#shitposting from the gate

[peterbazooca]

*taps mic* Is this anything?

[lady-sapphyre]

[yaoiconnoisseur]

Gale “Irritable Bowel Syndrome” Dekarios

find me on BlueSky

[kaisumisucreations]

combatmeta.jpeg

[thedomesticanthropologist]

Coffee shop au

Tav, making Astarion a coffee: how do you take it?

Astarion: from behind, usually

Wyll, standing with him: Astarion

Tav, sighing, adressing Wyll: I meant how does he take his coffee

Wyll: Black, thank you-

Astarion: HA, incidentally -

Wyll: A S T A R I O N

[bitethedevil]

Living with Raphael

Because I’ve seen so many people do “domestic bliss” posts and similar stuff about other BG3 characters and it made me think. I love him but I would rather go skinny dipping in the Styx than actually live with this man, because I believe he would be the shittiest roommate ever. Here’s why:

Micro-managing: You can’t do shit without his endless sneering and commenting on every tiny little thing you do and it’s all in the name or “keeping the order in his house”. In reality, it has nothing to do with order, it’s just that he has a very particular way of doing things and you’re supposed to just be able to read his mind.

His tantrums: I just know he’s just like his daddy. Calm and collected one second, and literally tearing something apart in unhinged anger the next. How do you know which mood he’s in? You don’t. He can sit quietly doing his business and a simple “how are you” will be enough for him to explode about something that has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Endless yapping or total silence: You’re either forced to listen for hours about something or you literally can’t get him to talk because he’s in his own head. If it’s the former, he doesn’t even care if you don’t want to listen, he will make you listen and don’t you dare pull your attention away from him. If it’s the latter, you might get a “mm” or a ‘yes’ if you’re lucky, but he’s not listening regardless. If you’re unlucky, refer to point two.

Can’t fucking sit still for two seconds: he’s always doing something and it’s all hours of the day. He does not give an imp’s ass if you’re asleep if he decides it’s time to play a fucking symphony on the organ at three o’ clock in the morning. He’ll loudly recite poetry as well and it’s the same couple of verses again…and again…and again…”until it’s perfect”.

‘Mine’: (This is basically Raphael if you’re that age where you remember this show.) Nothing is ‘yours’ or ‘ours’, no no. You’re in his house, no matter how long you’ve lived there or even if you’re goddamn married. Everything is his (you included because you’re under his roof).

Mind games: This one is pretty obvious. Everything will be made into a manipulative mind game of some sort and it would be about the stupidest shit sometimes as well. He’s constantly playing 3D chess and I would resort to, not only eat the pieces to win, but also to maybe just throw the whole board away. Not dealing with your psychological torture, my dude.

Haarlep, I salute you 🫡 No one should be forced to live with him.

[amaryllis-sagitta]

Astarion: having a deep, cathartic moment full of mixed, long-pent-up emotions, where the pain and grief after his old life have a witness and can be finally released, which in turn takes him into a mild hypomanic state where relief, love, hopefulness and the horny intermingle, focused on the single person who's been there for him on that journey and saw the best version of him all along

Baldur's Gate Cemetery Caretaker:

[ultrakatua]

In light of the resurgence of the (literal) shitposting, I'll be brave and say it.

If you can't handle Raphael at his "the shit bucket stays in the hallway" self, you don't deserve him at his "serving cunt on the daily" self.

Also imagine for a second how every single HoH fic would be funnier if they acknowledged the shit bucket. Think of it. Not too hard, but think of it.

[gale-gaze]

[ The Committee for the Liberation and Interrogation of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society ]

[edenorisshitposting]

Have some cursed baldur's gate fanart

[astarionanon]

[botcomplex]

Apparently, it's "Appreciate a Dragon Day". Hope Astarion's got enough AC and Constitution for that! Lil oc x BG3 shitpost to start off the year as I force myself back into drawing

[lady-sapphyre]

[speed-demon-doodler]

Took a big risk there buddy - act 2

Thankfully they're both smitten with each other and the whole adventure is turning into a DND themed romantic comedy

[blu3b3rrynightmar3]

It’s nocturnal nonhuman November yall

[renn-aissance]

Just thinking about how what if Astarion was given his ability to eat food and taste again (idk if he can or can’t I’m just under the impression he doesn’t). Like, homie would be trying shit left and right. Dude would lose it at a buffet. If I were eating something, he’d probably ask to try it. I’d get sick of it eventually and it’d me like:

(Astarion: “Oh, I do so very like spicy food.” 👉🏻👈🏻🥺)

(I WANNA DRAW IT SO BAD RAAAAAAHH)