilac scented bubble bath, watching the tub fill as you undressed, stepping in lowering yourself into the hot water you closed your eyes, laying back letting it work the tension from your muscles.

"That's it muffin...relax for me." he whispered in your ear making you sigh, feeling his large hand slowly run up your thigh. "I need to see if you taste as sweet as you sound." He cooed, his lips slowly trailing down your collarbone, his teeth grazing your skin making your back arch. "Ah ah, be a good girl and hold still." He said, his deep voice vibrating through you as he lowered himself between your legs, spreading his hand across your stomach. "Mm..you smell exquisite." He growled, placing a kiss on your inner thigh, nipping at the sensative skin as your fingers threaded through his hair, pulling him closer.

"Eager are we?" He laughed, hooking your legs over his wide shoulders. "Don't worry muffin...I'll take good care of you." He purred, placing a soft kiss on your hip bone. "Aaahh....y....yes.....please...." you moaned, trying to rock closer to him, whining as his hand on your stomach held you in place, his large biceps locking your legs around him "I thought you were going to be my good girl." He said, his breath grazing your flesh "i..I am..I'm s...sorry." you breathed, trying to hold as still as possible. "That's right....show me you are worthy..." he trailed off. You opened your eyes, seeing the white ceiling looking down your eyes met electric blue ones seeing him smile as his lips met you skin..

You jolted up, water splashing to the floor as you gripped the side of the tub. "Holy shit." You breathed, running a hand through your hair. You looked down seeing the bubbles had dissipated, still able to feel his hands on you...his warmth seeping into you. "I need a vacation." You muttered, standing up wrapping the towel around yourself heading into your bedroom. You quickly changed, laying in bed you stared at the ceiling, the dream about your doctor leaving an uneasy feeling inside you, deciding it might be best to look for a different therapist as you closed your eyes hoping for a dreamless sleep.

I didn't know who else wanted to be tagged lol

@mochie85 @vbecker10

[fire-bay]

My condolences, loosing someone that close to you is hard. I lost both of my parents fairly young. Some unsolicited advice: The tendency to beat yourself up over “shoulda coulda” is easy, but don’t do it. It makes the depression worse, im speaking from experience. Give yourself time to feel your feelings, seek professional help if you can and don’t close yourself off from friends/family, but set boundaries while the wound is fresh so you can limit the depressive episodes and pain from clumsy but well meaning interactions. And if you can find support groups for your specific type of grief you should try and join. It helps hearing others stories and experiences, sometimes just having someone to talk too who knows what you’re dealing with helps too, even if they are just there to listen. I know how hard it is where you are right now but it gets bearable, i promise, the world still turns even if yours has stopped. Catch up when you are ready. The ache never goes away but thats ok, you learn to understand it and live with it and it will ache less frequently eventually. If you need to talk, though im on anon, im more than willing to lend a supporting ear in pms/ims. All you need do is ask. - JAnon

Anon I... I just saw and this smacked me right in the head that this is the kindest thing anyone has said to me about grief thank you, I don't have enough words to convey my gratitude helped from not taking a stupid decision lol

[dwtdog]

i feel like cc's should maybe learn that they should take time away from social media and speak to professionals/really really good friends before saying serious things. like i feel like that would really really help everyone and this is just in general like their first thoughts are like oh something happened i should tell the world which leads ahem breaching privacy or just not being ready in general for things. so in all people need to seek help and we need the farm

-promise-me-moon

honestly that would be one of the best takeaways anyone could get from this whole thing from cc's to viewers lol TO THE FARM