#she never ever underestimates her she knows if she does that she's dead

[swan2swan]

Brooklynn making a joke about her limb difference and Soyona showing disapproval of this woman's possible self-deprecation (a split second before realizing that she's actually going to have to murder her) is incredible stuff, actually.

[neteyamsilly]

Being Neteyam's Only Daughter...

pairing ;; dad!neteyam x daughter!reader

genre ;; headcanons

notes / explanations ;; i wrote this instead of i will soften every edge, the brainrot was too strong. SORRY . entirely unedited so i could get it off my system. not what you guys were waiting for but i hope you enjoy!

��� After a whole tumultuous lifetime of playing guardian to his siblings that he might as well be called their third parent, getting a whisker’s away from death at his teens solely because his little brother was looking for some action, Neteyam is enervated — he cannot imagine a life with children, and doesn’t even want to. He has already raised three.

♯ He may be good with children in general but that doesn't mean he could handle raising multiple of his own. The thought alone gives him intense anxiety.

♯ A mate would be nice. Would mean privacy, and his own world free from the burden of having to look after his siblings. His own family. One thing belonging to Neteyam and Neteyam only.

♯ He does get a mate, eventually. Right after Tuktirey can be responsible for her own. It's not something his father tells him to do, Neteyam just couldn't trust Lo'ak with their youngest sister even when the boy became a man. Lo'ak was still Lo'ak.

♯ And then comes the dreaded, silent expectation his mother stares right into his soul every time she sees him and his mate together: I want grandchildren.

♯ Neteyam doesn’t. He really doesn’t. Some peace and quiet would be nice for a while, he really likes the mellowness of the present, feels so light now. He has his own life, finally. Home away from the Sullys. He doesn't have to wake himself up before his siblings. The silence and comfort of love is new and strange, but it's nice and it's his. They can pry it away from his cold, dead hands.

♯ No children.

♯ Neteyam finally has his peace.

♯ No children, mother, seriously.

♯ ...Not now, at least.

♯ And if it ever happens. Only one. That would be enough for Neteyam and his mate. The horror of having a big family enters his dreams sometimes even now, he startles awake with the sensation of Lo’ak having ditched him, none of his siblings around, and the trouble that would follow.

♯ Yeah, no. Neteyam isn’t going to spend his life running after another batch of children. No way.

♯ Only one. One is enough.

♯ Eywa, he hopes the child would be like him if it ever happens. Neteyam takes pride in his precocious childhood free of immaturity. Not that he's dying to be a father, but if he ever becomes one, he hopes the child is calm and easy to communicate with.

♯ He knows his mate wants to be a parent one day, and knows he also will be ready eventually, but having to give up how wonderful life has become... Neteyam just wants to be selfish for once.

♯ (Somehow he can't get used to the solitude of peace, but won't admit he misses the rowdiness of his siblings and how bright each and every day was with them. Neteyam doesn't realize it's loneliness.)

♯ He doesn't expect to be as excited when it happens. Neteyam knows before his mate does and it's not the usual pregnancy symptoms, but the change of scent, in the past, he had detected his own mother was with child that way, from what he knew, this was unique to him and him only, but it was conclusive and Neteyam was right every time.

♯ His stomach doesn't sink like he thought it would, and his mate gets scared with the scream that follows his dissociation.

♯ It has to be a girl. He wants it to be a little baby girl. The desire to coddle and pamper his baby the way none of the Sully siblings were overwhelms him. If it was a son, he'd love him all the same, make him feel loved and appreciated like the Sully patriarch never really did with him, it's just, the thought of another Lo'ak on his hands just worries him.

♯ Neteyam really underestimated how ready to be a father he really was. It shouldn't really be surprising to him given his big brother status, he already knows how to be a parent - but didn't know he wanted to be one, deep down, that he looks forward to the chaos his child would bring back to his life.

♯ His mother and father are nothing less than elated. It's going to be their first grandchildren, and Neteyam sees Jake Sully shed a couple tears for the first time in his life. They have a father-son hunting trip together for the offering to Eywa in the name for the safe arrival of his child, and have countless conversations about fatherhood. If it was Lo'ak, he'd be willing to learn the new knowledge, but Neteyam already knows all he should, and his father is guiltily aware of this too, his delivery is awkward, and Neteyam does his best to alleviate the talk.

♯ They don't know the gender until the day you're born.

♯ And his wishes have come true: a girl. You're healthy and fairly plump from how Neteyam kept feeding his mate throughout the pregnancy.

♯ He can't believe he has a child, and that he has his whole life together with you now. How scary it is that you have become his whole world the moment he holds you, that he is the protector of this tiny, little life. How will he be as a father? What kind of person will you become?

♯ It comes as second nature to hold you when it's fairly new to his mate, he knows how to handle you, how to calm you down, how to baby talk that it creeps his siblings out to see him openly loving that way.

♯ His father had talked about the sky person concept of monarchy in the past. He says how you're Neteyam's pretty little princess one day, and it sticks. Neteyam thinks so too, but Paskalin is what he calls you - sweet berry.

♯ Because you are very sweet, the calmest, most endearing baby he's ever known. The most adorable. He doesn't know anyone cuter than you that he catches playful aggression the whole time, wanting to bite into you and pinch you all around. Eywa help him, he hasn't felt like this in his life, ever. None of his siblings were close to being this delightful. His Paskalin is way too loveable.

♯ You don't cry at night, go to sleep easily, only fuss when you want or need something, and are full of smiles and laughter, you know how to entertain yourself. Neteyam can't believe how convenient everything is.

♯ His father says Neteyam was like this as a baby too, and you've taken after him. Usually, the first child's perfection tricks the parents into having more children, he says, and it's the easiest trap to fall into.

♯ Turns out, it's not something Neteyam is happy about. How flawlessly well-behaved you are as a baby, he means. He wished you would act out more, Neteyam would happily go along with your whims.

♯ It stems from his own childhood wounds, he wasn't allowed to be childish, so he hopes you would be. Neteyam wants to give you everything he wanted but couldn't have as a child.

♯ So he spoils you rotten. And it feels gratifying to make you happy.

♯ You and him are inseparable. Wherever he goes, you toddle behind him like a shadow.

♯ Neteyam is warned multiple times by his parents for overindulging you that you'd end up uninterested in the company of your peers, therefore experience isolation and loneliness, and end up hyper-independent because of those poor social skills, that you would end up selfish and entitled because he gave you whatever you wanted and become hyper-sensitive to criticism and in-family conflict due to not experiencing emotional toughening by interacting with friends and being too overly fond of him, your main source of affection.

♯ Some of those worries end up being realized, and some of them don't.

♯ As you grow up, Neteyam's wishes that you would want to be spoiled more get grander. His daughter is generous and loving. You aren't immature and childlike like he wants you to be. His Paskalin keeps getting sweeter as you get older and older. You don't ever ask for anything the more Neteyam wants to keep giving, always saying you had everything you could ask for in life, and if you wanted a specific something, you could get it yourself and wouldn't want to bother him with that.

♯ Neteyam really regrets praying to Eywa for an obedient child.

♯ He thinks of having more children at times, to give you companions, but gives up on it as soon as he entertains the idea. He would never want you to go through the same things as he did as the eldest brother.

♯ Neteyam doesn't know what to do about you not straying from his side and only ever wanting to be around adults. Your favorite people are your grandparents. That shouldn't really be a child's first preference, right? He knows he was like this, but also, it wasn't normal. Even your aunt Tuk was too young for you and her hyperactivity made you uncomfortable for some reason.

♯ He never knew your dislike of going out and socializing, your preference of staying on your own rather than getting close to your younger cousins.

♯ Great Mother, you weren't a shy girl that he knows of, always talkative and energetic with him. Neteyam has only noticed your quietness recently when you were old enough to go and start learning with other kids.

♯ You don't have any friends that he knows of. You orbit around people your age, but don't get involved, more interested in your hobbies and interests and duties within the village.

♯ His mother told him this would happen.

♯ Kiri tells him he has raised a girl version of himself and it bothers Neteyam. He loves that you are a daddy's girl and so close to him that you are basically transparent to him, but he really wishes you were more childish. You are too mature for his liking.

♯ When you hit your teens, he's confronted with a new dilemma. He doesn't know what a helicopter parent is, but his father says Neteyam has become one. That he doesn't allow you to face failure and challenges, and heavily guides you the more he becomes anxious about how you're turning up. He says Neteyam needs to leave you alone.

♯ Which he's too anxious to do. He doesn't know where this comes from and why he's this way. Neteyam just worries too much and doesn't want you to have the troubles he did.

♯ It becomes particularly stronger when he finds out you were having bullying problems.

♯ In the clan his father was the Olo'eyktan of. In the clan he was to be Olo'eyktan of. He can't fathom the audacity any more than he can't believe you were hiding it from him. You never hid anything from your father in your life, ever. He makes you cry for the first time when he confronts you and gets angry over it.

♯ You hadn't even done anything wrong, and Neteyam regrets it immediately, hugging you and apologizing for it on the spot.

♯ He offers to teach those kids who saw you too meek a lesson, but you tell him that they do it because they think of you unworthy to be his daughter and Toruk Makto's family. He learns they think you're weak and passive with barely any presence at all, when you were the brightest and sweetest girl Neteyam knew.

♯ Someone had taught you humiliation where he couldn't see or help. Stripped you off your worth. These kids were jealous of you. They wanted your status and it was clear as day to Neteyam, but he couldn't make you see the way he saw.

♯ It's Lo'ak who teaches you how to bite back, Kiri how to hit where it hurts with words and Tuk how to manipulate. None of them let Neteyam get involved, you have to do this on your own and prove your worth to yourself.

♯ He can't be more proud of you when you manage to stand up for yourself, and excitedly tell him about it one day along with the news that you have made a couple friends, too.

♯ The feeling of you branching on your own path stings and weighs heavy in his heart as he tastes the bittersweet of his child growing up, but his Paskalin would be alright, he decides.

♯ He will be with you every step of the way.

[calisources]

CHILDREN   OF   THE   NIGHT.   a   collection   of   quotes   and   scenarios   about   vampires.   change   pronouns/names   as   you   see   fit.   These   were   all   taken   from   different   sources   of   fiction,   both   in   literature   and   audiovisual   media.   all   known   triggers   for   vampire   media   apply   (blood,   death,   murder,   gothic   horror, obsessive love   and   more).

SENTENCES AND QUOTES. change pronouns and names, locations as you see fit.

"I took mythology a lot more seriously since I’d become a vampire."

“None of us really changes over time; we only become more fully what we are.��

"A vampire, like a lady, never reveals his true age."

"How do we seem to you? Do you find us beautiful and magical?”

"The strength of the vampire is that people will not believe in him."

"Listen to them, the children of the night. What music they make!"

"The blood is the life!"

"Loving the monsters always ends badly for the humans. It's a rule."

“When people see good, they expect good. I don't want to have to live up to anyone's expectations.”

“Love is a vampire’s greatest weakness. And we are not weak.”

“You know that old saying. Once you go dead, no one's better in bed.”

“For a hundred years I offered ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart.”

"I'm not human. And I miss it. I miss it more than anything in the world. That is my secret."

“I'm in love with a woman I can never have. The point is I'm in love with her and it's driving me crazy. I'm not in control.”

"Your life is pathetic. Your after-life doesn't have to be."

"Life sucks either way, Jeremy. At least if you're a vampire, you don't have to feel bad about it if you don't want to."

"You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure and even a little danger."

"Sometimes the world turns good people into bad people."

"People have been after me for a thousand years, but I'm always one step ahead."

"Mother made us vampires. She didn't make us monsters. We did that to ourselves."

"Perhaps one day, in a year or even in a century. You'll turn up at my door and let me show you what the world has to offer."

"Do you have any idea how rare love is? In a thousand years, I have found it but twice, and when I have, I have honored it."

"You're a vampire, sweetheart. I don't think you'll ever be okay again."

“When you feel the blood rush in, you tell yourself that you’re gonna get through it; that you’re strong enough.”

“You’d be surprised how easy it is to forget the past, Elena.”

“I wanna rip into your skin. And I wanna feed on your blood. Under your skin.”

“I just want one taste. That''s all I need. I just want one taste.”

“There’s the briefest of moments before we kill, where we literally hold their life in our hands and then rip it away, and we’re left with nothing.”

“Do you know the secret to immortality?”

“The vampire bond. There is no human equivalent.”

“He was my mentor, my murderer, my maker.”

“When was the last time you drank blood?”

“Left you with a bit of a craving, didn’t it? One day that craving is gonna grow.”

“That's cause you took my life! I got nothing. I lost everything. I lost my brother. I lost my family. About to lose the last fucking thing I care about.”

“And then I watched you pull over and drain a dog. And run down an alleyway for two more rats. This is not a life!”

“Hunting is an art. You have the power to subdue anyone you want, but sometimes restraint is your most powerful weapon.”

“What does this taste like to you?”

“There is one thing about being a vampire that I must fear above all else, and that is loneliness. You can't imagine the emptiness. The void.”

“Vampires are killers. Apex predators whose all-seeing eyes were meant to give them detachment. The ability to see a human life in its entirety.”

“Don’t underestimate the allure of the darkness. Even the purest hearts are drawn to it.”

“End of the day, human life is just a means to an end. Our means to our end.”

“A mutual law of nature is the strong always take from the weak.”

“It’s better to have a flawed life lived than wasted rotting away in clay.”

“Hatred, a pure and perfect hatred that’s greater now than the day I first took your life.”

“A thousand years of history isn’t going to write itself.”

“I can’t be killed.”

“I’m the monster lesser monsters fear.”

"I have crossed oceans of time to find you."

"You don't know what you are asking of me. To drink from you."

"You need blood, take it."

"To walk with me you must die to your breathing life, and be reborn to mine."

"I love you, Stefan. We will be together again. I promise."

"You loved me once, you will love me again."

"I made him. Did you know that?"

"I never compelled your love. It was real, and so was mine."

"What did you think was gonna happen? She would look at you, see your real face and give you a kiss?"

"I could swap this life of shame. Swap it out for a dark gift. You just have to ask me for it."

"Vampyrism is, by definition, an afterlife."

"I'm not the one who was sleeping with one vampire while half in love with another. Your morality is a moving target. Mine is not."

"A man damaged by his demons and those demons are not dormant, they are hell-bent on killing me and everything I find beautiful. And you, you are beautiful."

"You are stronger now. Meaner. Sexier."

"They are like vampire royalty. The oldest among us."

"He is the original hybrid. Half vampire, half werewolf."

"We both know I could snap your neck and do my nails at the same time."

 “Viktor. The oldest and strongest of us. That night, he made me a Vampire. "

"Stop fighting who you are."

"I'll tell you what I know about death, Camille. Death dances silently in everyone's shadow, and she doesn't give a damn."

"Turns out, I have complicated feelings for a monster."

ACTIONS AND SCENARIOS. Add a +reverse for the inverse action. Change names as you see fit.

[YOU ARE NOT HUMAN]: sender figured out receiver is a vampire and confronts them.

[FEEDING HOUR]: receiver finds sender feeding on someone's blood.

[WHEN IS A MONSTER NOT A MONSTER]: sender touches receiver's vampire face, showing they are not afraid.

[YOU NEED TO]: sender offers their blood to receiver.

[ECHOES OF THE PAST]: receiver is a doppelganger/looks like a person the sender knew in the past.

[DEATH AND THE MAIDEN]: receiver and sender can't be together as one is immortal and the other is a vampire.

[MY MAKER, MY LOVER]: sender is receiver's sire and they reunite after centuries after.

[BOND]: receiver is senders fledgling and sender can feel them.

[ELIXIR]: receiver is hurt and sender, a vampire, feeds them their blood.

[SHARING]: sender tempts receiver to share a meal of blood.

[HUNTING THE HUNTER]: sender is a vampire hunter, and they found receiver.

[THE INVITATION]: receiver receives an INVITATION to stay at sender's gothic/ancient manor.

[DRACULA'S BRIDE]: sender wants receiver to be one of their wives/lovers.

[BLOOD FAMILIAR]: sender is a vampire familiar, a human bloodbag under receiver protection. receiver finds out another vampire had bitten them.

[CRAVING]: sender tasted receiver once and craved them again.

[INVITED]: after bring invited inside, sender shows up at receiver's home.

[LICK]: sender licks receiver's blood remains from their mouth.

[LAST RESORT]: receiver has to turn sender into vampire because they are dying. sender wakes up in transition.

[ANCHOR]: sender calms receiver down after receiver went on a bloodlust spree. sender reminds them their humanity.

[RIVAL COVENS]: sender and receiver are from rival vampire covens and they talk in neutral ground.

[HUMANITY]: sender is human and because of them, receiver is starting to feel humanity again.

[I'LL BE YOUR GUIDE]: receiver is guiding sender through the early stages of vampirism.

[RIVAL SPECIES]: sender is a werewolf/witch and receiver is a vampire. they fall in love/ally with each other.

[DHAMPIR]: sender is a half human, half vampire who just had their first taste of human blood. receiver finds them.

[REFLECTION]: sender looks in the mirror and finds out that receiver has no reflection.

[idliketobeatree]

dead boy detectives characters as art objects and sculptures; extended ---

hello, i remembered i made some subjective explanations and notes on few of my choices for this post, and i thought some folks might enjoy it. soo let's get into it.

1.

monty finch

author: anders krisár

pretty self-explanatory; it's a moulded male torso with visible inprints on its skin.

anders krisár’ artistry explores the themes of loss, separation, and the condition of the psyche through the lens of a human body in duality: perfectionism meets unsettlement, skin meets marble and bronze and polyester, to create sculptures spanning geological time far beyond the living's capabilities.

monty's creation by esther was already stripped of any human agency. "he was made a boy, not a person", small, almost doll-sized, with a singular purpose: to seduce and entice the chosen dead boy into their doom. the naked skin and specifically the position of its arms are mildly erotic, but in a way that makes your skin crawl. the imprints are intimate, placed possesive; notice the thumbs digging close to especially sensitive areas like nipples and the belly button.

the latter seems to connect the "creator" to the subject, the navel here as a symbol of cruel, invasive motherhood. the fact that the torso is cut off in the middle and at the neck furthers the uncanny valley feeling of a young male body, but then again. this is a realistic portrayal. so was it ever a person? what does it have inside to make dents so profound? how deep you can press until it breaks?

--- i'm leaving out crystal and edwin (for now?), but @nicheoverhere brilliantly noticed that it was the same author for both. that was intentional! because glen martin taylor is all about taking kintsugi, which is a beautiful art form of repairing fine china and generally delicate things with veins of precious metals, but with materials like— nails. scissors. barbed wire. all ugly. the repair after a great shattering is seldom pretty after all, they really are similar in this regard. ---

2.

charles rowland

author: robert hudson

okay, strap in. this funky dreamy world belongs to robert hudson, and i picked it for charles rowland because it's all first impressions. the colours? the composition? they give you the 80s vibes, almost; like something a kid would design if you asked them what a time machine would look like. it could probably move in several ways. the pieces seem mismatched, but hold themselves together surprisingly well. or maybe you underestimate it?

it's neither big nor small. you can't tell its size at all. it's a bit overwhelming to look at, at first, and at second, and after a while, but it carries that comfortable familiarity and nostalgia for— well, nothing in particular, because the longer you look, the sadder its past seems. the bold pops of contrasting colour are fighting for your attention. they want you to like it! and yet, the major material seems to be just. rusted steel. made from tools.

and look at that botched up sphere, it wants so badly to be a perfect sphere and it knows it'll never be one. fine!! perhaps it could be a football ball instead! or maybe a head. if you close your eyes, that is. and this facing-up horseshoe? a lucky charm, made to collect good luck and keep it from falling out cause god, it needs it.

---

3.

niko sasaki

author: justin cloud

---

niko sasaki, now how do i describe her? let's start by saying— she's cleary a her. this one is a she. and there's something to be said about blooming, and femininity, and delicacy, because pink is a hopeful girly colour and a surprise and a delight.

what are you doing in a gallery, little flower, shouldn't you be at home? in a field? look how pretty you are! mind you, of course there's something wrong with her as well, but you're not sure if that is because someone messed it up, or because of a different entity alltogether. was it always half-electric? its elegance seems purposeful— the iridescent metal fits all too well with the white-pink petals— but also uncanny. and oh suddenly you can't stop looking at the stigma from which a pollen should release aaany time now.

when i look at her, at her black artificial stem and the small leaves imitating the real ones, i wonder if she doesn't want to lure me into a trap. is it her fault?

the beautiful petals seem like the only thing left real of the flower. whichever way she turns, it will probably mean— death. and flowers are ephemeral. what is a flower mounted to a wall, fortified with steel, connected with cables and enfused with electrical energy, then?

i think she's a self-preserving survivor. ---

4.

the night nurse

author: elizabeth turk

---

now. the night nurse.

of course it's the only piece in the collection where the background needed to be dark. no one here is older than her. there is no inoffensive, fading-into-background white for this absolute pillar of truth. or maybe something like a totem, quite protective in nature. and it's terrifying, 'cause you're immediately hit with the feeling that you're looking at something out of this realm, something you're not supposed to witness. the perspective is all wrong. is it downwards or upwards? why does it seem unstable when the pieces are so perfectly centered and seemingly well-balanced? child, you should calm down, it's not like you will destroy it with a stronger puff of air. will you?

this sculpture is called "tipping point — echoes of extinction", and it's actually a mix of technology and sculpture and sound, with elegant visualizations of the lost voices of birds and sea mammals. the author said it "was conceived in reverence to the astounding lives the species which envelop humans have lived and the mysterious ways they have contributed to our well-being. the shadows of their memory, whether a shape or a sound, have inspired this project." so the piece deals with death. moreover, it deals with murder. it records the harsh reality and makes sure the ones that suffered horribly at the hands of humans are, in a way, celebrated. but also— categorised. like epitaphs. the birdsong, once a living sign, is only visually represented by the lines of varying lenghts in 3D, and you can do nothing about it anymore, right, you can't bring back the dead, you can't help the innocent dying in any way other than— stacking them on top of each other and moving on.

---

so that's for now, i might someday write more if anyone's curious. :")

[krispycreamcake]

yeeees! Please go for the headcanon!!

From author: Was secretly wishing you'd send this 🙏🏼

If you killed someone in the Sakamaki household

Shu Sakamaki

🎻- Honestly just like every other brother, it heavily depends on who was killed

🎻- If it was Reiji, he'd be ecstatic, kind of

🎻- His relationship with Reiji is extremely strained and that's without him even knowing about him "killing" Edgar

🎻- He'd be impressed that you managed to kill someone like Reiji which initially makes him extremely wary of you

🎻- His immediate reaction to finding out would be disbelief but then escalate into one of satisfaction

🎻- He'd probably say something along the lines of "What would that woman think if she knew you died by the hands of a mere mortal, I wonder?" And cue insane laughter please

🎻- If it was someone less relevant to him, then I'd say he's the type of guy to not care until he actually sees the body dressed up and ready to be buried

🎻- Now I'm not saying he'll go into grieving or anything, but it'll actually hit him that his brother is in fact dead

🎻- Now for his reaction towards YOU

🎻- That's a completely different story

🎻- Like I said before, his reaction would differ and if you really did manage to kill Reiji, he'd be ever so grateful but he'd never say it. Ever.

🎻- He'd probably be curious though as to what drove you to killing him, or any of his brothers for that matter

🎻- He'd analyze the situation in his mind and pick out the flaws that led to their demise

🎻- Realistically he'd care but not for too long. Give him about less than a week to get accustomed and he'll be fine

🎻- He'd never underestimate you again though, he'll make sure of that

🎻- If it was Yui however, then that's a lot more complicated

🎻- If his relationship was well developed with her, you'd be dead, without a doubt

🎻- If he was still in his almostgivingafuckbutnotreally stage, he wouldn't care a lot

🎻- He'd be kinda irritated that you killed his prey though and then Karl would just send another troublesome woman to bother him

🎻- But like I said, if he really did start to warm up to Yui or was already warmed up, you'd be dead in an instant

Reiji Sakamaki

☕- Surprised and concerned

☕- This may honestly seem like a shock to some people but Reiji actually does care for his brothers and has stated that he enjoys living with them

☕- Going off of this information, we can assume he'd be at least a tiny bit distraught even if he doesn't convey it outwardly

☕- Like Shu, he'd want to know your motives and additionally, how you even managed to do such a thing

☕- He'd honestly miss their presence and picking up after them. He would probably cope in some weird ass way

☕- Maybe he'd start writing letters to them and keep them sealed away somewhere extremely safe

☕- Initially, his face would go 😨 and then you'd have to deal with him mourning

☕- He'd probably avoid you realistically until he has thoughts in an order

☕- This process can take either a day or a month depending

☕- God forbid it was Shu that was killed however

☕- Once again, cue insane laughter

☕- Seeing your lifelong rival die is something I'm sure is hard to process

☕- I'm not saying he wouldn't be relieved that his good for nothing brother died, especially since it meant he was now the oldest and had more opportunities opened up to him

☕- But as much as he does hate Shu, it's still his brother and at some point in their lives, they weren't rivals

☕- Now I'm not saying he'll be even slightly upset with his death but

☕- Actually let me backtrack a bit

☕- Imagine hating someone so much because all they do is show you up without having to do anything and in a second, they're gone

☕- Reiji would almost throw a tantrum

☕- Their relationship can be comparable to Joker and Batman in a sense

☕- Let me elaborate on that for a second

☕- Building your life around a certain person and making sure you come out on top no matter what

☕- Having the very reason that you're the person you are today, be ripped away from you is something that's always hard to process whether your relationship with them is negative or positive

☕- Reiji needs to feel the satisfaction of killing Shu so he can translate onto him the years of pent up rage and resentment and pain and hurt and jealousy

☕- Killing Shu would mean to Reiji that you took away the one thing he could've owned for himself without being overshadowed

☕- If you take away the very thing that makes Reiji, Reiji, then he'll lose the foundation for all his successes in life

☕- If you killed Yui however, obviously death

☕- I feel like I shouldn't have to say it each time, but expect to die in some twisted malevolent way

☕- Let's say he didn't have that bond with Yui, he'd still be pissed

☕- Probably lock you in the dungeon without food so you could "understand" the extent of your crimes

Ayato Sakamaki

🏆- Ok so I'm not sure how many people know this, but Ayato is the most sympathetic of his brothers, I'd go as far to say even empathetic

🏆- Now I'm not saying this makes him a morally good person and whatnot, or that he'll cry everyday and bring flowers to his brother's grave, no

🏆- We learn that Ayato is actually quite understanding and sympathetic when he states that he understands why Cordelia did certain things and even pitied her

🏆- With that in mind, it'd hurt him, a lot

🏆- We all know Ayato is one to wear his heart on his sleeve no matter wherever or whoever

🏆- He'll be outwardly upset but that doesn't mean he'll be seen mourning

🏆- To break it down, he's the type of person to stare at the empty seat in the dining room and can't help but realize that chair will always be empty

🏆- Or he'll realize that he'll live long enough to forget his brother's voice, sometimes stand in front their bedroom door, not saying anything and then walking off

🏆- He'll notice how the living room feels slightly bigger when there's family meetings and how he'll never get to shout at that person again

🏆- Due to him being conditioned to being number one, he'll have extremely mixed feelings

🏆- As a competitor, the game isn't fun without other opponents, even if it's a game you know you'll win because then you coming first means nothing

🏆- Dying or in this case, 'dropping out the race' would make Ayato stop running for once and look back at the other players

🏆- That's if it was someone he wasn't as close with

🏆- Now let's say you killed Laito for instance, he'd have quite a different reaction

🏆- He would actually mourn his brother but never let anyone see him

🏆- His relationship with Laito is complicated but not an enigma

🏆- He feels as if he owes Laito something from not being able to help him in his past

🏆- Knowing that he died meant that he failed as a brother

🏆- If you killed Laito out of self defence, he'd be upset that his brother was dead but not because you defended yourself

🏆- Like I said earlier, he's the most understanding and sympathetic

🏆- If he could go into the shoes of the woman who abused and made his life hell

🏆- He could understand why you did what you did

🏆- If however it wasn't out of self defence, like Reiji he'd need to take a while to compose himself

🏆- He'd wanna know why and how and then just sit on his bed not knowing what to feel

🏆- He'd be upset at you if that was the case and you'd probably have to work to regain his trust again(if you want it)

🏆- But like I said, still the most understanding, so he had a feeling you might pull something like this if you started getting pestered too often or showed signs that you weren't doing okay

🏆- And oh God if it was Yui, yeah you're not coming out alive and I know I've said this like 2 times already, but let me be clear

🏆- You will wish he killed you

🏆- Prey or not, taking something that belongs to Ayato is never ever a good idea

From author: Guys it's 2am, I'll upload the other brothers tomorrow I promise, just please don't kill my family. (Ps, I love you guys❤)

[shanastoryteller]

Happy birthday!!!!

WWX identity shenanigans? Or anything!

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33

A-Qing is scared.

Everyone around her is dead.

Everyone except Xiao Xingchen and Chengmei.

She doesn't know what to do. Xiao Xingchen remarks at how strange and reclusive everyone in this town is and she nods and complains, saying she wants to go someplace a little more lively, but Chengmei insists he likes it here.

Xiao Xingchen is blind and can't tell that everyone around them is dead and A-Qing can't tell him because she's supposed to be blind too, because if she tries then Chengmei will discover the truth about her and she'll become just one more dead girl who can't do anything to help anyone.

There has to be something happening here, some spell or trick. Xiao Xingchen had smelled blood on the road but he doesn't seem to notice the air of decay or the way no one around them is breathing. Chengmei has done something to dull Xiao Xingchen's senses or addle his mind, has done something to him that he hasn't done to her.

It's important to her that people underestimate her. She's worked hard to be underestimated. But she's almost regretting it now - maybe it would be better to be walking around in ignorance, rather than having to smile and laugh and pretend that the walking corpses around them don't frighten her halfway into being a corpse herself.

She could leave. Chengmei doesn't care enough about her to stop her, she doesn't think, and maybe she could get some help. But what will happen to Xiao Xingchen while she's gone? What if Chengmei does something terrible to him? What if he takes Xiao Xingchen and leaves and by the time she comes back they're gone forever?

The thought is ever worse than her current situation, so she stays, and hopes one day she'll find an opening to get them to safety.

She's by the river, because the corpses seem to avoid running water, when she sees a woman she's never seen before walking through the mist. A-Qing squints, trying to make sense of what she's seeing as the woman heads in her direction. It makes her nervous, but the corpses have never hurt her before.

She's wearing pale blue robes and she's tall, for a woman, and almost too skinny. Her dark hair falls freely down her back but she has a strange ribbon wrapped around her forehead. A-Qing is trying to figure out what killed her, considering she lacks the puffy face of strangulation or and her robes are free from blood, when she notices a sword at the strange woman's side.

Terror shoots through her. A-Qing yanks her robes to her knees, getting ready to run, when the woman waves at her and shouts, "You there! You're alive, aren't you? Have you seen anyone else alive around here? He'd be this tall, in all white, very pretty?"

A-Qing freezes, mouth dropping open. The woman still has her tongue. Her eyes sting and she desperately tries to blink her tears away, worried if she loses sight of the woman in front her that she'll disappear completely.

This woman is alive. She's got a sword and she's smiling and she's asking for Xiao Xingchen, which means maybe she's a cultivator too, maybe she can save them from Chengmei's horrible games.

A-Qing throws herself at the woman, who in spite of her small stature doesn't so much as sway with the impact, and instead lays a warm hand against her back. "What's all this, then? What are you doing here with all this going on, anyway?" She rubs soothing circles into her back. "Hey, hey, don't cry! It's going to be okay. I may not look like much, but I'm pretty good with stuff like this."

She's warm. She's warm and alive and she's a cultivator and she's going to help.

A-Qing keeps her forehead pressed against the woman's chest and starts talking.

[onesaltybagel]

Finally talking about season 5 because I’ve been putting it off

Notes won’t be in order at all and are mostly about the final episodes

Spoilers BOGOOA BOOO!!!!

When people were saying that Sean had really gone all out this season, I was like “oh ok maybe there’s a kinda sad scene or a really heartfelt scene”. NO. I WAS SO WRONG. I was NOT prepared for the scene of him screaming and wailing to the point of his voice cracking and going raw because he wanted Mk to stop so badly. I did not ever imagine I was going to see that and I’m still not over it. If I see it again, I get chills every time and I’m in love.

Nine-headed demons full form is so cool! I can’t believe we saw that before the trailer even dropped and I thought nothing of it! I thought it was just going to be another guardian of the stone! God the designs in this show rock

Mk saying “don’t make me do this” was perfect. It was so quiet, so small and full of emotion. Had he planned since that first moment he was going to use the circlet? He knew since like episode two that he was going to be doing something EVERYONE wouldn’t want him to do and- presumably- it became clear really fast to him what that was. Was he planning all along?

I cannot stress this enough- THE FIGHT IN EPISODE ONE FORESHADOWED THE FIGHT IN EPISODE NINE.

Nuwa saying I’m so proud of you, her voice actor is completely perfect for her. It was so soft and gentle :(((

Mk crying from joy. He should never have to be in that position, it is so unfair that he was created just to die- over and over and over again. I’m so glad he found another way.

Nuwa saying “my sacrifice AND yours” what did she sacrifice? When she fixed the pillar the first time, was she the one that entered the pillar to fix the sky along with the stones?

WHERE IS NUWA EXACTLY??? Is that just what- the inside of the pillar looks like?

Will we see Nuwa again?

Oh my GOD Wukong catching Mk made me want to throw up. That little bit where we see it through Mk’s eyes kills me every single time.

People gaining elemental powers? Is that- every person who didn’t already have any? Like- some went into Red son did he gain MORE power like that one fire sneeze girl or is he the same? If he is, he’ll be mad LMAO

The chaos HHUUUGHGHGHB ITS SO PRETTY? I don’t know if it’s supposed to be unnerving but I want to stare at it for hours it’s so cool. Where is that? Outside the universe? How does the chaos affect things? WHO IS “HE?” I looked up Xiangliu and the only person I could associate that with was Gonggong who is another snake like entity.

Gonggong also knocked one of the eight pillars (theres eight?) holding up the sky and ends up dying in a battle with someone called Zhurong who is a fire god and has some story with Nuwa!

They’re all snakes. What is with snakes in this world?

Was Macaque still investigating? At the end, he’s in the court room again for some reason and at the start of the season he said he was looking around for stuff related to Mk. Macaque is a hero and he cannot deny it anymore.

Oh yeah the ten kings of the underworld are dead. What the fuck happens to dead people now?

Why does Macaque have chaos magic, who did he make a deal with and WHY WAS IT ON THE STAFF.

Li Jing is a complete asshole. If we’re basing him off canon then there’s no return but if him vandalising his son’s grave ISNT CANON, then he’s just bad dad. I hope he trips and falls over and embarrassingly gets a bruise on his forehead.

Nuwa x Lady Bone Demon toxic Yuri <33

I love Nuwa but I also hate her sm right now. Why did there have to be a cycle? Because there needed to be someone to fix the sky? Because that person would never be enough and they weren’t fixing the sky they were resetting it all instead? This is down to Nuwa underestimating the world- we see that- but I just cannot get over that she made a baby for the sole purpose of dying. He gets up, he gets the stones, he dies. He experiences nothing, he speaks to no one.

And Mk has absolutely had that life a thousand times.

But she doesn’t react as emotionally as I wished she had. This is nothing against the writers, I am just a Nuwa hater and lover rn. She was perfect, so cool, such an amazing character but she still needs to pay child support.

[cosmicjoke]

Levi never Glorified Violence and Never needed to be Taught a Lesson that Violence is Wrong:

Nothing makes me want to rip my hair out more than when I see clowns saying Levi was "blinded by revenge" over wanting to kill Zeke, that he was "too violent", and that's why he got blown up by the thunderspear.

It's such a deeply, fundamentally WRONG understanding of why Levi wanted to kill Zeke, and also, of why he ended up getting blown up. I've already spoken about the strategically sound reasoning behind Levi's actions, which you can read here, if you're interested: https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/746918499422781440?source=share But to summarize, Levi hooking Zeke to the thunderspear made perfect, logical sense within the context of Zeke's own actions and behavior up to that point. Zeke was someone who until then had engaged in tactics of deception and double-crosses, who had only killed others while at a safe distance and within the cocoon of his Titan form. Decidedly the actions and behavior of a coward. Levi had no, good cause to suspect Zeke would be willing to blow himself up to also take Levi out, and so his reasoning that the thunderspear would act as insurance against Zeke escaping while Levi was preoccupied with driving the cart back to the capital was a reasonable and logical conclusion for him to make. It wasn't a decision blinded by rage or an action taken in hast. Just like it was reasonable for Zeke to assume Levi would rather die than cut down his own comrades, because he knew of Levi's compassion. Both of them underestimated each other, and both of them paid for making assumptions about the other.

But further to the point, this whole idea that Levi was being "punished" for his violence is the stupidest shit I've ever seen. Because it basically posits that Levi glorified violence, and so needed to be "taught a lesson" that violence was wrong, when he's the one character in the story who NEVER did that. He never reveled in violence, he never tried to frame it as something good or desirable, or even tried to justify it. He always spoke about and treated violence for what it was, a means to an end and nothing more. He never tried to moralize it or excuse it. He was always completely objective about it.

Compare, for example, the matter of fact way Levi explains violence and killing to Armin and Jean, versus how Zeke frames his own actions of violence. Zeke calls his murder of people a "mercy". He frames it as a positive action which results in a positive, better outcome. He has a totally warped view of killing and violence because he tries to justify it and moralize it to himself and others. He tries to frame his violence as something which makes him a hero. Levi does no such thing. He tells Jean and Armin that he doesn't know if it's right or wrong to kill, only that if Armin hadn't killed that MP, they would all be dead, and that Armin can't go back to the person he was, because he's now taken human life. He isn't justifying it, or moralizing it, he isn't trying to spin it into something positive or good, or even into something bad or wrong. He's simply stating an objective truth and then telling the 104th that they need to make their own choice about what they believe is right and wrong in any, given situation.

Or compare the way Levi approaches torturing Sannes to how Hange does. Hange goes into that situation gung-ho at the idea of torturing Sannes, because she wants revenge on him for killing Pastor Nick. She thinks she'll enjoy torturing Sannes, and attempts to enjoy it by taking it to an extreme, only to realize she's getting no satisfaction at all from her cruelty. By comparison, Levi never does or even attempts to take pleasure in the act of torture. He approaches it as a means to an end, something he has to do in order to obtain the information they need to overthrow the current government. There's no justification in his mind, no excuse he tells himself to make himself feel better about it. He already knows it's horrible and ugly. He already understands perfectly the wretched reality of violence. Again, he's the ONLY character in the story who does, from start to finish. It's why Hange is so rattled and upset after torturing Sannes, because she thought it would be fun, only to learn it was anything but. Levi never thought it would be fun, he never expected it to be, never wanted it to be, and he never tried to convince himself that it was anything better than what it actually was. It's why we see his shocked expression when Hange engages in unnecessary cruelty by ripping one of Sannes' teeth out. He's always been the most objective character when it comes to violence. He's never labored under any belief that his violence made him a hero, and he never tried to glorify violence to anyone or told them they were heroes for killing.

It's also why Yelena says to him what she does, during the final arc, and the battle at the docks. Because she knows that he knows, better than anyone, the inherent violence of the human condition and the ugly reality of it. Yelena is trying to again push her fanatical belief in Zeke's antinatalist philosophy, by pointing out that people are always going to kill and be cruel to each other, and she makes the point to Levi specifically, because she knows Levi is the only one who'd already long ago understood and accepted that truth.

So this idea that Levi is this ultra-violent, revenge-obsessed lunatic that needs to be taught that "violence is bad" is fucking moronic, and I am SICK TO DEATH of seeing people perpetuate that bullshit take. I want to tell everyone who does to just shut the fuck up already, because they're actively damaging the perception people have of Levi's character every time they spew that garbage.

[fanfic-obsessed]

Responding to the Talk Shop Tuesdays post!

Leverage x Star Wars. Thoughts?

(I've had vague wonderings of leverage-style clone wars shenanigans but can't really get past "someone talks them into wrecking Palpatine's shit and they do" so I'm just throwing this into the air).

Alternatively, if you also have no thoughts there, favorite way you've written Palpatine accidentally shooting himself in the foot?

Oooh, Leverage and Start wars. I had not had that thought before…now I do. It’s legally required. 

I know you said during the clone wars but post Order 66 immediately came to mind. Let's start with our cast.

Mastermind: Cody (initially this was going to be Obi Wan with Cody being the hitter, but bear with me I think this will be even better). Cody deserts the empire, a broken man, lost everything. He thinks everyone he ever loved is dead.  A few years after his desertion, he gets his chip removed through a series of unfortunate events (though he never actually finds out what it is or what it does). He is drifting through life, doing just enough work to get the money to keep drinking. An honest man. And a smart one. 

Grifter: Obi Wan. After the Order goes out. After Anakin. After the birth of the twins, Obi Wan does spend a year or two on Tatooine. But Owen Lars makes a very specific good point, even a single slip up (and there are always slip ups), will bring the Empires attention to Tatooine (They believe Anakin is dead, so it is the Emperor’s attention that Obi Wan fears) and with that to Luke. It is better if Obi Wan is anywhere else. Owen is gracious in victory and agrees to updates up to four times a year.  So Obi Wan, Ben, loses himself. A new name every night, a new planet, a new voice.  The galaxy is a large place and Ben knows how to slip through and around the cracks.  Though no one has made the connection yet, a number Ben’s alias’s are wanted by the Empire, the Hutts, and the remaining Mandalorians (current total bounty’s, in credits, for all of his other aliases almost reaches the Empire’s bounty for Obi Wan Kenobi).

Hitter:  Boba Fett. Bounty Hunter. The only clone who wasn’t (who was a son). Often underestimated because of his youth. Alone by both circumstances and choice (even with Pond's death, Boba would be welcomed by most clones had he been willing to see them as sentient).  He is a teen when our team comes together and is still one of the most dangerous people in the galaxy. At first he barely considers any of these people sentient and is not sure why he is sticking around, but this is also the safest he has felt since his father had died. 

Hacker: Echo. After Tech’s death Echo found that he could not stay with the Bad Batch.  The ghosts of everybody he had lost draped around him, weighing him down, leaving Echo feeling he could not go back to the Rebels or Rex either.  He skimmed enough credits from various Empire accounts that he was able to buy himself a ship, which he then modified. He decided he would find, no matter the firewalls, every scrap of video or information regarding his lost brothers (all of them). That they would not be forgotten. When he found information that was pertinent to the Rebels, or the Bad Batch  he would send it along, but he now worked alone.

Thief: Reva. After the purge Reva hid for hours under the bodies of her friends. Before it was dark enough that her movement would not immediately give her away. Then weeks creeping through the lower levels of the temple before she could find a way to escape (All the while the giggles of her friend echoed in her head- This part of the temple had always been off limits and they had all talked about being big and strong and facing what was waiting in the dark-Reva did not feel big and strong now, but there was nothing more in the dark she feared). She taught herself to step soundlessly, barely touching the ground. She taught herself how to make herself small, or just big enough (just enough to wedge herself into a small, high, space).  It is amazing what one can learn if survival is on the line. Those hours coveted in the blood of her friends, the Force echoing with the horror her family was experiencing, then the weeks in the dark tunnels changed Reva irrevocably. Before she can be found by the Empire, she is found by a Master thief who sees in her his chance to pass on his legacy (Reva is just the right kind of broken).

Now that we have our cast, let’s look at how they come together. 

I love the Leverage Pilot, so let’s use that as a Framework.

Cody is drinking on Ord Mantell, approximately 14 BBY or 985 AAR,  when he is approached a Falleen Noble, who wants to hire him to run a job (though I do not know what the Falleen noble would say, I do imagine Cody saying Nate’s line “You know that part of the conversation where I punch you in the neck nine or ten times? We’re coming up on that pretty quick”). The Noble has hired Boba, Echo, and Reva as the rest of the crew.  The job is to steal back some plans (let's be honest this job does not matter much).  

The Job goes well, but when Echo mentions how well it went, he gets the brush off. Due to the fact that Cody still does not know about the chips, every other member of the crew has issues with clones. We speed run through the Falleen noble gathering them together for one last betrayal and an explosion. 

They wake up in a med ward. All of their DNA is being run. This is bad news. Standard panel would show that Reva is Force Sensitive (though no one else in the room knows that). It would also mark the other three as clones (Even Boba). Though the Empire does not particularly care about employing Clones, they would still pay handsomely for escaped clones.

This is where we veer slightly.  

Reva’s panic in the Force draws the attention of Obi Wan, calling himself Ben right now.  Enough time has passed (and enough has happened that all of their Force signatures had changed) that Ben only just recognizes Echo, and no one else.   For a single moment Ben hesitates, they are not his business (Ben also does not know why he was shot at) and are possibly his enemies.  But there was Echo, familiar if only just, and with him someone who was Force sensitive. A young force sensitive (in Ben’s mind anyone who is the right age that they could have been in the council room that day was someone to protect, because he failed those initiates). 

Ben is very good at grifting, so is easily able to get the four out of there (They also do not recognize him) and get them to a safe house.  There are several moments of uncomfortable silence before Ben greets Echo with a teasing, “Hello There Echo” in his real accent and voice. 

Cody is the one who frowns and peers at Ben (clean shaven), because it couldn’t be…

Echo asks who Ben is, Ben smiles sadly and says “I suppose it has been many years since Skako”

This told Echo next to nothing (he’s been back to Skako Minor a couple of times since the war) but Cody just straight up sits on the floor in shock (Trying to say general and Obi Wan and you’re alive all at once-it is a little unintelligible). When Ben looks directly at Cody for the first time (Ben can’t quite let himself focus on any of the clones, for fear of what he would see)  he realizes exactly who it is.

Ben, by sheer happenstance, manages to sit in a chair. This is followed by Echo needing to explain about the chips and order 66 (“There was what in my head!?!”/”You all had what in your heads?!?”).

I picture them absentmindedly destroying Falleen Noble, in a similar way to the show. They do it because he tried to kill them/did not pay them (Ben took that personally for all of them- Cody: He tried to kill us, that is a bit more important than not paying up Ben<waving a hand>:Trying to kill you is nothing, but not paying you is just rude.) 

I picture that they decide they might as well stay together, and grow into a found family (with Codywan being the exhausted parents) traveling around to help people ala leverage. They cannot and do not start going after the empire immediately. None of them want to draw the attention of the Empire, but if some of their jobs do include liberating people and occasionally planets, well they just have to be careful to not bite off more than they can chew and not to leave any tracks. They also do stop at Tatooine every so often (It turns out Owen likes Ben an awful lot more when he is not camped out in their backyard) so Luke knows them.  

I imagine that when Leia is kidnapped, a few years later, Bail is still able to reach Ben. The Leverage crew immediately go to save her. It is during this that it becomes known that Reva had been in the Temple, had been in the council room. This is very swiftly followed by the realization that Anakin Skywalker was Darth Vader (which none of the crew had known).

This…This is what circles them back around to take on the Empire (a cross between Leverage Season 3 and Leverage Season 4). They still work to help people, but it becomes more pointed. Throughout their new self appointed mission, Ben starts to train Reva, to help her overcome the trauma of the Purge.  

As they are now acting more deliberately against the Empire they begin to come across more familiar faces. Rebels (including Rex, Wolffe, and Gregor). Bail reintroduces them to Fulcrum (Ahsoka has mixed feelings about Obi Wan in particular. He challenges the way she remembers Anakin with rosy glasses). 

It certainly ends with Palpatine staring in abject shock as his empire burns around him.  Vader is being escorted to get correctly fitting prosthetics, from which he will go to prison. Bail ends up taking the Emperor position to start working on turning the Empire back to a Republic. 

Our team keeps going on finding people who need…Leverage

My favorite way that Palpatine shot himself in the foot is in Read the Fine Print  where Palptines first domino was his last, because he did not pay attention to a sub clause in the treaty. 

That was fun. Thank you @somestorythoughts

[afsosville]

Shen Jiu, if he was actually a competent shizun

My HC for how Shen Jiu is like with kids without trauma/healed trauma and shit: Honestly with a person like Shen Jiu, I can only see his interactions with kids going one of two ways, him being so very fond of them, and ofc, how he's like in canon. Ok look, in the third book under Shen Jiu's character description, it said that Shen Jiu definitely had more reasons to relate to Luo Binghe than to hate him yet he still chose violence for some fucked up reason. So yes, I for one headcanon that when he's in a better place mentally, he would choose to be doting and fiercely protective. We've seen that he's capable of being like that with Ning Yingying (and Qiu Haitang), and it's not outwardly obvious, but we can see it with the way she behaves around Shen Yuan when she thinks that's still Shen Jiu. She definitely acts like a spoiled younger sister/daughter who looks up to her guardian and shows a great amount of trust in him. So just imagine if that was extended to all of his disciples.

No coz if he was spared enough kindness for him to actually want to do better, he would choose the first option and emphasize with LBH instead BECAUSE smn gave HIM a chance and emphasized with HIM. LBH and SJ are parallels, and so whatever happens to SJ, it would be reflected onto LBH.

I am dead. I am so dead. I'm bleeding out so fast and goddammit it HURTS- SJ and LBH's whole story hurts sm.

Anyways-

I kinda like to imagine that when Shen Jiu's heart settles on the fact that maybe, just maybe, bleeding on ppl who didn't cut him and taking his hurt out on LBH is a no good very bad idea, he's going to end up over compensating for his whole fucking childhood and the way he projects on him is completely flipped.

"I'm going to treat you the way I wanted to be treated and ur going to feel loved and safe do you hear me?!?"

"Yes shizun (*＾v＾*)"

Here's the thing, he may be fond of his disciples, but he is still shit at taking care of them. He was robbed of his own childhood, so he doesn't know what normal kids act like in the first place. And he has no idea what the typical stages of development are and he would totally underestimate how dumb kids who didn't grow up like him would be. So yeah, shit at babysitting but loves them anyhow, for the same reason he would hate them in canon. (They remind him too much of himself). Idk, him being bad with kids regardless of trauma is so funny to me.

That moment when it clicks for him that he may not hate them after all: "oh gods these brats actually like…me? Me? Fuck what the hell do I do?! This is why no one should trust me with kids Aghhhhh!! Still think they're brats tho :( but they're my brats >:) "

He'd be like Shifu from Kung Fu Panda as a shizun. He's strict, harsh as hell and shows no mercy when training, coz becoming a cultivator/martial artist is fucking hard and requires alot of discipline anyway. So he really is doing his best to make sure his disciples come out on top. Shen Jiu is a prideful person by nature, it's just that his disciples are his pride. He's always there for them when they need him, and he will make sure that none of his disciples will ever have to go through anything he has. He wants to be the reliable adult that his disciples seek out. (He will never let it be known that he seeks his disciples' approval and validation as much as they seek his.)

Really fucking specific but idgaf. My social teacher brought chocolate bars to class and gave them out one time. After a few moments she asked if everyone was enjoying themselves. After she heard us agree she went on a lesson about slave labour and the production of goods in underdeveloped countries. Shen Jiu. Would do this. Because he’s a madman.

And Binghe. He would still end up a little unhinged. Like sure being under a master that abuses you will fuck you up one way but if you had a guardian who will start genocides and watch cities burn for you… It does things.

Shen Jiu is morally ambiguous as fuck and that rubs off onto his disciples. He is still a terrible role model, but his kids wouldn't trade him for the world:)

Would be the type that gives 5 yr olds knives for birthdays, bc he had a shit ton of them hidden away on his person when he was that age and knew how to use them when he was on the streets.

“What? It's an appropriate gift! The kid needs to have smt to protect herself! Yeah I know she didn’t grow up on the streets so what? No need to rub it in. Ok fine! I’ll teach her then just shut up. Let’s go Yan-er, some people just don’t appreciate the value of giving practical gifts WAIT PUT THAT DOWN-”

Is this lowkey self indulgent? Yes. Do I particularly care? No. I just want my favourite blorbos to be happy, is that too much to ask for? My Roman Empire is that SJ probably could've been a crazy good shizun if he had a chance to heal. If you've read The Hidden Flower, then you know exactly what I mean.

I already made a post with all of the soft BingJiu fics ik. I could literally make another one rn where they're just chilling platonically, or even as an adoptive family bc I have no chill like that and read all the SJ fics there is to read.

It's already summer and all I have going for me is my job rn and I am sooooo close to going through all nearly 400 pages under the SJ tag coz I simply can.

[districtfourmermaid]

It's the Nut!

I understand Gale's rage. I know it. I know that when Gale says they could block even the train tunnel, he's getting carried away, thinking only of what the Capitol did to District 12. What these people working in the Nut facilitated. Katniss knows it, too.

"'We watched children burn to death, and there was nothing we could do!' I have to close my eyes a minute, as the image rips through me. It has the desired effect. I want everyone in that mountain dead."

Katniss pulls back for a moment, because she's also from 12, and she likens the Nut to a coal mine. But who knows better than Gale what that would feel like? His dad died in the mines just like hers. She could barely stomach the annual field trip down there and hates the thought of him working there. But he worked there. He knows exactly what the avalanche would inflict on the people. He knows very well how it will feel. And he says that if he were a spy in the Nut, he'd say "bring on the avalanches," because he's committed to the cause and knows the rebels will never win without taking the Nut and District 2. Katniss would do it, too, be willing to die for the rebels if she were in the Nut. There are only a "handful" of spies, after all.

Boggs, of course, is steadier and suggests leaving the train tunnel open for surrenders. Gale is usually very reasonable, so this moment is odd for him. Who doesn't say things worse than they mean in fits of rage? After what he saw in 12, saving all those people and it still not being nearly enough, he's not out of line. But he may be slightly blinded by that rage. Once he calms down somewhat, even he sees that leaving the tunnel is right. He's just cautious, saying they should be armed, because those "surrendering" surely will be. And he's right about that, too (Katniss's spleen might want to weigh in).

At the end of the day, though, the Nut is a military base. It's the key to 2, which is the last stop before the Capitol. People are dying across Panem every day. The Capitol wants a ceasefire? No! The fire will cease when the people are free!And for that to happen, the Nut must be cracked. I do not have sympathy for the workers in the Nut who are not rebel spies. Those from either 2 or the Capitol who are genuinely fighting to keep the Capitol in power. They chose their side.

When talking with Beetee, Gale said they're using the same rulebook Snow used when hijacking Peeta. That would be the same one used when 12 or the hospital in 8 were bombed. But then, he's not. This is no where near as bad as what the Capitol has done. District 12 hadn't even officially rebelled yet. They never got the chance. The Capitol bombed a whole District of poor, malnourished, overworked, heavily policed regular people and followed up their bombing of 8 with hitting their hospital. I will never understand why people look down on Gale for suggesting violence may be required against a military base that launches hovercraft to go bomb more Districts.

After the bombing of the hospital on District 8: "I remember all those years in the woods, listening to Gale rant against the Capitol. Me, not paying close attention. Wondering why he even bothered to dissect its motives. Why thinking like our enemy would ever matter. Clearly, it would have mattered today. When Gale questioned the existence of the hospital, he was not thinking of disease, but this. Because he never underestimates the cruelty of those we face."

Katniss and everyone else needs to remember this. The Capitol's cruelty and the lengths to which Snow is willing to go to retain power know no bounds. There can be no progress without taking action, and holding back because you don't want to be too mean to an enemy who thinks of you as lower than dirt does not work.

[crowandthefics]

Little Valentina Diaz fic!

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

Valentina sat quietly while some of the older campers talked about the titan war. Valentina had been in the Titan army but came back to camp after the war. People had basically forgotten she was the enemy once.

She wasn’t going to say anything till Connor said: “honestly how could someone be so stupid to join Kronos?” It was just a playful off hand comment, Connor hadn’t even known Valentina was in the Titan army but it pissed her off.

“Oh my gods Connor could you be any more insensitive? That was a massacre!” She exclaimed.

“Well yeah I know, so many people from camp ha-“ Connor didn’t get to finish before Valentina snapped at him.

“16. 16 from camp half blood died. Hundreds of demigods in the titan army were murdered. When I say it was a massacre I don’t mean against camp. Does anyone here actually understand the half blood who were in the TA?? You all claim to understand our frustration but I don’t think any of you do! Our dead hardly got funeral rites. Do you remember Ethan nakamura? No one wanted to give him funeral rites and he surrendered! He was Lucky drew was so insistent. Every one else got whatever rites living ex-TA members could make on the battle field. I don’t want to hear you talk about the Titan army ever fucking again.” Valentina was mad. She hardly gave the rest of the circle time to respond before storming off.

But people quickly learned not to insult the half bloods of the Titans army lest Valentina found out. And other ex-TA members knew she wouldn’t let them be disrespected.

Drew and Valentina may not be close or ever talk very much but they are a terrifying duo to see mad. A good reminder as well not to underestimate Aphrodite kids.

“Be nice around Valentina Diaz” becomes common advice to new campers.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

I headcannon Valentina as ex-TA if it wasn’t obvious!

Drew was never in the ta in my writing, but she does defend its half blood (mostly Ethan)

Uhh tell me what you think! I wanna hear anything you got as long as you’re not rude!

[rai-nie]

are there still beautiful things?

a/n: hi this is my first post plz enjoy :) lmk if there's a name not y/n or n/n because i originally wrote this with an oc

pairing: f!reader x jj maybank

warnings: jj's dad, violence, swearing, argument, abuse, hurt/comfort, angsty, fluff at the end i swear

“We can’t be together, y/n. You’ll end up getting hurt.” 

“I’m with you because I choose to be. Don’t you have trust in us?” 

During all the reckless Pogue adventures, Y/n never got hurt. Never. Until now. It wasn’t exactly a group mission, though. JJ had gone to his father’s house to tell him about the restitution money and he didn’t want anyone tagging along. He didn’t want his friends risking their safety for his well-being. But, he underestimated his girlfriend. She was determined to better JJ’s life, no matter what it meant. 

When Y/n reached Luke Maybank’s home, she could hear the sounds of arguing. The girl began running towards the commotion. Once the back porch came into view, she could see JJ and Luke shouting. Luckily, nothing physical yet. 

“JJ!” She shouted. Definitely a bad decision. Both turned their heads toward her and she stopped dead in her tracks. JJ could see his father start to make a move toward Y/n and his heart dropped to his stomach. JJ quickly moved to block Luke. 

“Who is this, your girlfriend? Does she know what a piece of shit you are? Huh?” Luke was up in JJ’s face at this point, the younger of the two determined to keep a straight face the entire time. 

“Who am I kidding, she’s probably just as worthless as you are.” Luke scoffed. He stormed off of the porch, down to Y/n. She tried to back up, but Luke was quicker. He grabbed her by the wrist, pressing down so tightly she began to lose feeling in her fingers. JJ’s face hardened, if that was even possible, at the sight of his father hurting his girlfriend. Y/n struggled against Luke’s grip to no avail. The man got up in her face, the smell of alcohol more present than she’d ever experienced. 

“Let me go!” She yelled. 

“Shut up! Shut up, you bitch!” Luke’s anger got ahold of him, landing a right hook on Y/n's face, then pinning her to the ground. His hands weren’t around her neck for long before JJ kicked him off of her. Y/n was recovering while JJ fixed the problem. 

The boy contemplated ending it for good, but knew that his life would end too. JJ’s mood quickly changed when he saw Y/n on the ground, cradling her wrist. 

“Hey, hey. Let me see.” JJ took her wrist in his hands, his touch as light as a feather. It was red, and Y/n winced whenever she rotated it. 

“It’ll be bruised, but you’re okay. How’s your neck?” Y/n tilted her head back slightly so JJ could get a better look. At the sight of the red line, JJ could feel his heart break into a thousand pieces. He did everything he could to protect Y/n, and it failed. He failed. JJ stood back up, turning his back to Y/n so she didn’t see the tears. 

“JJ?” She stood, reaching to put a hand on his back, but he flinched. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m okay. Let’s just go back to John B’s, alright? We both need sleep.” JJ stayed silent, but agreed. He took Y/n's good hand and they walked to his bike.

The chateau was empty when the two arrived, which was beginning to be a normal occurrence. Y/n began to drag JJ into the bathroom to clean his wounds, but the boy insisted they just go to sleep. 

. . . 

When Y/n woke up the next morning, JJ wasn’t in the bed next to her. She listened for a moment, hearing the tab of a beer can open on the porch. Y/n climbed out of bed, sliding on some sandals before joining JJ on the porch. 

“Hey,” her voice was hoarse as she rubbed his back. “How’d you sleep?” JJ didn’t say anything, just shrugged. It was obvious that something was bothering him.

“J, what’s going on? You’ve been acting weird since yesterday. You know you can talk to me.” 

“Yeah, N/n. I know that, and I’m so grateful to have you, okay? It’s just..”

“Just what?” 

“I’ve been thinking, and I don’t think we should be together anymore.” 

Y/n's breath hitched. 

“What? Why? Did I do something? If I did something, please let me know because I can fix it, okay?” 

“N/n, you didn’t do anything. In fact, it’s what I didn’t do.”

Y/n tilted her head in question. 

“I couldn’t save you, okay?! I tried and tried but he got to you too, and if we stay together, you could get hurt again, or worse, and I can’t handle that, N/n! I can’t live knowing I’m putting you in danger.” 

Y/n's lip quivered and tears welled in her eyes. She couldn’t believe that the boy she loved so much thought he was the one who hurt her. JJ looked at her, two pairs of teary eyes meeting each other. JJ sighed, turning his back and rubbing his neck. 

“JJ, I am with you through everything. That is what I signed up for when I agreed to this relationship. I do not care who your father is. I do not care what shit I have to put myself through to see you alive and well. I love you and I always will. I am with you because I choose to be. Don’t you believe in us? No matter what shit life throws our way.” Tears were flowing freely down both of their faces now and Y/n's voice was cracking even more. “I do not care that I got hurt, because I am fine.” All JJ could see were the marks on her wrist and neck as he tried to listen to her words. He wanted to believe her, and Y/n could see he was trying. 

“What…What if you get hurt again? What do I do then, N/n?” His voice cracked and it broke Y/n's heart. 

“I don’t know, J, because it's hypothetical. I don’t know what’s going to happen to us in the future, but I do know I want to be with you through it all.” 

JJ was silent for a moment before he stepped forward and wrapped his arms lightly around her neck. Y/n sighed in relief and wrapped her arms strongly around his waist. JJ held her as if it was the last time he ever would, but he prayed to whatever god there was that it wouldn’t be.

[jackoshadows]

Listening to AFfC and it's stands out how characters like Jon, Arya and Bran are considered unimportant or thought of as dead and gone and simply underestimated in a wider sense by the houses and characters of the South.

The Lannisters think Arya, Bran and Rickon dead and most don't think Jon Snow important as he's a bastard Lord Commander. Jaime does not even mention Jon by name and only advises the Blackfish that he can go to the Wall where Ned's bastard is LC.

Tyrion seems to have forgotten about his bff at the Wall and decides to not go there because of the likes of Slynt and Thorne. The Tyrells/Greyjoys/Martells make no mention of him or the other Starks.

Brienne also never mentions Jon by name - just refers to him once as the bastard half brother at the Wall where Sansa could have gone to and then abandons that prospect as the Wall is too far off and a 'bleak and bitter place'.

Jaime thinks that Arya is dead and sends Brienne off to get Sansa. Brienne is not actively looking for Arya. Even the almost omniscient Littlefinger has no idea that Arya, Bran and Rickon are alive and can throw a spanner in the works - how would he? Or that Robb has a decree naming Jon Snow KITN and Lord of Winterfell - unless one of the signatories and witnesses blabbed about the decree I don't see how LF can know about this.

This is interesting considering Jon Snow is actively helping Stannis against Lannister allies in the North and even rallies an army to go attack the Boltons. Surprisingly, it's only Cersei who considers Jon Snow a legitimate threat - kudos to her!

Jon Snow only comes to Cersei's attention because of Stannis at the Wall, however, she does consider him a threat as Ned Stark's son. Of course, she then hatches a wild plan at Qyburn's instigation to send some men all the way to the Wall to assassinate Lord Snow. Which, considering what does end up happening to Jon, may not have been such a bad plan after all lol.

It's also a demonstration of Cersei's narrow focus on the Starks where she takes the threat of Jon Snow seriously, while shrugging off the threat from the East - Dany and her dragons.

“One last thing, Your Grace,” said Aurane Waters, in an apologetic tone. “I hesitate to take up the council’s time with trifles, but there has been some queer talk heard along the docks of late. Sailors from the east. They speak of dragons .. .” “. . . and manticores, no doubt, and bearded snarks?” Cersei chuckled. “Come back to me when you hear talk of dwarfs, my lord.” She stood, to signal that the meeting was at an end. - Cersei, AFfC.

Considering that Tyrion will be joining up with Daenerys, Cersei is in for a shock and not too pleased when next she hears of the dragons...

One of the things I am looking forward to reading in the next couple of books if it ever comes out is the reactions from the characters down south to a KITN Jon Snow, or KITN Rickon Stark and Arya Stark at the head of a wolf army and Daenerys landing on Westeros with her dragons. Bran's arc of manipulating time and events or understanding the threat of the Others is going to remain secretive/unknown for some time yet is what I am guessing.

[all-eyes-lead-to-the-truth]

All Eyes Lead to the Truth | Tunguska (4x08)

Rats are survivors. Natural born killers who do the work of destructors; by no means impervious, but they’ll attack the weak, anything that stands in their way. They adapt and survive.

Alex Krycek respects that. Maybe it’s why Mulder’s “insult” had felt like a compliment. 

Yeah, he’s learned to live like the rats. 

And yeah, Mulder. He’s had little trouble adapting. 

The relentless agent sits across from him now in this miserable cell, picking at the underside of his boot. Conversation doesn’t really work for them. They’ve been through enough shit together; you’d think he’s earned an iota of trust.

“So,” Alex ventures. “We gonna die here?”

Mulder glowers. “If we ever do get out, I’m gonna kill you myself, Krycek.”

Alex smirks. “I don’t think that’s true.”

“Oh, no?”

“You’ve had a hundred opportunities. You haven’t taken any of them.”

Mulder’s eyes narrow. He says nothing. Spooky Mulder would never deny the truth.

They sit, the faint scratching of roaches and vermin echoing around the cell. Perhaps silence is preferable, but Alex can’t help himself. He wants the upper hand. He needs the upper hand. 

And he knows exactly how to get it.

“Whaddya think Scully’s up to?” he asks. Mulder’s eyes dart towards him, then away again. Here we go. As expected, Agent Scully is his trigger. Adapt, Alex. 

“Scully, Scully, Scully,” he purrs. “I remember when I met her. She could barely look at me. Like our partnership personally offended her.” He looks at Mulder, trying to make eye contact. “Most agents get a partner or two in their career. Maybe it works out, maybe it doesn’t. They move on. Not you two, though.”

His cellmate remains silent, but now wears  a searing glare. 

“We’re gonna die here anyway, Mulder, so you may as well confess. What’s she like, you know… in the sack? Carpet match the drapes?”

If looks could kill, Alex would be a dead man. He thrives off this, off making Mulder squirm. It’s just so fucking easy.

Sometimes he wonders how things would be if he’d just join forces with Mulder. He’s the obvious choice for an ally, morality-wise. But morality isn’t the medium with which Alex paints. He isn’t like Mulder. And anyway, there’s something he relishes more than his admiration of the man: the power Alex wields over him. 

Like right now.

Mulder clenches his jaw and looks away, unable to meet Alex’s eye. Once again, his honesty betrays him.

“Are you serious?” Alex’s eyes go wide. He was absolutely certain they were sleeping together. Talk about an X-File. “Shit. You two really had me fooled.”

His incredulity aside, this approach isn’t working. He needs to take a different route to get a rise out of Mulder. Something worse. 

“You know,” Alex says, lowering his voice. “Back when she was abducted, I suggested just… killing her.” Mulder bristles. “They underestimated your determination, but I never did. I warned them you’d never stop. They didn’t listen.”

A loud clang comes from somewhere in the gulag. A horrific scream. 

“Guess there’s still time,” Alex shrugs. “They don’t make the same mistake twice.”

That does it. Mulder lurches across the cell and wraps his hands around Alex’s neck for the second time today. There’s rage in his eyes, a primal savagery. And Alex likes it. He isn’t even sure why he does this, why he wants it. Maybe it’s the kind of thing he needs to feel alive. To feel like he isn't alone in the dark.

Like he does on occasion, he thinks of the missile silo. Mulder would probably like that story. But he doesn’t seem to be in the mood for talk. His arm is jammed beneath Alex’s chin, pinning him against the wall. He can feel his airway closing, but he knows it won’t last. Mulder will let him go. 

“Don’t ever say her name to me again,” Mulder seethes. For a wild moment it feels like they might kiss, and it’s not the first time he’s felt that way. There's an undeniable energy between them. Maybe it’s the knowledge there’s no one on the planet he hates more. Maybe Mulder’s passion is contagious. 

Maybe they’re both just animals.

As expected, Mulder lets him go with a ceaseless penetrating glare. Their little game is over for now; at least, until they play another one. 

They sit on opposite sides of the cell for hours until dinner is served. He and Mulder spit out the roach-infested soup in temporary camaraderie, but then a guard makes his way inside, and Alex takes his shot. He’s got one play left and he’s going to use it, no matter the cost.

The guard hesitates. Mulder asks for a translation, understandably concerned. Alex replies honestly: “That I want to see his supervisor.”

If he doesn’t want to see you, you’ll be accountable, the guard replies in Russian. He appears taken aback, unaccustomed to a prisoner's authoritative tone. 

I’ll be accountable, Alex insists. Mulder dumbly looks back and forth between them. 

The guard acquiesces, and opens the door. Freedom lies ahead if he can play this correctly, if he can just find one more dark pipeline to squeeze through. Maybe he’ll get out of this shithole alive after all. 

He’s brought before the head honcho and sings like a canary. The Americans are working on their own vaccine; he’s even got the name of the head doctor. He mentions an old comrade, Vasily Peskow. That gets their attention. 

Alex Krycek has been no stranger to loyalty. But as he betrays the country he genuinely loves, he realizes the truth: his loyalty is only to himself. 

As he’s escorted from the gulag, he’s taken past Mulder’s cell again. He peers inside where his adversary awaits whatever fate Alex’s defection has unleashed. There’s a slight twinge of regret inside him, but it quickly passes. 

He steps outside as the chilled air of Tunguska slaps him in the face. Beneath him, a rat scampers by, disappearing into the woodwork.

Read the rest of All Eyes Lead to the Truth on Archive of Our Own

@admiralty-xfd

[charmquarkstrangequark]

Lucy Carlyle: Impact of her Early Life

As part of the general Lockwood & Co Brainrot that I suffer from, I spend a lot of time thinking about the characters, their motivations, and what they words and actions reveal about themselves, and have been wanting to make some posts about their characterization. Disclaimer: I have exactly zero qualifications to make these assumptions.

Obviously, Book!Lucy and Show!Lucy have some differences. I think Book!Lucy keeps a lot more to herself, but as she's the narrator, we get to know what she's thinking from the inside. Also, there's been some discussion about whether Lucy is an "unreliable narrator" (I have even referred to her that way myself), but it may be more due to how our perception of events is colored by our own emotions and memories. Lucy is, I think, big on self-denial, at least when it comes to admitting her emotions and weaknesses to herself and others. She often relates events that must have had a deep influence on her persona without outright stating how these events shaped her. This is directly due to her early life and experiences.

So what do we know about her early life? She was born to a working class family in a small town in North England ("slate roofs and stone walls"), and Lucy mentions she never remembers her father (who died when she was 6) ever calling her by name. Imagine your parent never actually saying your name; how insignificant would you feel? Both Lucy's parents in the books were big on physical punishment for her and her 6 older sisters; other than punishing them, the girls were mostly ignored. Lucy mentions that her Talent first became known to others when she was 6 years old (incidentally the same age at which Lockwood's appeared), although she later says she can remember hearing voices whispering in the streets after curfew as a "kid in my crib". Her mother waited impatiently until she was 8, old enough to be pulled out of school and employed at Jacobs & Co. Again, her only value is as a source of income.

Book!Lucy was proud to be an agent, but it seems her employer, Jacobs, should not have held the position he did. He was, apparently, the only researcher in his Agency, and he did a piss poor job of it judging by the number of child agents who die on his watch. However, even he could see Lucy's extraordinary Talent, and she is promoted twice as fast her peers, achieving her third grade by age 11. This doesn't, however, seem to add to her self-esteem in any appreciable way. She obviously cared deeply for her fellow agents; she describes spending all of her free time with them and rarely seeing her family. Their loss would have to have affected her deeply. But after listing their names, she says, simply, "They're all dead now."

She characterizes herself as unattractive (a clear departure from Show!Lucy played by the undeniably gorgeous Ruby Stokes). Lucy mentions, "as my mother once said, "Prettiness wasn't my profession." She also states that she was quick on her feet but not especially skilled with a rapier. It may be possible that Lucy is prettier than she realizes, or that she has charisma or grows into her looks; she certainly catches the attention of her subsequent employer, Lockwood.

So how does her childhood experience shape Lucy? She underestimates herself and her skills. She sees mostly her own weaknesses and deficiencies. This shouldn't be unexpected when she has grown up with no one who values her for anything except a powerful Talent and a possible source of income. Her self-doubt causes her to be critical of others, looking to see if they are better than how she perceives herself, or if she is the stronger candidate in any area. Being rejected by her father and mother as a young child, and by six agencies in seven days upon arriving in London can't help. She also has a deep desire to be loved and valued (who wouldn't?). As she's only around 13 when she sneaks away from home to go to London, I think her reactions and insecurities are very believable.

Lucy is an exceptional Listener; even she is willing to admit that. It means that she lives in a strange kind of reality, always responding to a wealth of input that isn't readily available to anyone else. But she doubts her own ability to make the right choice based on the information she has. She blames herself for not picking up anything concrete to prevent the deaths of her teammates at Wythburn Mill.

She describes herself as taking orders well and working well as part of a team, but this really underscores her doubts in her ability to choose correctly in dangerous situations. Even her initial outburst with George is fueled by embarrassment rather than self-confidence. Early in the books, she is reluctant to challenge Lockwood on anything in the field, and unable to see where others respect or admire her. These insecurities will cause her to raise Lockwood up on a pedestal and look down on George. Perhaps she sees in George aspects of herself she doesn't like, or prefers Lockwood's aloof treatment of difficult subjects over George's razor sharp wit and perceptiveness.

She's a complex and relatable character, both brave in battle and insecure in her relationships. She desperately wants love and acceptance, but can't offer either to herself. She's only sure of her Talent, and because of this, is drawn to cross the veil of life to engage and empathize with the dead rather than take the risk of fully immersing herself in life. These traits will fuel her exponential growth in her abilities, but also put herself and those she loves at risk, until she is able to finally accept herself for who she is: strong, weak, brave, Talented, perceptive, afraid and also very capable, loving, and loveable, and loved.