#ship is the definition of grasping at straws

[museofspaces]

controversial take i never saw the point in michael x evan

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

im curious, why do you like fiddlestan?

i like them in theory (all the pain potential, jeez!) but i feel like i'm missing something very obvious

Oh boy, you’re about to open pandoras box with this one -

I’ve liked fiddlestan for a LONG time, almost a decade now, (EXHIBIT A!!!), and honestly, I’ll admit that the ship is mostly based on speculation. So maybe you’re not missing something obvious, maybe I’m just delusional. I can’t speak for everyone, all I can do is explain why I like it: because it’s deeply rooted in several layers of irony. 

It’s ironic because fiddleford spent the better part of a YEAR dealing with fords nonsense. (And I KNOW, it’s not all bad, but really, especially if you read journal 3, that poor man was put through a LOT. He was definitely taken advantage of, at LEAST a little.) And after grappling with the acceptance that your longtime friend and unrequited love will never return your feelings, having lost the man to some crazy otherworldly nightmare machine, who shows up?? But his TWIN BROTHER who’s HUMBLE and KIND and TEN TIMES MORE DOWN TO EARTH?? It’s ironic, because they don’t know each other, yet they both have years of history with the same person who’s wronged them, and, they can make out about it!! THEY CAN FUCK TO SPITE HIM!! Stan stole his brothers name (and committed multiple crimes under said name), stole his house, and stole his research partner!! And… it's ironic because it’s Grunkle Stan and old man Mcgucket. That needs no elaboration.

(these are all my personal takes/headcanons! Like I said, this ship is based solely on interpretation, so I’m sure a lot of fiddlestanners like fiddauthor too. There’s like a billion different ways to interpret this ship.)

Also -

Their personalities are surprisingly similar when you stop and think about it!! You put those two in the same room, and they’d come up with some highly devilish scams together. They both have moral codes that are a little… ambiguous. And… I can’t believe I’m gonna pull this out as *canon fiddlestan documentation* but these are the kind of crumbs we’re working with here: MABELS DREAM IN THE SOCK OPERA CREDITS!!!! Although it’s not something that actually happened, and it’s just a reference to statler and waldorf, they are IN CHARACTER!! I think this is how they would actually act together if they were friends!! Just two old dudes, hanging out together watching tv, making fun of whatever they’re watching. If you’re in the room, you might get roasted too. Just a couple of old farts. It makes me so happy to think about. 

No fiddlestan rundown post would be complete without the fandoms EXTREME STRAW GRASP at Old Goldie and the Flame Retardant Raccoon. Soos calls mcgucket a “prospector guy,” amongst the other obvious comparisons you can make between fiddleford and goldie. Goldie is something stan used to like a long time ago, but he’s all old and fucked up now, best to throw him away and forget about it. BUT, as it turns out, there’s still good in that old thing after all. SO LETS GET MARRIED IN VEGAS!!!! It’s an extreme stretch, but… It’s a fiddlestan trope that they, at some point, have a crazy night of fun+romance in vegas together.  And I personally like to think that they return when they’re older+happy and tie the knot for reals. The raccoon speaks for itself - it’s one of the ways you can compare stan to a raccoon. And of course, mcgucket's raccoon wife. 

This is where it starts to get a little angsty, and if you “get all the pain potential” then you may have already given this some thought - but why does stan treat fiddleford the way he does if they used to love each other? The whole “UGH, this guy” comment in land before swine, looking all uncomfortable around him in fight fighters, choosing the spot furthest from where mcgucket lotions himself at the pool, and the “possum breath” comment in the last episode (and fiddleford actually has the mental clarity to look perturbed after he says it). Stan is hurt!!! He’s upset!! If they used to be a Thing after the portal incident, something must have happened between them for fiddlefords mental illness to get the better of him, and for him to choose to erase both stan and ford from his memories. I, personally, think that it was deep rooted internal homophobia (being raised in the south, that runs deep), and being scared for getting too close to stan. They were getting too comfortable, and that scared him. What about his family? And tate? His son can never meet stan. He can never let his wife know. And all the paranormal fuckery incidents leading up to this that already weakened his mental state, the portal incident, already having zapped his brain a few times, would have sent him over the edge. So I’m thinking they would have gotten into a fight of some kind, and fiddleford would have stormed off. Thus leaving stan having to live in a town with the person he USED to love, who doesn’t remember him at all!!! What!!!!! That sucks!!!! Only upside to fiddlefords memory erasure is that it makes it easier for stan to pretend nothing ever happened. But it’s still not easy. Also, if word ever got out that old man mcgucket used to be his boyfriend, he would never be able to live it down. So he compensates by being an ass towards him. Fuck. 

But then!! If fiddleford has the chance to heal!!! (say… maybe… when the twins are on the stan o war II) then stan would come back to gravity falls and see fiddleford looking like the person he knew thirty years ago!!!! WHAT!?!?! CAN’T RUN FROM YOUR PAST FOREVER, CAN YOU!?!?! And you KNOW fiddleford would remember what happened with stan. How long can stan keep himself in denial?? And now we’re opening up the can of worms: how the FUCK does this information reach ford?? That your brother used to canoodle with your research partner and might STILL BE?? That has so much potential too. 

Ok I wasn’t expecting to write those last two paragraphs but it’s A BIG PART OF WHY I LOVE FIDDLESTAN!!! It’s a crazy fucking rollercoaster ride!!! This thing has so many angles!!! And that’s just MY fiddlestan interpretation - I’ve seen a lot of different takes on the sort of story that would transpire between these two. But no matter what you’re cooking, It’s always a LOT. 

There’s probably so so much I didn’t touch on here. If anyone else wants to throw in their two cents as to why they like fiddlestan, please, add something!!!

[chibinasuu]

Steady as She Goes | Jinbe & Reader

Part of the Thousand Sunny Slice-of-Life Series

Find the other parts with the rest of the Straw Hats here

Summary: You and Jinbe share a quiet moment at the helm in the calm after the storm Word count: 965  Tags: one-shot, pure fluff, domestic bliss onboard the sunny, platonic straw hat pirates x reader, no use of y/n, GN but written with F!Reader in mind

“Zoro! Sanji! Reef the mainsail!” Nami shouted above the howling winds, “Jinbe, head forty-five degrees starboard! We’ll be out of this soon!”

The crew moved in a practiced manner, almost on autopilot. This was not the first, and definitely not the worst storm they’ve ever experienced in the Grand Line. 

Salty sprays of seawater mixed with the pouring rain soon had you drenched as your fingers deftly worked to secure the rigging, tugging on the ropes to make sure they were fastened correctly. 

“Huge waves incoming! Brace yourselves!” Someone shouted, the cacophony of wind, thunder, and rain so loud that you could barely register the command. 

You tried to readjust your grip on the ropes, hoping to get a stronger hold, but before you could do that, the Sunny crashed onto an oncoming wave, bringing a flood of salt water onto the deck. The strong impact lifted your body a few inches off the ground, and you felt your heart drop as the rope was brutally torn away from your grasp. 

The slippery floor didn’t help as you tried to regain your footing, and another lurch of the ship sent you sliding across the deck. You closed your eyes, bracing for impact, but it never came. Instead, you felt a strong arm wrap around your waist and pull you to your feet. 

You open your eyes to find Jinbe — one arm supporting you, whilst his other hand wrangled the helm in an effort to keep it steady. 

“Is the rigging secured?!” Jinbe roared.

You could only nod, your body still shaking from the shock. 

Jinbe gave your back a firm pat then barked loudly, “Then get inside! Now!”

You half-crawled, half-stumbled your way into the dining room, where you found Chopper and Robin.

Dozens of hands were sprouting from various surfaces, working to secure loose items in the room.

Chopper fussed over you when you staggered through the door, “You’re bleeding! Let me grab the first aid kit!”

In the heat of things, you didn’t realize the friction from the coarse ropes had caused ribbons of blood to flow from your palms. You sat quietly as Chopper bandaged your hands, trying to be as gentle and careful as possible amid the violent rocking of the ship. 

After a while, the movement of the ship gradually slowed to a gentle sway as the Thousand Sunny escaped from the storm safely, thanks to Nami’s expert directions and Jinbe’s masterful steering.

The Straw Hats were all slumped on the chairs of the dining table, huddled with towels, clearly exhausted from their brush with the harsh weather. Well, everyone except Jinbe, who insisted on remaining at the helm to readjust the ship’s course and monitor its bearing amid the shifting winds. Sanji poured steaming cups of tea for the crew to warm up their bodies, and you offered to take one to your helmsman. 

You found Jinbe at the helm, hands fixed on the wheel and eyes on the horizon.

“Hi, Jinbe.” You said, alerting him of your presence. 

Jinbe smiled gently at you, “How are your hands?”

“Oh, they’re fine. Chopper patched them up nicely.” You offered him the tea, “Thanks for saving me earlier. I would’ve hurt more than my hands if it wasn’t for you.”

He took the cup, taking a sip before saying, “I apologize for raising my voice at you.”

You shook your head, “I know you were just looking out for me. It was me who made a mistake.”

He chuckled, “Mistakes happen, kid. And sometimes it wasn’t even your fault – just bad luck.”

Jinbe gulped down his tea, put down his empty cup, and repositioned his hands back on the wheel. You both stood in silence, eyes on the open sea. You turned toward Jinbe and observed his unmoving stance, firm and steady. After a while of him staying still as a rock, you wondered aloud, “Does it ever get boring? Manning the helm when the weather is calm like this?”

Jinbe guffawed at your frank question, “Once you’ve been sailing as long as I do, kid, boring is good. You’ll learn to appreciate the quiet moments.” He gestured for you to come closer, “Wanna take her for a spin?”

You excitedly nodded, never really having a chance to take the helm before. 

Jinbe guided your hands and placed them in the proper position on the wheel. He pointed at the middle needle of the log pose, “That’s the one we’re following right now.” 

“Now, just keep her steady.” He instructed you, “Feel the winds. It will try to pull us off course, and when that happens, you will need to guide Sunny to stay on the right track.”

You turned the wheel experimentally but didn’t feel the ship shift its direction. You were about to turn it further when Jinbe’s hand stopped you, “Patience. Sunny is a big ship, it takes a little time for her to listen to your commands.”

True to his word, a few seconds later, the Sunny slowly altered its heading according to your will, turning slightly away from where the Log Pose’s needle was pointing. You glowed in delight at your successful attempt, before turning the wheel in the opposite direction to return the ship to its original course. 

Jinbe laughed, “You’ll make a fine helmsman!”

You relinquished the helm back to Jinbe and stood beside him, basking in the orange glow of the setting sun and reveling in the calm after the storm. 

No words were spoken between the two of you after that, but the silence was a comfortable one.

Under Jinbe’s guidance, the Thousand Sunny sailed over the waves, inching forward toward your next destination. You couldn’t quiet your heartbeat as it pounded in anticipation of what adventure your crew would find next.

Find the other parts with the rest of the Straw Hats here

[bluiela]

E/riels lack of reading comprehension becomes apparent when they drag Azriel's character down just to grasp straws at their ship.

Like wdym "Azriel didn't show mate behavior by not interfering and getting Gwyn in the BR, he cared more about Eris, he didn't care about Gwyn in the BR etc"

Firstly, if you think Azriel is a person who doesn't care about his friends and sister-in-law potentially getting killed / Sa'ed or worse and then you ship him with your supposed favorite character then that is a ..choice and I definitely wouldn't make it.

Secondly, we don't know how anyone reacted to the girls getting kidnapped canonically because Cassian wasn't paying attention to it,

"Cassian couldn’t breathe. Hadn’t been able to breathe or speak for long minutes now. His family had arrived, and they all surrounded him in the wrecked bedroom of Emerie’s house. They were speaking, Azriel with some urgency, but Cassian didn’t hear him, heard nothing but the roaring in his head before he said to no one in particular, “I’m going after them.”

Thirdly, mates believing in mates and letting them do dangerous stuff is peak mate behavior

Have people forgotten about Rhysand using Feyre as bait? sending her to the most dangerous person aka weaver? letting Feyre do her thing in Spring court? Cassian leaving Nesta alone in the Bog? Rhysand literally watching Feyre do the trials. (because as Rhysand couldn't interfere then, Azriel can't interfere now). and so on,

This is literally SJM mate language,

And canonically Azriel did react,

"Cassian said, voice thickening. “To Emerie and Gwyn.” The shadows deepened around Azriel, his Siphons gleaming like cobalt fire. “You—we—trained them well, Cassian. Trust in that. It’s all we can do.”

This right here is SJM peak mate behavior (believing in mate's capabilities not blind over protection).

[selfship-confession-void]

"Isn't Enemies to Lovers proship" Nope! Here's Why (+ Explaining Strawmen)

Proship/comship/neutral/darkfic DO NOT interact!! This post is not and never will be for you, stay away from me.

So I got this question as an anon but the ask just disappeared 😭 anyways I feel like this is a good topic to tackle because this shoddy argument is thrown around a lot

Short answer: No, but it can be depending on the execution

Long answer: Enemies to lovers as a trope isn't inherently toxic, but if it's handled wrong then yes the relationship would be abusive and ergo would be proship. But just because it CAN be handled poorly doesn't mean it's AUTOMATICALLY toxic and bad on principal

More under the cut:

I've had people I've hated who I later warmed up to. Happens all the time, that's life, you're not gonna like everyone. But that doesn't mean we abused one another or made one another's life a living hell. If you're thinking about ETL (Enemies To Lovers) in the context of the Enemy being this ruthless tyrant who tears down the MC at every opportunity, ruins their life, and overall makes the MC severely harmed from their actions: yes, that is abuse. THAT relationship would be proship.

But that's what I call BookTok ETL, cause BookTok is where it's most normalized (and let's be fr, they normalize proship stuff ALL THE TIME). BookTok ETL is specifically different from general ETL cause most interpretations of the trope are written by people who know there's a line between flirty angry banter and actual harmful interactions. Any sane person who loves the trope will tell you there's definitely a limit and that it becomes gross and uncomfortable when that line is crossed.

And, what I find important to emphasize: every trope CAN be toxic if done wrong. Childhood Friends to Lovers can be unhealthy if the childhood friend in question is a thoughtless shitbag and torments the MC. Coffee Shop AUs can be toxic if it's someone harassing an essential service worker the whole time. I've experienced media that's made me love tropes I usually don't care for just as much as I've seen media do a trope I love so badly that the relationship is a cesspit mess that I wouldn't ever dream of supporting.

My point here is judging a general and inherently harmless trope just based off of the idea that it could sometimes maybe be portrayed as toxic, doesn't mean the trope is on principal bad/toxic/gross. "But what about hero x villain?"— same rules apply. If Villain is terrorizing Hero or the ones they love so badly that it gives Hero trauma or deeply negatively impacts them in a scarring way, that is abuse and no one should argue that it isn't. But the trope can also be lighthearted and sweet, depending on the way it's handled.

Now onto my second portion:

What is a strawman?

A strawman is directly defined as "an intentionally misrepresented proposition that is set up because it is easier to defeat than an opponent's real argument". The very question of attributing harmless tropes to abuse romanticizing proshippers is a strawman. An argument that's meant to seem like a "HAHA GOTCHA" to people who don't sit and think for more than two seconds on how you're literally grasping at straws. This ties into a common trend of proshippers trying to worm their way into everything.

Let me be blunt: proshippers did NOT and never have invented shipping, selfshipping, fandoms, or anything of the like. They like saying that as an imaginary "gotcha" card to the rest of us, just claiming with zero proof or evidence to have invented online spaces because that's easier to argue over than the fact that they're supporting actually disgusting things. 9/10 they just wanna piss people off and then flood them with harassment when the person points out the obvious holes in their argument (pretty ironic coming from the "we don't support harassment!" crowd by the way)

So, to reiterate and be as clear as possible; no, enemies to lovers and hero x villain aren't proship. They can BECOME proship if specific portrayals are done in a very toxic way that make the relationship abusive, but any trope can be represented horribly, so no it does not automatically mean the trope as a concept is proship. Claiming it is is a strawman argument largely used by proshippers because they're deflecting from what they're actually doing wrong and trying to grasp at straws to "epically own the stupid antis" or something like that

Ty for reading

[synoname-wordsmith]

Ice cold lips and burning touch: opla Sanji x gn!reader

A/n: I was definitely projecting with this one

Warning: making out, talking about sex, drowning, scars, body image issues, panic attack... let me know if I missed any

it was a milder than normal day as you and Luffy wasted time on the deck. it had been a while since the ship had docked, and you both were feeling a little stir crazy. you tried to occupy yourself, but the card game you started was quickly abandoned for classic Luffy antics and lighthearted competitions.

"i bet," Luffy shouted from the crow stand above, "i can jump from here to the Jolly Rodger, swing around and land right beside the tangerine trees"

"You are crazy!" you responded with a laugh "get down before i have to put you in a full body cast" Luffy just shook his head and you watched as he backed up until his back met with the edge of the look-out. He then took off running despite your protests. you watched as he leaped over the railing and stretched his arms towards the flag pole. He grasped on, but as he swung around, you heard a sickening snap, and your blood ran cold. the pole broke off, and Luffy was launched overboard.

you screamed his name and ran to the back of the boat. your body moved before you could think, and you launched yourself in after him.

the water engulfed you in a moment, and the icy temperature was a shock to your system. you focused and swam to the surface sucking in a quick breath while scanning the surface of the water. seeing only the straw hat bobbing with the waves you moved as fast as you could manage. your lungs already burned, and every muscle in your body screamed in protest as you grabbed the hat and dived back below. it was pitch black, you couldn't see anything around you. you focused your energy on both your hands, moved them into a prayer position, and, as you pulled them apart, watched as light beamed out of your left palm. using it like a lantern, you looked around for any sign of Luffy. you spotted him below and dived farther from the surface.

you reached Luffy, wrapped your arms around his waist, and kicked your legs hard against the water, making the journey back up. your legs felt like fire as you broke the surface again and fought to keep both you and Luffy above the water. you focused your energy again, begging that you weren't too tired to conjure a little more magic. you shifted Luffy to your left side and began moving your now free right hand in a circular motion. the water around you began to spin in time with your movements, and after a moment, you pulled your hand up and towards the ship. The water moved as if obeying your command, and you felt yourself being lifted into the air and then launched forward. you and Luffy flew up and towards the boat, both landing hard against the wooden deck. the momentum caused you to let go of him as you rolled along the floor and stopped once you collided with a barrel.

you slowly tried to move from your back to your hands and knees. you gasped for the air that was knocked out of you, willing your vision to stop spinning. you made your way to your feet and clumsily stumbled to where Luffy was still lying on the ground. falling to your knees again, you felt strong arms wrap around you and support you, Sanji, you assumed.

"move" you croaked out to Nami, who was attempting CPR on your captain. she did and you leaned in closer to him. placing your hand on his chest, you closed your eyes and tried to sense the water in his lungs. once found you repeated the motion from before and watched as water was pulled from Luffy's parted lips. He began to sputter and cough as you felt your entire body relax. after catching his breath, Luffy sat up and launched himself towards you.

"That was amazing! you are the best sorcerer on the sea!" his arms wrapped around your shoulders and held you in a crushing hug. you laughed, letting the relief rush through your body.

"i doubt that kid, but i'm glad i was competent enough not to let you die"

"More than competent!" he declared with a smile as he made his way to his feet. you mimicked his action and stood up also.

once on your feet, you acknowledged Sanji, feeling an arm snake around you again. you leaned into his side as he kissed the top of your head.

"Are you feeling okay, love?" You mumbled a response, burrowing your body deeper into his side. you turned to look at your captain again, and this time, Usopp spoke.

"Luffy your lips are turning blue, both of you actually, you guys look icicles" you hadn't realized how cold you were until that moment but once aware of it, you couldn't ignore the chill in your body. Sanji looked down at you again, wrapping his other arm around you.

"You need a hot bath love, come i'll get it started." You felt panic crawl up your throat as you responded too quickly.

"No!" You adjusted your tone and pulled away. "No, I'm capable of doing it, plus Luffy probably worked up an appetite, you should assist him," you laughed nervously. Sanji gave you a look but didn't have time to respond because Luffy was on him in a second demanding a feast fit for a king. you were grateful the focus had shifted and turned to walk towards the bathroom. you didn't make it far when everything started spinning, and you felt yourself stumble off balance. Sanji again grabbed you and pulled you into him.

"You pushed yourself too hard dear, let me help you." panic started surfacing again, but before you could conjure a valid excuse, Nami interjected.

"i'll help her, Sanji, dont worry. go make Luffy something so he shuts up." Sanji looked apprehensive, but let Nami take you by the waist and help you towards the bath. himself being pulled towards the kitchen by a shouting Luffy.

*****

the door of the bathroom closed, and Nami set you down on a chair. you felt your body sink into it as you closed your eyes again. you would never admit how much energy it really took to focus and control the magic that flowed through you, especially if the energy source was your own chakras. usually, you could sustain it longer from pulling energy from sources around you, the more organic the more effective, but you managed what you could in this instance.

you inhaled the scent of herbs and oils as steam fogged the room.

"Ready when you are," Nami spoke, and you opened your eyes. you got up and undressed, subconsciously moving your gaze away from the mirror in the corner. you slipped under the hot water and audibly sighed.

"Do you want help with your hair, or can you manage?" You assured her you could, but instead of leaving, she sat in the seat you just occupied. "i have a feeling Sanji would have my head if i didn't stay and make sure you don't drown." You laughed and started working shampoo through your knotted hair. moving quickly to the conditioner when Nami spoke again.

"Speaking of Sanji, why isn't he in here with you instead of me?" You froze for a moment, then sighed, moving your hands from your hair to wrap around your knees, now pulled into your chest.

"He hasn't seen me naked yet." You looked down at your hands in the water. Nami cocked an eyebrow.

"So you haven't told him about the scars... at all?" You didn't answer. "i thought you were getting past hating them." You looked up and turned to her.

"it's not that i hate them, its just if he sees them, hes gonna want to talk about them and i don't want to relive the memories, all the horrible things i did" Nami sighed this time and came to kneel beside you.

"i know you know this, and i know i've said it before, but nothing you did was in your control. and the scars dont take away from your beauty. and i strongly believe Sanji will hold the same opinion." You half smiled, knowing she was probably right. Sanji adored you, and your relationship was stronger than a few reminders of haunting memories. "Also, how has he not seen you naked? don't you guys go at it like rabbits?" You genuinely laughed at that.

"Up until now, it's just been rendezvous in storage closets and empty rooms. we haven't had proper in a bed sex yet. felt too intimate for friends with benefits. " Nami hummed a response, and the conversation shifted to lighter topics as you finished up in the bath.

***

you had resolved yourself to talk with Sanji, but ultimately lost your nerve and found yourself in your room after supper, occupying your time with a book. the sun had set beyond the horizon when there was a knock at your door.

"Come in." The door opened, and Sanji entered.

"How are you feeling, love?"

"better, the hot bath and food helped." Sanji moved to sit against the backboard of your bed.

"Good," he gestured to him. you obliged and sat beside him, leaning into his side. "You gave us all quite the scare today." You took his hand and intertwined your fingers.

"By us, do you mean you?" you asked with a smirk, kissing his shoulder.

"Maybe," he kissed the top of your head, then connected his lips to yours. the kiss was soft and sweet, and you turned your body towards him. he deepened the kiss and became hungrier as his arms grabbed under your ass and pulled you onto his lap. now, straddling him, you kissed from his lips to his jaw and down his neck. licking and sucking your way down the exposed skin of his partially unbuttoned shirt. you moved back up, and he grabbed your face with both his hands when your lips met again. moving your hands to his hair, you allowed his tongue access when he ran it along your bottom lip. as your tongues fought for dominance, Sanji moved his hands down to your hips, slipping his hands under your robe to squeeze at the skin. he made a move to untie the robe, and you froze without thinking your hand shot down to stop his movements.

"baby its okay." he kissed you again and tried to move his hand to the knot again. You again stopped him. he pulled away from you. "Hey, is everything okay?" he moved his hands to your shoulders. you looked away, embarrassed, but he guided your face back to his with a hand. "we only have to go as far as you are comfortable hun'." he stroked your cheekbone with his thumb. you closed your eyes and tried to swallow your embarrassment.

"im sorry" you whispered, turning to kiss his hand.

"Nothing to apologize for. i'm just trying to understand." You leaned forward and burrowed your face in the nape of his neck. he smelled like sage and cigarettes. "Are you self-conscious? i noticed your reaction back on the deck. Are you afraid i will judge you?" You shook your head and dug your face deeper in, as if if you could dig deep enough you could hide from the embarrassment. he wrapped his arms around you. "Then what, dear?"

"i dont really want to talk about it"

"Love, we gotta talk about it." You didn't respond. he sighed and started rubbing a hand up and down your back "you are the most amazing, beautiful, kind person i know and nothing you are about to say will change that, love" something in you snapped in that moment, his kind words felt false. a compliment you couldn't accept, not with the history you had. you scoffed and untangled yourself from him, getting off the bed and standing in the middle of the room. "i dont understand how you dont see it too. Everyone on this crew adores you"

you felt a hot anger bubble in you, anger at how genuine he was, at how you couldn't accept the sweet words and anger that you felt this way at all. that you couldn't be logical and get past the disdain for the scars. the constant reminder of your past.

"You want to know!" You snapped, your voice harsh and cold. you untied the robe and let it fall to the floor now standing in just your underwear. for the first time, you had revealed yourself to Sanji, all of you, including the scars littered across your skin. from your ankles to your collarbones, your body was covered with scars, some deeper and larger than others. the most concentrated across your back. "You see this? you see how ugly this is?" Your voice rose as you gestured to yourself."Every single one of these scars i got by threatening, stealing from, and killing innocent people. i've ruined lives, Sanji, i've destroyed families. " You stopped shouting, and a deep grief washed over you. tightening your throat and flooding your eyes with tears. "when i look in the mirror, all i see is them, their terrified faces" you turned to the mirror in the corner to emphasize your point and the tears almost immediately began to fall down your face.

you could see Sanji's reflection, he didnt say anything, and he didn't move a muscle. the expression on his face was hard to read through your tears, but you assumed it was disgust. you couldn't think of anything else it could be. you began to cry harder until sobs racked your body, and your face fell into your hands. that's when Sanji finally moved.

he got up quickly and moved in front of you, wrapping his arms around your shaking figure. you knees buckled, and Sanji gently guided you to the floor. he pulled you into his lap and held you in a strong grip and let you sob into his shirt. he held you while your shallow, panicked breathing slowed, and you became quiet. you held your face against Sanji's shoulder and made no effort to move for what felt like an eternity. if you looked up, you would have to face reality, face whatever disgust Sanji held for you.

he guided your face up with his fingers, and you adverted your eyes. Sanji adjusted himself to sit behind you. you both faced the mirror now, you sitting in front of Sanji, who had his legs on either side of yours and rested his hands on your shoulders.

"Look at me, love." Your eyes found his face through the reflection, and he was looking right at you. "When i look at you, all i see is a survivor. i see a strong, smart person who did what they had to do to survive." he leaned down and kissed a scar on your left shoulder. "Who was stolen from their home and put in an impossible position." he kissed another scar. "someone who was taken advantage of by bad people and who ultimately fought for their own freedom" kiss. "someone who is beautiful not despite the scars, but because the scars tell your story. and that story is not of a murderer, but of a survivor"

the tears started streaming down your face again, and you tried to cover it with your hands, but Sanji stopped you. He turned you to face him and took your hands in both of his, kissing small scars on your palms, then took your face in his hands, wiping tears as they fell. "i understand why you feel the way you do, and i understand it will take time for you to see yourself the way i do, but i will work everyday for the rest of my life if i have to, to prove to you that you are worthy and beautiful and so deserving of good things" you let out a shaky laugh of disbelief and wrapped your arms around Sanji's neck. you couldn't believe you met someone as wonderful as him in such a cruel world, but as you sat there with his strong arms holding you and him whispering sweet nothings to you, you started believe his words. for the first time, you believed you might be worthy of something more

[aethon-recs]

HP Rec Fest, Day 30 ❄️

Happy new year!! This is the last post for the @hprecfest daily prompts for which I'll be reccing fic, so the complete list of Tomarrymort daily recs for this month is listed in its entirety below! The 31st prompt is "a fav amongst favs", which I am physically incapable of narrowing down to a handful of fics, so I'll just end on Day 30 🤍

Thank you to the fest mods for suggesting such lovely prompts and running such a well-organized fest — what a great idea to celebrate the fantastic writing found in this fandom, and I found myself with tons of great new fics to read, particularly in other ships and rarepairs that I would have never come across otherwise!

*

Day 30: A Pre-Canon Fic

Reconciling with Death by Madame_Psychosis (M, 26k, complete)

Summary: Featuring a dead girl in a forest, little-soldier-boys, some tenuous grasps on reality, straw mothers, a ghost in a bathroom and, slowly and sadly, kindness from a boy who’s just passing through time. Why I rec it for this prompt: A really unique take on Harry travelling back in time to 1941 to Tom's school days. I love the non-linear style that this fic is written in, which really enhances the build-up of the murder mystery and all the psychological suspense.

*

Animus, Anima by @maiathoustra (M, 145k, complete)

Summary: In limbo, Harry doesn't choose to go back to the Forbidden Forest to face Voldemort. He makes another decision and finds himself in a baby's body: little Tom Riddle. Years pass that intimately bind the orphan and his imaginary friend into a hopeless and incestuous relationship. Indeed, all the odd events of Tom Riddle's life happen in spite of Harry's presence: could he be the one who provokes them? Why I rec it for this prompt: Another unique take on Harry being sent back in time, this time as a disembodied voice in Tom's head as the most important part of his journey from childhood to when he becomes Lord Voldemort. An incredible exploration on what it means for two souls to love each other so intensely, and the ending is absolutely gutting in a beautiful way. Definitely have tissues on hand for this long, beautiful, angsty read!

*

HP rec fest December recs:

Day 1: Favorite under 5k | Such a Noble Villain Day 2: Comfort Fic | In Somno Veritas | Ouroboros Day 3: Podfic | a taste so good (i'd die for it) Day 4: Fic with Art | A Soulmate Like You Day 5: A Non-AO3 Fic | The Anti-Midas Day 6: Unreliable Narrator Fic | Anabiosis Day 7: A Canon-Compliant Fic | In Your Soul is Sealed a Pleasure Day 8: A Canon-Divergence Fic | Thirst Day 9: A Rare Pair Fic | dust in your pocket | A Breed Apart Day 10: A Fest Fic | In Your Image Day 11: A Dark Fic | As Portioned from a Whole Day 12: A WIP Rec | Lover's Spit | Revolution of Configured Stars Day 13: A Fic >100k Words | One Year In Every Ten | if we were lovers Day 14: A Favorite Series | The Immortal Duties of Lord Voldemort Day 15: The Most Recent Bookmark | Creatures of the Dark we are Day 16: A Fic that Made You Laugh | Make a Wish | Do You Want Fries with That? Day 17: A Fic that Made You Cry | We Still Have Time Day 18: A Fairy Tale-Inspired Fic | Until Midnight Comes  Day 19: Fic with the Hottest Smut | Prison Blues Day 20: A Fic Rated 'G' | Fingers Crossed Day 21: A Thought-Provoking Fic | on the other side Day 22: An Unfinished Fic | In Death, Standby Day 23: A Soulmate Fic | the demiurge, the leontoeides Day 24: A Holiday Fic | A Sky Full of Stars Day 25: A Fic Rated 'T' | Accidents happen Day 26: A Fic with a Memorable Ending | i’ve missed you, my boy Day 27: A Muggle AU Fic | found Day 28: An Underrated Fic | your love is like rhinestones (falling from the sky) Day 29: A Post-Canon Fic | The Other Path Day 30: A Pre-Canon Fic | Reconciling with Death | Animus, Anima

[danger-days-confessions]

psst... everyone

maybe, just maybe, you should let people have their headcanons. to each their own.

you like your jet star a poc? great! this guy draws him white? cool, this can also exist!

you like your party poison nonbinary? fantastic and just as valid as the next guys who thinks they're actually transmasc.

you think party and kobra are brothers? go for it! i don't want to tie them to their actors, and to me they aren't.

you like your ghoul a crazy asshole? cool! but please be nice to that person that headcanons him as a silly guy with autism.

and also many other things i didn't include. i'm genuinely tired of the negativity here and it's been less than two days since i have found this blog. the race & gender debates and pseudo-incest (this thing is not real by the way, you're grasping at straws to make accusations stick just bc you don't like the ship) accusations are too much. you end up looking racist, sexist, sometimes transphobic even without intending to do so, and you definitely gatekeep too much for people in a fandom in which there's actually not that much info about many, if not most of the characters, especially the fab four.

.

[nikethestatue]

if Az and Gwyn are mates because of 'music language' (which has been used for mates, as imagery), then logic would have it Nesta and Gwyn would also have to be mates, because pretty much the same interaction happened with her and Gwyn in acosf. There's music language because Gwyn is literally singing. its not a metaphor for anything. It's not imagery when it comes for Az and Gwyn or Nesta and Gwyn. It's just descriptive.

you're so right about people needing to reread acosf. I did recently and even though I already knew this fandom is insane, my reread reminded me its even more insane than I remembered. The idea of Az and Gwyn being mates or having any relationship to speak of, even as platonic friends, is a fucking joke. i cannot believe how these people have bullied and chased people out of this fandom over their fanon. its actually insane. Imagine how fun this fandom could be... but we can't have any of that, can we. Because sparky spark in a bonus chapter and people went insane, grasping at straws for anything that isn't Elain ending up with Az. Which she will, of course. And all of their efforts to bully everyone and their mother to accept that fanon is canon will have been for absolute fucking nothing.

Yeah, if they are supposedly mates, since Sangravah, no less, then why is she badgering him about singing and can you sing and are you a singer since supposedly they experienced this music of the souls! Wouldn't her song sing to his song? Why, as his mate wouldn't she know basic info about him?

Also, if they were mates since Sangravah, why is he lusting after other chicks?

And they became mates in the Bonus (lol) then is he mates with Clotho? Because all other matings took place face to face.

Yeah, I think after this long, no one actually remembers what's in the book(s). Except for conveniently highlighted things that they use to prop up a ship. Goes for all parties, actually.

But simply rereading it without any agenda, and I wasn't looking for anything related to any ships, it definitely offers a new perspective.

What I noticed is: Gwyrniel is absurd. Elain is fairly mean and steely. Nesta is totally obsessed with Cassian. Cassian would easily die for Nesta. The Valkyrie friendship is actually kind of very emotional and beautiful. Emerie is an MVP.

[parkminijiminie]

First of all, welcome back!!! I missed you so much!! Your blog is a gem!!! -and are you gonna be back permanently or are you taking another break? Second of all, I haven’t watched the travel show but I saw a lot of clips and honestly, they just seem like friends. Yeah there is some moments where you’re like wow wtf is going on here but if u look at it from a different lense, it seems like friends enjoying time together because of them were busy with their own lives. I also didn’t expect jungkook’s personality to be like that. Obviously idk him in real life so I can’t really know how he acts in real life but idk he just seems weird? But I don’t think there is anything between them. Most jikookers were excited for this how because it was gonna prove that they are in a relationship but honestly they are just grasping at straws at this point, and so am I guess. All the big fandoms had band members ships like on direction and many kpop fandoms ship two members on the group too like winter and Karina from aespa although she was dating that actor💀 and finally I would just like to say that jk was hanging out with tae more than jimin although I think that jk’s friendship with tar isn’t really anything special except for bros having fun but yeah, seems weird. Sorry my thoughts are all over the place lol.

Hi! I am sort of back. I lurk around and react when I have the need to discuss smth with other people. Otherwise, I just long on and read what other people are saying. I think I will never be active full time because I simply don't have the time, but I love this space a lot, so I'll never really leave either.

To me, JM and JK look so far as people who were once a romantic item but no longer are, but remained in each other's lives just more distantly. The whole show looks to me like them, trying to deepen their bond and friendship again. I think during the time the US episodes were filmed, they were both single and probably spending the most 1:1 time for months, so some of their usual old tendencies resurfaced, like old habits. I am very curious to see the other episodes. I know lots of people are waiting for the show to give answers about the nature of Jikook's relationship, but I don't think we will get them but we could at least maybe see that made them enlist together after barely spending time alone in the beginning of the year.

JK definitely spent a lot more time with Tae in 2023 compared to previous years, but I don't think their relationship is especially deep. They're buddies and share similar interests. They were also free at similar times, but I'm not sure there is any deep emotional connection there. The fact that JK called Tae definitely surprised me, but then we all saw how rudely JK hung up on him. I'm finding it hard to say where JK's head was in the first half of 2023, and I sort of can't really connect to JK of Jan-July 2023 like I did in the past. It seems to me he was very determined to be this cool, successful man at that time. It's also interesting that JM didn't spend time with neither him nor Tae up until July last year. That's also unusual.

Shipping aside, these two episodes really made me appreciate JM even more. I've always known how gracious and sweet he is, but he was such a good sport even when very sick, so appreciative, mature, yet fun and light and emotionally present. My standards when it comes to him are always high, and he somehow always manages to surpass them. I think he would be a great influence on anyone, and he especially well balances JK. It's sort of sad how I am already seeing people using JK's words to attack JM when Jimin was such a supportive friend for JK during this whole trip. I appreciate JK saying he is "obviously grateful" that Jimin came. Maybe he already had told that to JM many times, but it was important for the audience to hear it as well, considering how JM gets hate for "forcing JK to go on the trip" 🙄

[duckiemimi]

If we go by anons definition that stsg are canonically platonic, then same can be said for the rest of the so called hypothetical popular jjk ships even if most of them are questionable when it comes to them being realistic within the story conference. such as gojo with utahime for example or shoko with gojo and there's many many more i could list.

the thing is however that stsg have so much evidence when it comes to them becoming more than best friends OR they can simply be both? I don't get why often times having feelings for a best friend is deemed so wrong by majority of fans regardless which character it may be. what's annoying though is that if it was gojo with a female character in the SAME dynamic then nobody would ever question their attraction. and this brings me to his dynamic with Utahime that is more often than not romanticized because of the popular bickering couple troupe or however it's called idk. try to explain that a woman simply cannot like a man and you will be attacked and called names, or say that a man simply doesn't care for a woman on a more personal level other than getting the rise out of her because she's unintentionally feeding his antics.

just to clarify idc what people ship it's really a free real estate but when it comes to grasping at single straw to try and justify ships canonicity just so they can have a chance in a story that is clearly not building up for them, then that's where I'd suggest drawing the line between a headcanon that people like to consider as a fact and the actual material and a subtext and context. but argue how stsg will only ever be platonic and that shipping them is wrong because they're best friends.

psa, this is just my few cents, going off from what anon said previously i just thought about this weird hypocritical view some of the fans have.

oh, of course! that last anon was responding to this answer of mine, which pretty much agrees with everything you said! the thing is, the threshold for evidence for canonicity is different for straight ships and queer ships. i’ve gotten tired of barking to make my point, knowing how subjective romantic subtext can lean. or i guess romance in general (especially since most portrayals hinge on heteronormativity). alas…but i mean, if director park has said something about them, perhaps gege will, too, maybe as a fleeting comment after the end of the series!

[a-larry-retrospective-blog]

When I say "Louis Tomlinson haunting the Haylor narrative is my favourite genre" I need people to know that I mean it. And I mean it when I say the dude HAUNTS the Haylor narrative, like he's the ghost of Christmas past; there are so many examples of it, but my absolute favourite is the compass, because it's just... So much.

So. H got the ship, right? At the peak of Haylor, when they were the IT couple everybody knew (which. Isn't it ironic that then Mr Styles spent the consequent... 5 years of songwriting? Or something?, talking about a relationship that was mostly secret? And everyone was like "this is about TS"? Anyway).

And the thing is. The thing is. The Haylor narrative had always been hilarious to me bc they truly did The Most. Honestly, no one did as much as those two pr teams combined did to make a relationship believable, and no one did such an AWFUL job (with the exception of hiddleswift, which was more tongue-in-cheek and self-aware anyway) in the history of pr relationships. Their story was so backwards and convoluted it doesn't even sound like they proofread the blurb of the narrative they were going to put out. I'm sure miss Tree is still having nightmares about it twelve years down the line and she wasn't even involved.

And I truly truthfully love how they both embraced it completely. Like, miss swift does her little thing where she'll write a song about someone, and sometimes she'll be very tongue-in-cheek about it, but nowhere she did it as much as she did with Harry, and H was Definitely up for the challenge, considering he named a whole ass track 'Trouble' and the nonsensical mentions of 'thirteen' just for the fun of it.

They had their fun building a narrative from scratch and I love that for them!

Because there is no fucking way IKYWT is for Harry. Like. It's 2024, I hope we all know that song was not for harry and I'm sure HE knew the song had nothing to do with him, but by god did they TRY to convince us of the contrary.

Did it make sense timeline-wise? Absolutely not, even if you try to grasp at straws, but oh, did they try.

Now, I'm sure we all remember the VMAs, highlight of my career, cameras panning to Harry absolutely unbothered, moisturised, clapping and chewing his gum as Miss Swift dedicated the award to the person who inspired the song, all while our homeboy was seething with passive-aggressiveness (dude didn't even clap! Their one-sided feud gives me life). Truly L was one with the larries in being a Haylor anti.

But we're not here to discuss that.

Because at least by then TS and H had broken up and it made some modicum of sense for her to be dedicating a song about a failed relationship to him. I mean, it made no sense to think she had written it with Harry in mind (Red was made while they maybe had seen each other once, not to mention it's famously about another relationship), much less to think she had made the video with him in mind (they were off gallivanting together! Why the fuck would she make a video like that about him). But that's the narrative that was circulating! And the funniest part is: the ship was used as evidence.

I'm sorry if I bring back some unwanted memories, but this is like. My absolute favourite thing. No headline has headlined the way this headline headlined. Notice that the ink was basically still fresh on the lovely boat (six fucking am in the morning, L hadn't even done his yet i think) and they were already putting out feelers so that H's tattoo would be linked to the video, which would link him to the song.

I'm not even saying he couldn't have been influenced by that tattoo (maybe he saw it and thought it was a cool idea), but you do see how "the removable tattoo a guy had for the music video about a sad song my gf wrote" is so far removed from "romantic tattoo idea to remember said gf" it would almost be insulting? They didn't care. They were doing The Absolute Most in pr terms, and it didn't even work!

Because, like a real presence haunting the narrative, Louis Tomlinson got the fucking compass that very same day. He truly was like "did you think this was about his fling with Blondie? Think again!" and that? That is so lovely to me. That is such a good way to haunt and counteract the narrative. Nothing will ever beat that and I'm grateful I got to witness it.

[almostangrything]

So, I just finished reading Amulet.

Small rant, feel free to skip, cuz I'm expressing my distaste for a ship.

So, Triva. In the series, Riva is set up as Trellis' love interest. I have a few concerns with this, and one of my main reasons that I dislike this ship is because I ship Tremily more. Now, Triva has the capacity to be a nice ship. It's just not my cup of tea, and for multiple reasons. For starters, I've always viewed their relationship as more of a sibling one. Riva sometimes acts like Trellis' older sister, and Trellis certainly seems to think of her as a sister/good friend. I also don't think it's definitely canon. Might be grasping at straws, but still.

I know Riva says she has that vision, but, and correct me if I'm wrong, she's never been shown before to have any psychic abilities. Her vision was probably a daydream or dream, and although she says it's about Trellis, she might have just substituted him in bc she needs a family. And as for the kid we see her carrying in the end of Waverider, I don't think she would have had a baby so soon, bc that was not nine months. She probably found him and adopted him (also for the two kids in the vision, I like to imagine that they're Riva's adopted kids, and Trellis gets to be the cool uncle. Emily is the wine aunt who drops in occasionally to give them amazing life advice, help them learn how to do or evade taxes, and give them harmonicas).

Onto my bigger reason for why I dislike this ship. Trellis is confirmed to be the elf equivalent of 16. The war began when Riva was a teenager, which was easily at least 30-50 years ago. I know elves age slowly, but she's mayor of Lucien. How many teenagers are mayor of a whole city? She's definitely already a grown adult, and while I'm not going to hate people for shipping them, I find the ship a little discomforting.

I think that's everything. If you stuck around this long and want to discuss Amulet, or Triva/Tremily and other ships, you can use this post or send me an ask, and my message box is always open! But please don't send hate, these are just my opinions.

[onigiri-dorkk]

Hi I'm new to the fandom and not gonna lie for a long time I was confused about why would anyone ship Rivamika because it always seemed like Levi was barely aware of Mikasa and Mikasa hated Levi or disliked him. I started reading the manga last week and I'm honestly surprised by how little changes made a huge different. WIT always made it seem like Mikasa didn't care about anyone other than Ereh and I believe they are the reason why everyone makes fun of Mikasa for being obsessed. I genuinely thought "I love her but she's very ungrateful and rude sometimes, their strongest soldier hurt his ankle when they needed him the most because of her and all she cared about is Ereh" but it's not like that in the manga. She actually feels guilty and responsible which is a great panel to show how character development. A 3 seconds scene would do so much good to Mikasa's character but WIT somehow didn't want to include that scene. Even in S3 it seemed like they would like to keep them apart and don't let them interact even though there was a huge reveal about them. And I think it's not only WIT. Even Isayama himself is almost afraid to let them interact and I'm not talking about shipping here. Imagine finding out that someone experienced the same things as you did, have this weird mysterious power thing going on and that person is your Captain whom you made it clear that you trust and respect now. It's crazy to me that they don't even talk and compare their experiences etc???? Again, it's not even about shipping, it pisse me off because it feels like Mikasa isn't allowed to have anything of her own, the reason why Mikasa ships aren't popular isn't because she's not loved, it's because Isayama, WIT and even Mappa didn't let her have many meaningful interactions. Hell, even with Armin (they are supposed to be a trio) it sometimes feel like they were just hanging out for Eren. Ughhh they could at least let Mikasa have Ackermans for her own. She could interact more with Levi and even with Kenny for a sec. So disappointing :(

Wow!! Anon, welcome to the fandom and thanks for sending this! I never get asks and it’s always exciting 😂 We’re glad you’re here!

The “I didn’t get how people shipped rivamika” thing is common tbh, don’t worry! I was on that train too until I stopped to think about everything implied between the lines—most of it being in the manga, as you said. I know people say things like we ‘grasp at straws’ but there is realistically fantastic depth we can assume from their closeness as comrades alone. The magic of Rivamika as a ship is it takes more deep knowledge of the characters to understand why it WORKS so well. And when you get it, gosh, it’s amazing!

We definitely agree too, that WIT cut such crucial scenes to Mikasa’s character. I will never understand their choices… And I’ll forever grieve it 😭 That scene of self-reflection and guilt over Levi’s injury/absence is important because it’s the first time she finally thought outside of her tunnel vision of Eren. Ultimately, she learns to care about what happens to others as a result of her actions, which quite literally starts with Levi.

I also agree, it seems like Yams started the Ackerman reveal + arc but decided midway not to commit to it or develop it. It explained their strength, but that was it. It’s strange that even in the anime they chose not to explain that Ackerman’s are Titan DNA hybrids. That seems like a crucial piece but I wonder why they didn’t think it was important. Because then the whole “Ackerman’s are immune to x and x” has no narrative proof at all.

I like to think Ackertalk happened behind the scenes. I like reading everyone’s versions of it—but always a shame we never got that in canon. It’s even strange because they both lost their entire families, so finding out you’re from the same people should at least create a sense of bonding or they’d take on a slightly familial role, or SOMETHING. (Though I’m glad it didn’t go that route because people would REALLY think they’re cOuSiNs lol) But it’s just strange Yams introduced these things that ended up really having not much purpose, or none at all. (Don’t get me started on the Azumabito shit)

I still hope and manifest for some sort of Ackerman spin off that explores this. Can you imagine? Levi and Mikasa (the cash cows of AOT, we say!) venturing off post-war to discover more about the Ackerman’s? Or to retrace and find surviving Ackerman’s outside the world?

[atla-confessions]

why do zutara shippers grasp at straws so much to insist their ship is somehow canon or plausible? like guys!! it’s ok if it isn’t!! in fact that’s what makes it fun!! always been an enjoyer of a lot of definitely not canon/implausible ships and that doesn’t take my enjoyment of it away at all, aaand that’s how it should be tbh this is all just for fun at the end of the day

X

[binch-i-might-be]

i was just wondering, after seeing like all sorts of AUs for the Thin Ice Verse™, how would an AU where Alex came to America the way he did in the musical? pretty sure it'd change some things and i was just curious, especially for Gwash and Alex's relationship

ohhhh. oh oh oh

okay. this would be fascinating actually

well first of all, we would have to start at the beginning–Rachel's letter to Gwash. she would have definitely still sent it, because obviously she wanted at least one of her babies to have a good life. now, why didn't he receive it?

I think the spiciest option we have here is that because he was deployed at the time and constantly on the move, it was delivered to Mount Vernon. where, perhaps, someone's despicable mother was temporarily residing due to heavy construction work on her own house?

yes I'm grasping at straws but let me have this: I propose Gwash never received Rachel's letter because his mother intercepted it and destroyed it. as far as she's concerned, there are zero (0) creole bastards muddying her bloodline, thank you very much.

so little eight year old Alex grew up having to fight for everything, without his Mama and without the man she had so confidently claimed would come for him.

until the hurricane hit and he lost everything again. until he could write himself on that ship to New York.

we are following the musical timeline so he meets John before he meets Gwash, and we all know how that goes haha.

now I don't think Alex knows his father's whole name. he was a child and delirious with illness, so even if Rachel told him Gwash's whole name, who knows if he would have remembered it. no, he knows two things about his father: his name is George, and he's a soldier.

okay. so Alex still takes his homies to liberate some british cannons, John and Alex smooch, word gets out about that weirdo artillery captain kid who keeps refusing to join Generals' staffs.

Gwash is intrigued. he summons the boy, and good God, he's young. their conversation goes basically like in Right Hand Man. Gwash thinks the boy looks familiar. he's glad to keep him off the field.

I think Alex is much more hesitant to trust, especially older men who have power over him–James Hamilton's influence has never been counteracted by a loving father, after all. Alex has been fending for himself for ten long years, and one thing that has very seldom been challenged is his belief that men shouldn't be easily trusted.

they spend a lot of time together though, and a good chunk of it alone with each other. George takes a quick liking to Alex; he reminds him a bit of himself when he was a boy, and he can see he's intelligent and fierce and passionate for their cause. but he's also young, and George gets the feeling that he hasn't been taken care of in a long time. his ever-bleeding heart can barely take that.

George is casually paternal to all his boys- his aides, he means. surely Alex won't reject his careful affection if he can see he's not being singled out out of some sort of pity?

and Alex, while he tries to tell himself that he doesn't need his General's affectionate, fatherly nicknames or his concern for his wellbeing- well. he can't deny that it is a bit. nice. just a little. (John might have had to take him by the shoulders and tell him "darling, he likes you. he likes all of us. it's not an insult, it's a good thing." before he was ready to accept that lmao)

the two of them grow closer over many late nights shared. George learns Alex is used to working to hard. he learns he's prone to frequent illness due to a bad childhood sickness (and even after Alex's countless reassurances that he can handle himself just fine, he can't help but worry. he's mind keeps drifting to his older brother. his daughter.)

George learns that Alex was born in the West Indies. he tells him oh, what a coincidence, he went down there for business once twenty years ago. Charlestown, actually.

George learns that Alex is from Charlestown. huh. they talk about the area, how it changed within the last two decades, and Alex comes to life, getting to talk about his home with someone who has seen it himself, who knows firsthand how beautiful it is. the beaches remind him of his Mama. he hesitantly tells George about this.

George is sympathetic. he doesn't know a lot about the boy's prior life, but he can concur that it wasn't an easy lot. he knows what it's like to lose someone important.

he thinks. maybe Alex needs to talk about her. as a way to remember. to make sure the details don't swim into each other and blur with the passing of time.

he asks what her name was.

"Rachel," Alex says, and George stops. Rachel. Rachel, and suddenly the boy's name, Hamilton, springs out at him–he hadn't thought anything of it when he'd first met him, it was common, a common name-

"Faucette?" he asks carefully, telling himself that it couldn't possibly be the same woman, that it, it wasn't, it couldn't have been-

and Alex stares at him from those wide dark eyes that seems so oddly familiar.

"you- you knew my mother?" he says meekly, so obviously hopeful, wanting someone who shares her memory, and oh George would love to be that for him, but he fears he's something else entirely.

"how old are you, Alex? when were you born?" he says instead of answering, and Alex's eyes widen more and more. he stumbles a step backwards, right into the edge of a desk. his hands shake when he raises them to cross his arms over his chest in a gesture so desperately protective, George wants to cry.

he swallows. "my mother said- before she died, she told me I wasn't her husband's son. she said my father was a soldier. from the colonies. she said his name was George."

and there it is.

George doesn't know what to do. he wants to take him into his arms, wants to hold the pitifully trembling boy, wants to feel his hair and cup his cheeks and trace a finger down his nose and across his brow and look at him and try to make sense of everything, but he remains where he stands.

Alex's arms draw tighter around himself. his eyes glint wetly in the candlelight.

"she said she wrote to him. she said he would come for me. take care of me."

and George's whole heart falls out of his chest.

"there- there was no letter," he says at once, wracking his brain to be entirely sure of something he knows with such certainty, but- perhaps he had missed it, somehow? perhaps his wife had-? it must have gotten lost, there was no way he would have disregarded a letter from Rachel. "dear boy, there was nothing, I- oh, if I had known, Alex, you must believe me, if I had known-"

he breaks off. there are no words across the span of all human languages that could communicate the depth of his emotion. his regret.

his boy. Alex is his boy. has been all along.

Alex sobs bitterly, and he is across the space to fold his child into his arms in an instant. the boy struggles for half a second before he melts into him and just cries.

George joins him.