#she’s the insane one

[etoilebleu]

sasha was absolutely giddy with delight. maybe this jake-who-wasn't-jake wasn't so disappointing, either. it certainly made for some entertainment, that was for sure. teeth gently bit down on her tongue in a cheeky manner in response to his annoyance, humming a laugh quietly while she got comfortable in her chair. a little payback definitely made her feel better.

relationship, though? that kind of soured her glee, gaze lowering to think about that silently for a moment. like.. a real one? the same for ' jake ', too? jealousy bubbled underneath her skin for a man she'd only met once, sasha adjusting her coat quietly. hm.

elbow lifted onto the table, chin making itself at home to rest on her palm, gaze following his fingertips. she liked the way she caressed the stone so gently, taking a deep breath while she bit the inside of her cheek in thought. she watched almost longingly, freehand quietly drumming on the tabletop while she imagined some not so decent things with his soft looking touch combined. she was just a girl, after all. seeing him so excited about it was quite sweet, too.

she blinked suddenly, perking back up and brought back to reality when he started speaking again, sitting straight and raking through her hair like she hadn't just fantasized something about a total stranger. gaze swiveled back up to meet his, staring at him blankly for a moment.

apep. that made so much sense!

" hm? OH--UGH. " sasha rolled her eyes, leaning back a little before palms slapped down on the tabletop in a frustrated manner, cursing under her breath. she had a story to TELL. " listen to this-- " she started, as if this were normal gossip. voice heavy with its usual russian dialect.

" so I used to do business with this man. many years ago, right? he has his guy contact my guy that puts me in contact with people--and he asks him to ask me--who this egyptian artifact buyer I used to sell to is. so I tell him. "

she puts her finger up, wagging it. " that makes me wonder, right? what is he looking for? because this man has never ever been interested in egyptian artifacts. he used to buy, sell and smuggle weapons. terrible man, really. too much cologne, too. I could smell him from a mile away. " waving a dismissive hand.

" so I find him. because he is stupid and proud and I know where he is located. he does not know where I am located, though. none of them do. that's why I win and they lose. and I do my thing I can do and I spy on him. " fingers wiggling as if to imitate a creeping motion. not that he knew what exactly 'what she could do' that was.

" and he and these other men are all together. is really fucking creepy, honestly. like a cult. and they're standing around talk about who you mentioned. ahh---apep, right? and they have that slab. and they look a little too happy. talking about one step closer to serving their ultimate purpose for...uhmm apep, yes--"

she furrowed her brows, looking at him while trying to stifle a laugh. because it was so creepy and absolutely ridiculous.

" that many men in a room that happy means something terrible. so I stole it. " giving a sigh while she folded her arms over her chest. no other rhyme or reason, really. she had no idea what the slab did. she was just petty. " and because they killed my buyer for it. " mumbling curse words in russian under her breath. as if that were necessary.

" so is it worth anything? because I was just going to sell it and use some funds for a couple of hitmen as revenge and maybe a charity of your choosing. " grinning ear to ear, completely oblivious.

oh.. where were her manners?

"--sasha, by the way. " both elbows on the table now, fists curled underneath her chin and legs doing a single swing underneath the table. this was so exciting getting down to business !

Upon her laugh, Steven's still very much racing heart starts to slow down, with him feeling even more defiant now; He even goes as far as allowing himself to pout at the display - not much, but it's there - before he takes another, deep breath and then exhales it long and slow through his parted lips. Okay, okay, he's good, he can do this, it cannot get worse from here. Whatever had been going on is fine now, she isn't going to shoot him---

He blinks. Wait, she... she did what?! Brown eyes, which had previously drifted to the side again - partially in shame because of her laughing like that - flick back to her features, widening in what is clear disbelief about that woman daring to steal an ancient artifact!

"---You--- ...from where? From the museum?!" Steven gasps, then blinks again. "E-even if you didn't steal it from the museum, b-but... I just wanna say, I do not condone stealing, and I think it's wrong to steal something that does belong to---Ohmygodpleasecanwenot---"

His lecture about how bad stealing is - and how much he's disapproving of it - is roughly interrupted by her ripping open her coat in such a way that it makes Steven panic again for a moment there, eyes squeezing shut so quickly that it almost makes him feel dizzy, both hands coming up to cover his features. She is flashing him, she is just doing that! Okay, perhaps he had been wrong and it can, apparently, become even worse---

"---Please tell me you're not naked, please, I'm in a relationship and I am very happy in that relationship and---" Carefully, hesitating, he does risk a peek from between his fore- and middle finger, just a very brief one, a hint of a glance while he avoids the more... uhm, personal bits---

...

She's wearing a dress.

Steven groans, rubs his palms over his features, then lets them drop as he appears incredibly tired now, done with this and literally everything. Of course she is just messing with him, he should've known at this point.

"You are the worst.", he mutters under his breath, but his gaze turns a bit more excited again - and very much curious - when she pulls that package from the inside of her coat, then sits to unpack it; A stone slab is revealed, hieroglyphs carved into it, and the whole thing looks like it had once been shattered but then gotten repaired by someone who did a truly awful job.

It hurts Steven's heart and he steps closer, all of his attention now on the artifact, eyes wide again and all the previous exhaustion gone. He even goes as far as reaching out, briefly allowing his fingertips to trail along the rough surface, the many cracks, before he lets out a somewhat disappointed huff.

"Look at that.", he says, quietly, offended. "---Why would someone shatter this and then piece it back together in such a bloody awful way?! It's... it's a shame, really, because it's clearly very old and valuable... I'm so sorry, ancient stone slab, you deserved better."

Yes, Steven actually means it. No, he does not care about how ridiculous he sounds.

...He doesn't even think of the possibility that this thing was not glued back together in some way... but rather put back together differently...

---Another swallow follows, with Steven leaning forward even further, bringing his features closer to the ancient artifact upon her asking him to read it; He isn't too sure if he even can at first, because some of the hieroglyphs look a little wrong, a little crooked... but he's beginning to read and then puzzles everything together with the help of context---

"Huh." A moment passes, he inhales, exhales. Followed by another "...Huhhh." and a hand that comes up to his own neck to give it a scratch. He does not read it out loud, keeps the words inside his mind...

Oh, he doesn't like what he's reading; Granted, Steven's not an expert, but...

"I---", he starts, sighing as he stand straight again, fingers sliding over the stone for a second time, in deep thought. His expression is serious, a bit taken-aback, uneasy. "...I think... ---I think it's... It's about Apep, the ancient Egyptian god of chaos."

Bad guy. Really, really bad guy.

"Where... where did you steal this from?" Steven's gaze is back on her, hesitating.

[cutiemisu]

ryoko kui: bet

[chimchiri]

gideon & harrow OR rd and sf as cowboys please please please

It's the cowgirl necro and her gunslinger cav! Who is so damn extra she's got three guns: one left, one right, and one in pole position! (She swears the ladies love it!)

[greykolla-art]

Charlie: “I’m so glad my most villain-coded friend is at full power again! 🥰💕”

*throws this to you angst goblins like raw steak* ❤️

(No I will not do a part 2!❤️)

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Okay 3 things

1. I was thinking about an aroace Sonic who says things that can be taken as wildly flirty/romantic but he just means them genuinely. “You have beautiful eyes, I keep getting distracted while looking at them,” not cause he’s interested romantically in them but because eyes can be really cool and pretty man I dunno what to tell you he likes looking at cool things and he thinks his friends are neat. “You’re the most beautiful person here,” because he really thinks that, he loves his friends

2. Sonic randomly dropping heartfelt genuine comments on his friends out of the blue completely blindsiding them and then moves on like nothing happened while they’re left going ?????? Bonus points if he does something immensely stupid or jerkish just before or immediately afterwards and they can’t tell if he was serious or not with the compliment (yes he was)

3. Sonic usually being so allergic to truly vulnerable moments that when he expresses something heartfelt randomly Tails thinks he’s been stabbed or something and does not believe him when he reassures him that he’s fine he’s fine he’s not dying yeesh

[kaahmbem]

legend has it that the young witch circe and the once beautiful nymph scylla shared a complicated past...

[cloaked-cloverr]

glamorous pony ✨

[lucabyte]

some thoughts on Claude

alt title: diversity win! this Butch Nun is crafting bombs in an unventilated room in her convent while actively courting Mother Superior! Do Not Give Them Access To Unlimited Power No Matter How Nice They Are

+ bonus

[anbaisai]

Couldn't unsee Aira's hair as literally pink Azul hair so I had to make this once episode 10 of Dandadan dropped

[captmuldoon]

Black Sails really tapped into a very specific kind of ghost story where your ghost is not actually you but someone else's perception of you - the person they thought you were and should be. Imagine hating knitting and embrodiery, and you're no good at it, but you do it because you're a governor's wife and people expect you to be at his side, quiet with your head bowed over your needles. You buy a new wardrobe of dresses because your role necessitates it, but you keep your old clothes hidden in your rooms because you can't bear to let go of that part of you yet. And then you die and you come back as a haunting and you're faceless and voiceless, and you're wearing a dress that means nothing to you, and the only sound you can make is that of your knitting needles hitting each other again and again. And this is how the person you love brings you back: a voiceless, faceless thing in the corner.

[swordmaid]

back to the shadows 🌑

inspired by the storm by pierre auguste cot, shri’iia and astarion running away from the sun bc he’s a vampire and she has sunlight sensitivity.

please zoom in to see the details! 🥹🫶

[clarissasbakery]

redid my microphone 🎤

[sapsuckers-and-stardust]

Watching Star Trek IV

Whale biologist: why do you hang around with that weird guy who calls you admiral and why are you so close?

Kirk: *hesitates*

Whale biologist, who lives in San Francisco in the 80s and is rapidly drawing many correct conclusions: that’s okay we don’t have to talk about it.

[lotus-pear]

lore accurate teen soukoku. the worsties ever

[bookalicent]

yeah so this was insane

[yashley]

campaign 3 episode 120: Imogen Temult, Exaltant Hope of the Red Storm (hot girl shit)