#shit endos say

[sysmedsaresexist]

A 🌟 syscourse enraged 🌟 reminder

The most common type of dissociation is emotion-based

This means having memory of events with no personal emotional reaction to them (the 'not me' mentality).

This is dissociation basics, and alter 101.

Derealization and depersonalization are a part of DID, and are typically used as a defense to lessen distress and dysfunction so people can carry on living their best lives (not to say that they can't be distressing-- the experience of DP/DR absolutely can be).

[justanothersyscourse]

Hot take

Anti endos just want endos to stfu about DID and stay in their lane

Anti endos just want endos to stop spreading misinformation and lies about DID and its history

Anti endos just want to interact with other DID systems, because endos can't be trusted not to say something insensitive and dumb

Presenting facts and correcting misinformation isn't a hate crime, get over yourselves, you're not oppressed

[sophieinwonderland]

Really?

Hey, does anyone remember that time a while back when @sysmedsaresexist targeted an endogenic positivity blog with an angry rant, making it all about themselves???

I just absolutely love the "starving children" line because the appeal to worse problems is literally what this whole post was doing but somehow is accusing endogenic systems of doing it!

A positivity post said endogenic systems are strong for dealing with everything they deal with.

SAS attacked them for talking about this while trauamgenic systems have it worse. And then acted like the positivity post was engaging in the Appeal to Worse Problems.

Just, absolutely amazing mental gymnastics to make themselves into the victim of a positivity post.

Let's also give a shoutout to that one comment under the post...

Thank you for putting your bigotry so openly on display for us!

Just for the record: it's not minimizing the experiences of traumagenic systems to talk about the stigmatization and oppression of endogenic systems.

In public, endogenic systems are regularly subjected to general pluralphobia. Most lay people will treat you like you're crazy for having voices in your head and other agents who takeover your body, regardless of whether you call them alters, tulpas or some type of spirits.

But as @ghostly-collective points out, there is also specific endophobia, especially in online spaces.

Endogenic systems are regularly targeted for harassment for existing. We're sent hate anons and death threats on Tumblr. We face mass harassment on TikTok. We're regularly ostracized and banned from Discord servers that don't even have anything to do with systems because of anti-endos.

And as you can see, we can't even have positivity blogs because anti-endos will target them.

Pointing out the stigmatization endogenic systems isn't minimizing what traumagenic systems go through.

But you know... when the people who are making these sorts of Appeal to Worse Problems arguments are part of the hate groups who are causing endogenic systems to be be stigmatized and harassed in the first place, it really has the same energy as someone punching you in the face while telling you to shutup because they've been punched harder.

(There are a ton more examples of SAS posting about Tumblr blogs if you browse the "#shit endos say" tag. Including many examples that are more recent. This was just one of the grossest I came across and I needed to get off my chest how appalling it was.)

[creativebaby]

@the-firefly-jar-system

tw; swearing, strong emotions

I am so sorry????? Your DNI should not be disregarded, especially on a post for a specific group of people??? No one gets to be upset over that wtf???

Sorry but. what the hell????

[xxskinny-witxhesxx]

Why are we hiding our ED?

If influencers can pass it off as “healthy lifestyle” and “gut health” and “getting fit again”

Then why are we not Literally doing the same thing?

I’ve seen videos of girls:

“here’s my recipe for Healthy Food 100calorie or less …”

The moms that giggle to their teenagers about Skipping a meal, only have “blank” for dinner and the “how bad am I” catchphrase that comes with it…

And that’s not an ED??????

Also if you didn’t know most of them do have severe ED’S.

So Don’t hide it!

[circular-bircular]

Man, apparently, tagging literally any post with anything endogenic is now fakeclaiming any person with a complex dissociative disorder. Nevermind if the post directly mentions endogenic systems - if it mentioned anyone who isn't endogenic but has an endogenic tag, it's now fakeclaiming.

Wtf are some of you all on?

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF Phone guy was wild for saying that to Michael..

[thehealingsystem]

if you ever wonder why I don't interact with the traumagenic community as a traumagenic system this is why

[beanghostprincess]

RIP Endo you would've loved to study art history because viewing the people you cherish as a sculpture and a painting is fucking insane and you would've adored the symbology behind it

[evergreen-endo]

WE PLAY THE SAME KEYS AT DIFFERENT TIMES — r. kaji.

cw: 18+ mdni, f! reader, car sex, spit. wc: 0.8k a/n: unedited. thought about him on my drive home. enjoy. 

You and Kaji can’t ever just listen to music in the car together.

He really never intended for it to be like this at first— but once it happened the first time, it’s all he could think of the next time he got in his car. It’s the same every time; inviting you for a ride to listen to a tune that’s stuck in his head, one he claims he can’t get rid of until he hears it again. But with him, it can never just be one song. There are too many that make him think of you these days, despite his best efforts to press skip on those in particular. 

He drives around until night falls, and you’ve both shared everything you’ve had on repeat this week. As he pulls onto the highway, the low vibration of his car picking up speed thrums against your thighs, much like the guitar blaring through his speakers. The low light of the city falls on his hands as he steers with practiced motion, heel of his palm flat against the leather. Warm yellow light trails along the veins on his arms, dragging your gaze wherever it touches. It highlights the rim of his features for a split second, long enough to see the way he side eyes you.

He lets out a huff, leaning back against the headrest to hide in the dark, though it’s futile. As he whirrs past the overheads, the light guides your gaze to his thighs, spread lazily even with one foot on the gas, and up, up, up to…oh. It’s only a second that you see it before light rushes past, and you wait on the next street light to illuminate him. It takes its time, stretching slowly over the same path, fingertips to forearms to biceps. A flit of your eyes down, and the car leers onto the exit ramp, light changing its course and missing the bulge of his cock entirely. 

The both of you huff for different reasons, you in disappointment, and him in relief. Not that you can hear each other over the music, anyway.

You spend the rest of the ride bopping your head along and picking up your phone to add songs you like to your own playlist. He’s grateful that there aren’t as many street lamps on the route to your place, so you miss the poorly hidden smirk that plays on his lips. 

Pulling into your driveway, he thumbs at his wheel to turn the music down just as that one song comes on. The one you fucked to the first time he did this; the reason he keeps inviting you to do this. He pauses, sighing, and turns it back up again. You tense, thighs crossing as you hear the click of his seatbelt and squeak of the leather as he reaches over to click yours, too.

Kaji’s breath always comes out ragged— grits his teeth and hisses through them even as his chest heaves for more oxygen. He’s got you bouncing on his cock in his backseat, guiding you to some extent, rough grip on your hips because he really can’t find it in himself to be gentle. Not when you move so perfectly you hit every goddamn beat. 

You’re the perfect melody to him— he has half a mind to lean forward and turn the music down in favor of the sound of you. Ass clapping against his thighs, wet squelching from between yours, breathy moans and gasps and keens. He wishes he could isolate every salacious layer of sound— to savor it, ingrain it into his memory to replay over and over.

The beat of the song slows, just before he knows it’ll build up again. He takes the break to wrap an arm around your waist, effectively slowing the motion of your hips. You whine as he forces you to grind your clit against him, and he hums, captivated.

Using his free hand, he twirls his fingers through your hair, wrapping the strands around to get enough hold to pull you forward, the abruptness ripping a gasp from you. Perfect. Twisting his lips up, he tilts his head forward, letting a glob of spit travel past his lips and drip down onto your awaiting tongue as he plants his feet firm on the ground. With all the leverage in the world, he bucks his hips up into you as the beat picks up again, the heavy weight of his thrusts knocking the air from your lungs. 

It gets hard to move when you squeeze around him, ticks him off that you’re slowing down his rhythm. He just wants to give you what you deserve and you’re always holding him back with that fucking grip of yours. At least, he thinks, you’re giving him a chance to readjust his hips, so he can hit that spongey spot inside you until the song closes out, until all that’s left is the sound of your shared panting.

[sysmedsaresexist]

Syscourse self-awareness

Pop Quiz

Which side said this?

Without checking, was it an anti endo or a pro endo that said this?

Syscourse becomes very different when you realize that the other side says the exact same things about you that you say about them.

It's even worse when you realize that they're right, and you are the ignorant person.

[justanothersyscourse]

A syscourse enraged reminder

The DSM also uses "associated with trauma" because it can't decide on a definition of a trauma, either.

Right now it's incredibly strict as it's based on events that cause PTSD.

Research shows that DID forms from more types of trauma than just the DSM's strict definition (which is typically events that involve the perceived, inescapable threat of death or severe bodily harm).

Therefore, events that fit the DSM's definition of trauma won't always occur, and this is why there's a huge shift in language happening within the community and in clinical settings (terms such as Adverse Childhood Experiences "ACEs", the inclusion of CPTSD into the ICD, the research into disorganized attachments in dissociative disorders, etc).

It doesn't mean it's not trauma based, it means they're still figuring out what trauma is and how to define it for diagnostic purposes.

There's like, ten thousand reasons, how many more do you need.

[sysmedsaresexist]

You know, I swore I wouldn't interact but, I don't... Hate some of the points behind this post, and I think these are valid conversations that should be had by both sides, BUT MOSTLY, I wanted to say for that last part-- "birth is traumatic" came from an endo system and is serious in tone

Anti endos did not push it that far, in this case

Curious hypothetical time! A sysmed forms an accidental tulpa. Without the rest of the systems fully knowledge, the tulpa begins researching more about plurality and acceptance. How do you think this changes the sysmed? Would it, since the tulpa is technically the same while not the same as them??

I don't know.

There's a truth that we need to talk about which some people don't want to hear on both sides. And that's... based on observations of DID systems who have both alters and tulpas, there isn't really much of a functional difference between the two.

That's not to say that a DID system will act like a non-DID system. But it's very common for alters in DID systems to form for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with trauma or stress of any kind.

Anti-endos are split on these types of experiences. There is one group that believes that alters can only form based on trauma or stress, erasing the experiences of all the many DID systems who have had alters formed during times where stress wasn't actively part of their lives. The second group believes that alters can form for literally any reason, as long as trauma formed the first alters.

Most tulpas will function just like other alters in the system that weren't formed through trauma. If the system switches based on triggers, the tulpa may also. If the system has dissociative amnesia, that will often affect the tulpa.

This isn't a universal truth and there may be some exceptions. For example, some systems with bad communication have reported that they have solid communication with the tulpa but not their alters, and that the tulpa can pass messages between the alters. But by and large, there's little difference between intentional tulpas and non-trauma-holder alters.

As always, this is a great read for anyone interested in the experiences of a tulpa and DID system:

And so I don't think this would have any real effect. Anti-endos will ignore and isolate their pro-endo headmates. They'll explain away the fact the headmate was created through means other than trauma.

Maybe if that pro-endo headmate decided to follow a tulpamancy guide to create a new headmate and prove that the guides work for intentional headmate creation, that might be able to prove to the system that it's real. But so many anti-endos are set in their ways, I expect they'd conclude that even the guides work, they ONLY work for systems who have dissociative disorders already.

That would be a really dumb conclusion, but no more so than the unfortunately-very-real takes I've seen where the reasonable "anything has the potential to be traumatic" was taken to the silly extreme of "actually, even every system claiming to be born that way would be traumagenic because being born is traumatizing."

Some people will just twist anything to fit their pre-existing beliefs. 🤷‍♀️

[such-a-downer]

And thus, they had fireworks.

Though many have thought that the barbecue party has officially closed, the latest chapter threw in an extra punch. But not in a way that leaves a good taste (to me at least).

Just joking, it's not as long as I wanted it to be. My productivity is very crippled rn.

Indigestion

Sakura is thanked by Umemiya once more for the help but we immediately see him wear wrinkles on his face. He feels as though he still have conflicting feelings about it. In his thoughts, he sways the spotlight towards Roppo Ichiza and Shishitoren for being the ones doing the grind. But it doesn't change the fact that it was him who asked for help in the first place. Even Umemiya himself admits his shortcoming on this.

A Gap That He's Missing

Aside from his indigestion of other people's gratitude (it's practically his chronic bug), Sakura broods over being called "amazing" by Umemiya. To him, it doesn't sit right. Afterall, Umemiya pulled off what he couldn't.

It would probably help Sakura to come into terms with it once he understands what he's missing on: the difference between Umemiya's fight with Takiishi and his fight with Endo.

Umemiya's "I'm winning this"

Sakura who has shut himself away from other people most of his life, wonders if he can be like Umemiya. The obvious answer is no. At least, not so early on. He witnessed the power of Umemiya's resolve. But it seems as though he is yet to understand the tough process for that resolve to be so strong.

Umemiya's resolve is very deep-rooted and has been richly cultivated through the years, a whole experience that is still long ways to go for Sakura.

And this is Umemiya against Takiishi here. These two got history. With no clear winner, the ordeal was dragged on and on until Takiishi's departure. Their fight is simply them picking up where they left off– a settlement. Well, Takiishi's plainly just fixated on fighting Umemiya, savoring the moment. To Umemiya, he just needs to win against Takiishi. It's pretty much simple and straighforward, it is indeed "selfish". By that, I mean the fight just centers around them.

Furthermore, unlike us readers, Sakura doesn't know what's going on Umemiya's head. He sees the sudden exchange between Umemiya and Takiishi but does not fully understand the sentiments behind their words.

Sakura does not know this eureka moment of Umemiya. Perhaps if it's known to him, he wouldn't be so down and glum for not going for the win during his fight with Endo. It would have given him better understanding of the difference between his actions and Umemiya's.

Sakura's "I don't have to win"

On the other hand, Sakura's fight with Endo is quite a mess. Their battle goes beyond just winning against the other. To Sakura, it's a "now or never" gamble but to Endo, it's a matter of mind games. Endo is so good with his words, a manipulative opponent who was so close to breaking Sakura. Had Hiiragi and others did not get to the scene on time, who knows what would have become of Sakura.

Sakura clearly sees Endo as undeniably, the stronger fighter. This causes Sakura to fight with the determination to "drag Endo down with him", to stop Endo from dealing any more damage to Furin.

In spite of Endo's overwhelming strength, Sakura was able to best him out. And that, has something to do with Endo's internal realization.

If Endo was a typical bad guy, he would have ended Sakura long ago, no hesitation. But he is a crazy nut in extremes. He wants Sakura to cross over to his side and for that, Endo was ready to break Sakura. Undoubtedly, he is very capable of that.

Endo wants Sakura (I'm not pertaining to yaoi tones). But he knows can never bend Sakura to his will. Yet he longs for the euphoric sensation that Sakura gives him (again, NOT pertaining to yaoi tones wtf). Endo wants it very much that he let himself be taken down before he knew it.

But since Sakura is oblivious of the effect he has on others, he is still confused after asking Endo about it. Winning is not always based on physical strength. Sakura is yet to fully grasp the idea.

Keeping Him Well-Grounded

With Kaji's help, Sakura was able to get past through his doubts and fear of rejection. In turn, his classmates slapped him with the fact that he is accepted and cherished despite the flaws. Furin has become Sakura's place where he can belong to. As someone who has always been shunned, it is only a natural instinct for Sakura to do what he can just to protect it. Even if it means risking by putting himself on the line.

Sakura is indeed impressive for his growth in such a short time. But at the same time, worrying, as Hiragi said. Someone in the wbk server that Sakura might turn aggressive because of his want to protect his friends and possibly get worse injury. I agree and can see the high chances of it happening. I also have a bad premonition that Sakura's about to fall into a bad relapse in the future, and temporarily put up his pre-Furin persona again.

Right now, it's important for Sakura to realize what his recklessness is doing to him. He needs to understand that self-sacrifice does not guarantee a fix-all solution. He needs to realize how much his presence means to his friends in order to keep himself grounded and not act recklessly.

With firm grounding, Sakura can grow strong, even surpass Umemiya if he wishes so and face whatever comes his way without being blown away.

That's all. Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk.

Sending TLC to Sakura 💕

[xxskinny-witxhesxx]

Tw: Toxic Opinion

Like I get the satisfaction of purging because like yea endorphins in the brain, ill do anything for a chemical rush of happiness too but I dont get bulimia...

Just don't eat it and go for walk...

Idk toxic ana thought 😅

[faunabells]

to continuously believe that singlethood is the default for the human pysche is to ignore countless of cultural experiences, especially those that belongs to poc.

if you're against the idea that queer identities are illnesses, then you're against the idea that plurality is inherently a disorder. they are all just experiences that exists outside of anglo-saxon paradigm of humanity.