#she got so many treats while we were out and now shes getting a pigs ear for being the bestest most magickal fruit

[x22817]

We went to the store for drugs n nugs and ended up having such a polarized experience I have to document it.

It's Thanksgiving week, so of course it's a madhouse. At the pharmacy, a man and his kid (preteen ish) came into the line behind us. This guy immediately starts explaining to his kid about Bean being a SD. I groan internally until he starts practically reciting the ADA. Not what I was expecting. It really did give me a little sense of pride when he went on to say how obviously "highly trained" and "attentive" Hek is. Walking through the pandemonium, we had one little old lady come up to us, get in Hek's business, and ask me if Hek would bite her. I really wanted to respond, "If she was going to bite you, she already would have," but I refrained myself and just said, "no, she won't, she's a service dog."

Bean made someone scream and run away when we came around a corner to top off the whole outing. I understand the "scary dog" look we have going on, but things like that are a little ridiculous.

The only aisle that wasn't busy was the pet aisle. We took a breather for a minute while Bean got to pick out her pigs ear.

[euphoria-looney]

Thank you... for playing with me.

Pt.1

Bake No Hana (Nightcord at 25:00 ft. Kaito)

"It's finally come around, my punishment for having been born. In order to put an end to it, I stop breathing— Ah, I'm fed up with this."

I approached the girl who chose me last round, Penelope. I called her Penny though, and thought the name was cute.

It suits her.

Last round I wasn’t sure exactly what I was going to do, but she pulled me into her group, and even against the male group, we won!

It didn’t help that crunch that echoed across the room each time a team lost though, Astro has been colder than ever and the old guy got separated from me before I could follow him. I think it was fate that we all ended up on the same team.

I’m trying to sound positive because, at this moment in time, I have gone too far to give up now, whether that be hope or, the sick truth, for the money.

My mind is always racing and is looking for the truth that I’m hiding from myself. 

I’ve killed people intentionally or not, just to keep going for a cash prize that I’m not even sure I’ll win.

This isn’t the situation I wanted to be in.

I’ve said that line so many times.

When I was 5 and my mother ran away, that wasn’t the situation I wanted to be in.

When I kept getting neglected and abused in the manor, that wasn’t the situation I wanted to be in.

When I got kicked out at the mere age of 18, That wasn’t the situation I wanted to be in.

Getting into debt and sinking deeper into the amount needed to pay back, I bet you can think of the line I said next.

And now with all the corpses I’ve been near, the money dropping into the pig, the masked soldiers that looked upon you with their weapons, was this really how I was going to be free from debt? Was this the situation I wanted to be in?

“Hey!” Penny turned to look at me.

“Want to pair up?” I tilted my head at her.

“Why should I?”

“I don’t picture you going around here and begging these jerks.” I looked around at our options.

“Wouldn’t that bother you?” I raised an eyebrow to her.

“Bothering me or not isn’t the concern, winning or losing is.” Despite that, she didn’t make any plans to move away from me.

I cheered fondly at her.

“Then play with me, I’ll make sure you’ll win.”

“What will you do?”

“Whatever it takes.”

“... What do you see in me?” 

“Well, I wanted to ask you that.”

“You were someone who looked like they would come with me.”

“I feel the same way.” I raised my hand offering a handshake.

She took my hand, so warm compared to how she acted, and I tightened the grip before releasing her hand.

I’m glad we got the teams out of the way before the timer ended.

—

Third POV

“Alright, there's a five-minute break before the games start, my good sirs. Do whatever you’d like before coming back to meet up and enjoy the show, they’ll be playing marble games.” The frontman announced before everyone dispersed.

“What was that imbecile thinking, joining a game like this? She even had the option to leave and she chose to come back?!” Damian scoffed, rolling his eyes out of agitation.

“They did…” Duke murmured.

“No, they didn’t.” Damian looked at Duke as if he were mad.

“Yes, they did, a while back? You were there and berated them for acting like their mother…” Duke rebutted.

“That must’ve felt so humiliating…”

Dick rubbed his arm.

“... she was probably terrified to face you again, especially with how you treated her…”

Damian piped down after that.

“You’re not any better than us, Duke. You also shunned them away,” Tim said, defending himself and the others.

“I’m not saying I’m better than anyone and this doesn’t excuse what I did but all of you guys made it known through the whole manor that she was just like her mother, so greedy for money that even when she had too much she wanted more, is that what we’re seeing in front of us though?! A girl who's so loaded but still wants more?!” That left Tim speechless and guilty.

“I know what it’s like to be financially unstable, obviously after losing my parents and trying to find them it wasn’t easy, and it didn’t make it any easier with not even a penny in my pocket, so these people “killing themselves for a little money” even though it’s a life or death situation, that’s no different then being “free” out there, especially not in Gotham. So when Bruce rescued me and treated me with kindness and support, I thought that all his kids got this treatment, but now you guys want to berate her and call her an idiot but she was forced into this position…”

He turned to Bruce but was only met with the man looking away.

“Maybe when she left this game, she realized her life wasn’t meant enough and came back to this dehumanizing environment, she didn’t come for us to help her because of the memories of last time, she probably was so nervous always walking on eggshells around us that the moment we rejected her she knew that this was her only option.”

Jason knew it wasn’t targeted specifically at him, but at one point, he knew he had a bond with [name], that innocent kid with those cute bug eyes and that gummy smile. They had something special. Then he died and came back with the news. At that moment, he couldn’t help but feel betrayed by [name]’s mom. With everything that had happened to him,, he had changed his character, so with no one to blame…

Well, you are your mother’s daughter.

Doesn’t the saying go ‘like mother, like daughter?’

Also, the situation didn’t help with him constantly not talking to her, you’d have understood the feeling he got when she came to the manor after being kicked out just to beg for money?

He seriously could not blame the situation on you, did he, or did he forget that he contributed to it too?

The ignoring, the sneering, the insults, how one looks from the person she trusted the most could shatter her heart.

And of course that would be the first conversation she had with you... You didn’t talk to her.

“Well, did you guys hear what she said to that other girl, seems she has no plans-”

A knock interrupted the chat.

“I’m sorry sirs, but the games are starting. May I have your bets?”

“240”

“Wow, all of you, just in case she ever loses, would you guys like to buy her body? I assume you’re family and had an interest in that girl?”

“You!-” Damian was stopped by Bruce, who also had his hands clenched in anger.

“Thank you, that would be appreciated.” Smiled Bruce.

“Of course, and I didn’t mean you lose the bet, it’s just that the odds are against some players and good for others.” The Frontman nodded before heading off.

“Don’t worry, guys. Just hang on. I’m finding the location as fast as I can,” Oracle said through the earpiece before they left for the lounge.

Their nice, comfortable lounge.

—

If I am ready to die, why not know a little bit more about the person I’m spending my last moments with?

“You know~ since the last Joker attack nothing has been this tragic…”

“What game are we playing?” No small talk then… but that’s okay.

“Dang, you’re cold as ice.”

“What game are we playing, girl?”

“You tell me. These games are probably only known to these oldies, tell you what let’s make our own game, ten marbles we could do anything with that.

“So let’s… end this game in a single round.” I looked down at my lap.

“All or nothing. A simple bet.” I looked back at her again with my stupid smile that showed my gums and tilted my head.

It was something I was used to doing a lot as a kid.

I don’t know why I’m acting like this, maybe it’s because my misery will finally end.

That took a dark turn. Let’s get back on track.

“Don’t tell me you’d… rather do what they’re doing?” 

We looked at the old guys behind Penny, throwing their marbles that hit against each other. What was the purpose of the game?

Get the other players' marbles out before they do.

“Okay. Playing what then?” 

I huffed in amusement. 

“What’s with the hurry?” 

“You’re just dying to kill me, huh?” I teased

That was a rhetorical question, we both knew it…

At least I knew it was.

“We’ve got a lot of time on our hands, and we’re playing one round. What’s the rush?”

“What are we gonna do before then?”

“Talk” It had been a while since I’d done that with somebody in this hellhole.

“About what?” 

“Things we never told anybody about I guess.”

“One of us is gonna die, so… it doesn't matter what we tell each other. No one can really embarrass themselves anymore. Okay?”

—

“How long have you been in Gotham? It isn’t a place where one would particularly reside.” We were both sitting at the stairsteps at this point.

I started with a question.

“Just been here since I was born, my mom found the “love of her life” here. She said we’d enjoy it”

“Did you?”

“...” She didn’t reply but rather stayed silent.

“Your family, are they still here with you?”

“My brother.”

“Any parents?”

“My father died getting shot in some back alleyway, at the wrong place, at the wrong time.”

“And your mom?”

“She got high off of drugs when she lost my dad, she overdosed not too long ago and her family took her away from us blaming us for the reason she suffers. I don’t know if she’s still alive and recovering or dead.”

“Where’s your brother now then?”

“In a shelter,” she hesitated. I was asking more than giving, but she still replied, and that was enough for both of us.

“If you win this and get the money, what will you spend it on?”

“Buy a house for me and my brother, then take us somewhere else, Gotham is no place for us, even if the top schools are here, there’s a price to pay for everything.” She was right about that.

I scoffed a little bored of that answer.

“Hey~ with this amount of money you could buy that and so much more- is there anywhere you’d like to travel?”

“Houma.”

“Houma?”

She nodded her head.

“It looked peaceful and had lower crime rates than most places. It didn’t look like Gotham at all.”

I couldn’t help but huff at that.

“Hey. Don’t you think you should dream bigger, huh? Do Keystone City. Hold on– Go to Metropolis instead. They even have lower crime rates than most.

Penny finally turned her head around and looked at me for once out of this entire conversation.

“Metropolis?”

“Yeah, the Superfam lives there. You know the Kryptonite versions of the Batfam in Gotham?”

It seems she didn’t care much about superheroes which made me giggle.

“Really?”

She shook her head.

“Oh no, then we have you fix that, we’ll have a girl’s night out every week in Metropolis and get to meet the Superfam in the flesh, okay?” 

She looked away at that.

“Oh, guess we can’t both leave here?”

…

“Back when my father was alive he was the perfect guy, he was too generous for his good, I was too naive as a kid rushed into the room where he laid to rest before he was covered and saw his gorey body,” Penny told me.

“The first body I saw was this poor kid on the side of the street abandoned just like me, he died inhaling too much of Scarecrow’s gas.”

“Abandoned?”

“Oh! I haven’t told you my backstory, it’s not as tragic as yours, no. My mother married a billionaire and took cash before running away without me when I was five. Everybody blamed her actions on me, making me feel too shameless to ever ask for cash, then I got kicked out at eighteen and took too much debt for regular supplies and school debt then landed here.”

“I wonder if I had money, what would I do… Go to Houma with you?”

A silence ensued between us making me look away.

“Sorry, I forgot again.”

As the timer started running out the sun kept going down even lower. Penny stood up.

“Let’s do this.” I smiled at that.

—

Third POV

By now, some VIPs were disappointed not because they had lost money but because they had lost the guessing game of lives.

Others were happy with the result.

But for our main characters well, can you guess how they’re feeling?

Unnerved, whatever [name] was planning. Are they going to win this game, or will they lose? Would the Wayne family see their dear family die with a bullet to the head?

Bruce never meant to treat you like that, but you’d have to understand your mother betrayed him, and you were there… and you didn’t do anything.

Oh, what could you have done? 

Alert the whole house of her leaving? Then what?

It was never your fault, you did everything you could to appease them, they just never forgive your mother.

—

We stood up passing a dead body and went to an “empty” land.

“Whoever can roll it farther than the other person wins, okay?”

I let Penny get the head start.

I held my marble in my hand.

Pondering.

I didn’t have much to live for, did I?

I had no friends, no family, and nothing to my name other than the daughter of a gold digger or the bastard child.

What’s the point?

I I guess this game was pointless after all.

I let the marble slide off my hands landing a few inches from my foot.

Straightening my posture I feel Penelope approach me.

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?” She grabbed me by the collar of the tracksuit.

“You win, I lose.”

“Stop. Why the hell would you try to do that?” She still kept a firm hold on me.

“Butter fingers, what can I say?” I chuckled, scrunching my eyebrows at her.

“Making sure I won. Is that what this is?”

She slammed me into the wall again.

“Did you think I would be grateful? Throw it again.” She demanded.

“And I still wouldn’t be able to win.” I kept my smile on.

“Ugh, don’t be dramatic and let me die in style, hm?” 

This was the reality, and if one of us had something memorable to do once we had gotten out of there, it would be her. Wouldn’t it?

“[name], that’s bullshit! Stop acting cool and just do a real throw!”

I sighed no longer keeping my damn smile on my face.

“I have nothing.”

“What?” Penelope didn’t let go, though. It seemed like she would allow me to talk a bit more.

“You have a reason to get out of this place… I don’t.”

Penelope kept breathing shakily. 

“I thought hard about what I would do, over and over, nothing. It’s like a dead end.” I felt myself tearing up.

I didn’t want to burst out in tears, I hadn’t done that in a while. 

I’ve always hated getting emotional, but it feels like a relief to get it off my chest.

“If anybody has a reason to go back out still there, it’d be you.” I laughed despite tasting the salty tears that leaked from my eyes.

Penelope didn’t seem the type to get emotional either, though that didn’t stop her from letting a couple of tears flow.

“Don’t die here, go out there… and find a place where you and your brother can reside. Far from any crime preferably to Houma.” I chuckled.

…

As Penelope walked away, I didn’t want that to be how our interaction ended, no, not like this pathetic goodbye.

“Penny!” I wasn’t sure she’d respond to that nickname but to my surprise, she stopped.

It made me widen my eyes briefly before going into a somber expression.

I held in my tears at that moment, stabilizing my voice.

“Thank you… for playing with me.” I was glad the guard let me have my closure, you don’t think they’d have the heart with their roles.

BANG

Player 240, eliminated.

—

The blood sprayed out before her body collapsed onto the ground with a sickening thud.

This wasn’t the situation anybody wanted to be in.

— 

That’s it for now. In the next part of this option, the Batfamily will suffer and have flashbacks, as one does. If anyone has any advice on how to write some scenes, that would be spectacular.

I’ll be working on a request and then my So Much More series before getting to Astro! And then maybe the next part of this, so don’t expect it anytime soon. That’s all from me!

Taglist time! ❤

Also, I love the idea and from fic from both @jellyfishmoon97 and @not-weirdoshrek and a new addition that I'm super happy I bumped into @alilobsessive.

@holysoulsweets @sh4rk-k1d @sillysealsies @loomspuddle @cantfindmelol @alwaysholymilkshake @leitor-sonolento @randomlyappearingartist @beyondblissxoxo @sirairi @yhin-gg @frankie-moon3 @welpthisisboring @yokesmam @bat1212 @enchantingarcadecreation @twismare @delias-stuff @ladylupuscrow @ferchu0406 @c4xcocoa @cruzerforce4256 @anonymoushehehehe @godoreo22 @blerp-22 @facelessisnthere @sirenetheblogger @themightybee4067 @boredselkie @tiffyisme3760 @random4137 @midnightgrimoire @mybones537 @chaoticmoontimetravel @jsprien213

I think that's everyone who wanted to be tagged, I hope I didn't spell any wrong and tag the wrong person.

[risingsunresistance]

would you believe me if i said this is skyblock fanart 😭

explanation below for anyone interested. it's a bit long 🐖

basic explanation for people who dont go here. or the tldr: the rift is a separate dimension in hypixel skyblock where reality and time itself do not function the same. the other npcs tend to take on different forms in there. this is my interpretation of what might happen to techno if he were to travel into the rift based on some other theories about the place and my own headcanons for him

less basic explanation for the rest of you: ok so. first thing to get out of the way, the rift isnt completely separate from the main reality. SOME of your own thoughts and feelings influence the way you exist in the realm and the way the realm itself behaves. not very many people seem to take on forms ENTIRELY divorced from themselves, save for maybe enigma (we dont know who he was originally, if he was anyone at all)

but i have a theory backed up by absolutely nothing that your rift form is mostly influenced by three different things: your inherit magic, your ability to control and manipulate that magic, and your overall stability. stability will look different from person to person and you dont always know if someone is stable or not just by talking to them. even something as simple as a phobia might change them drastically. still, the rift is unstable itself, so sometimes people get altered horrifically even though they were perfectly fine

my main points of reference for this are that some of our most altered characters are some who check all these boxes, and some who are relatively normal dont check any of them. lathrop/porhtal is split into a bunch of eyes and has one human-looking form that sits motionless at the wither cage and doesnt speak. we know he was incredibly magical, eventually got a great grip on said magic, but was also very very unstable. the wizard is very magical, is a master of said magic, and is pretty well put together. he is nearly unchanged in the rift. barry is the same as the wizard but went a bit nuts before he left, so in the rift he seems just a bit... off

on the opposite side of things, maddox is someone who we are told has ZERO magic in him. the only thing that changes in the rift is the fact that his helmet is red now. kat has never shown us any magic and seems to be pretty normal, so she's also just a different color palette in the rift and happens to have a weird job

anyways back to techno. (btw if you're reading this and happen to not be a regular here this is a mix of headcanons and "canon" but im treating it ALL as real and true facts for the sake of this drawing ok). he could be one of the most magical people here... but he has no idea how to use any of it on command. if you asked him if he possessed any magic, he would say no. his healing ability, while it is VERY strong, is passive, and he was only able to gather magic during the resistance fight with the help of the wands we were given. but he was able to gather a lot of magic during that fight, concentrate it, and release it all on his own. not many people could handle that. he also worships the blood god and has its blessing, and has some connection with spirits in the form of the voices / chat / whatever you wanna call them. there might be even more to him, who knows

so that's already a setup for disaster, but what about his stability? well he's constantly followed by a chorus of thousands of voices all screaming at him and god itself might be hanging around in that mix, led a war against the server staff and a dictator that lasted for 2 years skyblock time, and did the whole potato war thing which was ~70 years server time iirc. i wouldnt really call him stable KFJHG

so what you end up with is a very violent beastly thing, nearly unrecognizable save for the fact that he's still a pig (my first point, you dont become a COMPLETELY different thing under most circumstances). i think he's entirely out of control of himself and would not remember a trip to the rift. a stability elixir might help him in terms of being more aware of himself (i think sirius really downplayed what that potion does lmao it's not just a fun drink, he wanted to guarantee himself some control over his mind while he was conducting his "business" in the rift) but there's no saving the physical form

i wanted him to be beastly to mimic what happens to "dante" in the rift (the memory of dante, it's complicated. but dante and bacte are most likely two different people who are also the same person). yeah he was a big slime in the overworld, but now he's more monstrous. he also doesnt speak, he might not have any idea what's going on. same could be said for techno in a way. of course this is related to dante, what else would you expect from me :P i want to see them fight at the colosseum so bad...

------------

but anyways THIS WAS SO FUN AAAAAUGH IM SO GLAD I FINALLY GOT THROUGH THIS. MY IPAD FINALLY DIED AFTER AN ENTIRE DECADE IN THE MIDDLE OF LINING IT AND I HAD TO CONTINUE ON A NEW TABLET WHEN I'VE SPENT MY ENTIRE LIFE DRAWING WITHOUT A PEN... THIS DRAWING WAS CURSED KJFDHGK

here's a version without chat and the blood god so you can just see the big hog

and here's my old concept from july of last year for comparison :P

initially in the post for the old sketch i said he was based on what i think would happen if he got a hold of some sulphur. i actually think that would be about the same as his rift form because sulphur seems to do very similar things under certain circumstances. always corrupts your form, can sometimes make creatures MUCH larger (matriarch, kuudra, magma boss), heightens your magic (mage outlaw), and can make you incredibly violent (barbarian duke)

bye i hope i tricked someone into reading a really long skyblock theory post expecting more info about techno FKJHG

[unsuredreamer]

😂honestly I can see the random hook up because I personally think that Bridget was really in love with Ella but when Ella ditched her at castle coming it wasn’t just the prank that hurt her but also the fact she lost a friend and even a crush🤷‍♀️.

As for the consequences, I think the prank does happen but it’s not Ella who does it anymore (I’m basing this off of ‘get your hands dirty’). We know Ella doesn’t like royalty and we see why but watching how Ella reacted to Chloe when she asked about Red being bad and what to do it seems like at the end of the song Ella had also sort of had a change in perspective (this is just my theory). I do though think that Ella slowly becomes friends with some of the villains whether that’s Uliana’s crew or a different group but that she also never really gets with Charming (if she does I would imagine he gets pulled to the dark side or he is well 💀). To continue on this idea that they definitely changed something and not in a good way I think Chloe doesn’t necessarily fail to exist but she gets treated like Cinderella and Chad is well Chad but mainly lived with his grandparents. I believe that Ella remembers Chloe and as Chloe got older she realized she looked more and more like the girl she went to school with and so she definitely starts treating her different. As for Bridget yeah she’s nicer but something tells me she also knows something (mind you I don’t remember how the looking glass works if it’s just for people of the royal bloodline or not but while Bridget was looking for the cook book even with headphones on it wouldn’t surprise me if she had taken them off briefly and listened to what Red and Chloe were talking about or even looked at it after they left). Another theory that they won’t do but would be fun is if they actually brought the teen Bridget and Ella from the past back and now have to find a way to take them back before their moms disappear. Or there’s another favorite theory (there’s so many I can’t decide which I like more) but one theory is that Uma was actually supposed to be Uliana’s daughter but was given to Ursula when Uliana was well I’m assuming beheaded by the QoH and while Uma is not 100% different she might definitely have some differences and Uliana is still alive and kicking. The last theory is that when they got back Chloe’s life changes so much that she either fails to exist or is no longer the Chloe that Red got to know.

Wow that was a lot of rambling but there are so many ways the writers can and could have taken this but those are my theories and some that I actually sort of liked.

For my own story I’m definitely using this idea that Ella is now the villain and Chloe is truly in her Cinderella era and the OC will have to be like her Prince Charming (but not for long 👀) because I’m using the idea of shapeshifters and how magic that alters the physical or mental state of shifters just doesn’t work (so like memory wiping or turning someone into a pig or toad just doesn’t work on them but this is only when they are wearing a crystal necklace or ring or something) so the OC sort of knows that something is off. And then we proceed to all three going back in time again and having to figure out what really happened to the QoH and what happened to Ella🙂.

You really shouldn’t have asked… I could do theories for hours🥲😭.

-🤺

As much as I loveeee the idea of Bridget being in love with Ella (the fact that she was so merciful just because of a mean prank in school just doesn't sit right with me. And also so her being visibly hurt by Cinderella in the present, implying she was so much 2 faced as others in the song) we wont get two gay ships 😭 especially a mother daughter duo. But i do agree that Bridget might have been in love with Ella and that's why she was so deeply hurt.

I've been theorizing about Ella being the one to pull the prank too, but after rewatching some scenes she kind of looks like she adores Bridget too much to be able to pull such shit out. I'd lean towards more of the theory that she loves her back.

I love the one you got going, Cindy for sure has something change in her after the song. As for ger being a but more villainous- I'd love to see that!

Something like a little teen beach movie 2 would be fun (I need to see more Ruby as Bridget) although they will more likely be going back into the past to fix something they fucked up (Morgie getting the cookbook?¿)

Honestly I think Chloe might change a bit but it'll start kicking off slowly, might be even that their memories start slowly changing but so slowly they are like fuck i don't want to remember a life I've never had we need to go back and fix this.

I want to see the fic sooo bad, I have a feeling its so so so good as how you describe it to me now 😭

I love you rambling so don't worry my love 🫶🏻

Im glad i have someone to talk to about this like this much.

[garbagefarm]

Mutucule Farm #17

2023-05-15, session #17 of Mutucule Farm! Year 2, Summer 11 through Summer 22!

Cast:

me (@mothmute​)

Belle (@snacco​)

Cam (@amanitaspore​), sadly absent

Erin (@salamand3rin​)

Highlights include but are not limited to:

Summer 11:

I’m still in the pocket of Big Hog

Sturggling with the Sturgeons

Luau!

you weren’t just gonna eat a raw football, were you?

The governor seems a little hungry...

You ever eat soup so good you start vibrating?

we made so many friends! achievement soup!

Night farming! Didn’t have time to water everything in the morning!

Pompkin is your orange bastard? he’s our orange bastard

Summer 12:

Married life treating us well, Belle and I get stardrops! Erin is excluded.

so much friendship, we all get mailboxes full of recipes. spaghetti, salmon dinner, etc.

I go to continue funding the Hogs instead of housing upgrades ...

walk in on Shane drinking himself to death— I watered him, so he’s gonna grow up big and strong

... but I can’t get more Hogs until the barn upgrade finishes, whoops!

Hey, beach box! ... full of bombs!

(Erin has been visited by the yardwork fairy IRL, her audio is spotty for a while)

A train?? Erin lets me borrow Fella to go check it out. nothing.

Constable was stuck in a tree, but then he did a little shimmy and he got free

Evelyn is purchasing an octopus! —no fucking way, those things suck!

Summer 13:

Spirits have been displeased every day this session, must be ‘cause Cam isn’t here

Belle’s at level 9 farming, so she should harvest the crops (and choose correctly)

New pigs! Sheriff, Deputy, S.Trooper (”StateTrooper” wouldn’t fit), and Special Agent

set hogs to maximum!!

Cutscene with Kickflip— I go ahead and suggest experimental noise rock again, is there any point to suggesting anything else?

immediately get a second cutscene, wherein he gets an egg as a “snack” and drops it. Jody hears it from across the house and rushes to the scene of the crime, and gasped in horror; “This is absolutely terrible!”

I took the fall for him anyway— “no, the egg did.”

ANYWAY I was just here to give you some dumb soda

Belle finally got her axe together

“hey, what should I do today?” “it’s 8PM”

Erin considers making her house bigger to make room for Krobus, so he can come curl up in the corner and eat void mayonnaise straight out of the jar

Summer 14:

BELLE CHOOSES INCORRECTLY (nah that’s fine)

Pompkin is positioned for maximum obstruction; ConcernedApe clearly knows how cats work.

y’know, when the kegs were in the way, they were in constant use; now that they’re tucked neatly in the corner, nothing.

Erinbucks, making coffee

Belle loves Joja so much, she has her own Joja sign over her bed and everything

Summer 15:

Jodi wants a fish, the slimier the better

Kent wants a starfruit; “yeah, well, we all want things”

Pierre wants one (1) grape, so he can microdose on wine

Quest for the prismatic jelly!

Sebastian is fine with getting hammered, actually

Erin didn’t get the fish Jodi wanted, and now she’s anxious about holding up dinner and Vincent going hungry (see gallery)

Belle goes on a motorcyle ride with Sebastian (her husband), who says he “[doesn’t] normally bring girls here”

We conclude that Leah has both an ex-boyfriend and an ex-girlfriend, both named Kel.

Summer 16:

Accidentally gave Penny a cactus; she’s fine with this.

look, you don’t KNOW that my shirt was made with green little guy blood! it could be a vegan substitute!

bird wanders into the fire, emerges unscathed.

hey, know what fishers call the sewers? the carpal tunnel! 😎

Erin gets a soggy newspaper, but doesn’t tell us the soggy news

I spend all day in the mines hunting prismatic slime

Erin sacrifices herself for her coffee, but she didn’t even get the last one in, so it was all for naught.

Summer 17:

Pompkin clipping in the blueberries

Unethically sourced coffee; unfair trade; Erins were harmed in the making of this coffee.

I barely escape the mines with my life, after taunting the floating skulls one too many times

(and I almost go to Belle’s house instead of my own)

Summer 18:

back in the mines, I find a box of frozen tears. what’s the deal with those, anyway? whose tears are they?

Belle eats her pocket calamari

“where did that come from?” “I don’t understand the question”

no balrogs were harmed in the making of this film. they’re an endangered species, you know

Summer 19:

“just take the eggs and speak no more of this.”

Belle waters the goats; you don’t want your goat to dry out, do you?

Belle has collected 50 milk for my Purposes!

“don’t drink it all at once!” “but my bones would get SO STRONG!”

Camo pigs, hiding in the melons

(there’s a note in here about Jodi getting hammered, but I don’t remember the context. I feel like it might’ve been pam, actually?)

Can you imagine being a prismatic slime?

Summer 20:

oh right, my axe is ready, and probably has been for a few days

right, the milk! thank you!

Jas and Vincent meeting up without Penny, now that she’s a housewife

Penny probably left Jas in charge, Vincent is just like “I’m gonna eat dirt”

Erin is gonna get serial murdered!! (I jumped out wearing a mask)

I found the prismatic slime!

it’s late, so Erin just gets into bed with my wife.

Black? Phillip gave birth to a baby goat!!

named “lil phil”, got it in one!

default name was apparently “zenoze”, which kept sounding like “the nose” to me

Summer 21:

Penny watered some crops :)

Lewis wants truffle oil and says not to ask why, which IMMEDIATELY makes it so much more suspicious

I got two prismatic slime so I’m trying to figure out a way to preserve one of them for posterity

“maybe what’s his named, in the place" will buy it? (no, Marlon doesn’t buy it)

I try putting it on a table, which doesn’t work; and leaving its image on a sign, which does work (for now)

I go to make the delivery and try not to get eaten by the wizard

(“he doesn’t make it quick” “well, you wouldn’t want him to”)

Axe swap!

—“and my axe!” gets me a good grade in references, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve

Penny wants to redecorate and gives me a choice of some themes...

I mean it’s gotta be pirates, right?

(she does want me to move my stuff though so this is a note to remind myself to do that)

after not being sure what to do, it’s suggested that I go pick up after all my pigs, leaving truffles all over the place

Belle telepathically (bellepathically) offers me trash bread from a dozen paces away

Summer 22?:

we have monster musk now, we can make ourselves stinky! (see gallery)

also bombing everything, of course

TO-DO:

Upgrade coop?

Upgrade tools??

Upgrade houses???

Other construction? (slutch? fish ponds?)

at this point, I think any redesigns will be waiting ‘til winter

Bundles! ugh, we need a duck feather

Cam still needs to propose!

Stardrops!

I need to clean house a little for Penny’s benefit (Pennefit)

Gallery: (courtesy of Erin)

Abigail hanging out with Fella, while Erin fishes

Portrait, holding our new monster musk axe body spray

[the-firebird69]

This is a adjoining dietrations Castle and he was a vicious murderer of Christians and a lot of people think it was Tommy f and they would be correct and he found Christians to be very very and disdainful, he used them up and got rid of them and they were not Giants they're just followers of Jesus and they're kind of weird have Stacy and disorganized and then a shot with and a very hot temper you want to find out why and they thought they would have his power if they followed him and he thought it was a bunch of malarkey and it more or less is so that was going on back then and a lot of people were put to death because of it and because of their beliefs it's not really legal to do that to people and they weren't getting any power but he had power from it and he used it to grow a family and he had a huge family Jesus Christ had a gigantic family after the crucifixion and he became very large and that he's and the Roman empire detected it and that was Max and they didn't did not pursue him that much and Tommy F wants to know why he found out that they have some sort of agreement and the agreement was to war on him not on each other cuz I had a huge problem with him so he started pursuing both and jesus' aside was not so big well the inevitable happened and Jesus was attacked and is too small and the max wouldn't come to his aid and they went after Christians during this process and you can see Tommy f is using it trying to use it as code to go after hours and he wants to kidnap them and question them and such so he finds a lot of Christians and he got his ass kicked a lot and he didn't find any of us and he's still doing it to this very moment and it is the same as it was back then almost except his attitude is worse and that's hard to imagine. Back then they're going at it with Tommy f cuz they can hear him hissing and saying stuff about them but they were back then they haven't changed and so forth and he's mean to our son because he's an old s*** and it's set in his ways the sun tried to tell him look I'm not Dave and didn't work for the most part the guy is an unstoppable a****** and we had to step in tons of times make sure our son was okay now we're going to step in and watch Tommy die. You open this big fat mouth to us one too many times. So going to spread his blood all over the ground and mop up his people with it, that's what it means. It started already. Everyday of every year we want to get back at him everyday and now those days are coming here and we want people who have been oppressed by him ruled over by him annoyed by him on board to get rid of him and right now. And there was a temple to Jupiter attached to his castle and it showed that there's a martyr in there and a tomb and so forth that's what he was saying he's saying he was going to treat him like Jesus and Saint John the Baptist he did that for a while and he wasn't the priest no he was and he kept on making stupid noises in church at him one day he found him dozing off I was trying to say the stuff out loud to him in front of everyone and said if you can't see it asleep awake during the sermon please leave so he left instead of being mean to his mom and she got cut in the kitchen and said we don't need this a****** let's get out of here don't have that looked at I don't trust him and so you left and then he played that routine in North Port. Some people see it it's just dirty little animal trying to keep up with our son and he can't. We're going to teach him a lesson they'll never forget and then he's going into the tomb forever and his worshipers followers and assistance will die as well.

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera there's mention of Jupiter elsewhere but this is what people were saying that they're going to do and a lot of them a lot of these idiots and diosinies the tyrant was saying it's the most and encouraged others. He's a pig and a loser and a moron and he's just a big bully. And we'll take him down as we already are but right now he has two planet toys with lasers and I need to be deactivated. Which teams did a good job and that ancient connotation is being visited right now by trillions and trillions of people he copied the temple inside and they made a statue inside 2 ft tall and send it to remember Tommy f by. It's the most sold statue in the history of mankind

[sunstaar]

Hello,

I love your writing style, and I would like to propose a writing idea of Kakashi x civilian reader. I dont know how requests work but here we go. :)

The civilian is a doctor in psychology, specialised in childhood traumas. She is a foreigner, came in to practice in Konoha, and opened her own practice. She is beautiful and intelligent, and would make any men fall in love with her,including our beloved Kashi. However,he was sooo shy to talk with her and would get nervous in her presence. He might experience love, a feeling strange to him. Sakura, works as her assistant and is fascinated by her knowledge and she sensed that Kashi is interested in her so she acted as the cupid to get them together👀💃🏼

My inspiration for the reader comes from 'Dr. Shanon Curry from Johnny Depps trial lol :))'

Thank youu🙇🏼‍♀️🙇🏼‍♀️🙏

Thank you so much for requesting! You are my first request, so I hope that I am doing this right :) I tried to make the reader as close to Dr. Curry as I could, based on the snippets I watched of her during the trial (Honestly, I'm not sure though if I got her personality down). I hope that's still okay! Since you didn't specify a time period, I just assumed that this takes place after the war. Enjoy!

Cupid's Arrow

Hatake Kakashi x fem&civilian!Reader

Word Count: 6,6k

Ao3

Summary: Kakashi can’t help but fall for Konoha’s new childhood trauma specialist and lucky for him, Sakura decides that it is time to play cupid for her sensei and new mentor.

Haruno Sakura was not stupid. No matter how often Ino-pig may have jokingly said that in the pinkette’s presence (and never meant it seriously, she knew as much about their ‘rivalry’), Sakura harbored more intelligence than the majority her peers did. Ever since she began her training under the Godaime Hokage and one of the Legendary Sannin, Senju Tsunade, she had become even more aware that her intelligence was not to be looked down upon. However, that aspect of herself was not what she was the proudest of, rather, it was the emotional intelligence she possessed that brought her the most pride.

While Haruno Sakura was undeniably brilliant, she was also very intuitive for her age. If she had to speculate now where her understanding of others and their feelings had come from, Sakura would first think back to when she had begun working in the Konoha hospital. Within the building with blindingly white walls, understanding how her patients felt was one of her priorities. While they sometimes wouldn’t speak, if they were especially proud and defiant, Sakura always had to know how she should treat the person who saught her out. That meant analyzing everyone down to their tiniest reactions and movement of a muscle.

It had come as no surprise to her that she had the one to been the first to notice their sensei’s unusual behavior. After seven years (and counting) of knowing Hatake Kakashi, Sakura liked to believe that she knew a lot about the man, or at least more than many others did. A majority of the time, he was a walking enigma. With his aloof personality and admirable intellect, the black piece of fabric that kept the lower half of his face hidden from the world, and his drive to succeed, Kakashi was sometimes unreadable, a blank piece of paper per se. Sakura assumed this stemmed from his time in the Anbu, one he had only talked about on the rarest of occasions.

When you had come along, her sensei’s behavior changed drastically. Suddenly, he became readable. Of all things happening, Sakura had not seen such a change coming along. Finding the source of the change had been easy enough as she only had to look for the center of Kakashi’s change in behavior, you.

(To say that a woman of all reasons caused his sudden change surprised Sakura deeply. Besides Hanare, she was pretty sure that she had never seen her sensei talk to a woman if it wasn’t for the sake of the mission.)

That meant in short: her sensei was inexperienced and based on his behavior around you, also both emotionally and socially constipated.

To get him to talk to you for more than a few meek minutes and without stumbling over every other word would be a challenge, so Sakura knew from the moment she saw her sensei practically drool at the sight of you. How he could aid in the winning of a war against a revived man but not talk to a woman, she did not know. Luckily for him, Sakura had assigned herself the position of the cupid that would bring two of her mentors together and hopefully, have them dating in at least a few weeks.

Sakura could understand why her sensei had fallen for you of all people. Undeniably, you, her current mentor and the new psychologist in Konoha were a true sight to behold. Standing at (height), one would think that you would blend in with the civilian population. Yet, with your (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes, you instead stood out in the crowds of many. Beautiful and intelligent, that was how Sakura would describe you. It was no wonder her sensei metaphorically lay at your feet, as other men also did.

That gave Sakura more the reason to get you together with Kakashi.

In your life, you needed someone genuine and someone who supported you and your career. From the many talks the two of you had shared during lunch break over a cup of coffee, Sakura was well aware of the fact that finding a suitable partner did not come easy to you. One would think that with men at your feet, you had free choice.

You were a brilliant woman who was in search of a just as brilliant man. She knew that you were looking for someone who matched your intellect, someone with whom you could talk about just anything and could hold intelligent conversations. At the same time, you were also quite the hopeless romantic she noticed. You wanted someone who would love you for who you were, not merely and primarily for your appearance. Luckily for you, Sakura would (again) assign herself to be the cupid that would bring you into a relationship that will make you happy.

Undoubtedly, in Sakura’s mind the two of you, Kakashi and (Name) would be a perfect match. That was if her plan succeeded.

Kakashi felt weird. Unlike when he got sick (a number of times he could count on both of his hands) or got injured on a mission and received a countless amount of wounds all over his body, the feeling he felt now was not unpleasant. Rather, it was the complete opposite of the word. For reasons unknown to him, it felt like there were butterflies roaming around in his stomach.

Despite combing through an obscene amount of medical books, Kakashi could not figure out on his own what exactly was wrong with him. Kakashi would consider himself to be well-versed in many subjects, but medicine was not one he could consider being on that list. There were reasons why Sakura was the one to patch him up after rough missions.

The easiest solution to his persistent problem was to book an appointment with the doctor and explain his problem to a medical professional who would most likely know what to do. Alternatively, he could also ask for Sakura to listen to him and have his overly intuitive students help him. For a few minutes when he felt especially desperate, he had considered both options. In the end, he ended up dropping both of them, considering the prospect to be too mortifying for him.

That meant that now Kakashi was stuck with his stomach feeling weird every time he saw you. It must be a freaky coincidence, of that he was sure. When he was around you, his heartbeat suddenly spiked and his cheeks became warmer, turning a shade of pink underneath the mask he always wore. His most mortifying case of whatever sickness he suffered from had been during a coincidental meeting. You had stepped closer to him, your breath fanning over his mask as you reached out with your hand to rest it over his forehead, staring at him with furrowed brows.

With the most melodic voice, he had ever speak to him you asked, “Are you sick, Kakashi-san?” Your voice sounded like the lullaby he had always yearned to her and one he could hear forever without getting sick of it. Merely the way you stood in front of him had him breathless.

Frantically, Kakashi shook his head. He could not find it within himself to reply verbally, his tongue feeling tied.

You hummed in response, lifting your hand from his forehead to feel your own before returning to rest on his again. “Are you sure that you are okay, you feel a little warm. Maybe you should get that checked out?”

Undeniably, you were a very intelligent woman with an intuition that could barely be matched (according to Sakura’s tellings), but were somehow oblivious to how his thought circuited in your presence. Wasn’t it obvious that he did not feel well? When you touched him, his hands felt sweatier than they did before and his mind turned dizzy.

Most likely due to some illness I caught, Kakashi mused in his thoughts. On the last mission, Tsunade-sama sent me on I must have caught something, probably. That must be it. Maybe body heat triggers it?

If Kakashi’s last assumption was correct (spoiler: it was not), then removing himself from your presence would be the only solution to his problem. Maybe then his body would calm down from the sudden increase in temperature and as a result, he would feel much better again.

To him, it sounded completely plausible in the literal heat of the moment.

Kakashi cleared his throat, taking a step backward from your prying hands. “I-I must apol-logize, (Name)-san. But I still ha-have business elsewhere for t-the day.”

You made him so nervous that he began stuttering and Kakashi could confidently say that he never stuttered … unless he spoke around you. In your presence, it felt like every nerve in his body was lit ablaze, making his skin tingle with your every delicate touch. The effect you had on him undeniable and at the same time, one he had to get away from to keep his dignity.

When you lowered your hand, you almost looked disappointed, but Kakashi was sure that he was imagining that. You had no reason to be disappointed, right?

“Oh, I didn’t mean to take up your time. I’ll get out of your way then.” You said, your voice now missing its previous lull. With your head held high, you rushed past the silver-haired man and disappeared into the growing crowd, nowhere to be found.

Kakashi looked after your retreating figure and held his hand as though to reach for you. Though, when he realized what he was doing, he quickly lowered it again. For an, to him, unexplicable reason, the funny feeling in his stomach subdued once he completely lost sight of your figure. More so, his stomach felt uncomfortably empty and not at all as it did before he saw you. At the same time, he felt bad for lying to you to end the conversation between the two of you. You had looked so excited to talk to him, after all.

With his head hung lower than it did before your coincidental meeting, Kakashi continued his way into the opposite direction of where you went, his mind completely occupied by thoughts of only you.

Sakura had a clear mission and it was not given to her by the Hokage. It felt a little wrong to consider her doings a ‘mission’, but there was not a better word for her current doings: playing cupid. In her mind, she even had already begun to hatch out a mission plan, consisting of a total of four steps that had to be completed as smoothly as possible.

Mission Cupid’s Arrow (to be completed)

Figure out how Kakashi-sensei feels for (Name)-san.(Note: he won’t say it outright, read his body language).

Talk about Kakashi-sensei with (Name)-san, if needed, read her body language.

Following the completion of the previous steps, make plans to set them up on a date.

Kiss kiss kiss!!!

Not that she would ever reveal the existence of the plan to anyone or ever mention it, but Sakura felt quite proud of how she put her mind to the problem she presented herself with.

Luckily for her, completing the first of the four steps had not been easy. It came without much thought that Kakashi-sensei was a difficult target when it came to topics such as feelings, relationships, and similar. Already when she was a Genin, he had been clueless about what to tell her when it came to her crush on Sasuke and preferred to stay out of her love life. It was no wonder to Sakura that he didn’t have an idea of how to lead his own.

Sakura began her mission by inviting her sensei out for a bowl of ramen, ‘to celebrate’, that was how she had put it when he asked her why.

“Celebrate what?” Kakashi had asked, his growing confusion evident.

She let out a faux thoughtful noise, leaning back on her heels as she spoke, “Oh, you know. A lot has happened since the war ended. You are going to be Hokage soon, I’m an assistant now. It would be nice to celebrate that.”

Sadly enough, Kakashi did not buy her explanation that easily. With a raised eyebrow he asked, “Why didn’t you ask Naruto or Sai to come along?”

Bingo. The man just played himself, she thought.

“Because Naruto eats my earned money faster out of my pocket than I earned it.”

The excuse was believable since it really was true. Faintly, she could remember the last time Team Seven had gone out to eat some ramen and how Kakashi had convinced poor Yamato to pay for all of them. While Sai held himself back and eased Yamato’s incoming pain, Naruto meanwhile had taken it as a chance to go all out. Out of Yamato’s mistake, they had all learned.

Kakashi chuckled. “Fair enough.”

That was not when her first step had ended, however. Next, she needed to figure out as much about her sensei’s state of mind toward you as she possibly could, preferably without sending him running before she got enough information.

(Quite frankly, Kakashi was the master in disappearing without a trace. One moment he would be sitting beside her, somehow making his ramen magically vanish without her seeing, and the next the chair beside her would be empty as would be the bowl. By then, he would also have paid for his and her meal, which she always found quite thoughtful.)

If necessary, Sakura was ready to trap the man somewhere to have her mission succeed. She only had his happiness (and also yours) in mind, both of you deserved it in her opinion. Sakura hoped that with each other, you two could find it.

Sakura stirred her chopsticks mindlessly in her ramen, putting on a thoughtful expression before letting out a loud sigh. It immediately caught Kakashi’s attention, who gave her a questioning look. 

“Say, sensei, what do you think is the most important thing in a relationship?” As soon as she saw the silver-haired man startle, she backtracked a little. “I mean, with everyone beginning to date, I’ve just been wondering what I am looking for and … I don’t know.”

Kakashi hesitated in his reply, “Are you talking about Sasuke?”

The topic of Sasuke was a delicate one to breach, especially for Sakura. It was why she sucked in a breath at the mere mention of the last Uchiha’s name. While that reaction came in subconsciously and not on purpose at all, it brought the conversation along.

Her sensei cleared his throat, the discomfort between them slowly growing. “I don’t know what to tell you Sakura …” He easily trailed off, pinching his nose.

His frustration was rolling off of him in waves and that was the moment Sakura had to strike. “Sensei, just be honest with me. Please.”

“Trust. I think that trust is an important thing. You have to be there for the other person and believe in them unconditionally. Trust them to …” ‘not leave you’. The words hung in the air, he did not even need to speak them. “You have to be honest with each other, about what you want and who you are, communicate. To be in a relationship means to be able to rely on each other and be there for one another. That is what matters.”

Time to be honest, Sakura did not think that her sensei had it in him to speak such words. In a sense, they did not only aid her with her secret mission but also struck a certain chord within her, so she wouldn’t forget what he said. Unsurprisingly, he was right with what he was saying.

(At the same time, Sakura couldn’t help but wonder if his addiction of Icha Icha influenced his ideals. It was a possibility.)

Sakura smiled at the man, knowing what it took for him to actually talk about his feelings, especially when it came to things like romance. “Thank you, sensei. This means a lot to me.”

Awkwardly, he rubbed the back of his head and smiled with his eyes closed.

For a moment, Sakura smiled brightly at her sensei, delighted that her mission was going well. That was at least until her green eyes fixated on the now-empty bowl that sat in front of her sensei. “You finished eating already?!” She screeched out.

“I did,” Kakashi confirmed with a regained nonchalance. “Why do you look so surprised, Sakura?”

No matter how much she planned ahead and thought that she was ahead of him, Kakashi always beat her by several steps.

“Huh?!”

Sakura couldn’t believe it! Underneath the table, she clenched her fists together to keep the quiet ‘Cha!’ from pushing past her lips. The pinkette would not give in that easily, she would not be defeated by a man over a decade her senior, who was so socially inept. It’d be ridiculous if he could just-

-with a poof, Kakashi disappeared from right beside her and Sakura could only stare in disbelief, her mouth falling open in shock.

“That bastard!” And with that, Sakura slammed her hand onto the table.

Little did Sakura know that the real challenge was yet to come.

You in comparison to her sensei were an absolute nightmare to figure out. Sakura should have expected it (really, she should have) that a psychologist was not an easy person to either read or figure out without the person willingly revealing information about themselves. Your profession was literally focused on knowing others' emotions and controlling your own, so it was no wonder that the questions Sakura thought were sly weren’t so sly at all.

She should have seen it coming, but stupidly enough, she didn’t. When she had asked you more non-work-related questions, it should have been obvious to her that you would become suspicious at the sudden onslaught.

“What’s this about all of a sudden?” You laughed, practically looking right into Sakura's soul. She knew that she was being watched carefully. “What’s with all the questions?”

Sakura had been able to shake you off of her trail, somehow. She herself was rather unsure of how she had managed to stop the reverse psychology and your onslaught of questions, but somehow she did. However, it was more likely that you let her off of the hook.

Unfortunately for you, that made Sakura even more determined to find a crack in your professional mindset, no matter how long it would take for her plan to succeed. She was not one to give up easily, after all.

Something was on Sakura’s mind, that much was obvious to you. Throughout the few hours that the two of you had been working together, it was obvious that the girl’s thoughts were somewhere beyond work. If she had a pencil in her hand, she would mindlessly drum it against the clipboard that she held in her other hand. When you asked her to write something down for you, whether it was reminders of lessons you two had to go over again or appointments you had to check, Sakura would make more spelling mistakes than she ever did before.

For some reason, your favorite (and only) assistant was distracted and you were determined to get to the bottom of it. The right time to do so would be the upcoming lunch break for the two of you, something you had been looking forward to since your third appointment of the day.

Your last patient before lunch break was a young boy of ten years. It broke your heart time and time again to see the young children come to your, to have their parent(s) or caretakers drop them off at your practice, and pick them up again later. No child of any age should be recquired to see a trauma specialist.

When the Fourth Shinobi War rolled around, everything had changed from one to another. Back in your homeland in Sunagakure, you did not have many patients to attend to. Due to the vast population of the smallest of the five Kage villages, your amount of patients was minuscule in comparison to the influx you were experiencing in Konoha. Save for the attack of Akatsuki years back and the murder of your Kazekage, there had not been much that drove patients into your practice, especially not young ones.

Following the end of the war, you had decided to take your practice elsewhere. It had been a suggestion of your young Kazekage, a charming boy by the name of Gaara, whose psychologist you had been for a short duration of his childhood. To strengthen the connection between the two villages, medical professionals of all kinds were sent to different villages to keep the exchange of information constant.

Whether it was a stroke of luck or else for you to be chosen, you could not exactly tell. The whispers following the selection had not been hushed. Conversations of nepotism and favoritism had reached your ears before you left, making you even more eager for your departure.

And now, now you were here in Konoha with an assistant who was obviously distracted. You could understand why that was the case. The profession of your and now also Sakura’s choosing carried many burdens with it, but you chose to bear the weight on your shoulders for the sake of others. No matter how heavy, you couldn’t just give in to it. The children needed you, after all. You couldn’t let them down, that wouldn’t align with your conscious. That was also why you needed Sakura at her full concentration, to avoid you in your mission to hopefully help these children.

Since lunch break rolled around, you decided that it would be the perfect time to have a conversation about what was bothering the pinkette.

Watching your assistant, you let out a small sigh and leaned back in your chair, crossing your arms over your chest. “What’s on your mind, Sakura-chan?”

She did not answer immediately and instead bit her lip, falling into deeper thought. You were pretty sure that she did not even hear you speak, never mind asking her a question.

“Sakura?”

In her seat, Sakura was visibly startled by your voice. “Oh! Sorry (Name)-san, I didn’t mean to get distracted.”

Another thing you liked about her was her good manners. She was always one to apologize for something that could happen to anyone, you found that to be quite endearing.

You let out a laugh, shaking your head at the dazzled expression your assistant wore. “Don’t worry too much about it, Sakura-chan. We all get a little distracted sometimes. Now tell me, what’s on your mind that bugs you so much?”

Sakura let out a groan, tilting her head back in a gesture of annoyance. “Was I that noticeable?”

You pretended to think about it before replying, “Yes. Couldn’t even not see that if I tried.”

She let out yet another groan and buried her face in her hands, obviously embarrassed.

You went to comfort her by placing a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it once softly with a reassuring smile. “It happens to the best of us,” You laughed, faintly remembering doing the same as her. “but seriously, what’s got you so unfocused? This isn’t like you.”

Sakura took a deep breath and removed her face from her hand, sitting up straight in her seat again. It was now or never. She did not even have to will a flush to her cheeks as it came along with her embarrassment about being caught slacking.

“Well, (Name)-san, I was just, uh, thinking about … whatitwouldbeliketobeinarelationship.”

Confused, you blinked at her. “Can you repeat that? I don’t think I understood.”

“I said that I was thinking about whatitwouldbeliketobeinarelationship.”

Now it was getting a tad bit ridiculous.

“Sakura. Focus.”

“Right, sorry,” Again, Sakura straightened in her seat. She rubbed her neck, obviously embaressed. “It’s a bit embarrassing … during work, I know I shouldn’t think about non-work-related things, but (Name)-san, I just- I couldn’t help but think about what it would be like to be in a relationship.”

That was random, you thought.

“Oh?” You were unsure of what to say. “Is it about that boy … what was his name again? Sasuke, right?”

You could see Sakura visibly cringe at the name and draw in a sharp breath before nodding. “Yes.”

There wasn’t a lot that you knew about the last of the Uchiha, Sasuke, but what you knew was enough. He was a boy your young assistant had a crush on since an early age (the academy, you believe) and someone she held close to her heart. About him, she had told you a few things and hesitated time and time again to speak his name aloud, only referring to him by his pronouns. It was evident that she had a difficult time dealing with his departure.

“I was just thinking about if one day, I might find someone to love, someone who loves me and be in a relationship. It’s a silly thought, I should focus on other things but I just can’t help it,” Sakura let out a laugh, one that sounded more self-loathing than anything else. Then, she looked straight at you. “What about you (Name)-san, do you have someone?”

“No,” You told her. “I don’t.”

“No offense, (Name)-san. But why is that?” Sakura asked, brows furrowed. “You are very beautiful and many others would agree with that. You must have many men practically laying at your feet.”

You found the fact that you had no significant life partner to be rather disappointing, maddening even. It wasn’t that you weren’t aware of the fact that there was an effect you had on men, because you were. You knew that you were a desirable woman, based on the fact that countless men had asked you out on dates already.

“I haven’t found the one for me yet.” You answered truthfully as you found no need to lie to her.

“‘The one’, who would be that for you?”

“A genuine man,” That is who you were looking for, your ideal partner. “Someone who looks past my appearance and puts in some effort to go on a date with me and that not to brag about it later to his friends. Someone trustworthy, someone honest, and someone I could talk to freely, without having to dumb myself done as we talk.”

The minuscule smirk tugging at Sakura’s lips confused you greatly, yet you let it slide, thinking that maybe you confused it with a smile. “You will find someone like that, don’t worry too much, (Name)-san.” Confidence in her words practically oozed off of them.

She made you wonder … “And how can you be so sure of that, Sakura-chan?”

Sakura grinned at you. “There are plenty of men that fit your description!”

“Such as …?” Admittedly, during your description, there was one man you could think of who matched it, who was a carbon copy of it, and yet you would not dare to utter his name in her presence. It was like wishful thinking to fantasize about a man such as him, to think of him as a suitor while he was practically untouchable for someone like you. A war hero and a psychologist were not on the same level, not even in the same field, and yet …

“My sensei Kakashi, for example!”

Your eyes widened drastically to resemble the ones of a doe. How did she hit the nail right on the head?

“Excuse me?!” You blurted out, panic invading your way of speaking. Your cheeks took on a light dusting of color, feeling warmer than they did before your conversation.

“You look flustered, (Name)-san,” Sakura leaned closer to you with a teasing smirk playing on her lips. “Is something the matter?”

You swallowed harshly to control your emotions. She was right, you really were flustered and you had to get yourself back under your own control. A few breaths later and you did not feel as light-headed anymore and leaned back in your chair to distance yourself from the noise pinkette.

Now was your time to strike back against her. “The thing that is the matter is that my lovely assistant is spending her time finding potential suitors for me instead of learning.”

That seemed to do the job as Sakura froze in her position, the smirk falling off of her pretty lips.

It was your time to be the one smirking. Quickly, you glanced over at the clock hanging in the doorway, almost signaling the end of your shared lunch break. “I liked the talk we had, really, I did, Sakura-chan. Now, however, it is time for us to resume our work.” You stood up and packed your bento lunch up, making sure not to leave anything behind.

With a heavy sigh and growling stomach, Sakura hurried after you.

Despite the horrendous turns her conversations with the two of you took, Sakura’s plan was perfectly set into motion. Not only did she manage to gather information about the two of you, but was now also able to judge whether you two would fit together or not. Intuitively, she came to the conclusion that her two mentors would do another well and be a good match, they just hadn’t realized that yet. That was what she was there for.

It was time to initiate step three of her ultra-secret mission.

“Come on, (Name)-san!” Sakura practically whined as she stood before you. “How can you just say ‘no’ to me?”

You had crossed your arms over your chest and looked at your assistant with a raised brow. “Easy as that: no.”

Sakura’s whining came to a sudden stop and she deadpanned, “Really?”

Admittedly, she had underestimated not only you but also your iron will deeply. Because of her miscalculation when it came to you, her plan was about to crumble right before her eyes if she could not stop that from happening.

“Listen, Sakura-chan, I appreciate the invite to go out to dinner together, but I must decline. How are you so sure that I do not have plans for myself this evening?”

The only thing that saved her right now was her crystal clear of a conversation you two had last week. “Because last week you said that this week you don’t have any plans and will only relax during your free time.”

Your mouth opened and your lips formed to imitate the letter o as you stared at her, saying nothing. A few times, you blinked, as though you were remembering the same thing she was remembering. Then, you lifted your hands in mock defeat.

“Alright, you got me,” You sighed and admitted with reluctance, “I’m not busy tonight.”

Excitedly, Sakura clapped her hands together. “Great! Congratulations, (Name)-san, I’ll make sure you are busy tonight, then.”

While trying to convince you, Sakura came to realize that you and her sensei had a few similar mannerisms, such as persistent doubt when it came to her intent.

“Again? But you have just invited me to dinner last week?” Kakashi asked, standing before her almost as a mirror image as you did an hour before.

If everything worked as intended, Sakura either created the best match ever (take that, Ino-pig!) or a double-edged sword.

“And?”

“And what?”

“What’s so bad about that?”

“You cannot buy me dinner every week, Sakura. It’s a bit much.”

“Can’t I spend some time with my sensei?” Sakura could see that he was becoming suspicious of her and that was not a good sign, not at all.

Kakashi appeared to be thinking carefully about his next words and that made her quite nervous. The feeling that welled up in Sakura was beyond nerve-wrecking.

“Sakura, I appreciate your kindness, but-”

She would not let him ruin her plans. “-What’s keeping you from just agreeing?”

He made an unintelligible sound from the back of his throat.

“Seriously, sensei, I know you aren’t required to do so, but when do you ever spend time with us? In a few months, you are going to be Hokage and then probably too busy to see anyone of us …” While on one hand Sakura really did want to spend some time with her old team again, almost all of them together if possible, on the other hand, she also wanted for both of you to be happy. So, she had to bare out her feelings and push them aside all at once.

“Sakura …” He was at a loss for words.

“Please?”

Underneath his mask, Kakashi bit his lip in thought before letting out a sigh. “Alright, but just this once.”

Sakura could not be happier.

Guilt was gnawing at Kakashi. His student’s words rang true because he did indeed not spend much time with them, especially following the end of the war. There had simply been too much for all of them to do, individual missions, the occasional life-threatening occurrence, and his training to become the next Hokage of Konohagakure.

There was no better time than now, he supposed.

Sakura had told him to meet her at seven pm at Ichiraku and for the first time in forever, Kakashi put in an effort to only be fashionably late instead of leaving his students to wait for over an hour. Just this once, he could do them the favor (but only once, they should not get their hopes up, it will not happen another time).

Up ahead illuminated the lights of Ichiraku ramen a figure, one who was tapping her foot against the ground and stood with her hands on her hips, appearing angered even from a distance. Upon coming closer, Kakashi could make out more of the woman’s features, among which were a familiar combination of bubblegum pink hair and green eyes and the angry scowl Sakura wore time and time again when he had been late. With an angry finger, she pointed at him and beckoned over.

(He would never say it aloud, but sometimes his only female student scared him to death. Sakura had an aura similar to that of her mentor, Tsunade, and one that had him internally cowering in fear. That was exactly why he quickened his pace to an extent that it would not be too noticeable.)

“You’re late,” This Was the first thing that Sakura said to him when he stopped before her. Her anger was obvious and so was the tension in her jaw. “but lucky for you, I expected you to be, so our guest did not have to wait for long.”

Our guest? Kakashi could only tilt his head in confusion, the gears in his mind turning in search for a detail he might have missed. Yet, he could not remember the information that seemed to have gone past his head.

The curtain protecting the privacy of those who dined in Ichirakus was pulled open and Kakashi swore that he could hear his heart stop. There was you, in person, sharing the same air as him.

In the most melodic voice, you addressed your assistant. “Sakura, who are you talking to- oh.” Then, you spotted him and your eyes widened. 

Kakashi was pretty sure that time seemed to slow down to almost no movement in your presence. In the light of the streetlamps, you looked like an angel sent from the heavens above, an ethereal figure stemming from the myths of the gods. You were the most beautiful woman to have walked earth, he decided right then and there. Only his mask could hide his dazzled expression and the rising flush of his cheeks.

When you stepped closer, his last brain cell evaporated. “Kakashi-san? Are you alright? You look a bit pale.” The way you titled your head to look at him had him fixated and stole away his breath.

“I-I’m f-fine.” He managed to stutter out, too lost in your e/c staring at him to focus properly. Inwardly, he let out a groan at how the situation was turning out for him.

Immediately upon hearing that, a smile graced your angelic features as you looked at him. “I’m glad to hear that, Kakashi-san,” Then you turned on your heel with a glare sitting on your face to scold a certain pinkette. “Now let’s get to you, Sakura-chan. What do you think are you doing?”

At the tone, you used with her (reminiscent of the one of a scolding mother), Kakashi would have thought that by now your shared student would cower away in fear or at least show some regret, but instead, Sakura smirked of all things.

“Quite frankly, both of you are helpless when it comes to love and kami, I can’t keep watching you squirm around. It’s so obvious that the two of you are made for each other and fit well together and what do you do? You squirm around one another, seriously? I refuse to let this go on any longer and watch you two waste the opportunities you can have now! So stop acting like love-sick teenagers and man up and go on a date!”

Both Kakashi and yourself suddenly felt as though you were ablaze at the mention of the last word, both of you unsure of what to say.

Sakura decided to deliever the last blow she had in her arsenal. “No offence, Kakashi-sensei, (Name)-san, but it was getting really sad watching you two. I just had to do something. I hope neither of you will haunt me forever for this. See you tomorrow! Enjoy your date!” Before either of you could get a word in, the pinkette sprinted for her life as for away from you as she could, not even stopping once.

Between the two of you reigned a comfortable silence, one that you decided to break by clearing your throat. “Well, Kakashi-san, that just leaves the two of us,” You turned to face the flustered silver-haired, smiling at him so brightly. “How about we eat some ramen together since we are already here. What do you say?”

Kakashi swallowed harshly. “L-like on a d-date?”

To be reduced to such a stuttering idiot in front of you of all people was absolutely mortifying for the silver-haired Shinobi. For Kami’s sake, he was a war hero, the warrior of the Sharingan and the Copy-Cat-Nin, and yet, in front of you, he was merely Kakashi, a man who had to grow too fast. Nobody had ever made him feel like he did when with you.

While he didn’t enjoy sweets that much, your smile was the only thing sweet he would want forever in his life. “Yes. ‘Like on a date’, if that is alright with you, Kakashi-san.”

The silver-haired cleared his throat to regain his composure. “You c-can drop t-the honorific, (Name)-s-s-an.”

The giggle you let out was beyond adorable and sent a cupid’s arrow straight to his heart. “Alright then. I will, Kakashi. But I must ask of you to do the same.”

“Yes.”

With a teasing smirk, you leaned closer to him so your breath was almost fanning over his mask. “Yes, who?”

He swallowed thickly. “Yes, (Name).”

“We’re on the same page then,” With a click of your tongue, you again turned on your heel but this time not without taking the silver-haired with you. Your hand felt delicate wrapped around his as you pulled him along, right into the tranquil ramen shop. “Come on, pretty boy, let’s not waste any more time of our date.” Without a moment of hesitation, said pretty boy followed along in your steps, allowing himself to be pulled right into the shop.

(Secretly, Kakashi had always known that there was a reason why out of all of his twerps, Sakura and her metaphorical cupid’s arrow was his favorite.)

[nagipops]

hii I love your blogs sooo much you're really talented (I just needed to say it sorry) so straight to the point, I already made 2 requests to you and I really enjoyed your writing so I would like to make another again. As I'm clueless about what to request I'll just ask for random hcs for konoha 11, idk if it's too much but if so then you can do with Neji (I love him so much), Kakashi and Naruto. Thank you in advance and sorry anything ^^

RANDOM KONOHA 11 HEADCANONS!

FEATURING: naruto, sakura, shikamaru, ino, choji, neji, rock lee, tenten, kiba, hinata, and shino

WARNINGS: mentions alcohol, drugs, food, bugs, and the tiniest nsfw mention if you get the joke. hehe

A/N: AHHHH ANONN this seriously made my day, im so so glad you enjoy my work!! 💖

NARUTO

you know how we all have “the chair”, where we throw all of our dirty clothes onto?

yeah, imagine that, but from the seat to the fricking ceiling

its just a GINORMOUS MOUND of clothes, you wonder how he even goes through that many clothes so quickly???

definitely shoves it under his bed whenever guests come over (somehow)

holds chopsticks really weirdly. but it works.

asked tenten to put his hair into space buns to mimic his sexy jutsu and went around flirting with the village

jiraiya was so proud of him T-T

comes up with the WORST pickup lines

they’re so bad, its almost charming. almost

has gone AWOL multiple times, disappearing from everywhere, just everywhere

it scared you a little, so you searched the entire village for him

you finally found him sitting on the ledge of a cliff, gazing out at the vast sea

concerned and panicked, you cried out to ask him what was wrong

he turned to you with a crestfallen, devastated look on his face and said,

“i bought shrimp ramen instead of chicken ramen.”

you’ve never searched for him after his disappearance ever again.

SAKURA

100% makes origami shurikens and chucks them at you

they are deathly precise and deathly sharp. seriously, how are these not illegal weapons yet???

writes threatening motivational notes to herself on the mirror

“u got this!” “make sure to smack naruto today!” “ino sucks!”

her backpack would always be way too high up on her back. idk why but. it would

does her hair all nice and pretty before she goes out but once she arrives to her destination SHE KEEP. TAKING. IT OUT. and redoing it over and over and over again

like it’s impossible to make eye contact with her because she’s holding a bobby pin between her teeth while braiding her hair

her guilty pleasure would be hostess treats

ding dongs are her favorite. don’t ask me how i know, i just know.

eats the yellow starbursts just to spite naruto and all her haters

loves small lap dogs, she think’s they’re so cute and cuddly

but she especially loves chihuahuas

they’re so feisty and naruto HATES them, so of course she had to go and get one for herself

dresses the poor dog up in little bonnets and jackets and ties its tiny fuzzy hairs into pigtails

she and the chihuahua are not that much unlike <3

SHIKAMARU

this man is a god at shogi but he absolutely SUCKSSSS at cup pong.

is this an ick? idk. but he is absolute trash at this game.

it gets even worse when he’s got a couple drinks in him

tries to calculate the velocity and acceleration and angle and shit but his shot is always a good two feet off BYE 😭

just mutters an “aw, shit” before awaiting his turn again

hates checkers, loves chess

“checkers is for WUSSIES” - shikamaru nara

i said this in another post, but he is Very Good at whistling

like that’s his hidden talent

can copy any tune with the perfect pitch and rhythm

speaking of, he can do really cool tricks with his tongue

like making a four leaf clover, touching the bridge of his nose with it, flipping it upside down, you name it

he has slanted, scrawled handwriting, to the point where it’s almost illegible

wbk he cheats in school SO OFTEN. but he never gets caught. he’s not stupid, he just couldn’t care less about his classes.

thinks weed and e-cigs are stupid, cigarettes are where it’s at

you just can’t replicate the feeling of taking a drag from a cig after a long, tiring day

plus he looks hella cool while doing it B)

INO

teaches the boyz™️ how to braid their hair

like they all gather in a circle around this feisty fashionista and fail attempt to braid their hair

sakura was just fuming in the sidelines

“OI, INO-PIG, THAT’S A DUTCH BRAID, NOT A FRENCH BRAID!!”

yeah, ino 🙄

the only one that can actually do it is neji because a) this man is talented af and b) he’s got the long hairrr

ino probably envies his thick, sleek hair because hE’S a bOy

also asks everyone for their blood type and zodiac signs and tells them if they’re compatible with her or not

and definitely judges you for your sign 😣

“oh, you’re a gemini? hmm, what a shame...”

makes bouquets for her favorite people and kin assigns everyone a flower

only assigns the pretty nice ones to the people she likes (sorry sakura, you’re out of luck)

one of her favorite hobbies is crafting! she’s really good with details and small things so she loves making those miniature dollhouses and stuff

also really good at watercoloring. especially painting flowers and landscapes

also i feel like she would be really good at playing any instrument because of her skilled hands

can play a badass flute solo. period.

CHOJI

would honestly rather die than get anywhere NEAR an asparagus

he just thinks they’re so gross and bitter and NOT SALTY

he always eats his yakiniku a little bit undercooked because he’s way too impatient to wait for it to cook fully. who do you think he is??

whenever he cloud gazes with shikamaru, when asked what he thinks a cloud looks like, he just says some sort of food

“oi, choji, what does that one look like to you?”

“a... yakiniku grill... with... pineapple rings on it! ooh, and a wagyu steak right there!”

he thinks pringles are an abomination to society. where’s the crisp? where’s the grease? where’s the saltiness?!!!

asks ino to teach him how to do his hair all fancy and the two of them devote an entire day learning different hairstyles

it’s his new favorite thing to do now :D

he really likes crayons!!!!

like he’ll write with them, draw with them, color with them, do everything with them

he’s even tried to eat them. he said they tasted good.

definitely had the 128 crayon pack WITH THE BUILT-IN SHARPENER, and everyone thought he was the coolest kid in town

he ate it UP, he even scored some bbq dates with the ladies

i also feel like he loves basketball, and he has a MEAN slam dunk

like his vertical isn’t that high, but the man can REACH

he loves when people laugh at him when he challenges them to a 1v1 and then proceeds to absolutely destroy them <3

NEJI

he seems like a cucumber kind of guy.

just cucumber

like i feel like he puts it in everything; soba, salads, sandwiches, his face, yeah

it’s mellow and cool, just like him!

speaking of, i feel like he lives for spa days and facials

it just lets him be alone in his little cucumber scented world for an hour or two and he gets damn clear skin from it as well

seriously he has PERFECT skin. flawless. not a single blemish. his cheeks feel like baby butts they’re so smooth.

i feel like he’d be a god at solving rubik’s cubes, don’t ask me why

like if anyone scrambled theirs on accident they would just take it to neji and he’d solve it in the blink of an eye

CAT PERSON!!! loves the little meow meows

who are we kidding, neji basically is a cat; agile, aloof, does silly things without trying to, very cute

he just feels akin to the little fuzzballs and he thinks petting cats are extremely therapeutic. good for the soul

he is a golf man. he would take his juniors golfing and everyone thinks he’s uncool. cmon neji let them go to the skate park at least T-T

also very good at karaoke, definitely surprised everyone once he got a few drinks in him since he started serenading you

LIGHTWEIGHT!!! do not get more than one shot of alcohol in him. he will go berserk.

i also feel like he’d really love photography; not taking pictures of people, but of nature

he loves taking a quiet stroll through a pretty forest and snapping pictures of all the unique flora and fauna

it’s so serene ︶ ‿ ︶

ROCK LEE

100% milly rocks everywhere

gai got in on it too once he asked what lee was doing

“is that what all the youthful cool kids do these days!”

they also dab together. a lot

DO NOT BE SEEN WITH THESE TWO!!! you are not associated with them.

definitely is the one breakdancing in the middle of the dance circle at a high school party

he’s mad skilled at it too

headspins and windmills galore

challenged naruto to a dance-off and completely OBLITERATED him

lee then asked if naruto wanted a rematch, this time with one hand tied behind lee’s back

naruto obliged, and he STILL lost

RIP naruto and his fangirls, they all scrambled to lee afterwards T-T

i feel like his favorite subject is science

not the boring physics equations and laws and theories but the fun EXPERIMENTS

definitely has singed all of his hair off one time and he went to gai blubbering to help him grow back his precious hair

but he loves experimenting with different combinations and chemicals to get different reactions each time

created a potent love potion and carried it around with him all day one day

and it was actually working

girls were flocking to him left and right, staring at his lips and his face

he was so abashed at the sudden attention

heck, it even worked on sakura

“oi, lee-san!”

“hehe, yes, sakura-san?”

her eyes shifted downwards to his lips and his heart thumped harder

“hey... lee-san?”

“what is it?”

“you have something on your lip. we’ve been trying to tell you all day but you just winked and blew kisses at us.”

legend has it lee has still not recovered to this day.

TENTEN

has THE prettiest handwriting. and she can write SUPER fast

it’s like a superpower

like she transcribed five pages of a report in less than two minutes with perfect handwriting

naruto is so jealous.

she is also super good at origami! those diligent, accurate hands aren’t just for throwing things

taught sakura how to make shurikens but does NOT endorse any violent uses of them

she can replicate all of her weapons with paper and they can actually function, it’s so cool

made paper kunai knives one day and the wholeee village wanted to get their hands on them

i feel like she’d listen to mitski. idk i just get those vibes

LOVES BIG DOGS!! especially fluffy wuffy samoyeds

like man’s best friend?? no, GIRL’S BEST FRIEND!!

hugs and cuddles and squishes all the big dogs

she thinks small dogs are spawns of satan

sakura and her have definitely quarreled over this

but at the end of the day, all dogs are adorable fur babies, so she lets it slide :,)

KIBA

kiba always looks SO GOOD in photos you take of him, candid or not

like you could just whip out a camera and snap a photo of him at any given moment and he would look perfect

you framed a picture of him yelling at akamaru for peeing inside the house

it’s pure artwork

i feel like he tries to swagger around with his hands shoved in his pockets but it fails MISERABLY and the girls are wondering if he broke his leg or something 😭

kiba just walk normally. for the love of god please just walk normally.

he tries to slump back in his chair really low but one time he slouched way too low so he slipped off of his chair and onto the ground LMFAOOOO

he just wallowed there... in shame...

also.. he LOVES when the girls put makeup on him!!

he tries to act like he hates it. but it secretly gives him so much confidence

not to mention the girls hyping him up are a huge ego boost

okay the inside of his jacket hood is the warmest. thing. EVER!!!

seriously, no wonder this dude is so happy-go-lucky all the time, he’s living in literal heaven 24/7

it’s like you’re sleeping on a cloud inside a warm, cozy bed during a cold winter morning

10/10 would recommend letting him give you his sweatshirt when you’re chillin with a hair tie ❤️

HINATA

always smells like lavender soap. always

also has the cutest pencil pouches with little puppy faces and kawaii things

oH and she has those mini yoobi highlighters, she thinks they’re so cute (and functional!)

everyone flocks to her to try them out and marvel at the cute tiny highlighters

and they try to steal them from her but she doesn’t even stop them because she’s too timid to 😭

naruto goes BALLISTIC over them

she lets him have all of them <3

tennis girl!!! tennis girl.

all of her opponents always underestimate her because she’s so timid and shy and quiet

but she has a KILLER serve

and then she takes her opponents to the slaughterhouse with a complete shutout ;)

she’s really athletic believe it or not, she can beat most of the boys in a mile run and she has incredible endurance

i feel like she really loves velvet scrunchies

she just thinks they’re so pretty and they keep her hair soft so they’re cute and functional

also takes the PRETTIEST notes!!

color codes, dividers, headers, you name it, it’s all super readable too its insane

everyone asks her for her notes, not to study but just to appreciate the pure artwork that it is ^w^

SHINO

shino is SO easy to prank

“how do you catch an eyemaster?” *cue naruto and kiba snickering*

“eyemaster bait. that is because—”

even when everyone’s laughing their asses off, he still continues to explain his answer since he does NOT GET THE JOKE

tried his hand at writing haikus

here’s his best one so far:

“Bugs are amazing. That is because they are bugs. Bugs are very nice.” - Shino Aburame

VERY proud of it, since it took him weeks to perfect

praise it, pls

had one of those ant farms and bug-catching kits as a kid

and he would fill the kit TO THE BRIM. LIKE IT WAS HEAVY BECAUSE THERE WERE SO MANY BUGS.

he loves the little chitters of the different bugs

he had jars of different bugs all lined up on a wall shelf in his room

collects silkworms off of trees and sticks them into his pockets (no i definitely did not do this as a kid...)

HELP I FEEL LIKE he would record a timelapse of his ant farm growing and upload it to youtube with a movie maker title screen that says

“my ants”

if you enjoyed this post, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) feel free to request here, and make sure to read the rules first! have a lovely day everyone <3

[blackwoolncrown]

”This essay has been kicking around in my head for years now and I’ve never felt confident enough to write it. It’s a time in my life I’m ashamed of. It’s a time that I hurt people and, through inaction, allowed others to be hurt. It’s a time that I acted as a violent agent of capitalism and white supremacy. Under the guise of public safety, I personally ruined people’s lives but in so doing, made the public no safer… so did the family members and close friends of mine who also bore the badge alongside me.

But enough is enough.

The reforms aren’t working. Incrementalism isn’t happening. Unarmed Black, indigenous, and people of color are being killed by cops in the streets and the police are savagely attacking the people protesting these murders.

American policing is a thick blue tumor strangling the life from our communities and if you don’t believe it when the poor and the marginalized say it, if you don’t believe it when you see cops across the country shooting journalists with less-lethal bullets and caustic chemicals, maybe you’ll believe it when you hear it straight from the pig’s mouth.”

>>Copied here in case anyone gets paywalled when they click the above. The full article is...a lot.<<

WHY AM I WRITING THIS

As someone who went through the training, hiring, and socialization of a career in law enforcement, I wanted to give a first-hand account of why I believe police officers are the way they are. Not to excuse their behavior, but to explain it and to indict the structures that perpetuate it.

I believe that if everyone understood how we’re trained and brought up in the profession, it would inform the demands our communities should be making of a new way of community safety. If I tell you how we were made, I hope it will empower you to unmake us.

One of the other reasons I’ve struggled to write this essay is that I don’t want to center the conversation on myself and my big salty boo-hoo feelings about my bad choices. It’s a toxic white impulse to see atrocities and think “How can I make this about me?” So, I hope you’ll take me at my word that this account isn’t meant to highlight me, but rather the hundred thousand of me in every city in the country. It’s about the structure that made me (that I chose to pollute myself with) and it’s my meager contribution to the cause of radical justice.

YES, ALL COPS ARE BASTARDS

I was a police officer in a major metropolitan area in California with a predominantly poor, non-white population (with a large proportion of first-generation immigrants). One night during briefing, our watch commander told us that the city council had requested a new zero tolerance policy. Against murderers, drug dealers, or child predators?

No, against homeless people collecting cans from recycling bins.

See, the city had some kickback deal with the waste management company where waste management got paid by the government for our expected tonnage of recycling. When homeless people “stole” that recycling from the waste management company, they were putting that cheaper contract in peril. So, we were to arrest as many recyclers as we could find.

Even for me, this was a stupid policy and I promptly blew Sarge off. But a few hours later, Sarge called me over to assist him. He was detaining a 70 year old immigrant who spoke no English, who he’d seen picking a coke can out of a trash bin. He ordered me to arrest her for stealing trash. I said, “Sarge, c’mon, she’s an old lady.” He said, “I don’t give a shit. Hook her up, that’s an order.” And… I did. She cried the entire way to the station and all through the booking process. I couldn’t even comfort her because I didn’t speak Spanish. I felt disgusting but I was ordered to make this arrest and I wasn’t willing to lose my job for her.

If you’re tempted to feel sympathy for me, don’t. I used to happily hassle the homeless under other circumstances. I researched obscure penal codes so I could arrest people in homeless encampments for lesser known crimes like “remaining too close to railroad property” (369i of the California Penal Code). I used to call it “planting warrant seeds” since I knew they wouldn’t make their court dates and we could arrest them again and again for warrant violations.

We used to have informal contests for who could cite or arrest someone for the weirdest law. DUI on a bicycle, non-regulation number of brooms on your tow truck (27700(a)(1) of the California Vehicle Code)… shit like that. For me, police work was a logic puzzle for arresting people, regardless of their actual threat to the community. As ashamed as I am to admit it, it needs to be said: stripping people of their freedom felt like a game to me for many years.

I know what you’re going to ask: did I ever plant drugs? Did I ever plant a gun on someone? Did I ever make a false arrest or file a false report? Believe it or not, the answer is no. Cheating was no fun, I liked to get my stats the “legitimate” way. But I knew officers who kept a little baggie of whatever or maybe a pocket knife that was a little too big in their war bags (yeah, we called our dufflebags “war bags”…). Did I ever tell anybody about it? No I did not. Did I ever confess my suspicions when cocaine suddenly showed up in a gang member’s jacket? No I did not.

In fact, let me tell you about an extremely formative experience: in my police academy class, we had a clique of around six trainees who routinely bullied and harassed other students: intentionally scuffing another trainee’s shoes to get them in trouble during inspection, sexually harassing female trainees, cracking racist jokes, and so on. Every quarter, we were to write anonymous evaluations of our squadmates. I wrote scathing accounts of their behavior, thinking I was helping keep bad apples out of law enforcement and believing I would be protected. Instead, the academy staff read my complaints to them out loud and outed me to them and never punished them, causing me to get harassed for the rest of my academy class. That’s how I learned that even police leadership hates rats. That’s why no one is “changing things from the inside.” They can’t, the structure won’t allow it.

And that’s the point of what I’m telling you. Whether you were my sergeant, legally harassing an old woman, me, legally harassing our residents, my fellow trainees bullying the rest of us, or “the bad apples” illegally harassing “shitbags”, we were all in it together. I knew cops that pulled women over to flirt with them. I knew cops who would pepper spray sleeping bags so that homeless people would have to throw them away. I knew cops that intentionally provoked anger in suspects so they could claim they were assaulted. I was particularly good at winding people up verbally until they lashed out so I could fight them. Nobody spoke out. Nobody stood up. Nobody betrayed the code.

None of us protected the people (you) from bad cops.

This is why “All cops are bastards.” Even your uncle, even your cousin, even your mom, even your brother, even your best friend, even your spouse, even me. Because even if they wouldn’t Do The Thing themselves, they will almost never rat out another officer who Does The Thing, much less stop it from happening.

BASTARD 101

I could write an entire book of the awful things I’ve done, seen done, and heard others bragging about doing. But, to me, the bigger question is “How did it get this way?”. While I was a police officer in a city 30 miles from where I lived, many of my fellow officers were from the community and treated their neighbors just as badly as I did. While every cop’s individual biases come into play, it’s the profession itself that is toxic, and it starts from day 1 of training.

Every police academy is different but all of them share certain features: taught by old cops, run like a paramilitary bootcamp, strong emphasis on protecting yourself more than anyone else. The majority of my time in the academy was spent doing aggressive physical training and watching video after video after video of police officers being murdered on duty.

I want to highlight this: nearly everyone coming into law enforcement is bombarded with dash cam footage of police officers being ambushed and killed. Over and over and over. Colorless VHS mortality plays, cops screaming for help over their radios, their bodies going limp as a pair of tail lights speed away into a grainy black horizon. In my case, with commentary from an old racist cop who used to brag about assaulting Black Panthers.

To understand why all cops are bastards, you need to understand one of the things almost every training officer told me when it came to using force:

“I’d rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6.”

Meaning, “I’ll take my chances in court rather than risk getting hurt”. We’re able to think that way because police unions are extremely overpowered and because of the generous concept of Qualified Immunity, a legal theory which says a cop generally can’t be held personally liable for mistakes they make doing their job in an official capacity.

When you look at the actions of the officers who killed George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, David McAtee, Mike Brown, Tamir Rice, Philando Castile, Eric Garner, or Freddie Gray, remember that they, like me, were trained to recite “I’d rather be judged by 12” as a mantra. Even if Mistakes Were Made™, the city (meaning the taxpayers, meaning you) pays the settlement, not the officer.

Once police training has - through repetition, indoctrination, and violent spectacle - promised officers that everyone in the world is out to kill them, the next lesson is that your partners are the only people protecting you. Occasionally, this is even true: I’ve had encounters turn on me rapidly to the point I legitimately thought I was going to die, only to have other officers come and turn the tables.

One of the most important thought leaders in law enforcement is Col. Dave Grossman, a “killologist” who wrote an essay called “Sheep, Wolves, and Sheepdogs”. Cops are the sheepdogs, bad guys are the wolves, and the citizens are the sheep (!). Col. Grossman makes sure to mention that to a stupid sheep, sheepdogs look more like wolves than sheep, and that’s why they dislike you.

This “they hate you for protecting them and only I love you, only I can protect you” tactic is familiar to students of abuse. It’s what abusers do to coerce their victims into isolation, pulling them away from friends and family and ensnaring them in the abuser’s toxic web. Law enforcement does this too, pitting the officer against civilians. “They don’t understand what you do, they don’t respect your sacrifice, they just want to get away with crimes. You’re only safe with us.”

I think the Wolves vs. Sheepdogs dynamic is one of the most important elements as to why officers behave the way they do. Every single second of my training, I was told that criminals were not a legitimate part of their community, that they were individual bad actors, and that their bad actions were solely the result of their inherent criminality. Any concept of systemic trauma, generational poverty, or white supremacist oppression was either never mentioned or simply dismissed. After all, most people don’t steal, so anyone who does isn’t “most people,” right? To us, anyone committing a crime deserved anything that happened to them because they broke the “social contract.” And yet, it was never even a question as to whether the power structure above them was honoring any sort of contract back.

Understand: Police officers are part of the state monopoly on violence and all police training reinforces this monopoly as a cornerstone of police work, a source of honor and pride. Many cops fantasize about getting to kill someone in the line of duty, egged on by others that have. One of my training officers told me about the time he shot and killed a mentally ill homeless man wielding a big stick. He bragged that he “slept like a baby” that night. Official training teaches you how to be violent effectively and when you’re legally allowed to deploy that violence, but “unofficial training” teaches you to desire violence, to expand the breadth of your violence without getting caught, and to erode your own compassion for desperate people so you can justify punitive violence against them.

HOW TO BE A BASTARD

I have participated in some of these activities personally, others are ones I either witnessed personally or heard officers brag about openly. Very, very occasionally, I knew an officer who was disciplined or fired for one of these things.

Police officers will lie about the law, about what’s illegal, or about what they can legally do to you in order to manipulate you into doing what they want.

Police officers will lie about feeling afraid for their life to justify a use of force after the fact.

Police officers will lie and tell you they’ll file a police report just to get you off their back.

Police officers will lie that your cooperation will “look good for you” in court, or that they will “put in a good word for you with the DA.” The police will never help you look good in court.

Police officers will lie about what they see and hear to access private property to conduct unlawful searches.

Police officers will lie and say your friend already ratted you out, so you might as well rat them back out. This is almost never true.

Police officers will lie and say you’re not in trouble in order to get you to exit a location or otherwise make an arrest more convenient for them.

Police officers will lie and say that they won’t arrest you if you’ll just “be honest with them” so they know what really happened.

Police officers will lie about their ability to seize the property of friends and family members to coerce a confession.

Police officers will write obviously bullshit tickets so that they get time-and-a-half overtime fighting them in court.

Police officers will search places and containers you didn’t consent to and later claim they were open or “smelled like marijuana”.

Police officers will threaten you with a more serious crime they can’t prove in order to convince you to confess to the lesser crime they really want you for.

Police officers will employ zero tolerance on races and ethnicities they dislike and show favor and lenience to members of their own group.

Police officers will use intentionally extra-painful maneuvers and holds during an arrest to provoke “resistance” so they can further assault the suspect.

Some police officers will plant drugs and weapons on you, sometimes to teach you a lesson, sometimes if they kill you somewhere away from public view.

Some police officers will assault you to intimidate you and threaten to arrest you if you tell anyone.

A non-trivial number of police officers will steal from your house or vehicle during a search.

A non-trivial number of police officers commit intimate partner violence and use their status to get away with it.

A non-trivial number of police officers use their position to entice, coerce, or force sexual favors from vulnerable people.

If you take nothing else away from this essay, I want you to tattoo this onto your brain forever: if a police officer is telling you something, it is probably a lie designed to gain your compliance.

Do not talk to cops and never, ever believe them. Do not “try to be helpful” with cops. Do not assume they are trying to catch someone else instead of you. Do not assume what they are doing is “important” or even legal. Under no circumstances assume any police officer is acting in good faith.

Also, and this is important, do not talk to cops.

I just remembered something, do not talk to cops.

Checking my notes real quick, something jumped out at me:

Do

not

fucking

talk

to

cops.

Ever.

Say, “I don’t answer questions,” and ask if you’re free to leave; if so, leave. If not, tell them you want your lawyer and that, per the Supreme Court, they must terminate questioning. If they don’t, file a complaint and collect some badges for your mantle.

DO THE BASTARDS EVER HELP?

Reading the above, you may be tempted to ask whether cops ever do anything good. And the answer is, sure, sometimes. In fact, most officers I worked with thought they were usually helping the helpless and protecting the safety of innocent people.

During my tenure in law enforcement, I protected women from domestic abusers, arrested cold-blooded murderers and child molesters, and comforted families who lost children to car accidents and other tragedies. I helped connect struggling people in my community with local resources for food, shelter, and counseling. I deescalated situations that could have turned violent and talked a lot of people down from making the biggest mistake of their lives. I worked with plenty of officers who were individually kind, bought food for homeless residents, or otherwise showed care for their community.

The question is this: did I need a gun and sweeping police powers to help the average person on the average night? The answer is no. When I was doing my best work as a cop, I was doing mediocre work as a therapist or a social worker. My good deeds were listening to people failed by the system and trying to unite them with any crumbs of resources the structure was currently denying them.

It’s also important to note that well over 90% of the calls for service I handled were reactive, showing up well after a crime had taken place. We would arrive, take a statement, collect evidence (if any), file the report, and onto the next caper. Most “active” crimes we stopped were someone harmless possessing or selling a small amount of drugs. Very, very rarely would we stop something dangerous in progress or stop something from happening entirely. The closest we could usually get was seeing someone running away from the scene of a crime, but the damage was still done.

And consider this: my job as a police officer required me to be a marriage counselor, a mental health crisis professional, a conflict negotiator, a social worker, a child advocate, a traffic safety expert, a sexual assault specialist, and, every once in awhile, a public safety officer authorized to use force, all after only a 1000 hours of training at a police academy. Does the person we send to catch a robber also need to be the person we send to interview a rape victim or document a fender bender? Should one profession be expected to do all that important community care (with very little training) all at the same time?

To put this another way: I made double the salary most social workers made to do a fraction of what they could do to mitigate the causes of crimes and desperation. I can count very few times my monopoly on state violence actually made our citizens safer, and even then, it’s hard to say better-funded social safety nets and dozens of other community care specialists wouldn’t have prevented a problem before it started.

Armed, indoctrinated (and dare I say, traumatized) cops do not make you safer; community mutual aid networks who can unite other people with the resources they need to stay fed, clothed, and housed make you safer. I really want to hammer this home: every cop in your neighborhood is damaged by their training, emboldened by their immunity, and they have a gun and the ability to take your life with near-impunity. This does not make you safer, even if you’re white.

HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE A BASTARD?

So what do we do about it? Even though I’m an expert on bastardism, I am not a public policy expert nor an expert in organizing a post-police society. So, before I give some suggestions, let me tell you what probably won’t solve the problem of bastard cops:

Increased “bias” training. A quarterly or even monthly training session is not capable of covering over years of trauma-based camaraderie in police forces. I can tell you from experience, we don’t take it seriously, the proctors let us cheat on whatever “tests” there are, and we all made fun of it later over coffee.

Tougher laws. I hope you understand by now, cops do not follow the law and will not hold each other accountable to the law. Tougher laws are all the more reason to circle the wagons and protect your brothers and sisters.

More community policing programs. Yes, there is a marginal effect when a few cops get to know members of the community, but look at the protests of 2020: many of the cops pepper-spraying journalists were probably the nice school cop a month ago.

Police officers do not protect and serve people, they protect and serve the status quo, “polite society”, and private property. Using the incremental mechanisms of the status quo will never reform the police because the status quo relies on police violence to exist. Capitalism requires a permanent underclass to exploit for cheap labor and it requires the cops to bring that underclass to heel.

Instead of wasting time with minor tweaks, I recommend exploring the following ideas:

No more qualified immunity. Police officers should be personally liable for all decisions they make in the line of duty.

No more civil asset forfeiture. Did you know that every year, citizens like you lose more cash and property to unaccountable civil asset forfeiture than to all burglaries combined? The police can steal your stuff without charging you with a crime and it makes some police departments very rich.

Break the power of police unions. Police unions make it nearly impossible to fire bad cops and incentivize protecting them to protect the power of the union. A police union is not a labor union; police officers are powerful state agents, not exploited workers.

Require malpractice insurance. Doctors must pay for insurance in case they botch a surgery, police officers should do the same for botching a police raid or other use of force. If human decency won’t motivate police to respect human life, perhaps hitting their wallet might.

Defund, demilitarize, and disarm cops. Thousands of police departments own assault rifles, armored personnel carriers, and stuff you’d see in a warzone. Police officers have grants and huge budgets to spend on guns, ammo, body armor, and combat training. 99% of calls for service require no armed response, yet when all you have is a gun, every problem feels like target practice. Cities are not safer when unaccountable bullies have a monopoly on state violence and the equipment to execute that monopoly.

One final idea: consider abolishing the police.

I know what you’re thinking, “What? We need the police! They protect us!” As someone who did it for nearly a decade, I need you to understand that by and large, police protection is marginal, incidental. It’s an illusion created by decades of copaganda designed to fool you into thinking these brave men and women are holding back the barbarians at the gates.

I alluded to this above: the vast majority of calls for service I handled were theft reports, burglary reports, domestic arguments that hadn’t escalated into violence, loud parties, (houseless) people loitering, traffic collisions, very minor drug possession, and arguments between neighbors. Mostly the mundane ups and downs of life in the community, with little inherent danger. And, like I mentioned, the vast majority of crimes I responded to (even violent ones) had already happened; my unaccountable license to kill was irrelevant.

What I mainly provided was an “objective” third party with the authority to document property damage, ask people to chill out or disperse, or counsel people not to beat each other up. A trained counselor or conflict resolution specialist would be ten times more effective than someone with a gun strapped to his hip wondering if anyone would try to kill him when he showed up. There are many models for community safety that can be explored if we get away from the idea that the only way to be safe is to have a man with a M4 rifle prowling your neighborhood ready at a moment’s notice to write down your name and birthday after you’ve been robbed and beaten.

You might be asking, “What about the armed robbers, the gangsters, the drug dealers, the serial killers?” And yes, in the city I worked, I regularly broke up gang parties, found gang members carrying guns, and handled homicides. I’ve seen some tragic things, from a reformed gangster shot in the head with his brains oozing out to a fifteen year old boy taking his last breath in his screaming mother’s arms thanks to a gang member’s bullet. I know the wages of violence.

This is where we have to have the courage to ask: why do people rob? Why do they join gangs? Why do they get addicted to drugs or sell them? It’s not because they are inherently evil. I submit to you that these are the results of living in a capitalist system that grinds people down and denies them housing, medical care, human dignity, and a say in their government. These are the results of white supremacy pushing people to the margins, excluding them, disrespecting them, and treating their bodies as disposable.

Equally important to remember: disabled and mentally ill people are frequently killed by police officers not trained to recognize and react to disabilities or mental health crises. Some of the people we picture as “violent offenders” are often people struggling with untreated mental illness, often due to economic hardships. Very frequently, the officers sent to “protect the community” escalate this crisis and ultimately wound or kill the person. Your community was not made safer by police violence; a sick member of your community was killed because it was cheaper than treating them. Are you extremely confident you’ll never get sick one day too?

Wrestle with this for a minute: if all of someone’s material needs were met and all the members of their community were fed, clothed, housed, and dignified, why would they need to join a gang? Why would they need to risk their lives selling drugs or breaking into buildings? If mental healthcare was free and was not stigmatized, how many lives would that save?

Would there still be a few bad actors in the world? Sure, probably. What’s my solution for them, you’re no doubt asking. I’ll tell you what: generational poverty, food insecurity, houselessness, and for-profit medical care are all problems that can be solved in our lifetimes by rejecting the dehumanizing meat grinder of capitalism and white supremacy. Once that’s done, we can work on the edge cases together, with clearer hearts not clouded by a corrupt system.

Police abolition is closely related to the idea of prison abolition and the entire concept of banishing the carceral state, meaning, creating a society focused on reconciliation and restorative justice instead of punishment, pain, and suffering — a system that sees people in crisis as humans, not monsters. People who want to abolish the police typically also want to abolish prisons, and the same questions get asked: “What about the bad guys? Where do we put them?” I bring this up because abolitionists don’t want to simply replace cops with armed social workers or prisons with casual detention centers full of puffy leather couches and Playstations. We imagine a world not divided into good guys and bad guys, but rather a world where people’s needs are met and those in crisis receive care, not dehumanization.

Here’s legendary activist and thinker Angela Y. Davis putting it better than I ever could:

“An abolitionist approach that seeks to answer questions such as these would require us to imagine a constellation of alternative strategies and institutions, with the ultimate aim of removing the prison from the social and ideological landscapes of our society. In other words, we would not be looking for prisonlike substitutes for the prison, such as house arrest safeguarded by electronic surveillance bracelets. Rather, positing decarceration as our overarching strategy, we would try to envision a continuum of alternatives to imprisonment-demilitarization of schools, revitalization of education at all levels, a health system that provides free physical and mental care to all, and a justice system based on reparation and reconciliation rather than retribution and vengeance.”

(Are Prisons Obsolete, pg. 107)

I’m not telling you I have the blueprint for a beautiful new world. What I’m telling you is that the system we have right now is broken beyond repair and that it’s time to consider new ways of doing community together. Those new ways need to be negotiated by members of those communities, particularly Black, indigenous, disabled, houseless, and citizens of color historically shoved into the margins of society. Instead of letting Fox News fill your head with nightmares about Hispanic gangs, ask the Hispanic community what they need to thrive. Instead of letting racist politicians scaremonger about pro-Black demonstrators, ask the Black community what they need to meet the needs of the most vulnerable. If you truly desire safety, ask not what your most vulnerable can do for the community, ask what the community can do for the most vulnerable.

A WORLD WITH FEWER BASTARDS IS POSSIBLE

If you take only one thing away from this essay, I hope it’s this: do not talk to cops. But if you only take two things away, I hope the second one is that it’s possible to imagine a different world where unarmed black people, indigenous people, poor people, disabled people, and people of color are not routinely gunned down by unaccountable police officers. It doesn’t have to be this way. Yes, this requires a leap of faith into community models that might feel unfamiliar, but I ask you:

When you see a man dying in the street begging for breath, don’t you want to leap away from that world?

When you see a mother or a daughter shot to death sleeping in their beds, don’t you want to leap away from that world?

When you see a twelve year old boy executed in a public park for the crime of playing with a toy, jesus fucking christ, can you really just stand there and think “This is normal”?

And to any cops who made it this far down, is this really the world you want to live in? Aren’t you tired of the trauma? Aren’t you tired of the soul sickness inherent to the badge? Aren’t you tired of looking the other way when your partners break the law? Are you really willing to kill the next George Floyd, the next Breonna Taylor, the next Tamir Rice? How confident are you that your next use of force will be something you’re proud of? I’m writing this for you too: it’s wrong what our training did to us, it’s wrong that they hardened our hearts to our communities, and it’s wrong to pretend this is normal.

Look, I wouldn’t have been able to hear any of this for much of my life. You reading this now may not be able to hear this yet either. But do me this one favor: just think about it. Just turn it over in your mind for a couple minutes. “Yes, And” me for a minute. Look around you and think about the kind of world you want to live in. Is it one where an all-powerful stranger with a gun keeps you and your neighbors in line with the fear of death, or can you picture a world where, as a community, we embrace our most vulnerable, meet their needs, heal their wounds, honor their dignity, and make them family instead of desperate outsiders?

If you take only three things away from this essay, I hope the third is this: you and your community don’t need bastards to thrive.

RESOURCES TO YES-AND WITH

Achele Mbembe — Necropolitics

Angela Y. Davis — Are Prisons Obsolete?

CriticalResistance.org — Abolition Toolkit

Joe Macaré, Maya Schenwar, and Alana Yu-lan Price — Who Do You Serve, Who Do You Protect?

Ruth Wilson Gilmore — COVID-19, Decarceration, Abolition [video]

[thegoldielocks28]

2 for Hiromi and Boris :)

Bickering

Everyone was surprised when Hiromi announced that she and Boris were together. Many of their fellow bladers saw them as polar opposites. In style, personality and even morals. Their relationship was questioned by many, especially by fans and even a few of their friends who claimed they only were looking out for them. Even so, it was clear that what was growing between them was sincere. 

Hiromi was the one who suggested they should start living together after just a few months of dating. The start of their relationship was all good as they were in the same country, living close but once the tournament was over and they had to part the distance between Japan and Russia made them prone to argue. Really badly. To the point of breaking up out of frustration just to make up and get back together a few days later. It made them both upset, and if they were going to try being together for real they would rather take this step sooner than later. 

If it won't work out they´ll know soon and break up, knowing they tried it all. 

Boris has now lived in Japan with Hiromi for a month by now and things have gone quite well. Better than expected even. Being able to sort out their differences in person saved them from a lot of lingering negative feelings. Both learning the other´s habits, growing more considerate, helping out with different things. 

They´re renting a small apartment in central Tokyo not too far from the Kinomya dojo or Hiromi´s parents´home. The hardest part for Boris is going from being used to living in a shared house in Russia where he was constantly surrounded by his brothers to living with Hiromi in a new country, where he struggles with some culture and language. Yet, since money isn't really a problem after years as a pro blader, he suggested they should think about a place in Russia as well and he was happy when Hiromi agreed. 

Boris observes his reflection in the mirror with a slight frown on his face. His often wild lilac hair is combed quite neatly, the small scar where his lip ring usually is stands out and instead of his usual dark worn out clothes he's wearing a white ironed shirt together with a pair of nicer pants. Boris thinks it's a completely different person looking back at him in the reflection of the mirror. He touches his lower lip, it feels strange not to have his piercing there. Naked, almost. 

“Boris, we´re already late…” Hiromi´s voice can be heard from the bathroom.

Any other day, he´d be the one scrolling on his phone while waiting for her to get ready. As Hiromi picked between this and that, did her make up, and spent time on her hair. He has learned to be patient. 

But not today. 

The Japanese woman pokes her head out and looks Boris over. It's clear she's liking what she sees. “You look great!”

“I look like …” Boris makes a face. “An office worker.” He adds, as if working in an office is the worst thing there is.

“Now, what's wrong with that?” 

“It looks like I got a damn stick up my arse!” His voice grows louder.  

Hiromi sighs, the woman was always one to easily get annoyed when things don't go smoothly. Being together with Boris has taught her another type of patience than what she used with Takao and the Chief. He is all worth it to her, though. Emerging from the bathroom, Hiromi is dressed in a modest summer dress in white and yellow. Brown shoulder length hair secured in a neat, but cute, little pig-tail. Boris can't help but enjoy the sight of her, knowing she is his and has been for a while now. 

“We're just meeting my parents..--” She tries to soothe him but Boris interrupts her. 

To Hiromi, her parents are her security. It's the place where she grew up and became who she is. They´re people who she is in touch with daily. She knows that even if they never would have thought their daughter would want to get serious with a foregin man, a foreign man with somewhat of a troubled past, they wouldn't oppose unless Boris is treating her badly. Can´t make her happy. The only thing they're concerned about is that the two of them are getting serious without meeting them, without a promise of an engagement. They´re a bit traditional like that, and Hiromi knows that Boris is different. 

If he feels this badly over using quite simple plain clothes and fixing his hair Hiromi can only imagine his grumpy face if they ever get married. Boris dressed in a suit. Yet, she does believe he'd do it for her. Just as she has opened her mind to things she never would have done unless Boris was in her life. 

“Ain't such a small thing to me.” Boris counters, facing her, and his troubled expression does things to her. “My team is my family, the parents that gave me life are people I don't remember.” He continues, his accent gets a bit thicker. 

Hiromi moves closer to Boris, her hands touching him, slowly moving up his chest until she can wrap her arms around him in a light hug. Even like this, short as she is, Boris needs to hold onto her so she can keep her balance. It´s then clear to her that her man is nervous and uneasy because this is all new, and he wants to make a good impression on her parents. 

“They will like you.” Hiromi says gently. “This is just the first meeting, you can be more relaxed next time. They just want to know who you are.” 

“Fuck…” Boris curses, but his expression gets a little better. “You mean I should gradually show my wicked side…? Starting with this?” 

Hiromi chuckles, mouthing a “yeah”. He leans forward so their foreheads touch while they embrace. An insecure smile growing on his lips. 

Hiromi knows Boris is stubborn, headstrong, and confident in so many ways but dating and living with him is slowly teaching her about his more vulnerable sides. He has a past that haunts him to this day. No family of his own, abused and used by an adult he should have been able to trust. Trained to not feel certain emotions. 

Maybe one day, she can be some security to him. 

[nevernotnotnotting]

im rewatching doctor who with my partner (they’ve never seen it, ive watched up to s9 but haven’t finished it and haven’t watched dw in years- I was obsessed as a teen tho)

we just finished s2 and ive come to the realisation that i hate it. i do not like it. its not enjoyable to me. love and monsters?? are you kidding me?? the fuckin 50s tv one?? the cat hospital?? like there are episodes that i think are objectively good that i just don’t enjoy (impossible planet/satan pit is fascinating, and there’s a lot of interest with the parallel world stuff) but overall i just really really /really/ dislike rose and ten together. don’t like it.

theyre insufferable, they’re not nearly human enough (like dw as a whole does treat a lot of serious stuff without gravity, but this season is atrocious for it - it’s like the second he regenerated ten went ah it’s all fine now!! im over the time war it’s fine (: never mind that his entire planet and species died a year or two ago for him), and everything that they have holding them together seems to be what happened when the doctor was a completely different person (ie before he regenerated). he’s important to her not bc of who he is now but bc of what they went through and who he was before he regenerated, and she’s important to him because she’s his only family since the time war.

they remind me of a couple who’s been married for like 5 years, but they got married while like they were in school or one of them was in the military or something and now that their circumstances have changed the only thing holding them together is the fact that they’re already together. like they love each other- but why? what do they actually love about each other? their history, that’s 95% of it. ive had this opinion for years about them as a ship, but frankly I’m realising this about them as any kind of relationship, platonic or not. i dont like them together and i dont think they’re good together or for each other.

also like- rose is 19 when they meet. she dropped out of school and works in a shop and dates someone she knew growing up. she experiences a lot more and grows up a lot during her time with the doctor, but she’s still at most 21 by the end of s2- she’s still a kid. like developmentally, she’s not full grown yet. she and nine work together bc their relationship is based on understanding that huge power imbalance, which is partly bc of how much older (and less traditionally attractive) nine looks, partly because she’s newer to the tardis, and partly because of how different nine’s attitude is to so much.

idk im glad to be up to s3 for sure. i don’t understand martha hate, i adore her, and i think most of her season is really good. i wish they’d spent less time having her moon (lol) over the doctor, i think it does both of them a real disservice, but she’s a great character and person and i love her arc and the series arc as a whole (i ship ten/john simm master Heavily so this should not be surprising but i do think that it genuinely holds up).

i just, i don’t understand why so many fans love rose/roseten/s2 when to me the whole thing feels like the writers had a really strong vision for s1, finished it, and went ah. didn’t think we’d get this far, have uhhh a werewolf i guess??? and then so many fans have such a negative opinion of martha & s3, when imo that’s when they wrestled the story back into something that’s really very narratively strong. like there’s dodgy bits and bad episodes (i am Not looking forward to lazarus or the pig people lol) but they’re bits and episodes, and even the parts that are dodgy can still be really enjoyable (i love the shakespeare code!! it’s so fun!! someone please either let martha smack bill for being racist, have someone else do it on her behalf, or just don’t put the racism in, but other than that it’s a really enjoyable episode). the daleks episodes are genuinely so good, and the family of blood, and blink???? and everything with the master??? sick as fuck. i love it. im so excited to enjoy the show again lol.

[writerpeach]

Stamina

Berrygood Johyun x Male Reader

8885 words

Categories: smut, public sex, oral, anal

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Read on AFF

Read on AO3

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This piece took a while to finish, I started over at least twice and didn't really feel like editing it much anymore, so apologies if it's not up to my usual standards. I will be taking a long extended hiatus from writing after this chapter and figure out what exactly I want to do next. Thank you all for continuing to read my writing.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas <3

"Ugh, babe, I'm so full!"

Johyun slurped on the last bit of her noodles, bringing the large porcelain bowl to her red lips and drinking the leftover broth. She wiped her lips and let out a sound of satisfaction.

“I would hope so, you ate like a pig,” you teased, finishing your own ramen and washing it down with a small bottle of milk which aided in cooling your tongue. You could handle spice just fine, but this restaurant always made things just a bit spicier than you were used to, which always caught you off guard.

Johyun stuck her tongue out. “Come give this pig a kiss then,” she said, leaning over the table and puckered her lips. You graciously fulfilled her request and kissed her on the lips before taking one more drink.

“Too hot for you, baby?” Johyun asked, noticing your sniffling nose that you were trying to hide.

“Maybe, I’m okay though. It was good though.”

“This is still the best ramen place in Seoul. What should we do now?”

“I could go for some dessert. Something to offset all this spice,” you replied.

“I think if I eat anything else it’s going to go straight to my ass, baby.”

“Well then we better get you something else. I love your ass.”

“I know you do, baby, you’[re always staring at it,” Johyun teased.  “I think we should go for a run and work all this off. All these carbs and salt aren’t good for us.”

“Okay, but dessert-” you protested, not wanting to exercise at such a late hour.

“Dessert can wait, babe. It’s important for us to stay healthy.”

“Fine, you’re right.” Complaining wasn’t going to do you any good.

You hated working out. Cardio was your enemy, even a brisk walk left you out of breath.

The gym did have its benefits. Johyun always showed off her big round ass in very tight leggings, leaving little to the imagination as her defined plump buttcheeks swallowed up the fabric of her pants. You never would have stepped inside a gym voluntarily.

Johyun on the other hand loved to workout. It was part of her job to be in shape, and she worked out regularly, sometimes starting as soon as she woke up which you could never wrap your head around.

You had joined this particular gym as it was closest to your shared apartment and a close distance from both of your workplaces and had the benefit of being open 24/7, which you didn’t know was a benefit or a curse. Johyun insisted on paying up front for six months, insisting it would force you to commit to an exercise routine.

Making a quick pit stop at home to pick up water and change you held the door open for Johyun as she smiled and headed in first. She wore a pink shirt underneath a black jacket, while her lower half consisted of tight dark leggings, letting you see that wonderful plump ass and her full wide hips swaying as she entered.

This gym wasn’t like the other ones you had tried, full of loud gym rats who lived to lift weights and loved to let anyone know how much they could bench. It was smaller but still had plenty of various equipment and you never had to wait long for a machine to show up, allowing you to focus on what body parts you wanted to focus on or the dreaded cardio you loathed.

It was rather late when you entered, seeing a lack of anyone else in the gym. It was your lucky day. Your eyes scanned the rows of machines, deciding what you wanted to do first. Johyun settled on the elliptical first, taking a moment to warm her body up with a stretching routine.

You started simple, doing lat pulldowns while Johyun worked her arms and legs at the same time. You were tired after just one set, while she hadn’t even broken a sweat.

She moved to the row of treadmills facing a wall of mirrors, and you followed, taking a seat in a nearby weight bench and grabbed a set of free weights, using a heavier weight than you normally did as you tried to show off.

You had the perfect view of your girlfriend as she worked out, legs moving like a gazelle as the upped the incline right away. Her leggings hugged her ass perfectly, and you couldn’t decide where you wanted your eyes there or on her bouncing breasts as she jogged at a brisk pace.

“Babe, stop staring at my ass.” she whined as she caught you in the mirror even though you both knew she loved the attention.

“How can I when it looks so good? If you didn’t want me staring then you shouldn’t have worn those pants,” you replied, catching Johyun smiling in the same mirror you were caught with.

“Fair point. Look all you want, but we’re here to workout. I don’t want you slacking!”

“I am working out,” you said, demonstrating by doing more bicep curls in succession, making a point of flexing your muscles.

“My baby is so strong! Keep going!”

It was hard to focus when you were distracted by Johyun’s scrumptious ass, but you did what you could and at least pretended to finish more reps. Johyun meanwhile had increased the speed on her treadmill as her legs flowed gracefully like water and you were tired just watching her.

You exhaled loudly after doing three sets of ten, placing your dumbbells back on the rack and took a seat back on the bench, enjoying the view of Johyun’s bouncing backside as you took a long sip of ice cold water from your bottle.

While you tried to catch your breath Johyun winded her workout down, gradually decreasing the speed until the belt on the treadmill stopped moving. She spun around on her heels, giving off a sweet smile as she saw your lethargic body resting.

“We should work on your stamina, baby. You’re exhausted and you barely did anything,” she teased.

“I did plenty! I counted at least two hundred reps. I’m gonna be feeling it in the morning.”

“Is that so?” she asked, deciding to play along. “I’m proud of you, baby.”

“Thank you,” you said as you abruptly pulled her onto your lap, close enough to smell the honeysuckle scent of her shampoo that reminded you of candy.

“I forget how horny you always get after working out,” Johyun said, tucking a strand of hair behind her hair.

“You can’t blame me when your butt looks that good in leggings,” you said, giving her ass a soft smack.

“It really does, doesn’t it?” Johyun replied, tilting her head to one side as she gave you a kiss, letting you taste her sweet lip gloss on her puckered lips.

“Now, who’s horny?”

“You caught me,” Johyun said. “We should go shower, the hot water here lasts forever.’

“We didn’t bring anything to change into and there aren’t towels after hours. We can save water and I’ll clean you up instead,” you said as you dove into her neck, running your tongue and collecting her perspiration.

“Babe, no, I’m so sweaty!”

“I know. I love it,” you said as you continued to lick the sweat off of her neck, finding her taste succulent.

“I have a better idea,” she said as she brought her lips to the side of your face, turning her voice into a mere whisper.

“I wanna suck your cock, baby.”

Her lewd words sent a shiver up your spine and you felt yourself hardening already.

“We better get going then-”

Johyun shook her head, letting her intentions be obviously known.

“I can’t wait until we’re home, baby. I wanna suck your dick right here.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. “Someone could come in and see, I don’t think this a good idea-”

Johyun interrupted you by placing a finger to your lips, silencing any further protests. “It’ll be fine. I come here almost every night and not a single person shows up. This neighborhood is full of old people so they workout in the early morning.”

“Just relax, baby. Nobody will be here,” Johyun said, giving another kiss as she used your chest to dismount your lap and lowered to her knees slowly, placing both hands in her lap and eagerly looking up.

“I want to gag on your cock, baby. I’m dying to feel it throbbing in the back of my throat, baby, please, I need your cock so bad.”

Well fuck. She had you under her spell, and you certainly weren’t going to deny a woman begging to suck your cock. Johyun smiled happily as she hooked her fingers into the waistband of your gym shorts, pulling them down to your ankles and exposing the bulge in your boxers.

“It must have been so difficult trying not to get hard while you were staring at my tight ass,” Johyun said as she pulled your cock out of your boxers, gripping it tightly and stroking, causing your first moan.

Johyun was an impatient woman which let to situations like this, wanting to have sex in as many public place as possible, now adding a gym to the list of checked off places.

“You’re like a rock already,” Johyun smiled as she gave a soft kiss on your tip, pulling the rest of your boxers down to your ankles as she squeezed your cock tighter, giving firmer strokes that made your throbbing shaft leak over her fingers.

You weren’t expecting the night to end with your pants around your ankles at your local gym, but Johyun’s spontaneity kept you on your toes.

Johyun didn’t waste time as she flattened her tongue against your shaft and slowly painted your cock with it, delivering long drawn-out strokes that caused pleasure already. She teased your swollen tip, swirling her wet tongue around it several times to increase your pre-cum, lapping up every drop of the colorless liquid.

“It’s too bad I didn’t bring my purse. You could have fucked my ass here in the gym,” Johyun taunted with a deadly smirk, knowing she always came prepared.

“We’ll just have to save that for later though,” Johyun said as she licked more of your cock, running her tongue over every surface and tasting it like it was a delicious treat for her, which it certainly was.

You never got tired of Johyun’s need to please you in public, and even though you caught yourself nervously looking around, you couldn’t help but selfishly want more.

“What is it, baby?” Johyun asked, spitting on your cock several times and jerking you off with her soft small hand as she spread her warm saliva all over.

“I wanna see your tits,” you replied, without a moment of hesitation.

“All you had to do was ask,” Johyun said as she grabbed the hem of her white top and lifted it up up and over her head, showing off an orange and red bra that you had never seen before that contained her full large breasts, the coloring popping out in the gym lights.

“Is that new?” you asked, unable to take your eyes off from her chest and taking note at how well her breasts were pushed up.

“This? It’s from my last photoshoot, they always let me keep what I model,” Johyun said. You knew she loved showing herself off during lingerie shoots, but always felt a little jealous, something she always sensed.  

“Don’t worry, baby. Everyone gets to see me with this on, but you’re the only person who gets to see me with it off,” she said, giving a reassuring smile. She kept stroking your cock slowly with one hand while the other reached behind her back, unclasping her bra. Johyun tossed it aside, exposing her large milky breasts and nothing could take your eyes off them.

Your mouth watered at the sight of her huge tits. Johyun did her best to distract you as she planted several kisses on both sides of your cock, throbbing with each contact of her lips in preparation for what was next.

“You’re so hard for me, baby,” she said, kissing and licking your tip several times, and you responded with a low groan.

“You make me so hard.”

Johyun licked her lips and ran them along both sides of your needy shaft, giving your cock one final tease. You were both more than ready as her warm lips parted with your hard shaft in between, applying a light suction as she gently sucked your tip.

You gasped at the feeling of Johyun’s soft lips wrapped around your cock as they slid back and forth, her wet tongue adding more stimulation as it played with your sensitive underside.

Johyun’s warm wet mouth felt amazing, even better the deeper she took you inside it. She swallowed up half of your shaft as she bobbed her head up and down, slurping on your cock loudly. Her tongue swirled around your cock as more of it disappeared into her warm cavern, adding endless pleasure that ran through your whole body.

“Fuck, baby, that feels so good,” you moaned as Johyun kept eye contact, watching the pleasure she was giving. Her lips were sealed tight around your throbbing cock, bobbing her head faster as she quickly covered your cock in drool.

“It’ll feel even better if you fuck my face.”

The look in her lust-filled eyes was the only invitation you needed. Johyun stuck her tongue out as you slapped your hard shaft on it several times, giving off several loud smacks as you pushed back inside the warmth of her mouth.

Johyun’s need was visible and you didn’t dawdle, grabbing onto both sides of her head and forcibly started thrusting into her mouth, fucking your girlfriend’s pretty face in the middle of your favorite gym.

You were rough right away, not letting Johyun take any adjustment as you stuffed her throat with as much cock as possible, using her wet warm mouth like a toy for your own selfish pleasure. With each movement of your hips Johyun gagged repeatedly and drool spilling out of the corners of her lips, coating your shaft in saliva as she looked up with teary eyes with nothing but satisfaction.

The only sounds that could be heard were needy pleasurable moans you both gave off and Johyun loudly gagging on your cock as her gorgeous sparkling eyes filled with tears. Wrapping your fingers around strands of hair you increased your pace even more, moving in a harsher manner drool overflowed out of her lips and spilled down to her full perfect breasts, turning her stunning face into a beautiful mess that encouraged your thrusts to be even rougher.

“You like that, baby? You like when I use you?” you growled as you slammed your shaft deep down her throat as possible, sliding every inch of your wet shaft and out mercilessly as Johyun braced herself by holding onto your thighs.

If not for the look of wanton lust in Johyun’s eyes you would have been worried about hurting her, her nails digging into your skin signaling you were meeting her standards. Not wanting to finish abruptly you slowed down your pace and held Johyun against your base, her cute nose flushed with your stomach as she looked up and continued gagging, signaling for a break as she slapped your thighs several times.

When you released her with a loud pop she gasped for air as several strands of spit connected her messy mouth to your shaft, and you slapped her gorgeous face with your cock repeatedly and rubbed your tip all over.

“You were so rough, baby. I love choking on your cock, “ Johyun said with a huge smile as she leftover spit dripped out of her mouth and she spread it all over your cock.

“We shouldn’t let all this spit go to waste,” she said as she batted her eyes, taking your cock and slapping her soft heavy breasts with it before rubbing your tip up and down her cleavage.

“I know just what you want, baby.”

With a kiss on your swollen tip Johyun slipped your throbbing cock in between her huge pillowy breasts, trapping it in between warm flesh and squeezed her tits tightly to keep you from escaping.

“Oh fuck.”

Johyun smiled sweetly and didn’t waste time, moving her chest up and down as she used her abundant chest to grind up and down your body and create delicious friction. The pleasure was intense as you watched your tip disappearing in and out of her wet cleavage with ease, being lubricated properly as your cock was surrounded by soft warm flesh.

“You like fucking these big tits?” Johyun asked as she added more drool, spitting on your cock several times to ensure the friction remained as smooth as possible. The warm mounds around your cock caused endless pleasure as her huge breasts did their job, sliding up and down around your shaft that was locked up in between her warm cleavage.    

“Fuck, baby, you know I do. It feels so fucking good.”

“You’re so easily controlled,“ Johyun teased. “I love how much my tits turn you on.”

She wrapped her soft breasts tighter, interlocking her fingers and squeezing your cock more with warm flesh everywhere that drove you insane. Johyun did her best to lick your swollen cockhead when it became visible again, sending even more electricity shooting up and down your spine with every strike of her wet tongue.

You worked together to achieve pleasure in tandem with Johyun, thrusting in between her huge soft mounds as she grinded them against your pelvis, making you moan loudly for her how good they felt around your dick.

“F-fuck, baby-”

You felt that annoying tightness in your loins that always showed up at the worst possible moment.

“You’re going to cum already?” Johyun frowned as she tightened the warm flesh around your needy throbbing shaft, not that there was anything you could have done to prevent it.

“My tits must be too much to handle,” Johyun smirked.

Truer words had never been said. You didn’t know how much longer you had, but it wasn’t more than a few seconds. Johyun’s assault with her breasts was deadly, and you couldn’t take it any longer. Savoring those final moments you watched your cock slipping in and out of her fleshy pillows, setting off your orgasm like she had just lit the fuse of a stick of dynamite.

“Cum for me, baby. Make a mess all over me.”

With a final glance between the soft flesh your cock was sandwiched in between, you throbbed wildly as you erupted in between Johyun’s tits as your toes curled. While your cock had disappeared in between her deep cleavage you filled it with several thick spurts, helping to lubricate your constant pumping motions, splashing her pretty lips and chin and painting her features white as you groaned incessantly.

Your legs shook as you were milked all over Johyun’s tits, white stickiness coated her skin as you struggled for air, your orgasm taking control of your body as Johyun rubbed your warmth into her skin, looking into one of the gym mirrors at the mess you made all over her and smiling proudly.

“We really need to work on your stamina,” she teased with her earlier words, drawing her tongue around your shaft to make sure everything had been given to her.

“Rest for a little bit, baby,” she said, flicking her tongue against your sensitive slit that caused a reaction in your whole body.

While you tried to regain your senses Johyun stood to her knees and playfully pushed you against the weight bench as you stepped out of your pants and boxers, still gasping for breath as you laid down.

She didn’t say another word as she faced away from you, still watching your reaction in the large mirror as she bent over and slowly peeled her leggings off, revealing a matching orange thong nestled in between her tight round ass.

You could feel your erection coming back to life already. Johyun kept her body bent over, rubbing her thighs before squeezing her ass, giving you the show of a lifetime. She spanked her ass on each side, the smack echoing as she wiggled her hips and shook her ass before pulling down her thong painfully slow an inch at a time, displaying her bare body for your eyes to marvel over.

Johyun’s backside was the work of hundreds of squats and dozens and dozens of hours at the game, and it was worth all that effort. You were able to see her naked body in full glory, those luscious long legs and thick creamy thighs, her beautiful ass and bare shaven pussy that looked like heaven, pink flesh dripping with arousal as you were ready for a taste.

“Since you’ve been appreciating my ass all day, I think you deserve a closer look.”

Your mouth salivated in anticipation and before you could even take another breath Johyun made her way over to the head of the weight bench, facing away from you. In one swift movement she took a squatting position and lowered herself onto you, the flesh of her bare soft ass pressed firmly against your skin, squishing your face.

There was nothing more you loved than to be Johyun’s chair, especially after a workout as you felt the warmth of her sweaty thighs surrounding your face.

“Do you like when I sit on your face, baby?” Johyun asked as she looked over her shoulder, the comforting warmth of her body pressed down as she put more weight down and smothered your face with her supple cheeks.

You found it hard to both breathe and speak, unable to form a response as you squeezed her ass in response, slapping each of her cheeks that rippled. You didn’t need to breathe when you could be suffocated by Johyun’s delicious plump ass. Blood flowed freely to your loins again, causing your erection to be at full attention.

“I can’t believe you’re hard again already,” Johyun said as she leaned forward and gripped your cock, resting a hand on your thigh while she stroked your shaft. You reciprocated and focused on giving pleasure as you licked her pink wet slit several times, making her moan.

“F-fuck, that feels good,” she moaned as she began bouncing her ass on your face, spreading her juices all over. You traced the outline of her pussy, sliding your tongue through her folds and exploring every surface you could find.

“Can you breathe, baby?”

You shook your head as you gave her pleasure, neither of you seeming to care. You saw nothing but delicious flesh in your vision as you ran your tongue through Johyun’s wetness, making her moan with every delicate movement you made.

“I can’t believe my naughty boyfriend loves being suffocated with my ass so much," she said, grinding her backside back and forth while she kept stroking your shaft.

You kneaded her soft cheeks with your hands, digging your fingers into her warm flesh. Her juices collected on your tongue and you couldn't get enough of her delicious juices spilling into your mouth.

"Mmm, fuck, that tongue feels so good. Eat my fucking pussy."

Giving several slaps on her bottom you had enough teasing and sucked on her swollen clit, making her thighs squeeze around your head tighter as she moaned with satisfaction.

Johyun kept you in between her thick thighs and you couldn't think of a better place to be then nestled under the comfort of her warm cheeks, tasting her delicious pussy like it was a full course meal.  

While you became Johyun’s personal bench, time no longer existed as you ate Johyun out. You could have been there for a few minutes or hours, keeping your hands full of her cheeks as you licked her wet pussy everywhere. You wandered aimlessly as your face became wetter with each swipe of your tongue, giving her as much pleasure as possible.

It didn’t take long for Johyun to grow selfish, no longer caring about your pleasure but focusing on her own as she rested her hands on your thighs and shoved her ass against your face. You loved everything about her taste, the way her juices flowed into your mouth and you never wanted to stop until your tongue had gone numb, grabbing her hips and forcing your tongue as deep into her tasty cunt as it would go.

“Make me cum, baby. I’m so close,” she said, closing her eyes momentarily as she moaned lustfully, wanting to savor this moment forever. Lips closed on her clit you slurped her juices that leaked out, desperate for more to fill your palette and helping her chase the end that was in sight.

“B-baby, don’t stop, please fucking stop, I’m going to cum on your face-”

It didn’t take long. Johyun’s thighs put your head in a vice-like grip, digging her nails into your skin as she hit her peak and screamed in pleasure. You felt wetness gushing everywhere, coating your face in her sweet essence as her toes curled and the thighs around your head violently trembled.

You did what you could to help her ride out her orgasm, running your tongue through every surface that contained her juices, cleaning her up and making sure not to waste a drop. It took several moments for her orgasm to subside as she released you from the constricting hold she had on you, allowing you to breathe for the first time in several minutes as you gasped for air.

“H-holy shit, baby, I came so hard,” Johyun said as she gingerly turned around to face you once more, looking down at the mess she had just left deposited on your face. You showed your appreciation by licking your lips, not even bothering to wipe her juices from your face as you pulled her into a kiss, making her taste herself on your tired lips.

“You taste so good. I wish I could eat you for every meal.”

Johyun laughed at your cheesiness, giving you another deep passionate kiss as she held onto both sides of your face.

“You made me feel so good. I want to make you feel even better.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Well...seeing as you’re still rock hard for me,” she laughed, looking back and grabbing your throbbing hard cock.

“How about I ride you, baby? You did all the work for me, so I’ll do all the work for you now.”

“Ride my cock, then.”

Johyun was quick in her approach as she climbed onto the weight bench and straddled your lap as her soft thick thighs wrapped around your waist. There was lust and hunger in her eyes as she reached back behind her and claimed your hard cock, stroking it several times and couldn’t wait to be filled up with it.

“I want you so badly, baby. Fill me up with that thick cock, will you do that for me?”

“Of course. Whatever you want, baby.”

Johyun lifted her body up, letting you see the pink glistening flesh that was your destination, rubbing your tip in between her wet folds. She felt wetter than she had when your tongue was inside, and you wanted that wetness all over your cock, something you weren’t going to wait long for.

Carefully lining up your cock with her pussy, Johyun aimed it at her dripping hot entrance. She bit her lip in preparation and pushed her hips down, parting her silky lips as she sank down and let every inch enter her body with a loud greedy moan.

“Baby, you’re so big,” Johyun said, taking a moment to gather herself as she took a deep breath. Her tight dripping walls were so warm, squeezing your shaft to make sure you weren’t leaving her body anytime soon.

With hands on her slim tight waist you shared exchanged glances of lust, waiting for the pleasure to be delivered equally.

“Ride that cock, baby” you demanded, as if she were looking for your permission. Johyun placed both hands on your chest, flashing a smile as she moved in small motions, using her hips to grind on your cock.

You felt wetness and warmth surrounding your shaft, amplified by every rock of her hips. Johyun took it slow at first, watching herself in the gym mirror.

"I can't believe we're doing this," Johyun said as she rode your cock, establishing a rhythm. Every entrance into her pussy caused a satisfied moan to escape her lips as she took you deep into her body.

Her pace quickened, hips working in smooth movements as she took your shaft inside with ease, juices lubricating to make every motion fluid as could be.

Johyun was so wet and tight around your cock as her perfect large breasts bounced up and down beautifully. You captured both mounds in your hands, squeezing the delightful soft flesh with your fingertips.

You felt your cock bring drenched with juices as Johyun rode you harder, bouncing her ass on your crotch.

With Johyun’s soft breasts in your hands you massaged them, pinching her rosy pink nipples that had stiffened at your touch. You quickly gave each of her voluptuous tits a slap, causing a gasp from Johyun as she tightened around you, signaling her enjoyment.

"Oh fuck, baby. Slap those big tits!"

You did as she asked, slapping each of tits individually in succession several times, pinching her nipples in between. You slapped both tits at the same time over and over, watching the satisfying ripple of soft flesh and the loud smack of flesh on flesh as you left your handprints on the tender skin. Johyun let out several desperate needy moans, her pussy constricting even more around your shaft.

Massaging the now tender skin, you fondled Johyun’s sore breasts, playing with her nipples as you brought your mouth to her chest, kissing each mound before licking stripes up and down her cleavage, tasting the sweat collected already.  

She flashed a look of appreciation as you dove in, latching your lips onto each of her sensitive nipples, hungrily sucking each one. Johyun whined as you slurped on her juicy tits, bouncing carelessly on your cock as you covered them in saliva, biting, licking, and sucking on her tits as if you couldn’t ever have your fill.

Johyun became more aggressive, slamming her body down hard on you as her sweaty thighs met your own, each bounce more forceful, more full of wanton desire. You kept your assault on her breasts going, giving teasing flicks against her sensitive nipples as you felt your cock being drowned in her juices.

You ran your hands all over Johyun’s sweaty body, feeling every curve of her perfectly sculpted body. Johyun moved swiftly and grabbed the back of your head, pushing you deep into her cleavage and smothering you with her large heavy breasts, the perfect resting space for your face.

“You’re gonna make me cum, baby!” Johyun cried out, as for the second time you felt it hard to breathe, not that you ever would have complained. Her nails dug into your skull as she forced you deeper into her tits, enjoying being smothered by the softest pair of pillows you’ve ever felt.

Johyun aggressively rode your cock as you tried to ilck whatever flushed skin you could find, wildly moving her hips without a care, the loud slap of skin on skin echoing all around the gym walls.

“Cum on my cock,” you muffled out, feeling the tight dripping walls of Johyun’s needy pussy pulsating around you harshly.

“I-will, f-fuck! I’m cumming, baby!”

It was quick and wordless, moans escaping Johyun’s throat as she rode you to completion. Her bouncing thighs felt so warm and soft as they crashed against your body, as did her delicious buttcheeks smacking against your own skin. In seconds flat Johyun became a loud squirming mess, drenching your crotch with her nectar as her thighs trembled violently. Her warm wet pussy pulsated while you let her have your way with you until her intense orgasm settled down.

You didn’t let up, pumping your shaft inside Johyun to catch up, desperately wanting to chase your own orgasm as well. With the intense pressure around your cock you pumped harshly inside, the slapping of your skin against her own as you fucked her, squeezing her delicious round ass.

“Are you close, baby?” Johyun asked, her voice still frail from her climax as her glazed over eyes struggled to keep open as she flashed a sweet smile.

You answered only with words, bouncing Johyun aggressively on your cock repeatedly as your eyes were unable to focus on anything besides her bouncing tits.

“I want you to cum now. Fill me up and cum inside me, please, baby, please cum for me,” Johyun begged, and it wouldn’t be much longer before she would have her wish.

The air inside the gym grew harder to breathe as you reached those final moments, watching the lustful look inside Johyun’s eyes as you both waited for the inevitable.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Johyun,” you said the final set of words before the pleasure in your body became too much to handle. With one more set of thrusts you buried your cock deep inside Johyun as your cock throbbed, mercifully emptying several spurts of hot thick semen deep into her walls all the way to her womb and keeping your hands full of her delicious asscheeks.

Johyun kept her eyes on you as you finished emptying your seed deep into her cunt, letting her pussy milk your shaft of every last drop until she had taken everything into her body as your body shook from the pleasure of such an intense orgasm.

“That’s what I like, baby,” Johyun said with a pleased smile, leaning down to give one more kiss before gently lifting her tight naked body from your depleted shaft. Your cock released from her pussy with a loud forceful pop as your freshly deposited load slowly leaked from between Johyun’s thick thighs, releasing a creamy liquid mixture of both of your bodies that escaped from her freshly fucked pussy.

“We really made a mess,” Johyun shyly said, using her tongue to clean off your cock before before grabbing the closest towel and wiping off the workout bench.

“I blame you,” you teased, still catching your breath. “Let’s get out of here and take that shower.”

✦✦

It was a safe assumption to say that Johyun was a bit of a screamer. And there was no better place to let out her lustful emotions than in your shared apartment underneath the hot water currently steaming up your large bathroom.

Water droplets bounced off Johyun’s milky wet skin as you pinned her tight naked body against the shower door, smacking your hips against her ass in a rhythm as you drilled her harshly from behind. Her large round breasts were mashed against the glass surface as her palms flattened against it, desperate to find any outlet for the sharp pleasure running up her spine as she was impaled to the hilt with a thick cock repeatedly without mercy.

“F-fuck, that’s so good! Just like that baby, don’t stop fucking me!” Johyun moaned as your hands squeezed her hips tightly, making sure her body never left your fingers.  

Hot water ran down both of your bodies, accentuating the already flawless curves of Johyun’s naked body as the smack of flesh on flesh echoed around the shower walls, mixing with needy screams and cries of pleasure. The shower door shook with every thrust of your shaft, moving in and out of her pussy carelessly as your hands moved from Johyun’s full wide hips up to her soapy wet breasts and squeezed firmly.

“You like being fucked like this?” you growled near Johyun’s ear, feeling her wet walls clenching around your cock in response that brought a smile on your features from ear to ear as your bodies crashed together and you nibbled on her earlobe.  

“Y-yes, f-fuck, yes, baby I do!”

While you appreciated Johyun’s love of public sex and the thrill it brought, you vastly preferred fucking her in the privacy and comfort of your apartment, able to freely let out your raw emotions and be as loud as you wanted without bothering anyone else.

You gave Johyun a handful more thrusts before letting your cock slip out of her tight pussy as she whined cutely from being abruptly empty, a feeling that wouldn’t last long thankfully.

Taking a moment to admire the view, every curve and naked flesh of Johyun’s bare body, you rubbed your wet shaft all over the inner flesh of her warm soapy thighs, and she knew just what to do as her thighs closed around your shaft, trapping you in between them - one of your favorite places to be.

Johyun’s sculpted body was nothing but perfect, every body part flawless and worked together to create a work of art. It was regretful to not be able to see Johyun’s big supple breasts, your favorite part of her body if you had to pick one, but being able to fuck her thighs was just as pleasurable to you.

Her thighs brought immense pleasure, just as much as other parts of her body. They were thick, creamy, and most importantly felt amazing wrapped around your dick, you never wanted to leave their comfort.

They felt softer than silk as your cock was sandwiched in between her warm flesh, using her muscles and squeezing tight to keep you trapped inside her thighs, a destination you never wanted to leave.

“Mmm, baby, fuck those thighs,” Johyun pleaded, as your throbbing cock slowy slid in and out of her soft flesh, the body wash left all over her body making it the perfect lubricant to allow the smoothest friction possible. You held onto Johyun’s insanely wide hips, letting out needy groans that echoed as your shaft was being smothered by the softest thing you’ve ever felt and giving off heavenly sensations.

You closed your eyes for just a moment, allowing yourself to fully appreciate the feeling of delicious soft flesh surrounding your cock as your pace increased. When you opened your eyes back up you felt a wetness forming, not just from the shower but the juices from Johyun’s leaking pussy, aiding your ability to thrust even more so and ensuring this was something you were both enjoying.

“That feels so good, baby. Does it feel good for you? Does it feel good to fuck my thighs?” Johyun asked, her legs squeezing even tighter as you gasped at the pleasure that was driving you insane.

You didn’t feel like answering, not that Johyun didn’t already know how good you felt in that moment as every bit of pleasure shot through each section of your body, jolts of electricity putting you in a deep euphoric state.

“I wish I could fuck these thighs forever,” you said, increasing your pace even more as you felt a familiar tightness in your abdomen, a sensation you were equal parts thankful and annoyed at.

“If you work on your stamina maybe you can,” Johyun teased, and you couldn’t think of a better set of motivation.

It was like your body was taunting you as you felt your climax approaching right then, a moment that Johyun couldn’t help but notice, but you still felt the need to announce.

“I’m going to fucking cum,” you hissed, louder than expected.

“Cum for me, baby. Make a mess all over my thighs.”

It really didn’t take much longer. Gripping her hips tightly as you could, you kept the slippery motion going until you knew you had to give in, throbbing between the warm flesh you were trapped between as you shot hot cum onto Johyun’s thighs, grunting with every spurt as the rest of your load sprayed the shower door.

You kept pumping in between Johyun’s thighs as long as you could stand it, never wanting to forget the euphoric feeling as your cock was milked again for the second time. Your thrusts began subsiding until your sensitivity kicked in and you could barely move, resting between Johyun’s warm thighs as you recovered, catching your breath.

You slowly withdrew from the warmth of Johyun as she spun around to meet you, a smile curled on her lips.

“We didn’t get very clean did we?” Johyun said with a cute tilt of her head, grabbing the shower head as she washed the suds off her body.

“I only have you to blame.”

Johyun’s mouth opened in surprise. “Me? You have your share too!” she whined in protest.

“But you seduced me with your body. Like you always do.”

She couldn’t help but giggle. “You caught me. I’m guilty," she said with a perfect smile on such a perfect face as she made sure to wash off every bit of soap before turning off the water.

The two of you stepped out of the shower, Johyun grabbing a towel to tie up her hair while she dried the rest of her body. It didn't take you long to towel off as you headed into the bedroom and flopped face first into the sheets with exhaustion, not even bothering to get dressed.

Johyun stepped out of the shower shortly after, tossing her towel off her hair when she saw your lifeless body on the bed and joining, pressing her body against yours as you could feel her breasts on your back.

"Baby, don't tell me you're going to sleep already. You still need to fuck me some more," she said abruptly.

"You wore me out," you replied, grabbing a pillow and burying your face in it, pretending to sleep.

"Baby…" Johyun whined, rubbing your shoulders and kissing the back of your neck.

"I can't believe we had sex in the gym and nobody caught us," Johyun said.

You lazily flipped around, meeting her gaze as her hands rested on your shoulders.

"We shouldn't have gotten caught since you said nobody goes there at night."

"Usually."

"Usually?" you repeated.

"Nobody showed up the few times I went there, so it was a safe assumption."

"Few times? I thought you went there every night."

"I do, but I just started going there a couple weeks ago," Johyun said, smiling mischievously.

You couldn’t shake the feeling that you had been tricked.

"But you know the neighborhood, right? Nothing but old people?"

"I have no idea, baby. I just go there after work," she said as her grin increased.

"Johyun. We really could have gotten caught-"

"But we didn't, did we?"

"You're bad."

"Oh? Am I?" Johyun asked as she bit the tip of one of her fingertips.

"Yes. My baby was naughty tonight wasn't she?"

"But you love when I'm naughty don't you?"

“You know I do. You’re my naughty little slut,” you said, responding with a quick slap on her bare ass, causing a gasp to escape her lips.

“Are you going to punish your naughty little slut?” Johyun asked, biting her lip deeply and staring into with the deepest gaze.

“I just might do that. How should I punish you?”

“You should fuck me. Fuck me so hard that I can’t walk tomorrow. “

You furrowed an eyebrow in response at such something relatively tame. “But I do that every day, that doesn’t like much of a punishment. “

“Then fuck me here,” Johyun said as she guided one your hands between her plump ass, spreading her cheeks to let you know just where she wanted you. You teased her puckered hole with your middle finger, looking at the look of approval in her eyes.

“Is there where you want it? You want my cock right here?” you asked.

Johyun playfully nodded. “I know you’ve been dying to fuck my ass since we left the gym. Well now you have the chance, don’t you baby?” she asked, gesturing towards the bedside table drawer.

You both smiled together as Johyun climbed off your body, positioning herself onto the bed on her hands and knees while you grabbed a bottle from the drawer. You never got tired of the sight of Johyun’s big round ass as you lined yourself, feeling the blood to your loins again as you were hard as a rock.

Before you did anything you squeezed Johyun’s buttcheeks firmly, giving each one a hard slap as her soft flesh rippled. You gave her beautiful supple ass repeated smacks, the loud crack of your palm on her flesh until her cheeks had a light pink tone on them, continuing to smack Johyun’s plump ass until you were satisfied.

“Is this my punishment?”

“Of course not, baby. I know you love this too much.”

You caught a smirk on Johyun’s face as she looked over her shoulder, watching as you continued slapping her ass under her skin was sore, rubbing your hands all over her skin to soothe out the stinging sensations.

“I do love it,” Johyun said, wiggling her ass cheeks as you continued caressing her tender skin.

“But I’ll love it even more when you put that cock in my ass,” she said with a devilish smile that you returned. You lubed up her tight puckered hole and your shaft, admiring what a perfect backside she had as you gave her body a gentle push. Johyun got the hint, sliding her long legs under your body and laying flat on her stomach, allowing you to take her at your mercy as her naked body was completely prone.

You positioned yourself carefully after taking a moment to admire Johyun’s full supple ass and the soft cheeks you were about to drive yourself deep into, spreading your thighs wide and resting them on the outside of her ass.

You gave her full tender cheeks another smack with both hands and brought your shaft in the middle of them, gently thrusting in between the warmth and softness of her flesh, sampling the appetizer before you were about to have the main course. With your slick cock in one hand you lined yourself up with the puckered hole waiting patiently for you, holding a hip with the other as you teased Johyun’s back entrance you were about to enter.

“Put it in my ass already, baby,” Johyun whined, sharing your impatience as your tip rubbed against the rim of her ass. Pushing carefully, you let out a light moan as you entered Johyun’s tight asshole with your tip, watching it slowly sink inside as you penetrated her more intimate area.

Johyun took a deep breath as her muscles relaxed, allowing you to push deeper into her ass with ease. This wasn’t the first time you had partaken in anal sex. Hell it wasn’t even the first time that week that you had entered her tighter hole. Johyun loved anal as much as you did thankfully, with an ass like hers that she was proud of it wasn’t surprising that she loved it being filled, wanting you to take her in her butt just as much as her other holes.

“You can go deeper, baby,” Johyun said, a set of words that you were always happy to hear as you filled her more inch by inch as her ass swallowed up more of your shaft. The tightness you felt squeezing your shaft as you pushed in deeper was like nothing else you’ve felt. Her ass was so much tighter than her pussy, which already was incredibly tight hugging your cock and refusing to let go. Each inch that entered Johyun’s body was clenched tight, fitting perfectly inside her until you had filled her up to the hilt.

You gave her a moment to adjust to your length, which wasn’t necessary as expected.

“F-fuck, baby you feel so good inside me. Fuck my ass, baby.”

You didn’t have to be told twice. You held onto her wide hips and began thrusting in and out of her incredibly tight ass, feeling the deep clench of your shaft with every movement. You didn’t bother with any type of build up, you knew she didn’t need it as you gave hard forceful thrusts into her ass, using the power in your hips as your cock stretched her tight little hole.

“How does that ass feel, baby?” Johyun asked.

“So good. You’re so fucking tight, baby,” you replied as you formed a rhythm, moving in and out of Johyun’s super tight asshole at a steady pace.

“Harder, baby. Pound my ass.”

You wanted nothing more as you held onto both of her delicious ass cheeks for leverage and upped your pace, pressing your fingers into the soft flesh as your hips smacked against her ass, causing the bed to squeak loudly with every motion.

“Oh fuck, just like that, baby. That cock feels so good in my ass.“

You were losing your mind at how good the pleasure felt. Your lubed cock slid in and out to the hilt with each thrust, the loud slap of flesh on flesh filled the room as you pounded into Johyun’s tight little hole. Her face was buried into the mattress as her hands formed tight fists, squeezing the bed sheets desperately and trying to find an outlet for the intense pleasure as you impaled her repeatedly.

“You’re so deep in my ass, don’t stop!” Johyun cried out, as you were giving her body the hardest thrusts possible. Her cries, moans, and gasps were every bit of encouragement you needed as you slammed into her ass, using every bit of force to make sure she felt every bit of your cock.

You loved being this rough with Johyun, and judging by the constant stream of drawn-out moans she loved it just as much, taking every thrust so well.

“Oh god, baby, I love when you fuck me like this. Keep fucking my ass, don’t stop until you cum in it!”

Well, you certainly didn’t want to disappoint her. You held onto her shoulders as you pounded into her tight gripping asshole, the bed shaking wildly underneath each harsh thrust in a way you weren’t sure it was going to hold.

Sweat began misting on your body, dripping down your forehead as you kept up the merciless pace. You were giving Johyun everything you had as she moaned lustfully with every thrust, taking every inch of your cock so well and not wanting you to let up.

“I’m so close, baby,” you moaned out as you continued pounding her ass roughly as possible, feeling the hot tightness of her hole as you used it for your pleasure, causing the flesh of her big ass to ripple as you pumped in and out of her.

“Cum inside me, baby. Fill my ass.”

“I fucking will,” you growled back, slamming into Johyun’s ass as hard as you could, losing your self control as you drilled into her hot tight hole and savored those final moments. It was so rough, so raw, so animalistic that you couldn’t help last that much longer.

It took just a handful of thrusts more before you reached your limits, throbbing inside Johyun as you sent spurts of thick hot cum deep into her impossibly tight ass, filling her up to the brim. The two of you moaned together as your shaft continued emptying into Johyun, draining your balls as her body milked you dry of every drop, making sure you didn’t leave a single drop outside.

You rested for several moments, attempting to catch your breath as you press your body against Johyun, kissing her neck several times just below her ear, sharing a chorus of heaving breathing and gasps.

“Baby...you came so much inside me,” Johyun said proudly as you kissed her shoulders and upper back. “It’s so warm…”

When you feel your breathing had normalized, you slowly slipped your shaft out of Johyun’s backside an inch at a time. You watched your generous load leaking out of Johyun’s gaping asshole and dripping down her thighs, a warm thick stream that flowed freely and spilled onto the sheets.

“You made me cum so much,” you replied, crashing besides her onto the mattress in an exhausted heap.

“Wanna go again?” Johyun teased, running a finger through her messy thighs to collect a sample of your freshly given semen before taking it into her mouth and sucking it clean. You were too exhausted to formulate any type of response, and Johyun took your silence as an answer as her sweaty body rested against yours.

“You really did a number on me, baby,” Johyun said, her massive breasts resting on your chest as she smiled sweetly at you.

You could only stare at Johyun’s beauty, trying to think of anything to say but finding words difficult in that moment. Sometimes it was better off this way. You didn’t care how long it took to work on your stamina, knowing that it meant countless hours of sex with Johyun was the best possible way to train.

[lillian-nator]

Ranch AU

Or, as we all call it, The Cowboy AU 

Essentially, this was something that I created, and it’s gonna be purely fluffy, with a small bit of angst here and there. Any of the angst will be hurt/comfort. It’s meant to make us all feel better after those fucking harsh lore streams. I started it, based off of some shit in the Dad!Schlatt AU, and after that I honestly didn’t write most of it. It had really been a project in the discord, because we were all sad and shit, so if you have some fluff to offer, please do! I am happy to make almost anything canon - and we could always use more ideas. :)

I hope you enjoy some mindless farm boi fluff!

BASIC INFO: 

It's SBI's Ranch (Phil is Dadza, Tommy, Techno, and Wilbur are his sons)

Phil, sells to the local stores, and manages the crops. He doesn't do too much labor anymore. He hired his boys for that.

Dream, SapNap, Purpled, Tubbo, Callahan, and Punz are all hired farm hands

George, Niki, Ranboo, and Fundy work at the shop where they sell their products; Niki makes all of the dairy products, Fundy and Ranboo stock, label prices, and keeps track of sales, and George works customer service with his Gogy magic.

Wilbur works with the sheep, the goats, and he trains the dogs (Collies - they herd sheep), he also works with the crops a lot

Schlatt isn't hired but he might as well be. He can be found wherever Wilbur is, and is probably drinking a beer he stole from Phil. He doesn't get paid, but he eats all of their food.

Tommy works with the cows, the pigs, the chickens, the horses (sometimes), his goose, and the dogs / cats that they own

Tubbo works with Tommy. Essentially. But he also works on the crops, and the bee farm that they have set up.

Techno works with the horses, and is currently training to be a veterinarian.

Dream works on horses with Techno - they race the horses competitively - but otherwise, is where ever he is needed (usually crops)

Purpled works with Tommy and Tubbo. He mostly works with Tubbo on crops and his bee farm.

Punz and SapNap haul things. As your resident Chads, they are in-charge of moving heavy things and doing manual labor.

Callahan is their repair man. He fixes tractors, and machines on a daily basis.

SOME HEADCANNONS: 

HENRY, a saga:

that henry has a matching bandana to the one Tommy has so that everyone knows thats henry. Tommy doesn't like it when people touch henry so henry gets a bandana - Shark -

when Phil first started raising Tommy, he would've never guessed that he would turn out the way he did.

He was loud, and brash, and hit his brothers, and made fun of the neighbor's kids,  but then Tubbo became Tommy's best friend, and then Phil introduced Tommy to the cows.

The cows are Tommy's everything.

When a Bred Heifer is due, he sits with them everyday past their due date - he sat with Betty for 5 days when she wouldn't birth a calf. He was so fucking worried.

When one of his cows are sick, he sleeps in the barn until they get better. His last days with Harvey fucked him up.

Tubbo, Tommy, Purpled, and Ranboo spend long nights at the farm, and Tommy always leans against Henry as he stares up at the stars.

Henry who his best girl (all cows are girls and Tommy doesn't give a shit about gendered names). Henry who wears a matching bandana. Henry who is fluffy, and warm, and Tommy's everything. -

Sometimes when Tommy had a bad day, whether it’s stress, or school, or just whatever, Tommy sleeps in the Henry’s stall with her. Phil has so many pictures of Tommy curled up with Henry. From when she was first born to now. - Eye

Tommy hates winter because that’s the one time of year Phil won’t let him sleep in the barn. Even with the layers and heat lamps it’s too unsafe. Tommy always gets up extra early in the winter. Both because he has to check and break ice in the water troughs but also because he misses his girl - Eye -

Henry's mother, Betty, was the first Cow Tommy had helped during birth. He sat with her for 5 days when she hadn't gone into labor past her due date. It took 9 hours for Henry to be born, and Tommy was there through the entire thing -

Well, almost the entire thing. He was at school for the first hour of labor, and was so pissed at Phil when Phil knew and didn't immediately come get Tommy from School.

It always felt like Tommy and Henry had a special bond because Tommy literally raised Henry from birth. -

They didn't think Henry was gonna make it when she was first born, but Tommy was fucking determined, and bottle fed that cow every single day and night. When she was slowly weened off milk, Tommy got unironically sad that he didn't have to bottle feed her anymore.

He still visited her every morning, and milked her mother at dawn, right after he got eggs from his hens. -

Henry waits for Tommy at the end of their long ass drive way when he gets home from school. She knows that when the bus pulls up that her boy is back and so she’s always there waiting lazily for pets and a nice walk together back to the house. Even when it’s cold and someone is waiting for the kids to get home in an ATV or something Tommy always walks back to the house with Henry - Eye

Thinking about how long these fucking country roads are. And how Tommy and Tubbo have the same bus stop even though Tubbo and Tommy's houses are a couple of miles away. Tommy has to walk a mile to get to the beginning of his driveway, and seeing his favorite girl there is like a reward at the end of a journey. Tommy probably keeps a bag of feed in his backpack, which is just a mixture of grain, hay and corn, and gives Henry a handful to thank her for waiting for him.

Clementine, The Goose: 

Tommy has a goose, and names it Clementine. 

He found her in the woods one day, when she was very young, and he decided he was going to keep Clementine. 

Clementine is only ever nice to Schlatt and Tommy. No one knows why. 

Clementine follows Tommy around. Very endearing. 

Phil doesn’t question it at this point 

NEW MILO, the sequel:

OG Milo is a kitten that Wilbur found on the side of the road, in the rain, and he took the kitten in, trying to save him. Wilbur immediately got attached.

Techno pulled an all nighter, half spent  trying to save OG Milo and the other half comforting Wilbur. "You couldn't have helped, he was too starved and out in the rain for too long." Phil adds that if Techno can't save something, it can't be saved. - Ethan

Wilbur's next cat was named New Milo in honor - Ethan

Anyway, New Milo has three kittens. Blood God, Boots (given to Fundy), and Bumbles (given to Tubbo). They're called the Bees and they were born Christmas Eve - Ethan

BLOOD GOD, the pussy:

Blood God is Techno's cat. Its just a ferall little molly that loves techno too much. - M -

After Techno helped New Milo have her litter, he wasn't originally gonna keep any of the kittens, but he saw this tiny thing with the orange muzzle and just: stole her.

He is also nicknamed Blood God, for both his skill in hunting and healing

He originally named her Piglet because the orange spot looked like a pig snout [the main reason he chose her and not her stronger littermates] but called her Blood God teasingly when he first adopted her

Wilbur didn't realize he meant it as a nickname and told everyone her name was Blood God

Techno still calls her Piglet, but everyone else calls her Blood God because that's the name on her collar.

Most of their cats aren't collared, but Phil made her a custom collar because he was worried she'd get lost hunting with Techno and Dream - Ethan -

Blood God is such a batshit cat. She's a runt, really, oddly small compared to her siblings, and she's their best mouser

She's the cat that everyone leaves scraps for, but never tries to pet out of fear

Often she'll climb up people's legs and sit on their shoulders, and it's the only time you can pet her.

She is very, very affectionate with Techno and he loves her very much. He has her very well trained, and she comes with him and Dream when they go hunting sometimes alongside a terrier.

She's a little itty bitty calico molly and she has an orange patch right over her muzzle - Ethan

TOMMY'S HENS, the chicks:

He gets real defensive of his hens. They lay eggs for him. They deserve to be treated well. -

Tommy does in fact have an egg incubator; Sometimes it's just better. Tommy prefers letting his hens care for their own eggs, but he does still use the incubator - Ethan -

Some chickens enjoy being thrown so they can flap and shit. A few days after passing ownership of the hens to Tommy, Phil is going down to the crops and just sees Tommy chucking his hens and watching them rush back to be thrown again

he feels a hint of "what the hell" but he notes the gentleness tommy does it with and how the chickens seem to be enjoying it and he shrugs and keeps walking - Ethan -

Once Wilbur was helping Tommy with the chickens and he dropped an egg

Unfertilized, of course, but Tommy looked like you'd just punted a toddler

Three years later, Wilbur isn't allowed to touch the eggs anymore

Tommy's paranoid he'll hurt a live one

"Get out." "What - Tommy it was an accident, it was just one egg." "If you aren't gonna treat Phoebe's eggs with care; You can get the fuck out." "Tommy -" "Out." -

the quality chicken eggs depends usually on how the chicken feels. While under his care, the eggs the chickens produced were really good.

Under Tommy's care? Phil's eggs tasted like horseshit in comparison - Ethan -

They have their like, main barn and to the side of it is a little pond. The chicken coops are a little beside it, with the singular duck coop (he only has four ducks) closest. He calls the area the Business Bay

AGES: 

Tommy - 16 Tubbo - 16 Purpled - 17 Ranboo - 17

Techno - 19 Wilbur - 21 Schlatt - 19 Phil - idk like 45 or some dad shit

Fundy - 18 Niki - 19

SapNap - 18 Dream - 19 George - 20 Punz - 19 Callahan - 20

RANDOM HC’S: 

Tubbo, Niki, Ranboo, and Fundy are siblings. -

Whenever they eat meat they talk about who they're eating. 

They tell stories about their day and such but they always start dinner, when its meat, saying "rip lmao" and telling stories about them

...they don’t do it when they eat beef

Everyone sitting down with their plates of ham Wilbur: so who was it? Phil: Fern Tommy, already eating: rest in peace fern Techno: he shat on my boots once -

Each of the boys get a few animals that aren't allowed to be butchered.

Wilbur has Friend, Enemy, and Skit the Bull. (Wilbur wanted to name a Bull "Shit", but Phil said no because Tommy was 11 and already swearing too much for his liking)

Techno has none of the livestock. He only cares about Blood God, and his horses.

Tommy has a pig [currently unnamed], his Hens (6 or 7 of them, that lay eggs), and his dairy cows -

Phil is ALWAYS chewing on straw. -

Tommy, Techno, and Wilbur all call Phil "Pops" or "Pop". They all used to call him "Papa" though. It's like a coming of age thing for the three of them, when they stop calling him "Papa" and start calling him "Pop".

Phil may or may not have cried when Tommy started calling him "Pop" at the age of 12.

ALTHOUGH, all 3 boys know that if you want anything, you call Phil "Papa". Phil can't resist it. -

Techno and Tommy with starry eyes: pops Phil: no Wilbur: Papa Phil, with slightly less confidence: n-no   - Ethan -

Tommy holding a baby calf in his hands that he walls to bring inside for the night because hes in love with her: papa please!! Phil, practically in tears: fine.   - M

[kurosawa-family]

(Kazuha and Convoitise) [ SHIELD ] + reverse(?

𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓 𝐀 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒.

[ SHIELD ]:     in order to protect them from physical harm caused by a third party, the sender shoves the receiver against the wall and shields them with their body.

[ It was yet another side of the Kurosawa family very, very few people get to see, but obviously, under the worst circumstances possible. Honestly, what the fuck was up with that? But that's not the problem right now! That main problem was that some jackasses tried to hurt Kazuha, and he just happened to walk by... But his rage got out of hand in the process when just a few words got out of those creatures... ]

❛ Why are you trying help that wrench!? Her blood is filthy! ❜

[ He knew, ok? He knew Kazuha could easily erase them. He knew her power was just a little bit greater than Mystic's. He knew she could handle this alone... But it happened in the middle of the night, in a place where barely anyone goes there, and man. These people were getting on his fucking nerves. He looked at Kazuha while he took a few hits with that little carefree smile of his, and pressed a hand on her eyes before she could say anything else. His back was bleeding, and his blood could be smelled for the very first time: It was... Sweet. It smelled like chocolate, maybe with something else, but it was way too sweet to tell the difference. ]

Kazuha, I want you to close your eyes, ok? Do that one fav9fromme, and I'll take you to that café you always talk about, ok?

[ Ok, he was just way too calm, and it was concerning. Without taking his hand out just yet, Kazuha could hear something near snapping, that being Convoitise neck turning around to see the faces of those little shits that dared to touch his friend and future sister-in-law. His smile was now at an unnatural angle, showing his pointy teeth and his large fangs. Once sure Kazuha wasn't looking, he stepped up, now looking at them with his now many green and golden snake-looking eyes appearing in his body, his hands and forearms turning into something black as sticky, making them look like claws. ]

Daddy needs a few stress toys tonight~...

Huff... Huff... OK, you can look now, Kaz. Sorry about the noise they made... They sounded like pigs in slaughter, though... Heheh~

[ Once tha white-haired girl opened her eyes, the blood's splatters could reach Convoitise's thigh, his face was covered in blood and there was mysterious and little pieces of meat in his mouth. Not too far away from them, there they were; the dismembered, split and open bodies of the people that dared to mock and hurt Kazuha, and yet Convoitise was acting like nothing ever happened. And thankfully he was normal again. ]

So! How about we go to that place that had those desserts you love so much? My treat!

[boundless11]

I’m quite new to this fandom.  I love all the characters on CK and I’ve enjoyed watching their growth over the seasons. What I can’t understand is the amount of unnecessary hate Sam gets.  What’s worse is, other characters (who I won’t mention) have made mistakes, yet nobody complains about them. I like Sam as a character and sometimes we forget that this show has teens, who make mistakes. Sam is no different. If she was perfect, she would be boring.  But the fact she has flaws makes her more realistic and interesting.  I came across this Youtube channel called Watch Party, which had negative videos regarding Sam, while taking it all out of context.  She’s had so many positive developments over the three seasons and I feel they’re really underrated.

‘Everyone’s got a sob story.  Doesn’t give you the right to be a bully.’  This is where some fans have had a problem with her.  Didn’t she confront Kyler about him bullying Miguel and the boys? Have they forgotten that she was also bullied in season one?  Kyler tried to take advantage of her during their date, but she fought back.  He then spread those nasty rumours about her, she got dumped by her friends and she was the victim of cyberbullying.  Over the course of the seasons, she has learnt to become a better person. She could’ve easily been against Yasmin and Demetri’s relationship.  Afterall Yasmin was the cause of the cyberbullying in season one and now Sam and Demetri are good friends, you’d think she’d have a problem with it. But she didn’t; she was surprised when she caught them making out, but nevertheless, she was happy for them at the end.  

Sam doesn’t take responsibility for her actions, she is the cause of all the drama:  Another argument from fans.  Well if there was no drama, it wouldn’t be interesting. She’s not the only character to cause drama.  She does take responsibility for her actions countless times over the course of the show and due to this, she does then go onto have better relations with Miguel, Moon and Yasmin by season three-she’s even approaches their table during lunch after Hawk destroys Demetri’s model.  When Miguel asks her whether they could start over, she agrees. During her date with Miguel, when she’s bragging about the season tickets for the Lakers, she stops herself realising Miguel isn’t as privileged as her, but invites him to a game with her.  She even felt guilty about keeping her relationship with Miguel a secret from her parents and she admitted this to Robby as they drove to the canyon party and from what I remember, she sped down as she was eager to get to Miguel and make it up to him.  She is constantly apologising:

·      To Aisha regarding their strained relationship

·      During 80s night, she apologised to Tory telling her she just wanted to order food

·      During that same night, she did brush Miguel off after he wanted to make amends and later, she thought it was him and began her apology, but it turned out to be Robby.  

·      She was about to come clean to Robby about the kiss but the bell rang.

·      She apologised to Miguel at the hospital because she felt guilty that he’d seriously been hurt because of her actions.

She knew the school fight had started because of the kiss at the party and acknowledged it, therefore taking responsibility for it. Some of us forget that Miguel also kissed her back.

Sam is flirtatious especially with Robby while she was with Miguel: she was being friendly.  That’s who she is. She even thanked Miguel for sticking up for her and for allowing her to join his group for the pig dissection.

Sam is a caring individual:

·       ‘What’s with the doom and gloom?’ Sam knew Miguel was upset over something and was supportive telling him: ‘I’m sure you did amazing again.’ She tried to distract him by telling him about the student in her class who hadn’t showered.  During their date, she let him ‘correct’ her stance before flipping him on the ground. She wanted to impress him and you could see it from her face when she finished the move.  

·      She even defended Cobra Kai to her dad insisting that just because the kids who were a part of it, it didn’t mean they were horrible kids.

·      Robby would still be on the streets; Sam realised Robby’s living arrangements weren’t great, so she told her dad.  

·      When Miguel fell following the school fight, she along side Hawk were one of the first ones to reach him.  She later admitted that she didn’t care about Tory and she just wanted Miguel to be okay.  

·      She was supportive of Miguel at the hospital telling him he was the one who could beat the odds knowing how worried he was about his surgery.  Wasn’t she the one who came up with the idea to raise funds for his surgery through the car wash?  She didn’t want Carmen to be in debt.

·      She did keep in contact with Robby while he was in Juvie, but eventually stopped when he didn’t respond.

Sam is fiercely loyal/open minded:

·      She’s defended Demetri from CK and Miguel from Robby

·      She didn’t want the Myagi Do name to be tarnished, so along with Miguel, tried to get the All Valley reinstated and succeeded.

·      She stopped her dad from annihilating Kreese in the season 3 finale; she knew about guilt and it’s effects on a person and she didn’t want that for her dad.

·      She listened to Robby about Myagi Do needing more offence and tried to beg her dad to teach them some more offence.  

·      She also accepted Mitch (after he’d tried to attack Demetri) and the others from CK.

·      She also came up with the idea of uniting Myagi Do and Eagle Fang because she realised CK was the bigger threat.  Fans loved this team up of Johnny and Daniel but forget that Sam was behind it.

·      Didn’t she also tell Miguel that Eagle Fang was welcome to train at Myagi Do, knowing that they were training in a park?

And yes she’s made mistakes:

·      She should’ve told her parents about the accident but how many of us as teens kept stuff from our parents?

·      She told Miguel to change dojos, but that was only so her dad could approve of the relationship, because she really liked Miguel.

·      She ignored Miguel’s attempts for reconciliation; maybe she needed some space and wanted to focus on karate to help clear her mind. She didn’t like what Miguel was becoming –a bully-because she had already dated a bully before-Kyler. She wasn’t going to make the same mistake again.

·      She did accuse Tory at the Beach Club, but it didn’t help when Tory had stolen a bottle and was bragging how she could steal everyone’s silverware?  And Tory was the one who tripped Sam at the rink. Sam just retaliated.

·      She did lead the Myagi Do into an attack, which didn’t go as planned. But that was only after she got sick of the way they were being treated by CK and Blatt.

What’s funny is she told Miguel she wouldn’t come to the tournament, but she ended up going. In a way, I feel her presence there allowed Miguel to do well because he wanted to impress her and the more she tried to hide it, the more driven he became. He used that anger, which was directed at Robby to win the tournament.

Feel free to add your thoughts guys!

[keets-writing-corner]

I need to guuuuuuuuuuuuuush

I’m absolutely obsessed with Owari No Seraph/Seraph of the End. It has everything I want in a story

okay this got long so I put a cut

A romance I’m actually invested in: 1) it’s gay, like not even ambiguously gay, like very explicitly gay and it’s remarkable 2) it’s somehow enemies to lovers, best friends to lovers, and childhood friends to lovers ALL AT THE SAME TIME 3) the mutual pining is ridiculous, but manifests in “I MUST PROTECT” 4) omg they’re so devoted to each other???? 5) heavily implied in the anime and manga that they are each other’s reason for living after their trauma

Ambiguous characters: 1) we’ve got not one, not two, BUT THREE HIGH RANKING CHARACTERS within their respective organizations with THEIR OWN AGENDAS, screw whoever gets in their way 2) one of the said lovers from above pairing? Technically, he’s officially on one side, but he makes it very clear he actually doesn’t care about anyone EXCEPT his love interest and actively goes behinds people’s backs all the time to get what he wants. He has exactly 0 trust except for his love interest, which means he’ll literally fight both sides to make sure love interest is safe 3) THE FREAKING QUEEN, at first she’s like in a terrible one sided relationship with one of the characters with like... uh what’s it called? Power imbalance? Like she is 100% in control of this other person because they are wholly dependent on her, and she knows it, and often calls this other person her pet, and like, you think you’re supposed to hate her because she’s one of the contributing factors to the other character’s trauma but then it’s like, wait, actually, maybe she ALSO has ulterior motives and is one of the few people said character can actually trust with their wellbeing and their own interests being the only one who actively helps them with it 4) HMMM THAT SUPER SHADY DEMON/HUMAN ROMANCE YOU KNOW THE ONE IM TALKING ABOUT

Characters that suffer: okay listen, all of the characters have suffered through trauma, but special shout-out to Mika who has gone through my favorite kind of trauma to watch that develops characters. Spoilers for the rest of this paragraph so if you want to check out the show skip over it. okay gone? for real? you okay with getting spoiled if you haven’t seen yet? alright. last chance. Okay so first thing we know about Mika is that he’s an orphan and has a found family with his orphanage group right? even when they’re all being held captive by vampires underground, he at least has his family. Mika goes above and beyond to make sure that despite that they’re essentially just acting as the vampires’ blood-stock that their time there isn’t as bad as it could be. He offers himself up to one of the nobles, saying the noble can suck his blood if he gives him things, so he gets stuff like actual real food for his family to eat. In the manga, you can see that this is really draining on him, but he does it to see his family happy. Mika also knows that his crush absolutely hates it there, so he plans an escape, except oops they all get ambushed by the very noble he stole from and was swindling, and literally everyone gets killed in front of him except his crush, well I guess at the time he was too young for crush, so I’ll just call him Yuu. Anyways. Mika and Yuu manage to knock out the vampire noble working together, but Mika is fatally wounded so only Yuu actually escapes. AND THEN MIKA IS FORCIBLY TURNED INTO A VAMPIRE BY THE QUEEN, like he hates vampires, he considers them monsters, he doesn’t want eternal life or whatever, AND SHE FREAKING TURNS HIM TO KEEP HIM FROM DYING (the way she does it too could be considered traumatizing as well) and then he proceeds to be raised by people he considers monsters and hates that he’s become a vampire, and like does everything in his power to not drink human blood (resorting to drinking the Queen’s blood, and she’s fine with it cuz it keeps him completely dependent on her) like MMMM THAT POWER IMBALANCE IN A WORLD FULL OF THE MONSTERS YOU HATE WHILE BECOMING ONE YOURSELF IS ALREADY DAMAGING ENOUGH, and then he finds out that the very adults he used to trust as a child, were actually just treating him and his found family as guinea pigs and lab rats and that the only people who actually cared about him was his found family, who are all gone except for Yuu who isn’t there, so yeah oops, he hates humans now too. Like mmmm that is some tasty juicy angst right there. It manifests in him never smiling anymore, never speaking, just sitting there stoically. Like this was the little boy who was happy smiles all the time, either when he was genuinely happy with his family or putting on an act to deceive and he’s just so broken after the timeskip that we never see him smile until late in season 2. OH LETS NOT FORGET THE WHOLE VAMPIRE THING RIGHT? Mika doesn’t want to drink blood, but his body compells him to. He refuses to at least drink human blood, which works for a while but by the time the second season rolls around, the queen’s blood just isn’t cutting it anymore and there are so many scenes where his instincts take over and he almost bites someone only to snap out of it last second and start sobbing because he believes he’s becoming a monster. AND THAT’S NOT EVEN ALL OF IT, JUST THE THINGS THAT I LIKED THE MOST TO WATCH

spoilers over

the side characters: While I do think they could use a little bit more development, but that’s probably because they’re not quite rubbing me just the right way like Mika is, so they pale by comparison BUT there are some things I enjoy 1) we’ve got a literal troll on the team. I’ve seen some people call her annoying, but omg I love seeing her troll the others. also she uses a scythe and it’s awesome 2) OMG THERE’S A SWEET BABI BOY ARCHER??? slight spoilers, but my favorite part was when he reveals that his demon decided to give him more powers because he treats his demon like a friend, and talks to it at night before going to bed, sometimes asking it what it’s favorite color is?? 3) okay okay okay, listen, I already like the character by himself, the sniper dude, he’s already great as he’s written. But then add the fact that not only does he look EXACTLY like Victor Nikiverov from Yuri on Ice, BUT HE HAS THE SAME FREAKING VOICE ACTOR TOO that just cracks me up 4) I love the one vampire side character who keeps trying to befriend Mika, and Mika just keeps stonewalling him 5) honestly the queen is really badass, and as much as I hated her at first, I actually enjoy every second she’s on screen 6) There’s a vampire called Crowley and idk what it is with him but he just gives me “Big Fun” vibes even though he’s one of the most ruthless characters in the show

plot and arcs: it doesn’t drag itself on and on and on, it actually completes goals and important benchmarks fairly quickly so we don’t need to keep waiting on things to happen. But at the same time, is so drawn out that you still can’t help but feel like it’s taking forever to get to where you want it to go and it’s great because it means you get so much story to enjoy. Also, the fact that the protagonists always have one clear goal at a time, but us as the viewers see other things happening behind the scenes, without always understanding what they are, and we’re stuck seeing this collision path where everything is gonna intersect and you know it’s going to be terrible and there characters are going to suffer but you love that. 

anyways, Seraph of the end is super good, I loved it, the anime isn’t enough so I’m actually chasing after the Manga for once. Mika is officially one of my all-time favorite characters and he deserves to be happy. If you know what I’m talking about cheer with me, if you haven’t seen it yet, omgggggggggggggggggggg GO CHECK IT OUT IF ANY OF THE THINGS I SAID APPEAL TO YOU