#she is really going through the ringer with all the horrors

[enek-jokanen]

Okay, so....

The alchemy in TMAGP is pretty well established by this point - especially with our Full-Metal-Alchemist Gravity-Boy and his doggo and Celia and Colin's deranged little ramblings.

So. Idea:

-The Alchemy seems to be like, the base 'magic' system in this world if you want to call it that.

-The Fear(TM) part of things almost seems to come secondarily to all this magic ink and odd object stuff going on.

-In fact, most of the statements mostly focus on desire, rather than Fear(TM) as we saw with Ink5soul in ep. 20.

-Now, Celia came into TMAGP most likely through some multiverse shenanigans. We last saw that happen at the end of TMA. With the fears.

Now, considering all this,

-'Hard Reset' seemed to purely focus on alchemy - I wasn't really getting Fear(TM) vibes from it, so to speak.

-The 'Protocol' seemed to purely focus on destroying 'forbidden alchemy', so to speak. Not anything Fear(TM) related.

-The main thing in that episode seemed to be Isaac's pursuit of that odd, messed up alchemy.

This leads me to think that the Fears(TM) were not originally part of the TMAGP universe.

BUT sometime recently, through multiverse happenings, they came in and messed up the alchemy or the entities that provide the alchemy in the TMAGP universe.

In turn, I think this may explain why the OIAR works in the way that it does. Stopping a world-ending scenario where we all go mad or something - as Colin said - now no longer relies on stopping alchemical experiments if the Fears(TM) and the alchemy have merged. No, you would have to use 'Mercury' or 'Sulfur' avatars to cause fear. This is also why they would gather statements - keeping tally of how much Fear(TM) of a particular type has been caused so they know which external to comission to do something next for it all tk balance out.

Now, this does leave a few loose ends:

-Firstly, what is the purpose of the Magnus Institute? Was it just using alchemy for bad things? Was it trying to drag the Fears(TM) into this world using the 'catalysts', trying to do so with people that may have been avatars in a world with the fears? (This could fit into why they have that statement seen in 'saved copy', perhaps) but I simply do not know.

-What about Freddie? Are they Jon, Martin, Jonah as many people seem to think? Are they the ones watching or is that just the British Government? Did they come over with the Fears - and if so, why did their voices only appear so recently? Are they good beans or evil beans? Again, I have no idea what to make of it. I think at this point we may not know enough.

-What about Klaus? Lena tried to kill him for some reason - and he did also have some tattoos if I remember correctly. What is up with that? We've heard of him like twice but like-?

So yeah. Just some thoughts after the season 1 finale. Feel free to add or disagree regarding my deranged little rant.

Now it's time to go sit in a cupboard and drink capri-suns till season 2 comes out.

[centaurianthropology]

Late to the party for ‘Candela Obscura’ chapter 2, but wow. WOW. This is what I was hoping for from this series. I really enjoyed Chapter 1, but it was goofy spooky, more Haunted Mansion than real visceral horror. And that was fun! That was great! Robbie Daymond was especially great at grasping what being a cosmic horror protagonist was (goofy fun right up until he drilled a hole in his head to “expand his mind”), and Laura was fantastically weird. But Matt is, at his heart, an adventure GM. He’s the GM who wants you to walk away from the table feeling empowered and awesome. And that is why he’s such a great GM for D&D, but also shoots him in the foot for being a horror GM. Because horror at the table is about disempowerment. It’s about the players all buying in to not only being screwed over by the story, but to screwing themselves over with the story. It’s a nobody-gets-out-okay mentality. It’s the bloody grin through the damage as you face down a glorious no-win scenario.

And Spenser Starke is that sort of GM. He checks in with everyone. He makes sure that the pain is still fun. But he is going to put his players through the ringer. And his players are going to put THEMSELVES through the ringer. There are still fun and goofy moments. Brennan Lee Mulligan really exemplifies that type of play: he is goofy and funny and joking right up until his voice goes flat and dead and he says something like “It had been months since I saw Marion last. All my brothers were already dead, but I didn’t know it yet.” and takes a dramatic plunge into the horrors of war. Luis Carazo is one of the best in the business at dramatic improv, and throws himself into his RP fully, not afraid to bring himself to tears at the table. Travis and Marisha are fantastic as ever. And Zerah Fazal is such a fantastic new addition to the TTRPG space. She really dives in and embodies Dr. Basar, particularly as tie after tie to her old life are cut away. And Spenser is clearly dedicated to putting them all into that headspace. Into taking all those backstory characters and cutting them down. Not wantonly, but in a necessary way to make them all deeply unsafe.

And that’s the crux of personal horror at a table: a GM who understands what will horrify and make their players safely unsafe. It’s really digging into that part of fiction that lets you explore dangerous topics in a controlled way. It’s Luis screaming “THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!” and sobbing, and Spenser checking in to make sure he’s still good, and Luis laughing through the tears and saying “Absolutely” because this is what horror is for: it’s for this catharsis. For digging into wounds and then cauterizing them in a place where you are cared for and safe, but allowing yourself not to feel safe for a while.

This is such good horror. Because it’s psychological and personal, and everyone came to the table ready to dig into that.

Anyway, just wanted to say that I am LOVING chapter 2.

[dangermousie]

Farscape rewatch: Look at the Princess Part 2, 2x12

I just love this shot of Crichton:

Farscape summed up:

This ep has one of my favorite scenes: Crichton in space, out-crazing Scorpius, and rescuing himself through sheer insanity. He goes full-on unhinged, using the fact that yes, he is willing to die rather than submit, than be tortured and experimented on.

He takes this and runs with it...and it’s probably the most unhinged we’ve seen him so far tho not as unhinged as he’s going to get and just...

The whole scene is miles more unhinged than my few caps can do it justice but also, only Farscape can get away with rotating between dark despair and pure unhinged hilarity at the speed of light - I mean here is John forcing Braca’s gun towards his right hand yelling “kill my sex life!” UMMM god this show!

PS They are literally gonna have this as ep title later.

Also, yet another instance where dark humor is his lifeline and coping/defense  mechanism. He never loses it, this is how he keeps semi-sane.

This is the first time he hears the chip, isn’t it? That scene is amazing, and heroic, and all sorts of heart-breaking. Because it saves him now but also this is a small appetizer of what it will be like for John to have the voice of his torturer control him, to remove volition. Crichton’s will is extreme, can-move-mountains kind of quality and the chip will strip it from him, just as it will force him to go against all his instincts and feelings and it’s going to be a horror.

Of course, what Scorpius, who has notably recognized John as another individual by now, even if that recognition is in shape of wanting to triumph over him, it’s still a step up from ‘lab rat’ view of the rest of the world, what Scorpius isn’t reckoning with, yet, that Crichton would rather die, literally, than surrender himself, so he better find some other lever, because threatening his life would never work. He eventually does, in s4, Aeryn, and I always found it telling that Grayza, overall nowhere near as brilliant as Scorpius, figures that lever out faster because Scorpius is hampered by his considering any genuine emotion as not worthy of consideration.

But yeah, this really does put Crichton through a ringer and I really love that his falling apart does not make him weak, it makes him human and makes any triumph all the more worthy.

I find myself both understanding Aeryn in this ep, and being very frustrated by her. She wants all these things from Crichton, but she won’t give an inch, or a hint, or a hope in return. The only reason this marriage bugs her is because she loves him because from every other vantage point, it’s a good good thing, and it’s not as if she is from species which believes you can’t marry without romantic love. And Crichton can fight even when broken, as he proves over and over, but he needs something to fight for and now he doesn’t have anything and she is not willing to provide it. The scene where he wants something - some hint that she will return his feelings and she can’t give it to him due to her own demons gets me. He is at a low point and he has nothing to cling to and she can’t give him that something because she herself is not sure she can survive giving any piece of her heart away.

I do love her ‘diplomacy’ with Katralla and Jenovia:

And the awesome putdown line to Casanova guy of ‘it’s not you, it’s me. I don’t like you.’ Heh.

But she didn’t even show up at the wedding. Oh Aeryn. So brave in battle, so good at running away emotionally. And D’Argo is being an awesome friend in this one - willing to back up John in whatever,no agendas (unlike Rygel and Aeryn, tho those two have them for different reasons) and his ‘good news/bad news’ cracks is one of my fave things ever but also really does leave John on a happy note going into a crazy situation:

and John bitchslapping Prince Clavor and the story with Zhaan and Moya and Pilot that makes me cry in the sheer defenseless peace and resignation of the ship and pilot and righteous rage of Zhaan.

In conclusion. Yeah, it’s Farscape all right.

[constellaj]

hey do u have some kind of list of the major variants in your multiverse au? It’s super cool and I really like it :3 (btw I am the original anon who asked you about it and the anon who was praising your Gwen, Courtney and heather art lol. just call me spiral anon)

also do u have any like, horror variants. Not horror necessarily, more so just tragic ones (the sillies have been through the trenches). Thanks :D

-🌀

OOH I've been meaning to get a list of my favorite multiverse guys together and this is the perfect excuse!! thank you spiranon!! I tried to trim this wall of text down best I could but it's SO LONG. buckle up!! as always mega thanks to @crystalfloe for developing and brainworming these fellas with me!!

I'll divide them up by the original character, and clarify their pseudonym; because the 'verse is populated with the same characters over and over, many end up choosing pseudos for themselves that they go by! I'll also elaborate on the ones that have some particularly horrifying aspects, but off the top of my head some who have really been through the ringer are ZombieMike (haven't given him a pseudo yet), Two-Inches-Taller Trent, Indigo (Jose), Mortal Bat Heather and Sea Bridgette. please note that I loooove duncan (and also dunhar) so a lot of these fellas are, well... dunhar :)

LOTS of Duncans! Let's get started! (duncans pictured above are not any real multiverse duncans) Zero rules the Duncan Underground with an iron fist. He has the power to up the "asshole levels" of any Duncan, spreading it like a zombie virus.

Declan comes from an Actor AU dimension, and has to rapidly adjust to a world where all his coworkers' fictional characters are real. He manages to settle down with a very stereotypical Courtney, and they're so mushy-in-love it's like a Hallmark movie.

Concorde is also known as "Normal Duncan". He's so abnormal that he actually spends most of his time hiding out at Club Vaquero, an underground nightclub exclusive to the multiverse's "weirdos". (more about club vaq later!)

Helix or Badger is also known as "Cop Duncan". He works with some powerful multiversal agencies to lock up and detain dangerous immortals. He has the ability to generate handcuffs and chains out of nowhere. He's an asshole and nobody likes him.

Fox is our newest addition to the multiverse! He's your standard Duncan, except he's accepted his soft side and lets it play out alongside his more punk-rock edgy end. He's got a huge multiversal network, with Bridgettes and DJs bringing him orphaned baby bunnies every other day to look after.

Harolds: Harlow Princeton Orange is the other side of our newest multiverse addition. An actor on Camp TV before he was thrown out into the multiverse, he thinks of everyone as an annoying coworker who won't ever break character.

Samurai Bloodshed is the platonic ideal of a Harold. He ran the Harold Hub-City with his epic anime powers, until he was cursed by a Justin to be... a jock. Stripped of his nerd swag, he's now doomed to wander the multiverse as a mere shell of his former self. (or IS HE???)

Matrix, aka "Punk Harold", is another frequent patron of Club Vaquero. He hangs out in the dirty punk scenes, plays awful music, and causes problems everywhere he goes. The only person who might be able to stand up to him is... Concorde?

Invisible Harold is Harold, but invisible. That's it I just think he's neat.

Alejandros: Siren is, well, a siren. With the help of Sea Bridgette, he flooded the entire Alejandro Resort, and turned it into an underwater, mermaid-filled utopia we're calling Alelantis. Unfortunately, he forgot to return a favor to Sea Bridge, so she turned her curse on him next. Transmuted into a scaly sea monster to match his powers, he ran (swam) away to hide in shame. Fortunately, this didn't perturb Marathon Tyler, who offered him a place to stay...

When most Alejandros were forced out of the resort, Silk fell into an open dimension (Angel Lindsay's dimension). Stranded in the empty wastelands below the angellic clouds, he's resorted to manipulating any other immortal who falls in on accident.

Naturo (yes we know that's not a real spanish word, we just think it sounds cool) controlled nature itself, using that power to enslave dimensions and threaten a total overtake of the multiverse. At least, he used to! His incarnation was killed, and he reset into someone we affectionately call Autistic Alejandro. This incarnation of Ale was carefully monitored since birth to prevent another Naturo situation; monitored by someone who he thought was his brother... (more on Indigo later!)

There's one more important Alejandro to mention! That's the Alejandro who's one half of Vaquero, the owner of Club Vaquero. Vaquero himself is a living fusion between an Alejandro (he's a pairhunter, more on them later!) and a Geoff. Yes this is the alegeoff fusion I've been drawing all along!!!!!! I fucking love Vaq!!!!!

McLeans: Gold lives in a massive penthouse in the bougiest part of the multiverse, living his ideal celebrity life, with his fake and real Gemmys so thoroughly intermixed you can't tell which is which. He's not a bad person per se, but he doesn't quite understand what's wrong with doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants.

Silver (no relation), on the other hand, lives on a cursed island and is a classic whistle-blowing camp counselor. He spends his time recruiting multiversal campers onto his island, to compete in death-defying challenges. Seems nasty, but if you win, you get the ultimate prize; he has the ability to grant wishes.

Meanwhile, out on True Wawanakwa, something very bizarre is happening. Chrises coalesce on this island, all fighting for dominance over a place they're convinced is "theirs". Every week, each Chris's team competes- and the losing Chris has to lose one of his carefully cultivated cast members. One of these Chrises is Lake, a granola-crunching, ADHD-ridden, dadbod-having hippie. Lake never executes members of his team, and instead hides everyone in a mystical glade; everyone on his team actually treats him like a genuine team dad. Just, y'know, be careful when dealing with him on the full moon-- he is a vengeful lake spirit, after all, and sometimes he loses control. I mean, how do you think Geoff turned into that tree? (Don't worry, Bridgette pours a cold one onto the roots once a month to keep him healthy.)

Everyone else! These are characters that we really only have one or two instances of.

Mildred (Blaineley) is a bit of a horror villain shut-in. She keeps pocket dimensions full of contestants and harvests their essence, essentially selling it on the black market.

Carmine (Blaineley) is another horror villain, but more composed and some would argue more sinister. Her facility allegedly works to rehabilitate former dangerous immortals, but what she actually does is manipulate (and if she has to, mind-control via magical contract) them into working for her. Indigo (Jose) had this unfortunate realization after he took her up on her blackmailed job offer. Autistic Ale's original Jose was removed from the dimension and locked in a cryo chamber, while Indigo encouraged Ale to avoid nature, making his own decisions, and saying no. Unfortunately, this turned out to be the exact right mix of traits to allow Carmine access to the nearly omnipotent Naturo...

Rehab Hatchet runs a small island full of lost and confused McLeans. He wields a magical machete that can cut open your mind; it helps him perform reconstructive brain surgery, but it's fucking terrifying.

Shadow Gwen is a loner with a sentient shadow. Well, she used to be a loner, until a mermaid Lindsay and an annoyed Noah show up explaining how she might be the only person who can save Alelantis from crumbling away forever. Will she accept the hero's call??

Sea Bridgette, unfortunately, is paired with an Aftermath Geoff. Pairing is an obscure but dangerous concept. Two magical beings with their auras intertwined; this makes them both more powerful, but also more vulnerable. She's a mutant fish person, and he's at the peak of his asshole arc and only cares about appearances. Siren offered to humiliate her pair on international TV, and she was thrilled-- but then he was a no-show.

Angel Lindsay and Bat Heather are two halves of a coin. Lindsay reincarnated as the only magical immortal in a dimension full of mortals. When Heather betrayed her on the island, Lindsay let out a burst of magic that split the world in two. Above the clouds, in a polished city, all of the "nice people" with beautiful fluffy angel wings. Below, in a wasteland without food or water, all of the "mean people" with dragging, scraggly bat wings. While Lindsay lives her life as Her Hotness Admiral Princess Angel Lindsay, Heather is left to scrape together a band of post-apocalyptic survivors, and try not to think about the friend she lost.

Two-Inches-Taller Trent is a Trent who is slightly taller than the average Trent. He lived a happy mortal life being best friends with Mike-- until he was ejected out into the multiverse, sucked through a rift in spacetime that traumatized both him and Mike. Separated from someone he had nearly paired with, Trent became what's known as a pairhunter; an amorphous, unstable ball of energy that can't survive without their pair.

ZombieMike is the collective term for a set of alters who, at one point, hated each other so much that they physically split apart from each other to form their own dimensions. Mike, Vito, Mal, Manitoba and Svetlana each led their own individual lives (as different supernatural creatures)-- until they were pulled back out into the multiverse, and slammed together into the same body.

Contract Titan Courtney is desperately pretending she's not a pairhunter. So desperately, in fact, that she lures Duncans into signing autonomy-overriding contracts, pretending that her pair never left. If the contract breaks, though, she snaps and enters titan mode...

Mirror (Dawn) works for a containment agency, and has a very skewed view of how to treat people. She genuinely thinks she's doing you a favor, molding you into your ideal self, but in actuality she's warping you and shaving off anything that makes you unique.

Evil Zoey is, well, Evil Zoey. Sent to an immortal jail alongside a Mal who didn't know why he was there, she tried to manipulate him into being even worse... and then the two ended up breaking out together.

Punk Courtney sings lead for the cover band Court's in Session, and she mostly sings about how much she hates everyone. She has a massive following of Gwens... I wonder why?

Marathon Tyler is a recurring Tyler who is just, always out on a jog throughout the multiverse. His jogging route encompasses every location you could possibly imagine. I'm not sure he's ever completed a run.

CONCLUSION: This isn't even a fraction of the guys we have LMAO so sorry for the long list and the long paragraphs. I've cut it down as much as I can so if you have any questions about anyone, please ask-- I probably left something out!

Also feel free to ask if there's any variants of [character] I left off-- I'd be more than happy to ramble some more!!

[claudiablogger]

idk if they are gonna put lestat through the ringer but i would really like if they don’t make loustat endgame or whatever,like it doesn’t make sense,i really don’t want to see louis going back to him lmao i know im delusional but i hope the show will change the otps like anne rice really wanted,she was right hating on loustat lol it should be lesmand+that creep british hag david,and not louis ty

scream i sounded hopeless in my post didn't i. but this is horror and s3 is lestat (loustat) so i have faith. no one hates lestat more than a girl who is him so i do sympathize w yr dreams and wishes but i fear he's the one for louis.....especially now that claudia is dead. like i said louis isn't avoidant and after the second interview he wants to come to terms with his grief and keep paul and claudia in him and lestat is a big part of the latter (everything is abt loustat except loustat which is abt claudia, etc) especially now that louis knows he didn't kill claudia but still has a lot to atone for. like despite it all he still loves lestat and moreover he loves the family they were.....god. i do love and appreciate how this show is engaging w themes of forgiveness and redemption and how neither of these are necessary for louis to embrace her love for lestat, because most of all that love is a part of herself. it's not for his benefit. and as for lestat and his love.....when you've done the worst thing you can to another person--when you've said the unsayable and committed to the unforgivable-- what does it mean to build a love on that horror and that grief.....i have to say im a sucker for a narrative that explores personhood through and beyond monstrosity (<- queen's thief enjoyer) and lestat exemplifies that currently in 2022, mired in grief, wanting louis despite knowing he shouldn't. endgame loustat is less about louis going back to him (lestat has lived in his heart for over a hundred years. you carry him in here ! you slow us down) and more about lestat's growth and louis' acceptance of being seen; they have all of eternity to return to each other. and again what could induce two people to coexist with unimaginable horror and pain that one of them inflicted on the other....how they leave the damage so they never forget the damage.....honoring claudia and honoring louis' love for what they had. there is something to be said for lesmand and finding relief and recognition in the worst versions of each other but lestat could never betray claudia or louis by going back to armand at this point imo. plus well our louis is actually interesting + kind of a freak she needs someone who matches that and we know lestat has the game. sigh. who's david <3

[abimee]

THREE YEARS OF TOCK TUTTI POSTING..... every year i can never describe how much this little lalafell means to me and the joy and wonder she's brought to my life as if i didnt make her purely because i wanted to be a miqote but didnt find any pretty and just slapped together a lalafell and gave her a goofy name.

Tock is so much more in my brain now because my ocs are like my children but also people who appear before me and have their own thoughts and feelings that I get to walk their path with and above all my ocs i think tock tutti has to be my favorite. she is my special girl. she is everything to me. ive been posting about ff14 for 3 years straight now and i dont see that slowing down for at least another 3 years. as long as tock wants to walk forward and see another day i'll walk with her and see her on her way. The world revolves around her in my mind.

I can get sappy here and i know its #justagame and you all heard me hee haw about how much i both absolutely despise ff14 and its fans yet also love it and its fans dearly. how i got to get closer to my best friend through it and be put through the ringer by complete strangers in it. Get mocked and laughed at in it and sat quietly and watched the stars in it with people. I dont like talking about the intricacies of my personal/irl life and even when i talk a lot about myself i dont really try to reveal information about how im living or how i see my future but no matter what goes on out there the fact that i have a little creation of my own i can come to and dress her up or send her on an adventure or go farm with has gotten me through a lot of really dark places and moments in my life that dont even compare to the utter horrors i experienced as a teenager. and I didnt have anything like tock tutti or this game in that time and so had to deal with a lot of that terror and pain by myself with nothing to distract me or help me through it, and its #justagame but its a very important one to me. endwalker especially. I have a deep and unending love for meteion and hermes and getting to meet them and I think even when im old and wrinkly theyre going to sit in my heart as something important to me even then. And tock will too, even when the day comes where I have to let her go and can no longer walk with her.

as that one comment on the youtube upload of dynamis puts it, this game is just really special to me. and I'm glad to have been put on it by my best friend. and I hope for all my bitching and complaining everyone can still see how much it has influenced my art and my creative endevears and can see the love I feel for the characters, the community, and so on. I don't really interact with the community due to a distaste for fandom from some really awful experiences back in the ye old undertale days, so i appreciate the people who follow me and my art and are very kind to me in this community even if i dont follow back/talk to you. I hope I can keep making art you enjoy and that you can see how happy i am here, and above all else to see that tock tutti is a special little oc of mine that I want to share with you all, and I hope you come to love her just as I do. My little sweet pea my melon head my singer of light

[withahappyrefrain]

Ok NICU Nurse anon back again..the sweet baby angel boy that we got a few days ago..not as sweet..he’s so indecisive, meeting close to all the requirements to go home..then he stops breathing randomly..we start doing testing for all kinds of heart and lung things..little stinker decides to be completely fine again..but of course his hands and feet started turning blue (again) he’s basically “healthy” outside of whatever it is he has going on.

Istg that would probably be Emma..like we’ve established she’s a major wire puller and generally not great and dealing with being..alive.. but the ANGST your could have with Baby Floyd and her ALMOST going home, the squad is hyped, there’s a welcome home banner by the door of the Floyd’s house..Bob and Mrs Floyd come home without a baby..yikes ESPECIALLY if she has like a “thing” that’s wrong with her and everyone is trying to figure it out (you could so have some adorable moments of people “talking” to her in her isolette, it’s the cutest shit, the nurses are obsessed when people do it, helps the baby, idk how but it does)

Anyway angsty and fluffy ideas from your friendly neighborhood frazzled nurse 😂🍼

I was actually thinking that! This is probably going to be a two partner, but Baby Emma definitely has several times where they thought they could finally bring her home and then they couldn't.

I can imagine Bob had taken the next week off of work because he thought he'd be at home with his wife and Emma.

Cue the squad's confusion that quickly turns into "shit fuck" horror when Bob shows up to work the day after Emma was supposed to come home :(

Poor Mrs. Bob she is really put through the ringer in this fic (I literally have a note in the outline that says "Abby this is a reader insert why are you torturing yourself")

Oh my God what if it was Luna from he's all that and Jake's wife is also pregnant at the same time so they feel super guilty????.

[rose-and-lemongrass]

Okay I'm trying to be chill about the fact my computers busted and I can't edit sooo here's my favorite horror films I watched in 2023!! So far, at least, I'll update if I find some more great ones in the next month. These are in no particular order.

Talk To Me (2023) LOVED IT. I was genuinely really really stressed while watching it. Honestly give me a character I like and put them through the ringer and I will be invested. I REALLY wanted Riley to make it. I know some people don't like the end but I did. It's a very existential and depressing ending but I thought it was fitting.

Sissy (2022) This is a super super underrated movie. Barely any discussion of it all online. I thought it was incredible; it perfectly nailed what it feels like to be in a social situation you know you don't belong in. I felt called out several times. Cecilia is a really fascinating character too, and I loved the social media aspect.

Creep 2 (2017) I couldn't believe how into this movie I was. It's basically just two really weird characters manipulating each other (with one being way way way more successful than the other) and it's so wild to watch. I liked the first Creep but the relationship here was so fascinating. I almost feel like this movie would have been better as a standalone bc we as the audience know that Aaron is a serial killer. It would be fascinating to be like Sara and not know for sure. Either way though, I loved it, I hope they make a third one.

Terrifier 2 (2022) Dude I LOVED this movie!! Controversial opinion maybe but I thought it was fantastic. Sienna is such an amazing character, Art the Clown was on his A game. I weirdly resonated with the family stuff (i got emotional at points) The special effects were great. I know it has a reputation. And it has earned that reputation. I have found no one I can comfortably show this movie to that I trust isn't going to be horribly traumatized. Which sucks bc when I saw this in theaters I got like. Sexually harassed. And I dont want it to happen when I see the third one. I wish I had a buddy I could take. But regardless every time I watch it I have a blast, and I really wanna make a video discussing this series soon bc I have so many thoughts!!

Halloween (1978) Yeah everyone was right this movie is awesome. I'm totally going to add it to my halloween watchlist every year.

Candyman (1993) Yeah again it's really really good, everyone was right lol. Really dragging my feet on the remake bc honestly this movie is basically perfect.

Cube (1997) I always thought I'd like Cube. And I did. It's really weird and psychological and cool. I watched it like 11 months ago so I don't feel like I have a lot to say right now, but I just remember how much I was invested while watching it and how much I gushed about it after I finished.

Deadstream (2022) Honestly this was most fun I had with a movie all year. I was dying laughing the entire time. I've watched it three times and I sent the opening scene to everyone I know. It's just a very funny and very spot on parody of YouTubers and I love it

Fresh (2022) I don't love the abrupt ending but the rest is basically perfect. The levels of performance during the dinner scene OH MY GOD. And it's a really fun and disturbing exploration of how terrible dating is and I appreciate that a lot.

Hereditary (2015) This movie hurt the entire time and I loved it. Toni Collette's performance is the best I have ever seen, I am actually furious she wasn't nominated. Her screams man, they are haunting. Also really realistic dream dialogue I pegged right away it was a dream bc that's exactly how people talk in my dreams. This is a movie with a lot of layers and something about it resonated with me, especially after the terrible terrible year I had.

Midsommar (2019) I vibed with this one hardcore. I think its just weirdly cathartic to see someone in a bad social situation get accepted while the person who put them in that situation gets rejected. Again because of the terrible year I had. But also its bad that that happens! Like its creepy how easy it is to be taken in by a cult. I also didn't feel the length at all I was very very invested the whole time. My friend Emily absolutely hates this movie though lol

Trick R Treat (2007): I didn't find it scary at all. But I vibed with it. It just FELT like Halloween, and some of the stories really really worked for me. Particularly the werewolf one and the one with the zombie kids.

VHS (2012): This is entirely because of the Amateur Night and 10/31/98 segments. I love those segments to death, I've watched them over and over. I still haven't watched Siren (the full length Amateur Night adaption) but I am so psyched they kept the same actress. She was an absolute star I'm planning on watching it entirely for her.

It Follows (2014) I know I can't keep saying I vibed with these movies but I did. I love the dreamlike quality, the ambiguity, the idea behind the monster is actually one of the most terrifying things I can imagine. Even if you get rid of it there's a chance it'll come back to you so you're never safe. Certain sequences were really really cool. Also one of the best jumpscares of all time in this. Like I don't even like jumpscares, they never get me, but this one did! Also I adore the opening sequence and how it's complete nonsense until you rewatch it and realize what's happening.

Infinity Pool (2023) I went in completely 100% blind. It was a wild ride that's for sure. I said "oh fuck me" full volume at one point if that tells you anything. Honestly I have nothing to say about the plot but the feelings this movie evoked in me were intense. Really good movie for someone who secretly hates themselves and is scared that everyone around them does too, I guess, because it captures that feeling perfectly.

[smokeybrand]

Twincest

I have been absolutely captivated by Rachel Weisz for years. I was introduced to this vision of beauty like most of my peers, way back when the Brendan Fraser Mummy flick dropped. Her Evy Carnahan made that film for me. I mean, it’s excellent on it’s own, so campy and hilarious, but i left that theater back in the waning days of the Nineties, one hundred percent smitten with Weisz. My adoration for her definitely started as a teenage crush but, as time has gone on and my cinematic sensibilities have matured, I've fallen in love with her acting ability. Rachel Weisz never misses, man. Sunshine, Enemy at the Gates, The Constant Gardener, The Fountain, The Lovely Bones, Oz the Great and Powerful, The Lobster, Disobedience, and The Favourite are all favorites but Constantine definitely stands out. I have written at length about my love for that flick. I mean, The Favourite is up there, too, but Constantine is just aces in my book, mostly because Rachel Weisz kills it.

Obviously, whenever she has a project drop, I'm giving it my full attention and her newest just so happens to be an updated re-imagining of one of my favorite Cronenberg blood baths. You know i had to check out Dead Ringers! I’m a fan of horror. Have been for years so Croneneberg’s unique vision of the grotesque and the horrible always rings truer to my eye than, say, Clive Barker. Toss Rachel Weisz into the mix, turn it from a two hour film, into an six episode, prestige mini-series on Amazon, and i am there with bells on!  Listen, I'm not going to spoil anything about this show. Not even a goddamn hint. I am just going to gush about how f*cking amazing this viewing experience was and how i am devastated that it’s over. Off the top, Dead Ringers is excellent. Go watch that sh*t, right now. It’s on Amazon so if you have Prime, you got it. If you don’t, pay the ten dollars or whatever for the month and binge that sh*t because it’s inspired! Weisz delivers one of her best performances, playing dueling twins, Elliot and Beverly Mantle. They’re Gynecologists who do gynecological things, brilliantly, until they don’t. And things get weird. Then they get bloody. Also, even weirder. The rest of the supporting cast really carries their own weight, especially the likes of Jennifer Ehle. Her Rebecca Parker is just so insidiously delightful.

Even more than the performances, i have to praise the exceptionally strong direction. Four people took the helm over these six episodes and the tone maintained a steady feel. You’d never know that someone different directed episodes two through five. But, for me, the cherry on top of this ridiculously fattening cinematic sundae, was the cinematography. God, his show is shot beautifully! Each frame is a goddamn work of art. It reminds me of an Ari Aster film or that old Hannibal show from NBC which was criminally canceled. Dead Ringers is everything you want in a prestige television series. It’s a solidly performed epic, full of violence, sex, intrigue, and the darkest humor this side of Fargo. If the idea of Rachel Weisz playing unhinged and genius identical twins with a penchant for the sapphic isn’t enough to grab your attention, then do it for the bonkers spiral over six episodes. If you’ve seen the original Cronenberg film from the Eighties, you have the broad strokes of the plot but make no mistake; This version of that story is definitely it’s own thing. It’s more “inspired by” than a direct, gender-bent, remake. I positively cherished my time in this world and want to play within it much, much, more. If you have a morning or afternoon to kill, take the time to savor this show. It’s so deliciously perfect!

[smokeybrandreviews]

Twincest

I have been absolutely captivated by Rachel Weisz for years. I was introduced to this vision of beauty like most of my peers, way back when the Brendan Fraser Mummy flick dropped. Her Evy Carnahan made that film for me. I mean, it’s excellent on it’s own, so campy and hilarious, but i left that theater back in the waning days of the Nineties, one hundred percent smitten with Weisz. My adoration for her definitely started as a teenage crush but, as time has gone on and my cinematic sensibilities have matured, I've fallen in love with her acting ability. Rachel Weisz never misses, man. Sunshine, Enemy at the Gates, The Constant Gardener, The Fountain, The Lovely Bones, Oz the Great and Powerful, The Lobster, Disobedience, and The Favourite are all favorites but Constantine definitely stands out. I have written at length about my love for that flick. I mean, The Favourite is up there, too, but Constantine is just aces in my book, mostly because Rachel Weisz kills it.

Obviously, whenever she has a project drop, I'm giving it my full attention and her newest just so happens to be an updated re-imagining of one of my favorite Cronenberg blood baths. You know i had to check out Dead Ringers! I’m a fan of horror. Have been for years so Croneneberg’s unique vision of the grotesque and the horrible always rings truer to my eye than, say, Clive Barker. Toss Rachel Weisz into the mix, turn it from a two hour film, into an six episode, prestige mini-series on Amazon, and i am there with bells on!  Listen, I'm not going to spoil anything about this show. Not even a goddamn hint. I am just going to gush about how f*cking amazing this viewing experience was and how i am devastated that it’s over. Off the top, Dead Ringers is excellent. Go watch that sh*t, right now. It’s on Amazon so if you have Prime, you got it. If you don’t, pay the ten dollars or whatever for the month and binge that sh*t because it’s inspired! Weisz delivers one of her best performances, playing dueling twins, Elliot and Beverly Mantle. They’re Gynecologists who do gynecological things, brilliantly, until they don’t. And things get weird. Then they get bloody. Also, even weirder. The rest of the supporting cast really carries their own weight, especially the likes of Jennifer Ehle. Her Rebecca Parker is just so insidiously delightful.

Even more than the performances, i have to praise the exceptionally strong direction. Four people took the helm over these six episodes and the tone maintained a steady feel. You’d never know that someone different directed episodes two through five. But, for me, the cherry on top of this ridiculously fattening cinematic sundae, was the cinematography. God, his show is shot beautifully! Each frame is a goddamn work of art. It reminds me of an Ari Aster film or that old Hannibal show from NBC which was criminally canceled. Dead Ringers is everything you want in a prestige television series. It’s a solidly performed epic, full of violence, sex, intrigue, and the darkest humor this side of Fargo. If the idea of Rachel Weisz playing unhinged and genius identical twins with a penchant for the sapphic isn’t enough to grab your attention, then do it for the bonkers spiral over six episodes. If you’ve seen the original Cronenberg film from the Eighties, you have the broad strokes of the plot but make no mistake; This version of that story is definitely it’s own thing. It’s more “inspired by” than a direct, gender-bent, remake. I positively cherished my time in this world and want to play within it much, much, more. If you have a morning or afternoon to kill, take the time to savor this show. It’s so deliciously perfect!

[blushinluv]

May God Have Mercy on Marylin Jury (short horror story)

You don’t need to know me. All you need to know is, I know something. Something I shouldn’t. It’s not mine to tell, but I don’t think dead girls complain much. I see through her eyes, I feel that same pain. More than a memory, I live in the moments, every second of every day. I have never been religious, but I pray to whatever will listen. I will tell her story, I know I have to. I don’t know why, but someone has to hear her story.

“Just promise you won't leave me. We’ll stay together, alright?”

“Yeah, whatever. I promise,” she said, as she slid her uniform off. I sat waiting, having already changed out of my work clothes the second my shift ended. Working in the theater had some perks, but it was hardly worth smelling like popcorn butter after. Rachel put perfume over the smell, but I showered after every shift. My hair was still damp as proof.

“Do you need anything before we leave?” she asked, pulling clothes out of her bag to change into. 

“Probably,” I joked, trying to break my own tension, “but it’s my house, so if it’s that important I’ll notice it on my way out.”

She laughed, buttoning the last of four buttons on her jeans. Then she threw on a tight ringer tee-shirt. Previously it had some sort of image, but it had worn away with time leaving it difficult to make out. I dressed nearly the opposite, with a plaid yellow skirt, and matching button up top. A brown belt, with a gold shining buckle and hoop earring to match. We weren’t the type to be friends, really we shouldn’t have been. Work does that, brings different types of people together. 

Rachel hopped off the edge of my bed, grabbing her bag off my floor. She started out my door, forgetting her keys on my nightstand

“Rachel,” I laughed, picking up the keys and following her out, “you won't make it far without these.”

She smiled, took the keys, and continued without a word. 

Her car was parked on the sidewalk in front of my house. I was never good with cars, but I knew for sure it was black. I think it was a cutlass, but I wouldn’t bet on it. She got into the driver's seat, but I didn’t want to get in with her. I did, against my better judgement, and then we left. 

The drive there was odd. Even Main Street had no traffic. Leaving it a graveyard of stoplights, and fallen leaves. Fog, blocking our view from every direction. Growing thicker and thicker the further out of town we went. It should be expected with the carnival, but this felt different. I twiddled my thumbs, pretending as though I had nothing to worry about. 

“You okay?” Rachel asked, not taking her attention off the road. She always pointed out my little quirks, usually noticing if I was feeling off.

“Mhm,” I squeaked, snapping out of whatever trance I was in. I was—obviously—not okay.

Rachel glanced over; she looked so calm and relaxed. “You sure? You look hella tense.”

I didn’t answer. Cool air flooded in through Rachel’s window, letting the smoke off her cigarette float out. Flickering neon lights stopped her before she could push any further. The lights lured us into an open field turned parking lot, like an anglerfish lures its prey. The old beauty, suffocated by the call of humming engines. ‘The Funhouse’ hung upon the gateway. I fumbled for the door handle, unable to muster up the strength to get it open. Vision fuzzy, heart pounding, and a headache I couldn’t seem to shake off. Managing to get the door open, I tumbled out.

 It was too much. The lights. The laughing. The small crowded paths. But a calm smile and happy voice were as good of an act as the rest of the circus. I had never snuck out before, let alone to a place so big. I was my parents ideal child, and I loved it. The way every adult mentioned me as a role model, it kept me going. Like a push I needed to function. Without approval I didn’t have much, which I think is why I came here tonight. 

Rachel grabbed my arm, pulling me towards the ring toss. 

“Would you be careful!” I begged as she pulled me past a girl, nearly sending her flying. Looking at the girl, she was younger, maybe 10 or 11. She looked, odd? There was no other way to describe it. She dressed as though a few years behind style; a pale multicolored striped shirt, and bright blue pants. Phe had a microvision. They stopped making those back in 1981. I know that because Lance can’t help but bring it up whenever he can. That is only three years ago though,  so it’s not too odd she has one. Looking around, everyone looked a few years behind. It was uncanny, but perhaps it was just my wild imagination. Rachel didn’t seem to notice, maybe it was nothing to worry about? Trying to find a good distraction, we played every game in reach. We, of course, won nothing. 

In the carnival, the house always wins.

A blaring announcement shook my attention away from the horse race I had been playing.

“The show will commence in 10 minutes. 10 minutes.” droned the announcer  "Stock up on snacks, carnival trinkets, and secure a prime seat. And, of course, don't forget to enjoy the show." His tone implied that the enjoyment part was optional, but the snacks and trinkets were not. 

Rachel, again grabbed my wrist, pulling me towards the tent. "Come on, we have to get in before the show starts!" My heart was racing, my breath coming in short gasps as I stumbled after her.

Sweat, grease, and other smells didn’t help my nerves. The air inside the tent was too thick to breathe. Without hesitation; Rachel threw herself towards the stairs, dragging me up behind her. Our feet pounded a rhythm against the weathered boards. I held my breath, begging myself not to feel sick. I failed, watery vomit splattered against the wooden steps.

“Woah,” she let go of my hand, covering her own mouth as if she might as well be sick too, “are you sure you're alright?”

I choked on my words, I wasn’t alright. 

“Yeah,” I managed, before continuing up the stairs. It was too late to back out now. We stumbled over feet trying to find open seats, but eventually we found what seemed to be the last two in the tent. As if time itself were waiting for us, the show started. The music swelled, and the crowd erupted into cheers as the lights dimmed like embers in a dying fire pit.  

A single ray guided the eyes of the crowd towards the center of the ring. Then you saw him, one of the many clowns. He could have passed for ordinary, but he had long lost that privilege. A nice white button up shirt, offset by his bright red pants and bow tie to match. His proportions were all wrong, like a child’s drawing of a person. He had prosthetics; they were wooden, all different shades and types. Like he was made purely by the creator's twisted euphoria for torture. 

The effect? Like a trainwreck you couldn’t look away from. 

“Hello boys and girls, welcome to the Funhouse!”  He cheered, arms waving through the air like a weird vintage cartoon character. His tone was weirder, like a voice box. Barely matching his mouth as he spoke. It didn’t fit him. It was pitchy, too high; as if he’d sucked all the helium from a balloon. “Here is where your dreams come true, just wait! You’ll see wonders of the world, mysteries never to be answered, and the most incredible tricks performed by our amazing actors. Now give a round of applause for the dancers!”

He stepped back and the stage darkened, as if he were the light keeping it lit. As if they had been there the whole time, they began their dance. Like shining dots in the dark, all emitting a light of their own. Their motions pulled the audience into awe. Dark blue leotards tightly clung to their bodies, black ruffles dancing beneath their skirts. Defying gravity, every leap, just moments too long. Their ruffled skirts gave the effect of a black swan, leaping from water. Beautiful dark red ribbons in hand, the shade of long oxidized blood. They spun through hoops so quickly they sparked. Contrast to the world of the carnival, they were angels.

After they finished their dance, they seemed to vanish. The ring, now lit up, showed 4 large trapeze ropes and 2 poles on opposite sides, stalking the stage for the next who dared to take its place. The additional lighting showed how large the tent really was. It hadn’t appeared this big on the outside, only a few hundred feet. Looking at it now, it had to be at least a thousand feet around, maybe more. 

A young woman and man climbed up on opposite platforms. Their eyes locked. They had similar attire to the dancers, but no skirts or ribbons to match. They looked similar, both slim brunette haired, what I can only guess were siblings. They stood still for a moment, as if waiting for some sort of introduction. Without one, she stepped backwards to get a running start, and dove. Her hands slammed against the bar, gripping tight as she swung towards her male counterpart. Time seemed to slow. She looked so focused, so certain. She trusted her every move, and her partner just as much. As she neared him, the lights cut, drenching the world in dim, red, darkness.

Silence. It’s frightening. The world isn’t meant to be quiet. Silence is predator stalking prey, it’s calm before the storm. Silence is pain in the making.

A scream. The kind you hear in nightmares. One that speaks a million words, hopes, and dreams, crushing them all in a second. Without words, you could still hear her plea.

Screaming is the one language everyone speaks.

The lights snapped back on, but the scream didn’t stop. The tent shuddered with the silence of the audience, only the screaming. Looking around, they were gone. Even the male trapeze had vanished, just like everyone else; disappeared, to dirt across the floor, and the fear that she might not be alone. Looking ahead, she saw her. Crushed by the pressure of her fall. The last moments of terror, still frozen in her eyes. Limbs twisted in each direction, like a gory broken compass guiding me nowhere.  The dirt beneath her, a damp red. Her corpse, still screaming.

The first normal scream, mine. Frozen in place, everything seemed to unfold before me like a movie. And for a moment I prayed I was a part of the narrative. My knees gave way, sending me to the floor, barely leaving me conscious through the fear induced nausea. It was too sudden, too real. 

The woman’s screaming continued, beyond what her crushed torso should have allowed. Blood gurgled up her throat, slowly muffling her agony. Leaning my shaking body against a chair, I looked towards where the door was. 

It had vanished with no trace left behind, as if it had never been there at all. I looked around, and saw what I should have known far before. There was no way out. 

Running down the stairs, I slipped and was reminded of my fear induced vomit, now covering my yellow skirt. Nearing the bottom of the steps, I stopped. A sound echoed throughout the air, stopping me in my tracks. Skittering on the roof.

Then I saw it. It tore through the roof of the tent with ease, but no light came in. A dark shade of grey-brown, fifty maybe sixty feet long wrapping itself around the polls holding the place up. Ten long spider-like limbs stuck randomly to the body—as if added as an afterthought—all shifting as if they had minds of their own. Two sockets where the eyes should have been, pulling the skin around them in like a black hole.  It’s smile, grotesque, and mangled. The ends wrapped around edges of its head, showing horribly large, sharpened human teeth.

Moving faster than my eyes could catch up with, it darted toward me. I dropped back to the floor. Sliding down the stairs, I scratched any available surface of skin. It slammed into the steps above me, and crawled down right past me. It couldn’t see.

I crawled along the seat bottoms. Shaking every second I wasn’t pressed to the floor. It may not have been able to see me, but it could hear my every breath.

After more than an hour of crawling, hiding, holding my breath, and repeating that vicious cycle, I reached a curtain. Barely open enough for me to fit through silently, I crawled in. Too frightened to breathe, for the fear it might hear me, I ran further inside. Hardly seeing where I was going, I ran in and out of every curtain and opening. Praying for an escape. Each direction I tried left me more and more hopeless. After many failed attempts at tearing through the tent, and looking behind every crate and rack I could find, I crumbled to the floor. 

Tears streamed down my cheeks, I hadn’t taken the time to realize what really was destined to happen. I was not going to escape. I was stuck here, to rot away, or die to that horrible monster outside this curtain. I had so much left to do, I wasn’t ready to die. The thoughts hurt, and I pressed my nails into my palm.

No one had a way with life like she did, floating through the world as if harm never glanced her way. Now harm did more than glance. It was pricking at her skin, drawing closer, and closer. 

I heard it scurry across the ground outside, it hadn’t forgotten I was there. I pressed my nails deeper into my skin, drawing blood. It wasn’t good, but it took the pain in my head away. Helping me focus my brain on something other than fear I couldn’t control. Through my blurred vision, I saw a slightly open crate I was too panicked to notice before. Wiping my eyes, I walked over. Sliding the lid off, I looked inside. Human-sized doll parts. Some wooden, others porcelain. Like those on the clown from the start of the show. I picked one up to look at, just to see what they were. It was hollow. I slid the arm over my own, putting each finger into the correct slot. A perfect fit. The porcelain was cold on my skin, but the freckles dotted on it seemed to match my own. Each finger was built to bend, carefully crafted as if put together by hand. Moving my arm was comfortable, as if it was made for me. Putting it back, I stepped quietly back towards my spot on the floor. Then I felt it. Something moved from out in the ring.

I stepped towards the curtain, making sure to stay out of sight of the thing I knew was out there. I glanced out into the dark, not wanting to see it looking back at me. A dim ray from the torn roof was the only light. In that light were scattered chairs, one of the trapeze poles—now broken— and the door. The same as how it had been before, as if it had never left. 

Without thought, I ran.

My shoes pounded the dirt, echoes following me like bees to flowers. I was so close—close to safety, freedom, to the life I feared I’d lose tonight. Hope struck my heart. 

What strikes harder than hope? Something sharp.

Just seconds away from the door, my stomach dropped. I was jerked back, my limbs crunched together by the grip of that thing. 

Mustering my last bit of strength, I got one look at it—him. One. He looked human, more than he had before. Almost as if turning more human as he watched me suffer. Then, my soon-to-be lifeless body was gouged into a broken trapeze pole. 

Slow, steady, dripping. Blood. My breathing labored through my punctured lungs. It hurt, not like you’d imagine. Like swallowing chlorine at the pool, the choking, nausea, all the same. But it wasn’t as quick. It lingered, like vinegar on my tongue.

“Goodbye Marylin,” a voice, walking towards me. Rachel, my co-worker, classmate, someone I considered my friend.

Rachel stared at my dying body, and I realized she had no choice. She was a puppet, doing as she was told. I saw it, the way she bowed her head. She didn’t really want this. But I couldn’t form the words to convince her otherwise. 

Marylin’s breathing slowed. Maybe she had been hallucinating, maybe not. But in her last moments, I swear I saw her killer become man. Then her breath grew slower, and slower. Until it stopped.

“Good,” the man said,  as he lifted her corpse off of the pole. Her limbs drooped as blood coated her skin. “You will remain here until we find him. Do I make myself clear Rachel?”   

Her head nodded in compliance, her voice hardly above a whisper, “Of course father, my work has been done.”

He had good plans for her body. Stitching her wounds, removing limbs to make place for those same antique toy parts she had seen before. Predicting her own demise. Her eyes sewn open, dark blue buttons in their place. Marylin, a name of the past, a life left behind. A new name, but the same old girl. 

Madame Luiselle, the marionette doll.

I don’t know who she is, and I don’t know why I know her story. But whoever she may be; God have mercy on Marylin Jury.

[sunshine-in-a-bottle]

wait no listen to me

Listen Seth/Eirika is so valid but when you play twin characters, the female one being so Unknowing and Innocent and needing a man to explain everything to her all the for the majority of her arc (Seth) while the male twin is fucking going buckwild being insane answering to no one I'm squinting at you suspiciously. Maybe let Eirika be capable of things on her own. Please. At least make it so Seth isn't doing exposition every chapter.

What was Eirika going to even do when Ephraim was being put through the ringer being told to be king?? Like he's being trained for that, whats she bring trained for??? What, was she gonna just be There. Let her talk about her training to be a diplomat for her Kingdom or her wanting to be on the ground taking care of her people. She can be unsure, but I want a resolution with this that isn't just her fucking off with her partner with no mention of what her life would have been if this whole story hadn't happened. Shes a female lord, please let her be a main character in her own story and not an excessively focused on Support for Ephraim.

Seriously I want some better explanation for why Eirika, the person who obviously cares more about politics and the kingdom, is being passed up for Ephraim, who was shown to be super self-centered and running away from his role until he realized that actually he was kind of being a bastard and needed to give a shit about his kingdom. Its great character development for him, sure, but if you give birth to twins, why aren't you letting the one with the greater aptitude for ruling be trained for it??? What would have happened if Ephraim had never learned to do better??? Like I could say its in-universe sexism but I don't really want that to be the reason because sexism in this world isn't well explored and going with that feels shallow.

I'm not saying Eirika has to be Queen because ultimately I think she could do a lot more as someone On The Ground Seeing The People, but I need more well written thought put into her life.

The portraits changing expressions like they have in the more recent games would be so great for her, I need her to have a raised eyebrow as she says "I can't help you with your image problems, Innes." please give her really emotional and expressive portraits that put her sass and humor full on display she deserves it. She is not just the vaguely smiling kind princess she is so funny and she has mischief in her heart. Look at her making fun of Forde. Please give this to me.

I need them to give us some high quality Eirika/L'Arachel. I don't care if it becomes canon I just need more of them in general. Maybe a little kiss. Actually wait I'm in charge. They get an Ending Together where they either get married or theyre really gay. I want an ending like that for Ephraim and Innes too.

the games tend to treat the twins and Lyon as if they were childhood friends despite them only knowing each other for like two years and its really funny, but I might have them push it to be childhood friends just because I don't see any reason why not to do that. Have them meet every summer but never through the winter, allowing Lyon to feel the cold lacking of their presence. Let them be really intense about each other. Give me more friendship content. Give me Lyon's issues for Longer and More. He can fit so much long-term angst inside him.

Don't remove Eirika's gentleness and kindness. Ever. This whole story should be her having to test her faith in Good Kind Love And Friendship against the horrors of war and the betrayal of allies and friends. I love her wrestling with that and being so afraid that she might be wrong, that people might not be inherently good, but still pressing on with her ideals and ultimately being rewarded for that with peace being restored. But also-

Eirika still gives Lyon the stone in her route and its fucked up and I think with this cool updated models stuff we can really get into this idea that shes being tricked and her kindness is being used against her. Give Lyon this really fucked up half corrupted model with Monster Edelgard vibes, let scales and claws and darkness be seeping out of him. Really hammer home the idea that this is a corrupted man and that there's so many stories where you can bring people back from the brink, and Eirika is a person who believes in that. Honestly even foreshadow it with stories of happy endings and codexs on the Five Heroes and their journey, character we don't even get to know much about. Make any person who doesn't already know how this is going to end really believe they can help Lyon and feel Eirika's devastation when they realize they can't.

Also I think they should flex more on the twins opposing flaws??? Like, Eirika gives too much, more than she can afford. Ephraim gives too little, hurting the people around him for his goals. (Important note: Martyrdom is in fact a flaw and Eirika's flaw isn't "better" than Ephraim's, see the issue with Lyon's betrayal above. There is such a thing as not being selfish enough, and its called lacking self preservation. People are not heroes for lacking self preservation.) Like I want more parallels being drawn between these two other than "will stab you vs will talk to you". We get TWO LORDS we need to USE THIS.

Seriously we need more lore about The Five Heroes and maybe even Nada Kuya. Some background murals at least. Please god give me Magvel lore we're never going to get another game set in this region I at least want crumbs.

Maybe uhhhh touch up Colm and Neimi's supports a bit. Just a little. A tiny bit less mean mayhaps.

Why don't Eirika and Tana get to kiss?????

Tana needs to get more too actually please give her so many things in life she deserves it, she has Innes as her brother.

Innes needs therapy but he's never going to get it so I think we should have a map with rain so we can leave him out there soaking wet like a sad pathetic cat. I think this would be good for him.

Marisa and Tethys should have an ending where they kiss. Alternatively they still kiss but Gerik also gets to be there sometimes and he's a bottom.

Joshua should be required to attend to that final conversation with his mom if he is in the party, and his mom should get the chance to be really dramatic with her master swordfighting and land a crit on someone if she must die. I want her taking out hoards of enemies before falling. I want the player to be in awe of her and really upset she can't be in the party because of how op she is.

Lets get more Knoll. Lets get more Selena. Lets get some more Syrene even. I want more dialogue and lore from Everyone who got minimal focus or was a latecomer this time around.

Monica should still be entirely offscreen and youd should be left to imagine how fucked up

I need them to make an update of Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones but I'm in charge of all the writing decisions. They disrespected my girl Eirika so fucking badly the first time around, I'll fight them

[acomputeryguy]

I Don’t like the “Yellow Guy is David, Lesley’s Son” theory. Here’s why...

To quote one of our favourites, I just think it’s really boring.

I was so looking forward to Film Theory’s take on C4′s DHMIS because I thought if anyone was going to blow that theory out of the water, it’d be him. Boy oh boy was I wrong.

Not only did he spend the majority of the video recapping the events of the last two episodes, he didn’t even mention the conversation Duck and Red Guy have whilst Yellow Guy ascends the stairs.

That is one of the main pieces of contradictory evidence to the Yellow Guy is Lesley’s Son theory in my opinion.

The significance of that conversation alongside Duck and Red Guy being the only ones in the Big and Bigger Boys’ rooms; it suggests they are aware of how things work whilst Yellow Guy is kept in a perpetual state of not-knowing... Until he is triggered enough to remember, re-discovers what he has already learnt several times before, then ends up unaware all over again. This is alluded to in his contribution to the episode 5 theme song. Notice Duck is the only one to obviously react to that. The camera focuses in on his reaction alone. I strongly believe that before the events of episode 5, Duck is the only one who has “ascended” to the upper floors.

Being serious for a second though, I get there’s no real meaning or grand plan behind this series and that it could be explained away as merely using the cyclical theme of children’s television as an element of horror, BUT, because I’m so bothered by the accepted theory that Yellow Guy is Lesley’s son and he died in a car crash that either she caused or was present for, and this is her recreating her kid “David” out of grief, here are my own thoughts on it all...

When you examine what Lesley actually does to Yellow Guy and the others, it’s just subjecting them to awful situations and “resetting” them back to normal at the end of the day. That’s not a desperate act of grief. That’s calculating and deliberate.

And if Yellow Guy is “David”, Lesley’s son, why are Duck and Red Guy there? Who are they? Who were they, before? You could make the argument they were David’s favourite characters from his favourite TV show, but then why is Lesley putting them through the ringer every episode? Why is Yellow Guy the one that suffers the most compared to Red Guy and Duck? What kind of mother would want to see her son terrified and upset all of the time, and then bring his favourite characters to life, just to have them bully and belittle him? And torture them in front of him too?

If Roy was her husband, and Yellow Guy’s dad, and Lesley viewed him as this abusive figure responsible for the death of her son, then why does she keep tormenting Yellow Guy with him? He’s used against Yellow Guy as a device to hurt and confuse him all of the time. It just doesn’t make any sense.

This theory also assumes Yellow Guy’s dream about Mullhoven was an event that actually happened instead of Lesley just... orchestrating a dream for him where this new town Red Guy wants to drive them to looks nice on the surface but is actually slightly off in ways, all in a bid to force him back to reality. Note: until Yellow Guy is startled awake and the car starts to break down, he and Duck were perfectly content escaping the house, because Red Guy had placated them so well that anything she could do to influence them ended up being ineffective.

As for the number plate - of course it has her name. She’s the one driving the events. Even the thing Red Guy thinks of as freedom is actually all under Lesley’s control.

The events of episode 5 feel more to me like Lesley was willing to indulge them in their “escape” since Red Guy was so determined about it, but then she had to teach him the hard way why trying to leave isn’t acceptable. She had to intervene when Red Guy sends Yellow Guy off to sleep to dream happily about their new house, and new town, with their new neighbours. They all had to be taught that there’s nothing better waiting for them outside because the Sat Nav didn’t manage to do the job for her. I mean its recommendations of where to go basically consist of a place with a famous dead horse and a place that “just shrivelled up”, but Red Guy wasn’t willing to accept that and kept pushing them forwards anyway. Since Lesley couldn’t deter them with her usual props, she had to “get creative” and mess with Yellow Guy to get things back on track.

Which, as an aside, is perhaps why he is “one of her favourites”. Because he is so easily manipulated. Her interactions with Yellow Guy later make one thing clear: she is very fond of him, but she can’t coddle him. She has to keep him on his toes. He has to dance to her tune, ultimately, because he’s a creation meant to entertain, and the main rule in all writing is that your characters are never allowed to be too happy so long as there’s a story happening on the page.

Moving on, after episode 5, Red Guy is suddenly very keen to maintain the status quo which was jarring to some people. They felt he changed too quickly, but if you view Transport as his “ascending” the stairs moment, where unlike Yellow Guy he can’t be easily fooled and manipulated back into forgetting everything, his sudden desire to do as he’s told makes perfect sense. Like Duck, he now knows the way this place works. And in that muffled conversation in episode 6, they are discussing the possibility of Yellow Guy learning what they know. Neither he nor Duck are comfortable with the idea of Yellow Guy being on their level.

Why?

Very probably because Yellow Guy with batteries might not be able to be placated. Had he learnt the truth of their reality and retained it, their entire world would have come crashing down. And then what is there? No nice friendly house with its pretty colours and sing-song lessons, but a grim, drab reality, which Red Guy has already taken them all to before.

If we view Lesley as a stand-in for a creative person - someone who makes things (writes, creates art, etc) - then the allegory becomes clear: DHMIS is her escape from reality. It’s what she can do, what she is good at, what she enjoys, but she also has to be a little twisted as that is what makes the art she is creating entertaining. She has to take these cute little characters, and clatter them violently around the dollhouse they live in. She is as trapped in that house as Red Guy, Yellow Guy, and Duck are, and if she’s not careful, they can take on a life of their own and find themselves outside of what she intends for them.

Very interesting actually that Transport is the episode where we get a direct comment about what happened to Wakey, Wakey, and the episode where Lesley’s creations try to run away from her.

My personal understanding is that Lesley, with her patchwork appearance and colourful clothes, is the embodiment of the three creative minds behind the show: Sloan, Pelling, and Terry. We have three main characters too, it’s worth pointing out. They do say three is a magic number in writing...

Anyway, after episode 5, Red Guy learns what Yellow Guy almost learnt. He and Duck have “ascended” - they are completely self-aware about where they are, what their purpose is, and what they have to do to keep the days ticking over, even if the content of past lessons/episodes becomes vague to them over time. 

Their one job now is to keep Yellow Guy innocent of it all.

I mean I personally find that to be a far more interesting situation than this is all the work of a grieving mother who likes to torture her dead kid for some inexplicable reason. That theory, to me, does away with the actual horror of DHMIS: that our trio are trapped and can never escape, are utterly beholden to somebody else’s whims whether they are aware of it or not, and are doomed to an eternity of torment for the sake of entertainment. As are all fictional characters...

So, yeah. Yellow Guy is Lesley’s child, but the kind of child any fictional character is to the mind that created them. You love them, but you unfortunately have to hurt them. For the good of the story, to entertain, and as Lesley says herself, sometimes just because it’s funny.

Disclaimer: This isn’t to say he can’t be David, of course, and that he’s not actually dead. I think there’s a lot of compelling evidence that he may be the David that is mentioned and that he, like Red Guy and Duck, have “died” in some way before ending up where they are. I just personally don’t like the assumption Yellow Guy was/is Lesley’s actual, real-born son who died in a car crash, and this is her attempt to recreate him.

[animefreak1145]

The Brilliance of Break On Through

Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War Mission Break on Through—An Analysis

I have replayed the campaign of COD:BOCW numerous times—too many times truly. Did a whole playthrough where it was Hardened and soon I’m sure I shall do Veteran(something I have never done for any COD game. Not even Hardened.).

All missions have their own unique qualities—parts where the player gets a little rush of adrenaline depending on the kind of mission and how they choose to play it (Nowhere Left to Run just a plain shooting match while Brick in the Wall you can choose to remain stealthy like the good spy you are or go crazy like an eager homicidal maniac).

Even within the safehouse, there are plenty of little details to discover if you take the time to look around and observe everyone. Or, everything. (The radio if turned to a Russian station/correspondence, Adler changes it back immediately before Da Nang mission. Watching Park’s body language, as you talk to Adler and she periodically looks over to you two. Adler suspicious when you go to the Red Room or the locked room with the arcade. The T.V. being turned on in the Red Room)

But the amount of details, details, in the mission Break on Through is outstanding. I have played this mission more than any other due to me wishing to look at all the details. There’s so many, I think I may miss some. And I can’t show them off all to you cause I suck at creating gifs and don’t know how to transfer that from Xbox to my phone.

To lighten it up a bit, I won’t focus on the four different scenarios you go through—at least not each one. That would take too long and I do not have gifs/pics to show it off since Tumblr limits it to ten anyways.

I will, however, try to guide to what parts of the game you all can explore if you choose to do so. As well just how detailed they did this mission.

I am going to start with the different statements Adler says to you throughout all the Scenarios(17, 6, 11, 1). We only go through four in the actual game—but the fact it goes up to 17 or possibly more shows just how far they went in and messed with Bell’s mind.

Now, Adler seems to be a bit bipolar on how he talks to you whether or not you listen to him and all his directions. Either totally blasé and cold to giving you and pumping you up with more MK or meds, or actually a tad concerned and patient as he guides you through.

If You/Bell Stands Still/Does Nothing:

Example 1

“So you did nothing? What were you, in shock?”

He throws the words callously, mocking. As if Bell isn’t confused and lost at what is going on. He even sounds irritated that you might actually be in shock due to these memories that are just fake—not even real. Not like what he has.

Example 2

“What’s wrong with Bell?” -Adler

“I’m not sure. . .” -Park

“I guess we’ll just wait on you to proceed, Bell.”

The contrast is dizzying. He sounds concerned when he asks Park on what could be wrong with you. If he pushed you too far and now you’re just frozen. And, instead of rushing you due to how the fate of half of Europe is at stake, he decides to give you space. Just wait for you and you’ll come out of it soon enough.

He does these sort of reactions numerous times. Jumping from intimidating to the Adler we knew as the player, as Bell—kind and always in your corner that believes in you. He switches tactics based on what he believes will work really—or he just felt really on edge at times and threw the farce that you two were friends out the window.

Other examples include:

Scenario 11–Napalm Strike-in the lab in the room where you were brainwashed

“Christ, what’s happening with them?”-Adler

“A mild seizure. Sims, past me a benzodiazepine.” -Park

Again, concerned. Worried. Almost…at unease?

In the lab—tripped up on drugs. If you run through the tight shrinking hallway back and forth like so(I suck at making gifs, I’m sorry):

“Why is Bell repeating themselves?”

Or

“Bell, stop speaking in circles.”

Now, as others may have suspected, Bell is talking to everyone as they’re stuck in this horrible loop of mental torture. Most likely muttering, hands clenching and arms pulling against the straps of the gurney, moving their head back and forth depending on what they’re seeing. I always saw Bell as muttering quickly in Russian as they go through all of this—their mother tongue where it may comfort them as they’re panicking and speaking to Adler.

It’s just a nice detail showcasing how exactly Adler knows that Bell is on script—Bell saying what they’re seeing and doing and what’s going on. It shows also just how hard they put Bell through the ringer(badum tss. I’ll leave now).

All the details too when the game shows how the drugs they put in Bell affects you. Like so. The hallways appearing long. The lights looking yellow. You feel so fast—look how quick you can run. Run towards the Red Door that Adler so desperately wants and maybe this can stop. Ah, why is it running away from you? What’s going on?

I don’t know about you, but I was so lost and confused at what was going on my first playthrough. For the majority of this mission, the possibility of me being brainwashed didn’t reach the BACK of my mind till probably I actually saw the flashes of scenes about Vietnam and calling Bell a subject. So like right here.

I personally thought that I had a repressed memory or something due to me going through the Vietnam War. That whatever I saw with Perseus, I—or rather Bell—repressed it from our mind due to how violent or horrible what we saw or experienced was. And that Adler suspected and just really wanted to know about it.

I didn’t expect for the man to actually brainwash my character—us—Bell! The game made Adler your mentor, who always defended you from Hudson and believed in your skills very highly. How he and Bell were basically perfect partners when the two of you were together.

It’s amazing—cause I think that’s what the developers were going for. The absolute trust. The loyalty. The denial that ‘maybe Adler is being a little harsh but hey, this is to help Perseus so it’s okay?’ It’s perfect. Because I’m sure that is what Bell actually felt in real time.

Yet, if you go through the total rebellious choice of not listening to Adler, some thing’s make sense. The Rebellious Side shows you way more than if you just listen to Adler like a Dutiful Soldier.

You go through this room if you choose the rebellious route, the T.V.’s automatically turning on the closer you get. Of Vietnam. And now, all those T.V.‘s that turned on by themselves(the Red Room, Lubyanka, Cuba) make sense. You were actually being brainwashed. Poor Bell probably can’t ever have a turned off/broken T.V. again. The trauma.

Said trauma being shown multiple times too. Not just the T.V.‘s. But the absolute terror that Bell felt, before they became Bell, with Adler.

Like do you see this? This terrified me when I saw it at the end of the hallway. I just saw a red shadow in the distance and I legit thought I was about to be chased. Call of Duty became a horror game(I also went through the door to the ground too my first playthrough, so before this I went through zombies and I think my heart was going to jump out my chest) I thought. I didn’t want to get closer. I had to, with each step I see that it’s not a shadow but a body. And than I see the familiar jacket, the sound of whirring in my ears and see it’s Adler’s head being twisted back and forth, side to side, up and down, in a speed that in inhumanely possible.

Makes one wonder if Bell themselves sees Adler as inhumane. Not human. Adler seeming to just be a god in their head. All the Adler shaped rocks/boulders you go through and see. Even one point the V.C. becoming Adler and you killing him over and over and dead bodies of Adler being everywhere.

The man has entered Bell’s head and won’t leave. Just like Adler won’t leave Bell alone.

Heck, there’s one point in my playthroughs of this mission I was by the bridge yet there were parts of the lab by it. I jumped towards it, noticing down below there were different floors of the lab that eventually reach the ground. I jumped to reach the next floor and missed and I died.

And Adler mocked Bell committing suicide.

That was the kicker really that Adler truly is indifferent towards Bell. Like complete disregard. I know it’s fake. We know it’s fake. Adler knows it’s fake—but to Bell, it felt real. That’s the crazy part. All of this—this whole sequence feels real to Bell so each time they die they actually feel it. It’s insane. It’s cruel.

But we all know that Adler isn’t known for his kindness. Still like his character though, he’s layered.

I don’t have the exact quote he said, didn’t wrote it down like the others. I was shook he said it at all.

Moving on to the final details I’m going to talk about.

When you go through the room, I believe this comes out for both rebellious and dutiful, really depends. You see it filled with post it notes, articles, plans, and newspapers. And you see once more just how Bell has been scarred.

I don’t know Russian or German, but I imagine the notes are similar to what the English one’s say. If I’m wrong, please point it out.

There’s also post it notes which I believe is in code as well due to all the numbers—I’m not sure what those could mean since I am no decoding expert.

Poor poor Bell. And with all these pictures and plans—of Adler included—it begs the question that Bell may have been warned about the famous America’s Monster beforehand. Had to have—since Adler is basically Perseus’s adversary due to how stubborn the American man could be. It just adds more to the story, despite Cold War having quite a short campaign, they made it up somewhat with all these details everywhere.

When you finally and actually reach the room.

As you grow closer to the table, to your chair in the conference room while everyone else seems to have their own spots, there’s something I noticed.

There’s glasses. As well as a hat. And it’s Bell’s. Or at least, it used to be. Why else is it on their side of the table? By their chair? I believe it might be reading glasses due to all the decryptions Bell does, whether on paper or through a computer, it’s hard on the eyes. (I’m sure I’m not the only one who noticed this. For look at @second-vtoroy ‘s Bell)

I believe through the brainwashing, Bell might not need glasses anymore. After all, apparently they were a smoker like Adler before too but they took that out of you. What else they changed of Bell? It makes one wonder how far they truly went into molding a person.

Which just adds onto how mind boggling this mission is—this game is. This is my favorite COD game, despite how short it is. The details and choices and interactions with everyone and able to create your own character(albeit it’s very standard and not specific but it’s good enough for me) is AMAZING. I’ve always been a sucker for RPG’s and able to get that even a little in a COD game? Truly wonderful.

I couldn’t touch on everything because it would’ve gotten long, but the fun of the Break on Through mission never gets old. It’s genius multiple ways you can do it. All the details. The feelings you feel as a player as you go through it.

They truly did a unique job with this and I hope they continue with this type of game storytelling. Hopefully longer as well.

Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed this rant basically!

Gifs made by me and used the video down below to help.

https://youtu.be/t6QkmkGGHSQ

[imjusttpeachy]

she's a rae of sunshine (c.h.)

okay so this was a request but i completely read it wrong so i’m gonna write it again but i finished this one anyway so here take it

so sorry to the anon who requested it bc u were so fuckin sweet i’ll have it up asap i promise

playlist

ralph castelli - morning sex

crumb - bones

jorja smith - teenage fantasy

summary: balancing college life and wanting to support your best friends online endeavors was difficult, but reader regrets trying a little harder when she finally meets one of her newer stream-mates

word count: 2, 828

WARNINGS: she/her pronouns used, coarse language, lowkey OOC Corpse, that needs its own warning i’m sorry,

•••

“Look you knew I had to stream before I said you could come over ya fuckin idiot.”

“Yea I knowwwww, I just wanted to spend more time with my super-hot best friend forever.”

Being the best friend of an online personality had its perks— the amazing trips you got to hitch a ride on, the adoring fans that seemed to latch on to you as well, the sponsorships that would always send you something along with the original PR package, and especially the way she was able to choose their own work hours.

Well... mostly.

As much as you adored spending time together during the day, whether it be shopping or going out for brunch, those late nights that always seemed to hold the most memories you held so dear were few and far between. Of course, you couldn’t blame her; responsibilities were responsibilities, and fuck if you’d let your selfish wants override the way she chooses to get her work done. You really couldn’t be one to judge either-- having to call off dates because you’d underestimated the time you needed to complete a school paper, or when a last-minute lab was called in and you’d have to leave her sitting alone in those cafes with your half-finished mocha and a promise to Venmo her the money to cover it later. What left you feeling the most guilty, though, was the fact that you weren’t able to watch her content as much as you’d like to. Sure, you’d catch a few minutes of a stream here and there but any time you spent apart was usually spent with your head buried in a book, mind bleary with countless espresso shots trying to keep your tired eyes focused on the seemingly unending work in front of you.

But, a distraction every now and then couldn’t hurt. Right?

Having had enough of your current assignment, any coherent thought was long gone, you’d decided to pay your favourite person a little visit. You knew she’d probably be busy as she hadn’t replied to your previous text for a few hours, but knowing her presence alone and any passing comments would lift the heaviness that had found its home in your head and chest, you shot her a message to let her know that her office couch would be occupied by you for the next few hours. Normally, you’d just show up so you knew she wouldn’t have a problem with it; so when that fateful message popped up on your phone giving you the go-ahead you completely ignored the warning of her work schedule and drove right over.

So now here you were, sprawled haphazardly on her couch clad in sweats and a sports bra scrolling through your phone as you watched her finish her final touches so she could start her stream.

“You’re gonna be in the background of my face cam if you wanna sit there y’know.” Groaning in response to her warning not wanting to move from the comfy spot you just found, you looked over at her with the best puppy eyes you could muster. She chuckled softly, raising her hands in surrender as she turned back to her setup. “Hey I really don’t care, just warning ya bug. The thirst comments and screenshots are outta my hands.”

Scoffing under your breath at her comment, you turned your head back to your phone as a Twitter notification popped up at the top of your screen.

Corpse Husband: streaming among us in a few mins, join in on youtube

Heartbeat picking up slightly, you scrambled for the purse you’d thrown at the base of the couch for your headphones. Ever since you’d found this handsome-voiced stranger’s channel on your late night horror binges, you had fallen completely in love. While you weren’t typically the type to watch video game commentary outside of Rae, his voice got you completely hooked and you couldn’t get enough of it. Yeah, maybe you were a bit of a simp, but that sweet and genuine personality that hid behind that gravelly tone had you melting completely into his clutches. You tried to convince yourself to get over it, you didn’t even know what he looked like. But, y’know, a little crush wouldn’t hurt anybody right?

“Going live in T-minus 30 seconds babe.” Jumping slightly as Rae’s voice knocked you out of dreamland, you mumbled out a small “got it” as you once again got focused on getting your headphones connected to your phone. You’d never been able to watch one of his lives before, his horror commentary videos usually playing as background noise as you did schoolwork or while you were falling asleep. Practically shaking with excitement, you opened your YouTube app seeing the live at the very top and tapping on it immediately only to be met with that sweet laugh ringing through your headphones like music to your ears. You grinned to yourself, grabbing the throw pillow you had previously tossed to the floor and hugging it to your chest while your eyes remained glued to your phone screen, completely forgetting what was happening around you as you zeroed in on the gravelly tone you’d fallen oh-so in love with.

“Hey (Y/N) wave hi.” You startled slightly as the faint voice of your friend sounded from across the room. Glancing up from your phone, you pulled an earbud from your ear and furrowed your brows at her before slowly processing what she said, lifting a hand in greeting to her watchers. She laughed at your confusing antics, turning slightly in her chair to look over at you. “What the hell are you so smiley about?”

“…Nothing..” You grinned widely as her laugh once again resounded around the room, shaking her head at you before turning back to her screen with a scoff, muttering something under her breath so only her watchers could hear. Smile still plastered across your lips, you settled back down into the comfiness of the couch and popped your earbud back in, zeroing in again on the screen in front of you. Watching as Corpse moved his character around the lobby as he waited for his friends to join, a small giggle escaped from under your breath; trying your best to be mindful of Rae’s stream but not being able to hold back the flustered feeling welling up in your chest, mind giddy with the thought of finally being able to see one of his famous live streams, well, live. It had only been a few seconds later when you heard Rae’s voice once again, only this time, not as muffled as before.

“What’s up motherfuckers.” Brows furrowing in confusion, you lifted your hand to your earbud and pulled it from your ear once again, hearing her voice from across the room but from your other earbud as well. No, there was no fucking way. All your questions were answered, though, as you glanced back down at your phone screen seeing a red character move around the game lobby along with Corpse’s, the gamer tag ‘Valkyrae’ floating just above it. Blinking hard at your screen trying to convince yourself that your eyes were lying to you, you slowly pulled your hand to cover your mouth in shock. How… How could you possibly not know they knew each other? With the way they spoke to each other in sarcastic comments, poking fun at the other it sounded like they were close too. Body finally catching up with your thoughts, you scrambled at your phone, shaky hands moving as quickly as they could to pull up your texts with Rae. Your fingers tapped furiously at the screen, anxious to get back to the live stream to listen in more but also needing to know what the fuck was going on.

TO my rae of sunshine: care to explain what the fuck is going on??! how the fuck do you know corpse husband?????!??!

“Oops sorry guys, guess I forgot to turn off my phone ringer-“ Staring up at the back of her head helplessly, you watched as she picked up her phone seeming to read out the text before bursting into a peal of laughter. Tossing a look at you over her shoulder, you looked back down at your phone bashfully, seeing the three loading dots in your message thread indicating that she was messaging you back.

my rae of sunshine: lol what about it? you gotta crush on him or something?

TO my rae of sunshine: …no

Hitting send you rushed back to the stream, anxious to see what Corpse was saying in response to Rae’s absence, not thinking anything about your brief conversation and thinking you would discuss it after she had logged off for the night. Though, as you heard her phone chime again from across the room followed by another bark of laughter, you knew you weren’t getting off that easy.

“What are you laughing about?” Corpse’s honeyed voice sounded from your earbud, hearing Rae’s giggles from what you presumed to be their discord voice chat. Glancing anxiously between his stream and the reflection of Rae’s face cam in one of her monitors, your heart began to sink as you watched that familiar mischievous grin tugging at the edge of her lips.

“Oh just my friend (Y/n) sent me a funny meme”

“Wait, is she the one in some of your Instagram posts?” You swear your heart stopped beating at that moment, eyes glued to the screen in front of you as you tried helplessly to process the conversation happening right in front of you. He knew who you were? You thought you’d always be lost among the hundreds of thousands of his new adoring fans, left in the anonymity of your Twitter tag in his subtweets, or just another subscriber that fawned over him silently behind a keyboard. Knowing that he’d actually seen your face you could feel your own beginning to heat at that moment; you brought your hands your mouth again, unknowingly curling your body tighter around the pillow in your lap as you tried to hide your face behind it as you become more and more flustered from the words nonchalantly escaping his mouth.

“Yea that’s her, pretty thing isn’t she? She’s my absolute favourite.”

That’s it, you were gonna fucking kill her.

“I mean, yeah... I guess..” The timid words followed by a soft awkward chuckle had your breath hitching in your throat. There was no fucking way this was happening. This had to be a dream, that was the only possible explanation. You were just about to pinch yourself when Rae’s voice startled you from your thoughts.

“She’s actually over right now. She insisted on getting wine drunk later tonight because her professor’s been on her ass lately. I’ll get her to come say hi.” Rae had barely turned around in her chair when she was met with your wide-eyed gaze, panic painted across your features as you shook your head wildly. You were in no state to be talking to your long-time internet crush in such a casual setting. But with the look Rae shot you from her chair as she started to plug another headset into her PC, you knew you had no choice and begrudgingly pulled yourself from the couch almost tripping over your own feet as you shakily walked over to Rae. Shooting her another pleading look, she only shoved the headset in your direction in return as she grinned up at you. Finally biting the bullet, you pulled on the headset and leaned down toward the mic.

“Hi, how’s it going?” Cursing at yourself for how quiet and shaky your words came out, you barely had any time to think it over before a chorus of greetings sounded through the headset. A small giggle escaped your lips as you watched the different Discord icons appear and disappear from the top of the screen. You knew most of these people already which made you even more confused as to how you managed to miss that voice from all the discord chats and voice calls. Well, knowing them was a bit of an overstatement anyway; you knew /of/ them, and they knew /of/ you in the other times you popped up in the background or in passing conversation during Rae’s streams. They did know you well enough, though, to know this was not the way you usually spoke around them.

“No way, that can’t be the (Y/N) I know!” The voice you recognize as Sean echoes through your headset, another chorus of knowing laughter following quickly after. Taking a deep breath you managed to force out a few words that would get them off your case.

“…Shut the fuck up”

“There she is!!” As the group erupted in laughter yet again, all you could focus on was the faint deep chuckle that resounded through your headset. Feeling your face start to heat up, you covered your wide grin with your hand as butterflies burst through your stomach; you could listen to that laugh all day. Before you were able to speak again, though, that heavenly voice piped up and wiped all train of thought from your mind.

“Nice to meet you (Y/N).”

“It’s nice to meet you too Corpse. I gotta be honest ‘n say I’m a pretty big fan of your no-sleep work.” And... there’s the word vomit. Fuck, you could feel your cheeks starting to heat up with the ongoing realization of who you were talking to.

“Aha thank you, I uh really appreciate that. I’m sure you just heard, but I guess you could say I’m a fan of yours also.”

No.

No, there’s no fucking way.

Is he...

Flirting with you?

Before you could even think about what to reply to that with, the rest of the group beat you to it.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is happening.”

“CORPSE! You SIMP!”

“Is- Is Corpse really shooting his shot right now?”

You didn’t realize you were frozen in place until you felt Rae’s hand on your elbow, snapping you out of your bewildered trance as you tried to comprehend what was happening yourself. As your thoughts finally caught up to the present, you could feel your cheeks start to burn; pulling your hand up to cover your face you stepped out of the view of the face cam. Rae’s laughter filled the room as she watched your flustered antics, shooting you a sly grin as she started scanning the monitor displaying her live chat.

“Wait, wait, chats telling me (y/n)’s blushing right now?” Sean’s voice echoed through the discord chat, only making you flush further as you tried desperately to find a way out of this.

“Okay, okay, leave her alone.” Corpse’s voice finally piped up amid all of the chaos causing everyone to immediately pipe down. God, you didn’t even want to begin to think of the mess this has already made, you just needed to get out of there before you caused any more damage.

“Yeah, I uh- see- see that the lobby’s full so I’ll just uh- leave you guys to it.” Quietly thanking the stars that Corpse finally got you out of this mess, you went to pull the headset off your ears when that fateful voice piped up again.

“Wait, don’t let these nerds make you leave. You should stay- I mean, only to help Rae y'know? She needs it.”

“I do not!”

“I- I mean yea sure, as long as I’m not intruding,” Cursing yourself again for stuttering before forcing yourself to swallow the knot in your throat, “I mean, she really does need the help.”

“Okay just because you want to flirt some more doesn’t mean you can bully me-“

“Okay, I’m starting the round!” The booming accented voice cut off everyone else in the call as you all stared as the screen began to count down to the game, and before anyone had the chance to say anything else a chorus of laughs resounded, and then the lobby fell into silence.

•••

And it went on like that, the not-so-subtle flirting followed by relentless jabs from the group immediately after. The game was almost forgotten with how much of each lobby was taken up by teasing words and endless laughter, but every audience was just eating it up. You didn’t even want to think about the mess social media was going to be after this stream but right now you were having fun with your friends and that’s all that mattered. The grin was practically plastered on your face as you laughed along with Rae the chat during the gameplay portions and you knew everything from this moment on was gonna be different, but you couldn’t find a single thing within you to care.

Especially when you logged onto Twitter right after the stream and saw that little message right at the top of your requests.

@.corpsehusband: wanna hear some of that no sleep work in person?

•••

beep bop here u go,

[tloujm]

Part XXVI: Giving Grief

Author’s Notes: This is the first chapter I’ve posted in months (literally since April). I don’t know if this is a full comeback. I have a few chapters in the drafts that need to be edited and formatted for posting but after that, I still plan on continuing the series bc my plan was always have a long fic. With no new content after part II of the game was released, my interest in the fandom waned but was always there. Now with HBO creating a show based off the game, as well as me being apart of the Pedro Pascal fandom, I think I will soon become more consistent in posting as new content gets released. I will say that at least half of what appeals to me for Joel is Troy Baker’s voice and while I love Pedro’s voice too, I know it won’t be the same. I still think Pedro will do the voice justice bc he can do a damn fine country accent as seen in the movie Prospect on Netflix. If you’re a fan of his and have Netflix, please go watch it!

Genre: Angst and Fluff

Summary: You and Joel reconcile and bond over Ellie and Sarah. 

Ship: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Joel waited for you to come home. He paced back and forth in the kitchen switching from holding the card and setting it down on the counter. He was eager to talk to you about this new revelation partly because he was nervous to have the other conversation with you. After a while of calming his nerves down, you still hadn’t come home. The sun had set an hour ago and Joel was ready to throw on his boots and go looking for you. 

Just as he laced them up, the front door opened. You walked in and immediately stopped because his body blocked you from walking in the house further. 

“Going somewhere?” You asked as you slid past him. He was a grown man and could do what he wanted, but the thought of him leaving to go do other things before the issue between you was resolved upset you. 

He reached back down to unlace his boots. “Not anymore. I was ‘bout to head out and find you.”

“Why?” You asked dryly.

“I’d been waiting on you to come home for a couple of hours. We gotta talk.”

“You’re right, we do. I was helping Wendy walk the kids home from the daycare; that’s what held me up. I’m here now, though.” You leaned against the back of the couch and crossed your arms. The stance you took reminded you of what Joel would do.

He walked into the kitchen and came back. “Kiddo made this for us.”

You took it in your hands. “When did she have time to make this?” He shrugged. Your fingers brushed across the drawing of the hat before finally opening it. “Oh my God.” She looked at you for a split second before looking back down at her signature. “Her name has been ‘Ellie’ the whole time.”

“I know.” He commented. 

“She never said anything. All of us have asked her.”

“Technically, she still hasn’t spoken her name, but I guess she wasn’t ready for that.”

“She wasn’t ready to let anybody in.” You said. He nodded in agreement.

“Until now.” He walked up to you and pointed to her name on the card. “She’s doing so good, this Ellie. I can only try to imagine the horrors that she’s seen out in the world before she came to Jackson, but whatever happened out there, it led her to us. I’m...It’s just nice to see her opening up to this place.”

You understood what he was trying to say. “Yeah, I’m proud of her too.” You walked past him and into the kitchen to hang the card on the refrigerator. Joel followed. This time, his arms were crossed.

“(Y/N), I meant it when I said I was sorry back there. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”

“If you didn’t mean it, you wouldn’t have said it.” You rebutted.

“I was upset with you because I expected you to react the same as me when Ellie climbed up that T-Rex, but I don’t want a carbon copy of myself. I love you and want to have a family with you because you are wise beyond your years, confident even if you don’t always think so, responsible even for things that aren’t your responsibility and most importantly, you’re level headedness. Where I have a tendency to lose my cool in certain situations, you are guided by this calm...patient sense of will that I envy.” He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, giving you the opportunity to say something. Seeing that you were still soaking in his words, he continued. “You’ll be a great mother. I saw it in the gentle way you juggled all those kids at the daycare. I saw it in the way you took care of Ellie the first day she came here. You’ll see though, if it’s meant for us to have a baby, how difficult it is to stop worrying. It didn’t stop when Sarah....even when I tried to push those feelings away. It doesn’t stop. I know she’s not her, but it’s hard for me to just stand by and watch her do something that could hurt her.”

“I wasn’t standing by, or at least that wasn’t my intention. I wanted to give her space. She’s so delicate, or maybe that’s my problem. I shouldn’t treat her like she’s some glass figurine. I just wanted her to grow comfortable with us by trusting her. Believe me, it wasn’t easy for me to do when there was nothing personally for me to go off of, but then I thought, she’s lived out there for God knows how long by herself. She’s not only seen things but has been able to survive things. It’s hard to see how clever someone is when they won’t let you in, but I knew she had to be to have made it this far. I get it though. I’ve never been a parent. I can only sympathize with your worries. I can not empathize with you until I’ve been where you have. I’m sorry too. I could have found a way to give her space without allowing her to be in such a dangerous spot. You must be disappointed in me.”

He moved up to you and placed his hands on your shoulder. “I’m not. Look at me. I’m not disappointed in you. She was both of our responsibilities earlier.” He brought you into a tight hug. “You’re right, she is smart. She felt comfortable enough to show a side of herself that no one else has seen. You know why? ‘Cause she felt safe around us. Despite the grief she put me through, it was nice to see her so happy.”

“I know it was, wasn’t it? I can’t believe she jumped though! I didn’t think she’d go that far.”

“At the end of the day, kids will be kids. It’s not an excuse to slack off on raising ‘em, but there's just a certain wild and carefree nature that every kid has. It’s instilled in their DNA or somethin’ and then it fades away as they get older, about the time their back starts to ache.” Joel chuckled as he explained. He kissed the top of your head before pulling away to get a good look at you. He made a face as if to ask if you were ok. You nodded. He took your hand and pulled you into the living room. You sat down next to him. “She reminds me of Sarah sometimes. Ellie’s about the same age as her. She ran me through the ringer, raising that one.” He chuckled at the memories. “I wouldn’t trade it in for the world, being her dad, but you shoulda seen the amount of grief she put me through. Especially being a single parent.” He wiped his hand across his face, letting it linger along the length of his neck. “One time, she snuck off to some skate park when I told her no. She was in this skateboarding phase. I bought her a customized skateboard for her birthday and she would practice using it up and down the driveway. She had barely learned that little flippy trick when she asked me to take her to the skate park. I told her no because it looked like it was for experienced skaters. I wanted her to practice more first. To say the least, she was mad at me. She told me she was staying after school for the science club, but she really went to the skate park with some friends. By the time I figured out where she was, I found her lying in the grass, holding her arm in pain. Turned out she had a hairline fracture in her...radius?” He pointed to the bone on his arm. You nodded that it was in fact called radius. “I grounded her for lying to me, but sometimes I wonder if I should have taken her to the park. I mean I’m no expert on skateboarding, but at least I could have been there to supervise; make sure she wasn’t on one of those tough looking ramps.”

“Did you ever take her skateboarding after she healed up?”

“After the cast came off, she switched interests to soccer. I installed a shelf on one of her walls to hang the skateboard on. Better that than being stuffed under her bed. Soccer was her life though. She made new friends from the team, won titles, learned tricks with the ball. Me and Tommy were regulars at her games. I was...am proud of her.”

You smiled as you envisioned his memories. “Did she give you grief with that as well?”

He nodded in an exaggerated way. “Oh yeah, but I’m sure I used to give her grief too.” You lifted your eyebrows with desire for him to elaborate. “I may or may not have argued with the coach and ref on a few occasions regarding plays.”

“You never dated any of the soccer moms?” You teased.

He scoffed. “Most of them were married and the ones who weren’t, I sent Tommy’s way instead. He wasn’t mad at it.” The two of you chuckled. “I did flirt with a few, married or not, so I could get my hands on some of their homemade baked goods.”

“I was under the assumption that soccer moms made food for everyone.”

“They did, but I still wanted a few more cupcakes for the ride home.” He admitted as you laughed. “Listen, I had a busy life. I didn’t have much time to hone my baking skills, so it was nice to be able to have homemade cakes and cookies for a change.

“Well, if you wanted cookies, that’s all you had to say! I can show you how to bake right now.”

“It’s late.” He reasoned.

“It’s never too late to feed your sweet tooth.” You rebutted as you pulled him back into the kitchen.