#words are mine haha B)

[afflatusssss]

It was the weight of guilt that sent Icarus crashing down a second time; he wondered if he was always destined to be punished for loving something brighter than himself, even in death.

[peachiejeongin]

hello you magnificent human being.

I see your requests are open and I’m always ready to send my ideas to capable writers haha

so: Seungmin + angsty angst + redemption + happy ending (bc I’m a weak and unstable bitch)

reader is pregnant, at the beginning maybe she knows, maybe not. Seungmin is having some existencial crisis (maybe he feels like he���s not living he’s youth as he should), gets distant, neglecting his relationship. he cheats on reader (maybe not, and it only looks like it), reader finds out, confronts him, he says some really mean words about her, the relationship, the baby. maybe (I know, tons of maybes, I have ideas but also want to give you freedom to write whatever you want! hahaha) he implies he doesn’t want the baby or mentions something about an abortion?

however the reader reacts, what he does after, the redemption and else is up to u.

I hope you like the idea as much as I do. happy writing🧚🏼‍♀️

Fractured Foundations | Seungmin

Synopsis: When secrets flow and hearts break during an argument, you are left wondering why you entered into this relationship.

Pairing: bf!Seungmin x fem!reader

Genre: Angst. So. Much. Angst. (But a fluffy ending!)

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of drinking, implied cheating (he does not), arguing, mentions of Seungmin not wanting the baby, break-up This is a pretty triggering fiction, so if you need to skip this one, please feel free to!

Notice: No, I did not sob my eyes out while I was writing this; what are you referring to?! Nevertheless, my darling! Your suggestion is out of this world, and it broke my heart just reading it! The only thing I did not include was the idea of abortion just due to some past experiences of mine and because the topic is insanely controversial; however, I hope you enjoy the story all the same ! As I stated in the warnings, this fiction is one that is more on the triggering side, so please feel free to skip out on reading if you need to :)

The apartment felt cold, even with the heater on full blast. You sat curled up on the couch, a half-forgotten mug of hot chocolate cooling in your hands; your eyes were fixated on the little plastic stick on the coffee table. The two faint lines stared back at you, blurring slightly through your tears.

You should have been happy; this is what you have been dreaming of for so long - to start a family and have a minature you running around the house. Yet, all you could feel was an ache deep in your heart - one that had been festering for weeks.

Seungmin had not been the same lately, and you could sense it. He was not the boy who used to hold your hand under the table at crowded restaurants or sneak kisses when he thought nobody was looking. He was not the man who used to talk about the future like he could not wait to spend every moment of it with you. He was not the man who shared your dream of settling down and beginning a family of your own.

These days, he came home late, smelling like a mix of winter air, cigarettes, alcohol, and someone else's perfume. He did not touch you like he used to, and he did not look at you with the love he had once felt if he even made the effort to glance your way at all.

You tightened your grip on the mug, the ceramic bearing into your palms. The words you had practiced in your head over and over felt heavy in your throat.

How do you tell somebody you love that you are carrying their child when you are not even for certain that they still want you?

The sound of the door unlocking snapped you out of your consuming thoughts. You wiped at your face quickly as Seungmin stepped inside, his shoulders stiff and his expression unreadable.

"You're home," you commented softly, forcing a smile.

"Yep," he muttered, kicking off his shoes without looking at you. He walked past the couch, heading straight for the bedroom.

"Seungmin?" Your voice cracked slightly, and you hated how desperate it sounded. "Can we talk?"

"I'm tired," he stated as he stalled in the doorway, his back still turned to you. "Can it wait 'til tomorrow?"

"I don't think it can." You swallowed the lump in your throat, your fingers trembling against the cooling mug.

He turned then, his face annoyed and his eyes carrying a sharp, distant stare.

"What is it?"

The words were right there, ready to spill out. Yet, as you looked at him - the man you used to know better than he knew himself - you doubled down.

"I..." you hesitated, suddenly unsure. "I just want to make sure you're okay. You've been pretty distant lately."

Seungmin sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"I'm fine," he replied. "Just stressed."

"About what?" you pressed gently.

"Work. Life. Everything and anything." He glanced at you then, his tone hardening. "And I certainly don't need you breathing down my neck right now, so just drop this."

Your stomach twisted, a painful knot forming in your chest. You wanted to cry, to scream, to break down and tell him everything. Instead, you nodded, your barely audible voice mumbling an, "Okay."

Seungmin disappeared into the bedroom, leaving you alone in silence.

For the first time, you had felt like you were truly alone.

---

The days that followed felt like they were unfolding in slow motion, each one darker than the last. Seungmin stayed locked in his own world, a stranger in the home you had built together. His absence lingered, even when he was physically present, silence replacing the laughter you once shared.

You told yourself to wait for the right moment to bring it up, to tell him about the baby, but the fear of his reaction gnawed at your gut. Every time you opened your mouth, his distant gaze or clipped tone shut you down.

The breaking point came one Friday night.

Seungmin had been out late again, the smell of whiskey clinging to him as he stumbled through the door. You were sitting at the kitchen table, a plate of untouched food in front of you.

"Seungmin," you called, your voice shaking slightly. "We need to talk. it can't wait any longer."

"Not this again," he groaned, leaning against the wall as he kicked off his shoes.

"I'm serious," you stood up as your hands trembled. "I can't keep doing this. You're never here, and when you are, it feels like you aren't. What's going on with you?"

"What's going on with me?" he repeated, his tone slurring out of frustration. "You're the one who's always picking fights here recently."

"Picking fights?" Your voice rose, anger bubbling over your previously meek demeanor. "I'm trying to save this relationship, Seungmin! You won't talk to me! You won't let me in!"

"Maybe because I don't want to, y/n!" he snapped, cutting you off.

The words hit you like a harsh slap; you stared at him, your heart pounding so hard you felt it in your ears.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I'm suffocating, okay?" He clenched his jaw, rubbing his temples aggresively. "This life we have? It's not what I wanted."

"Not what you wanted?" Tears blurred your vision as you took a shaky step backwards, nearly stumbling in the process. Seugmin exhaled sharply, pacing the small space of the kitchen.

"I'm 24, for fucks sake. I should be out living my life, not tied down to some boring routine."

"You feel tied down?" you echoed, your voice breaking. "Is that all I am to you? Some weight holding you back?"

"I don't know!" he shouted, his emotioned boiling over. "I don't know what I want anymore, but I do know that I can't keep pretending that everything is fine when it clearly isn't!"

The room fell silent, save for the sound of your muffled, shaky sobs. Slowly, you reached into your jacket pocket, pulling out the small ultrasound photo you had been carrying around for days.

"Maybe this will help you figure it out," you responded, your voice quiet, trembling even as you placed it on the counter in front of him.

Seungmin frowned, his eyes narrowing as he glanced down at the photo. When realization dawned, his expression twisted into something you could not quite discern - shock, confusion, maybe even rage.

"You're...you're pregnant?"

"Yes!" you replied, tears cascading down your face. "I found out a couple weeks ago, and I just went to the doctor to confirm it. I didn't tell you sooner because I knew, I knew this was how you were going to react."

Seungmin shook his head, a stressed hand clamped onto his forehead.

"This can't be happening."

"What do you mean?" you demanded, your voice rising several octaves. "This is happening, Seungmin. We're going to be parents, and you don't get to act like it's some inconvenience!"

"Inconvenience?" he repeated, his voice hard. "Do you know what this means? We're not ready for this! I'm not ready for this. I don't even know if I want-"

"Don't you dare," you cut him off, your voice growling with anger. "Don't you dare say something you can't take back."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you decided to keep it."

The words hung in the air like a knife between you: sharp and unforgiving. Your breath hitched, your hands shaking as you stepped back from him.

"You're unbelievable," you whispered, pain prominent in your tone. "You know what? I'm done. You can figure out what you want without me here, because I'll be damned if I raise our child in an environment where I am treated like this."

Without waiting for a response, you grabbed your coat off of the rack in the living room, slamming the door behind you as you walked out.

---

You did not know where you were going, but anything felt better than the asphyxiating walls of that apartment. Your hands gripped the steering wheel as you drove aimlessly, hot tears streaming down your cheeks. The world outside blurred into a kaleidoscope of color. You could not stop thinking about what Seungmin had said.

"Maybe you should've thought about that before deciding to keep it."

The statement echoed over and over, each repetition cutting deeper than the last. You pulled into an empty parking lot and parked the car, burying your face in your hands as sobs washed over your body.

How had it come to this? The man you loved, the man you thought you would spend forever with, had looked you in the eyes and shattered every hope you had held onto.

After a few moments, the tears slowed, leaving you hollow and exhausted. You reached for your phone, scrolling through your contacts until you landed on a familiar name.

"Hello?" a groggy voice answered after the second ring.

"Changbin," you sobbed. "I need somewhere to stay."

---

The apartment was eerily quiet without you. Seungmin stood in the middle of the living room, holding the ultrasound photo you had left behind.

He felt horrible.

The anger and frustration that had fueled his words had disappeared, replaced by a sickening pit in his stomach. He had not meant to say half of the things that he did, but in the moment, it all came tumbling out.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" he muttered under his breath, sinking into the couch. He could not stop playing the look on your face - the way your shoulders had slumped, the tears in your eyes and anger in your voice as you left.

For the first time in weeks, he let himself confront the feelings he had been burying. The truth was, he was terrified. Terrified of losing his freedom, of not being good enough for you, and now of fatherhood. Instead of talking to you about it, however, he had lashed out, pushing you away when he needed you the most.

Seungmin stared at the ultrasound again, his thumb brushing over the tiny image.

'That's my baby.'

The thought sent a wave of emotion crashing over him, of fear yes, but also a deep unfamiliar sense of awe.

Yet, he was convinced he had already ruined everything.

---

Changbin greeted you at the front door in sweatpants and a hoodie, his face full of concern.

"What happened?" he questioned, his voice filled with concern but also tiredness. You shook your head, not able to speak without choking up. He ushered you inside, grabbing a nearby blanket and wrapping it around your shoulders.

"Take your time," he told you softly, sitting beside you.

The story spilled out in fragments - your fears about the pregnancy, Seungmin's distance, the fight, everything. By the time you had finished, Changbin looked angrier than you had ever seen him.

"That idiot," he mumbled under his breath. "I swear, I'm going to knock some sense into him."

"Don't," you replied quickly, your voice hoarse. "It's over, Changbin. I'm not going back." Changbin frowned but did not argue; instead, he pulled you into a comforing hug.

"You don't have to decide on anything right now. Just focus on taking care of yourself, okay?"

---

The next morning, Seungmin woke up to an empty apartment and a gut-wrenching sense of dread. He had tried calling you, but your phone went straight to voicemail. Panic set in when he realized he had no idea where you had gone.

It was not until later that day that he worked up the nerve to text Changbin.

'Is she with you?'

'She's safe. But don't plan on coming here. She needs space.

Seungmin sank down onto the couch, running a hand through his hair. You were safe, and that was all that mattered for now, but he knew that he could not leave things like they were.

The empty apartment was becoming unbearable; Seungmin missed the warmth of your embrace at night, the sleepy sounds you yawned in the morning, everything. Nothing felt right without you there.

His first attempt to fix things was impulsive; he showed up to Changbin's house unannounced, despearate to see you.

Changbin opened the door, his expression a mixture of disappointment and stifled frustration.

"She doesn't want to see you."

"I know I messed up," Seungmin responded. "I just need to explain-"

"You don't get to explain," Changbin cut him off. "Not yet, at least. You can't just apologize and expect her to forget everything that happened."

Seungmin faltered, shame washing over him.

"Then what do I do?"

Changbin sighed, his tone softening slightly.

"Figure out why you acted the way you did. Fix yourself, then fix the relationship."

---

Seungmin took Changbin's words to heart. For the first time in weeks, he had sought out therapy.

Sitting in the therapist's office, he struggled to put his thoughts into words.

"I feel trapped," he had finally admitted. "Like my life is moving faster than I can keep up with, and I took it out on my girlfriend." The therapist nodded, encouraging him to continue. "I think I'm scared. Scared of failing her, of failing the baby, of being stuck in a life I don't know if I'm ready for."

"That's understandable," the therapist gently assured. "But you need to know that running from your fears doesn't make them go away; it just hurts the ones you care about."

Seungmin left the session feeling lighter, though the weight of his actions was still pressing down on him.

He knew he could not fix things overnight, but he wanted to show you how serious he was about changing.

He started small, dropping off groceries at Changbin's house, knowing that you would not accept them from him directly. He began attending prenatal classes on his own, learning everything he could about what you were going through.

One day, he left a note for you with a small gift; it was a baby onesie that read, "I already have the best mom."

---

Weeks passed before you agreed to see him. You met at a park, the winter air crisp and cool. Seungmin looked nervous, his hands stuffed into his pockets as he approached.

"I'm not here to ask you to forgive me," he began, his voice steady but soft. "I just want you to know how sorry I am."

You crossed your arms, giving him a wary, "Go on."

He took a deep breath, his gaze meeting yours.

"I was selfish, and I let my fear and insecurities control me, and I hurt you in ways I can't even begin to make up for. You didn't deserve that."

"You're right," you replied quietly. "I don't." Seungmin nodded, swallowing hard.

"I can't change what I said, but I'm working on being better, for you, for our baby, and for myself. I understand if you never want to be with me again, but I'll always be here for our child. No matter what."

His sincerity caught you off guard. For the first time in weeks, you saw a glimpse of the man you had initially fell in love with.

---

The months that followed were not easy. You let Seungmin attend the doctor's appointments with you, but you kept your defenses up. Seungmin did not push; he showed up for every appointment, every class, and every moment you allowed him to be apart of. He listened more than he spoke, letting his actions do the talking.

One night, after a particularly long day, he found you sitting in the nursery, staring at the crib. You were far along at this point, about six or seven months; the realization of having this baby was finally beginning to set in.

"Everything okay?" Seungmin asked gently, leaning against the doorframe.

"It's just...a lot," you hesitated before nodding. Seungmin walked over, standing behind you and resting his head on your shoulder and wrapping his arms gently around your belly.

"I know, but you're not alone in this. Not anymore."

---

A few months later, you found yourself laying in the delivery room, clutching Seungmin's hand as your baby lay in the hospital's makeshift cradle just in the corner of the room. Seungmin's cheeks were stained with tears, his love evident within his expression as he walked over to the baby.

"I didn't think it was possible to feel so much love," he whispered, his voice breaking. You smiled through your exhaustion, watching as he gently cradled the baby for the first time.

In that moment, you knew he had changed.

And as he leaned down you press a gentle kiss to your forehead, you felt it too - the hope of a new beginning.

[hvnsinureyes]

omg queennn its okay i was tryna put 🚪 🥃 like b*ckshots um anyways! whats wrong with me haha!

or just like from the back in general idk i #need him bad

warnings | nsfw— reader gets her back blown out, steph doesn’t know how to use a phone (i think i’m funny)

author's note | OHHH that makes sm sense, i was like "you want to door whiskey with steph?? is that new slang??" but its okay anon, we can be crazy together ❤️

steph walked into the kitchen, knowing he had no real reason but to bother you. he "casually" goes to grab a bottle of water. you didn't think anything of it– there was nothing off about him, no signs of frustration, sadness, or anger. he didn’t say anything at first, simply lingering around, eyes flicking over to where you sat with your nose buried in your book.

to anyone else, it might’ve seemed like nothing. but you knew better.

ever since he realized another away game was soon to come, steph became clingier than usual, practically attached to your hip at all times this whole week. it’s his way of savoring as much time as he can with you, even though he'll be back in a couple of days. 

dramatic, but you love him. 

the fridge door clicks shut. "away game soon," he mutters, taking a sip from the bottle. you hum in response, more focused on the book you're reading. in your defense, it's getting to the good part. steph frowns– more of a pout actually, yet he denies it every time– at the lack of attention. "gonna be gone for a bit."

"yep. i saw on the calendar."

"you not gon' miss me?" he steps closer, wrapping his arms around your shoulders, like the big baby he is.

"steph, i always miss you." you sighed, finally looking up at him.

"i miss you more." he whispered, and before you could roll your eyes, his mouth was on yours— soft and needy, tongue brushing against your bottom lip, like he was asking for permission. you open your lips against his, letting him in. as much as he annoys you, you can never get enough of steph.

"i know you will." you pull away, book already forgotten. "now, what do you want?”

but steph didn’t answer. instead, he leaned in, lowering his head until his lips found that sweet spot on your neck. a kiss. then another. slow, wet, deliberate, trailing down further. your breath caught as he dragged his mouth lower, grazing your collarbone, hand sliding over your thigh— he didn’t need to say anything else.

“i wanna spend time with you,”

“steph—” you moaned, your voice trembling slightly, heat blooming deep in your belly. “you mean fucking, don’t you?”

“same thing.” he pulled back enough to look you dead in the eyes, his smirk lazy, but dangerous. “we could make another tape,” he said, thumb now tracing slow circles on the inside of your thigh. “have something to remember you by.”

“don’t you have enough of those?”

“we’ve done every position but one…”

"fuckkk yes," steph groans, voice raspy. "throw that ass back, just like that baby," doggystyle— that’s what was missing. the flash from steph’s iphone shines on your back, camera focused between your ass and steph’s hips, cock rutting into your pussy. you don’t know what it is, the presence of the camera or making sure steph really has something interesting to watch while he’s gone, but you end up showing out each time.

“guess you’re not the only one who’s gon’ miss me,” he muses. you’re dripping all over, juices sticking between your thighs and coating his dick. it’s hard not to when he’s slamming into that spot, making your toes curl and leaving your body shaking. “this pussy will, won’t it?” you nod, but that’s not enough for him.

“words, baby, we can’t see your face.”

“yes, yes, it’ll miss you!”

“good,” he murmurs, entranced by the feel of your tight walls. “b’cause imma miss this most of all, this pretty pussy,” with his fingers digging into your asscheek, he takes back control of the pace, fucking into you harder. your moans only encourage him to go faster, rougher— hammering into you like there’s no tomorrow. “it’s all mine,” he says, you don’t hesitate to respond.

“all yours, no one else’s,”

“you close, ain’t you?” it’s not a question, more of a statement if anything. steph can already tell by the way you’re squirming beneath him. you can already feel the bruises and discomfort you’ll get from sitting down, but that’s not important right now, you’ll make him make it up to you later. steph’s free hand goes under, quickly finding your clit and rubbing frantically. he’s desperate, wanting you to feel the same high he’ll to get soon enough.

it doesn’t take much though. you scream out from the friction, senses heightening as you gush over the couch and his fingers, whimpering as he continues even after your orgasm. “steph— t’much,” he’s moaning, deep in his throat, from how you’re squeezing him. you’re just as enthusiastic, fighting through your fatigue to grind into him, back arched and in perfect sync with his hips. he’s almost there, also needing that push. you already know.

“inside, baby, c’mon,” you say, looking back at him, “f—fill me up. i need it, i wanna feel you,” steph’s hips stutter against you before he completely stills, both hands grabbing your hips as he cums deep inside, hips completely pressed against you. you feel the spurts of cum fill you up until you’re stuffed full of steph. it’s silent except for your small pants, the both of you basking in the moment…until he says,

“…i don’t think it was recording.” what? steph grabs the phone from where it fell on the couch. there was no video, he didn’t even open the camera app. turns out his flashlight was on the whole time instead.

“are you kidding me?”

steph just grins, sheepishly, as if he didn’t just take you through an intense workout for a good 10 minutes. your body is sore and aching, goddamnit��

“one more time?”

“no.”

[evertidings]

Hello~ I have a question about the writing/development process, if that‘s alright? What method do you use to keep track of choices/branches? I‘ve been debating on writing an IF, but the choice/branch thing seems almost more daunting than the coding 😭

I’ve answered this before but I love talking about this haha so I’ll explain it again.

I should start off by saying I’m not very Type B, so I don’t really need a rigid outline before I start writing. A lot of my best scenes are happy coincidences, and I come up with a lot of ideas on the spot. That said, having a vague idea of what you’re doing is always nice, especially since an IF is not a linear thing.

— FLOW CHARTS

When it comes to planning out various branches, I think the easiest way is to see it visually. I have a dedicated notebook for WTS, so when I start a chapter, I whip it out and conjure something like this (the flowchart above). Mine don’t go into detail about every choice that I want included in the chapter, but at the very least, I get a rough idea of how I want the chapter to begin and end, as well as how I am getting to that final checkpoint.

I also tend to write jot notes on the side of various topics I want to cover and scenes where that can happen. Again, I’m very flexible with my writing so having the freedom is useful to me, but it may not be for you.

— CHOICES & IF STATEMENTS.

Then, the writing. I start all my chapters in Word, which to most people will look crazy, but once you get used to it, you’ll find it’s actually quite organized. I’ve attached my layout above. The “Choice Placeholder” is, as you can guess, where I’d put the text for the choice players would choose. Everything in the bullet point would be text that only that route sees, and anything after it is common text that all the routes merge into.

I also included an example of how I set up my ‘if statements’, aka flavour text, in my Word document. While I usually write it in code, but for the sake of simplicity, I left it out. These aren’t reallyyyy necessary when you’re first figuring things out, but having flavour text can be nice for customization reasons. Like having your MC bump their head if they’re too tall for a doorframe, for example. I write these in a slightly different shade from my choices and on a different bullet point line just to make it easier on my brain and eyes.

Word (I’m not sure about Google Docs) allows you to create headers and collapse them, so if this looks a little too crazy for you, that’s always an option.

— CHARTS

If you need a little more structure and can’t just, like, freestyle your choices in a document, you can also make a chart. I do this to keep track of my variables. This one, for example, is from Chapter 8. I obviously crossed some things out, but you get the gist of it. While I’m not sure this would be the best method for organizing branches, it definitely helps in other areas.

Either way, I find that having a spreadsheet like this is the best way to keep everything in one place. If you have a lot of flavour text like me, it’s also good for when you want to reference something from a previous chapter. Because of that, I only really include variables I think will be useful for the future; if I put every variable I’ve ever created in a chart, I think I’d explode.

— OVERALL

I don’t think branches should be something that intimidates you. It’s very different from the traditional, linear way of writing, for sure, but I think as long as you keep it simple, it’s not that difficult. First chapters tend to have a lot of choices on customization and there is little space for flavour text since you have no previous text to reference, so you can always use that as a ‘trial run’ before getting into more complicated things.

If you decide to go through with it, good luck!! Let me know if you have any more questions too (and hopefully this answered your initial one).

[kouzih]

Songs that give off Nam-gyu vibes .ᐟ

warnings : none duh

tags,, @gongyoosgf @cybrasigilism

( not a fic, but i wanted to share my thoughts about WHY these songs and the lyrics i think suits him )

Why I Love You ( JAY-Z, Kanye West, Mr Hudson )

( idk why but tumblr won't let me add the song :( so here! )

" Ooh, I love you so But why I love you, I'll never know "

Refering him to find love complicated, he doesn't understand the meaning of love at all. Since he doesn't know the meaning of love, he mess ups the whole relationship, causing his partner to leave him in the end. Leaving him with regret and thoughts.

" Then you're just a piece of meat You're just a piece of meat to me "

Because of the hatred he spews at people who don't take him seriously or care about him, he doesn't see them as people; his hatred causes him to see them as pieces of meat. We already know how much he hates others..

" Promise I'll be kind But I won't stop until that boy is mine "

He doesn't understand love, nor does he have an obsession with it. He can't understand the psychology of being obsessed, but the feelings he feels for someone combine with jealousy and obsession, causing not-so-good results.

" Harvey keeps on playing with his food He doesn't understand what big boys do "

He hates being someone who thinks too much in his head. Thinking too much when he was little caused him to act without thinking when he got older, but the thoughts in his head still haunt him. ( cough thangyu cough )

" But I miss you when you're gone That is what I do "

Even if he doesn't seem like a caring person, he is still a human being. He can only understand the value of someone when they are gone. Most of us know what he does to suppress this feeling..haha..

" M-A-M-A-B-O-Y, mama's boy, mama's boy "

Many people may disagree with me, but I think Nam-gyu was fond of his mother when he was little. But as he grows up, this fondness turned into hatred, and he does not love his younger self because he used to love his mother.

" I wasted like half of my summer tryna hold on your hand "

I think the word "wasted" fits very well, because instead of saying "spent", he would use this. He says it in a passive aggressive way because he has a idc mentality. But it still doesn't change the fact that he's chasing after.

[boxofthings]

got any roach-centric fic recs? like idc the pairing, ghostroach/soaproach/ghostsoaporach any thats roach focused plzz

*cracks knuckles* I GOTCHU ANON this is my time to shine

If anyone wants to reply with their own pls do!

(These are in no particular order)

GhostRoach:

i left my heart in the mountains (right next to yours)

I'm going to want you 'til the stars evaporate

and here i stand (in the dirt with you)

These are all by Santihan and ugghh these were the fics that pulled me back from my near decade-long ghostroach obsession sabbatical. Well-written, emotional, they are amazing, my favs, I will rec these til I die (the first two are painful :'))

Things That Burn by abel_obel

Such a good one, I always go back to this when I'm in a ghostroach mood. Good ol' classic person A gets injured and person B freaks out

Roach Wouldn't Really Do It...

Exhaustion's a Funny Thing

Both by tinyduckies! Def read the TWs for the first one, but arghhh, I go back to these ones a lot!. I really like how the first one's more realistic/gritty when it comes to the aftermath of surviving Loose Ends

Second one's just a lovely depiction of Ghost and Roach's dynamic. Loved the banter and the second chapter ends real sweetly :)

The Barracks: Part 2

Ulterior Motives

Both by doberman, these two are much longer fics (which ghostroach is in desperate need of) and are such interesting reads!!

The first one is an AU that takes place in a pub with Ghost being his repressed, unhealthy self, and Roach coming in as the new co-worker to sweep him off his feet lol

The second one is ongoing and takes place slightly after MWII with Ghost meeting Roach outside of deployment

Sovereign by Applescone

God, this one really puts me in an introspective mood. It's so well-written and just feels so grounded and human. Takes place years after Loose Ends, with Ghost and Roach rekindling their relationship whilst dealing with the complications of Shepherd's betrayal and death

我给你早在你出生前多年的一个傍晚看到的一朵黄玫瑰的记忆 by Alex_Upshur

Ok I know this is in Chinese, but just use a translator like I did and yeah, while it won't be as accurate as the author wrote it, it's still a really lovely fic and i adore it :') A lil bittersweet look into the 141's lives and sweet moments with Ghost and Roach <3

Of Doubts and Dreams (Retold)

The Hook Up

All written by Call_Of_Booty, an og ghostroach author from wayyy back during the og trilogy (and ff.net) days. The first one's a rewrite of one of their old fics and it focuses on Roach and Ghost's dynamic up until the night before Loose Ends.

Second one's about Roach deciding to leave the SAS whilst he and Ghost have complicated feelings for eachother due to past hookups. Both great reads!

Distance Makes the Heart Pissed Off by krwaken

I'm sure every GhostRoach shipper knows this one lol. A lovely 200k word slowburn of these two <3

Fear & Delight by EpiKatt

Hornet's Nest with more GhostRoach :))

Tell Me Why This Has to End by Feral_Raccoon

ANGST :( Post-Loose Ends. Ending broke me haha

and you wrote your name / right there next to mine by cheese_n_crack

more Loose Ends angst :( A bittersweet ending with Ghost and Roach looking at the stars in their final moments

You'll Get Sick Anyways by ghostslefttit

Very short, but very cute lil fic with Ghost taking care of a sick Roach :))

If We Crash (I Hope We Do) by mintyiecat

Man I can't even begin to describe how much I love this one. Portrays Ghost and Roach's relationship post-loose ends where Roach is now a civilian. Loved how the author depicted their relationship as not flawless. Felt very human and raw. Very sweet ending :)

GhostSoapRoach

Something in the Orange by fixfoxnox

Y'all been knew this would be on here lol

Follows Roach's pov where he's been reincarnated into the reboot timeline with all his memories from his old life and him trying to make his way back to Ghost. This one makes me sad as hell. Has all the feels :')

Something in the Orange by insomniamemoirs & RandomWordsAndStormyDays

Funny how my top two GSR fics are named the same thing, but hey, they're both amazing. I was apprehensive because of the "calling Soap Roach by accident" trope, however they really diverted my expectations and made these three really feel like equals in a relationship. Really love how they made sure to establish a strong dynamic between Soap and Roach instead of pitting them against each other. And Roach isn't just some 2D character here, he's very nuanced and I love it!

Freezing Waters by AmphibianEft

Sweet fic of Roach getting injured and Soap and Ghost freaking out and taking care of him

Stress Relief by Anonymous

Just Soap and Ghost taking care of Roach after Hornet's Nest (smut) :)

SoapRoach

Leg Day by tinyduckies

Good ol' smut lol (09 soaproach mm)

Everything That Isn't Said by pajamabees

More 09 smut

Taste by fixfoxnox

Just 3.5k words of Roach wanting to kiss his captain :)

fall for me by punishervest

Just a sweet moment between 09 Soap and Roach with Soap reminiscing on his past with Price but also considering how he wants something more with Roach <3

She (Means Everything To Me) by mylareading

Just 1.9k words of Soap being down bad for Roach (super sweet)

Roanig (Roach x Konig)

I Really Like The Way You Stare At Me by turqu0ise

The fic that introduced me to roanig <3 Just a cute fic focusing on the development of their relationship

Subatomic by tinyduckies

Another nice fic focused on the development of their relationship. Loved the interactions they had in this :)

These are the ones I have so far! I'm sure later on I can add to the list, and if anyone wants to reply with their own feel free :)

I've also been made aware there are Keegan/Roach fics, but I haven't gotten around to reading them yet, but def check out their tag anon! Hope this was an adequate rec list haha

[sixofcrowdaydreams]

Six of Crows Russian Edition

Today I found this gorgeous gem at the bookstore!

So a few years ago I moved overseas to live in a Russian speaking country. I am not in Russia, for the record. The national language here is not Russian, but it is commonly spoken in my city.

Today at the bookstore I looked for a copy of Crooked Kingdom for the cast of Shadow and Bone to sign this May when I go to A Storm of Shadows and Crows convention in Paris. I don't own a copy of SOC or KC in English and there's no chance of finding one where I live. The next best option was getting a book in the local language and calling it a souvenir of my time abroad. To my delight I found this lovely Russian edition of Six of Crows!

More stunning artwork below.

There were multiple versions of the books to choose from. The original art and the Netflix artwork were available too. The most impressive part was finding copies of the original covers WITHOUT the Netflix sticker. (Haha, suck it Netflix.) To the right, not pictured were King of Scars and Rule of Wolves.

I've never seen this cover variation before. It was an exciting find!

The Russian version I bought is illustrated by (I assume Russian?) artist Eva Eller.

I didn't see a copy of Crooked Kingdom with illustrations by the same artist at this bookstore, but it must exist. Mine was the last copy of SOC with the Russian artwork. Maybe it was sold out?

Google Translate titles the book Six of Ravens, lol. But that's just a translation error because a little google-foo showed that ворона (pronounced vorona) means crow. Interestingly, while typing the title, I learned that вор (pronounced vor) means thief. Interesting how similar the words crow and thief are in Russian. Checks out.

Above is the art printed on the side of the pages. Love how it still includes the side of the pages colored, just like the original books.

The hardcover underneath the jacket is a crow. It's not the same as pictured on the original CK cover, but it is similar. Love the messy, broken, bent feathers, yet the crow is still able to fly. Metaphor for our six characters? Absolutely!

The book was wrapped in cellophane so I didn't realize there was even more art inside! Here is the inner cover. IT'S BEAUTIFUL! The back is the same. It captures the foggy haze of Ketterdam so well.

The flaps of the book jacket are images from the inner cover. But there's a cracked texture over them that gives it a gorgeous grittiness.

The candle is the left side of the inner book jacket. Sorry the image isn't flat, I didn't want to damage the jacket by straightening it out.

The right side of the book jacket shows all the Crows!

Let's appreciate how Matthias looks snow pale and serious. Inej is taller than Nina -- she must be standing on a step stool. No clue why both of their eyes are closed, especially when Nina is the one pointing to the paper. They are lovely. Kaz has on his scheming face. Jesper is as handsome as every version of him should be. And Wylan looks bored AF because A.) he's already memorized the map he drew or B.) he can't read whatever document Kaz has in front of them. Wait, no, Wylan is making heart eyes at Jesper. All of the above can be true.

Inside is a small illustration at the beginning of each chapter, which changes with each section.

You can also see the Crow's names written in Cyrillic. Inej, Kaz, Nina, and Matthias translate easily. Jesper uses the д (letter D) and ж (pronounced like zhe) letter combination that makes his name sound like Zhesper since there is no J in Cyrillic. It's worth pointing out (again) that Wylan's name does not translate perfectly. There is no W in the Cyrillic alphabet. (As someone who also has a W in their name, I sympathize with Wylan here.) I'm no expert in Russian, but I'm pretty sure -- with the help of google translate -- that Wylan is pronounced as Oo-ai-len. Poor boy can't catch a break.

Each of the five section of the book use different chapter art. They all do an excellent job capturing the atmosphere.

The paper is so thin that you can easily see the printing on the opposite side. Not ideal for an edition that's otherwise this lovely. Oh well.

Given that Ravka is fantasy Russia, it's not a surprise to find the Grisha Verse books in Russian.

I am so excited to bring this book to Paris for the cast to sign!

[ginawankenobi]

Juliet Burke is a Tragic Hero (and Her Fatal Flaw is Insecurity)

(Thanks so much to @taweretsdagger, @eponine119, and @obsessivedaydreamer for beta-reading for me!)

PREAMBLE: What Even IS a Tragic Hero?

It’s Juliet Burke, I told you in the title. Essay over!

Haha, did you think you were going to get out of reading this that quickly? No way, dudes, buckle up! Anyway, once upon a time, a super smart guy named Aristotle said a tragic hero is a character who a) is virtuous, b) is flawed, and c) suffers a reversal of fortune (from good to bad). I tend to agree with him. In this full-length novel - I mean, essay - I will explain exactly why Juliet Burke fits this archetype, and why this means there is concrete scientific proof that she is the best character in all of media!

Okay, that last bit might be my bias talking. I’ll work on that. Here we go!

PART ONE: Preliminary Evidence

Exhibit A: What’s in a Name

Juliet shares a name with a Shakespearean tragic hero.

Shakespeare’s Juliet falls in love with a member of a rival family. Lost’s Juliet first forms a relationship with Jack, the leader of a rival group (crash survivors vs. the Others), then falls in love with James, another member of said rival group.

Each Juliet appears to die once, but truly (tragically) dies later on.

This spelling of Juliet was popularized due to Shakespeare’s work.

The name Juliet is likely derived from the Latin word iuvenis, meaning “youthful,” or Jovis, which is another form of the name of the Roman god Jupiter/Jove the “sky father.” Juliet means “Jove’s child, youthful, downy.”

Juliet speaks Latin, the language of the Romans, fluently.

A young/youthful person is considered to be someone between the ages of 20 and 40; Juliet is around 33 years old when we first meet her.

“Downy” refers to soft, fluffy hair; Juliet has downy blonde hair.

In the Middle Ages, Juliet became a female form of the name Julian; Juliet has a nephew Julian, presumably named after her.

Exhibit B: I Write Sins AND Tragedies

Tragic heroes must garner sympathy from the audience. Early on, Juliet garners sympathy from the audience in the following ways:

Jack threatens Juliet’s life and Ben seems unbothered, then closes her out of the safe room, showing the first signs of the fissures in their relationship.

Her profession as a doctor/fertility specialist/medical researcher establishes credibility.

She has a very close relationship with her sister.

Her ex-husband is clearly depicted as a shitty individual who treated her terribly.

She is self-deprecating, referring to herself as “a mess.”

Colleen’s injury and subsequent death genuinely throw her off-balance.

She helps Kate and Sawyer escape Hydra island (though selfish reasoning does factor into this decision).

She is nearly sentenced to death but instead is branded with a mark for her actions in helping Kate and Sawyer.

She displays genuine happiness when she does the ultrasound for Sun.

Ben is essentially holding her hostage on the island, and she hates him just as much as Jack and the other survivors do.

Like the crash survivors, she desires nothing more than to go home.

There are many more instances of Juliet gaining sympathy from the audience in later episodes, such as Ben showing her Goodwin’s corpse and creepily telling her “you’re mine.” These instances continue to build throughout the rest of the series, transforming Juliet from potential adversary into primary hero.

PART TWO: VIRTUES

Juliet is often virtuous to the point of her own detriment, and in fact, it’s the very reason she doesn’t leave the island with the Oceanic 6.

SEASON THREE.

Early on we don’t know her or her motives very well, but in retrospect, her true self shines through.

We don’t yet know that it’s “Henry Gale” she’s referring to in episode one as she rants to her book club about Ben, but looking back this moment illustrated from the very beginning that Juliet is willing to defy Ben.

Mid-rant, when the island shakes due to the shift in the magnetic field, she jumps into protective leader mode and directs everyone to get into the doorway for safety.

Throwing her canteen to Sawyer seems like a manipulation tactic at the time (and it still may have been in part), but odds are it’s mostly a genuine gesture.

Holding her gun to Kate to get Sawyer to drop his weapon makes her seem cold, and is frustrating at first because we’ve been set up to root for Sawyer and Kate. In reality, it’s quick thinking on Juliet’s part that spared Sawyer (and probably Kate) further risk of violence, as she’s able to quell the situation with no bloodshed or further consequences.

Even handcuffing herself to Kate isn't entirely disingenuous. Yes, we find out she did it as part of Ben's plan, but looking back we can tell it's true she wants to belong with them, and she hates Ben for making her act as a spy.

SEASON FOUR.

As time passes and we see Juliet freed from the guise of a double agent, we also see more and more of her altruistic and selfless nature.

She had just gone with Sawyer back to the beach on what she believed was a suicide mission, as “karma” for her past actions.

She teams up with Sayid to help Jack and Kate when they’re held hostage by Miles and Daniel (well, mostly Miles, let’s be real).

Back at the barracks, she had been helping take care of Zach and Emma, and was (according to Ben) very good with them.

When she believes Daniel and Charlotte are going to release a toxic gas around the island, she once again goes on a mission risking her own safety to stop them.

She sacrifices her budding friendship with Sun to keep her from going to Locke’s camp, since she knew Sun would die from the complications of her pregnancy if she didn’t leave the island.

She performs a badass guerilla surgery on Jack to save his life, and doesn’t let his stubbornness stop her from doing what needs to be done.

Knowing Jack’s heart truly lies with Kate (and he won’t admit it to himself yet), Juliet sets aside her own feelings to make sure Kate knows how Jack feels, and subtly ensures he hears her.

Juliet insists Sun be among the first group to leave the island for the freighter, and also insists that she stay until everyone else is safe, sacrificing the thing she wants most in favor of guarding the safety of the rest of the group.

SEASON FIVE.

We truly see Juliet come into her own during the flashes and when the remaining group enters the Dharma Initiative in the 1970s.

When running from the flaming arrows, she once again puts herself in harm’s way trying to save another member of the group.

She manages to calm Sawyer down multiple times when he starts to lose control of his emotions.

She takes out the unknown people shooting at them from the other outrigger, preventing any injuries to her group.

She shows leadership by going along with Sawyer’s plan and keeping him and the group grounded as the flashes get more chaotic.

She directly saves Sawyer’s life by shooting one of the people holding Amy hostage before he can shoot Sawyer.

Her quick thinking and calm persuasive nature come in handy when they capture a young Charles Widmore and his ally; she’s unable to sway Widmore to help them, but would have swayed the other Other had Widmore not killed him. This makes it possible for John to track Widmore to his camp.

She has Sawyer’s back constantly.

She comforts Daniel when they lose Charlotte. I genuinely don’t believe Daniel would have mentally recovered at all had Juliet not been there, but that’s my biased opinion coming into play again. (A good researcher must acknowledge their own bias, or so I’ve heard.)

Despite the trauma of having lost several pregnant patients on the island, she agrees to deliver Amy’s baby.

Juliet has the idea of adding the returning crash survivors to the sub’s manifest in order to bring them in safely and subtly.

Despite everything she knows Future Ben will do to her, she refuses to let it affect her treatment of 1977 Ben and saves his life anyway. She even goes as far as angrily confronting Jack and calling him out for not helping also.

When the chains pull her down during The Incident, she knows Sawyer won’t let go and will get dragged down too if she doesn’t let go, so she does.

She hits the hydrogen bomb, not for herself, but because she wants Sawyer to be able to go home, literally sacrificing herself for the man she loves.

It’s going to hurt me too much to write any further on the Incident, so that’s all, folks.

PART THREE: FATAL FLAWS

If there was a Reddit-like thread dedicated solely to the Reasons Juliet Burke is Insecure, it would probably look something like this:

i/career

Juliet refers to herself as “a mess.” This is pre-island, and almost certainly due (at least in part) to her ex-husband’s treatment of her, but does continue on throughout the series. She displays a severe lack of confidence in herself and her abilities, despite being obviously brilliant and a groundbreaking expert in her field.

She is unable to solve the crisis facing pregnant women on the island, and this furthers the insecurity and impostor syndrome she already experiences.

In Dharmaville, she refuses to work as a doctor and opts for a career in the motor pool because she is so afraid, and has lost confidence in her ability to help pregnant people.

i/social

Juliet feels like all eyes are on her when she comes to the island, and it makes her feel isolated. She does not enjoy public attention or being put on a pedestal.

She is not shown to have many close friends, apart from perhaps Amelia. The rest of the Others seem to view her as someone special in Ben’s eyes, as Goodwin talks about Ben’s crush on her like it’s common knowledge (though Juliet herself seems oblivious at the time). It seems she doesn’t believe other people would genuinely want to befriend her.

Tom also mentions to Jack that Juliet and Ben have “history,” which I’ve personally always inferred to mean Ben talks to him about Juliet on a regular basis. It’s possible Juliet may have confided a bit in Tom too, at least about how much she wanted to go home, but I think most of what he knows about her is through Ben.

i/relationships

Her parents.

Their divorce during her childhood did some major damage to her ability to believe she could find true love that would stand the test of time. She seemed to view all relationships as temporary from that point on.

Edmund “the Asshat” Burke.

Due to the emotional baggage surrounding her parents’ divorce, she seems to have settled for this guy, who does not even remotely resemble True Love Material.

This creepazoid of a human being shot any confidence she had to hell. How exactly he did this is not shown to us, but it can be inferred by what we do see of their relationship. He likely cheated on her, and even after their divorce, Juliet feels she can’t go anywhere or do anything without his approval (and likely contracts they still have in place, or something of that nature).

And yet, Juliet still cried for him when he died. So much more than he deserves, if you ask me and my completely unbiased opinion on this matter.

Goodwin “the Luckiest Man Alive (until he wasn’t)” Stanhope.

Juliet refuses to allow Goodwin to fully leave his wife (even after she learns that Harper knows about their affair), though he states they’re basically separated already. It’s likely she is worried a relationship between them wouldn’t work out if it lacked the “excitement” and freedom of their situationship.

He was taken from her too, and she had to cry over the death of yet another man she was in a relationship with.

Jack “Fumbled at the 5 Yard Line” Shephard.

Jack represents everything Edmund wasn’t; he’s also a doctor, but one with integrity, and one who treats her like a human and an equal.

Juliet thought for a moment that she’d found what she was looking for and that Jack could save her and break the pattern, but she realized his heart was with someone else.

This helped reinforce her (incorrect) belief that she wasn’t destined for lasting love, that she’d always be second best (specifically to Kate Austen).

James “True Love Material” Ford.

Due to everything she endured, even when she FOUND the thing she previously thought un-find-able, she still believed it was too good to be true.

Because of her history being Jack’s second choice to Kate, on top of the history she knows James has with Kate, the second she thinks (again, incorrectly) that James would choose Kate over her, she lets her insecurity win.

She throws everything away based on James looking at Kate in what Juliet perceives to be a meaningful way, even though it seems that look is meaningless to James himself. Juliet convinces herself she will lose him, so much so that she wants to erase the memory of them ever having met in the first place.

She disregards all evidence to the contrary:

James helping save Ben’s life even though he didn’t want to, but he did it anyway because she asked him to

Grabbing her hand and continuously affirming that he has her back

Telling her he loves her when they’re on the sub and grinning bashfully at her like a boy in puppy love

Talking about the life they’d have once they leave the island

James literally and very seriously threatening Phil’s life because he hit Juliet - I don’t recall that he ever reacted so strongly to anyone hurting Kate

The entire 3 years they spent together; she lets her insecurity and intrusive thoughts tell her it didn’t mean what it meant/it was impermanent

PART FOUR: REVERSALS OF FORTUNE

Juliet experiences a reversal of fortune from bad to good when she joins the crash survivors and exposes Ben’s plans, cementing herself as one of them instead of an “Other.” Sadly, tragic heroes must experience a reversal of fortune in the other direction as well, which ultimately leads to their downfall.

For Juliet, one could argue the good-to-bad reversal occurs when Jack and his group arrive back on the island in 1977 Dharmaville. From there, her stable life with James is thrown into upheaval that does not cease until she…well, ceases. To live. I could probably come up with a better way to word that, but by this point, my brain is beginning to fry. (A good researcher must also be honest, I’ve heard.)

Juliet clocks it immediately, telling James their life there is over. From that point on, regardless of how true that actually is, Juliet believes it’s the beginning of the end and becomes determined to self-fulfill that prophecy. Tragedy lies in the fact that she and James almost escaped, they were this close to leaving the island, but once again a wrench was thrown into the plans (I didn’t even intend that Dharma motor pool mechanic pun, but there you go).

They begin by wanting to stop Jack from detonating the bomb, but Juliet’s insecurities cause her to change her mind when she attaches meaning to a look he gives Kate. She lets herself believe the intrusive thoughts and ignore the evidence. Though personally I feel there could have been stronger reasoning displayed for Juliet’s decision, it does make sense from what we know of her that feeling second best (and to Kate specifically) would get in her way and lead to her own downfall.

Because Juliet goes along with Jack’s plan, she winds up caught in the chains that pull her down the shaft of the Swan station. Selfless to the end, Juliet lets go of James when it becomes clear he will also fall if she doesn’t, and her final act is detonating the bomb - not in hopes of getting herself home, but to get the man she loves home. She gives everything she has left to give him the thing she has so desperately wanted for 6 years, not realizing that the only future he really wanted was one with her.

PART FIVE: CONCLUSIONS

Swans can symbolize many things, including love and transformation. Juliet dying in the Swan station ruins symbolizes the completion of her transformation into a tragic hero, as well as her transformation into the flash sideways version of herself. Her love for James is also evident here, given her sacrifice; their final conversation also foreshadows their reunion in the flash sideways.

In short, if you skipped all the way down here and want the tl;dr, everything we come to know about Juliet and the progression of her arc can only bring us to the conclusion that she is in fact a tragic hero (and the best character in anything ever, according to my bias). Thankfully, the writers did do us one big kindness, and she got to be reunited with her soulmate in the afterlife and have the happily ever after they were cheated out of in life. They realized the errors of their ways, perhaps slightly too late, but whatever happened happened and I have totally made my peace with it. Totally.

If you actually read all of this, THANK YOU, you are just as awesome as Juliet Burke in my eyes. THE END! Unless I think of more later on. So, to be continued?

[alexawynters]

Scarlet Whispers pt. 8

Gif not mine, as always

Trigger Warnings: Smuttttttt. Horribly written smut.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Female!Reader

Rating: M. Minors DNI

Masterlist with parts 1-7 here

Chapter Eight

Translations: котёнок - Kitten; malyshka - baby; lyubov - love; dorogoya - darling; I probably missed some… I should have probably been doing this the entire time, no? Eh… My b.

A/N: Its uhhh.. My first time writing smut for the public so uh… be gentle pls? Lol. Lemme know how it went. Writing dialog and smut makes me cringe haha. This was also written while I was in the hospital. Is it bad that the 5 day stay was almost a vacation compared to life? Haha, living the dreeeaammm. Someone pls hit me with their car or something so I can go back and have 0 responsibilities for another week. Promise I won’t sue 😛

Once again, edited while floaty. Apparently that’s the only time I can get the motivation to open my laptop. In my defense, I’m currently in the middle of a move and starting a new job so pls forgive my laziness. I’m a tad overwhelmed. It’s finnnne. 

____________________________________________________________

During your time at the aquarium with Wanda, you hadn't noticed how late it had gotten. Logically, you knew it was around dinner time because you both had just eaten, but you didn't realize until you both entered the dimly lit cottage that it was so dark outside. Despite the long day you’d had, you weren't ready to go to bed just yet. Body thrumming with an unfamiliar energy, and you could tell it stemmed from Wanda's hand still holding onto your waist. Now that you were home, it would be socially acceptable for her to let you go, but instead, she chose to linger.

Never one to enjoy having others in your personal space, regardless of if you were touch starved, you were thrilled to discover that you didn't mind the witch being so close to you. In fact, the mere thought of being separated from her made your stomach roil with anxiety. Looking at the redhead next to you as you traversed the hallway towards your room for the evening, a new kind of craving overcame you. This one was different from the hunger you had experienced just before dinner, and you realized that you couldn't get enough of the witch’s touch and presence.

Reaching your shared room Wanda finally moves to separate from you, and as she heads opposite from you, her hand falling away, you make a split-second decision. Well. Decision was being generous. More accurately you allowed your impulses to take over, unable to think logically - you couldn’t let Wanda get too far. Not that there was anywhere for her to go in a bedroom you both shared, but your brain wasn’t exactly running on all cylinders at this time.

“Wait!” 

You don’t know what, or even if you were thinking, knowing only that in the scant few feet the witch was away from you, your whole world felt like it was collapsing. A lightly calloused hand shot out as you turned to grab her hand again, and in your exuberance, you accidentally ended up yanking the woman towards you. In an unexpected feat of grace surprising both of you, you managed to catch Wanda. Despite her velocity, you were able to use her momentum, spinning both of you. A small jolt of pain wracked through your bones as your back landed harshly against the smooth wall, with Wanda safely in your arms. Chests heaved for air, both of you having fully expected to collide, ending up in a heap on the floor.

After the initial surprise wore off, both women giggled, though neither made a move to separate. “What is it, Y/N?” the older woman asked. Amusement colored her gaze, mixed with something else you couldn’t quite decipher. You were still learning new facial expressions to this day. 

“I-” You started then stopped, trying to assemble your thoughts and determine just how vulnerable you were willing to be. “Thank you, Wanda. For today. For… everything. This was..” you trailed off, unable to find the words. “Everything.”

You hoped Wanda would understand what you meant by that even if you yourself weren’t quite sure just yet. What you were sure of is that you wanted to return to Wanda at least a fraction of the care and devotion she had shown you in all this time. You knew you didn’t want her to walk away, heart aching at the concept. What you didn’t know was what you wanted to do next, you hadn’t exactly gotten that far, but you couldn’t stomach the thought of being apart from her.

The redhead’s gaze softened at your words. “You don’t need to thank me, lyubov. You deserve so much, and I just want you to be happy.” 

The words “with me” went unspoken, though she was dying to let them out. Instead, well-manicured hands lifted the tips of her fingers to gently push some fallen strands of your hair from  your face, as she studied you curiously. A feeling you both were on the precipice of something settled firmly within the witch’s chest. Wanda was fairly confident she knew exactly what that something was, but she wouldn’t plunge you into anything you weren’t yet ready to fall into.

Though certain in her assumptions, Wanda was unable to clearly read your surface thoughts. A jumbled mass of emotions, each thought no more than fleeting before another took its place, your mind was a whirlwind. The next steps had to be taken by you, and if you weren’t up for that yet, the redhead was content with where you both were at this moment. 

A palpable tension filled the air, conveying an unspoken awareness that something transformative was about to occur. Anticipation lingered in the atmosphere, creating a delicate blend of nervousness and excitement. There was an understated, magnetic attraction that drew you closer to Wanda. Completely unaware as you were, enthralled by the alluring softness of her lips which stoked a longing within you to know if they felt as velvety as they appeared, you were unconsciously learning forward.

It was a moment of breathless expectation, where time seemed to stretch. The world had fallen away, leaving only the two of you suspended in the beauty of the impending inevitability. Eyes finally connecting with Wanda’s, a silent, mutual understanding was shared, and in that moment, you made a decision.

”May I…?” your voice a husky tremor, thick with emotion.

Never had Wanda found you more endearing than in that moment. Your innocent consideration that you would need to ask her permission after everything. As if she hadn't been waiting for this very moment for so long. As if this wasn’t what she had been waiting for since first discovering the Darkhold, and all the possibilities of a multiverse.

“Please, Y/N.” The witch’s reply was all but a breathy whisper.

As your lips and hers finally connected in a gentle, exploratory kiss, an electric current seemed to pass through their bodies, igniting a fire within your souls. It was a moment of pure magic, a culmination of all the emotions and desires that had been building between you both. Breaths mingled, blending together in a perfect harmony of passion and longing.

The softness of the kiss spoke volumes, revealing a depth of connection that you were certain words could never fully capture. A tender exchange, filled with a delicate balance of vulnerability and trust. Each touch, each movement of Wanda’s lips against yours, was deliberate, as if she was savoring every precious moment of this newfound intimacy with you.

With every passing second, the world around faded away, leaving only the two of you enveloped in a bubble of pure bliss. Time seemed to stand still as you explored this uncharted territory together. A feeling as if something inside, you hadn’t known had been missing, was now perfectly slotted into place. Home.

When it came to kissing you, Wanda marveled at the stark contrasts between your Avenger variant, and you. While your other variant was self-assured, often taking command of a kiss with practiced skill, you, on the other hand, were gentle and tentative. It was evident that you were willing to let Wanda take the lead, which she found incredibly empowering, almost addictive. She knew she should probably take this first kiss slowly for you, however, your submissiveness was simply too delicious for her to pass up such an opportunity.

Long, slender fingers came to rest just under your jaw, firmly holding you close, Wanda using her body to press you harder against the wall, as if trying to merge your two bodies into one. A gasp escaped you at the length of the witch’s body pressed so intimately against you. Wanda, ever opportunistic, took advantage of your open mouth to deepen the kiss, her lithe tongue swiping softly at the seam of your lips in askance. 

You couldn’t even fathom a moment where you would ever deny Wanda this request, opening your mouth to grant her the access she desired. Her skillful tongue sensually slid against yours, eliciting a barely suppressed whimper from you. With a little coaxing Wanda was able to entice your tongues to engage in a seductive dance, leaving you breathless and heady. 

Eventually, the kiss broke, leaving both of you craving more. It had opened the door to a world of possibilities, and in that moment, everything changed. The bond between the pair of you had deepened more than you could know, and more than Wanda had hoped for. Despite initial reservations, your heart knew then you would follow Wanda anywhere, irrevocably tied to the witch forever. There was no one you wanted or trusted more.

While trying to catch your breath, no words were spoken. Taking this moment, your intrusive thoughts began creeping in because of course they were. Desperately you hoped the woman wouldn’t view the kiss as a mistake, praying that you measured up to your superhero counterpart. That you were truly what she had been looking for all this time, even if you weren’t anything special.

You would do anything to have her lips on yours again, and briefly a thought occurred to you that this woman could murder you, and you would probably thank her for the privilege. Therapy, maybe you should ask Wanda if she could get you in to see a therapist, because that wasn’t concerning at all. 

It wasn't in you to feel ashamed just then though, not when the very thought resonated in your soul. Gods, was this what you had been missing your entire life? And it had been right under your nose, for ages you had been unknowingly depriving yourself, hellbent on self-sabotage.

As you finally caught your breath, the witch gazed at you hungrily, causing a shiver to race down your spine.

"What do you want, detka?" Wanda asked, voice sultry. She tilted her head as if curious, but in reality, she was relishing in your disheveled appearance, eyes raking over your blown pupils, and kiss-swollen lips. So responsive for her, and this was only a kiss. Your first kiss with her, to be specific. Wanting to completely ruin you, it took every ounce of self-restraint for Wanda to wait for your answer instead.

Chest heaving, your brain struggled to pull together enough brain cells in order to provide her with an answer. When you finally spoke, your voice had a throaty quality you had never heard before.

”You. I want you.”

Green eyes, the color of jade, sparkled in such delight they could have practically illuminated the room with their vibrant glow. As you stared into her mesmerizing gaze, you got lost in her presence. Your mind was a myriad of thoughts, unable to focus on anything else. Every word she spoke, every movement she made, had a profound impact on you. As if the witch had cast a spell over you, weaving her magic effortlessly, and you willingly succumbed to her enchantment, eager to be under her captivating influence. 

A mischievous smile played upon her lips, adding an air of mystery to her already enchanting demeanor. The grin hinted at the hidden depths within her, the playful intentions that lied just beneath the surface. So, as Wanda’s mischievous smile lingered, you couldn't help but be drawn further into her web of enchantment, willingly surrendering yourself to the metaphorical spell she had cast.

"Oh, lyubov, will you let me ruin you?" she asked teasingly, her voice filled with impishness and a hint of excitement.

Swallowing nervously, you felt desire building deep within you. Your experiences in this matter were limited, but you trusted the former avenger all the same. Still, you had a sneaking suspicion that whatever Wanda had in store for you would likely test your limits, even if you had no idea what those were yet. Eagerly, you nodded, ready to throw yourself headlong into this unknown, trusting the witch implicitly.

The moment her silky lips met yours once again, a hunger ignited within her, surprising both of you with its intensity and passion. Wanda pulled you close, her fingers curled in your hair, keeping you in place as she plundered your mouth. You could do little but let her lead the way, trying not to embarrass yourself with how much she was turning you on. Her sharp teeth tugged on your lower lip before biting down hard enough to draw blood. A pitiful whine was barely restrained by you as Wanda lapped at the new wound she had caused.

Deciding to test your boundaries during the kiss, the redhead gently wrapped her other hand around your throat. Not tight enough to cut off your oxygen supply, but the pressure did restrict some of the blood flow to your brain, leaving you in a deliciously foggy haze. A breathy moan escaped you, which Wanda eagerly swallowed as you gladly ceded control of the kiss to her. Pride out the window, you were no longer capable of trying to withhold any sounds she could draw from you. Wanda found it delightful that so far you were proving to be the perfect little котёнок for her. The redhead eagerly anticipated discovering what other surprises you had in store for her.

The other hand not on your neck moved from your hair down to the first button of your shirt and hesitated. “Is this okay, Y/N?” She asked, voice surprisingly soft for someone who currently had one of their hands wrapped around your neck.

Sluggish thoughts hazy with lust, you nodded with what would have probably counted as an embarrassing amount of enthusiasm. Having someone as gorgeous as Wanda in front of you, asking for your consent, you found you couldn’t be bothered by your eagerness. You were a simp, and you were fine with that. Anything to get more of Wanda touching you.

The former Avenger grinned, finding you utterly adorable. She was charmed by how needy you were for her. Unable to help but revel in the power dynamics between you, relishing the opportunity to challenge your blissed-out mind and watch as you struggled to comply with her demands. It was a delightful game for Wanda, and she was going to have fun training you.

Before she could continue though, the witch wanted you to be absolutely sure. Regardless of how long she had waited for you, if you weren’t truly ready, Wanda didn’t want to push you. She wanted all of you, everything you had to give, but if you still weren’t ready, weren’t sure, she could wait. Wanda would wait forever if she had to. 

 “Lyubov moya, if you want me to stop at any point, just say the word, and I’ll stop immediately, okay? Full stop, I promise, and I won’t be upset with you.” she insisted, voice thick with longing as her nose grazed gently across yours in a reassuring manner. 

Even now, Wanda was always putting your safety and happiness as her top priority, endearing her evermore to you. How could you have ever doubted that this woman had anything but your best interests at heart? The purest of intentions?

Knowing it was a bit over dramatic, while you appreciated her reassurances, if the witch didn’t do something in the next few seconds, you felt like you might combust. Releasing a needy whine, you hoped to convey your desperation to Wanda who only chuckled at your behavior. 

“Relax, malyshka, I’ll take good care of you, I promise. But first, I need you to use your words, darling.” The hand on your throat easing its grip a little, allowing more blood to your brain, giving you back some of your intellectual capacity.

With Wanda’s body covering yours, you petulantly ground against her in the hopes of achieving any sort of friction, causing her lips to quirk upwards in an amused smirk. You weren’t going to get out of this until she had confirmation of your understanding, and if she happened to tease you into a petulant, writing mess in the process, well, that was just the cherry on top.

Giving in, you let out a keening whimper. “I understand Wands, please. Just touch me. Please!”

A wolfish grin overtook Wanda’s face at your begging. Green eyes locked with yours, and she could see the desire and longing in your eyes, mirroring her own. The way you looked at her, with a mixture of vulnerability and trust, made her heart flutter with a sense of joy and fulfillment. You were willing to surrender yourself to her guidance, to allow her to take the lead and shape you into the person she knew you could become. That kind of implicit trust and faith you had in her shot her arousal through the roof.

With each passing moment, Wanda's excitement grew, knowing that she had the opportunity to train and mold you into her perfect little котёнок. She relished the thought of all the fun games that lay ahead, confident in her ability to guide you towards your full potential. Your willingness to submit to her desires fueled her passion, making her all the more determined to own you completely. This power was the ultimate high, and she didn’t think she could ever get enough of it.

Her hand moved from your throat to wrap around your waist with a firm yet gentle grasp, pulling you closer to her in an undeniable display of ownership. The touch of her hand on your hip sent a surge of adrenaline coursing through your veins, igniting a fire within you that you had never experienced before. It was a possessiveness that transcended the boundaries of mere desire, a possessiveness that spoke volumes about the depth of her emotions for you.

Far from being suffocating, her dominance was a testament to the strength of your bond. A tangible manifestation of the passion that burned between the two of you, it was a flame that only grew stronger with each passing moment. Her assertive touch was a declaration, a proclamation of her utter devotion and fierce protectiveness towards you.

In that instant, you couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the intensity of her feelings. A sensation that both thrilled and comforted you, it was a magnetic pull that drew you closer to her with each passing second. Feeling as if you were the center of her universe, the focus of her unfaltering attention, and you visibly preened under her attentiveness. Your hands which were clenching the bottom of her shirt held fast, unwilling to let her move more than a few inches away.

Now that she had your consent and had subtly established your place with her, Wanda's svelte hands returned to the task of unbuttoning your shirt. Unable to resist the allure of your lips for long, she passionately kissed you once again. As your lips moved against each other with a sensual rhythm, Wanda swiftly unbuttoned your shirt. Before you knew it, your shirt was completely undone, revealing your torso to her exploring hands. A shiver ran through your body as her slightly cool palm pressed against your abdomen for the very first time, the gravity of her body pressing you further into the wall. While you had felt her touch on your skin before, it had never been this intimate, this exhilarating.

As her hand glided over your bare skin, heat coursed through your body, the sensation sending shivers down your spine. The flames within you steadily stoked by every caress. Your breath hitched as her touch lingered, tracing delicate patterns along your abdomen.

Growing desperate you deepened the kiss. Your hands instinctively reach for her, moving from the hem of her shirt to tangle in her hair as you pull her closer. The magnitude of the moment was almost too much, feeling the desire consuming you from within.

Wanda's lips slid against yours with a fervent hunger. Her roving hands continued their journey, tracing every curve and contour of your torso with an almost reverent touch, sending pleasure coursing through your body. As your lips moved in perfect synchrony, heightening your senses, it left you yearning for more. The room was filled with a heady mix of desire and anticipation, as you both gave in to the draw of the moment..

Lost in the haze of passion, you couldn't help but give yourself completely to Wanda's touch. The way she explored every inch of your body with a delicate yet possessive hand left you breathless, craving more of her commanding aura. It was a dance of pleasure and surrender, a symphony of sensations that left you craving her touch like a drug. You had never needed anyone or anything as much as you needed Wanda to continue doing whatever she wanted to you.

As the kiss broke, both of you gasped for air. Wanda, still breathing heavily, leaned back to take in the sight of your newly revealed skin, her eyes darkening with want. Though never having been confident in your own body, often choosing to cover up, to hide in your self-consciousness, the way Wanda was looking at you now though left no doubt she liked what she saw. Yet still your insecurities plagued you, especially now that you were no longer covered up and there was nothing for you to hide behind.

The witch didn’t need to read your mind to know where your thoughts were going. The expression on your face, the way you tried to curl in on yourself made it plain. Voice thick with desire, Wanda needed to reassure you. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Y/N. Don’t ever let yourself believe otherwise.”

Though you didn’t truly believe her words, her tone and the way she held you like she couldn’t get enough was almost capable of convincing you in and of itself. You decided then that throwing yourself into this was the fastest way to get out of your head. Throwing caution to the wind, you slammed your lips against Wanda’s again, desperate for more of her.

Impatient, you couldn't resist the urge to guide Wanda's hands lower, craving for her to touch you more. Deft fingers brushed against a particularly sensitive spot, sending a surge of pleasure  shooting through you, and tearing a quiet gasp from your mouth. Your body responded eagerly to her every caress, arching into her hands, silently begging for more. Emboldened by your response, Wanda's touch grew daring, her kisses to your neck pressing harder leaving red welts that would purple over by tomorrow. Her marks on you would tell all who you belonged to. Her fingers began exploring your body with a newfound confidence. The touch was both gentle and possessive, leaving you with the utter clarity that she wanted to mark every inch of you as her own, even the parts of you no one else would ever see.

The room was filled with the sound of your shared breaths, heavy with desire. Feeling the urgency building within you, your body pressed closer to Wanda's, seeking to ease some of the pressure within. Her touch was all at once overwhelming yet not enough.

Determined to elicit every delicious sound she could from you, one of Wanda's hands finally moved to your breast. Gently she cupped it while her thumb teased you by gliding around your areola, avoiding your hardened bud. She took great enjoyment in your whimpers and gasps as she teased you. If she had it her way, she would keep you like this, never giving you quite what you wanted. Wanda would ease you into that eventually though. For now, this was enough.

Eventually she had mercy on you, letting her thumb lightly graze across your nipple. A deep, throaty groan emanated from within you, your hips bucking against hers, unbidden. Taking the opportunity you had presented her with, Wanda slotted her knee between your thighs, applying firm pressure just where you needed it most. You whispered an exhaled curse as your head slumped forward onto the older woman’s shoulder. Your grip on her tightened, the urge to just rut against Wanda’s leg nearly overpowering what little was left of your rational mind.

Wanda could feel the subtle grinding of your hips against her leg, and she encouraged it, pressing harder each time you arched towards her. The witch grasped your hips firmly, helping to set your rhythm as you desperately sought more friction between the apex of your thighs.

For someone who hadn't even taken off their pants yet, you were surprisingly worked up, but you were far too focused on chasing your high to be overly concerned about it. Sensing how close you were, Wanda pulled away from you, calling forth a keening whine from you. The older woman chuckled softly at your desperation. Her raspy voice next to your ear made you shudder. 

"Patience, dorogoya, I don't want you to come just yet unless it's in my mouth or on my fingers."

Wholly unprepared for her words as you were, they almost single-handedly threatened to ruin the witch’s plans as you nearly came on the spot. Wanda was aware that you had likely never edged before, and while she should have shown some mercy, she found no enjoyment in that prospect. Her intention was to have you so drunk for her to the point where you would become a helpless, trembling wreck, willing to do anything she desired just to reach that peak. Then, she planned to repeatedly push you off that ledge so many times that you would be a boneless, quivering mess for her by the time she was done with you.

As her words hung in the air, you felt a mixture of anticipation and hesitation. This was a new territory for you, one that you weren't entirely sure of what you were getting into. But as you looked into Wanda's eyes, filled with desire and a touch of mischief, you couldn't deny your feelings. You wanted to experience everything she was willing to show you, to give yourself fully and trust in her to guide you through this journey of pleasure.

With a deep breath, you nodded, your voice barely above a whisper, "I trust you, Wanda."

A smug smile played on Wanda's lips as she gently held your cheek. "Good," she purred, her voice laced with satisfaction. "I promise you won't regret it. Now, let’s take this to the bed.” She didn’t want your first time together to be rutting up against a wall.

Wanda grasped your hand, leading you the remainder of the distance to your shared bed. Once there the witch assisted you in removing the remnants of your clothes, gently pushing you backwards onto the bed. Before joining you, she took a moment to admire your naked body, as you looked up at her with a combination of desire and excitement. You were uncertain of her intentions, but the fact that you were willing to trust her filled Wanda's heart with joy.

With a gaze that could only be described as ravenous, she studied you and quietly uttered a curse. "Fucking exquisite" she husked, hoping to drive home her words from earlier.

Squirming under her intense gaze, you blushed deeply at her compliment. No one had ever called you that before, not in your entire life. The longer you laid there, alone under her scrutiny, the greater your need for Wanda grew. Before you could ask her to rejoin you, she was already removing her own clothes with purpose. You waited with bated breath, as Wanda revealed her body which you swore could have been sculpted by Michelangelo himself. Honestly, you thought it was a little unfair for someone to look so perfect. You felt absolutely privileged to be in this moment with her, that she had chosen you of all people to witness her glory. No one you had ever seen, in person or even on tv could compare. Wanda was a goddess, and you wanted to worship at her altar.

The redhead knew she was an attractive woman, but your loud thoughts were giving her quite the ego boost. She had you right where she wanted you, but Wanda would be damned if she allowed your self-deprecation to continue. There was not a single doubt in her mind that you were equally deserving to be here with her.

“Your thoughts are loud, malyshka.” She almost giggled at how red your face turned when she called you out, reminding you of her powers, and your gaze dropped.

 “While I’m flattered, darling, you need to know.” Wanda said with certainty as she began crawling up the bed towards you. Once she had crawled up the length of your body, the witch trailed her fingertips along your thigh, and up your torso to your face. Curling a graceful finger under your chin, she tilted your face upwards until you made eye contact.

“You are stunning, lyubov moya. There is no one else I would want to be here with right now. Not in the entire multiverse, believe me, I’ve looked. No one but you. Can you trust me on that, Y/N?”

Green eyes searched Y/E/C for any sign of lingering insecurity. With the witch looking at you so earnestly, your doubts faded into the background. They would likely never be completely silent, but in this moment, those thoughts were just white noise. Speaking was currently too difficult for you so instead you simply nodded at her words.

No longer able to hear your uncertainty as loudly, Wanda felt you were ready to continue. “Good, but just to make sure, I’m going to show you.”

Before you could ask what she meant, Wanda kissed you again. Her hand, which was previously under your chin, caressed down your chest and cupped your breast. She gave it a gentle squeeze, causing a soft sound to escape your throat.

As Wanda's touch re-ignited the flicker of pleasure within you, her lips and tongue traced a path of heated kisses down your neck, leaving a hot trail of saliva behind. Her skilled hand continued to explore your body, evoking an oeuvre of gasps and moans. Eventually, her lips settled on one of the places you desired the most, enveloping your nipple.

Once Wanda's lips closed around your hardened bud, a jolt of pleasure shot through your body, causing you to arch your back in response. Her tongue teased and circled the sensitive bud, sending ecstasy pulsating through your veins. While Wanda continued to lavish attention on your aching nipple, her other hand trailed down your body, caressing and exploring every inch of your skin. The combination of her skilled touch and the intense pleasure coursing through your body made it difficult to think or focus on anything else. 

Her hand continued its exploration, gliding over your skin with a feather-light touch. Every brush of her fingertips, each flick of her tongue against you sent your arousal to new heights. Your senses were completely consumed by her, the world around you fading once again into a distant blur.

Completely at Wanda's mercy, you found yourself basking in her every touch and caress. The pleasure she was bestowing upon you was the best high you had ever felt, addictive and irresistible. Your mind was filled with a primal need, a craving for more of the pleasure that only she could provide.

Wanda switched breasts, moving to lavish attention on the other one ensuring it didn't feel neglected. Her hand continued to tease your flesh, raising goosebumps to form on your skin. 

Unable to sit still, your own hands came up to tangle themselves in the redhead’s hair. Head held firmly in place by you, Wanda's hand slid lower, exploring the wetness that had pooled between your thighs. Svelte fingers teased your entrance, and you gasped as the anticipation nearly undid you.  Back arched, begging for more, you whispered a “please!”

Helpless to deny your plea, Wanda's fingers dipped inside you, your slick allowing them to slide in with ease. You moaned lowly as she began to move her fingers in a slow, deliberate rhythm, curling and stroking against your most sensitive spots. The pleasure built within you, radiating through your body like an electric current.

Your hands tightened in her hair, pulling her closer to you as your hips instinctively rocked against her hand, seeking deeper pleasure. Wanda matched your movements, her pace increasing, driving you closer to the edge. Her lips found yours once again, swallowing your moans as the pleasure consumed you.

The room was filled with the sound of your shared breaths, the wet, almost obscene sound of her fingers moving inside you, and the symphony of your pleasure. Each stroke of her fingers sent you spiraling further into this rapturous euphoria, your body trembling with desire.

Lost in the carnality of the moment, you could feel the heat building within you, the pressure mounting until you were teetering on the edge. Sensing your imminent release, Wanda's fingers quickened their pace, driving you towards oblivion. Moans growing louder, they mingled with the sound of your ragged breaths.

“Are you gonna come for me baby?” She asked, voice dripping sweetly with lust, not letting up the pace even a little. The woman knew what she was doing to you, and couldn’t resist drawing it out just a bit. 

Beneath her, you squirmed and bucked in place, desperation eeking off you in waves. You hadn’t exactly had many partners to begin with, and you had certainly never been especially vocal with any of them. Wanda couldn't have you being all shy on her now though. She wanted to hear each and every sound she could possibly draw out of you as proof of how good she was making you feel, her fingers hitting that special spot deep inside of you that had always been just out of your own reach.

“Now dorogaya, use your words. Are you going to be a good girl and come for me? If you can’t answer me then I guess I should stop.” Wanda slowed her pace and you all but wailed your frustration.

“Yes, yes I’m going to come. I’m so close, Wands, please don’t stop!”

Truthfully that should have been enough for her but sadistically she wanted to push your boundaries further still. She smirked at your pleas. 

“I won’t stop, Y/N, but you can’t come until I give you permission.”

You didn’t think you had ever been on such a precipice of euphoria before. It was right there if only Wanda would let you. Part of you wanted to ignore what she said and let yourself go, but the part of you that yearned to be good for her won out in the end. 

You begged pitifully. “Please Wanda, please let me come! I’ll be your good girl, please, just let me come!” You would say anything the woman wanted as long as she would let you finally finish.

It was positively sinful how your submission made Wanda feel. She wanted to experience you like this every day for the rest of your lives. The tremor of your voice as you begged, how quickly and completely you accepted her commands, it was positively sublime.

“Well when you beg so prettily for me, how can I resist? Be a good girl, Y/N - come for me.” Her fingers curled deliciously, mercilessly hitting your new favorite spot. 

With Wanda’s permission, the world shattered around you as your orgasm crashed over. Your body convulsed with exquisite hedonism, every nerve ending alive with sensation. Wanda's name were the only words from your mouth as you rode the high, your orgasm careening over you in a tidal wave of pleasure.

For Wanda, feeling your wet heat tighten around her fingers, practically refusing to allow her to pull back to even help you through your peak, was so perfect. You didn’t know it, but it was enough to make Wanda topple over the edge alongside you, her head dropping to the crook of your neck while she whispered sweet nothings in your ear, struggling to bring you gently down from your high. 

As the aftershocks of your release subsided, Wanda gently withdrew her fingers, her touch lingering for a moment before she pressed a soft kiss to your lips. She held you close, her presence a comforting anchor as you came down from the heights of pleasure. You whimpered at the feeling of emptiness after being so joyously full.

Breathless and sated, you nestled into her embrace, feeling a profound sense of contentment and connection. And as you lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, you felt that this was just the beginning of something beautiful between you both. You had made the decision to trust Wanda with your body, heart, and soul, and in this moment, everything felt so right.

Wanting to return the favor, and make Wanda feel as good as you did, but as you tried to shift in her embrace, the former avenger simply held you tighter. Feeling rejected, you wilted in her arms. Perhaps you had already failed to live up to her expectations, so much so that she didn’t even want you to touch her. How heartbreaking to have failed so soon, to never get the chance to prove yourself.

Voice soft, Wanda alleviates your fears. “Not tonight, darling. Tonight was all about you. Rest with me for a little while, detka, I just want to hold you. May I do that, Y/N?”

Murmuring a quiet assent, you settled into the comfort Wanda provided. You both laid there, basking in the intimacy you both had just shared, feeling content and happy. It wasn’t long until your eyes began to droop, signifying you were about to nod off.

Sensing how close you were to sleep, the witch gently roused you. She giggled at your grumblings for the disruption but insisted you both needed to clean up. Shaking your head, you whined as you tried to hold her in place with you, unwilling to let her go for any reason. Wanda  had to actively restrain herself from cooing at your adorable stubbornness.

“Come on now, it’ll be just a few minutes and then we can go back to sleep, okay darling?”

Petulantly you shook your head, and Wanda full on belly laughed, holding you tightly to her while she did so. Her laughter was infectious, and you couldn’t help but chuckle as well, knowing you were being a bit ridiculous.

Eventually, both of you calmed down, and Wanda pulled away from your embrace, mentioning that she would be right back. You let her go, but you pouted the entire time she was in the bathroom. After a few moments, you could hear the sink running, and then the witch returned to you with a warm, damp washcloth in her hand. With an unprecedented level of care, Wanda cleaned between your legs, removing any trace of the night's activities, while being mindful not to overstimulate you.

“There we go, detka. All clean. Let me just throw this in the sink, and we can go to sleep.”

Doing exactly as she had said, Wanda quickly returned, swiftly maneuvering her way into the cozy bed beside you. With a few gentle movements, she skillfully arranged the soft sheets to envelop both of you, creating a warm and comfortable cocoon.

Once she was finished setting up the sheets, you wasted no time in crawling back into her arms, burying your face into the divot where her neck and shoulder met. You felt like you had been through the wringer, but in the best way. When she had gotten up to clean you both, with her no longer being in your arms, your emotions had run all over the place. Now all you wanted was to be as physically close to the redhead as possible, to reassure yourself that she wasn’t abandoning you after such a vulnerable act.

Wanda was not at all opposed. Quite thrilled in fact, and as she held you, one hand came to gingerly trace random shapes along the side of your face, whispering nonsensical words of love and solace. Pillowy lips placed a soft kiss to your forehead.

As you drifted off to sleep, feeling safer and happier than in your entire life, you heard Wanda whisper in her native tongue. You were curious, but too far gone to ask her what she meant.

“я так люблю тебя, дорогая. (I love you so much, darling.) I promise I will always keep you safe, and I will never let you go.”

A/N 2: ... Why do I have a higher word count for a chapter with smut than any other chapter? .... Reasons. We're going with "reasons". So uhhh... yay? nay? Yeet myself off a cliff? Also if anyone wants to be added to the taglist just lemme know in the comments.

Taglist: @dorabledewdroop

[suzukiblu]

I just discovered your writing recently and it has been glorious! Thank you so much! I'm particularly a fan of your Billy raising Kon, and Billy/Damian soulmates works. I'm agog at your writing output and wanted to ask, how/when do you write so much? And secondarily, do you track your word count? How much do you actually write per week/month/year/arbitrary unit of time?

Thank you, glad to hear you're enjoying it! The Billy works do tend to come out pretty well for me, hah, just somethin' about the lil' dude I guess. 😆

also uh

also imma just put this ridiculously long response to those questions behind a cut, hahaha, save everyone some scrolling as needed.

Disclaimer one: I did NOT mean to write this much but sometimes I just get INTO answering a question, haha, sooooo either I'm sorry or you're welcome, depending on how much information you actually wanted here? And I just didn't wanna downplay or over-simplify my response and potentially make anyone reading it feel bad about not being as stupid-productive at their thing-of-choice as I am at mine, because I am this stupid-productive at my thing-of-choice for SEVERAL reasons and most of them are deliberately-cultivated or deliberately worked-with ones that I like, put a LOT of work into long-term, and the rest are just dumb luck/chance. Like man, I am pushing forty and have literally been very dedicatedly both coming up with and telling stories for longer than I could actually READ, much less write; I have had a LOT of time to learn how to do this shit and I have very autistically DEDICATED a lot of time to learning how to do this shit, hahaha.

Disclaimer two: a SIGNIFICANT chunk of the reason I write so much is a) a convenient dovetail of hyperfocus and hyperfixation, b) I have literally been writing for twenty-five years, give or take some phases of writer's block of varying lengths, c) I'm on my meds and take them religiously, and d) my actual collect-a-paycheck job is only part-time and also lets me write on the clock because there's usually a ton of downtime there. On top of that it's our off-season so we're on reduced hours right now anyway, so I frequently only work two or three days a week and almost always have time to write for at least a couple hours at my desk, and more often have basically my entire SHIFT to write, and frankly I'm probably more productive in the office than I am at home, barring the occasional REAL busy day. Generally when I'm actually locked-in on something I'm working on, an hour of writing time is gonna end up being around 1k in word count for me, and I actually get interrupted less often in the office than I do at home.

Also and VITALLY, I am very much a writer who THRIVES on feedback/communication/other people's interest and I have spent a pretty significant amount of consistent time and effort on doing my best to encourage people on here to talk to me and tell me what they're into and ask me for things on WIP Wednesdays and the writing memes that I do, and the combination of all of that interaction and the AO3 comments I get REALLY fuels me. Like I cannot TELL you how much those things fuel me, hah. Apparently I'm like . . . a decently popular writer, go figure, and I realize this is gonna sound like fake-humble shit but that is genuinely never something I really realize/remember as being a thing until someone gives me a pitying look about how oblivious I am, at which point I realize that no, yeah, most people have way more trouble getting someone to answer their random weird questions about random weird shit at random weird times and most people do NOT get triple-digit comments per chapter on multiple ongoing fics or triple-digit responses on their WIP Wednesdays no matter HOW good the narrative dick is, either metaphorically OR literally.

So like, as stated, I am very appreciation/feedback-oriented as a writer and I get a LOT of appreciation and feedback; I have been very lucky to get a responsive and chatty audience for a lot of my writing, and therefore I write a lot, lot, LOT more than I would otherwise. Legit, I would have gotten bored of/frustrated with SO many of these fics if other people weren't reminding me what I liked about them to begin with and thereby renewing my motivation for and interest in 'em. Like I know EVERYONE has said to death that fandom is a collaborative effort and you don't get fic/art unless you tell writers/artists that you LIKE their fic/art, but if you have ANY doubt of that actually being a thing, I am one of the purest examples of that particular feedback loop that I am aware of, because I write a lot because people engage a lot with my stuff, and people engage a lot with my stuff because I write a lot, so I write MORE, so they ENGAGE more, so it just goes around and around and ends up in insanely prolific amounts of word count and me saying things like "geez did I only write 50k this month, how did I even write THAT little" and genuinely MEANING it.

And like, that's an environment that I have specifically tried to cultivate on this blog, ngl, because I know it's the environment I'll write the best/most in and one that a lot of readers will find rewarding/engaging to participate in and/or follow along with, but obviously it only works because people are willing to do that engaging with me to begin with and thereby are keeping a lot of ideas and WIPs all active in my brain. I have written thousands upon thousands upon THOUSANDS of words because of, like, ONE kind comment or one or two especially invested/appreciative readers peekin' in on the regular or just legit a single friend who likes to cheerlead or that one guy in the back who always perks up when a specific WIP comes up, so like, yeah, very much I am a feedback-loop writer, and very much does the feedback-loop work for my writing process.

Also, I've actively considered myself a writer since I was like fourteen and even before that was already drawing comics/storyboards/sequential art basically from the day I STARTED drawing, and I was ALL the way a "play through storytelling" VORACIOUS reader of a kid, I KILLED every reading challenge I ever did in school/at the library and like, there were literal NARRATIVES to my playtimes, my playtimes were actually straight-up EPISODIC, haha. I legitimately read so much that strangers at the library would low-key try to shade my mom for letting me check out the multiple literal stacks of books that they thought I wasn't gonna get through by their due dates, and meanwhile we'd taken out at LEAST as many the week before and I'd already been bored for two days before we came back for this week's batch. So I am very well-read and very narrative-oriented and really, REALLY experienced at both constructing a narrative and just the actual act of writing, so at this point I intuitively/instinctively know what works to tell a story and have a pretty strong grasp of grammar and spelling, and I know what ( usually ) works to make me write.

I've also done a TON of text-based roleplay/co-writing with people in the past, which definitely has made me a faster and more responsive writer and also taught me a lot about dialogue/exchange and how to avoid weighing a narrative too heavily around one person/point of view even when they're my special fave, hah, and about the concept of unreliable narrators and also, like, just finding somebody to match your freak being WAY more engaging than writing stories that are watered-down one-size-fits-all and therefore not particularly memorable. I also had a "very into poetry" phase during a lot of my more formative years right when I first started writing prose, which I realize SEEMS off-topic, but the poetry phase definitely helped a lot, because, like, it gave me a much better sense of . . . rhythm, let's say? Pacing? So I kind of have a baked-in "beat" in my head to follow when I write, typically, and that helps me write both smoother and faster and just more effectively in general, and also makes it easier for me to get across the mood/emotion/feeling I'm going for.

I also don't edit my stuff all that much most of the time; I'm usually just checking for continuity errors and typos and occasionally adjusting the rhythm/flow of paragraph breaks or swapping out over-used words. Otherwise, though, a LOT of my fic just goes up with zero changes from the first draft, or maybe just a few added sentences to clarify some details and corrected typos. So like, that also means that I spend a whole lot less time on rewriting and editing than a lot of other writers do, which therefore means I have more time to pour into More Words. And I have ascended beyond being over-precious about my writing, FINALLY, and therefore am fine with writing things I think are junk just to get them out of my system and/or make progress in a story and then can revisit them a few days later and be like "actually this is pretty damn good, wtf were you so annoyed by, self, did you just need a snack or something, whatever, WELP we're puttin' this one up!!"

Also: ADHD and autism. It is amazing what ADHD and autism can get out of a guy, for real. Like god DAMN does the ADHD and autism one-two combo really bring it home for me personally, because I am juuuuust autistic enough to not need or want a lot of social out-of-house time and to have incredibly dedicated life-long hyperfixations and I am also so ADHD that my diagnostic paperwork specifically says I have more ADHD than a whole-ass ninety-five percent of the ADHD population and my new psych literally did not believe that anyone would prescribe me as much Adderall as makes me temporarily ALMOST "normal" until we worked our way up to it, and WOW does correctly-channeled hyperfocus really, REALLY pay off in the art of getting real good at doing something and real good at doing that something a LOT.

And eight million words of answer later, yup, I do track my word count! My memory is all over the place ( that being one of the LESS useful aspects of my personal flavor of ADHD/autism, hah ) but I like to have a rough idea of how productive I've been so I don't wither up and die of imposter syndrome. I actually keep a whole-ass yearly spreadsheet with a page dedicated to each month that I update daily with how many words I wrote in which stories, and then I add 'em all up at the end of each week and add 'em up again at the end of the month just to give myself a rough idea of how I'm doing in general.

Which, speaking of, I'm actually WILDLY underproducing this week, seriously, it's already Thursday and I've only written like 6.7k. Which, for reference, I have not written less than 22k a week in the past THREE weeks, and on average I'm usually up in the 16-18k area. Like, if I only write 10k in a week or write less than 2k in a day, that seems like not all that much to me, and I write EVERY day. Like. Every day. Literally every day. Every day EVER, or I get the friggin' itch about it and get cranky; it is legit a compulsion for me at this point in my life. I wrote when I had fucking COVID last month and only missed any days that month at all because I had to drive four hours out of town immediately after recovering from said COVID, and that was the first time I'd missed even a SINGLE day in I'm pretty sure LITERAL months, and I STILL topped out above the high end of my usual monthly word count, which is on average about 70-75k. And last year I only tracked my word count from mid-June to December, I actually wasn't keeping track at all before that, but I wrote 410k in those six-ish months.

So like . . . I did mention the ADHD and autism, yes? I mentioned those things as being things?

No reason. Just wondering.

[moyazaika]

heyy genie, how r u doing??? i hope ur okay

can i ask u on how u do dialogue?? bc mine really sucks and whenever i look at yours im like wow. how can i do that??? bc wat tje characters say end up blowing my mind a little.

i also hope u don't mind that i go over ur writing and see what u do (obv not stealing the words) so i can adapt it into my own style 💓

all good with me nonnie, and i appreciate you for letting me know. i don't mind if you analyse anything i've written, it's lovely to know that my writing has the ability to inspire someone else's creativity :)

haha thank u sm. if i'm being honest dialogue drives my work so it's usually the first thing i put down in any new google doc and then the rest of the story i'm trying to tell sort of grows from that point.

regardless, here are some things to consider.

where is the dialogue coming from?

do you have any accents you like? changing words in small ways like turning darling to darlin' can build on characterisation and introduce variety into the dialogue.

is your character of a certain culture? introducing petnames or phrases from foreign languages adds flavour to dialogue. this one is risky and requires a little research, because doing it wrong may make readers cringe. but hey, high risk high reward ;)

even if you use 'normal' english, take a look at distinctive slang. there's a difference between calling it a flat or an apartment; a bird or a chick. using one or the other puts some pizazz into your writing, because it actually sounds like the speech is coming from your characters, and not just from you.

2. who is the dialogue coming from?

a character that's nineteen is going to speak really differently than a character who's forty-two. consider the simple sentence, "you're mine" and then the different ways that idea can be conveyed without making both of these vastly different characters say the same thing (which can potentially read as unrealistic, but not always. some 42 year olds are immature. some 19 year olds speak like poets. use at your own discretion) but here's an example;

19 -> "get that through your fuckin' head, babe. you belong to me." comes off as possessive, entitled, crude. then you can solidify your characterisation through their dialogue and make conversation flow by adjusting your darling's personality/speech in response to that. see the end of this post for interesting dynamics!

42 -> "you poor thing, nobody else would accept you as i have." comes off as benevolent, and somewhat infantilising. no 20-something year old is talking like that LOL

3. why is there a need for dialogue?

this one is straightforward, but can be difficult to actually implement. not all dialogue needs to serve some grand purpose in the machination of your narrative, i know that i'm guilty of indulging in a good one-liner, but it helps if you know why they're talking. what are you trying to tell me or show me that can't be depicted through their actions?

example; character A wants character B to be scared of them -> "my, aren't you a clever thing. did you figure all of that out yourself, hm? i'd almost be impressed if i weren't so fucking angry, love."

comes off as patronising, interrogative, makes me think B is on thin ice.

character C wants character D to not be scared of them -> "well, i always knew you were smart, so i suppose i can only blame myself. um, maybe just don't let it happen again. please?"

comes off as pleading, apologetic, makes me believe D has the upper hand. (but the fun part about writing is you can always flip the script later on—gap moe/contrast between actions and words. did C really aim to just forgive D or merely wanted to manipulate them into bringing their guard down?)

even if both A and C say the same thing (such as "i love you") the dialogue, seemingly simple, can open up some interesting exchanges and conversations depending on the situation and context its said in. dialogue works in tandem with action.

A; "i love you," he murmurs. you watch the expert way in which he wields the butcher's knife; cuts the beef down into smaller strips with deft, practiced hands. "yeah," you smile. "i know you do."

C; "i love you," he murmurs. you look down at him, on his knees. his arms cling onto you with fervent desperation, and when you reach for his face; you find him shivering. "yeah," you smile. "i know."

4. dialogue dynamics

since you're asking me for advice and i am a yandere oc blog, i'm going to give you some relationship dynamics to test out with darlings that can serve as a sort of structure for any dialogue you might wanna write in the future. it's easier to know what a character would say in a conversation or scene if there's a dynamic already present that may dictate how they act.

pleading/apprehensive. desperate for affection/selfish bastard. pathetic/apathetic. control freak/couldn't care less. bossy/outwardly timid, inwardly very opiniated. dominant/bratty. powerful/pissed off at the extent of said power. lazy genius/try-hard failure. ambitious/exhausted.

it's also interesting to turn the tables and subvert traditional archetypes. manipulate your readers. have dialogue mean nothing. characters say one thing but mean something else.

above everything else, treat it like a real conversation. if something sounds rigid and forced, scrap it; never force dialogue. (unless that's the sort of awkward vibe ur going for) always try to write from your character's povs' rather than as the author.

and don't forget to have the time of your fucking life. writing should be fun. make your characters say shit you wanna say. make them say shit you wish someone would say to you. make them say shit you never want anyone to tell you in your life. make characters respond in ways you would never dare to irl. make them respond rudely, nicely, strangely, or not at all.

HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and good luck <3

[zyhkoo]

🎬 zyhkoo’s movie theater ☆

october event

{ ticket status: open }

🍿 THEATRE RULES

i’ve been writing dc for a while and wow, i’m getting a lot of attention haha. anyways, heres my first event! i might extend this to november considering i can’t write every single day. october is coming, and its my birth month! also a very creative day for writers, so i wanted to do something. thank you for everyone who liked and reblogged my works!

🎞️ HOW IT WORKS

i will be listing themes, prompts, faves, settings. all you need to do is send me an ask and your ideas!

i do not have a limit on how many fics im writing, but i will write as much as i can!

please expect delayed responses, i am a busy person and i only do this for fun.

i will be choosing what’s in my askbox, so there may be a chance i won’t be able to do yours, but no worries! send as much as asks as you want.

i will only do one prompt, if i like yours a lot i might do two. i will cross out the prompts i have already done

word limit will be 1k-8k depending on my mood.

i accept anon asks of course, but i prefer answering from non-anons.

i think..i’ll do spicy fic? it really depends, but i’ll add it as an option anyway. i’ll be likely to not choose it.

i accept platonic requests! i love platonic dynamics.

last but not the least.. i will be using songs i like as prompts! hope you enjoy.

🍿 CURRENTLY SHOWING

ticket format: character, prompts, setting, your ideas.

🎥 ACTORS

characters available: bruce wayne, dick grayson, jason todd, tim drake, cassandra cain, stephanie brown, barbara gordon, damian wayne, kate kane, koriand’r, raven, wally west, roy harper, zatanna zatara, selina kyle, donna troy, conner kent.

📼 PLOTS

type of fic: fluff, angst, headcanons, nsfw, platonic

📀 MOVIES

list of prompts

falling behind ー laufey

promise ー laufey

lovesick ー laufey

second best ー laufey

fragile ー laufey

daylight ー taylor swift

casual ー chappell roan

still into you ー paramore

the night we met ー lord huron

mr. loverman ー ricky montgomery

champagne problems ー taylor swift

i can do it with a broken heart ー taylor swift

buy the stars ー marina

love. ー wave to earth

enchanted ー taylor swift

hot to go! ー chappell roan

my love mine all mine ー mitski

me and my husband ー mitski

i won’t say im in love (im in love) ー hercules

astronomy ー conan gray

heather ー conan gray

all too well ー taylor swift

cardigan ー taylor swift

boats and birds ー gregory and the hawk

roommates ー malcom todd

die with a smile ー lady gaga & bruno mars

good luck, babe! ー chappell roan

stella brown ー jelani aryeh

a night to remember ー beabadobee & laufey

send my heart with a kiss ー stephan sanchez

glue song ー beabadoobee

sparks ー coldplay

yellow ー coldplay

nothing ー bruno major

dandelions ー ruth b.

paper rings ー taylor swift

too sweet ー hozier

like real people ー hozier

angel baby ー troye sivan

strawberries and cigarettes ー troye sivan

guilty as sin? ー taylor swift ft. jason todd

love like you ー rebecca sugar

pretty please ー dutch melrose & benny mayne

🎥 TICKET EXAMPLE

‘ for your event can i have bruce with ー me and my husband and fluff and (your idea here) ‘

thats all, please enjoy!

[sugarfluffandallthatgoodstuff]

Through a clearer lens

Chuuya x idol!reader

5154 words

Y/N’s pov

Working for the port mafia isn’t easy.

Especially when you are in show biz as an idol and in love with your superiors

And the one you are hopelessly crushing on is perfect in every way, and you aren’t 

What good am I if I don’t even do the same level of work as everyone else?

What does the boss see in me? All I do is dress in short skirts and heels to dance around, give my best fake smile, and sing for people, hoping to make them happy as I stand near the back of the formation, knowing I’ll never be good enough to be the face of our group.

Sure, my ability is terrifying in its power, but what good is it if all I do is hurt people and can only safely use it to perform and project the image of a joyful star on them?

How could I ever be good enough? Sure, I’m the tallest in our group at 5’6”, but I’m also the fattest at 115 lbs and the youngest at 19 years old.

I’m just standing outside the doors that separate me from the boss as I go in for my monthly check-in with him about what I’ve acquired from being an idol of other groups and what I can tell him about them.

As I stand there contemplating opening the door and doing what I must or making the risky decision to leave my boss high and dry since I have nothing of use to contribute this time, I hear a voice behind me. 

“Are you just going to stand there all day, or will you go in?”

I turn around to find the source of the voice and nearly faint seeing Chuuya fucking Nakahara standing about 7 feet behind me. 

“Well?”

I put on my best performance smile like he didn’t almost make me jump so high I could’ve hit the ceiling and looked at him.

“My apologies, Mr.Nakahara. If you have business with the urgent boss, you are welcome to go in front of me.”

He looked at me exasperated.

“You’ve been standing there for 30 minutes.”

Fuck I think he saw through me.

“Really?! I must have forgotten the time again. You can go in front of me if you’d like!” I say, trying to lay on the performance thicker

“I’d go in if I were you because making the boss wait will have consequences for you,” he said, looking done with me and my shit. 

Did I mention I had a crush on Chuuya?

“No, really, Mr.Nakahara, it’s nothing I don’t mind! I know you’re an executive, so your business will be more important than mine,” I said, smiling at him, using as much charm as I could to buy myself time. 

“You know what fuck this” and he breezes past me, and I think I won.

Haha

Wrong

He fucking breezed past me and smoothly grabbed me by the back of my collar and drag me in in there himself.

“H-hey, what are you doing!?” I say as I try to break myself free from his grasp

“If you’re not going to do it yourself, I’ll make you do it.”

“N-no, really it’s fine, don’t worry about it-ack!”

He stops long enough not to choke me, and I take that chance to yank my collar out and run the other way.

But I’m not fast enough as he’s already back next to me, sweeping my legs out from underneath me.

I fell straight on my ass and was now staring up at the ceiling, confused as to what the hell just happened, and he came back into view. 

“You’ve got some nerve to defy orders, don’t you, missy”

“I’m sorry I didn’t try to make you mad. I just wanted to be polite and let you go first!”

He just sighs at me and holds his hand out for me to take 

“How about this: we go in together, and you don’t escape again, or you face the consequences from me, got it?”

“F-fine, but I can get up myself. I don’t want to pull you down with me accidentally.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” He says, looking at me like I’ve grown three more heads

“I’m kind of heavy and don’t want to strain you, sir, b-but don’t worry, I’m working on losing weight!”

“I was just dragging your ass, and you’re super light. What the hell are you on about?”

Fuck he’s going to see right through me.

“You shouldn’t be ashamed about your weight. I find tiger stripes on women's bodies attractive.”

AYO, WHAT?? HAS HE NEVER HEARD OF IDOL BEAUTY STANDARDS?!

“Wait, what did you say?”

“Well I’ve seen your music videos and always thought you had c-cute chubby cheeks and attractive tiger stripes. You shouldn’t be ashamed, and it’s your body.” he muttered looking pretty sheepish and was…blushing?

“B-but the idol industry is super strict about what an idol is supposed to look like and weigh! I’m at least 15lbs overweight for idol standards!”

“HOW MUCH DO YOU EVEN WEIGH?!”

“…115lbs…”

“Aren’t you like 5’6 ?!”

“Yeah, so?

“Bitch that’s normal weight. What are you on about??”

“My manager said I had to lose weight because I was starting to look fat. He also said I need to either get a boob job or start B-Vitality to make my boobs bigger.”

“What the fuck?! How old even are you kid?!.” he looked both mortified and disgusted 

“What?!”

“I asked how old you are”

“Oh I’m 19 sir”

He took a breath and adjusted himself 

“Why don’t you just quit then?”

“w-what?!”

“I said you should just quit. It doesn’t seem to be doing you any favors”

“I don’t think that’s the problem since I do love performing and love being in my current group

“That’s why I was going to meet with the boss today. To ask if I could use some of my idol earnings to get a boob job to be good enough for my manager finally.”

“Are you crazy?An invasive and potentially life-threatening surgery? And for what?”

“To be prettier and more eye-catching to make a better performance! I don't expect you to understand, which is fine because you’re already gorgeous and perfect!”

There was a moment of dead silence. Like the room had the life sucked out of it. 

He looked me in the eyes and could probably see the black stars that now occupied where my normal pupils were 

I knew this because I could see myself in his glossy aquamarine eyes.

I stood up from where I had been sitting. 

“I’m sorry for burdening you with my problems, Mr.Nakahara. I sh-should go now.” I started to walk away do something I regretted

“And just where do you think you’re going L/N?” he said grabbing my wrist with his gloved hand

“It’s not your place to know and I’d rather keep you out of it” I said trying to release my wrist from his grasp but I couldn’t 

“I’m not letting you go until you tell the boss what you told me”

“And what’s it to you? If it’s really that pressing you could just tell him yourself. Besides it’s not like it effects you at all” I said trying to now yank my wrist from his grasp

He gripped my wrist tighter and yanked me closer to him so his face was inches from mine 

“It is my business if a subordinate of mine is about to become a second Dazai because of a spiral. I don’t need another suicidal maniac on my hands” 

“It won’t go that far! I just know that I have to be good enough in order to justify me being here on the boss’s payroll and in anyone’s presence! Now let me go before you get roped into this shit too”

Chuuya looked at me in shock and horror as I yanked harder more determined than ever to just get the boss to justify plastic surgery in order to get the port mafia more money and potentially other assets as well

“Yeah no now I know I’m going in there with you” he said as he just started dragging me back to the giant doors where we knew the boss was behind

I have to do something I just know it 

“I’m sorry Mr.Nakahara” I said as I swept his leg 

“OW WHAT THE FUCK”

I started running in other direction when he suddenly caught up to me 

And I heard 2 words that sent a chill down my spine as his hand made contact with my back

“Gravity manipulation”

And suddenly I was on the ground unable to move struggling to fight his ability now as I heard him crouch beside me 

“Unwise move L/N now I have to punish you for directly disobeying an executive”

Surely he didn’t have the authority to kill or maim me right? I don’t think the boss would be very happy about that 

“Relax I’m not going to hurt you in anyway just gonna…make you squirm a little” I swear I think he smiled at that last part

As I struggled against his ability and tried to get away I suddenly was aware of a gloved hand creeping up the front of my shirt and settling right on the side of my belly button

My eyes went wide as I looked up at him in horror 

“W-w-wait I can’t have any bruises or my career is over!”

“What part of ‘I’m not going to hurt you’ did you not understand? Unless you’re trying to get on my nerves”

“N-n-no sir just trying to get on my way and be out of your hair!” I said straining now to get out of his reach 

“No. you’re not going to just weasel your way out of this one sweetheart”

And I didn’t even have time to fire back a good retort before his fingers dug into my midsection and in my (futile) attempt to hold back my laughter I let out a squeak that would make a mouse envious

“Man I should have expected this given how much of a stubborn ass you are rumored to be in enemy interrogations ”

I have to hold my ground or else he’ll find out my weakness

Unless

He’s already found it 

“Well then I guess I can’t be as nice as I was planning on being now can I?”

He then flips me over so now I’m on my back and making direct eye contact with my arms to my chest elbows covering down my ribs 

And then I remember gravity is only up and down not side to side 

So I lengthen my fingers and try to compress myself so he can’t see my face 

“ oh no you don’t” 

AND CHUUYA THE BASTARD PUTS MY ARMS ABOVE MY HEAD

SHIT 

“That’s better. Actually come to think of it you’re awfully quiet, looks like that’s next”

And suddenly he’s straddling me hands on my sides

“W-wait M-mr.Nakahara isn’t this like super unprofessional?!”

“I think you think I give a damn about that shit, and I don’t”

He lifts my shirt up to my bra and I feel the cold air around us hit my now exposed tummy

“Damn you’re skinnier than you let on”

“I’m still not- pfff ahahaha wahaihait nohoho stahahahap” 

He had cut me off by tickling my sides

“That’s a much better sound don’t you think L/N? Instead of you yapping about some non-existent fat and other shit”

“pleaahehehehehese nohhohoo leheehet me gohohoho”

“Hell no I want to see if you can laugh louder and I’m not gonna stop until I’m satisfied”

He then moves his hands to the center of my tummy 

“Pleahehehehehese ihihih’m gohohona behehe lahahahahahate”

“I’m sure he’ll understand since you directly disobeyed an executive. Now tell me Y/N where else are you ticklish? If you tell me I might go easy on you”

Probably shouldn’t have tried to hide my blushing face when he said the acursed t-word because I think that finally clued him in to that being my weakness

“Wait did you just try to hide when I said ‘ticklish’? 

Goddamnit the jig is up

“Nohohoo”

“Lying too?! Wow you are quite brave for the position you’re currently in, oh well guess I’ll have to start exploring”

He moves his wiggling fingers to my poor ribs and at least that spot isn’t as ticklish as my tummy 

“Jeez you could at least laugh a bit more, but i guess I’m not getting the right tickle spot am I”

And him being the sadistic (hot) bastard he is he moves up to my armpits and I can’t hold it anymore 

“WAHAHAHAAHHAHAIT NOHOHOHOHOHT THEHEHEHEHERE PLEAHEHEHEHEHEHEHESE”

“There it is, now tell me why is it that you won’t tell the boss what you told me?”

“NOHOOHHOOO HE CAHAHAHAHAN’T KNOHOHOHOHOW”

“Perhaps you misheard me, WHY won’t you tell the boss”

“I TOHOHOHHOLD YOU HEHEHE JUHUHUHUST CAHAHAN’T”

“Guess I’m gonna have to try something else since you won’t talk” 

“BUHUHUHUT I DIHIHIHID I SWEAHAHAHAR”

“Nice try but you didn’t, and don’t dodge the question”

Suddenly his hands dart to my hips and he’s alternating between squeezing and scribbling

“PLEAHEHEHEHEEHEHASE NOHOHOHHOHOT THERE NOHOHOT THERE PLEAHEHEHEESE”

“Ooh someone’s ticklish here how cute”

Damn him and his suave words

Maybe if i hold in my laugh I can pass out 

I bite onto my shirt in an attempt to maintain some semblance of sanity 

But he’s not having any of that

“Still trying to hold on huh? Must be a big secret if you’re literally trying to bite your tongue, or are you just flustered because you’re embarrassed that some tickling is going to break you?

Fuck he’s reading me like a book, and if it weren’t for his stupid ability I’d have broken free already and ran

“If you think I’m going to let you go soon without getting what I want then you’re an idiot”

He then switches methods again PUTTING A HAND ON MY CHEEK AND HE MOVED MY HEAD TO LOOK INTO HIS EYES AGAIN AAAAAAAAAAA

And while making eye contact he smiles at me evilly and he tickles my tummy again

“Much better, now’s your chance to talk Y/N if you tell me the truth I can make it stop and I won’t tell the boss your little weakness. Here I’ll even let you catch your breath”

“I’m sorry Mr.Nakahara I can’t tell you that but I can tell you that you should stop before you see the rest of my gross ass un-covered body like my armpits that havent’t been shaved in 6 hours not to mention my fat ass hips- WAHAHAAIT I WAHAHAHAHAASN’T DOHHOHOHONE”

“Well it seems like you don’t want to talk so I guess I’ll have to keep going”

And what does he do?

That’s right he pulled my pants down to the panty line to see the gross ass hips that  gotta lose fat from

“All i see is bone what are you talking about” and he shrugs then starts tickling my poor hips again

“Damn you’re way more ticklish here than I originally thought and do you charge fans for these laughs because if they heard them I’m sure people would be showering you in money”

“YOU’RE TAHAHAHALKING LIHIHIKE DAHAHAZAHAHAI SHUHHUHUHUT UHUHUHP”

“HUH?! ME LIKE THAT SUICIDAL ASS?! HELL NO NOW YOU’VE DONE IT MISSY”

GOT HIM

And then he takes off my shoes and socks 

“THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR COMPARING ME TO DAZAI YOU LITTLE TICKLISH ASS” and he digs into the arch of my foot as he says that

“WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAIT IHIHIHHIHIHI’M SOHOHOHHOHOHORY PLEAHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEEHHEEHESE NOHOHOHHOHO MOHOHHOORE IHIHHIHIHI’L BEHEHEEHEHE GOHOHOOD JUHUHUHUHHUST MAHAHAAHKE IT STAHAHAHAHAHAHAP”

“That’s more like it, I guess you can see reason after all”

I tried looking away because I was ashamed at caving so fast and my face definitely showed my embarrassment 

“Now why is it that you won’t tell the boss? What was so bad that it took me tickling you for 15 minutes straight to choke out of you huh?”

He releases his ability and pulls me into a sitting position and cradles my cheek 

“I didn’t want him to say no to what I needed from him if I told him then he would absolutely say no”

“And what is it you wanted from him?”

“For him to approve me getting a tummy tuck, BBL, and boobjob since my managers are unhappy with how I look and I am too I guess. Not to mention my managers are pushing me to do it, something about less brands want partnerships because of their weakest link and fans aren’t buying as much merch” I say as I gently guide his wrist away from my face and look down in shame

He pulls me into a kind of awkward hug 

“Trust me when I say you don’t need that shit because then you’ll look like some gross ass alien and not a person”

“I don’t mean to be rude Mr.Nakahara but I really should go see the boss now since I’m pretty sure I’m late now”

“You do realize it’s fine if you call me by my first name right?”

“A-are you s-sure? It feels wrong since you’re my superior”

“Yeah it’s fine”

“Ok then Chuuya”

“Now let’s go and I swear to god if you make one self deprecating joke or statement I’ll strap every limb and extremity down and I’ll tickle you again until you piss yourself and forget your name”

“Yes Chuuya”

So he drags me to the boss’s door by my collar again and kicks those giant ornate doors open

“Hello Chuuya, I see you’ve brought L/N”

“I believe there’s something I have to tell you that I have just learned about Y/N here about her plans to get a bunch of cosmetic surgery”

“I-in my defense sir it’s necessary to further my career as an idol because the managers aren’t happy with my recent ratings and they also at some point said something about botox or something to make me not look 30 and more my age”

“Interesting that something like that would be proposed to someone so young you’re how old again Ms.L/N?”

“19 sir”

“Oh that’s far too young for cosmetic plastic surgery”

“Wait till you see the twitter comments, they disagree with that statement, and I’ll be honest their critiques make sense”

“Oh? X? And how many of these comments are there?”

“Hundreds at least maybe even thousands”

“And you really believe them?”

“Duh especially since it’s clearly outlined in photos”

“And by that I mean-”

“That’s quite enough Ms.L/N, and to answer your question you are not going to get surgery”

“Boss with all do respect I-” I was cut off by the sound of a throat clearing

“My apologies boss for the interruption but I have an important message to deliver” Hirotsu said approaching our weird little trio with Chuuya still holding me by the back of my shirt

“Oh? And what is this important message that you had involve everyone in this room Hirotsu?”

“Again my apologies, a long time enemy of the Port Mafia is on the move and I have information regarding it that I figured you’d want to see”

“While that is most intriguing I have something else quite important I’m currently attending to, you may go now Hirotsu” and with that Hirotsu came up to the Boss and gave him the envelope in question and was on his way

“As for you ms.L/N given the requests you have brought before me as your doctor I am concerned, involving your interest in the body modifications you want.”

“With all do respect boss what are you talking about? Wanting to be perfect shouldn’t make you concerned” I said trying to at least make him see my side

At that moment I became hyperaware of the fact that I was still being held by the back of my shirt like a kitten being held by its mother and I glanced momentarily to see a very bored(?) Chuuya looking off to the side

At least that’s what I saw because of the angle I had to look from. 

However that was not the case. 

“Ok. I understand. We can begin the procedure now if you’d like”

I look at the boss, flabbergasted. Chuuya looks at him, as if the boss figured out the cure to gaining bitches.

“I’m sorry, what in the actual fuck are you saying? SHE IS 19 FOR CHRIST SAKE SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT SHE REALLY WANTS AND IS BEING MANIPULATED ”

“Oh and you do!? You don’t even know me! So just let me go and do this so I can finally be good enough!”

He looks down at me and uses his other hand to adjust my gaze so it’s directed at him

“I thought our heart to heart earlier was pretty clear about you not going through with those…procedures as well as telling the boss about the other thing”

“No absolutely not! He can’t know! Also put me down your arms are going to get tired!”

“Well if you’re going to be a stubborn jackass about this I guess I’m gonna have to take matters into my own hands” and before he lets go of my shirt he utters those 2 godforsaken words again”

“Gravity manipulation”

And I get launched into the ground unable to get up or move and he takes a few steps forward

“Boss Ms.L/N is hiding something else from you that I got out of her earlier” Chuuya said looking back at me smirking

“No wait Chuuya I-” I tried to reach forward but my arm slammed down because of his ability

“Too late for that sweetheart, you had your chance”

“Interesting, I don’t recall Ms.L/N ever lying to me or omitting anything” the boss said to Chuuya while strangely looking directly at me with this weird grin on his face

“She told me that her managers are pressuring her into this surgery and using data and other’s feelings to sway her in their interest and convince her” Chuuya said looking back at the boss

“Very interesting indeed. Perhaps they forget that they don’t own her or really understand the spider’s web they’re crawling towards and that they should keep their hands off” the boss pondered now looking in my direction 

“I couldn’t agree more with you boss. Perhaps they need a warning shot to underfstand not to mess with the port mafia” 

And before I could catch myself I did something crazy

I spoke out against the boss

“Wait this could jeopardize my whole career and send the military police after the port mafia we can’t be hasty with that! The entertainment industry is ruthless!”

“I guess the only solution then is for you not to and switch agencies”

“They own my likeness boss! I can’t”

“Well then, guess someone is going to have to mysteriously disappear, I will get Hirotsu to look into the talent agency she works for, and you can deal with building a spine in Ms.L/N”

“Sounds good to me boss”

“Now I believe our meeting shall adjourn here as I have new matters to attend to”

“Alright pipsqueak you’re coming with me” Chuuya was now grabbing the back of my shirt again and this time I felt weightless and now unable to freely anchor myself

“Who are you calling pipsqueak?!? I’m like 3 inches taller than you! If anything you’re the pipsqueak!” I immediately covered my mouth 

“OH NOW YOU’VE DONE IT YOU CHEEKY PIECE OF SHIT”

Uh oh

“WAIT WAIT IM SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO SAY THAT!”

He suddenly adjusted his ability (somehow without using words?!?!?!) and suddenly I was on the ground sprawled out just like earlier

“SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT BEFORE YOU SPOKE THEN”

“WAIT WAIT I’M SHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHRY I DIHIHIHIIDN’T MEHEHEHEHEAN IT HAHAHAHAHAHA” and of course the place he started was my hips

“Not to mention you violated our deal so I had to punish you anyway”

Time skiiiiiiiip

I sat on my bed staring at the sky after the strange ordeal which I’m still convinced wasn’t real

Suddenly I’m greeted with footsteps approaching my door and my door subsequently slamming open with a folder thrown on to me (didn’t help that it was super heavy)

“OW why?!?!”

“Fixed your shit manager problem”

“Chuuya do you understand the implications here?!?!”

“Yes I do but maybe you should read first”

I opened the folder and saw my awful manager dead in a warehouse with Gin curb stomping his head which was looking towards the camera and the next one was of his body with the next page being a print out of an article saying “Dango Productions President found dead after drug deal gone wrong” 

“How the hell did you orchestrate this?!?”

*hello it is I, Emily. From here to who knows when I will be writing this part of the fic. Thank youuuu*

"I had some help, help from others" he begins to walk towards a large door. "I had help from the outside" he opens the door and I see two people, both have purple hair but on is wearing a demon costume and another is wearing a beige sweater

"wait... YOU"

"heeey i thought you said that this was going to be a fun surprise. I thought she would remember me by now... her old co workers"

"wait, RAFAYEL??"

"yep and this is another con artist friend of mine"

Chuuys gives them a hand signal, motioning them to leave. BUT THEY JUST GOT HERE COME BACK POOKIE. 

Chuuya looks at me and chuckles to himself. 

“Don’t you see Y/N? We won. I won. This whole plan was for you! FOR YOU. And you have the nerve, the AUDACITY to hit me, to call me short?. You know I could’ve killed you at any moment, right? RIGHT??! ANSWER ME DAMNIT”

I look at the man in front of me and shake in fear. From one moment, he was just a funny guy with a very silly hat, but now I am not so sure. 

Even when I try to answer him, my voice is nothing but a whisper.

“I-I-I just wanted a surgery to become a better idol.”

“FUCK OFF WITH THE IDOL BULLCRAP Y/N” Chuuya throws a small flower vase. “I SWEAR IF YOU SAY ONE FUCKING NEGATIVE THING ABOUT YOURSELF IM GOING TO FUCK YOU UP SO HARD YOU WISHED YOU DIDN’T EVEN THINK ABOUT THE GOD DAMN SURGERY, YOU UNDERSTAND?”

*ayo… chat… why was that kinda… hawt* ahem ANYWAY

“Is that a threat or an invitation?” I say, walking backwards. I hit a wall and now im being trapped. Just then, Chuuya slams his hand on the wall, very close to my face. 

AYO AYO THIS IS A FAMILY SHOW… OR IS IT AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

He lifts my chin and gives me a strong passionate kiss. I gasp, not being able to process what happened. I clench my hands into fists. 

“Why are you resisting? Why are you resisting the love you so clearly deserve?”

I gasp at his words. He grabs me, but harder. I try to push his away but I end up melting in his embrace. Without thinking I have my hands around his hair. He smiles and his lips go from mine to my neck and through my body. I let out a small gasp. 

“Wait, wait. I don’t think this is…”

He looks at me, but with desire. 

“Y/N, I want you to love your body the way I do. I love the way you dress, but your clothes are better off here” 

He proceeds to unbutton my top. One by one. I try to stop him, but by the time I grab his hands my entire top is off. I put my hands on my face, embarrassed by my appearance. My insecurities are on full display and with the person I love so dearly. 

“What is to be embarrassed of, my love? Your body is like a temple. And it should be explored”

I mess with his hair for a little before kissing him more. He lifts me up and roughly slams me to the table, where we continued make out. He unzips his pants and releases… the lightsaber. 

He looks at my reaction. He takes my hands and I begin to touch it. I gasp in fear as the hand motions get faster and faster. And before I know it

*AHAHAHAHA HE CAME. WHAT A SIMP*

I am now traumatized. I quickly take my shirt and button it up quickly before he unbuttons it. 

“I do not like what I see. Do you have any idea what it is like to look at yourself and wonder if you are enough? All my life, I have been told I am beautiful by people who treat me like I am ugly. My old producer… he… did something terrible to me. I can never look at my body without seeing the scars.”

Chuuya takes off his jacket and puts it around me. “Then we shall heal those scars, together. No matter how long it takes. But Y/N,” he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “I love every part of you. And I hope you will soon”

I cry while giving him a hug. He pats my back, trying to calm me down. 

He pulls me in closer and puts his chin on my head as I begin to lose control of my own emotions and just break down in his arms 

I fight in his arms to regain control of my emotions and my composure to pull away from his warm and tempting embrace and almost succeed in doing so

When I feel a sudden dig at my rib and suddenly my face is BURIED IN HIS CHEST 

“I would think you’d get the hint but I guess not” and he cups my face with one hand and slides his hand to push my chin up 

Its not long but we made eye contact long enough for me to try and break free from his grasp again

“There isn’t a reason to be ashamed of any part of yourself.” and he pulls me back to his chest

“After all there is one more thing I have to take care of since you’ve deliberately defied me so many times. I’m sure you remember our earlier conversation”

“W-wait Ch-Chuuya w-we can t-talk about this r-right?!” 

“No”

And he sure did keep his promise because that night I had to change my whole ass mattress and replace my sheets and comforter because of him.

And that, unbeknownst to me, was the beginning of our love story. 

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

OMG PT 3 OF FLAMES PLS

HI! This will definitely get a part 4, so don't think I'm just leaving it up in the air haha. I hope you like it!

Flames - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader - Part 3

Summary: When Ethan gets out of the hospital and shows up at your door, you decided to give him the opportunity to earn your trust back.

Part 1, Part 2

Contains: mom!reader, mentions of things that you do when you have a baby(such as breast feeding and diaper changing), Ethan's struggles with mental health, mentions of homelessness, angst, and a few moments of fluff sprinkled in as Ethan tries to learn how to be a dad. If I missed anything, let me know:)

A/N: I love this little series that myself and the original requester (@l3ndryz) have come up with. This is definitely a little dark, but the story will get a little happier as I write it.

*I'm going to tie up loose ends to other series' I previously started and lost inspiration for soon, I promise 💕*

When you heard the words “Is that your baby?” you didn’t know how to respond. As your heart started to race, part of you felt like you were going into shock. You were quickly pulled out of it when River started to cry.

“It’s okay, baby,” you said, bouncing her as you looked back up to Ethan. “I don’t know what to say to you.”

“What do you mean? Is she…is she mine?” he asked, the fear in his voice obvious.

“Plan B doesn’t work if you’re ovulating, apparently,” you sighed, looking back down at the baby, smiling as she dozed back off.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his eyes trying to read yours in hopes of understanding, “Did you know before you left New York?”

“Yes,” you said, coldly. He looked like he was about to cry.

“You knew and didn’t tell me? That is so fucked up,” he said, running his hand through his hair in frustration.

“No, what’s fucked up is that you and your twisted little family decided to kill people,” you snapped, “I didn’t know that Quinn was your sister. I didn’t know that Detective Bailey was your dad. And I sure as shit didn’t know that Richie, the one that chased me around the house with a knife before Amber stabbed me, was your fucking brother. I don’t even know who you are!”

“Baby, please let me explain,” he said, your eyes getting dark in rage.

“Don’t call me that. We’re done,” you started to shut the door again, as he begged from the other side.

“Please hear me out…I have no where else to go. I was hoping the one person that I love more than anything would at least try to understand,” he sobbed, as you opened the door again. There were so many things running through your head. You needed to make sure your daughter was safe, but that little voice inside your head was screaming for you to at least talk to him.

“Do you have any knives on you? Guns? Anything that could harm me and your daughter?” you asked, as he shook his head. “Come in.”

You placed your daughter in the bassinet as Ethan watched you, so sad that he’s missed out on this experience.

“We can talk, but you have to be quiet. She hasn’t been sleeping well the last few days,” you sighed, knowing that your shirt with spit-up on it and your hair that hadn’t been washed in days probably gave that away.

“I don’t know how to start,” he said, laughing a little.

“I don’t think this is funny,” you said, your eyes connecting with his.

“It’s not...Dad wanted revenge for Richie…and I couldn’t just not help,” he sighed, as you looked at him to continue, “But at the end, after you left, I wanted to stop it.”

“So why didn’t you?” you questioned, as Ethan started to fidget with his fingers.

“Quinn stabbed me when I was about to,” he sighed, looking over to the baby, “I really wish you would’ve told me.”

“I couldn’t. After Amber I had this gut feeling that you had something to do with it. As bad as I didn’t want to believe it, it was always on my mind,” you said, staring at the floor as you thought back to Mindy’s accusations.

“I know you don’t trust me…you have a good reason not to. But I don’t want to miss out on this baby’s life,” he said, his voice cracking as he spoke.

“Ethan,” you paused, trying to think of the right words, “I don’t know how to let you be a part of her life. You hurt me so badly, and I’m not sure how to move past that.”

“Can you at least let me try to prove to you that I’m okay?” he asked, “I was in the hospital for a long time. I’m going to start therapy out here, too. Please just give me that chance.”

You sat there thinking for a few minutes. You didn’t want to say yes, but you didn’t want to say no either.

“When you said you had nowhere to go, what did you mean?” you asked, avoiding answering until you knew.

“I mean no one wants me…All of my family wants nothing to do with me. I can’t really blame them, though.”

“If you stay here, can I trust you?” you asked, as he nodded. “This doesn’t mean that we’re okay. I will give you the chance to be around her, but you won’t be left alone with her.”

“Okay, thank you,” he said, looking back over to the baby, “Can I hold her?”

“No, not yet. You need to prove yourself to me,” you said, as you started to walk into the kitchen.

“Can she be left alone?” he asked as he followed you, panicking at the idea of it.

“She can for a minute. She’s swaddled and in a safe place,” you smiled, walking over to the sink. “I want you to clean these.” You said, pointing to the bottles sitting on the counter beside the sink.

“How do I do that?” he asked, making you roll your eyes.

“Okay, let’s start with the basics,” you sighed, “This is a bottle brush. This little thing on the end unscrews and you clean the nipple part of the bottles with it. I want you to use the baby dish detergent in the pink bottle. After that, you’re going to put them in the sterilizer.”

“I think I can do that,” he said, moving in front of the sink.

“Do I need to take the knives out of here? Or can you be trusted?” your snarky tone and the accusations were starting to trigger all the things his psychiatrist warned him about. He ran through all the steps in his head as he tried to calm down, before speaking.

“I know I’ve done things to break your trust, but you’re going to have to let me prove to you that I’m not the monster you think I am. Please stop mentioning the knife stuff.”

“Okay,” you gave a half-smile, leaving him to clean the bottles as you went back to your daughter.

After twenty minutes, she started to wake up. You recognized her cry as a hungry one, so you picked her up and lifted your shirt. You adjusted so she was able to latch when Ethan walked back in the room.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he said, turning his back to you. “I finished the bottles, they’re in the sterilizer.”

“Quit acting weird, this is natural. It’s not like you haven’t seen my boobs before,” you laughed a little, as he turned around.

“So you do both? You bottle feed and breast feed?” he asked, watching you feed her.

“Yeah. After doing this so many times, your nipples start to hurt,” you groaned, “Like right now.”

“I wish there was something I could do to help.”

“You just did. You cleaned the bottles I haven’t had the chance to get to the last couple days.”

He smiled, happy that he did something to be helpful. Once she started to turn away because she was full, you pulled your shirt back down and looked over to Ethan.

“Come here,” you said, as walked over and sat down beside you. “I’m going to show you how to hold her.”

As he positioned his arms, you passed the baby to him.

“She’s perfect,” he said, finally getting a good look at her tiny little features. “What’s her name?”

“River Judith Landry,” you said, as he started to grin.

“You gave her my last name?” he asked, looking back down at her. “You have no idea how happy that makes me.”

“You are her dad.”

Ethan held her for a while, getting tired himself as he started to drift off.

“Hey,” you said, gently scooping her out of his arms, “Never fall asleep with her in your arms.”

He looked sad as you pulled her away but understood why. You put her back in the bassinet before sitting beside Ethan.

“We need to talk about sleeping arrangements,” you said, looking over at his tired expression. “I don’t know how my parents will feel about this…but they tend to be cool with things so we should be fine. I didn’t go into detail about what happened with you,” he nodded as he waited for you to continue, “We have a guest bedroom beside mine. You can sleep in there while we figure everything out.”

“Okay, I appreciate you giving me a chance,” he said, yawning as relaxed into the couch.

“Please don’t make me regret it,” you sighed, “I have another bassinet in my room that she sleeps in right now, at least until she’s a little older. She’ll be up every few hours tonight, if you wake up and want to come help, you can.”

 “I’d love to,” he mumbled, as he started to fall asleep.

As Ethan slept, the light snores slipping past his lips reminded you of all the nights you’d fallen asleep on his chest when he’d stay over. You couldn’t help but wonder how life could’ve been so different had he not gone along with his dad’s plan. You weren’t sure if he was behind any of the actual murders that happened, but when you thought back to the night at the apartment, you realized that had to be him. Why else would someone completely go around you, then lock the door the second you ran out of it? You wanted to ask, but you didn’t want to know at the same time. You weren’t sure if he’d tell you the truth, and the last thing you needed was for him to start lying. You knew how you’d react, and until you had a better understanding of his mental health, you pushed your thoughts to the back of your mind.

“Hey,” you said, gently nudging Ethan, “My mom’s home. I want you to come meet her.”

He rubbed his eyes as he tried to wake up, “Okay.”

As your mom came in through the garage door, you led Ethan through the kitchen to the dining room.

“Hey, mom,” you said, a smile on her face as she introduced herself to your guest.

“I’m Ethan,” he said, shaking her hand.

“It’s nice to meet you,” she said, sitting the groceries down on the table.

“I hope you don’t mind, but he’s going to stay with us for a little while,” you said, searching her face for any negative reaction to the situation.

“Okay, you’ve had so many friends here lately…I’ve gotten used to having a full house,” she laughed, “What do you want for dinner?”

“Honestly, I’m okay with anything,” you said looking over to Ethan.

“Yeah, I’m fine with whatever,” he said, as River started to coo in the other room.

“Someone’s awake,” you smiled, the excitement in your voice as you headed back to the living room. Ethan was right behind you, determined not to miss out on another second of time with her.

“She really doesn’t know anything?” he asked, as you picked the baby up.

“Shhh, she’s going to think I’m fucking nuts if she finds out you had anything to do with what happened in New York.”

“Okay,” he said, “Is she like, awake? Like she’s not going to instantly fall back asleep?”

“Not for a little bit. These moments only happen a few times a day, so I like to enjoy it,” you said, laying her down on the couch as you crouched beside it.

Ethan watched you play with her hands and make goofy little noises at the little sounds she’d make. He never expected to come to your house and see a baby in your arms. He thought it was the end of the road for him, especially if you didn’t give him a chance. He wasn’t sure what he had to live for, but within a matter of hours his whole outlook on everything changed.

“The new baby smell is the best thing ever,” you said, sniffing the top of her head. “You want to play with her?”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea…I don’t want to hurt her,” he said, as you nodded.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with.”

She soon started to drift off to sleep again when your mom walked in to let you know that dinner would be ready soon.

“Look at my precious granddaughter,” she said, taking her from you. “It’s crazy how fast they grow up. Before you know it, she’ll be a teenager.”

“You’ve only told me that every day since she was born,” you said sarcastically, as she handed her to you to head back to the kitchen.

“I say it so much because it’s true,” she sighed, “I’m so proud of you. Doing all of this on your own isn’t easy, but you’re doing such a good job with her.”

Ethan started to feel guilty as she spoke. As badly as he wanted to tell her that you wouldn’t have to do this by yourself anymore, he didn’t know if that was true. Yeah, you’re giving him a chance, but he was terrified that you’d rip his chance away if he did the slightest thing to fuck up. The only thing he could hope for was that you would realize he was the same person you fell in love with, regardless of all the lies he told. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, but he was determined to get you back and have a life with his daughter.

As you sat at the dinner table across from Ethan, you started to notice how hungry he was, but he wasn’t trying to show it. You were wondering when the last time he ate was; or maybe this was the best thing he’d eaten in a long time. When his eyes connected with yours, he started to chew a little slower as you offered a sad smile.

“So, your dad will be out of town the next couple days,” your mom said, “And I’ll be working late the rest of this week, but Chad and Tara are coming back tomorrow, right?”

Ethan’s eyes widened at the mention of their names. He was trying to get in your good graces, but he started to feel like everything would all fall apart the second they saw him with you.

“Yeah, Mindy might come over, too,” you said, taking a bite of your food.

“I’m so happy they help you out. Chad is so protective of that baby girl,” she said, as Ethan started to feel jealous, “and he did so much to help you out before the baby was born.”

“They’re really good friends,” you smiled, looking back over to Ethan. You could tell he was in his feelings at your mom’s words. “Ethan’s going to be really helpful with her, too.”

He flashed you a weak smile when his eyes met yours.

“It does take a village to raise a baby,” she said, smiling at him.

After dinner, you noticed that the baby’s diaper needed to be changed. Ethan followed you upstairs to the nursery as you started to laugh to yourself, wondering how he’d react to the diaper changing part of parenthood.

“You want to take notes?” you asked, as you laid her on the changing table and started to undress her.

“Oh, uh…I…” he stammered, as you looked over to him.

“You’re eventually going to have to do this if you want the full parenting experience,” you laughed, “Shit, I forgot to refill the diapers earlier. There’s a box of them in her closet that’s open, can you grab a stack out of it for me?”

“Yeah,” he said, feeling confident in his ability to at least help with that. He handed you several diapers as you refilled the little cubby on the changing table.

He watched you take the diaper off, almost gagging at the sight. “Don’t freak out, you’ll get used to it,” you said, trying to assure him.

“That smells awful,” he said, stepping away for a second.

“Again…you’ll get used to it,” you laughed, as you got her cleaned up. “Okay, it’s so important for you to pay attention to stuff like this,” you said, drawing his attention back over. “She’s getting a little diaper rash, and if I don’t put the cream on her now, it’ll get worse. It can be painful for her, so that’s just something you have to look out for, okay?”

“Is she in pain now?” he asked, looking at her as she started to coo and kick her feet.

“No, she’s okay,” you said before talking to River. “Quit trying to kick me,” you said in a soft voice, as she started to coo a little louder. “Don’t be mean to mommy.”

He smiled as you finished changing the diaper, your maternal instincts radiating off you. Ethan was in love with you before the baby but seeing you like this made him fall so much harder.

“You’re a good mom,” Ethan said, as you turned to look at him. “She’s lucky she has you.”

“Thank you,” you smiled, “It’s crazy…I went from being this college kid that wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life, to being a mom. If you would’ve told me a year ago that this was how my life was going to be, I wouldn’t have believed it.”

As the night started to wind down and River was asleep once again, you walked into the room beside yours to Ethan.

“Hey, I know you didn’t come here with much…what do you need?” you asked, taking a seat at the foot of the bed.

“Oh, um…I’ll figure it out.”

“I didn’t ask you to figure it out. I asked you to tell me what you needed,” you said sternly, as he nodded. “Do you have all the hygiene products you need?”

“God, this is so fucking embarrassing,” he sighed, looking over to you. “I’ve kind of been homeless the last few weeks since I got out of the hospital. I had a bunch of stuff, but someone stole it yesterday.”

You frowned at his words. The idea of the father of your child on the streets made you feel sick.

“Come with me,” you said, leading him to the bathroom. “Chad showers here a lot because he’s always getting spit up on. He’s her puke target almost always,” you said, laughing a little, “He has this three-in-one body wash. I don’t know how you guys do that because I need like, five different products when I shower. But there’s clean towels in this cabinet, and I have extra toothbrushes in this drawer.”

Ethan had a few things running through his mind. He couldn’t believe you were being so sweet when you hated him earlier in the day, but he also couldn’t shake the sadness of the idea of Chad being so close to you and your daughter.

“Chad’s still with Tara, right?” he asked, trying to play it as cool as possible. You saw right through it, knowing he was asking because he was scared that another man was taking his place.

“Yeah…Ethan, I don’t want you to feel discouraged to build a relationship with your daughter because Chad’s helped a lot. He’s not her dad, you are. I’m trying to give you this chance, but I need you to not get jealous or angry when you see him with her.”

“Okay,” he said, his gaze not leaving from the floor. “I’ll try to get used to it.”

You smiled at him, before thinking about what else he needed. “Oh shit, clothes! Do you have those?”

He nodded, before realizing he hadn’t had a chance to wash what he does have. You noticed the look on his face, “Hang on a second.”

You ran to your room and searched for some things for him to wear, and when you made it back to the bathroom, he felt like he could cry when he saw what you had.

“Is that my sweatpants and shirt that I gave you?” he asked, “I can’t believe you still have these.”

“When we didn’t get to see each other much because of exams, you gave them to me to wear when I was missing you a little extra than usual,” you smiled, “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still wear them all the time.”

You walked out of the bathroom before he could respond, knowing that you’d just expressed to him that you had missed him while he was gone. He smiled to himself as he cut on the shower and stepped inside.

As you heard the shower running faintly down the hall, you started to wonder how your friends would react to Ethan being back in your life. You knew Chad would really be hurt because he felt so fucked over by Ethan. The two of you were the ones that struggled the most after you found out your boyfriend was Ghostface. He defended Ethan to Mindy countless times until the night that Anika died, and even started to trust him again before everything happened at the theater. He felt so deceived; he had a good reason for feeling that way.

Then you started to think about all the things Ethan had been through. He was manipulated into helping his dad, stabbed and left for dead by his own sister, spent several months in a psychiatric hospital, and experienced homelessness before he showed up at your front door. Your heart broke for him, but you still needed to work on trying to build up that trust, if that was even possible.

When you heard the shower cut off, Ethan popped into your room shortly after in his clothes that you gave him.

“Sorry I didn’t have boxers or anything. Maybe we can go shopping tomorrow to get some of the stuff you need. And we can get the laundry that you do have taken care of.”

“I can’t believe you’re being so sweet to me after everything,” he said, watching River as she slept in the bassinet.

You sighed, smiling as you watched him look at her in awe, “We’ve both been through a lot. I might not be able to trust you right this second, but I believe that you loving me was never a lie, and I can tell you really want this chance to try to make things right. I’m willing to try for her, but the second you give me a reason to doubt your intentions, or you make me uncomfortable, that’s it. No more chances.”

“I promise you that I won’t give you any reason to not trust me. I know you’re probably a little scared, too. The meds I take helps a ton, but I do still have moments where I struggle. I just hope you can be patient with me and try to understand. You don’t owe me shit, but I want you to know that I’m genuine about all of this.”

You nodded at his words, before he stood up to go to the other room. “Goodnight,” he mumbled, before stopping to take one last look at his daughter before walking out.

“Hey,” you said, as he’d just made it past the doorway. He turned back around to face you. “I know I mentioned this earlier, but if she wakes you up with her crying tonight, I’d really appreciate the help if you want to.”

“Of course. I’ll do anything I can to get extra time with her,” he smiled.

“No pressure, though. I know you haven’t slept well lately, so I completely understand if you just want to sleep.”

“No, I’ll wake up. I’ll see you soon, I guess,” he laughed a little, walking into the room next to yours.

[wufflesvetinari]

hi!! okay so i really loved that one fanfic you wrote (3:16) way back when, it's honestly one of my favorite fanfics ever but I have a question for you!! I've honestly adored your writing style and techniques and I was wondering: what is your writing process? Not just plot wise (although yes that!) but also prose-wise? because honestly, the first thing that drew me into your fic was how FUCKING good your prose was and I was just in absolute awe reading what you had written, and it sort of started me on a journey to improve my own prose and make it sound nice.

so uh yeah!! what is your writing process and if you have any advice for how you write so beautifully (Not just prose wise!! plot and character wise too haha) or just like. writing advice in general, i am ALL ears <3

oh this is so incredibly sweet, thank you!!!

i've tried to marshal some thoughts...tbh i am always envious of effective writing that is UNLIKE mine, so there are lots of ways to go about this. (and also i am just Some Guy.)

i'll focus on prose things i think about during writing/revision b/c otherwise we will be here all night...but imo some of this overlaps with effective pacing, character, etc.

Prose is character – some writing is “voicier” than other writing is, living closer in a character’s POV.  but in most cases, if you are in any way in a character’s head, your prose is part of their characterization. dick grayson will use different words and notice different details than damian will. being intentional about a character’s voice has the nice iterative effect of strengthening their characterization, which then makes your prose more confident as you understand their voice, and on and on it goes

Allow “workmanlike” phrases – sometimes cliché exists for a reason; you don’t actually need every sentence to be a poem. in fact, you NEED simple writing to string together your powerhouse lines without turning it all into purple prose/losing the reader/ruining the pacing.

Examine “workmanlike” phrases – that being said, another failure mode is RELYING on these phrases instead of digging for something more interesting now and then. i might write the phrase “a chill went down her spine” – ok this is fine, but I’ve read this sentence 15,000 times in my life and seeing it in my own document should be a trigger to slow down and decide if there’s a more specific or vivid description that conveys character or mood or theme better. or is just prettier lmao. i think to myself: how does it feel to be scared? what is a physical reaction that’s REAL that i have experienced, and am not just taking from a list in my head called “Descriptions Of Being Scared That Writers Use”?

The fucking thesaurus lmao – do not find/replace willy-nilly obviously BUT if the only word you can think of is Not Exactly The Right Word Dammit then the fucking thesaurus is a perfectly valid brainstorming tool to get closer to what you are trying to say. even if u don’t find the right word, it’s often a jumping-off point to a better way to approach the sentence

Note your “is”es – ok this is the annoying one. imo this really strengthened my writing but i hated it so so much. when revising, find any instance of “is/was/seems.” (ex: “He seems impatient, and there’s a pile of paperwork sitting in front of him.”) There’s nothing WRONG with that sentence, but it’s worth checking to see if it’s an opportunity for a more active one that gives more character detail (“He taps impatiently on a pile of paperwork.” there. done.)

Condense – ok look at that example again. i phrased things more actively but i ALSO condensed two concepts (He seems impatient + there is paperwork) into a sharper sentence that ALSO tells us a bit about how this character acts when stressed. imo you can accidentally find really interesting prose this way, in addition to improving pacing.

Vary sentence structure – that being said, sometimes the way to go is a beautiful run-on, so long as that sentence has intention packed into it! if you are writing long lovely flowing sentences, it’s going to hit hard if you drop the emotional reveal in a short, choppy, standalone one. or if your sentences shorten as the mood of the scene changes, or or or.

Use detail to let a scene breathe – personally, i never want to write the phrase “there was a pregnant pause” or “there was a brief silence” if i can help it. this is personal preference, but i think the principle stands: you can instead control your reader’s sense of timing, create an implied pause, by giving detail in the right place. the reverse is why it bothers me when a conversation is interspersed with paragraphs of introspection lmao: in my head i’m wondering why pov is taking so long to respond

Use repetition – oh my god this is my cheat code. if you are really proud of a beautiful, distinctive phrase you wrote? use it again!!! make it a callback at an important moment!!! make it thematic!! do it on purpose. trust me it’s cool

Get out of their head – ok here’s an experiment. take a concept (“Dick is scared”) and tell yourself that you have to express this, but you CAN’T describe anything about Dick himself in order to do it. you can use the way the crumbling buildings of gotham loom above him, or the weather, or the way people react to him—but you cannot say a word about his actions or thoughts or feelings. chances are, you’ve now created some interesting prose getting at the concept abstractly. cool! use that, and also go and add the direct feelings back in if it makes sense to do so

"Unconscious" writing - uhh ok this one is weird, but sometimes for a VERY early draft—like, when I am staring down the blank page—I will stop…trying to write a story? I will instead begin to write, uh…poetry about what is happening in the story? Just, impressions, details, stream-of-consciousness…this will all have to be cleaned up and made linear later. but for now, go nuts. and usually it gives me a) some workable, pretty prose and b) an entry point into what i am trying to say so i can go back and write the “real version”

Dissect!! Good!!! Writing!!! - i'm sorry, this one is so boring. but if there's a writer who really WORKS for you, read very slowly and break down what's so effective about it on a prose level. i do this with ursula le guin. also, do this with poetry!!! which poems slam you to the ground and take your lunch money? how?

i know you also asked abt plot and character but i've already written so much lmao plz forgive me. i am not a big craft book person but i did enjoy refuse to be done and a swim in a pond in the rain. i also try to collect tips i find in this tag!

[sojourner-between-worlds]

How can a single of line of text/ dialog be translated [for subtitling] to mean two entirely different things and reference two entirely different characters in the process?

I asked a friend of mine about this, who has experience with French translation, and she was also completely baffled about how something like this could happen, so now I'm yelling it into the tumblr void and hoping someone yells back.

Like, I completely understand that certain things like idioms, puns, and slang terms get a little lost in translation and have to attempt to have an equivalent replacement found, but this... is not that. I also understand that since this is a Japanese anime from 2008 that older translations can be a bit... off in places, I guess, since they were more often than not subbed by fans. (And, since they're old, unless they are super popular, the less-than-legal sites often never get updated to official subs.) In this case, there was also a DVD release that is no longer available for purchase in the US (except off Ebay and shipped from overseas). I have no way of verifying if the same subtitles appear on the DVDs as appear when streaming on Crunchyroll. So the discrepancy is between the "official" Crunchyroll subs and either the DVD release or fansubs. But either option still makes this...weird. Even if the DVDs are older, there shouldn't be this big of a discrepancy. But I also can't blame it solely on "bad fansubs" because in all my years of watching this with varying subs across varying less-than-legal platforms, I have never had anything that has stuck out to me like this exchange this does. Difference in word choice, sure, that's basically inevitable; but I've never seen a conversation where the words spoken are about two entirely different characters.

For greater context, here are the two different ways the dialog in question is presented:

Source 1:

N: He's even stronger than before. Y: His opponent was weak, right? B: Yeah, he was completely played by Jack. Y: He's bored.

Source 2:

N: He's getting even stronger. Y: Was he facing a wimp? B: Yeah, Jack completely toyed around with him. Y: He was probably no big deal then...

So as you can see, this exchange is mostly the same. The baffling part is that last line. In the first one, Y is making a personal observation about someone he knows; in the second, he's making an impersonal observation about someone he doesn't know. The difference is getting information about a character (both the one spoken about and the one speaking) and just being a throw away line that doesn't mean anything at all.

This has been driving me nuts for literal years at this point, as to how this big of a difference in translation could happen. Again, it could have been a whoopsie on the part of a fansubber but everything else largely lines up between the two (as far as I can tell), and you'd think it would at least still be referring to the same character, which just makes it Weird to me.

So if anyone can actually explain how this happened, I would love you forever, haha.