#she’s done several things i deeply disliked

[not-available-for-comment]

“Image-obsessed celebrity can’t be struggling behind the scenes because being ultra-famous and almost pathologically protective of your public image is famously a very mentally healthy experience with no psychological downsides” is just as much of a dogshit parasocial take as “famous straight conventionally attractive if sometimes cryptic celebrity is leaving secret puzzles to prove to me specifically that she’s gay”.

You don’t know these people. YOU DON’T KNOW THESE PEOPLE. You can just like or dislike the music and it will be ok. I will not send the art cops to your house. Go to a coffee shop and put a tenner in the busker’s guitar case if you’re that exercised about it.

Also, not for nothing, being wealthy can be helpful with mental illness, but pushy stage parents and legions of obsessive fans historically Are Not. We’ve somehow blown straight past “money can’t buy happiness but it can pay for rent and doctor’s appointments which sure fucking help” to “no rich person has had a real problem ever” and I regret to inform you that that second statement is what the original platitude is about. It is, tragically, possible to have rent and groceries and doctors bills and cute clothes paid for without a second’s thought and still have a bad time of it, because even rich people are human beings who come from families of human beings and have human friends and lovers and staff and coworkers and part of the human condition is that sometimes some of us suffer.

I get the impulse to be resentful of someone singing about having a hard time when the spare change from between her couch cushions would easily save your life. I’ve been through a period of my life where I tried not to obviously resent my friends for *having food*. It’s ok if you can’t listen to her for that reason and in fact I’d argue that you shouldn’t. It’s painful, and it’s not the kind of pain that produces anything worthwhile, just more resentment. But “she’s making up alcoholism for clout” is such a deeply stupid way to phrase that. You don’t know her. What if she isn’t? What if she IS? Making up personas is literally part of her brand. Do you need a hug? Sincerely. I think a hug would maybe be more productive here. I’m sorry things are hard. It’s not fair. You’re right. It isn’t.

I just think one slightly overexposed pop singer is maybe not the main reason it’s hard.

[kinning-sammy]

I'm so serious when I say that I dislike Sam Haters. It's not just 'cause I love that man, but also because the reasoning is so. fucking. stupid.

How dare he betray Dean with demon blood?

Regarding the Ruby situation, Sam was fucking vulnerable. His brother just went to fucking hell. His girlfriend is dead. His dad is dead. Bobby was most likely grieving for Dean. Sam spent several miserable months trying to get his brother back all to no avail. Then comes along Ruby with the promise of I can bring your brother back if you just do this little thing for me and she downright co-erced Sam into an addiction because she manipulated Sam into believing that he can bring Dean back. He's miserable, filled with grief, and utterly alone. Then Dean comes back, and Sam's so desperately afraid of losing his brother, but he's also so deeply manipulated by Ruby that he can't stop drinking demon blood because he's fucking addicted. It certainly doesn't help when Dean treats him like utter shit for it because Dean doesn't deal with anything. He fucking bottled that shit up which causes him to lash out and most of the time, his target is Sam. That shit hurts. Yes, Sam lied, but so did Dean in literally every fucking situation ever. Would you actually tell Dean Winchester, the one who's violent and isn't afraid to lash out over even the littlest thing, about the things you've done as Sam Winchester?

How dare he not look for Dean when Dean was in Purgatory?

Honestly, why would he? After all they've been through, after learning over and over that bringing each other back does nothing but cause chaos, why would he? Sam learned his fucking lesson. Also, he just lost his brother, again, and he fucking disappeared into thin air. There’s nothing that Sam could've done in regard to fucking Purgatory, especially when there were ZERO leads. Didn't they also make a promise not to resurrect each other anymore? Sam respected that promise.

There are so many other reasons some of the fans hate Sam, but these two get on my nerves the most. I also don't think you understand that Dean Winchester does not deserve Sam Winchester. I fucking love Dean, don't get me wrong, but he is a toxic & unhealthy asshole. So when people treat Dean as a "uwu fragile little man uwu hate Sammy so much for abandoning Dean owo" as if Dean hasn't disrespected Sam’s entire existence, consistently, throughout the show? Sam is Dean’s property. Sam doesn't have a say in what he wants. Dean decides for him whether Sam wants it or not. Sam is wrong no matter what, no matter what his intention is. Dean is always right. That's the mentality that your "little fragile man" has. So get the fuck out 🫡

[prismartist]

modern who discourse honestly becomes sillier once you start watching classic who because the issues people complain about in the current series... have always existed? like aside from the usual "doctor who has always been 'woke' and queer".

"none of that episode made sense" i promise you they have just been saying anything since 1963. "they can't do that, they've never done that before" again, one of the pillars of doctor who is just making shit up. the doctor didn't [insert thing here] before? well he can now. don't question it.

"they never dealt with emotions, it's all sappy now" there have been quite a few emotional throughlines in the series! there's adric's death, which deeply affected the doctor and other companions for several serials. and like, all of ace's character.

"it's fantasy now, not sci-fi" i mean aside from sutekh there are several gods that show up that sort of extend past "spooky powerful creature". i remember one about a white bird and a goddess of time ?? she was literally a big head that could banish people. i feel like that's at least A Bit of Fantasy.

"the UNIT episodes suck" ok i will admit i wasn't too fond of UNIT either but there have been UNIT episodes since the second doctor so. Secret Cool Sci-Fi Avengers is also a staple of doctor who.

like i'm not saying you can't dislike the new series for these reasons, it's just a lil silly to me when people complain about things that have more or less always existed, especially when they say it's been "ruined" or "disney-fied." i don't think it is. it's just been exponentially doctor-fied.

[tackletofset]

Do you suppose Anharion did more bad things in his time with Sun King than he ever did during his time with Sarcean? Don’t get me wrong I agree that Sarcean did slaughter the Sun Kingdom people as well as several other kingdoms. But like you said it was against the bigots who had hurt him. However maybe the Sun King did other rampages for reasons like greed and sadism and Anharion went along with it. Anharion may have also been bigoted and started to see Sarcean as nothing more than a blight on the world.

@longkissgoodnightbatmanandtwofac

Possibly, and very likely.

Although I don't think it stems from his own bigotry. If Anharion were a bigot, Sarcean wouldn't have fallen so deeply in love with him. Anharion befriended him despite Sarcean's "coloring" and his taboo type of magic. It was Anharion's kindness and sincerity, aside from his beauty, that drew Sarcean to him.

I believe Anharion gave the Sun King his utmost loyalty in exchange for sparing Sarcean. He knew that Sarcean would survive in the Oubliette. While the Sun King and the Lady might have opted to kill Sarcean, Anharion might have negotiated to keep him alive but locked in the Oubliette.

The phrase "I will always find you, try to run" seemed like a secret message for Sarcean to try to escape, with Anharion planning to catch up with him later.

During those times, Anharion might have done anything the Sun King commanded. He also had fought Sarcean head-to-head in many battles.

...Didn't the text specifically mentioned only Anharion and the Lady fought? Where the heck was their esteemed King at? 🤣🤣 Hiding under the bed while his wife is facing his usurper in the battlefield??

As much as I dislike the Lady, no wonder she cheated.

Remember that the Sun King used to send Sarcean to do his dirty jobs? Now that he'd lost Sarcean, he could've used Anharion to fill in that function.

I believe both Sarcean and Anharion did bad things to each other, be it intentional or not. Especially if we're using Damen and Laurent as an example. Damen hurt Laurent by killing his brother, and Laurent took revenge by torturing him as a slave.

Assuming that all the wrongdoings were done solely by Sarcean, just as some people insist, while simultaneously making Anharion a damsel in distress figure is absurd and, frankly, stupid.

[acorpsecalledcorva]

Ok actually I might actually have something to say on this. I originally wasn't because the idea of system responsibility/accountability seems like such a no brainer to me I couldn't even think of a response to that thread going around right now that wasn't just "lol, no". Like, if we both have the same information on the topic and that's the conclusion you've come to about it then I simply cannot help you.

I also dislike conversations about things being anti-recovery because there's always nuance where you simply cannot definitively say something is or isn't anti recovery in a way that applies to everyone. I have decided, however, that this topic might actually be dangerously anti-recovery for a lot of people and I'm probably just being a pussy not wanting to poke the hornets nest by avoiding it. So here goes.

A huge complication of this, is of course, the dissonance between therapeutic and community settings. The two will never line up, they will never wholly agree with each other, and there will always be conflict. You can never seamlessly take advice from one, and apply it to the other, not least of all because neither the community nor the therapists we see make up a cohesive hive mind. There are different goals, different methods to achieving those goals, and disagreements on what those goals should be.

That being said, let's at least explore these ideas in their correct contexts and see if it can at least expand our perception and understanding of them. You don't need to relate to these scenarios, simply try to see the topic from the hypothetical systems point of view.

Therapeutic Setting

The host of a system presents at a therapists office. She is aware of her alters and has good relations with many of them but struggles to manage her day to day life. She suffers from an intense fear of abandonment and has incredibly low self esteem. There are several alters in her system that she is deeply concerned about that have created conflict in her life. One is sexually promiscuous and has ended relationships by sleeping with people other than her partners, one that harms the body and is hostile towards her including strongly negative critical thoughts, and one that is dedicated to permanently ending friendships and relationships by being extremely cruel and harmful to the people she cares about. She is very scared of these alters and wants nothing to do with them, she resents them for what they have done and is scared of what they might do. Her goal in therapy is to create greater harmony within her system, to have better collaboration with her alters and reduce the amount of internal and external conflict in her life.

The therapeutic approach in this scenario would be to remind the host that the alters she is afraid of are the result of traumatic events, and formed as part of a defence mechanism to protect her younger self, but that these defence mechanisms have likely gotten stuck and may no longer be appropriate to help with the problems they seek to solve. These alters may also feel alienated from the rest of the system, they might feel like they are being unfairly punished for trying to help and resent the host for pushing them away and punishing her back. Therefore, the path to resolving this issue is to accept these alters for who they are and what they're trying to do. To be grateful for the help they provided in the past and how much they must care for her to do what they do. To work on the fear and apprehension, because everyone in the system is part of the same brain and so will know if she doesn't really mean it, so that everyone can be brought closer together and work collaboratively towards common goals. After all, they all share the same brain, the same body, and must live the same life and what affects one will affect the other.

Community Setting

The host of a system enters the online system community. They are not the original host of the system, and do not go by the bodies name. They join system discord servers as well as follow many systems on social media platforms such as TikTok. They feel at home in these spaces as they are very alter centric. They, and the rest of their system are encouraged to share details about themselves, write lengthy bios, and differentiate themselves from each other. This works well for everyone in the system because it provides a freedom of self expression that is absent from their real world life. The alters find it very validating to establish their own identities and be treated as their own individual selves. These feelings are reinforced by sentiments shared in their communities that no one should force them to fuse, that fusion is equivalent to death, and that parts language is dehumanising. The system does not feel the need to seek therapeutic support as they are happy as a system and have heard accounts that made them wary of being invalidated by a therapist.

There is one alter, however, that likes to get up to mischief and create drama. They often front momentarily to leave inflammatory remarks, don't abide by community guidelines, and keep getting them into trouble. They post to Reddit to ask for advice on how to stop them when they're someone else and they can't control what they do and are told "your alters aren't different people, they're part of you and so it's up to you to work with them to change their behaviour". Well that doesn't sound right. The alter isn't them, that's the whole point of being a system. They decide instead that there's simply nothing they can do about it, that alter has nothing to do with them and controlling their actions would be like trying to control a random person on the street

Now it's completely understandable why two systems from these two settings would come away with completely different perceptions of what being a system is like. Why one would find the other anti-recovery and the other would find the other invalidating. But there is a key commonality between them, and that is both systems are distancing themselves from the alters causing issues, one through fear, and the other through absolvement.

System responsibility in both cases, therefore, is to accept their role in the conflict as an active participant and seek to resolve it. In the therapeutic setting it's to recognise that the hosts fear and resentment, if understandable, is contributing to the furthering of conflict and reactionary behaviour from the alters in question. For the latter system, it's to accept that as individual and different each person within the system is, they still share one body, share one life, use the same phone or computer, and have the same accounts. That they do not get special rights as a system that singlets do not. That if they want access to spaces where they can all be themselves then they all need to agree to abide by the rules or none of them will have access to protect the other members of the community.

Neither of these are nice or enjoyable or easy things to accept, but, and this is the really crucial bit, if you don't take responsibility for your system or your role in an alters behaviour, then you are consenting to the behaviour by your refusal and whether you accept it or not, others will hold you accountable for doing so.

So what's it to be? Do you want your friends and partners to be hurt and lose your access to spaces that you find so affirming? Or do you want to put in the work to build communication, participation, and collaboration with your system so that you can all enjoy your individual lives together?

[dathomirror]

This is just going to be a bunch of word vomit regarding how I interpret Crosshair's character arc thusfar because he's my fave and episode 12 has me reeling. I'm starting to form semi-coherent thoughts about why I've become so attached to him as a character despite his infrequent appearances and questionable actions.

***Bad Batch Season 2 Spoilers Ahead***

Crosshair is, above all, a protector. He was engineered to be that way. His job is to watch from afar with those eagle eyes and keep his brothers from being overwhelmed by enemies they can't possibly see coming. I think this definitely translates within the Batch as a detached older sibling dynamic. He loves his brothers dearly, but he sure as heck isn't going to admit it because that would be severely uncool. Actions speak louder than words anyway. Definitely an "acts of service" over "physical touch" kind of guy.

The grumpy outer shell is just a different kind of armor- one that gives him the reputation of being prickly and cold, and protects all the soft and squishy emotion on the inside. I would argue that all of his actions are motivated by, or are perversions of this deeply rooted instinct to protect his brothers, biochip or not.

He also displays a strong opposition to change of any kind. We see this in CW when he protests working with "regs". His unwillingness to stand down when targeting Saw Guerrera's people, and aversion to rescuing Omega? He knows what happened to Fives and others like him- the nail that sticks out gets hammered down. Whether or not he wanted to carry out questionable orders at this point, he knew that failing the mission meant his brothers would be in trouble.

Now this is not to say all his actions are defensible. After being left on Kamino to be exploited by the Empire, he is rightfully feeling used and unrecognized, but that certainly doesn't excuse gunning down innocents or hunting his brothers. I do however feel like it has all been leaning more towards cornered animal behavior than malicious intent. He has been desperately clinging to some semblence of sameness in a quickly changing galaxy and it's caused him to put up blinders to the atrocities the Empire is commiting. He's trapped now because he's stubborn, and he can spin anything to sound righteous if it means not having to confront the true consequences of his actions. This is something that I hope can be addressed eventually. I want that Zuko-esque taking-responsibility-for-my-actions redemption arc so very badly.

On the subject of Omega, I think he sees her primarily as a disruption of his routine. I don't necessarily think he likes or dislikes her as of yet. She's just something different. When he saves her at the end of season 1, it's very much motivated by his default need to keep his brothers happy and safe. If she were to die, it would devastate the others, so we can't have that. He likely feels replaced. I think he could learn to care for her, given time and space to process the change.

Despite having almost no screen time this season, I do love the tidbits we have gotten to see. Cross is beginning to realize that the things he's done are wrong, despite his intentions. With his brothers gone, he was so desperately trying to find something to defend that he didn't stop to think if it was worth defending at all. In episode 3, the part that really gets me is near the end of the mission when Cody is being reprimanded by the new imperial governer. Crosshair doesn't shoot until Cody is threatened for not carrying out the order, and his reaction is nigh instantaneous. I'm honestly not entirely convinced he would have shot her otherwise. Working with Cody was the closest thing he's had in months to working with his brothers again- someone familiar. If it had been any other clone that he didn't have a relationship with, I think he would have absolutely let them take the fall for their disobedience.

This brings me to episode 12, and boy am I a wreck. The underappreciation he thought he felt from his brothers is nothing compared to the emotional neglect this new regime is doling out. Any sense of familiarity is gone at this point. His brothers are gone, and now Cody is too. We see new regulations- "you're out of uniform" (seriously fuck that guy), and clone troopers being forcibly retired, etc. I interpreted his demeanor at the start of this episode as very much just numb. All that's left is the stoic shell he's carefully curated, and it's got nothing left to shield. Until he meets Mayday. Now I don't know how intentional this was, but Mayday instantly reminded me of Hunter, both physically and in his mannerisms, and especially in his attitude towards the other clone troopers under his command. Crosshair seemed to relax almost immediately in his presence, and I knew then and there Mayday wasn't going to survive the episode. He was going to be Crosshair's last straw. I hate when I'm right, sometimes. We see his protective instincts flip back on like a light switch when this surrogate brother is hurt, and for the first time onscreen that shell is gone. We see genuine worry and pain on his face, and it really fuckin hurt because it's been building for so long. Crosshair did literally everything he could do to protect this trooper that reminds him of his brother, and for the first time, it's not enough- he fails in his role. The Empire has now taken from him the very core of his identity, and I think that's why he finally snaps.

Side note: the symbolism in this episode was so good. Being told he's out of uniform at the beginning and then losing his helmet in the snow by the end. Being buried by an avalanche that he caused. Letting Mayday use his rifle as a crutch when all it's ever been is an instrument of destruction. The ice vultures coming full-circle. *chef's kiss*

Anyway, as an older sibling myself, and as someone who has always struggled with expressing their emotions, dealing with change, or physically expressing affection, I'm really hyperfixating on Crosshair's journey and I just really want to see him safely reunited with his brothers.

[deathsbestgirl]

@alexmacc oh thank you!! this is a great question and i do want to preface it with i do not have any experience with infertility but i do have a lot of experience with illness & doctors. i think it's completely understandable to dislike this arc for any reason. and i'm sure the writers don't really know what they're talking about when it comes to science. but like. this is a sci-fi show and i'm not looking for accuracy. anyway, i personally kind of love it. i can't help but look at this show in "good faith." especially mulder & scully specifically.

(also!! there are spoilers that go into season 7&8)

to me, the foundation of the x files is mulder's trauma surrounding losing samantha but the journey of it is through scully's trauma. we experience hers in real time. and this one is deeply personal & relatable, like her cancer. not being able to have children is devastating, the language surrounding infertility is painful. (although i can never remember if infertility was clear at this point — when he found her ova, or in emily.) scully thought about having kids, at one point she didn't think she was cut out for it, it was a distant hope & possibility. i don't think she truly dreamt of having the typical family life beyond the way she sometimes tried to fit society's ideal, the way she had it drilled into throughout her life. but i think she always thought she would have kids eventually. she loves kids, i think she loved having siblings, she loves & values family. mulder's love & dedication to samantha is something that attracted her to him.

in memento mori, when mulder learns that scully's ova is taken from her...she's dying, going through treatment in the hospital that's making her sicker by the day. i don't think mulder could bear giving her that news, not after learning in home that she does want kids. not after her abduction, losing melissa, her cancer. so he waits. and then his hand is forced when scully finds emily and learns she's her biological daughter. scully's hurt that mulder didn't tell her, but i don't think she really faults him for it. she can barely handle the information now, learning it while she had cancer...i can't imagine it, idk how you carry that when you're dying. i don't know how you can fit that in your brain, in your grief when she's about to leave behind her family and mulder. in a way, it doesn't matter when you're dying, but she's never been able to face her abduction and she's being forced to. mulder tries to help her, encourages her to at least talk to the mufon women as an investigator if she can't handle it on a personal level. (the way her voice cracks several times in these conversations. when she says they're not all dead. scully doesn't want to believe she's dying either.) (she calls him first for a reason, she tells skinner with mulder at her side for a reason, she apologizes to skinner for making it awkward/uncomfortable...)

what makes me love it is that...mulder calls what happened to scully medical rape. he yells it at emily's doctor, demanding he help emily, rightly accusing him of malpractice, calling him & anyone involved medical rapists. and that's exactly what they are. they conduct these tests on people, steal women's ova, and use them & their children for more experiments. giving life to these children for the express purpose of experimenting on them, and ultimately killing them or letting them die. it's so sick & twisted & inhumane and you want to believe it unrealistic...but it isn't.

i just think that's really powerful. it's painfully real. it's something doctors & the government have done. and the x files so rarely calls things exactly what they are. mulder directly calling it medical rape — and once again, not forcing scully to confront it until she's ready & it's on her terms — this is a big reason i can't hate it.

i love mulder in emily. he walks into that room, sees scully with emily. sees scully's cross around her neck. he's terrified. he doesn't want scully to be hurt again, and he's afraid that's exactly what's in store for her. he knows emily wasn't born to be loved, to live. she's an experiment to this government conspiracy, a means to an end. but mulder will always do what scully asks of him, and he goes into that meeting determined to convince this judge scully deserves to be with her daughter. he lays out the facts he has, and the judge has a hard time believing it but emily is undeniably her biological daughter. the dna tests prove it.

the way mulder says everything is important too. there's no precedent for case like this. scully had her ova stolen, she can no longer have children. but somehow, unbeknownst to scully until now, emily exists. and scully wants her. it's wrong to keep them apart, to take this chance from scully, to deny this little girl a mother who loves her after she's lost the only parents she knows. scully found emily and she stayed and she fights. she learns about her illness, makes sure she gets the medical care she needs, and does everything she can to find & understand the cause so she can help her. they describe emily as having special needs because of her condition, her "illness."

scully is judged because she has an intense, time consuming, dangerous job. she hasn't had any recent long term serious relationships in the eyes of the law & adoption agency. she's single and how would she take care of emily on her own? at one point, mulder is mistaken for emily's father and he turns away. scully takes it on alone, but she isn't alone. mulder really is there every step of the way. he would do anything for scully, and he would do anything for emily. it's so painful that they can't have this. mulder finds a cure, supposedly anyway. but scully tells him she won't put emily through more tests & pain & experiments. emily wanted it all to stop, and her parents were killed because they were going to stop. scully was prepared to let emily go as peacefully & comfortably as she could. so mulder didn't tell her. another decision i don't think was easy. it wouldn't have ended. even if emily was cured, she wouldn't have been allowed to stay in scully's care. the reality of courts & the conspiracy.

in per manum, we learn scully went to doctors to treat her infertility. once she had her ova, she brought them to a doctor and in vitro might work. and she asks mulder to be her donor. another crazy, beautiful layer to their relationship. scully wouldn't want a random donor, and there's no one she loves more, trusts more than mulder. despite what he hid from her in a futile attempt to protect her. (again, i don't think she really faults him. she almost never does. it's just painful. painful that he would hide anything from her, especially something about herself. but they both know very well how scully struggles to face what's happened to her, and everything goes back to her abduction.) protecting each other is what they do, they just have different methods sometimes. and i don't think there's a way to know what's right until consequences smack you in the face. it's easy to objectively say something is wrong when you aren't the person dealing with the situation, or in hindsight. it's always more complicated when you're facing it in the moment.

like. i just can't hate it when it gives us so many incredible moments. the vulnerability, the gentleness, the compassion, the anger, the pain. it may all be wrapped up in an alien government conspiracy but the connection, the emotion, cancer & infertility, evil...it's all real. there's relief & catharsis, a freedom & safety. it gives a voice to things often buried. it's part of the beauty of the x files, to what mulder & scully do.

and then the reversal...well. i also love that but i'm gonna save it for my william arc post.

[undeadorion]

Conversations recently have reminded just how far I've come. Not just within myself but in my choice of friends. That I'm no longer so scared of being alone or being disliked that I'm strong enough to not immediately accept anyone who wants to talk to me as a friend. That I can protect myself against those who would do me harm.

It allows me the time and energy to actually enjoy the good people in my life. Because the bad would demand so much of my time and attention I had nothing left for the good ones. But the good ones make it easy to share my time with them all because I know I can just be myself around them. I just want to gather you up in my arms and give you a big hug.

I've been looking at some of the people I used to give my time to and I have zero regrets of cutting ties with any of them. Even if at the time it was the hardest thing I'd ever done.

There was Kat who insisted I was her absolute best friend that wasn't her in person best friend. Yet she would only talk to me if she had no one else to talk to. She barely acknowledged me in public and didn't involve me in anything ever. We broke things off when I'd been having an extremely rough night, like sobbing alone at my computer bad. She'd been out drinking that night and started talking at me. When I told her I was upset she told me I should smoke some weed about it. The next day when she was sober I told her that wasn't cool and she got pissed at me. I haven't spoken to her since.

There was Azura who collected people to be her emotional harem. I was the oldest in her personal server by like a decade, which made me uncomfortable already. But the youngest was like 11, which deeply concerned me. When there wasn't enough attention on her, she'd suddenly get upset and start implying she was having suicidal thoughts. I don't take those things lightly so I would be deeply worried about her. I had many late or sleepless nights trying to be there for her, talking her through things. But it got to a point that I could predict when she would start doing it even if she seemed perfectly fine in the moment. Then when I caused too much trouble, she kicked me out of the server. The trouble being I was upset that another person would pester me constantly in DMs after repeatedly telling her to not DM me. And she was constantly trying to force me into non-con roleplay scenarios that halfway through she would try to turn into some sort of weird fluffy romance. She said I wasn't saying "no" forcefully enough because she had ADHD. Azura took her side.

Then there was Beth. The last vestige of my poor choices. I only just cut her off about a month ago. She only really talked to me if she needed someone to compliment her art or if she needed someone to talk at. Another friend said our conversations read like I was trying to talk to an AI they were so weirdly one-sided. Funnily enough, Ghost was the pebble that started the avalanche that ended it all. I was trying harder to talk about stuff I liked in an attempt to make things less one-sided. She basically said "meh" and made the conversation super serious about her in a completely unrelated topic. When I voiced my frustrations about how she treated me, she had the fucking audacity of saying I was making the conversation about me. Which really proved we were only ever allowed to talk about her. And this was all after I'd given her a second chance. Previously we'd gone several months without talking because she'd wildly mis-interpreted my words and decided to hold me secretly responsible for what she decided I'd actually meant. She'd taken "Are you sure that's a good idea?" (context being: not waiting longer for something) and she assumed I meant "You're going to fail." She didn't actually TELL me this, she just didn't respond to me for several days. She already knew I refused to tolerate silent treatment bullshit.

I've been through dozens of "friendships" like this. Toxic beyond all reason. In a way it makes me angry that I allowed myself to be used in so many different ways. But these are old scars. They no longer actually hurt most of the time. They're just a reminder of the shit I've been through. And remembering them makes me so grateful for the amazing friends and people I know today.

Just remember that friends are supposed to lift you up. Not make you dread your chat app notification sound. If thinking about a friend doesn't make your heart feel warm, if you're the sort that gets feelings like that. Friends should make you feel like wrapping up in a cozy blanket on a cold day just thinking about them. They should feel like a cool autumn breeze after a long hot summer. They should make you feel like life is worth living.

If someone insists they're your friend, consider whether they make your life better just by existing in it. Because I promise you, people who claim to be friends who don't do that are not your friends. They're not worth the time they demand of you. Find people who will be a warm light (or comforting darkness if you're into that) instead of people who sink their claws into.

[worflesbian]

things i liked about strange new worlds:

the costumes (aside from the starfleet uniform) were so intricate and cool!

the alien designs, especially the practical effects and makeup, were inventive but not overdone

it tried to take a lighter tone than the prevailing edginess of current sci fi, there were some fun moments and genuinely good character stuff bc of that

things i disliked about strange new worlds:

okay i've got to give the context of the journey i went on with this one. i didn't initially like how chapel, uhura and t'pring were written bc the first two were basically brand new characters and t'pring's inclusion messes with continuity so badly, but i found myself being won over by the seemingly honest intention to give more screentime and depth to the otherwise underutilised women of 60s trek. that's an admirable goal! i didn't like how they had to rewrite uhura and chapel's personalities to achieve it but i still respected the intention. until several things became clear to me: firstly, the writers of snw are far better at lighthearted writing than serious drama, and secondly, they cover up that deficit by taking their cues from soap operas. i think other people have mentioned that giving every single character a tragic backstory is not a shortcut for writing realistic sympathetic people (this was the main problem they had with uhura), and that relationship drama and love triangles is not a solution to not knowing what to do with your female characters (the main problem with chapel and t'pring), but it stands to be said again because it's so fucking frustrating! why bring in uhura only to kill off her loved ones and make her suffer needlessly? why bring in t'pring under the guise of developing her relationship with spock only to have him leave her for chapel? why bring in chapel and rewrite her as a hashtag girlboss looking to advance her career if she's theoretically going to end up still a nurse on the enterprise pining for spock by tos? there's no reason or purpose to the plotlines so they just feel aimless

m'benga, una and la'an also suffered from needless tragedies, as well as the writers' difficulty tackling serious subject matter. i liked the plotline with m'benga's daughter and the pre-holodeck holodeck episode that concluded it, but the man got no time to grieve or adjust to the loss before they threw him into a war trauma plotline. una's main character moment was a weaker version of several stronger trial episodes in past trek that came very close to saying something slightly challenging (to the average trek viewer) about race but apparently forgot the real reason that eugenics are bad, and have been bad long before fictional warlord khan noonien-singh was on the scene. la'an's gorn trauma plotline was, like many of snw's "serious" episodes, ripped directly from better sci fi. like i could've been watching aliens. aliens is a good film. ortegas got very little to do and pike isn't really worth talking about as i think the writers know he's not that interesting and tend to sideline him anyway, so aside from hemmer (rip) and spock (it's all been said) that's the full cast and it's all pretty disappointing!

i'll also say that while i enjoyed the lighthearted episodes more, the only one that i felt was actually warranted or contributed meaningfully the overall season was the body swap episode in s1, but then in s2 they repeated the same formula with a far weaker episode so even that's lost its shine for me. politically the show is a mess as many others have explained (the whole gorn thing...) and when it comes close to making a point it always seems to flinch away into a marketing-approved federation optimism that feels way more sinister than it ever did in tng for the fact that it's obviously Trying to keep you from thinking too deeply about anything. the number of gimmick episodes they've already done in two short seasons is indicative of a fundamental lack of substance that they're trying to cover up with whimsy but it just feels unearned and imbalanced. shallow hijinks or vapid angst, void of meaning.

so yeah now that discovery's concluded with its fifth season, stp is dead and gone, and prodigy is cancelled it's only strange new worlds and lower decks left and although i believe lower decks relies a lot on references to older trek (i've not seen it) it's not inserted itself awkwardly into some past era of the timeline, nor is it bogged down with legacy characters, meaning strange new worlds is the last remaining pillar of the reboot remake rehash industrial complex in current trek and i hope you'll join me in wishing for its downfall 🤞

[graciliss]

seraphina shaw - character information

EDIT: this reference sheet is old and I no longer use this account (for now). for seraphina's latest reference sheet, click here

HELLO EVERYONE IT'S FINALLY HERE. ignore how I said this'd be finished by halloween bc that turned out to be a fucking lie

anyways <3 new OC. this is seraphina and she's been stewing for a pretty long time. she's a part of the hellcrew (which is lead by @sanityisforlosers but I'm sure you know. check his shit out if you don't know though please and thank you)

info below the read more cut! please click the image for higher quality.

GENERAL

name: seraphina shaw alias: N/A nickname(s): sera gender: female (trans, mtf) pronouns: she/her

age: 24 (agelocked), 41 (actual age) date of birth: 7 november, 1981 date of death: 13 september, 2006 location of birth: glasgow, scotland location of death: glasgow, scotland cause of death: two gunshots in the back

race: white ethnicity: scottish species: human (formerly), entity (current) sexual orientation: pansexual relationship status: single. seraphina claims to be ‘above’ romance

TYPE OF KILLER

seraphina shaw is a demonic entity primarily known for her knack for prolonged torture, which in most (but not all) cases leads to death. all harm inflicted upon her victims is done within a torture room she herself has set up. 

seraphina has no particular type in mind when picking victims out, but they most often are individuals in the range of 18-25. they can be older, but are never younger. within the captive time, the victim will endure physical, psychological and sexual torture. oftentimes, the victim either succumbs to their attained injuries or due to neglect.

notably, seraphina keeps track of how long she has kept her victims in what would be angel numbers if it weren’t for her victims not making it past double digits. these would include days 11, 22, 33, etc… while the anguish caused does make seraphina stronger, what she does is purely with the goal of satisfying her whimful desires, and the primary reason for it all is for her own enjoyment.

while she has amassed plenty of tools to her disposal, her go-to weapon remains a blade that, while closely resembling a flat-ended carving knife, appears to be several inches longer than the average blade of that category. a gun does the trick if necessary too, though.

PERSONALITY

loud, crass, hedonistic. all words that describe seraphina accurately. she is the kind of woman who puts her own needs first before thinking of anybody else (if she does at all). such attitude would normally not pass, but seraphina carries herself with enough swagger and is charismatic enough to often get away with her often ludicrous endeavours.

she can be alarmingly easy to get along with, her natural charisma and flirtatious personality making her less desirable traits appear more like manageable quirks at first. 

seraphina has a notable disdain for authority and deeply dislikes being told what to do. tell her to do one thing and she will do the opposite purely to spite you. paired with this rebellious nature is her urge for excessive, lethal indulgence; sex, booze, drugs, murder. little is off limits in her books, and her inappropriate behaviour could nearly equate to insanity. however, seraphina thinks clearly, is self aware and instead simply does not care for her amorality or its consequences.

despite her seemingly outgoing personality, seraphina is surprisingly closed off. while amiable on a surface level, getting to know her on a more personal level is incredibly difficult due to her refusal to speak of her past, or to open up emotionally. this is due to a lot of her zaniness heavily being played up and exaggerated, nearly as a character of sorts. in reality, she is rather dry and especially terminally bored with a lot of things. this leads to a negative feedback loop in which she continues to edge towards further extremes just to keep herself engaged.

APPEARANCE

from head to toe, seraphina strives to exude one thing, and that is sex appeal. she wouldn’t actually have to do much, as her appearance already is quite striking: albinism renders her chin-length hair a near-white blonde and her skin as pale as can be. her eyes are a lilac colour, the hue taking up the entirety of her eyes, leaving no distinguishment between sclera, iris or pupil (a feature inherent to entities).

much taller than average, she stands at 6’3”, and her height can often vary depending on the high heeled boots she wears. while appearing feminine, dainty would be the wrong word to describe her. being robust in build, however, does not subtract from her grace, instead serving to embolden her boisterous demeanour.

choices of clothing either fall under the following: leather or latex, and the tighter-fit, the better. contrasting her complexion, she most often wears black, but isn’t afraid to wear a splash of colour (the colour of choice often being purple, which matches her eyes, or red). despite seemingly dressing to impress, there still seems to be a modicum of practicality to some of her outfit choices. enough space in her clothes to conceal a weapon, heels often sturdy enough to be able to run in. most importantly: she exudes an intimidating aura.

a notable feature is a pair of bullet wounds on her upper back, which appear to be aligned surprisingly symmetrically. she jokingly claims it’s ‘where her angel wings used to be’.

RELATIONSHIPS

in life:

unspecified mother and father (deceased) several unspecified romantic partners (status unclear)

in hell:

seamus wrynn (© me lol) - the man seraphina died to. despite all the events that have happened between them previously, they both seem alarmingly unbothered by their history and instead are friends. seamus claims that she was one of his ‘favourite’ helpers.

julius doherty (© @sanityisforlosers) - the demon seraphina is a proxy to. the two of them appear to get along quite well.

killian lynch (© @sanityisforlosers) - fellow proxy. weirdly enough, the two get along decently. however, due to the both of them being the way they are, they aren’t particularly close.

kelly duffy (© @sanityisforlosers) - fellow proxy. despite past seamus-related incidents, they seem to get on just fine.

BACKGROUND

having grown up in poverty-stricken glasgow in the 90’s, life was destined to be rough for seraphina. being born in a run-down neighbourhood and surrounded by heroin exposed her to hardship early on, and it played a big part in the way she is today. she was a troublemaker from the start, frequently getting into physical altercation and consuming substances at a relatively young age.

having realised that something wasn’t quite right in her teenage years, she still suppressed feelings of gender incongruence both out of denial and a fear of being fully expelled from her social circles.

at 19, she eventually came out and started living her truth as a trans woman, effectively leading to her being cut off from everybody she knew. due to her consumerist tendencies and severe addiction to gambling, seraphina got into pretty bad debt and lives in a financially precarious position.

desperate for money, she took up a rather suspiciously well-paying offer in which she was required to assist in unspecified photography. this later turned out to be help with seamus wrynn’s latest snuff-adjacent project. initially horrified, she considered opting out. however, much to her initial horror, money ended up not being the only thing that enticed her into staying. as she was beginning to enjoy this more and more, her behaviour became increasingly more out of line and more difficult for seamus to manage. now inconvenienced, seamus killed seraphina by shooting her twice in the back after she attempted to sexually assault him.

due to unclear reasons (presumably because seamus considered her to be one of his favourite ‘assistants’), seraphina was brought back from the dead as an undead entity and now is a proxy to julius the dressmaker.

MISCELLANEOUS

🌟 seraphina has albinism. as a human, she struggled quite a bit due to the condition and a lack of general accommodation. as a demon, however, the drawbacks of her condition are rendered null.

🌟 upon being brought back from the dead, julius assisted seraphina with her medical transition, being the one to give her gender affirming surgery.

🌟 seraphina was initially intended to be written as a cis woman. however, upon examining her involvement with seamus and the events leading up to it, I sniffed out a metaphor for queer self-discovery (although under very dark circumstances). however, if she had been written as such not much about her character’s base premise would have actually changed.

🌟 her name was initially supposed to be seraphine. however, it was changed to seraphina because it flowed more nicely into her surname

🌟 she wasn’t actually supposed to be a standalone horror character at first. her initial role was to serve as a protagonist for one of the stories planned for seamus, but I grew attached to her quite quickly and found that she had more potential.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for helping my ex wife's daughter mercilessly strike down all who dare oppose her?

Hello there, peasan- er... denizens of "Reddit." I hate to have to come here in the name of argumentation, but it's unfortunately become a necessity.

For some context, I (permanently 20s F) am deceased. I have been deceased for a long time. It is actually the aforementioned daughter (8F), a spirit medium, typing this post. Everyone say hi to her and/or shower her with compliments before I strike you down too.

To explain the context behind me and my ex-wife's (30s, GNC F) relationship: we were childhood best friends. Inseparable, really. I'd kill for him and he would have done the same for me. We had feelings for each other, but unfortunately because of my position in society we were unable to pursue them and pined from a distance. Regardless, however, we were close.

That is... at least until things went wrong. You see, in what was an attempt at a sweet gesture, really, he bestowed me an (unbeknownst to him) cursed artifact. Aforementioned cursed artifact slowly fried my brain over time and I begun to be warped into someone unrecognizable. At first, it wasn't all bad— for one I stopped caring about my "position in society" and pursued him (This is where the WIFE part of "ex-wife" comes in), but on the other hand I began indiscriminately murdering anyone who opposed me, stealing some... er, things that weren't mine (Don't worry about it. Irrelevant to this scenario, really), and eventually tried to kill him too.

Because of this, I was put down. And... fair! For a while I had tumultuous feelings about this; but once more, this isn't about that, and with the introduction of his daughter, who I'll call P, things are much less despondent than they used to be, even existing as a wraith.

P was grown by S (30s F), my wife's current wife, in a test tube following some sort of lapse in judgment and severe mental health episode… but it was a happy accident, really. Despite the interesting circumstances of her birth, P is beloved by everyone around her, most of all her family.

A little over half a year ago, P was in a terrible accident. She only survived because I (And some other ghost hardly worth mentioning) intervened and helped retether her to her body. Now, thankfully, she's healed more or less completely, but the incident overloaded her with a certain type of magic, awakening latent powers, and she began to form a connection with the realm of the dead.

That's how I met her. She began seeing me (And that other ghost still not worth mentioning) and trying to interact with us. Initially, I had no real interest in pursuing a friendship with her— she reopened old wounds and reminded me of the life I'd never get to have with my ex-wife. But eventually, slowly but surely, she won me over with her wit, kindness and charm. She's a wonderful girl.

Through her, I was able to make amends with my ex-wife (I'm sane now, if you couldn't tell). We're on good terms now, and there are no hard feelings about the situation. He understands I wasn't in my right mind and that I'm deeply apologetic, and I understand that he never intended for things to turn out the way they did.

I'm even on good terms with his current wife, which is once something I never thought possible. We're all close, and all have P's best interests in mind.

...Which brings us to our current issue

P is not well-liked by her peers. She's seen as strange and offputting, and her heritage does not help her reputation. Her parents are both "problematic," having done some "flagrantly evil" things, and her father, especially, is disliked where she lives. Back in the day he and I "destroyed countless lives” or whatever, and people are STILL unfortunately holding that grudge, even taking it out on his child.

The other children, of course, weren't there for any of this. They weren't even born yet! But having heard tales from their parents, their resentment has been passed down, and because of this, unfortunately, P gets picked on.

They call her terrible things— "zombie girl," "half-monster, half-machine" (her mother is a cyborg. Once again irrelevant to this conversation). Sometimes they even insinuate the place they live would have been better off if she HAD died or try to start physical altercations.

It was during one of these incidents that she first summoned me as a semi-physical apparition. Terrified and desperate, her spirit synced with my own outraged spirit, and she was able to manifest me into the world for a brief period of time.

I, of course, cast chain lightning on her tormentors, and shouted that if they messed with her again I'd end their wretched lives.

Now, to be clear, I didn't actually harm the little brats. Just... singed them a little. Really, they should be grateful I wasn't more cutthroat. Back in MY day children would attempt to skewer each other in front of a live audience for political power. In comparison, this was nothing! Just a few nightmares, probably. No harm, no foul.

Ever since then, P has been indiscriminately summoning me every time someone messes with her, and every time it's the same. She summons me and I make a huge show of attacking them, scaring the wretches away.

It's fun, really. P loves it. She always laughs afterwards and we jeer about how fast they ran from the "terrifying evil queen."

But my ex-wife and S found out, and they've told me I might be going a little too far.

They agree that anyone messing with P is inexcusable, but feel like I’m probably just getting her into more trouble by garnering her a reputation for accosting people with “the horrifying specter of an evil tyrant.” Additionally, they worry I’m appealing to her hubris just a little too much and that I may be teaching her bad habits. Something-something "What if she attacks someone she really shouldn’t? We don't want her to think this is something she can do at the drop of a hat."

But I disagree! I think this is something she should be able to do whenever and however she wants. I was picked on as a child myself, you know. Slowly but surely it changed me from a bold, fearless person to someone terrified of criticism. I see a lot of my younger self in P, and I don't want the same thing to happen to her. I want her to know that anyone who messes with her is utterly worthless, and that it's well within her right to destroy them. She could kill someone, frankly, and I'd still be cheering her on.

AITA? Please debate whether or not I'm damaging her future prospects or, in contrast, giving the little angel the tools she needs to get by. Thanks in advance for your common sense and support.

[lemonhemlock]

https://twitter.com/itadorimaid/status/1618940932812083200?t=fbHXYyIphhYCxL5CDQ_1Og&s=19

Greetings , any thoughts on this? I do think there are some contradictions in Daemon's actions so you could argue either side.

Another old ask and I'm gonna try and answer this as indulgently as possible for the sake of old man GRRM who really wants us to like Daemon. So there's a lot of (insufferable) narrative bias with which GRRM surrounds Daemon, while insisting that he is equal parts light and dark and whatever. IMO that may be true for the Daemon that lives inside GRRM's head, but when it comes to what he actually wrote on the page, things get a lot murkier.

Nevertheless, I do not think there was authorial intent into making Daemon an absolute monster, a sociopath, a sadist, a villain and a devil, like ChatGPT would say if you were to piss it off. But, in that vein, it would be a fair assessment to assert Daemon is a schemer. A plot hatcher. He can reasonably construct plans for the short and medium term. However, they are often foiled in some way. So he regroups and tries again. He can't get out of his first marriage, tries to take a second wife, is denied, so he kills Rhea and frees himself. He can't get Rhaenyra for his wife, so he marries Laena, the next best thing. He is denied as heir, so he marries Rhaenyra, the heir. If you listen to Ryan Condal, he can't be with his brother, so he gets together with his niece instead, etc.

However, I don't think Daemon is the best at long-term planning. He is not a Littlefinger/Varys type of character to sit pen-in-hand and painstakingly plan out an entire plot spanning years and years, carefully moving each piece on the board at the opportune moment, constantly calculating several scenarios playing out. He truly is an agent of chaos. He's more come-as-you-are, take-it-as-it-goes, more of an improviser.

It's also important to note that in the books, Daemon is linked to 4 ? different murders: Rhea, the son of the Sealord of Braavos, Harwin and Laenor. They had him outright murder Rhea in the show, but I hear people contesting this for the books. I wouldn't bet all my money on it. Yes, he is fighting in the Stepstones when Rhea dies, but that doesn't mean he couldn't have hired an assassin. I say this because he is fighting in a literal war, his own war, and he drops everything to rush to the Vale to claim Rhea's inheritance, an act so outright rude that Lady Jeyne has to literally kick him out of the Vale. Now, this is a woman he deeply dislikes, whom he hasn't seen in ages. I am not buying this whole idea that he came to Runestone to arrange her funeral. Rhea has her own family for that, she doesn't need Daemon. News also doesn't travel instantly in Westeros, so somehow Daemon got to the Vale just in time for Lady Jeyne to still be settling the Royce succession. It's at least a little fishy.

The son of the Sealord of Braavos he openly kills in a duel for Laena's hand. With Harwin and Laenor's deaths he is linked. Now, I'm not even saying the author necessarily intended for Daemon to be responsible for all of these people's deaths, but it's very suspicious that all these events are so convenient for Daemon and he profits so much off them. So, I definitely think it was authorial intent for us to become aware this is a dangerous person, an ambitious character, and most likely even a ruthless one, who will go all the way if he needs to. I really, really don't think we were supposed to look at this context and conclude Daemon is a poor misunderstood malewife, done dirty by historians.

Perhaps Daemon's PR image in the fandom would have been different had he outright killed Laenor, instead of becoming the most unlikely gay rights activist. But his stans' insistence that Jace, Luke and Joffrey would be 100% safe in Daemon's hands and not even take this possibility into account is absurd.

I'm not of the belief that Daemon was plotting to have them murdered since they were babes at Rhaenyra's breast or even ever since he married her. But does he really have to? I do believe that he does love Rhaenyra as much as he understands love and wouldn't outright do something as awful until he absolutely had to or at least he would try to postpone it. A lot of things can happen until Rhaenyra ascends, that he might not even have to get his hands dirty in the first place. Her bastards might get outed somehow. They might die somehow, without Daemon's intervention. Rhaenyra herself might die in childbed or by disease. Daemon might die, in which case he doesn't have to worry himself further. Maybe Daemon and Rhaenyra only have girl children, etc. As it happened, the war killed off the Strong boys and Daemon didn't even have to do anything.

However, if Rhaenyra were crowned and they came to the problem of her heir - I think this is the time Daemon might start plotting. They've had their honeymoon holiday period, but I very much doubt Daemon would sit idle while a bastard takes the throne away from his firstborn, who just so happens to be Rhaenyra's actual legal heir. Now, I think murder would be a last resort for Daemon, but I don't think he'd shy away from it, though I could see him trying to subversively work behind the scenes to create unrest at the idea of the Strong boys being in the line of succession as obvious bastards. Rhaenyra could somehow be forced by the political situation to disinherit them and name Aegon the Younger heir. Problem solved. If not, well, accidents can happen. Assassins can be hired. Luke, for example, would be in Driftmark surrounded by Velaryon "cousins" who have every reason to hate his guts. Maybe he falls down the stairs one day. Maybe a combination of all of these things.

This doesn't preclude Daemon for feeling regret for his actions, but he has already done many things he would regret later (like his fights with Viserys, his many exiles), but still went through with them because, in his head, he believed he was doing the right thing. And putting a pure, legitimate Targaryen prince on the throne would definitely feel like doing the right thing to Daemon.

Also? He could still kill those three and feel sorry afterwards! Those things are not mutually exclusive. And it would fall into the whole conflict of the human heart, because he would be doing it for his own son. The motive is there and it's very alluring.

There's also the argument that he wouldn't need to, because his blood would already be on the throne, with Baela as Queen. But being the Queen's father isn't the same as being the King's father. And!! He could be both! What's to say he couldn't marry Baela to Aegon III? Baela was born in 116 AC and Aegon in 120 AC - there's a 4 year age difference between them in the books.

So to address the points in that tweet:

"brother legitimize lucerys claim to the driftmark throne" - It would look mighty strange if, at that point in time, he wouldn't be supporting his own wife in hiding her sons' illegitimacy from the world. 🤷‍♀️ Luke is, honestly, the easiest target. By all means, let him rule over Driftmark and let his Velaryon "relatives" assassinate him themselves. Daemon doesn't even have to lift a finger for this one.

"an eye for an eye, a son for a son. lucerys shall be avenged." + k words toddlers for lucerys - This honestly feeds into Daemon's disposition towards cruelty more than anything. If he were truly seeking retributive justice, he would have targeted Aemond, Luke's actual killer. Anything else is not justice, regardless of how Daemon tries to paint it. Not to mention that the actual retribution was way disproportionate to the crime.

k words aemond - But Aemond wasn't killed for Luke, that's the whole point, that's what makes B&C so atrocious and evil. By that time, Aemond was a military threat for the blacks that Daemon was neutralizing. To think that Daemon went to God's Eye set on avenging Luke yet again (even though he had already done that once, inordinately, too?) is a spurious reading.

[gracilissart]

HORROR OC - Seraphina Shaw

well! I finally got around to making a proper ref sheet for seraphina. now I need to redo that of seamus 🤕 all info is below the cut!

be warned: this reference sheet contains discussion of prolonged torture and sexual violence, so if these topics are triggering or upsetting to you I advise you not to read further. additionally; this is a horror character. I don't condone her actions nor do I share my OCs' views. my work is created to horrify and disturb. please do not glamorise my horror OCs' actions.

GENERAL

name: seraphina shaw alias: N/A nickname(s): sera gender: female (trans, mtf) pronouns: she/her

age: 24 (agelocked), 41 (actual age) date of birth: 7 november, 1981 date of death: 13 september, 2006 location of birth: glasgow, scotland location of death: glasgow, scotland cause of death: two gunshots in the back

race: white ethnicity: scottish species: human (formerly), entity (current) sexual orientation: pansexual relationship status: single. seraphina claims to be ‘above’ romance

MURDER: METHOD AND CLASSIFICATION

seraphina shaw is a demonic entity primarily known for her knack for prolonged torture, which in most (but not all) cases leads to death. all harm inflicted upon her victims is done within a torture room she herself has set up. 

seraphina has no particular type in mind when picking victims out, but they most often are individuals in the range of 18-25. they can be older, but are never younger. within the captive time, the victim will endure physical, psychological and sexual torture. oftentimes, the victim either succumbs to their attained injuries or due to neglect.

notably, seraphina keeps track of how long she has kept her victims in what would be angel numbers if it weren’t for her victims not making it past double digits. these would include days 11, 22, 33, etc… while the anguish caused does make seraphina stronger, what she does is purely with the goal of satisfying her whimful desires, and the primary reason for it all is for her own enjoyment.

while she has amassed plenty of tools to her disposal, her go-to weapon remains a blade that, while closely resembling a flat-ended carving knife, appears to be several inches longer than the average blade of that category. a gun does the trick if necessary too, though.

PERSONALITY

loud, crass, hedonistic. all words that describe seraphina accurately. she is the kind of woman who puts her own needs first before thinking of anybody else (if she does at all). such attitude would normally not pass, but seraphina carries herself with enough swagger and is charismatic enough to often get away with her often ludicrous endeavours.

she can be alarmingly easy to get along with, her natural charisma and flirtatious personality making her less desirable traits appear more like manageable quirks at first. 

seraphina has a notable disdain for authority and deeply dislikes being told what to do. tell her to do one thing and she will do the opposite purely to spite you. paired with this rebellious nature is her urge for excessive, lethal indulgence; sex, booze, drugs, murder. little is off limits in her books, and her inappropriate behaviour could nearly equate to insanity. however, seraphina thinks clearly, is self aware and instead simply does not care for her amorality or its consequences.

despite her seemingly outgoing personality, seraphina is surprisingly closed off. while amiable on a surface level, getting to know her on a more personal level is incredibly difficult due to her refusal to speak of her past, or to open up emotionally. this is due to a lot of her zaniness heavily being played up and exaggerated, nearly as a character of sorts. in reality, she is rather dry and especially terminally bored with a lot of things. this leads to a negative feedback loop in which she continues to edge towards further extremes just to keep herself engaged.

APPEARANCE

from head to toe, seraphina strives to exude one thing, and that is sex appeal. she wouldn’t actually have to do much, as her appearance already is quite striking: albinism renders her chin-length hair a near-white blonde and her skin as pale as can be. her eyes are a lilac colour, the hue taking up the entirety of her eyes, leaving no distinguishment between sclera, iris or pupil (a feature inherent to entities).

much taller than average, she stands at 6’3”, and her height can often vary depending on the high heeled boots she wears. while appearing feminine, dainty would be the wrong word to describe her. being robust in build, however, does not subtract from her grace, instead serving to embolden her boisterous demeanour.

choices of clothing either fall under the following: leather or latex, and the tighter-fit, the better. contrasting her complexion, she most often wears black, but isn’t afraid to wear a splash of colour (the colour of choice often being purple, which matches her eyes, or red). despite seemingly dressing to impress, there still seems to be a modicum of practicality to some of her outfit choices. enough space in her clothes to conceal a weapon, heels often sturdy enough to be able to run in. most importantly: she exudes an intimidating aura.

a notable feature is her symmetrical back tattoo, which covers up the pair of gunshot scars on her back. it is done in a cyber-sigil style and depicts a spine with a pair of wings on each shoulder blade.

RELATIONSHIPS

in life:

unknown

in hell:

seamus wrynn (© me lol) - the man seraphina died to. despite all the events that have happened between them previously, they both seem alarmingly unbothered by their history and instead are friends. seamus claims that she was one of his ‘favourite’ helpers.

julius doherty (© @sanityisforlosers) - the demon seraphina is a proxy to. the two of them appear to get along quite well.

killian lynch (© @sanityisforlosers) - fellow proxy. the two get along disturbingly well due to their somewhat similar personalities, and there appears to be some modicum of mutual respect between the two.

kelly duffy (© @sanityisforlosers) - fellow proxy. despite past seamus-related incidents, they seem to get on just fine and feed into each other's chaotic behaviour.

BACKGROUND

having grown up in poverty-stricken glasgow in the 90’s, life was destined to be rough for seraphina. being born in a run-down neighbourhood and surrounded by heroin exposed her to hardship early on, and it played a big part in the way she is today. she was a troublemaker from the start, frequently getting into physical altercation and consuming substances at a relatively young age.

having realised that something wasn’t quite right in her teenage years, she still suppressed feelings of gender incongruence both out of denial and a fear of being fully expelled from her social circles.

at 19, she eventually came out and started living her truth as a trans woman, effectively leading to her being cut off from everybody she knew. due to her consumerist tendencies and severe addiction to gambling, seraphina got into pretty bad debt and lives in a financially precarious position.

desperate for money, she took up a rather suspiciously well-paying offer in which she was required to assist in unspecified photography. this later turned out to be help with seamus wrynn’s latest snuff-adjacent project. initially horrified, she considered opting out. however, much to her initial horror, money ended up not being the only thing that enticed her into staying. as she was beginning to enjoy this more and more, her behaviour became increasingly more out of line and more difficult for seamus to manage. now inconvenienced, seamus killed seraphina by shooting her twice in the back after she attempted to sexually assault him.

due to unclear reasons (presumably because seamus considered her to be one of his favourite ‘assistants’), seraphina was brought back from the dead as an undead entity and now is a proxy to julius the dressmaker.

MISCELLANEOUS

🌟 seraphina has albinism. as a human, she struggled quite a bit due to the condition and a lack of general accommodation. as a demon, however, the drawbacks of her condition are rendered null.

🌟 upon being brought back from the dead, julius assisted seraphina with her medical transition, being the one to give her gender affirming surgery.

🌟 seraphina was initially intended to be written as a cis woman. however, upon examining her involvement with seamus and the events leading up to it, I sniffed out a metaphor for queer self-discovery (although under very dark circumstances).

🌟 her name was initially supposed to be seraphine. however, it was changed to seraphina because it flowed more nicely with her surname

🌟 she wasn’t actually supposed to be a standalone horror character at first. her initial role was to serve as a protagonist for one of the stories planned for seamus, but I grew attached to her quite quickly and found that she had more potential.

[lizzypotter14]

This is my first fan fic.  Thanks @chelseagirl98 for all the support. It meant the world.

WINTER CONFESSIONS (C. PULISIC)

Warning: fluff 

C.Pulisic/fem reader

Standing by the window, Christian looks at the street covered in a 1” or 2” of snow. Bringing a cup of coffee to his lips, a genuine smile grazing his features; he looks at peace with himself and the world.  A pair of arms snakes themselves around his waist, and his smile grows wider.

“I cannot believe you risked driving in these conditions. Your car doesn’t have the appropriate tires for it”, says Christian, not really annoyed by the fact but more concerned from it

.Y/N slowly turns around to face Christian, placing a quick kiss on his cheek and rolling her eyes simultaneously.  “Last night was perfectly drivable.  Between my work and you back on the team for training, we barely spent time with each other”, she responded and grabbed the cup of coffee from Chris hands taking a sip and making a face at it.  “I really don’t know how you can drink that”, y/n said making her way to the kettle.

Christian laughs and takes a sit at the kitchen island watching y/n move around, comfortably, in his kitchen.  Your relationship is fairly new and you both are still exploring your likes and dislikes. If someone will have told Christian that he will meet his girlfriend out of a contest by TRIVAGO to attend a Chelsea home game and then meet some players, he will have laugh back at your face. But here we are, 8 months later into this adventure, and getting stronger every day.

Christian keeps his watch on you.  You are his perfect match or so he believes.  You are both homebodies, enjoy the same things, and best of all, y/n gets along with his teammates, his childhood friends, and his family.  The relationship has progressed and moved in a good place, and he loves the pace that you both have set.  Just recently, the dynamic has changed, with both spending nights at each other flats.

“Christian…Christian…Chris?” y/n kept calling him; a concern expression on her face.  Startled, Chris realized that he has zoned out for a little bit and y/n has been trying to get his attention for some time.

“Oh sorry.  Just space out”, Christian responds.

Y/n comes closer and asked, “Is everything okay? Are you heading for training soon? she asks holding Christian’s cheeks with both hands.

Christian is still staring at y/n eyes and suddenly blurts…are you happy with us?”  Startled, y/n doesn’t know how to respond.  She opens and closes her mouth several times, but no words come forward.  Realizing his mistake as tears start pooling in y/n eyes, he drops from the kitchen island and embrace y/n tightly.  “Sorry babe, that came all wrong”

.“Are you done with us, Chris?”, y/n asked quietly from his chest.

“No, baby.  I’m sorry if it came like that. I love you so much and want to keep moving forward.  I still have much to learn about relationships”, Christian says holding y/n even tighter.

“Then, why did you ask if I was happy?”, y/n asked moving away from the embrace to look directly into Christian’s eyes.

With a long sigh, Christian rubs both hands in his face and looks at y/n… “I’m so in love with you and it scares me deeply.  Before you came to find me, I was looking outside and daydreamed about taking you home to Hershey in a day like this one, playing in the cold snow, making snow families, cuddling by the fire at my parent’s house, and enjoying our time together. I understand that we are still new to this, and that my profession is not the easiest to deal with, but I want a future with you. I can picture it clearly; as clearly as you are right in front of me”, he said placing a kiss in y/n closed eyes and nose

.Happy tears rolled down y/n face.  “You are a great boyfriend, Christian Mate Pulisic.  Please don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Just like you, I’m scare of my strong feelings for you, but I’m pretty sure that together, we can overcome any obstacles heading our way.  All that we can do is take one step at a time, love”, y/n said planting a firm kiss on Chris’ lips.  “By the way, I will love to spend some time with you and your family in Pennsylvania. Your mom’s family pictures from winters' pasts are just adorable”.“Now, at what time is your training session?  You need to get ready and take your time driving there”, y/n said with a mischievous glint in her eyes.“Very funny, love.  I just need to grab my bag and the car keys and head out.  Will you…are you…”, Christian stammers unable to finish his sentence.But y/n knew exactly what he was asking for.  “I will be here when you comeback, Chris.  We can spend the rest of the day watching a show in Netflix”.  And with that, Chris grabs his bag, keys, and gives y/n a kiss and a wave goodbye. 

[obeymematches]

Hello! Are you taking matchup requests? If yes, I'd like to send one in for Obey Me. I'd like a pina colada please

I'll go by ⭐. My pronouns are she/her and I'm demisexual

Appearance: I am South Asian with long wavy black hair. Usually tie my hair in a half ponytail at the back because I like how it looks and I don't really like the feeling of hair on my shoulders. I am 165 cm tall and reasonably fit

Personality: I'm calm, collected and hardworking. I can be a bit aloof and arrogant sometimes, but I make sure it doesn't get out of hand. I am curious and perfectionistic, and I'm also pretty academically smart (though I sometimes struggle with impostor syndrome lol). The gifted kid burnout syndrome is catching up, though. People say I do have a bit of a cold facade, but once they get to know me, they say I'm much warmer and gentler than they initially thought. I care deeply for my friends and my family, so I'll do whatever I can for them. I do face a lot of pressures too from having to be the perfect oldest daughter, the therapist friend (despite psychology not being my major, more of a special interest) and from having to do well in school (as much as I enjoy engineering, it is kicking my ass low-key). It may not look like it, but I'm very much a romantic, but I'm more practical about it if that makes any sense 😅😅

I often bake my closest friends and family a cake on their birthday with a silly message written on it. I also has a soft spot (special interest) for outer space and love to stargaze wherever the skies are clear. Don't know if this is important, but I do make some pretty mean South Asian food if I do say so myself

Likes: Books, herbal tea, art, lofi hip-hop, video games, anime, drawing, spicy food, affogato, outer space

Dislikes: Incompetence, unnecessary conflicts, bullies, fake friends dishonesty, cruelty, dog-eared book pages, anyone who dares threaten my family, loud noises, itchy fabrics

oh! we've done an exchange not too long ago.

I've decided to match you with Solomon.

• Your academia vibes definitely match his; don’t get me wrong, although he is a master of many things, unfortunately he isn’t a fashion icon (yet?) but he thinks academia style looks elegant / cute depending on the day. • It just means that he is attracted to you at first sight. Which is always a good start, even if you don’t elope into a long talk the very first time you meet. • (Bet she looking 🔥 when she feels comfortable and cute!) • To be fair he isn’t here to make friends with humans; he was fine neglecting the human world for several decades. He isn’t going to care more, now that another human is here…. but curiosity got the best of him and eventually he made sure to meet you before classes. (No. He didn’t attend that class.) • After your quick chat it became a weekly habit of his, to meet you there and then, start some kind of conversation (you’d think he was awkward and you’d be very wrong. Listen he communicates and manipluates his ways into forming a pact with almost every person there.) • It only starts getting awkward when he starts to like your personality for real real. For example this week he arrived 5 mins earlier and was waiting for you. • After a while you two found yourselves in front of your class’s door 20 minutes (!) before it would begin. Huh. • He liked your cold facade ngl, he likes a challenge. However, his ice cold frozen heart slowly, very slowly starts to melt as you warm up to him more and more. • He learned that you are reliable and trustworthy, which he very much appreciates. It lowkey made him want to get closer to you, I mean spiritually. Please help him with this or that, let me show you something, you must see this, etc. • This went on for months, you were truly good friends when he asked you the question you were excited to hear; Would you date me? Shall we go on a date? • Of course he jokes about it being a human thing and at first you can’t tell if hes just being funny or he is serious…. • By now he figured out that you like romantic stuff so if you agree to date him he is going to make the first date romantic just to please you! Possibly stargazing as you like that, or maybe a museum if you are not comfortable with meeting at night. • He secretly craved for a long time to have this level of intimacy with someone and so he’d make sure to please you; whatever you r love language is he does it to make you feel loved and secure! • The fact that you can and will cook is going to be life saving in the long run! • Some downsides of this relationship include him making dog ears to some of the books, he is always up to no good, very known public image so it’s hard to go out in public without anyone stopping you two (in the devildom, the human realm is safe).

My second option for you was Barbatos, honestly the only downside of that relationship is that neither of you is going to start and try to have a good conversation…. so it’s a rocky beginning, but if you get past that phase somehow, it’s going to be pretty solid if I do say so myself.

[mongoose-bite]

This isn't that relevant but I just never remember to take screenshots. Paladin moment! And you can see Wyll's lil face in the background if you squint. I anticipate a playthrough where we both have dogshit strength being pretty funny.

Did Faye go party after talking to Halsin? Of course she didn't. My girl will not rest while innocents need saving, and I did just fast travel out without saving that stupid bard...

I don't know what it is with me and names in this game; I saw Volo and was like 'heh, same name as that freak in Soul Calibur' and completely forgot Volo's Guide to Monsters until I saw him again.

The party. Oooh god I was not prepared for the party. Neither was Faye. Laz'ael kinda had dibs, and couldn't be un-dibbed so it was basically a night of awkwardly rejecting people. Excruciating for both of us. Notable exceptions: Wyll, who did not ask. I thought Faye might go for him, but they are a bit too similar. He's basically a brother from another mother and she loves him as such. Halsin, who was very kind but firm when Faye wondered if she could get to know him. okay.jpg

And. Of course. Asterion. Who let her know he was absolutely desperate to fuck, but anyone but her. Ew. Listen, this entire camp is crawling with horny morons, and if you weren't such a sour and condescending gremlin you could have your pick of them, but instead you're having a sneer-off with the one person you can't stand who is going to go and get laid regardless.

I actually kind of love how antagonistic they are, and I'm almost tempted to turn the ship around just to watch him eat. his. words. But I couldn't do that to Faye, who basically regards him like a tired paramedic outside a club at 3am on a Sunday asking again what it is he's taken. Sadly, he's her job.

Anyway. Laz'ael. You don't have to get all dommy to get head, you know? She's a paladin getting on her knees and giving is in her nature. I don't think Faye regrets it, but she finds Laz'ael a bit exhausting in several senses and doesn't want a rematch either, or to talk about it. Asterion probably sensed that. Dick.

I still had this cursed book sitting in my inventory, cause I am the stupid, and had forgotten right click opened an Attack option in the menu and I fruitlessly kept trying to target it with the general attack option. I did eventually work it out.

Now I had noticed Auntie Ethel had the fey creature type, but I thought nothing of it, and Faye, sweetheart that she is, wasn't going to scare some old lady by telling her about the tadpole, so I only headed to the swamp out of a desire to fill in the map before leaving the zone. Also, a friend had informed me I could improve things slightly with Asterion by 'baa-ing' at redcaps, a bizarre piece of advice that made no sense til I got there. Frankly it's the first thing about him that's been remotely charming.

Anyway, we got as far as the door to the hag's lair, and I thought we'd more or less hit an instant boss fight, and I and my companions were so close to level 5. That extra attack was gonna do so much for me. So I turned around and scoured the map for anything that might offer scraps of exp. Took all day. Rested.

Gale offered a magic lesson. Faye had a great time til it all got a bit too serious and she broke it off, getting the sad and lonely reaction, and she's feeling bad about it cause he's hot and smart, and good-hearted. But. It did seem a bit too smooth, and he did also kick things off with a picture of his ex, and then a demonstration of how good said ex makes him feel. If she even is an ex. I'm not cucking a fucking goddess. Faye's wis score is higher than that.

Dyce would love everyone in this party though. He really would. I need to know if an nonocule is possible.

Back to Faye. Rather than face her problems, she decided she'd rather go to a horrible swamp and fight a hag with a guy who deeply dislikes her. It went fine. Overall, by the time we were done in the swamp, Asterion had gone from barely tolerating her to grudgingly tolerating her. As she herself says, 'I've got a long road ahead of me.'