#she tried to save me

[subtlesolitude-tailoredtaste]

I am trapped I am stuck I am a product of desperation fear tragedy and love out of obligation . I am programmed to be an obedient African daughter, yet no one protected me from monsters Just bc they came from same country village area immigrant blah blah. Mother blames me for everything she’s just starting to say it a loud. She really blames herself but the guilt is big enough to gas light me into submission and beat her self up about it.

[vaguely-concerned]

are. are you telling me that if the romanced mage warden dies and alistair is king, he deadass stares greagoir down over her dead body and grants the circle of ferelden its autonomy after ordering it rebuilt somewhere safer. first you have to deliberately leave him behind so he won't die for you and then he does that for you once you're gone, even when you're broken up??? absolute and literal king behaviour of the highest order????? the actions speak louder than words of it all??????? I think I hauve covid

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Don't Wormy About Me.

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[waterghostype]

what gives

[demigods-posts]

i've been thinking about that scene in ep 3 when annabeth apologizes to percy before pushing him into the lake. and on the surface, it seems like she's apologizing in advance for her actions. but what if she's actually expressing sympathy toward percy for how his life will change once his father claims him? once he has to suffer through the same torment as thalia did? once he becomes the outcast amongst the group of demigods who understand his struggles but will do little to help him through it?

[vinestaff]

so i finished whitepine

[afflatusssss]

It was the weight of guilt that sent Icarus crashing down a second time; he wondered if he was always destined to be punished for loving something brighter than himself, even in death.

[myhyperfixationisiforgot]

animorphs was like yeah what if you (child soldier) promised your best friend (also a child soldier) that you would save him, and that you would kill him before letting the body-snatching parasites take him. what if you realized that you can't ever do both. you can't save him without the yeerks. you can't kill him because if he dies everyone you've ever known dies.

what if you literally have to cut him open while he screams and pleads for you to stop and kill him. he hates you for saving him. he hates himself for hating you. you hate yourself for doing it, and you hate him for making you choose. all you can do is wash the blood off and go eat dinner with your family. you will wonder if what you did was worth it for the rest of your life.

[starry-bi-sky]

mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.

now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.

He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.

(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)

The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.

The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.

And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.

(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)

The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.

anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)

[ikiprian]

yeah yeah, jason todd’s dip in the ecto-lazarus pit changed something in him irrevocably, enough that he feels a resonance with fellow living-dead danny we’ve all been there

but you know who else has been killed and was revived by the lazarus pit? another member of the batfamily, a fellow hero, world class fighter, stubbornly believes in second chances and redemption? cassandra motherfuckin’ cain

[theresamouseinmyhouse]

tbh i do get a little bothered by the notion that tim took the first shot he had to drop out of school because he hated school and didnt wanna do it and all of that bc i feel like it ignores the probably very important context that he dropped out after his dad (as well as steph-or at least, he was led to believe, in the same week) died, also he was in a school shooting. He did attempt to go to a school in bludhaven but the kids there were so wildly insensitive about the shooting that tim dropped out under the pretense of his "uncle" homeschooling him. In his oyl era, he /did/ go back to school, and it provided him some form of normalcy. Tim was a normal kid, he wasnt crazy about school but he still went to school and it helped him feel like a normal kid, something he desperately clung to. He only dropped out again to do his Brucequest, in an era where he was notably Not Doing Well (which. Yeah. he wasnt doing well bc he was like 17 and almost everyone in his support system was dead, he recently had hits put out on him, got blown up, and backstabbed by his not-dead-ex, he couldnt support his theory that bruce was alive and was extremely stressed about that, and he didnt know wtf he was doing. I love him btw.) Basically tim dropping out of school was a signifier that he wasnt doing well and he was giving up on the normality that he tried to cling to and im a bit of a nitpicky person who gets irked by minor things

[winchester101]

Oda call me I just want to talk

[stardustedknuckles]

The more I think about Essek and Astrid the funnier the implications are. Whatever her relationship now with Caleb, it's apparently not good enough for him to have Jester call her and say hey you got some chucklefucks headed your way, help em out. And sending Essek specifically fucking kills me because. Has Astrid met him as someone close to Caleb. Does she know Bren's boyfriend just showed up and dramatically nuked the both of their magics just for a literal conversation about Aeor. Was the last time she saw him during Naughty Wizard Garden Rehab at the Grove.

The fact that Caleb and Essek knew that talking to Astrid at all would require THIS level of theatrics is honestly a level of top tier wizard bullshit that's been missing from the campaign and the fact that it was SO strong in one single encounter in a porn shop has got me cracking up. Why was she there. It's got to involve Caleb somehow. Did he ask her to show up there? If so, again why not just tell her Bells Hells were coming?

It's so unnecessarily convoluted. The fantasy equivalent of asking a bunch of engineers to solve a simple problem and they make it as complicated as is mortally possible.

[u3pxx]

can i show you guys an old oc of mine her name is reina (she/he) and he is a retired villain and also he loves her superhero wife a lot

[idiot-mushroom]

leg jail is a very real thing and i am the warden (real)

[buccellato]

Going a little insane thinking about how from Knives' perspective, his olive branch for Rem was rejected by his childhood perception of her loyalty to humanity, but Rem was assessing the situation as both a ship official and a parent and definitely making the choice she thought would maximize his and Vash's survival chances...like, if she was following duty as a crew member first and foremost, she'd head immediately to the bridge and tell the boys to head to the escape pods via comms or something. But instead she spent valuable minutes ensuring that Vash and Knives were safely strapped in and ready to escape, and then turned around to minimize the ship damage. Plus she had no actual way of knowing whether the plant ships were on a crash course, either—and while tristamp Nai can survive completely without food and water, no version of Vash has been shown to be able to do so completely (plus all other versions of Knives are shown at least drinking lol). So from her perspective she didn't just need to save both her kids and the humans on board, she also would've needed to save as many dependents as possible just so the boys had a way to stay alive.

She did the best she could do as a parent in that scenario, and Knives forever locked himself into a traumatized child's reasoning for her actions and blamed her to cope with it and then never reassessed from the perspective of an adult due to his, well, issues with everything. That's rough buddy.