#shes the biggest celebrity on the planet i get it

[lightscamerabitchsmileee]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Don Lemon (@donlemonofficial)

Okay can we like stop pressuring Taylor to endorse Kamala or really to take a side in this election in general??

The media is being incredibly nosey, pushy and annoying about Taylor being silent politically and always putting her in the headlines to get clicks like with all the speculation about her coming to the DNC for instance (like she was on tour that would make no sense) like I get shes the biggest celebrity on the planet but people like Don Lemon and other mainstream talking heads needs to shut the fuck up if she wants to support Kamala she will on her own accord not because Don is begging her to make a decision now (god he sounds pathetic and embarrassing on this Insta clip) and same goes for the Trump and the Republican idiots as well creating AI posters faking her endorsement to get clicks (I so hope he gets sued to oblivion for that) like this Taylor political hysteria is ridiculous and pathetic

Point is she don't have to endorse anyone it's none of anyone's business who she votes for and we all know she'll do the general reminder to register and vote regardless of party anyway which she's always done in the past and honestly the more appropriate thing to do. All I can say is if I was in her shoes right now I would be so uncomfortable with people begging me to endorse or choose a side like leave her alone let her enjoy her tour break lol

[seleneee12]

Lilith in synastry💋😈🔥💣

Lilith has been a big topic in Synastry lately.

Everyone gets so excited when they talk about a man’s Lilith conjunction to a woman’s inner planets. Lilith contacts create an intense sexual attraction in Synastry in general. I’ve noticed that women have an easier time and love their Lilith conjunct a man’s personal planets, but a man has a more difficult time when his Lilith is conjunct another’s woman’s personal planets. Men usually like when a woman’s personal planets oppose, square, or trine his Lilith. Ex: ( Liam Hemsworth’s Lilith is very closely conjunct Miley’s sun and moon). We see that even though he was magnetically attached to her for years, he couldn’t control her making him even ashamed of her and her persona. With rumors that he even cheated on her. Now he is with Gabrielle Brooks who has her sun and possibly her moon opposing his Lilith. Making the magnetic pull stronger and easier for him to handle. Another fictional example is the new movie “ The idea of you” in the movie Nicholas Galitzine character is obsessed with Anne Hathaway (I mean who wouldn’t lol). The chemistry in the movie is undeniable! Nicholas has his Lilith directly opposing Anne’s Sun and Venus. Chris Evan’s was the biggest bachelor. He dated Minka Kelly (his Lilith conjunct her moon) off and on for seven years and never married her. He dated Emmy Rossum (his Lilith conjunct her Venus) breaking things off after one year. When he met Alba Baptista he Married her after 2 years of dating (His Lilith is squaring her Venus trining her Sun). Another big example of a man’s Lilith in Synastry is Johnny Depp. His Lilith was conjunct Winona Ryders sun and Venus, his Lilith was also conjunct Kate Moss’s moon. He dated both of them breaking things off with both of them. Winona and Kate took the breakups really bad. He never intended to Marry either of them, with him breaking his engagement to Kate. Johnny Depp got his relationship Karma when he Met Amber Heard. Amber has her Lilith conjunct Johnny’s Venus, he cheated on Vanessa (his Lilith conjunct her ascendant) with Amber and then went on to marry her. Lilith in a woman’s chart isn’t always a home wrecker. When it comes to a woman’s Lilith, if she makes a direct conjunction with a man’s personal planets, especially his Venus. She has put him in a magnetic spell. This I’ve seen in many Synastry charts of long term married couples. This is because he loves her sexual lilithian nature, and embraces her wild femininity. Ex:( Taylor swift and Travis Kelsey, David Beckham and Victoria Beckham, Jessica alba and Cash Warren, Michael Fassbender and Alicia Vikander). There’s a lot more examples of this if you read many different celebrity couples charts.

In my own personal experience: my Fiancé and I have so many Lilith contacts in Synastry. It’s crazy. Our chemistry and sex life is off the charts. He has his Lilith opposing my Venus, moon, squaring my mars and Uranus, with a sextile to my ascendant. My Lilith is conjunct his Venus, Sun, Uranus, trining his moon. The sexual chem may also be do to our 8th house Synastry, with his mars, Pluto, and ascendant all conjunct in my 8th with my mars trining all 3. We broke up once but we never got over each other. He came back to me three weeks after the breakup, Now he asked me to marry him. Ooop! It might also be because he has his Eros and Juno conjunct my Venus, Moon, Eros, trining my ascendant. My Eros is also in his first house, but now I’m just bragging lol. Let me know if you want me to make an Eros and Juno in Synastry as well as 8th house overlay💕

[gl1tt3r-gutz-and-r0b0tz-sl]

'Why can't I be happy now....? I'm who I was always supposed to be..'

FTM starscream!

Here's my first entry into the Starscream week day 1! origin/ past. @starscreamweek

Here’s a bit of an info dump about Starscream’s origins in my AU, Transformers Oblivion:

Starchaser, now known as Starscream, was originally female. She was abandoned by her mother, like many others, and sent away to the slums of Cybertron. Abandoned sparklings usually end up being trafficked, used for target practice for the many gangs that have formed, or were forced into the Arena. The Arena is the largest, most brutal gladiator pit in the entire planet, and the sparklings lucky enough to survive just to be sent there, are trained to fight and kill. While the Arena is a place of fighting, many gambles are placed per match, to see who will live to fight again and climb the ranks. Starchaser and Arcee were both lucky enough to make it. Arcee excelled, being the youngest, and most violent fighter there, exhibiting cannibalistic qualities and actions. Starchaser is highly intelligent, using the environment around her to her advantage. Starchaser always felt off, it could've been the prejudice she received due to her optic color and sex when forged, or it could be that she was never satisfied when looking in her reflection.

Starchaser always wanted to protect Arcee, since that’s what Arcee does for her all the time. Even though Starchaser is bigger than her, she’d never be able to match her strength. One day, while both of them just turned 18 cycles old and both had won their matches, the duo meet an older Cybertronian male going by the name Megatron. He is one of the top patrons of the Arena and a reigning champion of the pit, in addition, he is one of Arcee’s biggest idols since she saw him fight. He offers them both a deal that neither can reject. He offers Arcee to train by him, to become one of his apprentices alongside a male a little older than the girls named Tarn. Megatron offers Starchaser with two opportunities. The first is that Starchaser is able to get an education if she accepts being enlisted in the future army Megatron is forming. The second is that he’s able to give her a body she finally will feel comfortable in, the body her spark was meant to reside in. Both accept, and in this comic, the last frame is the girl’s celebration for Starchaser once finding out about the University accepting her application. 

Starchaser studies to become a scientist, Arcee trains alongside Megatron. Both still keep in touch frequently, hanging out and goofing off whenever they get the chance. This goes on for at least seven cycles until the war finally broke out and everything went to ruin. Starchaser and Arcee were both brought into the base of the newly formed and strengthened Decepticon faction. Work was done to both of their bodies. Arcee got a more feminine frame, looking cuter to throw off opponents and Starchaser finally got the body she desired, a male, strong frame While operating on the two, Shockwave wiped both their memory banks. Arcee was wiped completely, her body only remembering her training and maneuvers, while Starchaser’s memory had gaps in it, where he couldn’t remember what his beloved, childhood ally looked like, but he knew he loved her dearly. The gaps in his memory, and the knowledge that Megatron had something to do with it, led Starscream to form an intense hatred against him. The reason Starscream wishes to become leader is to spare his fellow soldiers from their fates as he knows they were most likely wiped as well, and to regain his own memories when accessing all the files Shockwave and Soundwave have saved, hoping to find his own. 

In the comic above, Starscream breaks down not just by the reminder of not being himself when with who he loves, but by the fact that they both try to kill each other daily.

[partined]

Parasocial relationships with celebrities are insane but whats MORE insane is the babygirlification of f1 drivers as if they arent the biggest known whores on the planet. Coupled with the fact that they are ALL rich kids and most likely awful ppl irl even before they get into f1. But like going into a womans ig comments calling her a bop and ugly and a gold digger bc ur mad she was SEEN with a driver is wild. Regardless of how shitty she is as a person (racist, sexist, annoying lol) acting like Lando was somehow duped by this woman into dating her is braindead activity. Were talking about Lando “working class cosplayer” Norris, i think he knows, i think he doesnt care and if theyre dating , id say he probably thought it was funny lol

Like get a grip jfc

[kitnjon]

I would love if you could recommend some newer modern Jonsa fics!!!!

Hi anon, Sure! Some modern AU's I am reading/read this year

You tend the ash, and I’ll tend the pine by @eruherdiriel

“Are we really never gonna talk about it?” Arya snaps. “We’re all gonna pretend everything is normal and happy when Sansa just got divorced?” “Statistically, it is normal,” Bran says. “The divorce rate is something like—” “It’s not normal! Not for this family, and not for Sansa. True love, forever and always, that’s Sansa.” “Jon isn’t the person she married,” Catelyn chides. “Not anymore.” — Sansa and Jon get divorced, but fully untangling their lives is impossible.

2. all eyes on us by @theshipshipper

Sansa is one of the biggest popstars on the planet, Jon is among the top streamers in Westeros -- and the internet goes wild when their well-hidden connection is uncovered.

3. frozen pines by @cellsshapedlikestars

It hits Jon, then - the sharp smell of ozone. A scent that years ago, he’d become all too familiar with. The aftermath of a lightning strike, the burning of wires. Electricity heavy in the air. The hair on his arms still stands on end. The scar on his hand feels tight. His heart is still pounding. It’s just a storm coming, he tells himself. He’s in White Harbor, not Eastwatch. It’s just a storm. or, the Exclusion Zone spreads for the first time in almost fifty years, with Sansa trapped inside. Jon will do whatever it takes to get her out.

4. tell me, what's the perfect time? by @prclainivrysteel

"I'm Jon," he reaches out for a handshake, "I probably should've led with that." "Yeah, probably," she replies, fighting against the goofy-looking smile that threatens to take over her face, "I'm Sansa." She slips her hand into his. His fingers are calloused, but the way he touches her is gentle. The cold press of his rings sends a pleasant shudder down Sansa's body, making her toes tingle. Jon softly repeats her name. The tips of his ears are red, most likely from the chilly, September winds. He looks away for a brief moment, as if gathering his thoughts, before meeting her gaze once more. "That’s pretty."

5. how she died by @cellsshapedlikestars

She's buried on a cold, dreary day in late January. That’s all Jon can seem to think about at the funeral. It’s too cold, the sky is too grey. Bleak and barren; there isn’t even snow. It’s an inane, intrusive thought. It could rain, at least, he thinks. The sky should weep for her. The universe should mourn. It doesn’t make sense. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t understand why anyone would murder Sansa Stark.

6. i'm on fire by @cellsshapedlikestars

“Okay,” she says, voice shaking. “I’ll do it. I’ll order an escort.” “Are you sure?” Randa asks, eyes wide like she doesn’t think Sansa is. It only makes Sansa’s teeth grind together. “Yes, I’m sure,” she grits out. If Harry wants an open relationship, she’s going to give it to him.

7. trojan horse by @cellsshapedlikestars

He’s only known her for an hour, but he’s pretty sure he’s in love with her.

8. Attorney–Client Privilege by @kit-kat21

No one in her family had ever done this before. Her parents were true soulmates. Sansa hated to admit that she partially blamed them for giving her such high expectations of marriage and love. Her brother and his wife, Jeyne (Westerling), had just celebrated their twelfth wedding anniversary. None of her grandparents, aunts or uncles had ever been divorced. Sansa Stark was the first in her whole family to have this distinct honor. So there was no one she could ask for help or advice. When she told her parents that she wanted to file first, Ned and Catelyn did what they did with all of their children when one of them came to them. They dove right in and helped the best they could. Googling divorce lawyers seemed to be the only thing they could do and from there, they read reviews because just like restaurants and hair salons, divorce lawyers were online-reviewed, too.

9. snow angels by @kingsansa

He finds, as the hairs on the back of his neck rise, as his heart completely fucking nosedives, that her voice is lower than he remembers, but unmistakable all of the same. Sansa Stark stands in the hallway of his shitty, hole-in-the-wall, egregiously outdated bar; unmistakable.

10. Later Nights by @justadram

Her husband, Jon Snow, might be in his off-season--blessedly. But with the Summer Olympics around the corner, her late-night Olympic show producer, Tyrion Lannister, hasn't forgotten about the unlikely Team USA star and their recording-setting ratings in 2022. He has his sights set on a triumphant rematch between the newlyweds any way he can get it.

11. We Run the Gamut (Let's Run Away) by @hilarychuff

Boy and girl meet. Live parallel lives. And, one day, they start to come together. Scenes inspired by all the different types of love for the Jonsa Valentine's Day Event 2024.

12. Touch me, I’m going to scream by @eruherdiriel

He’s one building away when he sees her—auburn hair in two neat French braids, a grey peacoat on, and hands in green fleece gloves holding a shopping bag that looks heavy. Sansa Stark is walking up the steps of the triple-decker, leaving a sleek, black sedan idling by the curb. Flustered, Jon jogs the rest of the way and reaches the steps just as Sansa raises a hand to ring the buzzer. “Hey,” he says, and she stops her motion. When she turns to him, Sansa’s eyes go wide. “Are you all right?” — Jon and Sansa—how touch evolves between them over the years.

[alovesreading]

Chicken Shop Date | Part 8 |

By @imagine-that-100​​​ and @alovesreading​​​

Description: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | You and your best friend Amelia came up with a very simple idea of taking celebrities on awkward chicken shop dates, and somehow, it’s managed to become both of your jobs. In the past, you’ve found sitting across from some of the biggest stars on the planet and eating chicken nuggets easy. But then Amelia manages to score you a date with the man who you’ve been obsessed with since you were nineteen; Matty Healy.

Word Count: 28.6k

A/N: Hey besties!! We’re back and this one’s another fun one for you! We were reminiscing about the UK tour writing this one, giving those good days a CSD twist and we hope you enjoy it loads. It was so much fun to write the shit everyone would get up to on the road, but can you believe this one was meant to be the end of this series? Mentalllllllll. Please make sure to check out the author’s note at the end of this as it’s an important one. Thanks for reading! Enjoy! xx

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | 

| N’s Masterlist | A’s Masterlist |

~*~*~*~ 14th January ~*~*~*~

“Baby please.”

The begging has been going on for about half an hour. It’s come and gone in waves but Matty’s getting more and more desperate and more persistent.

“Please baby, please.” Matty pouts, looking pained now, “I need you.”

You raise your eyebrows at him, in yet another way of questioning him. His arms are tight around your waist, not letting you move from straddling his lap because he thinks that will be how he gets his way.

“You’re being so needy.” You smirk, shaking your head, not giving in to his pitiful pleas.

“Please, please, please.” He looks like he could start crying and it takes everything in you not to laugh. You try and push yourself up off him but he grips your hips even tighter, not letting you move an inch away.

“Matty.” You sigh, your hands resting on his shoulders as you tell him, “I can’t.”

“You can.” Matty changes tactics then and leans in and kisses his way up your neck until he’s whispering in your ear, “Please baby, I really want you to come.”

“No,” You grab a handful of his curls then and pull him back so you can look at him and say, “I can’t come on tour with you Matty.”

Your boyfriend whines, “But you said before I even asked the question that you don’t have anything planned until you go to Copenhagen in February. And you’re coming to half the fucking dates anyway. Please.”

“I will be in the way.” You shake your head.

He promises, “You won’t!”

“Matty, I would be like a spare part, not to mention your tour bus would be full to the brim if I tagged along.” You shake your head, not seeing at all how he could change your mind.

“You wouldn’t,” He frowns, silently scorning you for thinking like that before a hint of a grin comes to his face as he says, “And you’d be sleeping in my bunk, with me.”

“That's going to be so comfy,” You roll your eyes, “Two tall people in a coffin sized bunk for more than two weeks.”

“Thanks for admitting I’m tall baby, but listen.” He looks all proud of himself for his height for a second before he goes into getting his points across again, “We’re in hotels in Cardiff and back home for Manchester so it’s only like a week on the bus really.”

“The bus isn’t the issue Matty.” You sigh, giving him the honest answer, “The issue is I’ll be in the way, feeling useless.”

The bunk wouldn’t be an issue for you at all. You both practically sit on each other's lap when you’re with no other company anyway so sharing a small bed will be the least of your worries. You just know that you’ll feel useless and that you’re a hindrance to things running smoothly.

“Charli’s coming,” Matty raises his eyebrows, “You saying she’s useless?”

“She has musical value.” Your excuses fall easily from your lips, but you can’t help but smile at the way he’s begging, “Can’t you just be happy with me coming to the dates I’m already coming to. You’ll see me every five days.”

“So there's absolutely no reason you can’t see me for the other four in between.” Matty acts playfully annoyed, saying that through his teeth before he leans in to kiss you. “Besides, you really think you’re coming to the gig and then I just leave you that night? Absolutely not… I have needs.”

“You have my Instagram.” You backchat and Matty groans loudly.

There’s a ghost of a smile on his lips as he says, “Whilst I love that you put your Golden Globes dress on there for me to wank to Y/N, I’d prefer it if you were just there to wank me off instead.”

“So romantic.” You snort in laughter.

“Please, you’re obsessed with me and my boys and my music.” Matty pouts with absolutely no dignity left, “And I’m obsessed with you. Please come on tour with me?”

“You’re right, I am obsessed with you,” You smile, kissing his nose to combat the bad news you’re about to give him, “But no, I’m not coming on tour, and that’s that.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

So, Matty persuaded you to come on tour.

It ended up being as easy as him teasing an orgasm out of you, followed later by three phone calls. The first to Amelia, where he asked for proof that you were free - which you were - and then asked if he could steal her best friend away to join him on tour, and Amelia only laughed but didn’t hesitate at all to say of course.

The second call was to his manager Jamie. Where Matty asked Jamie to explicitly tell you how it was not an issue if you came along, and he even said that you could help their photographer Jordan put together a few social media posts if you really wanted something to do. But you were welcome to come along regardless and that the 1975 family would be lucky to have you.

And the third call was to the queen of pop herself, Miss Charli XCX. And it was Charli who really made you agree to joining them as she pleaded with you to tag along. She jokes how she can’t be the only groupie to come along on tour with them (Carly apparently didn’t count) and if you’re really honest, you just can’t say no to Charli at all. It feels wrong to, so after ten minutes of her and Matty giving you their best arguments, you gave in and agreed to join them.

That evening you and Matty went over to your flat where you packed a large suitcase full of everything you could need, and the next day you were on the tour bus with them heading on the rest of their UK tour. And god, you were so glad you agreed to join them.

There’s never a dull moment in that tour bus, it’s either the lads managing to make everyone laugh with their random occurrences, sharing spliffs turning into funny stories being aired for everyone to laugh at or games that end up in the same interesting way they started as.

Being around for soundcheck felt like you’d won some kind of prize. A glimpse into how it all works is so entertaining for you, not to mention them singing to an empty arena that pretty much just has you, Charli, and Carly in it is so much fun.

There have been so many times that you’ve caught yourself just staring up at them on stage and being in awe all over again. But Matty can’t help but find you so entertaining, you’re either singing loudly along at the barrier before Charli pulls you to dance with her, and he is smiling the whole way through what he usually finds boring and inconvenient.

Matty has absolutely adored having you come along on tour. Your presence alone makes him so much more joyful, and everyone who was present for the beginning of the tour has seen the difference. He feels more himself, more alive, and so much happier. And it’s all down to you.

The boring moments on the tour bus, you made them so much better for him. The hours he had to sit with his vocal steamer on, it made it so much nicer when you were lying with your head in his lap or his in yours. You’d both play with each other's hair, listen to music, and now and again chat to each other and the others. But Matty couldn’t stop grinning the whole time.

Even during the first few performances when you were somewhere lost in the crowd and he couldn’t find you, still you made your presence known to him. The first time it was just accidental though, you had written him a note as everyone was discussing the setlist and you’d slipped it into his pocket as a joke thinking he would notice and check.

Matty, however, hadn’t noticed your sleight of hand in the green room and he later found the note when he reached into his pocket half way through the Being Funny section of the set. He pulled out the crumpled up piece of paper and opened it on stage, accidentally laughing down the microphone when he read your words.

I’m trying this again: play antichrist x Pretty, please xx Picture me pouting at you, how can you say no to that? xoxox

The singer was well aware the crowd of people were confused about the note that they could see on the screens, and his laughter, but all Matty did was pocket the note again (fully intending to keep it) and grab his guitar and start playing the chords to I’m In Love With You.

The next day he caught you putting another note in his pocket but he kept quiet, wanting to read it on stage again as a little reminder of you to look forward too during his set. And it's again before he’s due to play I’m In Love With You that his hand dips into his pocket and he finds the note.

He’s smiling instantly, expecting it to be another note pleading for Antichrist, but instead this one is a little different, yet still entirely you.

I need a hug and six months of sleep x (maybe a kiss too)

When he laughs at this one, he hears George ask what's so funny through his in-ears but he elects to ignore him. Once again just picking up his guitar and singing the entirety of I’m In Love With You with a huge grin on his face.

The 3rd time it’s Cardiff night 2 and when he reads the note that night he knows you’ve done it on purpose. You’re a fucking menace who loves to tease him even when you’re not in his presence. As that night the note read:

You better think of me on that settee x

He didn’t laugh that night, no instead his dick twitched and he was reminded about your morning in the hotel and how you were both interrupted before anything could happen (you fell straight asleep as soon as you got in bed the night before) and you had been subtly teasing him all day. Whispering things in his ear, leaving longing touches on him knowing he couldn’t react how he would if the two of you were alone, and then the note.

He didn’t need you to explicitly instruct him to think of you during consumption, as he always did anyway. But this time he put a little more effort into his performance, hoping to tease you a little in the crowd.

And tease you he did. That night you watched as he teased himself on screen, smoking and letting his hands trail down his body until he squeezed himself through his trousers, and your mouth went dry with want when he simulated pulling on someone's hair. On your hair.

Needless to say that when you got back to the hotel room that night, you were on your back almost instantly, Matty’s head dipping between your thighs until you were on the verge of coming undone on his tongue. But he edged you time and time again until you were whimpering, pleading for him to fuck you like no one else could.

It was lucky you were spending another night at the hotel really because Matty doesn’t know what he would have done if you were both stuck not being able to find any relief until another two days' time when you were due in Glasgow. Thankfully he didn’t have to find out. You both alleviated the tension between you that night and again the following morning before you all returned to the bus to start the long drive up to Glasgow on their off day.

The journey wasn’t so bad, you got to have a good laugh with the band, especially loving the time you got to spend with Adam and Carly’s little boy. You got to play with him when he wasn’t down for a nap and Matty loved every second of seeing you and his nephew interact.

You remember that afternoon, Carly had just changed the baby after he woke up from his nap and she’d let you have him. One of your favourite things to do with him was sit him down on your lap and read him one of his little books he had and let him blabber on and on as he tried to copy the words you were saying. But he had started crying in the middle of you trying to get him to say ‘orange’ and you couldn’t find a reason for why he was so upset.

Uncle Matty had come to the rescue and got him from you, and it was when he picked him up that he realised he needed another change, so you went with him to change the baby’s nappy.

It was going so well, you distracting baby Hann keeping him happy and calm as Matty changed him, but Matty made the awful mistake of letting him hold the baby powder. It was once he splayed out the new nappy under him, the baby waved his arms happily at the freedom, Matty had been bathed in talcum powder.

Matty immediately froze, face and hair covered in white, his top had a few streaks of white powder sticking to it and baby Hann had managed to get some on his little chest and arm but he had giggled loudly with you when you cackled at the situation.

Blowing harshly to get rid of the talcum off his lips, Matty huffed out a soft, “I didn’t know it was open.” which amused you even more, doubling over in laughter but taking away the powder bottle from the baby’s hands so he wouldn’t continue making a mess.

Your boyfriend loved to pride himself in doing everything right so you’d taken the mishap to tease him a bit, “Uncle Matty struggling for once, who would’ve thought?”

He’d only rolled his eyes at you, and you watched out of the corner of your eye how he rubbed the powder off himself as you wiped it off the baby and finished changing his nappy.

When you’d gone back to the lounge with everyone and placed a happy again baby Hann on your lap and continued trying to get him to say the names to different fruits, you found him looking at you with adoring eyes.

But not even the sparkle in his eye would make you forget what had happened, so, letting the baby speak gibberish as he harshly pointed at the banana on the book’s page, you turned to Matty and sighed, “I wish I had taken a picture.”

His smile had fallen and he glared at you before rolling his eyes to chat back sarcastically, “I’m sure you do.”

And the rest of the day you had made a joke of ruffling his hair swearing there was some more talcum powder left. The last time you do this, he ends up telling you it’s just his grey hairs and you exaggerate a gasp, pretending like you’ve just now realised.

“Right, I forgot you’re an actual grandad.” You sucked air through your teeth like the fact was making you wince.

But then he went all cute when he flipped it around by reminding you, “And you’re a grandma so it’s meant to be, really.”

A chuckle was your response, which died quickly when he pressed his lips on yours to kiss you sweetly, half to shut you up and half because he’d been dying to for the past few minutes.

That afternoon, both of you ended up catching some alone time, which was really nice when you’re on a bus with sixteen other people. You’re in the back lounge listening to one of your many playlists, both with an AirPod in each ear and lying on the back settee with Matty behind you while you’re watching as the world goes by as you travel further north.

You’re sitting between Matty’s legs, your back against his chest and you both occasionally catch yourselves singing or humming along to the music. Matty wouldn’t change the scenario for the world, he gets to lie there with you against him, kissing the top of your head whenever he feels like, and he absentmindedly plays with the end of your hair.

The singer doesn’t even mind when one of his songs starts up, he finds it amusing that you have absolutely no shame with it being on there. And knowing now that it’s one of your new favourites he even loves hearing you softly sing along.

“Do you think that I’ve forgotten?” You quietly sing, “Do you think that I’ve forgotten? Do you think that I’ve forgotten, about you?”

Hearing that though makes Matty frown, and he waits until you sing it again as confirmation. His biggest fan in the world and now also his girlfriend, has got the lyrics wrong.

He’s trying not to laugh when he gets your attention, “Baby?”

“Yeah.” You ask, tilting your head back a little to look up at him.

He looks really pretty with the way the dimming light is hitting his face through the window. His skin is like it's glowing with the way the sun shines on him, and you find yourself thinking you’re so lucky again especially with the way he’s smiling at you.

Matty can’t help but smirk, “You know you’re getting the lyrics to that wrong, right?”

“No I’m not.” Instantly you frown up at him, entirely defensive.

“Yes,” Matty tries not to laugh, “You are.”

Your frown deepens, your whole face scrunching up as you ask, “Which bit?”

“The main bit,” He tells you, “Do you think I have forgotten… you’re singing ‘do you think that I've forgotten’.”

“They’re the lyrics.” You nod, looking at him like he’s stupid.

He can’t stop himself from chuckling, “No they’re not, baby.”

“Yeah, they are,” You nod, sitting up a little and turning to look at him properly, “I’ve been singing that since the album dropped.”

“Y/N,” Matty grins, entirely amused by you not believing him, “I wrote the song, I think I know the lyrics.”

At that you scoff, “You literally tell people that they are brave for getting lyrics tattooed because you have a tendency for changing them.”

You have a point there to be fair. So Matty just nods down to your phone and tells you to, “Listen to the song again then if you don’t believe me.”

So you do, you start About You again and when you really listen to the lyrics, the little shit might be right. But you’re not having it still, and your denial only makes this even funner to Matty.

You huff when the song ends, still frowning, “As soon as this bus stops we’re going to HMV so I can buy a CD or a vinyl or something so I can see the lyrics.”

“Baby.” Matty says knowingly, whilst grinning like a fool.

“No,” But you’re not having it, “I don’t believe it until I see it officially in the lyrics in the album.”

“Y/N,” Your boyfriend tries to remind you, “I literally wrote the song.”

“And yet I don't trust you even a little bit.” You say, getting yourself up and giving him a snarky smile before you pinch the airpod out of his ear and head back to the others in the main lounge.

On your way you can hear Matty laughing but he doesn’t say anything when he enters the room a moment later. All that he does is grin, knowing he’s right for once, and the grin stays on his face for another hour until you’re pulling him off the bus and into the bustling city centre.

You had to be quick, getting your shoes and coats on and into an anonymous enough state that you wouldn’t be recognised. Well, mostly Matty, hip putting his hood up instantly wrapping himself up in his big coat with sunglasses on as the light was starting to disappear. You did feel like an idiot when he put sunglasses on you too, but then he reminded you that you were keeping your relationship out of everyone else's business for now so he even pulled up your hood too.

You were on a mission to reach HMV before it closed and thankfully you got there with about 20 minutes to spare. It was nice walking hand in hand with Matty though, and chatting about what was going on around you and all the stuff that you liked that you saw in different shop windows.

Matty tried to suggest you go in and have a look before everything closes but you pulled him along with you until you were inside HMV and had a CD of Being Funny In A Foreign Language in your hands. Your boyfriend finds you adorable when you had a grin on your face when you picked it up, as if it wasn’t going to be on the shelf. He can’t help but smile at you.

But his smile falls from his face when you walk up to the A section and pick up a copy of AM and tell him, “I’m going to get Flo to get him to sign it for me.”

Matty just shakes his head and pulls you along to the till, wanting more time wandering around while the shops were still open. Once you handed over the CDs, thankfully Matty managed not to let you pay for them as he beat you to getting his phone on the card machine, something which you scorned him for until you were out of the shop and he shut you up with a kiss.

With the rest of the evening free, you and Matty ended up having an impromptu date. You ended up walking to the Cineworld which wasn’t a far walk and you ended up going to watch M3GAN as there weren't many other good options. This you thankfully ended up paying for, much to Matty’s dismay, but you reminded him that you said you would be paying on the next date so you got your drinks and popcorn too.

Both of you sat in the back corner where you happily remained undetected by anyone and Matty couldn’t stop smiling at the fact he got to hold your hand for the entirety of the film. Even if the film was mediocre at best, he was glad he got to chuckle away with it with you by his side.

Only when you both made it back to the bus just after 10:30, did you find that it was just Adam, Carly, and baby still on board, as everyone else had gone out drinking. They were watching a film in the back lounge so you and Matty just said a quick hello before keeping to yourselves.

There was a quick conversation about possibly going to join the others but Matty didn’t want to. He selfishly wanted you all to himself for a while longer. It's when you get your shit out of your bag that you notice the CDs that until now have remained untouched. You pull Being Funny out with a smile and turn to your boyfriend who’s already noticed what you have and is smirking at you, waiting expectantly.

You’re eager to wipe that look from his face so you sit down beside him and carefully take the CD out of the sleeve it comes in and you pick out the lyrics sheet. Finding About You is easy but then your world crumbles, you’re wrong.

Do you think I have forgotten about you?

Matty cackles when your face falls and you just silently fold the sheet back up and slip it back beside the CD with a look of defeat on your face. Your boyfriend pulls you into him and you fall into his chest as you stubbornly stay rigid in his arms.

He giggles, “I told you so.”

You push yourself out of his grasp, jokingly keeping the annoyed facade going and you push the cd into his chest as you get up, “You can sign it now for that comment, dick.”

“Aw,” Matty coos and throws the CD to the table. He jokes as he wraps his arms around you, still wanting to laugh, “Knew you were only with me to make money on Ebay.”

“Got that right.” You nod and Matty just cackles as he places kisses on your cheeks.

The following night in Glasgow when soundchecking, Matty pulled you onto the stage with him as he sang the correct version of About You, and he pulled you around the ‘house’ with him. And you pretending not to be impressed lasted about 10 seconds because you just ended up grinning and singing along the entire time.

Even more so when he had you kneel down on the floor in front of the table and he stood on it and reached down with his microphone to put it against your chin, exactly like he did to the girl in the Robbers music video. Needless to say, you got all flustered but you played your part anyway, even sticking your tongue out like the girl did in the video and Matty let his fingers dance across your tongue for a second.

When you knelt back on your ankles, so you could sing along with Polly, Matty then got down and sat on the edge of the table and he slowly leant in to kiss you. “Having fun?” He mouthed and you gently nodded until his lips took yours. It felt magical kissing him on stage, especially because you knew it all felt a little bit meta with it looking exactly like the Robbers video as he was singing the follow up to it.

That night on stage at the actual show, your note made Matty laugh, reminding him of yesterday with the talcum powder incident with his nephew.

Greys looking beautiful tonight grandad x

The Glasgow crowd was great, you loved every single second of being in that crowd. You spent a bit of your time with Jordan that night, going to different places with him and watching him take pictures from afar before you ultimately made yourself at home in the pit.

You thought that this being your 6th show, you would have somehow found it less painful to leave the pit during Give Yourself A Try, but it’s not. It still pains you each time you do it, but thankfully you can still hear it when you disappear off to head backstage with Jamie.

It ends up being an hour and a half before you end up back on the bus, and that night you were heading straight down to Manchester. Somewhere you’re really eager to go because you’d only been a handful of times and you really didn’t know the ins and outs of the city like Matty does, so when he promised you a tour you got really excited at the thought. You couldn’t wait till tomorrow to get there.

But it was that night on the bus when you needed to squeeze out of the bunk to get yourself a drink that you noticed your tote from the previous day was folded up on the table. You grab it, intending to put it in the mesh pocket of yours and Mattys bunk so you don’t lose it, but instead you feel CDs. And that’s when you remember your purchases.

You take them out, smiling when you see AM, knowing Flo will find it funny that you bought it. But it’s when you see Being Funny that you’re a little shocked and your heart doubles in size.

Never for a second did you think Matty would actually sign the CD for you, but he did sign his name in the top right hand corner with three kisses underneath it. But it’s what he’s written on the left side that has you melting.

// Be A Riot //

It’s then that you know that the man who wrote that for you is probably the most special person in your life, as even though it may seem like such a simple lyric to write, it means so much more. You fully allow yourself to give in to every little happiness he brings you from that moment on, and it starts with you going back to your bunk and plastering hundreds of kisses across his face before you settle down and whisper to each other just how obsessed you are and falling asleep in each other's arms.

~*~*~*~ 20th January ~*~*~*~

Manchester is so much fun, especially with Matty by your side. He really is the best tour guide, and he had been everywhere else you’d been, but he seems to come alive in his hometown.

He holds your hand the entire time, both of you dressed in your disguises so no one spots you wondering around the day of their gig. It made you giggle at the amount of people in 1975 tops that you passed but thankfully Matty evaded detection.

You felt like you were watching your boyfriend's Zane Lowe interview all over again because Matty took you around the same places the video showed. But it was so much fun with Matty explaining to you properly and in detail the shit that he and the boys got up to when they were younger.

First he takes you around the Northern Quarter, he shows you the square of bars that will be heaving later on that night and he shows you the spot where he wrote The City back in the day and you don’t even try and hide your smile from him.

Going to Afflecks and seeing their poster up on the wall surrounded by so many other posters of musical legends fills your heart and you can’t help yourself taking a quick picture of it to keep for yourself.

You were gutted you couldn’t take a picture with it but when you look up the stairs to the right and you catch a glimpse of a photo booth, you almost drag Matty upstairs with you so you can freely take a picture together without risking getting caught.

He’s faster than you when he pays for the pictures once you’re inside and the curtain’s drawn, and you both quickly put your hoods down and take off your sunglasses so that you don’t take pictures in your disguises.

At first you think 6 poses is going to be a job for you to come up with in less than 5 seconds in between pictures but your boyfriend makes you giggle so much that it comes natural when you mess about in front of the camera.

Matty’s cute though, cupping your jaw and giving you a sweet kiss for the last one and when you see them all printed, you melt in his arms. He steals one last kiss as you finish getting yourselves back into your disguises and you make sure to carefully put the photo strips away before you walk out of the booth.

Before you have to go back to the venue for soundcheck, he takes you to Gorilla and when you get there he tells you what he has planned for the gig they’re going to have there.

He nonchalantly says, “We’re doing all of self titled.” and you gasp loudly in response.

“What?!” Is the only thing you can say after that information has been dumped on you.

Matty chuckles in amusement, “Yeah… Thought you’d like that news.”

“Not when I have a trip to Copenhagen planned for Amelia’s Birthday!” You hide your face in your hands and take a deep breath before asking, “Deluxe version or just the regular version?”

“What happens if I say deluxe…” Matty taunts you with a smirk, but when you drop your hands and glare at him very seriously, he presses his lips together not to laugh.

“You better not.” It’s all you warn him with, even the thought of that happening makes you sick.

He wraps his arms around you and pulls you into his chest, dropping a kiss on your cheek and then one on the corner of your mouth and right before he can trap your lips in a sweet kiss, he whispers, “The regular version.”

You allow yourself to melt into him for a bit, but when his tongue teases your bottom lip, you pull away to make him suffer a bit for what you’re going to miss soon. Your hand comes up to his cheek and you pat it softly, “It better be.”

Going back to the venue was a bit more hectic than you expected, you had to be very careful with not getting caught by the big queue of fans lining up outside the venue for the show. But once inside, thanks to Mark and Scott being the absolute best, being around everyone again is a relief. A newfound sense of familiarity that you’re growing to cherish, therefore you’re dreading the end of tour in only 10 days.

When you walk out to watch the lads on stage and you see Charli up there with them, George guiding her into the house through the door and showing her the way around, your jaw drops.

“Are you the surprise tonight?!” You ask loudly, your hand hovering over your mouth in shock.

Charli offers you a smirk and nods, “Yes baby!”

You squeal in excitement, and watch as she quickly rehearses what her entrance will be like. She puts on a little show for you as she sings a few scattered lines of Vroom Vroom into a microphone that doesn’t play through the speakers. Of course she couldn’t soundcheck properly so that no one could hear and ruin the surprise, but she trusted that it would go smoothly when the time came for her to walk in on stage.

Carly, Charli and you are standing against the barricade fence after your pop star friend has finished her brief rehearsal and you watch the lads soundcheck with a big smile on your faces.

Their banter makes you all laugh, and you all join in taking the piss of each other here and there. When your boyfriend taps his trouser’s pocket with his brows raised, you know it’s his silent way to ask about getting a note tonight and you wink at him in response. A cute blush rises on his cheeks and his voice grows sweeter when he starts singing the chorus to Oh Caroline when he’s instructed through his in-ears.

Your note makes him giggle as he flushes from head to toe, he can feel his cheeks warm and that feeling you give him envelops him entirely. A bubble of happiness bursts inside him and it coats every inch of him, all because you said…

Obsessed with you x

He sings with a bit more intent after that. The fact that it’s Manchester they’re playing in and that he wants to impress you even more, makes for his voice to come out beautifully sultry and you’re left in awe hearing him come to life on stage.

Like you expected, Amelia was shocked to the core when you facetime her with the little bit of signal you get as Charli is about to walk on stage, and you all but scream the lyrics out along with the pop queen and the rest of the crowd.

After that the gig just kept getting better though. Your boyfriend got a Greggs sausage roll thrown at him and he was giggling as he picked it up and took a bite and then spat it out. It certainly gave everyone a laugh, the band included, and they continued their set.

When the gig finishes and you head back to the greenroom, Matty comes all sweaty to you and traps you in a hug that then turns to him wrapping an arm around your waist and using his other hand to cup your jaw and pull you in for a dizzying kiss.

“Obsessed with you too.” Matty says once he pulls back, his forehead pressed against yours and nudging your nose with his in a cute eskimo kiss.

He feels as you scrunch up your nose and you lean in for another quick kiss, humming into it as a sign of approval. You don’t think you’ll ever grow tired of hearing him say those words to you, it always manages to make you putty in his hands.

Drinking with everyone and enjoying the wave of energy after the show is so fulfilling every time. An excuse to celebrate the band’s talent and their continuous delivery on a great show. So it’s easy to let time fly by as you do: cracking jokes, laughing at the guys’ occurrences, sharing their funny views of the crowd, talking about how mental it had gotten when Charli came out.

Soon enough it’s time to leave the venue but you’re surprised when you get to the bus and your boyfriend tells you to get your stuff because you’re staying somewhere else tonight.

You were expecting a hotel room to be the destination but when you sit in the back of the Uber Matty has ordered, he tells you with a massive grin that the plan for tonight is, “We’re staying at Denise’s.”

Matty doesn’t miss the way your face lights up at the news and he feels your heating cheeks when you hide your face in the crook of his neck with a soft squeal of excitement only he hears.

It takes about half an hour to get to Denise’s house so when you walk through the front door, you find her half asleep waiting for you to get there. She greets you sweetly, this time remembering your name instead of calling you ‘chicken nugget date girl’, and only after a few minutes of small talk she excuses herself to go to bed.

Lincoln isn’t far behind her, making everyone a brew before he goes upstairs to join his wife who’s probably already asleep despite him making her a cup of tea too. Louis chats with the both of you a little more before he calls it a night too.

Your boyfriend doesn’t waste more time after his family leaves to drag you upstairs, promising he’d show you around tomorrow. He was also knackered and he had wanted to have you all to himself for ages now, so it’s very quick that you find yourself walking into his childhood bedroom and smiling at the glimpse into a younger Matty’s mind.

You look at the pictures he has on the walls, of the four boys among other friends who he went to school with or met at various parties. You spotted Flo in a few of them too and it’s so adorable to you that you get a glimpse into the people they used to be.

You were smiling and asking questions about them all, even telling Matty that a photobooth picture of him and Flo from when they clearly first got together was cute. You like that he hasn’t shut off that part of his life and the picture is still up, because after all his experiences have made him into the man who he is today.

Matty smiles at the memory of it but he just takes the photobooth picture that the two of you took today and puts it up in a free spot on his wall. That warms your heart deeply, you can’t stop grinning as the both of you then get settled.

The singer jumps on his bed, flopping down on it and you giggle watching his hair flying everywhere and eventually coming to rest almost over his eyes. Matty just lets out a long sigh, clearly loving the feeling of lying on a proper bed again and you must admit you can’t wait to join him.

Matty makes no effort to get himself undressed, other than kicking off his shoes and socks and pulling his tie even looser. Instead he watches you, not even bothering to hide how much he’s grinning as he watches you make yourself at home in his room.

His grin only gets bigger when he watches you get undressed and he mutters under his breath how fucking good you look which just makes you flush a little but you choose to mostly ignore him and instead ask for one of his tops. He points over to a drawer where he knows there will be some and he smiles watching as you pull out his Revelation Records original bold top and slip it on.

You finish changing and come to sit down on his bed, grabbing your skincare stuff and start blindly applying it to yourself. That is until Matty exaggeratedly coughs a few times clearly expectantly as he wants you to do his too like you’ve been doing every night you’ve been away.

He’s all smiles as you rub the various creams into his face, even kissing the palm of your hand and then over the tattoo on your wrist followed by a small thank you when you finish. After that though he puckers his lips at you, and you giggle as you scooch down the bed and get comfy enough to kiss him how he wants.

Your heart feels very full, being in your boyfriends childhood bedroom, kissing him goodnight after he’s put on an excellent hometown show, with only the warm light of his bedside lamp letting you see just how big his smile gets. It’s really difficult for your heart not to stretch to a certain place too early, but you love everything about this new relationship despite only being in it for such a short amount of time.

But with him kissing you so sweetly, how he always does, and him pulling you into him so you’ve got practically no space between you, it’s not a shock he always makes your heart stutter. You love getting lost kissing him, it’s certainly a favourite pastime of yours.

And you love the feeling of your fingers tangled in his hair, how he clutches you tighter when you do to his curls and the groans he lets out when you pull on them.

You do just that and just like you were expecting, his mouth hangs open for a second when he lets out a groan. You can’t help the giggle that escapes you, giddy from the affection and the realisation of how you’re growing to anticipate his actions.

The sound of your bubbly laugh lights up a spark inside him. The walls of the dam that contains all that he feels for you burst and it all comes pouring hot and sticky, melting his insides and flipping a switch that makes him eager to translate the mess of his emotions into something you can understand.

He presses your lips a bit harder then, hips bucking forward and pressing in between your parted legs which has you gasping. Your tongues meet and taste each other when he catches his chance to do so, fingers digging into your skin as his hold grows with intention.

Matty doesn’t want to let you go. He doesn’t think he ever will.

But he won’t get ahead of himself. He wants to make you feel good, like you do to him with just your presence, with the simple sweetness of your laughter, the warmth of your touch, your silly jokes at his expense. He could go on and on, every day adding a new thing to the list.

In your head, a very different train of thought is going on. You’re entirely too aware of where you are and who is in the same space as you, so feeling him getting increasingly eager about getting off with you, you have to be the one to cut things before they move past a point of no return.

“Matty.” You smile, knowing where this road leads and it’s not somewhere the both of you can go in his childhood bedroom.

“Mmmh.” He hums against your lips, keeping them against yours not wanting to stop kissing you at all.

You repeat yourself, “Matty,” this time hoping he takes the hint.

He reluctantly pulls away, quickly asking, “What?” as he pecks your lips a few more times.

You’re grinning as you tell him with knowing eyes, “Calm down.”

But that makes your boyfriend frown a little, “What’s wrong?”

“We’re in your Mum's house.” You remind him, almost finding it funny he forgot, “She'll hear us. Your whole family will hear us.”

“No they won’t.” Matty shakes his head, knowing he’s not been caught out before so he doesn’t expect he will now. “Relax, I wanna make you feel good baby.”

“Matty.” You try to reason with him, still not entirely sold on the idea.

The sheer embarrassment of Denise knowing you’ve shagged her son in her house a mere 20 days after first getting with him is something you don’t think you could ever live down. You’re aware she’s a legend and a lovely person so she would probably never comment on it even if she did hear you, but you don't know if you could handle the embarrassment of being looked at with knowing eyes.

“Come on, I know you can bite those pretty lips to stop yourself being loud.” Matty grins, dragging his thumb over your already puffy bottom lip. “Can you do that for me baby?”

Instinctively you nod, always wanting to be good for him, but then you realise what you’ve just agreed to, “But-”

Matty’s already chuckling at you giving in and then catching yourself. As soon as he sees that nod of yours he moves his hand from your hip to between your legs and feels that you’ve soaked through your underwear which makes his jaw lock and your ‘but’ catch in your throat and whine.

Your boyfriend starts drawing circles over your clit through your underwear and if he didn’t have the confirmation of what you want already, the buck of your hips into his hand certainly gave it to him. And Matty can’t fucking wait to have you unravel underneath him again, he’s dying to at this point.

Your boyfriend kisses you sweetly again as if he’s not already doing anything sinful, “You gonna let me make you feel good?”

You nod a little in his hold, “Yeah.” pleasure already creeping its way up your spine.

“Good girl.” He smirks before kissing you deeply once more, before pulling away and telling you to, “Relax.”

But there's only so much relaxing you can do when a man is kissing his way down your body, heading to where you want him desperately.

Your boyfriend teases you beyond belief, that sinful tongue of his licking up your already soaked underwear just to make you choke on your breath and bite your bottom lip harder before he decides he wants to play with you a little more. After pulling your underwear off, you expect him to go straight to where you’re already throbbing for him, but no.

Matty decides that now is the time to appreciate a woman’s thighs. Slowly he kisses, licks, and bites his way down your skin, building your anticipation again and again until your hips gain a mind of their own and start bucking towards him, it makes Matty chuckle at the same time you plead for him to stop teasing you.

Only after you beg him once more does he give you what you want. Matty laps at your clit like a man starved, knowing exactly how to tease you now and he smirks to himself when your thighs tremble beside his head before dipping his tongue down to drink you in again.

He notices the way you’re holding your moans to yourself, huffing as he flicks your swollen clit with a skilled tongue, your teeth digging harshly on your bottom lip to quiet your whines when he sucks on your clit.

A pop slices the struggling silence in the room when he pulls back, and you find how at the pressure of keeping quiet, his praise heightens your need by a tenfold. “So good for me baby.” His words fall sweetly from his lips, lashes fluttering as he looks up to you and you nod in agreement, hips writhing as an attempt to get him back to what he was doing.

“Think you can hold those pretty sounds as you cum on my tongue.” Your boyfriend says next, dropping a string of kisses on your inner thigh, taking the opportunity to dig his teeth on your skin as if pushing you to the edge and see how much you can take until you break your silence.

You nod frantically, your eyes closed, teeth biting down hard on your bottom lip only letting the tiniest hum of confirmation spill. And you’re sure Matty smirks again before he moves back to your core, only giving you a few seconds of teasing when his hot breath hits your core and you squirm at the feeling.

His wet and bold tongue comes to meet your dripping centre and it’s a blinding feeling of relief and tightening pleasure that just promises to drive you insane. You’re almost holding your breath so that you don’t make a noise but the faster he becomes in his movements on your clit, the more you fail. Your breath grows heavy and it starts leaving you in gasps, hands clawing at the sheets of the bed so tightly so you don’t let your whines slip past your lips.

Senses go into overdrive, all you can see is white behind your eyelids but your ears are catching so well the wet sounds of his mouth on your slick cunt. Your hips become erratic when the coil in the pit of your stomach tightens to an eye-watering degree.

All he can think of as he watches you writhe beneath him is the word mine. He watches his stunning girlfriend losing her mind at the way his tongue moves. He can't help but stare at the way his girlfriend’s chest rapidly rises and falls as he can see the way her hard nipples stand against the fabric of his top before you use your free hand to tease yourself. You’re all his and Matty forces himself to commit the moment to memory, banking it up for another inevitable lonely tour night when you won't be able to join him.

A breathy and desperate, “Matty, f-fuck,” reaches his ears and, along with your shaking legs and your white knuckle grip on the sheets, it lets him know you’re about to let go. So he hums, encouraging you to give it all to him. And the vibration of it is just what you needed for that tension to snap.

Matty can’t tear his eyes away as you cum on his tongue, your flushed chest heaving as your breaths become messy and your back arches. The taste of you mixed with the sight of you makes him grind his hips harder into his bed, needing that slight bit of stimulation himself.

You come down with a few gasps at the feeling of his tongue still teasing you, sore fingers letting go of the bedding to tug on his curls and pull him away. He looks up, a devilish grin plastered on his face showing he’s proud of what he’s achieved before he dips back down, cleaning up the mess he’s made.

The tight grasp you have on his hair doesn’t deter him, if only it encourages him and you’re left focusing on not making noise instead. You’re biting your tongue so hard just so you don’t make a loud noise but you’re struggling a lot so you just beg, “Matty, please,” as you tug on his locks once more and thankfully he listens.

You pull on his curls until he moves with you and he crawls back up your body. It’s a messy kiss you pull him into, tasting yourself on his tongue has you whining and wanting more of him.

Matty rocks himself into you a few times and the friction of it on your overstimulated clit has you gasping. He’s hard, probably enough for it to begin to be painful, so you break your kiss to ask him, “Do you want me to give you head?”

He kisses you again, his hips grinding against you again, and when you groan he kisses your neck he whispers, “I want to be inside you.”

God, you really want that too, but you know you can’t. “No.” You shake your head.

Matty chuckles, pulling up to ask with a grin of disbelief, as if he can’t feel how wet you’ve already got again through his pants. He teases, “You don’t want to shag me baby?”

He kisses down your neck, bruising his way down your skin drawing short moans out of you as you pull on his hair, wanting him to continue. But then you remember where you are, “Matty, everyone’s gonna hear.”

You only just kept quiet as he was giving you head. You’re going to be absolutely done for if he fucks you too.

“Not if you trust me.” Matty locks eyes with you as he asks, “Do you trust me?”

“Yes.” You nod, not trusting anyone more than him at this point.

He grins, pulling on your top a little, “Take this off for me then baby.”

You do as you're told and strip off your top as Matty sheds himself of his clothes. He dumps his tie and his shirt where he was previously lay beside you before getting up to pull his pants and underwear down.

Pressing your thighs together when you see just how hard you’ve made your boyfriend is little relief. Matty’s busy gawking at your body though, aching even more than he was without his restrictive clothing. He pumps himself twice, his breath catching as he does but he can’t stop when he looks at you lying on his bed like that.

Your boyfriend goes to move back to the bed but you shake your head, telling him, “Condom.”

“Thought we scrapped those?” He asks with a curious smile.

You tell him sternly, “I’m not having us make a mess and look at your Mum's face as we put the sheets in the wash.”

It almost makes Matty chuckle, instead he just smiles, “Okay baby.” before routing in his bag to find one.

Matty puts it on with ease before he finds his home perched back between your legs. And considering you ‘didn’t want him to fuck you’, he almost finds it comical how desperate you’re looking beneath him right now.

Your boyfriend kisses you deeply again, you can still taste yourself on his tongue and that along with the way he holds your jaw has you moaning against those sinful lips of his.

The kiss only gets messier as it goes, your hands desperately clutching onto him as he presses himself on you. The heaviness of his cock presses and rubs on your clit as his hips move, in a desperate attempt to chase your second orgasm, you move your hips in tune and it just feels too good for your mind to remember you’re supposed to be quiet.

He chuckles against your lips before he pulls away completely, his hips pulling away as well make you whine at the loss of the delicious friction. But you peel your eyes open to see what he’s doing, thinking that he’s doing this to edge you.

You watch as Matty reaches to the side and you see him grab his tie. He wraps it over the knot that's already in it a few times which makes you ask, “What are you doing?”

“Keeping you quiet.” Your boyfriend smirks, “Open.”

Your stomach drops, realising what that means, and you do as you're told. Matty sees the way your eyes get that little bit darker as he puts his tie in your mouth.

When he comes back close to you, pressing himself against you again, he watches your teeth digging into the fabric in your mouth, a moan being muffled by the tie so he smirks seeing that it works.

“Good girl.” Matty praises you, leaning in to have his face hover above yours and watch every little detail on your face as he finally goes to fill you up.

His right hand goes down to guide himself to your centre, teasing your clit by rubbing it with the tip of his cock which elicits a mewl that’s drowned by the fabric on your mouth. He’s enjoying it far too much, the visual of you gagged underneath him and almost desperate to have him inside you makes Matty impossibly hard.

Slowly he stretches you out, biting on his bottom lip as he goes further and when he feels your nails scratching his back as he bottoms out, Matty grabs your arms and pins your wrists over your head. He crosses them so he can keep them in place with his left hand but before he starts moving, he asks for confirmation that you’re not uncomfortable with what he’s just done, “This okay baby?”

Your hasty nodding is entirely amusing to him, he loves seeing you surrendered to him like this. He pulls his hips back the furthest he can without completely exiting you and in a strong swift movement, he bottoms out again.

Slow and hard, that’s the pace he sets and it has your eyes rolling back in pleasure. You had never been gagged before but you find yourself really enjoying it, the thrill of having to have your mouth stuffed with his tie not to get caught has you even more turned on. And adding your hands being pinned over your head as your boyfriend pounds into you, is enough to have you a mess of muffled moans and whines.

Just thinking of the situation has you clenching hard around him and he doesn’t let it go unnoticed, “Oh you like this?” Matty smirks, “Such a whore, aren’t you?”

He feels your thighs tighten around his hips, clearly enjoying being called a whore and it makes his smirk more prominent. His eyes are full of lust as he asks, “Just want me to ruin you, is that right?”

Nodding desperately, you need everything from him now. Your hips buck at him when he does that and you whine a little on the material keeping you quiet. Matty kisses your neck a few times then, and you can feel his smirk, clearly loving having you exactly at his mercy. And you can’t even pretend you’re not loving it either.

“Fuck baby.” Your boyfriend heavily breathes, his eyes darkening that little bit more feeling just how tight you are wrapped around him. “You look so good. Feel fucking amazing.”

He fucks into you mercilessly, quickly finding the angle that has you almost thrashing beneath him and he knows he’s found your g spot. You can’t even meet his thrusts anymore, the knot of pleasure in your lower stomach is almost too much and the blinding heat that stirs inside you has you biting hard on his tie.

Your eyes screw shut and head throws back further into the pillow as he continues whispering vulgar things about how he loves having you like this into your ear and teasing you about just how much you’re enjoying it.

“Come on baby, I can feel you’re close. Cum for me.” Matty says as he kisses just under your ear, biting your earlobe and dragging between his teeth before sucking on the part of your neck that he knows makes you weak. “Please baby, be a good girl and let go for me.”

And it doesn’t take much more than the promise of praise and his hips meeting yours over and over to have you finishing. It hits you and it’s like a blinding white heat runs up your body and takes over your senses.

Matty watches you orgasm beneath him, entirely awestruck at the way you lose yourself. It’s lucky he gagged you because you moan loudly as your high takes over and he can only manage a few more thrusts with how tightly you’re clenching around him.

It’s only seconds before he cums too, filling the condom and moaning down your ear which adds to your own orgasm tenfold. He fucks into you a few more times to drag out the pleasure running through you both before he slows and settles himself, freeing your wrists and pulling his tie from your mouth as he buries his face in the crook of your neck.

Your arms fall down over his shoulders, entirely weak just like your body feels but you let your fingers run back into his hair when he lifts himself back up looking at you like he’s drunk. You giggle a little before you kiss him and it’s the sweetest sensation after being fucked by him.

Matty grins when he pulls away, and you giggle at each other before Matty leans down and gives you a little eskimo kiss, before again admitting, “I’m obsessed with you.”

Your heart is so full, you don't even hesitate to say back, “Obsessed with you too baby.”

Matty blushes at that which makes you giggle again and you pull on his hair so he comes back for one last kiss. After that you both decide a shower is in order and as Matty disposes of the condom and goes and grabs the both of you a towel, he embarrasses you.

“We’ll have to sneak out tomorrow morning.” He tells you with a small grin on his face.

You ask curiously, “Why?”

“Because that tie did nothing, you were so loud.” Matty tells you, his smile full now.

Your jaw drops at that, thinking back over it and you frown, “No I wasn’t.”

He starts chuckling, disagreeing with you in jest, “So loud baby.”

He just wants to make you sweat a little. You were fine and he knows for certain no one will have heard anything, he just loves getting you flustered.

“I wasn’t, you cheeky sod.” You whine trying your best not to smile and fake annoyance. You pick his tie up and throw it at him as you say, “You’re not all that Healy.”

He laughs, batting the tie away with ease but he tilts his head and narrows his eyes a little, “You say that, but I just gave you two orgasms.”

“And?” You shake your head, letting him know he isn’t god's gift, “So does my vibrator.”

Matty can’t help but think touche, but he opts to tease you instead, “And that's a show I’d definitely like to watch one day.”

Instantly, your face flames and you start glitching. You stumble trying to come up with some backchat but no coherent words form and the moment for you to be slick passes, so you just end up waving for him to leave, “Go and get me a towel, you twat.”

Matty cackles as he leaves the room doing as he's told. Before the both of you know it, you’re in the shower together and even though it should be steamy and hot, it’s probably one of the cutest things either of you have done together.

You’re both giggling and then catching yourselves, mostly you shushing the both of you, as you don’t want to be found out. But despite the both of you not making it interesting in a sinful way, you end up washing the other's hair.

It started with you shampooing his hair, and when it foamed up and his hair went stiff you couldn’t help but giggle when you morphed it into a mohawk. You joke about him looking good until he threatens to cut his curls to bring his mohawk back and you decline his offer with a look that screamed that you would kill him if he did. You tell him not to touch those curls of his.

And when you carry on giggling as you mould his hair into different shapes before you let him rinse it out, Matty can’t help but get a little in his head about everything as he admires you and giggles along.

If society didn’t deem that the two of you were far too early on in your relationship, Matty would get on one knee here and now and properly propose to you because he just genuinely can’t think of anyone better for him. You’re perfect, and the fact you get on like you’ve forever been the best of friends but also have an amazing relationship is the entire package for him.

It might be far too soon, but when you know you know. And Matty has never felt this way so intensely about someone for such a long time, he’d forgotten how it felt to crumble down inside at the sight of someone he felt so much for just existing. The world feels better and brighter when you’re in his presence and you make his heart ache in a way he now knows he’d missed.

After a shower filled with cute kisses, longing touches, and lots of giggles, the both of you get out and head back to his room to dry off. Even when you put his top back on and both get cosy in bed together and you’re just chatting about where he’s going to show you tomorrow, he just holds you close, thanking his lucky stars you came into his life.

Falling asleep to the sound of the other’s voice promises smiles that stay on your faces for a bit until your slumber switches them into pouts, your arms wrapped around each other and fingers clutching tight as if there was a possibility of one of you evaporating if you dared let your hold run loose, legs tangled together and heavy breaths hitting each other’s skin.

Your heart grows in size when you’re in Matty’s arms and you know just how fast and hard you’re falling for him when your brain deems it not enough to have him present daily in front of you, by your side, for he materialises in your dreams and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Even in your sleep-driven imaginative scenes he manages to make you a mess of grins that reach your eyes, rumble of butterflies filling your stomach, tingling going to every inch of your body.

And waking up, finding him there still, with his curls a mess over the pillow and those lips you love to kiss up in a pout as he continues to breathe slowly in his sleep, makes you almost feel like you’ve somehow managed to hit the jackpot you’ve silently been praying for your whole life.

To find the one.

And you think you’ve found him. You really hope you have.

~*~*~*~

Being shown around the infamous Wilmslow by your boyfriend was one of the highlights of the whole tour for you. You had such a good time, you already can’t wait to go back for a proper stay there.

The both of you slept in a little that morning, coming downstairs to greet everyone else at 11:30 which after your late night it didn’t seem to surprise anyone. Thankfully it seems no one caught on to what happened in Matty’s childhood bedroom because nothing was said and there was no knowing glances or anything.

You all had a cooked breakfast that Denise and Lincoln made which acted as a lovely brunch, satisfying your hunger for most of your day out. After you all finished your meal and chatting, Matty decided he was showing you around for the day which you were more than happy with.

Denise throwing her suggestions in for where to take you really made you giggle, Matty sighing at a few of them as he was already going to take you there but she apparently ruined the surprise. But you loved that she told him to take you to where he used to work because that did give you a giggle.

Matty gave you the bigger tour first, opting to take the car to show you his and the boys' old high school and he told you so many stories about the shit they all got up to back in the day. You would pay so much money to be a fly on the wall back then and experience it like a film playing out to you.

He showed you his old house that he lived in before he was a teenager, and on the drive he pointed out the other boys' childhood homes, telling you Adam’s house felt like a second home to him and that his Mum, Sue, always felt like his second Mum.

Your journey ends with him taking you to Carrs park where the both of you have a nice long walk together, sharing stories and walking hand in hand as you find out more about each other. Matty tells you of the summers that he and the boys used to come down to the park all the time and on hot days they would mess about in the river.

He tells you about when Flo would come over for summers to stay with Adam in Manchester instead of staying in Sheffield, and about how she apparently always preferred her Aunt and Uncle’s home over her own. That he taught her how to skateboard at the skate park that was also in the park which he showed you and you made him promise that in the summer he would bring you back and show you his skills.

You both walk around the park for just over an hour before you head back to the car, and Matty continues with his tour. This time he parks up just off Wilmslow highstreet and you walk down with him.

He shows you The Rex cinema which if you both had more time here he would have taken you to see a film but he promises to bring you back for a date night. To make up for it, he takes you a few doors further down and buys you a few cocktails in Revs, your favourite being the Mean Girl one that comes with a post-it note pegged onto the glass that says ‘So Fetch’.

Matty ends up having a few drinks too and it’s only after you’ve both had two cocktails and 3 flavoured shots each that he realises you both drove here. Thankfully that gets quickly resolved by him phoning his brother and he promises Louis that if he comes to drive you both back, he will buy him a bottle of vodka and pay for his taxi from home to the car later.

Whilst in Revs, you spot a photobooth and after how cute the last ones were, you can’t resist doing another one. These pictures turn out to be extremely coupley, but you blame that on being tipsy and loving your boyfriend's lips on your own. The print was black and white and the camera captured your kisses, giggles, and funny faces and you download the digital version instantly so you can put the cutest one as your lock screen.

You go on your merry way after another few drinks, Matty walking you further up the highstreet to the big Sainsburys so he can get his brother's alcohol and you can’t help but giggle at the mere sight of it. Even more so now because you’re tipsy.

Matty already knows why you’re laughing, but when you ask him, “Is this the Sainsburys?” and he confirms it is the Sainsburys, you get so excited. As if him mentioning the supermarket in a song makes it a landmark you have to see.

You make him giggle though when you run off in front of him in the shop and only when he catches you up and you scorn him does he understand what you were doing. It’s when you tell him, “No, pretend you don't know me and come flirt with me.” that he can’t stop giggling.

The fact that you’ve gone hours without food meant the alcohol has gotten to you and your tipsy state is hilarious to him. The fact you want to be a girl he flirts with in a Sainsburys is all the more wholesome to him though, at least this time he knows he will have an effect on you because it’s so easy to make you putty in his hands.

He does the little roleplay you desired and he loves the way you’re grinning at him, even though the pick up line he used was utter shit, he can tell you’re all flustered. And you only get worse when he breaks the charade and whispers other explicit things in your ear of what he would like to do to and with you and you have to push him away from you, the proximity too much to bear when he gets you too embarrassed and worked up.

You can just about look at him again when you leave the supermarket and he grabs you hand as he continues to show you the last few things on his tour of his home. He walks you back down the highstreet, this time on the other side of the road to let you have a nosy at the shops, before walking straight over the road.

He takes you to his Caffe Nero where he used to work and the both of you get a coffee, in hopes to make the both of you less tipsy, before he walks you down to the Chinese he used to work at as a delivery driver. After a quick conversation, you and Matty decide you want something from there for your dinner, so he quickly phones his family to see if they want anything too.

Turns out they do, and after placing a big order with them, Louis comes and meets you to drive the both of you back to their home and you all have a big family meal. The vodka that was bought is cracked open almost immediately and the three of you end up having drinks together while Denise and Lincoln make themselves a mocktail pitcher to share as you all chat about everything and nothing.

Never have you felt so at ease in the presence of your partner's family, especially the first real time you’ve spent with any of them. Maybe it’s because they're northern, or maybe it is just because they are fantastic people but you’ve never felt so welcome in your life and you’re so thankful for them.

You even get told funny stories about when Matty was little, and your favourite anecdote about him is that when he was really little he had a lisp. You start teasing him and saying odd words mocking a lisp and your boyfriend pretends to be unamused, but it gets even funnier when you and Louis start doing it together. Denise and Lincoln cackled as Matty was getting more and more annoyed, but thankfully a kiss to the cheek appeased him when you got up to get you both another drink.

The family's kindness really makes you not want to leave, and you really will reluctantly do so tomorrow morning. Even more so when Denise hugs you so tightly before she heads up to bed and she thanks you for coming to stay and for such a lovely evening, and she makes you almost tear up when she tells you how much of a good fit she thinks you are for her son and how welcome you are to their family.

She calls you the daughter she never had and it makes you get a little lump in your throat and you just squeeze her tighter before thanking her again for being so hospitable to you. You’ve had such a good time, you drag the night out, trying to stop yourself from getting tired even when you and Matty head back upstairs to bed.

Matty knows what you���re doing and he finds it adorable but he reminds you that you’re too much of a Grandma to try and stay up late for two nights on the trot. As soon as he gets you changed into his top and your head hits his pillows, your eyes close and Matty laughs at the effort it seems to be taking you to reopen them.

So you don’t have to, Matty just sheds off his clothes down to his underwear and he gets in bed beside you after flicking the lamp off, but he practically lays on top of you wanting you to cuddle him. Even when you're falling asleep you don’t fail to root your fingers into his curls and you hum in satisfaction as you play with his hair for a few minutes, but as soon as you stop scratching his scalp, he knows you’re asleep.

But he doesn’t follow you, instead he stays up for a little while longer and he moves back just a little so his eyes can go over every inch of your face. He wills himself to learn every detail of your face by heart, almost counting the freckles scattered on your skin as if that was a piece of information he had to live by, as if he had to look for constellations in the sky that resembled them as closely as possible just so he could feel you near when he eventually goes away.

Matty doesn’t realise he’s brought his hand up to your face until you squirm under the touch of his fingers grazing your cheekbones softly. He stills at your sudden movement but his smile grows on his face when you end up humming, like you're encouraging him to continue as you fall deeper into your slumber.

Your growing warmth beneath him and the sound of your hums lull him to sleep, blissfully pressing his head on the pillow after he’s dropped a soft kiss on the tip of your nose and trying his hardest to continue looking at your gorgeous sleepy face for as long as his tired eyes allow him.

Even when his eyes manage to close and it’s too hard to peel them open again, he can see you burned into his eyelids and on the forefront of his mind is every moment he’s gotten to share with you today and these past few days of tour.

Selfishly, he wishes for them to never end. If there’s one thing he would do anything to have is you beside him all the time.

Please, he says in his head and he hopes whoever can grant him that wish is listening.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The next tour stop is Nottingham and driving down there after being in the lads’ hometown is enlightening. It seems like being in their hometown, even if it’s just for a day, fills them up with a surge of energy that had been wearing down throughout the past few months they’ve spent on the road.

So of course, the time it takes you to get there is spent between them all going about the lounge taking the piss at each other and smoking, fighting over the most mundane opinions and even over a chocolate bar they found hidden away in the shelves.

The argument of who deserves to have the chocolate has been going on for over 10 minutes, everyone proposing their reasoning and it is growing more and more ridiculous by the minute. They keep making fun of each other's excuses and loudly counter proposing something that backs themselves up.

“It’s just chocolate, break it into pieces for everyone to have some.” Adam sighs in response to the bickering that keeps growing in volume which mixed with the few hours of sleep he’s had, is threatening to cause him a headache.

“No, that’s not fun.” Ross scowls at him like he’s a buzzkill for being the voice of reason in this debate. Instead, a cruel and fun way to get people to fight over the last chocolate comes to his mind and he smirks as his gaze sweeps everyone in the room. “Who has the saddest story?”

George’s huff in annoyance is loud and it makes you think that this is definitely not the first time a play like this has come about to settle an argument. Still, you frown and ask, “What?” confused at the random prompt.

But your boyfriend answers before Ross can, “It's a game we play, we give a different condition for a story each time to see who wins what we’re short of. This time the saddest story wins the chocolate.”

Your hesitant nod seems to be the only confirmation Ross needed, as if you were the one calling the shots this time to he places the chocolate back inside the cupboard and sits back in the booth to close call out who’s staring with their anecdote.

The first to go is George who talks about how his childhood dog died and though you find it tragic, the guys just roll their eyes and ask for the next one because they’d heard it way too many times before.

The rest of the band follows along, Adam refusing to participate because he finds it pointless and Matty skipping just because he’s fine being a spectator. Polly’s anecdote makes you pout as you listen to her and you end up giving her a little hand squeeze when she’s done. And then it’s your turn.

“Y/N?” Ross raises his eyebrows at you, a challenging look as if he’s entirely sure you don’t stand a chance to win this.

But you surprise him when you straighten in your seat, roll your shoulders and sigh heavily to prepare yourself mentally, knowing you’re so taking the chocolate for yourself.

“I’m playing to win this, okay?” Is your hint of a warning of what’s to come but no one really takes it that seriously.

“Oh go on then, doubt you can beat Polly’s.” Matty taunts this time, a giggle almost weaving through his words.

You shrug, not really giving into the teasing of his words and you start your story, “Okay so this was about five years ago, I was at a party of sorts with my ex. For context I was with him for over three years, we were really happy and I loved this person right.” You almost laugh at the memory, just because of how pathetic it had made you feel for so long until you realised you were far better off.

Clearing your throat, you continue, “Then we go to this party but it's just like at his mates house and we're all there chatting outside around the fire pit and then the question gets asked, ‘where do you see yourself in twenty years’ so each of us go round answering. Everyone mentions kids, marriage, dream jobs, blah blah blah…”

You wave your hand to diminish the importance of what was said and they watch as the corners of your lips twitch in amusement, “So I go and I say everything I hope for, that I want to be happy, have my own house which I share with the person I love, as I'm holding hands with my ex.” Your eyes catch everyone looking attentively at you, waiting for you to continue, “Whatever, I carry on talking about having my own family and everyone is smiling and loving my answer but then my ex has his go.”

You take a deep breath before you go on with the worst part of your anecdote, “My ex said, ‘In twenty years I think I'm still going to be trying to find the girl of my dreams’.”

At that, you hear everyone gasping and when you let your eyes go up to see the group of people around you, you catch a few with their hands covering their mouths and a few just freely letting you see they’re jaw dropped.

What you don’t get to see is the way your boyfriend’s face has fallen completely, his heart sinking to the deepest pit of his stomach and he genuinely feels sick knowing someone had the audacity to say that. It feels like something clicks as to why you were so insecure when it came to you thinking he was ‘settling’ for you after hearing that.

But you’re not quite done yet, chuckling a bit at their reactions, you brush a strand of hair behind your ear and add, “And he didn't just leave it there. He went on to elaborate on what he was looking for. And just like all of you, all of his friends went deadly silent and were just looking at the two of us. I went entirely numb for a minute, but in that time I somehow managed to say, ‘hope you find her’ in the most monotone voice and got up and left.”

A few beats of silence pass, everyone too astounded to even find out what was correct to say in such a situation.

Until Ross breaks it with a simple, “That’s fucking brutal.” which makes you snort out in laughter.

“I know. Can I have that chocolate now?” You extend your hand out for him to give you the prize, you know no one will dare to disagree that your story was the saddest.

And he nods, “Absolutely, fucking hell.”

You watch as the bassist gets the chocolate from the cupboard and gives it to you, and after thanking him softly, you notice the way everyone is still silent, so you turn to them and call them out for it, “Okay, everyone lighten up, it’s been a while since then.”

Thankfully the mood lightens after you win their game, things move on when people get various phone calls and you start concentrating on your phones and what’s on the TV again. Your past doesn’t plague your mind in the slightest as you’ve already buried that away with a nice little bow of trauma securing it away, and you have no intention of letting it get you upset any longer than it did a few years back. It was most definitely his loss anyway and you’re doing miles better for yourself these days.

You move on quite quickly, forgetting about it minutes after everyone went back to normal and you were more sidetracked with baby Hann and the chats you were having with Carly. But Matty couldn’t get it out of his head.

He found that his heart still felt like it had been beaten to a pulp for you. It hurt him a lot hearing how someone who you let yourself be vulnerable with and who you opened your heart to, said something so awful and completely disregarded your relationship like it was nothing.

God knows if someone said that to him it would never not plague his thoughts or have a permanent sinking feeling in his chest. He can’t help but think just how strong you are to have got through something like that and to be as happy and bubbly as you are now.

Since meeting you and getting to know you properly, Matty has always found himself incredibly lucky to easily make you smile or laugh that he can’t imagine ever saying anything so horrible to you. It makes him want to cherish you even more, to protect you from anyone who could be so cruel and hold you closer and tighter than ever.

Which is what he ended up doing. He didn’t bring it up until you were alone that night in the back lounge of the bus just after the last few others had disappeared off to bed.

You’d not long since had a call with Amelia and your manager that started off as business related and as soon as your manager bid you goodbye, you had a good catch up with your best friend. You’ve probably not gone this long without seeing her for a while and you were both getting withdrawal symptoms so you definitely enjoyed your chat with her.

You were equally excited to get back to the fun conversations that always filled the bus, but you weren’t surprised that it was only George and Matty that were coherently talking when you went back to socialise. Turns out you’d been chatting to your best friend for the best part of 3 hours and it was nearing 11pm and with it being an off day everyone was lazy and heading to bed early which you don’t blame them for.

This tour and your boyfriend have really fucked with your sleeping pattern, a month ago you would be tired at this time but now you rarely get tired until 2am. But it meant more time being in Matty’s presence and cuddling up to him awake in his bunk where you talk about anything that comes to mind until you eventually drift off so you don’t mind in the slightest.

Even now after George has just headed off to bed, you just find yourself relaxing in your boyfriends hold that little bit more as you pay attention to the BBC Three show that’s playing silently on the TV. Or that is until your boyfriend gets your attention again.

“I’m sorry that happened to you.” Matty whispers in your ear, a kiss being pressed on your cheek right after and his fingers clutching your waist tightly like you could be taken away from him if he wasn’t cautious.

You let your head rest on his shoulder so you can look up at him and in slight confusion, you ask him, “What?”

“With your ex. I’m sorry he did that. It was awful to hear and that’s not a par on what it must’ve felt like.” His fingers rub circles on your waist, under your shirt so his touch is warm and soothing on your skin.

Turning in his hold, your arms go around his shoulder and your fingers play with the short curls at the nape of his neck as you shake your head, “Oh no, it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay at all.” His eyes are wide, there’s no way he’ll ever come to terms with the fact that you had to go through something like that.

You sigh a bit heavily, because you know he’s right but it’s been so long since then and it has led you to where you are now so you have no complaints. Your nails scratch softly at his scalp, “I know, but I’m glad with the way everything has worked out.”

Softly, like he’s scared it will set something off that you won’t like, Matty asks, “Was he the guy who you last went out with?”

You nod, “He was the last guy, yeah. I met a girl a year after and we were together about eight months but she kept getting jealous of the dates I was going on and the flirting yet she also wanted me to take her to the dates with me so she could meet the celebs and it all just ended in a big argument so I just decided I was done.” His face is screwed up in a frown that lets you know how he finds that, and you give him a side smile as if agreeing on how bad that was.

“Everyone after her has been one night things which were hit and miss but I’d convinced myself I was better off alone anyway.” It’s easy for you to be honest about this all with him, so you continue, “No one was gonna get it and I’d sort of come to terms with the fact that I wasn’t going to find anything again.” and it’s even easier to let him know how it all changed, “Until you.”

You feel his fingers digging into the flesh of your waist as he breathlessly asks, “Me?”

And a giggle escapes you when you reassure that’s exactly what you meant, “Yeah, you.”

“What changed?” One of his hands comes up to lift your chin up slightly, fingertips slowly dragging down your jaw and the softness of his touch makes you lean into it.

“Well for a start I was never going to turn down another date with you.” Your lips purse as you try not to smile embarrassedly at your admission, “But then you came round to mine and you were the sweetest. You hugged me when I got upset at your album, you came round and surprised me and bought me a Christmas present.”

Your heart swells in your chest as you remember, your eyes stay on his and you find yourself wanting to forever be under his gaze because it just has goosebumps erupting on your skin, heat rising up to your cheeks and a tingling hitting every corner of your being, “You make me nervous, and I’ve not felt nervous talking to someone in the longest time, I missed that.”

There’s a need to clear up your words when you realise it could come across wrongly, “But I wasn’t nervous because you’re the lead singer of my favourite band. I was nervous because of you.” His delicate smile reaches his eyes, those crinkles you’ve grown to love showing just how happy your words are making him and he continues his delicate tracing of your features as you add, “The things you do when you talk to me, when you smile at me or smirk at me. You make me the best kind of nervous.”

His thumb teasingly runs across your bottom lip, your breath hitches in your throat and you hold it there until his finger runs down to press on your chin softly, “I still make you nervous?”

“All the time.” It comes out in a whisper but it’s wholehearted because it’s the actual truth, “I love it when you’re not actively trying to make me flustered.” That’s a bit of a white lie, because you do love it when he teases you even though he makes it so hard for you not to be embarrassed by it in public.

Matty pouts slightly, “But seeing you flustered is how I know it’s all working.”

He makes himself sound so innocent like that, you roll your eyes in fake annoyance, “Yeah, yeah. You just love watching me squirm, I know.”

And then that smirk you love breaks on his face and it all comes together when he chats back, “Love watching you do more than squirm.”

It makes you so incredibly giddy, he can definitely feel the heat growing on your face at his words, “Yeah I sure know you do, you little shit.” You narrow your eyes, an attempt to appear menacing.

He snickers at your effort, offering you an eye roll and a sassy, “Oh but you love it.” as a response.

“I do.” You catch your bottom lip between your teeth as you agree. There’s no need to keep anything to yourself anymore, you think, and how liberating is it that you can just cup his face and pull him in for a sweet kiss to show him just how much you adore him.

Your tongue teases his bottom lip and he lets your tongues meet without a second of doubt, he hums when he tastes you and you hum back to let him know how much you enjoy this. It is so easy letting time pass when your lips are moving with each other, your fingers clutching each other tightly and oxygen be damned for your one priority is showing what you feel through your kiss.

You pull back panting when you can no longer kiss without feeling like you’re gonna pass out from lack of oxygen in your lungs and he takes the opportunity to bring back what started it all, “I’m sorry he made you feel like you weren’t enough.”

“Thank you for making me feel like I am.” Your head tilts as you say, doe eyes almost sparkling at him like a love sick puppy for him.

You swear it was impossible to feel stronger for him until he nudges your nose with his and your lips brush together as he says, “You’re more than enough, baby. I’m the luckiest to have you.”

All you can do is press your lips against his but before you can deepen the kiss, you’re pulling back enough to look at him deep in the eyes and let him know once again, “Obsessed with you.”

Matty experiences something new every minute he spends with you, he swears, because it’s so incredible the way his heart easily swells in his chest with everything you do and say. It’s so easy for him to reciprocate, almost painful to keep it in that he’s, “Obsessed with you too.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

The Nottingham show was nothing short of incredible. As per usual the boys gave their absolute best and delivered a gig that you know for a fact people wouldn’t forget (you know the feeling far too well of wanting to go back in time to experience their shows over and over again throughout the years) and Matty’s interactions with the audience made you laugh as per usual. Especially when he gave them four songs to choose from and even after Paris lost to Menswear, he decided to still play Paris after it.

Your note being, I certainly like you better when you take off your clothes ;) x that night assured that he went absolutely unhinged for you on stage during Too Shy. You found yourself sweating at his intent hip movements as his eyes swam through the crowd in search of you, winking your way when he found you and you had to hide behind your hands all flustered while the girls around you squealed, entirely unaware of your presence and thinking it was meant for them.

Leeds comes next and you have the best time too, especially when he opens your note and cackles loudly when he reads, Drive Like I Do, when? instead of a cute note like he had been expecting.

He surprises you when Robbers comes on and he sings the climax of the song in the style of the Drive Like I Do version of the song. You scream so loud at that, joining the crowd's cheers and when the next song starts, you’re left feeling all gooey inside at the fact that the littlest things you can mention will end up in him trying to appease your wishes.

Newcastle is entirely shocking to you. You were excited to be there, especially since Matty mentioned Tim would be attending and you’d finally be able to meet him, but you’re absolutely not ready for the surprise you got once you got to the venue.

It had been slightly hectic, since people were swarming the place so you had to sneak into the venue almost being shielded by George and Ross’ big frames as you hid in a massive hoodie and some glasses to try and keep your identity hidden.

You find yourself shaking in anticipation as you’re walking between George and Ross on your way to the greenroom, trying to have a pep talk in your mind so that you calm yourself down about the prospect of meeting your boyfriend’s Dad.

Of course the lads caught onto your shaking hands that you were wiping on top of your hoodie, Ross teased you for being nervous but George assured you it’d be alright. So you settle a bit, slowly coming to terms with it and preparing yourself to offer Tim a smile as soon as you step through the door of the greenroom.

But when you get there and see that Lewis fucking Capaldi is there, you can’t help but let out a squeal of excitement. The Scottish legend who in a few months you know you already have a date booked in with, makes you so excited. You run to hug him hello and he’s equally excited to see you there.

Tim makes you cackle when he says, “I’ll be offended if I don’t get hugged just as enthusiastically.” behind you and you let go of Lewis to greet the comedic legend. You’re glad your reaction to Lewis’ presence served as an ice breaker because then the conversation with Matty’s Dad flows easily and you find yourself laughing at the fact that you were so nervous about meeting him when he’s an absolute sweetheart.

Spending the day in Lewis’ company is as funny as you could’ve imagined and the filming of him taking the piss out of what Matty does on stage makes you cackle laughing. Thankfully with the other singer distracting your boyfriend, you could easily sneak your note into his pocket today, and you felt quite proud of that one.

That night you stay back behind the stage to watch the show (the crew gave you some in-ears so you could still hear everything the way that you would if you were in the main bit of the arena). Tonight your note was Obsessed with you and everything but Newcastle aren’t winning the cup baby xoxoxo and when the camera shows Matty snorting at it and shaking his head, pocketting it again before grabbing his acoustic guitar, it made you giggle and when Lewis asked you about it and you told him, he started laughing too.

This had all come about because like George had been roped into supporting Newcastle United by his best friend, you had been dragged in to support Manchester United because that’s Amelia’s football team. Yesterday was the first leg of Newcastle's semi-final in the Carabao Cup which you all watched and you were happy for Matty that they won 1-0, but tonight was Manchester United’s first semi-final match and you had a good feeling your team was going to win. Regardless though, you did think that you would end up playing your boyfriend’s team in the final, and you can’t let him get too comfortable so you kept teasing him yesterday saying regardless of if they win, Manchester United will beat Newcastle.

The show moved on quickly, and it wasn’t a surprise that you started tearing up when Tim goes on stage to sing All I Need To Hear and you’re glad you’re right next to Lewis because he makes you laugh when he makes a joke about how the band would be more successful if Tim replaced Matty.

When it’s time for Lewis to go on stage, you’re left alone until your boyfriend surprises you with his presence after he quickly got changed and the rest of the band tagged along so you all could watch Lewis together.

Of course you lot piss yourselves laughing when people go absolutely mad when the text Special guest: Harry Styles comes on the screen and then it only grows louder once the door opens, but to their disappointment it’s not the Watermelon singing man.

Lewis makes it funnier when he waves at everyone, laughter can be heard from the crowd and it grows louder when he walks up to the mic and says, “My name is Harry Styles and it’s good to be here. I know what you’re thinking; ‘He looks different. He sounds different’.” And with one last adjusting of his guitar strap, he adds, “But make no mistake I am Harry Styles.”

But your amusement dies in your throat in a split second when he starts strumming on his guitar and he starts a song you have been dying to hear for far too long.

If anyone told you a few months ago that you’d be hearing Antichrist be performed live at a The 1975 concert for the first time by Lewis Capaldi, you would’ve thought it to be the most far-fetched joke anyone could come up with. But here you were, already crying at Lewis singing the first line to a song you’ve waited so long to hear in concert.

Matty doesn’t realise how bad your state is until Lewis sings, “Is it the same for you?” and you shake with the sob that rips through you. The visuals on the big screens were making him laugh and he assumed your soft shaking was just a product of your laughter, the sound being drowned by the loudness of the crowd singing along. He’s entirely taken aback by your reaction and in instinct he wraps his arms around you from behind you.

He hears you tearfully but softly singing the next verse but you fully let your broken voice rumble with the crowd for the third verse.

The buildup to the bridge starts and they lads take a few seconds of silence to clock onto your state and giggle. They didn’t expect you to have such a reaction to Lewis singing the song, and Ross is a cheeky bitch so he points it out.

“This is exactly why we’re never doing this song.” If you’re crying this hard then the bassist wouldn’t want to imagine how badly the people in the crowd were looking.

You don’t even allow yourself to form a proper answer and instead you let the song dramatically reply to him. You point your finger at him and George who is right beside him and belt out the bridge almost entirely enraged at what he’s just had the cheek to say.

But that doesn’t appear menacing to them, George and Ross laugh and you can feel Matty’s chest shaking with laughter behind you. Even Adam was giggling away at your emotion and it was only making you sob harder as you sang. You don’t even have the mind to think about how embarrassing this might be when you look back because you’re completely overcome by emotion.

They’re not done taking the piss out of you when the song is over, and you’re left shaking your head at their jokes whilst you wipe the tears off your face, Matty’s lips pressing kisses to your neck and shoulder but you feel his breath hit your skin whenever he laughs at any of the guys’ quips.

Lewis announcing, “I was going to sing one of my songs next, but I thought it would just be better to play a Taylor Swift song.” has you gasping way too loud, interrupting another joke Ross was about to make at your expense but your reaction to the Scots’ introduction of the second song is enough to earn you a round of cackles.

George is louder this time and his giggles are so contagious you find yourself laughing with them, that is until Lewis starts singing the Taylor song you’ve loved so much since you were a teenager and the waterworks start again.

It is all such a mix of emotions, you can’t help the tears streaming down your face. It’s the song being played right after Antichrist, it’s the feeling of Matty’s arms wrapped tightly around you and how he sings it softly to you in your ear. You’re purposely keeping your volume to a decent point so you can hear your boyfriend singing it to you.

If he wasn’t holding you, you would’ve melted and died on the spot. Your legs feel wobbly from the crazy storm of butterflies fluttering inside your stomach and there’s a burning heat that runs through your veins that melts your insides.

“You alright baby?” Matty asks you softly when the song is over, brows furrowed as he rests his chin on your shoulder.

You nod softly, just letting your tears run down your cheeks until they stop but he’s on the task in a matter of seconds. He stands before you, hands cupping your jaw and thumbs swiping at the tears staining your skin.

Through his in-ears he hears they gotta go back on stage in a minute but before he rushes back with the lads, Matty showers your face with pecks. When he reaches your lips though, he can’t help himself and locks your lips in a sweet kiss, one that lasts longer than needed because George is yelling at him they need to go and so is the crew member talking in his in-ears again.

You pull back and push him softly so he can go, and just because you’re feeling better and in a jokey mood now, you give his arse a slap before he’s gone from your side. He looks back at you with a smirk, right as he gets to the door and winks at you. You’re left smiling like an idiot, waiting for the show to continue.

Lewis teases you throughout the rest of the show, at first for crying at what he did but then when Matty did something like wink into the camera or thrust at the audience. The Scot was a big tease and whilst you pretended to hate him for it, you had such a fun evening singing along to the boys with him.

Unfortunately, with there being a show the following day in Liverpool and Lewis heading back out on tour, you couldn’t go out and have a few drinks together that night. But you all bid him goodbye, you give him a hug and tell him that you and Amelia will be seeing him soon.

It felt bittersweet saying goodbye to Tim, but he told you that you had to come back up to Newcastle with Matty as soon as you were free to and he would happily show you around the city properly. Before you even know it, you’re back on the road.

You passed out pretty much as soon as you got on the bus and Matty found you in the bunk fast asleep about 5 minutes after you said you were heading to bed. Just before he climbed in to join you, he pressed a sweet kiss to your lips hoping not to wake you and he was grateful he didn’t disturb you when he cuddled himself into you and slowly fell asleep himself.

Waking up outside the arena in Liverpool was an interesting ordeal. There wasn’t a gated section where the buses could go here so when you and Matty woke up and were hoping to head out for a walk, it was a little difficult because there were fans outside.

So a little plan was devised to combat this, and it was orchestrated and quite literally carried out by George. The drummer suggested that you wrap up in a hoodie and have the hood up and that he would carry you out and into the venue, and people would automatically assume you were Charli and that you were asleep.

The queen of pop had gone back home to London after the Manchester show, along with Carly too but no one but those of you on the tour knew that. So George carrying a girl into the arena seemed like a perfect way to get you in unseen and keep your relationship underwraps.

There was an alternative, that Ross carry you inside in the same way, but as soon as you made a joke of that's a good way of socialising with him more, Matty chipped in quickly and cut that idea off. So it was Matty’s jealousy that decided that you would be carried the 10 metres into the venue by George.

And thankfully it went fine and there were a few fans who made a fuss but George just smiled and kept walking with you in his arms. Your legs were around his waist and your arms wrapped around his shoulders and you hid yourself away into his neck until the metal doors closed.

Once they did, you looked up at George and grinned, he laughed at your grin and smiled back. You couldn’t not tell him as you were in his arms though, “You smell really good.”

“Thanks babe.” The drummer winks, resulting in you immediately becoming flustered.

Matty heard and saw all this, so with a brief look of jealousy and distaste, he nudged his best friend, indicating to put you down. However, the drummer instead smirked, “Nah, she’s mine now mate.”

If that didn’t have you internally choking, the drummer moving his hands to your arse for the briefest few seconds to tease his best mate did. You’re winning at life well and truly, you’re certain you’ll die a happy woman.

After that, George let you return to your feet and you and Matty went about your day. It was quite early and both of you didn’t sleep well really despite falling asleep quickly. The bunk was definitely beginning to get uncomfortable now, so you’re certainly excited to be getting closer to being back in a proper bed.

Matty however, thought ahead and booked the two of you a day room at a nearby hotel which you both walked to after you had a sneaky walk around the docks, thankfully not being recognised by anyone. The room was stunning, and not even because it was fancy, it was just because after not sleeping in a proper bedroom since you were in Manchester it felt like a luxury.

A luxury which both you and Matty tarnished completely because you both did more than sleep in the bed and made most of the time you had alone with no need to worry about being quiet. You both napped after you wore each other out but then you both showered together which ended with both of you on your knees one after another.

After checking out and getting a taxi back to the venue, everything went smoothly. There was even a surprise waiting for you, which may be another best moment of the tour, because thanks to the fan who threw a sausage roll on stage back in Manchester, Greggs have sent the band a PR package.

It’s a glorious sight. 13 hot sausage rolls and a dozen different pasties for you all to feast on before the show. It was amazing and you’ve never seen food disappear so quickly in your life.

After that, you and Matty both greeted Denise and Lincoln who made the trip up to come and watch the show again. You were sticking to being in the pit again tonight and you went out just after Denise said goodbye to the boys.

When you got to the pit, you couldn’t help but laugh when you saw the crowd yelling and waving at Denise who is up at the top of the first tier of seats. She waves to her fans like the true queen she is and before you know it the show starts.

The show is as amazing as it always is and the crowd is as loud as ever. You’re screaming along with all of them, every line to every song at the top of your lungs but your yells of excitement are interrupted the moment the consumption interlude comes and, while everyone is screaming even louder at the sight, you’re speechless in embarrassment.

You’ve never felt such regret for sleeping with your boyfriend before, but when Matty did the consumption interlude that night and he took his shirt off, revealing to the 11 thousand people (Denise and Lincoln included, plus the band and the crew) that you’d scratched his back to shreds earlier. Your jaw dropped when you saw the red marks lining his shoulder blades.

You quite literally consider running away and never showing your face on this tour or to anyone on it afterwards but thankfully the show carries on and after a few songs you manage to forget about it. It’s a shame everyone else doesn’t forget though, because when you head backstage after the set has ended, you get endlessly teased for it.

If that wasn’t bad enough, the day after, the fans figured out that it wasn’t George carrying Charli into the venue in Liverpool. The bright side was that they didn’t know it was you but they found out it wasn't the queen of pop in the drummer’s arms because Charli attended an event at the same time as the gig back in London so the conspiracies went on and on. Twitter seemed to connect the girl in George’s arms as the one who had marked up Matty’s back and they seemed to just take the piss out of Matty for it because he wasn’t strong enough to carry you inside himself.

It made you and George laugh, but your boyfriend not so much. The next day he took every excuse he could to pick you up off the ground whether it was just to prove the point, or just to twirl you around to make you giggle. At one point he gave you a piggyback ride and he ran around the room filled with all the boys in it, even making Jordan take pictures of the two of you.

Jordan sent you both the pictures that night, and one of the pictures that came out where Matty is running but you and him towards Jordan is so funny. In the first, you and your boyfriend are giggling as he's zooming past the camera but you are both grinning line lunatics as you clutch him.

The second one though is your favourite because it was caught just as you lent around over Matty’s shoulder and his head was twisted towards you, and you were both laughing at each other as he held you up. You were fairly certain you kissed him afterwards too just before Matty raced back around the room.

Before any of you knew it, you were on the plane over to Ireland. The night you got there, you stayed in a hotel and with your free day before the next gig and Matty showed you around the sights. You had such a fun day being a tourist and your boyfriend showed you his favourite spots he always tried to come to when he was in Dublin. And to end the night off, you and the rest of the boys all ended up going to a pub where traditional Irish music was being played inside and it was so much fun.

The Dublin show was the second to last date of the tour and everyone had been incredibly excited about it. Of course, it had been a bit sad seeing this leg of the tour coming to an end but it had all gone so well that you felt more like celebrating the conclusion of such an amazing tour than sulking over it being over.

But it wasn’t the nostalgia of seeing the tour ending before your eyes that made the mood come down when you were all gathered in the greenroom at the venue, instead it was Jamie letting Matty know what a certain tabloid was planning on putting out about him on the next day’s paper.

You instantly caught the change in his behaviour and did your best to cheer him up a bit, which thankfully wasn’t that hard because he seemed to have gotten over it when it was time for you to go out into the crowd and him to get on stage.

That night, you kept your note sweet but funny, using his lyrics to try and steal at least a giggle out of him. When he read that it said, You got a pretty kinda dirty face x he chuckled to himself and pocketed it with a smile that reached his eyes. You were relieved seeing him smiling harder now after the note and you silently hoped it would stay that way until the gig ended.

But you celebrated too soon, because he went on to let the large crowd know about the situation right before singing Love It If We Made It and your heart got heavy seeing the clear distaste and upset on his face.

Matty didn’t let it hold him down though, because he went on to give a passionate rendition of the song and you got goosebumps as you watched him enraged and growling out the lyrics.

Unfortunately, after the show was done, the high came down quickly when you all walked back into the greenroom to the news of the article having been published online already and reading it was upsetting.

You watched as your boyfriend read it multiple times, getting more and more angry every time but he kept it to himself, only letting scoffs and shakes of his head show to everyone. The rest of the band read it and called bullshit on it, rolling their eyes at the way something had been twisted and taken way out of proportion.

It was when you got in the bunk together later that night, in the tour bus on your way to Belfast, that Matty properly let his emotions show.

He let angry tears fall from his eyes silently with you cradling his head on your chest, your right hand rubbing his back soothingly as your other hand was on his head and softly scratching his scalp.

It broke your heart hearing him getting this worked up and upset, your head a tangle of confused thoughts as to how people could be so quick to jump to the worst conclusions when taking a singular second of a moment out of context to fit their villainizing narrative.

“I’m sorry.” Matty apologised as he sniffled, picking up his head from your chest slightly so that he could wipe the tears off his cheeks.

But you shook your head, letting your hands come up to cup his face so you could take on the task of wiping his tears, “Don’t apologise, baby. It’s what I’m here for.”

You pulled him back down to rest over you and he didn’t have it in himself to deny the comfort that you were bringing him so he nuzzled his face on the crook of your neck and, right after he left a soft kiss on your skin, he quietly asked, “Am I a bad person?”

“No, you’re not.” You replied in a heartbeat, not even a hint of doubt crossing your mind, “People just love making others seem worse than them so that they can feel superior. It’s so fucked.” Your fingers tangled in his curls and pulled on them slightly, just so he could look at you as you continued, “Everyone knows the person you are, and you would never do that. You don’t stand for that. They’re always looking for something they can turn into a scandal and it’s so unfair that they do it at your expense.”

His teary eyes watch you intently for a few seconds, silence engulfing you entirely but your eye contact doesn’t break. That’s how you catch the tear that falls from the corner of his eye with your thumb quickly and you have to bite your bottom lip not to cry yourself.

Matty doesn’t say anything and you can’t blame him, it’s upsetting enough to see him go through this so you cannot imagine what it must feel like being called such a name for an action that got completely misinterpreted.

He kissed the palm of your hand softly, wet lips pressed on your soft skin adoringly with his eyes closed as if he’s indulging in it all.

“Let’s just go to sleep okay?” You suggest delicately, whisper breaking the silence and the heaviness of the moment, and you’re so glad that he nods and melts right into you.

After a long minute, you hear Matty sigh and you stay awake until you’re certain he’s asleep. Only when you register his steady breathing and the absence of his sniffling, do you will yourself to close your eyes and get some rest.

~*~*~*~ 30th January ~*~*~*~

Today, you woke up still feeling your chest heavy after everything that had happened last night. But it’s Amelia’s birthday and she's flying over to join you on the last day of tour, so you were excited to go pick her up from the airport, but that unfortunately meant having to leave an upset Matty for a bit just as the crew is starting to bring everything inside the venue.

Earlier that morning, whilst you had gone to the small bathroom in the bus, Matty had read the article once again and when he caved and went on Twitter to see what was being told, he felt his blood starting to boil in anger.

You can see it on his face even now that you’re back. You had managed to make it back to the venue, this time with Amelia beside you, just in time for soundcheck and despite the fact that Matty sounds amazing, it’s written all over his face just how much this is all bothering him still.

On the way back to the venue, you told Amelia what happened and the boy's reaction to it, so she was up to date. But despite the slight atmosphere, you weren’t going to let it affect your best friend's birthday.

The boys greet her warmly when she arrives and they all ask how she’s been. She gives you all the gossip that you’ve missed out on from the chicken shop offices along with other industry stuff that she’s heard. The boys find it quite amusing watching you both back together, it’s easy for them all to see you’ve both missed each other, it’s certainly like what any of them would be like with any long time apart.

Before long, it’s time to soundcheck and whilst you see Matty’s mood dip a little at that, you don’t comment on it despite it being written all over his face. The last thing you think would be helpful is drawing attention to it in front of everyone. So you just peck his lips quickly before you part ways and you head down to the pit with Amelia, fully intending to dance to a few songs with your best friend. And dance you do, to Too Shy, It’s Not Living, She’s American, and a couple more. However, the short practice takes a turn.

It surprises you when the singer turns to George and tells him they’re soundchecking Pressure right after they’ve finished soundchecking Oh Caroline. You feel your chest contract as you hear him angrily spout the lyrics, constantly taking sips of the water bottle that he keeps throwing to the ground beside his feet and rubbing his face like being in his own skin is annoying him.

The feeling in your chest gets even worse when after a few songs, he mumbles something into the mic and the lads start playing Me.

The second the song starts and you recognise it, you feel your heart sinking and you can’t even try and force a smile at Matty when he catches a glimpse at you. His eyes almost evade you as if it hurts him to have you seen him this way, but he keeps getting annoyed at every little thing from then on.

First, he keeps complaining about the volume of his mic compared to the rest of the instruments and after the third time he signals the sound guys to change it, he huffs and rolls his eyes as he gives up on everything. The next thing that happens is that he messes up the lyrics and makes them all start again, and that happens twice which has Ross grumbling under his breath at Matty.

Unsurprisingly, you and your best friend watch as the tension sweeps over the stage. The bassist muttering things clearly annoys Matty a bit more than it normally would and it seems like his thoughts start tangling together after that because he misses a line and starts later than he should’ve and the second he realises his mistake, he explodes in anger.

“No- Stop. Stop!” His arms are wailing around, brows in a permanent frown and his cheeks a hint of pink from how worked up he’s getting, “It’s all wrong!”

Adam lets his head hang at the outburst and George just watches Matty like he’s trying to find the best words to approach him with but Ross has had enough with his attitude so he just airs out his thoughts without much of a filter, “If you’re gonna change the setlist last minute then at least fucking try to properly soundcheck it mate. We’re all doing our parts alright.”

Matty knew they were all playing it right and it was just him who was unable to get it together and at least practice it well, “I fucking know Ross, okay?!” He’s almost shaking from anger, feeling like Ross isn’t even trying to understand where he’s coming from, “Fucking hell. Go and get called a fucking Nazi and see how it feels.”

“You think that hasn’t upset us all?!” Ross hisses in annoyance, “We fucking get it Matty but you’re being a right dick right now.”

“You know that it isn’t true so why are you letting it get to you this much? You’ve never let this shite get to your head before, why now?” Ross has a point with what he’s saying but the reasoning goes over Matty’s head when the bassist adds, “We’ve been through shit like this before, just stop caring like you always do.”

Matty takes is the wrong way and he’s fuming as he says, “And what’s that fucking meant to mean?” He doesn’t even let Ross speak though, because he’s quick to interrupt whatever he’s about to say with a scoff, “You’re such a fucking twat, Macdonald. That’s it. I’m not doing this anymore.”

Not even caring to put the microphone back on its stand, Matty throws it to the side and starts walking off stage, long strides that have Ross shaking his head, “Yes, fucking leave. ‘Cos that’s the best solution.”

Matty turns around to spout a venomous “Fuck you Ross.” and the last thing you hear him say before he disappears back inside the venue is, “Great fucking friend you are, you arsehole.”

You’re fully speechless watching all that happen before you, Amelia squeezes your forearm in shock and that snaps you out of your trance.

Your eyes go to Ross, who looks away when your eyes meet, then to George who just gives you a crooked smile and finally to Adam, who smiles softly at you like he’s trying to comfort you from afar.

“It’s just one of his tantrums, he’ll be alright.” Adam waves off as he sets his guitar on its stand, “He just needs a bit of time.”

You nod and sigh, the heaviness in your chest becoming more prominent, “Should I go check on him?”

“If you want?” George says once he’s down from where his kit is set up and shrugs at you with a bit of worry on his face.

Ross is the one to warn you though, “He might snap at you though, so don’t take it personal if he does.”

“Right.” You nod absentmindedly, trying to think of where Matty might be. You let your bottom lip free from between your teeth and turn to your best friend before you’re off to find your boyfriend, “Sorry Ames, I’ll be right back.”

Shooting Amelia an apologetic look, you start walking past her and she manages to get a little chuckle from you when she calls, “S’okay. Go get your man.”

You make a dash for the backstage area and arrive at the greenroom the quickest you can, and thankfully Matty is right there pacing the room with his head in his hands. His hair is sticking out in every direction from how much he’s pulling on it in frustration.

Careful to not startle him, you clear your throat as you walk into the room and stop when you’ve barely crossed the threshold. “Baby-” You try to ask him if he’s alright, but he interrupts your words when he looks up at you, red eyes with tears threatening to spill out at any second, and basically throws himself into your arms.

The weight of his body hitting yours has a huff slipping past your lips but your arms are quick to clutch him tightly and you allow him to just silently cry into you again. Instantly, you start whispering sweet nothings as you try to calm him down, but nothing works for a while.

Slowly, you guide the both of you to the nearest settee and when you take a seat on it, you encourage him to get comfortable with you. He has his legs thrown over your lap, his head hidden away in the crook of your neck and his arms wrapped tightly around your waist.

Matty is fully silent the whole time, just letting everything out on you and you try your best not to get upset yourself as he cries. 10 minutes must go by when he sniffles continuously and takes deep breaths as if trying to calm himself down, and he lifts his head up once he’s managed to stop crying but not before leaving a bunch of pecks on your neck.

“I’m such a twat, I’m so-” He tries to apologise in a panic, retreating to his space on the settee so he peels himself off you and that has you frowning.

“Don’t.” You interrupt his attempt at an apology and turn to him with a soft expression, your hand comes up to his face and cups it, thumb rubbing on his cheek and feeling the stubble creeping on his skin. “It’s okay, baby. Nothing to apologise for. You feeling a bit better?”

Your boyfriend lets his eyes close at your touch and he hums as confirmation in complete honesty. He’s so glad he can let himself be this vulnerable into you and he certainly notices just how much comfort you bring him because just your presence helps him settle down a bit after what had happened.

“Good.” You mumble in response and, cradling his head, you pull him onto you so he can rest on your chest while you hug him.

Despite all the bullshit that has gone down, seeing how you react in this situation and how you comfort him has his chest swelling. There’s no denying it anymore that you’re one of the best things that has ever happened to him and some thoughts start to clear up in his mind, all about the feelings he has towards you and a hint of how he might’ve underestimated them a little.

About 5 more minutes go by before the band and Amelia come back into the greenroom, their chatter quieting down when they walk into the room. They are wary about the state Matty was in and they don’t really want to disturb him if it was affecting him that much. There will be a much better moment to talk about it later so they will keep their mouths shut about it until the time comes to bring it up.

Amelia walks up to the drinks table and gets you and herself a water bottle, it really is so that you can give it to Matty because she doesn't want to disturb the singer. But when she walks up to you and hands you the bottle, you smile at her and thank her and the mention of her name makes Matty lift his head up to see your best friend.

He offers Amelia a forced side smile and you’re both surprised when he says, “M’sorry for ruining your birthday Ames.”

Amelia clicks her tongue and waves him off, “You haven’t! There’s nothing to apologise for, Matty.”

Your boyfriend gets himself up and pulls her into another hug, “Let me make you a drink, as an apology.”

“Maybe that apology I will accept.” Amelia giggles and she gives Matty a tight squeeze.

Your curly haired brunette smiles at your best friend before letting her go, and he looks between you and her before clapping and rubbing his hands together, “Let’s get the party started then.”

You don’t get in the way of that at all, George gets involved immediately grabbing a can out of the fridge and Rebekka and Polly all grab drinks too. Thankfully once music gets put on, the atmosphere settles a little and you relax that little bit more. And you’re really thankful to everyone wanting to make Amelia’s day special.

After you all end up having your first drink and raising your glasses to your best friend, you quickly grab your boyfriend’s attention for a moment, just to tell him, “I’m just gonna run to the bus. I need to get something, very quickly.”

“You remember the way back here, right?” Matty double checks, and he’s about to offer to come back with you until you assure him.

“I do.” You promise, and you cheekily ask, “Can you please make me another one of those cocktails for when I get back?”

Matty just grins though, “Of course baby.”

Quickly, you kiss him before you head out and Matty’s heart races that little bit when you turn back before you walk out and you catch him smiling at you.

He feels himself blush at the way you wink at him before you disappear off and he takes a second to calm down before he preps the drink you requested. He chats to your best friend with ease and Matty can tell himself getting that little bit better because she provides him with a good distraction. Even if she is jokingly asking if you’re boring him on tour yet or if your excitement has dwindled during the gigs.

When you come back 10 minutes later, everyone notices because when you come back in because as you do, you flick the lights off and when all eyes go to the door, they see you smiling with a birthday cake in your hands. You start off singing Happy Birthday to your best friend and you walk toward her with a grin and laugh through the lyrics when you see her cackling at the fact you have bought her a children’s Spiderman cake.

You’re glad she found it funny as all of this Andrew Garfield hype definitely wasn’t going to leave her anytime soon. After you set the cake down just before the song finished, Amelia blew out her candles and turned to you to give you the biggest hug ever. She thanks you a bunch of times and you giggle telling her how much you love her and have missed her and that you hope she has a fantastic day. After you say how excited you are for her to open her presents, and she promises she’ll open them when you both get back to the hotel, she notices that you’ve changed.

“Outfit change?” Amelia asks with a grin, as she knows exactly where she’s seen this outfit on you before.

You grin and nod, “Had to get my party fit on, Ames.”

“Course.” She laughs, and you notice the way Matty grins as he realises what you’ve changed into as she says, “You look hot.”

You wink at her and smile, “Thanks bestie.”

She winks back at you before turning around herself and heading over to socialise with Ross.

“Party outfit?” Your boyfriend moves over and wraps his arm around your waist. He can’t help but knowingly ask, “You’re wearing this for me?”

He doesn’t even have to ask. He knows you are. Why else would you be wearing red leather pants paired with a cheetah print, long sleeve top?

You shrug nonchalantly, trying not to let the grin tug at your lips, “Maybe?”

“Brings back good memories.” Matty says as he comes around to stand in front of you and he wraps his arms around your waist.

You feel heat rise to your cheeks at the thought of your first date. You genuinely can’t believe that your favourite singer is now your boyfriend, and it all started in a chicken shop in Cricklewood. “Amazing memories.”

Matty has genuinely never been so glad he agreed to an interview. And yes maybe he will eventually admit that he requested to have the date with you, but he’s beyond glad that he did because you have changed his life so much, and it’s certainly for the better.

“The bandana is missing though.” He points out with a soft pout on his face, you can’t hold back from pressing a quick kiss on his lips.

“I didn’t pack it. Sorry baby.” You truly wish you had taken that red bandana with you now but you think the outfit looks recognizable enough without it.

He quickly finds a solution in his head, “I can sort that out.” A red bandana is easy to get, he figures.

“‘Course you can.” You scoff out a laugh, but your amusement settles deep in your chest to add to the adoration you feel for this man. “Kinda wish it was raining right now, you know?” Your voice raises in pitch slightly and your smile grows bigger on your face when you think back to that moment, “Wanna kiss you in the rain again.”

Matty blushes and smiles so big, it reaches his eyes, wrinkles showing at the edges and it makes you melt as he says, “Do you?”

You hum as you nod, “I really do.” And just to taunt him you feign pity as you say, “What a shame, isn’t it?”

His eyes go from your down to your lips and up again continuously, you lick your bottom lip purposely as if daring him to kiss you but he sighs shakily and agrees, “What a shame.”

You want to laugh, his self control clearly crumbling because his gaze keeps dropping down to your lips, so you wrap your arms around his neck and with a toothy smile, you say, “Just kiss me, silly.” and Matty is not one to say no to anything you want.

However, your kiss is interrupted by Amelia and Ross gagging loudly beside you as they approach you with shots in hand. Turns out having tequila shots was the birthday girl’s wishes and you are pushed to downing the hellish liquid multiple times while you wait for the show to start.

Right before you’re off to the pit, you all have a little toast to the tour and to Amelia and it’s so cute being part of this little family. It warms your heart looking back and seeing how everyone had welcomed you into the tour and it’s even more special when you see your best friend also be treated like one of the family.

You’ve caught her giggling around with the band all night, having long conversations with Polly and Ross and even whispering about god-knows-what to Matty before you leave. It has you curious how they seem to be scheming something in secret until the very last minute you have in the greenroom.

But you forget to ask what they were talking about when you’re rushing out of the greenroom and it’s hilarious because, since you’re so tipsy, you and Amelia are giggling uncontrollably as you make your way through the pit.

Your note tonight is perfect for what Matty has schemed with Amelia, and he thinks it’s such a cute coincidence that you’ve written, Baby you look so cool x (you’d originally written babe but scribbled the e and written a y just underneath it) without knowing what is going to happen when the band starts playing Robbers.

Next comes the Charlie Chaplin cover of Smile which never fails to make you do just that, even if Matty acts all drunk and lonely on stage as he sings. You think it’s a beautiful song and you’re so happy that you’d got to see him sing it so often. But what happens next shocks you and the entire arena beyond belief.

It sobers you up watching the bit play out on stage, unbelievably so when you see Matty break down into tears holding Ross’ shoulder and apologising to him as Ross is forced to stand there and not react. You can’t even tell if he’s crying for the bit or not, it worries you.

As soon as you knew the consumption interlude was coming, you headed backstage needing to know if everything was alright because even though he had played 6 more songs after that bit had happened, he seemed a bit off.

So you appeared backstage and your arms opened up for him to run into them the second you saw him and you’re so glad he clutches you tightly and promises you he’s alright after you ask him if there was something bothering him.

He didn’t have much time to stay and chat to you, since the crew had gotten the stage ready for the at their very best section quickly so you reluctantly let him go with a sweet kiss that he thoroughly enjoys despite being rushed back onto stage.

Once he’s gone back on stage with the lads, you figure it’s better for you to be close to the stage just in case he gets upset again, so you go to the far left side of the stage where typically the crew watch the show from and stay there for the rest of the show.

Or at least that is what you were planning to do until your boyfriend takes the opportunity of An Encounter drowning the arena to start a little monologue which sparks your curiosity.

Matty smiles into the microphone and adjusts his in-ears as he walks over to the edge of the stage and leans forward as if he’s about to tell the crowd a secret. “You know, this next song has become a lot more special this past month and I wanted to share with you the reason for why that is.”

Listening to those words knowing that Robbers is next makes you turn slowly to your best friend and you find Amelia smiling brightly as you and you just know she has to do something with this because of the mischievous glint in her eyes.

There isn’t a chance for you to even ask about what’s happening when she drags you into the back of the stage and up the stairs so that you’re right beside the house. You’re so confused but you have to take quick steps so you don’t fall and it is when you’re almost by the door of the house that she pulls out a piece of red fabric and when a bit of light manages its way over where you are standing, you realise it’s a red bandana - the one you were missing.

“Put this on.” Amelia holds the bandana out for you.

But you’re so confused about everything, and why you’ve been moved to behind the stage, and what the bandana is even for, so you blankly ask, “What?”

“God- Okay,” Amelia half laughs, before she takes control of the situation as your confusion isn’t helping, “I’ll put it on you then.”

Your best friend spins you around so she can tie the material at the back of your head before turning you back and adjusting the bandana so it’s over your nose and it’s in the perfect position.

“What’s going on?” You ask as she’s doing this.

Your confusion doesn’t help when you can also hear screams from the audience and Matty’s muffled voice too. Clearly somethings going on and you’ve been left in the dark.

Your best friend looks you dead in the eye and pleads, “Trust me okay.” But you can’t settle.

“Ames, what’s happening?” You repeat yourself and she must be able to see the panic in your eyes because she answers you.

“You’re gonna go out there for something your boyfriend has planned.”

It’s an instinctive reaction to immediately be defensive, “What?! No!”

“Yes, come on!” Amelia grins, and quickly goes on to guilt trip you, “For me? For my birthday?”

“Ames…” You trail off, feeling like you’re frozen because you have no idea what you’re meant to do. Especially when she hands you a black bandana.

But your best friend spells it out for you, “As soon as Matty opens the door, you’re gonna tie this around his neck, okay?”

“Okay.” You say in a bit of a rush, your blood flooding with adrenaline so you blindly accept what she’s telling you. She adjusts your red one on your nose again, making sure it’s perfectly positioned as she instructs, “And keep this one around yours.”

You not without really knowing you’re agreeing yet you respond, “Okay.”

“Good luck,” She grins at you like a proud mother, “You got this.”

“Amelia-” You’re about to beg her for something more, but before you can the door in front of you opens, almost making you jump.

Your boyfriend stands at the open door with his hand already out for you to grab, the dreamiest smile on his face and you’re so nervous, you’re feeling a rush of a million emotions in one second.

And then your gaze drops to his chest in full show because his shirt is open and when you realise he’s somehow managed to get the Robbers shirt and is proudly wearing it for the song. It knocks the wind out of you, your throat goes dry at your lack of knowledge of what’s about to happen that involves you but Matty looks so happy compared to earlier that you’re willing to take part of whatever he’s planned.

That sultry, “Hey baby.” which makes your stomach flutter, snaps you out of the initial shock.

“What are we doing?” You ask through the bandana, almost frozen in your spot but he encourages you to take a small step forward.

“Putting on a show.” He pulls back and grins before he looks down at you and squeezes your hand as he says, “You look gorgeous.”

“I-” Whilst the compliment makes you blush, you’re not really sure it’s the time as you want more instructions from him than flattery. Regardless though, you end up stuttering a, “Thank you.”

“I got you baby. Let’s go.” Matty squeezes your hand tightly and this time you don’t hesitate to step out to him as you hear An Encounter begin to fade into your favourite song. Your boyfriend turns to you once more at the entryway to his house, the both of you just beside Rebekka and he still shields you from most people as he leans down to say into your ear, “Do what we did the other day in soundcheck, okay. I’ll stand on the table and when I go to sit down you crouch, okay?”

“Okay.” You nod complacently.

Kneel down in front of him, you can do. You’ve had practice at this point and you’ll be fine.

Your boyfriend checks once more, looking into your eyes intently for any discomfort you may be feeling as he asks, “You okay?”

“Yeah.” You promise him, nodding.

You trust Matty completely. If he wants you to do this, and be a part of his show, you’re going to do it as best you can.

The singer grins, leaning down again quickly to promise, “I got you.” and as you smile beneath the bandana, he also kisses just over your ear which makes you get flustered all over again.

And then suddenly you’re hit with a mass of screams and it’s difficult to even listen to the music that is being played around you. If you didn’t have those in-ears already in you would be fucked.

Matty walks just one step in front of you, pulling you across towards George, but only for a step until he turns back towards you and pulls you into his body. His hand lands on your waist and he slow dances you towards the white door as the drums kick in and everyone screams again.

Little do you know, more screams take place because on the screen, it comes up with, Special Guest: New Robbers Girl. It’s a detail which you will certainly be laughing at later but in the moment you have no idea as your boyfriend is dancing you across his stage.

You giggle, knowing exactly what he’s doing and what he’s referencing as you dreamed about someone doing this with you when you were younger and you first watched the music video that still to this day has you in a chokehold. Despite your heart beating wildly, you let him lead you like that, spinning you both around until you are through the door and see Polly and Jamie who give you big smiles.

That’s the moment Matty frees you from the short dance but he pulls your arm until it's fully extended and you’re gently dragged along in the direction of the stairs. It's again another reference to the beginning of the music video and you love it with all your heart.

When you reach the bottom of the stairs, it doesn’t take you long to reach the place where you know you’re gonna be standing which is right by the coffee table and once your boyfriend turns you around by the waist so you’re facing him, you catch Adam smiling at you and it definitely helps to settle your nerves a bit.

But Matty starting to sing brings all of your attention back to him, goosebumps erupt all over your skin at the charged energy of the arena and the way he sounds with the crowd singing along.

In your hands remains the bandana Amelia gave you just before the door opened, and you remember what you’re meant to do with it when you clutch it tightly between your fingers. So you bring it up to his neck so you can tie it on the back, but your actions still when he sings the next line staring directly into your eyes.

“God only knows but you’ll never leave her,” the conviction in his eyes makes you melt inside, your knees get weak and your heart swells and the flood of every feeling this man brings you comes in even stronger when he reiterates into the mic, “Never.”

You aren’t sure how you manage to tie the bandana around his neck when that happens, but you’re soon smoothing your hands from his shoulders down to his sweaty taut chest and you genuinely feel like you need to pinch yourself just to make sure you aren’t dreaming.

His fingers wrap around your wrist and slowly he walks backwards until he hits the coffee table and he gets up on it. He doesn’t even have to guide you where to go because you’re positioning yourself right in front of him, looking up as he continues to sing.

The lights on stage showcase his beauty, and you can’t help but get lost in how good he looks in his element. It’s different seeing it from up close, the brown of his eyes glistening under the lighting and his curls being illuminated like a halo around his head.

“Begging babe stay, stay, stay, stay, stay.” You watch him intently and you can’t help but grin at the way he nudges the microphone against your chin for that final stay.

Matty can tell just how big your smile is from the way your eyes are half closed and the apples of your cheeks moving to bring the bandana up the slightest bit. And he smiles just as brightly, nothing has ever felt more right to him than this.

As he’s singing, “One more fight,” Matty slowly steps down from the table and you know your queue. You start to kneel down and when you do Matty sits on the end of the table.

You’re singing along with him, not giving a shit if he can hear you or not or whether it’s ruining what he had planned but you can’t help yourself. He’s singing your favourite song to you.

He reaches the first, “Will I know you.” and as Adam’s guitar begins to ring in the background, Matty leans in and you know what’s coming. You welcome the way he gently grabs your jaw over your bandana and he pulls you in.

In the short gap between the verses, Matty presses his lips over yours, through the red material you’re wearing, and you can’t help but smile as you close your eyes to kiss him back. It’s a weird sensation, kissing but not quite, but you can feel his smile through it and you can see the joy on his face when you both pull away seconds after the crowd erupts in screams.

What the fuck is happening? Is all that’s going through your mind at the moment.

Your mind just can’t really grasp reality at the minute, not when your boyfriend is making one of your teenage dreams come true. Hell, your boyfriend is your teenage dream come true.

Both of you stay in that position as he continues onto the second verse, with you singing along as he looks into your eyes. Matty can tell you’re doing this, and he doesn’t need to see beneath the material to know that your lips are pulled into a huge smile, he can tell just from your eyes alone.

“You’ve got a pretty kind of dirty face.” Matty grins over his microphone as he sings that line at you. But he doesn’t stop there, he gently traces his finger down the centre of your face as he does and it has people screaming that little bit louder, along with you doing the same internally.

As he continues, he doesn’t let his touch stray for long. Instead, he takes a piece of your hair and starts toying with it. Twirling it around his finger over and over as he sings, “And when she’s leaving you’re home, she’s begging you to stay, stay, stay, stay, stay.”

Your eyes glimmer with adoration and your heart feels like it’s about to burst in your chest when he sings, “There’ll be a riot, cause I know you.” and he takes a hold of your wrist where ‘Be a riot’ is inked on your skin and he plants a chaste kiss over it.

It isn’t long that you can stay short circuiting over the gesture, because he’s sliding his hand up from your wrist to intertwine your fingers and helping you back up to stand on your feet.

The song starts building up, his voice becoming more passionate and so does his touch which goes from your hand to cup the side of your neck, bringing you a step closer to him. His fingers lace through the strands of your hair, twirling them softly before letting them fall.

And you know it then, what he’s going to do, knowing which line is sneaking up on you and you nod, reading his mind about it. It’s subtle and reassuring, and it’s warmth that envelopes you as it pours out of both of you when you know that this is it.

Matty’s finger tentatively comes to rest over the bridge of your nose, hooking on the edge of the bandana and he slowly peels it down your face as he sings, “But if you just take off your mask,”

The screams of the crowd when your face is finally revealed are deafening, yet it feels like you’re inside of a bubble. Just you and Matty. No one else. And this is your moment, just you two and there’s absolutely nothing else you could ever wish for.

Your cheeks hurt from how big you’re smiling, and his own smile is making it harder for him to continue singing. That and how badly he wants to seal this moment with a kiss, how badly he wants for everyone to know just how strongly he feels about you, how badly he wants for everyone to see how you’ve got him at your mercy entirely because he’s sure there’s nothing you could ever ask that he wouldn’t do.

“Sing it for me babies!” Matty shouts to the audience and he holds the microphone out towards them so they can scream, ‘Now everybody’s dead!’ but your boyfriend has other ideas for you two.

With his other hand, Matty cups the back of your neck and firmly and fiercely kisses you as the crowd screams the lyrics at the both of you. He lets the wire fall over his arm as he drops the microphone so he can get it again with ease later, but he brings his now free hand to your waist, wrapping it around your lower back pulling you into him, until he consumes you entirely.

It’s instinctive that your hand roots into his curls at this point, the other grabbing hold of his open shirt, pulling it towards you making sure he can’t escape either. Your heart is pounding, entirely running on adrenaline, and completely overwhelmed with the feelings you have for the man who’s holding you in his arms.

Matty never wants to let you go and you hope he doesn’t either. Over the loud screams you can barely hear the song anymore but you know he’s missed more than just that one lyric. It’s only when you just about hear the others singing through your in-ears, “He’s got his gun.” that you realise you’ve both got too wrapped up in the moment.

Yet, still in your hazy mind, you manage to register your favourite part of the song and you’re the one who pulls back and breaks the kiss solely to tell him, “Babe, you look so cool.”

His face is flushed, curls dishevelled just how you like them and that loopy smile on his face that melts your heart, and he looks into your eyes in a way that you just can’t describe, his lips parting and letting a soft exhale to hit your mouth before he sings to you, “You look so cool.”

Suddenly, he remembers he’s meant to sing so he’s hastily getting ahold of the mic again, but he interrupts himself and cuts the run he’s meant to do as he sings the word ‘cool’ when he watches your lips move as you sing along and he can’t be arsed singing anymore when you’re right there in front of him.

He throws the mic to the floor, the wire falling down his arm so he’s free to cup your face with both hands and pressing your lips together feverishly. His arms wrap around the back of your neck, and he brings his hands up to your hair to pull on it softly once before he’s crossing his forearms behind your head so he can pull you impossibly closer to him.

You moan softly into his mouth at his desperation, matching it with the way your fingers dig into the flesh of his waist where you’re holding him tightly as if there was a chance that he could be snatched away from you if you weren’t careful. You kiss until you’re lost for breath, only parting when you need to for air but it's never for more than a split second.

There's a push and pull between you as the rest of the band finish playing the song with huge smiles on their faces. If Matty came into the kiss a little too strong you’d try and take a step backwards but he quickly follows you, keeping you in the kiss, and he would lean backwards pulling you forwards.

The song unfortunately ends and that's when you force yourself to pull back from the kisses. But when you do, Matty just grins and he turns towards the crowd, pulling you with him and he moves so he can hug you from behind quickly so you can take in the applause.

“All for us baby.” He says into your ear, and you can’t help but turn around to quickly hug him, a little embarrassed being up here in front of so many people.

Your boyfriend giggles but doesn’t hesitate for a second to hug you back as the applause rings on. After a second though you pull back and Matty takes your hand in his and he starts moving the both of you back over to Adam’s side of the stage so you can get to the stairs.

Matty lets you walk in front of him, making sure you get up the stairs alright, and then he lets you walk back across the top of the stage towards the ‘front’ door. George and Rebekka grin at you as you walk past which gets you a little more embarrassed but you embrace it when you get to the door and you look out at the huge audience again.

You blow them all a kiss and give them a big wave and smile which makes everyone scream again and it makes you giggle. When you turn to look at your boyfriend again, he’s already grinning at you and he gives your hand a squeeze, and just the way he’s looking so cute and so gooey, you give him another kiss.

It’s quicker than your last few but it means just as much as those ones. You can feel each other's smiles which cuts it a little shorter but you’re grinning like fools when you step back towards the door again.

Like a gentleman he opens the door for you and as you’re about to go through he pulls you back in for another kiss. It’s a short kiss but it’s one you cherish so much, even more when you part and at the same time you both mouth, “Obsessed with you.” at each other. You take a step through the door but before you can walk through, you feel yourself get all flustered as he looks at you, before you can walk through the door though he holds your hip and tells you, “Wait here a second baby.”

Matty quickly pecks your lips one last time, before he jumps down from the top stage, onto the settee and then he quickly crouches down to pick up the microphone from near the edge of the stage where he threw it earlier. He sighs with a toothy grin on his face once his eyes are back on the crowd. Seeing this many people witness you and him finally out and not sneaking around makes him incredibly happy.

“Y/N Y/L/N, ladies and gentlemen.” His voice rings through the speakers, as he turns to watch you wave goodbye to the mass of people in front of the stage and you quickly blow him another kiss before you turn to walk back through the house’s door.

“Wow, what a girlfriend reveal!” Matty breathes out with a giggle at the end, as soon as you’ve disappeared behind the door. He’s so giddy, he just can’t conceal it and he doesn’t really want to so he gives in and proudly shares with the crowd as he grabs he walks up and down the stage, “I’m a very lucky man. The luckiest in fact, can you believe I’ve managed to snag one of the hotties from Chicken Shop Date?”

The crowd gets loud again but the noise doesn’t stop the thoughts from leaving the singer’s mouth entirely unfiltered, “I know I can’t. Still have to pinch myself every morning when I wake up next to her. She’s truly the woman of my dreams.” Matty feels his cheeks get hot at the admission, a string of giggles slipping past his lips.

At least the screams he gets as a response feel like validation so he continues with it, “Sorry for being soppy but, I mean… You lot know her, how could I not?” He’s trying to elongate the mic’s wire, knowing which song is next on the setlist and how he’s gonna want to go all around the stage.

But as he finishes unknotting it and pulling it the most he can, he looks back up to the people before him and adds some more, “Isn’t she just fucking gorgeous as well?”

Matty truly could speak about you for hours, it’s not even been a month since you’ve officially gotten together but he has so many things about you pinned to the forefront of his mind and there’s so many things that he thinks about you that he could honestly find himself lost in sentences regarding all that you are and what you’ve achieved and every little thing you do.

So it’s no surprise that his tongue wants to let loose and spill all of these thoughts out but then he hears George call him, “Simp,” through his in-ears and all of the band giggles when it stops Matty in his tracks.

He turns around to look at the drummer with a glare and he calls him out, “Alright George, piss off. I don’t say shit when you’re with Charli.”

It makes the crowd laugh and holler, some of them spouting comments in the air that get lost in the chaos of so many people shouting at the same time but in a couple of seconds it settles and a particular scream manages to make itself clear out of the crowd and Matty cackles loudly into the mic, “Someone’s just said foursome.”

George laughs into the mic as well, and Matty manages to hear something along the lines of, “You can be in the corner recording.” in between the crowd’s loud screams at the prospect of the lewd proposition.

“Let’s not bring that back to Y/N’s attention please, I’ve already gone through that chat.” Matty admits with a cheeky smile, hoping that you’re listening to this and already picturing in his mind the way you must be flustered at this talk being had on stage in front of thousands of people.

And you are flustered, fanning yourself because you feel scorching hot after everything that has happened in the past ten minutes. So much so, you’ve had to sit down and you’re now watching the screens backstage as you listen to your boyfriend.

“I feel faint.” You let Amelia know, your brows are softly pinched together from how lightheaded and hot you’re feeling but still staring at the screen in front of you with a look that Amelia reads instantly.

With the adrenaline dying down, you can’t quite believe you’ve just done that. You got your robbers kiss, your moment to your favourite song that you’ve only dreamed about since 2013. And now, you and Matty are public. You can’t stop smiling despite the way your heart is beating out of your chest.

Amelia sits beside you, her arm going over your shoulder and she pulls you into her as she giggles before kissing your cheek.

“You’re down bad.” She concludes, she can see it written all over your face and it shines through your eyes and her heart swells in her chest for you.

She’s never seen you so happy.

Despite how soon it may be, you nod in confirmation, “I am.”

From the way your cheeks hurt from smiling so hard and the tingling you feel rushing to every corner of your being, you know it’s more than the adrenaline pumping through your veins that is making your heart beat wildly. After what just happened on stage, there’s no way you can deny that your feelings for Matty are getting stronger with every second you spend by his side.

It’s crazy. It’s rushed. It’s far too soon. You can almost clearly hear everyone telling you.

But you know in your heart, nothing and nobody has ever felt more right.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: We hope you enjoyed this one because we truly loved writing it so much. We were so emotional thinking about how this was originally the end, so glad we got more content to continue writing about! We just wanted to say that we’re not having the Friedland podcast in this story because we have no interest in touching that subject in a work of fiction that we consider an escape from reality. Instead, since this is a continuation of NRIACC Matty and he wouldn’t have ever taken part in that, we’re having the Brits as they were meant to happen and we’re so excited to write that evening and share it with you guys. Thanks so much for reading again, and for your patience and all the love you give this story, yous are the best! xx 

Taglist: @red---moon​ @drinkurkombucha​ @vinylandcoffeecollection​ @better--oblivions​ @kennedy-brooke​ @faveficz​ @indierockgirrl​ @slutformattyhealy​ @kmsmedine @cecefaith​ @benkidgenius @avasjunkpile​ @spicyraccoonlordking​ @lizzylynch1​ @ofbluesandyellows​ @kipperthedog2004​ @slutforcoffein​ @madamedesmond​ @iamhallucinationnn @imagines4peeps @siwiecola​ @eaglestar31 @neverlieliliac​ @olliewhinchester​ @internetmultifandomfangirl @wellwellhereiam​ @dania7361 @kurdtbean​ @mawanji @jazzymariexoxoc @picklesandsprinkles @home-of-disaster​ @maelialuv​ @londonalozzy​ @ker0senebunny​ @golden-hoax​ @thouarntsage​ @belledawnidk​ @confusedcrayon​ @how2understand​ @harringt8ns​ @sheisaaantisocial​ @brumantrack @real-actual-human-person​ @eddiemunsonsgroupie @hemmings8376​ @darlingbravebelle @defnotgracee​ @fabulouslyflamboyant5 @deamus-liv​ @itsjustsocialimplications​ @deamus-liv​ @itsjustsociallimplications​ @lauren--maex​ @ithinkivegonemad11​ @stclen-sweethearts​ @stuck-in-fictional-worlds @befrwime​ @getbillzoned​ @hazskillerqueen​ @conanbeshifting​ @thereisaplaceintheheart​ @jasmine06blog​ @blancastans​​ @luvrattyhealy @wendyspotatopeeler​​ @oh-caro​ @journey-to-consistency​ @kizzywh​ @ihatemat-tyhealy​ @l0ve-0f-my-life @julezs-bl0g​

Please let either of us know if you want to be added to the Taglist x

[oosa3x]

secret moments (rd3)

ii. begin again

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁⋆.˚✮˚.⋆. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

pairing: rúben dias x f! celebrity! reader word count: 10, 910 warnings: feelings of anxiety/doubt author’s note: again i don’t want to butcher the portuguese language so the conversations between rúben and his agent that are italicized are meant to be them speaking in portuguese

Almost a week later, Rúben was in the middle of his post-training routine when his phone buzzed on the bench beside him. He glanced at the screen, seeing Pedro, his agent's name flash across. He wiped the sweat from his brow, grabbed the phone, and answered.

“Hey, Pedro. What’s up?”

There was a pause on the other end before Pedro’s voice came through, slightly confused but amused, "Rúben, care to explain why I’ve been sent an NDA from Y/N L/N’s lawyers?”

Rúben froze for a second, the words catching him off guard, "Wait… what?”

“Yeah,” Pedro continued, clearly enjoying this a little too much, "Just got an email from her team, with a non-disclosure agreement. They want me to review it. Something about you having dinner with her?”

Rúben groaned, rubbing the back of his neck, "Ah, right… that.”

Pedro laughed, "So you’re casually having dinner with Y/N L/N now? And you didn’t think to mention it?”

Rúben shifted, feeling the heat rise to his face, "We met at 6lack’s concert the other night, we hit it off, and I asked her to dinner. That’s all.”

Pedro hummed thoughtfully, "And now I’m handling NDAs for you from the biggest popstar on the planet. I have to say, Rúben, this is a new one.”

Rúben sighed, "Look, I wasn’t expecting all the paperwork. But, you know… her level of fame. I guess it’s just how things are done.”

Pedro chuckled, "You’ve dealt with high-profile situations before, but this… this is different.”

“Yeah, I know,” Rúben admitted, "But it’s not a big deal. Can you just handle the NDA for me?”

“Of course,” Pedro replied, still sounding amused, "I’ll look it over. Just remember to stay focused—you’ve got training, and I’d hate for this dinner to become a huge distraction.”

Rúben smiled, appreciating Pedro’s concern, "Don’t worry, I’ve got it under control.”

Pedro laughed again, "Alright, Rúben. I’ll take care of it. And good luck with your…dinner.”

Rúben shook his head, but he couldn’t help the small smile tugging at his lips. You had followed through with your promise, and the reality of it all was sinking in. Now, all he had to do was prepare for dinner. But no pressure, right?

Pedro’s voice crackled through the phone again, his tone a mix of amusement and seriousness, "Oh, and by the way… It says here that if you breach the contract, you could be fined for anywhere between $1 million to $10 million, depending on the severity.”

Rúben blinked, sitting up a little straighter, "How much?” he asked, his heart skipping a beat. He knew an NDA was standard for someone as famous as you, but the stakes suddenly felt much higher than he’d anticipated.

Pedro chuckled softly, clearly entertained by Rúben’s reaction, "Yeah, that got your attention, huh? They’re not playing around. This is serious business, Rúben. I’ve seen tough NDAs, but this one takes it up a notch. She’s got great lawyers.”

Rúben groaned, rubbing his forehead, "Ten million dollars for breaching it? What am I supposed to do? Not breathe during dinner?”

Pedro laughed, "Look, it’s more about protecting her from any unwanted attention or leaks. I mean, she’s a huge star, and I’m guessing she’s been burned before. As long as you don’t spill any secrets to the media or post about it on Instagram, I think you’ll be fine.”

Rúben sighed, "Yeah, I get it. Just wasn’t expecting this much... legal pressure.”

“Well, that’s the price of dating a megastar, huh?” Pedro teased, "Just don’t breach the contract, and you’ll avoid that $10 million bill.”

Rúben chuckled, though the weight of the NDA lingered in the back of his mind, "I’ll be careful. No talking to the press, no social media, no problem.”

Pedro’s voice softened slightly, "Good. It’ll be fine, Rúben. Just keep things low-key, enjoy the night, and don’t worry too much.”

“Thanks, Pedro,” Rúben replied, grateful for the advice.

“Anytime. I’ll finalize the NDA and get it back to her team. Now go focus on your game—and your dinner,” Pedro added with a smirk in his voice before ending the call.

Rúben sighed, leaning back on the bench, staring at his phone. Dinner with you was going to be a little more complicated than he’d imagined, but he couldn’t help the flicker of excitement building inside him.

You had also told your manager and publicist about the date, obviously, expecting the usual reactions—some cautious excitement, maybe a few questions about who this guy was. Instead, they immediately shifted into full-on research mode, typing away and cross-referencing like detectives uncovering a hidden scandal. It was the same routine they went through for anyone who got close to you. Being her meant that even something as simple as a dinner invitation required a background check.

Of course, you’d done your own research, too. After all, you couldn’t afford not to. You’d agreed to the date with Rúben, intrigued by his easy charm and genuine interest in music, not just your fame. A quick search confirmed what you knew: he played for Manchester City and Portugal. He wasn’t exactly an unknown, but all you could find were mostly details about his professional career. You had scrolled past images of him on the field, mid-game action shots where he looked like a force of nature. There were a few interviews, some charity work, and a couple of awards for his defensive skills, but nothing screamed “media circus” like the ones you were used to dating. 

Now, the sound of the makeup brush softly sweeping across your skin was almost meditative, a steady rhythm in the otherwise whirlwind of activity that surrounded you. You sat in the makeup chair, script in hand, though your mind kept wandering away from the lines. The trailer was buzzing with the quiet hustle of your team: Amelia sitting across from you, iPad in hand, rattling off a list of tasks that seemed to grow by the second, and your makeup and hair stylists.

"…and we need final approval on the cut for the music video. The director sent over two options for the final edit again, so you'll have to choose one today," Amelia said, scrolling through her screen without missing a beat. “Plus, the feature you did for Elijah’s track. His label's asking for approval on the single artwork. I said we’d get back to them, but the deadline’s coming up.”

You nodded, barely registering the words. The past week had been a blur of early mornings on set and late nights running through lines. This new film—your first big role in over a year—had consumed most of your time since arriving in Manchester, but somehow, it wasn’t the movie that kept pulling at the edges of your focus.

Amelia continued, “And, of course, there’s the perfume. They sent over the final concept for the bottle. We have to let them know by tomorrow if you want to make any other changes, because they’re going to start production soon.”

You glanced up from the script, meeting Amelia’s eyes in the mirror. “Yeah, I liked ‘Option A’ for the music video, I loved the artwork, and I love the bottle, no changes needed.” you replied, more distracted than usual.

Amelia nodded, tapping her screen and continuing her list. “Right, and Rúben’s agent sent back the signed NDA we sent him yesterday.”

That caught your attention.

You looked up from your notes, surprised. “Wait, he sent it back already?”

Amelia nodded, not even glancing up from her phone. “Yep. Signed and everything. Got it in my inbox this morning.”

A mix of relief and curiosity washed over you. Rúben hadn’t even hesitated. “Huh. That was quick.”

“He’s efficient, I’ll give him that,” Amelia said with a small smile, still not looking at you. “I think he’s serious about seeing you.”

You took a breath, trying to process it all. It was a good sign, right? He understood the importance of protecting your space, your career, your life. “Yeah, that’s... good,” you said softly, the reality of the situation setting in.

You let the script rest in your lap, your fingers curling around the pages as you tried not to look too obvious about the way your pulse quickened. It had been a week since the 6lack concert, a week since Rúben had slipped into your life with that casual confidence, asking you out like it was the most natural thing in the world. And it had been, in that moment—natural. You hadn’t thought twice before saying yes. 

Now, though, with the space of a few days and the reality of your world crashing back in, things felt more complicated. The layers of your life—the NDAs, the contracts, the eyes always watching—didn’t just disappear because you wanted to have dinner with someone who wasn’t in your industry.

Amelia glanced at you then, her expression softening. “He even suggested a place in the city for dinner. Low-key.” She paused, gauging your reaction, “He seems really genuine.”

You bit your lip, thinking it over. Rúben had been nothing but considerate since the moment he texted you the day after the concert—he’d gotten your number from Ricardo—checking in to see how your schedule was going and making sure you didn’t feel pressured. It was refreshing, really. He wasn’t pushing for some grand, over-the-top date, just something simple. But you knew that even a “simple” date in your world required layers of preparation.

“Do I have time?” you asked, glancing at Amelia’s iPad where your schedule was probably packed to the brim.

She tapped at the screen, scrolling through your appointments. “If you don’t mind having dinner after an eleven-hour shoot day, we can squeeze it in tomorrow night.”

“Eleven hours?” You sighed, leaning back in the makeup chair as the artist moved to your eyes. 

“Welcome to the glamorous world of filmmaking,” Amelia said dryly. “But seriously, if you want to go, we’ll make it work. I’ll get security to check out the location Rúben suggested. I can handle it.”

You thought about it for a moment, considering. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to see him—you did. But even the thought of it came with the weight of everything else: the media attention, the inevitable gossip, the protocols. And Rúben… he didn’t really know what that meant. Not fully.

You were famous-famous. The kind where one blurry photo could send Twitter into a meltdown, where rumors could spread with a single comment taken out of context. Rúben was a footballer, sure, and not an unknown one, but his world wasn’t consumed by the same level of public obsession. He lived a life with a little more freedom, a little more room to breathe. You weren’t sure he understood how little of that you had left.

But the thought of him waiting for your reply made something flutter in your chest—a feeling you hadn’t experienced in a while.

“I want to see him,” you said finally, keeping your voice calm, like it wasn’t a big deal. “But let’s keep it discreet. No paparazzi, no fanfare. I’m talking top-secret here.”

Amelia smiled, nodding, her fingers already moving to make it happen. “Consider it done. I’ll update you once everything’s confirmed.”

The makeup artist finished, stepping back to give you a final look in the mirror. Your face was flawless, but even the layers of foundation couldn’t hide the anticipation building under your skin. Tomorrow night, after the cameras stopped rolling and the lights of the set faded, you’d step into a different kind of spotlight—one where it wasn’t your career on display, but something far more personal.

You thought about what it meant to potentially do this to Rúben, your mind wandering as Amelia's voice faded into the background. You’d stalked him on the internet more than once over the past week, trying to piece together a better picture of him. Amid the match highlights, interviews, and charity appearances, one thing was made clear to you: how private he was. He talked about it with such ease, as though it were the most natural thing in the world to guard your personal life like a treasure. There was a certain calmness in the way he spoke about it, like he knew exactly where to draw the line between the field and his life outside it.

Could you really do this to him? Could you tilt his entire world on its axis?

You’d been down this road before. You knew what would happen the moment a photo of the two of you surfaced. The whirlwind of speculation, the invasive questions, the opinions—oh, the opinions. Everyone would have one. From football fans to the music industry, people who knew nothing about either of you would have something to say. They always did. You could already imagine the headlines: Man City defender Rúben Dias and global pop sensation Y/N L/N spark dating rumors! And once the narrative started, it wouldn’t stop. Not for a long time. 

It didn’t matter that he was already in the public eye—this was different. He wasn’t the kind of athlete whose personal life fed the media machine. He wasn’t out there for show; he kept his circle tight, his private life nearly impenetrable. And here you were, potentially about to obliterate that. 

A wave of guilt swept through you. You knew what the attention could do to someone, especially someone who wasn’t used to it on this scale. It could be suffocating, relentless. And it wouldn’t just be the paparazzi. Social media, gossip sites, random strangers dissecting his every move, his every interaction with you. The noise was constant, and it was exhausting. You’d learned to live with it, but could Rúben?

You shifted in your chair, your grip tightening on the script in your lap. He hadn’t asked for this. He’d asked you out, sure, but he couldn’t possibly know the avalanche that came with it. You wanted to be selfish—you wanted to see where this could go. But at what cost? Was it fair to bring him into the chaos that surrounded your life? 

You could already picture the look on his face when the cameras started following him to training, reporters asking him about you instead of his performance on the pitch. You didn’t know if he’d signed up for all that, and that uncertainty gnawed at you.

You felt Amelia’s eyes on you, sensing your hesitation even as she ran through the call sheet, “You okay?” she asked gently, breaking through your thoughts.

You forced a small smile, nodding. “Yeah… just thinking.”

But the guilt lingered. Could you really drag him into your world, knowing what would happen? Would he be able to handle it? Or worse—would it change him, warp the private, grounded person you’d come to admire in such a short time?

You didn’t know. And that uncertainty hung over you, making the decision feel heavier than it should have.

He had this calmness about him that completely unarmed you. That was, without a doubt, the scariest part. Your walls were usually impenetrable—years of living in the spotlight had taught you to keep your guard up at all times. But with Rúben, it was different. You found yourself talking to him like it was nothing, like you were letting him inch closer to parts of yourself you typically kept hidden from the world.

And you couldn’t figure out why. 

Maybe it was because Ricardo, someone you trusted implicitly, had vouched for him. He’d spoken so highly of Rúben when you’d first mentioned him after the concert, describing him as solid, down-to-earth, the kind of person who didn’t need to be the center of attention. That had reassured you. But that wasn’t all of it.

No, it was Rúben himself. There was something about him, something that felt like a breath of fresh air in the middle of the chaos that usually consumed your life. His easy smile, the way he had listened to you more than he spoke, the way he seemed genuinely interested in getting to know you—not the version of you plastered on billboards or dissected by the media, but the real you. 

That calm confidence of his was disarming. It made you feel like maybe, just maybe, you could let your guard down for a second. And that scared you because every time you did that in the past, it hadn’t ended well. You knew better. You were supposed to be better. You told yourself you’d be better. 

But then Rúben would text you, or you’d think back to that night after the concert, when he’d talked about music with a kind of passion that matched your own, and all the caution you’d built up over the years seemed to fade, just a little. 

He didn’t deserve the dark cloud that always seemed to loom over you. 

So, again, you found yourself wondering: should you put an end to this before it ever really starts?

It would be the easiest option. You could send a polite message, thank him for the lovely conversation, and tell him that your schedules just didn’t align. You had plenty of reasons to fall back on—your filming commitments, the relentless pace of your career, the complexities of your world that someone like Rúben shouldn’t have to navigate.

It would be so simple. Clean. You could move on without guilt, without dragging him into the whirlwind that was your life. He would return to his own, continue as the quiet, private man he was, and you’d both walk away without the inevitable chaos that would follow if you continued down this path and the general public would be none the wiser. 

And yet, even as you toyed with the idea, something inside you resisted. Because a part of you wanted to see where this could go.

That was the crux of it, wasn’t it? Rúben was a breath of fresh air, something different, something real. He didn’t seem fazed by your fame, didn’t want anything from you other than your time. There was no pretense, no hidden agenda. He wasn’t trying to leverage your celebrity, and that alone felt rare and valuable in a way you hadn’t expected.

This was the difficult part about dating you. The weight of it was almost unbearable at times—the way one simple dinner could spark a wildfire of speculation. You couldn’t possibly be spotted on a first date without headlines appearing the next morning, suggesting marriage plans, analyzing every glance, every smile. The assumptions were always dramatic and relentless, as if you were navigating life with a script already written by the world.

At least with the men you’d dated in the past, they’d understood the rules. They knew the game because they played it, too. Fellow singers, actors, people in the same industry—guys who didn’t flinch when a camera flashed or when their names trended on Twitter for a day. They knew what they were getting into because they lived it, too. Even when things went south, at least they knew the stakes going in. The pressure, the speculation—it wasn’t foreign to them.

But Rúben? He lived in the spotlight, sure, but it wasn’t the same. Football had its own level of fame, but he hadn’t been subjected to your level of scrutiny. He’d been able to maintain that sense of privacy, to keep his personal life tucked neatly out of the public’s reach. How could you expect him to be okay with what was waiting for him on the other side of one dinner with you?

Even now, just the idea of going the extra mile for privacy—just for one date—felt overwhelming. And it wasn’t even about what the press might think; it was about the reality of your life. You’d have to go through so many hoops to keep it under wraps. NDAs, a carefully vetted location, your security team on high alert, making sure no one could snap a photo or overhear a conversation. It was exhausting to think about. And all of this… just to see if there was something there, if this thing with Rúben could even get off the ground.

The stakes felt so high for something that was supposed to be simple. You weren’t even sure if the chemistry would translate beyond the concert, beyond the texts and the flirty exchanges. What if you went through all this trouble, all this effort, and then… nothing? You’d have pulled him into your world for a fleeting moment, made him part of a spectacle that would haunt him for weeks, maybe months, for no reason.

You sighed, your fingers tightening around your phone. That was the hardest part, wasn’t it? The what ifs. You couldn’t move in your personal life without thinking ten steps ahead, without calculating every possible outcome. It was how you’d learned to survive in this world, but it also kept you from taking risks, from just living.

The reality was, even if you could keep this date under wraps, it wouldn’t last. You couldn’t keep a relationship hidden forever. The media would find out eventually, and then it would be everywhere. And what would that do to him? To both of you?

You glanced down at your phone as it buzzed, Rúben, of course. It would be so easy to back out, to save him from the inevitable. But the truth was, you didn’t want to. Not yet.

Maybe that was selfish. Maybe it was reckless. But for once, you wanted to see where something could go without overthinking every consequence before it even began. Maybe you owed yourself that much.

My god.

You couldn’t believe you were doing all these mental gymnastics over a guy you spent, what, an hour with backstage? One hour of conversation, some texts, and suddenly you were spiraling, weighing the consequences of a first date like it was a life-altering decision. It was pathetic, really. You should’ve been able to shrug this off, to compartmentalize it the way you did everything else in your life. But here you were, running circles in your head, trying to predict the future and safeguard both your world and his.

And for what? A guy who—while undeniably attractive, grounded, and charming—was still a relative stranger to you. It wasn’t like you were head over heels. This wasn’t some whirlwind romance, not yet. It was just… potential. The spark of something new. 

But the spark of something new had the power to completely change everything. You’d been here before. You knew that once the public got wind of a new relationship, there was no turning back. Your life would become theirs to dissect, and his—someone who wasn’t used to that level of attention—could be pulled into the chaos, whether he liked it or not.

You exhaled, leaning back in the chair, suddenly feeling the weight of it all press against your chest. Why was it so hard to just… go out with someone? Other people seemed to manage it just fine. But with you, it was always this dance of “what if” and “how bad could this get?”

You glanced at your phone again, the unread message from Rúben staring back at you. It was probably something simple. He wasn’t asking you to commit to anything monumental, wasn’t trying to force you into anything. It was just a date, a moment to see if there was something real between the two of you. But you already knew there was no such thing as just a date when you were involved.

You thumbed the screen, finally opening his message.

I found a place. Really private, no one will bother us. I spoke with the owner. Let me know if you’re still up for it.

Your stomach twisted the second you read it. Rúben had been nothing but patient—gentle, even—and here you were, doubting yourself. Part of you knew you should’ve been excited, but instead, all you could feel was that familiar pull of hesitation. Do you really deserve this? the voice in the back of your head whispered through your mind, uninvited. You tried to shake it off, but the guilt had a way of lingering.

Still, you typed your response, fingers moving almost mechanically.

Let’s do it. Tomorrow night works.

 You hit send before you could second-guess it. But as soon as the message went through, that tightness in your chest returned. You were agreeing, but the wall was already halfway up, built from everything you couldn’t bring yourself to admit.

The next day was grueling—a relentless 11 hours on set, with every scene and every line feeling like an uphill battle. By the time you wrapped, exhaustion clung to you, both physically and mentally. The thought of the date lingered at the back of your mind, but you pushed it aside, trying to focus on getting through the day. When it was finally over, there was no time to unwind. You went straight from set to getting ready, slipping into the role of someone who wasn’t completely spent.

Standing in front of the mirror, you stared at your reflection, feeling disconnected from the person staring back. Your makeup was applied with precision, but it felt like armor more than anything else. As you brushed through your hair, a part of you wondered if it even mattered. Would he notice how tired you were? Could he sense the hesitation you were trying so hard to bury? You added a spritz of your favorite perfume, hoping the familiar scent would bring some comfort, but even that felt a little distant tonight.

You pulled on the dress you had picked out, one you thought would make you feel confident. But now, it felt like just another layer between you and what you were really feeling. Despite your best efforts, the weight of the day—and everything you were holding back—clung to you like the exhaustion in your bones. You exhaled, taking one last look as you slipped into your heels. 

The sound of your footsteps echoed softly in the hallway as you made your way downstairs. At the bottom of the staircase, Amelia was waiting, her phone in one hand, an encouraging smile on her face. She knew it had been a long day—longer than most—and her presence was a quiet reminder that you didn’t have to go through the motions alone.

“You look amazing,” Amelia said, her eyes scanning your dress before landing on your face. “Rúben’s lucky.”

You gave a tight smile, still feeling the weight of everything from the day pressing on your chest. “Thanks,” you murmured, fiddling with your necklace, trying to shake the nerves. But before you could say anything else, Amelia stepped closer, lowering her voice gently.

“You know… you can still cancel, or reschedule,” she offered, a knowing look in her eyes. “He’d understand.”

“That would be so rude to do so close to the reservation,” you replied quickly, though the thought of canceling lingered for just a second longer than you wanted it to. You sighed, straightening up, determined to go through with it.

Amelia didn’t push further, but her gaze was soft as she squeezed your hand. “Okay. Well, we’ve got everything arranged. Mark has spoken to the restaurant, and NDAs have been signed by the staff. You’ll go in through the service entrance, and the private dining room is ready. No one’s going to bother you.”

You rubbed your temple, feeling the weight of it all. “God, when did this become my life? This is so ridiculous,” you muttered under your breath.

Amelia chuckled lightly. “You want to walk in through the front? Be my guest.”

You laughed, despite yourself, shaking your head. “Yeah, maybe not.”

As if on cue, Mark appeared, his expression serious but reassuring. “We’ll drop you at the back. Eric and Jason will escort you in, but it’ll be quiet. Everything’s been triple-checked.”

You nodded, feeling a small wave of relief wash over you. They had thought of everything, as they always did, but there was still that part of you that wondered if you could get through the night without letting your walls slip.

“Don’t be nervous, he’s just a guy,” Amelia added, her voice light, trying to bring some levity back into the moment. She smiled one last time before stepping aside, allowing Eric and Jason to escort you out the door and into the car.

The ride to the restaurant was quiet. The low hum of the city streets outside passed in a blur, but inside, your thoughts were loud. You fiddled with the edge of your dress, glancing occasionally at Eric, who sat up front, focused on the road ahead. You wondered what Rúben was thinking right now—if he was as calm and collected as he always seemed to be, or if he had any idea how much of yourself you were trying to keep hidden.

Eventually, the car rolled to a stop. Eric and Jason were quiet as they opened the door for you, guiding you toward the discreet back entrance of the restaurant. You pulled your coat tighter around yourself as you stepped out, the cool night air doing little to settle the nervous energy swirling inside you.

The service entrance was exactly as Mark had described—hidden away, out of sight. You glanced around, half-expecting someone to recognize you, but no one even blinked as you slipped past the kitchen staff and through a narrow hallway. A host appeared almost immediately, offering a polite smile. He gave you a slight nod, his fingers adjusting his collar almost unconsciously as he spoke.

“This way, Miss L/N,” he said, his voice steady but just a touch quieter than you expected. You barely noticed, preoccupied with your own nerves, as he led you through the hallway. His steps were quick and professional, though there was something a little rigid in the way he moved. Maybe it was the fact that Eric and Jason were standing nearby. 

When you reached the private dining room, he paused in front of the door, his hand resting on the handle for a moment longer than necessary before he turned it and opened the door for you. “Mr. Dias, your guest has arrived. Your waiter will be here soon. Enjoy your evening,” he said, his smile lingering a bit too long before he quickly stepped aside to let you pass.

You offered a quick smile before he slipped away, leaving you standing there for just a moment. You stepped into the private dining room, the warm glow of the low lighting greeted you, casting long shadows across the intimate space. It should have been calming, but instead, your nerves buzzed under your skin, making every step feel heavier.

And there he was—Rúben. Standing at the head of the table, locking eyes with you the moment you entered, his eyes softening with that familiar warmth. Even after your insecurities sunk their teeth in you, his presence was striking, but tonight, there was something more. He seemed relaxed, yet focused, as if he’d been waiting for you all day. His smile was warm, a subtle reassurance that everything was okay. He smiled a little more deeply when you approached, the quiet confidence in his posture reminding you why you’d said yes in the first place.

“Hey,” he said, his voice low and steady, that smile on his lips as he took you in. 

“Hi,” you replied, offering a small smile in return, though the tightness in your chest remained. He pulled out your chair, the gesture thoughtful as always, but even as you sat down, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were about to step into something you weren’t quite ready for.

The reality of what this meant had settled in over the past few days, like glitter that had fallen to the ground after the initial rush. It was the same glitter that used to make you feel alive, back when you thought fame was everything. But now, it was just dust, settling into all the cracks of your life.

You suddenly felt the need to keep him at arm’s length tonight. Maybe it was your instinct to protect yourself—or worse, protect him. The walls that usually kept people at bay were fully up tonight, and despite how charming Rúben was, how easy it had been to talk to him the first time you met, something was stopping you from letting go and enjoying the moment.

You sat down across from him, nodding in acknowledgment as the waiter poured water into your glass. Your fingers played with the edge of your napkin, your body stiff, your mind a million miles away. 

The baggage that came with dating you was impossible for you to ignore. Your fame was always there, an elephant in every room you stepped into. The weight of it pressed against you now, reminding you that this wasn’t just a date—it was a potential headline, a potential disaster. 

All the men you’d dated before had told you as much. They might’ve tried to play it cool, but eventually, the truth always came out: it was exhausting to be with you. The constant attention, the scrutiny, the lack of privacy—it was too much for anyone to handle for long. The reporters who called their jobs, their families, digging for details, crossing every line just to get a story. It wore people down, and no one deserved that. Especially not Rúben.

Looking at him from across the table, his features warmed by the glow of the low lighting in the room, it affirmed what you already knew. He was… normal. At least, as normal as someone in the public eye could be. You imagined he could still step out and grab groceries if he wanted to. Maybe fans asked for a photo, but that was probably the extent of it. He wasn’t hunted by photographers the way you were, he didn’t have rumors about his love life splashed across tabloids every week. His life, while public, still had space for normalcy. Space for peace.

You couldn’t remember the last time you did something as mundane as buying groceries. That wasn’t your life anymore. Every moment was calculated, planned, protected. You couldn’t just “date” someone, not without it being analyzed, picked apart, and turned into a circus. You’d seen it happen before—one photo of a first date, and suddenly it was the start of a romance the whole world was invested in. And when it inevitably fizzled out, the headlines would make it seem like you were heartbroken, a mess of emotions over something that had barely started.

“Hey,” Rúben’s voice broke through your thoughts. His eyes were on you, concern softening his features. “What’s wrong?”

You blinked, realizing you hadn’t said much since you sat down. You were here, but your mind wasn’t, and clearly, he’d noticed.

“I’m sorry,” you said, offering a weak smile. “I’m just… distracted, I guess.”

His brow furrowed, and he leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on the table. “Is it something I did? If you don’t want to be here, it’s okay. We don’t have to do this.”

There was no hint of judgment in his voice, just understanding. And that only made the guilt twist deeper inside you. He didn’t deserve this, didn’t deserve the weight of your internal battle. 

“No, it’s not you,” you assured him quickly, offering a small smile in an attempt to brush it off. “It’s nothing, really.”

Rúben raised an eyebrow, giving you a look that said he wasn’t buying it. He didn’t have to say anything right away—his silence was enough to gently coax you into continuing.

You sighed, glancing away briefly before meeting his eyes again. “Okay, maybe it’s not nothing,” you admitted, a nervous laugh escaping you. “It’s just… complicated, you know?”

“What’s complicated?” he asked, his voice soft but direct, his gaze steady on yours. He wasn’t pushing, but you could tell he wasn’t going to let you hide behind the word either.

You hesitated, your fingers lightly tracing the edge of your water glass as you carefully considered your words. “I’ve just… been here before,” you said slowly, trying not to give too much away too soon. “When people see me with someone, they make assumptions. And then it snowballs into something it’s not. I don’t want that for you.”

Rúben was quiet for a moment, his gaze steady, and then he leaned in just slightly, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips. “People are going to assume what? That I’m on a date with a beautiful, talented woman that I’d really like to get to know?” His smile grew warmer, more sincere. “Because that’s exactly what this is.”

You blinked, caught off guard by the simplicity of his statement, how direct yet lighthearted it was. A quiet laugh escaped you, the tension in your chest loosening just a little. He wasn’t dodging the weight of your words, but he was reminding you what was real, right now.

Rúben’s eyes softened as he watched you. “Look, I understand what you’re saying. I know what could come from this, but we don’t have to worry about what everyone else thinks. Right now, it’s just us. I want to be here with you.”

His words hit you in a way that made it hard to resist smiling. You weren’t used to someone meeting your fears with such calmness, with no rush to make promises or minimize how you felt.

You smiled, a real one this time. “You make it sound so simple.”

He shrugged lightly, still smiling. “Because it is simple. Let’s just… have dinner, and see where it goes.”

You exhaled, some of the weight lifting from your shoulders as you nodded. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

His calmness once again disarmed you. Maybe he was right. Maybe it didn’t have to be as complicated as you were making it. Rúben’s smile widened, his eyes soft with reassurance, and for the first time that night, you felt a little bit of the weight on your shoulders begin to lift. You hadn’t realized just how tightly you were holding yourself together, but now, in the quiet of this private room, with Rúben’s steady presence across from you, it felt a little easier to breathe.. 

The waiter returned to take your order, and you both exchanged polite words with him. The moment he left, the silence returned, but this time, it wasn’t heavy. You felt Rúben’s gaze on you, not in a scrutinizing way, but more like he was waiting for you to relax, to meet him halfway.

You took a sip of your water, letting the coolness calm the lingering nerves. “How do you handle it? The public attention, I mean.”

Rúben leaned back slightly, a thoughtful look crossing his face. “Honestly, it’s different for me,” he said after a moment. “Football comes with attention, sure, but people care more about what happens on the pitch. If I’m playing well, everything’s good. If I’m not, well… they let me know,” he added with a small smile. “But my personal life? It’s not under the same kind of microscope. It’s not like it is for you.”

You nodded, understanding what he meant. For athletes, the focus was often on their performance, their game. But for you, every part of your life—on stage and off—was up for public consumption. “That must be nice,” you said softly, almost wistful. “To have some part of your life that’s still just yours.”

Rúben’s eyes softened as he watched you. “It is,” he admitted. “But I get that it’s not the same for you. I’m not naive about it.” He leaned forward slightly, his forearms resting on the table. “I know the pressure on you is different. But it doesn’t have to be something we figure out all at once. There’s no rush.”

His calm, steady voice had a grounding effect on you, like he wasn’t trying to fix things or demand more than you were ready to give. He wasn’t expecting you to map out your entire future right here and now. He was just present, in the moment, willing to take things one step at a time.

You smiled a little, shaking your head. “You really don’t know what you’re getting into, do you?”

Rúben chuckled, the sound warm and genuine. “Maybe not,” he said with a shrug, “but I’d like to find out.”

The waiter returned with your food, and for the next few minutes, the conversation shifted to lighter topics—football, music, your time in Manchester. It was easy. It was light. And the more you spoke, the more you realized that this was exactly what you needed—a break from the heaviness of your life, a moment to just be a person sharing a meal with someone interesting. It reminded you of why you’d said yes to this date in the first place. 

You caught yourself relaxing into the evening, the initial nerves and hesitation melting away little by little. You laughed when Rúben told a story about a chaotic team practice, and he asked thoughtful questions about the movie you were filming, genuinely interested in your answers.

By the time dessert arrived, you almost forgot why you’d been so hesitant in the first place. It was nice, being around someone who wasn’t trying to impress you, who wasn’t intimidated by your fame or overwhelmed by the attention that came with it. Rúben was just himself, calm and steady, and it was a welcome contrast to the chaos that usually surrounded your life.

At some point, you glanced around the room, the reality of your private setting sinking in. The service entrance, the NDAs, the security—it all seemed so distant now, like you’d left that part of yourself outside the door when you’d walked into the room. You weren’t just Y/N, the global superstar in this moment. You were a woman on a first date, with a man who seemed genuinely interested in knowing the real you.

“Thank you.” you said quietly, catching his gaze across the table.

He raised an eyebrow. “For what?”

“For being… sweet,” you said with a soft laugh, though you meant it. “I’m not used to that.”

Rúben smiled, his eyes warm. “You don’t ever have to thank me for that.”

You smiled back, feeling lighter than you had in weeks. Maybe it was okay to let yourself enjoy this, to just be in the moment without worrying about what came next. Maybe, just for tonight, you could forget about the fame, the pressure, the inevitable headlines. Maybe, for once, you could just be you, and not her.

Rúben leaned back in his chair, a small grin tugging at the corner of his lips. “I’ve never seen someone have an effect on people like you do.”

You furrowed your brows, curious but trying to play it cool. “What do you mean?”

“Well, for starters,” he began, leaning in slightly, “I think I have permanent hearing loss from when you came on stage the other night. The crowd lost it.” He chuckled softly. “And the host who led you in here looked like he was about to pass out. The waiter? His hands were trembling as he took your order, barely even noticed me.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that, shaking your head. You weren’t exactly unaware of the effect you had on people, but it always caught you off guard when someone described it so plainly. To you, it was just part of your life—people’s reactions had long since become background noise. You’d gotten so used to it that you sometimes forgot how overwhelming it could be for others.

“That can’t be true,” you said, smirking as you tried to downplay it. “They were probably just having an off night.”

Rúben laughed again, shaking his head. “You seriously didn’t see it, did you? You walk into a room, and it changes the energy entirely. People react to you—they can’t help it.”

You bit your lip, feeling a little bashful despite your best efforts to stay composed. This was the part that always felt strange—the acknowledgment of your impact, how larger-than-life you could seem to others. It wasn’t something you did intentionally, but it was a reality you had learned to live with.

“And what about you?” you asked suddenly, the question slipping out before you could overthink it. You tilted your head slightly, genuinely curious now. “Do I have an effect on you?”

Rúben didn’t hesitate, his expression softening. “I’ve been nervous all week waiting for this.”

His honesty catches you off guard, “Really?”

“Yeah,” he said, his voice steady but genuine. “But not for the reasons they’re nervous.”

You blinked, feeling the air between you shift. “Yeah? What’s the reason then?”

He held your gaze, his eyes unwavering, and for a second you felt the world around you slow down, like this moment existed outside of everything else. “It’s not your fame making me nervous,” he said, his voice lower, more intimate. “It’s how absolutely gorgeous you are.”

You felt the heat rush to your cheeks, a blush creeping up your neck before you could stop it. His words, so direct, so unaffected by the world you usually navigated, hit you in a way that felt... real. You couldn’t remember the last time someone had made you blush like this.

A soft laugh escaped you, more out of nervousness than anything else. “I don’t usually get nervous on dates,” you admitted, glancing down at your hands before looking back up at him, “but… you’ve managed to make me a little nervous too.”

Rúben’s smile widened, his eyes sparkling with warmth and amusement. “Good,” he said softly, his gaze never leaving yours. “That makes two of us.”

For the first time in a long time, you let yourself sit in that feeling—being nervous, being unsure, but also feeling something real and genuine. The walls you’d been so careful to keep up tonight were starting to crumble, piece by piece, and it didn’t feel like it was such a bad thing.

Rúben looked at you thoughtfully, his gaze steady as the conversation quieted. “Why’d you say yes? To this date, I mean. You could have said no.”

You blinked, caught off guard by the question. It wasn’t something you’d really considered, not in those exact terms. Why had you said yes? You’d had plenty of opportunities to turn people down in the past, often with good reason. But with Rúben, something had felt different that night.

You laughed softly, trying to lighten the mood. “Have you seen yourself?” The joke slipped out easily, and Rúben chuckled, but there was a sincerity behind his question that lingered in the air, making you feel like you owed him a real answer.

You paused for a moment, gathering your thoughts, and then your voice softened. “No, I… I said yes because it was easy to talk to you. You didn’t seem intimidated by her. ” You gestured vaguely, indicating the version of you the world knew—the celebrity, the public figure, the icon. “It seemed like you were more interested in getting to know me.”

Rúben’s smile was soft as he nodded, clearly understanding what you meant. “That’s because I am.”

There it was—that calmness again, the way he didn’t flinch or overreact. He was steady, present, and focused on you, not the image the world projected of you. You appreciated that more than you could put into words, and it was why you felt so disarmed around him.

“People… people don’t always see me anymore,” you continued quietly, feeling more vulnerable than you expected. “They see what they want to see. The fame, the persona, the things they read in magazines. It’s exhausting sometimes, you know?”

He nodded again, his eyes never leaving yours. “I can imagine. But that’s why I wanted to ask you out in the first place. I wanted to get to know you. Not the version of you everyone else thinks they know.”

There was something about the way he said it, with such honesty, that made you feel safe—like maybe, just maybe, you didn’t have to carry the weight of your fame with you all the time. 

You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through you, the kind that came from being truly seen. “I’m glad I said yes,” you admitted softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “Even if I was nervous.”

Rúben’s smile grew, and he leaned forward slightly. “Me too,” he said, his voice low and steady, and for the first time tonight, you felt like the weight of the world wasn’t pressing down on you. It was just the two of you, sharing a moment, getting to know each other in a way that felt real.

“For the record, though,” he added with a playful glint in his eyes, “I still am intimidated by you. Look at you.” He leaned back slightly, a smile tugging at his lips. “Have you looked at yourself?”

You rolled your eyes, but the warmth spreading across your cheeks betrayed you. "Oh, come on."

“No, seriously,” Rúben continued, his expression shifting into something more sincere, but still playful. “I mean, you walk into a room, and it changes. I’d be lying if I said that didn’t throw me a bit.” He shrugged, a little self-deprecating. “But the part that matters—the part that got me to ask you out—is that it’s you behind all of that. And that’s what I’m here for. ”

You opened your mouth to respond, but he wasn’t done. “Your job, what you do—it’s huge. I get that. People are obsessed with your work, with what you represent. But at the end of the day, it’s still just that—a job. And everyone has a job.” He paused, meeting your eyes with a soft smile. “It just so happens that yours comes with a lot more attention. That doesn’t change who you are.”

His words hit you like a punch, a force that knocked the wind out of you.

God, what the fuck. He’s perfect.

You blinked, trying to recover from the feeling, but the way he looked at you, so matter-of-fact, so sure, made it impossible. You weren’t used to this—someone seeing past the glamor, the spotlight, the fame, and just… you. The real you. No pretense, no agenda.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you searched for something to say, anything that wouldn’t make you sound completely floored by his simplicity and depth. But all you could manage was a soft, “That’s… wow.”

Rúben’s brow furrowed slightly, a small grin forming at the corner of his lips. “What?”

You shook your head, exhaling softly as you let your guard drop just a little more. “You just… get it. I don’t know how, but you do.”

He shrugged, his gaze never leaving yours. “I’m just being honest. I don’t think it’s all that complicated. You’re more than the job, just like I am.”

That did it. Your chest tightened, a strange mix of relief and disbelief swirling inside you. How did someone like him—calm, grounded, and yet so sincere—make you feel so seen? You bit your lip, fighting back a smile, wondering if he even realized the effect he was having on you.

You sighed, shaking your head again with a mix of amusement and gratitude. “You’re something else, you know that?”

Rúben grinned, leaning forward slightly. “I’m just a guy on a date, trying not to say the wrong thing.”

“Well, you’re doing a pretty good job so far,” you teased, feeling more relaxed than you had at the start of the evening. 

The tension you’d been carrying with you since the moment you walked in was slowly unraveling, bit by bit, and as you looked at him, you realized you were glad you’d taken the chance. Maybe this wasn’t the simple, carefree date most people got to experience, but for tonight, it was close enough. And for the first time in a long time, you didn’t feel like your fame was the only thing defining you.

You found yourself leaning in slightly, the conversation between you flowing with an ease you hadn’t expected. He wasn’t looking at you like everyone else did, as if you were some untouchable figure. Rúben saw past the glitz, past the brand. He was here for the woman sitting in front of him, and that was something you hadn’t felt in a long time. It was refreshing, almost grounding, in a way you hadn’t known you needed.

Just as you felt the lightness of the moment settle in, the waiter discreetly placed the check on the table, offering a polite “Take your time,” before stepping back. As soon as the black leather folder hit the table, your hand instinctively reached for it, but before you could even touch it, Rúben’s hand was already there, swiftly grabbing it and pulling it out of your reach.

You raised an eyebrow, half-amused, half-annoyed. “What do you think you’re doing?”

He looked at you, his expression a mix of playful disbelief. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Trying to split the bill,” you said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Rúben laughed, shaking his head as if you’d just told him the most ridiculous joke. “You’re funny. Absolutely not. That’s not at all happening. I’m paying.”

You leaned forward, playfully trying to push back. “Come on, let me at least pretend I had a chance at paying. I need to keep my dignity intact.”

He smiled, the kind of smile that made your heart flip, and shook his head firmly. “No. Absolutely not. This is my treat. I asked you out, remember?”

You sat back, crossing your arms with a half-pout on your lips. “You’re making this difficult, you know.”

He chuckled again, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “You can get the next one,” he teased, his tone light and casual.

Your heart skipped a beat at the mention of a “next one,” but you tried to play it cool. “Next one, huh?”

Rúben raised an eyebrow, his smile widening. “Unless you’re already planning on bailing on me?”

You shook your head, the playful tension between you lightening the mood even more. “Not bailing,” you said softly, the truth settling in as you looked at him. “I guess I’ll just have to let you pay this time.”

“Good,” he said, sliding his fingers across the edge of the checkbook. “Because that’s how it was going to go either way.”

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help the smile that tugged at your lips. It was moments like these, little glimpses of ease and lightheartedness, that reminded you why you’d said yes to this date in the first place. Even with all your initial anxiety, Rúben had managed to make the night feel lighter than you expected, and for once, you didn’t feel weighed down by the complications of your life.

He took his card out and paid without even glancing at the amount.

You took a small sip of your water, watching as the waiter thanked both you and Rúben and disappeared once more, leaving the two of you alone in the soft lighting. The atmosphere shifted subtly, quieter now, almost expectant. Rúben stood up first, reaching for your coat, and you followed suit, standing from the table.

When he held out your coat, you turned, feeling the light brush of his hands as he helped you slip it over your shoulders. The touch was brief but deliberate, his fingers grazing your arms in a way that sent a shiver through you. He took his time adjusting the collar of your coat, his movements slow, like he was savoring the moment.

You could feel the shift between you, an unspoken tension building, something that had been simmering beneath the surface. His hands lingered a second longer than necessary, and you felt your pulse quicken as his gaze met yours, his eyes darker than they’d been before. There was no denying the spark now, that quiet, magnetic pull that seemed to tighten the air between you.

He leaned in slightly, his face just inches from yours, the warmth of his presence drawing you in like a current. His eyes flicked down to your lips for just a moment—long enough for you to notice, but not long enough for him to make a move. You felt a tug in your stomach—a longing, an anticipation—and you knew where this was headed. You wanted to kiss him, of course you did. He was sweet, attentive, calm, and his scent—a mix of something clean and warm—wrapped around you, making you want to melt into him. 

And God, did he look good. He looked so good, that much you could admit to yourself when you walked in, despite the cloud of doubt that had loomed over you. 

But you weren’t ready to give in just yet.

You leaned back ever so slightly, a teasing smile tugging at your lips. “I don’t kiss on first dates, you know,” you whispered, your tone playful but firm, just enough to keep him on his toes.

Rúben paused, a small smirk played on his lips. “No way I can convince you?” he asked, his voice low, playful, but with a hint of challenge in it.

His hand rested gently on your waist, the warmth of his touch steady but restrained. It wasn’t possessive, but more like a promise—one that made your heart skip a beat. The way he looked at you, with that quiet intensity, made it harder to stick to your own rules, but you weren’t going to let him win this easily.

With a soft laugh, you reached up, letting your hand brush against his arm, the touch light but deliberate. “You’ll have to try a little harder than that,” you said softly, your lips curving into a smile.

His brow arched, amusement flashing in his eyes as he leaned just a fraction closer, his voice dropping lower. “I can be patient.”

The desire was there, simmering between you, but neither of you were rushing to give in. It was like a game, a slow dance where neither of you wanted to be the first to step forward.

You felt the spark, the undeniable tension, but you liked the way he wasn’t trying to force it. He was letting it build, savoring it just as much as you were.

“I guess we’ll see,” you teased, pulling back just enough to leave him wanting more, the playful glint in your eyes matching his.

He let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head slightly. “You’re trouble,” he murmured, though the smile on his face told you he wasn’t complaining.

You grinned, feeling the lightness between you grow, the chase still very much alive. As you both stepped out of the private dining room, you noticed Eric stationed just outside, always quietly observing but never intrusive. He gave you a small nod before turning to Jason, who stood a few feet away. “Bring the car around,” Eric said quietly, his voice low and efficient.

Rúben placed his hand gently on the small of your back as you began to walk through the same service hallway you had entered from. The soft murmur of kitchen sounds echoed around you as you passed through the bustling space, the warm scents of food lingering in the air. You felt a strange sense of calm wash over you, as if the weight of the outside world hadn’t quite caught up to you yet.

As you reached the end of the hallway, you slowed, noticing Rúben pause. He caught the attention of the restaurant owner, who had been discreetly overseeing the kitchen’s final tasks. With a quiet, purposeful gesture, Rúben handed him a small envelope—an unexpected but thoughtful gesture. The owner looked momentarily surprised, but Rúben’s words were warm, genuine.

“Thank you for everything,” he said, his voice steady but filled with sincerity. “The food, the dessert—it was perfect. But more than that, I appreciate how quiet and private the evening was. Your attention to detail, and everyone’s discretion… it meant a lot to us.”

The owner’s face softened into a grateful smile as he accepted the envelope. “It was our pleasure, Mr. Dias, Miss L/N. We’re happy you enjoyed your evening.”

You watched the exchange, feeling a quiet admiration for Rúben. He didn’t have to do any of this—personally tipping the staff, speaking so kindly to the owner—but he did it anyway, without hesitation, with the same quiet thoughtfulness he’d shown all night.

With that settled, Rúben guided you toward the back exit. As you approached, one of the restaurant employees stepped forward to hold the door open for both of you. You offered him a small smile, murmuring a quick “Thank you,” as you passed, and Rúben did the same, his voice calm and polite.

Stepping outside, the cool night air greeted you, a welcome contrast to the warmth you’d felt in the restaurant. The faint sounds of the city buzzed in the distance, but here, in the quiet alley behind the restaurant, it felt like you were in your own world. You took a deep breath, feeling the tension from earlier in the night dissolve a little more with each passing moment.

Just ahead, your SUV was already waiting, its black frame gleaming softly under the dim alley lights. Eric stood nearby, his posture relaxed but alert. As you approached, you fully expected Eric to open the door as he always did, but before he could move, Rúben was already a step ahead.

With smooth, instinctive grace, Rúben reached for the door handle, pulling it open for you. It was such a simple gesture, but it caught you off guard. You paused, looking at him for a second longer than you intended. You weren’t used to this. So few of the guys you’d dated before had ever bothered with the smallest acts of respect—holding doors, offering real consideration—and yet here was Rúben, doing it effortlessly. He wasn’t making a show of it, and it wasn’t an act. It was just who he was, and it took you a moment to process that.

You stood between him and the open door, the moment suddenly feeling more intimate than it had a right to be. As you adjusted your coat, a cool breeze brushed past, loosening a strand of hair from where it had been tucked behind your ear. Before you could reach for it, Rúben’s hand was already there, gently brushing the stray hair back into place. His touch was soft, tender, and the simplicity of it made your breath catch.

“I appreciate you coming tonight, Y/N,” he said softly, his voice warm and genuine. “I had a lot of fun. I’d like to keep getting to know you, as long as you’ll let me.”

His words were so sincere, cutting through any lingering tension with their honesty. You felt your heart flutter slightly at how real this all felt. Rúben wasn’t pushing for anything more than you were ready to give, but he made it clear that he wanted more, when you were ready for it.

You smiled up at him, your voice soft. “I’d like that, too.”

Before you could stop yourself, you rose on your tiptoes—despite the heels you were wearing—and gently placed a soft kiss on his cheek. His skin was warm against your lips, and you felt him lean into the touch, just slightly, like he was savoring the moment.

When you pulled back, his smile was gentle, his eyes still holding yours as he helped you up into the SUV with that same quiet grace he’d shown all night. You noticed how his hand covered the grab handle above the door, making sure you didn’t bump your head as you slid into the seat. It was another small detail, but it didn’t go unnoticed.

Before closing the door, he leaned down slightly, his voice low but gentle. “Please, let me know when you get home safely.”

You smiled, your heart warming at his thoughtfulness. “I will. Good night, Rúben.”

“Good night, Y/N.”

He smiled, giving you one last look that made your stomach flip before turning to Eric. There was a polite nod exchanged between them, a silent acknowledgment of respect from both sides. Eric returned the gesture before stepping aside.

As the door closed and the SUV pulled away from the restaurant, you sank into the plush leather seats, sighing softly, dreamily. A small smile tugged at your lips as the city lights blurred outside the window. Rúben had been… well, everything you hadn’t expected but had secretly hoped for. 

Eric slid into the front seat, glancing at you in the rearview mirror with a knowing look. “Good date?” he asked, though you could hear the teasing in his tone.

You couldn’t hide your smile as you nodded, sinking further into the seat. “Yeah… it was.”

As the car rolled through the quiet streets of the city, your thoughts drifted back to Rúben, to the way his hand had felt on your waist, the way his gaze had lingered on yours. You weren’t sure where things would go from here, but for the first time in a long time, you felt excited about the possibilities. And for tonight, that was more than enough.

author's note: sorry for making y'all wait for so long! let me know what y'all think :)

[supercorpkid]

Ooooo okay

So inspired by your runaway dancers fic (so good) but BD didn't run away just kind off suffered in silence faded into the background

But like BD is just feeling left out cause Alex and Kara are like a team both work for the DEO and constantly have sister nights and are just really close

And like Lucy Lane and Lena Luthor both know what it's like to be the black sheep (so do Alex and Kara they just don't notice it) and like BD isn't invited to sister night so Lucy and Lena take BD to go have fun and take BDs mind off of it

And then the sisters realise (somehow maybe they overhear or they get confronted) they have left out BD and apologise and all make up

So like angst and fluff for BD (you can change any off the plot this is just something to help spark ideas)

You're On Your Own, Kid.

Supergirl. Baby Danvers. Kara Danvers x BabyDanvers!Reader, Alex Danvers x BabyDanvers!Reader, Lena Luthor, Lucy Lane.

Word count: 1900

They are everywhere. Everywhere you look, the heroes of National City catch your eye, and you're left swallowing the lump in your throat. They're your sisters. There shouldn’t be a lump in your throat at the sight of them. But recently, things have been taking a hard turn for you.

You love your job. Really, you do. Taking care of little animals and being a veterinarian brings you joy. But sometimes, you wish you had chosen something more impactful—not just for the world, but for your sisters.

Alex is an agent. A badass one, armed with alien tech, and she’s an incredible doctor, skilled in both human and Kryptonian anatomy. Kara has just become a prominent reporter at one of the biggest media empires in National City and, of course, she’s also one of the planet's greatest superheroes. 

And here you are, examining dog feces for worms.

You don’t mind. There’s no way to express this without sounding jealous, which you’re really not. Your heart swells with pride when Kara saves the world. When you see Alex doing something extremely dangerous yet incredibly badass, you want to shout from the rooftops that she’s your sister.

But lately, you’ve been feeling lonely and a bit left out. They have so much in common and spend so much time together that, little by little, you're left on the sidelines. It started with conversations about things you knew nothing about, then inside jokes you weren’t part of, then secrets. Now, spending time with them is emotionally draining, but not being around them feels even worse.

“Did you see this?” A technician shoves her phone in your face. You smile at Supergirl’s picture and the headline, though she can’t see it because you're wearing a mask.

“Chichi doesn’t have worms.” You remove your gloves, organize the space, and reach for her phone to read the entire news. “Whoa, Supergirl saved the world today!” You look up. “Isn’t it crazy to think we could’ve died analyzing feces if it wasn’t for her?”

“I know! I wish I knew her. I’d make sure she knew she saved us from the most embarrassing death ever.”

You think to yourself that you’ll let Kara know this as soon as you’re out of the clinic. It might have been a while since you two last talked, but you think your sister would appreciate hearing about her heroics. Everyone likes compliments, after all.

“We should go out to celebrate.”

“Not being dead?”

She nods enthusiastically. You almost take her up on it but think better of it. You want to celebrate, but you’d rather do it with Supergirl herself. Buy her potstickers and thank her in person.

You can’t buy Kara potstickers every time she saves the world—you’d go bankrupt in a few months. But not dying an embarrassing death calls for it, honestly.

You leave work and head to her favorite restaurant, and soon you're on your way to her apartment. As you’re about to knock, you hear Alex’s voice inside.

“Ayy!” she exclaims in an uncharacteristic manner. “Sisters’ night with cold beer after you saved the world and I saved your butt at CatCo was an awesome idea.”

Sisters’ night?

You check your phone to make sure you haven’t missed a text. No, you definitely weren’t invited to this impromptu sisters’ night. You try to muster the courage to knock anyway. They weren’t expecting you, but Kara wouldn’t—

“Golly, eating potstickers after saving the world with my family is the best feeling in the universe.”

You turn around without a second thought. It’s awfully sad how unsurprising this is to you. It doesn’t take you off guard, it doesn’t even make your stomach drop. It’s nothing new.

Sure, you’ve been almost out of their lives. Haven’t hung out in a month, Kara hasn’t visited you at work in months, and the last time someone said anything in the text chain was when you asked if they’d heard from Mom that day. Alex simply said no. And that was two weeks ago.

But still, not being invited to a sisters’ night? It literally has that name because it’s a celebration of sisters! You’re a sister. Even if you are the least favorite one.

Great, you’re back at it again. Feeling like you always did back in Midvale. Feeling jealous of Kara and her friendship with Alex. Wanting what they have so badly. The understanding, the support, the “I’ll die for you” love that you only ever got little tastes of.

Ugh. You roll in your bed, trying to go to sleep and praying you wake up invisible.

It's been a week since you realized your sisters want you out of their lives, so you've been keeping to yourself. They haven't come looking for you, not even when you didn't make it to games' night and said nothing on the group chat.

You hear the doorbell and go answer it. It's been a while since anyone visited and you have no idea who could be behind that door. "Lena?"

"So you are alive!" 

"I guess?" You're puzzled by her visit. She's friends with your sisters. Sure, you've talked before, but she's Kara's best friend, not yours.

"Well, I wouldn't know. I haven't seen you in weeks." Lena glances inside your apartment and you finally realize you haven't invited her in yet. So you make space and she takes the chance to walk in. "You haven't been to any game's night, and haven't added anything to the group chat."

"Has —" The question burns in your throat and it needs to be asked. "Anyone else noticed?"

Lena stops, understanding your implication, and turns around slowly.

"Should anyone in specific notice it?"

You don't answer, and her expression demands more. You want to confide in her, but you can't. Lena is Kara's best friend. It wouldn't be fair to share something about your sister with her. So you bite your tongue and shrug. You're on your own. You always have been.

"Oh, no. No. Just curious."

"Well, I came to drag you to game night with me today and you can't say no!"

"No." Lena's face falls and you smile apologetically. "Sorry, I'm going out with some friends from vet school."

"But we're your family!" Lena tries again. Some family! They don't even notice you haven't been around in weeks. "Just come with me today and I'll stop bugging you." Before you open your mouth she adds, "Don't say no."

"No."

"See, you did it again." She pretends to be annoyed and you laugh.

"Sorry Lena, next one, maybe. This one is not gonna happen."

You don't make it to the next one, no matter how many times Lena texts you or tries to bribe you with your favorite food. You can’t go. How many sisters’ nights have they had that you weren’t a part of? How many times was it just them, never realizing something was missing? And worst of all, what if there isn't something missing to them? What if you're someone that people can't even miss?

You think you finally get Lena off your back. She stops texting you, so you're sure you won't have to explain yourself anymore or come up with lazy excuses.

“Y/N.” Your technician calls, and you raise your head from your computer. There were no emergencies today, so you've been just going over some patients' charts while you wait for the next one. “Some women outside are asking for you.”

You look at her with puzzled eyes.

“They don't even own a pet.” You furrow your brows harder and make your way to the front of the clinic.

“Lena? Lucy? What are you guys doing here?”

“We're taking you out for a drink,” Lena says, then adds in a more severe tone, “and seriously, I won't accept no for an answer this time.”

“I'm working and I have a patient.” You look at your schedule. “A cat named…” You raise your head at her, with an eyebrow raised. “Lex.”

“One of those bald ones that looks like it's inside out. Oh, be careful 'cause he bites.” She adds with a smirk.

You look back at the schedule to see that the last patient of the day also seems to be a prank from them. “And next, there is a dog named Clark.”

“He's a golden retriever! The sweetest, but super strong!” Lucy jokes, and you roll your eyes at their shenanigans.

“Can't believe you weirdos paid to hang out with me.”

“Oh, it was all Lena.” You chuckle, of course, it was Lena. Who else would literally throw money at your face so she could talk to you?

There's nothing you can say; you have to join them. You really like them both, but you know they are mostly your sisters' friends, so you can't tell them the real reason why you've been so MIA.

You've been more of a listener throughout the entire hangout. It's weird getting information about your sisters from Lena and Lucy instead of directly from them, but hey, it was their choice. You're just giving them the space they seem to want.

“So, when are you going to tell us about what's going on with you and why you've completely disappeared from our lives lately?”

“Nothing's happening,” you slur, not because you're drunk but because you don't want to talk.

“My bet was that you're in a new relationship,” Lucy says, and you wish she was right. It would make the loneliness you're feeling less prominent.

“I guess you lost the bet.”

Lena looks straight into your eyes. “Well, I think it has something to do with family.”

You don't answer, but the fact that you don’t is what makes them understand right away. Lena reaches for your hand on the other side of the table, and you swallow the lump in your throat and the tears coming.

“It's okay, darling.” She almost whispers in this packed bar full of drunk people. You still hear her perfectly and can hear the sweetness of her tone as well. “We both have been there too.”

“You have?”

Lucy smiles at Lena before turning to you. “Dude, we're the black sheep of our families. Of course we know what it's like not to belong with your family.”

“Yeah.” The tears threaten to leave your eyes again, and you do your best to swallow them down. “It's been hard. They're hanging out together so much, and they have so much in common.”

“Yeah, but that doesn't mean they don't miss you.” Lena tries, and you give her a watery chuckle.

“Trust me, they don't. You've reached out to me a lot more than they have in the past month. I don't think they even noticed I haven't been around.”

“That's crazy! Of course they noticed it!” It's Lucy who tries again.

“They had a sisters' night without me. They haven't texted me in a month, and I haven't been to so many game nights that I'd expect them to at least realize the counting of people has been wrong.”

“Oh, we haven't been playing group games these days.”

You just stare at them, not much left to say. They know where you're coming from, and there's no more excuses they can give for your sisters' behavior. Though, they aren't the ones supposed to be making excuses anyway.

After you get this confession out of the way, you can enjoy the night without having to tiptoe around the subject. Both Lena and Lucy are very understanding of your situation, and though you can feel they pity you, the overall feeling is warmth.

Because sisters' night is basically out of your vocabulary already, Lena and Lucy have turned the usual Thursday night into girls' night. It's the second one, and Lucy wanted to karaoke so you all ended up at the alien bar everyone usually frequents. 

You weren't thinking about your sisters at all when you agreed to meet them there. And you also forgot they could waltz in at any moment after three beers and one shot. You're at the bar waiting for another beer, when Lena next to you whispers, "o-oh."

"Hm?" You turn to her and automatically you follow her line of sight and see Kara and Alex entering the bar. "Oh, shit." The bartender places your beer in front of you and you turn around gulping in. "I have to go."

"What?" Kara comes closer before you have the chance to run out. "I thought you said you'd be working."

"Yeah, I finished up and —" Lena gets interrupted by Lucy who fails to read the situation and comes in yelling, 

"YAY, girls night!"

"Girls' night?" She raises one eyebrow to Lena. "Why was I not invited?"

"It hurts, aye." You can't help the grumble that leaves your mouth. Alex furrows her brows at you, hands finally out of her pockets. They share a look, before turning to you again.

"Sorry?"

Lena and Lucy quickly make their way to the karaoke claiming they're going to pick a song and you're left face-to-face with your biggest problem. You can't face them. Don't want to. It all feels unnecessary and you know you're the one who's going to get hurt in the end.

"I'll go help the girls." You point out and Alex stands in the way for you to leave.

"How about you stay and talk to us, instead? We haven't seen you in a while."

"And whose fault is that?" You widen your eyes to the words that just left your mouth. You can't believe you just said this. 

Alex and Kara's surprised faces aren't far behind, and so you breathe deep before you say something else to turn this into an argument.

"I'm gonna go." You repeat.

"No, you're not. Not when it seems like you have a bunch of things stuck on your throat."

And they are right, you do have so many things you'd like to tell them. You take a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts and the courage to speak up. The bar suddenly feels too loud, too crowded, but you know this conversation can't wait any longer.

"Fine," you say, finally feeling brave enough to meet their eyes. "Let's talk."

Kara and Alex exchange a glance, then nod. Kara motions to a quieter corner of the bar, and you all move there. Once seated, you take another deep breath and start.

"It's just… I've been feeling left out. You two have been spending so much time together, and I feel like I'm just on the sidelines. Like I don't belong."

Alex's eyes soften, and Kara looks stricken. "Y/N, we had no idea you felt this way," Alex says gently. "Why didn't you tell us sooner?"

"I didn't want to seem jealous or needy," you admit. "But it hurts when you have sisters' nights and don't invite me. Or when you have inside jokes that I'm not part of."

"Oh, baby. We never meant to exclude you," Kara says, her voice full of regret. "We thought you were busy with work or just needed space. We didn't realize you felt this way."

"Well, I do," you say, your voice trembling slightly while you try to hold back the tears. "And it sucks. I miss you both. I miss being part of your lives."

Kara reaches out and takes your hand. "We're so sorry. We love you and we want you to feel included. We'll do better, I promise."

Alex nods in agreement. "Absolutely. You're our sister, and we want you with us. Always."

Their words bring a rush of relief and you can't keep your tears in check anymore. "I just want to feel like I matter," you say, your voice breaking.

"You do matter," Kara insists. "More than you know. We're a team, and we need you."

Alex squeezes your other hand. "We'll make it right. No more sisters' nights without you. From now on, we do everything together."

You feel a weight lift off your shoulders. "Really?" You ask, heart daring to hope. They both agree so vividly with their heads, you can't not believe them fully. "That's all I wanted. I just want my sisters back."

Lena and Lucy return from the karaoke machine, eyeing the three of you with curiosity but giving you space. You share a small, relieved smile with your sisters. For the first time in a long while, you feel hopeful that things will get better.

Kara is the first to get up from her seat and pull you into a hug. Alex joins right after and soon you're sandwiched between your sisters and it's so nice you even forget you're in a bar.

But it's only for a brief second, until your friends come closer and join the hug. Soon after Kara runs to the karaoke machine to pick a song for you three to sing together, and Alex pays you another beer.

You can't believe you were away from your sisters for over a month, because nothing is good enough that it doesn’t get a hundred times better when they're around. You hope they are always around.

[jasmineiros]

I wasn't going to post this here due to the somewhat sensitive subject of idolization of celebrities and I actually already vented on Instagram stories, but once the dam breaks out it's useless to even try to contain it. And the only thing that is flooding my mind now is rage.

I already hated millionaires, but after Taylor Swift came to Brazil to that freaking circus people called a concert, I hated them even more.

In case you're not aware, Brazil is dealing incredibly badly with the climate crisis. In Rio they hit the temperature of 60°C (100F, but the sensation was of 140F). It was the highest temperature registered SO FAR. A mix of this unbearable heat and the fact that the staff managing the production of concert used certain materials such as god-damned metal to cover certain structures made several people to get severe burns and 23-year-old die of a heart attack.

Now, that's where the irony comes.

After hearing the news, the best Taylor could ever do was posting a stories saying "how sorry she was and she was so young and she was so beautiful and blablabla" but also very vehemently reinforcing that "due to her grief she wasn't going to say anything about it during the show". I mean, a person who technically loved her, had to get donations to travel across the country and literally died because of this god-damned concert and you can't even make a tiny, small tribute for her. She didn't even mention her name in the stories, which was Ana Clara, btw.

She or the staff never reached out to the family to ask if they needed anything, even though they absolutely had the means to do it. Several years ago, when a Rihanna fan was murdered, she personally paid for the expenses of the funeral, because the family couldn't afford it.

And it gets worse.

She cancelled her next performances due to the climate issues. Being herself is the biggest celebrity CO2e polluter of this year so far. And she got back to the US. In a fucking private jet.

I mean, this combo couldn't be more unbelievable. She not only completely dehumanized an incredibly painful and serious situation, as she, with the 1% of magnates that literally rule this planet, is simply the root cause of the imminent destruction of this planet but it doesn't matter, as long as she still has money being shoved into that white ass of hers.

Or maybe I'm being naive, maybe it's our fault, after all, monkeys are meant to the zoo, not to be in the presence of an untouchable, perfect and almighty nature force such as she, since apparently she can't even breathe the same air we do by just using a freaking common airplane, like a sensitive and sane person would.

The fact that she will just run out and make other concerts with that same innocent angel aura, even though she displays a borderline psychopath behavior, like she still was the 16-year-old girl writing songs about her break ups is absolutely unbelievable to me.

This is just so similar to when that cryptofascist piece of trash of Aurora decided it would be just a good idea to make a shallow and generic discourse about love and acceptance and how everyone is being cancelled nowadays when a member of her band posted and gestured dog whistle supremacy symbols on more than one occasion.

Honestly I wish I could feel anything else right now, but the only thing I can still manage to internalize and express is pure hate.

[f1letters]

mastermind | cs55

"what if I told you none of it was accidental?"

summary: it all started when she saw him across the room and she knew right away she wouldn't give up until he was hers

warning: overall fluff, lying reader (with the dumbest but funniest plan too lol), daddy issues, slut-shaming, mentions of alcohol, swearing, suggestive language, the beginning of the story takes place in 2021 when Carlos joined Ferrari (so it's all flashback for much of the story, including the 2021 Monaco GP)

pairing: carlos sainz x reader

word count: 3.8k

note: everything in bold are song references and in italic are thoughts, which includes memories from the past.

spanish words used: corazón = heart; bebé = baby; ay Dios mío = oh my God; mi amor = my love; te quiero mucho = I love you so much

so I guess this week's theme is Scuderia Ferrari! haha, I hope all of you enjoy this one as always! I can't believe we are already on the 6TH STORY of the midnights series! thank you for all the love you have been giving me in the past weeks since I started, it means the world to me

masterlist

Once upon a time, the planets and the fates

And all the stars aligned

You and I ended up in the same room

At the same time

Once upon a time, in the beautiful city of Milan, dozens of people gathered at a gala dinner to celebrate the anniversary of the iconic racing team that was Scuderia Ferrari.

Like everything associated with the luxury Italian car manufacturer, the dinner was going to be a monumental and remarkable celebration. The red team never did anything less than big, so clearly, no costs had been spared to make the party the best it could be.

It had vintage cars on display, red carpets throughout the corridors, and walls covered in gold frames with images of the team's history over the decades. The ostentation was notable, from the table decorations in the characteristic Ferrari colours to the incredible reception and service of all employees of the gala.

Y/N couldn't believe all the beauty her eyes saw. The young woman almost felt dizzy trying to capture all the details that surrounded her.

Being the daughter of a very busy businessman, it wasn't the first time that the girl ended up having to represent him in business commitments due to his inability to attend. However, as someone who only played a small role in the company's finances, she still felt lost and out of place, especially at a dinner party the size of this one.

The weight on her shoulders of representing her father, one of the team's biggest investors and sponsors, was something that still scared her, no matter how many times she did it.

Y / N walked elegantly across the room, with the sound of her high heels clicking on the floor following her until she reached her table. Her name written on a glass plate indicated where she should sit and she did so, adjusting her long black silk dress so that it wouldn't get crumpled on the chair.

As time progressed, her table was filled with old and arrogant businessmen, more interested in talking about money and showing off their luxury. Y/N made small talk occasionally, but she obviously felt like an outsider.

My father would fit perfectly in here, she couldn't help but think. Critical of her as always, even without being in Italy, he managed to complain about her look for the evening, criticizing her choice of dress for not being red or yellow like the symbol of the Prancing Horse. 

The young woman ended up giving in partially, painting her lips with a red lipstick that she had forgotten in her suitcase, seeking his approval, just like she had done all her life.

Her eyes roamed along the room in search of entertainment, so bored that watching others would be a far more interesting escape than listening to the men talk.

And that's when she saw him, in the same room, at the same time.

In all his splendour, Carlos Sainz, the promising Spanish driver who had just joined Scuderia Ferrari, immediately captured her attention. He was sitting at the bar, in a black suit that fit his muscular frame perfectly, fiddling with his phone, probably just as pleased to be there as she was.

All the stars aligned to bring them there at that moment, and Y/N was determined to take advantage of the chance of a lifetime given to her.

And the touch of a hand lit the fuse

Of a chain reaction of countermoves

To assess the equation of you

Checkmate, I couldn't lose

She sat there for a few minutes while she listed several potential ways to approach the driver.

Could she be straightforward and sit next to him at the bar and try to strike up a conversation? No, that wasn't a good idea. He wouldn't want some random girl bothering him at his first Ferrari show. 

What if she waited for him to look her way and smile at him, or wave at him, something like that? Okay, that was ridiculous. If Carlos didn't look at her all night, Y/N was going to stay there forever staring at him like a stalker, only to go home disappointed.

The young woman needed an excuse to talk to him, something that would allow her to build a master plan that could not fail.

She couldn't lose. She couldn't let this chance pass.

Nothing was going to stop her.

He had to be hers.

And then it hit her, her 'a-ha!' moment. With a completely out-of-the-box idea, the girl got up from her chair, apologised to the people at the table for leaving, and confidently started her mission.

Carlos was sitting at the bar all alone, holding a whiskey in one hand while the other was scrolling through his Instagram feed, until out of nowhere he felt the touch of a small, soft hand on his big, rough one, catching him off guard.

"Sorry about that, but there's this weird guy who keeps bugging me. When I saw you alone, I told him my boyfriend was waiting for me as an excuse for him to leave me alone, I'm sorry." Y/N lied through her teeth and let out a nervous giggle as soon as she saw the Spaniard's shocked face.

Carlos couldn't help but notice the girl's charming figure and the way the dress fit her amazing body in all the right places, still in shock mode not knowing what to say.

Y/N noticed and released a smile. Her plan was kicking off and starting in full force. "I hope you don't have a girlfriend who is going to show up at any moment and pull my hair out for hitting on her man?" She said, laughing more confidently now.

"Don't worry. There is no girlfriend." He smiled at him, allowing their eyes to meet for the first time and squeezing her hand more securely. "So who's the creepy guy?"

"Oh." Oh fuck. Y/N did not expect this question at all. Panicking already about her lie being revealed, the woman impulsively looked over her shoulder and pointed at a random skinny man who had his back to them. "That guy over there, but I think I've already lost him."

Carlos looked in the direction she pointed and a discreet smirk formed on his face. He looked back at the girl and without releasing her hand from his hold, he spoke. "So, what's your name, corazón?"

What if I told you none of it was accidental?

And the first night that you saw me

Nothing was gonna stop me

I laid the groundwork, and then

Just like clockwork

The dominoes cascaded in a line

Though the beginning of the couple's story had been anything but accidental, for the rest of that night, they were all about each other. Attached at the hip, they eventually moved to the driver's table, cocktails in their hands, and just talked for hours on end about everything and anything: from how nervous he was about joining a racing team with a history like Ferrari's, to why she was at that gala, even if she didn't look like one of the normal guests at these celebrations.

The fiery chemistry between them was noticeable to anyone who laid eyes on them, and with him being the hot new addition to the team, countless people were curious about the pair.

The two felt like children again, so much was the joyful enthusiasm that grew inside them. They didn't know if it was something physical or psychological that was happening to them but one thing they both believed: it was something magical.

But love at first sight has these foolish things: for those lucky enough to experience it, it only happens once in a lifetime and it's something that stays with them until the end of time.

After a while, Carlos excused himself to go to the bathroom and Y/N knew it was time to get the second phase of her master plan in order.

When the driver came back, the woman was nowhere to be seen. It was almost as if she were a mirage, a figment of his imagination that simply vanished into thin air.

He looked for her, looking all around the splendorous dining room, but there was no sign of her. What do you mean she left him alone after all the chemistry that was created between the two throughout that night?

It was as he turned back to the table that Carlos noticed the red napkin folded over his plate. Carefully, he picked it up and unfolded it, finding a phone number and the girl's name written in black ink, along with a clumsy heart at the bottom of the note.

If she had planned to have him completely fascinated by her and wanting to see her again more than anything else, she had succeeded.

What if I told you I'm a mastermind?

And now you're mine

It was all by dеsign

'Cause I'm a mastermind

The very next day Carlos gained the courage to text her and make his move since the pawns were now on his side.

From: Unknown

I have a paddock pass with your name on it as my guest waiting for you. Monaco, next Sunday. Hope to see you there, bebé - CS

Her heartbeat immediately sped up as she read that message. However, there was no time to waste.

The show must go on. She had a man to win. Putting her brave face back on, the young woman took a deep breath and decided to send a text playing hard to get, trying to entertain the curiosity he had in getting to know her better.

To: Carlos Sainz

I guess you'll have to wait and see if I show up...

You see, all the wisеst women

Had to do it this way

'Cause we were born to be the pawn

In every lover's game

Sunday morning came in the blink of an eye.

Y/N woke up with the sunlight hitting the window of her hotel room. She got up right away, put on a robe and went to the entrance to the balcony to observe the breathtaking view of Monte Carlo.

The girl could barely contain the butterflies of anticipation that she had in her stomach, anxious to see again the Spaniard who controlled all her thoughts since the gala where they met.

During the days until the race weekend arrived, the couple exchanged messages all the time. Not only did it allow them to get to know each other better, but it also took their relationship to a new level, with the two of them now openly flirting, not afraid to reveal their mutual interest in each other.

Y/N went to her wardrobe and carefully chose her outfit for the day, selecting a simple white jumpsuit and silver open heels. 

She knew that her presence would be noticed, thanks to the importance of her last name, something that worried her a lot. Not because of Carlos, but because of what her father would say.

The businessman had heard from some of his associates about his daughter's interaction with the driver during the Italian team's anniversary, which led to a huge argument between them. Y/N's father expressed his disappointment in (what he thought was) his daughter's lack of professionalism, going so far as to accuse her of being a disgrace to the family name for acting like a 'slut'.

Nothing out of the ordinary for him. The young woman could no longer take the things he said to heart, with so many criticisms and low expectations her dad had of her.

She wasn't going to stop living because of him, especially when it put at risk her relationship with a man as spectacular as Carlos.

Going against her father's orders, Y/N got on their private plane and flew towards Monaco without giving him any explanation of where she was going.

After she finished getting ready, the woman looked at her reflection in the mirror and one of Carlos' many texts echoed in her thoughts: your red lipstick drove me completely crazy to kiss you in Milan. And with that came the next step in her master plan. She took the same lipstick and applied it over her lips. 

Carlos wouldn't be able to resist.

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail

Strategy sets the scene for the tale

I'm the wind in our free-flowing sails

And the liquor in our cocktails

Y/N got into her rented black Ferrari parked outside the hotel and drove the short distance to the circuit. Did she need to have such an ostentatious car with her? No, she didn't. But why not take advantage of her connections with the team to entice the man who was waiting for her?

Arriving at the parking lot, the engine of her car caught the attention of the people who were there. Photographers began to direct their cameras in her direction, flashes going off, waiting to know who was behind the smoked windows driving.

As soon as she got out of the vehicle, she could hear whispers: who was she, where was her father, was she a guest of Scuderia Ferrari, did she have an affair with one of the drivers.

Putting on her sunglasses to protect herself from the sun as well as the flashes, Y/N lifted her head and started to walk confidently towards the entrance where she knew her pass had been left by Sainz and was waiting for her.

On the other side of the paddock, Carlos became aware of the commotion that was settling in at the entrance, wondering which celebrity had arrived this time. Although he was still hopeful, the driver didn't know yet if his dream girl was going to show up.

Seconds later, his colleague Charles approached him and the two sat on two piles of tires, talking about the race that was going to start in half an hour until Monaco's home hero interrupted the conversation.

"Mate, isn't that your girl?" Leclerc, now in on the subject after Carlos told him everything about that night, asked when he saw a figure in white approach their motorhome, with a sea of photographers following close behind her.

"Ay Dios mío, she came." Carlos spoke aloud, blurting out his thoughts as his brain seemed to shut down with the image of her.

Y/N was now mere steps away from the boy and looked directly into his eyes, giving him a sly smile, almost like a scheming criminal plotting something.

With his eyes still locked on her, as if she were the only person in the world at that moment, Carlos watched as she walked right past him into the motorhome, not saying a word to him.

Just a gentle touch on his hand, like she did at the bar on that memorable night.

"Good luck with her, mate." Charles' laughter echoed in the Spaniard's ears as the Monegasque left, leaving Sainz standing there, speechless, all alone.

Carlos woke up from his trance when he felt the flashes on him. The photographers. They sure took pictures of their little moment there.

Oh, she was trouble.

What if I told you none of it was accidental?

And the first night that you saw me

I knew I wanted your body

I laid the groundwork, and then

Just like clockwork

The dominoes cascaded in a line

The man followed her path and entered Ferrari's home, immediately seeing her alone, leaning against one of the walls and concentrating on her phone.

Quickly, the driver reached near her and grabbed her hand, pulling her with him into his driver's room.

On the other hand, the girl hadn't even realized what was happening to her when her back made contact with a wall inside a small room and she heard the door close in a hurry.

The image in front of her left her feeling equally shy and wanting more. Carlos placed both hands on the wall next to her head, making it impossible for her to break free from his hold.

"You're playing with fire, corazón." Carlos moved dangerously close to her, allowing her to feel his warm breath on her neck. "Coming in here teasing me like that."

"Me? Teasing? Never." Y/N replied, running her hand over the fireproof garment that covered the man's toned chest. 

"You're lucky I spent all this time waiting for you to come." He lifted his head, making eye contact with the girl. "You make me lose all control, bebé, I swear. Since the first night I saw you, I've wanted your body."

One of the driver's hands left the wall and he brought it to the young woman's cheek, letting his thumb run gently across her lower lip.

"That red lipstick again." Sainz reduced the distance between them even further, letting his own mouth graze over hers. "You're doing it on purpose."

"What if I am?" She spoke, giving him a look that was a perfect mixture of innocent and provocative.

Carlos glanced at the watch on his wrist for just a second, turning his attention back to her right away. "Then I guess I still have time to show you what happens when I lose control."

Although he ended up in second place in that race, almost reaching the top of the podium, Carlos left Monaco feeling like a winner after that half hour between those four walls.

Nothing would ever make him feel on top of the world like her on top of him.

What if I told you I'm a mastermind?

And now you're mine

It was all my design

'Cause I'm a mastermind

More than a year and a half later, and with the 2022 Formula 1 season now over, Y/N and Carlos were still together and happier than ever.

They overtook everything that came their way, only to get back stronger.

Her father obviously hadn't taken their relationship well from the start, leading the girl to quit the company and cut off contact with him for months on end. only now trying to make amends. Only now, more than a year later, the two were trying to make amends and reconnect, since the businessman contacted her to apologize for everything he had put her through during her life.

The media was also a difficult step to overcome. For a long time, they insisted on invading their privacy due to the business connections between both sides. It was tricky to strike a balance between not being a secret and keeping their relationship to themselves at the same time. But eventually, the two of them managed to get there with the experience that time brought.

Now, the couple was lying in their bed, in the house they had recently bought together in Milan, a city so special to them and that symbolized the beginning of their story.

Being there, in silence, holding each other, with the room lit only by the light coming from the fireplace. That meant the world to them. Those were the kind of moments they cherished the most, especially in such a relationship that required a lot of work with how much he travelled during most of the year.

The young woman was lost in the memories of the past, daydreaming about the beginning of their history, when Carlos intertwined their fingers and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

He was hers.

Just like she designed it like the mastermind she was.

No one wanted to play with me as a little kid

So I've been scheming like a criminal ever since

To make them love me and make it seem effortless

This is the first time I've felt the need to confess

And I swear

I'm only cryptic and Machiavellian

'Cause I care

Perhaps moved by her trip down memory lane, for the first time in their relationship, Y/N felt the sudden need to confess.

Her palms got sweaty as soon as she started to think of all the scenarios that could result from her confession. What if he didn't want her anymore? Would it be worth it to risk an argument over a detail about the day they met?

"Mi amor, what's wrong?" Carlos asked as he felt the heat and sweat between their clasped hands, sitting down on the bed with his body lightly over hers.

"What if I told you none of this was accidental?" She asked nervously, earning back a laugh from her boyfriend's mouth.

"Sorry bebé, but you've lost me now." He confessed.

"The first night that you saw me. I planned the whole thing. There wasn't a creepy guy trying to hit on me. I lied to get you to talk to me." Wasting no time, Y/N let the words out of her mouth before the courage to speak again disappeared.

So I told you none of it was accidental

And the first night that you saw me

Nothing was gonna stop me

I laid the groundwork, and then

Saw a wide smirk on your face

You knew the entire time

Y/N put both hands over her face to hide and avoid seeing the driver's reaction to her admission.

Carlos, on the other hand, could only chuckle as he brought his hands to his partner's wrists in order to expose her face again.

The young woman opened her eyes slowly in fear, only to be faced with a wide smirk on his face as he looked at her as if she had told the greatest joke in the world.

"I'm being serious, babe. I swear it's the truth." She stressed, remaining with her back flat on the mattress and with her boyfriend's body now fully against hers.

"Ay mi corazón, te quiero mucho." Carlos let out a loud laugh and held her face, placing a quick kiss on her lips to calm her down. "I knew the entire time."

"What?" She asked in shock, sitting on the bed and forcing the boy to sit with her.

"You know the random man you said was the perv?" Y/N nodded in response to Sainz's question. "It was my cousin Carlos. He had been with me all night until I went to the bar to get a drink."

Oh. My. God.

Y/N was never going to show up at the next Sainz family gathering.

You knew that I'm a mastermind

And now you're mine

Yeah, all you did was smile

'Cause I'm a mastermind

taglist: @dan3avacado @starxqt @roseinnej @spiidergirlsworld @ccloaned @hotpigeon22 @dr3lover @lovelytsunoda @primadonnasdream @luxebeautystyle @wallfloweriism @ilivefortheleague @gwynethhberdara @satellitelh @adavenus @audreyscodes @wifeoflucyboynton @th6ccnsp6cyy @classifiedsblog @flyingmushroomss @motylekrozi @claramllera @gabrielamaex @handsupforamiracle @pierre-gasssllyy @lorenaloveslewis

@idkiwantchocolatee @simpforsunwoo @kissatelier @xweirdxsceletton @micksmidnights @miniminescapist @inchidentwithmax @hopelesslyromantics-world @alwaysclassyeagle @indieclarke @capela-miranda @okokoksblog @pulpfixion @sins-only33 @sainzclerc @allisonxf1 @honethatty12 @amsofftrack @flannel-cures @junkiespromise @loudoperahumanoidpanda @honeyric3 @holy-macncheese-balls @ricciardosheart @pierreverstapkin

@ravenqueen27 @majkaftorek @home-of-disaster @buendiabebeta @itgirlofnowhere @roses-of-eden @thewintersunset @rubychocolatechips

(taglist continues in the comments)

thank you to everyone that asked to be tagged! please let me know if you want to be added to the next stories! 💌

[momotorin]

momos recent post has me thinking… gp ceo momo x ceo sana being like rivals in their industry and hate fucking each other

like sana invites momo over to a huge party she’s hosting in celebration for winning a big award for their company that momo IS PISSED she didn’t get and sana is soooo petty while telling her about how proud she is in her team

so momo ofc being momo brings sana to some bathroom, no one noticing the hostesses sudden leave because hello there are so many people there and momo fucking the shit out of sana while muffling her moans w her hand ;((

i want them both sooooo bad

you're so right for this omg....

stocks!

gp!ceo!momo x ceo!sana

MEN DNI!!

it's the 27th annual kansai tech gala, and the biggest names in japanese and worldwide technologies were in attendance. one of which, minatozaki sana— the president of minatozaki industries, an established technology provider under a new ruling.

speculations say that the minatozaki empire has a new challenger: hirai tech, a start up in kyoto, owned by the hirais and anchored by the ceo— hirai momo.

sana doesn't really understand the weight of the governor's award, since she has a couple of it on the desk alongside national awards that the company has been winning in the past years.

momo, as an aspirant in the tech and business, looks at the award as something significant and a first for her company. if she wins, it'll be something monumental for her as finally, she could bring something at the family dinner table.

with pride and name up on the gamble for the gala tonight, sana can't miss the way that momo's eyes glisten in awe knowing recent tech inventions from other companies.

she should hate her, but why does she need to look that damn attractive with the coat and dress set she's wearing. damn.

as the night deepens, the gala brings out each event, which doesn't really pique sana's interest that much.

what intrigues her was the way momo held her martini.

"lonely night, superstar?" sana greets, teasing the woman as she sits by her side.

"hello, minatozaki," momo feigns a smile. "what brings you here?"

"wanted a breather from all the talk," sana sighed, signaling the bartender to get tequila. "why haven't you been around?"

"dunno, really didn't feel it with everyone," momo shifts her attention to the laughing men at her table. "it's awful and they smell like my dad."

sana laughs, finding momo genuinely adorable at this moment.

"saw that you haven't looked around too," momo mentions, taking another sip from her drink. "what's up with you, minatozaki?"

"didn't feel like it, either," sana chuckles. "can't really fit in with the chatter."

it's always going to be 'oh! the new minatozaki!' and 'oh! the hirai... is that the youngest, with the startup? not doing pretty well, i see..'. comments from these men who talk like their mouth is on their ass.

to say the least, it's suffocating. momo, as much as she hates being in the same room with minatozaki sana, wanted to stay in this bubble of tequila and martini side by side.

sana smiles at her, "you know, you're not so bad yourself."

"why do you say so?" momo chuckled at sana's randomness.

"i mean, this event is limited to tech pioneers only, like look... japan's finest are here," sana teases. "so being here is great already."

"well, that's a good point," momo just sighs. "but you know damn well why i'm here, right?"

"i know that very well, sweetheart," sana, in her head, flusters at the little slip. "but i bet it's me again this year, don't you think so too?"

turns out, she was right.

although momo's sales in record were reaching highs, and her startup gaining Invertors by the day, she still wasn't chosen by the judges at the kansai tech gala.

it was quite the disappointment.

later in the same week, momo accepts an invitation from her assistant to go to minatozaki sana's party with one thing in mind: hatred.

but blame the heavens for making sana much more attractive than any individual to walk on planet earth.

it was a real, full house, with a dj and smashing drinks type of party. momo, alongside her other executives, get drunk on free drinks. momo's head was fucking spinning and she's getting crazy at the fact that she hasn't seen sana yet.

the music stops for a moment, and sana, in all her dramatic glory, enters the stage with a cocktail in hand.

"hope you're having a nice night, everyone!" she was beaming, momo seeing her in that sparkling dress was like the second coming of christ. she can't believe she's saying those words in her head, but momo is already going crazy at the fact that she couldn't even hold sana. "this party," sana sighs, getting herself in a more comfortable position as she stands at the middle of the stage. "we need to have fun and reward ourselves because once again we've won! thank you everyone, thank you to my co-executives, the board, the managers, the staff, and everyone who makes our company great— this night is for you so, enjoy!"

sana gives out a toast to everyone in attendance, and momo just stares at her. not of ill intent, but with some want that only sana can satisfy.

and fuck, the way that dress fitted on sana made momo's stomach churn.

"hey, having a nice night too?" sana greets, teasing her again by tapping her shoulder. "you're smashed, aren't you?"

"probably?" momo says, half drunk and half conscious. "congratulations on the.. everything."

"aw, thanks," sana nudges at her. "glad you're not mad."

"you know what?" momo's tone suddenly deepens as she dismisses the glass off of her hand. "maybe i am mad. i'm mad at the way that you won and you just party. meanwhile, i have other things to worry about because i built my own ground without my parents and now they're shaming me because i didn't get your useless award," momo chuckled lowly, her disappointment in herself, her parents, and everyone was so evident that it broke sana. "so yeah! maybe we do have a problem!"

and fuck, the way momo raises her voice made sana almost wet her dress. she can't deny it, the woman is fucking hot.

"mo-"

before sana even continues her sentence, she gets dragged by the wrist by momo to the club's spacious bathroom, and now, she's pinned against the door, with momo's hands on the sides of her waist, and their breaths just an inch away.

"god," momo smirks, seeing sana's flustered state. "what would they think if they saw you like this, hm?"

"momo, ple-"

"what?" momo teases, running her hands along the exposed back of sana's dress. "look at you," she says, dragging them carefully to make sana look at herself in the mirror. "you wanted this, didn't you?"

"fuck," sana mutters under her breath. "yes, you don't know how much." sana doesn't know what she's talking about anymore. what matters is that she feels momo's hands trail to clasp her hand, interlocking it with hers as she faced momo's eyes.

momo's breath stilled as she kisses sana, hands tightening on her waist to pull her closer and raise her to the marble countertop.

it's all so intoxicating, all so overwhelming; momo doesn't know if she's drunk or she just wants to get drunk on sana and her undeniably delectable vanilla perfume.

"hmm," momo hums, feeling sana arch her back as she leaves marks on her collarbone. "i should've done this during that award night."

"y-you should've," sana stutters as momo slips off the almost non existent strap of her dress from her shoulders, revealing her supple breasts. "oh, fuck, baby." she moans, throwing her head back as momo kneads her other breast and her lips sucks on her nipple.

momo continues to hum, playing with sana's tits to tease her more. sana was so sensitive under momo's touch and that amused her.

"shit," momo sighs as she parts her lips away from sana's breast, seeing sana's blushed out form. "ah, i'm so hard," she laughs, pulling her pants down to reveal her boxers, her 10 inch cock printing on the fabric. sana licks her lips. "want it?"

"yes," sana fidgets with her fingers, but momo took her hand to palm on her length. momo's breath staggered as sana removed her boxers, her hardness springing to her clothed lower stomach. "hmm, so hard for me," sana began to wrap her hand around momo's length, feeling the girth of it, the veins, and momo's budding precum. she swipes her finger above momo's tip, and momo shudders. sana places her finger to her tongue, tasting momo. "you're fucking delicious, baby."

"don-"

"shh," sana says, just pulling momo closer by a kiss as she removes the rest of her dress, revealing her black lace panties. she guided momo's hand above her wetness. "feel how ready i am for you."

momo feels the wet cloth on her hands, and hooks her fingers to remove it from sana. "fuck, you're so wet," momo spreads sana's soaked pussy lips. "you dreamt of this, didn't you?" she kisses sana once more as she slides her length along her wetness, feeling it spread on her cock.

"i-inside please," sana pleads, her arms wrapping around momo's shoulder as momo inserts her length inside her hole. "fuck!" she screamed, feeling momo sink inside of her. "you're going to break me."

"fuck," momo says, pulling her length out of her pussy. "so fucking tight," momo enters again, burying her cock to the deepest part of her walls as sana moaned loudly. "going to fucking break you."

momo held sana by the waist, her thrusts gradually speeding as she felt sana tighten her pussy walls around her. sana was full on screaming that she was sure people could hear them.

"so loud," momo stops for a while as she flips sana over the counter, her ass now facing her as they see each other in the big mirror of the bathroom. "you're so fucked out already," momo teases, holding sana's hair up to relieve her a little. "should i stop, sweetheart?"

"no, fuck," sana sighs, pulling momo closer by tapping her thighs. "fuck me more."

"hmm," momo chuckled lowly, putting her length inside sana's wetness once more. "fuck." she thrusts, feeling sana pulse her walls against her cock. "are you g'nna cum, baby?"

"yes!" sana shouts, and momo pulls on the makeshift ponytail she made for her, making sana arch her back. sana continued to let out screams, as momo pounded her cock inside of her, hitting every spot she hasn't even known before. "fuck, fuck," sana moans, her grip on the marble was tight because of the pleasure. "more!"

"fuck yeah, baby," momo says, pulling sana up for her to be held by the waist. "you're going to make a mess on my cock, hm?" she whispered on sana's ear as she continued to thrust. "look at your pretty face," she says, making sana look at the mirror. fuck. it was so hot; momo's cock going in and out of her, her smudged lipstick, her messy hair, the marks... sana thinks she's never been better. "shit, you're getting tighter, baby? you like that?"

sana just hums, biting her lip down to at least suppress some of her moans because she knows that she has been so fucking loud. it was useless still.

there was a slam from the door, "sana? you there?"

"shit," momo immediately puts her hand on sana's mouth to muffle her moans as she continues to thrust inside of her. "keep quiet, pretty." momo whispered as her other hand made its way to part her pussy and rub her clit. sana screams on momo's hand.

"no," momo loudly answers, her cock still buried inside of sana's tight pussy. "she's not here!"

the person shouts from the outside, "oh, okay."

momo thrusted faster, with the thrill of knowing that someone was outside. sana's grip on the counter was so tight, and her pussy was literally closing up on momo's length.

"you'll like it even when someone catches us, don't you?" momo teases, whispering again as her fingers rub tight circles on her clit, urging her to cum. "fuck, cum."

sana screams on her hand, her cream spreading on momo's cock as momo continues to thrust inside of her, chasing her own high.

"mmgh," sana moans in the sensitivity as momo removes her hand to put on her waist, thrusting inside her pulsing pussy further. "shit- ah," sana reached out for momo's hand, holding it tight for some sort of support. "i'm fucking sensitive, baby, st-"

momo slaps sana's ass, a red mark leaving on her as she trusted, "i don't fucking care," momo growls, her cock already so wet and soaked with sana's juices. "i need to cum inside of you."

"fuck, yes please!" sana screamed as momo's thrusts stuttered, now focusing on hitting her g-spot. sana comes once more, and momo's cock pulsed, white ropes of cum shooting inside of her.

"haah," momo sighs, holding sana close as she feels sana lose balance. she removes her length away from sana's pussy, so wet and trickling with both of their bodily juices. she held sana once more, helping her to get on the marble countertop, making her sit. "wait, fuck," she said, getting a couple of tissues from the tissue box and helping sana clean up their mess. "we made a mess."

"thanks," sana stares at momo, who was cleaning up the inside of her thighs and slipping her panties back on. "you're not as bad as i think you would."

"you really thought that i suck at fucking?" momo laughs, also cleaning her soaked dick before tucking it away inside her boxers.

"you look like a loser, can't help to think that you fuck like one too," sana teases, kissing momo's cheek. "what about... taking this to my place?"

"good offer, champ," momo chuckles, helping sana zip up her dress once more and fix her hair. "but you've got a night to finish."

"oh shit," sana curses at the realization. "how long were we out?"

"like," momo looks down at her watch. "i dunno, 45 minutes? someone was finding you by the door a little while ago."

"ah, alright, they probably wouldn't mind..." sana chuckles, her arms wrapping around momo's shoulders as they kiss once more. "see you next time, loser."

"sure," momo laughs. "g'nna fuck you 'till you break, next time, baby."

[joesalw]

The thing that annoys me about taylor stans is that they can't just admit that some things she does are shitty. Like, i'm not saying you have to think she's a shit person ( i mean i do) but at least acknowledge that she has done wrong. Like, it's shitty that she was emotionally cheating on joe. It's shitty that she's the biggest celebrity on this planet yet refuses to speak out on any political or social issues unless it'll have a positive impact on her. It's shitty that she keeps bringing up drama from years ago in order to get her fans to attack these people ( i don't like kim as much as the next person but damn, just get a diary, taylor). It's shitty that she drove her massive fanbase to attack joe, someone who struggles with mental ilness, especially when he did nothing wrong. It's shitty that she dated a racist and then proceeded to talk shit about her fans who called that out. I mean i could go on but you get it lol.

just give them a list and they'll twist everything to make her look like an ultimate victim of circumstances but also a girlboss who keeps winning! whatever narrative they want to pursue at that point

[droolingvenus]

People Who Deserve To Kill Palpatine and Who They Have Celebratory Sex With On His Desk After

Commander Fox: Guys, you KNOW this man deserves to off his shitty boss, thus living the fantasy of many, many people. I think that Senator Chuchi is an obvious choice, but she strikes me as not quite that type of lady, she would consider it, but I think she'd be more scared about getting caught than turned on by the possibility of it. Quinlan Vos would definitely be game to bang on Palpatine's desk, and if not with Fox, well, the Senate building should invest in some Jedi-proofing security measures, Quinlan would also be the one to leave some kind of evidence. He wants someone to know there was people doing the dirty on the dead man's desk, he strikes me as the type to get off on a little law breaking being involved.

More under the cut!

Padme Amidala: This woman trusted Palpatine immensely, and though that trust didn't last until her death, she still never expected Palpatine to be that kind of corrupt. Depending on what way things went, Anakin and her would be there to kill Palpatine together or Padme would do it herself because he took her beloved husband away from her. Afterwards, she and Anakin defile Palpatine's desk, or his desk chair, or both, or she finds someone else, probably someone she has a history or affection for, and lets herself feel some good feelings, knowing that she at least got the biggest threat to her galaxy out of the picture. And she's probably getting good sex afterwards, so she enjoys the day.

Bo-Katan: Palpatine basically allowed Maul to kill her sister and terrorize her people, and what happens to Mandalore after the end of the Clone War? Horrific. Palpatine can rot in hell just for that. I think, if she had Pre Vizsla around somehow (AU maybe?) he would be her first choice, because I do believe that she loved him, no matter how misguided that love was. If Vizsla wasn't available, Obi-Wan would be an option in her mind, he was screwed over by Palpatine too and it might not be out of the question for him to be the one helping her kill Palpatine. Proximity to the location and each other, the adrenaline of assassinating a Sith Lord, it's plausible to me.

Pretty much everyone Clone Commander/Captain and their Jedi General: Definitely Cody and Obi-Wan would assassinate Palpatine if given the chance and then have passionate sex on the desk and desk chair to celebrate the occasion. Bly and Aayla probably wouldn't be the ones likely to do it in canon, but we ignore canon a lot around here, so I think they deserve to stab and shoot the hell out of the wrinkly bastard and then have sex on every possible surface in the office. Wolffe and Plo Koon deserve to assassinate Palpatine, but they would probably (Definitely) bring their own partners to do the deed with. Plo, for once, pulls his rank card so he gets first dibs on the defiling, and Wolffe concedes, though he was pouty about Plo not letting him go first.

Lastly for now, Bail and Breha Organa: Just because it wasn't predicted or known at the time that their planet would become an asteroid field doesn't mean that Bail and Breha don't have their anger and bitterness towards Palpatine. Yes, Bail and Breha can be imperfect, and I think they should be allowed to have sex on Palpatine's desk, and probably renew their wedding vows at some point, they seem like the type.

I might add more later, but these are the ones who came to my mind first!

[particular-one]

dropped your hand while dancing.

pairing. gepard landau x gn!reader cw. angst. hurt/no comfort. failed relationships. fluff to angst. passing mention of alcohol. marriage proposals. set after the events of the jarilo-vi trailblaze mission. author's note. this song destroys me every time i listen to it, soooo. if this fic ever sees the light of day, know that this stayed in the vault for terribly long. my debut solo geppie fic...! and its angst. whoopsies.

despite the absence of the morning sun, belobog was glowing in anticipation in celebration for one of, if not the biggest event that the city would hold for the year.

the cityfolk were crowding around the central plaza of belobog, excitedly chatting away for the display of romance that they will be seeing in less than an hour as others continued to fix the decorations in the area. from a distance, the children were running amok near where the snacks were located just as their parents exasperatedly tried to get them to behave.

and you were in the middle of all that bustle, your grip snaked around the stem of your champagne glass and a faraway smile on your face at the sight of it all.

it was the wedding today. and it was everything you imagined and hoped it could be — and even more.

silks as white as belobog's snow proliferated every part of the venue, decorated with blue petals that you can only surmise as gepard's favorite flowers. the captain, no matter how much he enjoyed doing so, was terrible at gardening. the first time he told you about it, you had laughed in his face, watching as his ears turned red in embarrassment as he tried to hide his reaction.

how exactly did you and gepard meet? you hailed from the underworld, so your judgement about silvermane guards had been clouded. everything was scarce down in the underworld, thus, you did not exactly have the most fulfilling of lives in the past. natasha had been your parental figure since you were a child, but even the promise of her protection was not enough to hinder you from wanting to leave jarilo-vi.

when the fateful day had arrived, you remembered how your heartbeat quickened in pace as you raced up to the overworld — only to be greeted by the incarnation of the sun himself, just as how you remembered thinking when you first laid eyes on gepard.

he had been leading the silvermane guards in ensuring the smooth entry of the underworld citizens when the both of you locked eyes for a little too longer than a minute. needless to say, you were drawn to the captain of the silvermane guards against your own judgements.

and he was too, you knew that for sure.

you were dragged away from daydreaming too much just as someone bumped into you — a young girl, probably around the age of twelve, donned with two brown pigtails in her hair who shouted an apology to your direction (probably because she bumped into you), before she disappeared the other way. almost right after her, a young boy, the same age as her, was shouting for her to stop running, but you could see that unmistakable smile in that boy's face that you could probably assume as affection.

you could definitely forgive a little lover's chase.

your hands had been flipping through the parchments that supposedly included the map of the vast universe — or at least, only the planets existing in the data archives — that you had traded your credits for when you felt a pair of calloused hands wrap around your eyes.

“guess who?” you laughed, knowing very well that only one person in the world would dare to do this to you. “i know it’s you, gepard.”

your lover chuckled at the sound of his name, before you felt that small peck on your head and his fingers intertwining with your free hand as gepard took the seat adjacent to you. “what are you up to?”

your other hand had been preoccupied with tracing the path of nearby planets to jarilo-vi, the ripples in the paper creating the feeling of excitement as your finger brushed across the map. you could feel gepard’s eyes on you as you didn’t respond, only engrossed in what was right in front of you.

whether or not the captain seemed to mind that you didn’t answer him, gepard simply squeezed your hand in his, just as you could hear him move closer to you. “you got another map?”

“yup! who would have thought there were neighboring planets near us? if i could just save up enough credits… i’ll be off on the next ship away from this planet.” the prospect of escaping the planet had long allured you when you were child; quite inevitably, you still hadn’t lost sight of your goal to get away from your home planet, desperate to seek out another that wouldn’t let you down like jarilo-vi has.

gepard hummed amicably in your excitement, though you had half-expected that he’d share something else to your own musings, just like he always did. “is something on your mind, geppie?”

“no, no. everything’s fine." his words spoke with utmost reassurance, but the same reassurance didn’t quite seem to reach his eyes. you could feel a pit of uncertainty in your stomach, but you didn’t know if it was right to push; so, you simply turned back to your map.

“one day, i’ll definitely fulfill my dreams and start my life the day i’m away from here!” you boasted in pride, just as you see your love stare at you with an expression that you could never quite comprehend that night.

you had downed your third champagne of the event, just as you absentmindedly set down the empty glass on the table where the rest of the food sat. you barely even caught a whiff of the roasted poultry, but your stomach already grumbled at the pristine sight of the delectable food enclosed inside the chafing dish.

even as you hear the silvermane guards curse about the lopsided flower decoration that looked like it was about to fall, even when you overheard that the officiant of the wedding seemed to be running late, everything still looked perfect.

and you could only assume that it was gepard’s own doing. he would want this day to be something to be remembered, after all.

you had been too engrossed in your latest reads that you hadn’t realized that it was an hour past midnight if it wasn’t for the multitude of buzzing notifications coming from your phone.

naturally, it came from your partner, with countless ones that asked where you were and if you had eaten. your stomach grumbled at the thought; clearly, you had not.

so there you were, dragging your feet as you hurriedly ran back home — the shared quarters that you shared with gepard. you had only moved in with him several months into your relationship which … took a lot of convincing from gepard’s part.

he really wanted to try living with you, he had pleaded. and you found it difficult to say no to him when he looked so excited about the promise of it all.

your hand twisted the handle of the door, trying to quietly enter so as not to wake gepard up. the lights were closed, so you had figured that he might have been asleep.

swinging the door open, you tiptoed your way into the place that gepard had referred to as the living room. your body was aching from running out in the rigid cold weather, so all you wanted was to sink yourself into the velvety couch, but you didn't expect to see gepard sprawled over in the couch, no doubt fast asleep.

right in front of him sat two plates of belobog sausage with a messy pile of rice. though one of the plates included a half-eaten sausage and barely any trace of the rice, the other remained untouched, almost as if it were waiting for someone.

you. gepard had been waiting to eat with you.

guilt crept up to you, as you took a bite of the food that he prepared for you. it was no longer warm, as you had anticipated — which only meant that he had been waiting for a while before you finally came home.

"hey, hey geppie." you were gently shaking his shoulder just as you could feel him stir under your touch. "thanks for the food. i .... i'm sorry i didn't answer your calls." though gepard didn't fully awaken, you could feel his shoulders tense before visibly relaxing at the sound of your voice. "mmm,,... love you, y/n." he murmured, before you could hear the faint beginning of his snores.

no doubt, he was tired. you had leaned over to give him a quick kiss on the head, just like he always did, but stopped midway. your hands were grazing the side of his face, before pulling away to instead drape a blanket over his sleeping form.

i love you too, gepard, you thought.

you didn't understand what had stopped you, nor why you couldn't find the voice to return his words, but you simply chalked it up to your torpor. not before long, your own exhaustion finally caught up to you and claimed you as you fell into a deep slumber.

"y/n?" the familiar voice of gepard's sister brought you away from your thoughts, as you whirled around to see serval, carrying her guitar in one hand and a couple papers in the other. your eyes widened when she ran over to envelop you in a warm embrace, holding all of those items and all. you had almost expected that she would ... well, never mind that.

"you're here! i... i'm- well, this is a pleasant surprise." you had allowed yourself to smile just as serval studied you intently. "of course. i wouldn't miss this for the world." a bitter laugh spilled from your lips, and you had only hoped that serval was not as perceptive as usual.

"well— i need to finish handing these out, but let's chat later, alright?" serval, as jovial as ever. you had almost anticipated the cold shoulder with how things had culminated, but she didn't.

but somehow, you wished that serval did. or more importantly, he would. maybe it would make the pain of forgetting a little less unbearable.

the day you had been waiting for finally arrived. at last, you had almost enough credits to buy your way out of jarilo-vi and start your life elsewhere. the tantalizing thought of fulfilling your lifelong dream had kept you on your toes, but the excitement was even more magnified when you remembered your anniversary with gepard, who had promised you a night to remember.

"what's all this?" to say that you were surprised was an understatement; your quarters, once a messy pile of armor, plates and nearly wilted flowers, had been transformed into a place befitting a romantic candlelight dinner.

which was ... also what gepard had prepared, as he stood in front of the table with a bashful smile. he had been holding a bouquet of fresh red roses, that his hand stretched out to hand to you. "it's for you. happy anniversary, beloved."

there were two glasses of champagne in front of your seats, along with a plate of— "is that stone-grilled olm?!" you exclaimed, to which gepard's smile shone brighter than the sun at the sound of your excitement. "i thought this was discontinued?!"

gepard only chuckled. "i may.. have pulled a few strings." you set the bouquet down as you took your seat across gepard. oh, you can already feel your stomach grumbling. "let's eat?"

you hadn't replied to him anymore, only digging in like a ravenous monster devouring its prey. you had missed the food served in the underworld, as most of them had discontinued their services after they found work in more in-demand places. you hadn't realized that gepard was just watching you eat, a small smile playing on his lips before disappearing when you let out a sound of confusion.

"you're not going to eat?" you asked, midway through a spoonful of olm in your mouth. gepard shook his head. "i, i will. in a bit." he took a sip from his glass, but his gaze never left you. you suddenly grew self-conscious, as you slowed your pace in eating the food.

"hey, y/n—" "yes?" your head snapped up, to gepard's surprise. silence fell between the both of you, before he cleared his throat to continue. "i... well, happy anniversary." you chuckled, as your fork speared through a piece of olm. "you already told me that, silly."

you had not expected to see gepard looking so nervous though, almost as if he had been hiding something. your eyes narrowed in sudden suspicion, before transforming into a more tender concern. "everything alright, geppie?"

before you knew it, gepard had reached over to hold your hand, his gaze finally meeting yours head on. "y/n. i... i know it had only been a little over two years that we had been together but it.. it has only strengthened my resolve more than anything." you didn't understand where all of this were coming from. "geppie..."

"you... you mean the entire universe to me. you are my sun, my moon and my stars. i... i know that you have your plans of leaving this city, and i understand and completely respect your decision but... i have never felt this strongly about someone, and i don't think i ever will for anyone else."

you only thought that these kind of things only happened in the tales that natasha would read to you during bedtime, but here it was unfolding, as you watched gepard get down in one knee before finally unveiling what he had been obviously hiding behind his back.

a ring. a beautiful diamond encrusted ring that you can only imagine costed millions of credits.

and it was for you.

"y/n, would you make me the happiest man alive and be my spouse?"

you could stare at gepard, mouth agape and a tidal wave of emotions threatening to sink you down from where you sat. "gepard, i—"

"we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of the captain of the silvermane guard, gepard landau and his spouse..."

of course. the wedding was starting. you blinked back tears just as you made your way to where you had resigned yourself to when you broke the captain's heart: in the sidelines.

even when half a decade has passed, you could never forget the night that gepard proposed to you with bated excitement in his eyes, you could never forget how you raised your voice in incredulity at him at the prospect of settling down in this forsaken planet, you could never forget how his sun-like smile twisted into a heartbroken frown as you uttered the word that shattered all his dreams.

you had said no to him that night, all because you did not want to be shackled down in the planet that you had made a long-standing pact to yourself to leave.

and now, you were paying the price for your own foolishness as you watched gepard marry another.

it was the first time since you saw gepard since you closed the door on him, as he stood at the end of aisle and fitted in the most stunning white suit that complemented his features. his hair had been parted in a way that made his look even more formal, but you somehow missed the tousled curls that were all over his face.

he still looked handsome as ever, which just made your heart clench in pain. you had taken the best thing in your life for granted, after all.

when you left jarilo-vi at last, all you were filled with was regret in leaving him behind. though you had earnestly enjoyed living in a different planet, you’d sometimes think about the domestic exchanges you shared with gepard during the time you were together.

when you had received a mail signed under landau, your heart had simply raced in excitement, only to fall flat on the ground when you read the contents of the invitation.

your thoughts had drowned out the words of the officiant, as your eyes only followed one person alone. gepard was standing in front, his hands joined with his would-be partner. despite the absence of the morning sun, you could have sworn the entire venue could have been lit up by gepard's smile alone.

you remembered how happy he got whenever you compared his smile to the sun. he never stopped smiling at you, afterward.

"do you, gepard landau, take auberon chevalier as your lawfully wedded spouse?” right as the officiant finished his words did gepard’s eyes finally meet yours, and it was almost as if the both of you were transported back to the first time you met each other.

gepard’s eyes seemed to widen at the sight of you, that you noticed that he never replied to the officiant’s words. “captain landau?” the crowd seemed perturbed at the sudden pause, just as you could feel your heart beat loudly against your chest.

there was a hint of despondency in his eyes as he met yours, and you could feel your breath hitch. in truth, you had half expected that the reason why you decided to show up to his wedding in the very planet you swore never to return to was to change his mind, but looking at him right now … you knew that would have been such a selfish thing to do.

“sorry, i do.” after a few moments, you watched as gepard finally managed to tear his gaze away from you. the officiant seemed relieved that nothing seemed to be going awry and continued on. “and do you, auberon chevalier…”

still, despite all— you were happy that someone had picked up gepard’s heart after you had impetuously stomped all over his, something you could never forgive yourself for.

even when the sight before you tore your heart to shreds, you were unbelievably happy that gepard had found someone he would feel so strongly about, and most importantly, someone who would not drop his heart like how you did.

you hadn’t realized that the officiant had finally pronounced them as spouses to one another until you heard the crowd go wild in cheers. gepard had finally kissed his spouse, as the people around you grew even wilder in screams.

in another life, you thought to yourself just as you finally stopped blinking back the tears that had threatened to spill from your eyes.

in another life, if i could love him again, i’d love him right this time.

written by carlyle (@particular-one) copyright: all content belongs to particular-one on tumblr (2023)

[arlana-likes-to-write]

What Was I Made For? By Billie Eillish

Summary: After Yelena returns to Soyna's apartment from failing to kill Clint Barton she begins to question her place in this world. Luckly for her, you are there to lend a helping hand.

Warning: Self-doubt, Fluff, Lots of drinking, mention of Natasha's death, Yelena needs the biggest hug.

Word Count: 2.7k

The front door slammed shut and alerted you to her arrival. But you didn’t get out of bed when you heard the hushed voices of Yelena and Soyna through the door. It was when you heard one set of footsteps storm off, you climbed out of bed and opened the door. You lived with Sonya when she and Yelena exposed you to the Red Dust. She offered you a room until you decided what was next. However, that was the problem. You weren’t sure what was next. All of your life you followed orders and behaved like a good soldier to complete the orders to a man that no longer existed. He could no longer hurt you. What were you to do now? “How is she?” You asked. Soyna was resting her hands on the kitchen counter.

“She didn’t complete the mission,” that was a surprise. Yelena always completed the mission. You didn’t know anything about her newest assignment, just that the target was in New York City and she would be staying here until she finished the job. You sighed, walked over to the fridge, and took out two bottles of vodka.

“I’m guessing she’s on the roof,” you put on your sneakers and winter jacket.

“Zvezda (star),” you stopped before going up the fire escape. “I don’t think she wants to talk to anyone.” You smiled at your friend.

“Well, it’s lucky I’m someone special,” you opened the window and stepped onto the fire escape, closing it behind you. Zvezda it was a nickname Yelena gave you. The Red Room assigned you to a rising crime lord in the New York and New Jersey area. At least that was what Soyna told you. The things you did for them would come in flashes, mostly in nightmares. Once you adjusted to having your mind and body back, you got a tattoo of Saturn on your arm. The planet symbolized stubbornness, stability, and authority. It was for anyone that wished to take control of their life. That was what you needed. A gentle reminder that you were in control of your life and the end of your story. So they tried to give you the nickname of ‘planet’, ‘Saturn’ but you didn’t like any of them until Yelena came up with star. It fit you well.

You stepped onto the roof, the winter air caused goosebumps to form on your legs. “I came up here because I do not want to talk,” Yelena said, without turning around. She sat on the roof’s edge, legs dangling above the city below.

“Good thing I don’t want to talk,” you said, sitting down next to her. It was close enough that you felt the warmth radiating from her but you gave her enough space to not overcrowd her. It was a delicate dance to play with the blonde. You opened the bottle. “Drink.” You offered her it but she didn’t take her eyes off the busy city street below. You took a sip from the bottle, the burn made the hair on the back of your neck stand up. You put the bottle between you and her, leaning back and looking at the city. It was beautiful this time of year. Red and white lights danced in the darkness. You wondered what it was like to celebrate Christmas. Holidays weren’t celebrated in the Red Room. Holidays were used as an easy way to get into a party to find a target. It was another day of training and another night handcuffed to your bed.

“You are going to catch a cold wearing that,” she took a generous sip from the bottle.

“And I thought you didn’t want to talk Belova,” she was wearing her black tactical suit. A smirk was on her face as she took another sip and you picked up the bottle, mirroring her. The other Widows liked to tease you that Yelena had a soft spot for you. She rarely snapped or became annoyed with you but you contributed to not bothering her. You let her exist, not forcing her to talk.

“What did Soyna tell you?” She still refused to look at you.

“You didn’t complete the job,” you shrugged. “I didn’t ask more. Not my place.” It was true. If Yelena refused to kill the man or woman then it had to be a good reason.

“Why are you here then?” Finally, she looked at you. Her green eyes were red, her cheeks blotchy, and dried tears on her cheeks.

“Just to sit here and be your friend,” you took another sip. You felt her eyes on you soon it became too much and you looked at her. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”

“I do not know,” you nodded.

“Well, when you do know I’m here,” you continued to sit in silence, passing the bottle back and forth until it was empty and you opened the next one. The alcohol was making you feel warm like you were surrounded by a big hug. Yelena rubbed her eyes, suppressing a yawn. “Come on,” you stood up, wobbling slightly. You didn’t know if it was from the alcohol or your legs being asleep. You weren’t drunk, a little tipsy at best. “You should get some sleep.” The blonde groaned and you held out your hand. She sighed, took it, and grabbed the fuller bottle before standing up. She stumbled more than you did. Was she drinking before she came back to the apartment? You were a few inches taller than her and you caught the blonde when she stumbled forward. Her head fell into the crock of your neck. Her warm breath caused goosebumps to form on your skin.

“You smell good,” she mumbled. “Like euc-euc eucalyptus,” she stumbled over the word a few times which caused her to giggle. You rolled your eyes.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed. You walked in front of Yelena as you led her down the fire escape. Your hand lingered on her hip now and again to steady her. When you opened the window, the apartment was quiet. You weren’t sure if Soyna went to bed or went out. Yelena was eyeing the couch that had been her bed for the past few nights. “Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?” You asked as if you could read her mind. She looked at you, her green eyes wide.

“Can I?” She whispered. It was so rare to hear such vulnerability in her voice.

“Of course, you can,” you took the bottle from her and put it back in the fridge, making a mental note to buy Soyna two new bottles. You grabbed Yelena’s hand and brought her to your room. The first time she was in her was when she dropped you off. You’ve changed it since then, added posters of bands you liked and pictures you’ve taken around the city. She sat on the edge and looked around your room. “Do you want to change?”

“Clothes are out there,” she pointed to the door. “Don’t wanna move,” you giggled. “What’s so funny?” She asked as you walked to your closet.

“Your just cute,” you saw a blush rise to her cheeks. “I have stuff you can use,” you grabbed her a long sleeve shirt and an extra pair of sleep shorts. You handed them to the blonde but knelt on the floor to take off her boots. She didn’t fight you but watched you with a curious expression. “Do you need help changing?” Yelena shook her head. “Okay, I’ll be right back.” You left your room with her boats in hand to give her some privacy. You filled two glasses with water before returning to your room. Yelena was changed and resting her back on your headboard. You placed both glasses of water on your nightstand. “Did you get hurt tonight?” She hesitated but shrugged. “Do you want me to look at it?”

“No,” she simply said. You turned on the light you had on your nightstand and turned off the overhead light before climbing into bed. She copied you, getting under the covers, and lay down to face you. Tears swelled in her eyes.

“Yelena,” you whispered. “Are you okay?” She shook her head, a sob escaping her lips. You didn’t think and brought the emotionally distraught Black Widow into your arms. She tensed up at the sudden contact but you felt her hands grip onto your shirt like a lifeline. “Sh, you’re okay,” you whispered, undoing the braid in her hair and running your fingers through her blonde locks. “Your safe. Your safe.” You kept repeating it until her cries turned into hiccups and her breathing evened out. She was fast asleep in your arms. You wondered if she ever allowed herself this peace, this safety net to fall back on. Yelena always seemed so strong, barely showing any emotion. It had to be exhausting. You allowed yourself a few minutes of soothing her before falling asleep.

*

It took a few moments for Yelena to recognize where she was, alone, in a room she had only seen in passing but never dared to go in. Your room. It always seemed welcoming, warm, and inviting. Yelena groaned, pushing her hands to her temples. Her head was pounding. She wasn’t sure if it was from all the alcohol she drank or the crying. She couldn’t remember the last time she cried, especially in front of someone. It was embarrassing and threatened the way she presented herself. But last night was the best night’s sleep she’s had in a long time. Yelena saw the glass of water and medicine you left out for her. There was a part of Yelena that was curious about where you ran off to but the much louder part was dreading to face you. With a sigh, she finished the water and ventured into the apartment. You were in the kitchen, mixing something into a metal bowl. “Where is Soyna?” Yelena asked. You jumped slightly.

“She ran to the store so I’m in charge of breakfast,” you smiled. “I’m making pancakes.”

“Do you need help?” Yelena offered. She wasn’t well versed in the kitchen, surviving mostly on take-out or easy microwave dinners.

“Can you make coffee?” That was something she could do and she was grateful to do something. You turned up the music you were listening to and the kitchen was no longer quiet. When the coffee started, Yelena couldn’t help but watch you move around the kitchen. You were so different than the other Widows she’s saved from Dreykov’s claws. You were soft, caring, and like Melina said all those years ago to her and Natasha you kept your heart. Her heart was tainted, blackened with grief and a thirst for revenge. But she felt empty, lost, and without a purpose. “Your thinking too hard,” your voice pulled her out of her thoughts. “Sit. The food is done.” Yelena did what she was told and sat down. You placed a plate in front of her with syrup and coffee from the pot. Why were you doing this? Yelena wasn’t deserving of your kindness. “Yelena, stop thinking and just eat.” You smiled. Your smile made her stomach flip.

“Thank you,” she took a bite of the food. “It’s really good.”

“I’m glad you like it,” you both ate in silence, allowing the music to fill it. But her mind started to wander and it went back to your room. Yelena had a room at Melina’s farm, she rarely used it as she slept in hotels or apartments of the Widows she’s helped. The room wasn’t decorated, and she didn’t have posters or pictures to hand up. The only picture she had was a ripped photo strip of her and Natasha.

“Yelena,” she looked at you. “Are you okay?” She forced a smile.

“I’m okay, malen’kaya zvezda (little star), no need to worry.” She wasn’t expecting you to frown.

“Your not okay,” you said. Your blunt comment surprised her. “And that’s okay. We can’t always be strong. We have to break now and again.” Yelena chuckled, shaking her head.

“Tell me, how did you keep your heart?” She asked. You didn’t mask the confusion on your face. “Your heart is good. They didn’t taint it.” Your frown deepened.

“Do you not think your heart is good?” Yelena couldn’t find an answer. How could she tell you she was hired to kill an Avenger and she believed the lie that he killed her sister? “I think your heart is good,” you continued. “You wouldn’t do what you do if your heart wasn’t good.” Yelena laughed bitterly, looking out towards the window. She wondered what Clint and Kate were doing right now. Were they celebrating Christmas?

“Do you ever wonder why we were put through the Red Room?” She asked. “Besides following Dreykov’s orders and taking down countries and starting wars. But what about now? The Red Room is gone and we are left with these kills,” she sighed, running her hands through her hair. “What was I made for? I used to know but I’m not sure now.” Yelena looked at you. You were watching her intensely, it made her feel small and foolish under your graze for opening up like this. But she couldn’t stop.

“Sometimes I don’t feel real,” she continued. “I’m just something someone paid for. I don’t know how to feel,” Quietly, you rested your hand on top of hers. Yelena was surprised she didn’t pull away.

“What was your mission?” You asked. Yelena stared at your connected hands.

“Someone put a hit on Clint Barton,” she didn’t need to loop up for you know you knew the name. “Valentina gave me the job. She said,” Yelena sighed, closing her eyes. Her throat began to burn as she felt her emotions start to overpower her. “She said he had a hand in my sister’s death.”

“Did he?” You whispered. Yelena shook her head.

“No. It’s why I didn’t kill him,” you didn’t say anything instead you ran your fingers across her hand. It was soothing. “I wonder,” Yelena continued. “If Valentina is like Dreykov. I’m blindly following orders without thinking for myself.” It was your turn to sigh and Yelena glanced up at you. You were deep in thought, staring at the now empty plate.

“You and I and every other Widow were not given a fair or easy life,” Yelena counted herself lucky for the 3 years in Ohio. She was given a family, even though it was for a mission. It was more than some of the other girls had. “We were born to be used, and abused, and controlled but I know that isn’t the end of our story.”

“What is the end?” Yelena asked. You finally began to smile.

“I don’t know but we are free, Yelena. We write our own story. No man or woman can take that from us,” you squeezed her hand. “You were made to be anything you want.” Yelena scuffed, shaking her head. You made it sound so easy.

“I don’t know what I want,” there was one thing she wanted more than anything in the world. She wanted more time with her sister. It was so unfair how little time they had together. You removed your hand as you started cleaning up the breakfast. Yelena hated to admit how much she missed it.

“Well, I would stop working with Valentina,” you loaded the dishwasher. “Go on a vacation. Swim in the ocean. Eat your weight in ice cream,” Yelena chuckled. Once you were happy with how the kitchen, you leaned back on the counter. “That’s the beautiful and scary thing about being free there is no limit to what we can do,” Yelena smiled, a real when. She wasn’t sure how long it had been since she smiled.

“You still didn’t answer my question,” she said. “How did you keep your heart?” You shrugged.

“They tried to break it,” you told her. Your smile was no longer happy. “But I had to believe the horror we were subjected to wasn’t our end. It gave me hope,” this time Yelena grabbed your hand and interlocked her fingers with yours.

“Will you join me?” She asked. “On my self-discovery journey.”

“Yeah, of course,” you said. “I’d follow you anywhere you go.” Yelena felt a warm feeling grow in her chest. She couldn’t blame the alcohol or her grief. You were to blame for this giddy feeling that she had about the future. For once, Yelena wasn’t afraid and she hoped to make her sister proud.

_

Might return to this little AU in the future. May add some angst in Part 2. We'll see what happens and how I'm feeling lol

[separatist-apologist]

May I humbly request an emotional support snippet of one of your wips? Apologies for the presumption, I love how your writing sweeps me away and it’s been an awful (feeling nauseous and wanting to cry because of stress) work day, and it isn’t going to be any better for at least a week. 😭

How humbling to hear your writing makes someone feel better 🥺. I wish I knew what you liked. I hope this is good!

"You can read me like a book. Should I take you upstairs or would you like if I just had my way with you right here in the hall?”

Arina took a reflexive step backward. “On the floor seems like your style,” she lied. Eris seemed like the kind of man who didn’t make noise during sex. In fact, as she thought about it—simply to make fun of him, of course—she pictured him as the kind of man who thanked a woman afterward for a satisfactory time before calling her an uber and forgetting the whole thing ever happened. Sex was likely like brushing his teeth or showering for him. Something he did because he needed to, but not out of any sense of enjoyment.

Stop thinking about sex with Eris Vanserra.

Eris’s eyes flickered to the floor as if he were considering it. “Tempting,” he said in a tone that made it impossible to determine if he was being serious or not. “And Lucien?”

“Seems weird, but you’re not my brothers—”

“Where is he?” Eris interrupted, cheeks flaming all over again. “This isn’t a joke, Arina.”

Crossing her arms over her chest, Arina stared him down. “Why don’t you let him have a good time for onc—”

“Our father is dead.”

Oh.

“Oh,” she breathed. “I…should I say sorry? Or congratulations?” she asked, the liquor making her tongue looser than he was. Eris’s eyes widened as though he couldn’t believe what she’d said.

Scrambling, Arina added, “It’s just, he was such a miserable bastard from the stories and I…sorry. I’m sorry. I—I’ll get him.”

Eris didn’t move as Arina turned, feeling like the biggest asshole on the planet. Who congratulated a person on their dead dad? She’d need to get black out drunk to forget she’d done that, or else she’d ruminate on it until she died.

Arina found Lucien in the backyard, leaned up against their rotting, wooden fence while he watched Elain play a rather vicious looking game of badminton.

“Your brother is here,” Arina informed him as Lucien grinned at her. That smile immediately drooped.

“He can’t take a fucking hint,” Lucien grumbled, pulling out his phone. “Tell him to get fucked.”

“I already congratulated him on your dead dad,” Arina admitted, earning a booming laugh from Lucien.

“Oh, I’ll bet he loved that,” Lucien said.

“He looks pissed,” Arina admitted glumly. “I took it too far.”

Dragging his eyes off Elain, Lucien pulled his phone out of his pocket to show a photoshopped meme sent by his brother that featured what she assumed was their fathers head slapped atop the Wicked Witch of the West.

He’s dead, read the message beneath, complete with the celebration emojis.

“Just go talk to him,” Arina said, shoving Lucien toward the house. “If you’re that interested in Elain, make her work for it a little.”

Lucien turned with interest, only to be shoved again. “What does that mean?”

“You’re making it too easy for her and you’re gonna end up as a back-up booty call. Go live your life and let her see you don’t need her so she can want you.”

“That doesn’t work,” Lucien said skeptically, though he slowed to match pace with Arina. “Does it?”

She had no idea, honestly. She’d met Elain already a year into her relationship with Graysen, and this was the first time she’d ever seen her friend single. Lucien was absurdly handsome, too, but in a way that made you want to introduce him to your mom and buy a house to raise children in. Lucien looked like he yearned for the PTO.

Lucien looked like the kind of man who raised his children and the guy Elain was currently dragging up to her bedroom each night looked like he didn’t know who his dad was.