#she tried to save me
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I am trapped I am stuck I am a product of desperation fear tragedy and love out of obligation . I am programmed to be an obedient African daughter, yet no one protected me from monsters Just bc they came from same country village area immigrant blah blah. Mother blames me for everything she’s just starting to say it a loud. She really blames herself but the guilt is big enough to gas light me into submission and beat her self up about it.
#the product of two people who do not love each other#is a severe childhood ptsd trauma only child single parent household suicida ideating since 11 loser adult child#no friends no family no one but a obident program daughter#mother gave me my confidence and crushed it in adulthood bc of her own failings#while I worked out my own#except I didn’t have the luxury of doing it out of her sight#ahh if my demons win it’s not her fault#it’s not even my deadbeat dad and her horrible husbands fault#it’s their own families#it’s their cultures fault#it’s their own country’s fault#it’s their home country and diaspora communities fault#I hate that they birthed me I hate more I’m to pussy to do anything abt it bc of weak mental shit#yes mom it is surprising I’m so weak bc you are my mom but remember who you procreated with#blame yourself for not putting a clothes hanger through to me as a fetus#rip aborted siblings#she saved y’all#she tried to save me#but genetics paternal dna innit#oh and maternal family if I could make y’all go boom I would know that#not a dime not a phone call not a hello on gods street#no older sibling to Shield me to protect me hshshshjkk#I can’t believe I grew up to be a statistic#lol sorry god sorry mom#sorry on my tomvtstone
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Have some fluffy, cookie baking, flower covered, domestic agathario bc the holiday season is almost upon us 🌚
#agatha harkness x rio vidal#agatha harkness#agatha x rio fanart#agatha x rio#rio x agatha fanart#rio vidal x agatha harkness#rio x agatha#rio vidal#agathario fanart#agathario#Agatha all along#Agatha all along fanart#aaa#aaa fanart#mcu#mcu fanart#wlw#art#wlw art#SAVE ME DOMESTIC AGATHARIO SAVE ME#yea Rio is wearing a naughty nice I tried shirt#Agatha would not wear a Christmas shirt so she was forced into a Santa hat
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are. are you telling me that if the romanced mage warden dies and alistair is king, he deadass stares greagoir down over her dead body and grants the circle of ferelden its autonomy after ordering it rebuilt somewhere safer. first you have to deliberately leave him behind so he won't die for you and then he does that for you once you're gone, even when you're broken up??? absolute and literal king behaviour of the highest order????? the actions speak louder than words of it all??????? I think I hauve covid
#that's the hottest thing I've ever heard I feel nuts#what an absolute chad alistair continues to be tbh there may be a day when men fail but it will not be when he's here#like I'm very sorry to the blond chantry boy repeat crowd but cullen could & would NEVER!!! they are NOT the same!!!!#dragon age#dragon age origins#alistair theirin#alistair x warden#can u imagine what it must be like to be irving standing there watching this happen. you're free and your kid is dead. congrats#tried to free her from the circle and she's the sacrificial lamb that bought the circle's freedom instead. fuck dude#it does make for a very sad kind of symmetry that every time irving tries to get clever with it he triggers a monkey's paw situation fhdskj#I am replaying the game with my new canon (mistress amell + king alistair to save him from the da:i fade choice lol)#and in doing research I found out about this and had my world rocked. I've never had my warden die before so this is new to me#(my warden isn't dying in this canon to be clear she's going to be the reason no one would dare assassinate king alistair lol#nightmare bae eminance gris behind the throne/loving and supportive partner with a fade connection and a vengeful side#she's going to be like sam vimes tiredly fending off assassins as the watch books go on except she murders a lot more people back)#the way his voice breaks in the version where they were broken up tho... sick and twisted and mean to me specifically
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Don't Wormy About Me.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#yu ziyuan#Please allow me to make it clear how important I think the hug between YZY and JC is in regards to several aspects of their characters#For one - it is the resolution and reveal that behind all the harsh words and bitterness...She really did love her son.#A hug is a soft gesture that you would never expect from someone like YZY and the fact she shows JC this affection now -#-Tells us how she knows that this upcoming battle is a death sentence for her.#Her giving away Zidan is honestly overkill but another sign of her truly showing him how she loves him and wants him to survive.#The dread of knowing she's walking back to a fight without zidian and trying to keep up brave face one last time...chilling.#Zidian represents legacy and promises. And this is going to both save and destroy Jiang Cheng as he carries this weight alone.#Heartbreaking stuff! Didn't draw it in the comic because I wanted to draw a silly worm on a string!#WWX tried to help JC out of the knot but got stuck in it.#Those worm on a string tricks are harder than they look!#Also; it's been about a year since the last boat joke - but indeed this is the 11th boat of pd-mdzs. No need to do the math.
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what gives
#ninjago#jaya#nya jiang#ninjago jaya#nya ninjago#jay walker#jay ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#lmao#after all this time shes still into bad boys#he will not be seeing the light of day#props if u can read the text in nyas thought bubble#it’s like 2am oops#jaya enjoyers follow me#dont question what the hands r doing ok i tried making them do the fist hold thing but ergh#and jay has eyebags from work#suit jay save me save me suit jay#aphid artisms
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i've been thinking about that scene in ep 3 when annabeth apologizes to percy before pushing him into the lake. and on the surface, it seems like she's apologizing in advance for her actions. but what if she's actually expressing sympathy toward percy for how his life will change once his father claims him? once he has to suffer through the same torment as thalia did? once he becomes the outcast amongst the group of demigods who understand his struggles but will do little to help him through it?
#what annabeth said: i'm sorry.#what annabeth meant:#“i'm sorry for forcing you into this situation but you can't run from destiny”#“believe me when i say I've tried”#“believe me when i say that someday you'll have to single-handedly save the world”#“and us demigods may not be standing next to you when it comes time”#“well i definitely will be there”#“but i won't make it easy for you seaweed brain”#“now get up and fight hero”#pjo#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo text post#pjo headcanon#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percabeth#percabeth headcanon#percabeth agnst#she knows and i know she knows
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I rewatched Zuko and Azula's Agni Kai recently and it's left me wondering – when Zuko begins to goad Azula into striking him with lightning, was he making the decision to kill her?
Because had Azula shot lightning directly at him like he planned and not at Katara, the most forthright implication to me is that he was intending to strike Azula with her own lightning. And Azula, for all her mastery, would not have been able to counter that.
On the other hand, maybe he wasn't planning to kill her at all and was simply planning to redirect it elsewhere (similar to what he did with Ozai). But given the tone of tragedy throughout the Agni Kai, the fact that they both acknowledge that this fight will be "the end" to them, I don't think it's inaccurate to read Zuko's actions as him preparing to kill Azula, even though an Agni Kai doesn't have to end with death (and in canon it didn't). Also, why goad her into striking him with lightning if he wasn't planning on doing something intentional with it? If anything, it adds another layer to the tragedy to me, because I don't believe Zuko wants to kill her. And it stands in such contrast to the way that Azula desperately wants to kill him.
I also think that there would have even been something sadly poetic in that sort of demise for Azula should the Agni Kai had gone this direction: Azula, struck down by her preferred sub-skill. Azula, struck down by the very bolt of lightning that she intended to kill her brother with. Azula, struck down by her own power.
#I'm just so curious to Zuko's state of mind during this Agni Kai#maybe I'm slow on the uptake and everyone's gonna be like: obviously he was trying to kill her#but it just... never occurred to me#Like I knew he brought up lightning redirection as an intentional goad?#but I never really thought about what his planned outcome was given how the fight ends up panning out#Also Zuko's perspective when it comes to killing is interesting to me#because morally he's not against it!!#He thinks Ozai should die#And tells Ozai that the reason that he's not going to kill him (during the eclipse) is because of optics/politics (its the avatar's duty)#he thinks that had Katara killed her mother's killer it would have been a form of justice#(or maybe he was just referring to the act of her confronting him idk that whole convo is very ambiguous at times lol)#and yet AND YET he still reached out to save Zhao in season 1 despite Zhao having tried to kill him#he seems shocked (unsettled?) by the idea that Azula might die when she's falling from the airship and that's what?#days? a few weeks before the Agni Kai?#(and sure that reaction could just be shock that she would die so... randomly? but still)#Its just so fascinating#and so tragic#atla#zuko
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so i finished whitepine
#whitepine#whitepine fanart#whitepine ivory#ivorycello#ivorycello fanart#ivorycello whitepine#ivorytv#mcyt#mcyt fanart#im going to be so honest ive been holding whitepine off since i first saw the first episode in my feed#because i am So deathly afraid of getting attached to new medias#ur telling me i cld have been here 2 months earlier... sighs#Oh well!!!! I still love the story anyway :3#my wifi was tweaking when i tried saving this bro theres some unexplainable force stopping me 😭😭😭#whitepine clownpierce next.. maybe..#i Love. I love this girl so mcuh. You fuys dont udnerstand shes like Me.#this users a phighting artist. they said Oh im sure
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It was the weight of guilt that sent Icarus crashing down a second time; he wondered if he was always destined to be punished for loving something brighter than himself, even in death.
#mhmmmmmm ANGST#this was an overly ambitious piece…but in the spirit of icarus at least i tried B)#words are mine haha B)#inspired by all the juicy depressing tidbits we can glean from their dialogue#exhibit A: I always messed everything up…I just want to be useful to someone for once!#UM…BABY?!?!?#and don’t….dont even get me started on how mel and him run parallel to one another when it comes to feeling inadequate#like…she doesnt see how He sees her and vice versa..#god anyways ill save that for a whole crazy analysis post#hades 2#hades game#hades supergiant#hades fanart#melinoe hades#icarus hades#waxwitch
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animorphs was like yeah what if you (child soldier) promised your best friend (also a child soldier) that you would save him, and that you would kill him before letting the body-snatching parasites take him. what if you realized that you can't ever do both. you can't save him without the yeerks. you can't kill him because if he dies everyone you've ever known dies.
what if you literally have to cut him open while he screams and pleads for you to stop and kill him. he hates you for saving him. he hates himself for hating you. you hate yourself for doing it, and you hate him for making you choose. all you can do is wash the blood off and go eat dinner with your family. you will wonder if what you did was worth it for the rest of your life.
#cassie sort of wants to die and also wants to be saved and also wants to save someone and wants there to be a right answer so badly#she bounces between ruthlessly killing people and ruthlessly saving people as she tries to find a middle ground#cassie loses just as much of her old self as jake and rachel don't tell me she doesn't#cassie animorphs#ax animorphs#animorphs#cw gore#book 29 the sickness
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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.
now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.
He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.
(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)
The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.
The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.
And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.
(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)
The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.
anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)
#mxtx svsss#svsss au#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#svsss#*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival#and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst#he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna#see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i#*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM#i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways#so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt#revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about#demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he#couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss#this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on#his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]
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yeah yeah, jason todd’s dip in the ecto-lazarus pit changed something in him irrevocably, enough that he feels a resonance with fellow living-dead danny we’ve all been there
but you know who else has been killed and was revived by the lazarus pit? another member of the batfamily, a fellow hero, world class fighter, stubbornly believes in second chances and redemption? cassandra motherfuckin’ cain
#WRITE HER IN YOU COWARDS!!!!#dpxdc#dcxdp#cassandra cain#danny fenton#shes SO cool shes SO interesting. she holds herself to impossible standards she was killed by her brother whom she tried to save#shes ruthless and relentless and she projects onto every killer she sees hyperempathetic#and the whole fight that kills her shes like LET ME HELP YOU PLEASE#please read batgirl (2000) if you guys like fucked up resurrection stuff and parents bring evil and defiance of fate you’ll love cass#kipthought
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tbh i do get a little bothered by the notion that tim took the first shot he had to drop out of school because he hated school and didnt wanna do it and all of that bc i feel like it ignores the probably very important context that he dropped out after his dad (as well as steph-or at least, he was led to believe, in the same week) died, also he was in a school shooting. He did attempt to go to a school in bludhaven but the kids there were so wildly insensitive about the shooting that tim dropped out under the pretense of his "uncle" homeschooling him. In his oyl era, he /did/ go back to school, and it provided him some form of normalcy. Tim was a normal kid, he wasnt crazy about school but he still went to school and it helped him feel like a normal kid, something he desperately clung to. He only dropped out again to do his Brucequest, in an era where he was notably Not Doing Well (which. Yeah. he wasnt doing well bc he was like 17 and almost everyone in his support system was dead, he recently had hits put out on him, got blown up, and backstabbed by his not-dead-ex, he couldnt support his theory that bruce was alive and was extremely stressed about that, and he didnt know wtf he was doing. I love him btw.) Basically tim dropping out of school was a signifier that he wasnt doing well and he was giving up on the normality that he tried to cling to and im a bit of a nitpicky person who gets irked by minor things
#robin 1993#tim drake#red robin 2009#rambles#Tim Drake wanted to cling to the idea of normal#Including going to school#School shooting mention#Tbh if all the shit that happened to tim happened to me id probably also drop out???#Like his sorta friend philmont got murdered at school#His friend darla got shot and he gave her corpse cpr (dw she came back as laura fell)#There was that one kid at brentwood who overdosed in meth i think that tim tried to save and couldnt#dc#Just things that i get bothered by a little bit????#This isnt crit aimed at anyone i literally just had too many thoughts and they had to escape#Tim Drake my beloved
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Oda call me I just want to talk
#save me zoros entire linage#the simularities between them#zoro may not care about his lineage BUT I DO#do you think Robin knows#surely she read wano history and surely ryuma was mentions#prob had a pic of him and everything and idk maybe robin put it together#she tried to mention it to zoro like ‘zoro do you know anything about your lineage’ and he’s like ‘don’t know don’t care’#and Robin never brings it up again lmao#zoro#monsters 103 mercies dragon damnation#one piece#jambles#roronoa zoro
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The more I think about Essek and Astrid the funnier the implications are. Whatever her relationship now with Caleb, it's apparently not good enough for him to have Jester call her and say hey you got some chucklefucks headed your way, help em out. And sending Essek specifically fucking kills me because. Has Astrid met him as someone close to Caleb. Does she know Bren's boyfriend just showed up and dramatically nuked the both of their magics just for a literal conversation about Aeor. Was the last time she saw him during Naughty Wizard Garden Rehab at the Grove.
The fact that Caleb and Essek knew that talking to Astrid at all would require THIS level of theatrics is honestly a level of top tier wizard bullshit that's been missing from the campaign and the fact that it was SO strong in one single encounter in a porn shop has got me cracking up. Why was she there. It's got to involve Caleb somehow. Did he ask her to show up there? If so, again why not just tell her Bells Hells were coming?
It's so unnecessarily convoluted. The fantasy equivalent of asking a bunch of engineers to solve a simple problem and they make it as complicated as is mortally possible.
#Are wizards ever not extra#This whole thing reminds me of when they went to visit that one prisoner and Caleb got a nat 20 to hit her with a rock#After she tried to shiv him#With a tool Essek probably provided her or let her have#Just so he could step in and save the day#You grandiose motherfuckers#cr spoilers#Critical role
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can i show you guys an old oc of mine her name is reina (she/he) and he is a retired villain and also he loves her superhero wife a lot
#butch woman save me ... butch woman pl#i dont really make ocs bc i get bored making stories of my own (thats really sad i know dfghdj) but i do LOVEEE designing characters#she used to be a boy oc but now i just transed her gender god bless ASKSKS#the thing was he's like this robotics expert supervillian whatever#and her wife (rosie) is the superhero who always tries to stop her#i never really knew what their story would be about bc i was just here for the character concepts lollll#i also drew rosie with this one but i wasnt satisfied with how her design looks :^(#ill share her here if i redesign her in a way that i think looks good in the future asksksk <3#sunnysidedraws#den's ocs tag#described#id in alt text#ocs#original character
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