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bluerosefox · 1 year ago

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A Fair Warning

It was only a matter of time, and a long awaited and well deserved comeuppance, when Joker tried to hurt the wrong person or people.

Not everyone was going to play his games like 'Batsy' does. Not everyone will hesitate or let him live should he put his hands on someone to hurt them. Not everyone will believe Arkham could 'fix' him, he just needed more time and help.

No.

This time Joker bit off more than he could chew when he kidnapped the newly hired Arkham psychiatrist Jasmine Fenton (and he had plans, so many plans, for her. With her mixture of Harley's mind and her looks matching Gordon's daughter would sure to cause some chaos and pain in memories) and the girl's visiting sister Danielle 'Ellie' (and did he laugh when he noticed the 'Wayne' adoptive looks the girl had, on the fun he'll have, maybe he'll beat her the way he beat the second Robin just for funzie's, it'll no doubt upset Batman) from Jasmine's apartment.

He had plans to keep the Bats guessing where he was and by the time they reach him it'll be far to late for them to save either of the two girls, he had just sent the little video he taped to the Bats and the police to get the ball rolling...

So...

So why did a shiver run down his spine for the first time in years when they both looked unafraid (it was their eyes that made him shiver, a look of already dead yet somehow alive, something he never seen before. He's seen the light fade from people's eyes before yes, he's even laughed as he watch people desperately cling onto life only for it to fade into nothing as they took a final breath but never have he seen someone, something alive yet dead at the same time before. It, their eyes, held a natural yet unnatural sense as they stared at him, stared at everything that made him Joker and it unnerved him), honestly they looked very bored, and one of them (the youngest of the two, and the one with more of the look of death than life in their eyes) said with a chill tune in their tone.

"Last chance to back out of this Freakshows Reject. You wont like what'll be waiting for you."

The tone alone was enough to send another bone deep chill down Joker's spine.

But instead of listening to his natural instincts, the deep inkling of run blaring at him, Joker merely placed a grin on his face, ignoring the strain he felt from doing so, and said as nastily as he could in order to scare the two girls (BOTH OF THEM STILL LOOKED BORED WITH HIM?!?! Not even a twitch of fear!)

"OH? And pray tell what is awaiting little ol' me hum?"

His mocking question got a wide feral grin from the smaller girl, a grin with sharp teeth and iris eyes beginning to bleed slowly from sky blue to neon green with each second he stared at her and he barely stopped himself from jumping in his spot when Jasmine answered his question.

"Your end."

-x-x-

By the time the Bats get to the warehouse Joker had taken Dr. Jasmine 'Jazz' Fenton and Danielle 'Ellie' Fenton they were prepared for anything and everything to go wrong. As much as they held the tiniest bit of hope that the two young women were still okay they knew better than to really do, this was the Joker that had them after all.

They had manged to narrow down his location much quicker than normal when they gotten Joker's first video and his little 'game' he was setting the Bats on, most locations he gave them were going to be red herrings or traps to keep them busy and it would had worked. Batman and the others would had been searching for hours for even a hint of the clue of where the Joker and his hostages were actually being kept.

It was nearly, not really, a shame all of Joker's plans went to waste when Red Hood had stumbled onto something when scooping out Jasmine's apartment with Red Robin.

You see, not only were they looking for clues at first but something about the apartment Jasmine rented seemed off, Red Robin noticed it first and called in back up encase there was more to oldest Fenton than what they could dig up (oldest daughter of Dr's. Jackson and Madeline Fenton, grew up in a small Illinois town, straight A student and a goal to become a psychologist, has two younger siblings, etc etc) and their suspension raised up more when the moment Red Hood entered the apartment and seemed to freeze for a moment.

Red Hood couldn't really explain it but he said it felt like something was... strange. Not evil bad danger strange but it felt familiar? Like he was a kid again on the streets and had walked into someone else's territory but knew the person wouldn't be too much of a hardass about it as long as he didn't stur up trouble or disrespect. A kind of... as long as you don't fuck around you won't find out feeling.

It was because of this feeling that Jason had manged to stumble across something in the room, his instincts telling him there was more to it, and they had discovered a clunky old custom PDA hidden away in a false floorboard in the office room. Thankfully Red Robin, was there in person because the old thing apparently had a rather ingenious firewall to keep others (aka Hackers) OUT but it did nothing against someone who held the main thing.

But still it took Red Robin almost frying the damn thing to get to open up, turns out the ghost and star stickers on the PDA was a rather large hint of the pass code. Once Red Robin was in the PDA he noticed some rather interesting files, one of them labeled "Gremlin Tracking" with a tiny green blob with red eyes and a green outlined star as the icons.

Curiosity taking a hold on the most curious of the Bats he opened it up, hoping it would need another password, and watched as the screen split into two maps, one was... strange, there was no land marks or anything but the star icon seemed to be right in the middle of wherever it was and the only hint of anything was the name "baby brother" and the map labeled as IR.

The other one showed an above map of Gotham, before zooming into the city, heading towards some abandoned warehouses Red Robin knew of and stopped right at one. This was the green blob icon, the short abbreviation for Gotham in the corner of the map, and the name for the icon was 'baby sister'

Red Robin immediately got onto coms to tell the others of what apparently was a tracker for Jasmine's younger siblings. Some questioned why the young woman had trackers on her siblings, though some of the others snarked back that "oh didn't know keeping trackers on each other wasn't normal. Mind if I loose the one you got on me than?"

After a quick sweep into the warehouses camera feeds, the very few up that could be accessed, done by Oracle they quickly discovered that yes the tracking on the younger girl of the two, Danielle Fenton, was correct and that was where they and Joker were at.

Despite this, Batman decided that in order to make sure Joker didn't have suspicion that they already know his actual location he made sure to send a few of the others to the fake locations.

So here they were now, staking out the warehouse where they could see a few of the Jokers goons walking around and looking for a way into the building without alerting any of them. As they talked low into coms, Robin mentioning a possible way in for Red Robin by how small it was, Red Robin hissing back a "just because you got a growth spurt doesn't mean you can poke fun at my height you little-"

"Wait!" Red Hood suddenly hissed shouted, his tone startling the rest of them and they all turned their heads to him. Batman made a quick and harsh grunt as a way to say "report."

Under his helmet Jason's eyes were wide and wild. He could feel something, something huge was on the rise, like something was out of sight but the energy of it was felt.

And if Jason could feel it from his spot, the Jokers goons all felt the same thing from the way they all dropped their weapons, turned toward the warehouse and looked ready to bolt like scared animals.

Jason opened his mouth to explain but fell silent when the feeling suddenly popped. Whatever was causing the feeling was here and like the calm before the storm he could only watch as the first drop of rain fall.

The next thing they know, was the noise and the screaming.

It was inhuman, a mixture of noise and sounds to hard to explain. The closest they could explain was a thousand voices coming in all at once mixing with radio static that kept changing volume so only few words could be even hinted at, and the angry cawing of crows along with the flapping of their wings as they took flight. The noise was so bad that many who heard it nearly ripped their coms out, or covered their ears. Thankfully it only lasted a few seconds.

Then, the air itself shifted. It felt like the coldest of winter nights and bone chilling shivers ran down their bodies for a moment. The air was suddenly that sharp cold that hurt to breathe sometimes.

The goons surrounding the warehouse fled in fear. Many scrambling to get far, far away from whatever was happening. If they felt even a fraction of what Jason could feel, he could understand. He honestly felt like a small animal cornered by a predator and there was no escape.

Then just as suddenly as it happened, everything shifted again. The noise of Gotham returned to normal, cars honking, a stray cat hissing or a dog barking, police sirens in the distance, hissing steam from a nearby factory. The air went from winter cold to a chill mid winter harbor feel now.

Once everyone registered what had just happened and not wanting to waste anymore time they bolted towards the warehouse, cautious and alert in case they needed to fight. Batman went in first, quickly making his way to the area he knew Joker would be with the Fenton sisters and wondered just what the fuck was that? Did Joker do something? Was he messing with things outside of his usual MO?!

He walked into the room and stopped.

There was nothing.

The room was in fact the room Joker had used to record his first message to them, the layout was correct and the evidence of two people who had been tied up were still there as well, ropes that weren't cut sitting on them, a lone lamp light above shining down from above no doubt to emphasize the two girls were meant to be the 'stars' of Jokers latest show. Thing was, the two weren't there despite the fact Oracle swore she could see them a few mins ago from a camera set up in the room, she would later explain that she heard the noise as well and that all her tech had glitched hard.

The only other thing in the room was, sitting innocently on one of the chairs was a green sticky note and on a tiny pillow was a tiny sickly green orb with hints of purple, white, and red swirling in it.

A note they would later read the following message written on it after carefully examining it over.

'Joker learned not to touch what is mine to protect. Sorry not sorry, but hey one less killer clown and he was warned not my fault he didn't take it seriously... The massive amount of souls wanting to rip apart the Joker's soul into nothing was quite a sight to be honest.

They were so ruthless. Best not mess with the vengeful dead am I right?

PS. I left a tiny gift for Jason Todd aka Robin Two. It's the tiniest piece of Joker's soul left over after everyone else got done. He can finish it off since he's a reverent and all, and well they need their revenge filled in order to peacefully move on later or else they'll be stuck forever in a loop of madness and revenge. So yeah. Hope he likes the gift.'

D.P.'

It took Jason less than a second after those words were spoken out to reach for the orb, ignoring the cautious and alarmed cries of the others, and could feel deep, deep, deep in his own soul the absolute pure weeping joy as he threw the orb onto the floor, the bottom shattering thus it didn't roll away and stomped hard with his reinforced boots. Crushing the broken orb into more pieces and if one listened closely they could hear the pure screaming terror that came from it.

And Jason for the first time in years felt his rage finally leave him.

#danny phantom dc #danny phantom #danny fenton #dp x dc #crossover #blue rambles #writing ideas #random idea #dpxdc #Danny is like a cryptid in this one #is he the Ghost King? Or just a very very powerful ghost that can help stabilize other ghosts into a corporal form? idk you pick #The Bats return to base only to find all data on Jazz gone #even the report on her and Danielle being kidnapped are gone #even the Joker's recording is gone #like it never happened #if they try confronting her she only smiles and says she warned him or says 'Joker who?'#The only thing they have left that's proof is the sticky note and the PDA Tim still has #when he later looks at the history and data he noticed it move #for a few mins the tracker for 'baby brother' had moved from IR to Gotham right next to 'baby sister' before returning to IR with the other #this happened right on the dot of Jason warning them to wait #I love writing the 'Joker fucked around and found out' stories tbh #any mistakes I will fix later #I still need new glasses can barely see rn

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sexynetra · 1 year ago

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Y’all I went feral just over the screenshot, the full video has me actually dead on the floor 😭

#she’s literally perfect #and the people who replied saying this reminded them of rawnsyf Marcia are correct #this is literally her #like #picture this but she’s in Anetra’s taekwondo shirt :)#or post them getting together and she’s wearing one of Anetra’s hoodies???#or a sweatshirt for the school of music at their totally not nyu school :)#anyways for all y’all who said this you’re so right and also I love you I cried slightly at those comments #I can’t believe y’all think about my girl as much as I do #drag race #rpdr #rpdr 15 #drag race 15 #RuPaul’s drag race #RuPaul’s drag race 15 #Marcia #marcia x3 #marcia marcia marcia #also I recorded about 40 videos of her mean girls performance I’ll post them later

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somelazyassartist · 20 days ago

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Look at my cat she is going to be turned into stickers that you can put in your home on your fridge on your cereal boxes on your golden retriever wherever you want. AND she's gonna have little shiny hearts on her :] just need to wait for them to finish being made and arrive here I'm so excited.....

#for the record. do not put stickers on your dog that is a joke. you CAN put them on your cereal boxes but i don't know why one would want to #also the reason i made this is because i was making DnD sticker sheets for my friends of their OCs and had extra space left over #sooooooo silly kitty sticker sheet gets to go in my shop later because i um. simply want people to love her<3 #my beautiful stupid bastard <3 #Cat Steven #three eyed cats in my living room #technically. this is art. to me <3 #and she's my cat i can put her in my art tag if i want and nobody can stop me /silly

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dykevanny · 8 months ago

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had a really funny idea for an ask blog ft. Vanny and another plex employee oc,,

#Get this right. 2 pizzaplex employees accidentally get tumblr famous bc someone has been leaving weird graffiti everywhere and #Getting up to other shenanigans and sends asks abt it to this one like urban exploration blog. Who later gets an ask basically like #Hey I work at the plex?? This is some insider info only another employee would know????#The two anons are constantly back and forth in this persons inbox and are eventually assigned nicknames #‘Pix’ for the mystery vandalism employee because she shows up as nothing but weird pixels and glitches on cameras #The other employee is ‘Cam’ because they have been monitoring all this on the cameras #One day they get each others blogs and keep sending each other death threats and shit jokingly but one day pix warns cam not to go to a #Weird late staff meeting #The next night it is literally just the two of them and they think this is so funny they start a blog trying to uncover why everyone else #Just isn’t coming in. At first they are like well layoffs duhhhh #But then ppl send asks and messages like ‘hey have u seen this employee it’s my brother/friend/etc’ and they realize shit is actually going #On in here #One night cam is live-blogging their shift and sees a weird intruder in a costume with a knife and runs around eventually escaping and find #Pix lying at the bottom of a stairwell unconscious with a bloody nose later #Takes pix to the hospital. Only to be alone in the plex the next night and suddenly get a phone call saying that pix left the hospital. Bc #Pix left cam as the emergency contact because ‘she didn’t have anyone else’.#Cam has to survive the masked intruder #eventually starts recording everything but when the intruder gets closer the footage gets glitchier #Eventually there’s just one fuzzy image of the intruder with Roxy and Monty standing on either side and that’s the last we hear of cam. Nex #Post is pix saying hehe thanks for following our little story aha !! Bye now it’s over!! And that’s it…..heheheheh #Killer rab blog has become a little boring for me so… might start this soon….#I’d have to make like 2 blogs plus some fake dms too probably . Damn

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blueskittlesart · 2 years ago

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POST MORE SWORD OF FATE PLS IM BEGGING

i have very little in terms of actual art LMAO but i CAN explain the sword thing because i checked and i did in fact never make this plot point public. i struggled for a while with creating a villain for this story until i realized that. i put "sword" in the title of the game. of course it has to be about the fucking sword. DUH.

so i want SOF to deal very heavily with religion, specifically the way in which hyrule's religion forms post-sksw but pre-reincarnation. i've placed it on the timeline directly after sksw, making it the first actual reincarnation in hyrule. what this means is that there's no actual proof yet that the reincarnation thing is real and not just an insane bluff on demise's part, and so several key characters including link and zelda barely believe in hylia or demise at all when the story starts. my thought with this setting's version of ganon is that he's the polar opposite of the nonbelievers. The gerudo don't really exist as of now, but he DOES come from the desert region of hyrule--specifically, he was raised in a cultlike offshoot of the sheikah religion which interpreted the hylia/demise myth completely literally and believes that a doomsday is coming, heralded by the foretold return of demise. Because of this, he knows more about the cycle and how to set it in motion than basically any other character. Crucially, he and his people are some of the only ones at this point aware of the existence of the master sword.

ganon finds. a sword. a sword which he THINKS is the master sword. and this theory is only reinforced when the sword begins to speak to him about his destiny and the salvation of hyrule. unfortunately it is not the master sword and he ends up basically a pawn in the greater plans of what's left of demise & ghirahim within that sword, manipulated into attempting to revive demise and destroy the reincarnated hero and princess. he remains in denial until basically the very end of the final battle, completely convinced that he is the true savior of hyrule and LINK is the one being misled. ghirahim is a very good manipulator lol

#i know that the sword like dies with demise in sksw or whatever but this is my game and i can do whatever i want so ive decided it survives #because i need a plot device. ok. work with me here #asks #loz: sword of fate #anyway the religion thing is something that i really wanted to explore bc it fascinates me. bc obv in later cycles everyone believes #because they KNOW its true and have like. historical evidence of it. but what about the first few times it happened? post-sksw they had no #way of knowing if demise would make good on his promise or not. i can see belief vs nonbelief being a very strong dividing factor among #early hylians. its fascinating to me. lol #anyways zelda specifically fully believes that the hylia shit was made up by her great great grandparents or whatever as a power grab lmao #link is kinda like whatever. sure the goddess exists i guess ill pray to her sometimes but like did she actually found hyrule? probably not #and ganon and his people are HARDCORE believers. like to-the-letter. because of this they have one of the most historically accurate #accounts of hyrule's founding (which no one BELIEVES is accurate at this point. but it is) and have managed to hold onto records of both #the master sword and demise when society at large has basically either forgotten or decided to ignore them #wow. i forgot how fun sof is to write about. holy shit

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kaylazer · 8 months ago

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back on my bullshit (meeting men im in love with). Ben Schwartz is so kind and tall :-) I didn’t totally freeze like when I met the Jonas brothers but the selfies we took are blurry so 😔

(at least I have these bc I told sam to record the whole thing heheheh)

#also the show was great #I had to slap sam many times bc she was choking from laughter #ben schwartz #bro how did i forget my personal tag for ben #ben schwartz my beloved #me #also forgot me tag #editing tags after the fact to recount the entire experience #so we waited outside for about 10 minutes and I had no expectation of how long it usually takes for him to come out and take pictures #he comes out without a mask which is surprising to me and says ‘you guys wanna take some pictures?’#we all just kinda form a non sensical blob (there’s maybe like 10 ppl total) around him #Brandon Katie and Eugene hang back towards the stage door unsure if anyone wants to chat with them #I’m gushing over how tall and handsome Ben is to my sister who is ready to record our interaction once he gets to me #as I listen to him chatting with the other fans I can’t help but smile and say to my sibling ‘he’s so sweet’ every minute #he meets someone who has a cool sketchbook of the skits from the show that he wants to take a picture of #but they need to write their handle so he says he’ll talk with some others and get back to them #so he does and then later I see the girl ready to talk to him again off to the side #so I tell her ‘you can go ahead and finish talking to him”’ and she’s like ‘are you sure?’ and I’m like duh!#finally it’s my turn and he looks at me and says ‘hi I’m Ben’#yes Benjamin Joseph Schwartz I know #he sees me holding my phone and immediately sides steps to get into selfie mode as I ask him if he’ll sign my Jean Ralphio figure #he steps back to Be in front of me ‘yes of course!’#what insane media training he has #he says ‘I’ve seen this! this is the first one I’ve ever signed’#upon seeing the figure he says ‘it’s beautiful’ lol #he’s concerned that the sharpie I brought will not show up and I mention that it was probably a bad one to bring because it’s pastel #he signs and holds it up (as you can see in the first photo) to make sure it’s visible #he hands it back to me and I thank him and he says ‘do you want to take a picture?’#and I say ‘I would love to!’ and then I hold the Jean Ralphio figure and he looks to my sibling assuming she’s taking the picture #she’s like ‘no I’m just here for moral support!’

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stevethehairington · 2 years ago

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eddie 100% buys those like logs of raw cookie dough and then walks around the house eating it like a burrito

#eddie munson #stranger things #is this inspired by the fact that i literally just did exactly that? maybe it is maybe it isnt #also steve sees him doing it and is like wHAT are you DOING you HEATHEN i was going to make cookies with that!#youre not even supposed to est raw cookie dough! and eddie shrugs and goes i survived demon bats i can survive raw cookie dough #besides stevie name ONE person whos died from it. oh wait you CANT #steve splutters but like eddies not wrong lol he cant so he falls back on his Other tactic and goes think about the kids!!#theyre gonna start doing that too! its not good for them! and eddie barks out a laugh and goes babe who do you think i got it from #and in bursts max mayfield with her own cookie dough log burrito in hand #and she just nods at steve before accosting eddie with a so are you taking me to the record store today like you promised or not?#and steve silently has a conniption in the corner #(a week later eddie gets home from work to find STEVE with a whole TUB of raw cookie dough in his lap #a full spoon frozen halfway to his mouth with a deer in the headlights look on his face.#eddie just grins and says shove over and gimme that spoon)

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copper-dragon-in-disguise · 11 months ago

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*''once more, with feeling'', buffy the vampire slayer, season 6, episode 7.

**''face the raven'', new who, season 9, episode 10.

#hyperspecific poll #polls #hyperspecific polls #for the record #all of these are indeed true facts about me #i saw face the raven a couple weeks after it came out #i was like. 5 or 6 i think #my mom didnt know what happened in it and she was folding clothes and turned it on #and i remembered it until i saw her show up in early s8 when i was watching the whole show for the first time #(like. 8 or 9 years later)#and was like. ''ohhh so thats her name. she dies right?''#''with a ticking timebomb raven tattoo?''#and my mom was like #''what. why do you know this''#it was very fun #i have wanted to do one of these for months but i was scared #now people are doing them again so #honestly im worried some of these might be too spefific #originally the roman emperor one said 17 cause thats how far i can het #*get #but i figured that was too spefific #so its ten

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fireheartedpup · 6 months ago

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I WAS going to go to bed before 3 am for Father's day, but then I heard yelling outside and went to investigate.

This is the second time in a year I've been asked to help someone call 911 in my own parking lot.

#idk what was going on but a girl said he attacked her and she was a minor and he was just walking away while on the phone #and she asked if she could use my phone to call the police so i just said yes because the last time i didn't i felt so guilty #for not helping #i did not want to call the police at all but they needed help and i didn't know how else to help them #so the mom is grabbing for her phone in his hand and he's just trying to stay away from her #she and her daughter both grab onto him and almost pull him to the ground at one point #I'm already on the phone with 911 because she started the call so now i can't hang up #they drive off and I'm just like. do you want to tell them what's happening #he says she lies and is going to continue to lie so he just wants it on record #apparently she was throwing rocks?#we have so many rocks here.#so then he wanted me to be a witness because they don't take attacks seriously when a woman hurts a man #he gave the dispatcher the wrong address so we had to walk to the next complex #I'm like. idk what's going on. but this is what i saw.#last guy had a dude kicking his car and the guy later came back and smashed it with something #i actually got between them that time #i just wanted to go to bed.#this stuff never happens when I'm ready for it.#personal

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kandicon · 4 months ago

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Avatar of the Web who keeps getting mistaken for an avatar of the Stranger because nobody cares to understand the nuance between marionettes and mannequins.

#she starts. like. shoving spiders into the gaps of her ball joints just to prove a point.#actually wait I love this idea #this bitch has everyone tangled in her strings abd playing the part she wants them to. but no matter WHAT she does she can't get ppl to know #what the actual Fear she serves is unless she directly tells them (and then they don't always believe her).#She'll have a hunter quite literally caught in her web and being eaten by spiders and they'll still b like #''hmmmm idk I could have sworn I heard a calliope around here.'' and she'll be like ''That was my ominous organ music u BITCH''#What if she hangs out at festivals and raves and clubs and the like bc of how heavy they tend to b with addiction and hot beds for gossip #but everyone thinks she goes bc of the performance aspect/seeing everyone and knowing no one/getting lost in a crowd/unfamiliarity/etc.#because both the Stranger and the Web can thrive in those areas for completely different reasons #Also she always has a running tape recorder at music performances bc she thinks the Mother of Puppets would appreciate her edm <3 #It isn't particularly appreciated but as far as offerings go it's relatively sweet so the spiders let it slide #I cannot overstate how much this web avatar clashes with Annabelle. Oh they're polite enough and have the same goals but anyone who sees #them in a room together will immediately start bleeding from the eyes.#It's the pairing of an immaculate vintage gothic paired with neon mismatched ravewear.#Plus where Annabelle looks very alive and leans into the spider aspect the other avatar is a lifesized marionette with her #wooden body visible where her skin tone makeup has smeared #I picture this avatar as like. she wears the shortest and skimpiest clothing that can still be qualified as clothing n not underwear with #kandi to cover her ball joints.#She decorates her marionette strings in neon lights and dances with them so nobody notices a few of those are connected to her ''flesh''.#and she marks in many ways but esp by trading kandi. the connection formed by a kandi trade is far more literal in her case. if u have kandi #from her it is a mark for you to be tracted down later yo either be tormented or feasted upon (preferably both)

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jonathanbyersphd · 2 years ago

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Nancy kissed Jonathan's cheek knowing full well her boyfriend was in the next room. You really think a little miscommunication about college is gonna stop her from getting that man?

#like the girl's track record for staying mad is uh subpar at best #even if the time skip breaks them up it's going to be so unserious #like she's gonna take one looks at Jonathan and be making out less than 48 hours later #that's her history #stranger things #jancy #jonathan byers #nancy wheeler

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eggmeralda · 4 months ago

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thumbnail that says "staying in my band until I feel appreciated" and the video is 3 years long

#I'm the only girl and I'm also the bassist so I'm automatically the most forgotten member #if i was attractive I'd be the most important member bc I'd be A Girl Bassist but I'm not so I'm just the bassist who is a girl #and they post photos with me cropped out without realising #and I'm not even on the recordings it's the guitarist playing my parts #and the amount of times we've been on stage and they've started playing the next song before I've even finished tuning #and they in general never listen to my ideas and then a few months later someone thinks of the same thing and everyone's like wow #and i live the furthest away #and the only reason I'm still in the band is bc they're basically my only connection to uni left #and my only social interactions bc all my friends that live near me have full time jobs and are never free #and also bc i want at least one bit of physical or digital or audible proof that i was even in the band for 3 years #fuck even when the guitarist's sister drives the drummer to a gig he's like omg thank you soooo much really appreciate it #but when i had to go out of my way that one time to pick him up in the rain to bring him back to where i was and ruining all my #morning plans i didn't even get a weak thank you #but i'm the bassist and the girl so it's fine #anyway once we (if we ever) release a song with me actually playing on it i'll probably leave #except we've been a band for sort of 3 years depending on when you consider the beginning to be (it was 2021 anyway) and we still haven't #released anything bc none of them can make a decision #like neither can i usually but i'm alright at it in a group if everyone else is too indecisive #but again they won't ever listen to me #my sister works for a record label and she says our social media is awful (and she's right) and it's literally her industry she knows what #would work well and stuff. but i'd have to be the one to pass on the message and they wo #n't 3bebr ksjtnen toc me chjsjskwjfhwidjd #anywayyyy #ramble

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jaejoongs-nipple-piercing · 7 months ago

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I miss my grandma so much. I didn't cry over her as much as I thought I would, but I do still really miss her. Things wouldn't be so much worse for us if she was still here. I hate that I didn't spend more time with her, and that the only reason I didn't is because she didn't look like Grandma anymore. I know people with cancer go through lots of changes where their appearance is concerned, but I couldn't visit her in the hospital due to work and transportation issues, and then when she was still at her house I didn't go to visit because I really believed she would get better. I even texted her once, asking her to please get better because I didn't want to lose her and she said she would be better. As an adult I shouldn't have believed that but I had foolishly hoped that she was right, that she would be better soon and would kick cancer's butt. Her sister- my mom's deranged aunt- beat cancer at least twice, so why couldn't my grandma? Even during the end when we were all saying goodbye, I couldn't think of any good memories, I could only think of how mean and rude she was during the time we were living in her house with her. I only remembered the good, fun things from my childhood after.

Like, my mom having to take me over to my grandma's house for the whole day whenever she decided to clean the house because otherwise I would stand in the middle of the room telling my mom "no" and where things are supposed to be because even to this day I still hate changes. Even if it's just a minor change, like getting laid off or having an appliance break down because it affects all of us.

Losing grandma was much worse than when her husband- my mom's stepfather- passed. I did promise her both before and after her passing that I would get my drivers' license and my own vehicle and go visit her, and I'm still working on it but I hope to have my license before the end of next year.

I miss you so much, Grandma, but I hope you are cancer free now and you can have as many conversations with Uncle Edward and mom's real father as you want. I'm so sorry I didn't come and visit you more, I should have known that day in the hospital when you told me it was ok that I didn't come into your room that something was wrong because normally you would have said something like "no you just don't want to" because you never took no for an answer and I knew that the whole time growing up and being around you. I miss all the sleepovers, making raisins from grapes by letting them sit out in the sun, picking all those blackberries with you and then eating half of them on the short walk back into the house. Everything. I miss everything my siblings and I did with you when we were kids and I'm so mad that someone decided it was a good idea to take all my grandparents away.

#personal post #me and my grandma #I took photos of the originals with my phone #but I need to clear photos and it's been a year since she left so I thought this was fitting #I'm actually wearing her apron because she didn't make us our own until much later #I still have the ones she made and I'm going to keep them #everything I got from her I'm keeping #i just need to find a way to get my voicemails and call records from her and my mom restored to my phone so I can save them forever #grandma I miss you so much I wish you were still here #everyone is having such a hard time now without you #you were the glue that kept this family together

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