#shenanigans...
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
soulmissed · 1 year ago
Text
@everlived, ❄️ sc
he paws the scarf around his neck, wrapping and unwrapping and stalling. snow pelts window glass like miniature clouds. (swallow me up, earth. right. damn. now.)
his eyes, cedar brown, hound floor. “ broke a neighbor’s window. ” rogue snowball. “ didn’t wanna get caught, so i ran off. ” he coughs, too. in an effort to soften the incoming reproach.
3 notes · View notes
disbabeled · 5 months ago
Text
Things that should be normalized:
Taking meds in public
Going out to eat by yourself
Not having your drivers license
Asking about allergies when eating out
Things that should NOT be normalized:
Watching loud videos in public without earbuds istg stop it its so annoying I don't want to hear some Minecraft dude screaming while I'm trying to eat my pancakes in peace
52K notes · View notes
fosliie · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
College roommates, lab partners, to basically married pipeline
30K notes · View notes
sparrowsfallingfromthesky · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
27K notes · View notes
eunnieboo · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
every single time
89K notes · View notes
jackalspine · 5 months ago
Text
@schnuffel-danny hehehe
Tumblr media Tumblr media
regarding this post: from schnuffle
52K notes · View notes
ominouspuff · 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
You know who you are
but for everyone else btw it was @razzbberry
56K notes · View notes
sleepy-cone · 1 month ago
Text
Broke: The batfam separates Tim and Damian to stop them from fighting each other.
Woke: The batfam separates Tim and Damian because they both encourage the others' absurd logic to justify feral behavior.
...
Tim: "See when I can focus directly on a case with no interruptions, my success rate goes up exponentially." (Hasn't slept in 56 hrs.)
Damian: "Statistics don't lie"
Tim: "Statistics don't lie"
...
Damian: "When I adopt more animals, it makes me happy, and if I'm happy, I work better with a team."
Tim: "And you help an animal that needs a home."
Damian: "EXACTLY!"
Tim: "If anything, its irresponsible to let them roam the streets as strays."
Damian: "That's what I said!"
...
Tim: "So one of the executives of this firm has been stealing some stuff, but unfortunately, he also has the resources and status to get him off the hook with a light sentence. Which sucks."
Damian: "What if you add a more serious crime to up the charges?"
Tim: "...That is GENIUS! I have dozens of cold cases that I've solved, but the culprits have already died! Im sure one of them could easily pass as him! "
Damian: "I can help if you need any evidence planted."
Tim: "Sure thing! I'll let you know when i find the right felony to give him!"
...
Dick: "At least they're having fun and getting along?"
Bruce: "This is not better. Stop trying to pretend this is better."
14K notes · View notes
ao3-shenanigans · 29 days ago
Text
Objectively speaking, the fanfic I’m reading is not good, but my goodness, it’s made my afternoon that much more enjoyable
10K notes · View notes
demonicsuffrage · 30 days ago
Text
Headcanon that when the batkids are mad at Bruce or just, mildly annoyed, they deliberately use last names that piss Bruce off, a lot.
Kidnappers over the phone: We have Richard Wayne in our custody, if you want to see him again-
Dick, mad after Bruce made him throw out the discowing suit, in a muffled voice: It's actually Richard Grayson-Kent, get it right
Bruce, on the verge of a heart attack: Chum Please
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Barista at Batburger: What would you like your coffee cup to say?
Tim, not mad, just mildly annoyed at the way Bruce did the reports last night: My name is Tim Jordan-Gardener-Cruz-Scott
Bruce, clutching his Jokerized fries so hard veins appear: You're grounded
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author, at a book signing event: And who should I address this to?
Jason, after Bruce had let the Joker live yet again: To Jason Dent, please
Bruce, standing in line next to him, whom Jason had brought along to pay for the signed copy: I should make Harvey pay child support
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Announcer: And the award goes to, Ms Cassandra Isley-Quinn!
Cass, mad because Bruce missed another one of her recitals, walking up to the stage:
Bruce:
Bruce, signing to her: You're killing me, you know that? You're killing your father
Harley, sitting next to Bruce along with Ivy: Yes! That's our daughter!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Duke, calling some shady Gotham lawyer right in front of Bruce after he lectured him a little too much about keeping up secret identities: Hi, how much to legally change my name to Duke Thomas-Queen?
Shady lawyer: About 50$
Duke: Got it. Hey Bruce can I borrow 50$?
Bruce:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Steph doesn't use the Wayne name anyway, but sometimes she uses it for Benefits™
Damian would much rather die than adopt the last name of anyone in the justice league or the batrouges or anyone except his very infamous lineages, because he doesn't want to associate with incompetent people
9K notes · View notes
robo-bozo7125 · 9 months ago
Text
i think eating one of these would fix my problems
Tumblr media
25K notes · View notes
junior-theabgshark · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
68K notes · View notes
gothamite-rambler · 18 days ago
Text
Duke Thomas gets added to the payroll
Bruce Wayne (seeing Duke walk past his office): Duke.
Duke backwards walked to Bruce’s office.
Duke: Sup?
Bruce: Did you check your bank account? The direct deposit should’ve hit.
Duke: The what? Oh you were serious about that?
Bruce: Of course, you’re not only my son, but you do work for me and you deserve an income.
Duke: Thanks dude, but I can’t take your money I work at the library.
Bruce: Duke, trust me. You deserve this. I do it for all my kids… except Tim.
Duke: Why not Tim?
Bruce: Long story… he owns part of my company, plus he- he definitely embezzled a lot of my funds before I noticed so him working at my company is his paycheck.
Duke (alarmed): That was him?!
Bruce: Yeah, but that’s not important currently. You enjoy your first payhcheck and I’m proud of you.
Duke: Thanks man.
Duke left the office, checking his phone as he walked to his room. He nearly dropped his phone seeing the four digits in his bank account that had five dollars in it three days ago.
Duke (shocked, happy): Three- Three thousand dollars?! Woooooooo! I’m eating good tonight! No wait, game stop here I come!
Duke ran out the house passing by Stephanie and Jason.
Duke: I can finally buy a PlayStation!
Jason: Wait until he finds out it’s a monthly payment.
Stephanie: I’ll tell him later. Want to go tell Tim about it first?
Jason: 100% yes.
10K notes · View notes
luca-is-a-pengu · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
The real reason why none of the bat-boys are allowed in the kitchen
11K notes · View notes
fangedjester · 2 months ago
Text
13K notes · View notes