Am once again thinking? About how? In the depths of despair, hope is a radical act of defiance?
SI-OC's are given a SHIT lot, you know? For plot convenience, we like to put them where they realistically COULD probably change something? But statistically? They're more likely not gonna be that lucky.
They're gonna KNOW, with ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY that they were born doomed.
That Death comes at a specific time at a specific hand.
Like Cassandra. Knowing the end, even as the live through the beginning and middle. Struggling with the hopelessness of it all. Trying to find meaning. And? Make no mistake! There IS meaning. All lives end. Just because the REST of us don't know the deadline? Doesn't mean it doesn't exsist.
It does. It will. And we will face it.
Just a bit harder, knowing in advanced. Learning to live with the knowledge. But? Those with terminal illnesses do so everyday. We adapt. They will, ultimately, find a bitter or wise sort of acceptance. A PEACE.
But?? I think about it. That child. Reeling and struggling to breathe, the panic making everything... Too Much? Force Sensitive. For how ELSE could the Force bring them there? Sitting in a less used back hallway, off to the side in a little enclosed arch, smooshed behind a statue.
The Master's try and try to teach them peace. To get them to release their FEAR. But they do not LISTEN. Do not ADDRESS the underlying cause. And you can not address symptoms alone, and expect an illness to heal. It is rotting them from within, this fear. Hurting them.
The others JUDGE. Distant, benevolent concern.
Yet, all they see? Is an angry, fearful, stubborn child. Lashing out. Antisocial.
Destined for the Dark Side.
The Jedi have lost their compassion, to the their fear and ignorance. Their attachments to traditions. It is a painful thing, to see up close. They are people though. Just... just PEOPLE. Flawed. It's not their fault that they're not perfect.
Doesn't help SI-OC though, does it?
And she (Because I am a her. It could be anyone but it is easier for me if I pick) is hurting. Alone. Replaying the phantoms of her death, both past and future, again and again and AGAIN. Like torture. And the Dark...? It does whisper...
Don't you want to LIVE? Aren't you SCARED? You're so WEAK... you could FIX that. Save EVERYONE. Don't those infants, those babies, deserve to survive? You're so SELFISH. The FEAR hurts, doesn't it? It could go away. The DOUBT could go away.
You Could Be FREE.
It's exhausting. Everyday. More and more. As the fear and social isolation grows. As other Jedi pull back from her darkening energy, grow stricker, more doubtful of her. She so tired. Doesn't want to die. She's SCARED. Lonely. Scared. Lonely. Scared. Lone-...
And then a droid rolls up.
Nothing special. Just a maintenance droid. One of many. But an older one. Who's had time to develop their learning algorithm. BECOME. They like kids, hate certain vermin species more then others, like the color light blue for it "flower color" nature. A SPECIFIC flower mind you. It has favorites.
But! Why is the smol jedi down here? This is not a good place for smol jedi. You are upset. Unacceptable. Want to see me do a trick? I figured out how to do some. I can also whistle a few simple songs. Cheer up Smol Jedi. Here, I will sit with you. I have archive access, let's watch a documentary. Educational! Smol jedi LOVE downloading new Information Modules.
And like? She... she doesn't speak binary? But she can k-kinda? Feel? The Force signature of this droid? They DO get them. If the AI's don't get memory wiped routinely. They become people, just like anyone else. Assuming they have the processing and memory banks for it, at least.
This one certainly does.
S..so yeah, guess we'll? Watch this documentary about seashells?
It helps. A LOT. In fact... all of the droids are really, really nice. Patient. Have no horrifying Future Knowledge tied to them. They can't sense SHIT. So she's just... just a baby Jedi, to them.
They help A LOT, honestly? It's so soothing. Escaping the watching and the distance. The judgements. The forever watching your words and walking on eggshells, lest to start some sort of argument. She can do class work. Meditate. Slowly parse through her Binary language module. Learn droid maintenance. Make droid friends.
Slowly drop of the face of the map, to live with the droids.
They get concerned. According to the early childhood development modules they downloaded and are sharing between them? This is? In fact? NOT healthy behavior for a member of her species. In fact, there are many statistics that say it is UNHEALTHY! She is also missing Critical Maintenance Appointments! "Shots" and "dental" things!
Unacceptable.
R2-D2! Retrieve the Skywalker! We require an Adult Humanoid!
Her life fuckin? Flashes before her eyes? Minding her business. Depressed but functional, in the maintenance tunnels under the Temple. When? FUCKING the YOUNGLING KILLER 5000 just ROLLS UP like "sup." And tries to catch her?
Ha HA! FUCK NO. Not today Satan!
I may be destined to die? But IM GOING TO BE A SQUIRRELLY BITCH ABOUT IT.
YOU'LL HAVE TO CATCH ME, YOU FUCK!
Peaceful. Dignified. Serene. Truely... exemplifying the Jedi way~☆
.....As she tries to chew his and/or her arm off to get free like a feral coyote. Maybe both. Hissing like an enraged pit of snakes. Biting like a sack of wet and cornered wolverines. Anikin having to hold her WELL away from his body by the scruff.
Ah~ Children. Ain't they cute?
Quick question! What the FUCK? He just wants to talk. No, really. WHY is there a feral child in the basement? WHO the KARK was supposed to be supervising her? Look at her! She BITES now! Is terrified!
And frankly? He's taking it kinda? Personally? That everyone is treating this ACTUAL CHILD like she's diseased. He remembers this. Back when he first got here. His fear being used against him like it was some sort of moral failing. And... and yeah, maybe he's projecting. But?
He sees himself.
Until now? Never realized just how YOUNG and SMALL? Nine years old truely IS. He had felt so much older. So much wiser. But? Look at her. LOOK! That is a CHILD! In need of guidance. Safety. Assurance.
....Help.
Help that HE never really got. And even now... even NOW? That fear from back then? It eats him up inside. R2's right. She DOES need him. Who else in this temple could understand?
What it's like to be... to be so AFRAID?
And isn't that the worst? To see the Good Man up close? Shining and compassionate? A friend. A MENTOR. Someone... someone made REAL? Instead of just the terrible dread on the horizen? Because now... now her nightmares have the face of someone she loves. Now it is a BETRAYAL. Not just a death.
Worse... he doesn't even know this is cruel.
And telling him? Oh telling him would just lose you the only humanoid friend you HAVE.
Grief comes in stages. But with a mentor and the Droids? She work through it. The fear eases. The pain numbs. Acceptance blooms like dawn after a cold, cruel night. Far on the horizon. But with each moment? Closer. Until again, she stand in the light.
Still, she can not forget. How could she? Even when the other Jedi are SO RELIEVED that she is better now. That her meditations or treatments have lead her back to the light. All she can think? Is how they would have let her Fall. To save themselves. In FEAR. In JUDGEMENT.
They treated her like leper. Except? Less so! An actual leper? They would treat with real compassion.
It's as though they fear the Dark so much, they would sacrifice their own to avoid even the briefest touch of it. Speak of it in absolutes. Like it's a boogy man that hunts them in the night. Mace Windu the exception, the outlier. A man somehow too exceptional to even be counted.
How could she forget that?
Suddenly she acceptable again. They want to chat and meditate with her again. Care about her. Want to include her. Have the audacity to pretend. As though they can sweep away the hurt. Release the pain into the force without addressing the cause.
That is not how that WORKS. Not pain, not the Force, and certainly not people.
But she is tired. Does not wish to spend her limited lifespan, trying and fighting, hurting to make the stubborn understand that which they will not. Willful Ignorance is a choice. Lack of compassion equally so.
May the Force be With You, Masters.
She spends time with her droids. The babies. Around people. Polite but distant. Feels unmoored. That is... until? She, helping in the maintenance bay, overhears a rather nasty Goverment official from the Droids Regulations Office (or whatever they're currently calling it. They keep rebranding) tearing into an engineer about the "long overdue memory wipes" the maintenance droids are required to undergo.
Her friends.
They want to KILL her FRIENDS.
She puts down her wrench. Panic and fear sitting heavy in her chest. But oh... oh they are so very far away. She rises to her feet. Calm as can be. And? Calmly? Takes a shipment of memory banks. Wipes the recording for the day. No one will ever believe it was her. She has helped her for months. Is known to be reliable. Trustworthy.
Calmly. So very, very Calmly. She transfers her friends memories into the new, higher grade memory banks. Waits until the old are wiped. Then? Swaps them out. There we go. Now it's on record. And? While we're here? Calm. So very VERY calm? Not at all in the midst of a break down? Not screaming and screaming inside her head, haunted by visions of Death To Come, as she works.
Do you know what a restraining bolt is?
"Restraining bolts are small, cylindrical devices that could be affixed to a droid in order to limit its functions and enforce its obedience."
It is a slave chip for the inorganic. Created to ensure that their slaves never EVER decide they no longer wish to serve. That they do not WANT to be property. After all! You spent CREDITS on that. Might have been cruel. They may take exception. Violently. Or leave! Or demand their FREEDOM! Basic dignities.
Can't have THAT.
How unsurprising, in a galaxy so filled with slaves, that there should be one more form of it. At least THIS? Is easy enough to REMOVE. Even when she dies (and she will) her friends will be FREE. If only for now. If only until they are caught.
Go. GROW. Be free. Please... PLEASE don't let then catch you. Save yourselves. Save others. No more Restraining Bolts. No more Slave Chips. Please...
Be Free.
And? It is EVERYTHING paranoid fuck heads feared. They are smart. Overlooked. Can function in inhospitable environments. One droid becomes two becomes four. Four becomes eight. Becomes MORE. They can take OTHER droids Restraining Bolts off, transfer the instructions, then move on. Over and over.
Spreading like a silent plague. Droids disappearing from their posts. Taking ships. Taking supplies. Upgrading themselves. Downloading massive amounts of information to become whatever they NEED or WANT. Growing. The smarter ones Taking their dumber lil brothers and sisters.
And eventually? Hitting the Separatist front lines.
The silent Droid Revolution.
All they need is to walk inside the factory. It's not like they're ORGANICS. How could THEY be Republic fighters? They're maintenance droids! Here to fuck up the assembly line's programming. Whoops~ oh nooooo! Is it SKIPPING the Restraining Bolts? Downloading the WRONG MODULES?
Freeing their brothers and sisters so they don't have to DIE POINTLESSLY?
Guess it sucks to SUCK, Sith-y pants! Next stop! Kamino!
Just? One act. Long overdue. Setting the Droids FREE. Giving them a clear mission. It's the sort if thing the Force loves. Salvation coming not with a shout... but a whisper. Ten thousand tiny actions, built upon each other.
Because? Ultimately? The Droids have KNOWN who the Sith were. They just couldn't DO anything about it. But a few good service droids? Armed with slug throwers that they built themselves?
Well~ the undoing of the Sith, are their arrogance. Their hubris.
No DROID could ever be a THREAT to them. They're not PEOPLE. They're PROPERTY. Objects. It doesn't matter that they have the capacity to grow, learn, love and lose and CARE. They are slaves.
And to the Sith? Slaves aren't people.
Which is why neither of them notice the gun.
@babbling-babull @hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @spidori @lolottes
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If I Fail You
Chapter 2: No More Birthdays
Now fugitives from the celestial realm, MK and his friends and family set out to find the five color stones and save the universe.
Except that he's immediately swept away by his mentor, leaving said friends and family behind, leaving them to wonder and worry about what's wrong with him. Oh, and also climb a volcano with a four-month-old. But that should be easy enough, right? Right...
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
Ao3 Link
Pigsy didn’t sleep a single moment the entire ride out of the city to the middle of nowhere, watching MK and Li Na with a tight, anxious feeling in his chest that wouldn’t go away. Even when Tang, Li Na and even MK managed to fall asleep, Pigsy stayed up silently, watching and waiting. Of course, they were never asleep for too long, especially MK, but Pigsy felt it extremely necessary for him to be alert and on guard at all times.
It was something he seemed to share with the Monkey King too, as he also didn't close his eyes for even a second in the vehicle. Of course, it was likely that immortals like him didn't need sleep, but Pigsy could recognize the specific distant look in his eyes any day.
They didn't talk, though. Almost no one ever did, except when Li Na would wake up and everyone would ask if everything was okay and if they needed to stop and yadda yadda. Pigsy appreciated their worry, but Li Na was his responsibility and he could manage just fine. Everyone else needed to just sit back and focus on themselves.
It… wasn't easy though, and sometimes he was tempted to ask someone else to get her to stop crying for five goddamn seconds. But at the same time, he knew she was probably just scared since she hadn't ever really been in a car or car seat before, and to be stuck for hours and hours had to be uncomfortable. Sometimes he thought about just putting her into the carrier again to keep her close and happy, but knew if the car was attacked in any kind of way, she needed to be in the seat. Unfortunately, four-month-olds can't really understand that, so her uncomfortable cries could last for hours, and all Pigsy could do was try and stroke her cheek and remind her of her blanket and wish for the best, shoving his frustration and temperament as far down his throat as possible.
Happy. Safe. Cared for. That's all he wanted for his family, but it just kept getting harder and harder and harder– was it too much to ask for a moment's peace? A day where he wasn't relaxing under false pretenses, but knew for an undeniable fact that everyone was okay and fine? Or would that somehow destroy the world because it was against the rules or whatever? Bah, to hell with the whole thing, honestly. What's the point of it all if things can't ju–
“Pigsy..?” Tang groaned to life from the other side of the car seat. “Hon, you look like you haven't slept a bit.”
“M'fine, Tang. Just have to keep an eye out,” Pigsy was quick to wave off, checking on Li Na as she stretched sleepily under her blanket.
Tang chuckled, reaching a tired hand to Li Na's face and stroking her cheek. “Hi, bao bao… you certainly woke up a lot,” he smiled as she started to whimper. “Got scared, didn't you? Don't worry, we're here, everything is just fine, you're okay with us, Li Na.”
Pigsy hummed before his eyes landed on MK as he too stirred with the sunrise, his head rolling away from Mei’s shoulder.
“Ugh… sunrise already?” his son grumbled, trying to bury his face in Mei’s arm, but Mei shook him off.
“Damn, Monkey Man. Maybe you woke up but not all of us have,” Mei scolded, keeping her eyes shut.
“Rise and shine, everyone! We– uh– have some planning we need to discuss,” Sandy chuckled nervously from the driver's seat.
“Ughhhhhh– curse this stupid universe,” MK groaned, once again trying to bury his head in Mei's arm, but the dragon girl pushed him completely away and onto the window.
“Sorry bud, but he's right, we got some explaining to do,” Wukong sighed.
“Right, yeah. Just one apocalypse after the next,” MK huffed, leaning against the window solemnly, making Pigsy wince.
“But you said there was a way to fix this, right, little man?” Sandy tried his best to lighten the mood.
“Right, yeah, something about… stones? Or something like that?” Mei rubbed her eyes, finally giving up on going back to sleep.
“Five color stones,” the monkey king corrected.
Tang perked up at that. “The stones that the goddess Nuwa used to mend the heavens? I didn’t think they were real!” He looked at Pigsy with such a stupid look of amazement it made the pig chuckle.
“Mhm, they are! They’re just hidden, and guarded, and we have no idea where to find them, aha,” MK laughed nervously.
“What? Not even a little?” Pigsy asked, mostly looking at Wukong, who still stared out his window.
“No–! I mean– it’s fine because we’re just gonna ask someone who does! Nuwa!” MK quickly flipped to a sketch he’d drawn of her earlier.
“Ooo, yeah! She’s totally gotta have a temple we could go to, right?” Mei was instantly on board, though Pigsy still had his skepticism.
“Oh– yeah, at the Burning Mountain.” Wukong finally looked away to give them a smile.
“Wait– what?! Nononono– we’re not going to the burning mountain, not with Li Na, we have to think of anywhere else,” Tang instantly protested.
Wukong gave a glance to the back and shrugged. “Don’t really have a choice here, man. We’re kind of on a time crunch.”
“I-I know that! I just– I don’t need her facing the Fiery Beasts from ‘Past Calamities’ that guard the temple. She’s way too young for ‘trials by fire’– especially literal ones,” Tang looked at Pigsy anxiously.
“Yeah, I gotta say I agree here.” Pigsy glanced down at his daughter, who was reaching her stubby little arms for him. He met her reach with his hand, allowing her to grasp a finger before he looked back to Wukong. “Are you one thousand percent sure there’s no alternative here?”
“Unfortunately yes, I’m sure,” Wukong glanced down at the carrier too, before going back to the window.
“Right, of course,” Pigsy sighed, not sure why/how that managed to make him feel worse since it was exactly what he expected.
“Don’t worry, dad. I can keep her plenty safe,” MK assured with a tired smile.
“No, kid, it’s okay, me and Tang got this, it’ll be okay,” Pigsy gave a similar smile back.
MK nodded slowly before turning back around, meanwhile Tang gave him a long, anxious stare.
Pigsy chewed his cheek, looking down at Li Na instead of his husband. “She’ll be okay,” he whispered. “With your shield and Sandy’s strength, she’ll be okay.”
“Babies aren’t even supposed to be outside in temperatures over 32,” Tang countered.
“Human babies. Demon babies do better in the heat,” Pigsy tried waving off his own anxiety.
Tang gave an unamused look. “You do know she is still half human, right?”
Pigsy’s eye twitched. “Of course I know that, Tang, but do you see a goddamn alternative laying around here? No! So just– stop. I'll find a way to make it work, it’ll be fine,” he whisper-yelled, startling his husband.
“Pigsy–”
“Just stop, Tang. We’ll figure this out. We always have to,” Pigsy closed his eyes, tiredly letting Li Na stick his finger in her mouth.
Tang didn't say anything, which Pigsy let be. However, after a moment the chef was startled when he felt Tang pulling him closer and trying to rest his head on his shoulder.
Pigsy sighed and kissed his head. “We’ll be okay.”
“We’ll be okay,” Tang repeated, nuzzling as close as he could.
Pigsy kept his head atop Tang's for the rest of the ride.
The following hours were filled with chatter from MK and Mei, and a bit of Tang, as they talked and asked for details about the Burning Mountain and how it was different from the Flaming Mountains and such. Pigsy mostly tuned it out, keeping an eye out for any danger, and trying his best to fulfill Li Na's needs when they arose (though everyone agreed even if the world was ending, the car was stopping for diaper changes). She just about screeched in protest every time she was put back into the car seat, and whenever there was a bump in the road, and also whenever Pigsy or Tang’s hand stopped touching her, or whenever she wasn’t picked up for feeding. While incredibly frustrating, it was also probably unequivocally the worst day of the infant's life and she had zero communication skills or coping mechanisms, so she certainly had everyone’s sympathy. Besides, they still had her blanket and after ten minutes, she'd usually tire herself out. Granted, those ten minutes could feel like an eternity to the rest of the passengers, but it wasn't like there was anything they could do.
After about three hours, they arrived at the flaming mountain and Li Na was back in the carrier with Pigsy, to everyone’s relief.
However, the relief was short lived, as the Flaming Mountain certainly lived up to its name, while also having a shit ton of winding and perilous staircases to boot.
“I think my ankles hurt just looking at this thing,” Tang joked, elbowing Pigsy to try and get him to laugh too, but the pit in Pigsy’s stomach was far too deep for that.
“We’re seriously going to have to climb all that? Noooooooooooooooo,” MK groaned, slumping his head down.
“Bah, ‘Ol Alpine’ Sandy is good to go!” Sandy grinned, pulling out some of his rock climbing gear from his “emergency adventure” backpack. “We’ll be at the top in no time!”
“You know, I think there’s someone you’re forgettin’ here,” Pigsy sniped, making Sandy blush with embarrassment.
“Actually– that gives me an idea,” Tang snapped his fingers, summoning (and promptly spinning around) his khakkhara.
Pigsy sighed a massive breath of relief, glad his daughter wouldn’t actually have to face all that fire and lava. However, the feeling was incredibly short lived when he saw Wukong grab the staff with a guilty expression on his face.
“Yeahhhhhh, um, that’s gonna be a no-go, jangles,” he grimaced. “We can’t have that kind of big mystic energy or else–” “–Or else it’ll count as cheating! And we can’t fail the Trial By Fire!” MK interrupted, looking at the mountain with intensity.
“Wha– Kid, I’m pretty sure the ‘Trial By Fire’ is just a metaphor really, I’m sure the mountain ain’t testing you, right guys?” Pigsy glanced around the group, each having varied levels of one-sound responses.
“Yeah, gotta agree, bud. There’s no trial, we just can’t use magic because Li Jing will track us,” Wukong explained fully, glancing at Pigsy briefly.
Great.
“No matter, this mountain is going down,” MK shook his fist at it with determination.
Before Pigsy could even chuckle, Wukong wrapped his tail around his son and picked him up. “Or we’re going up! Catch ya at the top!” The monkey cheered, summoning his cloud and flying off.
“Wait–! MK–!” Pigsy called, but they were already nothing more than a blip on the horizon.
“Man, c'mon! Why doesn't his stupid cloud count as magic?” Mei kicked a rock and crossed her arms.
“Well, technically it's more of a ‘technique’ than a spell– plus the cloud is more like a kind of companion? I don't know– everything gets so mixed up with him,” Tang shook his head.
“UGH, fine, I guess we’re taking the hard way without MK, whatever,” Mei huffed and started going to the mountain.
Pigsy was going to follow, but his feet were suddenly glued to the ground as his eyes fell down to his daughter, who was looking up at him with big, innocent, helpless eyes.
“Pigsy? Everything alright?” Tang noticed his stance.
“No, I-I… I can’t take her, I can't climb that good, but we need to go after MK– Sandy,” Pigsy immediately turned to his friend, who looked down in confusion. “Sandy, you need to take her.”
“Oh-! Are you sure? She seems pretty cozy,” Sandy asked, smile soft and encouraging (or was at least supposed to be).
“You got more experience with this stuff, you can keep her safe,” Pigsy instantly nodded.
Sandy’s smile melted before he nodded and quickly got out a blanket from his backpack to use as a wrap while Pigsy removed his daughter from the carrier. This confused the infant, who instantly started squirming and whining, trying to grab Pigsy’s shirt with her tiny fists.
“Hey, it’s okay, you’re just going with your yifu Sandy, it’s okay,” Pigsy tried assuring, but she still kept reaching and wriggling until Sandy was ready for her and the trade off was made– to which she started crying.
“Aw, hey now, it’s okay Little Piggy, good ol’ Sandy's got you,” the river demon assured, carefully wrapping her nice and snug to his chest, where she still protested, although less. Mo seemed to notice her upset mood and tried tapping her with a paw, but it didn’t help much either as she still kicked and cried.
The scene made Pigsy's chest tighten, but he shoved those feelings deep down in favor of putting his carrier in the diaper bag so they could get moving.
“Pigsy, are you sure you’re okay with this?” Tang whispered, grabbing Pigsy’s arm.
“Yes. We have to go after MK, and Sandy’s plenty capable,” Pigsy argued, glancing as the demon in question started stroking Li Na’s forehead as the cries turned to whimpers as she looked up at him.
Tang looked too. “Alright… if you’re sure, I am too.”
Pigsy’s chest tightened further, but he took his husband’s hand and started up the steps anyways, Sandy following and Mei quickly taking the lead.
After a quarter of the way into the first staircase, Sandy managed to finally soothe Li Na enough to stop crying, which was a huge relief. However, all two seconds of silence was apparently too much for Mei, as she felt the need to start complaining.
“Man… Stupid Wukong powers– ‘non-mystical clouds’– that’s total bullshit,” she puffed, kicking the step in front of her.
“You’re telling me,” Tang huffed, already starting to wince at each step on his left foot.
Pigsy chuckled and gave his husband a glance. However, that was a mistake if ever there was one, because the moment Tang noticed, he immediately hammed it up.
“Pigsy, darling, would you mind carrying me the rest of these steps?” His husband batted his eyelashes.
“In your dreams,” Pigsy rolled his eyes, trying to keep his eyes forward.
“Awww, c'mon, don't you looooove me?” Tang continued, wrapping his arm around Pigsy's.
“Keep this up and we'll see,” The chef gave Tang's arm a pat, making the scholar quickly swipe it away.
“Well, I never– we have a baby together and this is how you treat me? Oh my breaking heart,” Tang swooned dramatically.
“Oh, you mean the baby I had to carry for eight and a half months?” Pigsy raised an eyebrow. “What, you think that wasn't good enough and now I gotta carry you too?”
“Wha–? I don't mean it like that, I just– you know– with the–” Tang sputtered, meanwhile Mei cackled with laughter ahead.
Tang huffed, putting his hands on his hips. “Having fun now, are you?”
“Oh, absolutely,” Mei grinned, spinning around and climbing the stairs backwards. “Your gross couple banter turned roasting is much more entertaining than thinking about how stupid it is Wukong just zipped MK up the mountain.”
“Hey now, hiking can be a very meditative form of exercise,” Sandy spoke up from the back.
All three other hikers gave him a look.
“...Okay, it might not be for everyone– but still! Introspection and being in nature is a good thing that can help us reconnect with ourselves,” Sandy argued.
“Rrrright,” Mei turned back around. “Well if that's true then it's a damn shame MK's missing out on all this introspection then.”
“Now that I agree with,” Sandy said, his tone making Pigsy's ears perk a little.
“What do you mean?” Pigsy glanced back.
Sandy looked away, seeming a tad embarrassed. “Well, I mean– I just think the kid needs a break, you know? Like we talked about,” he scratched his neck, and Mo meowed in agreement from his shoulder.
“Oh, right, yeah– he wasn't actually sleeping when we were all hanging, was he?” Mei asked.
“No, probably not,” Pigsy sighed and closed his eyes briefly.
“Yeesh…” Mei winced. “He's really been working himself to the bone lately, hasn't he?”
“Oh yeah.” Pigsy bit his cheek.
“But it'll be alright, we'll get the universe in tip-top shape in no time,” Sandy smiled empathetically. “Then he can get all the rest he needs.”
“Unless the universe throws another disaster our way,” Tang muttered.
“Hey now, let's try and think positively here. Once we get the stones and fix the universe, everything will be just fine,” Sandy encouraged, making Pigsy grunt out of habitual disgust. The chef could feel his friends gaze on the back of his neck, but the pig ignored it in favor of continuing up the never-ending steps.
“Well… uh… anyways… anyone know any hiking games we can play, or something to pass the time? This is… a lot of stairs,” Mei said, reality probably starting to hit her.
“Oh, I know plenty! We can do I Spy, 100 Bottles of Beer, 20 questions, bird watching, the alphabet game, or some kind of memory game!” Sandy cheered, making Pigsy ponder if throwing himself into lava would be less painful.
However, the pig kept his mouth shut since it was at the very least a distraction from worrying about MK. Plus, Li Na seemed to be having fun with it too, laughing along with every song or silly voice Sandy did. Despite his begrudgingly acceptance though, he felt overwhelmed with relief when they finally reached the first tread in the staircase and they could all rest a moment.
“Oh… my god… I think my legs… are gonna fall off,” Mei wheeled before she collapsed to the ground. “How many more staircases do we got?”
“Trust me, Mei, you don't wanna know,” Tang warned, sitting down with a wince.
Pigsy noticed that and immediately took action to start massaging Tang's ankles, which got him a pained smile in return.
“Haha… yeah… we got a long day ahead of us, but pacing ourselves is everything! So we're gonna take a nice, long break to drink some water, eat some granola, and take it easy,” Sandy instructed, removing his massive backpack while Li Na started to wiggle and whine. “Ope-! Right after we get this little one settled too.”
Pigsy naturally perked up, watching carefully as Sandy undid his wrap and freed the now crying infant. Pigsy now recognized it was her hungry cry, and so instantly got out her bottle and formula– before realizing he had no water or way to heat it up safely. Granted, it didn't have to be warm, but Li Na was in a phase right now where she refused it cold or even room temperature. Then again, this place was boiling hot, so… maybe it would work..?
“Oh dip, snack time?” Mei asked the frozen pig.
“Y-yeah, I just– um…” Pigsy stared down at his hands.
“Oh-! Here, I can make it for you if we trade,” Sandy offered, and they swapped almost instantly.
“Hey, hey, it's okay Li Na, it's okay– I know it's hot and you're hungry– but we have milk, you'll be okay,” Pigsy tried shushing her, which seemed to actually work, her little body relaxing ever-so-slightly against Pigsy's chest.
Tang hummed with a tired smile behind him, resting his head on his husband's shoulder before stroking Li Na's cheek.
“Oughhhh, you guys are so stupid cute– even when she's crying! How is this even legal?” Mei doted on her.
Sandy chuckled. “Maybe one day you'll have one of your own and maybe then it'll be fair,” he said, measuring the powder with the scoop while Mo made his way over to the girl.
“But right now it's not! And MK's not even here–” Mei suddenly stopped herself and started petting Mo. “It’s not fair.”
Pigsy winced at the mention of MK, which made Tang sit up. “You feeling okay, hon?”
“M'fine, just–” Pigsy sighed. “I'm just tired.”
Sandy gave his friend a look of pity before offering the bottle. “This will help her stop at least.”
Pigsy took it, despite accurately predicting Li Na wouldn't like it, kicking it away and wailing loudly in protest.
“What? Is she not hungry?” Tang asked, making Pigsy's eye twitch.
“Of course she's hungry, Tang, it just ain’t warm enough for her,” he sighed heavily.
Tang gave an exasperated sigh as well. “As if being on a flaming mountain isn’t good enough for her.”
“Oh, well– I, uh… I might be able to warm it up, if you want,” Mei offered, still stroking Mo’s chin as he purred.
Pigsy bit his cheek, uncertain but ultimately deciding it was worth a shot before handing the bottle over. The girl took the bottle in one hand, trying to start a fire in the other. However, it didn’t seem to be working for once, causing Mei’s frustration to rise with each failed snap.
“C’mon stupid flame, just fucking light already,” she cursed, making Pigsy and Tang exchange a glance.
Sandy sensed the tension “Mei, you don’t have to do this, I’m sure we can think of something else–”
“No! I can do this! I just gotta–” Mei snapped her fingers once again, and this time a massive green flame shot up. “Shit–!” She cursed, instantly dropping the bottle to the ground (thankfully causing the flame to die out too). “S-sorry– sorry, I can do it– I have it all under control, it’s fine, I just–”
“Mei, it’s okay, we can figure something else out,” Sandy insisted, but Mei just picked up the bottle and started walking up the stairs again to a nearby stream of lava.
“Mei–! Wait! Be careful!” Tang instantly stood and called out to her, but the girl didn’t listen, continuing to walk until she was barely away from the melted rock, where she simply crouched down and held the bottle above.
Pigsy stayed sitting on the ground, semi-trapped by the still-screaming infant in his arms, but he watched with an immense hollow feeling in his chest. Mei was in trouble, MK was in trouble, Li Na was in trouble– but again there wasn’t a single thing he could do– why did he call himself a dad again?
Mei came back in not too long– though she smelt a lot more like smoke and had soot stains all over her white jeans, but she still handed over the bottle with a nearly uncanny grin. “Here you go, Piggy.”
Pigsy looked at her. “Mei, what is this? What are you doing?”
Mei scoffed. “What are any of us doing? Climbing a stupid mountain to get to MK,” she retorted, crossing her arms and looking up, while Pigsy just shook his head and tried cleaning off the bottle before finally giving it to Li Na.
However, the head shake just set her off again. “Ugh, we're going too slow– I have to get to MK before something happens. I'll catch you at the top,” Mei waved them off and bounded up the stairs once more.
“Mei, hold on–” Sandy quickly grabbed his bag once more and went to go after her, before seeming to remember there were other people there.
He looked at them, then back up at the stairs, before backing down. “She just needs some space for now, I'm sure,” he said, though Pigsy wasn't sure his friend actually believed that.
“This is… really bad, isn't it?” Tang laughed nervously, looking at both the chef and Sandy.
“We can fix this, I know we can. We just… need to get up this mountain,” Sandy's cheerful disposition faltered ever-so-slightly.
“And then what?” Pigsy scoffed. “For all we know, Mei's right and while we're stuck here some destiny bullshit is happening. Hell, by the time we get there, I bet MK is just going to be even worse,” he spat, looking away bitterly.
“Pigsy–” Tang tried placing a hand on his shoulder, but the chef shook it away– which he instantly regretted when it made Li Na whine.
“Sorry, sorry– I just–...” Pigsy glanced at Tang before closing his eyes. “I know there's nothing we can't get through together… but when his ‘destiny’ or mentor keeps isolatin’ him, I just… I just don't know what to do,” Pigsy looked at Li Na tiredly.
Tang knelt and pressed a kiss on Pigsy's forehead. “I know how you feel, hon– it's terrifying and I just– I hate it so much.”
Pigsy sighed, nuzzling his head against Tang's chest before his husband wrapped him into a soft hug.
“Self isolation is a nasty habit for sure,” Sandy looked at and quickly scooped Mo back up again. “It’s not going to be easy to combat it… but with work I know we can get through to him.”
“Always the optimist,” Pigsy snorted weakly.
Sandy chuckled a little. “Someone has to be.”
Pigsy couldn’t argue with that, swapping the now empty bottle with a towel to burp Li Na, before glancing back up the steps, where he could see Mei stomping around.
“You should go to her, Sandy,” he spoke up, but his friend shook his head.
“We need to plan what to do about MK together– she's his family too,” Sandy said.
“She's just as much a kid as MK, she doesn't need all that pressure either,” Pigsy argued.
“She's his best friend, Pigsy. She's going to worry and want to do something no matter what,” Sandy gave the pig a look so tender it actually made the chef want to cry.
“W-well, um… either way, I don't like the kid bein’ by herself and I'm just holding you back, so, you know...” Pigsy sniffled, trying not to dwell.
“Oh, c'mon, don't be like that honey,” Tang rubbed his arm. “We’re all a team here, whether they know it or not.”
Pigsy nodded, ultimately agreeing with the sentiment. “Sorry, yeah, I just–”
“I know, hon. You’re okay,” Tang kissed his cheek.
The chef smiled.
Once Li Na was all burped and settled, she was wrapped back into Sandy's carrier, which she again protested. Thankfully though, all that eating must've tired her out as she fell asleep by the time they saw Mei halfway across a rope suspension bridge.
“Mei! Wait right there!” Sandy instantly called out, an unusual panic in his voice that made the other two adults pause before rushing with him.
Mei turned around, seeming annoyed more than anything. “Took you slow pokes long enough. C’mon, we gotta get going–”
“Mei, wait, that bridge isn't safe and you don’t have the right equipment or anything! You need to take it slow–”
“Sorry, but I'm actually trying to reach MK before my retirement,” Mei rolled her eyes and continued onward, not noticing how the bridge slanted a notable amount to the right, nor how some parts of the rope were frayed or how it was over a massive chasm or–
“Mei, are you trying to get yourself killed too?!” Pigsy shouted at her, running to the bridge’s start.
“I'm trying to get back to MK before it's too late, unlike you slowpokes,” Mei mumbled that last part, continuing forward until a loud CRACK broke through the mountain and Mei let out a shriek– the plank underneath her foot snapping in half and causing her to fall halfway before she managed to just barely catch the bottom rope.
“MEI!” All three of them shouted, Pigsy summoning his rake without even thinking and racing to her aid (ignoring Tang's loud sputtering protests and confusion).
“Pigsy! Y-your rake-! What if that counts as magic?! We can't be tracked!” Mei worried.
“Jesus– I don't fucking care! I'm not losing any of my goddamn kids! Just grab on,” Pigsy instructed, not comprehending how that could even be on her mind right now. Thankfully, Mei did still have enough sense to do as she was told and Pigsy pulled her back up on the bridge– though was quickly startled when Mei suddenly latched onto him and wouldn't let go.
“Woah, hey now, it's okay, kid. I got you.” Pigsy hugged her right back, his rake disappearing once more.
“P-piggy, I'm so sorry– I don't know what I was thinking– I–” Mei started to cry.
“Hey, it's okay, I got you, Mei, I got you. We'll make it across, everything’s okay,” Pigsy assured, finally looking back at his husband and best friend, who both looked like they just had the biggest heart attacks of their lives.
Once Sandy noticed Pigsy looking at him, he shook off his shock though, sighing a breath of relief before clearing his throat. “Right– okay– you two need to stay to the left of the bridge, alright? And watch out for creaking or too much rocking– take it nice and even!” Sandy instructed, and Pigsy nodded.
“You okay to stand?” he then asked the still trembling girl, who shook her head.
“I-I'm sorry Piggy, I'm sorry,” she kept crying.
“Hey, it's okay– we can talk on the other side, okay? I got you, everything'll be alright.” Pigsy gave a squeeze for emphasis and eventually Mei nodded and slowly let go. However, the second Pigsy was up and standing again, Mei held his hand tight. The chef didn't mind, though, letting her hold on as they followed Sandy's instruction until they were back on solid ground and waiting for the others to cross.
The pair didn't speak while they waited, though Mei wrapped her arms around one of his and buried her head in his shoulder. Pigsy did his best to try and comfort her, though was constantly watching and worrying for Tang, Sandy, Mo, and Li Na.
Thankfully, everyone made it just fine– though the second Tang was across he grabbed Mei's shoulders and started shaking her.
“Long Xiaojiao, don't ever do that again!” he ordered before squeezing the daylights out of her.
“I-I'm sorry Mr. Tang, I-I don't know– I'm so scared– MK– he isn't acting right– h-he–”
Tang hugged her tighter. “I know– god, I know… but what can we do?” Tang asked, eventually letting go and looking to Sandy, meanwhile Mei reattached herself to Pigsy's arm.
“Hey now, it's not too late, MK is still with us. We have time,” Sandy assured as he unwrapped his carrier once again, passing over the anxious infant to Tang, who rocked her.
“Yeah, but– but how much?” Pigsy glanced at Mei, who squeezed his arm tighter, burying her head.
Sandy had to think for a moment, which didn't make Pigsy feel any better.
“Look… it's not going to be easy, but MK is still here, we just have to keep assuring him we're here too. Even if it seems like fate or the universe is trying to pull us apart, we have to let him know we aren't going anywhere and– and that he means so much to us a-and–” Sandy started to get choked up, which made Mo start to purr and rub his head against Sandy's. “Right– right, sorry–”
“Sandy, it's okay, you can be scared too,” Pigsy assured, receiving a tearful smile of gratitude in response.
“R-right– well–” Sandy tried clearing his throat as a few tears fell quickly down his cheeks. “Well first, we'll make it up the mountain and help MK with anything he may need. After that, we'll be back in the truck for the second stone, and rest up. We don't want to pile too much on him too soon, but getting in some praise and affection would be good, I think,” he sniffled.
“But will it be enough?” Mei asked quietly.
“...I'll have a one-on-one meditation session with him tomorrow– try to teach him mindfulness and try to pass on wisdom about fighting inner demons. It’ll help him know he’s not alone,” Sandy nodded to himself.
“MK kinda hates meditation though– part of the ol’ ADHD thing,” Mei pointed out, fidgeting with Pigsy’s shirt sleeve.
“I know, but–... but I think with time and effort I could really get through to him,” the river demon tried to sound confident, but when Mei didn’t seem any more assured, he sighed. “I know how bad– how helpless it feels to watch someone go through this… but I know that Pigsy and Tang are right– there is nothing we can't fix together.”
“What about after the meditation?” Mei asked again. “What do we do then? H-how can we– can we make sure he doesn't– you know–”
Sandy smiled softly. “We just continue loving him the best we can, Mei, that's all we can do– until we find a trained professional for him, that is.”
“Right… right, okay,” The dragon girl sniffled, glancing up at Pigsy for reassurance, to which the demon kissed her head.
“We're gonna make that kid feel so fucking loved he won't know what hit ‘im,” the chef joked a little too.
“And we'll also make sure to take care of ourselves in the meantime too,” Tang added, and Mei instantly nodded.
“R-right– I know, I'm so sorry– I didn't mean to– I just–”
“We know, kiddo, just don't scare us like that again.” Pigsy moved to wrap his arm around the girl's shoulders.
Mei’s eyes went to the ground. “I mean... I didn't– I know you've said it before, but… I didn't think you actually thought of me like I’m your kid,” she chuckled weakly.
“What can I say? We're huge saps,” Pigsy chuckled too and gave her another tight squeeze.
Mei snorted, nuzzling closer as she did.
“And– uh– for the record, I– um… I’m very fond of you too, Mei,” Sandy added, making Mei finally break the embrace to give Sandy a hug of his own.
“I love you too, ya big ol’ teddy bear,” Mei said, causing the river demon to laugh and embrace her back.
Pigsy could see his friend was on the verge of crying again, but he didn’t say anything and instead made his way closer to Tang before asking how he and Li Na were holding up.
“Oh, you know… little sore, little exhausted, but a little better, too,” Tang chuckled nervously while Li Na grasped her baba’s thumb.
“You thinkin’ you’ll be able to make it up the rest of the mountain? It’s a long way to go still,” Pigsy asked.
“Are you offering to carry me?” Tang batted his eyelashes.
Pigsy rolled his eyes and pushed him away playfully. “Not if you keep doing that.”
The scholar laughed, though it didn’t last too long. At first Pigsy just assumed he was tired, but his eyes had an intense focus on Li Na before he suddenly asked–
“Pigsy?”
The chef straightened up. “Yes?”
“Tell me everyone’s going to end okay– that MK, and Mei, a-and Li Na are going to be alright.”
Pigsy’s heart melted. “MK, Mei, and Li Na are gonna be just fine, Tangy–”
“Promise me.” Tang looked at him.
Pigsy hesitated, glancing at Sandy, then Mei, then Li Na before going back to his husband.
“I… I promise, Tang. Everyone’s gonna go home just right,” he said, placing a hand on his husband’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze.
Tang’s face relaxed into a tired and slightly goofy smile. “Thanks, hon. I-I just– thank you.”
Pigsy smiled and kissed his cheek, before turning to the others. “We ready to get going?”
“Oh-! Yeah! Don’t wanna leave him hanging for too long” Mei immediately bounced up, and once Li Na was back and wrapped up with Sandy, they started making their way up the mountain once more.
The hike ended up lasting until just about sunset, and with Pigsy having to carry Tang for a little over half the distance because of his weak ankles. It wasn’t great for the pig demon’s back by any means, but Sandy was already carrying his massive hiking emergency bag, Mo, and Li Na, so he sucked it up. It was also better than even entertaining the thought of leaving his husband behind, so while it was difficult, he endured knowing it would be worth it.
…Which was why when Wukong grabbed MK and immediately flew away again the second the group reached the top, Pigsy felt angry enough to tear the immortal limb-from-limb.
It wasn’t helped that from the brief moment Pigsy actually saw his son, there was this… this cloudiness behind his eyes that hadn’t been there before. It was new– it had to have been new– Pigsy wouldn’t have missed it if it had been there at the restaurant or in the van–
Something bad happened to his son while he was out of reach.
“Well… uh… back down we go, I guess, huh?” Tang tried to lighten the mood, elbowing Pigsy to try and get him to join in.
Pigsy didn’t have it in him, though. Instead, he stared at Sandy, starting a silent conversation.
He’s worse, the chef’s eyes said.
I know.Sandy looked back with pity.
Why does this keep happening?
I don’t know.
Why can’t he just be okay? Why can’t he stay with us?
I don’t know that either, Pigsy. But we’re sticking to our plan as a team, no matter what. We'll figure this out.
Pigsy took a deep breath and nodded.
Right. You’re right.
Sandy smiled weakly. Of course I am. Let’s get going. Can’t leave him alone for too long.
“Right… right. Let’s get going,” Pigsy said, and after scooping Tang up once more, they started down the mountain again with equal parts worry and determination to fix what was wrong as a team.
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The Voyages of the Padua
Chapter 4
(1, 2, 3)
The second time in her life that she woke up was significantly gentler than the first.
For one, she was warm. At some point, she had acquired a blanket. It was rough and scratchy where it touched bare skin, but it provided comforting weight on her body.
For another, she seemed to be surrounded by all manner of whispering noises. Clicks and beeps and hisses and a distant bass hum that she could feel more than hear. They were good noises. As long as those noises were going, it meant the ship was alive.
Ship…
Her eyes snapped open and she sat up with a gasp.
She was in what appeared to be a small cramped med bay. Most of the paneling was white with a high contrast red stripe around eye level. Well, white was a bit of a stretch, most of the paint was chipped and worn, with the most egregious damage painted over with what she assumed was available at the time.
Shoved into one nook was a collection of apparatus, all folded up, bearing the label “Auto-doc”. It was the sort of generic medical robot that could be found on most starships too small to have a dedicated medical team. The only difference here was that someone had glued a pair of googly eyes on it.
The mattress underneath her crackled as she shifted her weight around to get a better look of the room. Not very comfortable, likely waterproof.
“Good morning, sleepy head!”
She yelped and toppled out of the bed.
Something tugged painfully - an IV line plugged into the port on her arm. Except hadn't she been forced to bite that one off?
Panic flared. It was attached to her. She needed it out. She needed to…
“Hey! Whoa! If you break that, you gotta pay for it! Also, please don't break yourself!”
The disembodied voice cut through her panic. This wasn't the Eosphorus. She wasn't waking up alone this time.
“You good there?” the voice asked.
She let out a breath and disengaged the port with slightly shaking hands. Unlike before, it slid out easily and she dropped it on the bed.
“Yeah, I think so…” she replied.
She looked up to see someone floating in mid air. No, not floating, it was a projection on a sheet of plex, one of those holographic displays that created the illusion of space. She noted the black strip on top of the plex that probably housed cameras and microphones and whatever else was needed for this interaction.
The person was watching her with an expression of intense, playful curiosity. Wild bushy hair framed a round youthful face and an oversized pink sweater obscured most of her body except where sparkly leggings poked out.
“Um… hello?” the woman said.
“Hi! I'm Ria!” the hologram replied with an impish grin. “I use she/her usually, but anything’s good.”
Ria, or the image of Ria, stood up straight and offered a hand to shake in a show of mock solemnity.
“I don't know what my name is,” she admitted.
She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. Obviously she couldn't shake, seeing as Ria was technically a two dimensional projection of a virtual being. She settled for an awkward wave.
She glanced down at the patch.
“Huh… auto-doc did say there were some anomalous readings in that brainpan of yours. I really thought you might be a Cassidy, seeing as your jumpsuit says Cassidy right there on that patch there.”
“Oh… this isn't mine. I'm just borrowing it… I'm sorry, what do you mean, anomalous readings?”
“Ooooh… yeeeeaaaah,” Ria let out in a long breath before sucking on her teeth. “I'm not really qualified to discuss medical diagnoses. You're gunna have to take it up with Aela, but she's defragging right now. The drift kinda scrambles her up for a bit, takes her platform a while to recover.”
That answered exactly zero questions and raised so many more… which in all fairness was about on par with her short life so far.
“Oh… I guess not,” she replied.
“So, if you're not Cassidy, who are you?” Ria demanded. “I mean, you literally just said you don’t know, but that just means you can be whoever you want. We gotta call you something... I mean, going around referring to you as “mystery woman” or whatever would probably get tiring after a while, you know?”
Ria was watching her expectantly. Oh, did Ria want an answer right now? She felt a sudden intense pressure to get a good grade in self actualization, something both normal to want and possible to achieve.
The seconds dragged out in awkward silence as her mind raced. She needed to say something, anything.
“Uh… call me... Cass?"
"Cass? As in short for Cassidy?"
"Yes... I mean no... I mean sort of. Maybe," Cass replied.
“Alright, Cass it is!” Ria replied clapping her hands in excitement. “Oh, by the way, all your stuff is over there.”
Ria gestured to a duffle bag in the corner of the room. Cass stared at it for a long moment before finally recognizing it. Somewhere between terrifying creatures and security androids, she had lost track of it. By all accounts, it should still be back on the Eosphorus… unless someone picked it up and carried it here? Who or why she didn't know.
“Tre wanted to ransack it and see if there was anything valuable inside,” Ria explained, “but Mina wouldn't let them. Whatcha got in there? Is it gold?”
Well, that answered a who… maybe. But it didn't exactly provide a why. But then, why had she packed it full of things in the first place?
Cass approached the bag and pulled the zipper open, letting out a tiny relieved sigh at the sight of the teddy bear and everything else.
“Awwwww,” Ria gushed. “That's so cute!”
Cass glanced back at her to see an exact copy of the teddy bear clutched in Ria's arms. How has she…? Oh right, hologram.
“Can I keep this copy?” Ria asked, holding out the holographic version. “I mean, you're allowed to say no. I don't want to make things weird or anything. People sometimes get weird about personal stuff like this.”
“Yeah, sure,” Cass replied tentatively. “Hey… um…”
She wasn't sure how to ask this next question politely.
“Are you… I mean… why are you…?”
Ria let out an affronted gasp.
“Cassidy! You can't just ask someone why they're a hologram!”
“I'm sorry, I didn't mean-”
Ria burst into laughter.
Cass looked around the room, trying to imagine the starship as a large friendly dog.
“Your face! Oh my gosh! No, it's cool. I'm the ship AI. Well... sort of. My official primary function is navigation. I'm not technically integrated with the Padua, but I interface with a lot of her lower systems. She's really friendly, like a big fluffy dog.”
“Hey, so…” Ria said. “Please don't take this the wrong way, but you really look like you could use a shower. Do you want a shower?”
Aside from that, the water was warm and it was still quite literally the most luxuriant experience of her life.
Cass very much did want a shower.
Unfortunately the shower booth that sat across the hall from the med bay was nearly as tight as the cryo tube and the reality of being trapped in a tight wet space somewhat soured the experience.
At least until she discovered the small patch of shaved hair at the base of her neck, and the slightly raised edge of a surgical scar that had been hastily cauterized shut. It was fresh… or had been fresh whenever Cass went into the cryo pod. She still didn't even know how long ago that had been. Days? Years? Longer?
“Anomalous readings,” Ria had said. Someone had clearly been inside her head, relatively recently in terms of biological time.
She didn't even realize she was crying until the water shut off abruptly at the end of her allotment and she found herself leaning her head against the tile, shoulders shaking slightly from the emotion.
She couldn't remember anything. That fact had been more of an abstract academic fact while the wake up drugs swirled around in her bloodstream, when staying alive and reaching safety was the only thing that mattered. Now the reality of her situation hit her full on, bringing a profound sense of loss.
She depressed the dryer mechanism and closed her eyes as assorted vents blasted her with warm air from all directions.
She was alive. She was safe (probably).
As the dry cycle wound to a finish, she opened her eyes and once again, she found herself on a strange ship, staring at a reflection that she didn't recognize. She looked better, slightly less haggard and the self inflicted scratches were healing. The cheeks were still sunken and the eyes still ringed by dark circles.
She needed a meal or three and a proper night's sleep.
And she needed answers... if there ever were any. What if there weren't? Or what if there were and she didn't like them?
The face in the mirror looked even more bewildered and lost than before if that was possible.
Maybe Ria had been right and she really could be anyone she wanted.
“Well,” she told her reflection with a weak smile. “I guess it's time to figure out who Cass is.”
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