#everlived: jezebel.

[soulmissed]

@everlived, ❄️ sc

he paws the scarf around his neck, wrapping and unwrapping and stalling. snow pelts window glass like miniature clouds. (swallow me up, earth. right. damn. now.)

his eyes, cedar brown, hound floor. “ broke a neighbor’s window. ” rogue snowball. “ didn’t wanna get caught, so i ran off. ” he coughs, too. in an effort to soften the incoming reproach.

[eurosleaz]

@everlived sent: i’ve been cultivating unkindness. i’ve been cultivating a lot of things — i’m a fertile field, it turns out — but unkindness is the most interesting. oohhh jezebel moment / prompt, accepting.

sadie is silent for a long moment, her lips pressed together in thought. there's a lot to take in and unpack with what jezebel says. she licks her bottom lip, a soft hum following. " i think you have to choose to be kind. it's hard, y'know? " [ right, like that's not an understatement or anything. ] her eyes slide to jezebel, something haunted in those dark blues of hers. " what makes unkindness so interesting? it's-- is it worth it? it doesn't seem like it is. trying to be kind's better. not that you've got to try to be kind. i like you the way that you are. " silence again.

" -- tell me what it's like, bel. does it hurt like i think it does? "

[soulmissed]

and just like that, his original tension dissolves. his forehead slants against her shoulder. boyhood, for him, emerges in these fleeting, blink-and-miss-it particles. (a juvenile romp within snow. a comforting hug.) he’s guilty, though. this truth endures. “ you can come along, but don’t use your money. i’m the one who busted their window. ”

it couldn’t be a fair resolution. jezebel, paying for his mistake. mistakes happen and mistakes require fixing. “ i should get the money, myself. already got some put away. ” and childhood means righting your wrongs. his expression hardens. it bears no impoliteness. he simply endeavors to sort the problem himself.

he breaks away, sniffling, arms folded. hoping for approval.

jezebel worries about auggie more than she's worried about nearly anything her whole life. it's an unfamiliar feeling, one she'd compare to prometheus as the birds feast upon his liver again and again. the world out there is a cruel, nasty place. she knows because she helps make it so - leaves children orphaned, rends flesh, tears down what others have spent their lives building up. she knows this because auggie has already seen it, too, this world's ugly face. despite herself, she refuses to let it snarl and snap at him any longer.

❝ relax. ❞ she says, one gloved hand taking his and squeezing gently.

oh, she loves him. his little voice, his shame at having broken a window. all the awful things she'd done at his age, the things she feels no remorse for - they drown in the overwhelming affection gripping her fluttering heart. dropping to her knees, her arms find his shoulders and she smiles as gently, as reassuringly as something like her can.

❝ we'll go over and apologize, i'll tell them i'll pay for the window to be fixed, that's all. accidents happen. ❞

[eurosleaz]

@everlived sent: ❛ I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary. ❜ - bel

sadie stretches out on the couch next to jezebel, her shoulders popping with the effort. she's got to stretch more-- sadie isn't as young as she used to be, even if she wants to fool herself into believing that. there's a hum as she ponders bel's statement, her hands lacing together over her stomach. her eyes close as she thinks.

for a moment, it looks as if she's sleeping (a miracle, especially for an insomniac).

" -- you say that like you don't occupy my thoughts in any case. " her words are slow, purposefully picked. " i think of you every waking moment. it would be hard for you to not be noticed, y'know. i'd notice if you weren't there. "

[eurosleaz]

@everlived sent: 8d belsadie / prompt, accepting.

jezebel is half-asleep in her lap, skin cooling against her touch. it's been very good for her, something nice and keen and oh, so lovely. sadie's fingers curl and brush through ashy blonde hair, a sign of love and closeness. these silent moments are nice to have (when there's a moment of peace, of course). her heart is soft, just as soft as her hands. it's lovely. her nails scratch against bel's scalp lightly.

there isn't any need to rush. right now, it's just the two of them in the world. sadie'd love it if it were true. she knows that when the sun comes up, things'll go back to normal and jezebel'll have to leave again and she doesn't want to think about that currently.

so. she won't.

sadie's head cocks to the side gently. " you wanna sleep here, baby? 's okay if you do. i promise i won't get up if i don't need to. " her own words are sleepy, a yawn bitten off. yeah. she'll make sure it sleeps comfortably.

and maybe, just maybe, sadie will be able to get some sleep too.