#shes such a cool and interesting character

[enigmeyyy-writes]

I definitely think a lot of this is really interesting now that I'm rewatching the show again to write my fanfictions...

Katara definitely had her faults (and it was kinda wrong of her to tell her older brother that he didn't love their mother as much, especially because he most likely had more memories of her alive in comparison), but she was still a 14-year-old girl thrust into adult responsibility in the middle of a war. She is misunderstood a lot of the time from a fan's perspective because (in all honesty) a lot of us watched the show as kids and either thought she was super cool or super annoying. I even only started to find Katara annoying after I was older--and that was mainly because in times when she did attempt to "solve" things or "fix" something she wasn't mature enough yet to understand how to handle it responsibly. Sokka was a lot like this too, and we see him getting blamed a lot less. Both of them were standing in as leaders in their tribe during the war, and both of them left. Sure, the Avatar showed up, but even Aang was running away from responsibility until he realized he had to face the consequences of his actions!

Past this point is a lot of me talking about how I'm addressing a lot of this in my fan works, so check it out if you're interested!

I think a lot of my thoughts on this topic stem from the fact that I want to explore the emotional and responsibility commitments the characters of ATLA have weighing on them. In the AU I'm writing, for example, the characters (set in canon) are aged up and a lot of them have more people they are attached to. Since this was a Katara-centric post, I'll also include what I have in mind for my Katara fic.

Growing Pains centers around the letters Katara sends home to her and Sokka's childhood friend, Mali. He was the oldest of the boys left behind by the tribe because he just didn't quite make the age cut, and now serves as a hunter and protector for the tribe. He was definitely upset when his friends left him, but he knew that if they were to travel with the Avatar he had to stay and protect their tribe. Katara sends her letters detailing the stories of her adventures to Mali but soon realizes that she left a lot behind at home for what was turning out to be a perilous and risk-filled adventure.

And on the Aang side of things (because let's face it, a twelve-year-old boy having childish immaturity and the weight of the world on their shoulders is NOT the best combination), I wanted to explore more of his energy and experience of learning maturity after hardship in a Book 3 and post-war fic titled Spitfire.

Spitfire centers around one of Zuko's childhood friends (an OC because I think he deserved friends he could actually trust prior to joining the Gaang) named Soru coming to terms with the fact that he never truly was against the Avatar even though he's from the Fire Nation. Escapism at its finest--truly. As Aang has to come to terms with the new reality the world is entering after the defeat of Fire Lord Ozai, he has to learn how to deal with the weight of the political aspect of society the rest of his friends (and former enemies for that matter) were already wrapped up in.

All in all, I really think exploring aspects of the characters of such a beloved show that aren't really addressed is such an interesting thing to do. I applaud all other ATLA writers on the platform (and any platform) for either just sticking to canon or coming to terms with the flaws that are either over-exaggerated or under-represented in fanfiction, but I am not one of you! I want to explore the inklings of depth we get from this fun show, especially since I'm approaching this from a perspective in which the characters are older and arguably have more responsibility on their shoulders.

I'd really appreciate it if anyone would check out my stories (will be posted on here and ao3) or at least show interest in them! I've worked really hard to put all the details together behind the scenes, so any support or showing you enjoy my works/ideas is greatly appreciated!

I just watched Avatar for the first time all the way through, and yeah, it’s great, but the one thing that surprised me was how different Katara was compared to the fandom interpretation I’d seen and internalized before watching.

Like, before you watch Avatar, you’ve seen all these memes about Katara and her mom, and based on those memes, you assume it’s one of those lines you have to get used to hearing at least once every episode. But then you watch the show and realize that she only talks about her mom maybe five or six times per season and you also realize she only brings her up when she’s trying to comfort someone or empathize with them because that’s how she processes her grief and that’s one way she connects with people.

Or you hear the infamous line, “then you didn’t love [our mother] the way I did” and you prepare yourself for one of the worst character assassinations ever only to see the scene after nearly three seasons worth of context and realize she was kinda right. She’s been the mother, the nurturer, the comforter. She’s been patient, gentle, and accommodating where everyone else has gotten to be insensible and reckless and childish, and the one moment where she allows herself to feel her grief, suddenly she’s this evil bitch and not, y’know, a 14 year old girl whose been thrusted into adulthood in a way no other character has. A 14 year old girl who should be allowed immaturity and raw emotion and anger instead of the patience and grace she’s been forced to extend to every character without even the smallest amount of gratitude or even consideration in return.

Or you see all of the clips where Katara puts Aang in the “friendzone” and you expect to have this wishy washy back and forth where Aang is putting his feelings out there only to have Katara neither commit nor express any clear reciprocation or rejection. Then you watch and realize that, as cute as the ship is initially, that there’s never a point where Aang returns any comfort or grace to Katara despite her always doing this for him to the point of coddling. That for as much as Aang says he loves her, he never seems to outgrow his perception of her so he can recognize her as someone who feels grief, anger, and pain as much as she expresses love, kindness, and maturity. And instead of having moments where he learns to see her beyond her strength or compassion, you’re instead given moments where Aang forces his feelings onto her, both romantic and non-romantic, and Katara is expected to just…shoulder those feelings the way she shoulders everyone else’s.

Katara is the most misunderstood character in the show. As much as people recognize the complexities of Zuko, Sokka, and Azula, they struggle to do the same for Katara because they see her struggles as somehow lesser, and therefore, less deserving of sympathy. They can handle her so long as she’s being endlessly patient and loving and kind, but the moment her endless love, patience, and kindness runs out, she’s suddenly this annoying bitch who can’t shut up about her mother or reciprocate Aang’s feelings. But Katara’s trauma does matter as much as anyone else’s. No, she wasn’t banished from her kingdom. No, she didn’t lose her entire community, and no, she isn’t the only one who lost her mother. But the difference between her and everyone else whose experienced loss because of the Fire Nation is that she’s never given time to process her trauma. Aang gets to lean on Katara constantly. Toph gets to express her feelings to Katara, and yeah, Sokka also lost their mother, but unlike Katara, he isn’t put in the position of being a substitute for everyone’s parent. He even admits that he sees his sister as a mother. The only characters who ever comfort Katara or allow her to vent is Zuko and her father and that’s, like, three scenes in a show where the other characters are consistently given opportunities to seek out Katara for unconditional support.

The fandom interpretation of Katara has been so bastardized that even those who haven’t watched the show know her for this fanon version and not for who she is. She’s such an interesting character beyond her fandom limitations, though. She’s brave, hot-headed, and hopeful as well as gentle and caring. She wishes to learn waterbending, not only because she wants to fight in the war, but because she wants to continue her culture’s practices because, and people often forget this, she also lost an entire subculture within her already fractured tribe. And she wants to defeat the Fire Nation both because of her deep love and empathy for other people, but also because she wants to avenge her mother. But because some of the fans have reduced Katara to a bitch who constantly whines about her mother and friendzones Aang, you wouldn’t know any of this, and it sucks because she’s the only character whose been dumbed down to such an extent.

[worflesbian]

the worfzia pregnancy plotline is horrendous primarily bc it was tacked on just before jadzia's death in an attempt to make it sadder, equating the worth of a woman's life to her potential to have children, but like even if they hadn't killed her off right after it would still have sucked bc it's so obviously written as the obvious next step after heterosexual marriage and not like, a life-changing decision for two people to make. first of all, worf has already had a child and it went horrendously, his relationship with alexander is rocky and he feels immense guilt about not being there for him in his formative years, and you're telling me him and jadzia had a brief chat about having kids and he was cool with it? once again no one seems to have a looser grasp of worf's storyline than the people who allegedly wrote it. the disparity between his limited experience of parenting and jadzia's several lifetimes worth is also interesting but of course that doesn't come up either. secondly, jadzia's family have almost never been mentioned before, i've seen people theorize that the joining process caused a rift between them as it wouldve been hard to cope with her becoming an almost completely different person - would jadzia's relationship to her own parents not have been pertinent to bring up as she decides to become a parent herself? how does she feel about becoming a mother in this lifetime, now that there's a war on, when presumably all the previous times have been under much stabler circumstances? would anyone bring that up as a concern, what kind of world that child might be born into? how would she react to that? thirdly, julian says that back before she and worf got married he and jadzia discussed this and he told her a trill-klingon pregnancy would be almost impossible, yet she seems determined to make it happen anyway - this is the most in-character part of the whole episode for her imo, because it's very like jadzia to disregard the odds and fight for what she wants, but also, she's literally the science officer, and while biology isn't her number one field it would've at least been interesting for her to bring up her own research on the subject to counter julian's warning.

there's just so much missing from that episode, it feels like a plotline ripped out of some generic soap and pasted onto the characters we know and love, flattening all the things that make them who they are into the vague shape of a random straight couple

[reddthekingg]

why do people say "you are not a real byler if yo don't like el" im sorry who has given them rights to decided who is a byler and who is not? honestly el is an ok character for me, i don't find her personality that interesting aside from her powers, and i don't blame her or anyone, its just the way it is... she's cool but i've never felt connected

anyways people have different preferences and bylers should stop making it their job to claim someone as toxic bylers stop byler policing

liar liar pants on fire I hate anyone who doesn't like my babygirl el /hj

[rafaron1223]

The preview for Volume 15 of Spy x Family is up!

One of the cool things to get out of the way first are these new illustrations, this one with Yor in an amazing dress! Endo cooking as always! The next is an ominous-looking gate for the start page, with a Volume 15 sign and nearby a "Bitter Tea" sign. I also find it interesting that the sign is at the same position as the tea set on the volume cover, either I'm reaching here or it's some nice symbolism or something lol.

Also included is Special Illustration 10!

The Character page with the Forgers is the same as always, but the Key Persons section has changed! Compared to Volume 14, the Authens have been replaced by Melinda, which makes sense considering she appears in the later half of this volume.

And lastly, all that was left of the preview was the entirety Chapter 100. Something that was interesting of note here was that Martha's face got a redraw! Unlike Yor's subtle change back in volume 13, this one here is a bit more visible, with Endo slimming down Martha's face and making it a tad bit longer. Here's the comparison below, starting with the original... 👇

and next is the volume version

Really neat stuff! Anyways, the full volume comes out in a couple days on the 4th, and I'm really looking forward to seeing and sharing it!

[zacolyn]

-Steeples fingers- So personal thing and all that, but I am heavily into the story of my WoL and boy howdy did things happen concerning Garlemald.

So my boy Albert is Ala Mhigan, the same age as Lyse and the beginning of his story is starving with his father in Stonesthrow. He grows up to loathe and despise Garleans to the point he’s exactly the kind of Eorzean the Garlean propaganda talks about. He’s practically the poster boy of ‘they think we’re lesser and will oppress us if we don’t oppress them first’. He wants them extinct as a race (oh except for Lucia and Cid, they’re ‘good’ Garleans, you see. Later this will come to include Gaius with severe side eye and only because of Werlyt).

Anyway, with this rampant hatred of most Garleans, the Scions see a bit of a….troubling side of him during Stormblood, in which he is not the sweet, understanding and overall caring WoL they thought he was. Instead they witness an openly bloodthirsty man who delights in the suffering of any Garlean in his sights and he has no kindness for Fordola either. She is a traitor and in his eyes deserves to be tortured for it (yes, even after the Echo shows him her memories).

Shadowbringers was sure something with Emet-Selch, the cause of all his suffering. He eventually sort of forgave him but in a ‘cool motive still murder, and I’ll remember you and your people, but you will not be honored for causing the death of mine’ kind of way.

Anyway, now we get into Endwalker and here I had to actually had to have him possessed by Ardbert for literally up until sometime after we leave Garlemald for a while because if the Scions had thought he was out for blood in Stormblood, at least those were trained soldiers. As much as it had frustrated me when those girls died because the propaganda machine had convinced them Eorzeans were evil, they’d never have had the chance to run from my WoL. Albert would have somehow ensured the twins were away, and he would have killed every single one of those people.

So instead the Garleans get Ardbert. There’s a good plot reason this happens that I won’t get into, but Ardbert can feel and is aware of Albert’s blind and irrational level hatred and he does his best to soothe it. (Albert’s wife also tries to help because she grew up with Albert and knows how bad he is about this, but mostly it’s Ardbert because they’re brain buddies).

All of this to say; it actually made me kind of sick to my stomach to know what my muse would do to these people. It’s in character for him, but he is utterly blind to his hypocrisy and it made that part of Endwalker look interesting to me as well as the evolution of his character thanks to Ardbert.

WRT the Garlemald portion of EW: I'm sure that for a lot of FFXIV's history players have been wondering what it would be like to reach Garlemald proper in-game, and daydreaming of epic battles, maybe a sense of "conquering the conquerers"

And it is so, so genius of EW to not give you that.

You don't get any glory or revenge in defeating the evil empire, they already self-destructed on their own. You can't really revel in it. If you're feeling particularly vindictive you might look at the rubble and silently think "Serves you right!" or "Good riddance to bad rubbish." but no matter how much you may have hated the Empire in the past it's hard not to pity what's left.

See, the thing about Garlemald is that in their prejudice and conquest they treated everyone who isn't them as subhuman. But in the end you are all human beings, and so are they. The Empire isn't a nameless, faceless evil, it's a war machine created by the beliefs of humans who saw other humans as inhuman. By helping the survivors you are not only doing the right thing, the human thing to do, you are also disproving their prejudice in the process by reminding them that you're all human. (I'm using the word "human" in abstract sense here, not to refer just to the Hyuran race of FFXIV, but all the races of sentient beings, all deserving of rights, respect, etc.)

I'm trying to shine a light on the significance of this part of the story because it seems like some people have conflicted feelings about helping citizens of a facist former empire, but it would be sheer Reading Comprehension Stat: None to assume that that means FFXIV is condoning their ideology. In fact, it would be antithetical to FFXIV's optimistic, pro-humanity, love-and-peace, a-better-world-is-possible -type philosophy if we instead left the survivors to starve.

[toyanova]

no hate to anyone who thinks this because i understand that sometimes people just don’t Get a ship and that’s cool, but i think it’s a shame when i see someone say people only like lottienat because both characters are hot. like there wouldn’t be anything wrong with liking a ship for that reason alone because we’re all here to have fun, obviously

but i just think it’s a shame that all of the tension and subtext in the adult timeline was there for milf lottienat (and their daughter lisa) and then it was ignored how that could have implications for their specific dynamic in the teen timeline too.

like nat even saw lottie when she died. lottie, plus everything she represented, was a cornerstone for nat’s life and her ‘purpose’. and the believer and non-believer situation, paired with how they both have always had a certain level of emotionality/softness to them in contrast with the other girls, makes their connection really fascinating. because they have the ability to understand each other while also remaining on opposing sides in a sense. they both challenge each other in the society they created. lottie wants to push past nat’s refusal of it in order to make her feel included and cared for

both trying to give her ‘blessings’ (😭) in the teen timeline and when she saves her life in the adult timeline. both of these things are simultaneously well meaning and completely fucked up. the whole thing lottie is doing with the wilderness and her blood is messed up and to some level she should be held accountable (her behavior has been leading to people being hurt, whether it was directly intended or not. the shrooms night was pretty bad though), which nat does. and then she stalks and kidnaps nat in the adult tl, which is fucked up, but she also does save her life. and this kind of sums up their connection and it’s just interesting because all of the girls have done horrible things with a mixture of good and bad ‘intentions’… but despite nat hating the cult and everything that came of it, she also understood to some extent how it worked and why it had to work. this is also why she’s able to still have a functioning, to some degree, relationship to shauna despite their power play conflict. nat is extremely multi-faceted and able of having a lot of empathy, which i think someone like lottie craves, while also holding people accountable for their bullshit at times

there’s so much here to be loved and the chemistry they had as adults was insane. so i just wish it wasn’t so popular to dismiss the ship as them just being hot

[venussaidso]

Vedic Astrology Observation (based on shows/films part 8)

King Arthur is deeply in love with Guinevere, his queen, and they're a possible Ashwini-Mula pair in Merlin (2008-2012).

Also, this means the main cast of BBC's Merlin are possibly all Ketu nakshatra natives. Very interesting.

KING & QUEEN OF CAMELOT.

Guinevere has also been played by Ketu natives, Vanessa Redgrave & Lena Headey.

In 1994's TV movie Guinevere, she is played by Ashwini native Sheryl Lee.

In the same movie, King Arthur is portrayed by Ashwini Moon Sean Patrick Flanery.

In 1953's Knights of the Round Table, King Arthur and Guinevere are played by the Ketu natives, Mel Ferrer & Ava Gardner.

In the same film, Lancelot, who is played by Robert Taylor, falls in love with the married Guinevere. They have their famous affair.

As I'm looking into the actresses who've played Guinevere, I am noticing Pushya nakshatra frequently popping up. Pushya trines Uttarabhadrapada nakshatra, which is a nakshatra associated with marrying ‘up’ (along with the Ketu nakshatras for example, Jeff Bezos' current partner is Mula native and his ex wife is an Ashwini native — and Donald Trump had been mostly married to Ketu women etc., which can explain Guinevere's partial Ketu influence).

Ava Gardner also had Pushya ASC.

Camille Lou is another Pushya ASC native who played the character in La Legende Du Roi Arthur.

Pushya Moon Cherie Lunghi played Guinevere in 1981's Excalibur.

In 2004's King Arthur, Uttarabhadrapada Sun native Keira Knightley is Guinevere.

In the cancelled series The Winter King, Pushya Sun Jordan Alexandra played her.

In STARZ's cancelled series Camelot, Anuradha Sun & ASC native Tamsin Egerton was Guinevere.

Guinevere is often depicted as a beautiful, noble queen who is married to King Arthur. She is portrayed, sometimes, as headstrong and independent — which makes sense of her Saturnian portrayals. Her betrayal of her husband (from her affair with Lancelot) ultimately leads to the downfall of Camelot, which also explains her Ketuvian portrayals as well. Though, Morgana is the ultimate bringer of chaos to Camelot, and she is frequently played by Ketu nakshatra natives.

Magha Moon Helena Bonham Carter as Morgana in 1998's Merlin.

But typical of the Saturn-Ketu enmity, Morgana is often portrayed as jealous towards Guinevere, mostly when it comes to her position as Queen and her relationship with Arthur. Due to her desire for power, she's always plotting against Guinevere and King Arthur. And typical of this planetary friction, Guinevere represents the ideal, perfect queen while Morgana represents a chaotic, tyrannical queen.

It reminds me of the Saturn-Ketu enmity in the kdrama It's Okay to Not Be Okay, in which the Ketuvian is depicted as the villainized woman, once again, and the Saturnian is portrayed as the perfect ideal woman. Nam Joo-ri is played by Pushya Sun native Park Gyu-young, while Ko Moon-young is played by Magha Moon native Seo Yea-ji.

The Saturnian is typically headstrong and cool-mannered, while the Ketuvian operates in impulsive ways. It's funny, because they are ultimately similar. Both have taming and restricting abilities, both are materially draining but the one with Ketu influence is just more villainized for it.

Speaking of, Aşk-ı Memnu has a mother-daughter relationship which depicts this enmity once again between Saturn and Ketu. The differences and similarities show so perfectly in their rivalry for wealth & admiration.

Even though Bihter (Mula native) denies being anything like her mother, in the end, they are one in the same.

[toxicyuriknifeplay]

I'm really excited to see shaunahat interactions I wonder what Melissa's motivations are ik she has a crush on her but I also think she sees shauna as a force to be reckoned with and wants to solidify her position in the group. Shauna needs attention from someone despite being scary and important both to the story and to the group her character is always in the shadow of other people, when she loves someone she always ends up resenting them in some way, I wonder if that'll be the same for melissa. It'd be really cool if it was just a gay relationship without complications, but lol, it's yellowjackets, so I can't really be sure either way. I'm really interested to see more from them

[one-half-guy]

Thank you for the tag ^-^

Let's see...

1- & 2- Silver & Blaze (Who's which varies a lot, but it's always these two who are on the top)

3- Tails (Fox Boy got the bronze medal, in earlier times he would be THE Favorite... And I still love him a lot, so I'm never letting him out of the podium)

4- Knuckles (My beloved tough guy, guardian of a wonderful island and can climb and glide to explore the level, he rocks)

5- Sonic (A really gold hearted soul, a true inspiration)

6- Cream (She's cute, she's adorable and she's polite and she's so OP EU QUERIA BOTAR ELA NO MEU CAFÉ)

7- Dr. Eggman (This bro moves the stories forwards, amazingly cruel as well as amazingly captivating)

8- Espio (I saw him the first time ever and was love at first sight, he's a ninja chameleon! He's so cool but also so silly)

9- Shadow (Our edgyhog with a turbulent past... But more important... He protec)

10- Infinite (Great aesthetics, great music and my goodness what a pathetic wet overpowered jerk 🥰)

Now a list with spin-off characters, because I can't leave them out, I really love them, but I was unable to decide a placement in a joint list since I would have to leave more out 🥺 (Under the cut because that got really long)

1- Gold the Tenrec (She's soooo cute, has a neat design, intriguing powers and got a very interesting backstory)

2- Clove the Pronghorn (A person who joined Eggman out of despair and now regrets it bitterly? Tell me more!!)

3- Cassia the Pronghorn (A poor deluded kid... Trusting blindly on her sis... Unaware of the complexity of their sotuation)

4- Eclipse the Darkling (Shadow's brother, dude. É o irmão do Shadow, cara, O IRMÃO DO SHEDOU!!)

5- Nicole the Hololynx (How can a computer be so cute? Protect her at all costs!!)

6- Shard the Metal Sonic (A reformed Metal Sonic, that was cool, specially his dynamic with Silver)

7- Tangle the Lemur (Love the energy she had in her introduction)

8- Bunnie Rabbot (A cyborg rabbit, she slays)

9- Cosmo (A cute flower girl, made me cry with her sacrifice)

10- Whisper the Wolf (She uses five wisps and I love the pun in this fact also I love that her weapon looks like an umbrella merged with a rifle)

Now I think it's time to tag hmm... @wonderinc-sonic @disabled-battlekukku @sahsahhh @mitsandnits eu venho aqui humildemente aperrear vocês, if you feel comfortable in participate

Alright everypony, here's my top 10 favorite Sonic characters

Shadow

Rouge

Amy

Silver

Metal Sonic

Sonic

Eggman

Wave

Blaze

Knuckles

[atypical-artisan]

A MEGA REVIEW OF EGG

This is my mega review of all the current chapters of @tonitheloftwing's 'Egg' as a (Late) birthday gift for him! Also including a mock up of a fic cover image for him too!

Review will be by chapter and include my initial thoughts and re-read thoughts separated by a line.

~

If you're to lazy to read the in-depth review:

Egg is good. It's very realistic and balances it's darker themes with wonderful warmth and charm. The character chemistry is excellent and the main focus, Bianca, is such a sweet woman trying her best. Give Mac ur love and go read it on AO3!!!

Chapter 1:

Initial thoughts: Good setup! Warm, inviting, it really feels like a mother’s love when reading. A little surprised by the ‘house on fire’ metaphor near the end but it’s a small bump. It’s a pleasantly short into that introduces us to Bianca's warmth well and starts the story off on a high note.

~

As said in the first read through/review: This chapter exudes a warm atmosphere. It’s clear that Bianca is a loving mother, putting Mac before herself always, doing everything she could to make him happy, paying attention to his interests, playing with him without being cruel, letting him go off on his own without being clingy, etc. It’s a good start for the whole premise of the fic!! It tells a lot about her character in this stage of her life and is a good contrast w later scenes. On the surface it may seem a little slow but upon reread it’s really excellent in how it references aspects of future stories and sets up her character. So bravo work!!

~

Chapter 2:

Initial thoughts: Genuinely pretty funny Chapter! It still retains the “warm memory’ aspect of the previous chapters while adding airs of sweetness and humor with Mac’s finding of a cat. It feels pretty realistic for a young child! On top of that the introduction of Mac’s biological father is interesting, especially with how him and Bianca almost immediately fight, distracting them both from Mac to a dangerous degree, and how he comes late to clocking out of work. His approach to parenting feels distant and lax, while Bianca is realistic and trying to keep Mac in order.

~

This chapter is greater than I remember. I really appreciate that u chose to keep Mac as Mac for the most part cause it’s a hell of a lot easier to read like this. Mac's attachment to his dad at this time is really clear but it’s also painfully clear how little his dad cares for Mac and Bianca's time and how little he regards the safety of Mac. While Bea is stretching herself thin w him, worried sick and terrified when their two year old runs off. Mac's dad just laughs, takes a photo let’s the baby keep the damn thing without regard for the landlord. He wouldn’t survive a day parenting alone. And it’s clear to me Mac likes him so much cause he spoils him in a way and teaches him bad behavior. A darkness within but still keeping warmth.

~

Chapter 3:

Initial thoughts: Interesting chapter! A lot darker and colder than the last two from the get-go it’s really great! It’s a bit of a sudden shift but the aspect of dealing with the emotions feels really well done and well paced. It’s clear both Mac and Bianca are seriously struggling but trying to get by and it feels pretty realistic. There are some moments, like the one in the car where Mac is explaining his emotions- that feels older than what a 5 year old should be capable of expressing and took me out of the story a bit but it’s still really well written. Maybe if that one aspect was cut up into a smaller monologue it would have worked better for me. The broken glass was a really hard hit and the little hints you give to Mac's autism are really cool!! I also like the element of strict gendering kids do here its a nice setup to future trans aspects of the story. Overall a good, darker chapter!

~

Though upon reread this chapter is less jarring, it’s still heavy hitting and a hard shift in tone from previous chapters. Some of Mac’s words feel really adult here but, Bea implying he’s mimicking his father makes it make more sense. The part where Bea is broken up about the wine glass is really powerful- even if someone hurt us we can still miss them and want to preserve our happy memories of them and it can be horrible if we can’t. Honestly this scene suck to me so much that I got an inkling of autism in Bea from it. Egg is a menace- breaking Bea's heart like that even tho he gets wet food. Plus painful chapter title damn. And Mac parroting how he’s been raised by her is a sweet touch, it feels realistic.

~

Chapter 4:

Initial thoughts: Interesting choice to make his deadname something ppl frequently hc as his name! Oooh very dark aspect of her suspecting Mac’s autism symptoms are from learning abusive behaviors form his dad. Hmm and Bianca being resistant to therapy and the idea he’s autistic? No bueno. Also Interesting is her pushing herself so hard when she does have extra support. She’s like a lot of parents- without a life outside of her kid. Kim seems like a good friend and Bianca is really resistant from moving away from Mac or focusing on other ppl outside of the small circle. OH DAMN YIKES ON MAC THO. Poor boy having such a bad breakdown over everything. Really interesting how his dysphoria is manifesting. On the surface it seems like he might be anxious about the sexism of other kids but we as readers know there’s something more going on. Good chapter! Less dark than the previous but not as warm! It’s a good blend of darkness and light!

~

Rereading this chapter hit hard tbh. Mac's anger and gender distress at the end was just as hard to read as the first time and Bea's attempts to hide her financial troubles, brush off her friends suggestions, and overall clinging to mac are still really clear aspects of her personality. Mac and Bianca's writing feel really realistic to p much everything mentioned here. Like u mentioned the first time, I like how the gender thing could’ve been interpreted as anxious girl afraid of bullies because ppl dislike how they're not femme enough or are just sexist in that time and not something like Mac is trans. Seeing Bianca be hesitant to admit that something is different abt him is also cool as is her hesitance to seek ppl outside of her kid.

~

Chapter 5:

Initial thoughts: Really interesting how tense Bianca is about everything. That really seems to be a staple of her personality when Mac is young compared to when he was a baby and when he’s older. And ooh yay Doc!! I can already see Bianca is noticing a lot about him! Him and Bianca have a smooth chemistry already, warm and inviting! Doc is really charming and his banter with Bianca is really natural!! And LOL even in the middle of a dream scenario Bianca is still nervous af abt mac. Ngl the whole kids convo feels a little rushed for a first meeting BUT it actually works p well considering Bianca's entire personality here. And hey once again Doc being Prince charming! There really is a warmth brought back in this chapter from the previous two, it’s a nice change of pace and the ramp form anxiety to warmth is nice. LOL I also love the pen hunting thing you got- very cute. Ngl I really love Doc's enthusiasm here, it’s so sweet and good to read for Bianca. And DAMN Bianca, back at it again with the anxiety. I love how she affirms herself tho, really great. Still just delicious banter between her and doc. Even when they get on edge it’s not bad and it’s still so smooth! "Her name sounded so beautiful on his lips” <- YUM LINE.

~

Another great chapter to reread. It does a great job at really stretching Bea's character out to be on full display. She’s incredibly high strung, focused on Mac, yet when Doc comes into the picture a more forward and flirty side comes out of her. And Doc is incredibly sweet and pleasant- a prince charming for real. It makes sense for both of them to be a little shy and awkward but the date is really smooth and it feels really good to read. I’m surprised by how long Bea and Frank were together from at least 20 to 35 holy shit. No wonder she’s so wrecked about him it was at least 15 years- her entire young adult life- down the drain. Doc and her getting together at the end feels rewarding and it’s nice to see Bea come out of her shell to chill.

~

Chapter 6/Stiff Peaks:

Initial thoughts: DAMN already we got a “fuck me please”- really hot stuff. Holy crap I regret not reading this earlier. Not only does it keep up such great banter and warmth between them but it feels so real and sexy! And Doc's insistence on clear consent is so cute too. And God Bianca at the end of her rope is so funny. You really do know how to make sex so fun! The pet names are such a nice touch and both Doc and Bianca feel so mature and real here. And Jesus dude your descriptions are absolutely delicious. Just so sweet and charming and good. And even the little break between just amazing!! I REALLY regret not reading this earlier! God just hot hot hot. Amazing everywhere. there were like 2 lines formatted a little wrong but I barely noticed lmao.

~

This chapter is incredibly sexy and I love it. It masters one thing that a lot of smut fics, and really horny fiction, easily fails at and that’s the art of desire. Bea and Doc really really desire each other and you can read it in every line. It holds the whole piece together so well. That on top of their already good chemistry and easy banter makes the porn feel very natural and mature yet still vulnerable and real. That is a real skill to have in terms of writing smut. And I really love how you weren’t scared to make it awkward in a few places, you weren’t scared to have them tease each other. It feels so great that even when you did describe a lot of action it felt incredibly sexy and still in the mood. I definitely appreciate how patient Doc is during it all.

~

Chapter 7:

Initial thoughts: GOD ok, dude how do you write Doc as such a prince charming? He’s so attentive and sweet and open, Ugh he’s perfect. Esp his eagerness to look after Mac is just so cuteeeee. And God poor Mac still being broken up abt his dad n Doc promising to be better- he’s just the best! A marshmallow fluff ass relationship. Okay Mac being observant enough to sense a boyfriend is CUTE and so is the following stuff with Bianca reassuring him and getting ready. Doc is cute af again being so sweet. Doc is so good with little Mac augh!!!! Mac is such an excited little darling- I love how Doc keeps engaging him sm. Mac returns to being well written as a child! He feels so much like a 6 year old it’s cute af. And again the mood is warm and charming! I really love Mac's attachment to doc- it’s a bit quick, but makes sense with the story you’re telling. Love how willing and open Doc is, always trying to be on Mac's level! His earnestness about wanting to make Bianca happy is just fantastic. And the last few paragraphs of Bianca observing the two of them is so good, esp that last line “I want him to be with me as long as hell have me” is so GREAT

~

Another reread chapter with a ton of warmth. They all feel real and in their correct ages. Doc really has his prince charming thing going at full power like damn he’s so charming Mac immediately wanted him to be his new dad. I was expecting Mac to hate him at first but i like that he doesn’t and can tell not only how great Doc is but can be read to think of him as a way to fill the void his bio dad left. Bea is the patron saint of eternally tired mother’s, this woman is absolutely run ragged and she definitely needs the help, it’s honestly cute how Mac doesn’t understand but also sad. And Doc being so emotionally open and vulnerable with Bea and with Mac, it’s wonderful to see. Last line blew me off my feet obviously.

~

Chapter 8:

Initial thoughts: Aight, good on doc for helping the ever anxious Bianca!! And yay mac starts boxing!! RAHH DOC AND BIANCA BEING A MUSHY GUSHY COUPLE!! LOL the Yankees joke dhfbfjdj. Ur really funny lmao. I love the little convo Doc and Bianca have about Mac growing up, us so sweet and charming how much Doc loves her and wants to be in their lives. And damn Doc being anxious? LOVE. It’s so sweet how Bianca wants to help him too augh!!! And their banter is as smooth and fun as ever- you’re so great at writing good chemistry! And OOOF Doc being such a sweet, caring, attentive partner scared he’s gonna fuck things up? Goddamn, love it tho!!! Banter and convos are a+++++ you’re so good at them dude. I really like how Docs relationship w Bull has affected his mental state a lot!! It feels realistic, as does the dialog! It feels a bit like they’ve been to therapy but not enough to be super distracting, it also feels very mature! Also the “bald bull mention” with the emoji fucking SENT ME.

~

I really love how this chapter mirrors the last one in terms of story- chapter 7 involves Bea's fear of sharing what’s troubling her in a current problem and finding a reassurance w Doc and now Doc is getting reassurance from her for a past problem. It’s really nice to hear a bit of Bea's backstory here, the story about the bats was charming! Doc's moments of vulnerability are really great here too and his anxieties here make a ton of sense considering who he was dating. Bea being able to be the prince charming for Doc is really great! It’s brings a nice balance in their relationship that i was starting to feel lacking in the previous chapters. And, omg, the last paragraphs are so cute- them discussing their future together just ❤️

~

Chapter 9:

Initial thoughts: UH OH BIANCA'S SICK. My instant thought was pregnart but I know that’s not gonna be it lol. I find the perspective shift and interesting choice! Is it pulling from Doc's memories now? Oh hey Mac's in therapy! That’s really great! Oh no! My heart is fucking broken dear god! At least Doc is fantastic at comforting poor Mac oml. You’re really good at writing angst too. The whole bit about Mac feeling responsible for his dad leaving him and Bianca is so sad yet so real and sweet AUGH. Doc really is best dad fr. Its so nice to see him be so open and straightforward w his affection. Also Mac asking Doc to marry his mom LMAO. Little surprised almost 2 years have passed already tbh. But I’m happy it’s not making big time jumps either! It feels a bit like a slow burn and it’s nice!

~

This is such a sweet chapter tbh. I love how Mac feels really safe to be vulnerable here and Doc focuses so much on loving Mac and showing him a safe person rather than giving to his base emotions. It’s so damn mature!! Mac is still incredibly well written and has great chemistry as he does with Bea. Mac's worries are so heavy and it’s great to hear he’s been to therapy for it, it’s even greater to see Doc handle it with grace and reassure Mac that he’s a safe person. Now Bea being sick… well on my first read i didn’t expect it to go where it did but it’s a very obvious tell lmfao. I was unsure of the pov switch at first but now I’m really into it. It gives us a great opportunity to see Mac and Doc alone! I’m curious if we’re ever gonna see Mac's pov.

~

Chapter 10:

Initial thoughts: Oooh alright, very intriguing intro here! Considering pregnart is a very scary thing! Poor Bianca!!! She’s already very anxious she does NOT need this too. Kim is such a good friend- poor Bianca breaking down and her being a saint. OH DAMN SHE REALLY ARE PREGNART HUH. And DAMN you did a good job on Doc's reaction- charming and great as ever!! Augh Mac's stupid bio dad- I hope he explodes. Once more ADORING the banter between Bianca and Doc it’s just so good!! They’re so in love it makes my heart ache. And GOD THE LAST LINE. How are you so great at ending chapters? All this good stuff has me TERRIFIED for the future my God. Mac doesn’t have a siblings so… what’s gonna happen good lord it’s a scary thought. Excited for the dread tho!!

~

WHOO BOY BIG CHAPTER. First off, I really like the pregnancy reveal and how anxious it makes Bea- she SHOULD be anxious cause this is a very rare scenario!! But even more I love how we know that he relationship w Frank and fear of him makes her scared if a lot of things, even though doc is so nice to her. It’s very realistic!! Doc's reaction is so damn sweet, nothing could be more perfect. Kim is an angel of a friend as well and it’s really great to see Bea have so much support. Mac being a little unbearable and Bea holding back her frustration is honestly cool to see!! What’s also cool is the hint that “Bea thought mac was a boy”- v clever. Now… as happy as I am for the new parents… I’m deeply worried. Bro u keep hinting that they’re gonna break up and this younger siblings WASN'T in the potluck (no comment in your own words) and frankly this has had me SO STRESSED. Bea hinting that her pregnancy was traumatic is not looking good. It’s genuinely had me worried! I’ve been thinking abt it non stop since I first finished the fic!! Do NOT break my heart bro.

(Editing Charlie: I read the tags, ik u will and forgive u)

~

Overall thoughts:

Egg is a really great story so far and the character chemistry and development is interesting af. I'm SO excited to see where it all goes and can't wait for the next update. Pls read it.

[glitter-stained]

Stephcass as some of my platonic relationships' most intense moments :

Cass: what are you doing?

Steph: oh, writing a play!

Cass: cool what's it about?

Steph : it's a tragedy about lesbians being burned at the pyre. The main character is kind of a self-insert. I mean, not that it means anything, lol, I'm straight.

Cass: oh.

Steph: also don't take this the wrong way but can I say something weird?

Cass: uh, sure.

Steph: I feel like since I've met you, the lesbian love interest has started resembling you more and more -she's mostly based on you, now. Not that that means anything.

****

Steph: You couldn't dom me if you tried.

Cass: the fuck I couldn't?

Steph: No you couldn't!

Cass: The only reason I'm not domming you because I don't want to!

Steph : You couldn't even if you wanted to!

Cass: I so could!

Steph: oh yeah? Prove it.

Cass: You don't even want me to!

Steph: But you couldn't. If I did want you to.

****

Steph : It's like... You know, I'm never really this tactile... It's hard for me, even with friends, to touch or hug them... You're different, though. I don't know why, what's different about you, but the way it feels hugging you... It just feels right with you.

Cass: You smell nice. Do you wear perfume?

Steph: oh? No, it's probably just my shampoo.

Cass: Your hair smells really nice.

****

Cass: Yeah, so I went to that lesbian bar and it was such a disappointment... I was hoping to get fucked in the bathroom so bad!

Steph: and you didn't invite me??

Cass: I didn't expect you to want to be there!

Steph: of course I did!

****

Cass: I think you're my soulmate... I never met someone who completed me so deeply before.

Steph: like, romantically?

Cass: It's more like, you're a star, and I'm the moon. We should get matching profile pictures.

Steph: whenever I look at the moon I think of you.

Cass: I was going to name a plant after you, but I thought if I gave it your name it would break my heart when you died, so I named it after a goddess that made me think of you.

****

Steph: I wish we had broken up.

Cass: We would make such good exes.

Steph: We would be so bitter about it!

Cass: so toxic...

****

Cass: your eyes are so beautiful... Did you ever notice they change colours with the light?

Steph: you... um, you've already told me that.

Cass: I know. I just really like looking at them.

*****

Cass: You think if we were fictional characters people would ship us?

Steph: oh my god definitely. The ultimate otp.

Cass: people would cancel us for queerbaiting.

Steph : you know what would be really funny? If we wrote a show with our self-inserts having the same relationship as us.

Cass: both canonically sapphic.

Steph: one of them dies tragically and the other just loses it. Tries to summon her back to life.

Cass: goes on a killing spree.

Steph: friends to lovers except they never kiss. They have a child together.

Cass: you get it.

Steph: Even I am starting to ship them.

****

Timsteph!era steph gets an eyelash stuck on her cheek: *looking deep into cass's eyes*

Cass: make a wish

Steph: *closes her eyes and guesses wrong*

Cass, gently wiping the eyelash off her cheek with her thumb: what did you wish for?

Steph: that I were dating you instead of Tim

Cass: *looking away so steph doesn't see the tears brimming in her eyes*

****

Steph, playing with her hair: hey so I really like you and would love to know you better. Would you like to grab coffee sometimes, as a date?

Cass: oh, of course, I'd love that!

[xylatox]

with wings of wax and thread | hik

Another fic from Cam and a Kai fic no less, this interests me so much, unto the review!!

Before I even start, I've always been obsessed with angel and demon themes and the fact that Kai is mode or less fallen makes me more obsessed.

Feathers, soft and white, twisted in the golden glow from the slow-setting sun. Raining down like a thrown stone, sinking and littering the waiting ground. — god the beginning is so enrapturing.

His mouth had filled with blood, the ichor more sugar than iron, his stomach turning from the flavor, or maybe it was the feeling of falling. Flying had been something like this, the air rippling in his hair, every strand kissed with the soft hands of the north wind, a mother's touch. Flying had felt so close to life that even in falling he understood what it meant to have all your memories rush in front of you one last time. Because falling was like the memory of flying, the echo of it so close it was like a shout right in his ear. — this description is absolutely insane what the fuck.

They had come, found your hiding spot, and planned to finish you off, that laugh was only the start. It had not yet turned cruel as it was that day, the parroting of the group still ingrained right behind your ears, following you around no matter how you tried to shake the thoughts. And now they were coming down like a meteor into the only safe space you had ever known. The entrance was hard to maneuver with wings; it only made sense they would have a rough time with landing except there was a giant splash, the water in the moonpool lapping up, the crashing sound like the waves hitting the rocks only now echoing in the carved out cave. — I love this. I am absolutely geeking out over every word so far. It's all phrased so wonderfully. I'm also super interested in reader, she's so intruding. I also love that contrary to typical demon behavior, reader chooses to save Kai, that further makes her such an interesting character.

When they had ripped your wings off you had nothing left to attach, not that you haven't tried, but alone with no help there was no way to reattach wings with your hands. No way to reach behind yourself except to feel the spots they had once been, the jagged scars still there now, the ghost pain of that day still shooting down your back every time you dreamt of that day. — the fact that reader is on her own, it hurts to even think of what she went through.

You had not grown the horns that most of the demons possessed, you could feel the spot they must have wanted to sprout through if they had been given the chance, the area always colder than the rest of your scalp. It had been one of the things they had picked at when taking their dues. — it's so cool that reader is technically demon by birth(?) but lacks all the physical attributes to deem her one, it's makes her even cooler.

Reader's personality!! I love it, I love that there's already thus barrier between them as a result of it.

They had told him never to bite the hand that fed him but this was a forceful hand coming out to get him, twisting its fingers in his hair and pushing his face in the dirt until it was nothing but a given that he had to eat whatever it was that was handed to him. But he listened, taking in each word and trying to keep them as close as he could get them. — Cam...you have such a way with words.

I love that despite the hesitance from reader when they first interacted, it's really sweet now like —“That would be horrible and if you don't listen to me they will be gone, keep your hand away,” you left no room for argument in your tone and Kai listened. He curled his hand into a fist and sat it in his lap. “Today we will let the area breathe and while I’m out we can get whatever we need to make a salve to help the healing process,” Kai nodded knowing that you were right. He didn't even have the first thought of where to start to find out how to help himself. — her caring is super cute.

Also I just wanna say, candle wax is an interesting method to stick the feathers back??? like I wouldn't have thought about it.

He pictured you over and over again in his head. Imagined you with your wings of night in the air next to him, that laugh you had turned his way unlike the one he heard but one he wished you would give him so that he would know something in his dream would be real. This laugh was somewhere caught between a giggle and a sprinkle of light from his fingertips. He locked in on thinking of the laugh over the feeling of flying because it was impossible to not hurt when thinking of the air. But you, thinking of you, felt safe even if it was some kind of hope caught in a dream.  — im going to sob, how could something be so sweet yet so sad.

Kai could not feel the process, not when he was lost in his thoughts. He tried to separate the knowledge of you being a demon away from the proof he had of you being nothing more than someone who was lost. The two could be synonymous is what he reminds himself over again. — :((((

Also the way reader fights over her natural feelings as a demon?? my heart breaks. —But waking up to know he had been here the whole time, knowing that if he had been there he would have helped just the same, settled something inside you that had been overrun with worry. You unfurled your arms from around yourself, throwing them around Kai’s neck and pulling him into a hug. — poor baby.

You whimpered when he brushed over the scars on your back but did not pull away, letting him have a part of you that you would never give to anyone else because he knew what it was like, he knew what it meant, this level of trust rushing into you almost as fast as your coming orgasm. —HELLLLLLIIIIIOOOO??? This was actually so attractive good bye, like the trust, the intimacy behind this???

And then the feathers started to rain. A few white tumbled down along with you as you looked up at him, wax melting from being so close to the sun for only a short time. The edge of his right wing was still tipped in black as if your feathers had infected his mind and thoughts as if they had been the cause of the drop and not the sickening worry he had of losing everything that had just been returned to him. But you could not stop yourself from thinking again of the story you had been told as a child. That demons had been the same as angels, cast out for the bitterness lingering in their near-empty hearts. You two were the same, cast out, and only now did he truly see it. — oh my god. From Kai letting her go to this...it's insane. It reminds me of Icarus :(

If falling felt like flying you would welcome the feeling because anything was better than nothing at all. — oh my god.

I'm so glad I finally got to take my time and read this.

Cam, your writing is beautiful, the way you've described things has left me beyond words. I absolutely love the end where they were both able to relive falling but their emotions were so different at the time. I just love that they're the same ah, this was so amazing♡

with wings of wax and thread

angel!huening kai x demon!fem!reader

‧₊˚ ⋅ synopsis: In the kingdom of Aethera, an angel is pushed from the heavens. Wings torn and feathers spilling, he finds himself in the den of a demon who wishes to have never been found. Long having lived with your own fall from grace, wingless and bloody just as he is now, you help stitch back up what once was. Can nurtured understanding be crueler than nature? ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝ warnings: 🔞!!!demon fem!reader, angel!huening kai, angst, blood, depression, mentions of death and gore, reader talks about being violently attacked, cpr performed, slight open ending that could lead to mc/member death if interpreted that way, unprotected sex, no pull out mention, prob forgot some sorry

⊹₊ ݁ . wc: 19.6k . ݁₊ ⊹

𓅪 ⸝⸝⸝ now playing: I, carrion (icarian) - hozier an: im so in love with this event, the work that all these amzing writers put into this is so astonishing- it’s so wild to participate in something like this when I still feel like a baby writer with so much to learn but thats always the fun bit I guess lol im so happy we could all stretch our creative abilities to come together and make this work <333 thank you for reading!!

[m.list] [aethera!event m.list]

ONCE UPON A TIME… In a land far far away, where the treetops touched the soft clouds of the sky, and the water sparkled under the glowing sun. Where mountains rose high and in which long, deep caves ran. Where the sea met shore in a collision of tall waves. Where the undead walked among the living. Where the winged flew above the finned. In a land where things beyond any reason and rhyme existed. And amongst those very beings, within the veils of Aethera, there was… 

Feathers, soft and white, twisted in the golden glow from the slow-setting sun. Raining down like a thrown stone, sinking and littering the waiting ground. 

The fall from grace had been sickly sweet. The shock of that first second of flightlessness was frightening enough to cause Kai to sink his teeth into his tongue. Holding back the staggered scream he wanted to let out, still protecting the ones who wronged him. Who had sent a blistering pain down his back, the cracking of cartilage ringing in his ears as he screwed his mouth shut, pleading with glistening eyes, forgiving them the second that his foot had met nothing but air. 

His mouth had filled with blood, the ichor more sugar than iron, his stomach turning from the flavor, or maybe it was the feeling of falling. Flying had been something like this, the air rippling in his hair, every strand kissed with the soft hands of the north wind, a mother's touch. Flying had felt so close to life that even in falling he understood what it meant to have all your memories rush in front of you one last time. Because falling was like the memory of flying, the echo of it so close it was like a shout right in his ear. 

And he laughed, the sound a strangled choke, fighting its way out from between his lips, teeth stained and heart sinking. He had never felt heavy, not when lifting off the ground was second nature. Kai had imagined his bones had been hollow like a bird's, but plummeting only showed him how led he was lined. Heavy, too much for even the mother's air to carry him, slipping through fingers, through feathers. 

He didn't think that having a wing ripped right from his back would have made so many of his feathers come free, whirling around him, in a thick plume. Maybe it was his wing's way of bleeding. He had witnessed the damaged appendages before on others and they never bled, not unless wounded at the base, right at the shoulder blade. But even his feathers now were dotted with thick spots of blood, the droplets rising instead of falling with him, lighter than his lead bones. He reached out, trying to catch any feathers he could, trying to grasp them as if they would be the edge of a cliff he could pull himself back up from. But he came away with nothing but understanding. 

This was a brutal way to make a grave but it was the hand he had been dealt, the cards pushed into his waiting palms without question. He only hoped the ground wouldn’t damage his wings worse than they already were. Half hanging on by tender threads of pink life, he hoped to tuck whatever was left around him like he had when he was a child, creating a small cave for him and him alone. 

Kai was thinking in full circle thoughts, that crippling adult understanding washing away to childlike hope as he counted the seconds down to when someone would realize he wasn’t catching air, their rush to reach him deterred by the weight of him hurtling towards the waiting dirt. If his bones were not lead-lined they had been made of magnets, his ruined wings having kept him from the realization sooner; the grave always called the body. 

The carrion had made the decent look appealing. Kai had grown up seeing the demons sore up only to tuck their tar-colored wings close to their bodies, looking freer than when Kai stretched his out, the span of his shadow over the sea. If they could feel the thrill of descent he could find it in him to enjoy the last of his sorry life. 

The wind picked up, spinning him, round and round, dizzying and giggling. It was his twinkling laugh that made you look up. The jagged rocks circling his falling form, the ceiling of your cave the perfect opening for him to find himself invading. The sun was setting just enough so that the shadow of him cut deep into you, palms slick as you pushed up from where you sat at the edge of the moon pool, sand coating your fingers as you pressed a hand to your racing heart. Blood rushing in your ears, serpentine fear wrapping around your limbs running a chill down your spine. 

They had come, found your hiding spot, and planned to finish you off, that laugh was only the start. It had not yet turned cruel as it was that day, the parroting of the group still ingrained right behind your ears, following you around no matter how you tried to shake the thoughts. And now they were coming down like a meteor into the only safe space you had ever known. The entrance was hard to maneuver with wings; it only made sense they would have a rough time with landing except there was a giant splash, the water in the moonpool lapping up, the crashing sound like the waves hitting the rocks only now echoing in the carved out cave. 

Everything was getting wet, the water cold to your skin as it dotted your legs, feeling like a burn when you were so shocked. Because as the water settled, the churning sound still worked its way through your skull and it began to rain. The soft white feathers swung down billowing side to side, drifting as if they were a newborn butterfly, always knowing flying was in their bones but never knowing they could do it alone. Drifting to a final stop on water starting to calm. And there sinking to the bottom, face up and eyes closed, was an angel. 

His white wings torn and weighed him down lower and lower to the sandy floor of the pool, the plume of derby shadowing him as he hit the bottom. Hands out on either side of him like someone welcoming in the sun after a long winter, the look you saw before a much needed embrace, not as if you had ever seen it before. 

Stepping to the edge where sand turned to rock you looked back up at the sky, the fading light of the day slipping into hazy darkness, the blue hour working its way over the land before the moon fully made its appearance. But you could only see the slow falling feathers, catching wind and making way in other directions far from where you stood now. If he had been pushed by a demon they would have been on their kill without a second thought, they tracked them without mercy, like the hunters who aimed to play with their food instead of showing it the grace of kindness. If they had hit to watch him run they would have chased until it was over not let him sink in this water so far from home. They would have wanted the angels to see what they had done to such a pretty face. 

Because he was pretty, even in dying. The last bubbling breaths fluttered to the surface until they broke through the tension. You trembled, cold all over from the moment's rush of fear that was still coursing through you, hands clenching and unclenching as you thought over what to do with him. In the water he could rot without much worry to you, the fish would pick him over but it wasn't as if you got many swimming around anymore. The sea folk had warned of swimming too close to your pool, for the first couple months of you finding shelter in the hollow cave, the fish had been your only source of sustenance. But the sea folk kept to their own, even the lowest of the food chain, warning them about you had been easy enough. So his body would rise unless his wings found themselves lodged under a rock. 

You were ready to turn, find company in him even if he was at the bottom of the water until a single lone feather caught your attention. Eyes tracing the swaying descent like a cat following the trail of a mouse. Bleached white like a bone, pearlescent once it landed on the now still water, cupped like a curved leaf or petal. And there, dotted like a heart, was a single spot of blood. You could remember the way your own feathers looked, black enough for the blood to seep in and disappear like it had never existed. 

It had felt like drowning the day you found yourself here. Falling from where they had dropped you had hurt, the salt water burning your open wounds like a quick scratch from a cat. Your mouth full of the ocean, choking and suffocating you as you claw for anything to grasp. They had left you, the rain of black feathers not unlike this angel's white ones now. Only you had been still fighting, ripping at the hold that death had on you because in death you would have to go back to some kind of hell and you wouldn't be able to survive an eternity with your worst moments, not when at that peak they felt that excruciating. 

The angel now had given up, his twitching hand slowing to a stop. If the day you had found yourself drowning in this very pool had been your worst you would not let the same death kill someone else when you knew that it had been survivable. You would not take the name of your brethren as a brand but only the burden as it was, this action a shoulder shake to lessen its hold. So you dove in. 

You had reached the bottom before, the sandy ground only six feet deep, a proper grave for when your arrow rang true on the rare fish that came in. They sank from how heavy the weight of their death hit them. But they had never been truly heavy and you still felt weak in comparison to the other demons you should have taken after. It wasn't until you reached him that you realized you would have to touch him to take him to the surface. 

Your hands slid around his wrist, trying to lift him just enough to get your arms under his. Legs kicked behind you as you struggled to keep yourself in the right position, lungs constricting. He was lighter than you imagined and it was mostly because of the water's help, but his wings, broken, bent, and barely hanging on, weighed him down, hanging behind him like a sheet torn to bits. 

Kicking and kicking you went, feet pushing against the rocky walls lined with coral, sharp enough to cut into your feet. Blood was darkening the small space, his and yours, mixing as you went. The need to breathe begged at your aching lungs, throat tight with the need. He was so limp, no help as you finally broke the surface, gasping air by the mouthful as you reached an arm out for the edge. 

It hasn't crossed your mind how you would pull him out only that it was better to have his head above the water than below it. But you tried, not caring if he got scratched up as you pushed him needing to get him halfway out of the water so he was easier to pull out. Your grunts turned into near cries, he was heavier and heavier the more you pushed him out of the water, sopping body, wings, and clothes adding on to the bricks piled up you felt you were pushing out. When he was halfway up when your arms weak, you pulled yourself out of the water. No time to take a breather as you wrapped both your hands around his wrists. You groaned, putting all your weight back, tugging and tugging until he was just feet resting in the bloody water. 

Your arms are trembling, half limp only held up with the adrenaline crossing through you from the fear that was still making its way through your veins. Pushing him onto his back his partially open mouth looked as if he had already gone and died, effort wasted if you gave up now. You had never been taught the art of saving anyone but you knew what you would want if someone had been kind enough to lift a hand to help you. Fingers locked together you press on his chest, shoulders burning with the effort. Dripping water fell from your chin as you went, the droplets sliding down his cheeks like tears as you cursed. “Don't,” it was all you could make out from your clenched teeth, a demand that he not die right here, right now. Sand digging into your legs, grains between each feather pressed under him, turning them golden as the fading light hit in just right. 

You pressed so hard you felt your arms out snap, elbows locked, chest heaving in the way you wanted him to and then he coughed. The strangled choke like a morning bell, that slim chance of promise of another day. His body jerked to life, shocked like lightning he bolted, turning to the side and vomiting a mess of sea. Your nose scrunching as you sat back,  joints electrified and shot, you fell back into the sand, watching the high mouth of the cave as you listened to him continue his fit. 

In the time you had spent in the Moolpools cave it was easy to only make small movements, you hardly went out unless you were truly hungry enough to risk it. This had been the most motion you had done in a long time, and now you knew exactly why it was easy for them to target you. You felt weak, you were weak, this was only proof enough. But you had saved him, if even for a second, and they would have thought you weak for that too. 

You could hear their laughs right behind your ears. You had not been facing the sky then, but you had hoped, their hands forcing your face into the dirt. Childish demon cruelty taken a step too far even in the eyes of the elders. It had taken you a long time to catch your breath then, your lungs never obeying you but it's another reason why they had believed you dead, the sudden stillness that had taken over your body as the pain made its way through you. You wondered if your angel felt that way now. Only you had been kind enough to let him see the sky before he slipped into unconsciousness. 

Because he had, as you regained your strength to look at him, eyes closed, breathing rapid and uneven. You had given him a chance and now you didn't know what to do with him. His wings were bent and broken. Hardly any feathers clinging to the frail bones they had been attached to. It would be hell to fix them, pain unimaginable to bind and snap them back into place, stitch them together, and pray for some way to make them better again. You stood over him, the white shirt that had once been billowing in the wind was now transparent and clinging to his skin, the thread strong and fine. 

When they had ripped your wings off you had nothing left to attach, not that you haven't tried, but alone with no help there was no way to reattach wings with your hands. No way to reach behind yourself except to feel the spots they had once been, the jagged scars still there now, the ghost pain of that day still shooting down your back every time you dreamt of that day. And on the worst days, you could imagine them still behind you, heavy and protective, enough to curl yourself into your personal space, alone in the dark velvet home you had been born with already built in. Wishing they were back was worse than knowing the pain of them being taken away. And even as a demon, you would not be so cruel as your brethren had been to leave you without so much as the one thing that should never be taken from a person, angel or not. 

You still had your embroidery kit, the soft bag had been tied to your finger the day they had ruined you. The thread was dark, dyed to match the rocky mountains you had been sewing into the fabric. You wonder if they had burned your work after you were gone. All the hard hours doing the thing that you had hoped would get you by in the underworld. People loved to be flashy, spend on extravagant things, and there had been nothing more extravagant than the garments you had embroidered. 

Tucked in the bottom of the small pouch was a thin sharp pair of scissors, the handle shaped like a bird, wings laid back with its beak glossed in gold. They had been a gift when you started to learn, your needles next to them clicking around, silver and all different sizes. Everything was so small, your only weapon that day as if it would hurt them. They Had been useless but they would be put to work now. He would need to be wiped of the sand before you went in and started to clean the wounds enough to see where you would have to help sew him back together. 

You had collected a fair amount of things having lived in the cave for so long, your stash that was similar to a magpies, pretty but never something you used. Sometimes you would find things and keep them just because you might want them because it was better having something over nothing. The crate of glass bottles filled with alcohol is one of those things. It had washed up on the beach after a ship had hit the rocks, too close during a storm to leave anyone alive in the mess. You had picked over the wreckage just as the carrion you were nicknamed after. Someone would have wanted it and so you had taken it just because of that fact, if the gold meant nothing to you but everything to another you would have it, as was your nature. Now you could use it, uncork the bottle, and pour it over his back if you could get him to roll over again. 

Kai did not see you move to the dark corner where your stash was hidden when he blinked himself awake. In his confusion his lungs still felt full, his throat constricting as if he was waking in the water and not beside it, choking because his mind was trying to catch up to his reality. He hurt all over, his chest and stomach scratched and burning, heavy with an ache of bruised ribs. His back was on fire, screaming at him, begging him to scratch and rip at the pain. It made him whimper, the only sound that could come out from his raw throat. 

He could not think past anything but the look of the sky above him and not behind him as he fell. And when you showed yourself, a bottle of clear liquor in one hand and a small pouch in the other, he believed you to be a human stumbling upon him on a lone beach. He had not seen many humans, accustomed to staying up in the heavens with his brethren. And how could he have known what you really were when you were wingless? You had not grown the horns that most of the demons possessed, you could feel the spot they must have wanted to sprout through if they had been given the chance, the area always colder than the rest of your scalp. It had been one of the things they had picked at when taking their dues. 

To them, you had been no demon without the markers they had been so used to seeing, your wings the only thing tying you down to their depths. Even your power had been faint, strong enough to only wave a candle's flame to life, no roaring forest fires and destruction.  To Kai, in that moment you were nothing more than a girl who looked like the saving grace he had been begging so fiercely for when falling. 

For an angel, his dark eyes cut through you like knives. You had not been looked at so intensely since the attack, people who caught a glance had known to keep going and turn away. This gaze was a line of glimmering hope that he had thrown around your shoulders tightening until it was nothing but a collar of expectations tugging you forward. You had been taught to crush looks that felt suffocating, praise broken bonds, and burnt bridges before ever letting someone take you for a helping hand and honest heart. “Do not look at me like I'm something to be thankful for,” 

It was not the first thing that he had expected you to say to him. Not when he was so close to thinking you to be some sort of angel like him without the matching wings. Your voice cut through him, sharp and demanding, nearly as painful as it had been to wake up like this. Everything was falling apart; his body, his grip, which he had believed to be tight, around his good faith in people. But you had pulled him out of the water and maybe he had come to expect too much from people. A package deal that had been wrapped up in the warped expectations of the angels. Not that most of them followed the rules, but it was better to hide behind the guise of kindness than the truth of wrongdoing and instinctual indifference. 

The fallen angel only blinked back at your words instead of taking them in, eyes softening at the realization that it had been you alone to pull him out, your chin still dripping with the saltwater that stung the open wounds on his back. He could not do anything but look at you thankfully because it was the only thing he could focus on feeling without turning back into a pit of despair that had let him give up the second he had hit the water. Thinking even about that second of thought that would have led to forever was nothing but crushing rocks landing on his back heavier than the wings still trying to hang on by nothing but thin ribbons of flesh. 

And in truth what the look did was make you nervous. Like some lone schoolgirl who couldn't be under the pressure of her class watching a presentation. It frustrated you to no end, twisting a bloody knuckled hand around your insides and tugging them down to your knees. He was in no way able to make a move to hurt you that you wouldn't see coming first. You knew the small cave better than anyone alive and he was weak, his hands opening and closing limply like the steady wings of a butterfly resting. And all his feeble voice could muster up in response was, “Thank you,” 

The words strung together felt like thrown stones hitting you one after the other. You had been kicked out of your home and told you were no more demon than the humans roaming the castles pretending to play ruler and kingdom. To be told thank you for saving anyone, or even more specifically an angel’s, life was the final nail in your coffin. Every last thing they had said to you as they ripped your wings from your shoulders buried deep enough to burn, those two words sprouting from the grave to show the fruits of your tormentor's labor. The final stamp to seal the truth of your wrongfulness. 

It would have been easier to kill him then, easier than having to hold him down as you tried to help him, and easier than pulling him up from the depths of the moon pool. But they had been right to call you a sympathizer, right in calling you weak because looking at him needing you it was impossible to turn him away. “I'm going to hurt you,” it was a warning bell, the echo of your voice mimicking the sound of some faint prophetic truth. It was not your intention to cause pain on him but the only way that you could help him. It was easier to confess to that than to say you would try and fix him. 

But Kai did not listen, he did not care if you hurt him so long as it made his mind stop working over his last thoughts. The blinking of tears the second he had been pushed had made him feel little again, a child wondering why bad things happened at all. Why would someone push him, why would someone rip his wings until they were nothing but dead weight trying and failing to hold on to their last breath, drowning him, pulling him under into nothing but darkness? He had been wronged more than he thought would ever happen to him and if those who claimed to be honest, kind people,were the ones who hurt him, what was there to believe when those claiming to hurt him had done nothing but pull him free from death? It was a mess of contradictions and his gut was not helping him pick sides. He was a mix of emotions that felt hollow like a long dead tree waiting for a victim to fall into and perish just the same. Being hurt meant nothing to a newly found desolate creature, betrayed, and seeking grace. 

And so he would let you hurt him because he had nothing to lose, no more to give but turn over and let you try whatever it was that you had planned to help fix him. It was like a mutual understanding had fallen over the two of you like a blanket. He saw the bottle in your hand and knew, watched your fingers as they pulled out the needle, watched the way the metal turned red and you started to heat it enough to sterilize it. It was then that he knew what you were. 

It did not make him cringe, not when he knew that to have a demon at his back was akin to death incarnate welcoming themselves to twist a knife right into his spine. He knew that there were hardly enough people on this island who would have helped him enough to the point that they wouldn’t have gotten ill at the sight of his blood. Demons had steady hands; they did not tremble and they did not cower away from gore. To have been stumbled upon by a demon as generous as you were was a blessing he could not fight back against. 

So he let you turn him over, your warm hands working to take off his shirt, cutting it away until it was nothing but scraps, his face pressed into the sand, the grains catching in his lashes. You were gentle with him, laying out his wings that had lost most of their feelings, numb all the way up until they hit the spots right where they were supposed to be connected. It was the only place he could feel the pain anymore, his lungs and throat secondary to the pain he was feeling right there at the root of him. If everyone else had worn their hearts on their sleeves angels had found a way to wear their hearts on their back, their life source, and now it was screaming at him. 

You picked over the scraps of his shirt, peeling away the thread in long stands, looping the thread around your fingers, and making a small ball for you to pull from as you worked. He kept his eyes closed, lashes laying so peacefully across his cheeks as if he was dreaming in the moonlight and not waiting for you to put him back together. There was no going back the second you started, not unless you picked him apart again just to see the way he looked again while hurt. The thought made you feel a bit sick. The intrusion of it is either your mind trying to work around the situation or your faint demon instinct kicking in, playing with the idea until you fall into the trap of it. 

But it was still enticing even if it was sickening. You were so alone and bored, with nothing to do and no one to see. You had been hurt and had not yet found the outlet for that pain even years later, this was the perfect opportunity and yet you could not bring yourself to do anything but cringe the second you straddled his back. Holding him down with the weight of you as you poured the liquor over his wounds and watched him writhe from the pain. There was little enjoyment to find here. 

Kai tried to keep his mouth shut nearly as tight as his eyes but the second the first wave of the anesthetic washed over him he could not help himself from screaming. It echoed around the cave, loud enough to find itself spilling from the cave's top entrance. If anyone had been walking around they would have run, believing some wolf had gotten too far from the woods and taken a victim. You did not try to shush him, just placed your warm palm in the center of his back and pushed him back down, trying to keep him still even if it was an impossible task at that point. 

Then the first stitch came. It was easier to hold back, easier to try and focus on anything else but the blinding pain he was feeling, it was something other than the emptiness settling over him. He could not think of anything good coming from this, could not see himself going home again, to see his friends, the ones who had pushed him, his mother, his sisters. There was nothing but shame and treachery. They would have welcomed him back even wingless but there was no way for him to ever feel at home again, not when he knew what it was like to be nothing but air and death. 

He did not care if he did not move from that spot, the sand the only thing grounding him as he sunk his fingers in curling them until he could feel nothing but his mind trying to work and count every grain he could imagine on his skin. It was nothing but a tactic to let the pain wash away for even a second. He didn't even realize he was crying until the wetness was making more sand stick to his cheek. The soft rumbling of his whimpers mixed in with the faint groans he would release after a particularly tender part of the stitching. 

“You are very lucky to have me, when they took my wings I had nothing to do but bury the one they had left hanging. I don't know what it had looked like but I do know that it felt like this,” you were muttering, talking to yourself and letting the words come out without a filter just as you did when he hadn't been here. “I would have wanted even the one to be stitched back but I remember the pain and I'm-” The word sorry was not one that came from you often or at all, there was little you could do but say it now but still your throat caught. “I would not wish it on anyone,” 

Your fingers worked fluently, picking up the memory of the old stitches you had perfected long ago in a life you did not care to remember. This was nothing but an old way of passing time that you had practiced over and over again. You had never stitched up flesh and blood but it was no different now than it had been then. In a way, it was a comfort you should not have found in the task but it was impossible not to. 

“I do not know how well this will work but I will try,” his wings, covered in sparse feathers, twitched every once in a while as you carefully threaded your needles, tightening the stitches and watching the way the wings came back to life like a marionette doll pulled at its strings. It was hope and nothing more. 

Kai couldn't grit out any more words, the sound of your voice washing over him like a balm but nothing more. He wanted to hate you but knew it was necessary to feel this way when it came to pain. They had told him never to bite the hand that fed him but this was a forceful hand coming out to get him, twisting its fingers in his hair and pushing his face in the dirt until it was nothing but a given that he had to eat whatever it was that was handed to him. But he listened, taking in each word and trying to keep them as close as he could get them. 

Tried to imagine you with dark wings at your back. The silky feathers always shined so nicely in comparison to his white ones. His wings had looked plush and downy, nothing like the oily temptation of the demons. But he could not get the image around his head, could not see what it looked like any more than what it would look like to go home again. It was with you in his mind that he passed out, eyes closing until there was nothing but peaceful darkness where he had no reason to think of hurtful homecomings and angels dressed as death. 

You noticed almost as soon as he fell into the pain. Body going slack underneath you, all of his muscles loosening before he was nothing but twitching nerve ends from each insertion of the needle. It was not delightful work but clean and concise, the expert precision of a fiber works artist long since skilled in their field. Every so often your fingers struggled to keep hold of the slipping needle, the tips of each digit dipped in crimson as you went on with your task. And even as he lay there you went on with your muttering. “We will have to look for more feathers, only a few fell in here, I still have a couple but I don't know how well you will feel looking spotted like a pigeon,” 

For a long time, you had been sick at the sight of the clutch of feathers that you had kept from your wings long gone. It had been nothing but pain to see them, the sight cutting into you like a knife just sharpened on a whetstone. You had wanted to bury them right along with the wing you had put to rest, ripped the rest of the way from your back from your own hands, and yet you couldn't part with them just as you couldn't let go of the needles from your past life. 

Helping him right now, pinching skin to pierce through and thread, felt like it was somehow stitching up a bit of yourself. You acted fast almost as soon as he was out of the water because it was the way you would have wanted someone to help you. Without discrimination, just understanding. They had given you no chance and if you could not give it to yourself you would give it to someone not far off from you. Because you knew what it was like to live here stuck wingless with nothing to do but try not to rot like some discarded apple. It had taken everything in you to help yourself once you had let go of your past life. The feeling was nothing like you had ever felt before. 

It was emptiness, no more and no less, just an expanse of nothingness that unraveled the farther and farther you went into the recesses of your mind. To pull yourself from that pit and find some kind of routine was nothing short of a miracle. But if someone had been waiting here, even if they didn't pull you out of the water but took the wing you had and gave you the hope to live with that once comfort would have been better than nothing. Even if he didn't have full control over his wings like before he would still have his childhood home still there right at his back protecting him when no one else had. If you could give him that it was enough. 

But then when the sewing was done there was nothing to do but let him rest. The work you had done was as neat as it could be, the prickling skin around the base of each wing would hold steady and let the skin heal. You stood looking over him, sleeping with his soft cheek on the sand, his hair once wet now dry and resting against his sleeping brow. Angelic was the only word that would surface and it felt silly to attach something so obvious to him. He was nothing but angelic down to the bone; to his blood. But even still freckled in dried blood and his half-feathered wings you could tell it was written all over him fallen or not. 

You had seen little of the angels when growing up but occasionally they made a pass over the moonpool's mouth. Their bell-like laughter twinkled like the stars in the night that they flew with. They had seemed so far off and distant. But what you had been told about them was that they were nothing but selfish and self-righteous. Underneath the beauty was callous arrogance, they helped others but only if they had already achieved more and found that they could take the last step without them. Take help but never give credit unless it is beneficial to them to say, drop everything to look good, or fend for themselves. 

They had said all demons had shared blood with the angels, until one was banished, the bitterness infecting their souls until their wings turned ebony with rage and the promise of revenge. The story had been on your mind the second they had picked on you for being weak, wondering if somehow your blood had run thin and showed assets of your long since dead ancestors who had seen the heavens and walked with wings of ivory at their backs. Because although you found yourself thinking cruel things you did not dream to be a cruel person. 

So you cleaned him up as best you could, cleaning the blood from your hands and his back, taking the time to take your wet cloth over his feathers to try and clean them as best as you could. You watched his wings twitch in response every so often but he did not stir, there was little you could do in terms of his pain, little more you could do if he found himself with an infection. You could hardly keep yourself alive in the space, you don't get many fish unless you make it out to the beach at night, or find a rabbit in the woods easy enough to catch with a trap. Two mouths to feed was a limit you would have to push yourself to reach. 

But it was something you would think about in the morning, not when the sun was gone and the cave was dark enough that the only thing you could see was the faint glow of the moonpool. The water reflected onto the walls of the cave, washing everything in an eerie blue hue that minced what it would have looked like if you plunged in and swam with the sea folk. It was one of the few beautiful things you could indulge in and yet now you could add to the list because you had him to look at. 

Without turning your back to him you found your usual spot against the wall, the perfect place so that it was just hidden in the dark with the view to see the ceiling's entrance. There was nowhere else to look with him blocking the water as you lay down, back pressed up against the smooth stone wall, washing your heated skin with the faint coolness it had been seeking. You traced the lines of his sleeping face, scared to fall asleep with him so close. Wishing that in that moment you had your own wings to wrap you up, block you from the fear of waking up with him so near with nothing but questions and demands. 

You curled up with your small blanket, tucking it under your chin keeping the angel in sight. It was only when your lashes were fluttering closed that you noticed his eyes start to peek open. He only blinked faintly, a tremble starting in his arms but he was unable to move them. Kai felt weak, drained of everything, vision blurry with the sight of you lying down in the blue darkness. 

Whatever fear you had before was slowly washing away with the look of pain written all over him. He had no way of hurting you when he could hardly breathe properly from the pain. “What is your name?” you could not keep calling him the angel in your head or out loud. 

Your whisper carried in the room and he closed his eyes at the sound, it had been what he had heard before he passed out and it only made his mind feel at ease, something to grab onto in the pain. “Huening kai,” it was low and the only thing in the whole room besides the two of you. 

“You need to rest Kai, tomorrow we have to look for any feathers that may have dropped around the beach or the woods,” but Kai didn't care about that, not when he was still trying to find more of you to hold onto. 

“What’s-” he couldn't think of the rest of the sentence, not until it was tumbling into him like the rocks off the side of a cliff. He wanted to know your name and hold onto it so he could attach it to the thoughts and memories he was building of you in his head. “What's your name?” He was looking through his lashes only able to keep his eyes open the smallest bit because even that had felt like it took too much energy, the small twitches of his fingers taking most of the rest of his will. 

For a second you could not remember what you had been called before you were just you, because in here, alone, no one asked and no one cared. But it came back to you like the moon had come back each night, there was no forgetting it even if it sounded foreign on your tongue after so many years. Saying it, Kai could hear how unsure you felt until you repeated it again for him. 

So that's how he said it in his head, the slight second between the two the repentance following the state of his mind, that question lingering at the last syllable, and the sigh of content following the tail end when he said it again. So he let it go over and over in his head, counted the letters like sheep jumping over him, letting the thought of you lull him back to sleep instead of the pain. And you followed right after him, sleeping fitfully because every time you heard a small hitch in his breathing you had to make sure he was still alive. Make sure that your effort has not gone to waste. 

And he did live through the night and with your aid you helped him sit up in the morning. Watching him ball his fist and rub at his cheek to rid it of the sand that had built up. He looked like a cherub fallen to the stone and looking up in the foreground of the painting waiting for someone to notice his absence. Because all he could think about was if anyone missed him, if they knew what had happened to him and how he had been pushed instead of just caught in some wind he could not find control in as if he was little and learning to use his wing again. They must have said something, maybe they had blamed a demon for what had happened. 

But now with your eyes on him, watching him as you made to clean his back again, checking if in the night there was no more redness or sign of illness, he could not think to see a demon the same again. Here you were being a complete contradiction to everything he had ever been told in his life. Demons were nothing but troublemakers who thought nothing about others. They kept to themselves and made fun by bringing people down. There was no room for him to think about how good a demon could be to anyone let alone an angel like him. 

Sitting up, letting your warm hands look over his back, he wanted to lean into the touch, let you care for him until he could find a way to fly right out of here. There was no way that he could repay you for something like this, nothing for him to do but sit in the silence you had built around you. But he wanted to break it, crack against the hold that the stillness had over him, and scream at the top of his lungs and curse the heavens even if he had forgiven them for so much already. 

He did not know if he deserved what had happened to him but he understood that it had happened and there was nothing for him to do but take it. Cursing and screaming would do nothing but make him bitter and bitterness took too much from the soul, it drained people and he needed all the energy he could get. “Thank you,” it was again the only thing that he could think to say. 

“I told you it would hurt,” because every brush of your fingers to check your work was making him suck in the air between his clenched teeth, the sound fast and snakelike. 

“Would there have been another way to do it without pain?” it was nothing but a question to poke fun. Kai wanted to lighten the mood but it did not help the situation. 

“Do you think my kind would have taken it if so?” you didn't care to look at his blinking reaction, because as much as he knew you were his only option he still held some kind of grudge against demons. It was written all over his face and you didn't even have to see it to know. It shut kai up in a slip second of shame for thinking the instant no. 

“You're helping me nonetheless,” his hand reached across his body to press at his shoulder, delicate fingers so close to the torn flesh. 

You waved his hand away, “don't touch it, the worst thing would be an infection,” 

“The worst thing would be to lose them all together,” he did not say it to be mean or pick at you, he was not like your kind in that way where they know the thing that would tear you down and pick that option every time. No, he was just stating his truth and he was not lying. Infection could be helped but losing them would be closer to death. It was nothing but words but it made your back burn. 

You had heard of ghost limbs, the feeling of a hand still being there after it had been cut clean off. People believed they could scratch the limb if they thought hard enough to get rid of the feeling. You didn't know how real the feeling would be until you were there with your wing buried in the woods, the other long lost and tossed in a fire if you knew how any of them would have cleaned up the mess they made. If anything was to tear into you it was that first night where everything ached. Your back where the scabs started to turn to scars began to itch and the feeling traveled down to where there was nothingness but the hope of where your wings would resprout if that was ever an option. You wanted to wrap them around you and wished if you felt the ghost of anything it would be the home they had helped you feel but all you had felt was pain. A pain you could not help because there was nothing to do but let it work its way through your system. The pain was not an itch; not so easily taken care of. 

“That would be horrible and if you don't listen to me they will be gone, keep your hand away,” you left no room for argument in your tone and Kai listened. He curled his hand into a fist and sat it in his lap. “Today we will let the area breathe and while I’m out we can get whatever we need to make a salve to help the healing process,” Kai nodded knowing that you were right. He didn't even have the first thought of where to start to find out how to help himself. 

“Can you try and pull your wing in,” you didn't want to push him so early but you needed to know if it was worth the trip to even go out and look for feathers if he could not use them. 

For Kai, it felt like an impossible question to answer. He felt distant from his heart back, like he was cut in half but then he felt your fingertips, the feeling of them dragging along the edge of his wings, tracing the span of them and following the curve. “Can you feel that?” This was easier because it was the only thing he could focus on. The heat of you was constant, radiating from your body onto his like a blanket he wished he could pull in closer. 

“Yes,” it was shallow as he followed the feeling in his mind. He had never been sensitive to touch on his wings, he knew others could feel any brush of their feathers but he felt nothing until now. If he had lost the ability to fly he had gained the ability to have sensation right along the spot he feared he would lose anyway. 

You curled your fingers around the top of his wings slowly following the natural way they folded into themselves and helped him push them close to his back. Kai groaned but it was not as horrible as he expected it to be. With your help, he found whatever connection he had lost because now he could keep them pulled in without your help. But you still helped to tuck the other one close just as neatly, checking around his stitches to make sure they could handle the movement without being impossibly stiff. 

The sight made you clench your jaw. Jealousy had not been a familiar feeling here but it was alive and well now. But it did not matter, you could be jealous and still help him. But you had to get up and turn away, busy yourself with finding your own feathers, the ones you kept at the bottom of your stash of things, making sure they didn't accidentally get seen by you when you didn't want the reminder. 

It had felt easy to say you would give them to him in the moment but the second you pushed aside the spare clothes you had and laid eyes on them it was like saying you would clip off your fingers and let him use them on his own hands. You let the stack of clothes fall right back into place, picking up the loose shirt you could find that would button over him. He would have to wear it backwards because it was not made with wings in mind but there was nothing else for you to do unless he wanted to walk around shirtless. 

But Kai was thankful pushing his arms through the sleeves and leaving the buttons for you to do up for him. You made sure to keep yourself from brushing him accidentally, no need to touch him more than you needed to as you secured the fabric around him. But Kai instantly missed your warmth the second you pulled away. 

“The only way out is up but it's nothing too bad, you only need to raise your arms about this high,” you demonstrated, “it's mostly leg work,” 

“You want me to leave?” he didn't know why it was the first thing he would think, you had just told him about collecting materials to help him but as soon as the words left your mouth all he could think was no don't kick me out don't push me like them, as if you could hear him you shook your head. 

“Do angels only sit around when faced with adversity or do they get up and work?” you slung your bag over your shoulder, slipping both arms in to have it securely against your back. When going out it was the only thing that felt comfortable enough to have at your back when you had little else. “If you want to stay, I say we work together to make sure that we can keep you here for a bit longer, but I cannot do everything and you cannot stay forever. Tonight we only need a few things,” 

“Okay,” Kai stumbled to stand, feeling unstable and wobbly enough to reach out for the walls to hold him up. 

“You can stay here for tonight, rest more if you're not up for it,” 

“No,” it was a slight snap back against the way he was feeling. It was not only because he was feeling weak but because he did not like to sit around doing nothing, he did not want to wait for you to come back or worse wait and think that you were never coming back for him. He's sure that is something a demon would do, leave him here without help just to see how long he would stay without the help. But he was thinking badly because he didn't want to face his own truth, “I need to do something,” anything would be better than sitting around and thinking up ways to hate you over nothing at all. Because there was nothing to hate you over, you had done nothing that would make him hate you but the longer he stayed up with his thoughts they seemed to poison the image of you slowly. And he could not do that to his savior. 

“Fine, you can go first so that I can make sure you don't fall back,” and you had been telling the truth about the way out, the grooves of the walls made perfect spaces for his feet to fit. Only after a few steps up did he have to raise his arms to try and hold himself steady as he kicked his feet out the top of the opening. It was only possible because the side you had set him to get out of was shorter than the rest of the jagged ring of rocks forming the entrance of the cave. And as soon as he was out it was easy to sit and rest with his legs dangling into the open mouth as if he would just jump right into the water he had nearly died in. 

You had no trouble pulling yourself up and out, the rock smoothed down from the amount of time that you had made the trip up even if you avoided it most times. “There is no other way in or out?” Kai asked as you showed him the way down to the grassy underbrush. 

“You could swim in and out, it's not very practical but it's better that way if you want to make sure no one sees you coming in. But I don't think that would be good for you and you have to hold your breath for a long while,” Kai could not think about what it would be like to go back into the water after yesterday, he's sure he would instantly imagine himself drowning again. 

Instead, he focused on following you and your steps through the thick mess of trees surrounding the spot where you had made your home. Distantly he could hear the sea, the soft crashing of waves on the shore lightening as the two of you went until he saw the first blood-dotted feather. 

His wings twitched at the sight, the soft white tucked in between the branches and leaves of a tree. He was silent as he watched you pluck it between your fingers, reaching it like you were picking up a gold coin found on heads for luck. “You will tell me eventually why it is you fell from the heavens won't you?” he watched you twist the feather, examining the dark dried crimson stains. 

“There is little of a story there,” he was clenched all over, fists and jaw tight as you held the feather out for him to take, “you hold it,” he jutted his chin out, the only movement he could bring himself to make or else he would fall apart. 

Kai had gone through many feathers of different sizes growing up. Preening them and feeling grateful to have grown fully so that they did not fall out as often as they had when growing from downy softness to strong enough to let him fly. But it was different to see them like this. He knew they should not be in your hand, or even his. They should not be spread around the woods like bunches of snow that had not yet melted with the coming spring. But it was as if the longer he looked out over the expanse of woods in front of the two of you the more speckles of white he caught mixed in with all the green. 

He was frozen in his spot, stuck just looking out at all the pieces of himself spread out like nothing more than a chess board thrown to the ground, with no intention of being picked up after a soiled game. You could see in him the same kind of evil that was in you twisting itself around your brain the second you moved that stack of clothes and saw your own feathers. When you were young they meant nothing because they had always been there but once it started to go away, once it was nothing more than a pile in front of you it made you feel small and insignificant. 

“When they first ripped my wing it didn't hurt like I had imagined it would have,” you had been frozen, stuck like a kitten who had been picked up by the scruff of its neck. You had looked up with eyes that nearly rolled in your skull the second you realized what had happened. How could you not have felt something so huge? Maybe it was because you could not see it, your mind not catching up with your body until seconds later and it was all you could think to feel. There had been blood, slick down your back and on your fingers as you reached to try and hold onto anything that was left. “For a second you almost think you can fly away from the pain,” 

Kai watched your eyes go unfocused, lost in a thought that had been his reality just the day before. It was almost as if he could feel that foot pressed right into his back again. His ‘friend’ with the heel of his boot cutting into Kai’s spine. He had asked him to look out over the edge of the last cliff, claiming to have seen carrion flying around too close for comfort. It was only a second, looking over the edge so high up he knew that if he flew down and caught the wind that it would be a rush he could never replicate. 

The boot had been nothing but a second before his hands had been on his wings pulling them back until that sickening crunch and tear. It had happened so fast kai had felt nothing until it was all too late. 

“There is always a story and you don't have to tell me yours but know that if I could get revenge on the ones who took my ability to fly, I wouldn't hold back from repeating over and over the same pain they inflicted on me,” you tucked his feather into your bag, “they wouldn't think twice about you so don't give them the grace of never speaking up for what they did to you,” 

“You’d think that because you're a demon,” and for the first time Kai saw you crack a smile, a twisted tarnished thing. 

“We are not too different, the only thing that sets us apart is you thinking you are any better than me. You forget we both woke up in that cave only I was alone and you had me, and how lucky for you that I'm nice and don't just build you up to pull you right back down again,” you turned walking because you needed the distance, “go back if you can't see that we are the same,” 

“My first thought wouldn't have been to hurt someone I helped,” Kai kept pace with you, watching you pick up each one of his feathers as you went. 

“Just because I say I resist hurting you physically does not mean that what you say or think cannot hurt me. You want to freely throw your judgment around and stick a label onto me, reducing me to nothing but blood I did not ask to be born with and still you cannot see how we are exactly the same. We are only doing the same thing in different seasons, only one of us is plain as day and the other is hidden behind some thick smokescreen allowed in whatever game we have found ourselves,”  he could tell there was no room for argument with you. Set in some demon way that made you want to burn instead of heal. But even he knew he was just being bitter, proving you right even if he didn't say it out loud. 

He was grateful and he was upset, he had been a pot of water his whole life and it had never been set above a fire until right now and the bubbling was unwelcome and made him itch all over. He didn't see the reason for revenge when there was no way for him to get back up to the heavens without walking up the stairs and that would feel more shameful than coming back wingless. The only thing he could feel about the topic was that if it had been him or you he's not too sure that it would have been him you would have picked to help. But even he couldn't hide from the truth of wanting to pick himself every time. 

So he kept his mouth shut knowing there was nothing he could say that would make him look better and nothing he could say to make you look worse because faintly you were right about the both of you being so similar. He followed you like a lost puppy, watching you pick over the brush, collecting pieces of him until you found every part of the set to make enough of a picture. You were careful with them, fitting them all together in a neat stack and wrapping a loose string of thread around them to keep them from spilling all over again. 

By the time you two had combed most of the area, the sun was setting into nothing but stars. Two handfuls of feathers and a pit in Kai’s stomach made for little conversation. Keeping his eyes on his footfalls he did not see what it was that made you tense up until it was right there burning in the distance. 

A little ball of fire, dancing seemingly above nothing but the air. A Willo-the–wisp, bright enough to feel like a beacon one could not turn to look away from. But you hissed at the thing, reaching down to pick up a rock, smooth in your palm before you threw it. “Hey!” Kai's voice echoed in empty woods, previously the only sound heard was his crunching footsteps. Your years of walking down here had taught you how to keep yourself light as you made a journey this far out from your home. “See only proving my point, hurting things without reason, what did they ever do to you?” 

But you didn’t feel like explaining yourself to him, it felt silly to believe in rumors about the little creatures but it was impossible not to feel conflicted about bad signs when your life had been full of misfortune.  “Its bad luck to see them,” 

“Well it showed up there was no need to throw a rock at it, bad luck or not it was given the second it popped up,” his statement made you roll your eyes. What was there to do but watch the flame snuff out? It felt better to make the flame extinguish the second you saw it as if they were the thing that leached luck from you the longer they stayed around.  

“I'm not going to sit and let the death promiser dance around and curse me, or you for that matter, I don't know how I would pull your corpse from the cave if you were to die from the infection they wanted to warn you about,” you watched his face pale, your eyebrows lifting letting it known that you had seen that you had won written on him, “see, so let me throw stones, I'm doing it for both of us even if you don't believe it,” 

“It's only an omen, it doesn't mean anything real,” but he was trying to convince himself to fear the little flame, small and weak enough to be taken out by nothing but a pebble. 

“You know we have people who read the stars? Creatures deep in the sea, the woods, the kingdom, even your precious sky. They all have stories and folklore that came from some kind of truth,” you picked up another stone in case you saw another little flame lingering around not wanting to risk a sighting even if you could help it. 

“How are you planning on getting the feathers back on?” Kai wanted anything else but to talk about being the same or not, about folklore and truth. He was tired and didn't want to think about anything else besides what was supposed to come next. 

“Wax, I have lots of candles stored up that will do, if I get the layers thin enough it shouldn't weigh you down. It's also soft enough so that it won’t restrict any growth when they start to grow back,” it felt far away to think about having to go through the process of aging all over again, he had been through the phase of watching his feathers transition he did not want to wait again. The wax would give him an option, anything that would help to keep him from feeling as if he fell so far back from everything he had ever known. 

He wonders if you had thought through the same things with your wings before it was too late. If the idea for the wax had come before or after you buried your last option. He did not think it would be okay to ask that, not when you were helping him already. Demons being fickle was not uncommon; he wouldn't be surprised that you tossed him aside for something new to tinker with if given the option. Rather he gets as much information for you on how to help himself before you leave him with nothing at all. 

You showed him the way back up and down into the cave and for a sickening second, he thought you would push him while he looked for a way to make it down without landing in the water. Your hand had been on his back to steady him and yourself on the edge together. His flinching from your touch only registered as pain and not fear. You jumped down angeling yourself so that you landed right at the edge of the water and you looked up, stepping out of the way waiting for him to follow your lead. 

Kai pushed himself down feeling nothing but air for only a second but it was a second too long. He stumbled as soon as his legs hit the ground, leaning back and looking at you for a sickening moment before he was ready to accept falling back into the water, but you reached out making a fist in his shirt as his arms waved trying to find something to hold onto. The heels of his feet almost tipped him into the water, his wings shuddering and trying to pull in closer, hiding back away as if they could when this damaged. The buttons on the back started to pop with the strain of his weight and he had to reach out for you, hands wrapped around your forearm as you pulled him back to the safety of the sand. 

“You're very clumsy on your feet,” you muttered, pulling yourself away from him and his tight grasp. He was embarrassed but only because he was washed in fear and being caught for it on his face. 

“There was not one time you fell while jumping down?” he waved at the short distance that was available for him to land. 

“Once or twice but you get used to the angle and learn,” you don't put your bag down, not when you have to turn around to look for your candles, keeping your back covered even if now you knew he would do little to hurt you physically. Everything you had picked up from your conversations and just watching him walk around made you realize just how his label fits him so well. He had been more upset over the will-o-the-wisp than his own ruining. But it still didn't make you drop your guard. 

Finding your stack of candles you tucked them under your arm and turned to find Kai sitting in the sand all over again, looking out at the water and watching the way it swayed. He traced the dark outline of the opening leading out to the sea, hardly noticeable if you hadn't said there was a way out before. He would have believed there was only the two of you and not the world's ocean just a few feet away from him. So much just inches away from his tomb that he believed he would have been stuck in until someone found his heavy lead-lined bones. 

“We don't have to do it tonight if you don't want to,” your voice was soft as if you knew he was stuck in some darkness in his mind, struggling against the hold of some blanket of depression he had thrown over himself and couldn't find his way out of. “It would be better too because we need the light and I can hardly make a fire big enough to produce enough,” 

Light, once so easy to produce on the edge of his fingertips, wasted power on his childhood innocence trying to find ways to light up his bedroom when he was supposed to be sleeping. It had been easy back then and now sitting here wanting to get it all over with he couldn't get up enough energy to heat his skin. He was cold all over, blood leached, and hollow. Lifting his palm he focused in on his hands, the soft ridges tracing around the center supposed to be the lifeline or so he had been told. That was where he had always watched the light come from first, starting right at his wrist and working its way up curving between his thumb and pointer finger before it was nothing but light held in his hand like he had caught a star. 

Now it was nothing. Not a flicker of illumination nor a hum of warmth. He balled his fist clenching until he felt his nails digging into his supposed lifeline wishing that if he squeezed hard enough he could find a single drop of anything left in him. And still nothing. Not even enough to help him now when he wanted it, needed it most. “Tomorrow,” the word was a bitter thing, in his chest and making it sound rough with hatred. 

“It takes a bit to get back,” you tried not knowing why you didn't just curl up in your spot and wait for the rest of the sun to set so that you could sleep. Ignore him and his well-deserved mood. But you had done the same thing, sitting in the dark trying to make even the smallest flame and nothing would come, “I was never the best at lighting anything on fire, not even the blades of dry grass they let the little ones practice with,” 

Kai listened, watching you from the corner of his eye as you took a seat next to him, legs crossed just like his, your knee so close to hitting against him he could feel the heat from it. “I should have known then that I wasn't like the rest of them, tailless, hornless, powerless,” you gave a dry humorless laugh, fiddling with the candle sticks you had, letting them spill into your lap picking one only one up and examining the wick. He traced the side of your face, following the bridge of your nose right till the end and watching you blow so softly it wouldn't have taken down the light of a birthday candle. 

But a flame bloomed, catching on the wick, and dancing in the coming darkness. It lit up the features of your face, your eyes shining in the light as you watched the small reflection of your power. You had little to give, children had been playing with fire long since they were learning to crawl and you had only come to master a few tricks. “The only thing that had labeled me a demon were my wings, and they had been…” the edge of your lips wobbled, your jaw clenching closed at the itching in your throat as if this was even too much to say to him. “They had been beautiful,” it was said just as softly as the exhale you had done to light the candle, hardly there and weak. 

“I didn't even care about the fire, anyone can light a match or strike flint and create a spark. But…” 

“Not everyone can fly,” he could feel the way you struggled to say it as if it was traveling from his mind to yours. In the firelight he watched the tear fall, tacking down your cheek faster than you could wipe it away. But you caught it erasing it as if that would take your feelings away from you as if it would keep those intrusive memories from surfacing. Because no one would know how it felt to be that high, physically and mentally, unless they had been up there with you catching air with a laugh bubbling up from your chest like it was coming from a faucet that could never be turned off. 

You blew out the candle, sticking it in the sand and pushing yourself to stand, letting the rest of the candlesticks stay laid out for tomorrow. “Don't worry about what you don't have just yet and be thankful for what you're still holding onto. I'm going to bed.” No more was needed to be said when the two of you both knew it hurt too much to find yourself in the mix of confessions and shared sympathy. So you tossed your bag to the side, turning your back to the wall and closing your eyes so that you couldn't look at the blessing you had given him and hadn't received from anyone else. 

But it was incredibly hard, there was nowhere to look except him or the back of your eyelids and all you could see when you closed your eyes was the vision of you in the sky. It ached to remember and the pain was fresh looking at his new stitches that you had done even with his wings pulled in and sparse of feathers. Because he sat there at the edge of the water trying and failing to open his wings up again without your help this time. 

He could tell they were stiff and he was unfamiliar with the feeling. Before it had been second nature, his wings moving as his lungs did without the need for his mind but now that he focused on them it was like they couldn't work and wouldn't unless he focused on not paying any mind to them. But it was hard to do that when his healing stitches were itching and he was told over and over again by you not to touch them. So he sat there watching the water with his back to you as if that would keep him accountable for not messing up your hard work. 

All that was keeping him up was the promise of tomorrow when the sun would come out and you would help him put his feathers back even if he felt that it wouldn't work. In a way he worried it was too unnatural to work, that somehow it would just fail because it was not right, the wind would not agree and still, if it did work he had no intentions of going home. To go back with wings made of nothing but wax and thread felt like a lie of himself. Some imposter trying to pass as himself to fit back into the same life he had before. But with his wings stuck together like a forged abomination felt like he was never going to find himself comfortable there again. 

He didn't care if they took him in as he was, whispered behind his back, because he knew they would, and let him pretend that everything was the same when it so clearly was not. He knew little of the world below and even less of the world below that one from where you came from, leaving home would be an adjustment but necessary. He just needed his wings healed enough to hide them back inside of him wherever it was they unfurled from when he wanted them. It had been uncomfortable back in the heavens because there was no need to hide who you were. He would have to get used to the feeling but it would not be something as horrible as this ache was now. 

It wasn't until the morning, the sun just peeking over the edge of the cave's mouth that he realized he had not gotten any sleep at all. He listened to the water, the chitter of the animals in the distant woods, and the sound of your easy breathing while you dreamt. He wondered if you would have dreams of flying, if they hurt just as bad as the pain of knowing you never would fly again but he knew they must have been tethered feelings; unable to have one without the other. 

He pictured you over and over again in his head. Imagined you with your wings of night in the air next to him, that laugh you had turned his way unlike the one he heard but one he wished you would give him so that he would know something in his dream would be real. This laugh was somewhere caught between a giggle and a sprinkle of light from his fingertips. He locked in on thinking of the laugh over the feeling of flying because it was impossible to not hurt when thinking of the air. But you, thinking of you, felt safe even if it was some kind of hope caught in a dream. 

Because you would never fly again he knew that much because you were so certain of it. He had known of people who wanted to mimic the feeling of flight. Making things out of clockwork and magic as if it would help them but that felt worse than having to go home stitched up. To walk in with wings not even close to the ones you owned, or were born with, felt like the worst kind of death. You wouldn't have even known that you had died, that the only thing keeping your body animated and moving were the strings of your delusion tied so tight around your joints that you never got a chance to look down and realize this was not you at all. 

So he tried to grasp that laugh because it was the only thing that felt close to real; the only thing that felt close to happening at all even with all the distant hope he was supposed to be having. And when you woke you could see it all over him, the failure written on every inch of him. It fueled an anger you had not felt in years, the simmering pot inside you turned up to boiling over nothing more than an empty glance. 

You kept to yourself, let him stay seated by the water, and went about to find the two of you food. And it wasn't until the two of you had eaten that you set into getting yourself ready for the long days work waiting for you. Candle in hand you watched him look back out over the water and you couldn't take it anymore. Kicking at the sand you watched the grains puff up in a plume around his legs his hands waving away the dust, brows scrunched as he scowled at you, “Stop looking as if I'm a failure already,” 

“I didn't say anything,” but he knows what you're talking about, the thought had infected him and was spreading as rapidly as the infection you had warned him would happen if he touched his back. 

“You didn't have to say anything, trust me if saving your life meant little to me I wouldn't have done it in the first place, I wouldn't waste my time,” you grab the handfuls of feathers, his eyes locking in on them in hand. 

“You have nothing better to do,” he didn't mean to say it but it was true he felt it and it made him believe it was the only reason why you were helping him. Because you were bored here, sitting in a cave doing nothing that he could see because there was nothing to do but sit. He had made it so that you had something to do. In a moment you would turn him away and tell him not to come back, to find someone else willing to help him. But you wouldn't let him give up on you. 

“No, I don't but I could have done anything else besides this. Hell it might be more fun watching you fall again than it would be to watch you actually fly but I guess we won't know unless we try,” but Kai’s scowl was back and it was better than seeing him feel nothing at all. 

“Why would you say that? You know what it's like-” 

“Exactly why would I help you for nothing at all but boredom? I wouldn't help if I didn't want to see you succeed, I wouldn't be doing this at all I would have let you die. So stop wasting my limited kindness and accept my effort without believing it will lead to nothing but failure,” 

“You would do that, wouldn't you?” because it had caught on him, the idea of being watched as he fell again by someone who would enjoy it. Unlike the first time, it would be worse, he would never come back from that fall, because even if he had forgiven the person who had pushed him he had known the second he felt their foot on his spine that it had been out of pure evil, if it were you doing all this just to watch him fail again it would be worse and there would be no forgiveness. “Build me up only to prove I should never fly again,” 

“You are incredibly cynical,” you blow on your candle, watching the flame heat the ivory colored wax so close to matching the color of his feathers. “Did you ever think that maybe I want you to succeed? That it would help me see you make it out of here more yourself than I ever would have left this place?” you stand behind him, pushing back the first row of feathers as gently as you can before placing the feather over the node you knew a new one would find to grow. You tilt the candle just enough until the wax drips, translucent dots pattering around the area as you watch the way they dry the color blending in perfectly. You let the feather go watching the way it sticks and stayed in place, right where it looked like it had never been gone. 

Kai could not feel the process, not when he was lost in his thoughts. He tried to separate the knowledge of you being a demon away from the proof he had of you being nothing more than someone who was lost. The two could be synonymous is what he reminds himself over again. He had his back to you and was hoping you wouldn't shove a knife right through him but that didn't mean he wasn't worried. 

He did not bring up his thoughts again, he let you work and passed himself off as being hopeful when it was the last thing he felt he was. He was grateful that you cared enough to try even if he believed you had ulterior motives but he would not say out loud that he had any hope when it was not true and if it was it felt wrong to jinx it. 

And so you worked, the slow repetitive motions evening out your heartbeat. And even when the wax fell to your fingers you did not flinch, taking the slight burn and continuing. Even Kai did not back away from the fallen wax when the sparse drops landed on his back. Anything was better than the pain he had felt before and now this felt pleasant, trembling from the shock the first time and accepting any other spot that made itself known to him. 

Then the two of you began to talk, small things that felt so insignificant when you were alone. His first question filled up the silence, “What's your favorite color?” you had not been asked in years something so lighthearted, there was no need to have a favorite when you wouldn't seek it out. 

“I don't know,” you had shrugged, dripping the wax over the next feather in the lineup. By midday, you had done one whole wing. The way the feathers overlapped made it so that you never even saw the wax since most of the top feathers had stayed in place. 

“You don't know? How could you not know your favorite color?” It was hard to explain to him how it didn't matter because Kai would take nothing short of an answer he saw as being good enough. He asked again, asked what it had been like when you were a child, and he listened as you tried to explain.  Answering his own questions and trying to take everything off his mind besides you and who you were. 

He asked you everything and anything he could think of until it was too late and the only thing he could think about was the fact you had stopped and were looking over his stitches again. “Is it bad?” 

“No,” it was the opposite of bad, he healed exceedingly fast because of his angel blood, the once torn flesh already looking a day away from having the stitches removed. “It's doing well, but I ran out of feathers for your right wing,” 

“Oh,” he felt like he had been deflated, his shoulders already bent forward so that you could have the best access to his back and he did not think he could sag anymore, yet he did. Periodically as you added more feathers in you would tap your wax-coated fingertip against his spine asking him to stretch his wings out. In the length of a day, he felt stronger and more like himself as the time passed. He could hold the weight of his wings up fine even with the thread still pulling him together bit by bit. And now he couldn't even finish what had been started. 

You had not thought before you spoke up next, the words spilling out as easily as the continued answers to his constant questions, “I still have a few from my wings if you don't mind the color,” but once it was said it felt right. You had no need for the feathers anymore, the only thing they did was bring you pain. They should have been buried right along with the rest of your wing and now you knew that there was some reason out there why you had kept them besides the reminder of a painful past. If they could help it felt right just as it felt right the second you pulled him out of the moon pool. You could give them up because in some way healing him was healing you. What better than to let your feathers fly again when you could not? 

And Kai did not mind, not when now he was itching to fly again, the hope somehow filtering into him the second you had told him to stretch his wings out again, to try. He let you put the feathers on, looked at the glossy ink color, and had not turned away because now he was tying the strings of his delusion on and he could not bring himself to stop. 

You did not feel loss this time around when seeing your past spilled out in a heap in your lap as you took wax to each one, fastening it to the angel boy's wing to give him one last chance that you wish you could have had. It felt cathartic, watching the way the colors contrasted and blended so well together. Your fingers ran over the line of them the second you had finished. A soft sad smile on your lips as you told Kai to stretch one final time before trying to fly. 

It felt so sudden, so soon from the last time he had taken flight. He hadn't even realized it was his last time at least before the fall. He wondered if you remembered your last time, what it had been like, and if it felt just as insignificant to you as it had to him. Wondered what you would have preferred your last flight to have felt like, where you would have gone. But the thoughts were a distraction to him trying to fly now. 

Kai stretched his wings, the white expanse only broken up by the tip of black at the end of his right wing. He couldn't remember what it felt like to lift off the ground instead of hurtling towards it but then he felt it, his heels lifting first, and the soft beat of his wings echoing in the small space. You stood back watching with a blank expression, tingling all over because you couldn't believe you had done it. He was up, the tips of his shoes just hitting the stirring sand before he felt his wings give out.

Shouting he fell, the distance nothing but a foot but feeling like he had come crashing all the way back down the side of a mountain. His back ached but not from pain but the strain of weakness. “You can try again tomorrow, we just have to keep at it even if it's a little bit every day,” Kai had fallen to his knees, looking up at you with his slumped shoulders and puppy dog eyes. 

“Thank you,” the words still tumbled into you, but it was easier to accept when the fruits of your labor were still right at the forefront of your mind. He had flown even if it was just a foot, it had been more than what either of you had expected. You had worried of his stitches ripping, worried of the feathers falling with only a few beats of wind and they had not, both holding stronger than your conviction. 

Your smile could not be contained, the edges of your mouth trying to hold it back like a stranger at the door because it had been far too long since the last time you felt this happy about anything. “It worked,” disbelief made itself known in your tone but Kai was just as surprised. He did not care at that moment if he got any higher off the ground, only that he did not have to lose so much of himself. “It worked,” he mimicked his smile wobbling as he fought back his tears, “it worked,” 

It was the way he said it last that hit home. You did not think about it hurting so bad to see him succeed, jealousy thick and alive in your blood. You wanted that feeling, you wanted those words to come from you not just from being an aid but from being the project. The words were felt all throughout you as he whispered them, just enough to watch the stress of never again flying dissipate into nothing but happiness. He had been empty and you had tipped in a bucket of everything you had to give, he had gained so much and you lost more than you had to offer him. 

There was nothing more to call it besides envy; sickening jealousy. If you could rip the wings right off his back and give them to yourself in that split second you would have. It was not productive but it was the only thing you could see when you looked at him. But you shook your head as if you had been caught in the rain and needed to get the water from your hair, pushing the thoughts to the side. You would never have what he did, no way for you to have given yourself the chance in the way that you had given it to him. 

So you squashed the feeling, talked yourself out of the need to cry once the two of you had laid down. Your back to the wall again as you look at him with that faint smile on his lips because he was getting to sleep peacefully since the first time he had come here without the aid of his pain. The outline of his wings in the darkness made them look just like a shadow behind him. And it was so hard not to cry as soon as you knew he was asleep. Wanted to turn and face the wall to give yourself the illusion of privacy in your struggle to keep the burn in your throat from turning into a sob you had fallen into to fitful sleep. 

What had awoken Kai was the strain in your voice, the way you muttered, again and again, the word no, the noise of it getting louder and louder until it was impossible to ignore the sound as if it was nothing more than the hum of a mourning bird's song. He opened his eyes and there you were on your makeshift bed, your face pressed into the blanket, your back turned to the sky and you reached back trying to scratch at your shoulder blades. But even in sleep, he could see the way it pained you, hands only just brushing over your shoulders when you found yourself pinned down in sleep. You were whining, crying in your sleep, and it was full of pain. 

Because in your sleep you had dreamt of that first night without your wings. You could not lay on your side, could not lay any other way but with your face to the ground like they were pulling your wings from you all over again. Back facing the sky praying that they didn't come in because you had no strength to turn over, no strength in you except to try and restrain yourself from scratching at the healing wounds, unaided by careful stitches. 

It had been a long time since you had felt the dream so real that it made you believe there was something wrong with your back. Because you were somewhere on the edge of your dream telling yourself it was real, that the pain was right there at the surface and you didn't know it unless you woke up. If only you could just wake up instead of struggling as you had back then. And when you looked to your side there was no kai, just the outline of that wing, the one you had to pull off there dead and waiting for its burial. 

But Kai would not let you sleep through it, not let you scratch at your shoulders and wade through the dreamscape colored in nothing but the shade of a nightmare. He grasped your sleeping hand, the one fluttering at your back like a moth to a flame and curled his fingers between yours. Your hands fit neatly against his, locking in place as if you had been reaching out for him the whole time. His free hand was at your lower back, keeping away from the top where he knew you were trying to reach. And when your eyes opened your gasp followed the way you shot up, back pressed back to the wall and you tried to cure the burning. 

You knew this feeling, the momentary ghost wings pretending they still had feelings for which could be hurt. Everything about you felt as if it was shaking, like a rattling cabinet of glass in an earthquake because your world was shaking at your feet telling you something was wrong but you couldn't tell what it was. “It's okay it was only a nightmare,” Kai tried to sooth, thumb running over the back of your hand that he held in both of his. 

In your dream you had been alone, so much of it had been like it always was. Pain circling around everything you had come to know. But now there had been pain but the faint hurt that Kai had not been there to help you. As if he could go back in time and do what you had for him even if it was no use you had just wanted him to be there next to you. But he hadn't been and in the mix of the sobs you had found his name and prayed he would hear because if they were your dreams you should have been able to grab them by the neck and control them, not follow them down the dark hall that felt neverending. 

But waking up to know he had been here the whole time, knowing that if he had been there he would have helped just the same, settled something inside you that had been overrun with worry. You unfurled your arms from around yourself, throwing them around Kai’s neck and pulling him into a hug. 

He did not freeze up under your hold but melted into you, sliding his hands around your back and pulling you closer to him, your face pressed into the space between his throat and his collarbone. He hadn't known how much a hug would have helped him just as it was helping you. You were warm and clinging to him in a way no one had ever needed him. 

Kai could have sat like that with you in his arms until the sun came up and you would have let him because you needed to be closer and needed something that only he could give you. Your fingers ran through his hair, his hands sliding down your lower back pulling you to straddle his hips because he needed you chest to chest, needed to feel the weight of you against them to make sure that he knew it was real just the same as you did. “You're okay,” he whispered the words, a hammer against the dam you had walled up in place to keep you from ever getting close to anyone ever again. 

It was so quick you are unsure why it was your instant reaction. Your lips kissed over the mole he had right along the column of his throat. The feeling of his words pressed right to your mouth when he hummed your name. Everything was so much easier to do in the half dark, the room alight in that blue glow of the water, the moon still high in the sky as he slipped his hands under your shirt, cool against your heated skin and only making you arch further into him, hips sinking as you kissed up his neck. 

Neither of you stopped the other from the exploration, you curled your fingers in his hair right at the base of his neck and he found any expanse of skin that he could let his fingers touch. And when you finally made your kisses stop right at the edge of his lips he couldn't help but turn his head, chasing after your mouth with his desperate desire to get lost in you. Because once you started neither of you could pull yourself away from stopping. 

He tasted like nothing short of twinkling light filling the darkness that you had let wash over you for far too long. His soft moans caught in your mouth with each drag of your hips now perfectly placed over him and his wanting need. It was the only way to describe the way he was feeling, he did not just want you, he needed you, so hard from just a few devouring kisses that you couldn’t resist. 

You pulled away for only a second standing so that you could take the few clothes you had on off. Kai sitting there watching in awe as you peeled off your shirt, his hands itching to have you back on him with no layers between the two of you, chest to chest but closer now being skin to skin. He reached out for your hips pulling you closer to him so that he could rest his chin on your stomach, looking at you like the fallen angel he was, like you were the only savior he had written in his stars. 

He let his lips pepper over you, your hands brushing the hair from his brow, his fingers dipping into your waistband holding the fabric in a way that asked you for permission to tug them down and off. “Please,” he whispered check pressed to your hip, “I need you,” and you would give him everything he asked for if he continued looking at you in that way as if nothing in the world mattered but you at this moment, not your blood or cruel words, just a boy and a girl seeking out the pleasure of another. 

You let him take your pants off just as easily as he had let you tug him free from his. And when you sank onto him, took all of him in with a gasp at the stretch working its way through you, nothing had felt more right. Because he was curving into you, your lips were his only salvation as you slowly rocked your hips back and forth on him. His face washed in the pleasure of having you his hands growing warmer and warmer as they held your back. You did your best to avoid his stitches, ignoring his wings that twitched along with his body every time you found a new slow rhythm to move to. 

The angle the two of you had was grinding against your pleasure point, your moans so sweet and rumbling against him. He traced up the line of your spine with one hand, keeping the other wrapped around your back to make sure you stayed in the circle of space the two of you had created. You whimpered when he brushed over the scars on your back but did not pull away, letting him have a part of you that you would never give to anyone else because he knew what it was like, he knew what it meant, this level of trust rushing into you almost as fast as your coming orgasm. And right behind him the soft blue light of a will-o-the-wisp on the water, gone as quickly as it had come into your field of vision but you would not have cared in that moment anyway. 

Both of you neared the end, and when you came, the feeling in your belly took all the space to think because it had been reduced to feeling only him and the pleasure he was giving you. His hands felt hot and alive with the power he had believed had been lost to him as you trembled in his hold, swallowing down each little noise you made. He guided you down to the blanket stretched out on the sand, rocking his hips now chasing after his own high watching the hazy look wash over your face as you held onto his shoulders. And behind him his wings spread covering the two of you in that safe space you had craved more than anything, his panting breaths pressed to your neck as he spilled all he had into you. 

You could only focus on him and the way he brought you the closest you had ever felt to being whole again. Wrapped up in nothing but him was close to being saved because you both knew how similar you were and to be seen like this, to be understood, was healing all on its own and you welcomed everything he had to offer. You would let him take you again and again because you felt linked, the jealousy washed away because being held like this was enough to sedate the torment you had found yourself subjected to being here alone for so long. 

And in the morning, when the sun came in on the new day you never felt as excited to see the light as you did in that moment. Because Kai was grinning looking over at you knowing what it meant. He would go out and try again and again until he knew that he could fly even if it took time but here starting today would be the beginning and he would be starting it all with you at his side. 

He did not need help out of the cave's mouth this time, pulling himself up as easily as if he had been doing it his whole life. And he stood, looking out over the water below him and knowing that if he fell he had you there willing to pull him out if he needed it. He looked to the sky the second you pulled yourself up next to him, his wings spreading out and beating softly enough to draw your attention. “We don't have to start so high up. I know it's a short distance to the ground and it won't hurt much if you fall but just in case it might be better to go to the beach,” 

He should have listened to you but he was too excited to think about where he was when all he wanted to do was fly. “Just this once and we can go to the beach and try again if not,” he reached his hand out at his side, low enough to find yours and your welcome squeeze in support. 

“It's okay if you don't get up too high so long as they can carry your weight that's the main issue at the moment because of the stitches,” Kai nodded along half listening as he focused in on the clouds. He pulled your hand to his mouth, kissing the back of it before letting it go once more before trying. 

Both of you held your breath, the seconds passing slowly as you waited for his heels to lift again only this time it was so much higher, Kai was rising, each beat of his wings only raising him and widening your smile. You had done it, you had made him fly again and it didn't hurt but made you elated. 

Kai could feel the wind welcoming him, pushing him up and up until he could see nothing but the expanse of blue and you were gone. It was that thought that had him going back. He could have spent all day up there if he could, if he knew that it wouldn't hurt him if he pushed himself so far but thinking of you watching him without being able to feel it tore into him. He flew back down landing right where he had started and laughed like it had caught him by surprise. 

And he looked at you, his arms open enough for you to run into them, that smile you wore was going to be tattooed along the insides of his eyelids because it was the only thing we wanted to see. Because you had done this for him, you had given him his flight back, his hope, and wrapped in nothing but sarcasm and truth because it was your way. So he hugged you tight, kissed you until your arms were locked around him just right and he took you with him. 

It had only been in dreams that you felt the faint feeling of being weightless. The wind hits your face as you let the laugh bask in the morning sun with you. It had been everything Kai had wanted, his dreams coming to reality as he caught the wind to carry the two of you higher and higher, until it felt as if you both would be made of nothing but clouds and happiness. He knew what it meant to be up in the sky like this again for you and knew that it would never be much of a thank you in return for what you have given back to him. 

And when he found a place to be steady, beating wings behind him, no pain in sight as the two of you looked out over the green and blue land and water below you. He held you close, arms keeping you up and in place even with your dangling feet picking up the memory of what it had been like before when you were a child with nothing to be scared of because you had not been wronged yet, you had only been a girl with wings happy to be in the air. 

Kai pressed his forehead to yours, nose dipping and bumping your cheek as he kissed the edge of your smile. And it didn't matter anymore if you felt weak, or had been told it was all that you had ever been because you had saved someone worthy of being saved, picking up yourself along the way and flying through him when flying was only a word thrown around to hurt you. You had put his wings back when they had been nothing but torn flesh and nothing made you feel this good, only the knowledge that you knew he would take you again if you asked. 

The trail of your fingers did not cross your mind when you felt this good, your subconscious working over the thoughts you were having and putting together the puzzle you had made by following the seam of his stitches. You could feel the knot you had tied to secure the wing in place, the spot you would have to cut away when pulling the thread free after you had checked again that his fast healing had done its job. 

But the ghosting of your touch on the closed wound was akin to you pushing him into a frozen lake, the ice breaking beneath him and reminding him just how heavy he had been when he had nothing behind him to support his body. It was the fear mixed with your words that you had said what felt like ages ago, as if when the two of you had shared then you had been different people. But here at his core, he felt it, that foreboding and gut-turning maggots wiggling into his skin and poisoning his already made-up mind. ‘Hell it might be more fun watching you fall again than it would be to watch you actually fly but I guess we won't know unless we try,’ you had said those words, he had rolled them over in his head over and over again because it had not sit right with him, but he could not remember the rest of the conversation, not when your fingers were messing with the stitches right on his back like you were fulfilling a promise. 

It had been quick, the intrusive thought taking over because all he could think again was that you two were similar. He would have helped you yes but if it had been him or you at the bottom of the water and both of you had to pick who got their wings back he would not hesitate to make sure he felt this feeling again. And having you here, threat alive in his mind he could not help himself from leaning into the cruelty if it meant saving this. 

And so he let you go. 

When in his arms it had been the illusion of flying, still grounded to him just by holding on but falling from this height was even closer to the feeling of flying. The wind rippled around you as you fell in slow motion, his sweet angelic face washed in shock at what he had done and all you could do was think about how you would forgive him because you knew that if it had been you in his place, demon or angel, you would have done the same. 

You did not feel heavy, you felt free and the laughter echoed around Kai as he realized his mistake. His fear had control over him in ways he had not expected it to and his shouting did nothing to make it any closer to you as he tried to catch up to your falling form hurtling closer to a waiting grave that had once had a tombstone with his name written on it. You had missed this feeling of freefall and descent, missed the open arms of the wing kissing your skin in the same way Kai’s hands had only the night before. 

And then the feathers started to rain. A few white tumbled down along with you as you looked up at him, wax melting from being so close to the sun for only a short time. The edge of his right wing was still tipped in black as if your feathers had infected his mind and thoughts as if they had been the cause of the drop and not the sickening worry he had of losing everything that had just been returned to him. But you could not stop yourself from thinking again of the story you had been told as a child. That demons had been the same as angels, cast out for the bitterness lingering in their near-empty hearts. You two were the same, cast out, and only now did he truly see it. 

The last of his feathers started to come free, his control over his wings lessening as the two of you fell, the sky a perfect image of just you and him with feathers all around as it had always been. The spotting of inky black feathers floating around you, finally ready to be buried alongside the body they had come from. You reached out, Kai’s hand already trying to find anything on you to grasp but was just far enough to miss by the brush of his fingertips. The expanse of blue widens around you and is impossible to tell if you were rising in the sky or sinking closer to the waiting ocean. 

If falling felt like flying you would welcome the feeling because anything was better than nothing at all. 

<333 thank you to @beomiracles who wrote the opening paragraph that is italicized for this event so that we could all start on the same page- taglist 🏷: @kissmekissykissme @bts-txt-ateez @apeachty @seungfl0wer @lunesdesire @no1likemybbgcharlie @chasingthatjjunie @taegyutomorrow @izzyy-stuff @yeoningz @filmnings @jellymochii @dawngyu @bamgyuuuri @lickingan0rchid @felixleftchickennugget @thetxtdevil @luvsicktyun @hyukascampfire @prince-jjae @liverspaghett want to be added to the taglist? check out my rules to see how to join!want to be taken off the taglist? send an ask!

[maxdibert]

Cho and Lavender were villainized by the narative in favor of Ginny and Hermione

Rowling despises teenage girls with traditionally feminine interests. She only treats those who don’t want to be like “other girls” or the pick-me girls well in the narrative. It’s clear she projects a deeply personal issue onto certain female archetypes, which makes me think she must have a lot of unresolved resentment, probably dating back to her childhood. She portrays Lavender as foolish for being desperate over Ron, when in reality, that’s not foolish at all—it’s completely normal for a teenage girl experiencing her first relationship and not knowing how to handle her emotions. She also mocks Lavender and the Patil twins’ interests, like Divination, girls’ magazines, or gossip, as if those things were inherently frivolous and shallow. It’s as if being a girl and enjoying “girly” things automatically makes you stupid or as if femininity itself is incompatible with having depth and other, more “serious” interests.

Likewise, through Harry’s praise of Ginny for not crying—contrasted with Cho, who does—she implies that sentimentality, emotional expression, or a lack of self-control are negative traits, while repressing emotions (which is traditionally associated with masculinity) is a positive thing that makes you “tougher” or “stronger.” Narratively, Rowling always favors Hermione for “not being like other girls” and turns Ginny into the ultimate pick-me girl. She’s a character who barely matters or has any relevance throughout the series until she suddenly transforms into the perfect cishet teenage boy fantasy: the girl who is super hot and sexually desirable but at the same time doesn’t waste time with “girly stuff” because she’s too busy acting just as aggressive as any macho guy, being hyper-focused on sports, and being “one of the boys,” cracking jokes, being rough, and acting cool. She’s a girl bro, the embodiment of the perfect woman according to male fantasy, not female. It’s as if she were designed by a hormone-driven teenage boy rather than a woman in her thirties.

Ginny is a disaster of a character from a gender analysis perspective—truly atrocious. And then there’s Luna, who doesn’t bother anyone because she’s too weird, yet she’s accepted by the “not-like-other-girls” girls precisely because of that weirdness. She’s the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, completing the trifecta of contemporary misogynistic female stereotypes embodied by Hermione, Ginny, and Luna—the only teenage female characters who are curiously treated positively and praised by the narrative. The rest are torn down at some point, specifically for reasons directly related to their gender.

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

I think the reason why "Fire Emblem" is the weird kid at the nintendo franchies table is because they don't really have a main charcter throughout their series.

Like, Legend of Zelda has Link, Mario Mario, Kirby Kirby, Pikmin the Pikmin/Olimar etc.

A few exptions that could be said is like, Xenoblade. But seeing as they have 3 games so they can just pick any MC they want for the time being to rep it.

Meanwhile the most noteable FE guy is Marth from number of apparances, but if you remove remakes that's like, two games. Even then, he was more in JP only games.

Other people who could have became the face of FE as the flagship mascot could have been

-Lyn: One of the most popular girls in FE. Was from the first US release of the game as a main lord. She most likely can't because she came at an akward time in gaming and would be seen as "wifu bait" to a lot of annoying people.

-Ike: One of the most popular lords in FE. a HUGE fan favorite and even cult following in Smash Bros (Like Smash HATES FE, but they chill with Ike. Because We Like ike). Most likly why he can't be the icon is Sales numbers. Love the Tellious saga but I'll be real, I did not contribute to the sales figure like most of you and played it years later. Also it's heavily implied through writing and breaking of story conventions that he's Gay/Ace/demi. And while Nintndo's super mario said "Gay people cool" it's a Multi billion dollar company so I don't think they'll want that.

-Chrom: For the 3DS people, Chrom is the most memeorible lord out of the bunch. Was the face of the game for a while, sorry lucina and robin fans, but chrom's popularity was bigger at the time of the game. Most likely why he can't be. well. it's Chrom and people's opions changed over time.

-Edelgard: Switch girlies, this one is for you. WE know you love badass women who break so many ethics we make conventions after it. There isn't really much reason to explain the why she can, but the reasons why she can't are kinda lame. Like Ike, she's outright shown being bisexual. And you can't really market that in some places. Plus, to say this the least. She is one of the most divisive FE characters because of how much Nuance is in 3 houses. Love or hate her, she brings out WAY to much from people to be a masctor charcter (Won't stop the FEH alts though). Plus, She's like tied to the other 2 lords that it's like the contract for Who Framed Rogger Rabbit saying "Bugs bunny and Mickey Mouse must be on screen for the same amount of time. Donald Duck and Daffy Duck (last names unrealated) must be on screen for the same amount of time."

-Ephram: he's here as the sacred stones rep. Reson why he can't. he's from sacred stones. that's a cult following in the FE community, sorry but he's not mascotting anything.

-Celica: With her apparance and precness in Engage, a good argument could be made for her. She's a really well written charcter but comes back to the issue of the amount of peopel who've played her game.

-Alfonse: GOTCHA GAME BABY ITS THE GOTCHA GAME GUY HE PROTAGNIST AND GAMBLGIN GOOD

-Veronica: The real rep from FEH. She is a very interesting character that takes up a lot of the story spot light with her growth into learning empathy and understanding. She isn't very static compared to Sherna (She did't even chage after learning she could have been an orphan swapped years ago into the role o a princess after a magical fairy land adventure. This HAPPENED IN BOOK 4. THE FUCK YOU MEAN SHE BARELY CHANGED.) and Alfonse (He changes but, not as much.). Plus she does have more unquie abilities compared to most of FE Cast which is good for a flagship charcter. Really the only reason she did't become FE's mascot and just FEH's is because, it's a gotcha game charcter. people shit on those ALL the time.

Anyway, next CYL they should make all characters votable again and say "Whoever wins the most popular vote will be the Mascot for Fire Emblem until the next game"

why is eirika's cringefail mid-of-all-trades brother here and not the glass canon queen herself 🤨🤨🤨

[williceunleashed]

Even if Nach isn't really part of the canon, how would the fruitsalad kids react to him ?

Uwaaah you all make me want to make Nach canon 😭 I think I'm going to make him canon at this point??? Because his character is actually a great source of conflict??? Like Weed Kid has so much potential..... I'll give Nach a ref sheet soon with a quick redesign for his clothes ! :)

Nach and the fruitsalad kids pretty much have a cousin-like relationship, and Nach is clearly the "cool slightly older cousin" with a cool shiny snivy

Nach & Appoline

I think Nach and Appoline are in constant competition because they just are competitive in nature (Ghetsis curse). The two of them already started training their pokémons despite their young age, so they battle everytime they meet. They keep it rather friendly, but I think their parents (Dardanne and Melony mainly) take their battles super seriously and cheer for them lol. When the battle is over Nach and Appoline politely say "GG" to each other while Dar and Mel fistfight each other on the ground (N and Ghetsis are too scared to intervene at this point)

Appoline 100% forces Nach to join her galarian tea parties. Almost everyone already participated in her galarian tea parties (N, Dar, Rood, Calixte, Scoot, Alder, Bianca, Gray, Cheren, somehow professor Juniper...), so Nach will have to join too. I think there's a constant fight over who's royalty or not during the galarian tea parties, because N is always crowned King N at the start of the game (N himself is a main element of the game. He keeps behaving in the most un-kingly way and all the children keep scolding him) and Nach feels like he also has to be the king because they share the same father (Nach is an entitled little brat (Ghetsis curse 2))

Nach & Square Root

Scoot is pretty much non-verbal with strangers, so it would take a while before he'd even start talking to Nach. Scoot is a pretty quiet and awkward kid, so I don't think Nach and him would be very close. When Scoot is home from school, usually he is around Dardanne taking care of the pokémons. I think Nach would quickly find Scoot "boring"

They could draw together or help cooking though. Like they'd help making crêpes or muffins and socialize through that

Scoot is also super knowledgeable on pokémons in general, like the kid is a walking Pokédex. So I think they can also bond over that

Nach & Calixte

Calixte is pretty young compared to Nach, when Nach is around 8-10 years old, Calixte is around 5 ? I don't think they'd have much of a relationship at this stage. Nach woud naturally gravitate more around Appoline as she is closer to his age.

Calixte is very interested in pokémons though, so he might want to see Nach's snivy ? Even more so because Nach's snivy is shiny ? Calixte pulling a "your pokémon... it talked to me" on Nach

[psychemochanight]

Okay!

First of all, this is going to be different from the Robins, because I didn't analyze them in general as characters, but only in their role as Robin.

This is mainly due to the habit of labeling them in very close roles, something that even DC did, and I will never forgive. These comparisons of "he's the smart one, he's the cool one, etc... but who am I?"... This was stupid af.

Whatever... Let's start with this.

Obviously these characters don't need a "label" to separate them, but I'll give a little description anyway about how I see each one... More or less.

Alfred: the character that the fandom never forgets, but never fully remembers.

Alfred is a key character in Bruce's story, and consequently, he also has a great impact on the lives of the other members of the family.

However, the fandom, and often the writers, forget that Alfred was never and never will be a purely good character.

People forget that Alfred was also cold, distant, and even capable of abandoning his family.

However, this doesn't make him a bad character, I don't even think it makes him a bad person. It just makes him... a human.

Alfred helped Bruce, but he could never guide him to healing. He helped him survive, even live, but always bleeding.

It was with the children that he himself became softer and learned to heal himself in order to heal others.

A great character, with many shades of gray in his existence, some darker than everyone remembers, but still, one of the most iconic to all the times.

You can't just think about Batman without think about Alfred.

Barbara: one of DC's biggest fails, all because of a romance.

Before anyone jumps on me, I'm not saying Babs' existence is a flaw at all.

Barbara, Batgirl, and then Oracle, was probably one of the best introduced characters in the Batman fray. Barbara didn't exactly feel like an out-of-place character, even though she seemed to simply come in as a character who was meant to be a counterpart to the dynamic duo.

To begin with, Barbara wasn't even close to Dick's age at the time, she was more in between Bruce and Dick's age, which gave him an air of maturity that Dick had not yet fully developed, but a youthful air that Bruce had already lost.

As Oracle, this seemed like the role the character was always meant to be created for. She was just in the right place (in my opinion). And if she had been even more independent like Oracle, she would probably be one of the most dangerous characters out there. In our digital age, anyone would notice the true power behind Oracle.

What happened? She was increasingly reduced to simply being Dick's partner.

And before anyone tells me about her solo moments, I know, I know, don't worry.

I don't mean that she only appears as a character in Dick's life, but how the fandom tends to reduce her. If you learn about Barbara through fandom (as many people are introduced to this universe), you wouldn't think of her as a character in her own right. Most of this people don't even know, for example, about her relationship with Cass.

And I still think that if they hadn't changed her age, if they hadn't forced her to be a partner for Dick, the character herself would be much more defined in her own role. If she was just Oracle, and she wasn't returned to her role within the Bat-Family and she expanded her abilities further, it would be much better and complete.

Cassandra: the only heir to the mantle of Batman.

One of the most forgotten characters by the fandom, but who deserves as much recognition as any other member of the family... Although some of her fans need to stop deifying her.

Cass is one of the most interesting characters. Not only is she one of the most skilled in DC, but she is also one of the characters who, in terms of sense of justice and morality, she is probably one of the most consistent. She probably surpasses Batman in her sense of justice, or she will if they continue to develop her in a good way. The fact that she voluntarily rejected her "destiny" is a clear sign of that.

She is not moved by revenge, but by justice. And honestly, I think she's the only one who should truly take the place that Bruce will leave at some point. Dick doesn't want it, and while some may think about Tim, I feel like he should go his own way, just like Damian. And even if Dick were willing, the place has to be Cass's, I have no doubts about that.

I can't say too much about Cass because she's not one of the characters I know the most, but from what I've seen of her, I feel like she's both underrated and overrated, depending on which side of the fandom you look at. If you really want to know her well, you don't have to look at the fandom, not even at her fans, because most of them distort the character.

Duke: the fresh air of the batfamily.

I'm just getting to know Duke, but I swear this is how he feels: a breath of fresh air.

Not only because he's different as the first daytime hero, or one of the few meta-humans who get involved with the batfamily... But in itself the fact that he, although he "took Robin's place"... He never wanted to be Robin.

The fandom also mischaracterizes him at times, making him out to be the "normal" one in the family... (No one in this business can be normal), but still, so far, he is one of the characters that I like the most because of the way his personality is developing. It has a good balance in my opinion, neither all tragedy, nor all pink colored.

If I knew him better I would like to say more about him, but I don't want to come here and make things up and end up giving a false opinion about him... So that's it.

I'm going to be honest, I don't know if you're talking about Selina or Helena-

If you're talking about Selina, I don't have much to say other than DC seriously needs to improve their consistency when it comes to character writing... Seriously.

If you're talking about Helena, I honestly don't remember practically anything about her, I knew her when I was a child, but I haven't seen anything about her since and anything I would be saying is an awful lie.

Harley: one of the few times DC did something nice for a female character.

I'm not going to go into too much detail about her, honestly.

But, one of the best decisions DC could have made was to keep her away from the Joker. Like, they just do the right thing.

I love the moments where she collaborates with any of the bats, although her writing isn't always the best... (I will forever ignore the scene between her and Nightwing in that animation.)

I like seeing her behave more like an antihero than a villain much more than seeing her sticking to the Joker.

And I love her relationship with Ivy.

Talia: victim of circumstances and writers.

I never really tried to get into Talia's story, I know it, but not well enough.

Still, even just knowing things here and there, one can realize that there are writers who genuinely seem to hate her.

I'm not going to give opinions on whether I think she's a good person or not, nor am I going to say whether I like her or not. I prefer to keep that to myself because I feel that my opinion remains incomplete.

Sorry, I know I didn't really respond, like, about all the characters, but I really didn't want to say something that could be wrong just because I don't know the character... Even now I think I could have done that-

But, that's all, I think-

I know you hate labels on them, but if you HAD to label the Robins, how would you do it?

The first one, the second one, the third one...

Ok, out of jokes-

Dick: The first one.

With all that this implies: Dick being the one who founded the bases to follow, the one who made the mistakes that he later taught to correct, the one who saw the empty spaces that others later filled. The first one who had to be everything and learn on his own.

Jason: the DC experiment.

DC DIDN'T know how to deal with Dick's exit as Robin, it's like they never really planned on letting him out, but it happened. Jason became a character of trial and error.

At first he was an exact copy of Grayson, since the first one was successful... But obviously the fans didn't want a Dick Grayson with another name. So what did they do? They gave it a twist and did the opposite... It doesn't work well either.

And instead of continuing to try (even though Jason already had a fan base by that point), they chose to "get rid of" the character and then revive him as a "blank canvas."

A character who had a lot of potential, but they didn't know how to handle him and now the most relevant thing about him is his death because DC doesn't know how to give him continuity.

Tim: the robin of the fans for the fans.

Tim is often referred to as a fandom self-insert, and honestly, it's understandable why.

It's the Robin that gave off vibes similar to the original that was the most loved at the time, but at the same time, had real characteristics that fans could identify with.

Tim is the one with the most "normal" story, he is the one who could be any civilian, the one who seems like he wasn't meant to be, but he was.

In my opinion, the one who best balanced his personality as Robin and as a civilian.

(And that the fandom decides to totally ignore haha </3)

Although DC needs to learn to let go of Tim and let him grow. At this point I think half of the fandom doesn't even know how old he is or what hero he is.

Steph: the Robin who deserves better.

I don't just mean story-wise, obviously none of the characters deserved the shit they suffered and deserve a better life... I mean in general.

The real forgotten Robin is Steph, not Tim, and I'm not going to discuss it with anyone.

They (DC) keep writing the same story over and over again, rewriting the other Robins' history (especially Dick), but never giving us more about Steph.

Give my girl her story. Just like Jason, she has so much potential, give her her moment to shine!

(although, here I have to open parentheses for this: Steph has a much more consistent story than Jason, her role is more defined, but it feels outdated at this point. And, in any case, I feel like Steph shouldn't even really be a "bat", but rather someone independent... Or similar to Nightwing at least, who doesn't wear a bat on his suit).

Damian: the one who deserves not to be Robin.

Let me clarify: "the one who deserves not to be Robin", not "the one who does not deserve to be Robin".

Damian needed to be Robin, it was the key point in his development and I think Dick did the right thing by giving him the role of Robin...

But I feel that he deserves to stop being Robin too.

I think he's going to stop being Robin? No, not with DC writing him. DC has a history of resetting their characters to a certain point, they always bring them back. I don't think they're going to release Damian soon.

But while every character deserves to have a life outside of being heroes, I feel like Damian deserves it the most out of all of them.

The others are adults who have already chosen this, but Damian is a child, a teenager by now... And letting him be something more than the one who was created to be in the underworld, I feel that is the best for him.

I think he should stop being a vigilante? I'm not that sure, but that his life should definitely NOT revolve around that.

"The mission" should not be HIS mission.

So... Yeah, that.

I'm not sure if this makes sense to you tho-