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anim-ttrpgs · 4 months

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Cover your eyes! Announcing the Gorgon Initiative for Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy

(promotional art by @theblackwarden, one of our team artists)

Okay so, we had a bunch of stretch goals in the Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy Kickstarter, and we actually did hit more of them than expected, but there was one of them we didn’t hit, the playable gorgon.

The gorgon being a playable monster type was stuck at the very back of the stretch goal list, mainly because we thought of it way later than all the other stretch goals, but honestly it was one of the possibilities that I was most excited for, and apparently, so were a whole lot of our fans. The gorgon monster type would perfectly round out Eureka’s roster of playable supernatural creatures, and we would really like to make it happen, despite not really having the budget for it since we didn’t hit the stretch goal.

Here are a few of what the gorgon’s key features would have been:

>Anyone who makes direct eye-contact with the gorgon turns to stone.

>A venomous bite, making them gorgon the second playable monster type to be able to inflict a poison effect.

>Cold-blooded. Won’t feel great in low temperature environments, but won’t show up on thermal sensors either.

>Scaly skin.

>Snake hair optional.

>Claws.

>Eating people like a snake.

And all this wrapped up in Eureka’s unique humanity-focused approach to monsters. How will your PC cope with their power to instantly kill anyone who looks at them wrong, whether they want to or not? That’s the kind of character development you can look forward to with a gorgon in the party.

So here is what we are going to do to make it happen despite the budget not accounting for it. It’s going to be a patreon initiative.

(promotional art by @qsycomplainsalot, one of our team artists)

If we can get up to 50 total paid patreon subscribers by the end of June, we will put the gorgon in the game. Currently, we have 33, so if y'all can manage to make that climb to 50 by July 1st, we will promise to make time and budget to add the gorgon in to the rulebook before final release. Ultimately, even 20-ish more patreon subscribers is less money than the stretch goal would have been, but we feel that it would be a good enough addition to the game to justify, especially because it's what the fans want, and because long-term patreon support is very valuable. You get regular Eureka rulebook PDFs as a part of the patreon, and even though there is also a free demo, the more more-updates copies or Eureka floating around, the better. We want people actually playing this game, and playing better and better versions of it. We’d release it all for free if we didn’t need the money to “earn a living.”

Supporting us on patreon isn’t pure charity either. At the $3 tier, you get access to our patreon discord server where our team discusses development of the game and gets feedback from fans, as well in a vote on which projects we tackle next.

At the $5 tier and beyond, you get that, plus regular PDFs of the most current and up-to-date version of our projects. In addition to a version of the Eureka rulebook with many more features than the current free version, there’s stuff you currently can’t get anywhere else, like Eureka adventure modules, short stories, and even a novella, all unreleased anywhere else.

So, sign up to our patreon, it’s only a few dollars a month, and help out with the gorgon initiative. At the time of writing this, we have 33/50 paid subscribers, and I’ll update the goal as we go.

And below the cut, I’ll show you the current changelog for the Eureka rulebook, so you can see what all $5+ patreon subscribers are going to get in the next big patreon update coming Thursday, June 6th. This changelog isn’t even fully conclusive, as work will continue on the rulebook throughout the week to make it even better before Thursday. That's a whole lot for just $5! I will also post the rough notes that exist for the gorgon mechanics as they appear right now.

(A new version of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy will be coming to $5+ patreon subscribers on the first Thursday of the month every month until final release, and after that you'll start getting the beta versions of whatever our next project turns out to be.)

CHANGELOG

CHAPTER 1

Have started working on replacing the examples of play with updated ones that actually fit the current and slightly more stable version of the rules. These will be found in various chapters. You can see them in the table of contents.

Added a Foreword, a section on other media to offer you inspiration when playing eureka, and a section on some of the subtler themes of eureka

Copy-edited Foreword

A few minor clarifications in the Making Rolls section

Added a chart explaining the percentage chances of failures, partial successes, and full successes for modifiers from -7 to +7.

Added Heat optional rule. A whole new set of mechanics for tracking how much police attention the investigators may be drawing, as well as how law enforcement will respond. Currently a work-in-progress, but mostly functional already.

CHAPTER 2

Added the Forgery skill to write-in skills

Many new snoops have been added.

Removed the “Seating” stat for vehicles, you know how many people can safely fit in a car

Removed the placeholder boat entries from the item list because we did not hit that kickstarter stretch goal

Added Skateboard to item list.

Added four-wheeler to item list.

Added Acceleration values to all vehicles in the vehicle list. Acceleration is a new stat used with the new way that Speed is calculated for Chases.

Adjusted the Driving bonus of motorcycles and dirtbikes.

Changed Large Mansion cost to 25 Wealth Points in character creation.

Started copy-editing this chapter.

CHAPTER 3

Added vehicle crashes to irregular forms of damage section

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

Completely revamped the way that Speed is calculated.

Added a mechanic to determine how many nodes ahead a fleeing character starts.

Added an optional rule for bringing an end to chases

Added vehicle attack rules for use during car chases

Added more guidelines for how to make your own obstacles

Added recommended numbers of nodes for chases and recommended distance between obstacles

Added the work-in-progress random obstacle tables

On-Foot Urban Chase Obstacles table is finished but not edited

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

Increased capacity of an unfurled thing from beyond’s ‘stomach’ from three to fourteen.

Thing from beyond can now more easily attempt to engulf more victims after already containing one or more. This now prompts an escape attempt by victims inside rather than automatic escape.

Thing from beyond can now get a bonus to mimicry attempts by consuming a sample of the intended mimicry target’s DNA.

Thing from beyond can now attempt to mimic a person they have never seen or heard by consuming a sample of their DNA, but narrator makes a hidden roll about it, so accuracy of mimicry will be unknown.

Gave acceleration value to witch’s brooms and other flying transportation

Gave Acceleration of +6 to Superhuman Speed trait

Gave vampire small bat manifestation +2 Acceleration

Gave vampire wolf manifestation +4 Acceleration

Gave vampire massive bat beast manifestation +4 Acceleration

Gave wolfman wolf form +4 Acceleration

Gave lycanthrope wolf form +4 Acceleration

Added ability to resist curses to fairy and witch

Added ability for fairy to transfer curses to different names as a means of protecting themselves from curses. This gives them more of an incentive to collect names.

Added a tiny bit about the fairy world

Added Monsters Eating Monsters section to provide rulings for some edge cases where monsters might eat other monsters and what would happen if they did

ROUGH GORGON DESIGN NOTES

[Notes: Turn people to stone by looking them in the eye. Definitely not a power that the Gorgon can turn on and off, they will have to cover their eyes somehow, such as dark sunglasses or a veil, to prevent it happening to everyone they make eye contact with. Also works the other way around so you could protect yourself by wearing dark sunglasses. Still works even if the Gorgon is dead, like in the legends. Does not work through cameras, reflections, images, etc. Turning to stone is permanent, basically instant kill? Works like the witch curse except with infinite duration unless a witch undoes it like a curse. If there is no eye protection, could be a reflex roll on the gorgon’s part or on an aware victim’s part to break eye-contact quickly enough for the curse not to take effect. Also, they could have some kind of bonus to Threaten because all the legends say that they look particularly frightening.

Have claws and maybe scaly skin or scales in patches, maybe snake-like eyes and snake tongue that can taste air? Sharp teeth and maybe venomous snake fangs? People will really really want their gorgons to have snake hair even though in the legends, it was only Medusa herself that had snake hair. Compromise by making it an optional rule agreed upon by narrator and player that they have snake hair. Snakes may have venomous bite attack but the trade off is that it makes it way harder to conceal the gorgon’s identity as a Gorgon.

Gorgons do not regain composure points from turning people to stone, all other monsters regain composure points by *consuming* their victims in some way, except for fairies who regain composure from playing mean pranks because it makes them happy. Keeping with the rule of monsters eating people and also the fact that the legends always describe gorgons as having snake-like trait, maybe they swallow victims whole like a snake? Great horror concept but takes a long time. Could mechanically work very very similar to thing from beyond’s composure restoration where they gain 1 composure point each day for however many days. Could advise loose and bulky clothing to cover this up. Cannot really decide how to codify this because the most obvious way would make it pretty impossible to hide for a very long time. Could probably make multiple optional rules that regain composure at different rates and digest victims at different rates. One option that gets a lot more composure over time from a single victim like the thing from beyond but is very conspicuous that entire time. Other option that digests the whole victim extremely fast so they are only conspicious for a short time but ultimately less composure from a single kill. No option to regain composure from victim without killing them, like thing from beyond. No composure restoration from normal food but can eat it to stay alive, like the thing from beyond?

Do they have proper weaknesses besides just the normal things that everybody is weak to, like sharp objects? Probably should not have the Unkillable trait, but need to come up with at least one weakness that does not stray too far from the legends. Maybe they are cold-blooded, following the snake theme? Makes them very vulnerable to cold temperatures, and jackets and blankets don’t help because they don’t produce their own body heat. Big Physical skill penalties when they are in cold environments?

What is their second mandatory monster trait? They don’t *need* one but every other monster has their powers split across two monster traits.]

Actually it would be pretty good if they had to make a Monster(fear) Composure check if they saw their face in the mirror

Their blood is either healing or poisonous depending on if it is from the left or right side. left side kills, right side heals. Make it veinous vs arterial blood..... But this would have no effect on vampires

We have GOT to get the gorgon in if we have time, it’s such a good idea

Elegantly designed and thoroughly playtested, Eureka represents the culmination of three years of near-daily work from our team, as well as a lot of our own money. If you’re just now reading this and learning about Eureka for the first time, you missed the crowdfunding window unfortunately, but our Kickstarter page is still the best place to learn more about what Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy actually is, as that is where we have all the fancy art assets, the animated trailer, links to video reviews by podcasts and youtubers, and where we post regular updates on the status of our progress finishing the game and getting it ready for final release.

Beta Copies through the Patreon

If you want more than just status updates, going forward you can download regularly updated playable beta versions of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy and it’s adventure modules by subscribing to our Patreon at the $5 tier or higher. Subscribing to our patreon also grants you access to our patreon discord server where you can talk to us directly and offer valuable feedback on our progress and projects.

The A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club

If you would like to meet the A.N.I.M. team and even have a chance to play Eureka with us, you can join the A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club discord server. It’s also just a great place to talk and discuss TTRPGs, so there is no schedule obligation, but the main purpose of it is to nominate, vote on, then read, discuss, and play different indie TTRPGs. We put playgroups together based on scheduling compatibility, so it’s all extremely flexible. This is a free discord server, separate from our patreon exclusive one. https://discord.gg/7jdP8FBPes

Other Stuff

We also have a ko-fi and merchandise if you just wanna give us more money for any reason.

We hope to see you there, and that you will help our dreams come true and launch our careers as indie TTRPG developers with a bang by getting us to our base goal and blowing those stretch goals out of the water, and fight back against WotC's monopoly on the entire hobby. Wish us luck.

#monsters #gorgon #medusa #ttrpg #queer art #ttrpg tumblr #ttrpg community #greek mythology #percy jackson #tabletop #eureka: investigative urban fantasy #eureka #roleplaying #rpg

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pacific-rimbaud · 3 months

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i'm curious how do you feel about dramione community now?

i'm a new writer, long time reader and can't help but feel like the fandom and the ship changed so much and i wonder if i even have a place in it anymore.

there's so much demand for the writers from the readers (constant update demands, no willingness to engage with wips) and at the same time i've been in a couple of dramione writer communities where other writers are openly pressuring each other to either start tiktok or finish the fic before posting it (the new dramione writers society discord server specifically).

particularly upset when i see people advising each other to commission art to promote their fic for writing.

it seems like that space for writers to be just writers becomes smaller and smaller and readers are not interested in the fandom but rather the next hot fic that's getting traction.

and all that combined with the overall hatred toward dramione as a ship outside of dramione.

I've genuinely stopped writing because of this. and i'm sad that i lost that one hobby that made me feel good, as it now seems like a popularity contest more than just fandom fun.

you seem like you're able to balance your love for writing with the changed landscape of the fandom. at least from the outside posts :D

DHr grew exponentially in the short time I spent in the ship, and that growth will only accelerate as big name fandom writers continue to enter traditional publishing with seven-figure book and film deals.

Life is change. Change is death. It's okay to grieve what's gone and won't come back.

And I want to add: keep writing. No matter what. But that would be hypocritical. I haven't written in a year, and remain deeply uncertain about whether or not I'll take it up again. It's a real puzzle.

The relevant questions seem to be: why do I want to write? And: what spaces feel nurturing to me as a writer?

The first one's easy. I write because I like the films I see in my head. I like the way language sounds. I like to experience the past, and to be swept away by intense emotions. It's like having a Holodeck in my head. And sometimes, when everything clicks, I get to describe my little bespoke scenarios in words that make a nice sound when they rub up against one another.

I'm waiting on a good answer to the second question. All I know is that art, criticism and commerce have always been an incredibly awkward ménage à trois. No shade to folks seeking to work the fandom algorithm and secure the bag (posting already completed work on a schedule, writing popular tropes and characterizations, and using original art in social media marketing are all great ways to do that). Whether money changes hands or merely attention (which can be converted into money), that's commerce having its turn at the wheel.

I'm suspicious that my creative brain is commerce-repulsed. Maybe yours is, too. So it goes.

I'm certain that we shouldn't let that keep us off the Holodeck.

So. Make a deal with me. I promise to run some freaky little scenarios in the simulator this summer if you'll do the same. Then let's meet in the limestone cave and paint our blorbos by candlelight. Let's tell them around the campfire. Come draw them with me in the sand.

#you asked I answered

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navybrat817 · 8 months

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Why are your updates so short? 😢

Hi, nonnie! How are you? Hope you're well.

How am I doing? Glad you asked.

Work is, well, work. I have a full time job. I'm actually trying to get promoted! I have a big interview for that next week. If I don't get it, that's okay. I can apply again for it this summer. Regardless, I'll have to work twice as hard when I get it or work twice as hard to earn the promotion midyear.

When I'm not working, I have my kiddos. I've tossed around getting a babysitter for random nights or weekends because most of my friends and relatives that can watch or spend time with them are over 800 miles away. In between making memories with them and when they're sleeping, my hubby wants some quality time together and so do I.

I also need to sleep, so there's that.

Doesn't leave much room for writing some days, does it? I fit it in where I can. So, that means some updates or ficlets may be very short. Some weeks you may not hear much from me at all. I would LOVE to churn out long stories, but I simply can't most days. I've still shared over 14k worth of stuff so far this month, so I'm proud of that.

Writing is a hobby that I love, work is a necessity as it pays for everything, my kiddos need their mother, and my hubby needs his wife.

When I say I'm doing my best, I'm saying it with my whole chest.

Thanks for stopping by.

#navybrat answers #blog ask #writer ask #i'm le tired #i'm doing my best #asks are always appreciated

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another-lost-mc · 2 months

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hi, i have quick question

are you going to stop writing for obey me? because i feel like you started to write more for your OCs ?

i have been following you for 2 years but recently i don't really see any obey me fics/hc

Short answer: Writing takes longer than it did in the past because of real life (chronic health woes and a promotion at work) which means less free time/spoons for fun stuff.

Long answer: Writing as a hobby is a balancing act. When I have the time and energy to write, I try to work on:

Canon writing

OCs and world building (it keeps me invested when NB doesn't)

My writing contributions for the Fics for Gaza campaign

My other fandom side blog writing projects (TWST, JJK, HSR)

It's not that I don't write for the canon characters anymore, it just isn't happening at the (honestly ridiculous) pace as last year. My ask box is always open to talk about the game or its characters and the longer, more time-consuming things are posted when I'm able to.

In case you missed them, these are some of the recent canon cast posts:

The Worst Goodbye / Welcome Home (nearly 10k words of Nightbringer-inspired angst and hurt/comfort, sponsored to completion by Fics for Gaza donations)

This Mephisto Gossip Girl-inspired short fic (demons doing demon things sustains me)

If in doubt, my most recent works are linked on the pinned post and everything else is in the masterlists (I'm in the process of updating them a bit so apologies if they look wonky).

#jes.replies #I'm just a tired geek trying her best

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prepolyglot-moved · 2 years

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Langblr Reactivation Challenge

Hello everyone! As you may know I've created this challenge to help revive the langblr community. It's a three week challenge designed to get you back into learning languages and (hopefully) give you ideas on how to study and share your knowledge of them. It is completely optional to do, but try to reblog other people's posts if you aren't participating.

The challenge is designed to be done daily, however if you miss a day, you can go back and do it later or continue from where you left off. I do encourage you to do your best to keep up with the challenge though. Tag your posts with #langblr reactivation challenge so that others can find your posts.

If you have any questions, please send me an ask or a message and I'll do my best to answer it.

I'll put the prompts under a read more so this post isn't ridiculously long. Good luck to everyone participating! Remember the best way to promote the langblr revival is by reblogging other people's work.

Week 1

Day 1: Create an introduction post about yourself. What's your name? What languages are you studying? What languages do you hope to study? What do you hope you'll get out of this challenge? Add whatever else you’d like to your introduction post!

Day 2: Write a list of goals you have for your target languages. Make both long term and short term goals. An overall goal could be to have the ability to talk with native speakers with ease and a smaller goal would be to finally learn that difficult grammar point that's been plaguing you for ages. How will you achieve them?

Day 3: Create a list or a Mindmap of vocabulary topics. Start with a broad topic and narrow down to more specific topics. An example could be bedroom - furniture - closet - clothes or travelling - languages - study words - school supplies. Keep a hold of this because you'll use it later to create vocab to study. Some broad topics to start with: house, school, work, travelling, friends and family, nature, city. Feel free to use these or think of your own. Share your mindmap so others can get some ideas if they need it. Here are some mind map creation tools (x) (x) (x).

Day 4: Create a vocab list for one of the topics you created yesterday, if you want to make more, feel free to make as many as you like! Share your list and reblog other people's lists. And most importantly, make sure you study these words!

Day 5: Find a video in your target language and watch it as many times as you need to in order to understand it. Make a post about the video. What was it about? Did you like the video? Was it difficult to understand? Make sure you link the video. Try to write your answers in your target language, but if you can’t that’s okay!

Day 6: Look up 3 idioms in your target language and explain what they mean and how you use them in a sentence (with an example!).

Day 7: Send asks to other langblrs (bonus points if it's in a shared target language!) asking them about whatever (for example, ask how their day was, ask questions about their target languages, or share some of your thoughts with them). If you receive one, answer it! You can ask more than one person and it can be on or off anon.

Week 2

Day 1: Over the next week, create a playlist/playlists of songs in your target language(s), they can either have a specific mood or genre or they can be a collection of songs you've discovered. When you feel like you're done with your playlist, share it so others can find some new songs. If you already have a playlist, you can add songs to it and update it.

Day 2: Write an explanation on a grammar rule in your target language (such as verb tenses, exceptions, word order, etc). Include sentences to show how and when it is used.

Day 3: Either make a vocab list or find a vocab list you like and make sentences using those words. You can make them as long or as short as you like. This is a good way to contextualise vocab words and learn them in context. Share your sentences and highlight the vocab word.

Day 4: Record yourself reading an article, short story, or passage (basically anything written in your target language). Listen to it and see if you can point out any areas you can improve with your speaking and any areas that you're doing well. You can post your recording if you wish.

Day 5: Post at least 2 songs that you like in your target language. Make sure you add a link to them so people can go listen to them.

Day 6: Share a study tip you have. This can range from how you organize your notes to playlists that help you study to apps you use to review. Just something that you find makes studying easier (and more fun).

Day 7: Share with everyone some langblrs you enjoy seeing on your dash, try to put at least 5 people (and make sure you @ them!).

Week 3

Day 1: Remember that playlist you made/are making? Take a song you really like and make a vocab list of words you don't understand, learned from the song, or recognize but don't quite remember. Post so others can see and link the song. If you have extra time and/or want a bit more of a challenge, translate the song as well, either into English or another language.

Day 2: Write about a festival or holiday that is celebrated in a country that speaks your target language. This can be either something you’ve celebrated yourself, have wanted to participate in, or have never heard of before. You can write this in any language you’d like.

Day 3: Make another vocab list from the list you made at the beginning of the challenge. If you are learning two or more languages, make the vocab list in 3 languages (meaning for example: French, German, and English or Japanese, Arabic, and Ukrainian).

Day 4: Find a recipe written in your target language and translate it into your native language (or another language of your choice) or find a recipe in your native language and translate it into your target language. Bonus points if you actually make it (share pictures if you do)!

Day 5: Create a collection of resources you use to study/learn your target language. Add links to them if possible so others can also use them.

Day 6: Create a post explaining a grammar rule that you had/are having difficulties learning. If you’re currently having difficulties, do your best to explain and ask others to help you understand it better. Include example sentences in your explanation.

Day 7: How do you feel at the end of this challenge? Did you meet any goals while doing this? Do you feel more confident in your language abilities? Where do you think you'll go from here? Answer these questions either in your native language or your target language.

Hopefully you guys enjoy/enjoyed this challenge. After you've completed the challenge, I encourage you to continue your studies in your target languages and support others in theirs.

#langblr reactivation challenge #langblr #languages #polyglot

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btsxmalereaders · 2 years

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break my heart myself

♡ pairing — lee minho x male reader

> genre — fluff | angst

> word count — 4,02k

> summary — despite being integrated into stray kids a little late, minho and you quickly clicked and started a great relationship. unfortunately, some fans can't still see it.

> tags — 9th!member, idol!au, jealousy, happy ending.

> a/n — hihi! i hope you enjoy this, and i'm sorry i'm a bit late posting your request u.u happy belated birthday, lovely anon!

You were certainly not having the best time now. Starting off by these couple of days have been really tough since your group is having a comeback soon; so you had to deal with rehearsals that didn’t seem to have an ending soon, a lot of photograph sessions with tons of makeup and dress changes, and endless nights locked up in the studio to write and record songs.

You tried to tell yourself it’s easy. Reminding yourself and repeating comforting words like it’ll all be over soon, and you’d be able to enjoy performing and connect with fans once the promotions started, but you were getting tired.

“Hey, are you ready for today’s recording? Everyone but us and Minho are already at the studio.” Changbin pats your shoulder and brings you back down to earth, to later nod get up from the couch. You were still sleepy and wanted to take a quick nap in the living room while everyone was getting ready, but you got too deep in your thoughts and you couldn’t get the chance to do it.

Minho exits your shared bedroom and sweetly smiles at you, approaching quickly and opening his arms to embrace you right after.

“Are you okay, sleepyhead?” He softly murmurs, making you chuckle.

“Yeah, just a bit tired. I’ll be better once we get to the studio, though.” You tell him not to worry him too much; Minho already had enough on his plate.

“Alright, the minivan is outside now, let’s go quickly before everyone starts complaining.” Changbin says.

It’s a quiet ride. Changbin decided to put on his headphones and listen to, you suppose, things he composed late night hours the past few weeks, meanwhile your head is resting on Minho’s shoulder as he scrolls down tiktok and laughs with you, liking cute kitty videos and some other random stuff about Stray Kids and another accounts he follows, obviously on a secret account.

Suddenly, an edit from a fan pops up. Short clips and photos of your boyfriend and Han at the rhythm of a love song. You don't say a thing, not even flinch, and Minho just keeps scrolling as if nothing happened.

Certainly, you have noticed all those fan edits, tweets and messages on vlive about the friendship between Minho and Jisung. It started even before you joined the group, so you understood where they were coming from, it still didn't make you feel comfortable about it. Because, even though you respected and loved their friendship, you didn't like the fact that your boyfriend was being shipped with another person by lots of people, while the attention of your dynamics, despite it being a little bit more subtle for obvious reasons, was being underestimated.

Nothing much was said in the way, Minho locked his phone a few minutes right before arriving and pressed a soft kiss on your forehead. You walk separately, just in case, but as soon as you're on the 5th floor of the building, he takes your hand and smoothly squeezes.

"Oh god, you're finally here. What took you so long?" Hyunjin groans and stands up from his chair as soon as you enter Chan's studio.

"Sorry, I actually took my time to have breakfast, not like you who ate under 5 minutes and ran away."

Changbin tries to defend himself and leaves his belongings on the desk.

"It's not our fault you eat so slowly." Hyunjin continues to joke, so Bin furrows.

"Okay, okay, enough. We have a lot of work to do today." Chan steps up with a smile and starts giving updates for you guys and general directions.

So you all do as told, spending a good time deep in the lyrics of a new song and getting familiarized with it, owning it and adding everyone's details, singing with your hearts and praising each other. It's a song Jisung wrote and you all couldn’t help but be amazed by how great it was.

After a few hours of singing and arranging, you all decided it was time to take a break and get something to have for lunch. The maknae line offered to go to the cafeteria and get you all food, meanwhile Chan, Minho, Changbin and you waited and threw some ideas to continue with the recording; well, it was mainly Changbin and Chan arranging some stuff, too deep in their world meanwhile you two were snuggled on the couch.

His fingers on your hair, touching softly, a humming which you could say resembled the singing of an angel, and his other hand with a tight holding of your back. Yet so careful and subtle. You loved the way Minho made you feel; like home, safe and sound. Loved, above all.

You were so grateful to get the chance to be part of the group, since you joined a little later, but it still impressed you the easiness of how they welcomed you and how the fans were happy about it. After all, it was meant to be. You 'd like to think that, at least.

In between the calmness that just set, you look up to find Minho with his eyes closed, so you admire him closely; every mole, his bright and soft skin, his calm breath, his humming alongside the rhythm of his heartbeat making you feel at ease. A feeling you wouldn't trade for anything.

A few minutes later, everyone gets back in the studio with bags in their hands, the smell of food makes you realize you're hungry, so you stand up and kiss the tip of Minho's nose and smile before helping the guys with the bags.

Everyone takes a seat and begins to unpack the food, rushing to eat something to put you all in a better mood for the next few hours of work ahead of you. Occasionally you discuss what you have done so far, but you try to make the rest of the break pleasant and distracting so that everyone feels a little less tense.

"Oh, guys," Felix speaks up as you're about to finish. "Why don't we pair up and upload some tiktoks of what we're doing? It could be like a little spoiler for stays."

"Yeah, it'd be cool, but couldn't we get in trouble for this?" Jeongin asks, concerned.

Chan simply shrugs, "No, we won't. And if we do, I don't care. It's gonna be fun."

Everyone laughs and decides to go for it, so now Chan makes you all decide whether you should pick your partner or shall he assign them, so you all choose the last option. He knows you well and how you work together, and that ends up with you paired with Hyunjin, Chan is with Seungmin and Felix, Jeongin and Changbin are together and last but not least, Han and Minho.

Now, you didn't wanna seem upset about it, but a bad feeling just settles in you. You would probably not read the comments under their video, though. The tiny hope you'd get to do this with Minho vanished away, and you were not mad about it, just a little bit disappointed.

"Alright, let's just record a few seconds of the song, meanwhile just do a lip sync and do something nice at the ending, I guess? Like we usually do." Chan indicates briefly as he takes his phone and opens the camera, and so the first ones are Changbin and Jeongin. They end up making finger hearts with a lovely expression on their faces that makes you all chuckle.

Felix, Chan and Seungmin are up next, and they send kisses to the camera, making you cringe a little, and consequently they laugh about it too, but thinking it's funny. Then, Hyunjin and you make a small and improvised choreography as well, and end up with a cool model pose, with your arm laying on his shoulder and looking empowered.

And finally, Han and Minho simply make a heart with their arms and shortly wave goodbye before the video ends. Chan posts them right after and hopes it all goes well afterwards.

The rest of the recording goes smooth and quick. You're too deep in your thoughts about this situation, that is clearly out of your control, but you guess that was what bothered you more. The fact that you couldn't stand up and for once and for all put an end to all those rumors and theories just makes you feel even more mad and helpless.

"Okay, that's it for today, let's go home, alright? I'll prepare dinner for you guys." Minho says, causing everyone to cheer up after the tiring day you all just had. He places a kiss on your forehead and picks up your belongings as you head to the back of the building, where the minivan waits for you.

Of course Minho notices you're suddenly quiet rather than being clingy, but he assumes you're tired and lets you sleep a bit on your way back to the apartment.

As soon as everyone arrives home, Minho gets ready to start preparing dinner while the others take turns taking a shower, watching TV and others on their cell phones.

"Is there anything I can help you with, sweetheart?" you ask sweetly as you approach from behind his back, placing your hands on his waist. Minho lets out a nervous little laugh and looks you in the eye.

"Don't worry, prince. Let your boyfriend take care of preparing something delicious for you. You just sit back and wait looking pretty as always."

"I heard that!" Seungmin passes laughing and unnoticed through the kitchen, making Minho blush. While everyone is aware of how mellow you guys can be, it was still something they were amused by.

“Okay, let me know if there’s anything I can do.’’ You simply state and go to the living room, taking a seat and opening tiktok. And you promised yourself you wouldn’t read the comments, but you couldn’t help it. You oftenly chuckled at all the things stay came up with, and liked some of them, as you were using your private account. Then, when Han and Minho’s clip popped up you hesitated a bit, but did it anyway. Honestly, you didn’t know what you were expecting, to everyone comment chill and light-hearted things and not focused on their ship? Of course that wouldn’t happen.

All those “They’re definitely dating’’, and “Minsung is real’’ type of comments were getting on your nerves lately, digging deep into the uncomfortableness and bother you’ve been bottling up the past few years. You just reached the point where you can’t hide your disappointment and jealousy anymore.

After you take a shower and try to relax, you gather with your friends and boyfriend in the kitchen to have dinner. It’s the opposite of being quiet, of course. Everyone is laughing and joking around, as always. But you, on the other hand, are more serene; despite being the other way on the inside. Minho notices it and tries to understand why, but nothing comes to mind. He softly squeezes your knee under the table but you only look at him and give him a fake smile as you finish eating.

You are the first one to finish, so you stand up and wash your plate and utensils quickly, saying nothing more than a goodnight to everyone and go straight to your room, washing your teeth in a heartbeat and deciding to get in bed and sleep before Minho could enter and start asking questions regarding in your behavior tonight. But of course, as soon as you clean your face, Minho's steps in the room and sighs, heading to the bathroom.

"Hey," He says, taking his toothbrush and standing next to you. "Is everything alright? You were very quiet, is anything I c-"

"Don't worry," You interrupt him before he can say more. "I guess I'm too tired. I just want to sleep."

"Are you sure?" He insists.

"Yes," A kiss is placed on his cheek, making Minho blush. "Let's go get some rest, okay? I'll wait for you."

Still, Minho isn't at all convinced, but lets it slide for now.

The night is spent with you both intertwined, your face hidden on the crook of his neck, his heartbeat lullabies you into a heavy sleep and the comfortableness of his arms around you. Tomorrow will be a better day, you say to yourself before falling completely asleep.

Truth is, the next day is slightly better. Minho is really attentive to you, because he is aware something is up, and even though he knows you're not ready to tell him yet, he wanted to make you feel better and let you know you could count on him and open up whenever you wanted.

"Today we will just arrange the last track and tomorrow we will continue with dance practices." Chan says once you're all on your way to the studio, getting everyone's attention. "And I thought, after we finish, we can make a short vlive? It's been a while since we've done one together and it's a perfect occasion, in a few weeks we will be releasing this brand new album, right? So… are you in?"

No one hesitates to agree with the idea. Chan is right, it's been quite a while since you all gathered to make a live and have fun, so it sounds like it will be a pleasant and distracting activity after these past days of stress and overwork.

So all said and done, once you guys are done with the recording of the last track of the album, you get some food and make yourselves comfortable to start with the live. Chan is sitting in his chair, while on the couch in the back is Changbin, right on the armrest, right next to him, Jeongin and Seungmin are along the couch, and on the opposite side to Changbin, Felix has taken a seat.

Minho and Han are on the left side of Chan, and Hyunjin has kept you company on the opposite side, so that everyone can be seen by Stay in front of the camera.

"Okay, is everyone ready?" Chan asks once he has set everything up to start, and presses the start live button when he gets a positive response from everyone.

And it's really nice. Everyone is having a pretty fun time, reading the stay comments, they're placing bets and asking about the songs they will hear next. You guys are joking around, making little spoilers in order to make them suffer a bit for the wait ahead until the album is released, thanking them for the kind comments about the last tiktoks you uploaded among some other comments.

Suddenly the comments drift off to the actions everyone is doing while reading; Jeongin, for example, has started ponytailing Felix's hair and then asked for suggestions to further style his hair, Hyunjin has started feeding you the snacks you brought, while Minho and Han are pushing each other with their shoulders to get more camera, so suddenly some more comments about them catch your attention, which inevitably makes you raise your eyes towards them.

It's a simple, innocent game, but the comments paint it as flirting. And you don't like the way that makes you feel.

Your spirits are now down, and Hyunjin notices it immediately, so he comforts you, hugging you a little, letting you know that you can count on him if you need to let off steam, and also taking your cell phone so you can no longer read those comments.

He quickly sends a message to Chan to end the live broadcast promptly, which he does within a few minutes without question, just after everyone has said goodbye and sent good wishes for Stay.

"So, shall we go now?" Jeongin asks a bit concerned at the abrupt ending, to which Chan confirms and says it was gonna last a bit anyway, since he still needed to be at the studio longer and wanted everyone to get more rest.

"Okay, _____ and I are going to the bathroom real quick, meet you all downstairs?" Hyunjin quickly says and everyone agrees, walking off the room as soon as possible and heading to said place.

Once you're inside the big bathroom, you quickly check no one's in the stalls and let out a long sigh, Hyunjin following you.

"Are you okay?" He asks as you wash your face with the cold water.

"Yeah, yeah," You mumble, feeling terrible. "It's just... ugh, this is stupid. I don't understand why I feel this way, it doesn't make any sense, I mean..."

Hyunjin only manages to look at you, feeling empathetic.

"I'm sorry, I'm acting very childish, aren't I? The jealousy I have is quite irrational."

Your friend doesn't know what to say so he simply gives you a hug. Good, his hugs make you feel better. He makes you feel understood. Hyunjin lets you know that what you feel is okay. He won't judge you, he will simply walk you through this.

"Let's go home, Jinnie. Thank you." You simply say and ignore the tears threatening to stream down your face.

The ride home is quite quiet. Minho is beside you, his head on your shoulder as he plays a game on his phone, but your attention is on the road, your eyes lost in the scenery. And you didn't mean to be so heartless, but this whole situation has really overtaken you for the worse.

As much as you try to think about this and come up with a solution, the truth is that all you want now is to get to your dorm room and rest. Maybe cry a little as an outlet to clear your head and then talk it over with Minho.

So once in the apartment, you quickly head to the bedroom, ignoring Minho's calls, shouting your name so that you at least turn to look at him, but his attempts end up failing. Everyone seems to be puzzled by the situation, but they decide not to intervene; at least not for now.

Minho is really surprised by your behavior, and once you have locked yourself in the room, he turns to Hyunjin for help, since he knows that he was the last person you talked to before all this happened.

"Go to him, he seems to be avoiding you, but he needs you." He instructs him, so Minho walks quickly and knocks on the door a couple of times before entering.

It's heartbreaking for him to hear you sobbing under the covers. He's so confused and worried, so he approaches quickly but cautiously, taking a seat right next to you.

"Hey, prince, what's wrong?" He whispers, his sweet voice reaching your ear but not stopping your crying. "My love..."

Minho reaches his hand to the edge of the blanket and slowly lifts it, revealing your sad, soaked face. He just wants to come closer to kiss you and hold you so much, he wants you to stop feeling bad.

"What's wrong, do you need anything, can I do anything for you? Tell me, please."

You look at him and try to stop crying, slowly getting closer as he rounds you with his arms and kisses the top of your head.

Your crying starts to die down, "I'm sorry." You manage to say, with your voice still low, almost in a whisper.

Minho doesn’t understand why you are suddenly apologizing, but he listens to you and lets you continue.

"I've... This is nonsense, I'm sorry, I don't want you to feel like I'm forbidding you to... I mean, I don't want to-"

"____, hey, it's okay, honey. Take a breath, take your time. It’s okay." He says, now placing a kiss on the tip of your nose and raising his hand to erase the tears on your face.

"It's just that..." A sigh leaves your mouth, in an attempt to calm down your nerves. "Lately, I have read and seen... things that are quite hard for me to process and, I know I shouldn't care about it, cause it's meaningless, but somehow, it gets in my head and now I can't simply ignore it. I hate how this makes me feel."

"What's wrong?"

"Please don't hate me for this or laugh about it…"

"Of course I won't." He assures you, smiling up a bit to make you feel comfortable.

"Okay, I'll just say it. This shipping culture the fans have… I try to understand it, it's fun sometimes, but, it's getting on my nerves that all I can see lately it's about you and Jisung… and, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm jealous about this."

You close your eyes, so you can't see Minho's reaction to your words. You said it so quickly you ran out of breath a little bit, and the fact that Minho hasn't said anything in what feels like an eternity, makes you feel nervous. Did you mess up? Is he holding up a laugh? Does he feel attacked?

"Prince, look at me." He utters, holding your face, which is probably turning red, and caressing your cheek.

You slowly do as told, cracking one eye open and quickly with the other one after seeing his face is serious. He's not laughing, but there's a small smile that denotes comprehension.

"I love you." Minho says before pulling you for a kiss. His free hand sliding on your back and holding you tightly. When you run out of breath, he slowly separates, but his forehead is resting on yours and your noses touch up on a skimo kiss. "I love you so, so much."

"I love you too…" You whisper. "I'm sorry."

"No. Don't be." He quickly says, separating a bit so he can stare into your eyes. "You don't have to be sorry, okay? I understand where you're coming from. What you feel is completely understandable. I just… I wish you had told me before you felt this bad."

A smile is finally drawn in your lips, "I honestly didn't know it affected me that much until now. I mean, I just didn't care about it at the beginning, but now it's… everywhere. In a lot of comments on every single video, every live; on signs at the concerts, on fansigns… It got into my head."

"I'm sorry, prince." He says and kisses you again. "Uhm, I'm sure we can talk it out and maybe, if it makes you feel like this, Jisung and I can stop it by not interacting too much-"

"No!" You interrupt him, making him feel surprised. "No way, no. This isn't what I want to happen. It's not your fault, not Jisung's. I don't want you to stop being friends or having your friendship affected by this. I don't think this is in our hands to solve, I'll have to find a way to ignore it and move on."

"Love, I'd do anything to make you feel better. I don't want you to ever feel sad about this situation, we can look out for a solution with Jisung. I'm sure he'll understand." He says.

"I know, but I love and respect your friendship with him too. You've been friends since forever, even before I took part in the group, and I will never forgive myself if that is ruined somehow because of this."

Minho looks at you with adoration, "Are you sure? Because we can come up with a solution."

You smile, "I'm sure. I just needed to let it all out to feel better. It's gonna be okay, eventually."

"Okay, just let me know if you ever feel like this again, please."

"Sure. Thank you, love."

"No need to, my prince." He says and kisses you again. "Now let's wash up your pretty face and watch a movie? I'll let you pick."

"Deal."

Minho doesn’t separate from you the rest of the night. He showers you with kisses and whispers sweet words to your ears until you fall asleep between each other's arms. From now on, you know everything will be okay.

#kpop x male reader #skz x male reader #kpop x reader #stray kids x male reader #stray kids x reader #kpop imagines #stray kids x m!reader #lee know x male reader #lee know #skz fluff #skz scenarios #kpop fluff #skz fanfic

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writingquestionsanswered · 1 year

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Feeling Weird About Promoting Stories

Anonymous asked: How do I get over being ashamed to promote my story more? While I definitely write for myself, I like a bit of validation as well but I'm too shy and feel a bit...cheap? There's a person in my writing community who goes around begging people to read their stuff. They keep track up to where you've left comments, and then asks why haven't you commented on their other chapters. They also passive aggressively say nobody likes their stuff enough to leave comments and other things to guilt people into guilt reading their stuff. I've been encouraged by friends to market my stories more, but I just can't bring myself to do it because I feel like I'm in the same boat as this person.

(Ask was edited for length...)

First, I want to be clear that what this person (in your writing community) is doing isn't promoting themselves. It's nagging and badgering, and if they ever try that as a fiction writer, they'll have a very short career.

What they're doing is like hitting someone over the head repeatedly with a pillow. Promoting your story is like standing there holding a sign that shows information about your story. You're not asking anyone to read your story. You're not badgering them by appealing to their sympathy or sense of guilt. You're literally just saying, "Here's my story..." It's up to them whether or not they want to check it out.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with or shameful about promoting your work/product. If there was, we wouldn't have TV commercials, print ads, movie trailers, billboards, etc. The key is to do it in a way that doesn't annoy or badger your potential "customer." When promoting books and stories, that means doing it in a way that's quick, interesting to the reader, and not doing it so frequently that they get sick of hearing from you.

Many fan-fiction writers have a social media account associated with their writing which they can use to help drive traffic to their stories. So, for example, an Instagram, Tumblr or Facebook page. The link to this social media would also be shared at the bottom of each story to give fans a place to stay updated on your writing.

A promotional post would look like...

1 - A text post with a little teaser or hook:

Hi, everyone! I just updated Two Balls of Yarn over at AO3. Let's just say this is the chapter where everything goes sideways. You can check it out here: [link to story on AO3, username, or whatever]

2 - A graphic: for example, a book cover for your story, a mood board or aesthetic, a gif set, or story art, along with a caption that says something along the lines of what's up above in #1. Alternatively, it could say something like: Two Balls of Yarn, updated 9/3/23, available here...

If you're have a story in progress that you're posting every week or so, you would do such a promo post every time you update. However, once every few days or so, you might also choose to promo an older story. Depending on the social media platform, you may also want to do other types of posts occasionally, such as episode reviews (if for a TV show), reblogs of fan-art or gif sets related to the fandom, etc. You might even share links to other writers' stories that you really enjoyed.

Also, and this is SO important... 90% of success when promoting on social media is reciprocal engagement. In other words, if you want people to read, like, and comment on your stories, you need to read, like, and comment on other people's stories.

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

LEARN MORE about WQA

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nanowrimo · 1 year

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Unlocking the 8 Secrets of Web Novels

If you’re looking to try something new this Camp NaNoWriMo, why not a web novel? Participant Eitan Estheim talks about what a web novel is and how to get started on your episodic writing adventure! The act of writing has been with us for a long time, but that doesn't prevent us from learning different ways to approach it, especially when we take advantage of the new technologies that are emerging.

Web novels (and their variants) are original stories that are published on the internet in chapters, instead of offering the finished product from the beginning. They resemble self-publishing because the author takes care of the entire process (writing, editing, publishing, promotion), and fanfiction because they maintain close contact with the readers.

Generally, authors usually offer their content for free on the internet. However, some authors will publish in advance on Patreon to offer incentives and get monthly paid subscriptions as if it were the Netflix of books.

I've been doing this for a while now and, although I don't have the impact of other writers, that hasn't stopped me from learning a lot in the process. With this in mind, I'm going to tell you what I’ve learned, both on my own and thanks to others.

1. Choose where to publish your web novel. Nowadays, there are several platforms such as Wattpad, Royal Road, Tapas or Kindle Vella, among many others. Some are more suitable for romance and contemporary stories, while others highlight fantasy or litRPG. Keep this in mind before deciding where you want to start.

2. Be prepared. Unlike other ways of publishing a book, a web series requires regular updates. This means you need to create content frequently. As a result, many authors choose to have several weeks of chapters prepared. This ensures they can continue publishing while writing the next chapters, along with all the additional tasks that this entails.

3. Be realistic with your time. Referring to the previous point, we need to take a moment to consider everything we must do: write new content, make sure it's in good condition for publication (editing), promote on social media, etc. Many of us have jobs and responsibilities, so we must be aware of how much we can accomplish each day.

4. Every story is unique. What works for one author may not work the same for another. Some decide to publish short chapters from Monday to Friday, while others prefer to do it once or twice a week. Consider your situation and learn as you go to figure out what works best for you.

5. Take care of yourself. If you push yourself too hard, both in external obligations and in your own projects, you will reach a point where you will exhaust yourself (and that's if you're lucky). Just like in life itself, prioritize your physical and mental health, fulfill your responsibilities, and give yourself the opportunity to write under the best possible conditions.

6. Share your story. Maybe you're like me and prefer to dedicate your time to writing, planning, and editing because that's what you enjoy the most. It's understandable, but how will you get others to read your work? Get moving! Use social media, Facebook groups, and other methods because if you want others to value your work, you must make them aware of it.

7. Find your balance. Just like in any other writing project, there will be times when you write less and dedicate more time to editing or preparation. You may have periods where you write less, but that doesn't mean your productivity is lower; it just means there are other equally important tasks you must perform. Finding the right balance will allow you to progress in your short, medium, and long-term projects.

8. Take care of your readers. Remember what I mentioned about Patreon? It's not only a way for authors to receive some compensation for their work, but they also offer incentives to their followers. Most choose to offer chapters in advance, but they can also provide exclusive access to Discord/Guilded servers, EPUB/PDF files to continue reading on other devices, unlimited scenes, and a variety of other things. Just think about what you would like to have as a reader, and I'm sure you'll come up with many ideas. All of us here know how complex and exhausting writing can be, regardless of the project we're working on. However, it's equally rewarding to see our story taking shape and sharing it as if it were our own TV series. You just need to mold it in the way you desire and keep on writing!

Eitan Estheim, a passionate web serial writer hailing from Spain, is a humble virtuoso of storytelling. From an early age, armed with nothing more than a trusty notebook, Eitan embarked on a literary journey fueled by lots of chocolate. His insatiable thirst for knowledge knows no bounds, as he tirelessly hones his craft to captivate readers. Eitan's web books, spanning fantastical realms and heartfelt LGBT dramas, written in Spanish and English, mark the beginning of his promising writing career. Follow his journey on Patreon! You can also visit his website, Tumblr, Instagram, or Pinterest. Photo by MART PRODUCTION from Pexels

#nanowrimo #camp nanowrimo #self publishing #online publishing #web novels #by nano guest #eitan estheim

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anim-ttrpgs · 4 months

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Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy Rulebook June 6th 2024 Update and Changelog

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It’s the first Thursday of the first month of us doing a regular patreon rulebook update on the first Thursday of every month, and that means a major update!

It has been so nice to be able to finally work on the rulebook again instead of doing nothing but Kickstarter prep and promotion, and man have I been hard at work. Last week, if you count my A.N.I.M. job and my “normal” job, the shortest workday I had was 9 hours and several of them were 14 hours. At least I enjoy both jobs!

We have started getting more art into the rulebook, and getting those stretch goals taken care of. One stretch goal (the forgery rules) has already been added in full, with another stretch goal about 75% done, plus a complete overhaul of how Chase Scenes work and a whole new mechanic for determining how the police react to the actions of the PCs. Now, as the PCs are investigating crimes, if they’re not careful, the police could be investigating their crimes in the background too!

In addition to all the changes from the changelog below, we now have new and improved character sheets, and the Eureka adventure module “FORIVA: The Angel Game” is now fully finished, not counting the artwork, but that is going to get its own post.

Here is the full changelog! Remember, you can get a copy of this beta version of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy, along with three adventure modules, two short stories, and a novella, all for just $5 on our patreon page. And there’s no better time to do so, because of the Gorgon Initiative! Long story short, the playable gorgon monster type is a Kickstarter stretch goal we didn’t hit, but if we can reach 50 total patreon subscribers before the end of June, we’re going to be adding it to the book anyway! At the time of writing this, we’re at 41/50! You could make the difference, and get all this new Eureka content to boot!

CHAPTER 1

Added a Foreword, a section on other media to offer you inspiration when playing eureka, and a section on some of the subtler themes of eureka

Copy-edited Foreword

A few minor clarifications in the Making Rolls section

Added a chart explaining the percentage chances of failures, partial successes, and full successes for modifiers from -7 to +7.

CHAPTER 2

Added the Forgery skill to write-in skills

Many new snoops have been added.

Removed the “Seating” stat for vehicles, you know how many people can safely fit in a car

Removed the placeholder boat entries from the item list because we did not hit that kickstarter stretch goal

Added Skateboard to item list.

Added four-wheeler to item list.

Added Acceleration values to all vehicles in the vehicle list. Acceleration is a new stat used with the new way that Speed is calculated for Chases.

Adjusted the Driving bonus of motorcycles and dirtbikes.

Changed Large Mansion cost to 25 Wealth Points in character creation.

Started copy-editing this chapter.

CHAPTER 3

Added vehicle crashes to irregular forms of damage section

Tiny tweak to Drowning/Suffocation rules.

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

Completely revamped the way that Speed is calculated.

Added a mechanic to determine how many nodes ahead a fleeing character starts.

Added an optional rule for bringing an end to chases

Added vehicle attack rules for use during car chases

Added more guidelines for how to make your own obstacles

Added recommended numbers of nodes for chases and recommended distance between obstacles

Added the work-in-progress random obstacle tables

On-Foot Urban Chase Obstacles table is finished but not edited

Vehicle Urban Chase Obstacles table is finished but not edited

On-Foot Wilderness Chase Obstacles table is finished but not edited.

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

Increased capacity of an unfurled thing from beyond’s ‘stomach’ from three to fourteen.

Thing from beyond can now more easily attempt to engulf more victims after already containing one or more. This now prompts an escape attempt by victims inside rather than automatic escape.

Thing from beyond can now get a bonus to mimicry attempts by consuming a sample of the intended mimicry target’s DNA.

Gave acceleration value to witch’s brooms and other flying transportation

Gave Acceleration of +6 to Superhuman Speed trait

Gave vampire small bat manifestation +2 Acceleration

Gave vampire wolf manifestation +4 Acceleration

Gave vampire massive bat beast manifestation +4 Acceleration

Gave wolfman wolf form +4 Acceleration

Gave lycanthrope wolf form +4 Acceleration

Added ability to resist curses to fairy and witch

Added ability for fairy to transfer curses to different names as a means of protecting themselves from curses. This gives them more of an incentive to collect names.

Added a tiny bit about the fairy world

Added Monsters Eating Monsters section to provide rulings for some edge cases where monsters might eat other monsters and what would happen if they did

Stay tuned for a post about "FORIVA: The Angel Game", a terrifying Eureka adventure module, soon!

Beta Copies through the Patreon

The A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club

Other Stuff

We also have a ko-fi and merchandise if you just wanna give us more money for any reason.

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the-nanowrimo-chronicles · 8 months

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Discords, forums and a decade’s worth of allegations: how Nanowrimo started a revolution against it.

I’m just gonna copy paste the Reddit post since. I cannot figure Tumblr out. So I apologise for the weird formatting. If you’d rather read the Reddit posts:

Trigger warnings: child abuse, assault, predators, racism, fetishes, ableism, terrorism, bombings, and just plain abuse.

This will also include brief mentions of religion.

**Terms used in the Nanowrimo community:**

Nanowrimo: national novel writing month: a writing challenge to write 50k words in November. This is also used to refer to the organisation, a Californian 501c3 that the challenge originates from, with a website and a forum. However the challenge can be done without the organisation. Often called ‘nano’ for short.

Young Writers’ Program: a Nanowrimo run platform aimed at people under 18. A separate site with classrooms and its own separate forum. The forum is for people aged 13-18. Often called ‘YWP’ for short.

Municipal Liasions: community organisers responsible for one region. This could be a city or a country depending on size and population. They help organise local events and mod their regional forums. Municipal Liasions are not paid. There are several hundreds of them. Often called ‘MLs’ for short.

Christian Teens Together: a group on the main Nanowrimo forums, and the largest group on the forums. Despite the name the group is not entirely composed of Christians or teens, however that is where the group originates. The majority of the group are minors. Often called ‘CTT’ for short.

Random Thoughts and Exclamations: the main thread of the YWP forums, basically a general. Often called ‘RTAE’ for short.

Prior to the meltdown, Nanowrimo had around 15 salaried staff. These are collectively referred to as HQ. However, they also have several forum moderators. These receive a $100 check at the end of the year, but are mostly considered volunteers. These mods have no involvement in the main site. However, some staff that worked on the forums were salaried and had main site involvement and so will be considered part of HQ unless stated later on.

**Scam sponsorships.**

In December 2022, a group of Nanowrimo users raised concerns about a pair of vanity publishers that had sponsored the Nanowrimo challenge. (A vanity publisher or vanity press is a publisher where the author pays the costs and surrenders a large portion of the rights to their work.) Nanowrimo had promoted discounts for these publishers, Inkitt and Manuscripts, to winners of its challenge. Staff and mods suspended and muted multiple accounts who raised the initial concerns, but eventually allowed a forum thread discussing concerns to remain. One of the affected users explained the concerns as follows:

> Now that I’ve been unbanned, I will try to keep the last 24 hours of thoughts…concise. Inkitt should NEVER have been accepted as a NaNoWriMo sponsor. They have changed business models every few years, and every business model has involved using up the first pub rights of any author who submits, WHICH IS A BIG DEAL, and promising them sketchy ‘prizes’ or ‘contracts’ in return. People who have given them a try also say that getting their content removed is a nightmare and they had to threaten legal action. These are just the starting points.

> There are blog posts about them from many authors dating back to at least 2016, [including my own](https://wrrrdnrrrdgrrrl.com/2016/05/23/inkitt-scam-spam-no-thank-you-maam/), that are easily discoverable by searching “Inkitt scam.” None of this should ever have happened.

> That said, it happened. And the mods panicked, and I went and wrote a [whole new blog](https://wrrrdnrrrdgrrrl.com/2022/11/30/on-nanowrimo-inkitt-and-being-an-author/ ) (which I will update soon to reflect NaNo’s better handling of things today) to warn people away from Inkitt because I wasn’t allowed to do so on the forums. And because I have some audience and writer friends, that got around, and [Victoria Strauss](https://twitter.com/victoriastrauss/status/1598114401818902529) got involved, and eventually we got here.

The following day, the Executive Director responded to the concerns with this message:

> I appreciate everyone’s thoughts and feedback, and want to start with an apology that our vetting process hasn’t met the high values we place on our community care. It shouldn’t have come to this (like so many of you said), but now that it has, we’re taking it as a learning moment to improve our sponsorship processes and find ways to dig deeper into an evaluation of a company.

> We’ve also ended the sponsorship with Inkitt and Manuscripts.

> Currently, the vetting process involves talking to writers, editors, or those working in the writing/publishing “ecosystem,” and then interviewing the potential companies. We often have a long-term relationship with a company and work with them year-over-year, but as the writing/publishing landscape changes so dramatically every year, we often find out about new companies and reach out to them or they reach out to us. We will do a more thorough evaluation of these processes and policies as part of our 2023 planning process to see what changes we need to make. Our goal will be to ensure our policies are in line with our organizational values, and to make sure the process is more transparent. For example, we’re discussing how we can ensure that a wider range of community and trusted industry voices are heard in this process, and on that note, we have already asked Victoria Strauss from Writer Beware to act as a consultant. We’re really pleased that she’s generously agreed to this, as this is her area of expertise and her ethical standards are admirably high. Also, she’s been passionately committed to analyzing products and services for writers for so long.

> We’ll also be sure to consult the resources you’ve already named, such as the various forum threads where you all have been sharing your experiences with companies.

> Thank you again for raising your concerns. We take your feedback very seriously and center it in our plans to care for the community. I’m not just saying that—this has been a valuable learning moment to help us do a better job of vetting sponsors more thoroughly. Your voices are the most important thing we consider when making decisions—not sponsors, but you. I’m sorry that it hasn’t always felt like that in the past, and hope that we can make sure it does in the future. Like you, we think NaNoWriMo should be a place where writers can come for trusted resources. We’re disappointed in ourselves that we lost that trust, and we hope to regain it. I invite you to send on feedback at any time to [email protected].

While Inkitt and Manuscripts were removed as sponsors, it recently emerged that Inkitt was a major donor for Nanowrimo. Some users were beginning to feel that Nanowrimo was protecting their own interests over the interests of their users, which only got worse when new allegations came out the following year.

**Inaction against predators.**

In May 2023, a group of users raised allegations about a moderator of Christian Teens Together. The [allegations](https://nitter.net/Arumi_kai/status/1722007756058574916#m) were that this moderator was luring minors onto a fetish site they ran. The allegations were sent to the Executive Director and the Director of Programs, but no actions were taken after a month. An FBI report had already been filed, but the fetish site was being scrubbed, suggesting that the staff there had been tipped off after the allegations. The group built a new case and after public pressure, got the moderator removed for violations of the forum Code of Conduct after they started threatening the group and the Nanowrimo organisation offsite. This moderator could be a whole post on their own, and has used sockpuppet accounts to lurk on the forums and has commented on the situation on their tumblr. They are often referred to as Mod X, and will be referred to as such in this essay.

In June, a thread on moderation was opened, and a discussion began about the culture of CTT, where it became clear that Mod X had isolated the group and emotionally abused them. It was also revealed that the CTT had a ‘three strikes and shutdown’ system for a group with over a thousand members. One user explained the problem as follows:

> How the CTT members were given only three strikes for over one thousand people is, frankly, appalling and obscene. I can understand treating them as a group; if you give them all three strikes, that’s over three thousand strikes. But they need more than three. But even with that, hanging that last strike over their head for over six months is unacceptable, and yes, I said it before and I’ll say it again, it is emotionally abusive to tell them that one more strike and they’re getting shut down for over six months. Never knowing who’s going to make the mistake that gets them shut down or when, and worrying about when someone messes up. Worrying that they’re going to be one that messes up and is blamed by the group. Terrified of reporting things because what if that report is the reason their community is shut down?

More users came forward with grooming allegations, but these posts were frozen and hidden. However, the cat was out of bag, at least on the main forums. And in a retrospective thread on the 10th of November, a former YWP user spoke up about a similar situation that had happened the month before.

> They did this to the YWP too. When a message was sent outlining evidence of a predator it was ignored for 3 days (iirc) and initially responded with ‘we reviewed this account and found nothing that broke our rules’ only after it was posted publicly on the forums. They did take the account down, but only hours later (once we had made a major fuss with pretty much everyone who knew the situation calling the mods out) and with no further communication for two days, which sent us into a spiral of panic and teens leaving as they didn’t feel safe on the platform.

The following day, the COO responded to this post with:

> Hi there, I wanted to speak to this directly since it relates to a lot of the youth safety issues people are bringing up, and YWP has different systems. First off, we did indeed look into the participant that was flagged on YWP. [YWP lead] and [Director of Programs] discussed and investigated on Oct. 3; they responded on Oct. 4. Our search into their history and their other social media accounts did not find evidence that they were a predator or someone else than the person they claimed to be. We were wrong to say that nothing crossed the lines set by our codes of conduct, and we should have issued a reminder about those codes. However, no violation crossed the line that would require banning. We kept a close eye on this account following the reports and encouraged participants to follow their guts and keep a wide berth. After the account was suspended due to user flags, we agreed their account should not be reinstated.

> In the long term, we’re bringing in additional moderators in the YWP forums. Role plays occasionally skirt the codes around keeping it PG and partly in response to this situation we’re adding a volunteer mod next week who will just be monitoring role plays and the forum for personal conversations, where the majority of these flags came from.

This response was immediately torn apart by the adults on the thread, while more members of the YWP started speaking out about what they had been dealing with for years.

**The Wild West of the YWP.**

The YWP had two or three mods, which changed across the years due to differing roles. These were members of HQ, and now have all been fired or quit. These were: a Lead Forums Moderator who resigned in October 2023 and had stopped working with the YWP a while before that, a Community Manager who was put on leave at the beginning of November 2023, and the aforementioned YWP lead and Director of Programs who were either fired or quit in December 2023.

There are three parts to the YWP: the individual users, which are under 18, the classrooms, which are controlled by a teacher and are meant for educational settings, and the forums, which are open to users aged 13-18 whether they’re writing individually or as part of a classroom.

However, investigation revealed that the security of these classrooms are remarkably lax. It only required an email, username and password for an ‘educator’ to set up a classroom, and student accounts didn’t even need an email. Multiple YWP users confirmed that they had used this to gain access to private messages, as the classrooms have a PM feature while the forums did not. On top of this, it was confirmed by a moderator that classrooms are basically unmoderated:

> it's almost impossible to moderate these. There was a rash a few years back of the kids themselves making classrooms and the only way I could track them was to manually go through the admin panel and look for the most recent ones and click. They're almost entirely disconnected from the moderation tools and are completely unmoderated unless someone in one reports something. I actually gave up even trying to patrol the classrooms in any form because there's too many and the admin tools suck.

And on the forums themselves, it only got worse. The moderation often ignored its users, and when they intervened, the intervention often worsened the situation. This got to the point that in August 2022, a group of users held a [strike](https://speak-out.carrd.co/) against the moderation due to neglect and incompetence. However, the problems only continued to grow, and in December 2022, there was a incident of a user faking a disorder and, when called out on it, sending death threats. This user also made accounts in order to impersonate and harass users on the sites. It was not uncommon for users to run others off the site, which, justified or not, was often fueled by lack of mod intervention.

This came to a head in October 2023, when a predator was found and the moderation response was once again inadequate. On the 1st of October, moderation was privately contacted by a group of YWP users about a predator that had been on the forums for two years. After three days with no response and no action taken, the group took the information public and a mass flagging campaign began in order to gain the attention of the mods. And five hours after it began, a response was finally posted by the YWP lead:

> Ні,

Thanks for writing to us with your concerns, and for being so thorough keeping track of the places that made you uncomfortable.

> First of all, I want to say: good on you for following your gut. If you ever run into something online that makes you feel scared or worried or unsafe or just seems a little bit off, it's always okay to back away. Trust yourself, and don't do something that makes you feel uncomfortable, no matter who is asking you.

> The other moderators and I looked (and are continuing to look) more into this person, and from what we can tell, it seems like they are who they say they are. Nothing in their posts crosses the lines set by our Codes of Conduct (though they do come right up to the line sometimes). Like I said before, you can absolutely draw a boundary and not interact with them anymore. It just means we can't take any action on site besides marking their profile such that we pay extra attention to their posts, as well as the other account you flagged as a potential alt.

> If we notice anything in the future we can follow up on it more directly.

> Thank you for being so passionate and thorough about trying to make sure the YWP forums are a safe space, and let me know if you have any questions or want to talk anything through more.

This response was torn apart by the users, and 12 hours later people noticed that the threads the predator created had been taken down. However, there was no comment in the public moderation thread on the situation, and the users had no idea whether the account had been banned or not. This caused a mass panic, and several users pulled back or left the platform due to safety concerns.

Early on the 6th of October, a user tried to goad the moderators into responding to the mess by posting a message to the mods in the official announcements forum, which was supposed to be mod-only:

> There is always an explosion of newbies in November, and you have children as young as 13 here. And your inaction is making the site dangerous. We are being forced to defend ourselves against something we should not be dealing with because you can't be bothered.

> This is more than inaction. This is dangerous incompetence. And don't respond to this with another 'we'll do better' apology, because they never last. I've seen this cycle too many times. Tell us that he's gone, that we don't have to worry about him, and tell us what you're doing to make sure this doesn't happen again. And stop forcing children to be the adults in your place.

However, this post remained up for around 12 hours. At that point, the moderation decided to close the forums for a week, giving the users only a day’s notice. And when they reopened, they threatened to make the forums for writing topics only. Although they walked this back due to user pressure and claimed it was due lack of staff, it came off to some users as a punishment for complaining.

There were more incidents over the next month, and these were mentioned in the retrospective thread, which came as a complete shock to the adults, who had been told that a large part of the funding was going to the YWP. Some began to call for the moderators to resign:

> I sincerely hope they are all drafting their resignation letters. we won’t even give them grief this time for writing it together and recycling the same wording.

> they had their chance to listen to their users, to develop action plans and timeline and to publicly respond. they chose not to do that and knowingly let abuse and harm continue on their watches. both here and on ywp.

> resign or get fired. either way this is no longer their house, they are being evicted.

**The Nanopocalypse.**

The Nanowrimo Board intervened in the evening of the 12th of the November, having been contacted by users in the retrospective thread. They immediately set the main forums to read only barring threads they made to discuss the many issues. However the YWP forums were not immediately closed, and so the users from the retrospective reported back on RTAE.

Two hours after the main forums were closed, a YWP user received a message from the Director of Programs threatening to ban the user. Moments later this user and two others were temporarily banned from the forums. And the forums exploded on both sides. On the main forums:

> Do something for these YWP kids being banned for speaking up about their abuse.

And on the YWP:

> no cause if you're so threatened by MINORS joking at your expense take a good long look in the mirror

The same user on commented on the main thread:

> Just so yall know, the ywp is honestly going to hell rn. People are getting banned, some of the people who talked to you yesterday got banned for saying enough. I got warnings for saying that adults shouldn’t be threatened by teens making jokes. It’s a really bad situation and a lot of people are stressed and overwhelmed

One user commented on how bad the YWP had gotten as follows:

>FOR REAL !!! i joined when i was 16?? THE FIRST FUCKING THING I DID WAS MODERATE. i had to skip the classic nano ywp cringe newbie stage because i had to swoop into an argument that was obvious a moderator wasn’t going to ever deal with. and i did that for like the year and a half i was on nano. and like i don’t give a shit in the sense it doesn’t hold a candle to being 14 and moderating for three years straight but. the amount of power hierarchies the ywp has because of us who. play mod. it’s stressful and not fun and i would not wish it upon my worst enemies. this might be petty but? i’d pay real money that none of the staff team remembers me despite me doing their jobs since the moment i clicked create account

> i have not seen a single case of

someone getting fairly banned, nor of someone problematic and upsetting having consequences for their

actions.

>nano is a weird place because a lot of shit happened offsite (ex; my connection to [redacted]. the nanoer who was lying and trauma dumping to me and some of my close friends. that all happened in “adult nano” dms. but we were open about it. and even with multiple call-out posts in places with chats that don’t bury posts often and theoretically ones mods should be checking? nothing was done.) but the guessing game on when mods finally arrive to a scene is awful. the brace for impact everyone collectively did when

someone finally showed up? was awful. these are teenagers. and when these teens can’t trust the moderators who’re supposed to be monitoring their website, who are they supposed to trust?

A few hours into the board thread, YWP users called out one of the accounts on the main forum for being a predator. The group confirmed that this person had been removed from the YWP but that they had been allowed to remain on the main site. Users confronted this account directly:

> correct me if i’m wrong (i’m not) but i do remember you being one of (if not the most) manipulative, spiteful, maliciously incompetent people i have ever encountered. do you, perchance, remember all the times you told that little 15 year old the sexual things you wanted to do to her? i remember. i remember everything you said. i might not be able to prove all of it but we know. we didn’t forget. playing dumb won’t save you now, boy.

> don’t you dare sit here and pretend this was an okay thing for you to do. you got suspended but you’re still here talking aren’t you ?? it’s two years old we still have the very same predator (most people active in the lounge in the last year or two [in the ywp] knows you. no one who knows you likes you.) roaming the adult site. how is this not an issue that needs to be addressed?

The account was suspended a few days later.

That night, the board confirmed that they were unaware that the YWP was a separate site, and the YWP forums were shut. With no read only mode on the YWP, it erupted into chaos. Users said their goodbyes, and some expressed their anger with the moderation for how they turned out. This led to the Director of Programs threatening to close the forums early, despite the users only having a few hours to say goodbye anyway. One user put it as simply as:

> me when my entire community of the last three years is being ripped away lol

And the last three posts?

> FUCK THE MODS FR

> im gonna miss this website so much. love you all and its not our fault this is happening, it’s the mods stay safe stay amazing and love you all, youre the best.

> Im so sorry the mods destroyed this. hate that we have to lose this beautiful thing because of them. I have one last

thing to say:

>FUCK. THE. MODS.

> Imao

And with that, the weekend from hell was over.

But the Nanopocalypse had barely begun.

**It wasn't just kids that were abused.**

The board threads went down a few rabbit holes, but it was a testimony on the 28th of November that started the next fire. This came from an ML, and spoke of a situation a decade before.

> In 2012 (might have been 2011) I had an adult participant explain the explicit omegaverse erotica that she was writing to a 14 year old. She then left her laptop open to go and get a drink, with the instruction “i’m not telling you to read it, but I’m not not telling you that, and if I just leave my laptop open and you happen to see it, there’s nothing wrong with that, is there?”

> The teenager approached me before NaNo the next year and told me about this. She said that it made her extremely uncomfortable and that the adult participant had spent a lot of time telling her how clever she (the teen) was, how she was more mature than other teens, and how other adults just didn’t understand. Which is all classic grooming. The teen asked if this person was going to be at events that year, because she didn’t want to see her again.

> I contacted HQ with this, and asked if they would back me up if I told this person that they were no longer welcome at our events.

> The response I got was that not only would they not back me up, I was not allowed to ban this person from our events because they had to be held in a public space and be open to anyone who wanted to come and write.

> the teenager never came to another in-person event.

> The adult in question came back, and that year groomed and sexually assaulted a 17-year-old who she met at our events. I didn’t learn about this until several months afterwards. I once again contacted HQ, and was told that I still couldn’t ask her to stay away from our region because the incident took place after our event and we weren’t allowed to ban people based on behaviour outside the scope of our events

>I then posed the question: If the abusive ex of one of our wrimos turned up at an event, with the apparent intent to write with us, could I ask them to leave?

> Once again the answer was no, unless there was evidence of a police report, or the ex became abusive during the event. It was heavily implied that the victim ought to leave if they were uncomfortable.

> I had no training in how to handle this kind of thing, and I received the opposite of support.

> Having heard stories from other MLs I am convinced that the only reason I was not removed from the position is that I chose not to fight them.

The ML spoke more about trainings regarding racism.

>It’s been videos (I think 2 were workshops, but they were only run in US timezones so the rest of us just had to watch the videos and read transcripts) which have so far been exclusively on a US-centric approach to race and racism. One of the first 2 was run by a white person with a… questionable background… And [Director of Community Engagement]’s response to that being raised as an issue boiled down to “we have some MLs who won’t listen if it’s a black person”. Honestly, if you can’t handle being taught about racial issues by a person of that race, maybe you shouldn’t be in a position of power?

> We have the ML Agreement (which, until very recently, forbade MLs from criticising NaNoWriMo in any way. So recently that [Director of Community Engagement] used that clause to remove at least one ML in the last year without knowing/remembering that they took that out).

The discussion quickly pivoted to the treatment of MLs, and to the ML discord server. This was considered unofficial, but needed to get in touch with the Director of Community Engagement, who oversaw the MLs. The user who broke the news about Mod X gave a summary of the problems there:

> A ML was banned from the ML discord for suspicion of "leaking information shared in the ML discord with non-MLs".

> I've seen the (frankly a bit baffling) accusation by MLs (both on and off the main discord) that I have ulterior motives in bringing light to the issues facing the NaNoWriMo organization, so I'll reiterate - again - that l'm only one of a very large group of users over multiple offsite platforms who have been documenting these issues.

> The only reason I'm fairly visible in this situation is because it was decided my twitter platform was the best chance to bring wider attention to the issues in a way HQ would listen to (since efforts here on the forums were being shut down, silenced or obfuscated). I want to note that it's extremely concerning that the default in the ML discord is to focus on "someone leaking information or sneaking into our server" rather than address the systemic problems that have led to so many MLs feeling like they need to seek outside help for their treatment by the ML community. Not to mention the harm of indulging that paranoia when energy would be better focused on strategies to address the crisis facing the NaNo community.

> The main ML discord has obtained a list of users on NaNoWriMo discord servers that allow open criticism of HQ, and is kicking any ML who appears on the member list of the dissenting servers.

However, it seems that only two MLs were kicked for being in a dissenting server.

The kicked ML explained:

> I was kicked out for supposedly sharing screenshots from the ML discord with other people. I only know this, because when I said "hey, I can't find the ml discord any more" another ML went 'holy shit, that was you?' and told me what was being said about me.

> They also told me that what I had supposedly done was not against the rules at the time. [server admin] changed the rules after she kicked me out for "breaking" them.

There was another ML testimony that deserves its own section and we’ll get to in a second, but a response to it brought a new and horrifying light on the actions of the Director of Community Engagement.

> I’ve mentioned I was co-ML 2018, 2019, and 2020. My region had no ML for 2021 because my previous co-ML and I protested how [Director of Community Engagement] treated me.

> So. I am autistic as fuck. I am also physically disabled, and legally blind. We were promised access to the new 2019 forums months before NaNo, since we were MLs.

> I got access two weeks before NaNo.

> Two weeks, for my blind, autistic ass to figure out these very non-intuitive forums before time to kick things off.

> Clearly, this was not really a possibility for me. Because, again, autistic and blind.

> So my co-ML and I decided that I would handle all the online-but-offsite things (Facebook and the discord server I’d set up the year before) while he handled in-person and on-site things. This worked out great for us; our region was well taken care of between the two of us.

> I put so much love and care into my region’s discord server when I created it in 2018 (I had unexpectedly moved a few hours from my region in October, so the three of us co-MLs for that year worked out together what I would do to still hold my end of things up). I was cheering people on on the daily, running daily virtual write-ins for anyone who wanted to pop in and write with me. Any time my co-ML had a physical write-in, I scheduled a virtual one for the same time for anyone who couldn’t go in person

for whatever reason, and a co-ML would connect on their device so that the in-person and the virtual participants could talk to each other before time to write. For the 16th, I scheduled a full 24 hours virtual write-in that people could pop in and out of as they wanted to try to double up their word counts (I ran it the full 24 hours myself and then went to bed afterwards). I was even able to run some of the virtual write-ins from the hospital. I had so many people thank me for it, because they lived too far to make it in person easily, or they worked nights, or they were disabled, or they were immunocompromised so couldn’t go in person.

> Since that worked so well, I also did it for 2019, except even more because I loved my region and I love my people. I love cheering people on. I love helping them figure out a sticky problem in their project. I love just celebrating that they wrote, whether they wrote a full 50k or not, they tried this impossible thing and they did their best and that’s what NaNo is about. I worked my ass off in 2019 to make up for the fact that I couldn’t deal with the new site. Because, once again, I am autistic and blind.

> But also, before I move on to 2020, let’s talk about some of the gaslighting bullshit that HQ fed us. And yes, it was gaslighting I do not use that term lightly.

There was no validator. We were promised there would be a validator. We tell our regions “don’t worry, we’ve been promised there’ll be a validator, it should be ready in a few days”. Then HQ says “oh, sorry, it’ll be a little longer, you’ll have it by the end of the month, though, we super promise”. So we tell our regions, “sorry, it’s not going to be a couple days but they promise we’ll have it by the end of the month”. HQ was still telling us to tell our regions that the validator would be there by the end of the month even after HQ had decided there would be no fucking validator, not even by the end of the month, just never. When we were like “the fuck??? why would you tell us this, then???” we were told that we had just misunderstood what they meant. Gaslighting. That is actual fucking gaslighting.

> So now let’s go to 2020. Two successful years running my Region’s discord - and we added a Whole [country] discord, too! Go us!!!

> I re-apply to co-ML again. Don’t hear anything, assume that I didn’t hear anything because I was approved. In May, Sarah posts in the ML Facebook that if we re-applied and didn’t get an email from her to email her and let her know. So I emailed her. She had forgotten to email me. She had set my application aside because was I sure I could be a good ML since I had barely posted to the site in 2019. The year that the entire site changed and my blind autistic ass could not navigate it. I explained the situation, that I hadn’t been able to navigate the site so my co-ML and I had divvied things up so that I could run all the online-but-offsite things, etc. I told her about the region Discord and all the virtual write-ins.

> [Director of Community Engagement] says that all my efforts the previous years don’t count because it’s not on the site. That off-site can’t be moderated so it’s really discouraged that regions have anything online but offsite. She emailed my co-ML to tell them that she’d find a co-ML that could support them better. My co-ML responded along the lines

of “if you take [ML] away from me, I fucking quit”. So [Director of Community Engagement] tells them that I’m on probation but not to let me know. Which. They did anyway because they’re also one of my best friends and platonic life partners.

> I’m fine now, it’s been three years, I can deal. But when I say that being told that everything I’d set up didn’t count, that broke me. I had worked so hard, literally from the fucking hospital, to be told that it didn’t count. That the thing that I had set up as an accommodation for disabled or immunocompromised didn’t count.

> We MLed for 2020, because we finish our commitments. When 2021 rolled around and no one volunteered to ML, I still took care of my region. I still ran the discord, I still ran the virtual events, I still answered their questions and cheered them on. Because I’m not going to leave my people out to dry even if the person in charge doesn’t care.

> So. That was 2019 and the early parts of 2020. And it’s why I will never ML again while [Director of Community Engagement] is in charge.

> When I volunteered as a moderator, it’s because I genuinely wanted to help the community that I care so

much about. But I volunteered under [Community Manager]. [Community Manager] wasn’t perfect, but [Community Manager] cared. Whatever her

failings, she fucking cared about us. I told [Community Manager] when I disagreed with her, but I did it to her face and I tried to be kind. (Not necessarily nice, but kind. Because kind will tell you when you’re fucking up. Nice will not.)

> Right before NaNo started, I was no longer helping [Community Manager], I was now having to answer to [Director of Community Engagement]. So maybe I was more reactive than I would have been had [Director of Community Engagement] not broken me three years ago. Because of that, I tried to temper my reactions more, to make sure that I was reacting to the actual thing and not to who was saying it.

I have had it confirmed since I quit that [Director of Community Engagement] saw me as a problem and was trying to make me quit. And, well, she succeeded. Because I did quit when [Director of Community Engagement] said that mods would now be silencing any criticism of HQ.

> I love this community, or I would have left in 2020. I love the people, and I love the spirit of NaNo. I love that the spirit of NaNo lives in all of us, that we all have this little flame inside all of us that’s part of the bigger fire. I love that we come together to cheer each other on, and help each other when we’re stuck.

> But fuck the way MLs like me were treated. If I was treated this way, I bet there are others.

As of writing this, the Director of Community Engagement is still in her position and still oversees MLs.

So the MLs had to tolerate ableism and racism to do their jobs. And it only got worse. Let’s go back to that other testimony, which revealed:

**That time HQ made a game with a terrorist in it.**

Yep.

> In 2017 the staff decided to roll out an in-office game they had apparently played amongst themselves to the wider public.

> This game was a treasure hunt type activity, where one had to stop a terrorist called Ivan the Icy from blowing up NaNo and the world.

> This hunt included a now removed video of a very convincingly dressed man monologue at the camera about how he was going to bomb NaNo. So convincing in fact it took very long into the video before signs of it being fake emerged.

> Several faked emails sent to you, in that same vein that eventually led to a hidden page on the site where you had to disarm a bomb. Failing to do so would make it explode. Granted, upon exploding it filled your screen with penguins, but until then it was far too realistic.

> This was not communicated to MLs prior to sending out. Nothing had been mentioned. If it had we could have told them why this was a bad idea. The game might work in office where everyone knows each other’s sensitivities and humour (although even then one can wonder why this topic), but on a global scale this is tone deaf at best.

> MLs were the ones who raised the alarm and contacted HQ as quickly as we noticed. We had to explain in detail the potential ramifications, after which action was taken. We then helped NaNo cover this up.

> Note that at this point we had already lost so much faith in HQ that we were actively brainstorming how we could potentially flag it to youtube and facebook to get the video taken down if HQ would not respond to us as they often didn’t.

> To explain just how tone deaf this game was. The very convincing video was posted (not used) on 9/11. This was the year after the bombing in Brussels during NaNo. Two years after the bombing and shootings in Paris that had the Parisian Wrimos stuck in a write-in near the bomb site and active shooters for hours. And the same year a bomb had been detonated in the Manchester arena.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, a user who was on the YWP at the time confirmed that there was a YWP element:

> I didn’t find out that this came up in conversation yesterday until today but I feel like I need to add that the YWP had a dedicated forum thread to Ivan the Icy and was encouraged to participate and solve the terrorism scavenger hunt

> Yeah the terrorism scavenger hunt was a whole thing. I couldn’t even solve it because it was so heavily locked behind Facebook so I didn’t find out the full implications until the “apology” was sent out, but we on the YWP had an entire forum thread created by the mods (I want to say [YWP lead]) dedicated to solving it

So. That was a thing. Moving on.

**The board drank HQ’s kool-aid.**

The board was originally relatively helpful when they first intervened, but things soon took a turn. They took a break over American Thanksgiving [20th-26th November], and the responses soured following the break. The first clue of this was their defensive attitude towards the Executive Director’s $128K salary, when users figured out that since Nanowrimo ran a ‘salary first, operating budget second’ model, the operating budget was around $88K.

However, it was a comment about what Nanowrimo meant to the board member replying that started the anti-board attitude:

> Until two weeks ago, I had never used the forums; they just aren’t my thing. I mention all of this to say that not everybody who is part of this community hinges their experience, sense of belonging, or sense of value for NaNoWriMo on the forums. Part of my love for/experience of NaNo was doing a weekend writing retreat every November. I have very fond memories of these the years I did them. NaNo takes different forms for different people.

And when questioned about how this came across from an economic perspective, the elaboration was as follows:

> I am going on a writing retreat this weekend with my regular crew. It involves renting an AirBnB and each of us paying $200-$300 plus preparing one meal during the course of the weekend.

The fact that the first thing given as what nano meant to the board was a $200 writing retreat came off as inconsiderate in part due to reasons I’ll discuss later.

The next red flag was a reply in response to the idea having staff credentials in their account bios:

> Frankly, this isn’t a huge priority given that we’re asking staff to focus on other issues and since it’s pretty easy to look people up on LinkedIn. In a previous thread, someone posted the LinkedIn profiles of staffers.

> Again, we don’t view ourselves as concealing this information. Our staff bios are pretty standard and this information is available online.

However, users quickly pointed out that since the board member used their pen name, they couldn’t find their LinkedIn.

A few comments in a question and answer thread were also received poorly:

> The Board recognizes that people want answers now. After all, THEY ARE SHOUTING AT US IN ALL CAPS.

> We get that people ARE UPSET but we can’t do much about unrealistic expectations.

However, it was one of their last responses that really cemented their downfall:

> That is not what [other user] said. Please answer the actual question that was asked.

> And get better at reading comprehension, christ.

> Thank you for proving why the forums are so hard to moderate and for giving the Board reason to consider that we might never be able to make them safe. Because how can anybody feel safe when confronted with vicious sarcasm after committing the utterly human fallibility of misreading?

The board stopped responding that weekend and closed the remaining threads on the 4th of December.

Well. Almost all of them. A few hours later users noticed that the ‘about the Nanowrimo board category’ thread wasn’t locked. Users scrambled to post a final goodbye to the forums in a similar manner to the YWP shutdown a few weeks before.

> It has been an honour being in the trenches with so many of you. I’m sorry that it’s coming down to this, but here is where we are.

> So many of us did not deserve the way we were treated. So many of us were failed by a staff that should have done better.

> And I will never NOT be angry that protecting [Mod X] was more important than protecting children.

And with the battlefield closed, everyone retreated to their discords to discuss.

**The donation begging.**

Despite making between $1-$2 million a year, Nanowrimo always seemed desperate for more money. The first sign of this was the aforementioned Inkitt donor situation, but the second was ‘double-up donation weekend’, where donors got twice as much goodies for donating. This was during the 4th and 5th of November, and while the actual number of emails sent is disputed, one user simply said:

> too fucking many

However it was probably between 8-11. Over two days. And people have alleged that they sent more in other days.

Graphics from a recent presentation also revealed that they were trying to solicit donations from people in poverty. The graphic said to donate less if

> * Love NaNoWriMo and want to support us alongside 8,000 annual community donors!

> * Have little to no savings

> * Work more than one job to meet your basic needs

> * Have dependents (children, elderly loved ones, household partners, neighbors, etc.)

Another graphic suggested that people making $12K a year should donate $300 a year.

However, it was revealed after the forums were shut that Nanowrimo had been soliciting donations from users of the YWP since 2016, and that it had been a regular thing since 2018. And only once did they add a disclaimer:

> P.S. Today is #Giving Tuesday, and this year NaNoWriMo has received a $20,000 matching donation. So if you know someone who might want to support our organization, encourage them to donate today and double their impact!

The emails did in fact link to the Nanowrimo store.

**And then the memes attacked.**

When the forums were shut on December 4th, the some regional forums ran by MLs were allowed to remain. However, around the 11th of December, a lifeboat group received intel that the regional forums were soon to close. The day following, there was a rush of posts in the regional forums from members of this group alerting regional members of this. There were also allegations that the Director of Community Engagement had her own reasons for shutting the forums down.

> The decision to close the regional forums over the holidays was indisputably an "oh fuck" maneuver. It was NOT to shield MLs from emergency situations that they wouldn't be able to handle in Sarah's absence. It was NOT out of concern for the MLs.

> And I have proof.

> On November 30th, [Director of Community Engagement] reached out to the MLs who had chosen to keep their forums open. She asked if we still wanted to keep them open. **And she presented us with the following additional options:**

> * 1) Set it to "only MLs can start threads"

> * **2) Set it to "only MLs can post" (i.e. use it only for announcements or record keeping)**

> * 3) Set some or all existing open threads to "slow mode" so they can't be posted in as frequently

> * 4) Close some or all of the existing open threads

> **Option 2 would have eliminated this concern entirely.** My region is set to Announcements-only right now. No one else can post there. So, unless the MLs themselves were the concern, there would have been no need to close the forums *entirely*.

> Except... some MLs *are* giving HQ the migraine of their lives. **They need to silence ALL dissident voices, including those of MLs.**

> Hopefully you can view the form [Director of Community Engagement] sent MLs on November 30th here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdTbrRNrhfFV6HoXVUMWghomicP7xzvqWdLxC-R6cJ7Q8pfFA/viewform

And one member put it as:

> At this point I'm so confused, but what I see is HQ continuing to fuck up.

On the eve of the 15th of December, as the regional forums were taken down, the group discovered a thread on a regional forum, dedicated to memes about the Nanowrimo challenge. They flooded it with anti-HQ memes, in a last middle finger to HQ. A large amount of the memes consisted of promotional pictures of staff with humorous captions, such as The Good Place quote ‘I took the form of a 45 year old white man for a reason. I can only fail up.’, with the Executive Director photoshopped on. However, there was one that was purely text, from a YWP member:

> she nano on my wrimo till i shut down the forums

As the memes winded down, users settled in for a night of watching the forums go down. It was a long night, with users posting haikus to pass the time.

> Just a reminder

> The forums will shut down soon

> Save the threads you want

>Save the threads. You want

> Community, but darkness

>Prevails. Just for now.

However, some forums were never closed and are still open to this day.

**The smouldering remains.**

The entire YWP staff has gone, as has the social media manager. The Executive Director has been ‘demoted’ to Financial Stewardship Director. The current Executive Director is the board member that works under a pen name.

Nanowrimo has yet to reopen the forums, and besides disabling the ability to self-identify as an educator on the YWP, have yet to implement any of the changes that they promised.

More information can be found at r/nanowrimo, which is an unofficial Nano group without staff involvement.

#nanowrimo controversy #antinanowrimo #nano #nanopocalypse #nanowrimo #so fuck nanowrimo #Fuck this got long #Hobby drama

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pastafossa · 1 year

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how long did it take for your fanfiction to start getting some recognition? did you "advertise" it or "promote" it in any way?

i know that people say this doesn't matter, but i feel like even if you love writing the feeling that you're just talking to yourself gets pretty exhausting at some point. so i'm not talking about having thousands of readers but rather like. what's your advice to have readers at least?

- someone who hasn't even started writing their ideas yet...

LONG POST INCOMING.

First I want you (and everyone else reading who may be struggling with this) to know I'm absolutely with you and generally think 'it doesn't matter' is a horseshit answer. It's this weird thing we do in fanfic that we generally don't apply to other artforms that I've seen. If you're a painter, a playwriter, a novel writer, and you say, 'I want at least a few people to love my paintings, I want some people to come see my play, I want my novel to be published and do at least ok' we all support them, we nod, we agree, we talk about how they can do that successfully. It's considered normal to want some amount of success. But hold up fanfic instead and it becomes, 'how dare you want that praise, you're being egotistical, you should be writing only for yourself'. I'm not saying you can't do that - there are some who do - but it's definitely this bizarre switchup to say there's this single artform in which we can't want attention on our work and that there's something wrong with us if we do. That can be an absolute creativity killer depending on what kind of writer you are (hi, extrovert writer here who only gets writy writy juice from social interaction - aka comments and discussion. So I totally get it being exhausting just doing this on your own).

So let me say this categorically: you're allowed to want things. You're allowed to want kudos, comments, and hits. You're allowed to want messages and asks. You're allowed to want some readers you can talk with about your story.

You. Are. Allowed.

Ok, now that that's out of the way.

Edit: more below the cut cause I didn't realize the length of this on mobile

TRT definitely didn't get popular overnight. The first four chapters were sporadic, and then I took a hiatus due to life things for a couple years. During that time, it kept slowly ticking up bit by bit on AO3, with occasional comments. Iirc it was hovering somewhere around 700 kudos by the time I came back in Jan 2021 - and that's a awesome! It's big! But it's also a number that was gained over a few years, to put it in perspective. It absolutely took off after I came back though, and over the past 2 years both TRT's popularity and the stats of my one-shots in the fandom have grown. Part of that's just the time frame (TRT's been up about 6 years), but it's also due to a couple things that I think built up TRT's popularity.

Building a tumblr presence was huge. Ironically I didn't really intend to do it for advertising; I just wanted a place readers could ask questions or we could all freak out about Matt or I could post some drabbles or updates on the fic. But considering the fact that AO3 and tumblr are the top fic sites online, I wound up promoting my fics unintentionally just by being a friendly, happy tumblr user and fandom goer. All I did was follow the courtesy rules I knew - post stuff regularly, reblog, comment, make friends with other writers, just be friendly in your neighborhood because you love the lady with the gif flower shop on the corner or the wise old pizza maker who serves hot fandom takes all day long. I built familiarity with my writing and name by posting short fics, and by taking part in challenges and prompt lists and short requests for drabbles if I saw them, though that's something that's hard to do if you don't have time (I've got less time now, but I started this blog in the early pandemic so I had aaaaall the time in the world to write and was using it to stay sane). I tagged religiously because I LOVE tags, but that helped, too. Tumblr's search system is half broken but the half that works means people CAN find your writing even if they aren't following. Doing all this over here got me a huge boost over on AO3.

I will say that if you can have a fandom tiktok presence, there's a lot of fic reviewers, edits, and good stuff that can get your fic some readers (I've had some people do this on tiktok for TRT and it sent a surge over). I personally haven't done anything there yet, in part because while I'm on tiktok I try to keep my actual, real person accounts separate from my fic/fandom accounts and i haven't bothered to make a second account solely dedicated to the Pasta name yet.

Longfics on AO3 have the advantage in fic stats in the sense that every time you add a chapter, it gets bumped to the top of the front page and you get seen again. Eventually a lot of people will click out of curiosity. They may not, however, give you a lot of user subs or add to your other fic stats at first, whereas if you do a bunch of oneshots you're more likely to get user subs but less hits on each fic. This is a decision you'll have to make, and I know folks in both camps who built their followings using different methods on each. Either way, it helps if you're posting regularly, either in a long fic or one-shots. I call this the Stephen King method, who said he just writes a ton and throws it all at the wall, and eventually you get enough good despite the bad that you start building a following.

Learn learn learn. This is standard fic advice I always give, but it's still relevant. I think one of the reasons imo TRT has done so well is that I've spent a lot of time over the years learning how to write and edit - I read a ton of books (sometimes just to figure out HOW good authors structure their stories), I took a lot of English classes, I've taken some creative writing courses in my spare time. That two year hiatus was heavily spent doing a lot of research and practice around an original novel I want published one day. And I used ALL of that in TRT, just to see what it was like to put it all together. Be hungry for knowledge, be hungry to learn. The more you learn, the better your fic will be, and the more people that will click.

That learning also includes a looooong string of fanfics that started at a very novice level (hello 12 year old me), to fics that were ok and did moderately well but weren't anything huge. Hell, I had a tumblr account for my previous fandoms before I wandered over to Pastafossa, and while those fics did decently, I never had the huge reaction I've gotten here. But I used each and every one of those fics to learn and grow and adapt. Treat your own fics the same way. If it doesn't get hits, try to learn from it before moving on to the next idea a little wiser and a slightly better writer than before. There will always be people who start to follow you along the way.

A small one, but important: I swear to god, do not shit-talk yourself. Not in the summary, not in the tags, not in the A/Ns. I'm not talking, 'this is my first fic!' That's fine. I mean trashing your own work. Shit like, 'ha ha this sucks, it's terrible but oh well' will absolutely lower your stats, because people will believe you and will ditch your fic. On top of that, it's just mean to yourself, and as I said above, you want to be a good person in the fandom neighborhood. That means not breaking the windows of your own house.

People generally think of summaries as a side note, but a shitty summary can absolutely tank your stats. Treat it like the rest of your fic - this is the trailer before the movie, and it's a huge element of what gets people interested in the first place.

Lastly, like I said at the top, the biggest factor is time. There are people who post one fic and explode in popularity, absolutely. But far, far more little followings are built on the bones of time, of abandoned fics, of muttering and highlighting phrases in books in the middle of the night, of trying and trying and trying until we have at last have a breakthrough and then drag that breakthrough forward with us to the next fic. TRT is absolutely one part lightning in a bottle - the biggest success I've ever had anywhere with my writing, a confluence of fandom factors and world events that gave people (and me!) time to write and read. But it's also standing on the back of whole lot of fics I wrote that look like everyone else's: ones with no comments, low interaction, insults; ones where I had precisely zero idea of what I was doing, but wanted to try anyway. And the way I got through that, as a writer who needs interaction in order to create, was by building friendships in fandom so that even when a fic didn't do all that well, I still had friends I could talk to about the characters, the world, the fandom itself. I asked friends to look them over and give advice. I had friends being my cheerleaders. And if you're an extrovert like me, or just a writer who needs that to create, then those connections are vital as you build up a following.

That's a lot of what I've done. I know there are other ways to build a following, but this is generally what I've done, what I've learned to do, and it seems to have worked. Just remember that there are no bad fics - just learning opportunities. Learn something, and that fic's a success, and work as hard as you can to make those fandom connections to carry you through the process.

I absolutely hope to see your work around one day, so that I can be on of those followers!

#writing advice #fic advice #fic tips #building a following #fanfic #fic #writing tips #tbh i was shocked and still kind of am by how popular trt's become #because i have had ZERO previous experiences in my fic writing time that aligned #BUT #there are absolutely things I did in hindsight I think that helped a ton #and all of the practice and writing fic including the ones with zero interaction helped #i learned how to be a good fandom goer even when i didn't write #because i genuinely loved my little neighborhoods #and i used a lot of that when i started writing again cause why wouldn't i???#also avoid petty fandom drama you don't need to waste your energy on it #i WANT my blog to generally be a positive space cause i've got shit going on elsewhere and i don't need more #but that also means i think that people like wandering through cause they know there's a lot of happy things here #be the person in the neighborhood watering your daisies and putting out a rainbow pinwheel even when ted down the block #is feuding with susan up the block over the height of ted's fence

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sykloni2 · 6 months

Text

TMA fic recs

I have been reading a lot of the Magnus Archives fanfiction lately and there is this very specific type of fic I have been enjoying a lot: email conversations, official forms, HR complaints etc. I find looking at the Magnus Institute through that kind of perspective really interesting and fun, because despite everything it is a workplace. There are a lot of people who are trying to do their jobs with varying success.

These types of fics are probably not for everyone. I can see why someone might find emails and documents dry to read or just not vibe with the formatting, but I'm sure there are also people who love these kinds of fics as much as I do.

Beholding the GDPR: How the Magnus Institute Updated Its Privacy Policy for the Twenty-First Century And Only Caused One Nervous Breakdown In The Process

by shinyopal 1/1 (~9k)

This fic is told through emails and the Institute's new messaging app. Christopher Davies has been hired as Institute's Data Protection officer and he gets right to work.

The fic gives really nice look into how the Institute functions as a workplace (or doesn't). Can't recommend more. I feel for Chris so much.

RE: Jon Sims Complaints (edited)

by starcore 1/1 (~10k)

Jennifer Barnes from HR contacts Jon through email about the 500 complaints concerning him. Also Wikipedia Leitner :)

matter of accountability

by wadtefulreverie 1/1 (~12.5k)

HR shows up in Jon's office to go through the record amount of complaints about him.

Very fun outsider POV fic.

End Racism in the OTW | Xenotic Events: Guidelines for Public Health Management

by imperfectcircle 1/1 (~5.5k)

This fic is written as an official document (or I quess since it's still being edited -a draft of one). Jon is the main representative from the Magnus Institute giving his input in the comments, but he is hard to get a hold of for clarification so we also hear from some other archival staff.

Overall very unique fic. Jon says some concerning stuff on an official document (some of it actually very warranted). Also wasps. I won't elaborate on that.

Informed Consent and Other Cosmic Ironies

by KiaraSayre 1/1 (~0.5k)

Tim who doesn't give a fuck anymore fills out some paperwork.

Short and a lot of fun.

The Supervision and Oversight (Irregularities) (EU Exit) Regulations 2017: a post-exit regulatory regime for the Magnus Institute

by raven (singlecrow) 1/1 (~2.5k)

This fic is about Magnus Institute's regulatory position after Brexit. Once again written like an official document where discussions happen in its comments.

Here is one of my favorite quotes to convince you to read this:

"we take the view that the regulation of institutions such as ours should remain with the European Agency for Oversight of Irregularities, who may not know that much about what they are doing but have at least had since 1972 to not know that much about it."

Ask an Exec: How to Navigate Cultish Colleagues, Soul-Stealing Bosses, and the End of the World at Work

by shinyopals 6/6 (~43.5k)

Jon seeks advice from a management advice blog after his sudden promotion to the head archivist. He keeps writing to the blog even when things escalate.

I loved this fic. It was fun to see outsider perspective on Jon's problems and people (Jon included) putting together that he is 100% working in a cult.

#the magnus archives #tma #tma fic rec

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starsstuddedsky · 1 year

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hi hi hi! im a new follower but already so invested in "as a matter of fact". i think the storyline is amazing and i can't wait for more updates >< and my wish to your star is a fic of a love triangle b/w seungkwan, wonu and our girl y/n :) if you decide to accept this (totally cool if you don't) - i think a uni au would be nice with tons of fluff and angst. and you can decide who to end up with! thank you for reading this, your works are amazing and take care <33

Date #4

seungkwan x reader, wonwoo x reader

summary: Seungkwan and the crushing realization of having feelings for a friend

genre: angst, fluff, uni au

warnings: food mention, alcohol mention, swearing(?)

wc: 2.4k

a/n: hello!!! tysm for this request!! first of all, i'm sorry it took me so long to get to this, i was in a bit of a writing rut and also real life is so difficult.. that said i had a lot of fun writing this and i hope it isn't took different from what you imagined!! i'm not the biggest fan of love triangles (read: i despite them) so idk how this turned out.. pls pls enjoy </3

req masterlist | guidelines

Seungkwan has his apron on, tied behind his back in a bow (a skill he learned during the two months he survived working at Foot Locker). He chose all black, turtleneck tucked into his loose jeans, even digging out the sneakers he got (discount price) when he thought he was actually going to run every day. He shudders at the memory of wearing the Foot Locker uniform, thankful yet again to find a job at Soren’s. Close to campus, minimal dress code and iced Americanos whenever he wants them. Plus it rarely gets busy, so most of the time Seungkwan gets paid to read behind the counter.

He drums his fingers on the counter, scanning the limited view of the sidewalk that the window provides. If only he could take down the giant poster, promoting some campus band, especially since the concert was two months ago.

He smiles at the memory. Two months ago, the first of these little schemes. You wore your favorite jeans and the purple sweater, with the swirly patterns that Jihoon makes fun of for looking like obscene shapes. Seungkwan had to promise you that Jihoon was just being immature, and there were middle fingers and dicks absolutely nowhere on you.

That was back when you still had faith in your dates.

He can see two pairs of shoes underneath the poster, the Sketchers he got you (also discount price) and unfamiliar Nikes that are gray and worn down. Seungkwan is tempted to pour the cup of water already.

Because of the cursed poster, he can’t see you until you’re opening the door, the little bell jingling softly. It’s still a fond noise to Seungkwan, a notice that customers have arrived and he’ll have to actually earn his paycheck. Jeonghan, the other barista, hates the noise, obvious by the way he drags his feet approaching the register. He shoots a glare at Seungkwan as he walks past, though he agreed to this at the start of the shift.

“Welcome to Soren’s, how can I help you?” Jeonghan asks in a cheery voice. He stands straight and even though his back is to Seungkwan, he knows that the older boy is flashing a blindingly bright smile and perfectly covering his disdain for the job.

From his stool on the corner, Seungkwan gets the perfect vantage point to judge your date. He’s tall, broad shoulders, wearing a loose navy blue sweater and brown corduroy pants. A point in his favor, definitely better than Failed Date #2 (Seungkwan still wants to know who let him go on a date in flip flops and board shorts). He has thick glasses, round frames that sit perfectly on the bridge of his nose, which is straight and looks like it’s never been broken (a step up from Failed Date #1, who managed to break his nose during the date).

This date was set up by Jun (much more reputable than Mingyu by Seungkwan’s judgment). According to Jun, he met the dude in his freshman English class, and cited him as the sole reason Jun passed the class. “Certified genius” were the exact words he used to describe Jeon Wonwoo.

You order first, though Seungkwan doesn’t need to listen to know what to make. He gets off the stool, hands moving without looking; he’s made your order so many times since he started working here, he could do it in his sleep.

“I’ll take a caramel latte, iced,” Wonwoo says. His voice is smooth and deep, even Seungkwan feels his heart skip a beat. So far so good. He remembers a night where you were rather drunk and very rambly, and mentioned how you found deep voices attractive.

Seungkwan doesn’t miss how Wonwoo pays without a word, passing his card to Jeonghan before you can say anything. Another point to the Date #4. Seungkwan has to actually pay attention to his job now, ignoring the faces Jeonghan is making at him. He pours the drinks carefully, making sure nothing sticky is left on the outside of your cup since apparently he got syrup on it last time.

Seungkwan is proud of how quickly he finishes the drinks. He has gotten rather good at being a barista, though it feels arrogant to say. He sets them on the counter, calling out the order. You and Wonwoo stand at the same time, and your table is close enough for Seungkwan to hear the awkward laugh.

“Why don’t we go together?” You say, gesturing for him to lead the way. Wonwoo nods, and even though his back is to you, he still smiles. Seungkwan feels a prickle in his stomach watching you two walk up together. You look good together, he realizes.

You don’t look at him when you pick up your drink, muttering thank you under your breath. Seungkwan has to force himself to smile and nod at Wonwoo, who meets his eyes and thanks him, holding up his glass in a small toast.

He watches you return to your table and decides it has to be a good sign that you are avoiding him. It must mean the date is going well, since you aren’t making faces at him or giving him the signal.

You sit facing Wonwoo, though you’re also facing Seungkwan. He shifts the stool so that he can watch you out of the corner of his eye without outright staring. He’d hate to miss the signal like last time.

The minutes drag by. Seungkwan can’t hear much from behind the bar, but can he see your face light up in that lovely smile that makes your cheekbones pop, see the way you lean into the table when Wonwoo is talking. And even when both your drinks are empty and the ice is melting, you don’t make any move to get up or give him the signal.

Seungkwan sips on the cup of water before realizing he’s meant to spill it on you. He sets it down, realizing this means he has to resort to plan B. Even if you don’t look like you’re going to give the signal, he should stay ready. It’s his duty, as your friend.

Friend. He frowns at the word. That is, by definition, his relationship to you, someone with whom there is mutual affection. He is affectionate to you, but watching someone else make you smile, for the first time he wonders if affection is all he feels.

He ducks his head, wiping the counter down. These thoughts are dangerous, capacity-to-destroy-a-relationship level of dangerous. You’ve always been a precious friend to him, and he won’t throw it away because he maybe thinks he feels something.

It’s true he’s thought of it before; the first time was in the library, when someone wanted to borrow a chair and mistakenly thought you were dating. It was a careless mistake but for a moment Seungkwan entertained the thought. It passed quickly, his essay on data ethics taking priority, but every once in a while he’ll be by your side and wonder what it would be like to be more than friends. Passing thoughts that vanish before they can destroy him.

Seungkwan scrubs at the sink, waiting for this thought to pass, but it’s taken root in his stomach, twisting and turning. He has had one iced americano too many, and everything is a clouded mess.

“What are you doing?” Jeonghan hisses from next to him. “That’s the wrong rag!” He snatches the rag from Seungkwan’s hand, tossing it in the back. Jeonghan shakes his head. “I trained you better than this. Sponges and orange rags only for cleaning the sinks!”

“Sorry,” Seungkwan mutters, glancing back at you.

“It’s going well this time,” Jeonghan says. Seungkwan turns to see that Jeonghan isn’t even trying to hide his snooping. He’d shove the older boy if he didn’t think it would get him fired.

“Can’t you be subtle?” He whispers.

“No fun,” Jeonghan says, craning his neck to try and get a better look at Wonwoo.

“I never should have told you anything.”

“Nonsense, I’m an integral part of this team,” Jeonghan says. “Plus you’re conducting this on company property, I have to make sure you don’t get us sued or anything.”

“Since when have you cared about getting sued,” Seungkwan says, remembering last week when Jeonghan got into an argument with a customer.

“I care about getting sued when my protégé can’t focus on his job because he’s too busy being overly invested in the love life of his friend.”

“How noble.” Seungkwan dares to peek at you again. Is he imagining things?

No, you’re definitely tucking your hair behind your ear with both hands, though you aren’t looking at him. Still, the signal is the signal. Seungkwan ignores Jeonghan, grabbing the mop bucket from the back. It’s time to prove his worth.

The mop bucket clatters on the tiled floor, drowning out your conversation. Seungkwan decides it’s fate; he doesn’t need to know why you called for evacuation, he just needs to help get you out.

So he trips. He doesn’t know how convincing he is, especially when he puts most of his effort into tipping the bucket of water over via mop handle. Unfortunately, as he falls, Seungkwan realizes two things. First, he miscalculates how much strength it would take to tip the bucket, and instead of knocking it over, he sends it flying into the air. Second, he thought the water was still clean but Jeonghan must have mopped before his shift started because the water flying into the air is very soapy and very dirty.

Seungkwan falls flat on his back, mop handle clattering next to him. He squeezes his eyes and mouth shut as the water sprays all over.

“Oh. My. God.” He hears your voice and opens his eyes slowly. You sit in the chair, hand over your mouth and Seungkwan realizes he didn’t just spray himself.

“Are you okay?” Wonwoo asks. He stands, the chair kicking up mop water. “Oh, I’m so sorry.” He holds out a hand to Seungkwan, covered in mop water. Seungkwan tries to think of an excuse to say no but comes up with nothing, so he takes the other man’s hand and cringes when he notices the water on his glasses.

Seungkwan has failed before, but never this exponentially terribly.

“I’m fine.” Seungkwan says, unable to take his eyes off you. Why haven’t you gotten up yet?

“You’re sort of…” Wonwoo points to his chest. Seungkwan groans. He’s covered in the mop water, seeping through the apron. It’s probably all over his face.

“Here,” Jeonghan says, passing paper towels to you and Wonwoo. “I apologize for the clumsiness of my coworker, he’s new.” Jeonghan glares at Seungkwan, sticking a paper towel to his forehead.

“I’m so sorry,” Seungkwan chokes out, reaching up to peel the paper towel off his face and use it to wipe off some of the water. Maybe Jeonghan will let him go home early, or, even better, follow through on one of his threats and toss Seungkwan in the dumpster behind the store.

“It’s alright,” Wonwoo says. “Accidents happen, no harm no foul.”

You say nothing, staring at Seungkwan. He feels so small when you look at him like that, frown creasing your brow, like you don’t understand why he would do something like this, like you don’t know him at all.

“Sorry,” he mutters again.

“It’s fine,” you finally say, though your smile isn’t very convincing. “We’re fine, right?”

Wonwoo nods. “Absolutely fine, though I think I’ll have to wash this as soon as possible.”

“Oh,” you say. “Right. Me too, I guess.”

Wonwoo laughs. “I had fun, though.” Seungkwan knows that he should follow Jeonghan behind the counter but his feet are planted to the ground, stuck standing between you and Wonwoo listening to your very first successful blind date. Except you gave him the signal. Right?

“I’d like to do this again,” Wonwoo continues, “though maybe with slightly less water involved.” He glances at Seungkwan, as if just realizing that he’s still standing there. Everything in him screams to run but he can’t get his legs to move.

“Oh,” you say. You don’t look away from Wonwoo. “I… I think I’d like that too.”

Seungkwan’s heart drops. He hates the feeling immediately, he knows that he should be happy that you’ve found someone and yet his stomach still twists.

“Okay, well, I guess I’ll see you,” Wonwoo says. He smiles at you one last time before walking toward the door. Seungkwan watches him leave, sees the exact moment he pauses (one foot out the door) to get one last look at you. And then he’s gone.

“What the hell, Seungkwan?” you cry as soon as the door shuts.

“You gave me the signal!” He says. He tucks invisible hair behind his ears with both hands. “Double tuck!”

You frown, probably trying to remember whether you actually did it or not. But Seungkwan knows it doesn’t matter. He should have seen how happy you were. With Wonwoo.

“I really am sorry,” he says, folding his arms.

“It’s alright,” you say before he finishes talking. “He didn’t take it badly. Actually, he took it quite well.” You smile. “I think I could really like him.”

Good, Seungkwan tries to say. Then, I’m happy for you. The words get stuck in his throat. And he knows why, the forbidden words lurking at the edge of his thoughts, the twisted sickness that has been growing for so long without his knowledge cannot be ignored anymore, not when it demands a name. Jealousy, the cruel monster.

Jealousy because without realizing it, he stopped thinking of you as just a friend. It’s not fair to call you anything more, but Seungkwan can’t keep pretending that this is enough, that he doesn’t want to imagine more. He’s spent too long denying it that the floodgates have opened and can’t pretend like he doesn’t want to be the one making you smile, the one you call in the middle of the night because you had a bad dream, the one you call in the middle of the day just because. He wants to look at you and not feel guilty.

But he knows you’ve never looked at him like that, not when you keep going on these dates. So what now? He can tell you the truth, risk losing you completely. Or he can stand back and watch you inevitably fall in love with Wonwoo, or some other man that sweeps you off your feet.

He stands before you, covered in mop water and sick to his stomach. And he makes a decision.

a/n2: i'm sorry if anyone doesn't like this ending i just really hate love triangles,, feel free to believe whatever you want about what happens next

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fics-by-em · 1 year

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Amorous Facades - Chapter Eleven

A wild night out leaves the lives of Jamie Tartt and Ophelia Adams more intertwined than they ever would have imagined.

Will their decision to try and use the situation to their advantage work out in their favour or will they realize that they should have cut their losses when they had the chance?

———-

previous chapter

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Note: I know this chapter is a little bit late, but unfortunately that might be happening a bit more for the next little while… I have a really busy couple of weeks ahead and then I'm going on vacation for two weeks where I'll have no access to my laptop to write or post anything. Then in September I'm starting a new job. I'm still hoping to update regularly, but the once a week schedule might not be possible. I hope you can all stick with me though because I do have lots more planned for this story!

———-

During their first few days as an official couple, Lia saw less of Jamie than she had every other week since they met. When he left early the morning after their date and didn’t come home until well after dinner, she couldn’t help but let her anxiety get the best of her as she worried that he’d changed his mind or decided that convincing her to agree to be his girlfriend was enough for him to claim victory and he no longer cared now that the chase was over. The hours she’d spent alone that evening after she got home from work gave her enough time to spiral into her own thoughts until she’d worked up the courage to confront him almost as soon as he walked through the door.

She’d immediately blurted out her concerns and while Jamie was shocked at first, a smile slid onto his face once he’d managed to process her words. That only annoyed Lia even further - as she assumed he was making a joke of the whole situation - but he’d quickly put her mind at ease. He apologized for the lack of contact through the day and he explained that their final match of the season was coming up that weekend. It was very important that they won if they wanted to be promoted which meant that the team would be spending the rest of the week training hard for long days. That information simultaneously had Lia feeling relieved and embarrassed as she mumbled out an apology for her reaction and suggested they work on their communication.

Despite the smug smile on his face, Jamie had agreed and spent the rest of the evening teasing her about being so clingy, but from then on he’d made more of an effort to check in throughout the day. She appreciated his willingness to listen to her concerns and by the end of the week she was feeling much more confident in her decision to give Jamie a chance. He really was working hard to prove his dedication to her and she was powerless to resist his charm.

However, when the day of Richmond’s final match of the season came around, Lia found herself feeling nervous again. Jamie had left mid-morning to get in a warm-up with the team before the match started as usual on game day which left Lia to show up at Nelson Road alone, wondering what kind of reception she would receive. She walked slowly through the hallways as if she could delay the inevitable rejection, but it still didn’t take her long to find herself standing outside the door to Rebecca’s office and she took a deep breath to steady herself before knocking on the door.

“Come in!”

It was Rebecca’s voice that called out to her and she accepted the invitation to poke her head around the door to see her sitting on the couch with Keeley as she’d expected.

“Hi,” Lia smiled, relaxing slightly when they didn’t immediately recoil at the sight of her. “I know it’s short notice, but I was hoping I could sit with you two at the match today.”

“Yeah, of course, babe,” Keeley nodded, her enthusiasm putting her even more at ease. “Do you want some champagne?”

She held up her glass as if to demonstrate and Lia accepted the offer as she moved to sit beside her. She was trying to think of a way to bring up the elephant in the room as Keeley poured her a drink, but Rebecca beat her to it.

“So,” she started. “How’re things with Jamie?”

Considering she hadn’t talked to Keeley at all since Jamie’s confession and wasn’t entirely sure how she was feeling, Lia answered somewhat trepidatiously.

“Things are actually really good,” she admitted. “We’ve decided to give it a shot and try being in an actual relationship, not just a pretend one.”

“Oh my god,” Keeley squealed as she handed Lia a glass of champagne. “That’s amazing! I was so worried that Jamie had messed it up all by saying what he said, but he really didn’t mean it. I know Jamie and I know he didn’t, he’s just more emotional than people think and the funeral got the best of him.”

“That’s what he said and it’s been kinda hard to blindly trust him, but we went on a date a few days ago and he really put in some effort. It was nice.”

“That’s so exciting,” Keeley gushed. “And I promise there’s nothing between us now. I was so worried you wouldn’t wanna be friends anymore after what he said so I’m really glad you showed up today!”

“Me too,” Lia smiled. “I didn’t want things to be awkward and I believe that things are over between you, but I just worry that Jamie’s just desperate for affection from anyone, not necessarily from me.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” Keeley rushed to assure her. “He’s different with you. He cares about you, I can see it.”

“It always seemed like more than just an act to me too,” Rebecca mused. “But tell us about this date? Where did you go?”

Lia felt her smile widen and she tried to control her enthusiasm as she launched into an explanation, grateful to finally get some womanly insight into the situation. She told them about the flowers, about the board game pub, the walk home and the little boy in the ice cream parlour. The way they ‘ooh’d and ‘awwe’d at all the right moments brought her some comfort as she still couldn’t help but feel like she’d maybe been won over a little too easily, but Keeley’s response when she was done telling her tale only strengthened her belief that giving Jamie a chance was the right choice.

“Wow, that is way more romantic than anything he ever did for me,” Keeley informed her. “He’s smitten, babe.”

“I didn’t think he had it in him,” Rebecca agreed. “But obviously he just needed to find the right person and it would seem that person is you.”

“You think so? I can’t shake the feeling that he’ll toss me aside once he’s had his fun.”

“Why on earth would you think that?”

The question came from Rebecca - her shock clear in her voice - but Lia simply shrugged.

“Because he’s Jamie Tartt and I’m just me, a dork who works in a bookstore. I don’t want him to get bored once the chase is over.”

“But you’re not boring,” Keeley assured her. “You’re fun and so sweet, Jamie is lucky to have you.”

“You think so?”

Lia cringed, knowing that low self-esteem wasn’t a particularly endearing thing, but she hoped that they would know it was a sincere question and not just a way for her to fish for compliments.

“Absolutely,” Rebecca nodded. “And from what I can see, you’re both good for each other. You definitely bring out the good in him.”

Lia felt practically giddy from their reassurance and hid her smile behind her glass of champagne as she mumbled out a ‘thank you’ before taking a sip and switching the conversation back onto Rebecca to get caught up on the gossip of her own slightly messy love life.

——

The match was a rollercoaster of emotions and Lia wondered if they always would be now that she found herself rather invested in one of the players. The first half had things looking pretty bleak and while Lia knew it wasn’t over until it was over, she was bracing herself to spend the rest of her evening trying to comfort Jamie and help him through the loss.

However, those worries vanished from her mind shortly after the second half of the match started.

It was like Richmond were a different team and they quickly picked up the slack from the first half. It was tense and exciting, but they pulled it together enough to force a tie which was all they needed to get promoted. The girls leapt to their feet the moment the match was officially over, squealing and hugging with an enthusiasm that Lia never imagined she would feel about a sporting event before she met Jamie. The team and coaches all flooded onto the pitch as they celebrated with the roaring cheers from the crowd reaching almost deafening levels and despite the newness and instability of their relationship, Lia felt a pull towards Jamie that truly surprised her.

It was like she physically needed to be near him. She could see him on the pitch being embraced by his teammates and she craved the opportunity to do the same. The pride she felt swelling in her chest took her breath away and when the boys all jumped and ran off the pitch and Keeley suggested they head down to the locker room, Lia practically bolted for the door of the box they were sitting in. She paused briefly enough to congratulate Rebecca on her team’s win, but then she darted out into the hallway with Keeley hot on her heels.

The sound of exuberant chants echoed down the halls as soon as they got down to the main floor and Lia let out a joyful giggle as Keeley swung open the door, calling out to the team as she did. Their presence seemed to heighten the already rampant celebrations as the team let out a cheer at their arrival, but Lia was more focused on her search through the crowd for Jamie.

When her eyes finally landed on him, she felt her heart swell.

He looked relieved. He looked joyous. He looked on top of the world. And combined with his dishevelled post-match appearance, the look of success was incredibly sexy on him.

She couldn’t resist winding her way through the group until she was by his side and finally able to wrap her arms around him, finding the feel of him just as intoxicating as the sight. His strong muscles, clinging to his shirt that was damp with sweat. The deep, manly scent of his body after such an intense workout. The way he squeezed her so tight she wondered if he was ever going to let her go. It all had such a strong wave of emotion washing over her that she couldn’t stop herself from stretching up to capture his lips in a kiss.

There was a shyness to it - a moment of hesitance before she found the courage to slide her hand to the back of his neck and encourage him to dip his head - but Lia knew it was unnecessary. As far as the rest of the team was concerned, their PDA was old news. They’d been showing affection in front of the group for weeks, but it felt different now that what they had was real. The moment felt more intimate now that it wasn’t simply for show and Lia felt her cheeks growing hot as she pulled away.

“Congratulations, Jamie, you were amazing.”

“Nah, wasn’t me really,” Jamie shrugged. “Dani’s goal really sealed the deal.”

“But you let him take the shot,” she pointed out. “It was a team effort and you’ve really become a team player.”

“Thanks, babe.”

A lazy smile slid onto Jamie’s face that was so endearing that Lia found herself once again drawn to stretch up and connect their lips, but she was relieved to find that Jamie seemed to be as desperate for connection with her as she was with him as when she tried to slip out of his grasp, he tightened his arm around her waist to stop her from moving too far away.

There was a tension between them that was undeniable. It simmered through the after party in the locker room and seemed to grow with every casual touch or lingering glance. Lia felt absolutely smitten with Jamie. Seeing him in his element, celebrating after a win, bonding with the team that he’d been working so hard to prove himself too. The atmosphere amongst the group was electric and Lia was grateful to be a part of it, even more so now that she wasn’t just pretending.

And as Jamie’s touches grew bolder, she felt it was safe to assume that he was feeling the same way about her. His hand drifting down to squeeze her bum when no one was looking, letting his thumb slip under her shirt to stroke at the skin of her lower back when his arm was settled around her waist, the way he kept leaning in close to whisper things in her ear even when such closeness wasn’t really necessary almost as if he was just looking for an excuse to let his breath wash over her skin. There was no way that Jamie couldn’t feel the spark crackling between them and crawling up his spine the way that she could.

And so - if Jamie was intent on driving her wild - she decided to return the favour.

Being seductive or flirtatiously teasing wasn’t her forte, but the beer that she was sipping on helped her find a little inspiration - both due to its contents and design. She was deep in conversation with Isaac - the team Captain - and Colin - one of his teammates - when the alcohol she’d been sipping and the burn of Jamie’s gaze on her helped the idea take shape in her mind. Nodding along to what Isaac was saying as he told her some in depth information about a play they’d been practicing, she glanced over at Jamie and made eye contact as she deliberately let the neck of the bottle rest between her lips for just a moment longer than necessary, sucking gently in a way that she hoped would be at least somewhat suggestive. She saw Jamie’s jaw clench as he watched her and she bit back a smile as she turned her attention back to the men she was talking to, but it didn’t take long for her to feel an arm slide around her waist and she didn’t even need to glance up to know that it was Jamie.

For the rest of the post-game celebration, Jamie didn’t let her out of his grasp and Lia was more than happy to stay cuddled up against his side. When the team started discussing where to move the party and which club to take the celebrations to, she was relieved when Jamie turned down the invitation and suggested that they just head home. She eagerly agreed, but was surprised that when they got into the taxi to go home, Jamie became more withdrawn. The affection that he’d been lavishing on her all night was gone as he sat on the far side of the car, focusing his gaze out the window. It was reminiscent of how they’d been when their relationship was just an act and it was a stark contrast to the way he’d been all evening.

She tried not to let her anxiety bubble to the surface and get the best of her - assuming instead that perhaps he was just tired as the adrenaline of the match started to fade away rather than that he wasn’t truly interested in her - but she was still buzzing from the way they’d been teasing each other all night. Desperate for some kind of physical touch, she reached out to take his hand and was relieved when he turned his head to flash her a smile before interlacing their fingers.

It was sometime during their drive home that Lia started formulating another idea - one that was only emboldened by the fact that Jamie announced that he was in dire need of a shower almost as soon as they walked through the door.

——

Jamie had barely been in the shower for five minutes when he heard a knock at the door before it slowly cracked open.

“Jamie? Can I come in?”

The question was tentative and only added to Jamie’s confusion. In all the time they’d lived together, neither of them had dared to enter the bathroom while the other one was showering. The glass door left nothing to the imagination and as soon as she entered the bathroom he would be fully exposed to her. It was a thought made his cock twitch despite his concern about her urgent need to talk to him.

“Course you can,” he called back. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she squeaked as she poked her head around the door. He noted with pride that her eyes widened at the sight of him, but the next words out of her mouth left him the one feeling stunned. “I was just wondering if I could join you?”

He stared in disbelief as she shrugged the bathrobe that she’d changed into off of her shoulders and stood before him completely naked.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he groaned. “How could I say no to that?”

After the weeks of self-restraint, he felt himself begin to stiffen just from letting his eyes roam over her body, admiring her pert breasts and soft curves that he’d been fantasizing about for so long as her cheeks flushed a deep red and she open the door that separated them. When she moved under the water to let her hands trace over his damp chest, he grew thick and heavy as his cock strained for some of her attention. He was almost scared to move or even breathe in case it snapped her out of whatever trance she’d fallen into, but as she bit her lip and mumbled out a soft yet appreciative ‘wow, Jamie’, he couldn’t help but question her.

“What’s all this about?” He asked softly, hoping he didn’t sound in any way ungrateful. “I thought you wanted to take things slow.”

“I do,” she admitted. “But I thought you deserved a little appreciation after your performance today. You were so good, Jamie. It was so amazing to watch you.”

Her words came out like a purr and the thick honey tone was all his cock needed to swell to its full potential, but he tried to stay focused as he made sure she was serious about the situation.

“S’just the job,” he choked out. “It’s nothing special.”

“It was special,” she insisted. “You were incredible. I was so proud to be wearing your jersey, for everyone in the crowd to be thinking that I’m your wife.”

The praise sent shivers down his spine as he flushed at her words, but the request that came next almost short-circuited his brain.

“Can I touch you?”

“Yes! Fuck, Lia, please.”

He answered immediately, feeling his desperation climbing quicker than he was used to. But then again, he wasn’t used to being celibate for as long as he had been and a release with someone other than his hand was very much needed. He knew that he was very close to sounding like he was begging - something he wasn’t particularly used to doing in bed - but in that moment he would have promised her anything to get her hands to slide down his stomach the way that they were. When she took him in her hand, he couldn’t hold back the moan that slid from his lips and he kept his eyes from fluttering shut just long enough to see her peering up at her from under her long eyelashes with wide eyes.

“You’re so big…” He knew he was at least a little bit above average, but the awe and delight in her voice had a wave of pride washing over him. She had an air of innocence about her despite the bold way she’d come onto him and he was finding it hard to hold himself back. However, he didn’t have to struggle with his restraint for long before she sank to her knees, staring at his cock with a hungry look in her eyes. “I can’t wait to taste you…”

She looked up at him, almost as if she was waiting for permission, but he didn’t trust his voice not to crack so he simply nodded. That was all the encouragement she needed as she eagerly took him into her mouth earning a hiss of pleasure from Jamie as his head tipped back into the warm stream of the shower. He’d had a few doubts about the level of experience that Lia had, but it was soon obvious that he had nothing to worry about because if she was unpracticed then she was a natural talent.

The warmth, the pressure, the pace that she set. It was like she knew exactly what he needed even before he did. She took him deep, gagging slightly in a way that was another little boost to his ego, but his chivalrous side came out as he let one hand slide to her the back of her head to help steady her movements and keep her comfortable. He was careful to keep his grip loose - more to guide than to control - as she clearly needed very little help from him.

He watched completely entranced as she hollowed her cheeks, sucking him so enthusiastically that it was like she was honoured to do it. As her hand drifted from his thigh to gently cup and tease his balls, an obscene sound left his mouth and he felt himself quickly heading towards a peak. He knew it hadn’t taken long and usually he would have been feeling a little more sheepish about his lack of control, but he was too wrapped up in his pleasure to care.

“Babe,” he choked out, knowing he needed to warn her before he was too far gone to form any words. “I’m close.”

The only indication that she’d heard was a slight increase of her tempo and as he felt her tongue drag pointedly along the vein on the underside of his cock, Jamie was lost in his pleasure to repeat himself. His fist clenched as his other hand tightened its grip on Lia’s hair and he resisted the urge to buck into her mouth, letting out a strangled cry as the rush of his release washed over him.

His knees felt weak as his heart raced in his chest, but even when Lia pulled away to swallow, she used her hand to gently stroke him until he came back down from his high. And once his mind began to clear, he reached down to offer her a hand and help her back to her feet.

“Fuckin’ hell, babe,” he murmured. “Where did that come from?”

“You deserved it,” she smiled. “Was it okay?”

“Okay? You were fucking amazing,” he assured her. “Didn’t expect you to be so bold.”

She blushed so hard that even her chest was flushed and a glimmer of the more trepidatious girl he was used to reappeared.

“I can be bold when I need to be.”

Based on what he’d seen so far, Jamie had no argument to that claim. There was obviously far more to Lia than he’d expected and he was excited to peel back even more of her layers.

“Yeah? Well, so can I,” he informed her. “How about we get out of this shower and I can return the favour?”

She bit her lip as his words made her shiver against him, but to his surprise she shook her head.

“No, it’s okay,” she assured him. “Tonight was about you.”

“You don’t want me to? It should be about both of us. You were just saying what a team player I am.”

His words were said with a smirk and he felt Lia giggle as she leaned her head against his chest.

“You are, but I didn’t expect any reciprocation. I just wanted to do something special for you.”

“Touching you would be pretty special too.” He slid his hand down to cup the cheek of her bum, revelling in the feel of her smooth skin and noting the way she turned her body slightly when he gave it a little squeeze, almost as if she was opening herself up to him. “But you didn’t answer my question. Do you want me to?”

She whimpered in response as Jamie let his hand drift over the curve of her hip, but he waited and simply rubbed his thumb against her skin until she gave him proper confirmation.

“Yes…”

It was a short response, but it was almost as desperate as Jamie's earlier plea and after her efforts to bring him pleasure, Jamie wasn’t going to make her ask twice.

Sliding his hand lower, he was somewhat surprised to find that the skin between her legs was bare. It was a detail that escaped his notice when she’d first dropped her robe, but now his mind had been cleared by his release, it caught his attention and he shelved the thought for another time to avoid embarrassing her or doing anything that might cause her to make him stop his exploration. Instead, he stayed quiet as his hand dipped lower until she parted her legs to grant him more access and the wetness he found between them had another groan falling from his lips.

“Fuck, babe, you’re soaked,” he informed her, as if she might be unaware. “Is this all for me?”

He stroked her gently, letting his fingers trail just beside the sensitive bud that he knew would be desperate for his attention as she murmured out a soft ‘mhmm’. He could feel her hand gripping his bicep as he watched her eyes drift shut and a moan slipped from her lips as he let a finger dip gently inside her. She was tight and the thought of the muscles that were gripping his finger being wrapped around his cock was almost enough to have him twitching back to life, but he kept his focus on her as he paid attention to the movements that earned him coos of pleasure or gasps of encouragement. It wasn’t long before he added another finger to his explorations, enjoying the way she stretched around him as his thumb came to settle finally on the bundle of nerves he’d been carefully avoiding. The sound she made at the contact was one of pure bliss and had Jamie feeling desperate to see her fall apart under his touch.

“You’re so fuckin’ pretty like this,” he groaned. “Let go for me, baby. Wanna see you cum, wanna feel it.”

His encouragement had her whimpering again, but he could tell from the quick rise and fall of her chest and the way her nails were digging into his skin that she was close. He kept his movements steady and it only took a few more moments for her to come undone, letting out a moan that sent shivers down his spine as he felt her clench around him. He coaxed her through it until she was quivering him against him when he slowly moved his hand away.

She clung to him, but as her breathing steadied and he felt her heartbeat slow in her chest, he realized the water washing over them was starting to get cold.

“Let’s get out of here.”

The words were murmured into her hair and he felt her nod as she stumbled away from him as if she was in a daze. He smirked, knowing that if she was shaken now she would be absolutely wrecked when he was able to really take his time with her, but he also knew that she seemed sincere when she insisted that she still wanted to take things slow. Considering she’d just given him far more than he’d expected to get anytime soon, he was more than happy to respect her wishes and he turned off the water before grabbing a towel and following her out of the bathroom, eager not to let her too far out of his sight.

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chapter twelve

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