#she's like 'im rating u 2 stars'

[demonwebs]

lolth as a concept is so funny bc you cannot please her and you know you cannot please her and it still drives vhaal abs bonkers every time he rediscovers this fact during their monthly 'trance' meetings

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

March 28th

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1. Hi... Is there any wangxian fic in the potter world that you can recommend? I'm open to any fic, tags, dynamics etc.

Thanks in advance for answering my question. ☺️💕

are you asking for fics where characters make clay things or a Harry Potter fusion/crossover?

love potion no. 9 by ria_green (G, 2k, WangXian, Hogwarts, Oblivious WWX, Fluff and Humor, Amortentia, Patronus, Love Confessions, Fusion, POV Outsider, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions)

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2. hi do u hv outsider pov fics for wangxian like pls recommend all the ones u hv ty

the world is but a stage for the two of us by MandMandM (Not Rated, 10k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel, Established Relationship, Shameless WangXian)

what builds a home by Stratisphyre (T, 46k, WangXian, MY & WWX, Canon Divergence, Adopted WWX, POV Multiple, warning for JGS behaving exactly as expected, child endangerment, Brother Feels, Minor Character Death)

he sang about the stars by nenyanaryavilya (M, 29k, LXC & LWJ, WangXian, Brotherhood, Growing Up Together, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Canonical Character Death)

Su She Eats his Heart Out by KizuKatana (T, 16k, wangxian, modern, Guest-starring the belated but incendiary sexual awakening of LWJ, 3rd person pov, SS is hyperfixated on LWJ, LWJ does his best to pretend SS doesn't exist, WWX isn't even pretending he really doesn't notice SS exists, MM exists and is awesome, implied offscreen wangxian sex)

rerun from the outside by Eicas (T, 2k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time travel, Crack, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, JC POV)

🔒 born under unlucky stars by RoseThorne (M, 1k, JZX & MXY, JZX & QS, WN & WQ, WWX & WQ, WangXian, Canonical Character Death, Ghosts, Souls, Implied/Referenced Sex, Brotherly Love, Anger, Spells & Enchantments, MXY Deserves Better, Revenge, POV MXY)

love - all by vastlyunknown (M, 18k, WangXian, Modern AU, Tennis AU, Time jumps)

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3. Fo you have ploty fics? Fics where the romance or relationship part isn't much in the front just a background thing in the story. I'm looking for fics where plot is given more priority. No modern au please.

We Meet at the Thousandth Step by Admiranda, Rynne (T, 258k, wangxian, CSSR/WCZ, WIP, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, CSSR & WCZ Live, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Different First Meeting, Night Hunts, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Romance, Drama, Fluff, Strangers to married, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Everyone Lives AU, Developing Relationship, Minor Violence, Case Fic, Mystery, Flirting, WWX's Canon-Typical Flower Flirting, Arson, There Was Only One Bed, Getting Together, First Kiss, Meeting the Parents, Resolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, WWX Is a Good Big Brother, New Relationship Bliss, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Blood and Injury, Yiling siblings) Wei Ying & Lan Zhan's relationship develops as the story goes on (it hasn't been a huge focus yet) but it's plot-driven with case studies.

Bitter Plants Bearing Sweet Fruit by Kryal (T, 83k, wangxian, canon-typical horror elements, Worldbuilding, Desert, Misuse of Historic Setting, Original Character Death(s), Case Fic, aftermath of canon, Established Relationship, Nothing Explicit But Shameless Innuendo)

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4. Fo you have any fics where wwx has a personality like he has in twelve moons and a fortnight by Stiltonbasket ? People love making wwx shameless in their fics , but they make him shameless by today's time standards, which is pretty annoying and actually qi divination inducing, but in the novel wwx was shameless by the then time standards.

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5. hi an itmf request for fics similar to stolen fruit is the sweetest by mondengel. thank you so much for your hard work 🫡

A Baby Dragon’s Guide To Seducing Your Huli Jing by sweetlolixo (M, 102k, wangxian, fantasy au, dragon LWJ, fox WWX, younger LWJ, older WWX, fluff, humor, happy ending) Im not sure what theyre looking for in terms of similar but heres a few w a shameless Lan Zhan

Beautiful mess, a colourful wreck by covalentbonds (Not rated, 12k, wangxian, modern, rule 63, fluff & humor, mild smut, childhood friends, first meetings, evil vending machines)

a quest (for kisses) by kyoongs (G, 4k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Fluff, Humor, WWX being shameless WWX we love it, a little angst in the middle but squint and it's fluff again, kisses!! lots of kisses!!, wangxian are MARRIED and they have a SON)

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6. fic recs on wwx getting his old body back? thank uu

Wei Wuxian keeps / gets his OG body 

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7. favourite bottom wwx fics? thanks ❤️

Closer than my hands have been by Spodumene (E, 5k, wangxian, post-canon, established relationship, rough sex, dom/sub undertones, consensual non-con, hair-pulling, face-fucking, bondage, spanking, cock slapping, jealousy, top drop)

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8. Hey there! I was wondering if you had recs for fics similar to Harmony between a qin and se by Alaceron. Ta!

Hey! I was #8 on the March 28th ITMF. The recs were wonderful! To clarify since you asked, I was looking for anything in with similar flavour, I did not think historical au, het wangxian, or non cultivation au were the core themes 🤦‍♂️

I was going by the feel of it, which is a tricky way to find fics. Must say you were spot on with Stilton's WIP. Thanks again!

does op mean like, historical setting with no cultivation or like.... het!wangxian? Wwx being successfully scheming? Anyways, here's a few I THINK op might like

When the Hills Are All Flat, and the Rivers Run Dry by stiltonbasket (G, 5k, WIP, WangXian, Historical, Royalty, Female WWX, Emperor LWJ, Identity Shenanigans, Parents LWJ and WWX, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Humor, Love at First Sight, Happy Ending, Female LXC, Gender Changes)

The Lost Prince by hmmmmmmmm (E, 40k, WangXian, Royalty, Historical, No Powers, Bottom LWJ, Slow Burn, Prince WWX, Oral Sex)

❤️ nightingale Series by Moominmammashandbag (M, 62k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, LQY/JC, Pseudo-History, No power AU, Empires, Discussion Of Murder, aftermath of war, prisoner exchange, Grief/Mourning, LWJ POV, Angst, Emperor JZX, Imperial Advisor LWJ, widower LWJ, JYL is the Empress the world deserves, Happy Ending, POW WWX, Reunions, Fluff, Smut, Dysfunctional Family, Poetry, BAMF LWJ, emotional support goat, poetry as a weapon, Injury Recovery, Rehabilitation, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Body Image, Self-Esteem Issues, Married Life, Domestic Fluff, Childbirth)

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9. hii for itmf do you have any recs for fanfics from lan jingyi pov? could be with jingyi/jin ling but not necessarily just not with any other junior ship (smth like best friends forever by varnes)

tysm<;3 @r3n-vy

❤️ The One-Body Problem by metisket (T, 29k, LJY & WWX, LJY & LSZ, wangxian, possession, cohabitation, Mojo’s bookmark)

🔒 blue flies buzzing by RoseThorne (T, 2k, JL & LJY & OYZZ & LSZ, JC & WWX, wangxian, LSZ & WWX, LSZ & LWJ, LSZ & LXC, Gossip, Rumors, Mentioned Wen Remnants, Sect Leader Yao Bashing, JC & WWX Reconciliation, NHS is a Little Shit, POV LJY, POV Third Person, Threats, Justice, Cultivation Discussion Conferences, LWJ is LSZ’s Parent, LJY Being LJY, Podfic Welcome)

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10. Hi, i've seen how you help people find fanfictions and all, i was wondering if you can help me find a good Wangxian personality swap Au, if your up to it? Thank you

there is a fic where Lan Zhan was named Wei Wuxian, and Wei Ying was named Lan Zhan, which is the closed I've seen to a personality swap. I will look for it, but if anyone knows it, pls post the link! Also, there is a body swap fic, where they took on hints of each others personality. in that Wei Ying was hornier, and Lan Zhan was more ADHD coded , I'll have to look for that one too. I decided to comment in case I don't find any of these but someone else knows

Call Me By Your Name by DizziDreams (E, 52k, WangXian, Modern AU, America, University, Smut, Dubious Consent, Misunderstandings, Masturbation, Semi-Public Sex, Edging, names have been swapped, Mutual Pining, Pining while fucking) I think the first fic that was suggested for #10 (where lwj and wwx have each other's names) is the modern AU

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11. ur fav dad fics where wwx or lwj raises a-yuan? especially modern? thank uuu

my little love by mellowflicker (T, 54k, WangXian, Modern AU, Single Parent WWX, kindergarten teacher!lwj, Kid Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Pining)

The stuffed bunny, the beautiful nephew, and other gifts from Lan Qiren by deliciousblizzardshark (G, 8k, LQR & WWX, wangxian, Modern, Single Parent WWX, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Uncle Acquisition, Found Family, Fluff)

box your errors by mellowflicker (T, 42k, WangXian, Modern AU, single dad lwj, Domestic Fluff, Family Issues, Slow Burn, Kid Fic, let lwj have friends agenda, Hurt/Comfort, Pining)

Single Parent Lan Wangji / Single Parent Wei Wuxian

🧡 paint smears on sunny days by SnowshadowAO3 (E, 53k, WangXian, Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Everyone Is Alive, Modern AU, Dadji, Mutual Pining, Happy Ending, Brief Alcohol Mention, Masturbation, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Accidentally co-parenting with your son's art teacher, Fatherhood)

Where’s Your Emergency? by trippednfell (M, 64k, WangXian, 911 Dispatcher WWX, Single dad LWJ, Kid fic, Modern AU, D&D Games, Angst with a happy ending)

Come Around and Stay by trippednfell (M, 160k, WangXian, NieLan, Slow Burn, Kid Fic, Found Family, Modern AU, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, PTSD, Blood and Injury, Dissociation, Angst with a Happy Ending, Musicals, POV Alternating, Baking, Yunmeng reconciliation (eventually), Friend Zoning, Literal Sleeping Together, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks)

for you, andante by xuanxuanwo (ostentatiouslyrealistic) (T, 35k, WangXian, Modern AU, Music, Musicians, Pianist LWJ, Guitarist WWX, Kid Fic Coffee Shops, Bookstores, Existential Crisis, Unrelated JGY & QS, Friendship, Romance, Light Angst, Happy Ending)

💖 The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 71k, wangxian, modern, accidental baby acquisition, slow burn, pining, [Podfic of] The Simplest Way Forward by knight_tracer)

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12. heyyy admins! what are some of your favorite wwx and junior fics?

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13. ITMF white haired wwx!!

🔒归心似箭 | Longing to Go Home by dragongirlG (M, 7k, LSZ & WWX, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Aging, Aged WWX, Grief/Mourning, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Diaspora Feels (displacement), Dramatic Irony, Secret Identity, Pining, Brief Reference To Suicidal Thoughts, Hopeful Ending, [Podfic] 归心似箭 | Longing to Go Home by Koontyme)

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14. (ITMF) Thanks so much for all that you do! I've just finished rereading And Miles To Go Before I Sleep by glitterbombshell and I've got a hankering for more LWJ vs LXC or Lan comeuppance or even Lan bashing (I have checked that tag). I'm craving Lan angst (even LWJ as long as WWX ends up happy). Bonus if we see them suffer (vs LWJ just going nutso and killing everyone off screen). Thank you, thank you. 💕💕 @ck90

🔒💖 When has silence saved anyone? by Vrishchika (T, 6k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, post-canon, LXC critical, family feels, angry LWJ & LSZ, LXC gets scolded)

this blood in my mouth by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 3k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, Post-Canon, POV LXC)

~*~

15. hiii itmf idol x fan wangxian aus preferably idol!wwx but the opposite works as well @nalalie

All My Songs I Wrote to Find You by Winxhelina (T, 8k, wangxian, Social Media, Bullying, Immortal WangXian, Scheming NHS, Musicians, Explicit Language, Kissing, Making Out) a bit of a twist as they're immortals who got separated in this one

The Ties that Bind Us by Dyapaya (G, 10k, wangxian, JC & WWX, JYL/JZX, JC/NHS, Idols AU, idol WWX, fanboy LWJ, College/University, Modern, Obsessive Behavior, Misunderstandings, Twitter Fic, Stalker)

If I Can't Have You by Leffy (E, 47k, wangxian, Modern, Actors AU, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Slow Burn, Intercrural Sex, Frottage, Masturbation, Blow Jobs)

time of fate is passing; or: The Great and Lonely Fudanshi; or: How Lan Zhan Defeated Heterosexuality and Learned to Love Again by verseau (E, 9k, WangXian, Modern AU, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fandom Allusions & Cliches & References, Don't Take Seriously, Idol WWX, Fudanshi LWJ)

The Brightest Star In His Sky by Liebing (M, 5k, WangXian, Modern AU, Idol LWJ, past relationship, Break Up, Angst, Mutual Pining, Fluff, soft, Happy Ending, Background XiYao, idol MY, WWX POV, Background ChengQing, pregnant WQ, Making Up, concert setting, Song writer WWX, LSZ is an unseen matchmaker, Jealous WWX, Hand Jobs, Kissing, Love Confessions, Dominant LWJ, Soulmates)

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16. I just read “a grave is all too weak a thing by Reverie (cl410)“ and now I’m hungry for multi-chapter fics with a similar premise. Does anybody know of anymore fics where others (this one has Jin Ling’s parents & Wen Qing) were resurrected along with WWX? (Like this one has them in their og bodies and even clothes so I guess their resurrections followed Untamed rules) And if no one can find any, please use this as a prompt. (The ficlet is in a prompts playlist anyway) @omgnectarina

a bird in your teeth by Eevee (ChaosBitch) (E, 61k, JYL/XY, wangxian, Let XY have nice things, Let JYL get some good dick, (sorry JZX I know you did your best), Past JYL/JZX, Past JYL/MM, All of the sex in this fic is consensual, But one of the participants IS a fierce corpse, JYL POV, Minor Character Death, I feel like this fic turned out surprisingly soft, but XY still does some onscreen murders, Implied/Referenced Torture, Mention of JGS's canon behavior, Mentions of XY's canon behavior, Also Wangxian is not the main pairing, but they're definitely here and stupider in love than ever, Angst, past XY/JGY, Hopeful Ending) This has XY bringing JYL back as a fierce corpse & WWX getting resurrected earlier than in canon. Not sure if it quite fits the request, but it involves someone other than WWX being resurrected, so I'm throwing it in

the problem with authority by isabilightwood (M, 139k, WangXian, JYL/WQ, QS & JYL, Canon Divergence, Sacrifice Summon, only the summoner sticks around, slightly dark JYL, WQ lives, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chronic Pain, Mild Sexual Content, Switch Wangxian, WWX has to be resurrected & LWJ find out before they can interact, but there’s plenty of wangxian once they do, manipulative relationship) different summon followed by eventual wwx summon.

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17. Hello, I’ve never asked this blog something before but I believe this falls under the “In the Mood for a Fic” catagory?

Any fics where it shows Lan Zhan’s pov as he realizes that Wei Ying has returned (hearing him play Wangxian)? @xinilia

🔒The Price of Old Wishes by SoManyJacks (E, 67k, WangXian, Minor canon divergence, Angst, POV LWJ, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, semi-verbal!LWJ, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide) The events of the novel from LWJ's pov

🔒 a song of joy and regret by RoseThorne (G, <1k, wangxian, longing, grief/mourning, regret, crying, devotion, resurrection, dreams, angst, LWJ pov)

🔒 Season of Resurrection by Pyrrti (G, 1k, wangxian, pre-relationship, reunions, sky children of the light fusion, multiple POV, LSZ pov, LWJ pov, WWX pov)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[yippeeometer]

here are some ships i believe in with my life with the full intent of pss pss pssing my fellow swashbucklers into my comments :D

NH/VT/ME. hammy monty and maine. not only do i think they match each others freak i think they actively make it worse. theyre the definition of new england gothic not in the sense that theyre trying to haunt people but in that they own lighthouses and like to stand in big empty fields freaking out the locals. also they dont come seperately im afraid monty IS inside maine's sweater during ur meeting

WY/MT. oh my god my wife is a bitch and i love her. my wife is a bitch and shes mean to me and im thinking of throwing myself into a volcano to see if theres any nice rocks i can get her. wy has the kind of social anxiety where he hasn't seen anyone in 6 months bc hes afraid to leave the house but he has to be physically glued to montana to not commit violence.

UT/CO/NM/AZ. my four corners you are soooooooo precious to me i cant believe it. theyre the warmest cuddle pile u can imagine. theyre hatting each other w sticks. theyre a one star rated tribute act. theyre the couple fighting in the dairy isle. theyre having dangerous sex to the soundtrack of paddington 2. theyre everything.

PA/MA. theyre just serving toxic codependent loserhood. they trauma bonded once when they were 17 and thats it since. theyre sooooo disgustingly meant for each other that youre begging them to just split off from the country bc getting a room just isnt enough atp.

WA/OR. breaking news the two worst people you know have found each other and have only enhanced the things about them you hate. they hate to see two bitches serving cunt but unfortunately, these hags are fused together and they'll stay that way to spite you. they publicly divorce 8 billion times a week but ore is caught multiple times gossiping to his husband in morse code when phones are eventually banned from the table.

NY/NJ i can't explain this one anymore than its just the most down bad behavior youve ever seen subtley disguised by the age old excuse of 'its just satire'. mans staring at ur ass in the meeting talking ab 'oh its for the bit'. im just saying ik you two like to fight but does he really need to straddle you to get a punch in.

IL/NV okay yeah it started off as a joke but like. the two scariest little freaks trying to out mafia each other. nevada blushing kicking his feet as illi sends his fourth hitman of the week bc nv was flirting w everyone and their mama to get back at him. utah looks at him with a mixture of confusion and dispear.

[kings-paintbrush]

❗️Avengers Mission Ideas for you to use to your hearts content❗️

My all time favorite, an absolute classic in my opinion is the Deep Cover Mission! But my specific favorite is having to play house in deep cover! there’s so many different combinations, Sam being the Dad, Natasha being so short that Fury thinks she can pass as a child, it can just be so funny. Like in my DR, The Young Avengers have this mission (Kamala, Kate Bishop, Yelena, RiRi Williams, Wasp, America. Theres more but they’re added later) and, Kate and Kamala had been fighting for months over who’s team leader. So they’re naturally arguing over who’s gonna be the dad 😭 (it escalates to the point they’re trying to decide who looks better in a tie)

POWER SWAP!! Ok technically it’s not a mission but there are so many marvel comics villains it’s had to have happened ONCE. It could happen before or during a battle, some crazy guy swaps your powers around! Same thing with Body Swap which is basically the same thing. I just think it’d be funny if Tony swapped with Natasha (but Natasha had Thor’s body or something) And you’d all have to stop fumbling over yourselves and train to master your powers!!

also for your Marvel DR- GIVE YOURSELF YOUR OWN TEAM OF VILLAINS!! ITS ICONIC!! Spider-Man and the Sinister Six… uh… nobody else but like Spider-Man is iconic

on this note: you have your own Vigilante/Anti-Hero Ally! That is if you aren’t a vigilante already.

this one’s a lot more specific but there’s this Fourth Wall Breaking Villain (that I initially saw in X-Men 97) called Mojo! (Look him up his design is… something) and he’s obsessed with TV and ratings. Basically he sends you all through a bunch of different show and Movie Genres, trying to get you all to fight eachother or kill monsters! (And drama, that’s good for ratings, he’ll try to get under your skin) until you all, of course, eventually defeat him! If any of u are confused the X-men 90’s show episode he’s in is: Season 2 episode 11, MojoVision

another one stolen from the X-Men show: you and the avengers (also these apply to any team, I’ll add some space-y ones for the uhh Guardians shifters and more neighborhood ones too!) You all decide to go on a nice, normal vacation! Fun in the sun or a nice winter cabin! Even better, everyone is so friendly!… that would be it if they weren’t trying to kill you, a battle ensues, you reign victorious but uh- those swimsuits or skis sure did go to a waste :[

another semi deep cover but I listened to “Sway” by uh Micheal Buble I think and “Masquerade” by siouxxe sixxta. You’re like the key to the mission, playing as a preformor of some kind, you’re all at a party amongst criminals, and it’s all your cue. (Points if you keep singing or whatever while fighting like dance fight!!!)

A spacey one!!! You have to make a pitstop at a notoriously violent planet, known for its scary inhabitants. And… they’re literally the cutest guys ever. Like… those guys from Star Wars, The Ewoks!!! But they’re being hurt/hunted by a big scary alien thing so you defeat that and also earn a new ally!!

my personal favorite (I could write like 2 pages of headcanons off of this) as a team building exorcise/community support booster, you all have to babysit a class of kids for the day!! I hav SO MANY IDEAS FOR THIS. Like Peter Parker just getting trampled and bullied by a bunch of 6 year olds, Natasha would definitely get along with all the kids, if the Guardians were there… Drax would be so good with them like I’d Cry. Quill would get kicked in the balls (it’s inevitable) Gamora would be disgusted at the tiny things at first but warm up to a kid that reminds her of herself, Groot would be a playground and Rocket WILL be put into a dress. I feel like Thor would do something really dangerous for “fun” 😭 (IM A HUNDRED PERCENT WRITING A FIC ON THIS)

another idea!! A Carmen Sandiego type mission! Stealing from a museum and returning the artifacts back to their cultures! And just interfering heists and going against the government sometimes.

some Villains I think would be cool to fight: Modok, Big Wheel, MasterMind, Rat King and Beyonder (Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur), Morlun, she’s not a villain but imagine getting your ass beat by the Unbeatable Squirrel Girl… even avengers have to be humbled sometimes.

A Halloween Special! With everyone dressed up, it’s hard to tell who’s the villain! But when a big crime goes down, it’s Trick or Beat (that wasn’t funny I’m sorry 😞)

Some Quickfire ideas: You all get turned into Animals! You get sent to the ✨future✨ (or the past) and make allies and have to find your way back. Having to be a bodyguard for a celebrity. Fighting a villain who can clone themselves. Getting over your fear in a mission (fighting clowns or something like that).

ok ok… Istg I’ll stop with the deep cover missions BUT two more: You and your Comfort Character getting set up together and having to pretend to be a couple for a mission. (Bet it was Maria Hill who set you two up I love her sm)

Going deep cover into a cult, a few of you. And the weakest link starts falling for the cult’s tactics 😭😭 (Plot taken straight from MLP season 5 but I kinda love it tbh) I feel like uhh Peter or Kate bishop would be like “I dunno guys, it’s so sweet and everyone is sooo sweet!” @oliver-shifts @shiftingwithhale @florashifting @achilleslefttoe @romanoffshifting

I have so many more like character specific ones!! One I forgot was a Scooby-Doo type mystery on a boat with Bucky and Sam, they both get super scared and paranoid abt the local legends of a ghost pirate or lighthouse ghost, something like that, but you’re all heroes and have to brave thru it.

[daemon-in-my-head]

Sorry I'm back so soon but I'm rly not cool about this art piece.

A short 5 minute analysis of the picture from the Vinyl Set as I am slowly descending into madness:

Astarion, Karlach and Shart are looking directly at u

Bae'zel is starring off into space (valid)

Ketheric and Wyll are looking towards the 2 silhouettes in the middle

Orin is looking at the knife she's tryna lick

Gale and Gortash look in a rather weird direction, kinda like, if you look towards the companions nd shift ur head that's when Gortash would look at u and Gale mirrors that.

I. Am. Screaming. I can write about a 30k word essay about what any of these looks mean in 10 minutes at this rate.

Orin gives absolutely no flying fuck about anything but her goal. Wyll and Ketheric are stubbornly focused on the immediate goal. Lae'zel still here looking out for her people. Astarion, Shart and Karlach look at the person who's the only one that can save or doom em (neither of these fucks could've done it without ur help, remember?)

And Gortash and Gale???? The 2 Mastermind coded beaches looking at u as u turn towards the other side, observing the whole fucking picture, observing what choice you'll make???

IM FINE IM COOL IM-

[impending-day]

arknights ids i'd give the lcb sinners

im gonna break this post into sections to explain my reasoning. therefore im warning u now this post will be Long. if u like arknights and limbus ur in luck.

table of contents:

how the ids are obtained

what the ids are

extra notes

how the ids are obtained

so we know the hallways right. in the back of mephistopheles. i like to imagine that dante sees a little floaty thing and follows it until it leads to... the doctors office! like the arknights doctor. and the two can just Understand each other with the power of gacha game protagonists who are nonbinary and amnesiacs.

so naturally they trade gacha currency [1300 orundum to dante, 1600 lunacy to the doctor].

which leads to dantes orundum pull from mephis engine giving them black id bars instead of the usual brown, red, or gold. because originium is black wahoo. and also they have the star rarity rating instead of the 0s. because i said so.

so now theres arknights ids in limbus. wahoo

what the ids are

the moment youve all been waiting for. what the hell are these ids gonna be anyways?

yi sang: phantom. it works in my brain alright

faust: skadi. has a double-side that registers as skadi the corrupting heart, so like 2 ids in one. idk how itd work in game but idrc

don quixote: wild mane. you cannot tell me otherwise

ryoshu: flamebringer. it WORKS alright. it works.

meursault: executor. i know its not the right weapon type but i just gotta okay. its true and canon. also has the alter

hong lu: saga. tbh idk much abt hong lu and idrc abt him so im mostly going by weapon type

heathcliff: broca. mr mafia man. rargh

ishmael: irene. give her a gun

rodion: blaze. most of the operators i have written that r similar to her are 4stars but i dont wanna be mean

emil sinclair: specter. get that boy a pizza cutter. also has the two sides

outis: ch'en. was this one obvious. itd be funny if she didnt get the alter but for consistencys sake she can have it

gregor: młynar. tired newspaper uncle is now roach man. have fun

extra notes

this is all for fun. and also my own idea. so if u have an issue with it talk 2 the hand [/j feel free to comment if u have any ideas u wanna share but just know ive been bonkers crazy abt arknights for over 3 years dawg u aint talkin me out of some of these very easily]

also we do know that arknights ids are possible given that vergilius = amiya thanks to the april fools event. so do with that what you will.

[real-total-drama-takes]

whoever this cringe ass motherfucker trying to make me look like more of a pos than i am i will fucking find you my .44 make sure all your kids dont grow you horizontal bitch im in your house id rate you 2 stars but id have to go with 0 cant take just 1 star off cause your giant fucking ass is the mass of double exploding star motherfucking dick you wish you were me because my bars are sick while you cry and screan everytime i post the last conversation you had was with a strip club host she scammed you out your money you think you funny you dummy you have stage 4 chlamydia no girl will ever want u brah

𓂸

[godsofhumanity]

ARIADNE by JENNIFER SAINT | REVIEW

this was recommended to me by Anon. my motivation for reading it was that Anon said they were considering dropping it while only a third of the way through, which i thought sounded promising.

OVERVIEW: Ariadne, Princess of Crete, grows up greeting the dawn from her beautiful dancing floor and listening to her nursemaid's stories of gods and heroes. But beneath her golden palace echo the ever-present hoofbeats of her brother, the Minotaur, a monster who demands blood sacrifice. When Theseus, the Prince of Athens, arrives to vanquish the beast, Ariadne sees in his green eyes not a threat but an escape. Defying the gods, betraying her family and country, and risking everything for love, Ariadne helps Theseus kill the Minotaur. But will Ariadne's decision ensure her happy ending? And what of Phaedra, the beloved younger sister she leaves behind?

RATING: 8.7/10 i KNOW many of you disliked the book, and i'm surprised at myself, but i really enjoyed the book??? i could read it again! if you enjoy sweeter depictions of gods and heroes, this book is not for you.

AVAILABLE AT: pdf link here (google drive link) or u can spend money on purchasing a copy from a legitimate seller :-)

my review sort of developed unwittingly into an analysis of the text, so im sorry about that hahaha, but yeah. spoilers undercut!

THINGS I LIKED:

the writing style!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Saint's style of writing is nothing short of beautiful to me, i like the way she phrases things.. her writing is like smooth, dripping caramel.. it rolls off your tongue with a lovely fluidity that i really adore and it made me want to read more.

the imagery. this is related to Saint's writing style but i really liked the way she described settings and scenes... her metaphors and foreshadowing techniques were wonderful.

for example, there's this line about Asterion in Chapter 2 when we first learn of the Minotaur's true name, and since Asterion means "star", it makes the name sound very bright and hopeful. but Saint twists this around- she identifies Asterion's starry nature with the darkness that accompanies the stars.. she describes it as a "raging fire if you came too close" which is a great way of foreshadowing the future terror Asterion would come to be recognised as.

Ariadne's dancing. i know some of my mutuals weren't fans of Ariadne's constant dancing, and maybe dancing as a hobby for a girl feels like an outdated cliche, but let's be real, Ariadne isn't exactly in a society where she could be a STEM buff and the reader would believe it.. so even though yeah, it's a bit cringe, i don't hate it. i liked that Ariadne picks up her mother's hobby -- dancing is initially introduced as something Pasiphae loved to do, before she became docile and empty.

continuing on the dancing- i think that Ariadne inheriting Pasiphae's hobby was really important for setting Ariadne up as Pasiphae's successor. once Pasiphae becomes a crumbling shell of a woman following Asterion's birth, she essentially becomes a recluse and doesn't have any real further use to Minos-- but Minos' eldest child, Androgeos, is already dead and out of the picture, and the other brother (whose name is escaping me rn sorry haha) gets sent to live with his uncle, so now that Ariadne is the oldest, Minos' eyes are naturally on her to see how she can be used in his interest. and that's exactly where the story goes- Pasiphae takes a back seat, and Ariadne gets betrothed to Cinyras, etc. so, i do appreciate the dancing motif, i think it worked.

the darkness looming behind Theseus- another foreshadowing technique. even if you were unfamiliar with Theseus and Ariadne's myth, it was obvious that, handsome and lovely as Theseus appeared, something sinister was going to happen to Ariadne at Theseus' hands.. i like the change from the noble dolphin to the cunning shark imagery change in Chapter 6.. it makes you want to read on and see who exactly Theseus is.

the inclusion of Heracles. in my mind, Heracles is THE ultimate hero.. i picture him, as many do, to be the greatest of the greek heroes, so the image of him being a role model of sorts to Theseus works well, and also gives us more hints as to the kind of guy Theseus is. even in the myths, there are many parallels between Heracles and Theseus that other heroes can't really boast of-- quest-like adventures where they fight monster after monster, attempt challenges, abduct women, etc.

Medea and Theseus' relationship. i don't think i've ever seen any interaction between them in media before, and even though Medea is my babygirl and i love her to bits, i loved the way Theseus describes her- it makes her scary and evil, and from Theseus' perspective, this made perfect sense.

plot pacing was nice. not too fast, not too slow. i did think maybe Ariadne's deliberation about helping Theseus or not could have been expanded more (she did it rather quickly), but all in all, good pace.

Dionysus' debut in the book.. it was nice. he was still godly even though he was so human, which is exactly what Saint intended.

the handling of Pasiphae's love affair with the Cretan Bull. i don't think it's an easy thing to describe a woman being compelled with lust for a bull so much so that she would hide in a wooden mannequin of a cow that said bull could copulate with thereby, unwittingly, copulating with a woman without sounding absolutely bonkers. but i felt it was written really well.. the whole story of Pasiphae was so utterly sad and gloomy.. it was perfectly done. more than this, i love that Pasiphae actually doesn't abandon the Minotaur-- she mourns him, she feeds him.. it's so warped, but it made Pasiphae seem more than human, no human woman could go through all that and still nurture the child, but she does- after all, she is more than human- the blood of Helios runs in her veins.

the brutality. the tragedy. Ariadne is not a perfect heroine- sure, she's beautiful and kind, Theseus is enamoured with her, Dionysus himself marries her.. but she's not a mary-sue. she's naive, she's scared.. Phaedra is not naive, she makes up for Ariadne's flaws and yet still is so tortured.. she continues the cycle of tragedy that plagues her family, following her mother's perverse desires when she too attempts to embrace Hippolytus, her own step-son.

at first, i hated that Phaedra's infatuation with Hippolytus was not a curse of the gods but her own will-- but upon concluding the novel, i actually feel that this worked better... both sisters are so damaged, so tortured. of course they never get a happy ending. it sucks, but, i really liked how the narrative did not show bias to any character.

Dionysus' murdering the children of the Argive women.. i personally prefer stories where the gods are depicted as cruel and cold. i was worried at first when i read Dionysus' intro that he was too "perfect".. it bugged me that Theseus was made out to be so awful, but Dionysus, who in the myths does so many atrocious things himself, was excused.. but that's not how it ended up, and i really really liked that.

the absolute lack of happy endings. greek mythology is mostly tragedy, i like that the characters weren't sugar-coated. bad things happen to everyone; gods, heroes, mortals.

Hera's minor appearance at the side of Perseus. she's so 🥺

LOVED Perseus' depiction!!!!!!!!!!! he was perfect!

THINGS I LOVED AND HATED SIMULTANEOUSLY:

Theseus being reduced to an evil bastard. i think Theseus is easily one of the worst greek heroes ever, but i've always being attached to the idea that he only becomes the worst guy ever because he loses faith in the gods he adores because THEY abandon HIM first when they ask him to leave Ariadne behind for Dionysus. but of course, this doesn't happen in the novel, and Theseus actually leaves her off his own accord- i like the change, i know many people agree with this version, and i do like the idea he purposely misled Phaedra into meeting them at the wrong place.. and i also love the implication that Theseus INTENTIONALLY left the black sails up so that Aegeus would kill himself and Theseus would inherit the throne quicker.. i don't know if that's what Saint intended, but that was the implication to me, and i don't hate it. if Theseus is going to be a bastard in this book, he better be a wicked bastard.

THINGS I DISLIKED:

why would Hades feel delight at the idea of Hera, his sister with whom he shared the days of his youth inside their father's stomach with, being forced to share her golden halls with a mortal, a constant reminder of her failure to satisfy Zeus' carnal desires herself???????? this sort of just felt.. idk. it didn't make sense, there was no justification for it.

the vilification of Hera. Hera isn't even a minor character in the Theseus and Ariadne myth, but somehow, even in this story where she has no major role, she's being vilified??? how did Ariadne not see the parallels between her and Hera?? both women married/nearly married a man whom they trusted, but end up back-stabbing and leaving them for other women?!! why would Hera, of all the gods, be the one Saint chose to vilify?

relating to this-- when Ariadne falls pregnant, she pours libations for Eileithyia, and even Demeter, but not to Hera?? THE goddess of marriage, women, and family. it feels like Ariadne is inviting trouble on purpose!!!

there's a tendency in myth retellings for authors to try and cram in as many extra myth stories as possible.. and in this one, we had Medusa, Medea, Icarus, Ampelon, Scylla.. some were relevant, but tbh, i thought the whole thing with Daedalus and Icarus was rushed- i mean, out of nowhere Daedalus is out there with his wax wings. also, given the kind-hearted depiction of Daedalus that was introduced to us in the early chapters, i find it difficult to reconcile the image of that same Daedalus abandoning his son- just flying away as he watched Icarus plummet into the seas, not even trying to rescue him, not even considering dying with him. idk.. i thought the story was rushed.

[brucequeensteen]

starred trek as well….. any series you want to do :)))

HIIIII ok bcos im tired and brain fried ill just do tng cos its my favourite series :P i could do tos since its the one ive watched most recently but i do whatever I want forever .

favourite character: data forever and ever and ever and ever. it's usually hard to choose just one favourite character i always have 2 or 3 but with tng i know for sure it's data above all

second favourite: riker mein beloved and also deanna ough. And geordi ofc. and Q cos he's fucking stupid. and soren the one from the planet where they're all Gender neutral but she decides she's female after talking to Dr crusher idk I thought that was an interesting episode and soren really stuck with me as a character

least favourite character: i don't know there were no characters that stood out to me like I Dislike This Person greatly. not that I can think of. but ur answer did make me realise i don't like pulaski so I'll copy u and be lazy and say pulaski cos of course once again you're right as you are about everything

character I’m most like: im like if data's autism and Q's eccentricity were embedded into one person. i know that q and data are literally opposites but I contain multitudes and they're both me

favourite pairing: geordi and data, and I don't always mean romantically even though they're literally boyfriends . i just like them and all their interactions:3

least favourite pairing: im also copying u with geordi and hologram leah like ok thanks but I don't care and also 🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️

favourite moment: its so hard to choose like u said theres so manyyy good moments cos theyre such a fun crew and theres so many fun episodes. Im gonna say any moment of data and spot i would die for that cat. also this is so silly but the first one I thought of was this tiny bit in i think the gambit episode part 2 I think it's just this one scene where picard says "data escort riker to the brig" and data says "aye sir" and picard walks off and riker goes to leave but data grabs his arm and is like this way sir and rikers like he was joking you know that right. right?? Data? he was joking. and data just looks dead ahead and leads him to the brig and idk that bit is so silly but i love it I love data

rating out of 10: 10 out of 10 my favourite star trek series a formative part of my childhood and i love to think about it and should rewatch it someday

[anantaru]

it's ur fav and very tired anon 🤠 hru my cutie I hope ur good ur hydrated eating good food (EXTREMELY important) and enjoying SUMMERRRRRR NAAAAAAHHHHHHHH BC U KNOW IVE BEEN PLAYING GENSHIN FOR THE LONGEST TIME AND TELL ME Y IM ONLY NOW HAVING DREAMS ABT IT I've been deprived and I also might just be a cheater bc u would think that the dream would be abt kaeya. NO. it was abt that sexy fucking bastard kamisato ayato and it was scrumptious icl but I'm going insane over these fictional men 😔✊️ free me from the shackles of delusion fr but ayato looks delicious icl and his mole near his lips is so kissable. If u need me to elaborate on the dream though 😏😉 yk what's so weird these days all I can think about is getting railed i highkey think I might go and speedrun thru ur works on ao3 ALL OVER AGAIN but when I first found you yk I spent 3 days where I just read ur works till night after school ur acc legendary u keep the genshin smut reading community together ILL SAY IT AND ILL SAY IT WITH CHEST ill acc fight anyone who disagrees like I can by u some glasses perhaps to prove my point but maybe if I knock some sense into u that won't be necessary 🤩😝🤡😊 ill be ur bodyguard for free also another thing bc ik ur the biggest heizou lover I finally got him at c3 but I NEED HIM AT C6 SO BADLY LIKE ⁉️ he's so underrated it's acc so painful he's literally one punch man what more do u want ffs 🫠 anyways abt my lvl 90 kaeya build nah bc his build rn is looking a bit shitty icl he's at crit rate 33 and crit damage like 99 (HE COULD HAVE JUST BEEN 100 MAN ) with 2 p gladiators finale and 2 p blizzard strayer but I'm trying to give him 4p blizzard strayer but I've based him heavily on atk and it helps so so much I gave him aquila favonia as well which is rlly good cos of the physical damage bonus but i haven't rlly even had time to build him as much as I would like bc life man and ayato needs to be built too I've been trying to get weapons for the characters I have weapon banner this time is looking great 5 star wise for my team if I get the 5 star catalyst -> heizou and if I get 5 star claymore -> noelle bc she's a tank or maybe beidou anything else I'll still be very happy anyways HAPPY GENSHINING LETS HAVE A GOOD SUMMER MI AMOR AND IM SENDING U HUGE VIRTUAL KISSES AND HUGS ILY HAVE FUNN OKKK ADIOSSSS

BYEJWJQJQJQ I AM LAUGHING SO HARD OMG BAHQHHQHQHQ LOVE I HAVE MISSED YOU 😭😭😭😭😭🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷 I CANT THIS MADE MY ENTIRE DAY BETTER 💕💕🧚🏻‍♀️🧚🏻‍♀️ you‘re so sweet i‘m so happy to have you here with me and whenever i see you in my askbox i smile 🩷 thank you for being here

[loverslibraries]

stupid idiot is back w update no 2

HELLO BABA GRILL I HAVE ADVANCED SIGNIFICANTLY IN THIS BOOK IN THE LAST HOUR AND A HALF THAT I HAVE BEEN READING AND I HAVE THREE PREVAILING THOUGHTS:

AMELIE WEN ZHAO DID NOT GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THE WRITING QUALITY OF THE FIRST 45% OF THIS BOOK BECAUSE SHE KNEW SHE WAS GONNA SERVE RAMSONUSSY, LINUSSY, DARIUSUSSY AND ANAUSSY.

WHO WANTS TO BE THE LINN TO MY KAIS?

IS ANA PREGNANT????????????/????.////??/?/?

THEY ARE IN NO SPECIFIC ORDER. TRUTHFULLY IF I DIDN'T HAVE WORK TOMORROW AT 10AM I WOULD FINISH THIS TONIGHT BUT ALAS IF I WANT TO AVOID SCRIPTING A SU1C1D3 NOTE ON MY 15 BREAK I NEED TO GET THE PROPER AMOUNT OF SLEEP.

I DON'T KNOW IF I SAID THIS HERE BUT BASED OFF OF THE FIRST PART OF THIS BOOK ALONE, I WAS GOING TO RATE THIS BOOK ONE STAR. IT HAS REDEEMED ITSELF BACK TO THREE BASED OFF OF HOW GOOD THE WRITING HAS GOTTEN. @AMELIEWENZHAO PLEASE DON'T FUCK THIS UP. I WANT TO END THIS YEAR WITH A SOLID 3 STAR OR HIGHER. DON'T MAKE ME HATE YOU.

ANYWAYS THATS ALL FOR NOW. I'M GONNA PUT SUPERNATURAL ON LOW VOLUME AND STARE AT THE CEILING THINKING ABOUT THIS BOOK UNTIL I FALL ASLEEP AND DREAM. (THE LINKED TIKTOK IS WHAT MY DREAMS ARE LIKE DEADASS {I HAVE BEEN VERY UNHINGED THIS UPDATE GUYS IM SAWRI {UNLESS YOU LIKE IT BABA GRILL}])

IF I READ TOMORROW INSTEAD OF WALLOWING IN THE REALIZATION THAT I WORK FOR CHUMP CHANGE I WILL UPDATE OKAY LOVE U BYE

was going to do a reading thread update for crimson reign but i cant find any of my other reading threads except for a little life and thunderbird ??????

[noona96n]

Hey off topic maybe a bit weird questions but do you have favourite beyond evil fics?

Or fics in general for any fandom tbh I'm interested in your tastes but beyond evil is where I'm at rn and you like that show, so..

my absolute fav Beyond Evil fics that i implore u to read it 🥺👉👈

here is the deepest secret (everyone knows) WIP, NOT RATED

like pressing buttons E

consign me not to darkness G

a cherry-petal eye G

in my breath again T

prison visit M

devotion as a blood sport T

on the hook of your splendor E

other Beyond Evil fics that i also love

reeled in E

i don’t know much about gentleness, but i will protect you from now on. T

in the fields that day M (TAGS)

cat whisperer T

and i watch you breath as i stood bleeding T

i'll wait by the stairs for you, wrapped up in smoke T

my own soul's warning T

i carry my love for you like my teeth T

tempest. T

the social network

wend and repeat (until true) E

in the details M

read 73 between 76 the 85 lines T

doing it right E

MCU

blóð ok Íss: a Fairy Tale E (PAIRING)

eidolon M (PAIRING)

the act of creation will be your salvation M

she is not a terra-cotta warrior T

the supersoldier's amnesiac groom E

tin soldier T

every shade of you T

nirvana in fire

provenance M

catharsis G

no grave can hold my body down NOT RATED

a rose by any other name would smell as sweet M

you've got mail T

the origin of pearl T

your hair is time E

a suitable man T

bleach

seed E (TAGS)

always leaving NOT RATED

star wars

an inevitability E (TAGS)

mission reports G

perceptions G

currents E (PAIRING)

waking up besides you im a loaded gun E (TAGS)

eleven stars G

handpicked G

minute E (PAIRING+TAGS)

dreamfield E

even as E (PAIRING+TAGS)

to have and to hold E (TAGS)

naruto

anchor up to me love M

blessed T

change fills my time M

rest with me until a brighter day M

everyday is exactly the same T

fate & circumstances T

fill your mouth with berries E

shadows in the sand E

touch-starved T (PAIRING)

sunburned T (PAIRING)

got7

dear desperado, i dont wanna be alone T

coming home G

spades two E

we best love

ten, twenty, infinity (hold me) T

querencia E

bungou stray dogs

of days past T

o children (give my gun away when it's loaded) M

the mourning after M

brute E

the king eternal monarch

the stars are filming us for no one E

the oppa trap E

figure skating (RPF)

tête-à-tête G

ur shadow on the back of my hand G

sherlock

the imaginary friend G

misdialed T

reigen seliger geister NOT RATED (TAGS)

jujutsu kaisen

u hear the day beckoning T

countdown to success T

the care & feeding of T

instructions for self destruction T

the old guard

shoreline T

hannibal

phillia E (TAGS)

wolf & i E (TAGS)

the fault in my code E (TAGS)

my roommate is a detective

domesticity is intimacy earned G

star trek

into dust E

gravity falls

imprinting M (PAIRING)

mad maxy fury road

the allmother of the citadel T

howl's moving castle (ghibli movie)

hearts & their consumption T

the lord of the rings

the long road T

the gap between us NOT RATED

and miles to go before i sleep T

chernobyl (hbo)

they that do not deserve the light E

stray kids

kim & bang T

harry potter

and we mend our broken wings T

and in their triumph die, like fire & powder T

2 moons

doubt ur intentions T

eagle of the ninth

what is begotten T

haikyuu

on stranger tides T

brunch friends M

shining stars T

i have like 600 fics bookmarked as 'favorite', so, uh, sorry if there are too many, i just couldn't decide which one to rec esp when there's no specific fandom 😭✋

also, im fully aware that some fics are v disturbing but they're written so beautifully despite the subject matter but also my tolerance is fckn high as fck i read dead dove do not eat fics w/o batting an eyelash lmao

also also i was forced to wrap up here bcs i reached 100 links limit rip sorry about that... hope u enjoy this long and draw out list tho 😅 and if u want more, im happy to continue the list lol

[siarrawrites]

Rating Various Star Wars Curses

a guide w much real swearing, inspired by a midnight convo with @kckenobi​

-----------------

crink/crinking -- what the actual fuck is this supposed to be. Who came up with this??? We’re only a few letters away from ‘crinkled’ or even ‘tinkled’, god. No self respecting Space Adult is going to use this.---  -2/10 pls try again

sithspit-- a classic. can be found everywhere in fic. kind of sounds like you’re hissing, which the sith would probably appreciate actually. (do normal space ppl use this or is it just a jedi thing tho bc most star wars citizens dont seem to know abt the sith???) --- 9/10 very sssssssmooth

holy sith!-- again with the sith?? ok i guess. a pretty good alternative to ‘holy shit’ but lacks the pazzazz of sithspit which is 10x more fun to say ---6/10 reliable but uninspired

frizz/frizzled -- what is this, the magic school-bus? I love Ms. Frizzle with all my heart of course, which is why im disturbed by seeing her name used as an approximation of fucked (it kinda sounds like jizz too which I HATEE). I can maybe see it as a kiddie swear like frick though. ---3/10 what the frizz is this

dwang-- ...kind of strange but you know what I’ll accept it --5/10 haha dwang the rock johnson

e chu ta-- a solid fuck you. definitely sounds like a space language, and has a nice ring to it when said with passion. works for characters ages 9-->999, thank you kiddie anakin for this gem. --10/10, ‘a fine addition to my collection!!’

sleemo-- sounds like the word ‘sleazy’ and for once the real word association does it a favor. You hear this and just KNOW what kind of person it describes. ---8/10 honestly huttese curses can get it

farkled-- ...this is the name of a fucking dice game. also it sounds nasty                --0/10 get sued pls 

blast-- idk if this is actually a star wars curse or an irl thing, but it absolutely should be. you got BLASTers for cripes sake this shit writes itself -- 10/10 it just makes sense honey

son of a blaster-- ok we get it guns aren’t a thing in space. except they are. sob is great i guess but consider son of a slugthrower boom alliteration plus badass space guns lets go boys ---7/10 alliteration is key

kark/karking-- amazing. inspired. beautiful. I regularly forget this isn’t an actual thing and use it in everyday life. gotta love the hard consonants she is cathartic as kark to use. -- 50/10 she just hits different ok

kriff/kriffing-- basically ‘frick’. Actually sounds like a kid-ification of kark and I just really admire that about her. 10/10 all the cool initiates say kriff

bantha poodoo-- the one that started this whole discussion. listen, this is fine when you’re 9 year old anakin skywalker and say ‘yippee’ unironically but for anyone else this is just embarrassing -- 2/10 ok if you’re baby i guess

skrog/skrogging-- at first I was gonna rate this one low bc it sounds weird and is a synonym for fuck (which just ain’t it). but then I thought about it and realized that if you replace bantha poodoo with bantha skrog you actually have a somewhat decent word for space shit. --- 6/10 we done figured it out boys 

snark/snarking-- this is already a real word. why are you stealing actual live words out of the english dictionary sir that’s  i l l e g a l  --- 0/10 for plagiarism

druk-- a solid replacement for shit, and more serious than skrog (though bantha skrog sounds better than bantha druk imo). gotta love those consonants, and a ‘drukload’ of problems is a phrase that just works. 9/10 will always be there for you

krong-- I just... I dont... know? How i feel abt this. reminds me of king kong donkey kong AND kronk from emperors new groove. maybe thats my own brains fault but also where does this work?? ‘dont krong things up’ just use kark? ‘bantha krong’ just use skrog or druk. In conclusion? --4/10 ok but you can do better

schuta-- we’re branching out folks! finally, a twi’leki curse. she’s catchy and  very fun to say, but it does mean slut, and we respect women in this household. If you wanna make a very despicable character say it though it will help make us all want to beat ‘em up :) ---5/10 all women are QUEENS george

vape/vaping-- ... ill give u a pass bc I dont think vaping was a thing when this word was made, but this straight up doesn’t work in the blessed decade of 2020 ---1/10 you’re on thin fucking ice

shab/shabuir-- not to be confused w ‘shebs’ which is just mandalorian booty, this is mandalorian shit. Sounds like a real word, is mandalorian which automatically makes everything 10x more legit, and has that lovely insult variation! ---7/10 truly some shit I can get behind (heh)

vong-- we don’t mention the y**zhan v*ng in this household --- -∞/10 legends can get right tf outta here

shavit-- friends, I had to look this one up to make sure it wasn’t actually a real swear word. I think I’ve picked this one up through osmosis reading fic bc I’ve definitely used this in real life. that’s quality folks. --- 10000+/10, will unironically say this from now on

-------------

KC, I cried laughing at some of these I truly dont know where they come up with this stuff. 

there’s a lot more where these came from but i didnt feel like doing all of them, heres the link tho , knock yourselves out

[bratzkoo]

delivery! (i)

 credits to @monvante​​ for making this beautiful banner (and divider!) Author: bratzkoo | navi Pairing: pizza delivery guy! jungkook x reader x seokjin Genre: fluff, comedy (i think?), semi-angst Rating: PG-15 Word count: 1.5k Warnings/note: underage drinking, obsession with pizza, swearing, there has been a huge misunderstanding with who the reader is in love with, seokjin is oblivious with the readers feelings, jungkook being the other half of the busan torture device, i made some changes with their ages, pls tell me if there’s more warning i need to put. it’s a highschool! au but there will be an eventual time skip. Summary: You planned a grand gesture to confess to your long time crush (or as you like to call him: “the love of my life”) and things turned out to be horrible on your part. One, you accidentally confessed to the wrong person. Two, he accepted your confession. Three, your crush accepted someone else’s confession! aka you confessed to your pizza delivery guy and now he thinks the both of you are dating. delivery! ii  | requests are open | masterlist

“Hey, Chim.” You greeted your best friend and sat down next to him in the cafeteria. “Hello there--” Jimin stops when he sees how you look. “You look... how do I say this in the nicest way possible?” “Just say I look horrible, Chim.” You said as you put fries and chicken nuggets in your burger then taking a large bite, not caring if other people think it’s weird. “No, Y/N! You look, okay, you know what. You do look horrible, what happened to you?” Jimin held out his hand to feel your forehead, checking if you’re sick. “Stayed up all night planning my confession to Jin before he graduates and leaves me in this horrible hell hole with you.” “You’re my best friend in the whole wide world, too.” He sarcastically replies. “You think he’ll accept you if you confess to him looking like you got off from your role in the walking dead?” “Who’s confessing to who?” You smile when Sana--your recently new friend sits down in front of you. “Oh, Y/N is confessing to - mmh.” You shove fries in Jimin’s mouth to stop him from talking. He spits it out and glares at you. “You have someone you like, Y/N?” she asked. “Why didn’t I know that?” she puts her chin at the back of her hand, leaning in. “It’s Seokjin.” you said, you don’t notice how Sana stiffens and masks it with a bright smile. “That’s great, Y/N.” she says. She suddenly grabs your cheeks. “Why do you look so tired? You better get some rest.” “I will.” you say. she removes her hands to your face and starts to eat. “You’re too nice, Sana. I called her a zombie when I saw her.” Jimin says. “I personally th--” You shove chicken nuggets on his mouth to shut him up once again, instead of spitting it out he happily chewed it. You scan the whole cafeteria to check if he’s around, you know the love of your life Kim Seokjin. It’s easy to find him because he’s in the middle of everything, like the star that he is. His friends are bickering while he silently eats. He has always been calm when in public and prefers to let loose only with people that he’s comfortable with. Seokjin is your senior who has been your friend for a while now, he became close with you because of a competition the two of you joined for the school. You have grown close enough for you to have grown feelings for him. Seokjin suddenly met your eye, catching you staring at him (or ogling at him if you’re not Mr. Kim Oblivious Seokjin), he smiles and waves at you. You blush as you wave back. He tries to mouth something like “See you tonight.” You give him a thumbs up and then he goes back in eating his food. You sighed wondering why you fell in love with this dense guy in the first place. If he wasn’t even oblivious with your massive crush on him, you wouldn’t even plan this confession anyways. You stayed up all night preparing for this day to be perfect and you’ll be damned if your confession didn’t go as your plan. The confession will happen tonight. You hope he says yes and you don’t have to proceed to “plan: he doesn’t like me back” which is just eat 8 pints of ice cream while watching 27 dresses. Nevertheless, you hope for the best.

What you didn’t hope was Seokjin cancelling your plans. You asked him to call you if he’s on his way and you did receive a call, except he calls to tell you he couldn’t make it. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I can’t make pizza night, my friend has an emergency.” He says over the phone. You began to feel down, you wished you pretend you had an emergency too so he would just come in but you felt guilty for his friend who probably is hurt. “I understand, you go do your thing.” You say. “I’m truly sorry, I’ll make it up to you. Bye.” He drops the call in a hurry.  Now you’re in an empty house (courtesy of your parents leaving you to go visit your sister studying in Europe) filled with decorations.  You hold onto your phone and call Pizzeria’s Haven-- the only pizza place you trust-- to order 2 cheese supreme so you can mope in peace while stuffing yourself later. You grab your mom’s margarita on the fridge and began pouring out for yourself in a mug, your mom didn’t mind because “As long as you do it in the house, you’re drinking responsibly, you promise not to vomit on the carpet, and most importantly not telling your dad that the bottles labeled ‘herbal supplement’ are margarita in disguise... you can drink to your heart’s content.” You take a sip from the mug as you skim through your netflix account to find Catching Fire, a movie that will make you feel better every time you see shirtless Finnick Odair. Your pizza arrives and you open the door to find Jungkook holding 2 boxes of pizza with a smile on his face.  “Delivery!” He greets when he sees your face. “Y/N!” “Hey, Jungkook!” You greet back and grab the pizza he’s holding and give him the money- with an extra for his tip. “Want to stay and eat this with me?” You guess you were too lonely and kinda tipsy that you impulsively ask if he wants to stay to eat pizza with you.  Jungkook grows flustered, “I- I can’t, I have to take calls and deliver pizza.” He declines, you raise your eyebrow. “What bullshit did Jimin say to get off work today?” You ask, knowing your friend tends to leave Jungkook to work by himself during weekend night shift. If he’s not the son of the owner he’s long fired from his job by now. “He’s actually busy serving dine-in customers, hectic night. I really gotta run.” He explains as he walks towards his motorcycle. “Good luck on that!” You say as you close your door. You put the pizza boxes on top of the coffee table, opening it to grab three slices then putting them together before you take a bite.  You planned everything to be perfect and it turn out this way. You might as well go crazy, get drunk, and purge yourself with pizza.

You woke up with a very bad headache the following day, you apparently passed out in your living room with the empty bottle of your mom’s ‘herbal supplement’ laying on the floor with you. You checked your phone for the time but saw skeptic messages from an unknown number and from Jimin. Unknown number [2:00 am]: Y/N it’s me [2:02 am]: It’s yes... [2:03 am]: I’ll come see you at 2 pm Chimmy boy [2:10 am]: yow bitch, you’re dating jeon jungkook?! i thought you’re confessing to seokjin? [2:11 am]: you got some explaining to do What the hell? You groggily unlocked your phone to reply to Jimin and ignored the messages from the unknown number... for now. Y/N [11:12 am]: jwu what r u talking about? explain in detail, im vv hangover Chimmy boy [11:20 am]: bitch you’ve been drinking without me, how dare you. Y/N [11:23 am]: ugh shut up, come over so we can talk Chimmy boy [11:27 am]: i’ll come tonight, want to sleep more You drop your phone to the sofa and start to clean off your mess from last night when few of the memories did came back to you. “Hey, you. I like you...Fuck...I like you so much.”  “I invited you and If you could have seen the effort I made! I mean, I know you were busy but you could’ve gone here after you’re done?” “Instead of a grand gesture sort of confession, I’m confessing to you on the phone! On the phone!”  “You have my number... you can tell me your answer by then. Just say yes or no, I’ll be waiting.” Oh no, you confess to Seokjin when you were drunk. You regret not hiding your phone away from your stupid drunk self but it seems as he said yes. So what’s with Jimin telling me I’m dating Jungkook?  Seokjin said yes and he’s coming to your house at 2 pm. You scream in excitement and run towards your closet to find something cute when you open the door for him later. You could use a shower too, it feels like you sweated the alcohol you consumed last night. By the time it was 2:03 pm someone rang the doorbell, you shake in nervousness when you open the door that reveals Jungkook smiling and holding flowers. Your eyebrows furrow seeing him. He hands you the bouquet of flowers and cheerfully say, “Delivery!”

[dingyuxi]

z anon again also i agree w yamh!! it's always so refreshing to see no love triangles!!!! also DID YOU SEEEEEE YUMI'S CELLS 2 IS GETTING RELEASEDDDD IN JUNEEEEEEEE. like i was emo over why her being released late but to think that two of my most anticipated dramas are going to be airing the same time *melts* also plus and minus is the first taiwanese bl ive seen but im soooo in love w it!! i swear good bls keep coming out, maybe it's because i'm watching based on what i see you rb/create hehe. also sooo tru, kinnporsche is full of eye candy but i also enjoy the banter and action scenes. like i think it's my favorite thai drama overall so far, altho i'm not too exposed to thai media!! also thank u for validating that i dont need to finish it because it is... definitely not worth it imo. like the more i sit w the fact that they used the slur sm the more i'm like :/// not for me....also i don't mind xu kai but a mutual literally hates him so going into falling into your smile i was expecting like full blown terrible 발연기 but it wasn't bad at all kdgjnkjn. shooting stars is v mediocre which is a shame, and since i'm part black the problematic elements of the drama have caused me to drop it. the only reason i'll watch the drama r cameos since ik we're getting a find me in your memory cameo/reunion!!!!! i hated our blues tbh but i'm enjoying the highschoolers' plot and look forward to han jimin and kim woobin. i feel like han jimin can do no wrong, she could be a murderer for a role and i'd be like "ykno, maybe they deserved it..." also thank u!! i will add these to my watchlist for more dramas! this week and next are my wrapping up as well so it is hectic but then we have summer to relax!! at least i do since i'm not doing an internship this yr!! hang in there and i hope you receive the grades you desire!! also i've been seeing your gifsets for going to you at 493km/h and I LOVE THIS DRAMA SM!!! i think the two leads have great chem and are really underrated actors so hopefully the ratings get better :( also jo hanchul always delivers w whichever role he chooses!! ALSO since my last message i've been watching miss crow and mr lizard and i'm alr on ep 18.. IT'S SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!! - z

hiiii this is very late but here I am!! Finally responding 💕💕💕I SAW THE POSTERS YES. i admit I didn’t watch season one but jinyoung is lead this time so!! i might just have to watch now. what’s your other most anticipated drama? the BLs are really stepping up their game recently. it’s great to see. i can’t wait for to my star 2 to drop because we need that natural chemistry back in our screens again and hwang da seul beloved we can always trust her to deliver. I’ve still only gotten a chance to watch the first ep of plus and minus but!!! i really like their dynamic so I’ll probably just binge it eventually. “maybe it’s because I’m watching based on what you rb/create” 🥺🥺 now the pressure is on! hopefully I don’t lead you astray fjsks. LOLLL why does she hate xukai spill the tea. i don’t really have any opinion on him except he had that one set is photos and I was like oh? He’s kinda hot here. I’ll be honest I dropped shooting stars I watched the first episode and then never continued it just didn’t grab me enough I guess. oof yeah I can see how that would hit too close to home, I support you dropping it, you gotta do what’s best for you! i also dropped our blues lmfaoo it was too depressing and also the women keep getting the short end of the stick. i was watching mostly for the high schoolers too but even then the writers chose the messiest plot lines I swear. also the anti-abortion propaganda was going full force. LAP is cute, ngl I was getting a little annoyed at everyone being as*es to taeyang tho and the continuous circling around the big “secret” but at least this week we got some progression in the right direction! MISS CROW AND MR LIZRAD!! Ugh I loved the otp there sm (the ending was annoyingly rushed tho 😔 but other than that! loved them) I’ve been in the mood for crime/investigation dramas recently so that’s what I’ve been watching most recently. Congrats on finishing your semester and I hope you get to spend a really fun a relaxing summer vacation! You deserve it ^^

[axemetaphor]

augh i kept forgetting to post this because i kept wantgin to draw mroe for it but i really suck at emulating Animal Crossing Art Style so im just going to go on a rambling explanation about this under the cut but the basic concept is. they deserve a vacation. and whats more relaxing than animal crossing? probably several things but let me have this ok

id had a bunch of ideas for mroe drawings in this style but Clearly, i am not very good at it, and every time i sat down to Try Again it ended up shitty. this is from literally months ago by now lmao

my Basic Concept was just. take the 3 of them and dump them on an animal crossing island, cause while ive been sick ive been playing a lot of new horizons to try and stay stable, and my brain likes to mush together whatever 2-or-more things im invested in together all the time. here’s some bullet points!

-john really loves diving for sea critters and frequently pulls up those bigass lobsters and eels and shit, he’s got an unnatural knack for it. loves to startle the shit out of dave by just whipping an eel out of his pocket. no thats not an innuendo stop that-- -amy loves planting/watering the flowers but shes not like invested in getting All The Different Types (although that Would be neat) she’s just having fun building a large flower patch. it’s slowly overtaking the island. also dave likes to just kinda sit in the flower patch -speaking of dave he kind of doesnt do much, i think he’d like fishing with john and/or amy and maybe hed like digging up fossils but for the most part hes just chillin, as he deserves to be, -amy likes the DIY recipe stuff though and will frequently politely ask dave to go fetch stuff for her. this has led to most of the villagers/islanders/whateverthetermis, the animal citizens, to have their Main exposure to dave be him wandering around with an axe at 3am because amy’s out of hardwood -speaking of the animal citizens, because i just really like them as a concept, i have no solid concept of who-all would be on their island but whoever they are, john is “friends” with All of them (and by that i mean he says theyre all his friends; whether or not they find him obnoxious Varies,) and amy is genuine friends with most of them/has spoken to all of them at least, and dave rarely if ever speaks to them. hes not very social. most of the animals are a little scared of him until they Actually get to talk to him and then they realize hes just an awkward misanthropic bastard -also in case it wasnt clear id think the 3 of them would all be in one little cabin i mean you can upgrade the shit out of those so they could all feasibly have their own spaces. but also i like polyamory and id say they all 3 share a room because fight me they do itd be cute. also of course the decor of their cabin is absolutely bonkers like listen not only does animal crossing have some weird items but nearly any living space john inhabits most likely has some very strange decor in it !  -tbh actually i think john would do Most of the decor stuff cause like based on the way his house is described i think he’d go NUTS for animal crossing’s Theme Decor Shit i dont know i dont actually do a bunch of that but i sure do think he would! amy would help out esp since she likes the DIY stuff, and i think dave is just kind of ..... allowing this nonsense to happen. letting john be free. probably convincing him to not change the theme every day, maybe every week, if only because it’s a bit of a hassle to have everything Constantly Rearranged.  -hang on wait i just thought of the 3 of them wandering along the beach and picking up seashells and now im like emotional over it bro pls. lovely. -also i jsut realized if daves the guy who digs up fossils he definitely talks to blathers a lot and thats an extremely funny thing to contemplate. the dude who seems to not really liek talking to people and the chatterbox owl. fantastic. you know dave is probably too awkward to tell blathers he doesnt want to hear all thsoe archaeopteryx facts! (also tbh maybe dave would actually like learning stuff) -also. john catches bugs just to give them to blathers and watch him freak out just a little about it.  -john always ends up buying fake art from redd but it’s fine because he just puts it somewhere in or near their cabin. amy however has the uncanny good luck to somehow always find the real artworks! dave doesnt talk to redd, he doesnt really care. -this ones definitely projection because my animal crossing island is a mess (And I Like It That Way Thank U Very Much) but john definitely is the guy who will dump extra furniture at random spots on the island. too much shit in storage? don’t need that Harmonious Chair right now? holding it in ur pockets just because u dont know where else to put it? just dump it on the ground! uncannily, john fuckin Always remembers where he’s put that shit when he happens to need it again. however this does mean sometimes the animal citizens will just ... find a mysterious new chair in their front yard.  -i know that terraforming is a new thing in acnh but i havent done it yet because i dont care about the whole 3 stars rating thing like listen im jsut here to run around and fill the museum if i feel like it but mostly pick up pumpkins and hoard bells for no reason and let my island be taken over by wildflowers. if any of the 3 are into that tho its john or amy--john just for the hell of it, amy would actually like try to Make Stuff of it -their front yard (and back yard if their cabin is put somewhere to allow that) is full of unused furniture as well. and also sometimes random dropped fruits or something, if dave is already carrying a ton when he sees something to dig up. -i think im out of shit to say right now but i might reblog to add mroe so. yes. if youve read this far then holy shit youre dedicated or really bored or something but whatever your reason is i hope this was A Fun Read and if it gave you any ideas Please Tell Me my inbox is open im sick and still in quarantine and i crave human interaction from literally anyone who isnt my parents. thank u