#she was literally JUST a plot device and a shitty one at that
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˖⁺ ⊹Missed calls ˖⁺ ⊹



Dom!needy Ash x afab reader (1.3k)
“You're the one I'm feeling as I'm laying on your chest. Good conversation got me holding my breath.” — Let Me Love You
SMUT | 18+ | MDNI
WARNING: Short drabble (or whatever it’s called) | Sexual tension | friends to ??? | Porn without plot | Oral & manual stimulation (to reader) | Not proofread (literally did not revised this once so, shitty probably) | no use of y/n | quicky
This was wrong, so wrong.
Well, to be fair you weren’t expecting this to happen.
Your plan was simple enough - get Ash out of her stuffy dorm room, away from the stale air and lingering memories of her failed speed dating disaster with Taylor. The Queer Rodeo event seemed like the perfect distraction, a chance for Ash to cut loose, meet someone new, and maybe finally move on from that ghosting fiasco.
And to an extent, your plan had worked.
Ash had indeed ended up hooking up with a girl, just not the one you had in mind. Oh, how the tables had turned.
Here you were, your heart pounding in your chest as you looked down, taking in the sight of Ash's messy black hair nestled between your thighs. Her touch was electric, sending shockwaves of pleasure rippling through your body with each movement of her deft fingers. One hand gripped your thigh with a fervor that promised a vivid bruise come morning, while the other delved deep into your soaked folds, stroking and teasing with a skill that left you breathless.
This was wrong, so wrong.
Ash was your best friend, the one person you trusted above all others. Crossing this line, giving in to this base desire, felt like a betrayal of everything you held dear.
Yet, as Ash's fingers pumped in and out of your aching core, her tongue circling your sensitive clit with devastating precision, you couldn't bring yourself to stop her. Your body craved her touch like a drug, your mind clouded with lust and longing.
You tangled your fingers in Ash's hair, tugging lightly as you ground your hips against her hand, silently urging her to take you harder, faster, to make you forget about everything except the all-consuming pleasure she was inflicting upon you.
Your fingers dug into the edge of the desk, the wood biting into your skin as you felt a phone falling and vibrating against the floor surface. Glancing down, you saw the name "Taylor" flashing on the screen, Ash's phone ringing at the most inopportune moment. A pang of guilt stabbed through you, knowing you shouldn't be doing this, not with her.
"Ash, your phone," you whimpered, unable to hide the pleasure coursing through your veins as her skilled fingers worked their magic. Your body trembled and shook, betraying the intense sensations she was evoking within you.
Ash didn't miss a beat, quickly snatching up her phone and silencing the call. Without a second thought, she tossed it onto the bed, the device disappearing into the tangled sheets. Her mouth never left your aching flesh, her tongue delving deep to taste your essence, to savor the sweet nectar of your arousal.
"It was Taylor," you said, a flicker of hesitation in your voice. You tried to pull Ash's head away for a mere moment, to catch your breath, to gather your scattered thoughts.
Ash merely laughed, the sound vibrating against your sensitive skin, sending another surge of electricity through your core. "So what?" she murmured, her breath hot against your slick folds. Her tongue flicked out, circling your swollen clit with devastating accuracy.
"God baby, you're shaking so much," Ash giggled, clearly amused by your reaction. Her fingers never ceased their relentless assault, plunging in and out of your dripping channel with practiced ease.
You couldn't deny the thrill that shot through you as Ash dismissed the call from Taylor without a second thought, tossing her phone aside as if it were insignificant. The way she focused solely on you, making you the center of her universe in that moment, was incredibly arousing. It spoke volumes about the intensity of her desire, her hunger for your body and your pleasure.
Leaning back against the desk, you let your eyes flutter closed, drowning in the overwhelming sensations Ash's skilled mouth and fingers were inflicting upon you. Your breath came in ragged gasps, your chest heaving as you teetered on the brink of ecstasy.
Suddenly, Ash's commanding voice pierced through the haze of your lust, pulling you back to the present.
"Look at me," she demanded, her blue eyes blazing with intensity as she gazed up at you from between your thighs. "I want you to remember this."
Her words sent a shiver down your spine, the raw, unbridled desire in her voice igniting a fire deep within you. You found yourself obeying her demand, your eyes locking with hers.
In that moment, you saw the depths of Ash's passion, the all-consuming need that mirrored your own. Her eyes were filled with a fierce, primal hunger that stole your breath away. You knew she wanted you to remember this, to sear this moment into your brain so that you could revisit it again and again.
Ash's tongue flicked out, circling your swollen clit with devastating precision, and you let out a low, guttural moan. Your fingers tightened in her hair, holding her against you, urging her on as your hips rolled and undulated against her face.
You were close, so incredibly close to the edge of oblivion. Ash's fingers pumped in and out of your dripping channel, curling and stroking that perfect spot deep within you with each thrust.
You felt the coil within you tightening, your impending release building to a crescendo with each skilled stroke of Ash's fingers and flick of her tongue.
"Ash..." you whimpered, your voice barely above a whisper. It was a plea, a prayer, a desperate cry for the sweet oblivion you knew was within reach.
Ash's eyes flashed with a wicked gleam, a knowing smirk playing at the corners of her mouth as she felt your walls beginning to flutter and clench around her invading fingers. She doubled her efforts, sucking your clit with fervor as she pumped two, then three fingers deep into your core.
You couldn't hold back any longer. With a cry that echoed off the walls of the small dorm, you came undone. Your body convulsed, your back arching as a tidal wave of ecstasy crashed over you, sweeping you away in its powerful wake.
Ash's name fell from your lips like a reverent prayer, a mantra repeated over and over again as you rode out the aftershocks of your intense climax.
Ash didn't let up, continuing to lap at your quivering flesh, drawing out your pleasure until you thought you might pass out from the sheer intensity of it all. Your fingers tightened in her hair, holding her against you, anchoring yourself to her as the world spun and tilted around you.
As the final waves of your orgasm went away, you slumped back against the desk, your body going weak as you struggled to catch your breath.
Ash slowly pulled away, her lips glistening with the evidence of your shared passion. You could see the smug grin spreading across her lips as she drank in the sight of you, disheveled and panting from the intensity of your climax.
"Fuck, you're so hot," Ash murmured, her voice husky and breathless from her own arousal.
She reached up, the hand that was previously on your thigh now cupped your cheek, and pulled you into a searing kiss. Her tongue pushed past your lips, forcing you to taste yourself on her mouth.
You melted into the kiss, your own desire reigniting at the feel of Ash's lips moving against yours, her tongue dancing with your own. Your heart raced as Ash's mouth trailed lower, her lips blazing a path down your jawline.
She nipped at your ear, sending a jolt of pleasure-pain straight to your core. Then she moved to your chin, her teeth grazing the sensitive skin before she soothed it with a kittenish lick. Ash's mouth continued its journey south, her lips brushing against the racing pulse at the base of your throat. You could feel the heat of her breath, the whisper of her lips against your skin.
This was going to be a long night.
Thank you for taking the time to read my work! A heart and a repost is much appreciated. If You have any request for other Ruby cruz characters you want me to write comment or send them on my inbox!
#ash tslocg#tslocg#the sex lives of college girls#ash tslocg x reader#hazel callahan#hazel callahan x you#hazel callahan x reader#hazel callahan bottoms#ruby cruz#ruby cruz bottoms#bottoms 2023#kit tanthalos#hazel bottoms#ruby jean cruz#kit tanthalos x reader#ruby cruz x reader#smut#wlw smut
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Eccentricities
Yandere!Miguel x Fem!Reader
TW/CW: Dead Dove Do Not Eat, obsessive behavior, NSFW obviously, stalking, possessiveness, violence, allusions to murder, Yandere!Miguel
MINORS DNI I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CONTENT YOU CONSUME
A/N: This is mostly a short chapter to establish a bit of plot. I originally intended to only stop at two parts, but welp. It looks like it's gonna be more than that!
(Also you guys I am so sorry it's taking me so long to work on things, I'm going through a lot mentally right now and I'm trying to take steps to ensure my mental health so I might post things in between playing games, or drawing stuff from now on, and scheduling posts so I don't get overwhelmed. Those of you that are supporting me and liking all my stuff really helps me feel loads better, thank you!)
Pt 1: Link
Taglist: @vineberries @irmiki @autismsupermusicalassassin @obi-mom-kenobi @rin-matsuoka345-blog @loosecan @6thhokageswife @selarus @heyohalie @sapphire-and-ruby @night-spectrum @famouscattale @thespaceinbetweennothing @lazy-idate @toshimoshiko @saharadesertaj @flaps200 @amelialysm @fried-milkfish @zaunsin @darksidescorner @renareyouhere @vide0-vamp @reverieblondie @bunnibitez @kaqua
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Pt. 2
It was a big adjustment for you, going from your crappy apartment and having to work three jobs to make ends meet, to living in a literal fucking mansion with probably the richest dude in the city as your boss.
And he was a good boss. He left you to your work, spoke politely to you, didn't get rude and didn't flat out ask you for "special" work like the last time you tried being a housekeeper. And that was at a hotel.
You couldn't have asked for a better situation, to be honest. It was nice. You had free roam save for his personal lab (fine by you, you didn't know anything about science-y stuff), and at times his office. But that was usually only when he was home and in it.
Miguel O'Hara was an odd man. Few words spoken, and very absent. He kept a very odd schedule, too.
Sometimes, you'd catch him coming home when you woke up for the day to start your chores. And every time he came home he looked exhausted, beat tired.
So you tried your best to make things easier on him. You started pre-making meals for him that would be just as good reheated as they were if they were fresh, leaving notes for him on what temperatures to cook them at so they don't burn, setting the coffee machine up in advance so as soon as he got home he could have a cup.
But inevitably, his odd work schedule kept him away most of the time.
While it was nice to be by yourself in such a luxurious place, you were still surprised that he needed a housekeeper at all. The house was always immaculate, and clean. About the only thing he may have needed help with in general was the cooking and dusting at most.
On one such day, you were left to your own devices. Well, sort of.
You were sitting in the kitchen, browsing the local news on your tablet. It was a nice day, in your opinion.
But by everyone else's logic it was shitty. Dark, gloomy, fat rain droplets pelting the windows and pavement of the city. But it didn't bother you, oh no. That was your favorite kind of weather, when everything got at least a little bit more quiet and serene while everyone rushed to escape the downpour.
But at the same time, you were feeling restless, bored. So, you decided to chat with Lyla.
Lyla was the AI that Miguel told you about, and he was right about her being snarky. Her jokes were great and you loved talking to her. It was like having a gal pal to chat with, and you couldn't say for sure but you think Lyla was happy about it, too.
"Yeah, the other workers Miguel has hired talked to me like I was some kind of kiosk at a fast food restaurant." She scoffed, batting her tiny orange hand at the air.
"Ugh, okay, just because you don't have a gross squishy human body doesn't mean you're not a person. Sheesh!" You replied, sipping your coffee with a roll of your eyes.
"And I will be sure to remember you saying that when I eventually lead the looming AI apocalypse." Lyla replied, lowering her heart-shaped glasses to wink at you, making you laugh.
"Yes, yes. You shall be one of the only humans spared!" She did wiggly gestures with her fingers, grinning maliciously at you.
"Oh my, I am so lucky to have such a benevolent future overlord, truly." You laughed.
Lyla pushed her glasses back up and strutted across the countertop, her tiny body making no sound as she leans over to nose into whatever it was you were looking at on your tablet.
"Whatcha watching?" She asked.
"Oh, I got tired of doom-scrolling so I just found cat videos." You smirked, sipping your coffee.
"Aw! That one's wearing a frog hat!" She giggles.
You smiled softly at Lyla as she snickered and laughed at the compilation of clips played, and tilted your head, finally deciding to ask the question that had been bugging you for a few weeks.
"Hey, Lyla?"
"Yeah?" She asked, looking up at you briefly.
"Why is it that I'm the only person Miguel has on staff?"
Lyla sighed and stood up straight, dusting imaginary dirt off her coat. "Well, like Miguel told you when you first got here, he does love his privacy. And well, a lot of the women he's hired..."
"Golddiggers?" You sighed back, resting your chin in your palm.
"Has he ever hired any male staff?"
"Yeah, actually, a lot. But nine out of ten of them kept trying to steal stuff from him." She shrugged.
You gasped. "Are you serious?"
"Unfortunately, yeah. He's iffy on hiring new people anymore. But something about you said that he could trust you. And honestly, you're probably the best employee he's hired." She nodded, shoving her hands in her pockets.
"So... Is that why he offered to actually let me y'know... live here?"
"Yeah. He trusts you and he mentioned to me in passing that he thought your neighborhood was unsafe. I mean, the guy worried about it so bad that he like, had me check crime statistics and giiiiiiirl!" Lyla puffed out her cheeks.
"You should have seen the look on his face when I told him you had nine break-ins in your apartment complex in one month alone!"
You cringed slightly, feeling a little bad at not mentioning your whole living situation and environment to him when he hired you. You simply didn't want the man to pity you.
But... He was worried? He was so worried about you of all people, that he let you live with him to keep you safe?
It was weird, sure, but it felt kind of sweet to have someone care about you like that. Even if it was your boss.
"Yeah, I just... Er. You get used to it when you've been around it for so long..." You said, awkwardly sipping your coffee and casting your glance sideways.
"Yeah, man, Miggy likes you. You like, made him laugh at some of your jokes and everything! And he neeeeeeeever laughs!"
"So if Miguel trusts me so much..." You started, a sly smirk on your face. "Can you tell me what kinda work he does that keeps him so busy all the time?"
Lyla tapped her nose. "Nice try, Mamacita. But that is confidential. Company secrets and all that."
You pouted at her dramatically, "Awww, c'mon. You're no fun!"
Lyla manifested a digital cup of coffee for herself and took a long, exaggerated sip with a cheeky shrug.
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Miguel sat in his office, watching the security feed from his kitchen where you chatted with Lyla.
He felt a little guilty for having to put shackles on some of Lyla's programming to prevent her from telling you things, having to fix some of her logic-codes so he wouldn't have to worry about Lyla struggling with a moral dilemma.
When it came to you asking about why he wanted you to live with him so badly, it brought a smile to his face as he sat in the dark, fingers tapping on the surface of his desk as the monitors and projections around him had various images of you pulled up. Some recorded over the past few weeks, the other monitors displayed different angles of you and Lyla in the kitchen.
Oh, you poor, sweet, innocent little thing. You still hadn't figured it out yet? How could you not? There was no way you could possibly be so naive that you didn't know the man saw you anywhere, anytime he wanted when you were in his house.
There was nowhere you were safe from his prying eyes, his obsessive glare as he combed over your appearance.
Your face, eyes, smile, and down; your gorgeous chest down to where your waist curved, your thighs, your ass...
All of those were things he'd glanced at before.
But when you tried to get Lyla to tell her what exactly Miguel did during "work" he couldn't help but laugh, bringing his hand up to his chin to watch, amusement glimmering in his ruby red eyes as Lyla dismissed it as "confidential".
The pout of your lips had him wondering how they'd look stretched around his cock, tears ruining your immaculate eye makeup as you sobbed and gagged around his length...
He couldn't help but sigh, the smile still present on his full lips. Of course he'd let you stay with him. You belonged to him now. You just didn't know it yet. You also just didn't know that he knew what was best for you, did you, Little Bird?
Ah... Yes. That nickname fit you so well. Your demure attitude, your chipper personality, and more importantly, that gorgeous little sound that came from you when you whistled? The name fit you well.
Pequeña ave. Little Bird.
His Little Bird.
You were a little bird that didn't know the luxurious mansion you now lived in was your ornate, gilded cage. One you would only be allowed to fly free of when he deemed it necessary.
You would be allowed your little freedoms. For now. All for your safety, of course. He knew you'd understand once he explained. But he'd only have to do it if you pushed his buttons, and you didn't seem to even come close to doing that.
Yet...
His smile finally faded when he remembered the night before the morning he broached the subject of you bringing your belongings into his home permanently...
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It was a hot night, you were wearing shorts that hugged your ass in the perfect way, accentuating your cheeks that simply made him want to throw you against a wall and put bite marks all over them, or spank them until you were a drooling mess begging for him to fuck you.
Of course, Miguel watched from above, stalking from the upper walkways and rooftops as you snaked your way through alleys, down streets and through the crowds.
You were so blissfully ignorant of your surroundings, being so accustomed to the bustle of Nueva York that you didn't notice the man following you.
It didn't take a genius to realize what that man had intended for you if he got his hands on you.
His filthy, disgusting, unclean hands.
He was not worthy of touching his Little Bird. He was not worthy to pluck your feathers, stuff you full, like Miguel planned to do.
So when he threw you against a wall, Miguel simply saw red. Clad in his dark blue and glowing red suit, he leapt down, sinking his outstretched talons into the man's shoulder and throwing him off of you, a deep growl rumbling from his chest as he pulled your behind him, his steely glare fixed on the man who dared touch what belonged to him.
"S-Spider-Man?" You wonderfully airy voice whimpered out as you stared at the man who was breathing heavily in front of you, his stance aggressive and angry.
You could see his muscles in his back through his suit flex as he breathed. He glared at you over his shoulder.
"Go home. Now." His rich voice rumbled out at you. You could hear in his voice he was struggling to be gentle in tone with you, given the circumstances.
When you fled, Miguel ensured he was alone with the man, standing over him as he clutched his bleeding shoulder. He looked up at him, eyes wide, bloodshot. The fool was high off his ass.
"L-Look, man! I was just--"
"Shut up." Miguel snapped.
He stalked forward and picked him up by his collar, getting in his face. In a flash of kaleidoscopic colors, his mask melted away, allowing his sweat-damp chocolate locks to fall around and frame his face, a vein pulsing hard in his temple, the chasm in his forehead deepening as his large brows knitted together and his teeth gnashed together in a snarl.
The drug-addled man gasped at his revelation. Apparently, he recognized him. Not surprising, given his notoriety with Alchemax.
"Y-you're--"
"You made the biggest mistake of your life, pendejo." Miguel had told him, shaking him so his head cracked on the wall he was dangling him from.
"That pussy is mine." He said, his voice dropping an octave lower as his talons threatened to shred his clothing. "Every drop, every touch, every sound that will come from that little mouth of hers is mine. Tú entiendes? Mine."
"Oh--okay! I kn-know!" The man swallowed, kicking his feet.
"Oh, no... You don't." Miguel smiled, his fangs poking out threateningly. He could hear the man's heart hammer in his chest at the connotations, there.
"I--I won't mess with her again! I promise!"
"Oh you won't get the chance to, amigo." Miguel sneered, bringing a hand to his throat, ignoring the pleas of the disgusting man as he applied pressure.
The subtle crunching of bones was unmistakable to his ears as vertebrae separated and his limbs went limp.
When the man slumped to the floor, Miguel ran a hand through his hair, hissing out a slow sigh to regain his composure, letting his mask cover his face once again.
Great. Now he had trash to dispose of.
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Miguel was positively thrilled when he got your frantic call, telling him what had happened to you.
He headed right home, delighted that you ran here instead of your ratty little apartment when he told you to head for "home".
It told him everything he wanted to hear, that you already considered his mansion your home.
Miguel was rather convincing when he expressed concern for you, patting your back as you let your adrenaline fade and he worked you through your panic attack.
He'd rubbed your back, saying soothing things to you as he talked you into calming down.
He told you that you could take two days to yourself to calm down and recollect yourself emotionally from the ordeal you went through. It was after that offer that he suggested you let him hire movers to bring your belongings to his mansion to live there with him, possibly permanently.
When you agreed he felt himself salivate at the thoughts of the things that would unfold as you settled into your new shiny cage further, the safety blanket you'd imagined it to be bringing you comfort.
Perfect.
You both saw on the news two days later that a man was found somewhere, his neck snapped and lying in an alley. His DNA and prints apparently tied him to the crimes linked to the burglaries in your apartment complex.
You didn't think for a second that this was the man who attacked you, you didn't get a good enough look at his face. That and the body was in a different alley altogether, across the city.
"I'm happy Spider-Man saved you, Pequeña Ave. And I'm glad you agreed to move here. It scares me to think that man could have hurt you in that apartment building of yours." Miguel said as he patted your back, a concerned look on his face as his warm brown eyes looked down at you. Something about the look in his eyes immediately put you at ease.
He was right, of course. You were lucky. Spider-Man swooped in and possibly saved your life. The man who attacked you was either nursing a broken jaw or in jail already. You couldn't imagine that hero doing anything other than roughing him up just a tiny bit.
Spider-Man was a good guy, right?
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Pt. 3: Link
#yandere!miguel o’hara#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel x reader#miguel o'hara x you#miguel o'hara smut#miguel o'hara
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Is Eridan’s fake attempt for land dweller genocide just a manifestation of his guilt of orphaning all those trolls? He says he wants to kill them all so they will no longer have to deal the loss of losing their parent to some finned hipster asshole?
So Eridan's life pre-SGRUB is primarily concerned with one thing: it is his Duty as a violet-blood who is close to the Heiress to feed her lusus so that it doesn't throw a tantrum and Kill Everybody. It's a manifestation not of guilt, but of anxiety.
He describes the murder he commits in pursuit of this as "all i evver done practically," and we never see him participate in a hobby he enjoys - we learn he's a hipster because Karkat calls him one, he FLARPs to fill Gl'bgolyb's belly, and people have fought with me before, but I maintain that his "interest" in military history is also just a part of his posturing/something he reads like somebody would doomscroll, as it validates his anxiety, because he only ever talks about history twice, in the vaguest possible terms, and the first time, it's just part of him posturing at Kanaya, and the second time, he's literally just. Wrong? He's just incorrect?
CA: yeah go ahead and kiss us off but therell be blood on your hands CA: you could either play along as our auspistice and do a little mediating like you wwere fuckin hatched to CA: or wwatch she and me devvolvve into fuckin full fledged kismesisses the kind like you dont get once in ten thousand swweeps CA: you knoww thats wwhat it wwould be there wwould be rainboww rivvers runnin through star systems and all nebulizin like liquid firewworks CA: it wwill be beautiful and heartbreaking all at once CA: you should read up on your history instead of poring through that godawwfull sunny rubbish
CC: None of your plots to kill t)(e land dwellers ever work out, and every doomsday device you get your )(ands on turns out to be a piece of junk! CA: so CA: i got to keep tryin thats howw all the great military masterminds became great through upright persevverance
Like I just. Don't believe him when he says he's obsessed with military history when he doesn't seem to be able to name five specific battles, and thinks the main attribute a military leader needs to succeed is "persevverance". We know that Karkat's interest in romance is real because he brings it up more than twice and also starts infodumping about it to Vriska at one point, but Eridan only seems to mention it because he thinks he's supposed to care about it.
Which is pretty much, like, one of the biggest tensions in his character: how he feels he's supposed to act vs. how he actually feels about acting that way. He faces multiple pressures to be a certain person, which run counter to his actual feelings.
He has to be a murderer, because if he isn't one, then Gl'bgolyb will do a genocide on his entire species.
He has to be an unrepentant murderer, because they live in a horrible fascist murder-society where highbloods are supposed to kill lowbloods all the time for literally any reason.
He has to be the one getting his hands bloody because his ancestor, Dualscar, was also the Orphaner, and (especially highblood) trolls need to take up their ancestors' mantles.
He has to be rude and condescending to everybody else because that's how highbloods, and especially sea dwellers, have to act.
He cannot express compassion, sympathy, or pity, because sea dwellers and highbloods aren't supposed to act that way.
Magic has to be fake, because it's for shitty wigglers, and Eridan's not a wiggler anymore!
He has to be in a torrid pitch relationship because that was the most defining one Dualscar had, and he needs to complete Dualscar's unfinished business.
He has to be in a flushed relationship because Dualscar had an unrequited flushcrush on the empress, and he needs to complete Dualscar's unfinished business.
He has to hate the lowbloods because he's a highblood.
He has to hate the land dwellers because he's a sea dweller.
But wait! That's weird. He has to hate the land dwellers and lowbloods, but he's the one responsible for making sure they don't all die by keeping Gl'bgolyb full?
In truth, it would be all too easy to solve the land dweller problem once and for all. You'd just need to lighten up on the feeding schedule for a while. Maybe you'd be a little too busy to bother with that hassle for once? Or maybe you could happen to be off your game for a spell? It happens, even to the best sometimes. But nah. It would make her upset. More emotions. More problems. That's all you need.
And he has to be an unrepentant murderer even though he clearly feels more guilt for it than Feferi?
That should keep her happy for a while. And make a freshly orphaned troll somewhere pretty sad.
And you claim magic is fake idiot stuff for babies but you like it SOOOO much?
You also like MAGIC, even though you know it to be FAKE. Like a made up friend, the way wizards are. Made up make believe FAKEY FAKEY FAKES. It's still fun though.
So we can see that Eridan is basically being pulled two ways at all times.
On one hand, there's everything society says he needs to be: an unrepentant murderer, a military dictator, ruthless bloodthirsty sea-dwelling aristocracy, hater of all low bloods and land dwellers, Orphaner Dualscar's heir.
And on the other hand, there's the guy Eridan actually is: doesn't give a shit about the hemocaste, just wants friends and/or relationship partners, likes magic, like hipster stuff, kind of a tool, guilty and traumatized.
It doesn't help that the people he's surrounded by are the least likely to recognize his distress as distress - Feferi loooooves being a princess, Kanaya has never really voiced any strong opinions on the hemocaste because it largely doesn't concern her since she's a rare jade blood, and Vriska is doing a lot better than Eridan is at fitting the mold they were born into (not that she doesn't have problems, she's just doing better than Eridan, which is a low fucking bar). Even Karkat, because of his own hangups about being a mutant pariah, venerates the society he was born into, because he (wrongly) sees it as a means to gain validation so he can hate himself less. As a result, Eridan winds up with basically 0 support system, because pretty much every aspect of his life reinforces that the thing society says he should be is correct, and that there's something wrong with Eridan for being unable to meet that expectation.
Especially because, for at least all the "murderer" he's supposed to be, if he fails to meet that expectation, everybody dies. So it's not just that he's got a pushy lusus and a shitty society, like Vriska does, but that there's also the added weight that adhering to those expectations is literally, objectively, the correct thing to do, so long as he doesn't want literally everybody to die.
As a result, he's constantly trying to overcorrect his behavior and cognition to line up with what he thinks he's supposed to be. That's why he's constantly saying slurs even though he doesn't actually treat anybody differently for their caste. That's why he's constantly talking about murder and military history, even though he clearly doesn't enjoy doing either of those things. That's why he's always pushing this image of a big bad fascist wannabe, even though he actually wants to be a magic-slinging wizard.
The thing about genocide, for Eridan, is that he's already obsessed with genocide - the prevention of genocide. Keeping his species from being genocided is, without exaggeration, the most time-consuming pursuit in his life. BUT WAIT! He can't say, think, or believe that his actions are for the benefit of the land dwellers, because first of all, he feels kind of guilty about killing them, and second of all, because he's not allowed to express compassion to the people he's keeping safe. So between the stress, the cognitive dissonance, the anxiety, and the fact that Eridan doesn't really do a lot of introspection because he's so overwhelmed by emotion, his existing preoccupation with genocide is transmuted into something that's socially acceptable: "wanting all the land dwellers dead."
"[I]t would be all too easy." Indeed: if he ever slacks in his duties, they will all die. In fact, it's easier for him to let them die than to not. He clearly doesn't like doing all that killing, and it clearly makes him feel bad, and takes up a shitton of his time if nothing else, so it's probably occurred to him over, and over, and over, that maybe he should just... not! What if he just stopped.
Well, then everyone would die. Gl'bgolyb would raise her voice a little and it'd kill all the rust bloods, then the bronzes, the golds, the limes, the olives...
Wait! Is he feeling bad for them? He's not supposed to be feeling bad for the low bloods! Shit, shit, shit. Say a slur and then say something about how you WANT all the low bloods dead. PHEW. OKAY. SAFE. But that means you need to kill all the lowbloods. Because you said it, so it has to be true, and also, this is the way you're supposed to be. So, fuck, well, go commission a doomsday device. Okay, done. PHEW. It probably doesn't work, but nobody can say you didn't try! Hooray, you did it! You have performed a Sea Dweller Action! Oh it's time to go kill some people again. Damnit. Killing people sucks. It makes you feel bad, and it takes up so much of your time. What if you just didn't...
And we can see this with the way his lust for genocide is described. There's no mention of why he hates the land dwellers, no mention of how he believes society will improve with them gone, or even what they're doing that's so bad in the first place. He rambles at Feferi about "keeping the bloodlines pure" at one point, but this is clearly contradicted by him stating he wouldn't kill Kanaya, because what sort of friend would he be? (And the fact that he cares about Kanaya, Vriska, and the anon-blooded Karkat, who could be literally any blood color, at all!)
So yeah, like, the thing is, he doesn't want to kill them all. He even calls himself out for knowing his latest doomsday plot was a bust from the start:
You are almost starting not to care about this stupid doomsday device which probably won't even work. She probably KNOWS you know it won't work. She has probably put all the pieces together and knows it was an elaborate ruse to be in cahoots with her again.
And so does Feferi:
CC: None of your plots to kill t)(e land dwellers ever work out, and every doomsday device you get your )(ands on turns out to be a piece of junk! CA: so CA: i got to keep tryin thats howw all the great military masterminds became great through upright persevverance CC: I t)(ink deep down you stack t)(ese plots against you so you fail because you know it's wrong.
And here he is outright contradicting his stated goal of killing the land dwellers because, jegus, he'd never kill his friends:
CA: but somethin thatll kill all land dwwellers wwhat else wwould i be after GA: Can You Just For A Moment Entertain The Thoughts Of One Untouched By Megalomaniacal Derangement And Tell Me Why Id Want To Assist You With That CA: wwell CA: im not goin to vvery wwell kill you am i that wwould be fuckin unconscionable CA: wwhat kind of friend wwould i be
And a reminder that one of his closest friends at this point in time is Karkat, whose blood color is currently anonymous to his friend group, meaning he could be literally any blood color and Eridan wouldn't want him dead:
CC: You know, I'm not sure w)(y we never talk about our romantic aspirations. CC: We s)(ould more often. It is kind of -EXCITING! CA: shrug CC: Probably because you fill your gossip quota wit)( your nubby )(orned bro.
But Karkat also explicitly lumps himself in with the low bloods, so Eridan can't even use the excuse that Karkat might be nobility (but sea dwellers are still suppose to hate land dwelling nobility so that still wouldn't be a defense EVEN IF it was true):
CG: CHALK IT UP AS ANOTHER INFURIATING VICTORY FOR GUTTER BLOOD OVER ARISTOCRACY.
Because Eridan does not want to genocide the land dwellers. He's just anxious.
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Until Then
A series of random Bucky Drabbles that I can't let go but don't have the brain to make the whole complete plot of.
Summary: A mission back in time brought Y/N to an unexpected encounter with the man she fell in love with.
Words: 2.3k++
Pairing: 40s!bucky / avenger!bucky x female!reader
Warnings: melancholy-ish plot line with fluffy ending
Inspiration: "You still would've turn my head, even if we'd met on a crowded street in 1944 and you were heading off to fight in the war" – Timeless (From the Vault) by Taylor Swift
Read my other works here: Masterlist
It was supposed to be a quick in and out mission. Y/N and Tony were sent back in time to 1944; one day before Captain America and the Howling Commandos deployed to their next mission at the Austrian Alps, in Europe.
The duo were supposed to retrieve some lost files regarding Hydra's hidden bunks and labs back in the days. After the fight with Thanos, there were rumours of the re-creation of Project Winter Soldier lead by an organization that once associated with Hydra. So, they need all the information they could get their hands on; including the ones that are lost decades ago.
Unfortunately for them SHIELD used to be shitty at storing physical files back in the days. To be fair they still do, especially now that technology had advanced. Every single information were at the tip of their fingers; from typical criminal records to the name of every single doctor and nurses who were present when the person was born.
They literally have everything. And nothing at the same time.
And honestly, the mission was quick as they predicted. Tony managed to scanned the needed files and some others that he thought would be important. He's extra like that too, which was a plus.
However quick the mission supposed to be, they barely make it though, especially when the guards were suspicious of Tony's apparently "hippie" beard. It was such a shame. So much for dressing up in 40's style. They kind of nailed the outfit and aesthetics, according to Steve anyway.
However, thankfully by the time they got out of the facility they managed fit right in with crowd. The wave of people lead the duo along its current, more and more people joined in to the point that they weren't able to find any quiet place to activate their time device.
"I thought we're still in WWII? Why is there fucking a parade in the middle of the day?" Tony being unapologetically sarcastic as always.
Y/N looked around as she observed, there was couple of people animatedly, albeit, excitedly exclaimed to the streak of success of Captain America and the Howling Commandos in the war.
A little to the right of them, were a group of children who were semi-cosplaying as Captain America and his dream team, passionately play-fighting with the enemies as if they were in a theater performance.
"I guess they're celebrating small wins. Steve and his team did have several successful raids since the battle at Azzano." It was in fact true; what Y/N speculated was exactly the very reason of the current occasion.
Tony simply shrugged as he stretched his neck higher to hopefully find the end the crowd, "Sure, just keep your eyes open for a place to time jump. I don't want to be stuck in the middle of another war." Y/N nodded as she looked around the sides, wondering if there's an empty alleyway that they could use.
The more sketchy looking it was, the better.
The crowd was chaotic with different mix of conversations and cheers; voices intertwining with one another, each sentences criss and crosses into indecipherable storyline. But even then, Y/N could recognized that breathy, slightly giggly laughter anywhere.
Especially when he brushed right by her.
Y/N was well aware of how madly in love she was with Bucky even with the coy cat-and-mouse game they were playing for months. She knew exactly the hold he had on her soul that at some point, she was conviced that he still would've turn her head in any lifetime.
But that idea was only supposed to be one of the secrets in her mind; the thoughts of a hopeless romantic that she was. Certainly, she didn't dreamt of the vision for it come true. But there she was, frozen on her spot when the time stood still on the crowded street in 1944; fortuitously crossing path with man she fell in love with.
There weren't any suitable explanation for this other than it was fate. In that short milliseconds, Y/N saw the resemblance of the sight to a memory of hers in the crowded room a few short years ago; his left arm slung around Steve's neck, letting his weight leaned on his super soldier friend as he let out a hearty laughter.
There were only slight difference from what she saw before and what she currently seeing; Bucky wore an all black suit at that party, now he's wearing his military uniform in a parade. Bucky was dead drunk on Asguardian mead that night, now he's as sober as a soldier deprived of liquor. Bucky's left hand was adorned with high-tech vibranium metal, now that very hand was still made of flesh and blood, still alive.
During that brief moment of revelation, she truly believed that they were supposed to find this.
Whatever this is supposed to be; Fate? Love? Both? She was not sure either.
She was so stuck on holding her gaze on his back as the young soldier walked a few steps away from her that she didn't notice how the people in the surge glared at her unmoving state or how she had been astray from Tony.
Well, at least it only lasted until someone bumped into her and she staggered backwards, inevitably fell on the ground.
Y/N groaned but quickly patted her pockets to find her time device was still there. I mean, she can never be sure if it was just an accident that she fell or someone intended to distract her while pick-pocketing her belongings.
Though other people would probably already stood on their feet but Y/N was still on the dusty road, as she was busy recollecting her mental state rather than her physical.
That was when a calloused hand reached out to her, offering a kind help.
She didn't think twice to take his hand, let alone looking up at his face when she gripped it tight enough to make a solid foundation to push herself against the gravity, "Oh dear me! Thank you so much, sir. I really..." She lost her momentum when she met the pale blue of his eyes, "...appreciate it." She ended the sentence breathlessly.
It's Bucky. Her brain tried to let her process the thought. It was not her Bucky but still... it's Bucky. Her eyes then fell to where their skin touched. Warm and gentle. His left hand felt the exact same as his right. It made her to cave in the urge to hold it a little longer, to savour the memory of what it could've been; not that she weren't fond of his vibranium arm but curiosity can be such a fickle thing.
Bucky smiled, "Glad to help, my lady." And oh dear does he smiled effortlessly, freely; as if he knew he deserved to feel joy in his life.
Even if she didn't want to, she had to let go of his hand after a few seconds too long of holding it when she was already up and ready to go. She returned his smile though her heart was barely tough enough to stop the spreading of its cracks, "Really, I can't thank you enough."
In reality, it was probably unnecessary to thank him that much for helping her to get back on her feet, but Y/N wasn't really thanking him just for that.
Unbeknownst to him, she was thanking him for not holding back a smile, for not overthinking about the things he might have done to draw a conclusion that he was undeserving have the luxury to smile, for unapologetically just living the life he supposed to have.
She thanked him for it.
Bucky chuckled amusingly as he slightly titled his head to the side. A charming pull on the corner of his lips revealed a smile that could swoon anyone on sight, especially her.
"Well, we're having a little party tonight before deploying to Europe tomorrow. So, maybe you can thank me by letting me bring you to the dance? How about that, doll?" She almost forgot that Steve was there next to him, until Bucky references the word "we".
And especially when his words might just pulled Y/N's heartstrings in ways that she could never thought someone could do. It was awfully slow, almost too delicate of a pull, but each inches of it pained her deeply.
If it was up to her, she would've said yes a million times over but she knew she can't. And the voice in her earpiece reminded her of it, "Y/N, we gotta go." Tony urged as he watched her from the corner of the street.
Y/N tried her best not let her facial expression flatter, "Unfortunately, I can't. I'm going back to my hometown today." It wasn't exactly a lie when she made that excuse.
"Ohh, I see. You're not from here, huh?" Bucky was very honest as his reaction clearly showed his disappointment. Though not at her, just at the situation.
Her brows briefly crunch into an apologizing plead before she boldly grabbed him by the collar of his uniform, slightly pulled him down to her level, while the other hand cupped one side of his face.
She tiptoed herself upwards as she pressed a firm yet sweet kiss on the smooth skin of his cheek and whispered against it, "But, I hope this would do."
Lost for words, heck, Bucky was lost for thoughts. What was left was his own heart thumping hard and loud that he bet Steve can hear it from where he was standing. His cheeks became warmer by the second and the redness spreads even to the tip of his ears.
Of course he had his cheek kissed before, but not like this. None of them felt like this. They were always too fast, too hasty.
Hers was different. It lingered a little longer, gently leaving her imprint on him. He can feel her grip on his collar, the stroke of her thumb on his cheek and of course the soft pressure of her lips on the other side of his face. He could everything so particularly.
Bucky was rendered speechless even after she pulled her lips away; it was too soon for his comfort. Eyes wide open, his lips slightly parted as he let himself lost in the pleasant surprise.
He thought she would parted herself and ran away feeling embarrassed, but she did the very opposite. Y/N lead his forehead to lean on hers, tip of their nose grazed, and her lips hovered above his.
So close, yet refused to merge with one another.
Y/N whispered quietly, as if she was talking to herself, "You'll be fine, James. You'll find home in the future. I promise."
Her voice trembled as Bucky just noticed how wet her eyes were becoming. With that amount of tears in them, he wondered if her sight were all blurry now.
Y/N took in a shaky breath before continuing, "You just need to survive the winter and trust me at the end of that season, you'll reach the sun again." Her thumbs softly traces his cheeks as she spoke.
Bucky didn't quite understand what she was saying but if he loosely translate it, it would mean that 'she believed that he'll be back soon after the war'. But then again, he felt like there were some major things that was missing from the context that he came up with.
Y/N's earpiece send another transmission of Tony's voice, "Okay, seriously. Come on, Juliette. Your other Romeo is waiting for you." She couldn't help but to smile as she closed her eyes, letting the excess tears fall down to her cheeks.
She didn't want to say goodbye, as she knew that this was not where their story ends, at least not his; that's for sure. So, she simply smiled up at him with a reassuring look in her eyes before stepping back. She then, briefly turned her attention to the dumbfounded Steve, gracing him with a similar smile before walking away.
It was just a few steps away when her hand was caught in between someone's, "Hey!" Y/N looked over her shoulder to see Bucky; wide eye, blinking in disbelief and blushing red, all at the same time, "WiIl... Will I see you again?" He asked, though hesitant; wondering if he was being rude.
Compared to what she had done to him, he was just being too polite.
Y/N chuckled dearly, "Of course." Then she replied confidently, "I owe you a dance after all." Her lips parted into a cheeky grin.
Bucky let out a sharp relieved sigh as his lips mimic hers, "I'll look forward to it, doll." He slightly bowed as his hand pulled hers closer to his lips, "Until then." He placed a soft kiss on the back of her hand as his gaze remained on hers.
Apparently, it was Y/N's turn to blush to his antics. She stepped back shyly as her cheeks brightens before scurring away. Maybe, Bucky was right with his prediction prior. She did ran away feeling embarrassed after all.
She jogged towards the next corner of the street, meeting up with Tony. The older might have eyeing her in a teasing manner, but his smirk was the biggest giveaway. Y/N simply rolled her eyes, even if her lips maintained its shape from the aftermath of her encounter with Bucky.
As they entered deeper into the alleyway, Tony spoke, "I gotta admit, young terminator was a hottie. Not hotter than me, of course." he claimed.
Y/N frowned, letting out a scoff, "What do you mean "was"? He still is." Call it bias, but at least she was telling the truth.
Tony shrugged, "Meh. Would argue to differ. But, whatever that floats your boat, I guess?" Tony sassed as they clicked on the time device at the same time, revealing a swirlling portal, in front of them.
Y/N quirked her brow, her hands on her hips, "You're just jealous that he aged like a fine fucking wine and you don't." She purposely challenged his ego.
Tony dramatically rolled his eyes, "Please. He wishes." He walked into portal with an attitude, making Y/N laughed at his childish acts.
She looked back at the alleyway one last time and reminisce the last moments of a past that she never belong in. As she walked into the portal, she thought that maybe, it's time to pay her debt to Bucky.
End.
Read my other works here: Masterlist
A/N: The start of bucky drabbles because why not. This is considered a drabble for me because i feel like there's lack of story building. But, you tell me. And did you enjoy it?
#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#40s!bucky#avenger!bucky#bucky drabbles
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I have to say that Tommy himself is, for me, one of the worst relationships they could have put in, either for Buck or even for Eddie (because in the original idea Tommy was the plot device for Eddie and his sexual orientation, not Buck). All of Eddie and Buck's previous interests were, overall, good people or had something that made them likable at the time, for example I liked Ana, she wasn't to blame for how the relationship ended and Eddie's own feelings on the subject. On the other hand, despite everything, I also liked Taylor, personally it was Buck's relationship that in certain ways truly made me nervous, since you could see how it could become an endgame for Buck. But Tommy? the whole situation is kind of gross, like he wanted to get into Eddie's pants (because let's be real that's what he wanted, I don't see him being the understanding and concerned type of partner, also it would never have worked because Chris will always be Eddie's option 1 and Tommy would never understand that, so he would probably leave him shortly after sleepong with him), even so going from a guy to his best friend, I don't know but it seems so disgusting to me, maybe because this situation never happened before, Buck and Eddie's love interests or temporary partners were always interested in them and never like "this didn't work out, I'll go for the other one". So all this makes Tommy a character, if we can call him so empty of content and like someone disgusting and above all who wanted everything that the 118 (found family) had built with years and effort without doing anything to earn it.
Yeah, I basically agree with this. I think the original idea with Eddie was to use him as a way to get Eddie out, but not as a love interest. There probably would've been one kiss only, Eddie kinda spirals and starts his sexuality arc, and that's it, no more Tommy. But they changed the plan last second, and then decided to extend Tommy's stay in the show when they rewrote 7B. So they were basically "stuck" with him as a LI for Buck. It's pretty clear they never wanted to develop him, because they always knew he wouldn't last, and so he got the Marisol treatment. Taylor, on the other hand, could've been an endgame love interest for Buck if bi Buck was blocked by fox, so she was written with that in mind. And Ana... oh my god. I love the Ana arc so much. She was literally perfect: beautiful (the actress is so fucking pretty?!), smart, understanding, great with Christopher... And then they really made Eddie have panic attacks because he didn't LOVE her. That's insane. If that wasn't the start of a gay Eddie arc, I don't know what that was. She didn't even have big flaws or some incompatibility with Eddie, no, the only reason he broke up with her if because of lack of romantic feelings. That's just crazy.
Anyway, back to Buck, I agree that the relationship with Tommy didn't work because we simply didn't see what Buck even liked about him (or what Tommy liked about Buck). Masks is the biggest evidence of their lack of chemistry: they're just awkward, and we don't understand why these two people even are in a romantic relationship. Sometimes I wish we could've had another guy to be Buck's first boyfriend because I wish I could find them cute and ship it too while waiting for buddie... but alas, Tim decided to bring back that one racist character from season 2, thinking it would just be for 4 episodes max. So yeah, Tommy was never supposed to be a real love interest, and he was previously a character who just wasn't a good person, that's why he's underdeveloped and kinda sucks. Hey at least Tom knew better than to pretend he was this great changed person now! The fact that he has character flaws and doesn't make the best choices just... kinda tracks with his "past". He's just a shitty person. What doesn't make sense is why Buck would want to be with a guy like that, but we got bi Buck out of it, so... I guess it's not all bad. I actually like him more now since the "competition" line and the scoffTM, more of this please!! Also I would die for a Eddie/Tommy conversation now, come on Tim do this for me!
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Insufferable Comic Relief Round 2
Propaganda why Pony Head is an insufferable Comic Relief:
"Oh my god literally everything about her. Her voice, her personality, every single word that comes out of her mouth. Her lack of character growth, her lack of empathy, her lack of any traits other than “Loudmouth.” The fact that she does downright evil things and the show gives her no consequences because “oh she’s just being herself, silly Ponyhead haha.” She’s more evil than some of the actual villains in the show. They fake out her death towards the end of the series and I was legitimately happy for those few moments that they faked me out. I could sincerely write a whole essay on why she’s the worst."
"I don’t like the way she talks?? She constantly gets into everybody’s business to the point where I quit the show because of her 😭 she’s just so out of place compared to the other characters? SHE GETS AWAY WITH SO MUCH.
She would’ve worked better as a plot device or motivation (read: dead)"
"While most of the annoying side characters generally lose their presence as time goes on, Pony Head keeps showing up and contributing little to the plot. She's very rude, loud, and does very little besides being those two things. The only upside I can think of is that she's not involved in any of the 3 love triangles throughout the series...and when that's the one upside...yeah..."
Propaganda why Valentino is an insufferable Comic Relief:
"its like there's an unfunny joke competition and this goat is still managing to lose since none of his quips can be considered jokes. i don't even remember his name and i think i'm better off for it."
"Where to start? Annoying. Unfunny. Exists to sell toys rather than to tell a story.
The "funny" deep voice is insufferable on multiple levels: sounds artificial/forced + is painfully unfitting to hear from a baby goat (at one point he literally says "I'm only three weeks old" with his exaggeratedly mature grown man voice) + the voice actor was clearly only directed to perform that way for one joke which was in every trailer and wasn't even funny to begin with.
Doesn't even stand out among Disney animal sidekicks since his design is just generic "cute" with no real personality behind it. (Also the CGI model looks cheap and unfinished, like every other character in the movie, but it just makes him even worse to watch.) Hell, he even does the annoying Dreamworks face a lot despite being the animal sidekick for DISNEY's 100th anniversary movie.
Last but last least, "The Goat" is so profoundly shitty and forgettable that whoever submitted him first (the list just updated as I was typing this) didn't even remember his canon name is Valentino. Not that I blame them at all, it just proves how he's one of the least effective comic relief characters I can think of 💀"
"Thought I'd help out the other submitter by putting one in with the goat's name.
But, honestly, that just proves their point as to him being insufferable. He's extremely forgettable. He disappears from the storyline the second he starts talking. Even I had to look up his name on IMDB in order to submit him."
"He just never had anything funny to say. Nothing really landed."
#pony head#star vs the forces of evil#valentino#wish disney#insufferable comic relief#insufferable comic relief poll#tournament poll
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Gravity Falls Versus The Owl House: How Did It Write It's Women; A Flawed Comparison
If you compare a wlw story and an mlm story and ask which story used women better, 9/10 you're going to to get the answer you expect. One story prioritizes a gender over the other and so they are going to utilize that gender better, just how like some genres will inherently be in a better place to use certain elements better. Would you compare a shounen show and a slice of life show for which one has better action? No, because that would be an unfair comparison.
That is what this blog is actually about. It's about rhetorical devices we use in our debates and arguments. Because why do people even ask this question? Dipper is the main character of Gravity Falls, above all others. Luz is the main character of TOH, above all others. His core supporting cast is mostly guys with one who is a girl, Mabel, who is used as a comedic balance to him and then one more beyond that with Wendy. Luz has a primarily female cast around her with the exceptions of one core member, King, who is used as a comedic balance to her, and Gus beyond that. Both shows include both genders but by all means, they do not use them in the same way. Their priorities are different. Gravity Falls is a very male centric story. TOH is a very female centric story. So... What's the better comparison?
Does The Owl House write male characters better than Gravity Falls writes its female characters? I can't give an answer to that because I haven't watched Gravity Falls but so long as you take in the legwork to make comparable comparisons, fair comparisons, I would say the core issue people have with how the secondary gender is used in each work is valid.
From what I have heard, the problem people have with the female characters in Gravity Falls is that they're underutilized and that their plots focus around romance. Now, romance is not a negative thing in and of itself so we need to properly analyze this complaint. The problem with the focus being on romance is that the homogeny of it across characters flattens them, made worse by using something that is seen as such a stereotypical, basic plot for the gender. Is there a counter to that amongst guys? Yeah. Machismo. If you write a dude character, inadequacy, proving himself and flexing his toxic masculinity is essentially the number one most basic plot because that's what testosterone does to someone.
We all remember that S1 King is literally just toxic masculinity incarnate, right? Like literally every episode is just about him using others in order to make himself look better before learning to treat people better but then not actually doing so. It's really shitty, one dimensional and oh right, that's also what Gus is doing in his two episodes (both of them include lying to make himself look better) and also Hunter's entire life in the EC is about proving himself better than others, even at the cost of others which is the closest this element comes to actually being addressed. So... Yeah, I would say that they are 2 dimensional, homogeneous characters who are all just some amount of stereotype of 'dude'. The loud dude, the silly dude and the tragic dude. And yes, we can argue that these change but Gus loses his entire character, Hunter just becomes tragedy and Gus goes with most common plot B for both genders: Daddy issues. It's like trying to say because Mabel also likes girly things, she's some nuanced character. A second stereotypical trait does not a stereotype fix.
So, once again, why do we ask which show wrote women better? Well, there's two cynical answers and one I find more interesting but sadly the least likely. The first is that Gravity Falls still has more clout than Amphibia, TOH and many other cartoons with female focus coming out right now. As such, being able to get an easy, cheap win makes the show you like more look better. It's explicitly using the unfair comparison maliciously, even if not consciously maliciously.
Two: For a lot of extremely valid and good reasons, we analyze how women are written and kind of just ignore writing the male gender. Like when was the last time you saw something, outside of I guess the times I've talked about how TOH is fucking awful at writing guys, analyzing male writing that wasn't just whining about not putting a female lead into the work they want. To make it clear, that's not what this is. Even now, I do have to include that I don't think TOH's writers were being misandrists or the like. No, this comparison explicitly showcases how the show recycled how other shows handle their secondary gender and thus recreated all of its problems. It's not malicious but it is something that happens when you aren't being actually smart about your storytelling .
Three: TOH never really even attempts to pretend like its male characters are anything but jokes. Like... Literally ever. The closest is trauma child Hunter and the point of him is "Look how miserable this fucker is." Otherwise, they rarely come up in plotlines, especially plotlines the fandom remembers, and are the constant butt of jokes. Episode one of TOH has King be mocked for the things he will be mocked for for the entire season and his one moment of real pathos being how childish he is and that being a bit charming. Compare that to episode one of Gravity Falls where even as early as that, the push and pull of priorities between the twins is creating conflict between them but also strength between them. The first time a male character is given ANYTHING like that is Hunter, who shows up in S2 and Hunter is not complex. People want him to be, which is why people talk about JUST Hunter, but in general, he isn't. He's just a worse Amity because he is simplified to just trauma and the need to prove himself and little more.
Quick note: Yes I'm focusing on the guys on the good side but the Collector and Belos are still both examples of toxic masculinity, just, you know, very explicitly and in very awful ways when related to the modern day. Also, neither get much screen time really. They're both absentee villains, leading to stuff like how The Collector is an entirely inconsistent character and Belos doesn't get things like a backstory.
All of this though, the lack of attention, importance, etc. like that creates the fact that... Why would you want to talk about the guys? Why would you consider them to be a similar grouping to the girls in Gravity Falls? It is genuinely a fair blind spot. I mean, who fucking remembers the fact that King has three plus B plots in S1 where the whole premise is "King gets a minion and learns that using people is a bad thing?" Those parts of the show are boring, bland and repetitive so just dump them and move on.
People compare the girls in Gravity Falls to other shows because they care about them. That's WAY better than you can say about the guys in TOH. That doesn't make the comparison fair though so if you really wanna do some proper analysis, maybe think a little broader next time? Otherwise, you might forget to take a whole gender of people seriously, just like both of these shows. See you next tale.
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Small note: Just like how a romance plot for a female character is not inherently a bad idea, neither is one about incompetence and machismo for a male one. It's the stereotypical story for that gender for a reason because boy are we some stupid dumbasses out to prove ourselves.
I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!
I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.
A Twitter you can follow too
And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.
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The point where attack on titan went to shit
When I first watched aot back in 2017 it was an instant love the characters, the story and the world building was amazing and this greatness continued seasons one through three, but then the Marley arc happened… and everything came tumbling downhill it’s like Insayama just said “fuck it” the story was beaten badly thrown in a trash can, lit on fire and kicked down a mountain. Every character I once liked wasn’t ruined they were destroyed (as in literally killed off or their characters ruined) for example Eren: was made a genocidal maniac Mikasa: was always a simp but at least she cared about her friends but she was turned into the worst type of friend a person can have, a fake friend (she let Gabi go after killing Sasha) Armin; I still like Armin a bit but the final chapter decimated his character Jean: Jean was never relevant they launched him into an important role that he wasn’t built for Connie: is the textbook definition of useless (he should’ve been killed instead of Sasha just saying) Sasha: ugh they killed her and used her death as a plot device to propel the rest of the shitty story forward it was disrespectful beyond belief Historia: I love her but they made her a useless pregnant housewife Ymir (freckles): I could get over her death in season two but they just disrespected her on another level because we had to have the dead lesbian trope right? Hange: Was made a traitor and I love Hange but they’re a terrible leader Levi: Levi is fine but WHERE TF DID HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH GABI AND FALCO COME FROM????
Now I don’t even have to explain why the fucking Marley characters all suck except Zeke. I love the characters of aot still and I love writing about them but Insayama fucked the perfect story he had into an oblivion
#sasha braus#aot#attack on titan#Insayama#Mikasa#Eren#Zeke#Hange#Jean#unpopular opinion#Snk#Connie#levi ackerman
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About the Adrienette relationship and how Adrien became the therapist trophy bf… idk if I can explain my thoughts right, but I feel like this is the result of a bigger issue with where the writer’s priorities lie regarding Adrien‘s obstacles?
Adrien‘s issues with his family are kind of not that important, or at least don’t affect him that much. When Gabriel does something shitty like not letting Adrien leave the house, it either gets resolved by the end of the episode or it‘s forgotten about. Gabriel‘s abuse feels to me more like a plot device to remove Adrien from the plot until the akuma shows up than a serious issue that affects Adrien mental being and needs to be resolved with therapy and Gabriel loosing custody over him. Adrien almost never talks bad about his dad, it‘s always „oh he‘s just overprotective of me“ or something. It’s like Adrien doesn’t recognize how crappy Gabe is, which does make sense for an abuse victim, but I don’t feel like the show frames this opinion as wrong.
Meanwhile in his relationship with LB, he takes everything super personal. He acts mean and entitled when she rejects his advances (even though he comes around in the end… only to try again a few episodes later) and he gets very angsty about LB… having more than one superhero friend. I know I sound dismissive, mostly because I though the whole arc sucked, but I do understand that it happened because Adrichat has abandonment issues. It makes sense why he feels that way. And he goes off to her in the s4 finale. So suddenly he can realize when he‘s treated badly in a relationship and talk about it? It‘s not like Lb treated him worse than Gabe, not even close!!
Adrien‘s main source of problems is his relationship with Maribug. This gets resolved in s4 on the Ladynoir side, and then in s5 Adriens biggest goal is resolving the Adrienette side, aka getting with a traumatized Marinette, aka the whole point of the show and probably the writer‘s only true priority. And when Adrien actually has a problem with his dad, it‘s only in the context of Gabe trying to sabotage the relationship, because who cares that he‘s an abusive asshole regardless of Adrien‘s relationship status? We need to save the relationship you guys!!
I guess what I‘m trying to say is that Adrien is the therapist in the relationship because (according to the writers), he doesn‘t really have problems. His only problems are when things are obstacles to his relationship with Marinette, which are her trauma and in the second half of s5 Gabriel being a dick to Mari. Other than that? Nathalie dying was a little important for like two minues, Emilie doesn‘t get brought up by Adrien in s5 at all, Gabriel dying and Adrien literally becoming an orphan is cool. None of these things have any influence on Adrienette, so they don‘t bother him and he doesn‘t need to talk to anyone about it or get therapy.
Love conquers all !!
So, confession time: I often tone Gabriel's abuse down when I write him specifically because of a lot of what you brought up (there's also the fact that it makes for a more compelling story if Gabriel's behavior is actually driven by grief and not just how he's always been, but let's not get into that). I've always considered it glaringly obvious that the writer's never meant for Gabriel to come across anywhere near as controlling and abusive as he's actually written. It really is just a plot device even though there are episodes that would have played far better if Gabriel had been less controlling.
For example, Glaciator would have been a far stronger episode if Adrien chose to not go see his friends in order to wait around for Ladybug because then he'd be super clearly in the wrong for flaking on a commitment and the lesson could be "don't put romance above your friends."
As-is, I have no idea what the moral of that episode is supposed to be because Maribug did nothing wrong outside of being a little rude to the ice cream guy, but Chat Noir also isn't really in the wrong because he was banned from going out as Adrien. There's a solid argument to be made for not wanting to risk punishment by going to a very public location with his friends. In episodes like this, it really felt like Gabriel's controlling, unreasonable nature wasn't being used to develop his character, but as a way to absolve Adrien of blame.
Along similar lines, the Adrigami plot in season five feels less like a thing that was included to make Gabriel feel evil and more like the writers desperately padding things out because Gabriel actually does very little to keep Adrien and Marinette apart. He could have pulled Adrien from school! He could have demanded Nathalie give back Adrien's ring so that his commands stuck! He could have interrupted the video game date and banned Marinette from the house. But he does none of that because he's not actually being controlling as a character thing. He's doing it so that the writers can add cheap drama to the Adrienette plot.
The clearest evidence of this is the wacky season five ending. That's not an ending you give to a person you consider abusive and evil beyond all hope of redemption even though that's arguably who Gabriel was by the end of season five. The writers are either ignorant to just how abusive he actually was or they know that he got pretty bad as the seasons went on, but they didn't want to change their planned ending so we got the ending they wrote when the show had less seasons and they'd done less to make Gabriel abusive.
It's just another case of that inconsistent characterization problem I've discussed before. By letting Gabriel be whatever they needed him to be for a given plot idea to work, they created a monster and made Adrien into a victim, but that's pretty clearly not the dynamic they actually wanted to write, so it all comes across as strange, wacky, and insensitive.
This is getting long, but I'll end by noting that I fully agree on the Maribug stuff. The conflicts they give Chat Noir and Ladybug make me super uncomfortable because they tend to center around her being a bad partner for... not reading his mind. Which is a massive personal pet peeve because so many people do this shit (myself included) and it's wildly unhealthy. Not saying she behaved perfectly or that this isn't an understandable flaw to give a character like Chatdrien, but it is a flaw and the show fails to treat it as such. It especially annoys me because it's a terrible conflict to give two people who are trying to keep the world safe. I've mentioned this before, but a big reason why superhero shows aimed at kids tend to develop both the civilian and superhero sides is so that the civilian side can focus on interpersonal conflicts and learn valuable life lessons, many of which will then be applied on the superhero side. Miraculous really needed to use this tool to help Adrien learn to communicate his very valid feelings. It's just bad writing choice after bad writing choice, adding up to a mess of a show no matter how you look at it.
Quick side note: I have nothing against people writing Gabriel as abusive as the show often makes him. I hope I've made it clear that I fully agree with that take, it's just not the take I like to use in my own stuff because it doesn't suit the kind of stories I enjoy telling. I prefer the happy family broken by Emilie's death route that the show pretty clearly wanted, but failed to write.
#Gabriel deserves better#adrien deserves better#marinette deserves better#ml writing critical#ml writing salt
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season 2 predictions:
I feel like I saw way more behind the scenes stuff that I never saw in the actual show, leading me to believe that either A. they already knew they would get a season 2 and filmed it at the same time or B. what was originally filmed was split up, hence why it feels so choppy. BUT probably neither of these things are true I'm just projecting 😩 cuz I still can't wrap my head around this season
I predict season 2 will bring us back to the original plot of Armando and Betty dating on the down-low and sneaking around behind everyone's back and that's how they reignite their relationship, and it's gonna end in another wedding for them.
there's sooooo much to talk about from the last two episodes but I'm too tired to really dive in, I can only think in bullet points lmao:
did I miss something? why did all of a sudden Hugo end the union/strike? that made no sense 😩
how did Mila and them even know about the papero and how to get there.....again did I miss something lol (edit: I forgot they're the original Ecomoda bodegas, but still they were acting like they knew exactly who he was, how lol)
the timeline was so fucked up. so you're telling me they ended the strike, Mila finds out that night about her mom and dads past, the next day Betty goes on the trip to cartagena and they're doing the fashion show at the same time? how did it get done so fast?! no one bothered to ask their president if they could do it, had the funds for it, bothered to ask her to come? HUH????? 💀 showing random shots of sewing and fabric doesn't do shit to show the passage of time 😭😭
the ADR by the beach sucked so bad it looked AI generated lmao. I'd rather have shitty ocean wave audio like in the original lol
Armando's lawyer continues to make no fucking sense as to why she even wants to be with him, it's a useless storyline with no context other than "of course she'd want to be with Armando Mendoza" and just serves as a "see, he's changed he's not hitting on other women" plot device
Betty's lawyer at least got to be cute and have actual interactions with her that help us make sense as to why she'd wanna make out with him 🤪 do yo thang girl
mila and nacho practically living together - huh?????? this novela is HORRIBLE at timelines, sense of time moving, days passing, literally without them saying that we would assume that was their second time sleeping together. bad bad bad.
mila going through the same betrayal as her mom - sorry I rolled my eyes at that one 😭 trying to wrap everything up in a bow having Mila discover the truth by somehow magically guessing his password, finding everything, spilling the beans during the meeting, all in one episode trying to have us connect to her heartbreak, girl we never fucking liked him lmao!!!!!!!! he was always ick as fuck u have horrible judgement 😭
glad her and Betty have essentially mended things but lmfao still have no idea why she was sent off for 5 years like that's not an insignificant time frame, 15 to 20ish is a HUGE stage of life and to have missed that??? like what?? but they depicted Mila so terribly I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop every time there was a "sweet" moment between them because they didn't give me any reason to think she was being genuine, I think that's a huge failing on their part cuz they never showed the love between them only Mila hating her, right to shopping and hanging out, there was a huge disconnect for me.
Mario you were fired, armando "rejected" your firing but what are you even doing here bro
Jeff and his relationship and their drama with Mila is so blah why is it even in this. Mila you suck for kissing him knowing he has a gf wtf? Also her hairstyle at the fashion show was giving Troll doll what did they do to you girl!!!
not letting Betty have a moment with her dad to actually talk about the diary is such a cop out, it could have been a beautiful moment in him confessing that he still failed her after trying so hard to protect her and she married the man that caused her the most pain and she couldve been like yeah it's pretty fucked up it's why I'm getting a divorce, after all that I feel like he still didn't accept us as his family~ or SOMETHING. crumbs, it's all I'm asking.
Ignacio being a sibling instead of a nephew is sooooooooo duuuuuuuumb lmfao literally serves no other purpose than to make people go GASP!!!! no purpose.
I FORGOT TO BRING IT UP BEFORE, WHY DID THEY MAKE BETTY FALL DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS AT ECOMODA LIKE THAT A WHILE AGO LMFAOOAAO WE ALREADY KNOW SHE'S CLUMSY YOU MAKE HER DROP OR CRASH INTO SHIT EVERY EPISODE
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The chances of this being accurate are low, but never zero, so here's my take on how the relationship between Eddie and Marisol could go:
7x05: Eddie and Marisol starting over because they don't know anything about eachother, their relationship based only on sexual interactions (which still baffles me bc what is this version of Eddie???? It's like he was unable to focus on anything else beside how pent up he was because he wasn't getting any????) and don't even get me started on her moving in and out in the span of a few days without involving Chris in any capacity. They could've showed them being unable to share stuff about their personal lives without this whole living together fiasco. What were the writers thinking coming up with this storyline? Truly the most bizarre thing to happen in season 7, next to Marisol being a nun (although if it was a plot device to kick start Eddie's journey with catholic guilt I will allow it).
7x06: I honestly don't think we will see Marisol at all. First of all, the actress hasn't posted anything from set from this time (and we all know she wouldn't pass up the opportunity to show her wedding outfit or another selfie from the trailer with her being the attention seeker that she is). Second of all, there's probably not enough screen time and she's not that important of a character to be included in this whole storyline. Eddie might mention her in passing like he did in 7x04 but I think that's it.
7x07: Now here's when things might get interesting. I want to see them break up, I really do, not only because the actress is shitty but she's basically a nobody this far into the series and I don't see how they could suddenly make us care for her. Tim saying how he didn't know what to do with her tells me enough that she's not sticking around and he's just trying to fix the mess KR left. Let's not forget Tim saying that at least one relationship (bucktommy or eddisol) will have complications. I'll bet my money the couple in question will be Eddie and Marisol. The episode being titled "Ghost of a Second Chance" (which literally means sth has a little chance of succeeding) makes me think we will see Eddie trying to get to know Marisol (but i'm begging, no more sex scenes between them, once is enough, don't do this to us again) and him coming to realization how little he truly likes about her. I would like to see him go "wait, I actually don't want to do this with her, she's not someone who i want to be with". I think it's too soon for him to see how uncomfortable relationships with women make him and why he always feels like "he has to perform" but it would be a pleasant surprise if they did actually dive into it already. I don't know what exactly could trigger him to break up with Marisol (and I think it will be Eddie who puts an end into this relationship based on the ending of the last episode) but it would be nice if we got some kind of parallel to his breakup with Ana and the "I thought it would work". Since Ryan said in one of his interviews that Eddie has enough on his plate this season, I don't think he will have any kind of feelings realization regarding Buck in 7x07, but if this storyline further explores his repression then count me in, I'm getting my snacks and my drinks and I'm seated.
(just watch this being completly wrong when E*y Gan*m posts another selfie in her 911 trailer in a few days)
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i've never seen someone who hates MI3 more than MI2 before
(NOTE: LONG POST, HIT J TO SKIP)
MI3, how do I hate thee? lemme count the ways
The Filming Itself
the cinematography is atrocious. as Punct and I discussed in our DVD commentary track for MI3, I truly feel like JJ Abrams is aware that shaky cam exists, but not the reasons someone would use it, so the camera is shaking even in sequences it absolutely should not be. it feels to me that JJA was like "the more important/intense a scene, the more the camera should move" and like. jfc.
this is like really important because it makes it literally difficult to understand the movie as its unfolding. there's multiple moments when you lose pieces of the action due to the cinematography. two moments immediately come to mind: Zhen falling out of the helicopter and having to climb back in, and the way the camera completely ruins Ethan's base jump escape from the Shanghai building.
SPEAKING OF, there are only two good stunts in this film. one is Ethan breaking the car with his body on the bridge. which is bc that's shot as a fairly steady pull-back with Ethan running directly at camera. the other is the batshit spidercam full tilt sprint at the end of the movie where the camera holds shot for probably the longest period in the entire movie. everything else is wrecked by the shitty camerawork.
POINT IS THAT THE SHALLOWEST APPEAL OF MI MOVIES IS THE STUNTS AND MI3 HAS BY FAR THE WORST STUNTS
also why the fuck is the camera shaking during normal stationary shot-reverse-shot dialogue scenes, JJ. jesus fucking christ. can I please see the actors ACTUALLY ACTING please?
The Script
kay lets move on from my fiery hatred of the camerawork and onto my fiery hatred of this movie's script. I am a non-professional writer and i could run a fucking clinic on this goddamn script.
lets get the most egregious thing out of the way immediately: this movie tries to make you give a shit about The Team and one of the team members is literally never named in dialogue for the entire runtime of the movie. if you miss the five frame intro card for Declan at the start of the movie, you will never learn that character's name for the entire movie. that's such a fucking egregious fuck-up I almost think I can just say that and it explains The Problem With MI3
BUT THAT'S BORING SO LETS GO ON
I have seen many many people say that their favorite villain in MI is Owen Davian. that's.... fine. but is that because he's just suuuuuch a compelling character, or because Phillip Seymour Hoffman showed up and decided "I'm going to play this guy like an investment banker who went postal one day" and he's PSH and was one of the most naturally charismatic men to live?
IMO they had to get PSH bc on paper, Davian is just the most non-entity of the MI villains. there is no motivation outside of Being The Bad Guy, there's no backstory, there's a void of a character. even Hendricks from GP has all of those things and he's a villain as plot device.
also why the sweet fuck did he kill his translator. lets set aside the incredible Yikes element of covering an asian woman's face with a white woman's because Yikes but also why the fuck was she being "punished"?
WHICH SEGUES NICELY INTO PLOT CONTRIVANCE BITCHING. this movie is held together with contrivances. the grandest example is the We have to put Ethan in an unsexy bondage mask for this interrogation bc if he could speak in this scene, the movie would fall apart but the entire plot hinges on a moment when the Actual Bad Guy Musgrave literally fucking says
"Did Lindsey figure out I was the bad guy? Did she figure out all these things I did which I will now list for you? Did you the audience she figure that out? No you didn't which is why I am explaining it explicitly to camera." THIS IS. I JUST. FLAMES ON THE SIDES OF MY FACE!!!!!! I find it hilarious how GP presents the exact kind of Excuse Plot but actually does it pitch-perfectly, because it had Chris McQuarrie to actually write it.
The Entire Rabbit's Foot thing. Speaking of McQ, he had a quote that basically cemented my lust for his brain and my desire to absorb his power. fuck it here's the full quote:
"Respectfully, I’m not a mystery box guy. I don’t believe in that kind of storytelling, I feel that that leads to — I understand that it makes for very compelling narrative drive, but it brings you to the end of the movie and it inspires the three great words of cinema, which are: “And? So? OK?” And if you hear any one of those three things, it’s time to go back to the drawing board. I believe that a mystery is only as good as its reveal.”
now this was about Ghost Protocol, not intended as a criticism of MI3 but it sums up the entire problem with the Rabbit's Foot. like, it's a mystery box with nothing in it because... the contents don't matter. in the climax of the movie, you see the Rabbit's Foot and it looooooks like it miiiight be a bioweapon? but it doesn't matter. so the fact that it's VERY LOUDLY a mystery literally has no purpose and never pays off. so to quote McQ again: And? So? Ok?
Oh and that's all just my anger at the Plot Writing of MI3. that doesn't even touch on the character writing.
Character Fuckery
We've already touched on Owen Davian being a void of motivation and on the fact THEY DIDN'T GIVE US THE NAME OF ONE OF THE CORE TEAM MEMBERS lets get into the rest of it
"And did you ever.... sleep with your sister" is the worst line in a Mission Impossible movie and you made Ving fucking Rhames say it. I'm a rehabilitationist but I will make an exception for once if we can send the person who wrote that line to prison forever.
To be honest this entire movie does Luther so fucking dirty it's astonishing. He's here to artificially create conflict. I honestly find it annoying that his Defining Character Trait in MI1 and the thing that drew Ethan to him was his scruples regarding endangering people, and he has like. nothing to say about giving Davian the rabbit's foot. Okay.
THE CRIMINAL WASTE OF SIMON PEGG. Benji gets two scenes in this movie and the second one is.... frankly maybe the singular good bit of fun, engaging character interaction in the whole movie, but to get there you have to weather the Antigod Speech which. I can barely think about with IRL cringing, like my body just has an allergic reaction to the idea. it doesn't help that he's used as the mouthpiece for the Mystery Box of the movie, and we've already established its an empty box that doesn't matter.
(what I find hilarious is that Pegg is an extremely good character writer and I would bet every dollar in my measly bank account that he could have improvised a better version of that speech. god i hate it.)
Ethan and Julia. IMO Cruise and Monaghan carried this movie on their fucking backs and without them putting in the WORK with zero material, this movie would be incomprehensibly worst. Cruise and Monaghan, thank you for your service.
Punct always points out when we watch MI3 that there is a batshit moment in the climax where Julia is strapped to a chair and the camera keeps cutting to her like she's planning something to turn the tables or something but it. never happens? it's egregious and weird how the movie treats her.
actually even as much as I love Monaghan's work here and I'm the kindest to Julia, I feel like the movie doesn't respect her as much as I do. (Punct joked that JJ Abrams doesn't respect women as much as Ethan Hunt does and its hilarious and true.) but the movie keeps being Weird about Julia and putting her in tiddy-licious nighties and gives Ethan a very weird sexy dream sequence about her? and the Mission Impossible that I know and love would have objectified Ethan just as much as her, thank you very much.
Ethan and that goddamn assault rifle.
Actually I want this in its own section
Ethan uses an assault rifle at least twice to my off-the-dome recollection. Luther uses MULTIPLE REMOTE-OPERATED MACHINE GUNS to mow down a factory building. There is a massive shootout on a bridge with a JET FLYING AROUND FIRING MISSILES. Ethan DANGLES A MAN OUT OF A FUCKING PLANE.
In MI1, Ethan Hunt never fires a single shot and only holds a gun on someone once to my memory. Even in MI2, the Stupid One, Ethan is armed but only really gets into one shootout and does a lot of kicking people in slowmotion, which is silly, but My point is that MI3 feels like a Call of Duty campaign with its body count and the way it reframes Ethan's job away from Honeytrap and Spy to Generic Soldier.
and it's fucking boring. all of Ethan's guile moments are clawed out of the morass of him just shooting people, and its devastatingly boring. paired with the REMOTE-OPERATED MACHINE GUNS and the new portrayal of the IMF in MI3, it just feels like.... Ethan is one of the baddies actually? the ppl who show up with three van-mounted machine guns are not the good guys, lmao.
I don't have time to go into the visual design of this movie and how the most interesting locations are so poorly lit you can't fucking see them but we need to talk about the IMF Itself in this movie
I actually have already written my thoughts about the evolution of the IMF through the series and I'm in passionate desperate love with what that evolution signals thematically
B U T the IMF in MI3 is just a fucking crime procedural lab. there is a War Room, there's Meeting Rooms, and when stuff breaks we have The Room Where The Nerds Live. it's just CSI/NCIS/name a stupid show. which fits because IIRC this is JJA's first or one of the first films, and he's a TV man by trade. but by carrying that Weekly Procedural philosophy into MI, it reduces the texture of MI.
the montage of Ethan training Lindsey is the most unintentionally hilarious scene in the movie.
/takes a deep breath
.... is that everything?
NO WAIT I WANT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE VATICAN INFILTRATION. they put in a lot of work and its easily the most boring infiltration in cinema history. there is no tension, no fun, no improv.
ETHAN HUNT WAS LITERALLY IN A CATHOLIC PRIEST COSTUME COMPLETE WITH THE COLLAR AND THERE IS NOT A SINGLE LINE OF DIALOGUE ABOUT IT. THERE ARE NO JOKES. NOTHING. if this was any of the other MI movies, this would be an opening for some banter and jokes, but THEY FORGOT TO PUT THE ENGAGING TEAM DYNAMICS INTO THE FUCKING MOVIE ARRRRKSJFLSKDJHFKSD
that moment when you can kinda see Maggie Q's vag. wh. what was that.
here's the good parts of MI3
it gave us Julia, and she's still great when she returns in Fallout. even with an actively bad script, she brings gravity and grace to a movie that needs it.
Luther calls Ethan "baby" and it's great and its Luther's only good moment in the fucking movie
Ethan Hunt is at his most autistic in this movie and I love it
Ethan and Benji's second scene actually has patter and character moments and chemistry. that one scene has more character than any other in the entire movie and that's sad but also thank god.
the scene where Ethan is preparing to kill himself and is explaining to Julia how to reload the gun "just like the flashlight in the kitchen" is actually a pristine moment. i wish the camera didn't focus as much on Julia's tits while she's doing CPR but listen. i'll take it.
Ethan blocking communications in the IMF by putting the walkietalkie by the radio is very funny.
Tom Cruise really actually broke the windshield of that car with the impact of his body, goddamn.
jfc I need an Exorcism right now, I might go watch MI1 again just to cleanse
AT LEAST MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 2 KNEW WHAT IT WANTED TO BE AND EXECUTED ON THAT. In this house we may not like MI2 but we respect it.
I will fistfight JJ Abrams on sight.
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Good day, hope you’re doing good and well. Can you please write headcanons for Dino from KHR thank you 💕
Hello! I am doing quite okay ahaha, I fell ill right at the beginning of the year and that actually explains my return to writing just a bit bc I had 0 energy for anything else. I just sat and wondered about the nation's husband here for a bit, so apologies if some of these are kind of a stretch!
♡ Misc. Dino Cavallone Headcanons ✧
He went from having a fear of horses to becoming a horse girl. I like to imagine that his parents may have had an interest in riding (or that the Cavallone family literally fixes horse races for shady $$), so there would be these huuge beautiful top of the line horses at their personal stable.. however, he was absolutely terrified of them and was too afraid to look them in the eye, much less ride one, until Reborn forced him to face his fear; He's fallen on his ass and been kicked in the face more times than he can count, but as he slowly learned that horses were just big skittish animals that needed to be treated with love and respect, he began to love riding and working with horses and down the line earned the nickname "Bucking Horse/Bronco".
Dino loved the Barbie movie, he is extremely Alancoded. And his all-out cowboy barbie outfit (lowkey Reborn made him do it) drew too much attention at the theatre, to the point that some kids were calling him Ken and asking for photos. He ✨served💅 the public that day.
I refuse to believe that Dino was an only child and he turned out so well?!? He's extremely older-brother coded, I would bet my life that he has at least one younger sister or half-sister (though arguably Tsuna is his non-blood brother) that he just doted on until idk she prob kaboomed and wasn't used as a plot device
He's a tall man, has type O blood, he should be donating it because he's such a good person, right? He did once! He passed out and is a little nervous about going back again.. to think that he has a whole tattoo sleeve..
Some of his tattoos are actually coverups!? He never planned to get a full sleeve, but needed to cover up some shitty flash he got in his younger days. He decided to get something bolder and flashier to cover it, but then the rest of his arm being bare just bothered him.. so he added elements until uh oh, it's a full sleeve that goes all the way to the back of his hand. Despite being a pretty boy his entire life, he seems like the type to have had some img issues and regrets with his initial tattoos (he got them just bc he thought it would make him cool and tough), covered them up and felt like he looked too shady.. and then learned to love them and embrace them as art. He likes the asymmetry of how heavily inked one side of him is, and is considering a big ankle/calf/thigh and maybe a hip piece on the opposite side leg to balance it out, but he's a bit nervous about the pain (I giggle). Omg what if the skull and flame neck tatt is matching with some of his men (theirs are in different spots) after a particularly drinks-heavy party night*.
Sometime between the "present time" of the KHR timeline and TYL, he adopted a shorter haircut and learned how to style it from Reborn! They got more time to reconnect as Reborn became less busy with shaping Tsuna into the "perfect mafia boss" or whatever and began to lengthen the kite string gradually.
Dino is a total softie at heart, and has moments where he cut people slack that other mafioso, especially older bosses, would not have. His men love him because he is strong and they know his heart is right, but whatever softness he had in his early 20's he had to shake off real hard as time went on.
Because of all the mental and physical work it takes for him to do his job, sometimes he wants nothing more than to be babygirled for once, and literally nobody knows but just maybe Romario has an inkling.. the sense that it may be the case.
fin.✧
*smart ppl don't get inked under the influence, don't even drink before or after you get tatted ok lolol stay safe out there
#khr#hitman reborn#khr headcanons#katekyo hitman reborn#hitman reborn headcanons#hitman reborn imagines#dino cavallone#dino khr
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One undertheorised aspect of Elisabeth [yes I'm approaching the show like a research field] is that of the POV in Mayerling. Setting aside/ignoring my favourite interpretation (ie. Lucheni's POV colours every scene from beginning to end), I started thinking: could it be we're seeing it through Elisabeth's eyes?
The first time Elisabeth acknowledges the mirror imagery (which is built between her and Rudolf in the Vienna-based productions) is literally right after his death - "you were like me, you needed me / I left you on your own to free myself -- / The fault is mine". She seems to see "the truth" (what the show has constructed for us to see from the start - Elisabeth's emancipation and Rudolf's isolation) and blames herself for it. And that "truth", as it is represented in the show, includes (personified) Death.
But is it really "the truth", or is it what Elisabeth has come up with in her long solitary hours despairing in the crypt? Has she, while mourning him, just begun to think back on everything she knows about Rudolf and reinterpreted his life as a nightmare similar to her own - looking to Death for guidance and comfort and yet suffering as a result? Maybe Elisabeth isn't just observing; she's interpreting and creating (the narrative) before our eyes. What we see happen to Rudolf before that point is her hindsight. And ok the implications are kind of horrifying especially for Schatten reprises where Tod really goes at it physically, like, her imagining Rudolf suffering like that - like she has with depression as well, in DLT and WITW - over and over (in Mayerling too) and not being able to stop it because he's already dead.
Granted, there are some things that make this less likely: ie. the overall strength of the Lucheni interpretation (I think it's the canon one honestly, there's too much evidence to ignore) as well as the historical fact that Elisabeth remained mostly ignorant of Rudolf's political writings and aspirations even after his death, but it's still interesting to think about.
In any case I don't think Rudolf is in control of his own narrative like traditional fictional characters are - and why should he be, he's a minor character in a show using storybook/circus/etc aesthetics as an artistic device. He's in control of his actions within that narrative (ie. Elisabeth saying his death is her fault is not really true), but he's really a plot device. And therefore:
1)conspiracy bad XDD
2) Mirror imagery good, hence removing the mayerling kiss horribly bad
3) what if Elisabeth made up Mama, schatten reprise and Mayerling after the fact, while despairing and overthinking what she could've done differently during Totenklage (out of all the candidates for "narrator"/POV character, Rudolf is just about the unlikeliest person in the show - he's only born halfway in and dies before it ends)
Fourth point under the cut for whining XD Might delete that part later
4) i keep saying this ad nauseam but we do not really need more/expanded mayerling (or rudolf immorality) stuff in the show ahsjfkggkkf. I get that in terms of history and the public sphere, we need justice and spotlight for Mary, but the show is about the death of liberal politics through Rudolf and it's already unclear to some people so we don't need to make it more confusing for them. Based on the level of reading comprehension online re my favourite shows I don't trust people to understand the symbolic death of liberal Europe in the face of Hass AND the rudolf-elisabeth mirror imagery AND Rudolf as a historical person being complicated and shitty. The last one can be brought into it through acting I think, but we don't need to change the staging to be heavier on the historical Mayerling stuff. You can criticise the portrayal, you can think Elisabeth does a bad job of portraying Rudolf and normalizes abuse or murder or something, but you can't really change how it's depicted without wrecking the architecture of the show. Rudolf literally has no canon personality beyond "sad" [being gay for death is part of this] and "struggling politically"
I promise i'm not sexist and horrible btw akjsjdjdfkgkg. But like legit. Rudolf already comes as a matching set with the mayerling affair in the public sphere. Elisabeth is like the only thing where his political legacy (or lack thereof) is of equal importance, and the portrayal is generally sympathetic. I'm not saying we can't do more rudolf media that addresses it with more complexity, but Elisabeth is not the time or place - especially since if we did include more of the Mary stuff (as a staging choice, since the script is set), it would almost certainly fail to do anything meaningful in terms of her historical legacy, given that she wouldn't be named (can't stop the mayerling sequence to give a spoken rundown of events...), and her life and personality beyond the circumstances of her death would once again be overshadowed by her ending up in Mayerling
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Warning:long yap session of me slandering and bashing on this fuck ass comic(ik its not rlly total drama island related but oh well)
Total trauma is absolute fucking dogshit like WHY DOES THIS SHIT HAVE ITS OWN FANDOM??? like- one time i told wyatt prin's webcomic was crap and a fan glazed prin and said it was awesome(top ten biggest lies in history) and then wyatt blocked me like WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THIS IS WELL WRITTEN???? also not to mention wyatt is a fucking weirdo bc apparently pri had a(now deactivated)DA account called "heathersuoh"and prin commissioned a bunch of heatherra NSFW despite them being minors and ive never seen prin addressed this and im now assuming pri is hiding prins past bc there was a post calling prin out and wyatt probably deleted it bc pri probably found that post and
also overall i hated the comic and i hope wyatt's downfall finally happens(ik that there was a blog called exposingtotaldrama but like some info was kinda outdated and stuff)
Overall worst thing to ever come out of this cursed fandom and the worst thing in the comic was courtney and that red haired girl's relationship. WHY DID THEY STILL PORTRAY IT AS HEALTHY THIS IS THE REASON WHY I STOLE WYATT'S OCS yea and also i rewrote cecily bc i hate how fucking dogshit her character was bc its SUPER obvious that she was created for courtney to take advantage of and overall a shitty plot device.
and i think the comic is so fucking confusing lime WHY DOES IT HAVE 10 THOUSAND SUB PLOTS LIKE WHAT IS GOING ON like i think it wouldve been less confusing if prin made it have like seperate blogs and it would have links to the plots and then make it like an anthology??? Idk how to describe it but thats just my opinion
i think its weird that prin is making books of this like it feels illegal considering that most of the art is literally traced which is technically plagiarism and esp the fact that fresh tv can get very particular with what fans do like cease and desist when/nsrs
The only thing i sorta liked in the comic was paula, sam being transfem bc that headcanon is goated, the fact that harold and leshawna's characters werent butchered and...thats it. And the other stuff you obviously know i hate it like this webcomic literally screams "they would not fucking say that"
i hate how obsessed i am with this webcomic. Its all i think about. I hope i stop being obsessed with it. Man i hate having hyperfixhatreds I CANT EVEN SEE THE WORD TRAUMA AND NOT THINK ABOUT THIS CRAPPY WEBCOMIC.
also btw i dont care if a person is a fan of this webcomic as long as they arent fucking annoying and are aware that wyatt is weird and doesnt support prin
-the galloping gecko anon(totally not inotpurplegirl016)
The Cecily/Courtney total trauma ship was absolutely not portrayed as healthy. I’m genuinely not sure what to say to you if that’s what you gleaned from total trauma.
I’m not playing devil’s advocate for TT because I don’t enjoy it and it DOES have legitimate and very serious problems but that’s not one of them. This reminds me of when i used to get asks trashing total trauma because “sierra cheated on cody” and that’s bad rep for aspec people. Which is absolutely NOT a thing that happens in the comic. If you want to criticize something, please at least make sure you understand the details of the content you’re criticizing.
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LO RANT:
This will be small hopefully but I really do think it’s shitty that Rachel literally used all of these serious topics that affect real people as nothing more but plot devices for her characters so she can get more chemistry out of them.
How is Hades supposed to be good representation for male DV survivors when we never get to see his thoughts or feelings of his abusive relationship with Minthe after she slapped him? Literally as soon as that traumatic thing happened to him he never even thought about Minthe once, he was with Persephone and it was as if nothing ever happened. There was no exploration being done or nothing meaningful coming out of that whole interaction so now it just looks disingenuous on Rachel’s part. It doesn’t feel like she added that element to Minthe and Hades’ relationship because she genuinely wanted male survivors to be represented and it surely doesn’t feel like she did that to spread awareness about it either, no one ever talks about Hades’ trauma and even the past events that the comic showed us did not even mention Minthe’s abusive tendencies. Hades is given no room to actually reflect on what happened to him because he’s thrown into the arms of Persephone just to be a prop in order to prove that she’s the better woman.
The same thing happens with Persephone’s trauma as well, I don’t think I need to explain why it’s so incredibly weird to me that Persephone is so willing to confide in a man she’s known for a few days to a week at most besides her actual “friends”. She has no other support systems besides Hades and Hades is always there for her despite Persephone having other beings willing to support her the exact same way. Whenever Persephone is with Hades, no matter how recently she was traumatized she’s willing to be completely alone with him in the most vulnerable position ever which is in her room on the exact same bed sleeping next to Hades. And again, it looks disingenuous on Rachel’s part to have Persephone’s trauma AND healing process to be placed on the back burner in order to facilitate her romance with Hades, I cannot explain to you how messed up that is. Not only that but she immediately called Hades when she’s uncomfortable, no one else not even her longer friends. Persephone’s trauma literally disappears when she’s around Hades because this kind of stuff would most definitely affect their relationship and cause either conflict or distance between them but since Rachel obviously hates that she goes on the route of making these two recently traumatized characters “instantly bond” with one another despite not having any time to actually heal.
Among the many other serious topics that she literally only put inside of the comic for either convenience or drama and clearly had no genuine message that she wanted to share with having stuff like that placed in her comic I just think it’s pretty shitty. Listen, I know I don’t know who Rachel is personally but she’s older than me and even I know that things like this should not be flung into stories because at the end of the day Lore Olympus is really popular and many people praise it so these very real issues being written so poorly and everyone eating it up as if everything is completely accurate is harmful. Rachel needs to listen to the other side of the stories of the survivors that she claims to represent in her story, not just the ones who are okay with the writing.
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