#she was so traumatized by that experience

[moonys-tea-leaves]

Another major factor in birth outcomes is support.

And you might expect that trans people would be more vulnerable here - but this circles back to how trans people are less likely to choose to get/go through a pregnancy. For a trans person to be comfortable getting and staying pregnant - they likely have support.

Trans people are also basically forced to be more selective

I've seen time and again.

A birth experience that could be considered "traumatic" to outsiders (emergency c-section, etc) where the birthing person feels very supported and empowered before, during, and afterwards: the person giving birth can walk away without trauma and feeling very positive about what happened.

Meanwhile, a birth that's "perfect" can be intensely traumatic.

My first birth was very traumatic because the first midwife who attended was so awful. Thankfully the second midwife, when she finally got called in, was an ANGEL. She was so supportive and within an hour of her showing up, baby was born.

The prior 8 hours of labor with an unsupportive midwife were still really traumatic and it took me years and a lot of work to be able to give birth again.

On paper, nothing went "wrong". There was no significant tearing, no one needed hospitalization, etc. But because of that lack of support - I was still traumatized.

How many cis women go through a birth with a boyfriend/husband who isn't really involved or supportive, only to go home and be emotionally abandoned and left to deal with the baby alone?

Having adequate support is vital to being able to have a good birth expereince.

And, yes, you can have absolutely everything in place and still end up traumatized.

Life is like that - sometimes, tragedy strikes for absolutely no reason. You can be eating your favorite meal and choke to death.

But that's not an excuse to accept poor outcomes as the norm. We can absolutely make changes that result in higher rates of positive birth outcomes and reduce the rate and severity of birth trauma.

(I have no idea if anyone replied to this I just feel like talking about it)

giving birth sucks tbh. not only do you and the baby you’re birthing almost die, usually you shit yourself and often you tear your taint. then you have to push an organ out of your body (placenta) and if even a little of that remains in your body, you can hemorrhage to death or develop an infection that essentially rots your body from the inside out. even if you had a relatively “easy birth”, you bleed for weeks on end. even after that stops, your body and brain is changed for the rest of your life, the pregnancy leeched minerals from your bones, that can cause osteoporosis later. minor urinary incontinence is not uncommon, brain scans of people who gave birth show permanent changes in their brain, you’re never quite the same.

I say all of this not to say giving birth is disgusting but it is a harrowing and visceral experience. society downplays how fucking awful it is and makes it out to be a ~magical~ experience but it isn’t a magical transformative experience for everyone. it can be an extremely traumatic experience for someone who wanted to carry a pregnancy to term, much more so for someone who did not want to be pregnant in the first place or someone who knows their baby won’t survive the birth. anyway, abortion is a right. pregnancy and birth aren’t just inconvenient, it’s fucking awful.

[bumblingbabooshka]

When the only person who might understand what happened- understand. Not sympathize or empathize or comfort you but understand what happened, isn't there anymore. Or: 'A Man Made Me Do Something I Didn't Want To', for when you can't talk about it or look it in the eye [Patreon | Commissions]

[ups3tti]

If I think about Nya during skybound enduring Delara's possession for too long I lose it a little bit. Incredibly traumatizing and dehumanizing experience along with literally dying that she just cannot or will not really talk about both because its hard to talk about as a whole *and* because doing so means unearthing a ton of other stuff, and its just never really addressed in general as far as the show is concerned. Kill me

[fir-fireweed]

Romance Options in Viatica

Art by the extremely talented Isabela Zaneti

B-485, Lion (he/him)

He is a builder, stoic and strong. He is tall and muscular with brown skin and black, coiled hair and beard. At 26 he is the eldest of the group. Later in the story, he chooses the name Lion for himself.

He is fierce and protective of those he cares for. But what truly sets him apart from other workers is his ability to speak clearly and articulately. How? More to the point, can he teach you?

F-525, Heron (he/him)

He is a feeder, aloof and placid. He is medium height, with long blonde hair usually tied back in a ponytail and pale blue eyes. He is 22 years old, same as you. Later in the story, he chooses the name Heron for himself.

He does not question his role, nor act in any way contrary to what is expected. What passions and tempers will you find when that veneer cracks? More importantly, why does he seem so familiar?

S-622, Ferret (she/her)

She is a sweeper, slender and scrappy. She is medium height, with olive skin, dark brown hair and narrow grey eyes. She is 21 years old. Later in the story, she chooses the name Ferret for herself.

She is impulsive, stubborn, and quick to anger. When you first meet her she is very combative, but you eventually see the fearless and inquisitive soul underneath. Could she be a kindred spirit, or perhaps even more?

R-793, Robin (they/them)

They are a burner, lithe and wary. They have ivory skin, curly red hair, and heterochromia: one eye is green, the other brown. They are 20 years old. Later in the story, they choose the name Robin for themself.

In a world where roles are based on gender and strict definitions of what a worker is, they have always felt out of place. Their discomfort was made worse by a recent traumatic experience. Can you help them to accept and appreciate the worthy person that they are?

[ladyhyakinth]

A tragic and traumatic life is normal to those who know nothing else. She belonged to all of Vienna, she belonged to everyone...except herself.

But then that familiar world is gone.

The suitcase has its unusual but united inhabitants. Slowly but surely, the empty void of her heart made its way to new friends and new experiences.

Then it hits her.

She was too young to be the star of Vienna.

Too young to be the measure of perfection, too young to be subjected to perverse obsession from so-called admirers, and too young to hold the weight of a world-ending war.

Now it's all gone. Vienna, Theophil, Trista, her mother and father, and her. The golden key she hoped to open her empty door was only brass. If her only anchor to the crashing tides is also broken, then how can't she drown?

Where will she go?

[miraculouslyfine]

bombed it

(Doesn't follow the events of anything, established relationship)

The one where Peter Parker and Y/n Stark don't see eye to eye for once.

Word Count: 10,8k

"You can't be serious”   “I'm sorry, Y/n, but you have to choose”  

~

Peter and Y/n rarely fought.   

They just got each other. They understood each other on a deeper level; their shared traumatic experiences definitely played a part in this mutual understanding. Their love had been tested and tempered, growing stronger with every challenge they faced together. Throw some ever-growing affection and trust into the mix, and there you have it: a happy, healthy relationship.  

Sure, they had their fair share of squabbles and petty arguments, just like any couple, really. But they both valued honesty and communication. They were open about their feelings in any and every given situation, always making sure they see eye to eye, always trying to find middle ground. After all, that's what relationships are for, right? Compromise.   

Peter was willing to give up a lot of things to ensure Y/n's happiness. Nothing mattered to him more than making sure his beautiful girlfriend, his best friend, the love of his life was perfectly contented with how things were between them. Well, almost nothing.  

The one thing Peter would never budge on was Y/n's safety. That was non-negotiable. He felt it was his duty as her boyfriend, as her superhero -superpowered superhero- boyfriend, to protect her, to make sure she never got hurt.  

Now, Y/n Stark was no damsel in distress and by no means a stranger to danger and all kinds of superhero-related adventures and difficulties. Having grown up with the Avengers, her involvement with the team of heroes was inevitable.   

She was –according to the rest of the team, Peter included- a vital part of the Avengers. She took part in missions, though in a less dynamic and active sense, usually helping come up with different strategies and plans (you can never be too careful!). She brought a “much needed unique and fresh perspective to the team", as her dad used to say (“I just overthink a lot, it's not that big of a deal", she would always mutter under her breath, causing Peter to roll his eyes and playfully flick her on the head).  

Even though Tony (mostly Pepper) didn't want his daughter risking her life and getting caught up in the superhero world, he knew that if push came to shove, she needed to be able to protect herself. Plus, he couldn't deny that she had a talent. Her combat skills, ideas, creations, and great planning and thinking ahead skills were more than appreciated within the community. She was trained by the Black Widow herself for god's sake, she knew what she was doing. 

So what could have caused this schism between them, causing Peter to leave the comfort of their bed, deciding to spend the night on the couch instead, away from the feeling of her warm body next to him? 

Peter knew what she was doing. Sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night, right after he'd come back from his own patrol. She thought she was being sly about it, too. Really, Y/n? Now you're just insulting my intelligence. 

It's one thing to play vigilante and another to outright lie about it. And Peter hated lies almost as much as he hated not knowing whether she was safe or not. And these late-night activities of hers were starting to piss him off. They were not good for his heart, either. Every time he heard the soft sound of their bed creaking as she got out of it at ungodly hours, he could feel his chest tightening. He always tried to fight the urge to get up and immediately follow after her, just to make sure she wasn't doing anything reckless. 

He didn't realize right away. She didn't look like she had spent half the night fighting crime, at first. She'd return a couple of hours before he was supposed to wake up. She'd make sure there were no visible injuries and she'd go on with her day. She really thought he'd never find out (or at least not before she felt he was ready to find out). 

After a few days, the lack of sleep was apparent. And no matter how hard she tried denying it, or playing it off, Peter could tell something was up. It didn't take him long to start putting one and one together; her tiredness, some unexplainable scratches here and there, the fact that crime in NYC seemed to have subsided. 

Peter knew. And he didn't like what was happening, not one bit. They had talked about it once, a while back. She had done this before-gone around his back to play hero-, or at least attempted to, before Peter (with a little needed help from her overprotective, over the top father, the little snitch) brought an end to it. He thought she had understood, that she saw how she was being ridiculous and unreasonable. Recklessly throwing herself in danger, all in the name of proving something? That didn't sound like his very intelligent, very MINDFUL girlfriend. 

He tried talking to her again. He gave her the chance to come clean about her activities. She denied everything. 

He was mad. He was hurt. He felt betrayed. Not only did she ignore his warnings and went about it behind his back, she was also lying to his face. 

And they fought. It was bad. It was unlike any previous fight they had. They were screaming at each other, hurtful words flying in the air, the tension in the room palpable. It was getting late, they were both tired, frustrated and upset. 

"Y/n, for the last time. You're being stubborn about this. All I'm saying is there are ways for you to help without being ON the field. Without recklessly risking your life-" 

"For god's sake, Peter. You're acting like I'm some adrenaline junkie, picking up fights with random people at the bar! I am helping you-" 

"Helping me? You think making me stay up all night, worrying if you're gonna make it back in one piece, is helpful? Geez, what would I ever do without you?", he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm  

"No one asked you to stay up. I know what I'm doing. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I'm trained and-" 

"Oh, you're trained? Why didn't you just say so?" 

She sighed heavily and rubbed her temples.

"Are you done? I'm trying to talk here and you're acting like a child!" 

"I'm the one acting like a child? You're acting like an angsty teen, sneaking around, ignoring everything and everyone!", he realized his voice came out a bit higher than intended. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. 

"Listen, Y/n, this isn't a game. Your life is not a game. You're putting yourself in danger. Hell, you're putting civilians in danger! What do you think you're doing, running around playing hero? Hm? You think you're tough for going out there all on your own? You're not tough, Y/n. You're dumb. You're dumb and reckless. What do you think will happen? You think you'll be lucky every time? That nothing bad will ever happen because you are trained? All it takes is one miscalculation, Y/n, one wrong move on your end, for things to take a really bad turn. Your luck will eventually run out. You could get hurt or..." 

He took a deep breath. He didn't dare finish that sentence. The thought of ever losing her was too much for him to handle. 

"You're not invincible, no matter how hard got try to convince yourself. You don't have healing factor, you don't have super strength, enhanced senses. NOTHING. You're intelligent, yes. You're incredible, you're creative, innovative, truly one of the smartest people I've ever met. You've got heart, I recognize that. But it's not enough. Your gadgets and devices won't save you every time."  

"One bullet", his voice cracked, "one bullet, Y/n, and you're gone. Do you get it now? GONE. DEAD. Do you understand the severity of the situation? You're risking your life. And for what? Five seconds of fame? To prove you're worthy of being your father's child? What are you trying to do?", he shook his head, frustration evident in his mannerisms. 

He took a good look of her. The sight immediately broke his heart. Her gaze sparkled with a delicate brightness, the unshed tears amplifying every flicker of emotion. He felt the need the need to reach out to her, to touch her (whether that was in order to hug or strangle her he didn't know for sure). But he didn't give in. He couldn't back down. Not when her safety was on the line. He needed her to understand, to see where he was coming from. 

The tears in her eyes refused to fall, clinging stubbornly to her lashes as her glare cut through the air like a blade. Who does he think he is? 

"This is what you think I'm doing? Showing off? Trying to prove a point?", a bitter chuckle escaped her. "No, Peter. I'm being helpful. I'm helping you, the cops, the people of New York. Why do you always do this? Why do you have to be like this? Why do you think you get to decide what’s best for me? I’m trying to help you, and you're out here treating me like I'm some kind of criminal, some kind of liability, an inconvenience to you! Do you think I don’t know the risks? Do you think I’m blind to the danger? I know what I’m walking into, but it’s my choice to make, not yours! You act like I’m some fragile thing that needs protecting, but I’m not, so stop acting like it.” 

“I'll stop when you start acting like a responsible adult for once”, he replied bitterly. 

“You're not a little girl anymore, Y/n. Tony won't be always there to save you and -as much as it pains me to say- neither will I” 

“I never-” 

"You never asked me to?", he run his hand through his hair in a frustrated manner. 

“I know. God, Y/n, I know. You're so goddam stubborn. You'd rather die than ask anyone for help. You're always so eager to prove your independence, that you don't need anyone to have your back. Well, news flash! You're not invincible. You're not some kind of god. And you're certainly not a hero. You can't just shrug off a bullet or an explosion or whatever insane thing you decide to get involved in next! You're human, so start acting like it. You're not expendable. Selfish is what you are.”  

"Selfish? You think I'm selfish? For what? For wanting to help people? Don't you see the irony of this coming from you?”, she let out a laugh in incredulity, unable to even fathom how he could ever say that to her. 

“You think this is about me? You think I'm just out here looking for glory or some kind of thrill? I’m doing what needs to be done, and if you can’t see that, then maybe you don’t understand me at all. You’re calling me selfish, but the truth is, you’re the one being selfish here. You’re more concerned with your own fear, your own worries, than you are about the bigger picture. I’m not out there for me. I’m doing what I can, what I have to, because I don’t want to sit back and let things happen when I know I can make a difference.” 

Peter was fuming. 

"God, this is ridiculous. I can't keep doing this, I just can’t! You’re out of control! Every damn time I turn around, you're throwing yourself into some insane situation, thinking you’re some kind of superhero. What do you think this is—some kind of game? You act like nothing can touch you, but that’s bullshit! You’re human, you’re not indestructible, and I’m getting sick of it. 

What do you think happens if you get hurt? Or worse, if you die? Oh, wait, you don’t think, do you? No, you’re too busy basking in the glory of your own self-righteousness to realize the mess you’d leave behind. Because, guess what? I’m the one who’d have to pick up the pieces. Me. The one who’s standing here, constantly worried, because you’re too damn reckless to care about the people who love you.  

You want to help people? Fine, but not at the expense of your own life! You think I’m just supposed to stand here, watching you put yourself in danger, all for some stupid idea of being a hero? Are you kidding me?! What the hell is wrong with you? Why can’t you just be safe for once? Why do you have to go and do these reckless things that make my heart stop every single time? Do you even care about the people who love you?”, his chest rose and fell in sharp, measured movements, a betrayal of the battle raging within. 

She crossed her arms, her fingers digging into her skin as if trying to tether herself to composure 

“I know what I'm doing.”, she spat out. That was... a weak argument, that much she knew. But in her ~slightly~ emotional state, it was all she could over without completely breaking down in tears. 

It seemed like that single comment angered Peter to no end, making him laugh bitterly in return. 

“Do you think growing up in the Avenger's Tower makes you one of them? Here's a reality check: your little stunts don't make you a hero. They make you a liability. And if you keep this up, I don't know how much longer I can deal with it. Because I can't spend my life wondering if the next time you pull this crap will be the last time I ever see you” 

But Peter was on a roll, he couldn't stop there. 

“And you know what’s even worse? You don’t even care. You don’t care that you scare the hell out of me. You don’t care that I am waiting back here, while you do something so unbelievably reckless that might result in me losing you. Because it’s always about you, isn’t it? Your need to prove something, your need to feel important. Never mind the people you leave behind to pick up the pieces!” 

And... silence. Complete and utter silence. 

It wasn’t the kind of silence that comes from comfort; it was loaded with the weight of accusations and defenses that would never be voiced. 

Peter winced. He regretted saying those words as soon as they came out of his mouth. He was getting to her, he could tell. He also knew he was being kind of an ass about the whole thing, but he really needed her to understand how unreasonably stubborn she was being. He needed her to be safe, but it seemed like she didn't value her wellbeing all that much. He couldn't stand that. 

Ouch. That...yeah, that did the trick. It wasn't just what he said, it was mostly how he said it. So... cold and distant, poisonous almost. Like he was taunting her. She could barely recognize the man in front of her. That wasn't her sweet, loving boyfriend, her Pete, her biggest supporter. 

She understood his point of view. She is less experienced than him, especially in the sense of getting personal with the villains. The fact that she doesn't have any powers didn't help her much either. She knew he was worried about her safety, that all his anger was stemming from a place of love (even though it wasn't that evident that particular moment). But she also hoped he'd have more faith in her. After all, she is always careful, with at least three backup plans ready, just in case. She always follows protocol, doesn't make any rush decisions. And she's Iron Man's daughter for fucks sake, she does know what she's doing. 

“A liability, huh?” 

Her eyes were distant, gazing at something far beyond the room, avoiding contact like it might burn. It felt like there was an invisible wall around her, not built to shut others out but to keep herself from crumbling 

He sighed and spoke again, this time in a slightly softer tone. 

“I didn't mean it like that... I'm sorry. Look, Y/n, what I'm trying to say is I’m scared out of my mind, and I can't keep pretending like I’m okay with this. Every time you leave, I’m terrified you won’t come back. Every time you walk out the door, I wonder if I’ll be standing at your grave one day, all because you thought it was some heroic act to put yourself at risk. You think that’s noble? It’s selfish! It’s selfish because you’re not just risking yourself—you’re ripping apart the people who care about you.” 

He took another shaky, deep breath and spoke in a gentle, yet firm tone, his gaze intense. 

“I can't lose you, okay? I won't. And you doing this-this reckless, stupid, selfish thing- is how that's going to happen. If something ever happens to you... I won't forgive you for it.” 

His voice lowered but remained firm, trembling slightly.  

“And I won't forgive myself either”  

Silence settled over them once again. It was thick, like a fog settling over the room, muffling everything but the sound of their breathing. It was the kind of silence that pressed against your chest, making it hard to breathe, as though the room itself disapproved. They sat stiffly, their gazes deliberately avoiding each other, the distance between them more like a chasm than a few feet. 

Peter cleared his throat. 

Things were not looking good for them right now. He didn't like it, not one bit. The room felt suffocating, the once light and warm atmosphere long gone. He truly hated fighting with her. He wished this conversation never happened. They'd be laying on the couch now in each other's arms, with her on top of him, her head on his chest, her arms lazily draped over him as he'd run his fingers through her hair, holding her close. Just talking about their day while some movie played in the background. That's what we should be doing, Peter thought. Instead, here they were, avoiding eye contact like they were about to face Medusa. But this conversation couldn't be held off any longer. 

Soon enough the silence became unbearable. 

“Maybe it's best if we just-”  

“I should-” 

As soon as they heard the other person talking, they both closed their mouths, resulting in yet another moment of awkward silence. So in sync these two, it was almost endearing. 

Peter tilted his head slightly toward her, eyebrows raised in a silent invitation to speak. 

Her eyes closed briefly before they looked up, a flicker of acknowledgment passing over her face as she nodded weakly before speaking in an uncharacteristically quiet tone. 

“Maybe we should take some time alone... to...cool off...you know...?”  

Peter sighed. This conversation hadn't led to anything. Anything other than hurt, frustration and a headache, that is. Hours of an endless emotional back and forth, all for nothing. They hadn't reached an agreement and he was certain they weren't seeing eye to eye. And this wasn't a matter he was willing to back down from, she had to realize that her actions affected him as well. 

He understood where she was coming from, he really did. He understood better than anyone the burning need to help, the desire to make a difference, that deep sense of responsibility to the world. He *is* Spider-Man after all, that's his thing; he cares, he acts. He feels the moral duty to use his abilities to protect others, often at great personal cost. He doesn't mind. Or, at least, he didn't in the past (it is kind of different when you have someone at home waiting for you, you just got to be more careful, you know?). 

But he doesn't want that for her. Never for her. 

Maybe he was the selfish one for getting mad at her. Maybe he was selfish for hating knowing she was out there somewhere, all alone, taking justice into her own hands. But is it really selfish of him not wanting to see her getting hurt over something completely preventable? Why would she be out there risking her life when HE could be doing that instead? Did she not realize how much she meant to him?  

He didn't want them to separate, not like this, not right now. But he really didn't feel like continuing this conversation. He was exhausted, his emotions all over the place, a hint of irritation still lingering. He could tell she was tired too. Plus, he still had today's patrol. 

He reluctantly nodded. 

“Yeah...maybe we should. I have to go anyway. We'll talk about this later, okay?” 

She just nodded in response and retreated to their bedroom. Peter stood there for a moment, contemplating his next move. He hesitantly made his way to the door. He didn’t want to go, not really—but a small, guilty part of him was already savoring the thought of the space he'd have once he left. There was a flicker of regret in his eyes as he turned away, quickly replaced by a soft exhale and a lighter step. He hesitated at the threshold, his hand hovering over the doorknob for a moment longer than necessary before finally turning it. As he stepped out, he paused for a moment, as if expecting Y/n to call him back, but when she didn't, his posture eased, and he moved forward with renewed purpose. This is gonna be fun.

Peter soon disappeared into the night, busying himself by fulfilling Spider-Man's duties. He went about with his usual routine, swinging around the most common areas, the sketchiest ones, the streets most accidents happen on. But it was an uncharacteristically quiet night; no supervillains threatening to wipe out NYC, no petty criminals running around causing chaos, no cats on extremely high trees needing saving. 

Someone asked him for directions, so there was that.  

(A man can't even escape his thoughts in peace, smh) 

Hours passed, and it was getting later and later. Frustration, worry, and exhaustion started to catch up with him. He was tired, his body screaming for rest and his heart begging for an end to this whole ordeal. After a couple of hours of killing time by meaninglessly swinging around, Peter decided it was finally time he returned home- to her.  

Peter returned to the apartment, his body tired and aching, frustration still gnawing at his. On his way back he wondered whether or not he'd find her there. She could've gone to a friend's or at her parents’ house to avoid him. She could’ve completely ignored him and left to play vigilante again. He prayed that wasn't the case. Honestly? He half expected her too, if anything just to spite him. 

He quietly entered, not knowing what to expect, but the place was quiet and empty. He scanned the room and the first thing he noticed was the food on the kitchen counter, a silent gesture from her. 

He grumbled to himself, still somewhat irritated by her behavior. But the mere sight of the food, still warm and waiting for him, softened his frustration just a bit. Despite everything, she still cared enough to think about him. 

He walked over to the counter, his stomach rumbling with hunger. He sat at the table, quietly eating the food, his mind still going over the events of the night. He couldn't stop the frustration from bubbling up, but he also couldn't ignore the fact that he was exhausted. The food tasted good, but it didn't do much to satisfy his frustration. He still wanted answers, he still wanted her to stop this nonsense. 

He let out a quiet sigh, the sound echoing in the empty room. He was tired, both physically and emotionally. He knew he needed to sleep, to rest and recharge. 

Peter opened the door to their bedroom and was immediately hit with a wave of surprise. Y/n was asleep in their bed, looking deceptively peaceful. Peter's eyes narrowed as he watched her.  

He wanted to wake her up, to confront her and put an end to this. But seeing her there, asleep and defenseless, made him pause. Peter grumbled internally, torn between his irritation and the sight of her peacefully sleeping in their bed. He knew he should wake her and confront her, but something about seeing her there, so calm and vulnerable, made his anger soften just a little. Instead of waking her up, he opted to sit on the edge of the bed, his eyes watching her as she slept. The frustration was still there, but there was a hint of worry and care underneath it all.  

“Hey, baby. There's food on the kitchen”. Her voice was soft and muffled, more like a murmur than actual speech, as though weighed down by sleep. 

As Y/n spoke in her sleep, Peter's annoyance melted away just a little more. Her sleepy voice was almost endearing, and her concern for his well-being, even in her half-conscious state, touched a softer part of him. 

He let out a soft sigh and ran a hand through his hair, his irritation fading into the background. Seeing her like this reminded him that beneath all the chaos and recklessness, she was still the girl he cared about.  

He couldn't bring himself to wake her up or to confront her right now, especially not when she was in such a vulnerable state. Instead, he sat there, watching her sleep, his mind swirling with a mix of frustration, care, and a bit of tenderness. 

He still had so many questions, and he was still upset about her antics, but for now, he was content to just sit there, listening to her gentle breathing and feeling a strange sense of peace in the room. Tomorrow would be another day for confrontations and discussions. 

Peter sat there for a few more minutes, just watching her sleep. The silence of the room was soothing, and the frustration he felt earlier was slowly fading away. 

With a deep sigh, he finally decided it was time to get some sleep himself. He carefully got up and made his way out of the room, quietly closing the door behind him. 

As he settled into the couch, he couldn't help but wonder what tomorrow would bring. He knew he'd have to talk to her again, to get answers and hopefully put an end to her vigilante streak. 

This is bad, she thought. 

Peter's presence –or absence- had woken her up from her already somewhat disrupted sleep. She kept replaying today's events in her head, almost as if she were trying to make herself angrier and more anxious. She didn't like fighting with him. Sure, she didn't agree with him in the slightest and his words angered her to no end, she couldn't deny that she missed him terribly, especially now that she had the whole bed to herself, feeling like it'd swallow her whole. 

Since when does he sleep on the couch, anyway? Why did he get to act immaturely and petty? Why didn't he want to sleep in bed with her? He was the one in the wrong, blowing things out of proportion. 

After staring at the ceiling for God knows how long, she decided she'd just go for it. She could be stubborn; she was certainly not above acting petty after a fight. But she missed him. A lot. She yearned for the warmth of his body, the feeling of his arms around her. She decided pettiness (and the talk they're bound to have) would have to wait until tomorrow morning. 

She pushed the covers aside sluggishly, her arms moving as though weighed down by invisible chains. Her feet slid off the bed and onto the floor, landing with a dull thud, her movements slow and deliberate. She sat at the edge of the bed for a moment, hunched over, before finally shuffling to her feet with a soft groan. She shuffled toward the door, each step a reluctant scrape, the sound faint in the stillness of the room. 

She slowly made her way to the living room. Her eyes immediately landed on Peter's sleeping form on the couch. Without giving herself another moment to think this through, she started walking towards him. 

She carefully climbed on the couch and settled in an awkward position on top of him/ against the back of the couch. It was very uncomfortable but she could manage. What she couldn't manage was Peter-less sleep. 

Peter was pulled out of his half-asleep state by the sudden movement on the couch. He blinked a few times, his vision slowly adjusting to the dim light. 

At first, he was confused. Was he dreaming? But then he felt Y/n's weight on top of him, her awkward positioning making him wince a little. 

He felt a surge of irritation bubble up once again. Seriously? She had the whole bed to herself, why was she cramping up the couch like this? He was about to protest, to tell her to go back to the bed where she would be more comfortable, but something held him back. Maybe it was the softness in her half-sleeping gaze, or the warm weight of her body on top of him. But instead of pushing her aside, he found himself pulling her closer, instinctively wanting to hold and comfort her. 

“Are you mad at me?” 

He let out a resigned sigh, his frustration giving way to a mixture of annoyance, care, and a hint of affection. Peter's eyes widened slightly at her unexpected question. He had been caught off guard by her words, and there was a moment of hesitation on his part. 

But her voice, tinged with vulnerability and hesitation, stirred something within him. Maybe it was the softness of her tone, or the genuine concern underneath the question, but the irritation that had been brewing in him suddenly lost some of its sharpness. 

He let out a long, quiet sigh before whispering back, his voice gentle but firm. 

"Yes, I am." 

They drifted into a quiet pause, the air between them tinged with hesitation. That was until she spoke again in an almost hushed tone. 

“Are you very mad at me?” 

Peter paused for a moment, taking a deep breath to steady his emotions. Her quiet plea made his chest tighten, his heart conflicted between the lingering irritation and the instinctive need to comfort her. 

"Yes,", he whispered back, his voice softening a bit, "I am very mad at you." 

She hummed softly, acknowledging his response before speaking up once more. 

"Mad enough not to give me a goodnight kiss?" 

Peter couldn't help but feel a small spark of amusement at Y/n's words. Despite everything, despite his frustration, she still knew just how to disarm him with her playfulness. 

After a moment's hesitation, he relented, his voice still soft but with a hint of a smile. 

"I suppose I can manage a goodnight kiss. But then you need to promise you'll go back to your bed." 

"I don't like sleeping without you" 

Peter's heart skipped a beat. He was taken aback by her raw honesty and the vulnerability in her voice. It softened his frustration a bit more, reminding him of the love they shared beneath their disagreements. He let out a sigh, a mixture of annoyance and affection in his voice.  

"Why? Why can't you just... behave and make things easier for both of us?" 

That was... *not* what she expected to hear. She suddenly felt very awake, like a bucket of freezing cold water was dumped over her. It made sense that Peter wouldn't ignore the problem at hand just to let her cuddle with him in peace. Did she like it? No, not really. But that's Pete for you. Always wanting to do things right and always in proper order. 

But she was really not in the mood for that. Feeling rejected didn't help either. It was a quiet devastation, not loud or dramatic, but a slow, persistent ache she couldn’t ignore. The heat crept up her neck and into her face, her body betraying the humiliation she tried to suppress. Guess she won't be getting that goodnight kiss after all. 

She got off him just as quickly and awkwardly as she had previously climbed on top of him (she may or may not tried to discreetly knee him in the process). 

“You came here because you needed space. I need to respect that. I'll leave you alone", she said quietly as she got up from the couch. 

"Goodnight, Peter", she mumbled without giving him the chance to respond before walking back to their room with her head hung low, her shoulders slumped. 

Peter watched her walk away, her dejected expression pulling at his heartstrings. He wanted to call out to her, to tell her not to go, but another part of him wanted space to think, to process everything. It was all just too much too quickly. 

With a heavy sigh, he leaned back on the couch. The night was still young, and there were so many thoughts swirling in his mind. He needed time to sort through his feelings, to figure out what to say to her when they talked. 

While Peter was busy staring at the ceiling and gathering his thoughts, Y/n was pacing back and forth in their shared room. She was feeling anxious.  

She knew her participation in any superhero related activity -let alone playing hero all on her own, in NYC of all places- wouldn't really appeal to Peter. 

She knew that, yet she did it anyway. She wanted to help, she knew she could help, so she did. Turns out all that training really paid off. She did good, if she said so herself. Criminals were caught, civilians were safe, the press was eating it up. It was a win in her books. 

Despite all that, she couldn't ignore how her actions affected Peter. He seemed pretty pissed off. And him being that mad at her wasn't a common occurrence, like at all. 

She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep. She was too emotional for that right now. Would they bounce back from this? Was he... done? Done with her? With them? She started giving through his closet, trying to find something to wear. She needed comfort, and if Peter wasn't about to provide that, his clothes would have to do. 

In true teenage girl fashion, she put on some sweatpants and one of Peter's hoodies. She put some sad, break up songs -Taylor Swift most likely- playing softly in the background, as she pulled her laptop and played a Star Wars movie, Peter's favorite. She was very well aware of how ridiculous she was being. But she really couldn't find it in herself to care. She was allowed to wallow in self-pity if she wanted to.  

As the movie started, her eyes began to tear up. She started thinking back to the day they first met, when they got together, when they moved into this house, essentially making herself cry more. What if this was their end? 

She didn't know what possessed her to act like this. Maybe it was the crippling fear that he'd break up with her. Maybe he was done with her. Maybe that's what tomorrow's conversation would bring. Because why on Earth would he want to sleep on the couch -without even giving her a goodnight kiss-, if he wasn't planning on breaking up with her? 

She cried even harder. 

Lost in his thoughts, Peter was startled when he heard a soft sniffling sound coming from the room he shared with Y/n (what a great day to have paper-thin walls!). Instantly, his irritation vanished, replaced by a sense of worry and concern. 

Was she crying? Was she upset? He couldn't bear to see her in distress, especially if he was the cause of it. And though part of him was still angry, the other just couldn't stand by and let her suffer. 

Silently, he got up from the couch and made his way to the bedroom door. 

Peter gently opened the door, trying not to make a sound. The sight that greeted him hit him hard. Y/n, dressed in his hoodie and sweatpants, sitting on their bed with her laptop in her lap, the screen lit up by the familiar glow of the original Star Wars trilogy playing. It was both sweet and heartbreaking. 

Tears were streaming down her face, and her small sobs filled the room. Peter could feel his heart cracking, torn between his lingering anger and his overwhelming love for her. He stood there for a moment, frozen, until the sight of her broke the last shred of his resolve. 

Peter moved forward slowly; his steps gentle yet firm. He approached her with care, as though she were made of fragile glass.  

“I could hear you from the living room” 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up... I'll keep it down” 

"No, no," he murmured, sitting beside her.  

"You don't need to apologize. I just...I just can't stand seeing you upset.", he reached out to brush the tears off her cheeks, his touch gentle and comforting. 

Tears spilled freely down her face as she leaned into his touch, the warmth of his hand against her cheek softening the jagged edges of her emotions. Her shoulders trembled with quiet sobs, each one a wordless apology for the harshness of the argument that still lingered in the air. And yet, she didn’t pull away—instead, she melted into the comfort, clinging to the embrace as if it was the only thing keeping her from breaking completely. The touch was steady, almost forgiving, and despite the ache between them, it felt like a fragile truce beginning to take shape. 

"I don't want us to break up", she blurted out suddenly. 

Peter blinked in surprise. He was taken aback by her sudden outburst. It hadn't even crossed his mind that they would break up.  

"What? No, of course not. Whatever gave you that idea?" 

He pulled her gently into his lap, his arms wrapping around her in a protective embrace. In return, she clung onto him and cried in his shirt. 

"I'm sorry. I really don't want us to break up. Ever. I hate it when you're mad at me. I don't want to lose you, Peter. You mean so much to me, I don't-" 

Peter held onto her tighter, his heart aching at her outpouring of distress and love. 

"Y/n, angel, listen to me," he said, his voice a calm and gentle assurance in the storm of emotions. "We're not breaking up. Not now, not ever. I love you. Mad, not mad, I love you. Do you understand what I'm saying? This is not a fleeting thing. This is us. Together. Forever." 

"I'm sorry for worrying you. I just wanted to do the right thing. I just wanted to help; I promise that's all I was trying to do. You're so busy and overworked and don't even complain because you're such a great person and I just wanted to help you and do something good for the world, too. I'm so sorry for making you worried. I didn't mean for things to come to this. I'm sorry, Peter. I'm so sorry-" 

She cried even harder in his arms, making Peter's heart shatter at her tear-filled confession. He held her closer, feeling every word as if it weighed a thousand pounds. 

"Shhhhh, shhh," he whispered, trying to soothe her. "You don't have to be sorry for wanting to help, Y/n. That's who you are. That's one of the reasons I fell in love with you. But there are other ways. Safer ways. We'll find them. Together. But I need you to promise, to actually promise me, that you won't do that again, that you won't go out risking your life again." 

She pulled away slightly, just enough to look him in the eyes, her own still filled with tears. 

"Peter..." 

She shook her head. Her tone was quiet and soft, almost a desperate plea.  

Peter's heart clenched tightly in his chest again as she pulled back to face him. Seeing her tear-stricken expression, his resolve nearly faltered. But he steeled himself, knowing this conversation needed to happen.  

"I need to hear you promise, Y/n," he repeated firmly, his tone unwavering, "promise you won't do this again. Promise me right now, or I promise you we're done." 

His words hung heavy in the air, laden with the weight of their love and their future together. Suddenly, she started feeling slightly lightheaded. Did he just-? No, he wouldn't...would he? But he just said- 

"W-what? You can't be serious”  

“I'm sorry, Y/n, but you have to choose” 

As the gravity of what he had just said sunk in, Peter felt a wave of nausea wash over him. Had he really just threatened to end their relationship if she refused to comply? He loved this girl with all his heart, yet here he was, holding their relationship hostage like some sort of bargaining chip. 

He swallowed hard, his eyes never leaving hers. He needed her to know he was serious. But he also needed her to understand this was for their own good. For her safety. For their future. 

"Y/n," he said softly, but firmly, "promise me." 

"But you just- you just said this isn't a fleeting thing. That we are in this together. You just said-", her voice broke and a fresh set of tears ran down her cheeks. 

"And I meant it. I meant every word. But..." Peter paused, his gaze still fixed on her tear-streaked face. "But I can't watch you put yourself in danger like this. I can't stand idly by, watching you risk your life, your future, your everything just to prove a point. I can't promise you my undying love and then stand idly by and watch you throw it away. This isn't some game, Y/n. It's real life. And in real life, people get hurt. People get killed." 

"No. You don't understand. I'm always very careful. I follow protocol. I do everything right-"  

The words came out uneven, trembling as if her emotions were fighting their way through every syllable. Each word seemed to catch in her throat, rasping and shaking as she struggled to speak through the tears. 

"This isn't fair. You can't do this. Peter, you can't-", her own sobs prevented her from speaking. The hesitation in her voice mirrored the vulnerability in her eyes, wavering as though afraid to break completely. 

“No, Y/n, it's not fair!" Peter retorted, his emotions boiling over. "It's not fair that I have to sit here, worrying about you every second of every day. It's not fair that you get to waltz into a dangerous situation, risking everything, and leave me here wondering if I'm ever going you to see you again. That is not fair. But it's the reality of who we are. And I can't watch you do this to yourself, to me, to us." 

After he spoke the room fell silent. All that could be heard was the heaviness of Peter's breathing and Y/n's soft sniffles. 

“Would you do it?” 

“Would I do what?” 

"Would you quit being Spider-Man if I asked you to?", her voice barely above a whisper. 

"Wh-what?" Peter blinked, completely taken aback by Y/n's sudden question. It felt like a punch to the gut, the very thought of giving up being Spider-Man. It was a part of him, just as much as the love he had for her, and he couldn't imagine living a life without it. 

"Why would you-? No, Y/n," he sputtered, the words stumbling out before he could stop himself. "It's not the same. What I do, it's different. I have powers. I have responsibilities-" 

"Okay, then.” 

There was a hint of disappointment and an even bigger hint of finality in the way she said it. That was all she said. Such small and insignificant words, but in that moment, it could potentially signify the end of an era, the end of their era. 

The silence that followed was stifling, the weight of Y/n's words hanging heavily in the air. Peter stared at her, his heart in his throat. This couldn't be it, could it? After everything they had been through, was this really how it would end? 

"No. Y/n, you can't-" Peter's voice broke, his voice hoarse with emotion. "You can't possibly want me to choose between you and my duty as Spider-Man. It's...it's not a fair choice. It's not fair to ask me to give up-" 

“I'm not. I was just... wondering if you'd do the very same thing you're asking me to do”, she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper.  

Peter's heart clenched as he watched the tears stream down her cheeks. The realization of what he had done hit him like a ton of bricks. Had he really just demanded she choose between her desire to help and her love for him? Had he really just issued an ultimatum that threatened their entire relationship?  

His shoulders slumped, his resolve suddenly shattered. 

"I...I didn't mean..." He stammered, his voice cracking under the weight of his mistake. "Y/n, I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I'm-" 

"At least you won't have to deal with my recklessness anymore", she chuckled bitterly, her tone only half joking. Her voice was quiet and tired as a result of all the crying. 

She really didn't want their relationship to end, especially not like this. Maybe if she took a moment to calm down (if only she could just close her eyes for a minute) she'd see they were both overreacting. They both had their point. Maybe they could even hug it out. That could work, right? It works for kindergarteners; it could work for them, too. But in her emotional and restless state all she could think about was one upping him, making him feel guilty for ever threatening to end things. 

Peter's heart cracked at Y/n's half-hearted attempt at humor. He knew he had a lot of apologizing to do, but right now all he wanted to do was make it right. He didn't want to lose her. He couldn't even begin to imagine a life without her.  

He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, his Spidey-Sense suddenly flared, causing him to freeze mid-breath. "Hang on," he interrupted, his brow furrowed in concentration, his senses now fully alert. He stood silently, focusing on the signals his Spidey-Sense was sending him. Something was off, something was wrong. 

His eyes darted around the room, his attention flicking to the window. Was that... movement? A shadow? A flicker of something out of the ordinary. Y/n's eyes followed Peter's line of sight on the window behind them, noticing something. Before she had the time to let Peter know, the object she noticed was already on its way to their room.  

Acting purely on instinct, in a fragment of a second, she had pushed Peter off the bed, and fell on top of him, concealing him from whatever was going to burst through the window.  

Peter's Spider-Sense blared again, a split second later than it would have been if he hadn't been so wrapped up in his own emotions. 

The force of the blast sent a wave of debris and smoke swirling through the apartment. Glass shattered around them, raining down like sharp, shiny confetti. 

The rush of adrenaline barely let her register the feeling of glass breaking her skin. Peter's eyes widened as he realized what was happening. Y/n had flung herself on top of him, shielding him from the impending explosion. He tried to push her off him, his strength kicking in, knowing he could withstand the blast. 

But it was too late. The shockwave of the blast hit them, sending them crashing against a nearby wall. Peter instinctively wrapped his arms around Y/n, trying to protect her as much as he could. The explosion was deafening, the pain momentarily blinding.  

Once the dust began to settle, Peter slowly let go of Y/n, trying to catch his bearings. Peter's eyes darted around the destroyed room, trying to assess the damage. The devastation was staggering — shattered windows, smoke filling the room, debris everywhere. But his focus was on Y/n; the only thing that mattered right now. 

He gently grasped her shoulders, pulling her towards him, trying to assess her injuries. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice shaky with worry. "Please, please tell me you're okay." 

She barely noticed the sharp ache on her side or the warmth of blood trickling down her temple as she looked over the charred remains of what had once been their home. Her eyes stayed fixed on the crumbled remains of their house, where years of memories now lay in twisted, blackened ruins. The faint ache in her ribs with each breath was nothing compared to the hollow thud in her chest as she stared at the space that had once been their home.  

Her breathing was shallow, ragged—not from exertion, but from the weight of what she’d lost. Every step sent a jolt of agony through her body, but she ignored it, her focus locked on the blackened timbers and ashes that used to hold their memories, their life. What was a little pain compared to this? 

Peter's grip on her shoulders tightened slightly, his fingers digging into her flesh. "Y/n, look at me," he demanded, his voice firm. "Look at me and tell me you're okay." 

He needed to know she was alright. He couldn't handle the alternative. The thought of losing her was more terrifying than any explosion or villain. 

"Pete, our home. It's... it's gone” 

Her words stumbled out, disjointed and hollow, as if her mind was still scrambling to catch up. ““The picture wall, the stupid chemistry pun posters... they're all... gone.” Her mouth hung slightly open, her voice barely above a whisper, like she couldn’t trust the weight of her own thoughts. Every sentence felt like a question, her tone wavering between incredulity and desperate denial, as if speaking it aloud might somehow undo the reality before them.  

Peter's heart ached at her words. The thought of everything they had built together being destroyed was almost too much to bear. But right now, the only thing that mattered was Y/n. 

He took a deep breath, pushing aside his own emotions.  

"It's just stuff, Y/n. Things. We can get new stuff. None of it matters as long as you're okay." 

“But it won't be *our* stuff” 

Peter's heart broke at her words. She was right. Nothing could replace the sentimental value of their shared belongings — their collective memories and shared experiences. But he had to remain strong for her. He couldn't afford to break down when she needed him. 

"We'll make new memories. Better memories. I promise," he said softly, his hands still on her shoulders. "We'll find a new place, and we'll make it ours. It'll be even better than before. You have to trust me." 

"Trust you? You just broke up with me!”, her tone was almost accusing as tears began running down her face. 

Peter's heart felt like it was tearing in two as the words left Y/n's lips. He hadn't meant it, he *never* would have meant it. He only wanted to protect her, to keep her safe. But he realized his own fear and anxiety had caused him to make a mistake, a terrible mistake. 

"Y/n, baby, please," he pleaded. "It wasn't real. I was scared. I was worried about you going out and putting yourself in danger. I... I panicked. Please, you have to know... I love you." 

"You have a funny way of showing people you love them", she muttered sarcastically under her breath. “Anyway, is that supposed to make me feel better? You gave me an ultimatum, we kinda broke up and an explosive device literally demolishes our home". Angry tears were running down her face. 

"What is going on today? And you were mad because what? Because I risked my life? NEWS FLASH, PETER. THAT'S WHAT YOU DO ALL THE GODDAMN TIME. But I TRUST you and BELIEVE in your need to contribute to the greater good"  

"And I'd never- ah, fuck", she hissed and pressed down on her side 

Peter's eyes widened. Immediately, all other thoughts faded into the background. He quickly moved to her side, lifting up her shirt to assess the damage. His eyes fell on a nasty cut on her side, blood slowly seeping out.  

"You're bleeding," Peter said, his voice trembling with panic. "Why the hell didn't you say something earlier?" 

"Because I was in need of a red shirt- obviously I didn't know!"  

Her tone sounded sarcastic and frustrated; a hint of fear mixed in there as well. 

Peter huffed, feeling an emotional whirlwind. Mainly relief and the tiniest bit of irritation. Of course, she couldn't resist a snarky comment even in a crisis. 

"Right, because bleeding is the current trend," he quipped, trying to match her tone. "Red's not really your color, by the way. You're more of an orange gal." 

He couldn't help but feel a hint of affection towards her, even as he berated her. 

“Parker, I swear to God, if you don't zip it right now, I'll make you regret ever asking me out on that first date” 

Peter paused for a moment, caught off guard by her comment as it reminded him how he just threatened his lovely girlfriend -who he's madly in love with and would literally die for- he'd break up with her if she didn't stop doing something she loves. Her words sent a jolt of guilt through him; he could hear the hurt in her voice, and he knew he was the cause of it. 

He shook his head, pushing the weight of his mistake to the side for now. Y/n was bleeding, and that was his first priority. He would deal with the fallout of his ultimatum later.  

"Hang on," he said softly, gently lifting her up. "We need to stop the bleeding. Then we'll talk." 

He gently wrapped his arm around her waist, supporting her weight as they made their way to what was left of the kitchen. The sink miraculously survived the explosion, and he helped her lean against it. Grabbing a clean cloth, he ran it under the faucet, wetting it.  

"This might hurt," he warned, gently pressing the cloth to her wound. 

“I'm not talking to you”, she said almost right away. 

Peter paused at Melina's response. Her voice was laced with frustration, and he couldn't blame her. He had screwed up, big time. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. She was being stubborn, and he knew she had every right to be. 

"Look, I get it. You don't want to hear from me right now. I messed up, and I know that," he said softly, his gaze fixed on her. "But you're bleeding. I have to help you. Please, let me help you. Then you can go back to giving me the silent treatment if you want, okay? Plus, you don't have to talk. I'll do all the talking. Just let me patch you up, okay?" 

His voice was gentle, the frustration and anger from earlier having faded into the background. He knew that making things right with Y/n was going to take more than just words. It was going to take action. 

"I don't want to hear you talk either", she mumbled childishly. 

Peter raised an eyebrow at her petulant response. He had no doubt she wasn't in the mood to engage in conversation right now, but he refused to let her bleed out on her own floor because she was mad at him. He had to patch her up.  

He exhaled softly, gathering a bundle of supplies from a nearby first-aid kit. 

"You know, you're adorable when you're angry," he commented, unable to help himself. He started carefully cleaning the wound, his hands moving with precision and care. 

"And you're still talking" 

He couldn't help but smile at her stubbornness. He had truly fallen for a strong, independent woman. "Sorry, I just can't resist when my girlfriend's bleeding and fuming. It's a dangerous combination." 

He carefully began stitching up her wound, his hands steady and sure. "Just remember, a little bit of anger and banter make for the best love stories. We might be the next big blockbuster, with how dramatic we are." 

“Ex girlfriend", she corrected with an eye roll at the irony of it all. 

"And no love story for us. You can pursue your romance with the Becky from down the street now", she said grumpily, the thought alone tugging at her heartstrings 

Peter let out a sigh of exasperation at Y/n's correction. He knew he had made a mistake, and it hurt to see her refer to herself as his ex-girlfriend, but for now, her cut had his full attention. He couldn't get sidetracked. 

"You're right, I'm sorry. But you know, we could be the next enemies to lovers, if you play your cards right. A little banter, a little fighting, and then some dramatic make-up scene. The audience will love it." 

He finished stitching up her wound, his touch gentle despite his words. 

She wanted to stay mad at him, she really did. But it was hard to when he was making silly little comments like these. A small smile made its way to her face but she quickly bit down on her lip to stop herself before he saw and got cocky about it. 

Peter's keen Spidey senses picked up on the shift in her demeanor. He caught the subtle smile she tried to hide, and it warmed his heart. 

"Oh, is that a smile I see?" He said in a teasing tone. "I knew my charm would get to you eventually. Just imagine, if you're already smiling after breaking up, what could happen if we make up? The world might just explode from our awesomeness." 

"No one's smiling, you must've hit your head" 

Peter chuckled at her quick defense of her smile. He finished applying an antiseptic to the wound and gently covered it with a clean bandage.  

"Right, of course, I'm just seeing things," he replied with a playful wink. "But hey, if I did hit my head, maybe I'm having a vivid dream where you and I are the star-crossed lovers in the epic love story that is our lives. And you know what that means, right?" 

He leaned in close, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Wake me up with a kiss, Melina." 

"That was the corniest thing I've ever heard. Plus, I have this rule of not kissing ex boyfriends, sorry" 

"You're really gonna play hard to get?", Peter countered, a grin spreading across his face. "Well, I guess I'll just have to win you back then. I've defeated villains and battled super-powered monsters. Winning your heart back can't be much harder, right?" 

He stood up, helping her up as he did so. He couldn't resist pulling her towards him, his hands lightly settling on her hips. "And just so you know, I'm a great kisser." 

"Really? You'd think I would know, considering we spent the last four years of our lives together" 

"Touché. But you know what they say, practice makes perfect. Maybe I should give you a refresher. After all, I can't have you going around thinking I'm a bad kisser, can I?" 

He gently brushed a lock of hair away from her face, his gaze filled with affection. 

"So what do you say? For old time's sake?" 

"Old time being... yesterday?" 

Peter shrugged with a sheepish grin. "Well, technically yes, but you know what I meant. Besides, yesterday was a lifetime ago. We've had an explosion, a break-up, and a reunion. That's a lot more than most couples experience in a lifetime." 

He paused for a moment, a genuine warmth seeping into his voice. 

"In all seriousness, Y/n, I messed up. I've regretted it this entire time. I'm so sorry. Please give me another chance to prove it. To prove that we're... perfect together." 

“ ‘This entire time’ being...what? Thirty minutes?"*she said with a snort of amusement. 

Peter chuckled, his smile widening. "Alright, alright, I get it. We can't all be as patient as you with our ex-boyfriends. But seriously, Y/n, I mean it. I regret what I said. I was scared, and I made a mistake." 

He paused for a moment, his gaze growing serious. "I love you. I want you. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to win back your trust and heart." 

He took her hand, his fingers intertwining with hers. "Can we... just start over? Please?" 

She pulled her hand away from his and just stood there, watching him for a moment. After a bit she extended her arm towards him and introduced herself. 

"Y/n Stark", she said with the tiniest of smiles evident on her lips. 

“Who's being corny now?”, he rolled his eyes in a playful manner before wrapping his hand around hers, savoring the feel of her skin against his. 

"Y/n Stark," Peter echoed, his voice soft with affection "It's a pleasure to meet you, Y/n Stark. I'm Peter Parker. But you can call me anytime." 

With that, he gently pulled her closer, his free hand reaching up to caress her cheek. He leaned in, his lips gently brushing against hers, sealing their newfound beginning with a tender, heartfelt kiss. She laughed softly against his lips, the pickup line catching her off guard. Peter couldn't ignore the fluttering in his chest as her laughter met his lips. The sound was like music to his ears, and he deepened the kiss, his arms wrapping around her waist. 

Pulling away slightly, he whispered in her ear, "Did that meet your witty standards, Miss Stark?" 

"I'll let it slide", she said with a serious expression, nodding slightly before a smile made its way on her face again. 

Peter grinned, his eyes sparkling with adoration. "Only let it slide? I'll have to step up my game, then. How about this?" 

He leaned in again, his voice a low murmur against her lips. "I swear I'll be your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man if you let me swing by your place every night." 

She snorted in amusement “That was so bad” 

“Was it now?” With that, he captured her lips in a kiss, expressing the depth of his feelings for her with each lingering moment. 

Their lips met softly, tenderly, as if every touch was a gentle reminder of how much they meant to each other. It was unhurried, each moment lingering with the quiet depth of love that words could never capture. There was no urgency, only a profound warmth, a silent apology woven into the way their hands cupped each other’s faces. The kiss held forgiveness, not as a plea, but as a gift, an unspoken promise that they were ready to move forward together. It wasn’t just an expression of love—it was a vow, a renewal of everything they’d shared and everything they still hoped to build. 

After a bit, they pulled away to catch their breath.  

“So, we're together again?”, she asked playfully. 

He looked at her, his eyes sparkling with amusement as before he softly kissed her forehead "Please, we were never not together” 

With that, they fell in silence. 

The silence wrapped around them like a soft blanket, warm and steady, filling the spaces where words weren’t needed. It wasn’t heavy or awkward but gentle, a quiet acknowledgment of shared understanding. The only sounds were the subtle rhythm of their breathing and the faint rustle of the world outside, creating a calm that felt almost sacred. In that stillness, there was no need to explain, no need to fill the air with chatter—it was enough just to be there, side by side, letting the silence speak what their hearts already knew. 

“Are we going to ignore the fact that we're homeless?” 

A small chuckle left Peter's lips as he pulled her closer. 

"You always have to ruin the mood”, he said jokingly, “We'll figure it out, baby. Just you and me. And your dad. We should probably call him and beg him to let us crash because we're kind of screwed otherwise”  

[ashintheairlikesnow]

What If

Bleeding in Moonlight: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven |

CW: Traumatized whumpee, conditioned response to past dehumanization and abuse

Anaya's first coherent thought upon waking was that someone was breathing, warm and damp, against the back of her neck. Her second was that she was nearly hanging off the side of the bed, precariously balanced, pushed to the edge by an enormous weight behind her.

"Eden?" She mumbled. “Can you move?”

Rather than the good-natured grumbling she expected from her boyfriend, she heard a low, animal rumble like an earthquake moving from one body into another. A cold, wet nose touched the back of her neck.

Anaya’s eyes flew open.

Consciousness came back all at once.

She sat up in one fluid movement, turning to look behind her, just barely catching a sense of a huge mass reshaping, growing smaller. Fur became scarred skin, paws turned to palms and fingers at the end of long, awkward arms. It happened in an instant, in the time it took her to blink. The shift was done in less than the second it took to inhale a deep breath.

Her mind refused to accept what she saw or to hold on to what had happened. It simply wasn’t designed to experience something so deeply out of her understanding of the world. Instead, it focused entirely on the naked teenage boy now staring back at her, a boy with a perfectly normal human nose and a perfectly normal human body. 

He laid on his side on top of the rest of the covers between her and Eden - who was still asleep, one arm flung up above his head. Misae’s bare legs were bent at the knees, curled towards his stomach. His odd eyes were wide and ringed in white, and he cringed back away from her in a way that made her stomach flip in shame and guilt. He made a sound like a low whimper.

“I-I didn’t mean to fall back asleep,” He said, a whine edging his voice, looking away and then back at her, his stomach nearly pressed to the comforter with how low he was. 

The curtains still hung heavy over the windows, keeping the room dim, with only hints of yellow morning light lining the edges of the heavy cloth. 

“... Misae?” Anaya rubbed a hand over her eyes. “Why… why’d you get on the bed?”

He didn’t answer her, not at first. She felt the mattress shift beneath her and blinked her eyes open again, watching as the boy eased his way back off the bed and onto the air mattress on the floor. His shoulders stayed hunched up near his chin, his hair mussed up and half-shadowing his eyes. He curled up, knees to his chin, arms around them, looking down and away. 

On the other side of the bed, Eden mumbled something and shifted onto his side, facing away, pulling his blanket up until it covered his head entirely except for his hair. Anaya frowned, turning until she could put her feet on the floor. She arched her back, feeling her spine stretch and flex, the muscles protesting briefly as she pressed her hands to her lower back and exhaled. 

She must have been curled around the immensity of the adolescent wolf in the bed, unmoving. Her muscles were going to be mad at her all day about that, she could already tell. 

Then she looked back down at Misae, who still wasn’t looking at her. When she moved to stand, he flinched, hands covering his head. Anaya hitched in a breath, a chill running from her hair to her feet.

“I’m sorry,” Misae said, voice low and a little hoarse and raspy from sleep. He had curled himself up so tightly all she could see of him was arms and legs and the gray-tinged red of his hair. “I shouldn’t have. Please-... I didn’t mean to-... I couldn’t sleep-... alone, I’ve never slept alone b-before-”

“Oh, honey.” Anaya kept her voice low as she leaned over, holding out one hand. “Hey, you’re okay.”

“I’m sorry,” He repeated, whining again. He seemed to slip in and out of remembering human speech. His instincts, clearly, were canine. “I, I know, no dogs on human beds. I know, I know that, I was just alone and I couldn’t sleep after the moon was gone, I didn’t mean to fall asleep… I just wanted to not be alone-”

Anaya closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “You’re not a dog, Misae. Yeah? Come on, honey. Let’s get some pants on you and make some coffee, okay? You and me. Come on.” She pitched her voice soft and encouraging, and then inwardly winced. No matter what she said, she was talking to him like she might have a dog, wasn’t she?

She tried again, clearing her throat. This time, she kept her voice even and level. “I’ll get you some breakfast.” 

One of his odd amber eyes peered out from behind the dubious safety of those thin arms, and then slowly, so slowly, he unfolded. His stomach growled, nearly as loud as he had been in the bed just a few minutes ago. How long had he been hungry? Better yet, how could he possibly be hungry after all that damn pizza the night before?

Anaya tried to focus on that disbelief. It helped her to not think about the sight of Misae trembling, frightened… of her. 

Scared of having been caught out on the bed, terrified of whatever result he expected to come from that event. 

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, in a whisper that was barely audible, even when they were only a few inches apart. 

“Don’t be,” Anaya murmured back, scanning the room until she found Misae’s discarded sweatpants. She scooped them up and tossed them back to him, turning her back and waiting while he put them back on. Clearly, nudity was going to be an ongoing conversation they would have to keep having - he seemed completely unaware of it until it was pointed out to him. She had the distinct sense he would walk naked into traffic and never bat an eyelash, having no real understanding of the dangers of either.

Anaya padded out into the hall and headed for the kitchen, aware despite his silent steps that Misae had fallen in just behind her. He was still limping on his injured leg, but already he seemed steadier on his feet than he had yesterday.

As soon as the silver was out of his skin, he healed. Just like he’d said he would.

Anaya shoved the thought aside.

She wasn’t really surprised when he didn’t sit down after they entered the kitchen. Instead, he hovered next to her, just a little too close for comfort as she measured out the coffee, dumped spoonfuls into the filter, poured over the water, and listened to the hissing and bubbling as it began to brew.

Anaya closed her eyes, inhaling the warm air with its smell of the dark roast she’d just added in. Almost like chocolate, with a hint of the bitterness the coffee itself would have when it was done. 

Burbling, the dark liquid dripped, slowly filling the glass pot beneath. Anaya watched it for a while, but eventually she couldn’t stand the silence and Misae’s eyes locked on her any longer. “Well,” She said, finally. “What do you usually like to have for breakfast? Not like gas station or rest area food like yesterday, but real food.”

Misae blinked at her. “... They give us meat twice a day.”

“Meat?” Anaya blinked back. “Any particular kind of meat, or…”

“It’s ground up. They put vitamins in it.” Misae shifted to look out the window over the sink. The scars on his back and neck seemed darker, somehow, in the early morning light. Anaya found herself looking at the ancient welts that had faded nearly back to skin, layer upon layer getting darker until the freshest on top were still bright red and seemed too eager to bleed again. To scar like that… did it have to be silver? Did someone cut him, over and over again, with a silver knife? Had it been punishment, or some kind of test?

She blinked back into awareness and realized Misae was still talking. “-all kinds. Chicken, cow, pig. Whatever they have extra they didn’t need, they grind it and mix it together with some eggs and feed us.”

“Oh. Just cooked meat and eggs, no seasonings, huh?” Anaya shuddered at the idea. No wonder Misae had lost his mind over the pizza the night before.

“Meat and eggs and vitamins. Not cooked.”

Anaya’s stomach flipped and she had to stand very still, swallowing against the nausea. A lifetime spent eating mixed-up raw meat just to not starve. “Your meat’s never cooked?”

“No. Austin used to give us hamburgers when Bill was away, until he found out.” Misae apparently felt secure enough to put a little space between them, finally. He moved away and wandered off to the side, looking over a collection of framed prints on Vanessa’s wall. 

“There’s never enough for everyone,” He said, his eyes following the painted violet petals on a flower, lingering on the tiny green-skinned fairy painted hiding just behind its stem. The little fairy winked back at him with a winsome smile.

Anaya fought the urge to sigh. They were in so deep over their head with this. Werewolves were real, they had a teenage one traveling with them, some pretty bad people looking for him who had apparently beaten him and starved him and maybe done even worse than that. She and Eden were living primarily out of Eden’s car and a storage unit in Iowa. Neither of them was even remotely qualified to try and take care of a teenager, let alone a teenager who had… who had lived like that.

This could not possibly end well.

She busied herself cooking up some eggs, while Misae watched silently nearby. He never asked any questions, and when she asked if he wanted salt and pepper in his eggs, he only shrugged as if he had no idea what those things were.

Maybe he didn’t.

Once the eggs were done, though, he inhaled four of them in what felt like three seconds flat while Anaya stared over the mug of her milky-tan coffee, midway through taking a sip. 

She didn’t even think to tell him to use a fork - by the time she realized he was eating with his hands, hunched over the plate like-

Like an animal-

The eggs were already gone.

“Thank you,” Misae said softly. He smiled at her, shyly. He had a bit of egg at the corner of his mouth, and his tongue flicked out to lick it away. Anaya closed her eyes and fought the new rise of nausea all over again. His voice was so sweet, though. He was so happy. “I like eggs much better cooked. They're not slimy, like this.”

“... Glad to hear it.” Anaya barely tasted her coffee as she sipped it, beyond the general impression that it was nearly hot enough to burn her tongue. Her mind kept cycling and cycling through the same few thoughts, over and over again.

Werewolves were real. That was a hard one to shake.

Werewolves were real, and she had one sitting in this kitchen across from her, eating eggs like they were the greatest food ever made. Werewolves were real. Which meant… other ones had to exist out there somewhere, right? There was no way all the werewolves had been in one place. There were others out in the world, maybe not even that far away, who would know what to do to help Misae.

Maybe there was a whole thriving town of them out there, who would be able to teach Misae about how to be human and how to be a wolf. Schools with other werewolves learning reading and writing and how to howl at the moon. Jobs that understood if you couldn’t work night shift three days a month. Absolutely nothing made out of silver.

People who could keep him safe.

Anaya and Eden could find one of those places, find those werewolf people, and… maybe…

Maybe they could find Misae a home.

Assuming, of course, anyone they could find would take him.

What would they do if nobody else would?

-

@finder-of-rings  @burtlederp @deluxewhump @scoundrelwithboba @shrimpwritings 

@yassifiedinformation @wildfaewhump @whatwhump @honeycollectswhump @tundra-tiger

@dont-look-me-in-the-eye @there-will-always-be-blood @fangedcinnamonroll @pigeonwhumps @yassifiedinformation

[a-substantial-trash-pile]

mouthwashing responsibility au rambles below cut 🫡

(spoiler warning for the actual game obviously)

- even though jimmy got deservedly knocked out by anya and thrown into the cryopod early on, the crash still does happen. it's a freak accident this time, like maybe a piece of space debris just happened to hurtle right into them without time to dodge. it's like the tulpar is destined to crash. but this time it's a story about a group of people finding hope and strength in each other and finding what they themselves can be capable of in a time of crisis. btw i just mean curly, anya, swansea, and daisuke. i am NOT repenting jimmy. he ain't "fixing" shit.

- i'm sorry for frying curly again even though this is supposed to be an au with a happier ending 😭 the way his loss of autonomy reflects anya's own loss of it, making him feel firsthand the suffering she went through in a way, felt too important to just remove. curly's injuries aren't as terrible as in the original timeline since swansea rescued him earlier. and by "not as terrible" i mean he only loses a leg and not all of his limbs. he will get some function in his hands eventually and anya teaches him sign language to help him communicate (she teaches the others too).

- speaking of anya, she really shows her stuff as a nurse (even in the original timeline she does, managing to keep curly alive like that). she treats curly and swansea and is much more of a pillar of strength for the crew than she herself realizes. pre-crash and post-jimmy-getting-fired, she was able to relax and open up more with everyone, building a stronger bond. when the crash happens, anya is of course terrified and hella stressed, but now she knows she has people who have her back, and it helps. she can be more confident in herself without a certain someone being there to belittle and hurt her. this time when she has to deal with something difficult, something traumatizing, she has people to support her. in this au, she is not pregnant because if she was, i don't see how keeping the baby would be a good thing for her. and i don't want her to have to deal with that situation without the proper medical supplies on top of everything else. she's been through enough.

- btw there is no shipping in this au. i personally really don't see how it could happen between anyone on the crew. if there was some sort of spark between anya and curly, it's definitely gone now and won't happen again. the most they'll be are friends (although the friendship/trust will have to be built from the ground up again after everything that's happened with jimmy). the only ship here is the tulpar.

- i know daisuke is seen as a "dumb kid" but i really don't think that's the case. we are seeing him thru jimmy's perspective mostly after all and jimmy is the definition of an unreliable narrator. i headcanon daisuke as having adhd like me who tends to lose focus on tasks easily because your brain is just going 102929 miles a minute and wandering to all sorts of places like me. he feels like someone who doesn't exactly know where they want to go in life like me. also he's definitely a hawaii kid born and raised and talks pidgin sometimes like me except i lost the pidgin :(. i'm totally not projecting my asian ass on the asian boy or anything. BUT ANYWAY i wanted to give daisuke more stuff to do and a chance to prove to himself that he can do these things, he can step up. so that's partially why i made swansea burn his hands rescuing curly. daisuke can now be filled with Determination and be swansea's hands in repairing things as he heals. it's going to be hard and it's going to be frustrating for both parties and sometimes they'll get upset at each other. but it will inevitably be a great bonding experience for the two. i cannot resist the call for more father-son moments.

- swansea my beloved. i am so sorry for burning your beautiful hands please forgive 😔🙏 i have to make my faves suffer a little. swansea's hands will heal up eventually and he'll be able to use them again, but there will be scars. i think him having to guide daisuke with doing repairs n stuff on the ship as his hands recover gives him a mission. something to distract him from completely falling into despair and alcoholism. that man is hanging on by a thread but by god he's going to help get these kids through this. they've all grown closer since jimmy was sacked and swansea feels a sort of responsibility towards protecting anya, daisuke and curly as the oldest one there. it's the dad instincts y'know? on the real hard days, sometimes swansea thinks about cracking open a bottle of mouthwash, but he holds back because he feels he needs to stay strong for the crew. however he does have to learn that he can't shoulder everything and that he can rely on others. him having no choice but to have daisuke take over his tasks is a good way for him to learn that, i think. swansea is definitely a pillar of strength in this and the rest of the crew have a lot of affection for him (and vice versa even if swansea won't admit it). can you tell i really like swansea. he is such a foil to jimmy—a guy who has fucked up a lot in his life but actually acknowledges his mistakes and is trying his hardest to be a better person. aghh swansea i love you 💛💛

- after the crash happens, the cryopod room becomes inaccessible, so nobody is able to check on the state of jimmy in there. so they don't see that the crypod he's in eventually fails from damage and he escapes. this happens a couple weeks into the crash. jimmy is still pissed about everything and still can't see how he's done anything wrong (this is because he is a delusional asshole). in fact, he feels like he's the one who's been wronged and betrayed by everyone on the crew and he wants revenge. there will be a final confrontation between jimmy and the crew. spoilers: jimmy loses. i'm just undecided on who finishes it. it would be fitting if anya shot him, but i'm not sure that's something she'd necessarily want to do. she chose to be in the medical field after all. don't get me wrong, i think she would pull the trigger if it meant protecting the others. but i'd hate to have her kill, because even if jimmy deserves it, anya is a healer and would still probably feel guilty about it. i don't want to put even more shit on her plate. so i think swansea is the one to put jimmy down in the end. with the axe of course. i think he'd feel less guilty about doing it because it's something he's wanted to do since anya first told him about jimmy. oooh what if jimmy gets his hands on the gun, but daisuke tackles him, making him drop it, and anya gets it and shoots jimmy in the shoulder or leg or something to get him off of daisuke, and then swansea comes in with the axe to finish him off. that could be fun. that way anya won't have to actually kill but she'll still get to shoot jimmy. bless.

- the crew gets rescued eventually, but it's going to be a few months because pony express is a nightmare company. i'm honestly still not sure if pony express is even the one who will rescue them or even bother to look. i'm tempted to just have another ship happen across them by some miracle and help. real tempted to make that ship The Unreliable and turn this into a Mouthwashing x The Outer Worlds crossover quite honestly since both settings share similarities (megacorporations, cryosleep, etc). but idk. it's not like i can just write a fanfic or anything since writing is harder for me and who knows how long it will be before i even draw the idea. it's just yet another self-indulgent daydream for now.

[limeinaltime]

Made an updated ref sheet for Aster since I hated her old one and her lore's changed a lot since then.

Some notes on her under the cut

Her eyes would've stayed a dark brown until she was 20 if she hadn't experienced her first "death" at 19.

The lore about her parents hasn't changed, they still suck and treated her horribly and were in on Urbanshade's plans for her.

The community she grew up in only treated her well when they wanted her blood, but their abuse and ostracizing led to her ability kicking and and causing people to die. She stopped giving blood altogether after a very traumatic experience.

Aster was one of the nine casualties that Sebastian was blamed for, and she was also the one who turned in the evidence proving his innocence.

SebAster college romance still canon babeyyyy. He vaguely knew she was not entirely human but both didn't care and didn't think about it too much since Aster's just weird anyway lol.

Had anomalous traits long before Urbanshade, they became more prominent once she turned 20. Her tail came in during her time in the Blacksite.

Aster's anomaly was initially intended to be solely passive and for healing (none of the previous Z-777 instances were fighters aside from Z-777-1), but Aster was given a natural ability to fight. She came out of the womb knowing how to kill, but her kind natures combats that... sort of.

Her organs and blood do still kill people if taken from her through force or violence.

Every time she dies, a crystal comes out of her body, usually her stomach or chest. Its properties are unknown, although Mr. Shade claims the crystals can be used to bring back the dead if Aster becomes powerful enough, hence why the experiments are so brutal. Every death makes her stronger, after all.

Basically if V1 was a woman and a human and could heal with her blood as well.

She can still kill people if they took her biomass through force or cruelty. The effects vary but are always lethal. Woe, instant appendicitis be upon ye.

She gives off warmth and comfort when she touches people she trusts thanks to the nature of her anomaly. Best way to describe it is like comforting nostalgia for something in your past that made you feel safe.

Not much of a brawler, but she is very fast and agile and her kicks and bite pack a punch. Quiet a few employees are missing fingers or even whole hands because of her.

The tentacles on her back basically function like the Tokyo Ghoul kagunes and retract into her back when not in use. The thickness and length depend on what she's using them for and are very flexible and strong.

Absolutely shines with firearms due to her own upbringing. She can use the ferryman tokens to ricochet bullets off them since she doesn't really need them to come back from the dead.

Aster can't give people immortality no matter how powerful her anomalous properties get. She could bring someone back from the razor's edge of death, but once someone is dead, it's beyond her power to save them.

"The Huntress" is her true title, "The Cure" would've been her official title if she wasn't a weapon of the divine.

"Laika" is basically a deadname, don't call her that.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

So how do you think Harry's kids got here? Do you think a surrogate was used? Do you think a donor egg and/or sperm was used?

I'm of the opinion a surrogate was used for both kids and that they might not be 100% their biological children. I know some people say Archie looks like August and Lili from her photo when she was one years old is supposed resemble the late Queen at that age. But people often see what they want when deciding who kids look like and kids can look like different people as their faces change.

You could go to any school in multiple countries and find a kid who looks just like Archie and we don't know what Lili looks like because whenever she's been "papped" the person apparently used the worse camera ever and their specially is blurry photos.

More importantly for me the question is why the BRF have played along is it just because they were afraid of being called racist if they said Archie isn't eligible to be in the line of succession? Do they not actually know whether a surrogate was used or do they simply not care?

For Harry and Meghan they should have been open about using a surrogate. They would have received so much support, there would be the conversation about whether people should use surrogates but the majority of the UK would've supported their decision to have a family. Funny thing is it would've made their kids special and got them the attention they wanted. Hiding all the details about the kids has resulted in no one caring about them or having any connection to them.

I would like the truth to be publicly known even it causes problems for the BRF. You won't generally find me defending members of the British aristocracy but if they have to adhere to the succession laws then so should members of the BRF.

I shared my thoughts on this several months ago (sometime between February - May 2024) but I haven't been able to dig that post up. I'll repeat what I said here but I will not be discussing this topic any futher after this gets posted.

What I said several months ago still remains true: Sometimes I think it was a gestational surrogate. Other times I think she really did carry Archie.

On the gestational surrogacy: Their story of Archie's birth, as told via Spare, gives me extraordinary pause because medically, none of what Harry says happened is/was possible. The lack of detail and/or sob story from Meghan also gives me pause. Consider the way she shouted from the mountaintops about her miscarriage in the New York Times. Now consider how silent she's been about her traumatic birth with Archie (according to Harry) or about how California's COVID protocols during her pregnancy with Lili may have affected her mental health. I specifically point out the latter because most of the women I know who were pregnant and/or gave birth between March 2020 - Summer 2021 talked a whole [fork] ton about the COVID protocols in place that made pregnancy an awfully lonely experience. Additionally, Meghan's desire for privacy on these experiences contradict her usual preference to compete with and/or one-up Kate. Since we know Kate had difficult pregnancies, we expect Meghan to either claim she had it worse (which Archie's traumatic birth as described by Harry in Spare definitely is, since KP's reports of the three Cambridge births were "textbook and uneventful") or her pregnancy was so easy, so straightforward, so textbook, so uneventful that she was literally a goddess of pregnancy. But yet Meghan has remained suspiciously silent, even when she's doing her "as the momest mom to ever mom" PR.

On the "Meghan really carried Archie" side: I have a cousin who's as thin as Meghan was pre-Archie, right down to the ankles that could snap. Like Meghan, my cousin's only weight gain during both of her pregnancies was in her belly/baby bump. So I know it's possible for some women to gain no weight but the baby bump. And second, Meghan did gain weight during her third trimester - she was noticeably fuller in her face at the Windsor presentation and had a noticeably fuller body at Trooping and Wimbledon and appeared to struggle losing the weight until spring 2022/Platinum Jubilee. We know that Meghan is incredibly vain to where she wouldn't have gained all that extra weight without good reason - after all, she made Trevor sign a pre-pregnancy contract listing her demands / requirements to get her body back should they have a baby.

Now to your questions:

is why the BRF have played along is it just because they were afraid of being called racist if they said Archie isn't eligible to be in the line of succession? Do they not actually know whether a surrogate was used or do they simply not care?

I've already covered this here. I think you can find it under the surrogacy tag. So I won't go into too much here.

My theory for why the BRF played along is because they didn't know there was a surrogate until it was too late and by then, they were already trapped in the scheme so they had no choice but to go along. Presenting their schemes as faint accompli has been Sussex MO for a very long time, with no one developing a spine until they demanded to commercialize the monarchy.

My theory for why the BRF continues to play along is because Charles is somehow involved and/or implicated and that truth coming out would lead to a scandalously huge lapse in confidence that could only be reconciled by his abdication to William. Charles has waited too long to be top dog to let anything get in his way and I suspect that we'll only find out the truth (or even a partial truth) if Clarence House finds a way to untangle Charles from it.

As I said at the beginning of this post, I won't be discussing this anymore and will not be posting any asks resulting from this. You're free to discuss in comments or reblogs, though.

[beautyofattolia]

I think this is the moment I truly started to dislike Gale.

After reading the first book, I definitely loved Peeta, but I didn't know enough about Gale to either like him or dislike him. He was just there. Katniss's friend and potential love triangle participant. But then Catching Fire starts and in Chapter 2, we get this scene and it really left a bad taste in my mouth that only increases as the series continues.

This really does an incredible job of setting up Gale's entire attitude about Katniss. Their relationship is about him and what he wants. About what he feels like he deserves from her. He kisses her because he wanted to, without any warning or checking in with her to see where she is. He doesn't talk to her about what she's going through or think maybe the best time is not right after she survived an extremely traumatic experience. Gale wants a kiss and he is owed a kiss so by god he's going to have one!

Contrast this with everything we see with Peeta in the first book and even though he too is in love with Katniss and has been for ages, all physical affection is on Katniss's terms. He makes jokes about kissing, but in every kiss, she is the one who initiates and he makes no effort to take that choice or control away from her.

Peeta respects Katniss and her wishes in a way Gale never does and it's never more clear than when comparing the two first kisses.

[superdillin]

The Time We Have

The Time We Have campaign ends soon and I REALLY want as many people as possible to experience this game. I also wanna talk about my experiences playing it!!

I've played this game twice so far. Once was private, with my friend @rowanzeoli, and once on recording for One Shot, with @morebluebs

I have brothers, but I didn't grow up with brothers, and there's the whole "raised a girl" thing so I was a little worried that the dynamic would be too unrelatable for me to truly get the most out of the game. OH! I was wrong.

I would never lay all my emotional cards out on the table for public consumption, because goodness knows that's not healthy to do. Trust me, the game Elliot and I played is emotional, and real, but still has a thin filter of the public boundary layered over it. But in that private game with Rowan I really, really did put it all out, as did she. I sat locked inside my bathroom with Rowan on the other side, and realized that I was playing through a scenario I spend a lot of time thinking about as a chronically sick person - saying goodbye and knowing I'm leaving people behind. Rowan was playing my little brother, someone who felt like I already had abandoned him when I left him home on his own with our homophobic parents. And then, in that moment, I'm leaving again forever, and won't be able to protect him from the horrors outside.

Gang, in all these years being sick, I've gone to so much therapy about confronting mortality, and how to cope with those anxieties. Sitting in that closed white room and playing out my own end of life with someone I love so much took a blacklight to all the unseen critters that I did not realize were crawling through the sheets of my subconscious. And of course that's not enough, because games aren't therapy*, but those are things I now talk about, with my loved ones, with my therapist, with myself. And when that door re-opened and I hugged Rowan we were 10 times the friends we were before. We sat on my couch with a drink, pulling on all the loose threads that the game experience made us aware of and unraveling them with each other. Identity and love and unfinished business and how we are all burdened by each other and why that is beautiful. I learned her life story, she learned mine, we shared insights and wisdom and every so often we kept pointing back to something that was said in that game that lit that part of our real self up.

Playing through themes like this is something that a few years ago, I would never have touched. I came into the hobby a little traumatized and green and I just wasn't ready to use games in this kind of deep and existential way. It was all escapism, no introspection. This game in particular makes me feel so grateful that I've gotten to a place where games can be as deep and as uncomfortable for me as they have the capacity to be.

I think this game is a little window to Elliot's enormous heart, and it speaks directly to mine, and I hope others will love it all the same.

Go back the game please:

*games are like, a little bit therapy. I know that's taboo to say, but like. Lots of things are therapy. These things are not so black and white. I could say more but that's not what this is about.

[rapid-artwork]

Had an Idea in my head for a fun AU. The characters from my game Mother's Favorite where all the robots are humans and all the humans are robots.

It was fun to try and translate the designs in reverse, to make them cute, and then put them in horrible situations.

In this AU, No.4 is an experimental robot made of unknown alien materials. Unfortunately, the project is top secret and when a computer virus within No.4 transfers to the cybernetics of the human crew, a quarantine lockdown is initiated and 4 of the scientists are trapped inside with No.4. They try to get along and repair the damage to No.4 in hopes of reverse the virus, before it is too late. Warning: versions with the gory body horror bits uncensored are under the cut.

A robot that is DEFINITELY not sentient despite having the literal heart of a human powering her. DO NOT imprint upon her, you must remain objective and do NOT see her as the adorable baby that she is.

Little Brother:

Just a happy little doctor man with more PhD's than he has non-traumatic memories. He is totally fine being locked in here, and is NOT repressing any of his emotions, you are acting crazy right now!

Big Sister:

Once a soldier, always a soldier. After the accident, she had to get work as a security officer. She keeps everyone safe inside the quarantine... and keeps them from leaving. Be gentle with her, she is very fragile.

Auntie:

She wasn't even supposed to be working the day the quarantine began, and so she has to make the best of a bad situation. She is terrified of No.4 but has to put on a brave face because it's the only face that keeps her alive.

Mother:

She was supposed to be observing the experiments, but now that she's locked in with the rest of them, she has to get her hands dirty again. Maybe if she keeps replacing the parts of her that feel pain, things will go back to the way they were.

Full resolution images with the scary parts below the cut, click for better detail:

It is my solemn vow that if I make an OC, you WILL see them tastefully disheveled or deeply suffering at some point, you can count on that.

[thebigcjart]

Here's Vriska! Lot to talk about with her, she's very relevant to everybody's character arcs.

Vriska is a member of the Noble Ferring Caste, and her mother, House Lady Araxie Serket does not let her forget it. Lady Araxie demands perfection, and she demands pawns. And even though Vriska is unfortunately impure, she is Fortunately a Spinner.

Lady Araxie is personally disgusted to be seen with her child, but the house needs to have a clear line of succession and so she puts on a face of House Serket pride in public, but behind closed doors?

Vriska's role in the House is that of a Snapper. Something that Noble Houses do in Scadrialternia is having a bunch of ill-bred children with inconsequential house servants or Terris steward/esses in hopes of producing a Misting or Ferring that the public doesn't know about and therefore they don't have to treat them fairly; they get agents with powers that are loyal to their Noble House and don't have to participate in stuff like House politics or human rights. Snappers are people who go to the young bastard children who failed to be born Ferrings and give them a specific mix of all 16 Allomantic metals, then inflict great physical trauma to them with the aim that they will Snap into being a Misting of some kind, and they can tell what kind of Misting they are by what metal they end up burning. Vriska's punishment for being born wrong is beating her bastard first second and third cousins for failing to be at least like her. This is where a good chunk of her superiority complex comes from. It also is very traumatic for her, obviously.

Vriska stores Fortune inside Chromium and can tap it later for a boost of luck and good karma. So, it would be Fortunate for House Serket should she succeed in Snapping them, and it would be Fortunate for her so that she does not incur further wrath from her mother. Her Chromiumminds are full forearm bracers that are actually quite thick; a testament to her physical strength.

During a feud with Terezi in her early childhood, she made Terezi snap into being a Tineye, causing Terezi to blind. Terezi got her back at some point after by sneaking into her room replacing one of her Chromiumminds with a decoy filled with a remote explosive. Vriska put her first one on and began storing Fortune, as she usually does, then put on the fake. Terezi detonated it once she heard Vriska comment on it (using her Tin-enhanced hearing from an explosion-safe distance). The explosion was big enough to take off Vriska's left arm completely, and the shrapnel also got her left eye. She escaped House Serket and got to House Zahhak where Equius could fix her. Equius was going to give her some healing ability or Allomantic Pewter, but Vriska was tapping all of the Fortune she had as fast as she could that the universe decided the best thing would be for Equius to accidentally grab the wrong Spike, and give her a Chromium Spike; giving Vriska a solid chunk of Spiritual Destiny. The Spike was just an experiment for Equius' curiosity, and not intended to be used, but now it is Vriska's Destiny to do... something. Whatever it is, Vriska can't die until it is done, thus ensuring her narrative relevance. Equius isn't a roboticist in this AU though, so her arm is gone for good.

Her typing quirk is replacing "b" and "eight sounds" with the number 8; multiplying vowels and ending punctuation by 8 for emphasis; using 4 colons for 8-eyed emoticons; and replacing vowels with 8s more liberally when highly emotional.

The symbol on her suit jacket is that of Duralumin, which is the Steel Alphabet symbol for "S", indicating House Serket. She wears a necklace with the symbol for the Tuner, because after talking to Kanaya for a bit, she is drawn to the idea of being proud of her Terris heritage, being a Ferring. She listens to Kanaya talk about Terris myths and legends, and finds wonder with the idea, eventually growing to become a firm believer in the Shelter (and also following Karkat once they meet). The image is of her during the 12 teaming up, long after she leaves House Serket, so she didn't look like that growing up.

House Zahhak insisted on keeping Vriska until she was well enough to be transferred back to the care of House Serket, and her recovery was long and painful. Her mother never visited her, and she had to be tended to by nurses who regularly had to ask Equius about Hemalurgical care. During this time, she became pen pals with Kanaya and started to learn more about Terris culture. It was also during this time she learned that she was trans, and she even had visions of herself--a woman--in the future killing a god. her mother finally came to visit her, she deemed that Vriska was no longer allowed to be seen in public, and that the Spike in her eye made her a freak. Vriska received a package from Kanaya containing the personal journal of her ancestor, the Mindfang. Now that was the kind of woman Vriska wanted to be. Her mother made sure to confiscate her Chromiumminds so that "no more misfortune would come of them" but really it was to separate Vriska from her only source of power. Fortunately for Vriska, the Spike running through her skull is solid Chromium, and she spent every moment she could stand storing Fortune.

Once she could move, Vriska learned that Lady Araxie told the court that she had died. Vriska was livid, and made her way to whatever ball was being held in the House. She was tapping Fortune so that no one found her stumbling through the halls. She made her way to the ballroom, and everyone froze once she made it to the central speaking platform to confront her mother in the middle of a toast. She, with almost every high-ranking Noble in attendance, publicly put her abusive mother on blast for every way she has ever been wronged and went on about the achievements of the Mindfang and the Tuner from Terris lore. Vriska--who had now publicly come out as Vriska--Serket officially disowned Lady Araxie as her mother. Her mother's reaction? Calling a bodyguard to return Vriska (who's gender she fully disregarded) to her bed to rest. Vriska was still tapping her vast storage of Fortune, so no one moved. Vriska, blind in one eye from a Spike and blind in the other from rage, ripped the bandages off of her arm and tackled Araxie. She pinned her to the ground with her knees, wrapping her bloody bandages around Araxie's neck with her arm, and pulling them tight with her teeth, strangling her to death. Vriska looked at the stunned crowd, spit on Araxie's corpse, then left House Serket for good. Not a single damn person followed her.

After that, she went to Kanaya, who took her in and redressed her wounds. She kept the suitjacket she once wore because it now was a symbol of the Mindfang to her. Vriska at some point leads Sollux to believe that... something (I havent quite figured out what) was going on at Aradia's place, which leads him to destroy her house with Allomancy unaware that she was still inside. Vriska also before her injuries started beefing with Tavros and pushed him off a cliff. Generally, Vriska is the reason a lot of things go wrong for a lot of people. But also she's integral to the plot of the AU because she can get people in and out of the Condese's palace and is great at interrogation, and even is the one to bring Karkat to kill the Condese.

Some silly quotes:

GC: W3 W3R3 SUPPOS3D TO B3 L1K3 4 V1G1L4NT3 DUO D1SP3NS1NG JUST1C3 GC: 4ND YOU COULD T4K3 TH3 B4D GUYS 4ND G3T YOUR FRUSTR4T1ONS OUT GC: BUT 1NST34D YOU JUST T4RG3T3D 3V3RYON3 TH4T W4S 4 SK44 GC: 4ND L13D 4ND L13D 4ND L13D AG: Yeah, those were the days. AG: I mean, days full of mist8kes and r8gret! AG: But it was still a lot of fun. Watching you dismantle those petty crime g8ngs full of thugs and coinshots AG: Without even having the Metallic Art I aw8kened in you! Wow. 1GC: M3H AG: Come oooooooon! AG: What do I have to do here? GC: 1 DUNNO AG: Well if you want to know what I think, you should start changing your tune. AG: Cause even though you got all these highfalutin morals and fancy reserv8tions, you know as well as me that a killer is a killer is a killer! AG: There 8n't no ch8nging your ways for good, and one d8y you're going to flail that silly l8ttle cane of yours and not find n8thin to 8ump into, and fall f8ce first into the ash ag8in. AG: And you're going to do something t8rri8le to some8ody and wish you could t8ke it 8ack 8ut you c8n't!!!!!!!! AG: And then you'll work hard to win 8ack their trust, and you'll try and try and tr8, and you'll see how hard it is! AG: You'll seeeeeeee!

EB: i think if you feel bad, it just means you have Honor. which is good, right? AG: No. That's not how it works. AG: I'm supposed to 8e just fine with it. AG: This was sort of like a test, and I'm afraid I might 8e failing. EB: how was it like a test? AG: Well, it was the first time I really hurt some8ody. EB: ok. AG: W8! Ok, that's not really true. What I meant was, it was the first time I beat some8ody I cared a8out. EB: so… EB: you beat up other people, that you didn't care about? AG: Yes. Sort of a lot, actually. 8ut there was a really good reason for that! EB: hm. how many? EB: or… do i want to know… AG: Oh, it doesn't matter. Pro8a8ly up to a hundred m8bye. EB: uhhhhhhhh. EB: stormfather… AG: Rusts, I know how this sounds! 8ut I had to listen to her. My mother I mean. I've 8asically 8een playing this role as a Snapper my whole life. It is what she raised me to do. EB: i guess that is why you didn't get along with her? AG: Hell yes. EB: i see. EB: still, that is a LOT of violence. Almighty above… AG: Yeah, 8ut I never felt anything a8out it. It was just normal life for me. EB: but then you finally hurt someone you liked, and… EB: not so cool anymore? AG: Yeah. OH! AG: Ok, that's not quite right. I also almost paralyzed one of my current friends 8efore all this. AG: Man, I always forget a8out him, he's so useless! EB: uh. AG: It c8me 8ack around eventually, 8ecause the spike that s8ved him wasn't able to 8e used on me when I 8lew up. AG: So I guess we're even! EB: … AG: 8ut man. That was years ago. AG: I think I had a really juvenile attitude a8out hurting people 8ack then. I think I was trying too hard? AG: I was always really o8sessed with 8eing the 8est at stuff, and I guess I was trying to 8e precocious in that respect as well, and prove to everyone how 8rutal I could be. AG: 8ut I was such a confused kid! I didn't know anything a8out what 8eating people within an inch of their lives really means. I was trying to fake it, and it caused me nothing 8ut pro8lems. EB: i guess i had no idea how different we really were. EB: what i am hearing is seriously scaring the shit out of me! AG: Yeah, I know. I wish we didn't have to 8e so different. I'm just trying to 8e honest with you, 8ecause like I said, I have nowhere else to go. EB: ok, well i appreciate the honesty. EB: so… if killing isn't exactly wrong, then what is it? EB: what do you mean by "what killing really means"? AG: I guess I have to admit I don't actually know that much a8out Rosharans either! AG: Other than that you are all a8out honor and promises and seem to 8e on a healthier planet, and think hurting others totally sucks. AG: I really have no clue what it means to grow up as a commoner, either. AG: 8ut I do know what it means grow up as a No8le, and what's expected of us. EB: what does it mean? AG: When a No8le comes of age, you 8etter 8elieve it means they're going to start playing dirty. AG: It's what we do as a Class. We are very effective social conquerors, and as such, we practically domin8 our soci8ty. EB: ...i may know something about that. EB: the alethi are kind of known for their warmongering. or… used to. AG: The ones that don't learn to 8e ruthless? They're going to get dominated, dismantled, and 8ecome powerless. AG: And the reality is, it can happen to any No8le House if the Lord or Lady is weak. That's just life for us. EB: that sounds terrible! EB: i would like to be culturally sensitive, but we're working on dismantling exactly that system on our planet. i hope you don't want to continue that. EB: i have started to really like you guys! AG: Well, thanks John. That's nice of you to say. 8ut let's face it, it doesn't rusting matter anymore, since our whole planet is dying! AG: May8e for the 8est, when you think a8out it. EB: :( AG: 8ut at least the cosmere gave us some purpose 8efore wiping us out, right? AG: At least we got the chance to learn a8out you, all they away across those twinkly stars you get to see every night. EB: yeah, that's true.

Homestuck Beta Trolls X Mistborn AU

Spoilers for Brandon Sanderson’s Mistborn series. This is what powers I think the beta trolls would have if they were born on Scadrial

Aradia Megido - Gold or Electrum Misting

Allomancy: ‘Augur’ (Gold: see own Past), ‘Oracle’ (Electrum: see own Future)

Hemalurgy: Cadmium (Placement Unknown: Gold or Electrum Allomancy

It is unknown what her original misting ability was, but the spike from Equius gave her the other one

Tavros Nitram - Cadmium Ferring

Feruchemy: Gasper (Cadmium: Breath), “Bloodmaker” (Gold: Health)

Hemalurgy: Gold (Between Ribs: Gold Feruchemy)

Cadmium compounder; Vriska makes fun of him for having a ‘useless ability’, but doesn’t see the potential that storing breath has. Equius provides him with healing powers to fix his legs through hemalurgy.

Sollux Captor - Born powerless

Allomancy: “Coinshot” (Steel: Push metal) “Lurcher” (Iron: Pull metal)

Hemalurgy: Steel X2 (Left and Right Orbit: Iron and Steel Allomancy)

These spikes were not given by Equius, but instead were applied in a “freak acciident” involving a “jaiilbroken beehiive”.

Karkat Vantas - Copper/Duralumin Twinborn (mutant)

Allomancy: Smoker (Copper: Hide Allomancy)

Feruchemy: Connector (Duralumin: Connection)

I’m not exactly sure why being a natural twin-born is bad in Scadrialternian society, but it is and Karkat’s gotta hide it. Also the castes follow a natural Misting-Ferring-Powerless-Misting-Ferring-Powerless pattern, and Karkat’s caste breaks that so it was completely eradicated through eugenics so im pretty sure he’s the only one.

Nepeta Leijon - Steel Ferring

Feruchemy: Steelrunner (Steel: Physical Speed)

Nothing special, just run-of-the-steel-mill feruchemy.

Kanaya Maryam - Chromium Misting

Allomancy: Leecher (Chromium: wipe allomantic reserves of target)

Her caste is supposed to be powerless, like Equius', but much like how she's a rainbow drinker in canon, she is somehow a misting in this AU. Snapped after Eridan shot her half to death with his “poison wwand strike” (toxic chromium bullets). He did not know that these bullets were Allomantically viable, and neither knew that she would be able to burn chromium. She uses this to sap Gamzee of his massive Zinc reserves, causing him to be distracted long enough for her to kill Eridan.

Terezi Pyrope - Tin misting - Tin Savant

Allomancy: Scout (Tin: Increases senses)

Terezi and Gamzee are the only Savants on the team, which forms the basis of their bond and later kismesitude on whatever this au’s equivalent of the meteor is. She snapped during a feud with Vriska, which left her blind, but she has been flaring tin for so many sweeps that she can basically assemble visual data through her other senses.

Vriska Serket - Cadmium Ferring

Feruchemy: Spinner (Cadmium: Fortune)

Hemalurgy: Left Eye (Cadmium: Destiny)

Forced Equius to use Hemalurgy on her to heal her during a feud with Terezi, but she was tapping Fortune so hard that Equius managed to select the wrong spike and gave her Destiny instead of some healing ability, which is apparently good luck according to the spiritual realm? It’s destiny to be relevant forever I guess so she can’t really die until the plot demands it. She also has Kelsier’s weird metal vision allowing her to peep into the spiritual realm just a little bit. She ended up having her arm fully amputated due to her spirit not being able to accept another spike. Equius in this au isn’t exactly a roboticist, so she won’t get a replacement arm until wayy later down the line.

Equius Zahhak - born powerless

Allomancy: Thug (Pewter: Strength)

Hemalurgy: Between ribs (Steel: Allomantic pewter)

Equius is a Hemalurgist, who was born without allomancy or feruchemy (much like the rest of his caste). He gave himself pewter to make future hemalurgy easier for him (pushing spikes into/through people is physically intensive). He has also given powers to Aradia, Tavros, and Vriska so far.

Gamzee Makara - Zinc Rioter - Zinc Savant

Allomancy: Rioter (Zinc: Riot)

As a Zinc savant, he is so used to being able to fuck with people’s emotions on a whim that he has no idea how to handle empathy without it. He has a very carefree attitude because if someone is saying/doing something he doesn’t like, he can just Allomantic them away. This also means that everyone around him naturally swell with anger and frustration, which leads to the events of the meteor. Rioters and soothers can also gain control of hemalurgic constructs, so I imagine he could take over any hemalurgy users in the party at a whim.

Eridan Ampora - Electrum “Ferring” (Full Feruchemist)

Feruchemy: Pinnacle (Electrum: Determination)

Eridan, like others in his caste, is a full feruchemist, but unlike his other caste members, he only believes that he has one ability.

Feferi Peixes - Mistborn

Allomancy: Mistborn

Feferi, like all others in her caste, is a Mistborn. The Condese is too, actually.

EDIT: Various bits of phrasing and removed the mature label (I have no idea why I wasn't able to before)

[nyratcrg]

// Nyra gave birth to her oldest son naturally, but then went the Cesarean route for the rest of her children. 

[khaopybara]

GMM'S MEN KISSING MEN PODIUM - BRONZE MEDAL KHAOTUNG THANAWAT

Podd Suphakorn, Tonhon Chonlatee (2020) 55:15 Never Too Late (2021) removed from the set👍 First Kanaphan, The Eclipse & Only Friends (2022, 2023) Book Kasidet, Only Friends (2023) Mond Tanutchai, Only Friends (2023)

(set only possible because of all the data gathered by @ranchthoughts who made a whole gmm kissing multiverse post)