#she's also got the CPTSD :)

[malkaleh]

I did think ‘oh maybe I’m not failing/behind in life compared to my peers maybe I’m actually kind of…like…[hands because I have lost words]???’ recently so there’s that.

[cripplecryptid]

Being an adult and understanding ur mothers mental health patterns is so wild. Like oh all of a sudden my entire life makes sense

All the times as a teen when I started to feel Bad and like i had to leave the house asap bc i felt like I was going insane at home. Yeah. I get it now

[miikaarinn]

i had a psychiatrist appt today and holy fuckingnhell never again im not doing this shit ever again

[timmydraker]

PART 2 OF CLONE BABY

Bruce: You need to tell the rest of the family, but mostly Dick.

Tim: why...?

Bruce, remembering how mad Dick got when he didn't tell him about Jason or literally any other kid: just trust me, it's not worth it

Tim: but I haven't told Kon yet *biggest pouty face ever made*

Bruce: Tim, he's still dead... isn't he?

Tim: I mean... for now.

Bruce:

Tim: FINE. Give her back to me then.

Bruce: ... five more minutes?

*Later:*

Dick: Hey guys, what was so important I had to get here so quick? Is everyone okay? Did someone... y'know?

Bruce: Opposite, actually.

Tim: I had a baby

Dick: you fucking what.

Tim: I had baby.

Tim: lil bubba

Tim: I made it myself :)

Tim, holding up his baby girl: see!

Dick, rapidly going through several emotions at once before letting out such a high pitched squeal that Clark Kent breaks a mug out of shock: A BABY!!!

Tim: a baby!

Bruce: a baby...

Damian, who had come out of his room as soon as he saw that Dick had gotten to the house via his trackers: a baby?

Tim: not for you, go away

Bruce: Tim.

Tim: what? She may have been a scientific miscalculation but she is mine and I will not risk her being stabbed by your miscalculation baby.

Damian: what did you just call me?!

Tim: you heard me!

The baby stirring and whining:

Tim: shhh, it's okay little one. Did Damian's shouting upset you? That's very mean of him, isn't it? It's okay, it's okay

Dick: omg im an uncle

Tim: yes you are!

Dick: and who's the mother?

Tim: 1 am.

Dick: oh... okay, then who's the dad?

Tim, in all seriousness: Kon.

Dick, naturally assuming Kon came back to life like people do all the time: oh, he's back?

Bruce, making a silencing motion:

Tim, trying not to cry: not yet...

Damian: I am confused, why does Drake have a child?

Bruce: he was trying to clone his dead best friend and accidentally mixed his DNA with one of the subjects and made a clone hybrid baby.

Dick: more like dead situationship but okay

Damian: oh, like my brother but an acciden

Bruce: your WHAT?

Tim: yeah! But she's going to grow up like a normal human/kryptonian clone baby and not in like a week.

Damian: very well, I will craft some training weapons for her so she can at least have a chance fitting into this family.

Tim: no the fuck you will not Tim: I mean fudge

Damian: she will also grow up without a father apparently.

Tim: oh like Slade is a better option? And also, so did you???

Damian: beside the point. This baby will be too much like its parents, you are better to let someone else raise her so she won't be a blubbering fool.

Tim: BLUBBERING FOOL?!

Dick: hold on, go back-

Bruce: so l don't have a second blood son?

Damian: and anyway, you can hardly be a n when you practically weren't raised at all, 1 other hand was raised by an exceptional woman-

Damian: and anyway, you can hardly be a mother when you practically weren't raised at all, I on the other hand was raised by an exceptional woman-

Tim: oh HELL no

Tim: first of all, my parents have nothing to do with how I myself will parent! I will be everything in wanted to have and I will not let my baby girl feel unloved for a single second of her life, thank you very much.

Tim: secondly, you're saying that Taliah is a good role model for parenting? When was the last time you spoke to her that didn't involve her using your or Bruce for your granddaddy? Huh?

Damian: ...

Tim: that's what I thought.

Bruce: maybe we should calm-

Tim: and anyway, now that I'm a mother I understand a lot more and I'm not letting you raise my kid because you are a kid, Damian. I know your almost fifteen but that doesn't change the fact that you have Child Developmental Syndrome as well as severe CPTSD and deserve to be carefree and not hold as many responsibilities as some people, *glares at Bruce* seem to think is okay!

Tim: so, no, you can't take my baby but you can be in her life because while I still kind of hate you and think you should suffer for trying to kill me and cutting my line, I can truely see now that you are a baby yourself.

Tim: now, who is going to help me pick out a paint for the nursery l'm making at my apartment?

Damian: ...

Bruce: ...

Dick, who has been slowly inching forward to try hold the baby: ...

Damian, still seething but also a little... honoured?: may I suggest the colour China Rose?

It will go well with the rest of your apartment.

Tim, smiling happily and rocking his baby: good idea!

Tim: Dick, you can hold her while I find Alfred.

Dick: oh thank god, gimme, gimme, gimme, oh hi baby!!! Oh, just look at those chubby wittle cheekies~! Aren't you the most precious wittle thing? Yes you are! You are! Awww!!

Bruce: I forgot to ask, do you have a name?

Tim: oh yeah... that's a thing

Dick and Bruce, integrally: *He is not going to be able to do this alone.*

ーーーーー

QUESTION: what should the baby be called?????

Also wonder how long it will take to end up on

TikTok lol

[deantfwinchester]

Care in Cartography

Pairing: No-Outbreak!AU, Joel x Teacher!Reader, same timeline - established relationship, marriage

*This one is set post-wedding but pre-pregnancies. I’ll place it chronologically in the masterlist, but it truly can be read as a standalone like all the others.*

Summary: As your therapy sessions get more intense, you start to experience physical symptoms of trauma processing - in this case, migraines.

Warnings: angst, fluff, mental illness, trauma processing, vague discussion of past abuse but no specifics. (Reader is still pretty blank-slatey, but has a history of trauma prior to meeting Joel)

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: Okay divas, two years later the continuation of “A Simple Request” is in the works. This self-indulgent, very self-insert-y nonsense is me taking a break from my much more well-crafted story.

Maybe i’ll post a WIP of the third part of ASR soon if anyone’s interested? As good-faith promise that I’m actually working on it? lol. y’all enjoy my wayyy too personal word vomit here 🫶

_________________________________________________

The migraines are new. You’re not sure when they started, but it certainly took you a long time to figure out what they were. You’d grown accustomed to headaches, but these were different. A pain that started in your brain stem and grew up the side and back until you were wading through the world in a pulsating helmet of pain. Often you’d wake up with them, or they’d settle in just after therapy, later that night.

When they wouldn’t respond to your regular Advil or Tylenol, you tried everything: wearing your blue light glassed all damn day, mindfulness at your desk during the brief silence of your empty classroom, drinking so much water you had to pee damn near once a class period, but no luck. With no discernible cause, at a certain point you just got fucking curious - could it be related to the somatic stuff in therapy? You know the body stuff is fairly new but incredibly integral, and you’ve also done enough research to know symptoms can appear that feel super disjointed. Fuck.

You do some googling and it starts to make sense. That CPTSD subreddit reads your mind like usual, and sure enough, other people have had similar experiences. The real trouble with these is that they’re getting too consistent to hide from Joel. It’s becoming more and more difficult to brush off or distract him when they start to appear. When more weeks pass and the headaches get more intense and consistent, your ability to power through them wanes. Coupled with the exhaustion from the day, your Thursday nights become a wash. You have no choice but to tell your husband what’s going on.

Joel knows about your past, that’s not what worries you. He knows about the difficulties you’ve endured with your mental health, of course the ones you still suffer, and the early experiences that put you in the weekly therapy you’ve been in since before you met. Moreover, he knows why you’ve committed so hard to getting deeper these past few months. You two have talked about having more kids, about wanting a baby. You’ve talked it out with Sarah too, making sure she’s comfortable and securely aware that she means the entire world to the both of you. She’s excited to be a big sister at this point, and y’all can hardly wait. But there’s work you need to do first, and you told Joel as much.

At first he insisted the way you are with Sarah is evidence you’re more than ready to become a mother for the second time, but you know too well what unhealed wounds can do between mother and child. You explained how they can pass from mother to child, these unhealed parts. You tell Joel you won’t get pregnant without doing a good bit of the work first. You know the journey is lifelong, but your body has to be yours and yours alone while you take on the physical toll of this early healing.

Joel understands you, and admires the dedication you have to your little family. He may not have the words for it, but damn if he isn’t impressed and grateful for the mission you’re on to sever the cycle you were born into. If it’s something you need, he wants you to do it. He made it more than clear that he’d be there, supporting you, every step of the way.

While he doesn’t fully understand it, he isn’t surprised when you tell him what’s happening with the migraines. That they’re probably gonna get worse before they get better while you release and re-experience traumas stored in your mind and body over the next few months. He expresses worry over this price you’re paying, but is assuaged when you ensure it’s better for you in the long run. He believes you, and acknowledges you’re doing it for more than just you. And that he appreciates it.

When Joel comes home one Thursday night to find you curled up, room dark and blinds closed, space washed in an uncharacteristic silence, he knows what’s going on. Gently as can be, he just sidles up next to you and brushes your hair back from your face, half-squished into the pillow. When he lays the back of his hand against your forehead, checking your temperature just in case, your eyes slide open and he knows damn well what he’s dealing with. He lets out an almost-silent “Hey darlin’. Let’s get you settled, hm?” before setting about doing what he can to care for you.

Joel gets the ice packs, recently-acquired migraine-specific meds in case you forgot them, refills your Emotional Support Water Bottle with fresh, cold water, some source of caffeine, and anything else he can think of. He’ll handle dinner too, of course — weekly schedule be damned.

Joel’s muttering nonsensical words of comfort while lying next to you when you speak for the first time:

“We really oughta switch thursday nights out at this point.” Though your words are somewhat muffled into the pillow, he can make out enough to know you’re referring to your weekly dinner schedule — you’re Tuesday & Thursdays, Joel’s Monday, Wednesday, and grilling on Sundays. You take most summer nights because it just makes sense, and Fridays and Saturdays are take-out, date nights, or social events, reliably.

“What makes you say that, darlin’?” he asks, and in the deep blue-gray of the room you can just make out his strong brow furrowed in confusion. You lift your head and turn just enough to be sure Joel can hear you clearly, though your voices both remain hushed.

“You’re always so sweet, and you know I appreciate it, but don’t you get tired of this Joel?” you ask, an injured desperation plagued your voice and you look at him — even in the dark he can see how wide your eyes are, glistening with a mixture of guilt and pain. “Week after week, you get home from working all day, and I’m just fucking laying here in the dark? Can’t do shit, I’m terrible fucking company, not even making dinner on my night” your voice is breaking, and his face does the same, crumpling at your distressed tone and undercurrent of fear and helplessness in your troubled words.

“Sweetheart, what the hell gave you that idea? Never in my life have I been tired of taking care of you. And I never will be,” he says in a gentle whisper, stroking your hair lightly, testing the waters for comforting touch at the locus of your pain.

“But being this fucking useless, on the regular?! You can’t tell me it doesn’t get old,” you rebut, and he knows where this is coming from. He’s seen this fear in you before, and he knows it’s a remnant of whatever you talked about in therapy today. The dregs of old moments of abuse, feeling burdensome at the hands of people you trusted, had no choice but to trust. He used to get angry thinking about it, about the people who treated you that way. Now he’s just grateful you’re here, laying in front of him right now, stronger and more resilient than any goddamn soul he’s ever seen.

“Baby, the only thing that bothers me about this newest ritual of ours is seeing you in pain. You know I know it ain’t your fault. You can’t help hurting, honey. And don’t you dare think I don’t know it’s because you’re workin so hard, sweetheart,” Joel pleads, his own voice beginning to crack now, thinking of everything you’re having to do to keep yourself safe. Everything you’re doing to prepare yourself to expand your family, the sacrifices you’re making for the child you’ll have together before they’re even on the way. Your eyes fall, shying away from his own, and he pulls your gaze back up to meet his own.

“I know you need this - all of this work - for you and for us. I hate seeing you hurting so much, sweet girl, but knowing you dealing with this now will keep you safe, keep you here with me? I’ll lay right here in the dark with you, shoveling cheerios in every damn week for the rest of my life, if it’ll help you, baby” he’s smiling at you now, but his eyes are wet with empathy and concern. His voice is rougher now, like he’s talking through tears he won’t let slip - like holding strength for the both of you is paramount in this moment.

Joel rubs your back with a pressure you recognize. He wants you to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he’s here, in every possible way. You reach out to touch his cheek, applying a pressure of your own. One that tells him to let the emotion flow if he needs to, and you know he’s recognized it when you feel hot tears slowly slide into the crevice between your palm and his stubbled cheek, before swiping a thumb beneath his eye, collecting the wet traces of love he can’t contain onto the pad of your finger.

You’re crying now too, and he shushes you in his thickened voice, knowing you need to keep the fluid. “C’mon now, baby. I’ll never tell you not to cry when you need it, but tears’ll only make your head feel worse. Gotta keep you hydrated.” He grins and you release a wet chuckle of your own before scooting closer to bury your head in his neck, tucked tight under his chin. His arm tightens around your back like he wants you melted into his chest, like he knows he can keep you safe if he can tuck you right in next to his other beating heart.

He’s rocking you both ever so lightly now. Not enough to aggravate the pain in your head, but enough to will you to sleep through it. When you wake in a few hours he’ll make sure you eat something, and once you sleep again you’ll wake up Friday morning right as rain. This isn't uncharted territory for him, and he’ll play cartographer for as long as you need. Lord knows you’ve mapped miles and miles since joining their little family a few years back. The two of you will scribe new paths in graphite back and forth and together, erasing and replotting whenever needed, for the rest of your days. As long as you’ll let him.

[chronicallycouchbound]

I feel like people often don’t talk about the experiences of disabled people who have caretakers because so much of the conversation is about us—not including us.

I receive in home care for 30 hours a week (+ 4 hours/week for respite). This is paid for by Medicaid (state insurance). Outside of paid hours, my primary caretakers care for me unpaid and assist me most of the time. I’m very rarely left alone due to my high support needs. Often, when I am left alone, I am completely bedridden or at minimum housebound. I have frequent emergency life threatening health problems, falls, and serious injuries even with support in place, and these things significantly increase when I’m on my own.

I’m extremely lucky that my paid caretakers are my partner, my sister (the only family member I have regular contact with, I’m estranged from the rest of my immediate family and most of my extended family) and my best friend.

I used to have agency staffing which was horrible for me and borderline traumatic. At several points, before doing the self directed care option (which allows me to choose my own staff, hire and train them myself and dictate hours for them), I opted to not have any staffing. I was regularly in the emergency room. I can’t drive, so I was having to walk and if I was lucky enough to be able to take the bus on occasion or get a ride from a Facebook acquaintance, they were few and far in between. I don’t have family support, and even my sister who is supportive wasn’t living in the state at the time and doesn’t have a car most of the time.

And before I could even choose which staffing option, even though medically it had been deemed essential for me to have in home care, even though my insurance covered it, I had to wait several years (I was 18 when I was approved) until I was 21 to qualify to start. The reason why: I was legally an “adult disabled child” because of my high support needs (which is funny because I STILL don’t have SSI at age 24) and thus legally unable to consent to my own care plan. I needed a blood relative to consent, and that same blood relative (who had to have proof of such!) couldn’t care for me. At the time, my sister was the only person who could’ve been my caregiver and also she is the only verifiable blood relative I have contact with for safety reasons, and my only relative on this side of the USA.

The first business day after my 21st birthday I immediately got things set up to get in home care.

This is out of date, I get assistance with more than just these highlighted ADL (activities of daily living) tasks now.

In short: my day-to-day life is entirely dependent on others.

And there’s power imbalances that exist between me and my caregivers, even with my current caregivers being amazing and anti-ableist. They will always exist. We talk about the power dynamics of me being dependent on them for my survival, and how heavy that weight can be for each of us.

Having caregivers often means that accessibility is extra difficult— I’ve been told straight up multiple times that I can’t have assistance from my caregivers to help me change in a changing room when we’re out shopping. That they can’t go into the bathroom with me, that they can’t help me get un/dressed during appointments, that they can’t come into spaces with me.

I’ve been denied access to psychiatric care because I can’t do my daily living tasks (ADLs- the highlighted items) independently. And when I’m in a hospital or emergency room, I can’t have my in home workers be paid to care for me, there’s an expectation that the nursing staff at the hospital will do it. Even though my caregivers were specifically trained to learn my body and needs for weeks and have been working with me for years. I have severe cPTSD and showering in front of a stranger is something I cannot do. I would rather fall or faint or get injured or just not shower than deal with that. But I’m expected to just let anyone have access to my body just because I’m physically disabled and need support.

When I faint/fall/get injured/have life threatening health issues arise while I’m not clothed, or when I’m otherwise vulnerable, I’m supposed to let strangers just touch me however they want to. I have to show them my chest (for my cardiac care) and let them poke and examine me. I can’t object without losing access to vital care.

I have agency. I have rights. I have autonomy. I deserve to be able to exercise these things.

[razzledazzlebeach]

Daryl Dixon took awhile to age mentally

As I read more and more analysis about Daryl and rewatch some of the earlier seasons, I wonder if it was intended for his character to have some kind of age regression issue. (I didn't do, like, extensive research, I just looked into some CPTSD and age regression signs on a few different sites, so this is just an idea I'm tossing out in hopes of hearing some other perspectives!)

The first situation that really catches my attention is his reaction to Merle being left in Atlanta. Now, obviously, this would be an incredibly emotional time for anyone and it's not entirely out of place to just say he was very distraught over the news and anyone could have reacted the same way he did. I just think that the specific way he did might have some signs. If you think about a grown man, especially one who was raised in a very macho household, you would assume that their reaction might be to storm out or yell at someone. Although Daryl did yell, he also started crying and pacing. It seemed almost as if he was having a full-on meltdown. Some signs of age regression are meltdowns (Ranting, shouting, insulting others, threatening others, whining, angry tears, or getting physically violent) that ring any bells?

I couldn't find a gifs of that exact moment :(

It probably didn't help that the entirety of the camp was staring at him as all of this happened. Temper tantrums can happen because someone is scared/ashamed and can't regulate themselves. (Like sensory overload.)

Another thing that I want to kind of address is the way Rick responds to Daryl when he's having these sorts of meltdowns. Throughout the series, and in the third episode, we see Rick bending down almost horizontally just so he can make eye contact with Daryl. He speaks to him like he's a child, and instead of feeling insulted, Daryl actually takes comfort in it and calms down!

"I'd like to have a calm discussion on this topic, do you think we can manage that?"

What is age regression?

We all know that Daryl was abused as a child, and trauma like that can sort of freeze the brain. This is a quote I really like that explains it: “It doesn’t necessarily make you stuck at a certain age, but instead, [you are] acting out the emotional wounding that happened at that age,” Lapides adds." People may start to regress because they are triggered or feel threatened, and an apocalypse seems like it would cause a constant trigger. Daryl might be reverting back to childlike behaviors as a trauma response. (honorable mention being the nail biting, but that's a bit of a reach) Shane being the way that he was could have also been a trigger for him.

One of the symptoms of age regression is overly clingy behavior. And you are probably thinking, "well, if there's anything Daryl has, it's not clingy behavior. He's a loner." I disregarded this too for awhile before I really thought about it. He is highly independent when he's doing things he's comfortable in, like being in the woods or going for runs. But when it comes to making decisions or being social, Daryl immediately clings to someone who he knows will do it for him. Most of his life he had Mere to hide behind. The most outgoing and shameless person alive. I don't think Merle ever asked Daryl his opinion on anything. He would decide, and Daryl would follow, and I think Daryl took a lot of comfort in that. So when Merle was gone, he latched onto Rick because he was the best choice. He knew Rick was a very righteous man who had plenty of leadership qualities. He knew Rick would make decisions for him, and give him directions.

Carol and Rick's mothering

Circling back to the way Rick would react to Daryl's outbursts, carol sometimes did the same thing. I know some people ship them, but honestly, at least in the earlier seaons, I got major mother/son vibes from the two of them. Especially when Beth died and she was trying to teach him how to grieve. The forehead kisses, the pookie nickname, all of it seemed to point in that direction. There was also another time Rick pulled the "Can we manage that?" move, and it was during Aiden and Glenn's fight in S5. He made sure to get low enough to make eye contact, and block his pacing. He kept telling Daryl that "We can't do this now." It all just looks a lot like he and carol are parenting Daryl, if only in moments where he is feeling intense stress and that trauma triggers.

Anyways, this was just a few ideas I was tossing around, and very clearly this in my first analysis lol, any thoughts?

[aloy-sobek]

Thinking about how the BG3 crew view chronic pain

Lae'zel would be insufferable about how pain is strength. However I think if given a change to swap bodies, Lae'zel would see you as the ultimate warrior. Strongest, mightiest, most fearless creature. ESPECIALLY a romanced Tav as Lae'zel gains a softer perspective of life. But good gods would she be annoying at first.

Wyll gets it. Eye still hurts him. Half the time he gets migraines because of his fucked vision and the other half it's phantom pains from where his eye used to be. His prosthetic gets dry. Needs to be cleaned and can cause irritation. He gets it.

Halsin is similar, he's older sure, but got a nasty scar on his face that smarts from time to time. Facial injuries stay hurting even once they've healed. He would offer natural healing, not in a crunchy way, but in a way to help sooth. Probably lots of massages.

Gale is a walking chronic pain. He is also a good example of doing that pain to yourself. The kind of chronic pain where you know it's your fault you're in this mess but also by gods it still awful. It's one thing to be punished for your stupidity, it's entirely different to suffer continuously.

Karlach, I mean, come on. She is the embodiment of chronic pain. Her insides are literally on fire. She riddled with scar tissue. She's known nothing but pain for over a decade. She's a good dark humor chronic pain friend 😌

Astarion is no stranger to pain. As a firm believer that he suffers CPTSD, Astarion probably has his far share of Somatic flashbacks. A form of chronic pain often thrown away as irrelevant because there is "no real cause." As if the past traumas of the body wasn't cause enough. He however at first would be a shithead about your pain, but as time rolled on, would sympathize, over a glass of medicinal wine.

Shadowheart literally has a chronic pain button in her hand. Granted it's being pushed by a god but if we thing about it, don't we all. She'd be sassy about it though. Heaven forbid she be too vulnerable, maybe for Tav and she would feel for a Tav in pain. Curse that moon witch empathy.

Minsc would try and fight your pain away. Which would be quite endearing. He would also be extra gentle around Tav. Not realizing chronic pain did not mean fragile. Boo is doing his best to explain.

Jaheira knows. She's been around a block or two. Fought a thing or two. Pain isn't something she's new too, but chronic? That isn't an enemy she deals with. She'd sit and talk with you on bad days. Keep you company. Good friend in that way.

[apolloendymion]

my beautiful sister and niece are trapped with our abusive parents until they can raise enough money to get out. it kills me to watch my sister try to juggle work, her own mental health, and childcare while meeting our parents' absurd expectations. please, anything you can donate will go a long way.

my sister's full gofundme text under the cut:

Hi everyone! I'm not entirely sure what to write, this was just recommended to me and I've never even considered starting a gofundme before. Money raised will go to moving costs and nothing else.

The situation is that I'm a single mother to a beautiful 6 year old (and my daughter's only parent, financially as well as in general), and we live with my parents. My parents are very conservative evangelicals who flood the home with fox News and conservative talk radio, as well as the barely disguised bigotry, racism, misogyny, and classism that comes with it. They are constantly trying to indoctrinate my child into their religious conservatism as well. There are big and small problems, but I'll start with the most important.

The big problems are the emotional and financial abuse. My stepdad doesn't speak to me unless he's angry, he's said awful things to me about being a terrible mother and a disappointment to the whole family, and done really horrible things like punched my dog in the face for barking outside. The most abusive thing though has got to be the multiple times he has tried to kick me out of the house on the spot, no notice, and the only reason my mom talked him out of it was because she realized that I would in fact not be leaving my daughter with them. They did this once to try to get me to go THAT DAY to inpatient psychiatric care for 2 months, which my psychiatrist said I did NOT need (they want everyone to be "fixed"and big emotions, good or bad, are entirely unwelcome). They are also trying to heavily indoctrinate my daughter into their religion; I have to have conversations with her constantly to try and undo what she's been taught.

If you care to know more about the smaller stuff, my parents have cameras EVERYWHERE including pointing into my bedroom from the backyard. My stepdad sits at work and monitors the cameras the entire time and they check every single notification from all 6-7 cameras, and they text me about every little thing they see. Despite the fact that I pay them rent, I have zero privacy or control over my space, they don't even knock and go through my stuff constantly. I also cannot have anyone over in my space after midnight (despite it being completely impossible for them to hear anyone from their completely opposite side of the house, and my work schedule ending quite late). But ultimately, these are the minor problems.

I'm really struggling emotionally right now. I'm on constant cptsd high alert in this house, everytime I hear the key in the door or the garage door open, my chest tightens up and my pulse increases. Everytime I get a text from my parents my heart drops. I never feel safe or relaxed here, ever. I'm always waiting for the silent treatment from my stepdad to erupt into months of him being silently angry, about the most innocuous things constantly, coming out at me because I asked him to let me handle disciplining my daughter or something. I had a rough childhood and then suffered more abuse as an adult, and while I've come a very long way from where I was 7 years ago, I have completely stalled out on my healing journey and can feel myself sliding backwards lately. My stress and anxiety levels are through the roof and I cannot relax.

I really struggle with asking for help, but I'm getting desperate. I'm unhappy, my dog is an anxious mess from my stepdad yelling at him all the time and their dog attacking him, and my daughter has to deal with a wound tight mother, and even though I try not to let it affect her, it does. Kids are much more emotionally intelligent than they are given credit for, and I don't want to be this way around my kid. I'm working all I can at 3 companies, but with the rise in prices here it will still be months before I can afford to get us a small place with a little backyard. I figure with first and last months rent, security deposit, pet deposit, and moving costs, I'll need at least $5000 to make this work. The sooner I get there, the sooner I can get out of this toxic mess.

I expect nothing to come of this, but man would I appreciate any help at all. I appreciate you just for taking the time to read this. ✌️ and ❤️

[bucchi-boo]

The joy these lil guys bring me

And as a Neil stan I think everyone should cuddle him

Blow the cut is some stuff irrelevant to most but just my brain

It's a bad time of year for me where my cptsd symptoms are through the roof and I'm struggling a whole lot. These lil guys have truly made coping so much easier and made me so happy but at its worst I struggle to reach for them which is why there has been less posts 😭

Aaron is still in progress his hairpiece is on the way it got delayed and I'm sad about it.

But this is me once again saying thank you for all your lovely comments and messages, I look at the tags and comments every time and I respond to comments as much as I can as it makes me so happy to know these lil fuckers also make you guys happy. It warms my heart so much

I honestly cried when even Nora said she comes back to tumblr to see them and that she loves them, means the world to me that people love my silly little hobby as much as I do.

So yeah, thank you. Once again and always, big thanks 💛

[thornsent]

hi pls help lmao

I'm morgan, a disabled trans fag in my mid 20s. I have cptsd + DID + some other fun chronic mental and physical health conditions and a lot of my trauma is regarding housing. specifically losing housing and ending up homeless. I spent 5 years couch surfing after an abusive relationship let me homeless and without anything until I got subsidized housing and thought things would turn around.

they didn't. my living situation is bad, and I've been posting pretty extensively about it esp lately. I live in a slum. there's roaches, a neighbor who's basically been stalking me, a landlord that's harassing me, and most recently a drive-by shooting quite literally outside my window. my lease ends on the 31st.

my housing worker has been incredibly sketchy and unreliable and I don't even know if I have housing secured past the 31st anymore but I'm down to the wire and have no choice and I cannot stay in this place any longer with how it has affected my physical and mental health. I really can't

I need help with moving supplies. I thought I got enough boxes but I'm still running short, and my housing worker says she wants me packed by this sunday. I also need to make some runs to goodwill. I have absolutely no movers scheduled or anything like that which my worker is supposed to be taking care of so I have no choice but to rely on someone who has been unreliable since we began working with her. I have been a fucking mess about this, it has truly been one of the worst weeks of my life

c4sh4pp is $doppelgougar v3nm0 is alumirust p4yp4l is alumirust@gmail.com

[jupiter-on-the-compupiter]

Not to come again with my random ass headcanons/rambles but this time is about the blorbo ever, Dream (who I use they/them pronouns for, spoilers lol)

Hear me out. Iirc it's canon that Nightmare doesn't/can't lie; he can say half-truths, he can omit details, but at the end of the day, he can't say something that is wholly 100% untrue. Right.

...

Then what does that mean for Dream, who is entirely his opposite in energy? Over time I built my headcanon as being that Dream can't be fully honest, ever, in juxtaposition to their brother.

This can be taken a couple different ways; Dream's whole "personality" is a bit of a fabrication after all (not as in "they're secretly evil" way ofc), they're a "public figure" of sorts that needs to look/appear/be a certain way, it's more rigid than it looks, that's enough of a lie as it is, and they definitely have trouble separating themselves from the idea of what "Dream" is.

After all, if you strip them of what they represent (hope, salvation, safety, care, they're a hero, a savior, a healer and a helper) all you get is a broken guy who, at 6yo, lost everything (and even before that, was only loved as an object to be used and asked for favors), got turned into stone for 494 years (while staying semi-conscious, mind you! they could feel what was going on out there!), woke up to Neil being dead (he's mortal, duh) and Lanny training them while absolutely hating them (being said that she was harsh enough to make them almost lose hope. lol.), like, the cptsd is very real and Dream would rather die than be honest for a second about who exactly they are.

They're Dream [The Guardian of Positivity], Dream [Child of Nim, Guardian of Feelings], Dream [Protector of the Omega Timeline], hell, they can even be Dream [of the Star Sanses] before they're [Dream], you know?

Nightmare's honesty is devastating as someone who wants to completely erase his past, it follows him in his every word; and Dream's dishonesty is also devastating, as someone who desperately wants to go back to the past, as it stays out of reach and mocks them.

...Alright sorry it's late and I'm Going Insane alright

(Edit, in the "canon facts about Dreamtale" posts it also says that Dream often lies to people to keep them happy which is the diet version of this post if you will sdfhjbgsdfhjbgsdf)

[rosy-crow]

not enough people are reveling in the horrors that is sephiroth having SEVERE CPTSD!!

HGGFJFHF YEAH

Also, on a few lists, “hyper-vigilance” was a symptom…which….bruh

I watched a documentary about kids with CPTSD and also one on attachment disorders in infants after maternal neglect a while ago, and basically, when they put well-adjusted kids in a room with each other and some adults, it was all smiles, trust, camaraderie, play, fun, etc.. Those babies were bright and looking at the adults all the time! They bonded really easily.

But the kids with either the attachment disorder or the CPTSD just sat there looking on high alert. They didn’t sleep or rest, they didn’t trust the adults. They looked anxious and they were babies :(

The kids with the maternal neglect issues were known to look around the room and at the doors like they were waiting for someone. Waiting for someone to come back. It made me cry at the time, dude.

Anyway, Sephiroth first reminded me of the kids with the attachment disorders when I was going through OG and he seemed like he was looking for…something. When he found Jenova, I was like…”OH! WAIT IS THIS MOTHER THING DELIBERATE…”

And when I got to Lucrecia, as soon as she said “I never even got to hold him,” it all clicked. That explained a LOT 💀

I could not find hardly any analysis videos or forums on him (outside of tumblr) that even bothered to mention it. It’s hopefully gonna change with FS!

But what’s also becoming more blatant aside from the attachment disorder is the CPTSD, I agree. He showed up in episode 1 already a mess around the adults, not sure how to interact after isolation, really apologetic when he messed up and he wilted whenever Glenn yelled. Then we had that whole speech he gave when they confronted him about his ruthlessness and he basically gave away that he was trained to be afraid as a warrior. Deathly fearful, paranoid and reactive on the battlefield even with children and elderly because he believed he’d surely die if he hesitated or showed any compassion.

That basically means they beat fear into his head for a long time and put him in situations where he perfected the “kill or be killed” mindset.

(I’m so happy he does THIS with the Wutai troops as an adult though. HE LEARNED TO HESITATE AND OFFER HIS ENEMIES A CHANCE BEFORE JUST GOING FOR THE KILL SJDHDH)

But as for his younger self, what kid would be trained like that (especially by fucking Hojo) and not develop all of the exact traits Sephiroth has in these stories, honestly…I can’t even imagine.

He has the other symptoms of CPTSD too. He feels disconnected and different, he has serious issues with engaging or starting relationships, he dehumanizes himself, he speaks like the world is hopeless and HIS life is worthless outside of his missions, and he is apparently gonna say to Angeal something about them not being able to understand each other because of how they were raised….which fits with the “feeling like nobody can understand you” symptom.

Ugh. This seems to be a big part of what he has and it’s at its worst right now in episode 2 because now it’s not just the isolated war machine childhood + the Hojo horrors fucking him up, but we got everything that happened in Rhadore too.

I mean yeah, no WONDER this kid is closed off and falling into the Alissa/Jenova/Masamune trap or whatever. I bet he’s gonna have a mini Nibelheim or some kind of breakdown, and my hopes are in Angeal’s intervention. If anyone can get through to Sephiroth, it’s him.

[awkwardandeccentric]

We know Stolas has terrible mental health issues and we assign that to his environment, rightfully so, but mental health issues are also genetic. So, how much of his depression, anxiety, and cPTSD is from being raised by Paimon and attached to Stella…and how much of it is inherited from his mother? A woman he never got to meet. A woman who never go to show him love. A woman who must have had a hard life if she ever crossed paths with Paimon.

Do you think his mom ever got to watch him hatch? Do you think he ever called out for her when he was scared or lonely? Do you think he ever asked about her before he learned to be silent?

How much was the deck stacked against him before he was even born?

[hisaribi]

So I've got possessed by the de-ages Dick au, and while I usually go for physically de-aged but still adult mind for angst and research of weakness and the need to rely on others. But this time I needed an angst

So Dick got de-aged both physically and mentally, to the begining of his Robin days, fresh of loosing his parents. He's stuck in the constant performance everything is great I don't trust any of you mode. He's friendly, helpful, only once asked why they all were Robins, but because others didn't have any idea where it came from, he didn't tell a thing (he trusted his adult self judgement in not telling younger ones all the whys). There was no way to reverse him, no memories he could get back, no skills that suddenly would pop up no recognition. Dick Grayson, Nightwing, is basically dead.

Jason though told him that if he wants to get out of all the overbearing protectiveness (Bruce wanted to do everything Right this time, Tim was weirded to see Dick the way he remembered from his parents death and probably experiences cptsd again with need to protect the kid, Damian who suddenly became twice Dick's age and it was the first for him to not be the youngest and also he was going through wanting to leave this life and maybe move towards the medicine, and maybe pull Dick out of it as well, Cass sometimes followed him like a silent shadow out of worry as well, Steph, Duke and others mostly were weirded out and kept away). So Jason who went through everyone around mourning his past Robin self and not accepting his current one, not fully, sort of knew what Dick was going through, and it was even worse, because he didn't even remember what was before, the chunk of twenty years of history he didn't know about, and people who mourned Nightwing. But also to stay asshole-ish Jason told Dick that he can crash his flat only if he could find it (or any other houses)

So Dick got tired of it, especially because he wasn't allowed to go out on the patrols, and while Bruce and Tim left he sneacked out as well. He climbed through the window of Jason's flat, he did find it himself, and heard voices, Jason wasn't alone. Dick kept to the shadows and was light on his feet, he didn't recognize voices, but they werenangry or anything. So he listened in.

It were Jason and two other people he remembered, the ones that came to visit him somewhere after he got aged down. Roy and Kori. And well, he heard them.

How Dick was now younger than Roy's daughter and he still couldn't break it to her, that her favorite uncle Nightwing was gone. How Jason talked about this sort of mourning and how he was still actually stuck to that about Dick despite knowing how it felt. And Kori confessed that she had a child with Dick, a daughter she didn't tell him about, who stayed with Tameranian people. And now they won't ever meet.

They then argued about this whole thing, and Dick left, no way he could get to Jason ever again. He went up to brood on the gargoyle, because well, everyone did treat him as a memo of someone who wasn't there anymore. Who he could grow into, but not really him.

And apparently Damian sat next to him and gave Dick a snack. Because Damian noticed Dick running away, and followed just to make sure he won't get in trouble, and he was actually about to leave him be after he climbed into Jason's kitchen, but then he was glad he didn't. And he then contemplated if he wanted to leave Dick alone and not show himself, or sit down next to him and support. He decided the latest, because well Damian (and most other people) was aware Dick wasn't all sunshine and rainbow, so they sort if expected him to blow up, even Bruce, who was to him just as much of a stranger as others were.

Dick got angry at everyone looking at him like he killed his elder self personally. Like they treat all his mannerisms and wordings as a sign of him getting his memories back and not him actually always having them or taking them from others and it just happened to be the ones they adopted from him. But then sitting with Damian he just plastered his usual smile and went like oh hey yeah decided I needed some air thanks for snack anyway how's school.

And then Damian tried to tell Dick a story, like the one that was in his Robin comics, about a prince and all that, as the middle Dick deadpanned that Damian was awful at disgaising true story behind this tale premise, they bickered a bit, but Damian then told Dick that Dick being his Batman, Dick accepting him was what got him into the family, was the reason he stuck there, and while yes, Damian didn't know about this Robin version of Dick he would try to the best of his abilities to support him. Like no, Dick also wasn't patient, for Dick back then Damian was a burden along with the Batman, and Damian expected it all to be really rough, but at the very least Damian really wanted to help at the very least till Dick could walk on his own and be his safety net and Dick at first laughed at how pretentious it sounded, but it lacked bite to it

Dick silently leant at Damian and they stayed like that for some time

[rubydubydoo122]

hi, i'm kind of a newbie in comics and can you elaborate why pit madness is not real? thank you (i haven't got to the modern comics yet)

I’m pretty sure Pit Madness just… isn’t really a thing. There isn’t anything in Canon that outright says ‘the pit makes you crazy’

If anyone wants to correct me on anything, feel free to, because I’ve only read major comic book storylines

I think Pit Madness was made up in Fanon to justify Jason’s ‘insane’ actions— like eight heads in a duffle bag, or the attack on Titans Tower, or his whole pill helmet era— but they’re forgetting that Jason came back to life after being brutally murdered and I think he has a right to lose his mind a little bit after that, especially since he also had some major brain damage. It’s probably more likely that Jason has a chemical imbalance and has CPTSD, from his early life on the streets to the things that have happened to him during his time as Robin.

It’s also a way the fandom reinforce racist stereotypes about the Al-Ghuls. ‘But Talia threw Jason into the pit and pointed the pit madness towards Bruce’ that did not happen. Jason did most of his world tour on his own free will. He planned his return to Gotham all by himself.

In fact, Talia loves Bruce and she was finding Jason’s world tour, so she was probably guiding him away from killing Bruce.

Also, something something ‘Ras is a crazy creepy old man’ he wouldn’t be over 600 years old if the pit waters drive you insane.

I think there is a brief period of time RIGHT AFTER you emerge from the pit where you lose your mind, but it eventually wears off and it wouldn’t last for as long as the fandom makes it out to be, and it wouldn’t be flashes of Rage. It would probably be more akin to insanity, because it’s a cursed fountain of youth.

Also, Cass and Damian were also put into the Lazarus Pit (I’m pretty sure?) and they

Sorry if any of that came out aggressive, but Pit Madness drives me insane (pun intended) if I’m wrong about anything, someone please correct me.