#not a dime not a phone call not a hello on gods street

[bebepac]

The Double Date Mistake?

I am participating in @wackydrabbles​ prompt # 92 “I don’t think that was meant to go there.” will appear in bold.

This is also chapter 2 of The Meet:  To catch up on what you’ve been missing of the Meet so far Please click:  The Meet Masterlist

Original Post Date: 05/01/2021 at 3:15PM

The Book:  TRR

The Pairing:  Liam x F!OC (Liam x Jilian) 

Word Count: 1948

Summary: Jilian goes on a double date with Bebe and meets Leo for the very first time.  Jilian and Bebe share how they first met each other to the guys.  

Warnings: Sexual innuendos.  Profanity.  

Leo and Liam belong to pixelberry, Jilian belongs to @queenjilian borrowed for the duration of this series. All others are my own to help us tell the story.  

“And done. He has your number now Jili. Now fly my little birdies fly.”  

She thought he would text right away but he didn’t.  The whole way to Bebe’s apartment the twenty minute drive Jili’s phone was silent.

Bebe looked at Jili as she glanced at her phone.  What the actual hell?

She texted Jilian.

“Bebe why the hell are you texting me? I’m sitting right next to you?”

“I was just making sure your phone was on.”  

“I mean he’s still working Bebe.  He can’t just drop everything and just start texting away.”

“The hell he can’t. What in the actual fuck is wrong with you bruh?” Bebe grumbled as she angrily typed on her phone.

“Wing Woman are you trying to crash this plane?”

“The mother  hasn’t even taken off yet with you two trying to pilot it. I’m gonna need you to get your life together Jili.”  

The driver pulled to a stop. “Damn I really wanted to see how this turned out.”

Bebe got out of the car in a huff.

“I’ll let you know.”   Jili called out the window to her.

Jilian wasn’t going to let it stress her out.  He was still at work. She knew her job got busy at times, and she couldn’t just sit on her phone and do nothing.  As she was walking up the stairs to scan her door key fob, the phone rang.

It was a local number she didn’t recognize.

“Hello?”

“Jilian. It’s Liam.”

“Hi Liam.”

“I apologize for not texting or calling sooner.  Things got busy at work.”

“Oh I figured that was what happened.”  

"Bebe is something else. I feel a little attacked. I can tell it's from a place of love though."

"She's my best friend Liam. My true sister from another mister."

"So it's safe to assume you are single?" Liam inquired.

"I am, and for you the same?"

"Yes Jilian I am. Is it forward of me to say maybe we can change that for each other. I would really like to see you again. I'm off next Friday would you be free then?"

Jilian sighed.

"Friday is my date night."

"Oh. I just assumed you being single you weren’t seeing anybody even casually."

"With Bebe. We restaurant hop. We're self proclaimed foodies. 

Do you have any friends maybe we could double?”

“My brother, both him and Bebe have big personalities, I think they’d really get along.  Think she would be okay with that?”

“Yeah I think I could convince her.”  

They continued to talk, and about everything under the sun.  Liam was funny and witty and kept her attention.

She began to realize how much she had in common with the charming Liam Rys.  

She had cuddled into her bed under her covers laughing and chatting with him.  She finally rolled over realizing it was almost dawn.

“Oh my God! Is that the sun?!?!?!” she shrieked, surprised into the phone.

“I’m so sorry Jilian I completely lost track of time.”

“I have to go, I have to be at work in forty five minutes!!!”

Jilian said her goodbyes to Liam and hurried to work.  

Right when Jilian was sitting in her office reading over her chart  for her first patient’s checkup, there was a delivery.  

A large coffee drink had been delivered to her with a sweet gooey cinnamon bun.

“Gift for you Jilian Winchester.”  

Liam was really sweet.

She texted him thank you.

He had let her know he had an extra espresso shot added to her coffee.

Liam was a lifesaver.  

*^*^*^*^* The Double Date *^**^*^*^*

When Jili and Bebe got to the restaurant  Liam and Leo were already seated at the table both stood to greet them.  

Liam softly kissed  Jili’s cheek.  

Bebe glanced at Leo.  He was cute, but he was probably about five inches shorter than Bebe, not to mention Bebe was wearing heels making her tower over Leo.

Liam changed the subject breaking the ice between everyone, and the conversation between the couples started flowing.  

Jilian slipped in the subject of Liam and Leo honestly not looking much like each other.  

“We’re half brothers, we have different mothers. But don’t get it twisted Bebe.  I can scale you like Mount Everest. Taller women don’t intimidate me one bit.”

“Um….thank you for that blatant honesty…. Jili will you accompany me to the restroom please?”  

“Excuse us for a moment.”  Jili smiled politely.  

“Absolutely not Jili!!!!!”  Bebe was adamant when the door to the bathroom closed.  

“Bebe I didn’t know!  I swear when he said older brother, I was thinking he looked like him.  You would think older brothers are taller, bigger, and wiser. He is funny though.  You two do have similar personalities. Maybe try to focus on that Bee.  Let’s just try to have a fun time.  You don’t have to see Leo again.  But I know I want to see Liam again. I like him.”  

“You owe me big for this!!!”

Both women come back to the table.  Their drink orders had arrived.  Bebe takes a long sip on her drink.  

“That’s what I’m talking about!”  Leo smiled.  “A girl after my own heart.”  

“How did you and Bebe meet Jilian?”  

“We actually met in NOLA. We were both presenting at a medical conference.  Bebe for the Pharma side, because she’s a pharmacist,  and me for medical for being a nurse practitioner focused in the at risk population.”

Leo eyes flit to Bebe.

“So you’re a drug dealer?”  

Bebe smiled.  “ Legal Drug Dealer. Yep, that’s what I call myself. I’m slinging pills to pay the bills.”  

“I can dig it.”  

“We met the night before our conference began, in a bar.”  

When Jilian walked into the bar she noticed her right away.  There was a woman at the bar,  drinking her drink telling what appeared to be a funny story that had multiple people’s attention.  All were laughing with her.   She had to be a local. Jili thought.  

She had strings of beads around her neck.  

“What can I get ya?”  the bartender asked.  

She looked at Bebe.  “I want whatever she’s having.”  Bebe was the life of the party.  

“Well I did a little pre-gaming at the drive through daiquiri shop though. 

But mostly Hurricanes.  Get her a Hurricane Sal.”  

The bartender winked at Bebe.  

“Don’t skimp on the good stuff either!”  She yelled out.

Jilian’s eyes widened when the bartender  brought her the drink.

Bebe held up her glass to clink with Jilian’s glass.

“Laissez le bon temps rouler!!!!!”   The crowd screamed in agreement at Bebe’s declaration.

“What?”  

“LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL!!!!!”  

Jilian took a long drink of the cocktail.  No wonder.  

“Yep! You like it.  I’m Bebe, what’s your name?”

“Jilian.”  

“I’m gonna call you Jili.  What brings you to NOLA?”  

“Work, a conference.”  

“Bleh you said the “W.” word.  That’s not existing in my life right now.  We’re here, we’re alive, no regrets Jili.  Let your hair down and enjoy yourself.  I mean literally.  That bun is a buzz kill.”  

Jili pulled the pins out of her hair shaking out her locks.  

“So much better!!!! You’re a babe!!!  See they’re already looking at you differently.  We’re not interested though.  Unless they’re buying more drinks.”  

Jili glanced at the guys that were now looking in her direction.  

“You’ve got a lot of bead necklaces going on.”   Jili commented.  

“There are two ways to get beads in NOLA.  Buy them or earn them.”

Jili looked at Bebe and raised her eyebrow with a smile.

“Let me guess, your ass hasn’t spent a dime tonight.”  

Bebe took a long sip of her hurricane.  

“Nope.  Not a single dime.  Including alcohol.  I'll tell you what Jili.  Life’s too short.  I’m not going to regret any of my choices.  I spent a year in Costa Rica, living my life Pura Vida.”

“Pure Life.”  Jilian smiled.  Bebe was a carefree spirit, and people gravitated to her.

“We’re only here for a blink Jili.  How do you want your story to be told?”

She decided to throw caution to the wind and party the night away with Bebe.

Jilian’s alarm went off the next morning.  She was incredibly hung over as she tried to pull herself together.  

She had a random memory of her and Bebe walking down  Bourbon Street singing “Lean on Me”  while they were linked arm and arm.  The drunk leading the more drunk back to the hotel.

She smiled, straightening her black business suit.  She was about to pull her hair up into her signature bun but decided to let her tresses fall free instead.  

As she was getting checked into the convention she slipped her ID badge and program of speakers, herself among the list.  

She heard her laugh.  Jili whipped her head around and saw Bebe at the back of the line with two others.  Bebe was wearing a bright pink business suit, and her shoes and clutch had the print of medications on it.  

“The legal drug dealers have arrived!!!! Big Pharma in da house!!!!!!”  

Jili laughed, shaking her head.  

“That’s how we met Liam.”  

“We found out later we lived near each other, and made plans to meet up.  Been friends ever since.  That was like six years ago.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t ask us how we met.”  Leo asked.

“I assume you are brothers…. You met… at birth?”

Bebe shook her head at Leo.

Everyone was calm after not to mention the alcohol free flowing.  They headed to  a lounge after dinner, called Blue Notes.  The music there was full of soul and blues.  

The drinks continued. The music there stirred the soul.  

“May I have this dance?”  Jili nodded, taking Liam’s hand.   He held her close.  

Leo eyed Bebe.   “You know, I have always been one to have a huge case of FOMO.  So you and me let’s hit the dance floor too.”  

Bebe downed her drink in one swallow.  “Why the hell not.”  

They walked out to the dance floor.  With Bebe’s high heels Leo was chest level to her.  He pulled her close resting his head on her bosom.

“Um….so we’re doing this… okay…”  Bebe looked surprised but she was smiling.

Liam laughed softly when he glanced in their direction.

“I don’t think that was meant to go there.”  

“The height difference honestly never crossed my mind Jilian.  Things seemed really awkward for them for a bit, for more so Bebe.  Not so awkward now.”  

Bebe and Leo were looking at each other laughing.

“You know this is never going to happen Leo Rys.”  

“A man can dream.  Well….It could happen for the night.  I can tell you’re curious. Let me tickle your fancy tonight.”

Bebe laughed harder at him.  “You don’t give up do you Leo?”

“Nope because I get what I want.”    

“If nothing else Jilian, I think they will at least be friends from this, if nothing romantic happens.”

The next morning Liam was cooking  breakfast when Bebe walked out of Leo’s room. Leo’s sweatpants looked like capris on Bebe.  

“Good Morning Bebe. Would you like some breakfast?”  

“Sure.”

Leo walked out of the room a few minutes later.  

Liam smiled looking at the two of them.  

“Breakfast Leo?”  

“I already ate.”  Leo winked at Bebe.

Bebe choked on her orange juice.  

“Oh you were talking about bacon and eggs, sure.”  

Nope not at all awkward at all.  Liam thought as he fixed plates for himself Leo and Bebe.

Bebe was climbing in her ride share when her phone rang.

“Bebe… Liam just told me you had breakfast with him and Leo… at his apartment.  You spent the night with Leo?”  

“Leo was right, Jili.  Not all of him is fun sized.”

Tags in the comments !!!! 

[mrsarnasdelicious]

The Prophet [VI]

Sometimes I imagine this is my life. Thank you Tonya for the Beta.

Ch 1 - Stuck on you Ch 2 -  Burning Right Through Me Ch 3 - Delayed Gratification Ch 4 - Kiss Me With Your Torture Ch 5 - Killing Me Softly

Chapter 6: Failing

“Miss! Miss!” I hear someone call out for me. A man with a distinct Irish accent. I turn to the direction of the voice. I find the face somewhat familiar. There is a cheeky smile on his lips. I frown at him. “Do we know each other?” I ask. He chuckles and comes over to me. “We met at the airport.” He says. Somewhere in the back of my mind the dime drops. “Oh … hello.” I say softly. He extends his hand to me. “Name’s Declan.” He says.

Okay, damn he is cute!

I shake his hand. “Lovely to meet you, Declan, my name is Tessa.” I say sweetly. “Great to meet you again, too. Feeling any better?” Declan leans in to kiss my knuckles. “God, you are cheeky.” I purr. Declan looks me in the eye and licks his lips. “Yes I am, but I asked you a question.” He murmurs. I fluster a little at how wicked his eyes are. “I am fine.” I muse. Declan hums, he evidently does not quite believe me.

“How about I buy you a drink?” He asks. I humm thoughtfully. “Eh, why the hell not.” I shrug. I like that Irish accent. Maybe he can talk dirty to me, too. Woah woah, hold your horses, Red! Jumping into bed with a random guy you just met works out super well for you, remember. Sarcasm! But when did I ever take my own advice? Never, that is right.

I lead Declan to the pub I go to whenever Reza is in town. It is a nice cozy little spot.

Declan pulls my chair out for me. “Such a gentleman.” I purr. “Of course.” Declan plops down opposite me. “What do you usually drink?” He asks. I peer at my phone, to get an idea of the time. It’s barely past noon. “Tea or cream soda, or fruit juice.” I say with a lazy shrug. “Too early for booze?” Declan sniggers. I nod in reply. The waitress is very quick to come over. Declan smiles up at her and orders one tea and one guiness. “What type of tea would you like?” The waitress asks. “Fresh Mint, please.” I reply. “Of course.” She chuckles. She knows me by now.

“So, I assume you live here.” Declan says. “Oh sweetheart, assumption is the mother of all fuck ups. You are correct, but tread with caution.” I reply. I am determined to not make this overly easy on the Irishman. This time, I want to be in control of the situation. This time I want it to go my way. “You are clever.” Declan grins. “I like clever.” He murmurs warmly. The waitress puts his beer down and he immediately takes a swig. “Maybe I am too clever.” I say. I smile up at the waitress and open my packet of honey, pouring it into my tea. Declan shakes his head. “No, not too clever. Just right.” He says.

We chatter. I notice that Declan is not very open about himself. Nervous butterflies explode in my lower stomach. I know this plot line by now. I force myself to focus on the beautiful cupid’s bow of Declan’s lips. I am not allowed to think of … of Him. It hurts too much. I can never get Him back. I shall have to make due.

So I make due.

After tea, Declan and I head out into the city. We have a bite to eat at Borough Market and head to Regent Street on the tube. Declan is all too happy to follow me into Hamlies. “So, what are we doing in a toy store?” He asks me. “You will see.” I reply. I head to the third floor, taking the escalators in a slight run. Declan strolls away from me, though. I peer down on him from the escalator and he looks up with a grin.

Declan is different. Declan is better for me. But Declan is not Him…

I head to the schleich section, occupying my mind with my collection. I sink into my obsession, happy there. I select a few models I don’t yet have and then wander off to the Breyer section, to see if there are any blind bags left. I drift off into thoughts of which stablemate I would like to find in a blind bag. I sort of forget about Declan. But at least I am also not thinking of New York. If I look back, I am lost.

Declan finds me, a big teddy bear in his arms. I look up at him. “What do you have there, luv?” I tease. Declan laughs joyfully. “I found you a bear.” He says. He hands it over. “Don’t worry, I already paid.” He says warmly. My heart gives a painful churn. I am violently reminded of another plush, bought for me by a man that barely knows me. I grit my back teeth and refuse to let the thought get to me. I conjure a smile onto my lips. “That is so sweet of you, thank you Declan.” I cooe. I kiss his cheek and accept the bear. I inspect it. It is a very nice, large teddy bear. It is very well made. Swiftly, I hand it back to Declan, though, because I have to go pay for my Breyer and Schleich. And after that I of course want to head to the Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings merch. Just to marvel at the wands.

Declan is happy enough to just follow me. He just bumbles on after me. Sort of cute, actually.

I pay and head to the Harry Potter section, one floor up. Declan still follows. It is like having a puppy. Nothing like New York, I can breathe safely. Focus on the pup, not the wolf that was.

Was, not is.

After having strolled through Regent and Picadelli, I take Declan home.

“Nice place you have.” The Irishman grins. He puts the bear and his bag down. Stitch comes hopping over right away. She sniffs at the bear and then at Declan’s ankles. She hisses at him. “Come now Stitch, be nice.” I pick her up. She purrs and snuggles against me. “That is a beautiful cat.” Declan says. He extends his hand to pet her. She bats at him and hisses again. “Sorry, she is a bit of a Mommah’s girl.” I muse. I set Stitch down on the cat tree and turn to Declan. “Now, I am sure you are not here to have a cuppa, but I can still cook you dinner.” I tell him. Delcan grins. He closes the distance between us. “I would love that.” He says. He places his hands on my hips and smiles down on me. I smile back at him.

“May I kiss you?” He asks softly. “Yes you may.” I reply.

Declan leans in. His lips are smooth on mine. I happily kiss him back, curling my arms around his neck. Declan pulls my body against his. It is a sweet and languid kiss. I moan softly against his lips. He moans back softly. I lick into his mouth and curl my fingers into his hair. A soft purring sound rises from Declan’s throat. He tastes like caramel and cigarettes. The cigarette taste puts me off a little, but the caramel is nice.

I slowly pull away. “You’re a smoker, aren’t you?” I ask. Declan shrugs. “Sometimes.” He replies. I pat his chest. “I don’t like the taste of it.” I say. Declan pulls a box of Sminth out of his pocket and pops one into his mouth. “I will remember that.” He winks. He plops down on the sofa. I rake my fingers through his hair and chuckle softly. “You better. No kisses if you don’t.” I cooe. Declan smirks up at me. “Shame, I like you a lot.” He says. “You don’t know me.” I reply. “I don’t need to.” Declan replies. I roll my eyes. “So I am just a fuck?” I ask. Declan shrugs. “You’re fun, we’ll see where the night ends.” He says.

I head into the kitchen.

Stitch hobbles after me, mewing loudly. “Stitch no.” I tell her. She knows she is not allowed in the kitchen. She makes soft complaining noises. I pick her up and bring her back to the living room. “Don’t make me put you in kitty prison.” I say. Stitch mews back at me, understanding me full well.

I put her down in the living room, going back to the kitchen. Stitch follows me as fast as she can go. “Don’t!” I say, loudly and firmly. Stitch gives a little hiss and sits down on the doorstep. I roll my eyes at her antics.

I cook with what I still have in the fridge. Declan comes into the kitchen, making Stitch hiss and hobble back to the living.

“She really does not like me, does she now?” Declan chuckles, sitting at the small kitchen table. “She never likes the men I bring home.” I joke. I never bring men home. And Stitch has never acted this way. “Maybe she is jealous.” Declan sniggers. “Maybe.” I shrug.

I wash and skin the spuds.

“What will you be making?” Declan asks. I look at him over my shoulder. “Just a stew.” I mutter. “I am sure it will be delicious.” Declan replies. I snort and roll my eyes. “You don’t even know how well I cook, mate.” I tell him. “I don’t need to. I just feel that you will.” Declan jokingly retorts. “You are silly, Declan.” I say. He laughs joyfully. “And that is why you like me.” Declan says. “I barely know you.” I muse. “But you took me home.” Declan gets up. He comes over and embraces me. “I took you home.” I whisper. I know I took him home to try to fill a hole in my heart. But I also know he will never do. Declan is not August.

I wriggle free. “Just let me cook.” I whisper. I hate that I just compared him to August. I can’t stand that August is not with me. I feel pathetic. “Oh … okay.” Declan sounds a little taken aback. He goes back to the table and sits down. “I’m sorry, I meant not to be cold. I just like to have my hands free to cook.” I mutter. I don’t want my guest to be upset. He is a very cute guest, after all. He does not deserve me comparing him to August. That is cruel of me. He can’t help he is not that chanced love of my life. The man I will never see again. Gods, my train of thought walses right over my heart. It hurts.

I focus myself on chopping up the onions and broccoli. Tears come to my eyes, but I am not sure if they are from the onions or the thoughts of August.

Declan does his best to make small talk while I cook, but it is getting increasingly awkward and soon he shuts up altogether and puts on some music on his phone. It’s Golden Earring and I find myself singing along. Declan sings along as well. Maybe that helps a bit. We find each other again in the music. I let the songs distance me from August.

During dinner we talk about concerts. Declan is an avid event visitor. I have been to two concerts in my entire life. “But why, concerts are so great.” Declan says. I shrug. “I get overwhelmed by such crowded occasions.” I explain. “Oh that is a crying shame.” Declan says. And then he goes off on a tangent about a festival he visited earlier in the year. I happily let him talk. It is nice when he talks, his voice is beautiful and we are having an actual back and forth.

Once we are done with dinner, Declan helps me with the dishes and then pulls me into his arms.

“Now, how about you show me to your bedroom and I make love to you?” He murmurs mischievously. I pretend to think on it. Declan grins widely at me, trying to convince me. I can’t help a giggle. He is such a handsome and charming young man. “Hm, very well.” I titter. I take him by the hand and lead him to the bedroom. Declan happily follows. Neither him nor I are fools. We know what comes next.

Declan lets go of my hand and leaps onto my bed, plonking himself down. I roll my eyes. “You are such a dork.” I say. “But that is why you like me.” Declan winks at me. He stretches out his hand, as if he tries to grab me. I chuckle, shake my head and go over to the bed. Declan grabs me by the wrist and pulls me on top of him. I giggle and lean in for a kiss. Declan moans softly against my lips.

I straddle his pelvis and grind down. Declan groans softly. “Do you like that?” I tease warmly. “Hell yeah.” Declan replies. He licks his tongue into my mouth. I moan sweetly in response. It feels good to kiss him, to fill my mind with him.

Declan’s fingers slip under my shirt. His fingers raise gooseflesh on my skin. I moan wantonly. I am so needy. I was not even aware that I am. “So sensitive, oh I like that.” Declan murmurs. He draws unknown symbols on my skin. I shudder. It feels so good. It feels so sweet and so nice. I am allowed to have sweet and nice. I am allowed it because it is so unlike August.

Soon enough Declan topples me over. His mouth wanders along my jaw and to my throat. His kisses are smooth and warm. I arch into him and moan ever so softly. Declan groans and grinds down on me. I hook one leg around his hip and roll my pelvis up at his. He is hard in his jeans and I want to feel him. One hand I tangle in his hair, the other I place on his ass. He has a pert little ass. Sweet, smooth Declan. He groans softly for me. I love that sound. I want it again and again. I roll my pelvis firmly at his and bite his lower lip. Declan groans once more.

“I want you out of those clothes.” I purr. “Well, lend me a hand and I just might show you what I am made of.” Declan teases. I laugh happily.

So I help him out of his shirt, undoing the buttons for him and wandering my hands over his torso when he shrugs it off. Declan is slender, but his muscles are still defined. “Hmm, oh my.” I purr. I wet my thumb with my tongue and stroke gently over his nipple. Declan moans sweetly for me. “Hmm, such a nice sound.” I praise him sweetly. “It feels so good.” Declan whispers. I arch up and give his other nipple a sweet little lick. Declan swears softly under his breath.

He grinds down on me. I roll my pelvis into his motion.

I pull at his belt and open the button and fly of his jeans. Declan’s breath hitches in anticipation. Widely I smirk up at him and slip my hand into his jeans. Gently I massage the life in Declan’s boxers. Declan groans softly. I lick my lips at the sound of him.

I push down his jeans and his boxers with one hand and with the other I begin to jerk him off. Declan moans beautifully for me. “Such a good boy.” I tease. I arch up and bite the lobe of his ear. Declan swears under his breath.

He thrusts into my hand. He is deliciously hard. “Hmm, good boy.” I purr once more. Declan flusters a little. I wonder if he likes being called a good boy. “Do you like being a good boy for me?” I whisper. “Fuck yeah.” Declan all but growls. He closes the distance between us and kisses me in a rather lewd fashion. I moan against his lips. It is exactly the way I want to be kissed right now.

Declan tosses his socks and trousers out of bed and I draw his boxers all the way down. His cock stands proud between his thighs and is glistening with precum.

I lick my lips. “Lay down sweety.” I purr. “Are you going to suck my cock?” Declan asks. I tisk softly. “Be patient.” I playfully scold him. “Yes ma’am.” The Irishman mushes. “Good lad.” I murmur warmly.

Declan rolls onto his back and I climb on top of him again. I lean in and kiss him slowly. Declan groans and opens his mouth to me. I taste greedily of him. He tastes of spring and empty promises I will forget anyway. It is good, for a little while. Like a bandaid on a wound that actually needs medical attention. It will hold together for a little while, but is not a good solution in the long run.

My lips trail slowly down his neck. I nip at his skin, lowering slowly to his throat. He moans lewdly when I suck on his adam’s apple. I groan in reply and leave behind a dark hickey. I back off a little to admire my handiwork. “So handsome.” I whisper. “Thank you ma’am.” Declan lisps. Gods, he is sexy when he is horny. Because he most certainly is. I can feel him throb against my folds. I could just ride him like this. But that would ruin half my fun. I wander lower, to his chest. Declan moans when I lick his nipple. I smirk against his skin. “Do you like that?” I tease. “Yeah.” Declan whispers. I smirk and bite his other nipple. “Fuck.” Declan swears softly.

Lower and lower I venture, leaving kisses in my wake. Declan sweetly moans for me. “Such a good boy.” I murmur warmly.

My breath pours over the length of Declan’s hard cock. He moans loudly and rolls his pelvis upwards. He wants to be in my mouth so bad I can almost smell it. I lean in and give him a lick from base to head. I hear him swear under his breath. I smirk against the silk soft skin of his cock. “Please suck my cock.” Declan does not miss a beat. I am not going to make him beg. I will save that for later .. for August. “Such a good boy, asking nicely.” I purr. I take him into my mouth. His sweet moans are music to my ears. I can barely get enough of them.

So I suck on him, work him with my tongue, take him into my throat as far as I can. Declan, whimpers, whines and moans.

But then he begs me to stop. I let him go and look up at him. “What’s the matter, sweetling?” I cooe. “I don’t want to cum yet.” Declan says. “Do you want to cum inside me?” I cooe. “Yeah, I want to cum inside you.” Declan nods. I slowly get up from the bed, to retrieve a condom. Declan sits upright against the headboard of my bed. He is looking at me, I can feel it. “Do you like what you see?” I cooe. “Fuck yeah I do, you have a great ass.” Declan replies. I can just hear the smirk in his voice.

To affirm Declan’s statement, I undress myself, ever so slowly. Declan dits back and spectates. “Hmm, very pretty indeed.” He purrs. I can’t help a wide smile. “Why thank you, baby.” I turn to him, once I am fully naked. “Look at how hard those nipples are. You’re so turned on.” Declan licks his lips.

I retrieve the condom to him. “Shall I?” I cooe. “Yes please.” Declan murmurs warmly. “Very well.” I lean in to kiss him and apply the condom slowly to his cock. Declan groans softly against my lips and holds perfectly still. Once the condom is secure around his throbbing length, I lower myself onto him. Declan breaks the kiss to groan and grab at my hips. I can’t help a loud moan. I roll my pelvis and Declan bucks up into me. We moan in unison. It is so good to finally be fucked again. I have been needing this from the moment I left New York. No matter that it is not Him. Declan will suffice for now.

Twenty minutes later, we lay beside each other in my bed. I have a slight stitch in my side and Declan is panting. We are both basking in the afterglow. My cunt is tingling and I feel small muscles spasm in my thighs. Declan rolls onto his side to kiss at my neck. “That was great.” He murmurs. “Yes it was.” I agree softly. He draws me closer and I shut my eyes. Briefly I try to imagine myself back in New York. But Declan is not August. I loathe it. I hate him, Declan and August.. I hate myself. I should not be doing this. Not to Declan, he does not deserve that.

I go to the bathroom and make my water. After that I wash my face and go back to bed. Declan is already under the sheets. He opens his arms for me. I slip into bed, but do not cuddle up to him. Instead I rake my fingers through his hair. “Sleep now, sweet Declan.” I murmur. I kiss his forehead and then his nose. “You too.” He whispers. He knows something is holding me back, but he knows not to talk about it. That is my business, not his. I am grateful that he is being sensible.

I give him a last kiss on the lips and then turn off the lights. Declan pulls me into his arms and nuzzles his face into my neck. I roll my eyes, but let him. “Good night.” He mumbles. “Good night.” I whisper.

I lay awake for a long while. I can’t get August out of my head. I can’t sleep because he keeps me up. I do wonder if he lays awake thinking of me, too.

Declan stays in London for a week. He eats at my table and sleeps in my bed. He is my little-while lover. He is by far not enough to heal the hole in my heart. It is never enough. Only August will do.

But of course, Declan goes too, and I am left with only the void inside me. It hurts and it makes me sick. All I can do is sit on the sofa and watch Harry Potter films.

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Hello Tumblr

The subreddit has directed me here to promote my realfic(s) about actor Richard Armitage on Ao3.

I do not know the etiquette of doing this, but here I am...

Here’s the first chapter of the ludicrous romcom I’m writing right now...

°1° ­~Victoria~

Victoria, Vic to her friends and Vicky to her father and Tory to her ex-husband, walked briskly towards the little café at the end of her street, lifting her shoulders to her ears to shield herself as much as possible from the wind that cut into her skin and made her face flush an unflattering shade of windburned red.

She had no idea what Angie and Liza were up to, but apparently, she was to have high tea today, which in itself was not a reason to distrust her friends, but a little voice at the back of her head told her quite clearly that this was not going to end the way she had anticipated, and she was already annoyed before even knowing what they would spring on her.

As her heels clacked on the pavement in an impatient staccato, she yanked her handbag that kept sliding off her shoulder a little harder to wrestle it back in place and slammed it into her face with full force.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake!” She cried out in the middle of the street, rolling her eyes at her own incompetence.

When she pushed open the door though, the warm smell of cinnamon and coffee wafted into her cold, numb face and she relaxed a little, especially as the young girl behind the counter gave her big, beaming smile and took the dark grey coat from her with perfect understated courtesy.

Victoria loved this place, she had loved it from the very first time her former husband had taken her here to introduce her to the owner of the little shop for whom he had a strange fascination (which turned out to be run-of-the-mill horniness, as Angie was a lesbian).

Once, this had been a townhouse much like the one Victoria lived in now, and the old doors were still clearly visible in the bright, open room where polished white tables and dainty chairs with faded blue upholstery invited for a quiet sit-down with a good book and a steaming cup of coffee or tea.

On the old mantlepiece over a disused fireplace, daisies and peonies smiled at her from a slightly kitschy, ornate vase and her favourite spot, right next to the huge windowfront looking out on a neat little courtyard with wrought-iron tables and chairs in impeccable white, was waiting for her.

Angie had worked wonders with the small, crowded rooms, making them appear more spacious without losing the cosy feeling they had once held, and every artfully decorated plate hung on the wall had a special meaning to the dreamy, romantic woman who was the owner and boss of the establishment.

As far as middle-aged women went, Victoria was a good enough catch with her reasonably attractive physique and her actually very pretty face, not to mention her considerable smarts and her undeniable wealth, BUT Victoria was also notoriously stubborn and easily angered.

Most importantly though, at least that was what Angie and her beloved Liza thought, Victoria had taken the ludicrous and completely insane decision never to date another man again after her divorce and they were having none of that nonsense.

Hence why they were about to have high tea with her to gauge how hot her distemper was still burning after months where she had shut herself away in that little house she had taken to spite her family and avoid her ex-husband, refusing to take most calls and only ever coming to the tearoom to read a script.

As a member of a highly successful production-team, Liza had decided to offer Vic a spot as proof-reader of scripts, as her friend seemed particularly good at finding mistakes or inconsistencies. Also, Liza was convinced that Vic needed a few stories in her rather dull life after the childhood and youth she had had.

Vic took her new job as seriously as she did everything else in her life, her existence as a hermit included, and this made Angie’s plan to find her nice man to at least bed increasingly hard.

“She doesn’t want a man.” Liza had rolled her eyes at her, but Angie was convinced that it was not good for a woman to leave home and hide somewhere in London in a tiny townhouse and refuse to meet any kind of new person. It made people bitter, and she definitely didn’t want Vic to become bitter.

“Jesus, Angie, listen, I see bitter old men every day at work.” Liza had laughed, but when her girlfriend’s eyes flashed a feline green, the idea had taken hold in her own head to convince Vic to change her mind after all.

Only, not only did Vic not want to meet any men, no, she had made it very clear that there was a certain type of man that she would never ever exchange a single word with again: wealthy, suave, and handsome men, which was exactly the kind of men Liza had to sell a dime a dozen.

In this very second, she watched Vic settle down in her usual spot, waiting for her friends to arrive, her eyes narrow, suspicious slits as she surveyed her surroundings with hawk-eyed distrust.

~Richard~

He was surprised to see his phone light up and when he saw the name on the screen, his amazement only grew. There was no good reason why Martin would call him up just now as they’d meet a few days hence for one of those terrible meetings where all the rich and beautiful would stand around, bored to tears.

“Hey, what’s up?” He picked up his phone, nonetheless, curious what his friend could want from him.

Martin droned on about all kinds of things before making sure that Richard would indeed show up on that fateful evening, he had just been musing about a few minutes earlier.

It was vital that the man would be there for the success of the plan that he had hatched out with a dear friend of his, which consisted of getting two boorish, middle-aged twats to have a roll in the hay.

Maybe that hay would be pure spun gold, but the roll would be the same as it was everywhere else on this planet for all kinds of people. As far as he knew, the woman Liza had pitched had been made a millionaire by her divorce…and an emotional cripple.

After having married her high-school sweetheart, she had been replaced by a woman 10 years her junior as soon as the money and the fame started rolling in. If Liza was to be believed, she had put her heart and soul into that marriage and into the platform she now owned 50% of, which made of this banker’s daughter a good catch…Only, she apparently hated all men with a burning passion now.

Enter stage left, a rather underwhelming specimen of said population: inveterate bachelor, notoriously shy and often awkward and still stunningly handsome artiste extraordinaire Richard Armitage.

Martin had no idea how much he and Liza had drunk that evening to really believe, even for a single moment, that it would be a good idea to pair a hissing, angry, and disillusioned divorcee with a man who had not even been able to convince wide-eyed ingénues of his merit, but for some reason, they had shaken hands on their game plan and he would be damned if he was the one to drop the ball on this one.

“Yes, I will come. Why?”

That makes two of them being suspicious from the get-go, Martin thought, feeling the challenge raise his hackles and light a fire within his chest. This could be great fun if they managed to pull it off.

“Just checking in on you, old horse, don’t get your panties in a bunch over it.” Martin chirped cheerily, rubbing his hands noiselessly as he popped the earbuds in to move around the house while being on the phone like the puttering busybody he was.

Richard pinched the bridge of his nose in silent exasperation, he worked too much and socialised too little, he was well aware of that, but God, what did people expect of him? Secretly, he HAD thought about ducking out of this function on the down low, but now, that was virtually impossible as at least one person would indeed be looking out for him to show up.

There was an edge to Martin’s voice that he didn’t like all too much either as it announced some mischief he could not yet fathom, but already, he could feel the shadow of those dark rainclouds falling on him and it made him frown impatiently.

He had no time to be the butt of a joke or the unsuspecting victim of some cruel prank that had been hatched in good faith, he had no doubt whatsoever about that, but he was too old to be made a fool of in public and he hoped that his friend would know that, and respect his boundaries.

Poppycock, the hell he would, Richard thought with a sigh, rubbing his forehead to dispel the headache that was building constantly behind his eyes. He really should be wearing those glasses more consistently, but he tended to forget when he was sitting around at home, lounging comfortably around with a good book and planning a productive, prolific future that would keep him from thinking too much about the things he had missed out on.

“I’ll be there, don’t you worry.” He grumbled, hoping that there would be enough mainstream artists so he could blend into the background and slip out of the crosshairs of those who were after some funny business.

“Then I’ll see you there. I’m sure you’ll look ravishing.” Martin chuckled and earned a disgruntled growl from his friend and colleague which made him laugh silently. Oh, he was smelling that something was up, Richard was too smart to be taken unawares, but he was also adorably easily to get flustered sometimes, and, if he was honest, Martin enjoyed that a great deal.

For a second, he pondered if it would be cheating to pull Ben into the fray, but he knew that he’d need help to steer poor, old Richard into the right direction and there was only so much a single man could do.

[bananxjin]

Trophy Wife || 5-1

↦ Coworker!Seokjin x Reader

↦ WC: 6,349

↦ Drama || Angst || Fluff || Slow Burn

↦ Trigger Warnings: Insecurity, Verbal abuse, Intrusive thoughts?

↦ Tagged: @lysannnnaa��, @vanillanjin​

↦ Summary: You thought you knew what you wanted – You were sure you knew what you wanted. You thought the be-all and end-all was a loving, domestic marriage with your fiance, Touru Kim; the love of your life, the future father of your children, and the man of your dreams, but things happen. Events begin to unfold, and the relationship falls apart. You see the true colors of your husband-to-be, and you realize that maybe he’s not what you built him up to be. With everything laid out in front of you, you knew the be-all and end-all was a loving, domestic marriage.

Just not with Touru.

(A/N: Uuuhhh, I’m no chef, and I have no experience cooking for someone who’s sick. Everything I’ve written is purely for entertainment, and never take my “advice” on uuhhh.... anything. On an unrelated note, this chapter is for @bangtanlalaland​ for kicking my ass into gear and convincing me to post this <3 Ily sweets!)

✨ Masterlist ✨

“Ah! Fuck…” “Oh my god, are you okay?” “Ugh. Yeah, I’m fine.” “Please be really careful! I don’t want you to hurt yourself!” “I said I’m fine, Jin!” “Next time you can take this side, and I’ll walk backwards!”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m not made of glass, Jin. It’s not going to kill me if I get a few cuts and scrapes.” You reminded him, slowly hauling the dark wood bookshelf up another step.

The two of you had been at it for the last couple of hours, packing the heavy furniture into the back of his roommates truck and bringing it over to his new place. Although the apartment he’d been living in with his roommates was so nice, he insisted, “It gets old living with people after a while, ya know?” Then shyly added on as an after thought, “And I’m getting real sick of Hobi’s one night stands every other week.” Which turned you both into blushing messes. You’d decided not to ask anymore questions.

You explained your car-less situation to Jin the night before, and he was more than happy to accommodate your needs. Not only coming to pick you up, but being kind enough to wait until Touru had left for work. Really left. As in making Jin wait an additional two hours after Touru had pulled off your street. Just out of sheer paranoia that somehow, he’d catch you in your web lies. Jin didn’t complain about the wait, he was just happy to have the extra set of hands to get the work done.

No, Jin didn’t need to question why you were being so funny about Touru. He liked to think he’d connected the dots pretty well after watching your reactions when talking about him and his family. Touru’s just a jealous guy, and he gets that; he’s gotta protect you. You’re his gorgeous fiancee after all, and he didn’t want to lose you. Of course, that didn’t do anything to deter Jin’s major crush on you, but he understood.

“Okay, swing it to the left.” You huffed, “As far as you can swing it.” Jin complied, waddling to the far corner of the hallway. You struggled to pull it through without nicking the doorframe nor the bookcase. You were almost worried it wouldn’t fit through the doorway, but with enough determination and another push, you two somehow managed to squeeze it into his bedroom. “Okay. Where are we setting this baby?”

“Over here.” Now taking control, he wiggled his way around to the other side of the room. With your help maneuvering the bookshelf upright, it now sat nice and pretty right next to his closet. “Ah, there we go! That looks wonderful.” He said, dusting his hands on his jeans. “Are you okay? Let me see your hand, that sounded painful!” He exclaimed, taking your left wrist between his hands. You just rolled your eyes again. A dramatic groan passed your lips. “I’m fine, dad.”

“Don’t sass me.” He mockingly warned, smiling at you before he was drawn back to your arm, checking it at every angle to make sure there was no scratching or bruising. “Seriously. You nearly crushed your arm between that giant behemoth and the wall. I just don’t want you getting hurt because of me.”

“If anything, I’d get hurt from being careless. You don’t need to worry so much.” You slid your arm out of his hold before playfully booping him on the nose with the same hand, causing him to smile at you. “Why don’t you set your bed frame up, and I’ll go put your food away.” You suggested, nodding towards his bare mattress leaning against the wall.

“Sounds good. It shouldn’t take me too long!” He chirped happily. “After that, we just have the futon and my clothes left. Then we should be done.” You smiled and nodded at him.

“Well if you need me, I will be in the kitchen!” You gave him a brief smile before disappearing around the corner to make your grand exit back down the L-shaped staircase. You pulled your phone out of the back pocket of your jeans once you got to the bottom, quickly reading through your texts before you got started.

You: “Okay, I’m getting on the train now. Yuna said she’ll meet me at the station.”

You: “I should be home by fiveish tonight. Lmk if your work schedule changes. I love you!”

Touru: “❤” Touru: “Did Yuna pick you up?” Touru: “Hello?” Touru: “You need to start leaving your ringer on so you can text me back /:” Touru: “Alright. I’ll be on my lunch break in two hours. Talk to you then.”

You also noticed the four consecutive missed calls, but you knew better than to call him back at this point. You sighed and sent a quick apology, telling him you’ve been busy moving all morning, then got to work stocking Jin’s new kitchen.

You had to remind yourself that Touru’s always been like this, and it’s not because he knew you were actually with Jin. With your mind and hands preoccupied, the anxiety had actually settled for the morning and most of the afternoon, chatting it up with Jin and offering interior design advice when asked. You can’t be upset when you’re busy, right? Now that you were alone with nothing but a box of perishables and a couple kitchen utensils, you couldn’t think about anything but your fiance.

You kept telling yourself that Touru’s always been the overbearing type, and you’re getting worked up over nothing. It felt like you’re always reminding yourself of your fiance’s little quirks these days, and yet, you continue to put yourself in situations like this one. Situations where you’re going behind his back, and thus kicking his overbearing ways into overdrive, so could you really blame him? On the other hand, you shouldn’t have to choose between your friend and your fiance. It’s not like you even had anything to hide, you’re not doing anything that would make you unfaithful.

Maybe you should take a step back and try to see it from his eyes.

You did lie to him so you could help Jin today.

You sighed, imagining what Touru would say -- How Touru would react if he knew where you really were. Touru’s never been the violent type, but you had a sneaking suspicion that he very well may knock Jin on his ass if he ever found out about today, but not before tearing into you. Although you don’t think he’d ever lay a hand on you, thinking about it still put you on edge.

Why couldn’t you just stand your ground with him? You knew Touru had his own friends. Or at least you’re pretty sure he still had his own friends. These days, he doesn’t go out with them much. Back when he was in high school, he had a whole slew of people he hung around with. Several of the girls in his group would flock to him, but you didn’t remember getting jealous all too often. Maybe a little insecure, and you’d end up bickering about that, but he’d end up reassuring you in the end.

You haven’t reassured him in a bit.

You pursed your lips at the nagging thought, hopping on your tiptoes so you could reach one of the high shelves. It’s not like reassuring did either of you any good when it came to Jin, though. It’s like his name could come up, and the air in the room would change at the drop of a dime. You’ve reminded Touru several times you only love him, but you’re always met with, “I know, but…”

But…

It’s always ‘but’.

“But you see him everyday.” “But you talk about him all the time.” “But are you sure he doesn’t like you?” “But I saw you with him when I picked you up.” “But sometimes you act like you like him more than a friend.”

But, but, but, but, but!

The excuses just kept coming and coming, and it was starting to get exhausting having to defend yourself all the time. It was starting to scare you, really. There’ve been several sleepless nights where you’ve lied there contemplating your relationship. The stability especially. If Touru felt like he couldn’t trust you, then what was the point? And why wouldn’t he talk to you about it instead of his sister, or whoever?

You once tried to ask him why he wasn’t worried about any of your other male coworkers when you brought them up, but that started another argument. “I don’t know, should I be worried, (Y/n)?!” He yelled. “It’s starting to feel like you enjoy spending your time with them more than you enjoy spending your time with me!”

To which you blatantly pointed out that all five of his closest assistants were women, and he really does spend more time at work than he ever does with you, but he was offended that you’d even mention that. “They’re all married and would never look at me like that! They actually have some respect for my relationship!” He’d retorted. “Do I have to remind you how tiresome my career is? Do you think I enjoy sitting down and looking at numbers and spreadsheets everyday? Or going to meetings and discussing the same numbers with corporate? Day in and day out?” He yelled. “I do what I have to do so I can take care of us, (Y/n). To pay for this fucking house and give us a good life and pay for that fucking wedding!” As if his work schedule was the problem. You ended up walking away after a while because you didn’t want him to see you cry. You crying amidst an argument never ended well.

Like he had any right yelling at you about money problems…

You took a deep breath to calm yourself down, reminding yourself that it was just another rough patch. Especially now that it felt like your wedding was just over the horizon, it was taking a toll on both of you. You had a long road ahead as the two of you were getting ready to start your lives together.

It’s fine; it’s completely normal. All couples go through this stage. Especially couples who’ve been together as long as you two have.

You stepped away from the counter after stocking the last few boxes so you could stretch, arching your back until it cracked in just the right spot, causing you to moan out.

“Ooh, that feels so good…” “Hey--”

You yelped, turning towards Jin who was leaning against the archway of the kitchen with a soft smile on his face. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you.” He chuckled when you playfully scowled at him. “I’m done with the bed. We can go get the futon if you’re ready.”

And so you guys headed back out, taking the elevator to the garage, and hauling the futon back up to the third floor. Unfortunately for you both, the futon didn’t come apart, so it would have to go up in one piece. You worried for a moment you might have to carry it up all those flights of stairs, but you two managed to stand it upright and just barely shove it in the elevator with you.

Although it was a tight squeeze and definitely took some work, you and Jin made it work. Perhaps the only downside was being squished chest to chest with your coworker. He gave himself a double chin trying to look down at you with a goofy smile. “We’re like three peas in a pod, huh?” He giggled. “Just you, me, and this stupid couch that Yoongi insisted I took.”

You smiled at his faux frustration with his friend. “Let’s just hope the elevator doesn’t break down on us now. I’m not sure how long I could stand here with that metal piece jabbing me in the leg like this.”

“Ah, if it comes to that, I’ll find a way to switch sides with ya. Then It can jab me in the leg.” He winked.

True to his word, Jin insisted he be the one that would walk the furniture backwards this time. The futon wasn’t nearly as heavy as the bookshelf had been, but you were starting to get worn out. You made the poor decision of wearing a wool sweater today. You thought you would still get cold despite all the moving, but all you could focus on now was how uncomfortable you felt with the cold, damp fabric laying against your back.

Finally dropping the futon off in it’s designated spot, you straightened your back and shook out your sweater a bit in an attempt to dry it. “Thank god we’re done with the furniture, huh?” Jin giggled, plopping down on the couch to take a breather. You smiled, opting to sit on the arm instead of sitting right beside him. “It’s a nice little workout.”

He nodded in agreement. “Hey, I wanted to thank you again for helping me. I know you didn’t have to do this, but…” He cleared his throat. “I really appreciate it. And I hope it didn’t cause too many problems between you and your fiance.”

You rolled your eyes and shook your head. “Hey, don’t sweat it. It’s what friends are for.” He smiled shyly and looked away from you. “Okay. There’s like, five boxes of clothes downstairs, I think. We can haul those upstairs and then I’ll run ya home, okay?” He groaned as he stood up off the couch.

You smiled. “Sounds good! Actually, if you want-- Ah!”

The tip of your boot caught on the busted leg of the futon as you moved towards the door, causing you to trip, but Jin jumped forward to catch you. His arms wrapped around your waist in a protective hold while your hands immediately jutted out to grasp his biceps for safety. “Yah! What did I tell you about being careful!?”

You chuckled in relief as you looked up at him. “Thank you. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” Any words you meant to say had died on your tongue as you finally caught his eye. The way he gazed at you with hooded eyes and parted lips was reminiscent of the way he’d watched you in the stockroom that night. The way he’d made you shiver with want. The way his fingertips burned on your skin, or how you longed for him to kiss you. You could feel the way both yours and his chest were rising and falling in sync. The way his warm breath brushed against your lips each time he exhaled.

It seems God’s given you a second chance.

You couldn’t help but notice his flushed cheeks, or how his hair was sticking every which way. Probably from tousling it one too many times. Your fingers tingled with a burning desire to reach up and fix it for him. Brush it back behind his ear, feel the silky strands along your fingertips. Anything just so you could touch him a little more, but you didn’t move a muscle.

His eyes shift for a moment, brows furrowing in concentration as his pupils trace out the shape of your face, memorizing every freckle, line, and detail. Even after such a long day's work, you still managed to look beautiful as ever. He loved how bright your cheeks looked in the sunset glow. His eyes trailed down to your lips, entranced by their shape and in the way they’re parted. He wanted to believe he was the reason you were blushing; wanted to believe so badly that you wanted to kiss him just as bad as he wanted to kiss you.

You grew the tiniest bit insecure beneath his gaze feeling very much aware of how gross you may look despite the cold weather outside. You’d give anything to know what he was thinking right now, but your voice was lost on you. You were too wrapped up in Jin -- Both literally and figuratively to think about anything other than him.

Jin. Jin. Jin...

Your eyes lingered on his lips for a moment before you’re reaching out to hold his cheek in the palm of your hand. To your surprise, he leaned his cheek further into your touch, letting his eyes drift close. “You’re so warm.” He breathed against your skin. You could just faintly feel the movement of his lips against your hand as he spoke.

“You are, too.” You rasped. “You’re really warm… Are you shivering?” You ask in a hushed tone, voice laced with concern.

Jin tried, and failed to suppress a chuckle. “I thought we were having a moment, and now you’re worried about me.”

Your hand that’d been pressed to his cheek was now pressed to his forehead. “You’re feverish.” You shook your head, taking him by the arm and dragging him back to the couch. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice sooner.”

“(Y/n), you really don’t have to worry. It’s not a big deal--” But it was too late. You’d already rushed to the bathroom, digging through the singular box that read “Bathroom supplies” but you came up empty.

“Where’s your medicine?” You hollered. “I don’t have any. I don’t usually get sick.” Jin yelled back, nearly hacking up a lung as a result. Okay, maybe he was worse than he thought.

“God, I thought you were smarter than that, Jin.” You sighed, heading towards the stairwell. “You left the linen box upstairs, right?” He nodded, but you were already heading up, not even heeding him a second glance. He felt a wave of guilt wash over him suddenly when another thought crossed his mind. Oh no, what if she’s angry at me?

Your footsteps echoed in the stairwell as you reappeared in the living room carrying his king size comforter. “(Y/n), I’m really sorry. You really don’t have to do this for me--”

“Why are you apologizing to me?” You asked as you pulled him up a bit so you could drape the comforter around his body. “You’re the one that got sick.”

“Yeah, but you’re trying to take care of me--” “It’s because I care about you, dummy.”

You said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, and that shut him up real quick. Jin watched you absently as he continued to mull over your words. He knew you cared about him; you cared about him the same way he cared about you, but actually hearing you voice it out loud was making his heart race. He felt something akin to when your plane first takes off, and you feel that little tickle in the pit of your belly. Except this time, the girl he liked told him she cared about him. And that tickle was by no means little.

“Good thing I unpacked your kitchen earlier, huh?” You laughed from the other side of the wall, breaking Jin out of his trance. “I mean, I’m glad your milk isn’t spoiled, but now I know where everything is hidden because I’m the one that put it there.” You giggled.

He smiled at the thought. You and him moving all his shit into his new apartment had felt so domestic. Yeah, you did know where everything was now, didn’t you? He was weirdly happy about that. He could just barely see you around the corner, standing at the oven stirring something in a small pot. You danced around his kitchen collecting whatever you needed, humming a little tune to yourself as you did so.

You looked so natural standing in his space. Like you were meant to be there, and Jin wondered for a moment if this is what things would be like if you two were a couple. Earlier, you’d gotten a little bit too warm from constantly moving around, and he watched the way you’d effortlessly thrown your hair into a ponytail and shoved the sleeves of your sweater up. It was such a normal, human thing to do, but seeing you do it had him swooning.

‘She looks so cute in that sweater…’

‘It only makes me wish she’d wear my sweaters like that.’

He blushed at the thought and snuggled further beneath his blanket, pulling it up around his cheeks. It was still a stressful day, and both of you definitely had your moments of frustration, but having you around made everything so much easier. You guys were talking about Christmas on the way over, and you told him a little more about your mom and what it was like growing up in a town like this. He loved it. He felt like such a starved man, and the only thing that would fulfill his hunger; his only saving grace was you. Learning more and more about you. Oh, he thrived on it.

He knew it was wrong and incredibly selfish of him. To ask you to do something like this on one of your days off when you probably could’ve spent it with Touru. Hell, you could’ve spent it working on something you’d enjoy much more, but he couldn’t help himself. He craved you. He wanted to be wrapped up in a blanket made purely of (Y/n) and never have to leave. But that was all a pipe dream. He didn’t have the heart to come in between your relationship. No matter how jealous he might be of Touru, or how much he may have disliked him…

The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you.

“Sorry it took me so long.” You sighed, carrying a steaming bowl with both hands as you sat beside him. You placed the bowl on your knee and blew on the spoonful of soup.

“Open up!” You smiled, holding the spoon out to Jin, which only made him blush more. “I-I can feed myself, you know!” He stuttered, but you just shrugged. “C’mon. Humor me.”

He complied with you just this once, refusing to look you in the eye as you dipped the spoon into his mouth. He thought he knew what he was expecting, but it seemed you were just filled with surprises as the liquid that touched his tongue tasted like anything but chicken noodle soup.

“Ugh! Hot!” “Ah, I’m sorry! I thought it was cool enough--” “No, no! It’s so spicy!” He cried while taking deep breaths, desperately trying to cool his mouth off. You set the bowl down and ran off to retrieve a glass of water, which he nearly chugged half of in one gulp. “Oh my god, what did you put in that?”

“It’s chicken noodle soup with spicy chili peppers.” You said. “Well… In this case, chicken noodle soup with chili powder, black pepper, and hot sauce. You didn’t have any fresh chili’s so I had to make do.”

Jin swallowed another mouthful of water before setting it off to the side. “My mom used to make spicy soup for me anytime I got sick. It may not taste the greatest, but it’ll break that fever of yours and clear those sinuses right up!” You said cheerfully as you sat next to Jin once again, pulling the soup into your lap. Jin was quick to take the bowl away from you so he could feed himself at his own pace.

“Th-thank you.” He mumbled, preparing his poor tongue for another dreadful spoonful. “I can’t guarantee I’ll finish all of it…”

“Oh, that’s okay! You don’t have to! Just enough until you feel yourself sweating.” You giggled, taking his water cup to refill it. “You probably have to do this for Touru too, don’t you?” He sounded guilty, and maybe a little too jealous, but you didn’t seem to notice. You just shook your head no. “I would! But Touru goes to the doctor if he even so much as sneezes too many times. He won’t allow himself to get sick.”

Huh. Jin hums. Wimp.

“Why are you doing all of this for me?” “I already told you it’s because I care about you.” He cleared his throat. “No, I know that. I mean… You don’t gain anything from helping me like this. Not with moving and especially not taking care of me.”

You rolled your eyes. “God. Does everybody have to expect something in return when they do favors for people?”

“No, no I didn’t mean it like that!” You shook your head. “Sorry, I wasn’t directing that towards you.” You sighed. “It just reminded me of something my mother-in-law said a couple years ago. It… Really pissed my mom off.”

Jin frowned. “What’d she say?” You shrugged. “She asked Touru if he was sure about me. Because I can’t give him anything other than children.” Your voice was almost a whisper, looking down as you picked at your nails so you wouldn’t have to look Jin in the eye. “Mom and I weren’t very financially sound while I was growing up, and I think Touru’s mom looks down on us for that.”

“She said that in front of you?” “In front of my mom.” You corrected him. You shrugged. “It’s whatever, ya know? I don’t care what his parents think about me. He loves me…”

Jin swiped at the corner of his mouth with his thumb, “Touru at least stood up for you though, didn’t he?”

“Not really, I don’t think.” You answered honestly. “If he did, he didn’t tell me. Then again, he doesn’t really speak out against his parents. I mean, I get it. He’s inheriting his father's company in a couple of years. He needs to stay on their good side and all…”

Jin took a deep breath, trying to carefully construe his next words, but he was coming up empty. What could he possibly say that didn’t make him sound angry? Infuriated? Not just with Touru’s parents, but Touru himself. You’re supposed to be the love of his life; how could he ever stand for anyone to treat you that way, especially his own parents. Jin could only hope Touru wasn’t treating you the same way.

“It all evens out, though! I mean, my mom can’t stand him, so… Anyway!” You chirped, breaking the intensity of the conversation. “To answer your question: I don’t need a reason to do nice things for you, or anyone really. If I’m doing something for you, it’s only because I care about you.” You giggled. “There is no ulterior motive and I don’t expect anything in return, okay?”

Jin watched you sadly as you took the bowl from him. He knew you were hurting, so why wouldn’t you lean on him for support? “Let’s get you into bed, yeah? You’ve done plenty of work today, and you need the rest.” You wrapped an arm around his bundled up waist. Despite the spicy soup and giant blanket, you could still feel his body was shivering beneath the thick fabric. It was nearing six o’clock at this point, but you still wanted to stop by the corner store to grab Jin some medicine before you left.

Touru will be fine with leftovers. It’s one night, it won’t kill him.

With you by his side and a heavy blanket to boot, Jin waddled up the stairs carefully as he could not to trip you up. “She’s wrong, you know?” Jin mumbled under a shaky breath, “Touru’s mom.” You smiled at him. “Oh yeah?” He nodded. “So wrong.”

You guys made it halfway up the second flight of stairs before Jin added, “Touru’s a really lucky guy, you know?” You blushed. Hearing such kind words from Jin wasn’t uncommon, but your heart still screamed with joy every time he complimented you or offered you words of support.

“What am I saying?” He tsked himself,  “Of course you know, you’re the wonderful woman he’s marrying after all.”

Jin...

You faltered a bit, but Jin was quick to grab your arm, steadying you. You quietly thanked him as  you shuffled into the room in front of you, arm in arm. He smiled as you guided him to lay down. Your hands shook just the tiniest bit as you took the king size blanket from him so you could throw it over his form. He kept smiling, eyes never straying from your face. “I hope he knows how lucky he is to have you.” He cooed softly.

You swallowed thickly as you tucked the blanket around him before sitting on the bed beside him.

‘Don’t do this to me, Jin. It’s unfair.’

It was much darker in his room with only the hall light to illuminate your view. He closed his eyes as you felt his forehead again, gently dragging your hand up so you could push his hair off his face. He didn’t feel as warm as he did earlier, but you were still worried about him. “I’m going to get you some medication before I head out for the night. Is there anything else you need?” You whispered. Jin frowned and sat up, but you were quick to push him back down.

“It’s getting dark out. I really should--” “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Jin. I’d rather you stayed in bed.” You frowned. “But I’m worried about your safety.” He frowned back, but you shook your head. “I take the train back and forth all the time. I’ll be fine.” You reassured him. “Do you want anything else?”

He shook his head no. “You’ve already done more than enough for me, (Y/n). I’ll be okay.” You smiled softly, running your fingers through his hair again. It felt soft and fluffy. You silently wished you and Jin had met under different circumstances. You hoped that in another life, you two were able to enjoy a life of domestic bliss together. Maybe it was selfish of you to feel this way, but right now, you wanted nothing more than to climb into bed with him and run your fingers through his hair all night. Just talking and cuddling with him until the two of you would finally fell asleep in each other's arms.

But he’s not yours. And you’re not his, you reminded yourself.

“I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight knowing I didn’t do as much as I could to help you.” You whispered. Your eyes fall on his plump lips again. His gorgeous lips which were always smiling for you, even now when he’s not feeling his best.

Whoever ends up marrying Jin is going to be the luckiest person in the world.

Hopefully he’ll end up with someone who makes him as happy as he makes others.

You hesitated for a moment before leaning in, pressing a tender kiss to his forehead. “I’ll leave the bag on your doorknob, okay?” You whispered, leaning in close to his ear.

Jin shifted a bit under your weight, nodding stiffly.

“Y-yeah.” He stuttered, “That’s fine.” You nodded, gazing longingly at the beautiful tuft of hair splayed out over his pillow. Just one more time, you bargained, slowly dragging your fingers through his silky stands. Jin closed his eyes, dozing off to the feeling of your fingers running through his hair. The two of you sat there in each other's company, silently hoping for another opportunity like this in your future, never quite telling the other that you’d rather spend the rest of your nights together, just like this.

The next time Jin would open his eyes again, you’d be gone.

__

“Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit!”

Your calves burned as you raced down the street, feeling like the very bones that carried you may collapse underneath your weight, but you needed to get home as soon as possible. The sun had gone down over an hour ago, your train ended up arriving half an hour late due to maintenance, and your phone died before you even got to the train station, but you didn’t need your phone to tell you how royally fucked you were.

“Where the hell have you been?!” Touru demanded the second you got through the front door. You dropped your bag and keys on the table, trying to take a second to catch your breath before staking your defense. The bright red numbers on your oven caught your eye almost immediately.

7:42 PM. Nearly two hours after Touru got home from work.

“I was--” You coughed, “with Yuna--” “There’s no way you were still helping Yuna this late at night!” You shook your head no, “I’m sorry. Yuna took me out for dinner as a thank you.” You lied. “I meant to text you, but my phone died, and the train…”

You finally met Touru’s angry glare. You knew there was nothing you could say to calm him down. Nothing that would make it better, so you backed down. You couldn’t handle it when he looked at you like that -- Like there was a raging fire in his eyes, and you were the cause of it. It hurt you too much; brought you to the brink of tears, but you refused to cry in front of him. Instead, you crossed your hands in front of yourself and hung your head in shame. “I’m really sorry…”

Touru scowled at you. “Well big thanks for the heads up! I’m glad I got my own takeout seeing as how you had no intention of making dinner tonight!” He shouted, angrily bumping his shoulder into yours as he walked past you. You stood stiff as a board in the middle of the kitchen, listening to his angry footsteps clamber across the hardwood floor until finally the bedroom door was slammed shut.

You felt like a limp noodle as you finally found the strength to move your legs. Kicking your shoes off near the sliding glass door and dragging your feet to the living room. You didn’t have the strength nor the patience to face Touru a second time tonight. You laid the blanket out on the couch and hooked your phone up on the charger. You kicked your leggings off and unhooked your bra, tossing it to the corner of the room.

At least the sweater is dry now.

You snuggled underneath the blanket, watching with squinted eyes as your phone turns back on. Your throat felt dry, and your eyes stung as the tears began to cloud your vision. You laid your phone screen down on the couch and tried furiously to rub them away.

You lied to Touru, and now you’re suffering the consequences. You were in the wrong, and you have no right to cry.

The negative thoughts just flooded in, one after the other, scolding you, berating you, reminding you that you fucked up. How could you act like you’re the victim? You couldn’t stop them no matter how much you wanted to, and it only made you cry harder. Even with your knuckles shoved into your eyes, pleading with yourself to calm down, the tears continued to flow effortlessly, drenching your cheeks and creating a small wet spot on the fabric beneath your face.

You tried to cocoon yourself in the featherlight quilt to suppress the full body shakes that just kept rolling over you. Even shoving your body closer to the back of the couch, trying to bury yourself against the cushions, but nothing worked. You choked on your hiccup, and it was what finally forced you to get up and get a drink of water. Anything to calm you down because if Touru knew how upset you were, how hard you were crying now, things would be so much worse.

With nothing but the oven lights accompanying you in the kitchen, you filled your glass and gulped down a full glass of water, then another. It was enough to stabilize your breathing again, but you were still shaking a bit. You cleaned the glass and took a moment to splash some cold water on your face before heading back to the couch.

You took a deep breath as you laid back down, reassuring yourself that tonight was just a stroke of bad luck, and you shouldn’t let it bother you. That’s easier said than done though, especially when you’re going to bed on an empty stomach and a broken heart. You checked your phone before setting it aside for the night.

Jin: “Thank you for the goodies bag, and thank you for being such a good friend to me! I’m feeling much better now thanks to you! Did you get home alright? Jin: I’m going to assume you did, and you’re all tucked up into bed now 💕 Sleep well tonight, okay?”

A new wave of tears washed over you as you read Jin’s messages over and over. A strange feeling settled in the pit of your stomach. Something unwanted, but not quite like nausea. You typed out a response, but quickly deleted it. You did this several more times, before deciding you just wouldn’t respond. Nothing felt right to say. Part of you really, really wished you would’ve stayed at his apartment with him. What was one more lie gonna hurt? You could’ve said Yuna moved way out of town, and it was too late to take the trains. All of that just so you’d have the opportunity to talk to Jin just a little bit longer. Just to avoid this emotional downfall. Just to fall asleep feeling comforted by someone else’s warmth. Comforted in knowing they cared about you as much as you cared about them.

Quit being so selfish. You shouldn’t go running off into another man’s arms just because you had a disagreement with your fiance.

You ignored the intrusive thoughts, telling yourself you’re allowed to indulge in these selfish wants in the name of anger. As long as you didn’t act on anything, you’d be safe. You wiped your hand over your cheeks one last time before wrapping yourself up in the blanket and closing your eyes for the night. You fell asleep imagining you were being held in Jin’s embrace.

[jinkisbelly]

Oblivious 2/2

This is long overdue but, Part 1,  Ao3    AFF

Pairing: Friends —–> lovers! onkey Rating: pg w/c: 3k Summary: Kibum is a high-end Jewelry designer that lives in the city, who’s best friend is Jinki, who owns his own veterinarian clinic and owns a small farm about an hour from Kibum’s place. Saturday’s are their weekly dinner ‘dates’.

         Jinki grabs the phone and has it to his ear without much thought, voice cracking as he answers. “Hello?”

         “I know it’s like three am but Garcons isn’t breathing very well and he’s being really lethargic and and the closest 24-hour vet is like two hours away Jinki and-”

         “Whoa whoa whoa Bum hold up.” Jinki pushed off the bed with his elbow, rubbing his eyes before squinting at his alarm clock. Sure enough, it was 3:15 am on a Saturday morning. “Slow down.”

         “Garcons is sick.” Kibum took a shaky breath, “I don’t know what to do Jinki.”

         “Go to my clinic.”

         “What?” Kibum sniffles harshly, “It’s not open.”

         Jinki threw his blankets from his legs, swinging them off the bed as he quickly sat up. He smacked his mouth a few times before he stretched. “It will be in about twenty minutes or so when I get there. He’s going to be okay Kibum.”

         “Th-thanks Jinki.”

         “Get off the phone and get your baby to me, Kibum.” For once, the man did as he was told.

-----

         Jinki manages to cut his usual forty five minute commute to sixteen. His hair is a mess, slippers shuffling against the wood of the clinic’s floors, and eyes barely open as he makes his way to the small coffee pot in the office in the back. He hadn’t taken the time to change from his pajamas, just thrown a hoodie over his bare chest and called it a day. Night, technically… morning maybe. To be honest, he was only thinking of coffee. Sweet, sweet coffee. As it brewed he found his lab coat on the hook by the patient files and wiggled his arms through the holes.

         He was sipping his big cup, the one with cats all over it that Kibum bought him when he graduated from vet school, feet up on the front desk as he waited. It was a few minutes later he spotted Kibum’s white car pulling into the parking lot. In his arms was a tiny black bundle, and Jinki frowned deeply at how upset Kibum looked. He quickly detangled himself from his lounging position and walked around the desk as Kibum stepped through the door. One more sip of his coffee and he placed it on the counter before opening his arms. Garcons gently licked his chin as he was passed over causing Jinki to smile a little. “Lock the door. There’s coffee on the counter.”

         “Jinki-”

         “Trust me Kibum.” And with that, he turned to walk down the hall toward the examination rooms.

----

         Kibum hadn’t taken the time to pour himself a cup of coffee, picking up Jinki’s instead. He sat in the receptionist’s chair, slowly turning around and around as he nervously waited for Jinki to return. He could go in the room, but he figured Jinki would work better and quicker if he wasn’t hearing Kibum panic over his puppy just beside him.

         He wasn’t sure how long Jinki was, but soon he was stepping out of the hallway, Garcons held securely in his arms. There was a sweet smile on his face as he gave the puppy a kiss on the top of his fluffy head. “Is it bad?”

         “He just has the flu.”

         “The flu?”

         “Yeah. He’s young and probably is just showing the symptoms quicker than Commedes. Here,” After passing the small dog over Jinki noticed his empty coffee cup. He rose an eyebrow. “Thirsty?”

         “I was stressed.”

         “He’ll be okay. I gave him some medicine to help with his symptoms and I have some for Commedes too.” Jinki rummaged in the big pockets of his coat before lifting out two large pill bottles. He held up one, “These are antibiotics to help with any bacterial infections they can get with the flu. Just, make sure to give the right dog the right dose.”

         “Thank you Jinki, I’m so sorry I woke you for nothing.”

         Jinki was hanging up his lab coat before he shook his head. “It wasn’t nothing, Kibum. You were worried and that’s enough for me.”

         Kibum looked up from Garcons, hand still running over his fur. “How much do I owe you?”

         He squinted as he finished cleaning up the coffee maker. “If you think I’m taking a dime from you, I’m offended.”

         “But-”

         Jinki yawns then, eyes going back to being barely open as he scratches his tummy. “If you really wanna pay me… I’d like some eggs please.”

         “Alright, come on Sleepy.”

         Kibum led him to his car by the man hooking his arms around his own, following him through the mostly empty streets to his apartment.

-----

         Jinki pushed the plate that had his eggs on toast onto the coffee table in front of him before resting back against the couch. In his lap were both dogs, somehow, as he leaned his head to the left onto Kibum’s shoulder. His eyes were beginning to close as he slowly petted both dogs’ heads. He hummed as Kibum spoke. “Thank you… I know how much your sleep means to you.”

         “Yeah,” Jinki’s eyes fully closed as a sleepy smile pulled on his face. “But you mean more, Bummie.”

         Kibum’s throat is a little dry as he shifts as subtle as possible to look at him, but then he realizes Jinki had already fallen asleep and all he could do is chuckle. He gets Jinki settled on the couch with a pillow and a thick quilt, smiling as both his dogs jump on the curled up lump of his best friend. “Goodnight you three.”

         He’d have to wake him up in a few hours so he could go and take care of all his animals, but until then he’d let the man sleep.

-----

         “You really don’t have to help me.”

         “You promised me a horse ride.” Kibum quips as he struggles to pull on the pair of extra boots Jinki has. “We can’t do that until your morning chores are done.”

         “Chores,” Jinki laughed over the clucking of the chickens around his feet, sprinkling feed as he took small steps around. “You make me seem like a child.”

         He huffed loudly as he finally managed to get the boot all the way on and leaned back on his hands, the wood of the back porch cool against his palms. “Well, what would you call it?”

         “Being a parent,” Jinki smiled widely at his chickens, “Yes, yes there’s some for everyone.”

         Kibum forgets he’s basically staring at the man until Jinki looks fully at him, arm holding the bucket going limp at his sides as his expressions shifts to one of concern. Kibum shakes his head softly before heaving himself up with a little smile. “Daydreaming. Let’s get going. What do we got first?”

         “Hay.”

         “Hey yourself, but what’s first?”

         Jinki snorted as he walked over to the barn, pushing the door open all the way and gestured further in. Kibum followed his arm and pressed his lips together, realizing, as Jinki laughed. “Hay.”

         “We are never talking about this again.”

         He had to threaten to poke Jinki with the pitchfork for him to stop laughing.

-----

         Kibum flexed his fingers on the reins as his gaze shifted from the view before him over to the man to his left. Jinki had his eyes closed, a relaxed smile on his face as the breeze blew through the meadow. “You know, I often forget the amount of land you have.”

         “It’s not that much.” Jinki grinned as his eyes opened, meeting Kibum’s gaze. “It’s still nice, don’t you think?”

         “I also understand why you moved out here from the city,” He was looking at the few cows in the distance grazing, humming as he replied. “It’s… peaceful.”

         “Race ya back?”

         Before he could reply, Jinki was already turning his horse around and running back down the hill. “Cheater!”

         He could hear his laughter over the wind rushing past his ears as he tried to catch up.

----

         “Taemin, please stop snooping.”

         The man’s head lifted a little, humming, but his eyes were still scanning the dry erase calendar Kibum had on the wall in his small kitchen. “Did Jinki have something to do tonight?”

         “No, why do you ask?”

         Finally, Taemin looked over. His light hair pushed off his forehead and a mischievous smirk on his face. “Isn’t he usually your first choice?”

         “Not all the time.” As Kibum slipped on his dress shoes, his voice was muffled as he said. “He doesn’t like art like that.”

         “Are you dating Jinki?”

         Kibum can’t stop the burst of laughter from billowing out at such an absurd thought as he walks into the kitchen to grab his keys from the tray on the counter. “No. He’s my best friend Taemin.”

         Taemin follows him into the next room, leaning against the wall leading from his front door. “I don’t know if that’s all he is Kibum.”

         With his hands on his hips, Kibum turned. “What are you trying to say Taemin? That I’m dating Jinki and don’t know it?”

         “I mean,” Taemin shifted, arms crossing over his chest, “You practically have a date night every Saturday. You sleep over there. You text him all the time.”

         “So do best friends.”

         “Your dogs listen to his commands. You have a toothbrush in his bathroom. The master. Bathroom.” Taemin grinned, “Besides, he got up at 3 am on one of his only days off to treat a dog flu. You’re practically dating. He’s literally watching your dogs, who you call sons and trust with literally no one, right now.”

         Kibum froze after finally finding his cell phone, blinking rapidly as it dawned on him. “Oh my god, I am practically dating Jinki.”

         “You’re practically married, honestly.”

         Taemin got a pillow to the face, hard, as Kibum walked past him to leave.

-----

         The next time Jinki is dog sitting, he invites Jonghyun over to keep him company. They had had plans to go out for drinks before Kibum asked for him to watch his dogs at the last minute. Jinki glances up from feeding Commedes and Garcons when he hears Jonghyun’s voice coming from the hallway. “Who’s toothbrush is in your master bath?”

         He didn’t fail to notice the wiggle of his eyebrows. Running a hand over the dogs’ heads, he quipped, “What are you doing in my master bath?”

         “You have nice smelling hand soap in there.” Jonghyun huffed quietly as he fell against the couch. “And stop deflecting. Who you fucking?”

         Jinki just snorts, rolling the small bag of the dogs brand of food and placing it on the bottom of his pantry next to the cats’ food. “It’s Kibum’s. Get your head out of the gutter you sex fiend.”

         Jonghyun is up on his knees, leaning on the back of the couch, staring at him blankly. “Kibum has a toothbrush in your bathroom? Not the guest bathroom… yours.”

         Once he has the bottle of juice from the fridge he pauses before pouring. “Well yeah. Why would I put it in the guest bathroom when he sleeps in my room? He’d have to walk across the house to get his toothbrush.”

         “For fuck's sake,” He barely hears Jonghyun mumble, before he raises his voice. “You’re dating.”

         “We are not shut up.” Jinki grabs his cup of juice after putting the bottle back in the fridge. He’s stepping around the couch to sit in his old recliner as he continues. “You’ve never slept in the same bed as your best friend?”

         “Yeah, but I only have one bedroom apartment with a shitty ass couch that as a human being, I don’t have the heart to let a human sit on for long periods of time, let alone sleep. You have a three bedroom house and a comfy as fuck couch.” Jonghyun smiles a little as he continues, “And when I sleep over, I get the guest bedroom.”

         Jinki is staring at the rim of his juice as he mutters. “One room is for the cats.”

         “Pardon the therapizing, but,” Jonghyun clears his throat then, hands folded in his lap. “Maybe the reason you haven’t been in a relationship, let alone a serious one, in almost three years is because everyone who’s expressed interest in you is not Kibum. I think deep down you know you’ve always had feelings for him. You don’t like things being unresolved.”

         “If I wanted to be therapized by you, I’d have made an appointment.”

         Jinki really wants to hit the shit eating grin on the man’s face. “You’re not denying it.”

         “What do you want me to say? That I have romantic feelings for Kibum?”

         “Yes.”

         “That was rhetorical.”

         “Jinki.”

         He puts his juice on the table then, fidgeting with the end of his shirt, and avoiding Jonghyun’s gaze. “We’ve been friends since undergrad Jonghyun. I’d be lying if I said I’ve never had romantic feelings for him, but I like what we have now and I’m not going to change it.”

         “Come on Jinki. Live a little. You’re almost 35.”

         “What, am I almost out of my prime?”

         “As long as I’ve known you both, you are the one thing that is constant in his ever-changing, ‘I get bored easily’ life.” Jonghyun leans forward in his seat, soft, understanding smile on his face. “He gets annoyed so quickly on his dates. He’s been through what, 12 people in the last two months? But he’s never gotten tired of you.”

         The silence that falls between them is short in time, but feels like so much more before Jinki utters, “We are practically dating, aren’t we?”

         “Yep,” Jonghyun happily chirps, “Just without the butt stuff as far as I know.”

         “Shut up.”

         “I’ll think about it.”

-----

         Jinki finds in the next couple months that while doing their normal things, he’s all of a sudden dissecting it with a more romantic lense, and he knows Kibum has to be picking up on the off feeling in the room. Especially when most of his wine is still in his glass and the salmon on his dish has barely been touched. “Is the food alright? I tried a different sauce and-”

         Kibum gives him a tight smile as he places his fork down on his napkin, “The salmon is just fine Jinki. I just..”

         “Just what, Kibum?” He softly asks.

         The man visibly takes a deep breath as his gaze falls to his lap. “I was talking with Taemin and he said some crazy idea that what we’re doing is basically dating.” His tongue runs over his lips quickly before he finally looks up at Jinki. “And the more I think about it the more I start to think he’s right.”

         “I see.” Jinki takes a sip of his wine before wiping his fingers on his napkin in his lap. “Is the idea that it could be seen as a date bothering you?”

         “No, no that’s not it Jinki.” Kibum rushes out, shaking his head and hand reaching out to land on Jinki’s own before he just as quickly removes it. “I just- I think I may have been in love with you for years and it’s why nothing ever worked out because they never met my standards because they weren’t you?”

         His voice had increased in pitch with each word, his hands visibly shaking from the limited view of his lap Jinki has. There had been very few times in their friendship he had seen Kibum look so nervous and he softens, “It might calm you to know that I think the reason I haven’t fallen for someone deeply in so long is that I was already so deeply in love with you.”

         “What have we been doing all these years?” Kibum breathes out a laugh, running his fingers through his hair. “I have a toothbrush in your bathroom like we’ve been sleeping together.”

         “I always thought we made great friends and I didn’t want to risk losing that.”

         The corner of Kibum’s lips curves up then. “The only difference between us now and dating is I’ve yet to kiss you.”

         Jinki’s head dips, cheeks pink as he shyly asks. “Do you want to?”

         “A lot… actually.”

         “Well eat your food. Maybe you can have one as dessert.”

         Kibum’s smile grows as he flirts, “Are you saying your kisses are as sweet as that pie over there?”

         Jinki shrugs, sipping his wine slowly. As the glass is gently placed on the table he gives a little grin. “I guess you’ll just have to find out.”

----

         The movie’s opening credits are playing when Kibum lets his hand fall softly on Jinki’s knee beside him, causing the man to slowly look over him. It’s not the first time he’s admired or noticed at all, Jinki’s beauty. He’s so attractive then, brows lifted and a little whisper of a smile on those plush lips of his. His brows are falling for just a moment before Kibum’s hand is cupping his cheek and he’s blessed with the rose shade across Jinki’s cheeks. “Do you want me to kiss you?”

         “Yeah.” The kiss is simple and quick at first, but as they part with wide eyes realizing fully what they had done, it wasn’t weird as they expected it to be. It felt… nice. Before either of them can overthink it, Jinki’s eyes are closing once again as he leans in. Both of his hands are pushing into Kibum’s hair as he presses their lips together. When he parts again, he’s smirking. “If you’re gonna kiss me, do it properly.”

         Kibum’s heart thumps loudly in his chest as he gazes at him. Jinki giggles before quietly asking. “Did I break you?”

         He raises his hand and shows a tiny space between his finger and thumb. “A little bit. It was a sweet kiss.”

         Jinki kisses his cheek before laying his head on Kibum’s shoulder, getting comfortable to watch the movie. The small display of affection is one Jinki had done so many times before, but as he curled their fingers together Kibum felt so warm and content in a way he hadn’t before. He rather liked this.

[detroit-become-hurt]

Flowers and Heart Break pt. 2

Pt. 2 of Flowers and Heart Break

Enjoy~

(Gif does not belong to me)

After having paid upfront, you head out with Ralph, telling him you won’t get out of work until around 8:30. Nodding he goes to stand in the ‘android parking’ that was out in front of the cafe. You looked at him for a few seconds before heading inside, feeling slightly guilty of having him stand out there. However, you didn’t have long to dwell on Ralph standing outside as more customers started coming in. After an unusually busy day you finally were able to leave, asking Ralph if he was ready to get moving. Nodding he walks alongside you, not saying anything. The walk back home was filled with awkward silence, or at least it was awkward for you. You were unsure if you should say something to Ralph or not. Deciding to break the silence you ask, “So Ralph, what’s your favourite flower?”

His LED flashes yellow for several seconds, processing your question. “I don’t have a favourite flower. It’s not in my programming.” was his reply. Rolling your eyes you grin slightly, “Well I know that, but surely after working with so many different plants you have one that you at least like somewhat.” You insist. His LED blinks some more, before going back to blue. Your shoulders slumped with disappointment. What did you expect? For him to actually give you an answer? “I rather like succulents actually.” He says quietly gaining your attention. Your head snaps to look at him, “What?” He turns his head slightly to look at you, the slightest smile on his lip. “I said I rather like succulents. They’re quite small and cute.” Smiling you look forward, happy with his answer.

Upon arriving at your home you showed Ralph around the house, before taking him to the backyard. Showing him your mess of a garden you explained how you weren’t quite sure what to put where, or what flowers would do well with others. Ralphs LED flashes red before turning yellow upon the sight before him. Your ‘garden’ at the moment was more of a mess of dirt with potted plants sitting on top, waiting to be planted. “I suppose the first question to settle is, what do you have in mind?” He asked, causing you to tilt your head. “Do you want a garden that will attract different birds, and butterflies? Perhaps instead a garden that is very fragrant?” He suggests. Shrugging you crossed your arms, “I honestly don’t know. I was hoping perhaps it could be something the two of us could figure out.” He looks at you, arms crossed behind his back. “I used to do a lot of gardening with my mom when I was little. However I never knew much about plants like she did. I mostly did the weeding and watering, while she arranged everything.” You explained looking anywhere but him.

“Perhaps we could start off with arranging the few plants you have, and go from there.” Ralph says with a kind smile. Nodding in agreement the two of you went to work on the mess you had created days prior. Truth be told, you were awful at gardening. You didn’t know anything about it, however Ralph explained things to you as he did them. Really you just sat back and listened, watching Ralph work. Every now and then you’d ask him a question, and he’d happily answer it. When it was becoming dark Ralph looked up, “We should go inside. There’s not much else we can do right now.” Standing up he offers you his hand, which you gladly take, brushing the dirt off of your pants. The two of you head inside to get cleaned up. You offer Ralph the guest room to stay in, feeling weird again if he just stood out in the living room of the house doing nothing. He replied that he did not need a room, however you just ended up asking if he would take it anyways, saying it would make you feel better. Agreeing he makes his way to the room, before bidding you goodnight. As you lied in bed that night, you thought about Ralph. No doubt they made his model highly attractive, however you thought it odd how he seemed to be...expressing emotions. There was nothing wrong with it, just...Ralph wasn’t like other androids.

It was about a month of Ralph living with you, and your garden was almost finished. Ralph had selected the best flowers for it, choosing ones that were various colors, each one vibrant and beautiful. He tended to it each day while you were gone at work, and came in to talk with you when you got home. In that short time span, Ralph also got to know you as well. Well, there wasn’t really much to tell him. “My mom passed away from an accident. And my dad and I don’t talk anymore.” You say one night as you sipped on a cup of tea. Ralphs head cocks to the side, and you wanted to scream. Why the hell was he so cute? “Why not?” He asked. You shrugged looking at the floor, “He’s just not very...nice.” You say wanting to leave it at that. Ralph doesn’t say anything, his LED flickering yellow, before making his way over to you. Looking up you nearly dropped your cup in surprise as he pulls you in for a hug. Your shock quickly dissipates away, and in return you wrap your arms around him. After a few moments he pulls away.

“Forgive me. I just...you were sad. And I know sometimes when humans are sad, hugs can help.” He says, eyes shifting around the room. You smiled placing a hand on his bicep. “Thank you Ralph.” He smiles back, nodding. The next day you walk outside, seeing Ralph working on the garden. Clearing your throat, you grin as you held your arms behind your back. “y/n, you are home early.” He says, before his eyes drifted to your arms behind your back. “I got off early. I have something for you.” You say rocking on the balls of your feet, “As a thank you, for all that you’ve done.” With that you bring your arms in front of you, holding a small ceramic pot with a succulent inside it. “I remembered you said succulents were your favourite.” Ralph stands, gently talking the small plant from your hands. He smiles softly before looking at you, stepping closer. Your chests were touching, his face just inches from yours. “Thank you.” He says quietly, his eyes flickering to your lips.

You weren’t sure exactly why you were feeling like this, why your heart felt like it was going to burst out of your chest. It felt hard to breathe, and you couldn’t think straight. You also couldn’t figure out how or why Ralph had been acting like this, displaying emotions and small acts of affection. But when Ralph pressed his lips to your, none of that mattered. The only thing that mattered, was him. After that day, the two of you shared many more kisses, and touches of affection in the privacy of your home. For once in your life, everything was going good. However, nothing lasts forever.

It was a slow day at work when you received a call. The phone for the cafe rang, your co-worker answering it before handing you the phone. “Someone’s asking for you.” Was all they said with a shrug. Taking the phone you placed it to your ear. “Hello?” you asked, only you didn’t get the response you were expecting. You heard the sound of what seemed to be a scuffle, someone crying out no before there was a loud crash. “Hello? Ralph? Is that you?” You asked, panic rising in your chest. Finally someone answered, “You have the money to buy one of these plastic assholes, but when it comes to me you can’t even spare a dime?” A voice yelled.

Your face paled as the blood drains from it. “How..How did you find me?” You asked quietly. Your father laughs on the other end of the line, “It’s not that hard when you walk home from work. I was lucky I spotted you in the cafe the other day. Was just passing through town, looked over, and there you were. You had me worried...I thought something had happened to you. However, I see you’ve been doing just fine. More than fine. Say, how much do you think your little buddy would make me if I sold him?” He asks.

Ralph. Oh god please no.

“Don’t you touch him!” You spit out, slamming your hand on the counter. “If you run fast enough, you might be able to stop me.” Was all he says before hanging up. “Fuck!” You swore as you threw the phone down, pushing your co-worker out of the way. Rushing outside you started sprinting back home, not bothering to stop for the crosswalk sign to turn on. A car nearly ran into you, honking its horn as you narrowly dodged it. Your lungs were burning, and the normal fifteen minute walk home felt like it was taking years.

Please don’t hurt him. Anyone but him. I don’t care if it’s me you hurt, but not him. Please no…

Up ahead you see your street sign, and you used the last of your strength to push yourself to run faster. Tripping over the steps you stumbled through the front door, looking around. The kitchen table was shoved into a corner of the kitchen, some of the cabinet doors hanging off on their hinges. Broken glass here and there. Where was Ralph? “Ralph?” You called out, searching the house. You checked both bedrooms, noticing that the drawer where you kept emergency money had been empty, but that didn't matter. “Ralph! Ralph where are you?” You’re nearly screaming at this point, wanting to tear your hair out. Running back out to the living room you now notice the back door open. Looking ahead you can see Ralph, lying on the ground.

“Ralph?” You asked, your voice thick with fear as you hesitantly walk towards him. The garden is destroyed, flowers flattened and ripped up. In the middle of it all, lies Ralph, face down. Kneeling next to him your hands shake as your pushed him onto his back, crying out when you see his face. A large gash had been carved down the side of his face, blue blood leaking out. His eyes were closed, the light of his LED off. “Ralph. Wake up. Wake up.” You say shaking him, laying his head in your lap. “Please wake up. Please don’t leave me. I love you.” You begin to sob, holding his body close to yours.

System Reboot

Warning: Damaged Biocomponents

Order placed.

Pickup available in the next two business days

“Who are you? What happened to Ralph?” Ralph asked, his eyes opening slowly. Pulling back you looked at him, eyes wide. “Ralph...it’s me. Don’t you remember?” You asked quietly, tears running down your face. Fear is plastered on Ralph's face as he looks at you, one of his eyes having gone black from the damage.

Memory Damaged

“y/n?” Ralph asks hesitantly. You nod, covering your mouth with your hand. Ralph doesn’t say anything, leaning into you, his head pressed against your shoulder. You cup the back of his head, your other arm wrapping around his torso. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Everything’s going to be fine. It’ll be fine. I’m sorry.” You repeat over and over as you hold him, guilt and anger running through you. “I won’t leave again, I won’t leave you ever again.” You say holding him tighter against your body.

Ralph’s arms shakily wrapped themselves around you, holding you just as tightly. “Ralph loves y/n to.” he says.

You cry harder hearing his words. You knew things were going to be different now, but Ralph was okay. He was okay, and that was all that mattered.

[emerald-eyes-8917]

Your Hand in Mine (Until the end of the world...)

This is response to an anon prompt that I received via my askbox about Dan being upset about a fan taking a photo of him and the reader holding hands,what with the Internet being so judgemental.

I hope you enjoy this, anon, whoever you are, and this will be crossed posted to ArchiveofOurOwn as well, so any comments or reblogs would be much appreciated.  So without further ado, here we go!

P.S. : I would rate this R, so take care if you are reading at work.  And here we go for real!

The day had been too long and the wrong side of busy.  She was immensely grateful for the clock striking five o'clock when she was able to leave the office, already looking forward to seeing her partner again, the inimitable Dan Avidan.

It still gave her a frisson of delight to think of him as her partner, even after these few months together.  

He had been working hard on his music lately, as well as video shoots, promotion and planning tour dates for the upcoming Tour de Force, and she had missed him a great deal while still feeling so proud of him, Brian and TWRP for all they had achieved together, and that success surely continuing to grow.

Sending him a quick message that she was on her way home, followed by a line of heart and star emojis, she gets in her car to go pick up some dinner on the way, unable to keep herself from singing along to 'Danny, Don't You Know?' as soon as it comes up on her iTunes shuffle, unaware that her screen does not notify her of any replying message.

An hour later...

Arriving back at Dan's apartment, she places the sushi meals to one side, for knowing the unpredictable hours that it took while recording the Game Grumps show, it would not be worth it to pick up a hot meal that would go cold in minutes.

There was still no reply to her message, but that was hardly alarming.  Dan rarely replied on days when there was plenty of games to play with Arin or music to record for Ninja Sex Party or Starbomb.  He pushed himself too far sometimes, and she prays to herself that this was not one of those days where he was on the brink of exhaustion.

She makes some tea, tidying up around the apartment to occupy herself, humming quietly and waiting patiently for his return.

However, after eight o'clock passes without any sign of him, she begins to feel a strong feeling of worry creeping in.

She sends one more message, 'Hey Dan, hope you're not working too hard!  I have dinner here at home so don't worry about picking up anything if you're hungry and plenty of warm tea too.  See you later.  xxxx'

Typing an 'I love you' at the end of the message seemed like a desperate manuevre to get his attention, since she was beginning to feel quite anxious about his lack of replies.

A half hour passes and she is pacing around the flat like a caged animal, clutching her phone like a lifeline, extremely close to panic, when the jangle of keys makes her jump, heart beating quite fast.

The door opens and Dan walks in, head bowed, not even calling out her name or any other greeting.

Before she can even say hello or ask what he had been up to all evening, or why he had her almost worried sick, he has stalked through the living room, not even casting a look at her, making for the bedroom, and closes the door quite sharply, the loud snap echoing through the apartment and leaving her nerve endings pricking with fright.

She is left standing alone, eyes stinging and chest heaving.  Throwing her phone on the sofa, making it bounce off the cushions with some force, she could have almost screamed in frustration or burst into tears at this insensitive treatment.

She had been near frantic with the pervading thought that he could have been in an accident, and when he finally decided to come home, he does not even say a word or offer any explanation.

White, hot anger floods her veins and she strides over to the bedroom door, rapping loudly with her knuckles.

"Dan!  /Dan/!  Open up, we need to talk, right now!"

No answer.

"Dan... I am coming into the bedroom to speak to you, because you are acting like a real jerk right now, and I've been worried about you all evening and I deserve to know what is going on.  I am opening the door, I gave you fair warning..."

Turning the handle, she pushes the door open, walking into the bedroom at such a quick pace that she almost trips over her own feet, prepared to launch into a tirade, but she halts immediately at the sight of Dan sitting with his back to her on the edge of the bed, bent over with his hands clenching and unclenching in his hair.

The rage suddenly evaporates into pure concern at this tableau.  It was not sulking, nor was he pacing the room.  This reaction was something else...

Swallowing thickly, she whispers, "Danny?"

Still no response.

"Dan..."

She ventures forward carefully, treading softly, her voice nothing more than a soft whisper, "Dan... has something happened?  Tell me?"

Her immediate thought focuses in on his family, that a terrible event had occurred involving his grandmother, his parents, his sister or his nephews.

He still doesn't reply, and now she cannot disguise the tremor in her voice, "Danny, you're scaring me... please... please talk to me."

It is only then that Dan sits up straight, turning his head slowly towards her, and already she can see that his eyes are glimmering, the corners of his mouth down-turned, his entire posture speaking of someone defeated.

"Hey."

She shuts her eyes, huffing a sigh, "Hi, Dan."

He looks down again, not being able to meet her eyes for more than a few seconds, admitting quietly, "I seem to have fucked up quite badly, haven't I?"

She does not answer, only calling on all the love she possessed and all the strength left in her body not to collapse.

"I didn't mean to scare you.  I read your messages, but I was driving and couldn't get my phone to reply.  I just... I needed to go for a drive and think."

This conversation was almost like getting blood out of a stone and her patience was wearing quite thin, so she asks once more, "Think about what?  Please tell me what's happened or else I will walk out of here..."

"Someone took a photo of us."

A beat.

"What?"  It is akin to being doused with ice-cold water, the gravity settling down on her and all she can do is sit down heavily on the corner of the bed across from him, looking straight at him.

Dan still does not meet her eyes, and pushes back his shoulders as if steeling himself to make a long speech, "Someone, a fan probably, managed to get a photo of us together.  When we were leaving that restaurant last week and I decided to take your hand because we were having a nice time out, and I like holding your hand, but then some jerk decided to take a photo of us out together and post it to their Instagram with the caption 'Shattered dreams of the fangirls' with maybe about a hundred comments about your clothes, your hair and who you could possibly be.  I've had my privacy denied, and yours as well, so someone could make a joke and everything's just crappy now and I'm just really pissed off about it..."

He brings his fist down on the mattress with a solid thump and she starts with fright.  She had never seen him angry before in all the time they had been together, and it was not a pleasant sight.

His voice sounds quite shaky now, as if he was holding back tears, "You know I love the fans.  They give me the chance to have a dream job, to do amazing things, but Goddamnit, I lose my patience sometimes, and it's so horrible to feel that way.  It's like dealing with really immature people sometimes, who just want to posture and be negative and make a judgement.  It's the same when there are really mean, personal comments about Arin's skill with video games,with people telling him that he sucks all the time and I have to defend him.  I shouldn't have to, and I shouldn't have to defend my relationship, either.  Everyone is just so judgemental on the internet without even knowing the whole story and it's just the worst..."

Taking all of this in, she wraps her arms around her middle, hugging herself quite tight.  Her own personal reaction to someone posting a photo of them online was one of quiet shock, it being the first time she had ever even been linked to anyone from the Grumps crew, let alone someone she was intimate with.  She was also feeling heartbroken at Dan losing any ounce of faith in his fans, the negative side of fandom clearly on display here.

Summoning up all the courage she can, she whispers, "What do you want to do?"

Dan heaves a sigh, "Nothing I can do.  It was out in the street, in public, by chance.  If I start anything negative, the backlash will be huge and some of the fans might take offence.  You saw how it was when I first joined the show, can you even imagine what it would be like now?  There is hero worship that can turn on a dime in a second.  No, someone took their opportunity and it just pisses me off that people don't know where the boundary lies.  I want my relationship to not be posted online, unless it's my choice, and trust me, I won't be doing that, because it's not fair to drag you into this bullshit.  You don't deserve hate or trolls or anything of that immature stuff... I just want us to be together, to enjoy this time together, and not worry about people hiding behind their keyboards being trolls or having to read that I've broken peoples' hearts."

He runs his hands through his hair, flopping back on the bed, arms outstretched either side of him.  He tips his chin up slightly and looks at her upside down, and immediately his forehead creases when he takes in her expression and her defeated posture.

"Oh... oh, God... I've upset you.  Baby, I didn't mean to..."

He opens his arms and like a magnet, she immediately shuffles across to let him take her in his arms, hugging her clumsily, all the emotions coming to the surface: relief that he home and safe, hurt that he had shut her out, the feeling of upset that their relationship was being scrutinised.  All she can do is allow the tears to fall, hiding her face in his chest and clinging to him tightly.

"Baby... I'm so sorry... I'm sorry for all of this... it’s just a fucking mess and you don’t deserve it.  I’m so, so sorry..."

She lets out a shuddering sob, "Danny... I need to say something..."

"Yeah?  What is it?"  The question is almost fearful, and even now she can detect his heartbeat picking up pace.

Why must I love you so much?  Why does it hurt?

She presses her hands to his chest and sits back from him slightly, though not completely separating herself from him, lower lip trembling as she speaks, just about managing to get the words out without breaking down into sobs, "I don't like it when you close yourself off from me.  It's like... I feel that you don't trust me when you don't open up, that you don't want to talk to me, and... it really hurts.  I'm sorry about someone invading our privacy, it shouldn't have happened, but we can work through that together, only if you talk to me."

Dan lowers his eyes, utterly ashamed, "I know that... I guess I thought I could protect you from all that..."

She lightly thumps her palm against his chest, not enough to hurt, but to make him look up at her, "You don't have to protect me.  You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"

All he can do is nod, tears already beginning to escape from the corners of his eyes, but he does not allow his face to crumple.

"I do trust you... I think I need to work on expressing myself better."

"We both do.  We can learn together."

She lifts her hand to touch his cheek and stroke away the warm tears, heart aching as he turns his face more into her palm, pressing a kiss to her skin, murmuring that he was sorry over and over.

"Dan..."

"Mmhmm?"  

She slowly lowers her hand from his face, reaching for his own hand, interlacing their fingers together, holding them up between them while looking into his eyes with quiet intent.

"You feel this?"

"Yeah..."  He has his head lowered, staring down at their joined hands quite intently

"You can hold my hand anytime you want, in public, in private, wherever you want.  As long as you have my hand in yours, then everything will be okay.  I am not letting you go, Danny..."

"Baby..."

He squeezes that bit tighter, leaning his forehead against hers with a soft sigh.

She continues, "I know you're angry, and upset, but we can choose to rise above this or sink down to a level that is undeserving.  We can come through this..."

"Together?"

"Together."

He chuckles quietly, "I'm done with telling you that I'm sorry.  Let me show you now... let me make it up to you, please?"

Before she can even reply, he has ducked his head closer to gently kiss her, his curls tumbling in a soft cloud close to her face, ticking her cheeks as he tilts his head closer, deepening the kiss with a low groan in his chest and she leans closer, sliding her arms around his neck, responding with eagerness because she had truly missed him, and even the thought of losing him made her kissing more desperate.

Dan lets out another needy sound, his arms locking around her waist, leaning back and bringing her with him down onto the bed, shifting so she was draped across him, nudging his leg in between hers, his hips grinding up lazily against her.

Bracing her hands on either side of his head, she brushes light kisses across his face as he reaches up to tangle his hands in her hair, angling her head closer so he could kiss her again.

Just as their lips make contact again, her eyes flutter open and she lifts her head up and away, looking off to one side in deep thought.

Dan mumbles, quite bemused, “Baby... why’d you stop?”

She says quietly, “Wait... hold that thought."

She clambers off him, rolling over and hopping off the bed, darting just out of reach before he could catch hold of her again, only giving him a smile over her shoulder before returning to the living room to retrieve her phone, hearing him call out a 'Baby, come back'.

Sure enough, she returns in a matter of seconds, smoothing down her hair, sitting up on the bed with her back against the headboard, patting the space beside her.

"Here, come sit by me."

Dan tilts his head, completely perturbed, his hair mussed from her ruffling before complying with a groan, dragging himself up the bed towards her, "I'm getting so old..."

She shakes her head with a smile as he sits up beside her, folding his arms, "You look like someone with a crazy idea."

She gives him a patient look, "Just humour me, please?  I want to do this before we get too carried away.  Which can easily happen, as you well know."

Opening up the camera on her phone, she puts the screen to selfie mode, sliding down to rest back against the pillows, beckoning for him to do the same.

He sighs, sliding in beside her, and she moves in closer so her face was right beside his.

"Come on, take a picture with me."

Dan raises an eyebrow, "Ummm... why?"

"You'll see why.  Go on, give me a handsome smile."

Instead, Dan pulls a comical face with his nostrils flared and his eyes wide open.

She laughs at the sight, sticking her tongue out the corner of her mouth, snapping a quick photo.

"Alright... now be confused."

"Why?"

"It's improv and you’re a master at it, just trust me."

Dan makes an overly quizzical face as she touches her chin with her eyes looking to one side, taking another photo.

"Now be scared."

At first, he doesn't do anything, but then he gasps loudly, "There's a spider on your leg."

Just as she yelps, her thumb hits the shutter button and then he dissolves into laughter.  "Got you."

"You are the worst!"

Deciding to take him by surprise, she leans in and kisses his cheek, taking another photo as she does so.

"Meanie..."

"No, I'm not.  Now, once last one, and we're done."

"I'll make a normal face this time..."

"You can make any face you want."

True to his word, he smiles softly at the camera just as she reaches up to gently cup his cheek and tilt their heads closer together.

“That was a nice one.”

“Yeah.  Okay, now I am going to do some editing, so no peeking."

She turns over onto her side so Dan cannot see what she is doing, opening up the Layout app and putting the photos they just took together into a collage, saving the new image to her phone and setting it as her wallpaper.

When Dan attempts to lean over to investigate, she holds her phone close to her chest, "I said no peeking."

"But I want to see..."  He puts on a whining tone to his voice and pouts quite childishly.

She sighs fondly, "Such a kid.  Okay... here you go."

She hands her phone to Dan and he looks at the screen, letting out a jovial chuckle, "Wow.  That is awesome.  You look so pretty, and I do look attractive, especially in that one..."

He points to the one where they are both being threatened by the imaginary spider, and she giggles, "You always look handsome."

"Stop... you'll make me blush."  He acts extremely bashful, covering his eyes with both hands.

She smiles at this, prepared to lavish him with compliments to make him blush, instead tapping his shoulder so he can look at her, "So what I did this for and wanted to show you was that these pictures and these moments, they are what matters.  I know that it was upsetting to have someone invade our privacy in such a way, but we can't let it bring us down.  We can do what we like here in the privacy of our home, together.  It's not for public consumption, we won't be judged for it and I'm glad that you don't feel the need to want to post about everything."

Dan traces his fingertip along her jaw, his eyes soft, "Baby, I am far too old for all of that.  You know me and Instagram, I am just about getting the hang of it."

"Maybe I'll show you the animated filters someday..."

"I have no idea what those are."

"They're a lot of fun.  You can have a flower crown, be a cat or a bunny, or even have cool sunglasses."

Dan shakes his head with a smile, "As long as I can see your beautiful face every day, then I'll be happy."

"Really?"

"Really."

Blinking slowly, she reaches up to gently kiss his lips, drawing back a few inches, sharing his breath as she whispers, "And now?  Are you sure you only want to look at me?"

Dan's eyes light up with an unmistakable fire, and he leans in close, murmuring, "I want to do so much more than look at you..."

His hands sneak under her t-shirt, tracing a bold pattern on her skin, bunching the material upwards, his intention quite clear as he catches her lips in a clumsy, passionate kiss, rolling them over until he was covering her entire body, lifting her t-shirt free and flinging it to one side.

She cannot help the girlish giggle that bubbles up, running her hands down his chest, reaching down and fumbling with his belt even as he kisses her with a desperation that makes her heart ache.

In precious seconds, with their clothes discarded and the temperature surely rising with protection taken care of, Dan wastes no time in drawing her legs around his waist, shifting closer until he is gently sliding inside her, making her gasp quite loudly.

A moment where they share a look and another gentle kiss, and it would have been no surprise to anyone that she would gladly give her life for this man, without question.  

As Dan begins to move, the sensations already peaking and cresting so strongly, she leans down to kiss his shoulder, pressing her face against the side of his neck and burying her nose in his hair, when she hears him urgently whisper, "Baby... look at me... please, look at me..."

She draws back, her head landing back on the pillows, seeing the desperate passion in his eyes as he manages to get his words out between shallow breaths, "Don't... don't look away... keep looking at me... I want to see you... I want to see your face as we do this... I need to look in your eyes... you are so fucking beautiful..."

With that final word, he is moving that bit faster, pushing harder, and warmth pools in her belly at his words and the intense gaze he is casting her, "Oh... oh, Dan..."

He threads his fingers into her hair, leaning over her with his weight resting on his elbows, not an inch between them, tenderly keeping her in place so their eyes can stay fixed on each other.

"You feel so good, baby... so fucking good... I can't... I can't get enough of you..."

It is getting more difficult to keep her eyes from shutting in bliss, but she cannot look away from his intense expression, his soft curls hanging down like a thick mane around his face, his lips parted and eyes full of liquid warmth.

"Please... oh, please, like that... like that.  Yes... yes, love... don't stop, Danny, please don't stop..."

Inadvertently, she drags her nails down his back and he makes a strangled noise, his movements becoming more erratic, “So close... so... so close... I have you, come on, babygirl, I have you... come for me, come for me, my gorgeaus girl.  /Fuck/, I’m so close..."

The sound of his voice, the praise that he was giving her, the feeling of him so deep inside her, was all it took to send her spiralling into oblivion, waves of pulsing heat radiating from her centre.

"Oh... /Dan/... oh... oh, /Danny/!”

Dissolving into wordless cries, all she can do is try to keep her eyes open, looking up at him all the while as his forehead creases and he shudders as his own peak hits, thrusting once, twice more, her name a breathless moan.

The room is filled only with their combined breathing, as Dan collapses beside her, his hair tossed in her face, and she loosens her legs from around his waist, letting them fall outwards onto the bed, arching her spine as soft trembling aftershocks radiate through her entire body, gently rubbing his back and basking in this gentle afterglow.

"Oh... oh, my goodness..."

Dan's chuckle is low next to her ear, "My thoughts exactly, gorgeaus.  Wow..."

He stretches with a groan, reaching down to take care of the condom, deftly throwing it into the wastepaper basket in the corner of the room, before moving back beside her, immediately nuzzling into the crook of her neck, running his hand up and down her side, her nerve endings tingling at his touch.

She cradles his head close to her chest, gently running her fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp, hearing his purr of approval.

“Are you feeling better now?”

“Oh, so much better.  I mean... sex always makes me feel better, but I’m glad you talked to me, and convinced me to listen.  I’m an old man, baby.  I still have a lot to learn...”

She chuckles fondly, leaning down to kiss his forehead, “It will all be okay now.  I know it will be.”

Dan hums contentedly in reply.  “Hey, baby?”

“Yes?”

“Please send me that photo collage you made.  I’d like it as my background, too.”

“I will.”

A pause.

“I love you, Dan.  So much.”

Dan lifts his head, giving her a gentle smile, leaning in for a slow, lazy kiss that was so sweet that it brought tears to her eyes, “And I love you.  Don’t ever stop being you.”

Even while they were sleeping, their hands remain intertwined through the night.

[inferno-loop]

It Ain’t Me: Part 10 (I)

Jungkook x Reader ft. Yoongi

Request: Can you make a fake text about how bf hears a rumor about y/n and decides to break up without even knowing the true facts

Words: 2.4 K

Genre: Angst

Part 9 | Part 10 (II)

Check out my Masterlist!

Jungkook had barely gone to sleep when his cell came to life, ringing relentlessly to wake him up. He thought about ignoring it. Sleep didn’t come to him easy these days because a perpetual movie was playing in his mind since the day he found out about his sin. It started with the first time he had met you. 

He remembered being star struck as he ran his eyes all over you unconsciously in the fated get together of mutuals where he had first met you, trying to register all your features because god you were beautiful. An ethereal creature amongst meager men. He remembered the way your lips curved slightly as you savored the taste of bourbon. He remembered the way you swallowed the bitter whiskey quietly, paying no heed to the sexist jokes of the host, although he could tell they were getting on your bad side by the way your hand tightened around the crystal of poison. Oh, yes he remembered. He remembered the way you lashed out on the host, not being able to take the male chauvinism and the general approach of men sitting in the room objectifying women and how you had openly criticized the host and his ideologies, not shying away from calling him names that some people would definitely be talking about later. You dragged his ass right through his own party because that’s how you kept your environment neat. You weeded out the negativity. 

He remembered when he had followed you right out, not caring a dime about how that would look to people, and run after you to find you waiting for a taxi with your arms crossed across your chest in anger. He had somehow mustered up the courage to ask you to stay a little longer and you had agreed upon the condition that it would not be that party. So together you had gone to the café that was right across the street, the words BEER CAFÉ splintered across the front. It started with an acceptable beer and respectable introductions, your conversation but soon it turned into tequilas and guffaws and before he could blink, the night grew into day. At that moment, he had decided. He knew that he just had to get to know you more. 

So he did. 

One date turned into many, and many dates turned into a relationship. It was a quick decision, thoughtless and one he didn’t doubt, moving close to each other. 

The beer café became a sacred place; one you would visit every weekend. He would come over at your place and stay the nights more often than not. On some days you would make love, on other days it would just be an old school but an extremely satisfying movie night in that ended in sweet promises and cuddles. He loved you, he cherished you and you did so much more for him. 

Suddenly, the movie skips time. 

It comes right to the moment when Seulgi suddenly visited his house with a picture of you sprawled across the bed, a man hovering over you and both parties quite obviously naked. The world slipped from right under his legs. This…this wasn’t true. You would never do that. Ever. But Seulgi stopped him, there were more. She emptied out her bag on his bed, with more pictures than he could count on his fingers of you in various situations, in various positions, with various men, and each time your face was twisted in pleasure. He knew those expressions. You would make them for him when he pressed sweet kisses on your neck making you moan breathlessly, when his hands explored every inch of your body, finding a new weak spot every time which he exploited shamelessly making you bite down on him. When his mouth trailed your neck down to your sweet core and he devoured you, setting your body on fire. 

When he fucked you. 

That’s how you looked and he knew that look. But it was not for him. 

His vision went white as a tear and then two fell down his cheeks. Suddenly, everything felt pointless. Him running after you, that decision to move closer, those kisses, those dates. Everything had suddenly lost meaning because you didn’t love him like he loved you. 

Time skips again. 

You message him, leave voicemails, and try to contact him after he broke up with you but he won’t answer. He can’t. He sits and listens to your voicemails, and his heart feels like it’s playing tug of war and ripping itself apart when you cry and cry, asking for just one chance. One meeting to make him believe you. But how could he? Those pictures, those motherfucking pictures, were driving him insane. He felt mad all the time, he felt contempt towards you- who had failed to love him, so the next when he met Seulgi and she confessed her love, he didn’’t think twice before kissing her hard their teeth clashing together. He knew he was fucking up. He didn’t like Seulgi. He didn’t feel like his entire existence was for this kiss, like he felt with you. It was passionless, emotionless and pointless. But he would do it. 

He would hurt you like you hurt him. 

Two weeks of trying and your voicemails stopped coming. You stopped ringing him. You stopped texting him. You stopped trying to convince him. He fell into a new routine. A lifeless, senseless routine that he doesn’t care about. He made a girlfriend that he didn’t love. But at least he was doing the right thing. He couldn’t give in to his feelings for you. 

Once again, time kicks him hard and throws him into a new cut.

The café. You sitting with Yoongi. That was all and he saw red. You had forgotten about him. You couldn’t care less that he was still breaking apart everyday, you couldn’t care that he would wipe his tears all night thinking of you. You simply didn’t care. So he walked up to you and vented out. He called you names, humiliated you and broke you apart just like you had done to him. Surely, this would help him sleep better? It would help him accept the reality of the situation, it would make him accept himself. 

But your eyes. Your eyes were unflinching as you took a hit from his words. Somewhere in his ball of fury, your gaze became fiercer, breaking through his powerful image and hitting him right in the heart. You weren’t lying. He knew it. But how could he believe. So even as you fainted, he let Yoongi take you. He wouldn’t take a step, not until he had confirmed the truth. 

Another leap in time.

You were true. Your words were true. Your intentions were true. Your love was true. And he took too long to realize that. He made too many mistakes before realizing that.  After reading the exchange between you and Seulgi, a hazy blanket of hate had been lifted from his eyes in the harshest way possible. And dare he say he deserved it. Why should you ever come back to him? What reason did he give you? He knew he had destroyed an intimate connection between the two of you by repeatedly mistrusting you and to top it all, he even dated the person who had cooked up this recipe of destruction. He knew it all too well. However, he couldn’t stop himself from trying to reconcile with you. Like a shameless brat, he still wanted everything to be okay. He wanted the dread and guilt in his heart to be replaced by the love he felt for you. He wanted the harsh blankets covering him in the night to be replaced by your soothing touch. He wanted to call you. He wanted to take you in his arms and beg for your forgiveness on his knees again and again. 

And he tried. 

He tried to call you. He tried to text you. He visited your apartment. He even called Yoongi in hopes of finding any information, but he had received a cold response. He went to your workplace and waited there for hours on end to catch a glimpse of you but you never came out. 

You never came out because you didn’t work there anymore. 

You had all but vanished. Your number was not in service anymore. You had shifted out of your apartment. You didn’t visit the Beer café anymore. You had disappeared. He didn’t give up though. He thought of contacting your colleagues but realized he didn’t know anyone’s cell number. The revelation hit him like a bucket of ice-cold water. How could he not know anything about your colleagues? What if something happened to you at work and he couldn’t get in touch with you? Who would he call? Was he even in the position to blame Seulgi for anything when he didn’t even know something as simple as this? 

Each time he came to this conclusion, it connected to the beginning and the movie began all over again. Sleep was a luxury that he could not afford. His conscience wouldn’t let him get away with what he had put you through. 

That’s why when the phone rang incessantly, he was double minded about answering it. However, he turned around and brought it to his ear without paying attention to the called ID. 

“Hello?” He answered, unintentionally letting his tiredness seep into his voice. 

“We need to talk.” 

A jolt of electricity passed down his spine and his tiredness completely abandoned him. He immediately sat up straight, his senses on edge. He clutched his phone tighter in his hands and brought it closer to his ear to the point that he was sure there were going to be imprints on his skin. 

“___? ___, I’m so sorry-“ He began but your voice cut him sternly. 

“Jungkook. Look, I just need to talk to you, okay? Just tell me this, can I meet you right now?” 

Jungkook replied faster than a hurricane’s wind. “Yes. Yes, of course. Where do you want to meet me?” 

“At your house, if you’re okay with that of course.” 

He knew that he should have expected it but he couldn’t stop the dull pain growing his chest at the unfamiliarity you were expressing. You were cold and distant, like you were a stranger to his house. Like you hadn’t come there as much as he’d come to your old apartment. 

“Yes…” His voice slightly cracked and he cringed at the sound. He took a deep breath and steadied his voice. “Of course, you are welcome here anytime. You know it.” He said. He knew he was pushing his luck, pretending like nothing so bad had happened that it would stop you from coming over but it was all he could do. He couldn’t fathom you feeling like a stranger in house. 

There were a few seconds of silence on your part before you curtly replied. “Alright. I’ll see you in 30 minutes.” You hung up.

Jungkook removed the phone from his ears to look at it and despite your cold response, he couldn’t help the smile that was creeping up on his face. He kept the phone on his bed and hurried to clean his house before you arrived because it looked like a mess and he was sure it smelled worse. Oh god, he had to take a bath too. 

As he hurriedly moved around his house, cleaning up the mess all he could of was your call. You had called him. That meant something right? This had to be a chance. 

What else could it be?

Jungkook was ready. Thirty minutes had already passed since you had hung up and his house was as neat as it could be. The bed sheets were neatly plastered on the bed with minimal creases. The glass door facing the city was spotless and glistening with the orbs of lights emitting from the skyscrapers.  The wine was ready in cabinet but he daren’t take it out yet. He didn’t want to seem too at ease with the situation, which he really wasn’t, but if it came to that, he was ready to please you with some of your favorite wine. Double-checking everything for the 20th time, he nervously looked at the clock. 9:30 pm. You should be here anytime. 

As if it was a rehearsed play, his doorbell came to life. His heart almost leapt right out of his chest but he steadied himself speed walked to his front door, opening it with more haste than he intended, to find you standing in a black dress and a thin overcoat clearly not meant for the kind of chilly winds gracing the city from past few nights. You were paler than he remembered and slightly thinner.  You were frowning, and your lips were in pursed in a tight line. You cleared your throat, clearly unnerved by his shameless ogling but he couldn’t help himself, you looked as beautiful as the first day he had seen you. Just as ethereal. 

“May I come in?” You finally spoke up. 

The formality in your words cut through his heart like a knife. He swallowed, forced a smile on his face and that the feeling in his heart, the feeling that everything was going to go wrong was untrue. 

He took a deep breath and brightened the smile on his face. 

“Yes. Please come in.” 

To be continued…

Much love,

Inferno-loop

[fhujami]

You promised to come back. Epilogue. [Sam Drake/OC]

Pairings: Sam Drake x OC

Warnings: Swearing.

A/N: God I loved to write this story, this was kinda my second fic after ten years and first one in English. Thanks for the support and everything <3 

Tag: @missdictatorme <3

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Epilogue

EPILOGUE

I woke up in the middle of the night, and I realized that the mattress was wet. Shit, even I pissed myself or my water broke. I was about to get up but I felt burning pain in my stomach and I realized that my labor had started. I looked next to me, where Sam was laying on the bed his back at me. I placed my hand on his bare back and shook him gently.

“Honey.” I said, but he just mumbled something and took the blanket and hid under it.

“Honey I think my water broke.” I said and placed my hand on my stomach since there was painful contraction and whined from the pain.

Sam got up from the bed fast as lightning and he turned to look at me. It was a dime in the room but I saw how his eyes were wide open and his brown hair was messy front of his face.

“Are you sure?” He asked with a shrill voice. I tilted my head and looked at him. Yeah, like I haven’t been in this situation before. Well, he hasn’t but I had. I whine from the pain again.

“Aww shit, he have to go now.” I said to him. Sam panicked and walked around the bedroom and didn’t know what to do.

“Okay, okay, just, just stay calm.” He mumbled, brushing his hair with his hands, trying to figure out what to do.

“It is you who need to stay calm Sam, we need to go NOW!” I yelled at him and swung my legs off the edge of the bed, holding my stomach.

“Okay, okay.” He ran out of the bedroom and I heard him yelling at Jonathan and Oscar. Oscar had stayed at our place for a week, in case if we needed to go to the hospital. I sat on the edge of the bed and was about to stand up but the pain was getting worse.

Then I saw how lights went on and the three-man of my life stood in our bedroom. Three messy brown haired, shocked man, looking at me. I looked at them until I grinned and lowered my gaze. “Oh Jesus Christ.” I swore and held my big bump.

Oscar told Sam to get the bag and Jonathan to call to Nate and Elena. Then he came front of me and lowered himself down.

“How long?” He asked pointing how long was between contractions. I shook my head. I didn’t know how long but I knew not much. He asked if it was okay to look and I nod, and he raised my nightwear and immediately he raised his face back to me.

“Samuel?” He yelled, and I noticed little panic in his voice and horror in his eyes. Sam peaked to the bedroom with a bag on his hand.

“Call the ambulance, she’s coming now.” Oscar said without turning his gaze from me. My face paled and I started to panic. “What? Now? No, no, no, no.” I started to cry, everything was going too fast, she couldn’t come now. I cannot give birth into our bedroom, without painkillers and professionals. Yes, my brother was a nurse but he never had been in labor. What if there’s complications or something?

“Yes, she’s coming now. Sam call the fucking ambulance!” Oscar said and turned to yell at Sam who was panicking even more now when he realized that our daughter was about to born in our bedroom.

Jonathan run from the door and told that Nathan and Elena will meet us in the hospital.

“Call the ambulance and then call back at your uncle, we won’t have time to go to the hospital.” Oscar said and walked to the bathroom. Jonathan looked me with worries, but then turned to his phone and called 911, while Sam came sit next to me, rounding his hand over my shoulder. I felt his hands were shaking and his body was burning hot.

“Yes, this is Jonathan Drake calling, we need an ambulance, my mother is in labor.” I heard Jonathan saying on the phone and once again I was surprised how mature our sixteen-year-old son was. He didn’t panic, just with a calm voice told to the phone what was going on here.

I bend myself down when there was another contraction while Oscar came out of the bathroom with towels and water. He lowered himself in front of me while Sam was rubbing my back.

“Okay, we won’t push until it’s necessary, understood? Let’s wait for the ambulance as long as we could, okay?” Oscar said to me and I nodded. I heard Jonathan telling our address to the phone.

“Jesus Christ.” I cursed as I tried to hold myself for not to push, Sam grabbed my other hand and I squeezed it hard and he whined. “Hey that hurts.” Oscar and I gave him a look; seriously, that hurts? Sam immediately regret his words realizing the situation I was and lowered his gaze as an apologize.

I grinned again and laid down on my back to the mattress to avoid pushing. I heard Jonathan telling on the phone that his uncle was a nurse, and Oscar asked him to tell them to hurry up. Sam laid next to me, wiping a sweat out of my forehead, still holding my hand. I bent my head back on the mattress and screamed from the pain. I couldn’t believe what was happening.

“Okay, we need to start pushing. I need you to sit up.” Oscar demanded me and Sam helped me get up to sit. Jonathan told from the door that ambulance will be here in five minutes. Oscar told him to get on the street, leaving doors open, and calling Nate and Elena. As Jonathan ran outside of the bedroom, Oscar turned to look at me and Sam.

“Samuel, I need you to sat behind of Joanna and hold her.” I was tired and in pain, my whole body was burning and I wasn’t sure if I could do this. My nightwear was sweaty and I tried to breathe. Sam got behind me, leaving me sat between his legs on the edge of the bed. He lowered his chin on my shoulder and I leaned back to him. He took my hands and I entwined my fingers with his.

He whispered something to me, and I opened my eyes and looked at him in the corner of my eye.

“This is your fucking fault.” I felt how he smirked against my neck and said: “I think I’m only half the reason of this.” before he kissed my neck. I chuckled a little.

After Sam came back from the dead, and Drake brothers discovering Libertalia, Sam moved into our house. He slowly started to get used to the family life, that he has a son. Jonathan adored his father, he was happy that he finally had his father in his life. And Sam, oh god how much he loved Jonathan. Sometimes I found him in the middle of the night, standing his door, just looking his son sleeping. He was sad he couldn’t see him grow up, and he tried his hardest to catch up the lost time.

We got a small wedding six months after Libertalia. Nate, Elena, Sully, my brother Oscar and us. It was the second happiest day of my life, after Jonathan’s birth. Nobody didn’t know then, that I was two months pregnant on our wedding day. Not even Sam. And now here I was, giving birth in our bedroom.

I shook my head and felt another contraction coming and it interrupted my thoughts. I barely heard that Oscar told me to push. I pushed as hard as I just could, leaning back on my husband’s body, squeezing his hands as much as I just had strength, while Sam whispered in my ear calmly words.

Oscar told me to stop and I gasped my breath and tried steady my breath. Sam whispered my ear that I was the most wonderful women in the world, giving birth in our bedroom without any painkillers. I couldn’t help but smile before Oscar told me to push again and I leaned forward and pushed as hard as I just could. I embed my fingers into Sam’s, as I felt his warm breath on my neck.

When I finally leaned back on Sam’s chest, I felt relieved. I heard a baby crying. I had my eyes closed and I tried to catch my breath. I felt wet in my neck and I realized Sam was crying.

“She’s here.” He whispered and I opened my eyes, and Oscar had our beautiful daughter on his hands, wiping her and putting her inside a towel.

I felt a tear falling down on my cheek. Oscar handed our daughter and I finally left go on Sam’s hands as I reached to take my daughter in my arms. Sam rounded his hands around me so I wouldn’t fall. I took my daughter and looked at her as she was screaming, letting her lungs to catch her first breaths.

“Hello beautiful.” I whispered as I touched my daughter's face, she was the most beautiful creature in the world. Sam let go of me and carefully smoother her head. His hand was huge compared to our daughter’s head. And I was so happy that Sam could finally be part of this. He missed Jonathan’s birth, and now we were looking our newborn daughter.

I shushed and rocked her a little bit in my arms and she started to calm down. “She looks just like you.” Sam whispered to me, and kissed my neck and wiped his tears from his cheek on it.

That was when Jonathan and ambulance staff arrived at the room and I turned to look at Jonathan who stood in the doorway his eyes and mouth open.

“Come to meet your sister.” I asked him and he carefully steps closer, as the emergency staff came front of us starting to prepare us for the hospital. Jonathan walked to the front of us, and slowly reached his hand to smooth his little sister’s head.

“I’m going to protect you and take care of you.” He whispered to her, and I looked at him with proud, while tears rolled down my cheeks.

“Did you finally got one mind with the name?” He asked and chuckled.

I looked at Sam over my shoulder and I met his eyes. We have had many arguments about the name, and there was one name I started to love, when he was as stubborn as usual, only to bring it back over and over again.

“Avery.” I told and I saw how Sam’s pupils widened. He didn’t expect me to accept the name. I turned to look at our daughter again. 

Sam handed his finger to Avery and she grabbed it for the first time with her small fingers. I felt how Sam shivered behind me and he left a beautiful sigh from his lips before he said: “Hello little Avery. Welcome to Drake’s family.”

[theartist-duke-nise]

✌🏾Nise Lyfe Movie Part 1

Inspired By Real people, Real Relationships, and Fake Events

INTRO.

*Riding down the street, leaning on window smoking and driving. Credits go by. Flatbush zombies song Bumps. Phone rings, music stops*

Duke: hello??

Greg: Ayo Duke

Duke: Yo wuddup nigga

Greg: Aye bro, you got your strap??

*Duke looks down at cup holder* Duke: Always!

Greg: Listen bro, I need you to come pick me and Mark up rightnow and not ask me any questions.... you down or what??

Duke: .....................where you at??

Black screen

CHAPTER 1: The Story

Female Narrator:

Black Americans ...... Culture.... somehow, for the majority anyways, no matter how much money our parents had... no matter which City, State, neighborhood, or family you come from, our families all have things in common. Have you ever wondered about that?? I mean think about it. Somehow, weather your from Connecticut, New York, Florida, Texas, Cali, Virginia, Illinois, or the Carolinas, we all have fatal similarities without ever meeting or even knowing the same people. Our grandmothers have always told us things like "stop letting all my AC out the house, go fetch me a switch, come here baby, you know grandma loves her baby, stop running around my damn house, I'm praying for you baby" and that world famous, stand on the porch with the sun in her eyes and hands on her hips, wave to watch us drive off from her house. Grandmothers keep the world spinning!! They cook everything with love and have that magic hug and kiss that fuels us like a pump at a gas station. There is truely NOTHING like the love from an elderly women! .... for the majority

Then there are mothers and aunts. The rib of the family. Always putting on fronts when people come around. They can be both your biggest motivator and entagenizor, or both at the same time. They wake you up, get you dressed, feed you, and get you out to school on time day in and day out. They manage a very strict schedule and do it so amazingly. Weather they have a significant other or parental spousal support, they manage with grace and elegance. *Black mother cursing kids out* most of the time anyways.....

And then there are Black Men... the back bone that keeps America standing up straight. The shoulders in which a majority of Americas problems sit on. The brains behind more than 50% of American culture if you ask me. Now I'd like to break the idea if the black man down into 3 categories, which in my opinion isn't exactly fair, because I feel as if all black men share all 3 attributes if enticed to show them in the appropriate time or place.

The first... of-course the typical idealistic black man that Brainwashed America would imagine at first thought. The "GANGSTA". Smh.... typical... This man isn't a bad person. He does bad things from a normal perspective, but no worst than an unordinary American would do. Don't agree?? Well check this... the gangsta sells drugs to the public. Mostly addictive substances to keep his clients hooked, squeezing every silver dime and red penny that they can get out of said person before they either die or overdose.... sound formillior?? Kind of like a Doctor without the license. Cures for things like diabetes, HIV, high blood pressure, cancers, they have been around for years, but we all know there's no economic longevity in corporations curing people. The profits comes from sustaining their illness enough to giving temporary relief of symptoms but not enough to eraticate them. The goal is to keep them coming back..... I.E. "Drug Dealers. Plus ide imagine the "typical" black man would have a bad temper and ofcourse drinks Hennessy and smokes newports all day ".

The second we'll bring up is the "Baby Daddy". Unfortunately this is a legitimate cultural problem for OUR community. Weather the man stays in his child's life as much as anyone would like is besides the point. The biggest problem is that the babies are often made at a young age of the man in which he is not ready to instantly drop the childish antics and mentality at that very moment. Which brings the conflict between said man and the women enpregnated because as females tend to mature faster than males, she is usually raised with a specific image of what a man should be. Her immaturities sway her from being patient enough to help the father of her child to grow into the man he needs to be. The conflicted situation dominos into their split up in which the mother usually takes the custody of the youth, leaving the man to continue exactly where he left off before the pregnancy, living in his immaturities.

And lastly... the comeillian. He isn't a gangster or gangbanger, he doesn't accidentally enpregnate a female before he intends to. He typically is very comfortable being around anyone of any race, religion, or sexual preference. Mentally he feels as if he is a bit of an outcast. He typically has a bit of rebellion in his blood that people find ok, only because he regularly turns it on and off, depending on the environment he is in. I personally like to think of them as an untapped well just under the surface. The possibility of this person swaying into any job, place, environment is up to them. They're just waiting for the decision to be made.

Now on first instinct, Humanity has conditioned us to always look at things as 2 sided. Either right or wrong, good or bad, black or white. But I'm here to show you.... it's much deeper than that. Bad things happen to good people that make bad decisions with good intentions.

Chapter 2: the Team

*Duke pulls up to location, cuts off music, calls greg. Him and mark come out and fast walk to car. They dap up Duke and he pulls off.

Duke: so what niggas bout to do?? We got static??

Greg: nah, but first things first, niggas need to go get some weed. Pull up at Chris crib.

*Duke pulls out blunt and lights it.*

Mark: my nigga, hahaha

*Car pulls up at Chris's house. All three get out of car. Duke pulls gun from cup holder and tucks on waist. Flips shirt over and proceeds to door. SPECIAL KNOCK ON DOOR. Chris comes to door with chinky smile, holds hand out. All 3 greet and walk in. Greg and Mark pull out money hand to Chris and he walks to backroom of apartment. In living room, Dorcey is counting pills and bagging them up. Lean bottles as well as other known drugs cover table. Dorcey sees us and daps us up while still counting, trying not to loose count. All 3 sit down. Duke pulls out another blunt and sparks it.*

Duke: so bro, what's tha move?? Why I need strap.??

*Greg and Mark look at eachother*

Greg: go on and tell him about your boy.

Mark: aight, so me and this nigga was walking down the street by my crib, by the park and we smell weed in the air, so I look across the street and we see this tall ass nigga walking, smoking a blunt.

*Greg interrupts*

Greg: bro... that nigga was tall as shit.

Mark: word, so I yell out "that shit smell good bro" and he reply "I got that if you need it homie. Just got a pack in today."

*Dorcey stops counting and looks up

Dorcey: so y'all don't know this nigga from nowhere and he stay on yo block Mark??

Greg: aye bro, I ain't never even seen this nigga before and I use to stay out there too. Maby he just moved out there or something..

*Chris comes back and hands mark and greg their bags of weed and tosses a pack of backwoods on their laps, then takes a pack of papers out of his pocket and tosses that too. Chris says jokingly*

Chris: so we gona rob this nigga??

*chris cheeses hard*

Mark: ayo, can I finish tellin the fuckin story??

Dorcey: as long as you can roll up and talk at the same time.

*Duke shakes his head and grins*

Greg: so boom. Long story short, we ask the nigga to get us a 8th. He tells us to just walk to his house to get it with him..... bro. We walk in and this nigga has EVERYTHING!!! Coke, heron, Molly, pills, x, xans, liq, syrup....

*Dorcey and Duke both focus up

Duke ashes the blunt and passes it*

Duke: GTFOH

Dorcey: well what tha fuck we sittin here for?? Let's go get at that nigga.

Greg: see y'all niggas ain't letting us finish.... so we walk in and see all the drugs, then this big ass pit runs up.

Chris: that nigga jump on Mark?? You know that nigga smell like beef jerkey.

*Chris smiles hard again. Mark rolling the blunt looks up*

Mark: nah, they had this nigga on a leash..... INSIDE THE CRIB BRO. They had that nigga INSIDE THE CRIB bro!! Like a whole bear on a leash inside the crib bro. Like these niggas had the chain wrapped around the Middle of the piece of wood going from the ceiling to the floor in the living room b. I ain't gona lie bro. That nigga was big as fuck.

Duke: damn, so what happen next??

Greg: so boom. He tell the nigga to sit and he sit instantly. Not like Boosie.... OH SHIT!!! Yea bro, so his bowls are behind him and I peep a big bloody piece of meat in the bowl, so I ask dude, "ayo, that's steak and pepper you feed your dog?" aye bro.... nigga looks at me and says "Nah homie, that's a human kidney and gun powder on that shit. I bought it using Big Coins."

Chris: get the fuck out of here bro

Greg: swear to god bro. He said it's so that nigga don't mind killing and ripping a nigga apart. Shit was crazy but anyways, so boom we walk past the dog and I think that was his pops or his uncle in the back with his girl and a few more niggas. And we meet them niggas, chop it up for about 5 minutes but we end up only buying a blunt. We told him we wanted to see if it was some flame. It was so we told him we're gona go get some more money and be back to get more than a half.

Dorcey: aye bro, please tell me y'all tryna rob this nigga bro!!

Duke: nigga, ain't you JUST come home?? your still on supervised probation nigga.

Dorcey: and I'm ready to go back so what you sayin??

Mark: Aye look, me and greg already said we GATA hit that nigga so we down.

Chris: and I'm down. Sheed lost $600 last week when somebody stole her purse so I'm down. I need a come up cuz rents due next month.

Dorcey: so Duke, you got the whip so your driver.. and I know your klizzy ass got a few masks..

Duke: you already know

Dorcey: So what you gona do?? You down or what??

*Everyone freezes and stares at Duke. He hits the blunt, looks at it as he inhales, sits it in the ash trey and blows the smoke out. Duke takes gun from pants and drops it on table.*

Duke: we gona need some more heat...

CHAPTER 3: THE PLAN

Greg: aight, so it's a lock.

Duke: aye, I just have 1 condition.

Dorcey: NOOOO NIGGA, we not wearing no super hero masks. Lol, goof ass nigga

*everyone laughs except Duke. His face is stiff

Duke: chill... but first, nobody gets killed bro!! I ain't going down for murder!! Especially if my ass ain't squeezing a trigger.

Greg: FACTS!!! If it's our life or there's, that's one thing, but I can't do life. I got daughters nigga. I can live with 5-10 though. Can y'all??

Dorcey: word! I got a seed too nigga. I GATA be here for baby girl, but I need paper for baby girl too!

*everyone nods their heads agreeing*

Duke: good. And second. We need another car. Y'all niggas tweeked if y'all think I'm using MY car to hit a lick! Like y'all really bugged out on that!!

Dorcey: nigga, shut yo ass down! Just get a rental, or a zip car or sum shit. When we get close enough, we cover the plates and the.... got damn, what you call that shit on the car... like what kinda car it is?!?

Chris: the emblem

Dorcey: YEA!!! Just make sure it's a dark color...

Duke: aight, well before we jump the gun, let's really make a plan!! Ayo, Chris, you got some paper and pencil??

Mark: so y'all niggas about to write down our plan so the boys can find it?? Smh, dumb ass niggas

Duke: chill out string bean head ass... that's why we're writing it with paper and pencil. we destroy the papers the day before we hit tha jawn kuz by then, we'll have everything in our heads. This is just so we're on the same page. And another thing... don't be stupid enough to talk or text about this shit... like EVER!!!! AT ALL!!! Any discussion we have about this is in person, face to face only! Agreed?

*everyone nods again*

Duke: ok, now first things first. Mark, why tha fuck you still ain't finish rollin up and greg what you waitin to light that shit for?? You waiting on Jesus second coming?? Lml, but on a serious note now. How big was the crib??

*greg lights blunt, takes pull and passes it

Greg: what you mean??

Duke: like what kinda house was it?? Like a 2 story?? 1 story?? Trailer?? Town house?? What??

Mark: uhhhh. Townhouse... 2 story though...

Duke: aight, how many bedrooms??

Mark: idk, prolly 2-3...

Duke: and how many couches downstairs

Mark: 2... a small one and a big one... why does that matter??

Duke. Because nigga, 1 master bed room means a dope boy prolly keeps a bitch at his crib, plus the other 2 rooms means 1 person can live in each. That's 4 people that can live upstairs. Plus 1 person sleeping on the big couch. They prolly try to keep 2 or 3 people home at all times. We need to either wait until they all leave, which might never happen, or we can get everyone out of the house. Now New Years is in 2 weeks. No real niggas stay in the house on New Years! They're either outside selling drugs, tryna get em off, OR they're out partying, using drugs. That's when we get em.... plus Erica having some kinda party for New Years. I figure we all hit that shit first. Take a bunch of pictures, give her our phones, and I'll get her to text from them and post pictures every few minutes. Perfect alliby. We have pictures and texts as proof of where we are. Plus the location on our phones to verify.

Dorcey: damn nigga... how long you been waiting to rob somebody?? Nigga already have everything planned out!

Duke: nah bro. I'm just going with this shit. I ain't never caught a lick in my life. I'm just smart enough to pay attention to how people get caught and learn from there mistakes so I don't have to make my own.

*duke points to the top of his head*

Duke: 2 steps ahead bro.... Now, we can assign jobs... I say, Dorcey, you should be the one to see if you can get some more hammers. 1 damn sure ain't gona be safe, especially kuz ain't nobody holding my shit except me. My shit is registered...

Dorcey: say less

Duke: now... Greg and Chris, y'all take Chris's car back over to fuckboys crib, park far enough to where they won't notice you but don't be hot and spook the neighbors either. Last thing niggas need is the cops called on y'all to looking suspicious. Take this paper and a pen or something and write down what kinda traffic they have. home many people come in and out. How many are plucks and how many live there. How long they stay there and how long they leave before coming back. Which ones drive and get picked up. And what time people stop coming and going. That's prolly what time they sleep. And since greg is blind as fuck, Chris your gona be the eyes so take som carrots.

Greg: fuck you

Chris: carrots??

Duke: yea... good for eyesight. And greg, you just write down what you s..... well you write down what Chris sees. lol,

Greg: nigga fuck you. Give me the damn paper

*greg snatches paper from Duke

Duke: and me and Mark will pick up the clothes and masks. Here everyone write down shirt and pants sizes so we don't forget.... Everybody good??

*everyone agrees

Duke: good, now somebody help this nigga mark finish rollin up, kuz he's blowing mines.

Mark: nigga fuck up, I been done. Lol

Chapter 4: Dorcey

The next morning, Dorcey wakes up in his bed with naked female next to him sleep. He moves her hand off of him and tosses it, rolls over, and picks up his phone and sits on the edge of his bed stretching.

*Dorcey grabs bottle of Hennessy, and takes gulp. Then finds contact and calls

Kev: yo wuddup

Dorcey: Yooooooooo

Kev: wuddup fool?

Dorcey: aye bru, I need a few tools, niggas bout to build a bridge.

Kev: what kinda tools you need?? Wrenches or Drills??

Dorcey: nah , wrenches is good. It's more for emergency.

Kev: aight, you need more than 1??

Dorcey: I need 4

Kev: damn nigga! Fuck I look like?? Home Depot?? You need em for the keep or the rent??

Dorcey: the rent

Kev: for how long?

Dorcey: prolly just one night.

Kev: well this ain't no free ride homie. Ima need some collateral or sumn nigga.

*Dorcey thinks as he scans his room then stops when he locks onto the naked girls head in his bed*

Dorcey: I think I got sumn you'll like bru

Kev: aight, when you gona slide threw??

Dorcey: give me 2-3 hours bru

Kev: aight bet... just come around the back

Dorcey: aight bet

Dorcey and female walk threw cut into back of Kevs house trying not to step in dog shit. They knock on sliding back door. Kev walks up, peeps out back window with Rifel in hand.

Dorcey: yoooooo

*Kev sits gun on couch and unlocks screen door and opens. Dorcey and female walk in and close behind them.

Dorcey: aight Kev this MeeMee... MeeMee this my nigga Kev

Kev: what's up shorty??

MeeMee: hey

Dorcey: aight you can sit here for a minute. Watch out for the gun. And don't answer the door for nobody.

*Dorcey turns to Kev

Dorcey: aight, lemme see what you got bru.

Kev: aight bro, follow me

*they small talk as they walk to back room

Dorcey: yea bro that bitch ready..... Daaaaaammmmmmnnnnn.

*dorceys eyes wide and jaw drops

Dorcey: nigga..... what tha fuck you this strapped up for?? Nigga got enough guns to lock up the whole neighborhood! Every thing between 2'2s and 45s. Then machine guns, choppas, shotguns.. you got the double actions, single loads, pumps, twin barrels.... nigga got aks, m-14....ohh shit, tha m-16. Aye bro, you got tha baby K??

*kev smiles and points

Kev: yea right there by the rifles.

Dorcey: daaammmnnn, and you got the crazy ass monkey nuts. How much this bitch hold??

Kev: 200+1 in the chamber

Dorcey: this nigga said plus 1 in the chamber...

*Dorcey shakes his head*

Dorcey: but back to business. I can get 2 30's and a 9 and a pump?

Kev: gochu.. you need bullets and packs too??

Dorcey: yea. Just a clip for each tool and 7 or 8 shells for the pump.

Kev: ohh, y'all movin light huh??

Dorcey: yea bruh, hopefully we don't even GATA bust nun.. but better safe then sorry, na mean??

Kev: I feel you bro..... aye before you leave, you GATA check this shit my whiteboy just brought me.

*kev pops a lock on the dresser and takes out a RPG

Dorcey: a RPG?? Nigga, who tha fuck you got beef with?? North Korea??

*Kev smiles slyly

Kev: Better safe than sorry. Haha

Dorcey: heard you. But good looks bro.

*Kev packs guns into a bag that looks like it's used for a tent or something, then they dap eachother up and Dorcey walks out

Kev: good luck bro.

*Dorcey nods

Chapter 5: Greg & Chris

*Greg wakes up on couch, reaches on table for glasses. Get up and yawns. Knocks on Chris's door to wake up.

Chris: yea, I'm up

Greg: I can use the bathroom??

Chris: yea.

*greg uses bathroom, gets dressed. Knocks on Chris's door

Greg: you ready bro??

Chris: yea give me like 10 more minutes

Greg: aight

*greg sits on couch and lights clipped blunt and scrolls down twitter feed

*Chris comes out room and greg gets up passes blunt as the walk out house to car. They get into car and door closes. Drive to work playing music. Get out of car at work, dap eachother and walk away. *Cut To End Of Work Day*

Greg: wuddup bro??

Chris: what's up brooo??

*Chris cheeses hard

Greg: aye bro, you tryna head over to scope out that crib for a little before we go home??

Chris: yea bro, I don't care. But all the weed is at the house. You want to go get some first??

*Greg pulls jar from glove compartment

*chris cheeses hard and pulls off while greg rolls up.

Greg: so bro, I been thinking about how niggas gona split up all this shit.. or even, you know like... what if they sold everything by the time we get there??

Chris: yea bro, that would be fucked up, haha. But if they got that much stuff in their house, I doubt they would let it run out. Haha

Greg: yea, you right. But idk bro. I kinda got a bad feeling about this shit. I aint tryna jinx it or nun though.

Chris: bro, don't even think like that dude. Positive thoughts, positive vibes, you know??

Greg: yea, word... pass me the lighter

*they pull up at the end of the block.

Chris: oh shit bro, look

Greg: nigga, you know I can't see all the way down there.

Chris: ohh shit my bad bro, lol

Greg: what you see?

Chris: it's like 4 females outside

*greg starts writing on paper*

Chris: 6 cars in front. But there just standing at the car. Shit that's a really nice car bro. Ohh, wait... like 4 guys just walked out the house and got in the cars. They're pulling off now... duck down

*both duck down in seats. Greg blows smoke up

Greg: shit my bad

*both sit back up

Chris: aye bro, another car just pulled up.. it kinda looks like an über.

Greg: you sure it's an Über and not just a regular car??

Chris: we duhh it's a regular car, but it has an über sticker on the window and it's just siting outside with the car still running.

Greg: yea it's prolly an über

Chris: ok, now there's an older guy and an older chick getting in the über. And it's driving off in the opposite direction.

Greg: should we follow them??

Chris: fuck that!! I need to go home and take a shower. Get out these clothes.

Greg: it don't matter to me bro

*greg takes out his phone and called Duke

Duke: wuddup blacky??

Greg: ayo, we here now. Everybody just left the house I think.

Duke: You gona follow em to see where they go??

Greg: chris said fuck that..

Duke: exhale... y'all niggas kill me... but aight

Greg: aye, I ain't even driving

Duke: aight I'll halla at y'all niggas later

Greg: bet

*Car pulls off*

Chapter 6: Duke & Mark

*Duke is at 7-11 pumping gas. Cute women next to him pumping gas looks over and smiles. He finishes pumping his gas, puts cap on tank, gets phone out of car, cutting off music and walks around pump to her

Duke: excuse me, how are you doing today??

Lady: I'm fine.

Duke: well my names Duke. Um... would you mind if I help you pump your gas for you.

Lady: not at all

*she steps back and I squeeze the trigger of the gas pump. As I glance back I start at her feet. Pretty toes, red polish, red pumps, and long fitting red dress showing amazing curves. Going up to her amazing smile surrounded my red lipstick.

Duke: so I didn't get your name.

Lady: ohh, lol, my names Jazmine, with a Z... not a S

Duke: ok, very nice to meet you jazmine with a Z.... not an S... lol. You mind if I ask how old you are??

[royalkillabee-blog]

Forever Queen Bella Part I 

By: Brittany Chisem

Januaury 3, 2017

It was a cold winter day, when I noticed him looking my way. I thought to myself “What is this brother going to say?” He walked over to me as I was approaching my car and he said “Excuse me gorgeous, I couldn’t help to stare because you’re so flawless.” I exploded with laughter and asked him “Is that your pick up line sir?!” He said, “I had to make it rhyme for a woman who is more than a dime.” Lowkey, I thought his rhyming lines was kinda fly even though most women would’ve thought of it to be corny! “What’s your name pretty lady?” “My name is Bella and yours?” “I’m Andre but of course everyone calls me Dre.” “Well it’s nice to meet you Dre but I have to get going.” “Okay gorgeous, would you mind if I get your number so that I can call you and maybe take you out on a date?” Now, usually I don’t give out my number. Instead, I pretend to take theirs and keep it pushing. However, it was something eccentric about Dre that made me want to give him some play. I thought to myself and said “Sure, my number is 272-939-7722.” “Could I call you later?” “Yes, you can call me later.” “Iight, cool ma. It was nice meeting you.” “Nice meeting you too Dre.”

I got in my car and drove to Twan house. I couldn’t help but to think about Dre the whole ride to Twan’s place. Dre had to be at least 6’2”, with white teeth, waves swimming, and skin the color of a cup of dark-chocolate. He even smelled like a Macy’s catalog of the Gucci Guilty cologne. I was so busy thinking about Dre sexy self, that I almost didn’t even hear my phone ringing. I picked up on the last ring and heard a familiar voice on the other end. Hello, I said. “Hi, may I speak with Bella.” “This is she. May I ask whose calling?” “Yeah, it’s me, Dre.” “Oh, hi Dre.” “Bella, I know I literally just left from seeing you at the store, but I wanted to ask if you were free this evening? I’d love to take you out on a date, if that’s cool with you?” I was in awe. I just left the store a good 15-20 minutes ago from meeting him and Dre already wants to take me out. I wanted to say no only because I had been with Twan for three years and I didn’t want to be the one to break up our relationship by cheating. Then I had a quick flash back to the other day when Twan nearly broke my wrist when he tried to take his phone out of my hand to prevent me from reading those text between him and his ex. I quickly replied to Dre with a loud “YES!” He said, “Ok ma. I see that got you hype! Haha! Do you like The Cheesecake Factory?” “I love that place!” “Well it’s a date then. Would you like to meet at my place at 7:30?” “Sure, just send me the address. Oh and in case you’re crazy, I’ll have my father on stand-by!” “Haha, nah ma. I’m good. I just want to show a woman so fine a really good time.” There he goes again with that rhyming but he did sound sexy doing it! “Iight Dre, well I’ll be ready by 7:30.” “I’ll give you until 8:30. You know how y’all women take forever to get ready!”

Just as I was about to reply, my car door had flung open and Twan hopped in. I quickly said “I’ll call you back later!” Then I hung up and locked my screen. Twan looked at me with the evillest look he could give and then he finally asked, “Who were you on the phone with and what tf took you so long to get here?!” “Twan that was my mom calling me and I had to stop by the store to get some gas.” “Yeah right, it better not have been no other nigga or I’m going to kill you and him both.” “Twan, you’re crazy. Anyways, why are we in my car? I thought you were driving? Nah, my car just got dropped off to the shop to get this new chrome paint job plus you know my shit hot in these streets.” I hated when he did this to me. He knew exactly what he was doing when he had me drive almost 30 minutes from my house to his. Usually he picks me up when we go up to VA to make our run but today he wants me to drive. Something smells terribly fishy and I’m going to get to the bottom of it. “You know I hate driving. I’m always down to ride with and for you but why do I have to drive and on top of driving, I have to whip my car?” “Here you go again with all that whining and complaining. I’ll drive your car, damn ok?!” “You know what? How about you get your ex to drive since you care to keep her in your life!” SMACK!!! Just like that Twan’s hand went across my face, hitting me so hard that I felt a tear fall from my eye. Before I could think, I slapped his ass right back. We broke out into a huge Ike and Tina limo fight right in the front seat of my car. He stopped, got out of my car. I was thinking his dumb ass was leaving and going back inside. Instead, he walked over to my side of the car and pulled me and my keys out. He picked me up, locked my car doors and carried me back into his house. I was in shock I just sat there frozen in his arms, low key terrified of what he was about to do next. He flew open the front door and kicked it shut behind him. He threw me on the couch, pulled off his shirt and dropped his pants down. He pulled up my dress and started French kissing me in my mouth while he hands explored every inch of my frame. I couldn’t help but to feel like a weak little girl falling into her daddy’s arm after getting a whopping. I wrapped my legs around him and watched him make his way past my navel. He kissed kitty so good until he tasted all of her honey, that really aroused him. Then he slowly pushed himself inside of me until I felt him in my stomach. I screamed out to our father God, crying while he whispered how much he loved me in my ear. He picks up his pace and I could hear the honey splashing all over him. That drove him crazy! He picked me up and pinned me against the wall filling every inch of him inside of me. I melted in his arms. It was so good, even though how he treated me was so wrong. We screamed out each other’s names as we both released our tension on and in each other. We both fell hard to the floor, panting, trying to catch our breath. I looked him deep in the eye and asked him, “Twan, baby why do you feel the need to lie?” He looked back at me in a way I had never seen, he said “Bella, I lie because I love you and I only want to protect you from being hurt by the truth.” I quickly got up, even though my legs felt like Jello after he put it on me like that. I rushed over to the bathroom and freshened up. Twan started knocking on the door asking me to let him in. Go away Twan! Can I be in peace? Before I knew it, Twan crazy ass done broke through the door, came in trying to get more. Instead of giving in again, I slid past him, grabbed my keys off the couch and rushed to my car. I hopped in and sped off so quick, you would’ve thought the man was trying to kill me. I hit 80 the whole ride home.

Meanwhile, here is Twan blowing up my phone. I ignored his first three calls. By the fourth call, I answered on the fourth ring. “WHAT TWAN?” “Yo Bella, wtf baby. Why did you leave like that? Plus, you know that we got business to handle!” I thought long and hard before I made this final decision to say what I should’ve said three years ago. “Twan, baby you know I love you and I truly appreciate you. However, I really think that we need a break. I’m not saying for us to break up but just to give each other some time and space to think about what it is that we want to do.” “Look Bella, you are MY girl! MY GIRL! I’m the one who got your spoiled ass riding in that A7, living in that nice as penthouse, laced in the newest Chanel, Christian Louboutin, and Prada. Whenever your ass need something, I got you!!!” “See Twan, that’s your problem. You think because you lace me in material things that I’m supposed to allow you to treat me any kind of way. My love doesn’t cost a thing. You can have all of this back if that’s how you feel. Furthermore, I’ve said what I had to say. When you’re ready to make me your wife, then that’s when I will let you back into my life.” “Bel-”

Just like that I hung up the phone on his ass. I loved the hell out of Twan but I Knew our life was not destined for the best. I’ve been having the strangest feeling ever since we made our last run to VA for the work. I just pray that Twan gets out the game before it’s too late.

I finally pulled back up to my house in less than 30 minutes after speeding home from Twan’s house. I was emotionally drained. I snatched off all of my clothes and shoes. I poured a drink of Pineapple Ciroc and rolled me a Bob Marley blunt. I drank and puffed on my blunt, while I thought about why Twan was still in love with his ex and why he felt the need to try to keep me even though he wanted her back. I thought about Twan and that ho ass ex of his for so long that I didn’t even realize a whole hour and a half had gone by. My tub water had become ice cold and my heart felt numb. I drained the water out the tub, let the shower rinse me off before I finished bathing. I dried off and oiled up my entire body with coconut oil. I applied my makeup, curled my hair and slid on my tight red dress that showed off my Triple D breast. The way my booty pocked out the back, would make any man want to take a bite of the peach. I finished getting ready right at 8pm.

I grabbed my keys, purse and phone and started to head out the door, until I noticed Twan standing on the other side waiting for me to come out. My heart began to race and my stomach began to flutter. I thought to myself, “How long has he been out there and why didn’t he use his key?” Then I remembered I changed the locks on his ass after he pulled that stunt at the club with them clatchet hos. I decided to call Twan instead of opening the door, until I realized Twan had sent me 50 text messages and called me 50 times. Plus, Dre had called and text me once. I responded to Dre first telling him that I’d be on my way, then I proceeded to call Twan. “Yo, Bella baby…I’ve called and text you at least 100 times, I’ve knocked on your door and rang the doorbell. Baby, please talk to me….I don’t won’t to lose you let alone break up over the phone.” “Twan, baby my phone was on silent, that’s why I didn’t see you hundred calls and messages and we can talk when I get back home or tomorrow morning at brunch?” “So you’re telling me that you’re not home but you’re car is in the parking lot?” “Uh yes, I do have friends with cars Twan tf?” “Look Bella, I’ll be here to pick you up in the morning at 11. I love you baby and I promise to make it wo---” “I love you too, ok bye.” I hung up the phone so quick on his ass because Dre was beeping in. “Hi, Dre. I just seen your text with the address. I’m on the way.” “Ok gorgeous, I’ll see you soon.”I got in my car and drove to meet Dre. The whole time I was thinking how could I be in love with a drug dealer and catching feelings for another, when I’m interning with the top county  D.A.?

-----------------------------------------TO BE CONTINUED-------------------------------------------------

[arosegardenofstories-blog]

Project Churchill 3

Hey guys here’s chapter 3.  I’m planing on releasing chapters every Friday and posting videos every other Friday to address your comments or questions.  I Hope you guys like it.    

Chapter 3

"Seriously?" I asked him.  “What the hell made you think you could just break into my house?” He tilted his head toward the light, feigning a look of innocence. “Well,” he pressed his hands together, “I figured I could save you some time.”   I sighed as I pinched the bridge of my nose.  “James,” I say “You aren’t paying me anywhere near the amount you should be for me to be risking my life like I am; let alone having the nerve to break into my house when you please.” “We can discuss payment, as I think I have everything I need.” He paused, “Can I see the pictures you took this morning?” “Yeah just let me hook my camera up to my laptop.” I walked over to the desk and signed into my laptop, and pulled the camera out of my bag.  I could feel James come stand behind me as I inserted the cord into the USB port.  I opened the file of  pictures as James leans down to look at the screen over my shoulder; letting him look through all of them while he decided what which ones he wanted to keep. “You know Minna, you’re really good at what you do.  Did you ever consider photography?”   “No, solving crimes is practically engraved into my DNA.” I retorted dryly. “Even the petty ones?” I nodded, “Especially those.” We continued to flip through until he told me which ones to print.  As he walked over to the printer he asked, “Now, about your final payment…” “You know the rules James.”  I turned in my office chair to face him.  “I charge $500 upfront and the rest I’m paid by the hour and expenses, and honestly, I think today was pretty high on expenses.” “How much are we talking about?” “I think you would consider a thirty percent increase from the total wouldn’t be unreasonable.” I watched as his right eyebrow cocked up.  “Thirty?” “Life is a hard expense James,” I said coldly “It’s irreplaceable and today I almost lost mine just so you could get your blackmail material.” “True enough.  How about twenty percent that’s more than fair.” “Twenty-five.” “Twenty-three.” “Twenty-seven.  And I won’t settle for less.  You don’t get to wake me up at three o’clock in the morning, have me risk my life, and break into my house all in one day for twenty percent.” “Fine consider it done.” I watched as he effortlessly walked toward my desk and sat on the opposite side.  I reached down to one of the draws and pulled out his hanging folder and placed it on the desk.  I went through it and find the payment agreement he signed and my recites for all my expenses, along with the normal pay stub.  I quickly factored in the twenty-seven percent increase and pushed the documents toward him.   “Here are the documents we agreed on and the total cost of everything, including the twenty-seven percent bonus.”  I circled all the import information as he pulls out his checkbook.   “Make it out to Lina Anderson.” He looks up at me questioning, “I don’t like to have any connection to my clients after a job.” I explain. He nodded and went back to writing. He finishes looking down. “That’s a lot of zeros.” “And it’s worth every dime.”   I said as I took the check from his outstretched hand.   I looked through the folder and pull out the NDA I have all my clients sign at the end of a job.  “You can either sign this now or have your lawyer look over it and send it to me latter.  Its just a basic NDA saying that you won’t expose anything confidential about my business and the business we shared during the job.” “Isn’t that being a little paranoid?” “I like to be safe rather than sorry.” He sighed as he scrawls his name and initials onto the document.  Pushing it toward me he stood,  hand poised to shake mine; I took it firmly. “It’s been a pleasure Ms. Churchill.” “Same to you Mr. Easton, for the most part.” I walked him to the door and watch as he walks down the street and turns the corner leading him out of my life.  I closed the door and lean on it, letting the lack of adrenaline come over me.  I dragged myself up the stairs and flopped on my bed.  Another case closed, another nap calling my name.

I woke up to a cacophony of distinct but distorted sounds.  I could hear my phone ringing next to my ear, someone banging on the door, and someone possibly Maurice, the neighborhood junkie, wailing outside.  God,  why can’t people just leave me alone today.  I stretched my arm out to grab my phone and saw that the time read 12:30 and that Chloe was calling me.  Hell that’s the longest I’ve slept in a long time. I answered, clearing my throat, trying to get the sense of sleepiness out of my voice. “Hello?” I gruffed. Chloe responded with her normal bubbly, “Hey Mimi!” I rolled my eyes at the childhood nickname. “What’s up?” I asked as I walked down the steps to get the door. “Are we still on for today?”  Her question made me pause on the steps. “On for what?” “It’s Friday silly.  Remember we’re supposed to do lunch, the mall, a sleepover, the works!” “Oh yeah,” I say as I continued down the steps, crossing across the room to the door. “You won’t believe what happened to me on the last job.”  I started to open the door not bothering to look through the peep hole; knowing that it’s probably Maurice coming to ask me to point him in the direction of his house....again.  I opened the door to find Glinda Easton in all her glory, and her trusty sidekick John as Chloe excitedly exclaims, “Oooh spill!” As I try to close the door John pushes his hand against it, forcing it to stay open. “Um Chlo, Imma have to call you back.”

My heart was racing as I sat in my office chair across from Glinda and John was standing guard at the door.  I tried to get my breathing under control.  I raised my head to speak. “How did you find me?” My voice came out more breathy than I wanted it too.   Glinda crossed her right leg over the left.  She looked elegant in her ivory colored tailored pant suit.  Her posture was perfect as she straightened her jacket. “Well dear,” she cooed “you don’t necessarily drive a popular car.  And of course John got your license plate.  After that it was only a matter of tracking you through the DMV.” I briefly turned to look at John, wondering if I could out run him to the backdoor of the house.  The sound of Glinda’s voice caused me to turn back around. “Don’t think about escape.  John’s brother Rob is at the backdoor.” Damn.  If one thing is for sure, Glinda Easton knew how to do security. “What do you want?” I asked impatiently.  Seriously I’m getting tired of everyone interrupting my day.   I watched as Glinda tilted her face into the light.  I noticed that her face looks unnaturally smooth for a woman of her age, she’s definitely had some work done; and a lot of it by the looks of her face. “Minna you and I are both smart capable women; let’s not waste time by running about the bush. “Fine,” I retorted “I’ll bite.  You’re mad that I caught you and your lover boy in the parking garage.” Glinda smiled.  “I knew you were a smart girl.” “But what do you want?” “Isn’t it obvious?” she paused “I want you to give me the reaming photos you have and delete the digital copies.” “I can’t.” “Excuse me?” She looked surprised. “I gave the print copies to your husband and I can’t give you the digital copies.” “Can’t or won’t?” “Both.  I’ve signed an NDA with your husband explaining that I won’t share any of the photos with anyone other than him.  So even if I wanted to give them to you I can’t.” “But I’m his wife. Surely there’s something that can be done to-” “From my understanding  Glinda, your marriage with James is over and you’re the only one refusing to sign the divorce papers.  Why because you’re prenup will leave you in the middle class with the rest of us instead of the polished throne you’re used to?” I watched Glinda’s mouth as she tried to form words.  Her lips moved but no sound comes out.  From the looks of it she didn’t think I know how to do my job thoroughly.   “Did you really James wouldn’t disclose the full details of your relationships?” “No.” Glinda cried, her voice returning to her.  “But I-” "James provided me with everything, before taking this case."I reach down into one of the draws to get the Easton file.  I heard John rush forward trying to stop me.  I turn my chair towards him. “Relax Hercules.” I ordered. “I’m just getting a file to show Her Majesty.” I pulled the file out the draw, and pushed it toward her.   “The top is a summary of the prenup between you and James.” I looked at Glinda as she read. “I have a question for you Glinda.  Why ruin a perfectly good marriage for a boy that’s young enough to be your son?”   She looked up through her lashes. “James and I have always had different tastes especially in old age.  I needed something new.” “And you thought that Liam would be enough to spice things up?” I thought about her motives for this whole affair while she looks at the invisible hole between her feet.  This woman ruined her marriage for a man, who honestly still qualifies as a boy just to spice up her marriage?  That didn’t make sense.  I thought about the possibilities.  Maybe she wanted revenge for something James did, maybe she was looking for an excuse to end her marriage, and maybe and most likely, she has some type of fetish for younger men.  A sudden thought strikes me and I realize that I don’t care either way.  I want her out of my house and for everyone else to leave me alone today.   “Glinda,” I said; pulling her out of her imagination, “I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” “Not until I get what I came for.” This whole day has been a pain in the ass.  I’ve had terrible nightmares,  had to work before day break, have been shot at, and had my house broken into.  I’m really not in the mood for this.  I stood up, towering over Glinda, hoping to play out the difference of the power levels between us correctly. “Glinda, I don’t have the energy for this.  I need you and your sidekicks to get out of my house and leave me alone. Now.” “Fine.” I watched her as she picked up her purse and strode over to John.  Turning over her shoulder she said, “This isn’t over Churchill.” “Actually, Glinda I think it is.  You are one of the forefront minds in psychology correct?”  She paused at the door, clutching her purse to her chest.   “What does that have to do with-” “Glinda, I may not be on good terms with Baltimore City Police right now, but they do owe me a couple of favors.” “What are you-” “I’m sure they would love to see the bank records, videos, and pictures of you and your patients.  Especially the pictures.” She moved her lips, looking like a gaping fish while trying to form the right words. “I take it that you won’t be coming around here again, and James won’t have any trouble finalizing the divorce papers?” She nodded and turned to John.  He opened the door for her and followed behind her; leaving my door still open.  I walk over and close it and tried to pull myself together before Chloe came to pick me up.  

[canyouhearthechurchbellsringing]

#41: As Close to the Truth About Ali as I'm Going to Get

01/28/17

     FTP: I was actually just rereading entry #7 again before I sat down to upload this one. As I have repeatedly expressed from the start, the original entries do not accurately depict the events they portrayed. Honestly I’m more embarassed I let myself fall into the trap Darek set for me. It seems things have been… reversed, in a sense, now… but you’ll understand once it is all up.

08/28/16

           I’m typing this up at the library and saving it to a flash drive I’ll be carrying with me. It’s a half-hour walk here in the hot Florida sun, so I don’t know how often I can work on it, but at least I’ll have the records again. And if I can’t easily write, Darek can’t easily edit. Unfortunately that hasn’t stopped him from screwing with my head. If nothing else, I will be able to record the basics of what I go through as I struggle to discover what has happened these past few months. Once I’m more situated with better web access, I can proceed to flesh out the notes I’ve taken into complete entries. Writing has always been a helpful tool to sort out my mind, especially in times of duress like this where I desperately need to focus on priorities.

08/24/16           

           I remembered the doorway.

           The memories were not malleable. They existed in the peripheral, and vanished when put into focus. Still, its significance acted as a magnetic attraction of sorts, such that it filled me with desire. Secrets, answers, rationalizations for the reason I was so crazy, things inside my mind hidden from itself, all existed beyond the doorway. I’d been there, maybe, but I just couldn’t remember anything behind that damn door.

           Then hands reached down and yanked me from my slumber. I jerked into my body haphazardly, in a state of nothing but sensations. Darkness veiled my eyes, a blanket smothered my body, and a distant hum tickled my ears, suggesting electrical appliances. For a moment I felt as though this was the Outer Layer and I was finally beyond the door. First impressions are everything, and let’s just say this one felt to me like another one of Darek’s nightmares-constricted, deprived of sight and sound in a hellish, pressing heat.

           I groaned, surprised at how raspy my voice sounded. At least it broke the trance of the whirring appliances; I could hear just fine. I could also feel my body, reassuring me that this was not a dream. I felt liquid pouring from my pores en masse. I wasn’t just sweaty; I was soaked. I tried to uncurl my body from the cocoon of blankets that weighed me down mightily. The effort was in vain. They denied me freedom, all tied and twisted in one another. I reconsidered my suspicion that this was a lucid nightmare, but something in me whispered the idea away. It wasn’t Darek’s voice. It could have been. He can imitate anyone’s voice where he is, be anything my mind can perceive. And as I’m thinking all this and growing paranoid, I’m hyper-aware of the bead of sweat trickling down my left cheek. I let out an exasperated exhale and found it bounced back into my chin. I groaned.

           I focused on myself meditatively. I took stock of each of my arms’ positions, bent at the elbow, across my chest. I tried sliding an arm upwards toward my head. It met no resistance. I smiled to myself in the dark. It was a human-sized Chinese finger trap. My hand slid up my throat, over my shoulder, and came fully free, snaking up the right side of my head.

           From there it was a simple matter of freeing myself from the trap, feeling along the seams and separating the ungodly amount of blankets carefully and calmly. By that time, of course, my panic had fled and my eyes had adjusted to the dark a bit. I seemed to be in a small room with a bed and some decorative furniture. On my left was an A/C unit which had been the source of the electrical buzzing. I immediately lowered the temperature several degrees. On my right I discovered a bedside table with a lamp on it. Illuminating the room, I saw for the first time a TV across from the bed and a small kitchen area in the back. I was a long way from home.

           This is where things got interesting. Beside this lamp I found an index card with writing on it. WELCOME TO YOUR NEW HOUSE. On the lined side, a second message: PREPARE TO HEAR FROM AN OLD FRIEND HAHAHAHAHAHA. In the center of that he had added half a set of coordinates.

WEST 80 16  11.4954

           The illusion of the nightmare fell upon me again, harder, as my grasp on reality unraveled. Harder and harder it became to fight off the cloying certainty that this was nothing but a dream, another hallucinatory delusion where I made my home, but it was too visceral. The canonity of it stood stalwart against my hopeful barrage.

           I didn’t know what happened in the past few months, wasn’t sure ho much time had been taken from me, but I was able to grasp that I had been yanked out of my home and removed from everything familiar by an ambiguous, intimidating being living in a realm beyond imagination. I stepped out of the motel room. It was no paradise but at least it had cable. Looking down on the street below, I gathered myself. Occasionally, a car would drive by, breaking the silence of the night. My mind latched onto the sound of the cars passing, seeking peace in disorder.

           I didn’t know what had happened. I didn’t know what was going to come. I knew I needed to do anything I could, talk to everyone I knew, to figure out what Darek did in the past six or so months. However, it looked like it was the dead of night at the moment, and I did not want to start this journey at three in the morning. Aside from that, I was strangely drained in spite of the bizarre circumstances I found myself in. It felt like I had been awake for a couple days. For all I knew my body had been. I reentered my room after a short period and delved into a dreamless sleep.

           The first thing I did upon waking, finding the sun fully risen, was take an inventory of what I had. There were suitcases full of clothes in the corner. The fridge was stocked with plenty of food. There were even a few fantasy novels stacked on the toilet. Darek’s little note sat mocking me on the table. Beside it I had placed the contents of my pocket. This amounted to a wallet and a phone, both of which I did not recognize, as well as thirty six cents (one quarter, one dime, and one penny).

           The wallet contained my driver’s license, my college ID (long-since unused and ripe with the scuffs of age), an EBT food stamps card (explaining the stocked fridge), a library card, and six one-dollar bills. I checked the license and it listed my parents’ old address despite looking brand-new. It was replaced during my fugue but held no pertinent info on where I had been or what Darek had done.The wallet looked ratty and worn out. There were a few tears along the edges; nothing else about it struck me as relevant or unusual.

           The phone was one of those cheap-looking Verizon phones. It had 266.04 minutes on it and 368 service days left on it. The background was a plain black screen After unlocking the screen I immediately checked my contacts list. I recognized Casey’s number right away nder the name “Stupid Fucking Bitch”; Darek clearly wasn’t fond of her. I tried calling but the number was out of service. There were several names and numbers I did not recognize, such as “J” and “Mike Herb”. If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say they were drug connects. The only other numbers in the phone that drew my attention were one marked “Baby” (Darek had a girlfriend?) and a weird string of numbers that couldn’t be a local phone number saved under “K” (2622946016). Aside from the contacts, the storage on the device contained default images and ringtones. I also discovered an installed Twitter app. Darek had apparently made an account in my name on July 27th. I made a few posts but I suspect he has his own plans for it, so I don’t intend to use it for conventional social interaction. The phone didn’t have any of my family members’ numbers or any others I recognized. I was wary about using any of the contacts I didn’t personally know to hunt down information. I would save it as a last resort. From the calendar I learned it was the twenty-fourth of August. A solid half a year had gone by in the blink of an eye.

           I had to take a walk after learning that to clear my head. The whole time Darek was humming a song I recognized from the radio by Bob Seger. Maybe just because it was Darek it really unsettled me. Maybe it was everything else on top of it. Whatever the root of my jumpiness, I nearly leapt out of my skin when my phone started ringing in my pocket. Of course the ringtone was the same song. I pulled it out of my pocket. The caller ID said “Baby.” Warily, I pressed the green button.

           "Hello?“

           "Hey babe. How are you?”

           A couple of things happened simultaneously. Shocked by the voice on the other end, I let the phone slip right out of my hand. As that was going on, Darek started laughing. I guess he found some humor in my reaction. I honestly did not expect to hear the voice of a dead girl on the line.

           Distantly, in the background, her voice echoed from the phone. “Hello? Are you okay?” Numbly, I groped for the device, my universe turned upside down.

           "This can’t be real.“ I whispered. “You can’t be real.”

           Confused herself, she responded. “What are you talking about Darek?” Hearing that, his laughter only grew in intensity. I was stunned into silence for a moment. Finally, my mouth remembered how to form syllables and I spoke.

           "What did you just call me?“

           Cautious and confused, she responded. "Darek? Oh…. oh. Oh God. Mat, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know—”

           "What?“ I snapped. "Didn’t know I wasn’t your boyfriend? Well I didn’t know you were even alive, so whatever!”

           "What are you talking about?“

           The memory rose, vague and fuzzy. It seemed everything from before that lengthy slumber was hazy and unclear. Still, the rush of wind, the blaring horn, the stark cold terror came as easily as an old friend. "My logs?” I managed weakly. “The third or fourth one where I pushed you in front of a moving vehicle…”

           Darek’s laughter had subsided, but that comment brought it back on in the distant recesses of my head, a light snicker at some humor I couldn’t perceive through my grand confusion.

           "You mean Halloween?“ Ali said, understanding dawning in her tone. "When we had that huge fight and stopped talking… I thought you’d never want to see me again… then Darek started talking to me online, and it was kind of like having my best friend back.”

           "Sounded to me like the two of you were a little more than best friends.“

           Vividly, clearly, I relived that fateful night again. This time, as I screamed at Ali, I saw her burst into tears, turn, and run off down the sidewalk. The truck passed by, the wind picking up my hair. Nobody died. Nothing else happened. Memory troubles? Darek cooed from my subconscious. Ain’t that a pain?

           "Look,” Ali began unsteadily, “I was really lonely and he was there for me. It just sort of… happened. It was as natural as breathing.”

           Silence followed. A gnawing question beat at my mental processes as I tried to digest the situation. “Were you in love with him?” I finally asked.

           She paused, considering her answer. “Mat… I am in love with him. And you. I love every part of you.” The hot Florida sun beat down overhead as I walked down the street. It all seemed unreal. Here was a girl I thought was dead telling me she was in love with someone who didn’t technically exist. Here was a girl I thought was dead who was now my only hint as to what happened over the past several months. It was too much to take.

           "No.“ I managed numbly. "Do not do this to me. No, not you, please. Ali, anyone but you.”

           "I’m sorry!“ She cried. "I’m so sorry!”

           "That doesn’t change a thing. Everyone’s sorry.“ And it was true. In fact it was something Darek was fond of saying. If human beings were any one thing, it was certainly sorry. The whole lot of them were a sorry excuse for living things.

           "So…” she paused, searching for the right words. “Is our relationship over now?”

           "As far as I’m concerned,“ I answered coldly, "it never started.” Part of me was happy to know she was alive. But mostly I just knew that I didn’t want her to have any misconceptions about my feelings. I had to be cold and direct. Her silence still made me feel guilty and wicked. I could sense Darek basking in the dark emotions dancing around my head.

           "Look, I just—” I began.

           She cut me off before I could explain. “It’s okay! He told me from day one that it was only a temporary arrangement.”

           The defeated way she said that made me feel like, despite it, she hoped it would have been permanent. “I just… I’m sorry.” There. I said it. “A chunk of my life is missing and I’m desperate to fill it. To understand. Why am I in some random motel? How?”

           "I can help you.“ She answered. “But only in the ways he permitted.”

           "Oh God.“ I couldn’t help it. "The psycho you fell in love with gave you rules?”

           "… don’t make it sound like that.“

           I sighed. Any information was better than none. "What CAN you tell me?”

           "I have logs.“ She said. "They’re on a flash drive. He told me to send them to you when you… woke up. Supposedly they’re accounts of your time on the Outer Layer.”

           The Outer Layer again. Of course. I wasn’t nowhere while Darek was wreaking havoc with my body. I must have been spending my time in the place beyond the doorway. This was the first bit of good news I’d had since waking up and I was eager to pursue it.

           "When can you get them to me?“

           "Someone’s excited.”

           I almost laughed at that. Almost. “Try desperate and confused.”

           That elicited a giggle from her end of the line.  Between the burning sun and the warm phone against my ear, I was starting to feel pretty hot. Noticing a clump of trees, I proceeded to stop and sit in the shade to cool off a bit.

           "Okay, look,“ she said, "I’ll send you what I have ASAP. I’ll send it via eMail. You still have that gMail account, right? Just… sit tight.”

           I was already doing that, so it didn’t seem like an impossible request. On a whim, I decided to ask another question. “I don’t suppose you know anything else about my life in the past several months, do you?”

           "Sorry,“ she answered lamely. "When I saw you, I had, um… other things on my mind…”

           I shuddered to think what she could be referring to. “It’s… okay.”

           "You sure?“

           I wasn’t. "As okay as it’s going to get. Thanks, Ali.”

           "If you need anything…“

           "I know.” I hung up and lay back in the grass as cars zoomed by and the world continued to turn. I had a sneaking suspicion this was not the last of Darek’s little surprises. I did not look forward to finding more startling truths out, but I knew I couldn’t just let time waste away. I had a lot of work to do if I wanted any semblance of a normal life back.

           I began my trek again in time. Thoughts tumbled around discordantly between Darek and Ali and myself. He played the voices that weren’t my own.

           I am in love with him. And you. I love every part of you.

           No, Ali, please, don’t do this to me. Anyone but you.

           It’s okay! He told me from day one it was only a temporary arrangement…

           A few incessant loops of that and I found myself at the library. I already had a card so it was a simple matter to make a computer reservation. Immediately upon accessing a library computer, I looked up gMail.

           I tried to open gMail up, but, for whatever reason, the library internet insisted it was inapporriate for a public setting. That just pissed me off. I left the library angry and sick, not looking forward to a long and thought-laden walk home.