#shes abusive and horrible and I hate her
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“i dont trust people on the internet” - my stepmom regularly.
yeah, the internet can be scary, but I am careful.
also, to my stepmom: Consult the bruises you have left on my body before you talk about who *I* get to trust.
#Zap rambles#I'm mad#like really fucking piissed right now#shes abusive and horrible and I hate her#she treats my father like a child in his own house#as though he doesn't work all week to provide for me and my brother and her and her daughters#shes horrible but my dad is too reliant on her to leave#its hard for him#and I should except that its hard for him and he's not gonna leave her#but I'm so fucking tired of just accepting her abuse#I dont love her#I dont trust her#even if she does turn around and be a genuinley good person its too late#she fucked up#many many fucking times#and I'm tired#fuck#ventpost#I have a small bald spot from where she ripped my hair out the other day I wish I was fucking joking
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The thin, privileged, cream cheese bitch herself 🎉🧀🎉
I don't know what to tell you, I hate her guts but she compels me and I like this version of her best- the version that could be mistaken for a model, the version so beautiful and charismatic that other people listen to her even with her shrill and nasal voice and her stupid heels. She draws in crowds and crowds of people with her cryptid show, she HAS to be convincing, right?
This song is her anthem basically.,
#karen t derma#wild kratts oc#tsftsr#god i love to hate her and her womens wrongs#she's such a horrible and abusive bitch but i love drawing her#do these count as thirst traps??? i'm so sorry lol
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☝️ I love Ursa because I love women who get blamed for everything. its the hottest thing a woman can do
#Ursa atla#<- her full name#I also love mothers who try their best but ultimately fail... so choice#but also like. cant make post talking about her shortcomings ever becus then people will#reblog it with 'yeah she WAS a horrible mother and definitely not a victim of abuse or rape* falalalala I hate nuance'#*I feel like this was obvious but idk
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havent seen this take in a while thankfully but it popped up in my head and i wanna post this anyways. i think everyone who talks about how siffrin “got off too easy” at the end of isat and his friends should have abandoned him should go read warrior cats if they want an example of a character using their trauma as their god-given jailbreak card to treat their family and peers (a good amount of whom who were completely innocent) like dogshit, and who faces zero consequences from the narrative for it (and in fact bends over to blame their peers). like read all the shit jayfeather does while the narrative sobs over how tragic but awesome and quirky he is and then look me in the eye and tell me siffrin’s ending was poorly written.
#or look at titania from reborn. what who said that#at least siffrin’s trauma is actually developed and taken deadly seriously by the narrative and clearly isnt being used to excuse his behav#behavior#siffrin does some shitty things in the story but theyre very obviously in a horrible state mentally and physically thats been breaking them#down little by little by little until theyve exploded and broken down. and his family still holds him accountable for what he did#but they stay with him anyways because they love and respect and care about him and are horrified to learn his situation#meanwhile ivypool goes through trauma yeah but shes not really written like a realistic trauma victim#and when she hurts her sister over and over and over and over and over again its always her sister who has to make it up at the end#and we all gotta sob and coo over ivy because shes the fan favoriteand if you criticize her then you hate trauma victims#(ignoring dovewing’s trauma from the situation as well i might add)#while ivy never gets to grow or acknowledge how her attitude is hurtful to herself and others#its just ‘’well dovewing had it better so she better shut the fuck up and deal with the constant emotional abuse ivy throws at her’’#imagine if isat ended with siffrin going ‘’actually im not sorry bc you all havent suffered as much as me’’#and the party didnt object to that at all and they were like ‘’yes we do have it better so youre justified in hurting us#and also you are the most tragic character ever so you cant face emotional consequences ever’’#(and before anyone goes ‘’well dovewing left the clan and ivypool feels bad about that’’ the story doesnt position it as a consequence of#her behavior to her sister. canonically shes leaving to be with her baby daddy and SHES framed as the one hurting her sister#and shes the one whos gotta mend that rift. while the narrative doesnt acknowledge that that situation was partly her sisters fault at all#)#ok sorry for wc on main jumpscare. i wouldve posted over on the blog but i dont think people over there have played isat#echoed voice#isat spoilers
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I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate people who try to justify Petunia Dursley or say she was a good or “misguided” person.
#🤢#she was a horrible abuser#nothing is good about an abuser#I think people got the wrong idea that to abuse someone you need to be physical with them#which is why a lot of these people are defending her#or saying that the word abuser is too harsh to use against her#but the word abuser is literally a word that describes a person who uses the power they have over a person to belittle them#and use it against them#in whatever form#because abuse doesn’t mean physical harassment only#mind you she did that as well#but let me not get into that#ugh I hate this so much#”oh petunia would’ve been nice if she had divorced Vernon”#“Vernon was a bad influence on her”#“she was manipulated by Vernon”#“she actually liked Harry deep down but was scared of Vernon’s reaction”#DO YALL HEAR YOURSELF????#LITERALLY READ THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THE FIRST BOOK#ITS THERE#VERNON IS THE ONE WHO IS SCARED TO MENTION HARRY OR LILY IN FRONT OF PETUNIA#NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND#mind you I hate that bastard just as much#but I’m just saying#if you’re gonna hate someone hate petunia first#I can’t stand her nor the people who defend her#harry james potter#petunia dursley#harry potter series#harry potter
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need the historical romance girlies to go back to their roots and read forever amber (1944)
#forever amber#kathleen winsor#it's SO serious y'all. five star book and it didn't even have to make me cry i'm going to think about it for the rest of my life#amber is the ubermensch of unlikable female characters and i am obsessed with her. worst woman in the world. wife city.#there's a terrifying section set during the plague where she has to nurse her Main Lover (horrible dude. hate his guts) back to life#two of the nurses sent to help die of plague then right when the horrible man gets better amber also gets sick#so they get a third nurse who is willing to murder them both to get their money so horrible dude murders her first#the plague section is soooo tense and scary it's almost a novella in itself. wonderful writing and detail#kathleen winsor read 365 books about restoration england and was painting diagrams of houses and dresses#ma'am i'm sorry i think i have to retroactively make you take the autism test. incredible devotion to history#there's also a great bit where amber murders her abusive third husband (out of four) and disguises it with the fire of london#literally what else can you want from a book#lit#sometimes i make stuff
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i think bickel and nickloon are both extremely Toxic but in different ways tbh. w/ nickloon they actually did not like each other and nickel spent a lot of his time abusing balloon and balloon was a jerk to him too but by the end they have a lot more communication and genuine respect. like they've talked abt stuff and worked through their emotions and have a playful fun relationship. Forgive & forget
with bickel there was never a moment where they didnt absolutely love adore & respect each other but that could not save them bcuz they bring out the worst in each other and enable each other's biggest flaws and weaknesses. baseball adores nickel and doesnt know how to stand up to him, nickel doesnt understand social cues and thinks baseball is just the greatest ever. mutually assured destruction. nickel and balloon's relationship is pretty much healthy by the end of s3 but baseball and nickel would need to work through SO MUCH in couples therapy for them to be good for each other. They dont need time away from each other or open communication at this point they need a team of people. they need to particpate in a clinical study. they dont know how to define themselves outside of each other!!!!
<- saying this as someone who enjoys both nickloon and bickel as ships but Honestly prefers bickel it just speaks to me more. love the trope of two freaked up nerds who have loved each other forever. their love is never in question, their relationship is never the source of any conflict. they just make everyone around them worse instead <3
#nickcase is toxic for about 1000 different reasons and honestly is just not even fun to think about. nickel was horrible to her and abused#her and she HATES him. he probably wouldnt ever feel comfortable around her either. he feels Bad but doesnt know how to process or fix#what actually happened. bcuz there isnt actually anything he can do to fix it#suitloon is fine but honestly i just find it boring. cannot get into it. plain white bread of ii ships like let balloon be aroace#baseloon?? NOW we're talking#txt#inanimate insanity
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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder
#akio and utena#m#long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human#he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims#he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios#(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her#i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing#not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did#but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway#idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims#the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive#but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her#but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had#reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly#wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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The JD vs Amber Heard stuff was actually insane. I didn't keep up with it because I disagreed with the sheer principle of publicizing something like *that* but the misogyny was MASK OFF...
NO LIKE FRL IT WAS SO INSANE
#ask tag#Tbh like#The thing is i’d already known and been misinformed about the case for a long time prior so I started off thinking depp was innocent#And then I remember when I realized he was very much not partially Bc of the hate I was seeing towards Amber Heard#Like the exposed texts of him saying extremely sexist violent stuff about her and everyone just dismissing that#It became clear that I was wrong from the get-go like that he actually was horrible and I assumed everyone else would realize that too#but then the more ppl dismissed or mocked the real indisputable evidence she brought up#The more I saw that ppl didn’t actually care#They were just excited to be evil and dismissive towards a woman#Lmao sometime after that I stopped giving a fuck about “male mental health” bc clearly they’re not being as shunned as they pretend they r#Sorry is that controversial#I’m just saying if u reversed the genders that trial would’ve played out way differently#The concept of male victims and men with poor mental needing extra attention and care bc theyre sooo marginalized bc they’re men#And they dont get respect and support like those selfish abused women#Should’ve died after this case#Bc whenever there are male victims they get all the support and attention from everyone#Female victims get This#Like dont get me wrong there’s stigma#But the stigma for male victims is “lol you’re like a woman now that’s funny” “lol so r u gay”#The stigma for female victims is “you evil bitch how could you ruin his life you deserved worse you bitch”
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I love the soundtrack for the last Agni Kai because it's not epic, it's tragic. Most shows would make an epic soundtrack for one of the final battles that were the key for victory, but not ATLA. It shows that Zuko's victory isn't really something to be celebrated (though the characters would not be wrong to do so). It shows that Zuko and Azula's story is a tragedy. They're both just children forced to fight a war that wasn't even theirs, and they weren't even able to fight it together
#zuko and azula's story is a tragedy#since they were children their father manipulated them into being cruel and horrible#and like. they don't hate eachother#they care and love eachother so so much. but azula's version of love is sick and twisted#and even when zuko wins the agni kai (which if i might add; azula lost the moment she shot katara. she broke the rules)#he doesn't look angry or hateful. he doesn't celebrate that he's finally beaten one of his two main abusers#he just looks down at her in pity#and later he still doesn't hate her. he even tries to help her!#but azula's mind has been way too twisted by ozai for her to see the errors in her ways#i love them sm :(#atla#avatar#avatar the last airbender#zuko#azula#zuko and azula#azula and zuko#fire siblings#fire hazard#atla zuko#atla azula#the last agni kai#agni kai
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I'm pretty much done with TOH lol.
A braver and more energetic soul can try giving this show a constructive critique... because I will actually, wholeheartedly lose my humanity while writing out the script.
There is like... a problem this show has that permeates the whole thing: It says its going to do one thing, but then does something completely different. Like how the first two episodes of the series make you believe Luz is going to learn how her inability to separate fantasy from reality is actually inhibiting her growth as a person... only to make her a chosen one and to give her everything she ever wanted without Luz changing the way she treats people.
#TOH critical#Reaching Out is my most hated ep along with the series finale bc of how guiltrippy Luz is in RO#Oh yeah Amity i know you have a very valid reason for hating me rn bc its my fault your abusive dad found out you skipped tryouts...#...but you cant be mad at me bc my dad died on your special day. Also I am jealous of you for having an Alive Dad#even tho i know your father is a horrible person and treats you like dogshit lol.#i can never forgive them for lobotomizing Amity's character#like Luz can lie to her face repeatedly and she'll be like... this is fine im sure it wont happen again...#still crazy to me how Amity gets the female love interest treatment you see with m/f ships... how could you do this to her#i want to see the Amity who actually had a spine and was willing to kill to achieve her goals#but no she gets reduced to ''bad but sad girl''... and i start fighting and killing
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Funniest shit ive seen from an arcane blog was them getting mad at caitlyn and vi for being shipped when caitlyn is bad to her, then immediately shipping ambessa and vi… ambessa, aka the one that murders children and thinks all people from zaun should die. Cant make this shit up
#arcane#arcane spoilers#dont get me wrong. caitlyn is a shitter in act 1 to vi#how the other acts handle her will determine how i feel about her#i hope its grief. i hope its to show how horrible grief is#because her behavior somewhat resembles vis when she lost her family.#and how vi was to powder#but idk.#caitlyn fucks up but calling it abuse is pushing it. she lashes out after her mom dies#if caitlyn refuses to properly apologize and make amends#yeah i wont be fond of her#but hopefully she does#and like. yeah vis character is goin g through it#is it pathetic? yeah a little. but she was in jail for 6 years and starved of human contact#it isnt unbelievable that shed latch onto the first person that showed her any affection#shes still young like. thats what being in your 20s is like#fuck ambessa btw#the hypocrisy to hate caitlyn while loving ambessa??? tf
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i know nobody cares about this but me, but the way people still in 2024 think homura is some Obsessive Evil Psycho Abuser™ who wanted everyone but madoka to die horribly drives me up a wall. like, did we watch the same anime/movie(s)? are you just so blinded by hatred of homura that you flat out ignore canon entirely? what is it.
#ableism m#i guess#pmmm#'homura HATES the others and wants them to DIE HORRIBLY because she's an EVIL PSYCHO'#ignoring that she tried to prevent mami's death spent 10+yrs trying to save ALL her friends offered to leave the city if she/kyoko won#yet people will ignore any and all evidence of homura being not even a good but even just a DECENT person#bc 'nooo.... she's an evil meanie stalker abuser !!!! 1!!/'#she's 14 + also this 'take' isn't canonical#like even madoka IN CANON says she could never hate homura iirc etc etc etc#(i think a big part of it is lesbophobia tbh)#(and before anyone says im crazy ive literally seen homura called 'lesbian' the same way she's called 'stalker' ie as an insult)#(and So many bring up the 'psycho lesbian trope' for her...showing affection openly to another girl? and being weird about it bc trauma?)#(and the amount of fandom 'jokes' and stuff of her being perverted for being gay or even a fucking Rapist doesn't help)#rape m#in tags
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i've developed some interesting methods of handling having a relationship with my mother who made my childhood/teen years misery and committed more than a little abuse.
as an adult, we have a very different dynamic, her daughters (sister and i) have confronted her with a lot of her bullshit and the things she both did and enabled. for some she has been sorrowful and even sometimes apologetic. she's a better mother to me now than she ever was when i most needed one. so i'll never actually trust her again, and she'll never be much deeper than surface level in my life, but we have something mostly good now, and on my terms.
however, she is very definitely one of those "i don't remember it that way" and "i did the best i could" mothers in a lot of areas, and has also always been the type to (probably unconsciously) emotionally manipulate the people she's hurt into catering to her hurt feelings about it instead.
over the years i've learned to get really comfortable with just not indulging it.
is she having a bad day, seems sad and upset? i'll give her a hug, try to make her laugh. if she throws broad hints it's a surge of hurt feelings about having driven one of her children to cut her off? well i'm just gonna stand there and not acknowledge or entertain it.
"well, apparently i was a bad mother" or shit like that? i'm just gonna look at her for a second, and i might either shrug or even nod, but i'm not saying a damn thing. i'm not awkwardly, uncomfortably, painfully contorting to her guilt trip nonsense. i'm not apologizing or trying to soothe her or reassure her or minimize it.
like, yeah. you really were. you know it, glad to hear it. we've definitely had that talk.
best kindness, most generosity i can offer her in times like that is not maintaining eye contact to bluntly tell her "yeah, you were." she can go ahead and feel bad about it.
it's not on me to make her feel less bad. she should feel bad. and i am definitely not someone she gets to seek comfort from about it.
hopefully someday she'll inch past just "poor me, i'm so sad and angsty about it" towards, like, examining the whys and acknowledging what she actually did wrong and work actively to be be better. in a few places, some of that has happened.
but that's her work. her job and responsibility. she can do that shit on her own time.
i say all this to offer a shoulder of solidarity to others like me. if you maintain a complicated relationship as an adult with the parent who hurt you and did you wrong as a child, that is okay. you get to choose how and if to thread that needle.
but you don't have to accommodate emotional manipulation and guilt trip garbage. stonewall it. walk away if you need to. don't apologize. don't try to make it better. that's not on you and it doesn't have to be. it's okay.
#to her perhaps dubious 'credit'#this has shown genuine results#she has over the years pulled a lot less of that shit#of laying emotional traps to try and make me comfort her about how horrible she was to us as a mom#because she doesn't get the desired result#it's not an easy thing to make a choice to continue having a relationship with a parent like this#who caused you serious harm and painful long-lasting damage#especially not always intentionally generally not maliciously#the abuse was the abuse and it doesn't matter why#how she conducts herself now is what determines if i give her any chance to be any kind of decent mom now#and it's SO HARD at first#because that's your mom you LOVE your mom even through all the shit#you're hardwired to love your mom and you hate to see your mom hurt#instinct is to Make It Better#but that's not always the correct response it can be downright detrimental#to yourself and to her own personal growth towards being someone better#so you teach yourself to just Let Her Be Upset#she should be upset and in a case like this it may in fact be good for her#and it's just not my damn job to make her feel better and i don't mind making that plain#you grow more comfortable with it over time#hold your ground and your stance gets stronger with each step-back not taken#abuse mention
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"I do everything for you!" Like what mom, like what?
Last I checked dad pays all the bills, dad pays for the food, all the taxes, all the schooling, all the medical stuff. I make make my own food, do my laundry, and I can figure most things out myself.
#sorry just had a fight with my mom#she called my selfish and abusive for accidentally brushing past her foot while she was sleeping 🫤#like i know im a horrible person but don't you think thats exaggerating a little?#this is why i hate summer
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