#she says people will lie to you as a joke! how mean! :c

[madokasblogg]

Since Homura is following this account, I'd like you to pass her this message

"Homura, take Madoka to Kamihama it is the only way to achieve a decent ending to your Odyssey"

Also Madoka, please don't trust kyubey, not that he is lying but he is leaving out some details punt him a few times and he will probably spill everything, and don't worry about hurting him too much, he always comes back

- sincerely a Magical girl with how many years have I been a magical girl for again with a lot of years worth of experience

..... um Homura if you read this that it for you >///<

but I have no reason not to trust Kyubey or Mami....

[telvess]

Record of Ragnarok Poseidon (relationship headcanons) 🔞

My first attempt in writing anything in… eternity. I’m not a native English speaker but trying to improve myself, sorry for all mistakes I've made. I didn’t write any major spoilers but used knowledge from manga. Also + still no clue how tumblr works.

Poseidon is such a adorable idiot.

SFW Not gonna lie, to catch his eye (not to mention eye-to-eye contact) there will be needed someone really specific. Someone similar to him in general, but unique in details. I think Poseidon is really good observant. Just because he’s indifferent to others, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t pay attention. He would notice nuances in behaviour, manners and gestures. His future s/o must be elegant, self-contained and pride. Maybe not in the haughty way but undoubtedly confident in her position as a goddess. Definitely not ‘damsel in distress’ type, she has to have guts to rule her sphere, protect her opinion and status. No other god or goddess shall stick their nose in her business. Unless they’re ready for harsh words or worse. In summary: a less extreme version of Poseidon. On the other hand, I don't think these qualities are enough to draw Poseidon's interest. It’s good base but potential s/o must get under his skin. Intentionally or no, she has to do or say something that would get his attention, and annoy him… He wasn't seeking her subtle chitchat, nor did he want to end up witnessing her fight! Congratulations, miss! You accidentally annoyed Tyrant of the Seas! Choose a burial place. Jokes aside, the best thing s/o can do here is ignore Poseidon. He thinks he wants that, but hey! Looks like he played himself. Now s/o annoys him even more and he cannot understand why. Such a useless bottom feeder and he can’t get over her?

She was like a sea: capricious and unpredictable in nature, always remained resistant to the expectations of others. But sea bend to his will like tamed puppy. He stamp his foot and it humbly part before him. That’s what he couldn’t stand - how little control he had over her, how unbearably free this woman was compared to other gods who ran away in terror as soon as he merely frowned.

Poseidon would catch himself thinking about her in the least expected moments. He used to almost never leave his realm, now suddenly is more present in social life. Still doesn’t care much, usually just staying in loneliness that nobody dare to disturb and observing from distant object of his contempt. As if nothing had changed, yet it did. Probably the only people that would notice he’s different will be Hermes and Hades. When first one won’t act on it nor share his observations, the eldest brother definitely won’t resist to make some ambiguous comments.

— Well that’s unusual of you, dear brother — said Hades. He toyed with his glass of wine, watching carefully Poseidon, who looked as unconcerned as ever. However he honoured him with one short glance. Hades couldn’t stop the corners of his lips to lift up. Did his little brother seem… disturbed? Or was that just his imagination? If Hades could pick one thing out of everything known in the universe that was unshakable and untouched by time or any other matter Poseidon would be his choice. Unaffected stability that did not leave any room for doubt and yet… something… someone push his stern brother out of his safe zone. Hades couldn’t wait to see what else the future may bring to them. He just hoped the intruder will be able to keep up with the challenge.

It will actually take a lot of time for Poseidon to realize that he isn’t annoyed with s/o but himself. Idea of being attached to another person is almost physically uncomfortable. It’s new and suspicious. The moment of understanding is the flash point of the relationship. At this point Poseidon would abandon distant admiration and start acting. He is still slightly annoyed but what’s more irritate him is the absent of that unbearable mouth of s/o. Poseidon would sit next to her or stand much closer at any events. At first she won't notice, but over time she'll start to connect the facts. She’s not dumb. Quiet neither. If she point it out, he may mock her.

— Why don't you just ask me to dance instead of deterring others? It would be a graceful way to start a relationship. Poseidon gave her almost cold look. — Such a audacity — his voice teetered on the verge of indifference - he thought so. She snorted. Her eyes weren’t darkened with anger, sparks of mirth still shone in them. Maybe even more after his refusal. Then she turned to face him and, with a subtle but promising smile, began to close the distance between them. Poseidon remained calm as she came within inches of him. He could feel the warm breath of hers, the smell of fresh air… — You know you want me — she whispered without hesitation. Something unbearably nagging was born in Poseidon’s belly. And that annoying heat under it… almost as someone wounded him. He frowned but didn’t move away. — How are you going to win me over if you can't stop fighting with yourself? — she asked innocently and didn't wait for an answer - just left him on the balcony.

Truth be told, Poseidon wasn’t made for small talks so s/o is doing most of the part and - to provoke a reaction - teasing him a bit. After a while, they both find the silence in their presence pleasant. Poseidon’s seduce tactic would mostly navigate around small gestures such as gifts. However he won’t send them like every normal suitor. If his s/o lives near the ocean or is often near it, she would probably find many beautiful pearls by chance. All of them in her favourites colours of course. Is she basking on the beach? The finest shells surround her. Is she admiring shoal of fish, coral reef or just the sound of the sea? There are no storms. And go on… It’s hard for Poseidon to overcome his pride and openly talk about his desire. When he finally bring himself to it, he’ll sound angry as if he’s doing something unworthy of him. Once s/o assures him that she wants to know more, Poseidon would relax.

— I want you to remind me every day how unbearable I am. How capricious… how impertinent… — she kissed his hand without taking her eyes off him and then put it to her cheek. Poseidon liked the cool touch of her skin — And still watch me with that quiet yet deep fascination.

Yeah, s/o has to make it official by saying out loud how she feels and Poseidon generously accept the offer…

NSFW For Poseidon to be in any relationship, especially romantic is almost impossible. He doesn’t get involved with others because, in his opinion, they’re not worth it. So nobody would force on him arranged marriage. He must be the one choosing that path. That’s why I don’t believe he would ever degenerating his s/o. The reason is simple - he would treat his wife with the same level of respect he treats Hades. Otherwise she wouldn’t be his wife; she cannot be someone less. I also don’t think he would praise her much, probably only when he’s in right mood she would hear complement here and there. His s/o must be good at reading his minimalistic facial expressions and body language. She may notice how his eyes widen in admiration, how he holds his breath for a moment or tightens the jaw muscles when feels really good. He’s not vocal; purrs or growls only on occasion. Poseidon has his moments where he shows desire for s/o. He won’t say it loud but won’t take his eyes off her as she undress in the evening. Yeah, she definitely gonna feel that burning look on her back. The only place where he become caring and warm is in bedroom, in private, far from servants’ eyes. These kind of moments are rare. Mostly because they both take their responsibilities seriously, which means they've been separated for a long time. Poseidon is calm, methodical lover. He’s detail-oriented - would leave no curve or plane untouched from his hands or tongue. He’ll enjoy every sound, shaking and blush s/o make, and act in accordance with the mentioned gestures. Poseidon prefers variants of missionary position to share eye contact though he wouldn’t say no to his s/o if she wants to ride him. In intimidating moment he enjoys challenging her to not close eyes when he thrusts deep into her. He starts with slow and almost annoyed pace that soon becomes raw and firm when they both chase their release. Afterward they usually lay in bed in silent, both satisfied and tired. Poseidon won’t say it loud but he really likes when his wife show him affections at that time. Slowly almost lazily massaging his chest, touching his neck and jaw, putting small kisses on his ear or cheek. Her tender words soft him. Poseidon doesn’t entirely return the favour but when she does all this to him, he caresses her back, pretending to be indifferent.

[gamerbunny1996]

Anxiety

Sitting at your computer you are about to start a stream with a few others. One being Schlatt. You get so excited every time you guys get to do a stream together. You're always so shy though, having a hard time talking to him sometimes. Starting the live you do your intro waiting for all the fans to pile in.

Seeing everyone in discord you jumped in. “Hello y/n” Ted said in a sing-song voice. “Hi,” you said back. “So what we have planned you just told me to join in discord” swagger said. Jackmanifold jumped in “I thought of doing a big you laugh you lose live stream” you smile at his excitement. “The rules are different then my normal ones. This time we have to make each other laugh” he said.

“I don't think I've ever heard y/n laugh,” Schlatt said. “Really I hear it all the time,” Ted replied to schlatt. “I bet it's an ugly laugh that's why she never laughs in front of me” you were shocked by his words he never talks bad about you ever even in a joking manner. “I don't think I do,” you tried to argue. “Then why have I never heard it then” he asked. “Ummmm… I don't really know maybe because you're not that funny” you kinda lied at the end you find him hilarious but you're always so shy and quiet he probably just never noticed you laughing at him. “That's a lie and you know it,” he said. “Alright you two let's start the challenge before the live goes on too long” Jack butted in. “I have a wheel here of all are names and who ever it lands on has to try and make the rest of us laugh”

You start to get nervous you don't even know where to begin on making people laugh you only know dark jokes. “Alright let's see who it's going to be” Jack spun the wheel. It goes around a few times until it lands on your name. Of course, just your luck. “Well I'm not good at this,” you said. “Just try, I know you can do it,” Ted said to you. “Okay I'm sorry for any jokes I speak. What's a depressed kid's favorite thing to do” you asked. Everyone said what. “They like just hanging around,” you said, trying not to laugh at yourself. All their eyes widened. “That was dark,” swagger said. “Yeah I only know dark jokes” you said trying to hide your face in embarrassment. “You need so much help mentally” Schlatt said.

The game went on and you just kinda stayed quiet the wheel has yet to land on you again. Thankfully. You wanted to die from the amount of embarrassment you are feeling. “Y/n you have yet to laugh come on there has to be something to make you laugh” Jack said. “I should just go, I'm just embarrassing myself more and more” you go to the end stream and discord. “Ha pussy” you heard schlatt say right when you hit the end call. Why was this upsetting you so much? You tell dark jokes all the time and you never have a problem other than people questioning your sanity. Like just hearing schlatt make rude comments to you and not finding your stupid joke funny now leaving because you just couldn't laugh. Everything started to get overwhelming.

A notification happened on discord you go look who's it from. Ted's name came on screen asking if I'm okay. “I don't know just some reason my anxiety is hitting hard after I told that joke” you send to Ted. It didn't take long for him to reply “that's weird it was a pretty funny joke even if it was dark.” He replied back to you. Smiling to yourself makes you feel better. “Weird question” you send

“What?” he replied. “Do you know why Schlatt is being so mean he is never this mean to me” you send scared he will poke at you for asking about schlatt. “No I don't. Why do you ask anyway” he replied. Scared you didn't know how to reply.

You put your fingers on the keys and started to type away just to get it over with. “Well, how do I put this? I really like Schlatt a lot and he was always so nice to me and mean to others I thought maybe he liked me too or something I don't really know” you hesitated to send. Taking a deep breath you sent it. It felt like forever for Ted to reply back. “Aw, how cute. I wish I could help but I don't even know Schlatt can be very private sometimes but you're right it's weird how all of a sudden he just starts to be mean to you. He hasn't said anything about you since you left.” He replied to you.

Starting to tear up from frustration and emotions. You don't really understand why you're feeling this way. Just wanting him to like you back. You decide to take a break on live streams and social media maybe it's your anxiety taking over. “I think I'm taking a break from everything for a little bit. My anxiety is going crazy and I need a few weeks to myself and maybe try and figure out this whole Schlatt thing” you sent to Ted. Taking a deep breath you start to shut everything down and leaving discord up to see when Ted replies back. Waiting for him you start to write a little letter for all your fans so they know you're taking a break for a few weeks. Posting it on all social media he sighs out looking back up at your monitor. “Please take a break if you need it. We will talk everyday you're gonna keep me updated on your little crush, life got it” you can almost hear him say this in a sassy voice making you laugh a little to yourself.

Closing discord you turn off the whole computer and monitors. Getting up you walk into the bathroom ready for a nice shower. Hoping to calm your thoughts. Right before you step in you hear you phone go off. Checking it to see who texted you.

Schlatt❤️: Why did you leave the stream today?

Toots: my anxiety got to much

Schlatt❤️: you want to talk about it?

Toots: Not really

Schlatt❤️: well I'm here if you want to talk

Toots:okay :l

You turned your phone off and hopped into the shower. Feeling the hot water poor over you. Enjoying the warmth your head went to your message just barely with schlatt. Why does he care all of a sudden? This is so strange it's making you upset. Turning off the water you got out. Drying off you looked at your phone. You wanted to see if schlatt replied. You wanted to text him so bad to come over so you could hug him and cry. You wanted to do so much but just couldn't do it.

Getting dressed you grabbed your phone and went into your room. Sitting on your bed you finally decided to turn your phone on to see if he texted back.

Schlatt❤️: I think you do

Taking a deep breath you turned your phone off leaving him on read. What do you say at this point? That you're in love with him and you want to hug and kiss him to make everything better. Soon your phone went off again.

Schlatt ❤️: don't leave me on read

You smile at that. But you still couldn't text him. It just felt so wrong.

Schlatt❤️:y/n

Schlatt❤️:toots

Schlatt❤️: dumbass answer me

Soon your phone started to ring. He was calling you. Panicking, you threw the phone. Thankfully It landed at the end of the bed. It went silent. Sighing in relief. You went to grab your phone but it started to ring again. You decide to just get it over with and answer the call. Before you could say hello Schlatt started yelling at you. “What the hell you kept leaving me on read then didn't answer the call. You should be ashamed. I'm trying to me a nice friend and you do this what the hell is going on” tearing up you broke down crying feeling bad for being so mean to Schlatt. “Oh wait don't cry sorry didn't mean to yell at you please calm down” he started to freak out not knowing what to do.

“You…. So…. Mean….stream” you cry out only a few words. Barely being able to breathe from all the crying. It just wouldn't stop no matter how hard you try. “Oh I'm so sorry I didn't mean to be I was just joking around please stop crying” you sniffled out finally being able to calm down a little. Once you can breathe again and only tears fall once in a while, you speak. “I'm sorry I don't really know what wrong my emotions are all over the place my anxiety is hitting pretty hard” you try to explain but leaving the part out of you just want to date the man. “It's okay, is there any reason why your anxiety is so bad?” he tried to help but he just can not know. “No” is all you said. “You want me to come over and we can watch a movie to distract you” your eyes widen. Staying silent you had no idea how to answer. Finally you just agreed. “Perfect I'll be over in 15 minutes or so” he hung up the phone. Now what are you going to do? Your crush coming over your face is a mess from crying so hard. Getting up you grab a few blankets and head to the living room. Placing them on the couch you go put some popcorn in the microwave. Waiting for it you pull out your popcorn bowl and some salt. Once it was done you pulled it out and poured it into the bowl. Putting salt all over it. Taking it to the living room you place it down on the coffee table. Turning on your TV you waited for Schlatt to come. You started to bounce your knee. Anxiety taking over your body. You were so lost in thought you didn't realize the door knocking. After a few seconds you snap out of it and went to answer the door.

Schlatt stood there with two bags. Letting him in. “I brought snacks and drinks,” he said, placing the bags on the table. “That was nice of you” you told him. He sat on the couch patting the seat next to him. He walks over sitting next to him as far as you can without him noticing. He did notice and didn't like it so he grabbed you shoulder and dragged you into his side. Laying a blanket over the both of you he turned on your favorite movie. Your eyes widen from shock that he remembered your favorite movie. You grabbed the bag of snacks and seen it had all your favorites. Looking at Schlatt on shock. “What?” He asked lifting and eyebrow. “You remembered all my favorite stuff” you said to him. “Yeah of course why wouldn't I” he said. “I don't know just people don't usually remember these things about me” you told. “Well I remembered” he said. A smile grew on your face. “thank you,for everything your so sweet to me” I told him. “Yeah well maybe that's because I like you” your eyes grew wide. You didn't know what to say or do just stare at him in shock. He just rolled his eyes smashing his lips into yours. You relaxed a little and kissed back. Pulling away you buried your face into his chest embarrassed. You can feel him laugh a little. Smiling to yourself you spoke into his chest. “I like you too” feeling him wrap his arm around you. “I know” is all he said. Looking up at him “how” he smiled at you. “You are way more obvious than you think you are '' blushing you turn to the TV trying to hide your face from him. He pulled you close to him. You enjoyed being so close to him. This was exactly what you wanted.

[leclsrc]

This req is gonna sound weird but do yk that scene in friends where ross is hugging rachel by the legs? on his knees? could i have a charles drabble w/ that? ty!

the final frame – cl16

You and Charles move in together, among other things.

auds here... this req is from before christmas hahaha. i do not watch friends so i scoured the internet for this ‘scene’, i hope i was right and i hope i did this req justice! this is the last one for now and i’ll hopefully reopen them fr in a minute. title from this

The night’s colder than you anticipated, a cool draft sending goosebumps up your forearm as you inspect the fillet of salmon in the oven. You step forward, off where you’d been leaning on the island, to heave the window shut—the act usually requires all your strength—but Charles bounds into you from behind, pressing insistent, laughing kisses onto your neck.

“C,” you say, giggling yourself, a hand coming up to stroke at the nape of his neck. “Stop, there are people in the next room.”

He bites on your jaw a little and you laugh. “Next room, babe. Like, right in the next—just two metres—!”

Laughing still, he finally lets up and effortlessly shuts the window himself. He pecks another kiss, just on the tip of your nose, murmurs I love you and lets it settle into the herb-smelling air. “Are you tipsy?” You ask, teasing. He winks.

“No—really, though,” you press a little, lacing your hands together. “You’re fine?”

“Totally.” He smiles. “Bit nervous.”

“I was, too,” you start, squeezing his hand, “until I remembered these are literally just our friends. And they’re stupid, and they’ll probably love us even if we announced we murdered someone.”

He nods and smiles, slots your mouths together. When he pulls away, he murmurs, “I love you. You look beautiful.”

Really, you’re just in a two-year-old dress from a flea market in Provence, and your hair is dry and ratty and tied into a bun, but you appreciate the compliment. He’s being genuine, eyes gliding over you with ease as he presses yet another kiss to your cheek; you loop your arms around his neck, smiling up at him. This is so foolish, you think, to be so idiotically in love like this, but it’s Charles, and it makes so much sense.

“You’re glowing, really.” He doesn’t give, still spouting compliments like a broken fountain. 

“You suck.” You’ve never been good at accepting compliments, which seems ironic because you’re with a man who loves words, loves to tell you how much you mean to him, muffled by skin or said through a mic or in French or Italian. You tug him closer. “Should we go?”

He pauses, exhales. “Yeah. Let’s.”

Your friend group has gathered here, at Charles’ place, under the pretense that you’re trying to finish the ridiculously expensive bottle of wine Charles had purchased from France, but really, it’s for you both to announce your moving in together. Little milestones like these have always been celebrated by your group, and this is no different; tonight, Max has even volunteered to fix the clock that permanently reads 12:38 on Charles’ flat’s mantle.

You lead the way from the kitchen into the living room, where everyone is engaged in some kind of chatter or activity. Lily’s legs are draped over Alex’s lap and she’s coaching him through a Rubik’s cube. Lando is busy telling a joke to Carlos and Isa. And Max is three feet off the ground fiddling with a clock, turning deviously to ask: “Where have you two been?”

“Shagging,” you reply with nonchalance. 

“Your hair’s still perfect,” Lily says disapprovingly. “Don’t lie!”

You roll your eyes, stifling a smile as you lean into Charles’ arm that’s wrapped itself around your shoulders. In the future, you’ll tell yourself you should’ve noticed his clammy hand pressed against your arm, or turned and noticed his blank stare, his too-nervous gait. So many signs, you’ll think, and you ignored them all because you felt so damn happy. “Okay, I’m lying. The truth is…”

You turn to him, brows raising. “…you wanna go?”

“I wan—do you?”

“Sure, if you—”

“Just tell us!” Lando yells impatiently, sitting straighter, abandoning the joke in favor of this. “Tell us. Now!”

“Okay, um, we—well, a few months ago we decided we kind of. No, we definitely wanted to live together. And, to save you all the sexy details of getting leases and looking around Monaco for flats—we got one just two weeks ago. So this is—what it is, is it’s, uh, really a dinner to celebrate saying bye-bye to Charles’ flat. Okay? Right. Okay.”

You pause. The room erupts in whoops and cheers—many utterances of the word finally! float across the room. Immediately Isa and Lily are standing, demanding to see pictures of the new place, directions they can input into their cars and phones so they know exactly how to get there. Carlos, Lando, and Alex all cheer, offer alcohol as housewarming gifts. Max nearly drops the clock.

And this is it, you think, the rest of your life’s been decided. With this group, and your Charles, and the flat that will be yours by tomorrow morning.

—

Your house doesn’t feel much like home.

You know it’s an unfair statement, that it’s only really been two, three months of living together. But something has shifted, something you cannot name no matter how hard you try to. It’s just as cold tonight as it was the night you were in Charles’ old place announcing this one, but everything feels different now.

The move had started excitedly, with you sending near daily updates to the group chat with Isa and Lily, of paint swatches and ship-ins from IKEA. They sent flowers, came over to inspect the place, and so did everyone else—Max returned the now repaired clock, nailed it onto a spot on the wall the entire group agreed on. Slowly, bit by bit, the place began to feel like it was yours. 

But the nights without Charles grew long, and the days with him at work or at the gym or at a media affair—some of which he’d easily denied in favor of you before—grew more frequent. The flat, big and wide and lofty in an affluent neighborhood, felt bigger when he was gone. You were alone, a stranger in your own house, without him. 

You can’t pinpoint anything.

You can’t pinpoint the when, the how, the why, the if. To you, everything is vague, and that’s the worst part: how can you fix something you can barely understand? You haven’t shared a cup of coffee in ages, and the most you see of him is half his foot departing the front door in the morning. It could be work, it could be the preparing for the season, but in six years of being together nothing’s felt quite like this. You wonder if it’s deliberate. 

But your texts to Isa and Lily stay the same. Cream or eggshell? Cerulean or slate? And when they ask about Charles, you ignore the bite of guilt and lie instead. C and I just had brunch, he said eggshell, but the truth is, you’re the one settling on eggshell. You’d asked him ‘cream or eggshell’ three weeks ago and he said he’d think about it but he didn’t come home until four, and he hasn’t answered it.

He gets in on Saturday night earlier than usual, eyes dark with exhaustion. He’s wearing a suit, and you don’t know why. You can’t place half the places he’s been lately. His texts are choppy, standoffish. Here. Leaving soon. I’ll see you? “Hi, baby,” he croaks when he sees you nursing wine at the kitchen counter.

“C,” you say quietly. “Hi. When did you get in?”

“Just now, I was driven.” 

“Oh.” You pause. “Want a glass?” You raise the bottle.

He seems to hesitate, stopping in his tracks a bit before nodding defeatedly and pacing toward you. He presses a kiss to your forehead, then your cheekbone, then finally your lips. You relish this, because you haven’t had it in so long. This intimacy, this affection, this kiss that isn’t pressed onto you while you’re asleep and he comes home with apologies flowing from his lips.

You pull away, pour him a glass of red. “Isn’t it crazy to think we have a home now?”

His smile flickers a little, and you notice. You try not to sound nosy when you pry. “C,” you say, the lump rising in your throat. Here you are, celebrating one of the happiest chapters of your life, but Charles won’t even meet your eyes. This is it. After months of not knowing, you think, you have to know. Now. “Are you okay?”

The wine is only half-poured. He sighs shakily, shakes his head.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He sounds so, so far away.

“You’re scaring me,” you say, laughing. But you sound more nervous than amused. He sounds nervous, too.

“Baby,” he says suddenly, like a dam in his mind has broken and everything is spilling out, all the damage, all of it, and it’s washing onto you like a massive wash of water. “Baby, I—I fucked up.”

You cannot withstand the wave. Your eyebrows knit together. “Tell me,” you insist. Even more surprisingly, he crumples to his knees, hugs your thighs and leans against you. You press, anyway. “Talk to me, C. Please.”

“You can’t fix this,” he says resolutely, “you abso—you can’t.”

“I will,” you say. “I love you.”

“I slept with someone else.” This is a great, big, terrible feeling. You really can’t fix this. You’re back to being clueless. Your heart stops, and so does your breath, heavy and heaving. Words are dry when they try to leave your throat, leap off your tongue. Your hand, threaded into Charles’ hair, pauses. You feel him crying, but you feel nothing else.

“You what,” you ask. It’s so dry, everything is desert dry. A whisper, a breath, a murmur in the cold kitchen.

“I’m sorry.”

“C,” you say, and you can’t even cry yet. You’re stunned, struck with dizzy disbelief. “Was it—when, like, last season…?”

His silence answers you, and you stumble backwards, out of his grasp. You shake your head, like you’re trying to quell the tears, the lump in your throat, the nerves in your stomach that threaten to bubble over.

“Don’t say this year.” You shake your head, over and over, shaking and shaking, like it will rid you of the conversation you’re currently having. You think of the paperwork, of the nearly dropped clock, of signing the lease, of eggshell and flowers, of housewarming gifts yet to be unwrapped.

Tearily, you muster, “Don’t tell me, C. Don’t fucking do this to me, please. Don’t.”

“I barely even know her,” he says. “Once. It happened once. It meant nothing.” Your soul crushes, shot and wilted.

“No, it meant everything,” you say angrily. You’re angry now. Angry and sad, and furious and boiling with rage. You’re everything. You’re a house fire, right here in the flat. 

And you stand, feet bare on the tile, thinking about how you’ll have to live with this forever, branded like an ugly stamp. You loved and he did not. Get out, you say. Get out and don’t come back, I don’t care. Don’t fucking come back. You shove him weakly, but he gets the message, ushers himself to the coat rack. You’re not even yelling. You’re just breathing heavy, shaking your head, like you’re denying this ever happened.

You only cry when he’s left, loud, exruciating sobs. He wrestles himself outside still apologizing, saying he’ll be back tomorrow. You’re torn between hoping he will be and hoping you never see him again, crumpled to the hardwood of your brand new house, knees weak, heart weaker. You don’t get up until morning. 

[starcrossedxwriter]

Wicked Fantasies Part 4 (MBJ x Black OC)

Warnings: mentions of grief and death… NSFW, public sex, name calling, BDSM themes

A/N: lol remember when I said this was gonna be two parts? Well I finished both so I said why not lol long chapter ahead but I hope you enjoy!

***

“It’s really insane when you think about it,” she laughed. “I mean God, these people are saying shit I wouldn’t dare breathe out loud… to a complete stranger. Do your DMs always look like this?” 

Michael nodded, causing Raven to shake her head in complete disbelief. “I don’t see most of ‘em but my team likes to share the wildest ones sometimes. The people are mad creative.”

“You don’t ever feel objectified by it?” Raven asked, her nails tapping quietly against her screen as she deleted DM after DM. 

“Sometimes but it’s par the course in my world. And they do it to all celebrities. It’s also not like me and my team don’t play into that shit. So it’s kinda hard to get mad. When you get branded as a sex symbol, people treat you like one. And generally, people don’t mean any harm by it. As long as people, you know, keep that shit on social, I don’t get bothered.”

“Fair. People need to like get offline and touch grass. The amount of women in my DMs insulting me for ‘stealing you?’ You’d think I wrecked their fantasy home. It’s kinda disturbing, not gonna lie.” 

Despite the rise in explicit DMs, Raven was pleasantly surprised at how little her life had changed since she became the public girlfriend of a mega movie star. She had never seen so many follow requests in her life and the cameras swarmed the library for the first few days. However, other than that and one or two articles detailing the sparse details of her life that were available, things were pretty much exactly the same. It also helped that there was a major celebrity scandal each week so their relationship had quickly become old news. But they were the new “it couple” on the block. The world bought their act hook, line, and sinker. A few more months of this and the debacle of their first date would be a funny passing joke on SNL or Late Night tv and nothing more. 

“I feel bad dragging you to this shit on your birthday,” Michael mumbled apologetically. 

Raven scoffed. “It’s a dinner party at Ryan Coogler’s with the cast of my favorite superhero movie of all time,” she exclaimed, a bit of her fan girl side slipping out. “Hardly a punishment. We got our photo so you can post something cute and sappy for the gram and I get to do something fun completely unrelated to my birthday. Win, win.” She assured him with a smile. 

Michael still did not understand her aversion to her birthday, it was one of the many things about her that were a big question mark. He thought she was just being modest when she told him so when Ryan invited the couple to dinner at his spot, he felt bad for even asking her to give up her special day for a work event. However, she said yes immediately, clearly thankful for a work obligation to fill up her evening. 

Her phone rang, interrupting Michael’s response. She rolled her eyes when she saw her sister’s name pop up. She had been dodging her and her dad’s calls left and right since she and Michael’s first date weeks ago. She knew her sister would find out from social media and would tell their dad, and she knew they both were just calling with their hands outstretched. She could tolerate them asking for her money and the money she did not have yet, she always found it and, even if she complained, she would give it. But she would not entertain requests for money that was not hers to give away, nor would she give Michael the impression she was a gold digger trying to bleed him dry. He was upholding his end of the bargain, she would not milk him for anymore than that. She let it go to voicemail, however, soon the car filled with the constant dings of her texts.

“You gotta take that?” 

“Umm… yea,” Michael could feel her entire mood sour at the idea. “It’s just my sister. She’ll never stop calling if I don’t. You mind? Sorry,” her tone was apologetic, knowing how frustrating it would be to listen to half a conversation in a car you can’t escape from. 

She held the phone to her ear and waited for her to pick up, making sure to turn the volume down as low as possible in hopes Michael would hear as little of whatever insanity her sister would spew. She knew she was not calling to merely offer happy birthday wishes, if she even acknowledged the day at all.

“Raven! I’ve been calling you for days. What the fuck?” Kiara’s voice filled her ears. 

“Hi Kiara. Sorry, I’ve been a little busy. How are you?” 

“I’m fine.” She responded shortly without asking Raven the same. “And yea, a little busy all over the fuckin’ ShadeRoom. You know how fuckin’ embarrassing it is to find out you’re dating MY celebrity crush on Insta?? You didn’t even like that nigga or his movies.” 

Not true, Raven wanted to yell into the phone. She and her sister were not close enough to know each other’s favorite movies or actors, hell even favorite colors, let alone gossip about their relationships together. So she was not sure why Kiara even expected to know about her relationship, even if it hadn’t been a complete farce. 

“You have me out here lookin’ stupid as shit to my friends.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize how it would impact you.” There was a hint of sarcasm in her voice, which she could tell Michael picked up on as he choked back a laugh. However, she knew Kiara was too self absorbed to notice.

“When are you gonna bring him here for us to meet him? The girls want to meet him too.”  

“You and dad are always welcome to come to LA and meet him. O-Or just, you know, visit me?” she threw him an apologetic shrug that just made him laugh. She wished she could laugh at how quickly her family’s tune had changed about seeing her. She had invited them to LA countless times before everything fell apart but they couldn’t have cared less about her life and how she was doing. And when she tried to visit them, they made excuse after excuse about why it was not a “good time.” But now that she had a famous boyfriend, it was “when are you coming to visit?” As if the invitation had always been open. She had not seen her family in two years. “Don’t think either of us have time to come to y’all with his schedule. He’s going out of town soon for his new movie.”

“Maybe I can convince dad if you can get us tickets to the premiere of that movie…. What’s the name? I don’t remember. The girls would love that shit. Or… oh! He has to be invited to the new Black Panther premiere next month too. Maybe we can go to that? I don’t know what that shit’s about but it’s Black Panther so you know hella celebs will be there. He’s gotta be a brand ambassador for some fancy shit. Can you get us some Birkins or something?”

Raven clenched her eyes shut as her sister outlined her laundry list of impossible wants from her “boyfriend.” She knew she could never and would never ask Michael for a fraction of these things. And if she was going to ask him for something out of their contractual obligations, she doubted whether it would be to benefit Kiara of all people. She would do it on behalf of someone who would actually appreciate it.

“I’ll ask him. But maybe for now, you can settle for an autograph? Look, we are actually headed out on a date. Did you or dad need something?”

“Oh yea… I need money for a lawyer for that charge from a couple weeks ago. You know that fuck ass bar is suing us for damages? But that shit wasn’t even our fault.” 

Raven’s head lazily fell to the side as she half-listened to her sister complain for several minutes, drowning on with details from the fight  that made Raven think the bar was well within their rights to demand payment. But accountability was not Kiara’s strong suit. She offered lame “ohs” and “wows” to give the impression that she was truly paying attention. She was just waiting for the ask, there always was one and everything before it was pointless. She finally tuned back in when her sister demanded cash. 

“I gave dad the rest of my savings to bail you and your boyfriend out of jail. And I already sent money for the mortgage and dad’s car. I’m tapped out this month.” 

“Fuck you mean tapped out? You’re living like a fuckin’ big shot in LA with a millionaire for a boyfriend and you can’t slide me money for a lawyer? That’s fuckin’ foul, Raven.” 

Raven clenched her eyes shut. It had already been hard enough to keep up the appearances that she had a thriving career in LA. Adding a fake relationship to the house of lies she existed in did not help matters. Her family had no idea how much she was struggling now and while she knew she could tell them, she did not want to deal with their reactions, which she knew would likely be to blame her. She felt enough guilt and blame for her situation as it was. 

“I can’t just make money I don’t have materialize, Kiara.” She lowered her voice though she knew there was no way Michael was not listening. “You know just because I let you and dad treat me like an ATM, doesn’t mean I do that to other people. I don’t have the money right now but I can pay the bar in installments when I come into more in a couple weeks and just pay off the damages for you.” 

“No, we aren’t payin’ the fuckin’ bar cause we didn’t do shit. And wow… God. You’re so fuckin’ selfish, running off to LA and abandoning us here to make all that money with your fancy degrees and shit.” 

“Did I run off and abandon you or did you make it impossible to stay?” Raven asked, her exhaustion at constantly being the villain of her family’s story getting the better of her. 

“Poor Raven. Always the fuckin’ victim as if everything that’s wrong in this family isn’t your fault. And to pull that card today of all days when you know it’s the anniversary of mom’s death. If it weren’t for you…” Kiara started to say before Raven cut her off, tears welling up in her eyes as she already could hear her sister and father’s voice finishing that sentence. 

“I’ll figure it out and send the money, ok?” She called out, cutting her sister’s words off completely. “I’m getting an advance from my next book in a couple weeks. Find a couple lawyers, meet with them and get their rates and I’ll pay for it. No one crazy expensive, Ki.” 

She knew lying was wrong but she did not have any other option. She couldn’t tell her family where the money would be really coming from. Michael had a whole list of things for her for the next two weeks before he went on his press tour, which meant she would easily make enough to pay her sister’s legal fees and pass it off as an advance. 

“This is me and Jay’s lives, Raven. It’s not like you don’t have the money or access to itto pay for the best.” 

Raven focused her eyes on the ceiling of the car, a sorry attempt to stop tears of guilt and frustration from falling. She felt a tidal wave of shame hit her knowing Michael was seeing her like this. “Whatever you need. But once my advance money is gone, I’m tapped out for a while. Seriously, Kiara.” 

“Yea yea yea. I gotta go. I’ll call you in two weeks about the lawyer. Bye.”

Raven clenched her phone in her hand with a fist, her entire body turning away from Michael as a small frustrated sob escaped her that she couldn’t quite keep in. She tossed her phone down on the seat and wiped her eyes. 

She had hoped to make it through today, the annual reminder of the worst day of her life, without thinking too much about it. But there her sister was, picking at the threads of her composure, forcing her to unravel. 

The worst part of all of it was she could not even be mad at her sister or her father and how they treated her. She deserved it and she knew it. She had ruined their lives and this was her atonement. So she endured it, every slight, every barb, every wound because she - perhaps foolishly - hoped that if she kept reaching out her hand and kept giving, one day they would reach back and not expect something in it. They would forgive her and she would have a real family again. 

It did not matter how they spoke to her or treated her, she just repeated the same mantra over and over and over again.  

Keep reaching out your hand, she reminded herself as she took a few deep breaths. 

“You good? We can drive around for a bit longer if you need a minute.” 

“Yea, yea.” She sniffled and cleared her throat. “Just stupid family shit. One day we’ll have a date without me crying o-or having a panic attack,” she let out a watery laugh as she forced a smile onto her lips. 

The smile was wide, and Michael knew, to a stranger, it would likely seem authentic and bright. It would certainly be enough to fool everyone at dinner tonight. But he could see its inauthenticity in her eyes, that’s where all of her emotions shown through. And her eyes? They were void of even the minuscule amounts of light and joy he typically saw and that were present moments before that phone rang. Now, she just looked torn down. And this version of her did not have enough energy to do more than put on that facade and pray no one looked too closely. But when it came to Raven, Michael always looked too closely… and he knew that was the problem. 

Michael slumped back in his seat for a few moments, the wheels turning in his mind as he studied her. He knew he could continue with their plan for the night, that she would play her part and play it well. However, he could not, in good faith, allow that. All their dates thus far had been about him. She deserved for the one day to celebrate her to be all about her. He pulled out his phone and went to Google. After a few minutes of searching, he closed that and opened his call log. 

“Hey Coog.” His voice filled the car, Raven glancing over to him as she continued trying to reign in her emotions so she could play her part.  “My bad, man but we ain’t gon’ make it tonight. Send my apologies to the rest of the team and your wife.”

Raven’s head whipped to the side as she listened to his words. She could hear the faint accent of Ryan Coogler asking if everything was ok. She immediately turned to him and threw an expression at Michael before mouthing, “What are you doing??” 

Michael merely winked at her before answering Ryan. “Yea yea. Just somethin’ came up I gotta take care of.” Michael chuckled. “Aight, ‘preciate you, brah. I’ll make it up to you. Talk to you later.” 

As soon as he hung up the phone, Raven immediately spoke up. “What was that? Why aren’t we going to dinner?” 

Michael ignored her and directed his next statement to Allen. “New plan, Allen. Just sent you the address.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

He continued to avoid her confused and wide eyes. He could not sit at a dinner party, regardless of how fun it was going to be to see the entire cast, knowing Raven was in pain. And even if he did not know or understand the extent of it, he could empathize and recognize she needed a night of someone caring for her, not the other way around. 

“Where are we going?” 

“You’ll see.” 

When Allen finally stopped, Michael helped Raven out and handed one of the cards out of his wallet to Allen, whispering something in his ear that Raven could not hear. With that, Allen sped off, leaving the two behind. Michael placed his hand on the small of Raven’s back and directed her down the block. 

“What about your dinner party?” 

“That nigga hosts a dinner party for everythin’. My role in the movie ain’t that big. Just settin’ up future shit so they won’t miss me. He’ll host another after the premiere next month and at the end of the award season if it gets nominated. Trust me, we ain’t missing shit.” 

“But you’re paying me to go to work events with you?” Raven hated that once again, he felt the need to cater to her and her emotions. “I don’t need to be coddled. O-or for you to rearrange shit to celebrate a day I don’t even want to celebrate. You’re paying me to do a job, let me do it.” 

“Yea and now I’m paying you to have a relaxin’ evening with me. This’ll be more fun anyway. We can still pretend it ain’t your birthday if you want.” 

“Relaxing… at a rage room?” She glanced up and gestured toward the sign outside of the building they were standing in front of. It was quiet, no one but a front desk attendant gawking at them. But she was not surprised it was quiet for a Wednesday night. 

“You tellin’ me you don’t have some rage you wanna exercise a bit, ma?”

She chewed on her lip, she had more than enough rage to get out, but she needed to fix that on her own time, not his. “I do… we all do, I’m sure but… then you shouldn’t pay me for the night. This isn’t work. You’re just doing this to make me feel better and I’m good. We really should go to that party. You can’t just blow off work obligations because your fake girlfriend’s having a bad day.”

Michael closed the distance between them and used his fingers to pry her lip out from between her teeth. He wanted to smile at how she rolled her eyes and pouted a bit, clearly resisting the urge to draw her lip back where it was.  

“You aren’t ‘good.’ I don’t know you that well but I do know that much. Just because this ain’t real doesn’t mean I want to watch you suffer on the one day of the year that’s supposed to be about you. A dinner party isn’t what you need. You need fun, seems like you get little of that shit anyway. So since I’m payin’ for your time, I’m tellin’ you not to worry about my shit. And I’m tellin’ you that your only job today is to have fun. And I don’t like having my money wasted, baby girl.” His voice dropped to his commanding tone, a tone that let her know he’d pull out the flogger again if she did waste his time. 

She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Fine. But this really isn’t necessary.” 

“It’s my money. Let me decide what’s necessary and what’s not. Now come on.” He pulled her in the door, using his award winning smile to get them into the largest room that was clearly meant for more than two people. 

The attendant got them set up in their protective gear and closed the door behind them, locking them in the room for an hour. 

“So what do we do?” Raven muttered as she glanced around, quietly giggling at their absurd bee-keeper style gear. The room was filled with breakable items, bats and golf clubs and other makeshift weapons. There were holes in the walls and punching bags and dummies and stacks of plates. 

He picked up a vase and chucked it at the wall, the glass shattering against the wall. Then he picked up another one and handed it to her. 

His hand pressed into her chest, right above her heart. “Every negative thing you feel in here? Destroy everythin’ in this room til it doesn’t feel like you’re drownin’ in it.” 

She grabbed the vase from his hand and held it for a moment before she threw it as hard as she could at the same spot on the wall. Lacking his strength, it did not make it to the wall but she did enjoy the rush of adrenaline and satisfying crash it made as it shattered to the ground.  She did not even need further prompting as she picked up the discarded baseball bat near her and started using it to break everything she could see that was breakable. 

Michael spent most of the hour cheering her on as she released every bit of pent up frustration and anger and pain and shame she felt. She was so tightly wound all of the time, never letting any of it show so she could never let any of it go. But this was a cathartic release that she did not even know she needed. She knew she would feel it all again tomorrow but every crash, every piece of glass shattered, every dent she made into the walls of that room felt like a small bit of everything she kept in started to vanish piece by piece.

By the time the buzzer rang, signaling the end of their session, she was exhausted, her arms tired but she had never felt lighter. 

“That was…” she breathed heavily as they walked out toward Michael’s SUV. “Amazing. I didn’t know I needed that. Thank you.” 

“See? You gotta trust me more, baby girl. I know more than just what your body needs.” He winked at her as he closed the door behind him. “And now, we have one more stop.” 

They spent the entire drive recapping their favorite things to break in the rage room, which “weapons” caused the most damage. 

“Remind me never to piss you off,” Michael joked as Allen pulled off onto an overlook. 

“What do you mean??” 

“You were downright terrifyin’ with that damn bat. Can’t have you goin’ all Jazmine Sullivan or Carrie Underwood on my car.” 

“Whatchu know about Before He Cheats?” 

He let out a barking laugh. “Enough to know niggas go up for that song, me included.” He admitted. “But if you try to sell that to a gossip site, I’ll deny it.” 

“Wow, learning something new about you every day. And please, I’m sure there are more effective ways to hurt you if you pissed me off,” she teased. “You’d have a new car before I even finished taking a bat to the old one.”

“You might be right about that.”

“Where are we?” She asked as Michael helped her out of the car and she followed him around to the back of the SUV. He opened the trunk and laid out a picnic blanket and soft pillows that Allen had purchased while they were raging and jogged up to the front to grab the box of Prince St. Pizza that had made Raven’s stomach growl the entire ride and a bottle of white wine. 

“Overlook by the Hollywood sign. Perfect view of the city with my favorite white wine and favorite pizza.”

Raven smiled as he helped her climb into the back of the SUV, both of them leaning on the back as they looked out over the city. The silence was comforting, both of them eating their way through the giant pepperoni pizza and several glasses of wine. When they finished one bottle, Allen just produced another from the front seat and handed it back to them. 

“Thank you… for tonight,” Raven smiled as he poured her another glass of wine. “I… did really need this. And you didn’t have to.” 

“Don’t mention it. Seemed like you needed this more than I needed a dinner party.” He paused. “So your sister… did she even say happy birthday to you?” 

Raven let out a cold laugh as she took a long sip from her glass. “Nope. But I didn’t expect her to. Told you,” she whispered as her fingers played with the strings on the edge of their blanket. “Just another day. 

“So that’s why you don’t celebrate your birthday? Your mom?” At her startled expression, he shrugged apologetically. “I didn’t hear everythin’ but your sister was talkin’ loud as fuck toward the end. When’d she die?”

Raven sighed. “She died in labor. Had some condition, doctors told her no more kids… she got pregnant by accident. My dad wanted her to have an abortion, she refused. She gave birth and died a couple hours later.”  

“I’m sorry,” he offered quietly, his hand rubbing her thigh. He had tuned out most of their conversation, not wanting to eavesdrop. But the moment he heard frustration and pain in Raven’s voice, he could no longer block it out. He heard every word her sister hurled at her and he hated that they treated her so callously. “And they blame you?” 

She wiped her tears for a moment before muttering. “I blame me.” 

“You were a baby, didn’t ask to be born. How is her choice your fault?” Michael reasoned, hating that she blamed herself for something so out of her control. But he also knew grief was not the most logical of emotions, particularly grief as deep seeded as this.

“My dad could barely look at me as a kid, wanted nothing to do with me beyond keeping me clothed and fed. The only person who didn’t blame me was my grandma, she basically raised me until she passed when I was in middle school. And I get it,” her voice broke slightly with her grief. “If it weren’t for me, my dad would still have his wife and my sister would have a mom. So yea… I was born and she died for that… not much worth celebrating in my book… or anyone’s really.” Her voice trailed off to a soft whisper before she shook her head and rolled her shoulders back as if she could shake out the negative emotions. “But you didn’t bring me to this gorgeous spot to trade childhood trauma. Thank you for helping me take my mind off all that for a bit.” He could tell by her tone that she did not want to discuss it anymore. “I don’t know why you’re so nice to me,” she mumbled as she took another bite of pizza. 

He wrinkled his nose. “Am I not supposed to be?”

“No, no. I just… still waiting for you to be what I’d thought you’d be, I guess. What Tasha warned me you’d be.” 

“And what was that?” 

“An asshole,” she answered bluntly, Michael chuckling as he bowed his head. 

“I am… an asshole,” he admitted. “I’ll never deny that. Couple bad decisions after a bad break up and Hollywood bad boy became the image so I leaned into it. Self-centered, arrogant, cold… Aside from my family, that’s the version of me people see.” 

“But that’s not you.” 

He raised an eyebrow. “How you know? We just met a month ago.” 

She examined him with a soft smile before sitting up a bit straighter. “Because a self centered, arrogant asshole doesn’t do half the things you’ve done for me. You don’t treat me like a body or a business transaction. You treat me like… a friend? Even when you have no reason to. You may be a jerk but hell, plenty of niggas are jerks. You may even be a little selfish, not shocking when the world caters to you. But I think the real you is kind and thoughtful. I don’t know why you don’t want to show the world the side of you I see.” 

“Cause that nigga gets taken advantage of, gets heartbroken.” 

She nodded, she knew more than a thing or two about being taken advantage of. 

“Who was it then?” 

“Hm?” 

“The girl that broke your heart and created this version of you?” 

He let out a humorless chuckle and placed his hand on her knee. “One day, I’ll tell you.” He paused, glancing at her. “I treat you like a friend because I think we are… friends?”

He wanted to be so much more than friends. Every date, every moment with her he realized that more and more. However, if friends was as intimate as their relationship could ever truly be, he would settle for it. Anything, just to have her nearby. 

The small smile on her face turned brighter. “I think we’re friends too.” 

With the declaration of their friendship, both of them laid back against the pillows on their backs so they could stare out of the sunroof at the midnight sky. The sky was so perfectly clear, she could see endless stretches of stars. 

“What made you decide to be a writer?” Michael asked as they laid there. 

“I used to dream of being anywhere but where I was,” she admitted. “Still do most of the time. And when I was a kid, books, particularly fantasy books, were just the one place I could always escape to. Other worlds and lives so vivid so I could leave this one behind for a short while. And they always gave me hope that things could get better, maybe. I wouldn’t get saved by a dazzling prince or whatever. But they made me think things could turn around somehow. But when I was young, so few books had characters who looked like me or were written by women who looked like me.” 

“‘If there’s a book you wanna read, but it hasn’t been written, then you have to write it,’” he quoted the quote she had above her desk in her room. 

“Exactly.” 

“Why’d you stop after one book?” 

She clenched her eyes shut. “Didn’t have much of a choice. A… misunderstanding,” she muttered the word bitterly, “with my editor at my publishing house… and they dropped me, wasn’t able to find another. So I got the job at the library to tide me over till I figured shit out.  That was… about a year and a half ago? Haven’t been able to write much since.”

“A misunderstanding?” He repeated, glancing over at her, his question clear even though he did not explicitly ask it. However, when he felt her body shift uncomfortably next to him, he quickly backtracked. She had already rehashed so much that she did not need to tonight, there was no need to unearth anything else. She kept giving him more puzzle pieces but the picture remained a mystery. However, he could tell that it was one that held as much darkness as it did beauty. 

His hand grasped hers and squeezed. “You ain’t gotta tell me. Add it to the one day list?” 

Her eyes were still closed but he felt her squeeze back. “Thanks.” 

Silence fell over them as they laid there. Michael rarely just laid and did nothing like this. It was contemplative and nice, to simply exist beside her. He spent so much time being on, playing a part or an image. But he liked that he did not have to do that with Raven when they were alone. She let him be Bakari… the version of him that was only safe with his family and closest friends. 

“Tonight… I needed it too,” he offered, ending the silent reprieve. “So thank you for indulgin’ me.”

Raven turned and propped her head up on her hand, turning her body to face his profile. He looked different bathed in the moonlight. He was gorgeous, anyone with eyes could see that. But he seemed more youthful to her, his features more relaxed than they typically were when they were on dates. His jaw was relaxed, his lips settled into a smile that was effortless… not his movie star smile, which she had seen enough times to recognize the nuances that signaled its inauthenticity. This one though, his real smile,… it made him heartbreakingly gorgeous.  

“Thank you for caring about me a-and for today. Haven’t had anyone do that in a long time,” she admitted before settling back on her pillows.

He knew she had that void in her life but hearing her admit it out loud broke his heart in places he was not expecting.

“What about right now?” 

“What about right now?” She asked, her tone filled with confusion. 

“Do you wish you were anywhere else but here right now?” He asked.

She tilted her head to glance at him, finding his eyes trained on her and not on the sky above. She let out a deep breath as she studied him. 

“No, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” 

He smiled. “Good.”  

They turned back toward the sunroof, content smiles on both of their faces. They did not talk much beyond that, both of them enjoying the silence and each other’s company. 

She did not even know how much time had passed when something finally broke that precious silence, the buzzing of Michael’s phone. Instinctively, she glanced over and caught a glimpse of his bright screen. Tasha’s name scrolled across, Michael sighing a bit as he sent the call to voicemail. 

Suddenly, Raven felt overwhelmed with discomfort. He was still seeing Tasha… why did that upset her so much? He had never promised not to, at least not to her. So she knew she had no reason to be mad. But she could stop the claws of jealousy from sinking their talons into her heart and soul. And when that subsided, all she felt was inadequacy. Another moment where she was not enough for someone. 

She cleared her throat. “It’s… um kinda late?” she glanced down at her watch before sitting up and sliding out of the back of the car. “L-Looks like you’ve got plans?” She tried to hide the bitterness in her voice but she knew she failed, knew Michael could see all of it.  

Michael shook his head. “Nah, it’s not wh-” 

Raven cut him off. “I have an early shift tomorrow… would hate to oversleep. Mind taking me home?” She did not know why she lied, her shift was not until noon. However, she knew it was an excuse he could not argue with. 

Raven started to walk around to the car door when she felt Michael’s grip around her arm, halting her movements. Michael hated that she saw that. Similar to her, but for entirely different reasons, he had been dodging Tasha’s calls like they were the plague. Usually he reached out to her to set up dates but when two weeks passed with radio silence from her best and most frequent customer, she started calling more often. He met up with her once, an act he regretted the morning after when he woke up. But she had promised discretion, if anyone knew how much of a farce he and Raven’s relationship was, it was Tasha. But he did not even enjoy it in the same way, he felt like he was just going through the motions. So when she reached back out earlier that week to set up another date, he ignored it. And ignored all the subsequent messages. He could not avoid her forever, but he knew he needed to put her on pause until Raven was out of his life and out of his system. While he was drugged up on her, no other fix was as worthy or quite as right. 

But he did not know how to explain that to Raven. He had not promised her exclusivity but it had most certainly been implied. He would not be pleased if he found out another man she had fucked was calling her.

“Tasha and I aren’t…” he started to say but Raven pressed her hand to his chest to stop him. 

“You don’t gotta lie to me. You’re allowed to sleep with other women, Michael. This isn’t real, we’re just friends at the end of the day. All good. I’m really tired though and need to get up early.” 

With that, she gently maneuvered her arm out of his grasp and slid into her seat in the car. She was thankful with every passing mile that took her closer to her apartment and out of his presence. She did not have a right to be upset but she could not change the fact that she was. She enjoyed being his only and she wasn’t, and she was wholly unprepared for how that would make her feel. But that’s what she got, for thinking his feelings for her extended past their business relationship. He was kind but she had signed up to be used and he was getting what he wanted. She had to accept that. 

“Thanks for the ride, Allen,” she said as she opened the door. She fixed her face and offered him a smile that was a bit forced but, despite the end to the night, still was partially genuine. “Thanks for tonight, seriously. I had fun.” His phone buzzed again, causing her to grimace. “And have fun with Tasha. Night, Michael.” She did not let him respond before she let the car door slam shut and she raced inside as fast her legs in her heels could carry her. 

Michael groaned, his head thudding back against the headrest as he looked at his phone screen. 

“I fucked that up, didn’t I?” 

“Wasn’t your shining moment with her, sir.” 

He clenched his hand into a fist before answering the phone. He never wanted to see that look on Raven’s face again and truthfully, he did not care to frequent Tasha anymore. He knew Raven and he had a shelf life that would expire but even when it did, he was not sure he could go back to fucking Tasha like Raven never existed. She had infiltrated every aspect of his being in the last two week and tonight had only made him fall deeper for her, made him want to give her everything she did not have. It was strange to feel this emotion again, to long for someone like he did her. Even if it could not be something long term, he wanted to savor it while he had her. 

But that was not something he was truly ready to admit to himself, let alone to Tasha. So he decided to take the easy road out and blame it on something else: the image and his manager. Tasha would have to respect that, right? And he would spin some lie about seeing her after Raven and he broke up, even though he was not sure if he had the desire for dispassionate, unattached sex in him anymore. 

“Hey Tash,” he muttered coldly into the phone. 

“Hey baby… wanted to see if you wanted to meet up tonight? I miss you,” her voice was sultry and inviting, a voice that, once upon a time, would have had him racing through LA to get to a hotel with her. But today, it did nothing. “And a little birdie told me you were headed to Paris in two weeks for press. Should I pack a bag?” 

Michael rolled his eyes. That was his own fault. He flew her out once last year to Cannes Film Festival and now she thought she was invited on every trip. There was only one person he wanted to take on this trip with him and after tonight, he was not even sure she’d say yes. 

“Yea… listen Tash. You know how I feel about you. But I can’t see you anymore… just for a few months.” 

“What?? Why?” 

He rolled his eyes, she knew why. “Well, you know… I got this relationship with Raven that is really important for my career and I can’t be seen with other women. We’re gonna have an amicable split in a few months and then I’m all yours again. But until then, we gotta keep our distance.” 

He could hear the frustration and bitterness in her voice, though she tried and failed to hide it. “You’re my best customer, Michael. You can’t just… drop me outta nowhere.” 

“It’s just temporary. Just a couple months. And I’ll send you some money to tide you over till you get a new client. Also means no Paris. Sorry, I just really gotta focus on cleaning up the image over the next few months. You understand, don’t you? You know you’ll always be my favorite girl.”

There was a long pause that made Michael check to ensure the call had not been disconnected. 

“Yea I understand. Just a few months though, right? Then you’re droppin’ the new girl?” 

Michael rolled his eyes before nodding, though she could not see him. “Of course, baby. Just a couple months and then she’s gone. Promise.” 

They shared a few pleasantries before Michael hung up and prayed she did not call him again for a while. His fingers itched to text or call Raven and explain. But something stopped him, the part of him that still adamantly rejected his feelings toward her roaring. He did not owe her an explanation, he did not owe her anything but the money he paid for her dates. She did not ask for an explanation either so why would he volunteer one? Those two parts of him battled until he threw his phone to the side in frustration. 

He sighed and took a deep breath as Allen pulled up in front of his family home in the hills, his oasis, Raven’s perfume still lingering in the car… that hint of lavender danced on his nose. He fell asleep with that phantom smell haunting him, Raven finding ways to pop up in every dream he had that night, leaving him no escape from her or his feelings for her. 

***

“Here you go.” Michael handed her an envelope filled with cash. “I’ll be gone by the time you wake up.” 

Raven nodded and stored it in her overnight bag before grabbing her clutch. They were finally alone after being poked and prodded all afternoon by his stylist and glam teams to get ready for the premiere. They had ten minutes before the car would be there to take them. And then Michael would be jetting off at an ungodly hour to New York and then Paris for press. Raven was actually a bit sad to see him go. 

Though they never discussed the Tasha debacle from her birthday two weeks prior, she and Michael were slowly but surely getting closer and closer each day. They had had an event or something to go to almost every night, Raven was shocked at the amount of money she had been able to make in such a short window of time. Even helping her sister with her lawyer, she felt as if she could actually breathe easy for the first time in a while. And on the nights they were not together, they generally texted or talked on the phone at some point. They hadn’t had sex again, Raven finding any and all excuses to avoid that since he was still seeing Tasha. He never pushed or seemed angry, albeit a bit disappointed when every date ended with her asking Allen to take her home. It was petty she knew it but she did not care. She had no interest in competing with Tasha, she knew who would win every time. 

“Thanks.” 

“You sure you’re gonna be good while I’m gone?” 

Raven glanced at him and rolled her eyes as she threw her lipstick in her clutch. She did not quite understand how the small bag was even functional, it did not even fit her ID. But Michael’s stylist said it fit the look so she did not question it. “Don’t flatter yourself, Mr. Jordan. I’ll be just fine without you for a few weeks.” 

Michael came up behind her and laughed. “You ain’t gotta pretend like you ain’t gon’ miss me, baby girl. I mean… you know, financially. I’m in New York for a week then Paris for a week. That’s a while without dates. I can slide you some extra if you need it.” 

Raven bristled at the idea, she did not want him to view her as a charity case. 

“No,” she responded shortly, immediately regretting the sharp edge in her tone as his face fell. “S-Sorry. No, thank you but I’m good.” 

“Even after your sister’s legal shit or whatever?” 

She let out a small huff. “Yea… she managed to pick the most expensive lawyer below the damn Mason Dixon line but I got it covered, I think. And with this,” she gestured toward her bag. “I’m good on the other stuff too. Seriously, you shouldn’t worry yourself about my finances. I always figure it out.”  

He grabbed her wrist to stop her from walking away from him.

“It ain't charity or worry. Don’t want you stressin’ and shit while I’m gone. And I like to know my friends and everyone on my team are good. You’re both… why would I treat you any differently?” 

“I just don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me. Or fix my problems.”

“You’re here fixin’ my problems. I can’t  return the favor?”

“Because… that’s not what we agreed to. This is a job, you pay me… we go out. That’s it. My family shit has no part in this and isn’t your concern. I’ll deal with them.” 

“Why do you?” At her raised eyebrow, he added, “Deal with that?” 

“You don’t give up on your family. You reach out your hand even when they swat it away. And one day, they’ll see all I’ve done for them and how much I love them and they’ll come around.” 

“Seems to me that you let them bleed you dry as if it’ll pay whatever debt you think you owe them. And they seem content with lettin’ you bleed out in the street.” 

She chuckled mirthlessly. “They’re all I got… so I don’t have much of a choice. It’ll pay off. All of it,” she forced more conviction in her voice. “One day.” 

“You really believe that?” 

She turned to look at him. He could tell there was genuine hope in her eyes, true belief that things would get better. A dreamer, indeed. 

“Yea… I have to.” 

“I dunno... There’s gotta be better out there for you… you certainly deserve better.” There was a not-so-small part of him, a part that grew with every moment he spent with her, that desperately wanted to be that more for her. 

“This world is filled with people who deserve better, Michael. But we’re stuck with the hand we’re dealt until better comes along. And I don’t see any better hands coming my way. Just a long game of this shitty hand,” she whispered the last part under her breath as she checked herself in the mirror once more. She grabbed her clutch and started toward the door. “You ready? Car should be here, right?” 

He hated how resigned she was to her fate and treatment. He had more than enough money to give his family and friends, more than enough for them to take advantage of if they chose and none of them did. Raven had none of that and still gave her last to people that clearly did not appreciate it. And to know, she had every intention of doing it under some misguided belief they would thank her for it later broke his heart. It reminded him of how pure and kind-hearted she was but he knew her efforts would likely be wasted. But he would have loved to be proven wrong. 

He did not know her family so he knew it was wrong to judge them but all he felt was red hot anger. Quite frankly, the only benefit he saw to the reality that this arrangement was fake was that he would not have to meet her family himself. He did not know if he could even sit in the same room with them. 

“Before we go… got somethin’ for you.”

Raven raised an eyebrow, “I don’t need a gift. It’s your special night.” 

“Yea but wanted to give you somethin’ to remember me by. It benefits both of us, don’t worry.” His face was a sly smirk that told her the gift was not a normal one. “But first, Tasha and I aren’t hookin’ up anymore.” 

“Michael… you don’t have to…” 

He shook his head and interrupted her. “Nope. You didn’t let me finish that night and you’ve been weird about it ever since. So now, I’m talkin’ and you’re gonna listen. It’s ok to be annoyed. We should be exclusive. I called her and put that shit on pause until our arrangement is done. We’ve only hooked up once since we started dating and it was early on. But either way, you don’t gotta worry about her callin’ or me seein’ her while I’m with you. I got my hands full with you anyway,” he winked at her. 

Raven tried to limit the smile that wanted to blossom at his words. She was happy to hear she was not “competing” with Tasha as she thought. It was a narrative her own insecurities and anxieties created and fueled, a narrative that now seemed foolish. She still did not know why it mattered so much to her. Or rather, she knew, but she would never admit it out loud. 

“So we’re good?” 

“Y-Yea we’re good. Wasn’t worried,” she lied, trying to make her voice sound aloof and unbothered. She did not know why she bothered, she supposed she did not want her pride to be anymore damaged than it already was. 

Michael merely pursed his lips and chuckled before nodding toward the bed. “So you ready to be my slut again or am I still on pause?” 

Raven smiled. “I’m all yours.” 

“Good. Lay down for me, panties to the side.” 

Raven laid back on the bed, hiking up her dress to her waist so she could part her legs. She pulled her thong to the side, Michael licking his lips as he took in the mess between her thighs. 

“Already so wet for me. You missed me too, huh? This is gonna be fun,” he muttered to himself as he pulled a gold vibrator out of his pocket before sitting on the bed beside her, careful not to ruffle his perfectly-tailored tuxedo. 

He wasted no time sliding the vibrator inside her, Raven moaning lightly at the intrusion, the way his finger brushed against her clit. She wanted more, desperately. Her hips rolled to find his touch, his hand, her body begging for more action. But he denied her. His other hand fiddled with something small that looked like a remote control. 

“Know what this is?” 

“No, sir.” 

“It’s the controller. Tonight, you’re gonna keep that in you and I’m gonna have a little fun with this.” 

Raven let out a shaky breath. “Y-You expect me to keep this in… while we’re at a movie premiere? No way.” 

He nodded, a mischievous grin in his eye. “I recall you wanting to explore some fantasies. You tellin’ me sex in public ain’t one you’ve had?” 

She bit her lip as she contemplated it. The idea was certainly an intriguing one… but the risks?? 

“When would you use that?” 

“Whenever I want. That’s the fun part… for me anyway. And you’re gonna spend the night making sure that sexy ass face when you cum isn’t plastered across TMZ tomorrow.” 

Raven shook her head. “I dunno, Michael. I’m all for risk but this seems insane.” 

He let out an exaggerated sigh, his voice playful and teasing. “I thought you’d be up for it, thought you wanted to have fun but I understand if you’re too scared.” 

She heard the challenge in his voice. He was testing her, trying to see if she was really up for anything. She could not deny that the idea was intriguing. Having her orgasms at his mercy in public? Per usual with him, she knew she could say no. But as she ran over the risks, all she could think of was the thrill of it. She wanted it. She hated that she wanted it and hated that he knew she wanted it. But she did. 

She sat up and swung her legs off the bed. She clenched her muscles to ensure the new addition to her ensemble stayed tucked where it needed to be and she shimmied the delicate fabric of her gown back down to its proper place. 

“Car’s waiting,” she offered with a smirk as she grabbed her purse and walked out of his bedroom, deciding then and there that she would win whatever game he was playing tonight, and would show him that she was indeed up for any and everything. 

Michael watched her ass sway as she exited and smiled. 

“Gonna have a lot of fun with this.” 

***

Raven was so overwhelmed by the screaming fans and reporters and flashing lights that she almost forgot about the “gift” nestled in her core. She kept her smile bright as she and Michael started down the red carpet, his arm tightly wrapped around her waist. 

He looked down at her like the perfect image of a doting boyfriend, with love and protection in his eyes. He played the role so well, Raven almost caught herself falling for the act. But she supposed that was a good thing because it made her glances back at him more genuine. She knew they looked like the picture perfect couple, every gossip site raved about them after every date. She knew tonight would be no different. 

She was so focused on keeping her smile intact and her eyes from blinking too much as they stood on the red carpet that she failed to notice Michael slip his hand into his pocket. Her smile faltered for just a second as she felt the device come alive, sending shock waves directly against her g-spot. It was a steady soft buzz, just enough to make her feel it, causing the heat to rise throughout her body. But it was not enough to overwhelm her.  

Once she got over the initial surprise of the vibration, she was able to recompose herself with ease. She played off the change in her expression by adjusting something on her dress and continued posing with him.

Minutes passed and the vibration continued at its low pace, Raven enjoying the small jolts of pleasure. This was what she was supposed to be worried about? This was a piece of cake.

She leaned in and kissed him softly on the cheek before turning her head from the cameras and whispering in his ear, “This is easier than I thought it’d be.”

Michael let out a deep laugh as if she had told a funny joke and pecked her sweetly on the nose, continuing their slow march down the carpet. 

Raven genuinely felt like she could deal with that all night as she listened to Michael give an interview. She remained tucked at his side with a smile on her face. The interviewer did not really ask her any questions, thank God. So she just smiled and concentrated on keeping her thighs together. 

“So Raven, I have to say, you look gorgeous. Who are you wearing?” 

“Th-” her words were cut short as the vibration pattern changed, this time a long vibration that steady increased before pulsing against her g-spot and starting over again. She coughed awkwardly, pretending as if she had swallowed wrong before saying. “T-thanks. V-versace.” 

Her answer was clipped and short, afraid her words would betray her if she opened her mouth. This was far different, this was ecstasy. Each vibration felt like the slowest, most tantalizing march up a mountain before someone pushed her back toward the bottom to do it all over again. And that pulse at the top? It sent a shockwave through her that made her see stars. Each time, she felt her fingers grip the fabric of Michael’s tuxedo jacket harder. The longer it droned on, the more her legs started to shake. 

“You ok, baby?” he asked sweetly, kissing her on the cheek innocently. 

“Y-Yea, of course.” 

“You two are so cute. Thanks for chatting with me and I can’t wait to see the film.” 

Michael said his goodbyes to the interviewer before guiding Raven away. 

“What’s harder?” he whispered in her ear as they walked inside the venue. He stopped her in the corner of the giant atrium before they walked into the screening room and tucked her against a wall in a corner. Only official photographers were allowed at this point. To anyone passing by, they just looked like a couple having a sweet moment.

“W-what?” She found even such a simple word laborious to get out and it sounded more like a moan than a word. With him mostly covering her body from view, she could not stop the way her hips rolled as the setting changed again. The pattern was the same but the cycle was faster, the intensity overwhelming as he  increased it to the next setting. 

“What’s harder?” he leaned in and whispered in her ear so lowly she almost could not hear her. “Keepin’ that pretty smile on your face when all you wanna do is close your eyes and bite your lip while you cum? Hidin’ your moans so no one here knows you’re a loud filthy slut? Or stoppin’ yourself from beggin’ me to fuck you in the bathroom over there?” 

She felt as if her entire body was in a frenzy. It was not just the vibrator, it was his hands gently pressing her to the wall innocently, it was the courses of people walking by them having no clue that she was on the cusp of the greatest pleasure of her life, it was that she could not stop it or him if he decided he wanted her to cum right then and there in front of everyone. 

“A-all… of it,” she whispered, her face burying itself in the nook of his neck, which helped hide the pleasure swimming in her eyes but only increased it as she took in his scent. His signature cologne had become intoxicating to her. 

“You wanna cum for daddy, baby?” His words were a light whisper that they knew could not be heard over the conversations and music playing throughout the hallway. 

It was taking everything in her not to collapse in front of him, his arm around her waist was the only thing keeping her standing. Her legs were pure jello, every inch of her body was on fire, boiling with pleasure and humiliation at being brought to orgasm at the nicest event she’d ever been to in her life. All she wanted to do was cum but she did not trust herself to hide it. 

“P-Please…” she whispered. She did not know if that please was to stop or to keep going. 

Michael smirked as he felt her hips buck against his again. She was so close, he could see it in her eyes, feel it in the way her hips ground against nothing but air. It was subtle, not obvious to anyone else from the angle they stood at but he could feel it. 

“Beg.” He demanded. 

She clenched her eyes closed. All she wanted was to fall over this particular edge, right then and right now. She was so close, so close, it was almost agonizing to hold it in until he gave her permission. She glanced down as his finger hovered over the button to increase the setting again, knowing that she could not will him to hit that button. She would have to give him exactly what he wanted, what he always wanted. Submission. 

“P-Please… m-make me cum,” she muttered in his ear. “I-I need… it… p-please.” Tears stung in her eyes as she struggled to fight the urge to let go right then and there, hearing her own needy voice in the space. 

“Hm.” he offered quietly. “I don’t think you deserve it.” And with that, the vibration stopped completely. 

Raven could not stop the groan that escaped her lips as he stole her orgasm, her body screaming and protesting at her in pain at the sudden loss of pleasure. 

She let out a soft gasp as she glanced up at him. “You mother-” 

He leaned forward and kissed her deeply, completely silencing her. Raven’s entire body fell into his as they kissed, she could hear the soft snapping of a camera nearby on her right side. 

He offered her the sweetest smile before leaning to her left so the camera could not catch what he was saying.

“If you wanna cum at all tonight, I wouldn’t finish that sentence.” He straightened up and pressed his lips to her forehead, his arm still around her waist. His voice returned to a normal volume as he fixed her hair and ran his hand over the front of her dress. He looked like he was helping her adjust herself but he also wanted to make sure there was no evidence of their crimes. “It’s time for us to go to our seats. You ready?” 

Raven felt like she had whiplash from the last 5 minutes. He was good, far better than she gave him credit for at these games. She thought this was just going to be a fun experiment. But Michael never did anything small. And she was foolish to underestimate him. 24 hours ago, she would have never thought she would enjoy something like this. But now? She could play this game all night long, even though she was losing miserably. 

She peeled herself off the wall, her own hands running against the bodice of her dress. Her legs still felt a bit wobbly so she wrapped her arm in Michael’s to steady herself. She nodded and allowed him to lead her into the theater. 

She barely paid attention to the movie as she spent the entire two hours watching Michael like a hawk. Every time he shifted in his seat or moved one of his hands, she wondered if he was going to turn the vibrator back on. Halfway through the film, she realized it was not because she was dreading it. She wanted him to. She was internally willing him to turn the stupid thing back on, even if it was only at its lowest setting. Because even at the lowest setting, she knew she was sensitive enough to get where she wanted to be. She wanted to feel the tidal wave of pleasure, she wanted to drown in and bask in it and feel the adrenaline of doing so in public. Besides, the dark theater seemed like the perfect time if he truly wanted to push her completely over the edge. When she wasn’t praying to God that he would turn it on, she was wishing it was his fingers or his dick filling her and not a toy. 

She needed him so bad and truth be told, would have begged him to fuck her right then and there if they weren’t surrounded by hundreds of people. 

However, nothing happened. He paid her no attention throughout the entire film except for the hand that rested on her thigh. The minutes ticked on and on and on as the cast went up on stage to say a few words when the film ended. By the time they finally finished and were in the car to the afterparty, she was a horny, disgruntled mess. 

She kept her eyes trained on the window, even though it was tinted, when she felt Michael slide into the seat next to her. Two could play the ignoring game, she decided. 

His hand slid into the slit of her dress, pushing the expensive material to the side so he could have full access. When she did not part her legs for him immediately, he let out a disgruntled growl that was meant to be a command. She pretended she did not hear him and ignored it. 

He merely shook his head and laughed. “Aight, baby girl.” He pushed her knees apart with his hands, it took everything in her not to moan and keep her face stoic. 

His fingers immediately slid into her panties, the heat of her arousal hiting his skin before he even made contact with her body. He caressed soft circles into her clit. She gave him nothing, no moans, no humping into his hand. Nothing. So he upped the ante and turned the device on to the highest setting it had available. 

“Fuck!” She cried out, unable to keep it in as her body was assaulted with pleasure. The vibrator was more than enough to make her cum but adding his thumb against her clit was just simply unfair in her opinion. 

His free hand grasped her chin, firmly but loose enough that it was not painful and forced her eyes on him. Her breathing was heavy as she felt pleasure building fast in her core. Tears pricked her eyes, not from pain, but overwhelming, soul shattering pleasure, “You wanted me to make you cum in that theater, didn't you? In front of all those people like the filthy whore you are? Didn’t you? Upset that I ignored you? But guess what, baby girl?” he switched the setting to a lower one to keep her on the cusp of pleasure without sending her over. 

She let out a soft sob of agony as he held her there, suspended right at the cusp of her orgasm. This was more tortuous than him stopping cold turkey because she was so close she could taste it. And he kept it just out of reach. Every pulse, every caress of his finger was so much and overwhelming but still was not enough. And there was nothing she could do to force him to give her more. 

“Your body is mine, your pleasure is mine. And I decide when to fuck you, when you cum, when you suck my dick… I decide when you’ve been good… when you’ve been bad and what to do about it. It’s all mine. You can ignore me all you want but see how quickly you fell apart? You can’t win against me, baby girl. Daddy always wins. You understand?” 

She nodded rapidly, her body shaking lightly as she teetered on the edge, pleasure was consuming her every cell. She could barely think of anything but the raging inferno in her core.  “I-I understand. P-Please…” her voice broke. She felt as if she would quite literally perish if she did not come soon. He had never kept her on edge this long, a few seconds sure. But time was stretching into minutes. 

“You think you deserve it?” 

She didn’t deserve it, she knew the answer he wanted. “N-No, no… I’ve b-been bad, a bad girl. I d-deserve to be punished b-but I’m begging you… l-let me cum. I c-can’t… P-please,” her voice begged him for mercy. 

Deciding that she would pass out if he continued this game any farther, he pressed the button to return it to its highest setting. Her scream was nearly inaudible as she came on his fingers, her body shook as she gripped the door handle, shuddering through an intense orgasm. 

“That’s it, cum for me,” he whispered in her ear. “That’s a good girl…” 

“Thank you, t-thank you,” she babbled back to him as he talked her through her orgasm. He turned the vibrator off completely, finally giving her a break. 

“Allen, circle the block a few times.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

At the sound of Allen’s voice, Raven’s eyes flew open and shock and humiliation set in. She had just cum… with another person in the car. And she had completely forgotten he was there. Once Michael had started going, the presence of another human being in their vicinity had completely vanished. She glanced up, surprised to find the limo divider up. She didn't even know when that happened. However, she knew that that barrier was not sound proof. However, instead of being utterly turned off by that idea, it just turned her on more. 

“You like knowing Allen heard you?” Michael whispered in her ear. 

“No,” she shot back as she fixed her dress and used the compact mirror she had stored in the limo before the premiere to fix her makeup. Thankfully she still looked pristine, despite feeling physically depleted. She did not know how she and Michael went round after round when one orgasm made her want to cuddle up under the covers and fall asleep. 

“I keep tellin’ you how much I hate lies. But you never listen. Might think because we have a long night and I got an early mornin’ that you’ll escape punishment. But you won’t. Means I have a couple weeks to think of the perfect punishment for such… insubordination.” 

“Don't threaten me with a good time,” she offered with a sweet smile and a wink that made him laugh. 

He did not get a chance to retort when Allen pulled up at the venue of the after party. He gave Raven a once over before getting out of the limo and grasping her hand. He longed to bury himself inside her but he knew he did not have time, at least not enough time to satisfy the urges he had. And while he would toy with public sex, this was not the venue or event to be caught fucking in the bathroom, as much as he wanted to. 

No, he supposed he would just deal with cold showers for two weeks until he could fuck her again, and spank her until she begged for mercy. Her pleas had done something to him, sweet music to his ears. The perfect orchestra. And he would use every free moment of the next few weeks to think of ways to get that sound again. 

***

Michael rubbed his eyes as he scrolled through his email. He knew he would sleep well on the plane. He hated the first thing in the morning flights but he knew they were the only way to keep up with his crazy press schedule. 

“We’ve arrived, Mr. Jordan,” Allen called from the front seat, Michael immediately hopping out. Allen grabbed his sea of bags as he waved at his castmates who were also just arriving to the tarmac. 

“Thanks, man. See you when I get back. Make sure Rae gets home ok today, aight? Then enjoy your time off.” 

“Thank you, sir,” Allen responded as he handed off his bags to the baggage attendants who would ensure they made it onto the plane. 

Michael started to walk away and head to the flight when he heard his name behind him. 

“Mr. Jordan!” Allen called after him, causing Michael to turn around. The older man jogged up to him. “A word of advice? If I am not overstepping my bounds?” 

Michael nodded, allowing the man to continue. Allen rarely spoke, he was the type who liked to do his job quietly and fade into the background.  And he preferred to keep it professional with Michael though there were a few topics they could shoot the shit over while in the car like basketball and the like. But Michael knew that meant Allen likely knew more about him than anyone else on this planet, which meant he would have been a fool not to hear him out. 

“Avoiding love and companionship, even when it is right there waiting for you to take it, will never bring you happiness. And some would say such an ill-guided venture was foolish and selfish, particularly when the world is filled with people like Ms. Turner who love and seek out love with their whole souls and it's denied to them at every turn. And you may be a bit selfish, Mr. Jordan,” Allen admitted. “But I never pegged you as foolish.” 

“What’re you sayin’?” 

“I’m saying that it does not matter how this whole thing between the two of you started. It only matters how you end it. And whether you are brave enough to admit to her and yourself that perhaps you don’t want it to end at all.” Allen patted him on the arm before taking a step back. “There’s no reward for loneliness, Mr. Jordan… no Oscar to win for denying yourself more when you know you want it. The only prize those actions will give you is a lifetime of regret. And I believe you’re living a life too bright to have it dimmed by regrets.” he paused. “I hope I have not overstepped too much. But… well, there was a time a decade or two ago when I would’ve liked someone to overstep and tell me that.” 

Michael stared at him for a few moments before he nodded. After his last very public and embarrassing breakup, he vowed never to fall in love again. Years of women warming his bed before he kicked them out before sunrise. He got what he wanted and gave nothing of himself… to any of them. But Raven… from the moment he watched her staring out that window, he gave without even realizing how much he had given. And now, he felt things for her that he had not felt for a woman in so long. Hell, he wondered if he had ever felt this strongly for another person in his entire life. He wanted more… not a contract or a business dealing. He wanted her. Was he being utterly foolish by pretending that was not the case? 

 “You did… overstep.” His tone was a bit cold but he was unsurprised at how Allen did not backtrack or shrink. He said his piece, called him out and was willing to accept whatever the consequences of that were. “But maybe I need more people to do that. Will you do me a couple favors when you go back to the penthouse to pick up Raven?” 

“Anything, sir.” 

***

Raven groaned as she turned over in Michael’s soft bed. She had fallen asleep in his master bedroom alone, as she always did when they slept here. He always took the guest room. She wondered if she should be more sad that they slept separately but she agreed that that was not intimacy either one of them truly needed. She groped around the bed for her phone, groaning when she realized it was already 11 a.m. Thankfully, she had another two hours before her shift but she knew she needed to hurry up so she could get home and change into her real clothes, not the fancy designer ones she kept there. 

She pulled herself out of bed and stretched, part of her sad that Michael opted to go to sleep instead of fucking her. She understood he had an early day but she could not deny that all she wanted was for him to bend her into a pretzel after that orgasm in the car. But last night was, for the most part, strictly work. They did not get home and go to bed until 3 am and he had to get up shortly thereafter to catch his flight. And now she was left with nothing but a vibrator and fantasies of him to occupy her until he returned. But he had succeeded in giving her something to remember him by. She walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of water, rubbing her eyes as she dragged her feet across the hardwood floors.

Michael gave her free reign of his penthouse, even when he was not there. She did not spend the night there often but she had started to learn her way around, figure out where the sparse things he kept there were. A few dishes, a couple glasses, a fridge filled with coconut water and little food. When she slept there, so did he. But she had never really stopped to wonder where he spent the rest of his time. She guessed he had some giant mansion in the hills like every other star. But she wondered if that one was just as cold as this one, just as void of comfort and love, just as sterile. 

She guessed it was not. Otherwise, he would have her come there. No, that one was the sanctuary for the real him, she imagined it was warm and overflowing with his favorite things. Japanese anime artifacts and art and memorabilia and his awards and family photos and all the things that meant something to him. And this one was merely for his image, sterile and artificial. 

She blinked a couple of times, shocked to find a neat and perfectly packaged gift bag waiting on the counter with a long envelope sitting up against it. 

She sucked her teeth and chuckled, “This nigga. I thought I said no gifts,” she muttered to herself as she grabbed a glass of water and sat at the barstool. Part of her contemplated not opening it. What had he even given her a gift for? Her birthday was weeks ago. But her desire to know what he got her won out. 

She went to the envelope first, her name written in handwriting far too nice to be Michael’s on the front. She flipped it over and smiled as the person had written on the back: Open me last :) 

“On the other side of the damn country and still giving commands.” 

And you’re still following them, she imagined his voice shooting back at her as she placed the thick envelope to the side and reached into the bag. She made quick work of discarding the multi-colored gift bag paper to reveal two books. She pulled the first one out. 

“Whoa,” she muttered as she took in a first edition copy of I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. She turned it over in her hands, mouth agape as she studied it. It was beautiful and she knew it cost a pretty penny.  

Her hand reached into the bag and pulled out a book she knew all too well. Her own. An odd gift, she thought, though she supposed it was sweet that he went looking for it in the first place. She wondered how he found it as she published under a pseudonym but she imagined a man with his resources could find out almost anything he wanted with time. 

She flipped it open as she sat back down on her bed, a smaller envelope the size of a card falling out of it. He had stuck it in on the acknowledgements page, which read: From one dreamer to another. 

She opened Michael’s card and took in his handwriting. 

Thank you for sharing what you did with me on your birthday. I know the day isn’t easy. And apologies that this gift was so late - but I figured this was a loophole in the no gifts rule if you got it weeks later? And it took some time to track down your book. You didn’t make it easy. I’m looking forward to reading it on my flight. I generally agree with everything you say but I would disagree with one thing you said that night. The first time we met, you said Maya Angelou’s book saved you and gave you hope. I’m sure somewhere in this world, a young girl is reading your book and it’s doing the same for her. That’s something good that came out of October 15: the world got you. And that’s worth celebrating in my opinion. 

I hope, one day, you see that too.

Happy Birthday

Michael 

Raven let the tears that streamed down her face fall, one of them splashing against the glossy cover of her book. She wiped it away before rereading his card over and over again. She hated how he seemed to see her, really see her, and everything she truly needed. There he was again, caring more than anyone else, more than he should have, even when she was mad at him.  It just made her want him for every reason she shouldn’t. She should want to fuck him… she should want his money… That was all she signed up to get. A few months of cash and to let him dick her down better than she ever had been before. All her problems and loneliness solved, at least temporarily.

Instead, her heart and soul were slipping deep into dangerous territory, he was dangerous territory. She still tried to force herself to resist it, her body hanging by a rope that was fraying at the middle as if an invisible force was taking an ax to it. And she did not know if she wanted to scramble back onto the ledge or let herself fall.

After a few minutes, she picked up the other envelope and slid the folded up pieces of paper out of it. The first one made her gasp… a flight confirmation for a first class ticket to Paris dated for one week from today. The second page was a short list of the things she should pack.  And the third was her hotel confirmation, a suite at a hotel she could not even pronounce but one quick google search let her know it was one of the nicest and most expensive hotels the city had to offer. 

The last page only contained two sentences in Michael’s handwriting. 

I hope you have a passport. See you in one week.

Raven spread the pages out on the counter, her face paralyzed in shock. 

“What the actual fuck?” She examined all of them, rereading as if the information on them would vanish or change right before her eyes. But the flight confirmation had her name on it, the hotel room… her name. It was all there in black and white. He was inviting her to Paris. 

“I should say no…” she spoke to herself, a false ring of conviction in her voice. “I can’t accept this.” Her internal debate raged as she paced up and down by the kitchen island, her eyes studying the papers with each pass. 

You know you want to, the devil on her shoulder reasoned. And fuck, did she want to. It’s fun… when’s the last time we took a trip or did anything fun? 

She had never wanted to accept anything as badly as she wanted to accept this. She chewed on her lip so hard she was surprised she did not draw blood as she debated and debated. Until her phone buzzed with a text from Mr. Surprises himself.

Michael: damn you sleep late as hell. 

Michael: Am I gonna see you in Paris in a week?

Raven: This was a huge gamble… What if I didn’t have a passport? 🤔

Michael: It was a huge gamble but not because of the passport. Consider it PTO… Come live a little. 

Michael: So did my gamble pay off or nah? 

She read through the papers one more time, deciding then and there that she was 100% going to Paris. Even her pride could not allow her to deny herself this experience. However, she decided to make him sweat a little, though she doubted he actually would. 

Raven: I guess you’ll find out in seven days. Thanks for the gift.  

Raven locked her phone before chuckling to herself. She grabbed her phone and the itinerary page and let out an excited squeal and did a happy dance before she raced off to her closet. She had a trip to pack for. 

Tag list: @readinghere2023 @blackerthings @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @physicxal @purplehairgawdess @miyuhpapayuh @rueruesclues @geemamii @certifiedlesbianbaddie @pipsqueak-98 @nyifly22 @destinio1 @twocentaur @gopaperless @musicisme333@roguekiki @majesticbrownjawn @taurusqueen83 @mysteryuz @miamormilan @itsknor-thedeep @naj-ay444 @mads-grace4 @nayaesworld @kholdkill @msniaimani @nccu-rnc

***

A/N: Wellllllllll… a lot happened! A little angst, a little fluff, a little smut lol just gave y'all the full spectrum of things. And it wouldn't be one of my fics if I didn't give you a character or two to despise along the way lol

Next chapter, we go to Paris, which not gonna lie… that wasn't in the OG outline of this haha but inspiration struck and now I'm very excited lol Drop a comment and let me know all your thoughts lol Thanks for reading!

[spopsalt]

Hi friend, this time no roast C//A tweets but i wanted to talk about something i notice both she-ra and hazbin hotel.

sexual abuse: -.Adora and Angel Dust are suffering almost the same thing, being abused by their abuser only that C*tr* abuse Adora for fun and Valentino abuse Angel Dust for not doing what he says

writting and how people see it: -. This is something i cannot understand, C*tr* abused Adora but people took it as normal but when it's about Valentino abusing Angel then it's serious. " Adora stans " ships C//A ( when i mean Adora fans i mean those who ship he rwith C*tr* ) but we don't see any Angel Dust fan ship him with his abuser boss, my point is that Hazbin Hotel could show what she-ra couldn't and it's how is the abuse and how affects the victim while she-ra made it as joke when it's not a joke it's srs.

POV of the fandoms: we can agree that she-ra fandom is the most toxic and childish fandom that literally pretend that C*tr*'s abuse is romantic and sexual while hazbin fandom knows or realize that Valentino's abuse is horrible and terrorific. Here the point is that in Hazbin people don't go and say " but Valentino is traumatized by - " or " it was love " no! the fandom doesn't deffend his actions or tries to protect him but she-ra fandom does that because ( they hate Adora ) they wan't to believe that it was Shadow Weavers fault ( even, i don't remember Shadow Weaver asking C*tr* to abuse Adora/srs, i don't remember ) when it's not, SW abusing C*tr* is not an excuse for do the same thing to Adora, SW mistreating C*tr* is not an excuse for that her mistreat Adora that way.

which project do it better ?: obviously hazbin hotel. The series shows that and shows how Angel Dust is affected by that and they didn't make that he dates his abuser boss or make Valentino a stupid redeemtion arc, they leave him as villain and that's good because his an irredeemable character and a good villain even his few screentime but his a good villain. Then she-ra all the opposite, shows how to forgive your abuser, date a member of your family ( ew ), forgive a war criminal who doesn't feel bad for their actions. I'm not gonna lie, i liked C*tr* as villain but the redeemtion arc make me hate her a lot because she doesn't deserve it, apart that it was so quikly and so out of character, she's like Valentino an abuser and good villain but bad written character.

I hope you enjoy my analisis in both Hazbin Hotel and She-ra " Abuser/ victim ", i actually decided to not roast she-ra tweets because last time you were angry at me and i don't wan't trouble between anti C//A friends. Well the questions: what do you think about my analysis ? do you agree or not and why ? is there something i'm missing from it ?

I do agree with this for the most part, but it's important to note that they we're different kinds of abuse.

Yes, I think it's due to the writing, with Angel and Val it's shown as the horrible thing it is. But with Catra awwww it's fineeee

exactly, I don't like Hazbin Hotel but the fandom is pretty chill unless they are Visit stans

This one I'm one the fence about. Overall I do like how Hazbin hotel doesn't romanticize Angel's abuse in another show they made called Helluva Boss the main love interest for the main character....is a r*pist and the show tries to say that he is the victim and not the people they were r*ping overall though, I do agree

[flightfoot]

Chat in the movie was sassier and could be annoying but consider…

1. The movie makes a point that Adrien tries to close off his heart to people. He lost his mother at a much younger age than Show Adrien who only lost her less than a year before the series starts. So he’s had more time to become a bit prickly and put up walls. Show Adrien is still desperately trying to hold onto his positivity. But Movie Adrien is more Jaded. He’s an independent catboy who don’t need no watermelon cramping his style. I think that’s why it’s easier for him to yell at his father later on too. Movie Adrien has been dealing with the broken home crap for much longer.

2. Movie Adrichat is a bit more in line with Season 1 Adrichat. He’s more likely to express negativity even if it’s just with a facial expression. Chat Noir in season 1 is more of a sassmaster. He doesn’t go as far as movie chat, but he gets some barbs in and has more bravado. He tells Theo that he’s in charge between the two heroes in Copycat and makes muscles at Marinette in Illustrator. He pushes back against Ladybug more and tells her on more than one occasion that she’s not funny when she sasses him with a joke. When Ladybug calls about his Lourve heist asking what’s going on, he tells her if she’d been there she would know, said he was handling it himself and hung up. He pokes fun at her lucky charms multiple times. He’s salty with Plagg and makes sarcastic little comments about his dad and is generally allowed more teenagery moments that aren’t necessarily the most gentlemanly but sympathetic considering his situation. Like remember when Ladybug exposed Lila’s lie about her and the first thing he says to Ladybug in French is something like “are you insane?!” before he caught himself? 😆

I liked movie Chat because he reminded me more of Season 1 (and maybe 2?) Adrien? As Adrichat progressed in the series he lacked more personality to me. He definitely lacked some of his season 1 attitude. By Season 5, he felt really wooden to me a lot of the time. Like he still has moments of negative emotion, but there was something more dynamic about his character at first. Adrichat in Season 5 is either angry enough to kill over Marinette or sad with his tail between his legs. He used to express himself more as Chat just day to day for all sorts of reasons. He used to have a bit more edge. Doesn’t mean I want him to be an edge lord. He’s always been sweet and self depreciating too but I miss his sassier moments.

All of that to say, Movie Chat reminded me of him and lately he feels a little neutered. Though Season 1 Chat is the main Chat for me, I think I prefer Movie AdriChat to Season 5 AdriChat at this point.

True, Movie!Adrien's dealing with different things. Movie!Gabriel is a way better person and parent than Show!Gabriel, having lost himself in grief but not trying to actually hurt Adrien, merely retreating... but that's also left Adrien without a parent for a lot longer. Based on the pictures we see, I'm betting it's been around five years. He's definitely more withdrawn, he says something about that in the movie, and him wearing earbuds all the time seems to be a way of symbolizing how he's closing himself off from the outside world, like how Neku uses his headphones in TWEWY. I like how you point out that he's making himself into an independent catboy who acts like he doesn't actually need other people, like he's enough on his own - that does help to explain why he's not reaching out to Ladybug as much, why he makes himself out to be a big shot more than in canon. He's been basically alone for a long time now, so he can only really depend on himself.

2. Yeah Movie!Adrien does remind me of S1!Adrien with his expression of negativity and sass. I thought that it worked better in the show than the movie though. In the show it usually seemed to me to be bravado, his imitation of a swashbuckling hero similar to Eugene's "Flynn Rider" impression in Tangled, while in the movie, I thought he came off as a little mean to Ladybug at times, especially since he didn't have as much gentle support going on as we do in the show, whenever Ladybug's struggling.

[womanofwords]

Kitchen Work

"A, why do you insist upon smiling so much?" B groaned, as A hummed while working.

"Why do you insist upon being so incredibly boring?" A asked. "I have to crack jokes just to not go crazy here."

B bristled. "A, this is not how you talk to me. I am your superior and the one in charge here."

A scoffed. "You're only my superior because your dad owns the place."

"A, if you insult me again, you will work in the kitchen!" B yelled.

There was a collective gasp. The kitchen was a disgusting place filled with all kinds of dirt and an unknown purple mould that grew on one specific wall. The food was foul and the signature dish was known as 'red mystery'. But A was undeterred. In fact, she was . . . happy!

"Can I just work there right now?" A asked. "I mean, how bad can kitchen work be?"

"You're about to find out," B said, grinning sadistically. "A month or two in there ought to sort your attitude out."

A walked off, whistling. She looked awfully happy for someone who was going to be stuck in a sanitary nightmare such as that.

(PAUSE)

Hours later, a wonderful smell took over the building. It was coming from the kitchen. A's work was truly divine.

"What is A doing in there?" C asked, swooning from the smell.

"The Lord's work," D explained. The dinner bell rang, and everyone rushed to get it.

A had prepared a smorgasbord of food. The questionable food was out of sight. People cheered and rushed to eat.

"What is going on here?" B asked.

"A made food for us!" C cheered.

"Ah." B prepared the food for them with a critical eye. "Well, I guess I'm hungry enough to risk my chances with whatever you've prepared."

"I had a feeling you'd say that, so I kept something special for you," A said, a smile on their face. "Sit right there, B. I'll wheel it out."

"Special treatment, huh?" B smirked as they took their seat. "This ought to be good."

A scurried away and returned with a cart with a large metal pot on top of it. An empty bowl with a singular spoon was placed in front of B, who rubbed their hands in anticipation. They were expecting incredibleness.

They were not expecting red mystery soup.

"Your very own red mystery soup for you," A said, smiling wickedly. "You remember this, don't you? You touted the benefits of it as we suffered through every spoonful."

"A, is this a prank?" B laughed nervously.

"It builds character, you said. It's full of vegetables, you said! Don't be such a baby, you said!" With every 'you said', another heaping helpful of red mystery soup was ladled into B's bowl.

"Get me good food this instant," B snarled.

"You said this-" A pointed at the soup in front of B "-was good food. Did you lie to us?"

"Not exactly," B stammered, an anxious false smile growing across their face. "I did have to point out the nutritious value of it to encourage you all to - AAAAAAAAH!"

"What?" A asked.

"SOMETHING'S MOVING IN THERE!" B screamed.

"HA! PAY UP, D!" C screamed. Money changed hands and A laughed hysterically.

"I should have known," B groaned, getting up. A was right there with a meat cleaver.

"You can't leave until you've eaten it," A said.

B faceplanted into his soup.

[volivolition]

Ok, ok, rank all the skills from your favorite to least.

You can do this two ways:

* just a big tierlist with all of them (can also include the funky ones [limbic system, ancient reptilian brain and tie])

* or 4 tierlistes with all the types separated

(You can choose what you like more)

Good luck >:]c

OH THIS IS SO FUNNY BECAUSE IVE HAD THIS TIERLIST READY FOR A WEEK NOW HAKJSH <33

it must be said that i love all of them, even the ones on lower tiers. they're all so lovable in their own ways <33

limbic and reptilian brain are both in the blue tier after half light! and the tie would be in a space between yellow and green called "you are funny but im just not a tie kinda guy" hkjhg

EDIT: NOTES ON PLACEMENTS BELOW THE CUT!!

purple heart 💜 means ive got the gist down for their character study chapter in Swept Up (AKA i understand them a little better) and blue heart 💙 means i have a design for them. both of these boost them a bit hkjgh <3

Shivers, my city, my beloved of all time, La Revacholiere... what can't i say about her. she's everything actually. the world who loves you. the world can be saved. you can save her. Shivers!!! I adore you!!!!! 💜💙

EMPATHY!! My chosen signature skill! i have very high empathy and it is hell and empathy also struggles with that and imjgkjh hugs him. hugs him. you can be masc and sensitive and kind and loving, me handshake empathy. I love understanding people, i love you empathy you're so cool and im writing a whole ass fic about you. 💜💙

Volition. of course. if i said everything i loved about him we'd be here a LOOONG time. i love you "boring" skill, i love that you want to keep me alive, i love that you made a holy vow to keep harry alive, i love your poignant quotes and your silly quotes and everything you say ever and i love knights and protectors and imgnkjhf. YOU ARE WHY IT'S BEEN 0 DAYS WITHOUT ME CRYING OVER THE SKILLS!!!! dude you are so dear to me, i wish i could hug you, i am never going to be normal about you, there's a reason i named my blog after you hkjh 💜💙

Electrochemistry!! if he wasn't in besties, he would be in "You are so fucking funny" but i do adore him... im used to being called a "smol innocent uwu bean pure cinnamon roll aroace" YOU KNOW THE TYPE, and writing echem has let me write silly stupid pick up lines and inappropriate jokes that im constantly withholding. you are. so tragic funny, your lines make me laugh and then i'll sit and stare at a wall when i think about you too hard. i KNOW you can heal my guy im kissing you directly on the forehead 💜💙

Perception!!! HONESTLY perception could go into the besties category, i LOVE it, but i think friends suits it better. that's my senses and im very fond of it. guy who tells me what i see!! 💜💙

Esprit De Corps :]!! im very fond of getting to hear what the precinct is up to, and also what kim is thinking! Esprit is very community focused to me. 💜

Inland Empire! ohh my guy you say the darnedest things!! you're so interesting. used to be a skill i knew how to write for but like... i forgot?? somehow?? dude where'd you go come back??? i need to research him and write his character study so i can GET HIM AGAIN!! dude i love the words you say... 💙

Interfacing, THIS GUY!! love this guy. just a little tinkerer, prefers machines over people because he knows how they work. helps us get closer to kim! he's a sweetie... 💜💙

Reaction Speed! GUY JUST GOES FAST, catch what you miss, fast reflex fella!! reaction speed you're so fun, go swoosh for real...

Hand/Eye Coordination!! dude you are funny, i love that he just wants to throw things and catch things and shoot guns. very endeared by him hkjddh 💜💙

COMPOSURE YOU ARE INTEGRAL AND ALSO FUNNY. masking king and i LOVE characters who are really good at being the serious straightman of the group but are actually really silly and hide their emotions well, composure you are a queen and i love you. 💜💙

Drama!! ough. my liege, let's lie for fun. WHY?? WHAT?? YOU'RE SO FUNNY WHAT???? your whimsy is beautiful, ive always wanted to be a theater kid 💜

Savoir Faire!! you're SO COOL LITTLE GUY YOU'RE SO FUNNY AND SUAVE. i think you're so amusing savvy you're dear to me. DEAR TO ME!!!!

Pain Threshold! dude what is wrong with you (affectionate). thank you for helping me through pain, and your over-masochistic tendencies are extremely amusing to me. dude what is WRONG with you (endeared) 💜💙

Physical Instrument, THE COACH HIMSELF!! god dude, you almost went into the Threatening tier but no, no, you're too funny. i think you're so amusing, why do you SAY THINGS like that dude hkjgh. guy who wants us to jog and lift weights and hit things and is fucking hilarious about it?? i headcanon him as keeping most of the gym teacher memories, so he's good with kids... 💜

Suggestion!! dude you have some WILD ASS suggestions and i love you for it hkjhg

Encyclopedia is up here because of skillsposting i WILL NOT LIE, otherwise he'd be with the rest of the intellect skills hkjfh but also ency is so goddamn funny, i love your infodumps dude, i love that you just say random shit? the pop quiz and the contact mike... dude you're just. what!! (affectionate) i love the fucking shit you remember dude. sorry i just added 50 new words to swept up about him hkjhg 💜💙

Visual Calculus, this is my friend who can make cool light projections and i am FOND OF THEM, i think they're neat!!

Conceptualization, artiste extraordinaire, i ENJOY YOU!! i really like my design for xim, but im still working on her characterization. i love artists. i feel like she wants to see the beauty in things... i appreciate xer :] 💜💙

Logic, pretty neutral about this guy actually, but i do love a skill who tries to get everyone on track hskjsh 💜💙?

Rhetoric! im glad you help us talk good dude!! but you are so very argumentative and im bad at confrontation hkjdh i love communism though, you're so right for that 💜?💙?

Horrific Necktie! my guy please don't choke us and also you are a little too wild for me!! your suggestions are not what i want to do hakjhs but you're amusing and i like you.

Authority! dude, dude, i HATE confrontation nooooo hhkjh!!!! please don't make me exercise my position as a cop noOOOO!!! but i do love you though, you're in charge of some VERY important checks and you're very amusing.

HALF LIGHT ACTUALLY, we're switching her higher because i somehow forgot endurance is misogynistic and fascist?? hkgjh DIVERSITY WIN!! half light will kill everyone equally and we love him for this. like, i will not do your suggestions because i would rather not kill people, also you are very threatening and confrontational, but thank you for looking out for me?? i made a design for her and i think shes so interesting. shes very scared all the time and is not having a good time and i understand little one i get it :'] i will wrap you in blankets (you will burn them and thats okay) 💜💙

Endurance, my guy PLEASSEEEE get better ideology, but you're part of health gang squad and also want harry to live and you remind me of an older sibling who feels like he has to be the strong one while everyone else is weak, so you can stand in the way and protect the ones who can't take a blow. you will endure it... smiles sadly at him... 💙

Limbic System and Ancient Reptilian Brain!! i do love you, i promise, but the voice in my head that tells me i should sleep forever and never wake up has spoken to me for a long time and IM NOT LISTENING ANYMORE!!! we gotta live, little guys. there's a life worth living, worth waking up for. i know it's hard, little guys, but there's a future for us, i promise. also, lovely singing both of you!!

ough. in general i love all the skills. they all want what's best for harry but each of their definitions of "what's best for harry" skew wildly from "live a quiet, normal life" to "learn everything and infodump it to everyone" to "do every drug ever and then drink a whole bar's worth of liquor so you can get dopamine" to "go back to being a gym teacher!" to "FUCKING KILL EVERYONE YOU'RE NOT SAFE HERE" to "it's better in the dark isn't it? where you don't have to worry?" and im trying to understand all of their motives. i do love all of them. skills fan forever and ever <3333

OKAY THATS ALL THANKS FOR READING o7!!

[m0tor8aby]

So my friend asked me why I love northern downpour and I ended up ranting and analysing like mad, here's what I told him:

A) I'm a Capricorn and I like deluding myself that that line had to do with me

B) the whole of those two verses but specifically that one have some of my favourite word play in the entirety of music. "The ink is running toward the page, it's chasing off the days

Look back at both feet and that winding knee

I missed your skin when you were east

You clicked your heels and wished for me

Through playful lips made of yarn, that fragile Capricorn

Unraveled words like moths upon old scarves

I know the world's a broken bone

But melt your headaches, call it home" like? It's incredible

C) what the verse means it's just. Like okay, the person with playful lips made of yarn, that fragile Capricorn basically means that like, they speak without thinking. They try to be playful, they want to have fun. They're fragile, yet they want to have fun in the only way they know, with their words and playful jokes. The issue is that they don't recognise when the things they say are no longer funny, when they say things that bring the mood down or hurt his feelings. The "unraveled words like moths upon old scarves". They weigh him down. She says things but he can't tell her how he feels about them, because he doesn't want her to become insecure or be upset - she's fragile. It's the push and pull of him being in love with someone who, while loving him, hurts him unintentionally. The theme of that is pretty strong through the whole album, with the line "I don't love you I'm just passing the time, you could love me if I knew how to lie, but who could love me I'm out of my mind?" It's that feeling of I'll settle, because I love this person more than I can explain, but they make me feel alone, they hurt me, Which is why the chorus is "sugar cane in the easy morning, weathervanes my one and lonely"

It's sweet in the morning when they wake up together. They want to be happy together, they feel like they belong together in that moment. It's easy, it's what love is meant to feel like. Weathervanes are those things that point you in the direction of the wind - it's meant to show you what way to go, but if it's a northern DOWNPOUR , it would be going wild, showing he doesn't know where to go. The usage of "one and lonely", instead of "one and only" shows that he loves this person, his one, he considers them the best thing. But the "lonely" goes to show that he knows it's not working, he knows it's not going to continue and that they won't ever be happy together but he doesn't care, it's the repeated line of sugar canes in the easy morning weathervanes my one and lonely shows that he's having to constantly reassure himself that this is the best plan because he LOVES them, or that he keeps going through the saga of falling for people whom he knows are bad for him.

TLDR/ I love northern downpour

[makethosenarratorsfight]

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE C

*NOTES; Harrowhark propaganda below John Gaius's due to post length! Additionally, tie sweeps require a 0.2% margin and one stated similarity between both characters.

John Gaius Propaganda:

MOTHERFUCKER YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID (kill literally the entire population of Earth, resurrect your friends but rewrite their memories, lie to them for 10,000 years).

lies every other sentence. pretends not to know things just so he can act shocked and appalled to discover them. literally calls himself god. is horrible to all his friends and is surprised when they turn on him because he's been so good to them. the third book of the series is intercut with little sequences where he's explaining how he didn't mean to cause the nuclear explosion that ended the world, honest, even if he was the one who detonated the bomb, and he's so good at making excuses you feel for him and think he's funny even while he's talking about the atrocities he's committed

Harrowhark Propaganda:

She gave herself a lobotomy and gives completely incorrect flashbacks to the previous book. Things that straight up did not happen. Gaslight gatekeep girlboss.

She’s schizophrenic (confirmed by the author) and also lives in a world with necromancy and ghostly revenants. She’s not just an unreliable narrator for readers, she’s an unreliable narrator of her own internal experience. She knows this and has to work with people around her to compensate for it. Descent into spoilerville below. Seriously Do Not Read if you want to read these books. There’s also the little matter about how she is *not actually the narrator* of a huge chunk of the story that we are initially led to believe is being told from her perspective.

(Spoilers) Holy shit she is THE most unreliable narrator. This gremlin gave herself a lobotomy so that she could forget about Gideon Nav, the most important person in her life (for magic soul-preserving reasons) so half of the second book in the series is spent gaslighting the reader about a book they just read. She comes up with an entire alternate version of the events of the first book in the series to carefully exclude any mentions of Gideon, and any time someone says ‘Gideon’ in front of her she LITERALLY has a stroke and/or an intercranial hemorrhage as her brain overwrites the word with someone else’s name. God occasionally intentionally triggers her memory revision to get out of difficult conversations. She also hallucinates ALL the time (unrelated to the lobotomy). She shows up at her frenemy’s room in the middle of the night (think little kid stumbling to their parents’ room and saying “I frew up”) to ask her to come check underneath her bed for the corpse that’s been wandering the space station. When frenemy checks underneath the bed, frenemy claims not to see anything, and Harrow is such an unbelievably unreliable narrator that it’s an open question in the fandom as to whether frenemy genuinely didn’t see the corpse or if frenemy was just yanking Harrow’s chain. Harrow is also haunted by a literal ghost that fucks up her already fucked up alternate history. Girlie will pick up a piece of paper and read from it the most violent and haunting piece of prose ever composed, when in reality all that’s written on the paper is the elementary school Superman S*. I am NOT joking that is a real goddamn scene. Harrow was created to win this poll. TLDR; she has brain damage and memory loss, she hallucinates, and is also haunted. * https://twitter.com/vestenet/status/1301012651145859072

Girl is so unreliable, she unreliably tells me events I was there for!!! She's retelling the previous book and I'm like "girlie, this is absolutely not how it happened". Also, she gave herself a DIY lobotomy, it has to impact your memory center I guess

She literally had a lobotomy, how can she be reliable

Rest of Propaganda under cut!

Harrowhark is simply the unreliable narrator of all time. Can’t remember shit because of a lifetime of trauma? Check. Maybe lying to yourself and those around you a bit? Most definitely. Being gaslit by the survivors you depend on to orient you to reality? For sure. How about a little bit of canon schizophrenia? She’s got it all. Ghosts? Or something? Spirits that are attached in some way to your body and are not perceivable by others? Sure, sure! But how about spirits that are attached in some way to your body and are gonna use you to hijack others’ bodies and maybe kill God, too? Absolutely. Wee bit of DIY brain surgery? If it would make you an unreliable narrator, friends, then Harrowhark Nonagesimus has been there, been subjected to that!

Okay I don't know that much about this series since I haven't convinced myself to read all of the first book, but this is my blorbo in law so I'd feel bad not spreading propaganda (all of what I'm saying is something I've read, as to prevent myself from straight up submitting misinformation). So all of Harrow's unreliable narration takes place in the second book, Harrow the Ninth. Basically, without her even seemingto acknowledge it, Harrow's brain is very fucked up during this book, to the point where even she's not sure how reliable her narrative is. There's many questions left unclear as a result of her fucked up little brain, like what's real, what's fake, whether we can trust her judgement, whether even she can trust her own judgement, whether her original cavalier is dead or not (Harrow is convinced she is), etc. Let me tell you, I adore unreliable narrators who aren't even that sure if they're reliable. I have yet to eat that trope up here in this circumstance, but this poll might not run again by the time I do, so for now, here's my messed up blorbo in law.

OKAY SO REMEMBER MY GIDEON SUBMISSION? HARROW DOESN’T! SPOILERS AHEAD BECAUSE SHE LOBOTOMIZED HERSELF TO FORGET GIDEON BECAUSE THAT’S A HEALTHY WAY TO GRIEVE AND THEN IN THE ONLY PARTS OF HER BOOK THAT SHE NARRATES (THE REVISED CANAAN HOUSE PARTS) IT’S LITERALLY A ROOM FULL OF GHOSTS HER BRAIN SUMMONED TO DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT SHE CUT HER BRAIN IN HALF TO FORGET GIDEON. she also is a) haunted and b) psychotic, experiencing hallucinations her entire life of both the ghosts haunting her and less supernatural hallucinations- bells tolling, bones rattling, her parents (some of the only dead people NOT haunting her), etc! in the revised history of canaan house that her brainghosts invent, she brings along someone who knows about her psychosis to help reality check her when she tells him go! her caregiver as a child and support when she got older, crux, is a horrible man- but at one point, when someone other than harrow is in harrow’s body and tells him “i am not harrowhark, i am sorry,” his response is simply “aye, you’ve said that before too. who are you then, if not my lady harrowhark?” showing his familiarity with her psychosis and his love for the child he wouldn’t dare see as a daughter. but enough about that lets talk about her unreliable narration! she lies about her feelings of course but she also simply hides the truth from everyone, all the time, compulsively. also literally the entire section of her book that she narrates is a lie she’s telling US about a lie she’s telling HERSELF and no one understands even a little bit of the truth until like the last act of the book. queen.

[dualcastimpact]

dawntrail impressions pt. viii

In this installment: a trip into the past and... a cooking contest?

Spoilers below the cut, as always:

Wuk Lamat: "Hah! I've fallen into High Tide Harbor enough times to be a professional diver—there's no way I'd fall into something like this on accident!"

Falling into High Tide Harbor so many times sort of implies you absolutely would fall into a cenote by accident, you know.

———

Alisaie: "Just so you know, I shall be very cross if you push me."

It's rather tempting, I'm not gonna lie. But also good god I wanted to swim in that cenote so badly; this game always has incredible water visuals, it's almost infuriating.

———

Hunmu Rruk: "Thus far, you have faced each other as rivals. The Feat of Repast, however, will test your cooperation. You must complete this challenge in teams of two."

Hunmu Rruk: "Be warned—only the triumphant team will receive keystones. I advise you to cooperate with your partner."

Mmmm yeah that's gonna be difficult for these guys.

———

Alisaie: "Twelve forbid Wuk Lamat is paired with Bakool Ja Ja. After all he's put her through, I wouldn't blame her if she did something rash. I might even help."

This would have been a lovely moment to demonstrate how Wuk Lamat would need to work with a beloathed enemy like Bakool Ja Ja for the greater good, a foreshadowing of what she'd might have to do one day in order to be a good leader...

Wuk Lamat: "Red. Which means..."

Koana: "Together again, as fate would have it."

...but no, it's the siblings who actually get along that get paired up together in a team, with the lone wolf First Promise and the egotistic braggart, neither of whom would know the meaning of teamwork and connecting with others without a gun to their head(s), forming the other. It's a foregone conclusion at this point, surely.

———

Hunmu Rruk: "Each team is to prepare a sample of traditional Xbr'aal cuisine—xibruq pibil."

Xibruq pibil is based on the traditional Yucatec Mayan dish of slow-roasted pork called cochinita pibil, which I do believe a friend got to try on their recent vacation and I gotta tell you, I have never been more jealous. It's really hard to get any kind of South American dishes where I'm from, much less good ones—hell, it's so bad that Taco Bell is considered good around these parts.

———

Wuk Lamat: "So it might seem, but there's bound to be deeper meaning to it."

Koana: "Agreed. Given that the very future of our nation is at stake, all parts of this rite must have significance."

Frankly it's about bloody time you lot realise this about the Feats, considering you've gone through about four of them already and all of them were designed to teach you a lesson about Tural and its peoples. Good lord.

———

Thancred: "Our Promises have grown rather promising, wouldn't you say?"

I like to imagine everyone except for Raginmar is mostly appalled at this most heinous of dad jokes from the only confirmed dad of the Scions present (because puns and other awful wordplays are the few things guaranteed to amuse Raginmar), but also methinks Thancred's a little too optimistic here...

Koana: "But a leader with his vision must see that the past doesn't hold the answers we need. It is through embracing innovation, not adhering to tradition, that we will usher Tuliyollal unto a more prosperous future."

And there it fucking is.

———

Hunmu Rruk: "The first team to prepare and partake of satisfactory xibruq pibil will be deemed victorious. You will be judged by your samples' taste and appearance, as well as your adherence to appropriate cooking techniques."

So it's a cooking contest, got it, let's go.

———

Alisaie: "Did you suppose the First Promise and Bakool Ja Ja will wear matching aprons? I dearly hope so."

Ha!

———

Wuk Lamat: "Heh. Of course we do! Any team I'm on is bound to succeed."

Don't get so cocky, kid, the only reason you've made it so far is because of plot armour.

———

Cheerful Cook: "Oh no, it appears I've gone and dropped my najool—I mean, Ja Tiika banana peel! I could barely see it for all the steam issuing from my underground oven. Ahhh, there's nothing like enjoying a taste banana while you use the leaves in your cooking!"

We're going around the village looking for information on how to cook xibruq pibil and the villagers aren't allowed to directly assist us, but they sure are being obvious and heavy-handed with their tips (laughs) call me simple but them being so obvious and eager to help was really funny to me, it was cute.

———

Alphinaud: "Permit me to assist as well. Our ovens will doubtless require firewood, and I have some experience in its gathering."

Firewood-gathering aside, I'd imagine that's the only thing Alphinaud can contribute to when it comes to cooking. Maybe Raginmar would have taught him some basics over their years travelling together, but certainly nothing that would help in this context.

———

Cheerful Cook: "I was told not to talk about xibruq pibil. The history of our people and the—<cough>—important developments therein are another matter."

The history of our people and important developments therein took us to the ashen wasteland that is the Xobr'it Cinderfield, a remnant of the war between the Xbr'aal and the Mamool Ja. It's here that Wuk Evu, who's somehow made a reappearance, regales Wuk Lamat and Koana with the history of the conflict between the two races and how Gulool Ja Ja put an end to that conflict.

Of course, it wouldn't be a history lesson without an Echo trip down memory lane for Raginmar...

———

Vow of Reason Gulool Ja Ja: "Not until those affairs come to Tural—like our honored visitor here."

One thing that's really rather neat about FFXIV is how it adheres to the geographical distribution of its peoples pretty strictly, even expansions later. You'll never see a Miqo'te, Elezen or highlander Hyurs in the Far East because they're simply not native there, just like how you'll never see an Au Ra, Viera or Hrothgar in Eorzea. In Tural's case, it's clear that this Roegadyn is a visitor from distant lands not just from his outfit, but because out of the playable races, there are only Hhetsarro (Miqo'te), Tonawawta (midlander Hyur), Xbr'aal (Hrothgar) and Shetona (Viera) in Tural.

Of course, if you'd paid any attention to the lore you'd immediately clock him for who he is and know what Gulool Ja Ja meant by honored visitor, but I thought I'd just point that out.

———

Vow of Reason Gulool Ja Ja: "Tell me—do you know of the vast continent that lies far to the east, where numerous nations vie for dominance?"

Oh boy do I.

Vow of Reason Gulool Ja Ja: "That such technology exists is indisputable—as is foreign powers' awareness of Tural."

You know, for all of Emet-Selch's warmongering and conquering bullshit, I'm surprised the Empire never made it to Tural. He must've had contact with the Turali given how long he'd been around; even the Meracydians weren't exempt from the Allagans' conquest and that was very much an Ascian doing. He was the one who told us about "the fabled golden cities of the New World", he must've known about this whole thing!

———

Vow of Reason Gulool Ja Ja: "If any such country were to develop a taste for Turali soil, and bring to bear the might of innovations we can only imagine—what do you suppose happens then?"

War and conquest, brother. But also, intending to unite a disparate nation aside, did Gulool Ja Ja really think hordes of invaders from a country from the far east would be a possibility? Sure, Ketenramm managed to sail all the way to Tural from Limsa Lominsa, but that in itself was such a rare feat that it took over 50 years for someone else to successfully make that trip again and it's still considered such a dangerous and lengthy sea journey that it's not widely accessible to many outside of merchants and (select) scholars.

Which I guess answers my previous question, somewhat—no sane and self-respecting conqueror would look at the sheer manpower and resources needed to travel to Tural and go, yeah that's a worthwhile effort. Ceruleum resources aside—which Garlemald has plenty of—Tural is just not worth the effort conquering.

———

Vow of Reason Gulool Ja Ja: "You do not know the warlords of the east. But you know that if they come, they would not settle for a single forest."

Vow of Reason Gulool Ja Ja: "By joining hands, we might create a unified front—an alliance capable of repelling them as any other foe."

I mean, if the Empire was really serious about conquering them I don't think the entirety of Tural combined would have stood a chance, but okay.

———

Vow of Resolve Gulool Ja Ja: "Give us an evening to convince you."

And thus by the power of good food were the two warring peoples united! Incredible! Amazing! If only we could end every war like this!

...okay that sarcasm was a little unwarranted but come on!

———

I'm always happy for any reason for Raginmar to look unfairly hot and menacing when he senses a threat but honestly, with his sensitivity to aetheric signatures there's no way he only just clocked the people following them. I'm just going to chalk this up to his usual habit of noticing things and then never telling anyone about them, because I think it's so ingrained in him he'd probably die never growing out of that habit.

[g-on-ef]

Helluva Boss season 2 ep 3 review THERE WILL BE SPOILERS

It's been a while a long while since I've done one of these but this is the first episode since episode 5 that hasn't pissed me off in the first five minutes and was able to somewhat enjoy it but omg I said it once and I'll say it again viv does not have one single clue what she's doing wit her characters but we are getting ahead of ourselves so let's start wit the good before we get to the bad.

Genuinely love that this was a Moxxie center episode cause it's about damn time my boy got the attention he deserves and it's not him getting punched every three seconds -_-

I personally love Chazz design I thought he was fun and enjoyable {at first} and I loved that he and Moxxie had a relationship together not gonna lie I was screaming I ship them especially the flashback ^^

Ummmm ...

IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE MY BABY STRIKER ??? !!! YALL IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE MY. BABY. STRIKER ??? !!!

Regardless I'll take whatever crumbs I can get ^^

Baby Moxxie was adorable !!!!

The relationship between him and his mother was adorable I feel like she was the reason for his love for musical I loved her ^^

I also love we got Moxxie saying he's bi it's always refreshing to see characters refer themselves as part of the lgbtq community

No Loona speaking omg I'm so happy we didn't have Loona talking at all because honestly she would've made the episode worse

Now onto the bad parts -_-

Maybe is because English isn't my first language but didn't Moxxie said he was born in Wrath ??? So did he move to Greed ??? If so was it when he was a baby or ??? I'm just confused on that part.

No one not Viv not her crew hell at this point not even SOME people of the Fandom know what to do/think of Millie.

The whole episode she was either a rabid animal or resorted to Moxxies wife/the blood thirsty woman of the show like how is she a main character always getting side line for everyone fuck man even Loona gets better treatment than her and that sucks cause Loona is down right awful

The fat jokes weren't funny the first time and guessed what they aren't funny the 18th time !!!

I get homophobic implications cause its hell 🤪 {every time I say that imma add that face} but umm the dildo jokes ??? Like I genuinely didn't get why that needed to be added but it is what is I guess.

So you mean to tell me both Moxxie and Millie slept wit Chazz but this episode didn't bother focusing on Millie on how they met Like da freak ??? Also while I loved Chazz the first few minutes I got annoyed wit him like really Viv you're gonna make the bisexual character a horny person that fucks everything wit two legs and have his whole personality around sex ??? Also was I the only one disgusted wit Blitz sleeping wit Chazz ??? Like how the freak we got there ??? !!!

Gotta be honest did not like that Moxxies VA also voiced Crimson I was expecting something more intimidating like something like Striker I guess but that's just me

Also back to the dildo joke ummm someone tell me why we were having a moment that should have build an intimidating moment only to ruin it wit the dildos ... ... ... like I said before Vive has no idea how to handle serious topics without turning it into a joke and have the entire scene lose its importance and value.

Like the build up the dinner scene it was leading up to a serious conflict that was creating tension and hell even the slap had me shocked and Crimson bringing fear into the audience only for it to come tumbling down with the dildos hell even after the threat Crimson gave as Moxxie was leaving I couldn't take seriously because the scene kept showing them.

Hell even wit Moxxie being upset and hurt I couldn't take serious cause of the whiplash that came right after

Can someone please explain why is there a priest in hell ??? Or better yet why is there a jail in hell ??? Like why are we even having Charlie's hotel idea if there's jail and rehab in hell like ??? Does Viv even understand the world she's created ??? Like does she even remember the world she's created ??? Cause why create a hotel that's supposed to help sinners when Hell has REHAB AND A JAILING SYSTEM ??? !!!

ALSO SOMEONE ANYONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME THE HIERARCHY OF HELL !!!

Are imps at the bottom ??? The shark demons ??? Like does anyone at Spindle even remember their own rules for the show ??? !!!

Anyways that's it for my complaint of the day but anywhore those are my thoughts and I'm sticking to them !!!

[myinconnelly1]

Nameless Need Part 6 - Wedding

Masterlist

W/c: 1005

Summary: Selena 'Lena' Allen convinces her neighbor, Adam, to pretend to be her boyfriend so that a Stalker will leave her alone. Things get a little out of hand after that.

Warnings: Slow burn, back seat pre smut, cuteness

“You don’t snore or like flail around in your sleep, or anything right?”  Adam asked.  His bags were packed, and he was hanging out helping Lena get her last-minute things done.

“How should I know?”  She shrugged.  Lena was feeling like getting a single bed for the two of them at the wedding might have been a problem.  Adam was asking a lot of questions, and while most of them seemed to be jokes, her mind was playing tricks on her.

“Old boyfriend mentioned it or something,” he teased.  “I’m sure it will be fine it’s just two nights.”

“Right,”  Lena said zipping up her bag.  “My aunt should be here soon.  Wanna help me get the stuff by the door?”  Before he could agree or they could move, a knock sounded at the door.  “Hey Auntie,”  Lena said as she opened the door.

“Oh Selena, the traffic on the way here was terrible, I was sure that I was going to be late.”  Lena’s aunt was a nice sounding woman who didn’t seem to have adopted the New York way of talking.  “And this must be Adam, Lenie, you never told me how handsome he was,”

“Lenie?” Adam asked grinning so big he could have been a cartoon character.

“Sorry, Auntie, I guess it just didn’t occur to me.  Sometimes he is just too much of a dumbass,”  Lena wrinkled her nose at Adam, in the way that always made his stomach flip.

“Selena, we talked about this, just because you work at a hospital doesn’t mean you get to use that kind of language near me.”

“Sorry, auntie.  But thank you for letting us use your car for the weekend.  I wasn’t sure how we would get to the wedding with such short notice.”  Lena had grabbed her bag and was giving Adam the look that told him to get his stuff before something stopped them.

“Of course, Lenie, I love the idea of staying at your modern apartment!  Now listen, I took the car in and had some work done on it, because the check engine light came on.  The people at the shop told me it was all set, but if you see the light come back on don’t worry.”  Lena’s aunt gave her a little kiss on the cheek before handing over the keys for her sedan.

Lena and Adam were about halfway to the hotel they were staying at for the wedding when steam started coming out of the engine and the car sputtered to a stop.

“You’ve got to be kidding,”  Lena said as she turned the car off and looked under the hood.

“Lena, get back in the car, we’ll call an Uber or something,”  Adam said from the passenger seat.  It was pouring rain and there was no way that Lena could see anything in the pathetic light caused by her own headlights.  “Lena?”  He asked quietly as got out of the car.  She was standing under the hood crying.

“I’m sorry, I’m just stressed.  I hate lying to my friends, and Charlie is… well he’s just Charlie I guess.”

“Listen if your friends can’t accept you as you are, and don’t understand you pretending to have a boyfriend for creepy ass stalker to leave you alone, then they aren’t very good friends.  As for Charlie… I might not be able to talk about him.  I just want to see the look on his face when I parade you around that wedding.”  Adam finished in a huff.  He reached out and wiped the tears from Lena’s cheeks.

“Adam,”  Lena sighed when Adam touched her.  He had spent more time than he would admit in polite company jerking off to the way she had said his name in the hallway.  “What if we didn’t lie?”

Adam’s whole body froze.

“You want me to be your boyfriend?”  His voice was deeper than normal when he asked the question and Lena looked up at him trying to gage his reaction.

“It was a stupid idea, I’m sorry,”  Lena had started but Adam cut her off with a kiss as they stood soaking wet in the rain.

“Stop saying your sorry,”  Adam growled against her lips as he lifted her from the ground and carried her to the back seat of her aunt’s car.

It was a tight fit for them, and Lena figured that any car would be too small for Adam as he was gigantic.

“Fuck, your soaked,” Adam growled as his hands pawed at Lena.  Her clothes, and his for that matter, were dripping from standing out in the rain.  And while Adam’s skin radiated heat, Lena had started to shiver.  “Do you have dry clothes in your bag?”

“Yes,”  She gasped as he continued to kiss her and make no motion to get her bag.  “Adam-“ She cut off with a whimper as he rutted against her covered core.

“Say my name,”  He grunted against her mouth.  His hands were feeling her up everywhere he had been wanting to touch her for so long now.  His phone buzzed in the front seat, but he ignored it.

“Adam, please,”  Lena started to ask him to wait, but the way he ground himself against her made her shake down to her toes.

“Fuck I want you,”  Adam growled near her throat.  She hummed at his words and might have lulled into the moment, except a horn honked outside.  Adam pulled away from her as she jumped. 

Adam’s phone had a message from the Uber driver that they were ready to pick them up.  Lena fixed her hair a bit, as Adam turned to caress her cheek.

“I still want you,”  He said more softly this time.  Lena didn’t look up at him, but her cheeks were flushed pink, and from the cadence of her breath he suspected she wanted him too.

“Let’s get our stuff.”  She sighed finally.  Adam could tell from her tone she was holding something back from him, and he was starting to get confused.

[gretasworld]

Greta is straight. The proof is in the series itself. Let's debunk then. Let's prove it.

People talk about this character Greta being a polyamorous and bisexual. The lgbt wiki which is run by sjws and no authentic source also show Greta as bi. 🤣 I strongly disagree. 🚫 Let's show Why and how she is NOT bi - she says this line like a joke to make Alucard cheer up - " I mean I had a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time but they never tried to kill me. " Then after, immediately she says the rest of the sentence and reveals the truth " ACTUALLY, NO ! I TELL YOU A LIE. HIS WIFE WENT AFTER ME WITH A PITCHFORK ! " and Alucard immediately breaks into laughter. Then Greta says this " I KNEW YOU WOULD BE STRANGE. " This confirms that she is NOT queer or a sexual deviant or poly or messed up in the head. She finds these " things " WEIRD clearly according to her own words. Her dialogues are your PROOF and she is sensible enough for all that shit. I have seen lgbts cherry pick the " boyfriend and girlfriend " part to make Greta a member of their community but always omit the rest of the lines. Even the pro lgbt websites that speak of fictional characters' sexuality claim this just to add more to their team. 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

" Actually I tell a lie ..... " Why do the abc rainbow freaks always cut out the later lines when making her bi in their websites? It's because she is not and they somehow have to make her.

Even the website Lgbt wikia which is run by lgbt people has speculated this character to be an A.B,C like them. Well. If you understand paid propaganda and how websites run with certain purposes,then you will realise and agree that the fandom website is infact trash and contradicts source materials.

Now speaking of poly relationships, partners in poly relation are in harmony with one another with full consent of each other and they dont try to beat each other or attack each other in order to get rid of them out of jealousy or whatever. If poly was Greta's case she would not have to run away from the man. She would never have to be chased of by the wife with pitchfork. So yea, she never really had two people of different genders at the same time and her full dialogue confirms it.👍

TRUTH # What Greta says in this scenario is ACTUALLY this - She was in a deceitful love relationship with a man who was married but she didnot know she was being tricked into being his sidechick and when his wife found out about the affair, Greta was chased off by the wife for obvious reasons to protect her marriage OR Greta was helplessly in love with a manipulative man despite knowing he is married and couldnot help herself and the affair ended after the wife of the man found out that Greta was a sidechick. In either case,its a shame and insult to Greta to have been in this situation and had to ultimately drop her feelings for the married man. There was never a girlfriend or a boyfriend thing going on together ! We see this sort of scenario in real life quite often. No self respecting person wants to share their partners with someone else so Greta naturally had to move away after being caught because man's wife would not tolerate her.

Her dialogues also point to another thing. Relationships and marriages are the most exclusive bonds. There are reasons why monogamous marriage is defined in all religions as SACRED and most functional. The reasons its this way is rooted in holding strong the family structure, morals, commitment,responsibility,to avoid disruption, to keep peace and healthy atmosphere for couple and children both, to keep devotion and loyalty to your home and not hurt your spouse.

Relationships are the very core unit of every society on which the society stands. Family is where human beings are born, grow up,learn their values and they all need an undisturbed stable father figure and a mother figure who love each other and donot cheat or fuck around. Fathers bless children in one way and mothers are well,mothers. This is how it has been. This is how it intends to remain. Because monogamy works. Pushing for throuples,justify cheating or open relationships,same sex and poly relations destroys organic family structure and children living in it most. People living in the west especially with multiple partners are DEGENERATES and raising some very unfortunate children who again learn from their deviant adults. They should be punished by law. It should be criminalized. They are severly penalised outside US for these acts.

These unfortunate children raised by them are being deprived of their rights to learn the organic morals necessary for them in their own lives. These unfortunate children grow up with the warped views of their no good worthless parents who screw them.

And as for Netflix, it just bastardized every character in Castlevania to fill up the woke check boxes to be politically correct. Greta's shit dialogue has NOTHING to do with the character or her real sexual identity. Netflix does the same thing to other shows as well to fill diversity inclusivity quota and destroys the magic of literature/source material in the process. Take a look around you and you will see Netflix does it in every show of it.

Honestly, if they showed Alucard and Greta having sex and more romantic moments of them from season 3, we would all be happier and the show would be more successful. Sad they didnot even include a picture of Greta in any of their posters.

Lastly, NO I am not a bigot. I simply debunked a confusion and stated the truth of what happened. OF WHAT IS HAPPENING. If you want to check it again and match my words, re watch Season 4 properly. Oh, and yes, our Alucard is also canonically in the games and manga, a cis white straight man AND SO WAS THE REAL SON OF THE REAL DRACULA IN HISTORY. Such a beloved character got ruined the most by the makers in Netflix because now it is fashionable to hate straight white men and women and destroy straight canon characters like him.

Check the screenshot below. 👇👇

[calypso-finale]

Sixty Nine.

The New York trip ended up being a little longer because it is Tianna birthday so we thought we would stay behind and do a little something for her even though I am wanting to go back, Robyn just threw herself into work because I didn’t want to entertain her ass so what I did was go to the studio and made more hits and maybe release an album, I mean I could do it now. I have enough songs to do several albums, but I need to be relaxed. I am giving a few songs away actually, making some money from that but things have been ok for me but I refuse to see her ideology and I don’t agree to it but she won’t back down, and neither will I so we both at a standstill, I mean the thing is we will always argue about the kids. She is a psycho parent, and I am not “you took time bro” I answered the call “I know shit, I am in Chicago by the way. I was supposed to text you, but shit happens, my moms and shit but you good? I been reading your messages howling bro” Herb said “just everything about this is stupid, I can’t even lie. I have told you everything about her, you know who I am speaking on isn’t she her?” I ain’t saying it a loud because Robyn will be around “one hundred percent, I told you about it though. I said Robyn is good people, but she switches fast and it’s scary, I be scared” I chuckled “you understand me” looking up at her “Rylee Fenty-Brown and rapper boyfriend Central Cee have bought an upmarket Hamstead home in North London costing fourteen point five million? What happened to nine? Are you joking me!? And I bet she paid for this, she bought a home Chris, you said nine and this ain’t fucking nine” here we go “I will call you back” disconnecting the call “she’s building home, what do you want me to say? I bet that home is nice as shit” she is not happy “you ain’t seeing the bigger picture, you call me deluded but her doing this is crazy with a fucking rapper at that, oh my god! Chris, this is crazy. Fourteen million!” she barked “then go and fight her, what you want me to say?” she is livid “whatever, you tell her and say to her she is stupid! And Taylan has invited us to the house, ok. So we going” she walked off, see I am not pathetic like her. He invited us, I will go and be normal because that is my daughter.

That is a lot of money I can’t lie, I didn’t like the thought of nine but fourteen is a lot, but I won’t say that to her, she is psycho right now. Closing the door behind me to the balcony, pressing my phone to my ear “hi dad” she is always so vibrant and happy “hey baby, how is my bougie daughter?” she chuckled “living life dad, I am ok. How about yourself? Let me guess you seen the blogs” she knows “uhm yeah, and you know there is a certain person that is heaving” sitting down on the chair, it’s cold as shit out here, but I have a coat on and I can smoke anyways “it’s five bedrooms, it’s safe for me and my family. I saw it and I thought to myself this is perfect. It makes me want to do things, like this shit of not working and being like shit is over, I am all for it. I am doing my citizenship, I am going to learn to drive here, well I can drive but I am scared but Oakley will help me. I am going to do what I want, and I am going back to Fendi, they want me back. Aziel is building up a pretty little bank for his work but he is going nursery so that is happening, Oakley is releasing his album. Things are ok for us, I am ok, he is ok. This is a new leaf for me, and I am happy” I sighed out “Rylee don’t change your citizenship, please don’t do that shit. You can still be there and not be British” I pleaded with her “my home is here dad, I didn’t buy this home for nothing” what can I say really “I will always come home, see you all of course” I clenched my jaw “mom is rude so yeah, I am not speaking to her. She picked on Oakley’ looks and career, and life, she said he looks like he got cancer. The thing is I realised, I was hurting, she was hurting me because that is my man so until she can apologise she can stay away from me” what even can I say “well it sounds like a wake up call happened with you, and the house seems to have gave you that, maybe it’s because it’s a home you want and you want to build on that, but really think of the citizenship thing, you can be there and still not do it” I know she wants too but she needs to think on it, you never know she could want to come back here.

We are on our way to Ti’ place and it’s going to be something I am going to be quiet with, I rather not bark because it’s her day and unlike Robyn I want it to be nice for her “I didn’t know what to get Ti so I got her some new sneakers, well a few pairs, she asked for that. This is why there is many boxes” Imani said, she broke the silence, she knows there is something off with us “that is nice, did you ask her?” she nodded her head “I did, I said what would you like, and she said new sneakers, so I went out and got some for her, what did you get?” I laughed “a card, I got her some jewellery. I am sure your mother got her a contract for Fenty again” I can’t help myself “fuck off Chris” I grinned “I am sure you spoke to her, the demon child” looking over at Robyn “you mean your best child that disappointed you so now you’re saying that, I did actually. And she is happy with what she did, she doesn’t care for what you say and I think it’s very nasty to say someone got cancer, you can’t claim to love your grandchild when acting unhinged but this is why I know this is Monica talking, this is why I don’t want that woman in my house, speak back to me I will bark so drop it” I pointed, Robyn glared at me “ok” looking back at Imani “oh I know you both was beefing” I shrugged “well when you have a busy body mother, this is what you get. Same one to try and ruin that little bond you had with Oakley, yeah I get that. But the same guy that ruined Emi party is the best” Imani cringed “don’t let it affect you both, I hate when you argue” she said “we will get over it, angry sex is the best, I am living life” I shrugged, Imani groaned out “disgusting” I chuckled.

Nice little apartment this is “mom and dad!” Ti spat “you look amazing Tianna, Happy Birthday baby” I said as Robyn hugged her “I am so happy, I said that I don’t want to go out, I don’t want this and that, so he said ok something small and this!” hugging her “see, I know we are your fave people huh” squeezing her close “yeah of course, I just didn’t feel like going out but I am so happy you came dad, you don’t understand” she said in my ear “do right by you, you know that. Also” moving back “gift for you, and a handwritten card” she cooed out “thank you, means a lot and I love you both” smiling at her “Imani, you spent up on me. I feel honoured” I grinned “even I had to hold some of the stuff, she is crazy” Taylan is here, I am going to be good, but the way Robyn is acting like this guy is her son in law is just nasty behaviour on her end “Chris” shaking his hand “hey” I said, there isn’t anything else to say “Imani, hey!” he waved at her “we meet again” Imani said “we do, come in. This is the apartment, I put Lola away too” Ti side eyed “that dog is my hell” she mumbled “I can tell” walking into the apartment “so I did all this myself, all my idea, what you think?” he asked “you have an eye for detail, I like it” he opened the door “my closet” he laughed “yes he is worse then a woman, a whole closet for him” Ti added “my Tianna is very giving because if that was me I wouldn’t let you” Robyn said “she is, she is very understanding and I love that about her, I liked her from start” he said, nodding my head slowly “so you did it all, the decorating?” I asked “yeah, she took a backseat, and she loved it, it was like a surprise for her” licking my lips “cool” if that is what she likes, to take a backseat then why not, he is done the apartment up for her which I can’t fault, as long as she is happy I can’t be mad with it really.

I swallowed hard just staying silent, this guy loves himself. Just seeing the pictures of him, more him and then a picture of Ti and him, and a picture of Ti and us, how sweet “I think I got the best gift though” looking over at her “from Rylee” Taylan pulled a face “I thought I gave the best gift” he said laughing “well yeah but I woke up and she sent me a video of Aziel, like the first thing I see is that. He was the first person, let me find it” she got her phone out “it’s so cute, I appreciate that. I didn’t expect she would have really, I thought she may have just text me a thing; then she FaceTimed me with him, she sent me some shoes too, so it was nice here” she passed the phone to Robyn, looking over at the phone “Aziel, who birthday is it today? Who keeps telling you her birthday?” He has just woke up “TT” he said with a smile “yeah, and it’s today. So tell TT happy birthday and you love her” he shook his head “let’s break it down, happy? Say it!?” She said “no” Aziel is too funny “you’re annoying, give kiss and love you at least, blow kiss” he blew a kiss “wuv you” I cooed out “TT!” He spat and the video stopped “I been telling him about it and look what he gives me” Tianna laughed “but he made up for it on the FaceTime, he said he wanted to hug me and give me kiss but I really liked that” smiling at her, I am happy with Rylee that she did that. I miss my little guy a lot “he’s cheeky, he told me that I need to buy him sweets but yeah, that was my highlight” I have a feeling Rylee isn’t coming home for Christmas, I just know it and it’s Robyn’ fault “he is growing up so quick for us, I think when you don’t see them as much they do grow differently” who is Taylan talking about “are you coming home for Christmas?” I asked Tianna “well, I think I’m going to go to Taylan’ this time, he wants that and for me to meet his family” nodding my head “that’s fine, visit us though” I said “I will after but I wanted to bring that up, but I want to go there, and he wants that too” smiling at him “and that is totally fine, I want the best for you kids and yeah. Just you will be missed, Imani will” Imani pulled a face “she is cheeky too, she made me pay for the meal she invited me too” I laughed out “that’s my girl” I chuckled; that is so funny “well she offered, and I said yes and then she said you’re supposed to say no, I am your little sister so yeah” Ti eyeballed her “you’re not little anymore thank you” Imani still thinks she is the little sister but forgets Emi.

I pointed at the plate “this Ti’ cooking, that Mac and Cheese is just like her mother’s” Ti grinned “you pay attention” nodding my head “of course I do baby, let me help you ain’t the plates” getting up “I got this, it’s ok” I said to Taylan “you don’t have too dad” I shook my head “let me” making my way over to their kitchen area, I also want to go for a smoke so this gives me a chance to do that “how you anyways?” I asked Ti “I am ok, you asked me that already earlier” I shrugged placing the plates down “well you never know” leaning against the side “how are things with you and him after everything? Nice little place this is” I complimented “thank you dad, appreciate it. It’s big enough to not speak to him really, just I am still mad what he did with Rylee and he knows it, we only really spoke today weird enough and we are acting like we spoke all this time but I am so mad with what he did, I don’t want you to think I forgive him just like that when I didn’t, but he gave me a gift and a card, I said that today we will you know get along but we haven’t really spoken, I appreciate he invited you all because he didn’t mention it to me until this morning which I am happy about” nodding my head “well in life relationships will be up and down, all I can say no matter if I don’t like him, Imani doesn’t or whoever. If he treats you right, that’s all that matters to me. I will eventually get used to it; I will try for you because he makes you happy. I don’t want to pressure you kids into doing and being something you aren’t, like I get you both aren’t speaking but if it can be fixed they try it but hand on heart always keep something for yourself, I said the same to Rylee. You don’t know someone, they can change but you just got to find that balance, everyone is different. Just got to get used to it” Ti smiled at me “old age really kicking your ass” I busted out laughing “I am missing being up to no good, but my kids are older now, my sons look at me, they pick up on if I speak to mom in a way, I can’t be that. Boys need to be raised differently” Taylan made his way over “going for a smoke” I said moving off, things got a little awkward there “come” I added as I walked off.

Taylan doesn’t smoke and he’s just stood staring at me, and I find it funny “you good?” I asked “yeah” he said “I wanted to ask really, what did you gain out of doing all that? I would respect you more if you did it in house, if you did it more private or express your concern to me but you didn’t and that shows me that your intentions weren’t good, to me it shows you wanted to cause some drama. I also peeped your disdain towards my daughter Rylee, I want to bring this up because it’s bugging me, I rather speak on it then keep it in so tell me what gave you the right to tell my kids what is wrong or right when I am the person you come too?” Placing the cigarette between my lips “thinking back on it I do regret it, at that moment like thinking back, Oakley and I were just talking and then it got a little heated because I did speak out of line and I did say Rylee treats Ti like shit basically, and he said it’s their issue, leave it to them and I may have got irate and said be a man, you’re grown enough. I regret it all, I do. And I wish I could take it back, my intention wasn’t that, but it happened and it will stick with me forever. I just hear Ti speaking on how much Rylee got spoilt and then she didn’t actually tell me what happened” he laughed “I look stupid, and I wish she did speak to me and told me the whole thing, it was like a half ended thing and she made out he was preying on her and really it wasn’t that, I feel bad because it did cause that mess. Rylee she does at times have a bad attitude” nodding my head “Rylee and her attitude isn’t your issue, if she is giving you shit, you say it to her sister. You shouldn’t poke your head in with that, you really fucked up with that. Mind your shit, the only person I want you to ever speak on is Ti, nobody else. I can’t lie but I am watching you” Taylan put his head down “can I ask? Without offending you?” He said, “go on?” I am laughed a little “how did you feel when Cench or Oakley or whatever did that?” Throwing my cigarette to the ground “I beat him up every time I saw him, he couldn’t catch a break, and I would do the same to you” smiling at him as I made my way back inside.

Grabbing the cans of Red Bull from the fridge “oh we can tell he is back here” shutting the door “how so?” I laughed “the ski mask and when we walked in the row of boxes of shoes” I pulled a face “yeah don’t get me started, it was worse then this. His clothing line he is doing some drop today in south west or whatever, that is where Aziel has gone but he took all those boxes, it was covered, my room” shaking my head, passing the drinks to Lillian and Halle “thank you bitch, it’s been a while. You have been too busy for us because of this” nodding my head “yeah, we have been busy just thinking of us and I have been thinking of what is next, but I have a plan and I wanted to tell you girls before the blogs, but they got their before me, but Oakley and I have a new home. We are moving to North” Lillian gasped “bitch” I chuckled “where about?” Halle asked “Hampstead I think, yeah it’s there” I am sure it is “oh that is classy, I am happy for you. Get him out of here and go about time. How did he feel to be going to North? Not like him” I shrugged “seems like a him problem but we have put the money down, just need to actually move and also I am back with Fendi, I wanted to be with them in regards to the fashion media, based off my degree they said no, model. That is it, so yeah” I laughed “I am back with them, they wanted Aziel too but I said Dior have him. But they want to do a spread on me because I was modelling for them as a child, they were being so sentimental with it too” Lillian cooed out “you’re gathering your life after so long, I mean we all go through that shit, so this is good, oh you deserve. You deserve some good” they going to make me emotional “thank you, and you all have been there for me, so when I do move in. I want you to always to be coming, just because. You have been sisters I needed really” Halle giggled “we love you too much, Diji was saying that Rylee is quiet, why? I said I bet she is moving his ass back, after that concert and that interview thing, I said I know she is, and look at that” they know me too well “well least you know me, my mother is having a meltdown about it all. She called him so many nasty names, then she said he looks like he got cancer” Lillian and Halle both gasped “shut up, she did” nodding my head “I didn’t tell him because that’s so upsetting to hear, shit went sideways at the party and now my mom doesn’t want me with him. To me I don’t see what others see” Lillian is still shocked “but that’s Aziel father? Wow! Auntie is crazy for saying that, sorry I can tell how upset you are” I just shrugged, what else can I say “he isn’t everyone’s taste and he’s not what she expected me to be with and I get that but to say that he looks like he got cancer, that hurt me to the core and then my sister wanting him dead? Like will they be happy once he is? Because I won’t be, it will be me that will be hurting but they don’t get that part” Lillian jumped up and ran over to me “I don’t want it to be a downer day so ignore” I laughed hugging her.

I don’t think I will ever catch up with the real housewives, I always miss it because of Aziel wanting his show or Oakley is there just saying everything shit, it’s annoying “you are so behind, damn” rolling my eyes “they don’t let me watch it, how is Diji? I heard he was unwell, I read that. That is why I messaged back” looking at Lillian “he had a scare, don’t mention it to him. So he found a lump where his manhood was he panicked, he wasn’t unwell, I said that because he was looking but he found a lump which wasn’t anything serious, I got scared bad but he is fine, but I said unwell because he said let’s keep it to us but I can’t help myself but what got me mad he blocked me off when I wanted to be there for him, he was like oh you’re being dramatic, leave me alone and all this shit” rolling my eyes “men love to close off when they go through some shit, like they don’t want us around” I said “I wanted to tell him to fuck off but he was going through it but we are ok! Thank the gods” I smiled “I am glad, you both deserve to have a baby and peace” Lillian gasped “we have Aziel” I busted out laughing “stop it, you can’t do that, he needs siblings mama” Halle turned her phone “why is this boy a gang member” squinting my eyes “not my son, look at him in his Trapstar, I told him to not take him because it’s going to be a long day, it hasn’t even started yet either” shaking my head “tell that man of yours, where is our clothing? Tell that nigga we ain’t paying that price, I want that shit for free” rubbing my chin “I have a few pieces, you can take mine” I offered “we want it off the rack, brand new, signed sister” Halle is a trip.

I always find it slightly awkward when they speak sexually about things they do with their partners, maybe it’s just me “I noticed Rylee gets so quiet when we speak on this thing, why?” Halle asked me “I don’t know, like I am very closed off when it comes to sex, like it’s between me and him I feel, what you think?” I asked “it’s not a bad thing sister, I think it’s how you was raised. But it’s just us, I am sure you have done it a lot” I smiled “yeah, I think that is what made me like Oakley more, he is very good with me. Like you think he has no patience, but he does” Lillian poked her lips out “I look at you and I am like awww baby, you are so cute. Have you pleased him, like Halle she be touching his G-spot like it’s nothing, I won’t” I laughed “I haven’t done that, but I have yeah, I mean I am not that bad. Like I am not that shy anymore, mind you he never asked me I just did it. But like the thing is, he very closed like he won’t show love publicly, his hands behind his back and looking but in the bedroom he is a baby, wanting to be little spoon. And that is annoying me, I have said it to him, I have told him that I don’t like how you are just not showing me love how I should be, but he is trying. Did I tell you that he was rough with me, and he said sorry to me because he said he felt he hurt me but then I heard him telling Wadz he was rough and he didn’t care, I am like you hiding this thug shit, it’s not cute” Lillian pulled a face “he is keeping face with the public, I think we should go to the place. I think we should get our free gear too. We need him to show you love in public, I don’t think he his ashamed, it’s how he is publicly, a roadman and all that shit but honestly I see it slipping. In that interview, Colin mentioned it. He said you see how he changed when Rylee sat with him, I saw his smile and he was a little giddy with it, it won’t last long but I want the drop so come Rylee, you’re coming” Halle is being dead ass “we was just speaking on sex?” Lillian said “yeah and then I remembered Oakley did us dirty with asking for money, Colin needs some gear” looking at Lillian “it’s going to be horrible out there, full of kids and idiots” she doesn’t care.

Halle locked her car door, and there is a long line of people, like it’s going around the block “yeah that ain’t happening, come” Halle grabbed my hand, and I held Lillian as we walked over to the guy that is managing the crowd “to the back” he said “wow, not you” he laughed “not you, not you. Wait here” he got on his talkie “if he didn’t fix his mouth I would have done that for him” Halle is a hard ass, I am getting mad side eyes from this crowd well the girls “yeah over here, near the back. I got Central Cee girlfriend here, she is here” he said, I didn’t even know this was the back “I cannot be walking there brother” Halle said to him “come, come. Quick” he said, “the G-Wagon is coming, like two minutes” Lillian is not happy “he owe us, you get on that talkie, is he on there?” Halle asked “he is there yeah” he laughed “that is my friend, where you come from” he said “a bald headed friend at that, tell him he owe me, right now” I laughed shaking my head “some wild girl is here for Cench, you owe her” Halle shrugged “fix your face bitch, he isn’t going to fuck you” Halle isn’t shit “she has been eyeing us up all that time “he said owe you for what, the G-Wagon. Get in” he waved at us, the door opened “you look like a kidnapper” I said, I don’t know who this is “come, come. Get in” who is this guy that got out, getting into the back seat “alright Rylee” Wyge said “hey, I was forced to come, Halle wants clothes” he chuckled “yeah we are pretty shocked to hear you are here” Lillian sat on my lap “that guy got to come in” letting out an oh as we squeezed in “just around there, not far” letting out an oh and then shrieked out as the car drove off, this line is so long it’s crazy to see “all this for him? I got beef with him” Halle said, he turned the corner and into building. Walking into the hall it is so busy in here and a mess of fans around “what you doing here?” Oakley laughed walking over to us “she wanted clothes from you” pointing at Halle “you said that shit is two hundred bills, I IMd him on Instagram and he gave me that air” Oakley is laughing “yeah, yeah. Well you got the money?” He asked her “aye, aye, aye. Watch it, stay behind that barrier” Oakley spat “watch out Cench” the security came instead “you good yeah?” He asked me and then leaned into me, hugging me “was that hard?” I said in his ear “don’t start that please, I was talking” so he says.