#she doesn’t get asked about it a lot
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Fourteen has taken up watercolour painting again. They really like painting little scenes from town
#doctor who#fourteenth doctor#what’s fourteen up to#they’re actually not half bad#one of the paintings ends up in Mel’s office#she doesn’t get asked about it a lot#but when she does it’s certainly fun to see people’s stunned reactions#when she just casually says ‘oh yes the doctor painted it’#also hi hello I’m back on land#unfortunately didn’t read/listen to any doctor who stuff so I’m not quite as feral as I usually am upon retur
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look i totally get it’s all love now but genuinely every kipperlilly sympathizer that only talks about how it’s so valid she hates the bad kids and how she’s a side character getting fucked by the main characters simply just feels like they themselves have hella side character syndrome and are relating to kipperlilly a bit too hard and might need to consider that they’re only a side character if they convince themselves they are
(my tags explain it a bit better but i was too lazy to copy them up here)
#and look i’m not here as a kipperlilly hater in any way she is very relatable in many ways that i have posted about before#BUT it’s giving the kid in class with awful grades saying u only get good grades cause the teacher likes u when the teacher likes u cause#it doesn’t come easy to u but u reach out and ask for help and work really hard so they know you’re invested and appreciate that#and obviously that’s a personal experience but i guess what i’m saying is i’ve rarely heard a person complain about unfair treatment#(in non-systemic issues) outside of times where other people put in like 200% more work than them and they just refuse to believe it#and instead feel salty and hide that behind ‘it’s not fair’ and ‘[insert authority figure here] likes them more’#and i’ve also seen a lot of people acknowledge that but also some people are just like going on ab how it’s rough to be a ‘side character’#and how it’s unfair and whatever and in the majority of the instances in this show i think the bad kids have genuinely earned their rep#original overanalyzing#fhjy#d20 fhjy#fantasy high#fig faeth#gorgug thistlespring#riz gukgak#fabian aramais seacaster#kristen applebees#adaine abernant#kipperlilly copperkettle#fhjy spoilers
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i look at you and my eyes are so so so wet like with tears tears of pure emotion and extend out my closed fist and then I open up my hand and you see her. my troll oc. the greatest oc. from 2013. I brought her back and redesigned her and im insane about her again. i begin sobbing on the ground. she’s so small. itty bitty……….
#this is melosa she is everything to me#weeping crying sobbing oh my god look at her awwwww AWWWUGHHH WEEHEHHH#sorry for not answering asks I was drawing this and buying some little bug guys who really rule.#id like to answer them soon im just a little burnt out#yeah she has an ankle monitor and hidden shock collar… little guy gets into a lot of trouble.#she’s the first jadeblooded cicada on her colony so they haven’t culled her for her antics.#the cicadas are essential to communicating with the mother grub#however by sabotage/accident she was given to a lusus for a more normal jadeblood and the nest parasite process went wrong#leading to her being rejected by her lusus : ( <im sooo edgy.#she spent a good deal of her time as a pretty young wriggler wandering around stealing from other trolls in the complex. the youngest troll#are raised in the interior layer of the planet.#she’s always been a rambler. she’s in the WALLS. she managed to break into somewhere super secret she wasn’t supposed to which got#The tracking device stuck on her. if she gets into areas she’s not supposed to be the collar might shock her.#she’s pretty miffed about the whole thing!! it doesn’t help with her exsisting issues with aggression#she likes making people mad and making people fight. just an angry wrath filled little guy#she wears the collars on her horns to stop anyone from trying to calm her down#bugstuck#buggy trolls#homestuck#homestuck oc#fantroll
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Was bored and rereading TPiaG as I sometimes do
And I read a line about the librarian Swadloon in Verdant village having a crush on Kip, and since I don't Think you have any art of that yet, it was too enticing for me to not ask you to please draw something of them. Please?
You’re right that I haven’t drawn anything of her! Everybody meet Elwood! :>
#Elwood is several years older than Kip and thinks she doesn’t have a shot with him as a result.#she was the ugly duckling growing up and has internalized a lot of that perceived undesirableness.#Kip always thought she was super kind AND pretty whenever he stopped by the library. he really liked talking to her.#she’s never expressed interest to Kip in going on a date sometime— and Kip always felt weird about asking her out himself.#I could see her getting visibly disappointed when Twig comes by the library without him and bashfully explaining to Twig why when asked#after which Twig is sending Kip the world’s fastest letter in postage history#(she asked Ark to pretty please get her letter to Kip asap and Ark needed no further convincing to speed across the countryside with it)#the present is a gift au#pmd ocs#pmd oc#pokémon mystery dungeon#pokemon mystery dungeon#pmd explorers of sky#pmd explorers#pmd eos#pmd sky#pmd2#pmd#stuff by sofie#sofie answers asks#queued
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I’ve put off posting this for months because I wanted to find my comics so I could talk about how she fits into this one story wise, but I’ve officially given up on that so AT LONG LAST here’s Lauren in The Midnight Giant!
Comic Lauren is younger and a little less mature than her show counterpart, she has less of a parental role towards Hilda and enjoys messing with her. She’s considered a lot less…reliable by her mother. But she genuinely tries, she does everything she can to help her family and prove to her Mum that she’s capable, but that’s a little hard when Johanna’s focus is on Hilda’s shenanigans so often…
Some individual drawings!
#I think Lauren’s comic arch is a lot sbt being overlooked#she want her mum to see her#but Johanna is focused on Hilda a lot bc she’s always in trouble n shit#comic Lauren and show Lauren are very different lol#cause they both serve very different roles narratively#Lauren in the show exists to make you ask questions#about the lore and stuff#but in the comics she’s more of a comic releif character intiiwlly#who’s doesn’t get a more serious story arch until stone forest/mountain king#in the early comics she’s more just the typical teen older sister#who exists to flesh out Hilda’s family#there’s little hints of her later storyline thrown in but#it’s very early stuff#hilda#hilda the series#art#my art#netflix hilda#hilda netflix#digital art#fanart#doodle#drawing#Lauren hilda#Hilda lauren#Hilda oc#hildafolke#Hilda comics#sketch#character design
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petition for ppl to stop trying to deny Ichigo’s title as a delinquent on the grounds of him being a good student. you know delinquency and good grades aren’t mutually exclusive, right? you want to tell me Kurosaki Ichigo, THE Kurosaki Ichigo, a mix of 4 different races, can’t be a delinquent AND 11th in his school? yeah, you’re delusional.
no one’s gonna call you a delinquent just bc you have bad grades. a bad student? yes. but a delinquent? no, bc the definition of the word is “someone who tends to commit crime, particularly minor crime”, and as far as I’m aware beating up ppl is a crime, even if they start it and even if they’re bad.
embrace the reality of Kurosaki Ichigo, saviour of all three worlds, being a dumbass teenager who’s face is known to every cop in the area. the responders for 119 calls know Ichigo’s voice by heart, he says “hi” and they just sigh and ask “how many?”.
this is also a kind of continuation to my post about Grimmjow being in shock when seeing Ichigo out of Shinigami robes, bc we all know he likely thinks of Ichigo as a do-gooder and a law-abiding human (derogatory) and so he’s not surprised when he comes to the Human World and fucking everyone from officers to doctors smile at the guy with exclamations of “Oh, it’s Kurosaki!”. he is significantly more surprised when Tatsuki tells him exactly why they react like that. he loves it and Kurosaki gains two points of respect from him, but he’ll never know.
#bleach#kurosaki ichigo#grimmichi#let Ichigo be a delinquent ppl!!#he can be smart AND make dumb decisions like beating up 27 ppl barehanded#after the whole ‘saving the world’ bs is over he settles a little + everyone knows by now that messing with Kurosaki is a ticket to hell#and so Ichigo doesn’t get in as mang fights as he used to prompting both the police and ambulance to show up at the clinic#asking Isshin ‘is Ichigo alright? I haven’t arrived at the scene to see him bludgeoning thugs in weeks’#Tatsuki is the only person with enough balls to talk to Grimmjow like he can’t rip her throat out in seconds#Grimmjow respects the shit out of her + she tells him a lot of stuff abt Kurosaki he didn’t know#Grimmjow is okay w Chad and doesn’t want to rip Orihime apart but Tatsuki he actually likes#Ichigo teases him about that but also lives the rest of his life in dread bc ‘Grimmjow and Tatsuki are friends’#they fought each other for the position of president of the ‘Kurosaki Ichigo bullying club’#Tatsuki is the president. think of this what you will
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One thing that really gets my goat about how Sakura is written is that she does occasionally start to do something, but the narrative shuts her down. Like this:
Sakura goes to leap into the arena to see Lee after his fight with Gaara. Kakashi shuts her down. Contrast this to the panels that immediately follow this one:
Naruto does the exact same thing and no one bats an eye!
It’s not that I think characters shouldn’t be stopped from doing what they want— it’s just that when it’s a consistent pattern it makes reading about the character really frustrating. When Haku traps Sasuke in his mirror prison thing, Sakura hurls a kunai to help… and Kakashi tells her to guard Tazuna. She does this obediently for the rest of the fight, INCLUDING when she literally thinks Sasuke is dead (Tazuna has to offer to go to Sasuke with her to get her to move). Sakura’s willingness to do this is actually an interesting character trait, but because it’s couched in this weird lack of agency, it makes her seem complacent and cowardly, especially when the take away of a lot of fights seems to be “try no matter what.”
Here’s another example: in the first part of the chunin exam, they’re all told they can pick to answer a final question and risk being banned from promotion, OR they can back out now and take the exam again later. If Sakura were alone, she’d take the question because she’s confident in her abilities.
However, she starts to raise her hand to back out because she wants to protect Naruto.
She backs off when Naruto gives a speech about never giving up, even though her making them all back out is arguably the more mature choice (why would you drag a teammate along on a mission you know they’ll fail?). She also tries to pull them out of the prelim tournament because Sasuke needs urgent medical attention, and he shuts her down AGAIN. Like, looking at this with the wisdom of an adult, Sakura was definitely in the right there.
To be clear, I don’t mind Sakura being a cautious killjoy to Naruto’s “Believe it!” Shonen protag energy. It’s just that whenever she tries to exercise that caution, it gets shut down and that makes it seem like a negative trait to have. (Also: contrast this to Shikamaru being REWARDED for exercising caution and knowing when to back out). I’m not even arguing that the scenes I cited need to be changed, because they do character work for Naruto and Sasuke. I’m just saying that Sakura could have gotten a few more scenes where her choices were plot relevant, and she’d be a more fleshed out character.
#nardo reread#she does get two fights but they’re not consequential to the plot#although interestingly she lies to Naruto about what happens with the oto trio#he asks why her hair is shorter and she says she just felt like a new look#and then later there’s a flashback where Sasuke tells her not to tell Naruto about the curse mark so she doesn’t#if only any of Sakura’s decisions (here— lying) had consequences!#wouldn’t that be fun!!#anyway I wrote this up bc I think this is one of the big flaws I. how kishimoto writes her#and I feel like a lot of people think she’d be ‘fixed’ by giving her a battle axe or something but no!!#just let her actions have consequences!!!
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Maybe I’ll finally Wanze post soon
#as in a more official lore post like holt awol and sonderbar got#ALSO IM SO SO SORRY I STILL AM GONNA ANSWER THOSE INBOX ASKS J SWEAR#Wanze is on the mind there is bugs in my brain!!! wow just like holt huh#their relationship is wild to me they go from barely knowing each other (occasional hallway acquaintances)#to Wanze essentially having the equivalent of a bag of bricks dropped onto her head#which needs a little or a lot of patching up and Holt does that for her#actually hmmm I wonder if I should more visibly leave some marks of The Oopsie on her face#apart from the permanently broken biores crystals#gotta think on that…#anyway I was especially Thinkin about how Wanze really does resent Holt for a while#it’s complicated it’s not completely Holt’s fault#like she can’t control what happened she can’t bring back her bioresonance she’s a medical eule not a miracle worker#she’ll never really understand what it felt like to be part of that mind link#and that leads to some insensitivity on Holt’s part bc she’s really trying to keep Wanze from decommission here#and Wanze! why are you moping you gotta act normal!! Come on Wanze!#neither of them really get each other bc they’re both not stopping and listening like they need to#but they eventually do#also fun Wanze fact but post head trauma fixup she still has to/wants to go to the kolibri library#for stabilization yknow (she’s a nerdddd <3)#however it’s weird and she hates it bc her fellow kolibris are there.#she does not sing the same song anymore and sticks out like a sore thumb when they’re together now :(#she goes at really weird hours when no one else is there to make sure she doesn’t have to see them#Holt sometimes is able to get ahold of books for her#consider them cuddling together reading#that is all#blorbo tag#wanze#holt#Kolibug
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Remind me to never live with neurotypical ppl who have never had money issues in their life/have families who are willing to give them however much money they want whenever they ask. Genuinely infuriating ppl to live with who do not consider how their actions affect others ever. How am I on round 2 of this
#TO BE FAIR MY CURRENT ROOMMATE IS NOWHERE NEAR AS INSANE AS FHE LAST ONE#I would never claim that they are and a part of me is like ‘shut up and be grateful you’re not dealing with that anymore’#but then I’m like. well. I feel like I shouldn’t have to be GRATEFUL to be living with someone who doesn’t throw my stuff out without asking#or move ppl in without asking or demand I get rid of my pets#and god…… at first it seemed like me and the new roommate would be relatively fine#never super close we didn’t have much in common but like. I didn’t think their would be a lot of major issues#unfortunately I now want to bang my head against a wall because of shit she does/expects from me all the time now#some of it is definitely petty things but some of it I’m like#????????? HOW do you think you are reasonable for the things you are wanting/positions you’re putting me in?????#sigh…………… post brought to you by my frustration over having to drop several hundred dollars on vet bills#because of some stupid shit they didn’t think through#(MY CATS ARE FINE THEY ARE NOT SICK OR HURT) it is just a stupid situation#I kinda just wanna make a list bitching about all these petty things to get them out somehow#maybe it will help me feel better so I’m not just holding it all in#sigh….. who’s to say#kaz rambles
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hoo boy I’m having a real one with alia’s canon lol
#the thing is i want to explore alia/koana and i think he’s the person who she needs rn#he meshes into her specific needs that she’s struggled with sid in a lot of ways#he asks her to stay. he understands her childhood. he meets her interests with his own and they can confide in each other.#but i’m still having such a hard time seeing anyone but sid as her endgame.#like. that man has seen the darkest moments in her life and he’s always been there. and vice versa#they get each other in ways most people wouldn’t#and even when sid says he doesn’t understand or want to try he’s still there. and says that.#idk. i’ve been thinking about a sidalia breakup before EW.#they’re not the best at verbal communication and there’s so much of alia’s absences and back-to-back world ending crises#that idk if sid could tell her that he loves her when he’s lost everyone he ever loves and doesn’t know if she’ll actually come back#and she almost doesn’t!! twice!!#however she’s sliding into less of a world-saving role and back to traveling and adventuring on her own terms……….#like she needs this time to find herself and her changing roles and this connection with koana at the moment#but she could find her way back to sid again and might have solid ground to stand on to work this time.#which is all so different from originally thinking they eloped and went on a honeymoon trip to tural!!!!!!!! :o)#dani plays ffxiv#game: ffxiv
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what do you think mulder thinks of diana fowley after biogenesis through amor fati? i don't think we really see anything on screen/in text (though i think it says a lot that he didn't have much of a reaction when scully came to his apartment & instead focuses on scully & their relationship lol)
yeah there’s basically NOTHING in the text but tbh i think finding out for certain that she was working with CSM really kindaaaa snapped him out of some things…mulder doesn’t give a fuck what people do to him, obviously, but it’s a different thing entirely to find out that your ex is involved in something like that. like there are MILES from “my partner makes me feel like shit and is maybe pretty abusive” and “my partner is like 3rd on the call list of a eugenics group that treats women like test subjects”
like, scully was right, diana was monitoring MUFON women and collecting data on them. she was heading up the tests on cassandra. she probably knew the truth about samantha the whole time. just nasty nasty shit.
she’s the villain in the amor fati dream: the dismissive symbol of abandonment that offers another path.
one of the most interesting scenes of diana’s character to me, is in the sixth extinction, when she comes to see mulder in the hospital. and she knows what the effects of the artifact are, that he can hear what she’s thinking. that, therefore, he knows who she works for and what she’s doing. (imagine your ex-husband/wannabe boyfriend/obsession finds out you’re lying to him because he can read your mind….shit is crazy!)
and she tells him that she knows he knows. but that he also knows that she loves him.
and she does love him. there’s no reason to lie about that then, she knows he would be able to tell.
scully knows it without hearing it, that’s how she gets diana to save mulder’s life, ultimately. she comes to her and begs. tells her to please just think of him, who he is, who he was when she met him, who he is now. in the end, because of scully weaponizing how diana feels, diana can’t go through with it. she gives her life to help him.
diana seems to be one of those influences on mulder that’s only really all that significant when she’s close by. it’s like how all the tension in the beginning builds up to him getting in her car when she tells him to, leaving scully, when diana is there instructing him.
i think being able to know who she truly was and her true intentions and allegiances, prior to her death, really goes a long way in the way he responds to losing her.
don’t get me wrong, i think he’s upset. you can kind of see the shock cross his face when scully tells him. but he stays focused on his goal, which is to express to scully how important she is to him, in the wake of how discarded diana always made her feel.
mulder loved diana and grieves that she was killed, he doesn’t have it in him not to, but mostly he…wanted something from her, right? he wanted that approval and “affection” and to please her. he wanted her to believe him. the first thing that she says to disarm him (in the end) when she can tell he’s uneasy, is, “hey. i’m on your side.”
learning who she really is, it’s easier not to crave her approval so badly.
(this is the crux of amor fati’s “last temptation.” it’s diana saying: you’re childish. you are going to fail. your path is not your own. “you have to let go, fox.” and it’s scully countering: we need you. this is who you are.)
(it’s why he responds in the end by telling scully that it’s her that’s the voice of truth.)
and then in death, diana’s not…there for him to want anything from!! so it’s like, again, yeah he obviously feels the loss, this was someone who meant a lot to him for over a decade. but also it’s likeeeeee freeing in a way? it makes things simpler in a way? (he’s able to communicate all of that to scully instantly after hearing diana is gone, after over a year of the tension hanging around it)
if you asked him about diana now, or even a year later, i think he’d be like…damn that’s crazy! 😭😭 mulder doesn’t have an awful lot of object permanence you guys sjdjsjfj
when scully comes to tell mulder that diana was killed, and he says to her, “you were my friend, and you told me the truth,” the language matters so much. that’s what scully called diana, “i know she was your friend,” and he turns it back onto her. you were my friend. you told me the truth.
in my opinion, it’s not that he doesn’t love and grieve diana, but that there’s a freedom in knowing the truth. knowing who someone is, and their intentions. knowing who has your best interest at heart. knowing where you stand in the world, what you want to do.
that’s really what allows for the openness and lightness of s7, in the wake of diana’s absence. mulder’s always seeking, always learning.
#in a lot of ways diana knows mulder sooo well#like her mannerisms and every little word and phrase are so carefully chosen#like that moment in ‘the end’ when she says she’s on his side and takes his hand#her VERY first line on the show is telling a room full of people that she thinks mulder is right. that she believes him.#something she continues to enforce when she needs to#i was just looking at ‘the beginning’ and the way that when he kinda doesn’t trust her after she took over the x-files#and they find her outside#she says ‘fox. i’m going to get out of the car. i’m alone. alright?’#like she communicates with him in a way where like….if she had good intentions it would be exactly how to help/calm him#but because she DOESNT it’s EXACTLY how to have him eating out of the palm of her hand#very interesting character very vile woman#anyway idk i think there’s something very ‘good for him!’ esque about how quickly he moves on from her ����#i think he’s able to for all the reasons i cited here about knowing what she’s doing and who she is#but mulder is sooooo easily wrapped up in trying to please someone or trying to help someone and getting in a shit situation#and that controls so much of their lives for so long#and i was trying to think about it and i feel like diana’s death kinda is the last time that he’s so trapped in that!#he still does it on a smaller extent ofc but it’s less about the person more the situation after diana if i recall#asks#amor fati#diana
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Spontaneous reminder to save the kind comments and thank you emails/DMs that you receive in your life, even if it seems small in the moment… you’ll happen to have that printout of that nice email on your wall on the day when you need it the most, and you’ll be glad you did it.
Also: if you can, try to be the reason someone prints out an email to save for a bad day
#brought to you by the email I just printed out and pinned to my cubicle wall#it recognized that a lot of my work is behind the scenes and that it doesn’t get the recognition it deserves#so the sender wanted to make sure I knew that my work is appreciated#stop I’m already crying!!! stop!!!! stop!!!!!!!#i have a corner of my cubicle wall dedicated to saving thank you cards for this very reason#because that sender was right! my work is often used to promote others and I so rarely get credit for it#it isn’t really my place to ask for credit in most situations either… and add in the fact that my coworkers use my work without even ASKING#I am very disgruntled about this dynamic right now and I swear this person read my mind. somehow she knew#my coworkers get showered in praise for the work that I do and it just. it means a lot to get that one little thank you card#gonna go curl up in a ball under my desk now…
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i love my new therapist so much cause she’s the first person i’ve ever met who takes me seriously when i talk about suicide even though i don’t have a concrete plan and haven’t actually made any attempts yet
#with everyone else it’s like. hey i feel violently suicidal i started s*lf h*rming again and i feel so miserable im in physical pain#‘oh cool. well have you attempted suicide in the past?’#no. ‘well do you even have a plan for what you’d do?’#also no.#’okay well i don’t really care. have some more prescription medication that you continually threaten to od on’#’btw have you tried just not being depressed? maybe give that a shot. okay that will be one billion dollars see you next month’#but emily (that’s my new therapists name) actually listens to me#and acknowledges how scary and concerning being in my mindset is#and she walks me through what my options are for when it gets really bad#and i like that when i go quiet cause i don’t know what to say she doesn’t get frustrated with me for wasting time and she doesn’t#put words in my mouth and decide what i’m feeling for me#she asks what im thinking and gives me the space to process what i am thinking and if i can’t talk about it she tries to walk me through#the thought process and doesn’t push me. if i don’t wanna talk i don’t have to#basically. i like her a lot so far. and i still feel bad a lot#but having someone finally actually listen and take me seriously makes me feel a little better#she doesn’t just repeat ‘oh it’ll get better you’ll be fine’#she’s willing to stay in the present with me and figure out how i’m going to get through the next week instead of making me figure out my#whole life right now#sigh#snow.txt
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.
#in a strange place today and i need to put this somewhere. i do not have a journal yet. this is it#my grandad was diagnosed with dementia years ago and the grandad i have now is often unrecognisable from the one i grew up with#and while this like isn’t fun and it is strange for him to look at me and not know me more times than he does. it has also been kind of l#lovely?#bc he thinks my granny is still alive so whenever i get to go see him i get to pretend she is too. and she is for a minute. and tho i am#glad she went before him. it is nice to say oh i’m popping in to see her after this grandad and talk about her like she’s hasn’t been gone#since i’ve been ten. my dad has spoken more to him in the last five years than he has his whole life#he was not an easy man. he was loud and friendly and hard working and funny and scary but not easy. in ways he is even#harder now. in others he is easier.#he is more of a child. this is what dementia can do to a brain. we are learning things about his childhood that no one alive has ever spoken#about. that no one knew. my dad doesn’t love him more now but he understands him better#my grandad taught me how to drive a tractor and how to fish through my dad and he has not recognised me in over a year and he#hasn’t walked since he broke his pelvis seven years ago and his muscles are nearly all gone. he is a fraction of the size he used to be. his#personality and body took up my childhood like adults on the screen in cartoons. he hasn’t dressed himself in a decade. he told one of the#nurses that after dinner he wanted ice cream plain like herself and nearly peed when she laughed and told him to fuck off#he is in there. he is himself. i know him. but he isn’t. he doesn’t know me but he allows me to tell him how to ppl he knows are doing. he#still somehow trusts me. we talk a lot about my granny and how she stayed up watching tv again last night so she’s tired today. don’t stay#long when you call in to see her?#whenever we would journey to see him and my granny and get in v late he’d ask us if we wanted apple tart and my granny would say michael.#not ur kids. u can’t parent them. he didn’t know my name yesterday but he asked me if i wanted apple tart#i hope he dies soon. for all that i will miss this. miss my dad having this. he would not want to live like this. it wouldntbe living to him
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something so nefarious about not being able to be yourself (being a lesbian) around your family (ESPECIALLY relatives in taiwan/china and family friends here/taiwan) because you’d be ostracized like crazy and potentially lose out on your cultural ties that you spent your whole life building and maintaining
#thinking about this a lot because yes my mom is actively praying the gay away but in the same breath asked if she could use my gay friend a#a beard for me so that she can stop ppl from trying to set me up on blind dates with men#we’ve got some contradictory behaviour here but i’ll take whatever i can get#ALSO! i get why she’s praying the gay away she just doesn’t want me to be ostracized and have ppl see me differently (negatively)#but at some point she’s gotta realize she can’t shield me from that + i’m already actively experiencing it with her saur here we are#also like it’s my life to live i accept the hardships that come with being true to myself#the feeling of freedom and living life with sincerity outweighs the negativity#but also at the same time … i wish i didn’t have to hide and pretend im someone im not just to be able to have connections to my culture#WELP!#i’ve got more thoughts on this and i wish i could be more eloquent and have a more nuanced take on it all but i also don’t have the words t#describe just exactly how it makes me feel and how i would go about combatting this#also like obviously ppl around my age and millennials cousins are not going to be homophobic and ostracize me but so much of community are#the relationships you have with your elders#//
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There are places where I think a sex scene can dramatically impact a story in a way that enriched the viewing experience and conveys important information. There are movies and/or tv shows in which this happens. I haven’t seen any of them. So much of the time it’s there to do exactly what it says on the tin. A woman and a man are banging. Sure. Fine. Happy for them. It’s just a literal scene used to pull a bit of a ‘well you didn’t think THEY would be involved’ plot twist or a ‘we’re so edgy’ signal. The only show so far that I’ve seen that uses sex scenes as an actual tool of storytelling is Black Sails, and the reason it works in Black Sails is that the sex is Bad. People are bored. People are distracted. The characters are so bound up with the plot that it’s physically prevented them from fucking like normal human beings. That works. The rest doesn’t
#kelsey rambles#don’t ask what prompted this post because it would lead to me being institutionalized#but I do think sex scenes have a lot of untapped potential for just. character information. that doesn’t get used#like the anne/jack scene. it communicates so well that the intimacy between these two comes from trust and not the other way around#anne isn’t attracted to jack as a person and jack is neither here nor there on anne as a romantic interest#he pursues her out of a sense of ‘well she’s a woman and that’s how this works’. she semi-sort-of-dates him because it’s all the same to her#she’s never wanted a guy so why wouldn’t she consider a platonic bond to be just the normal thing for screwing around#Jack isn’t paying attention to Anne because he’s thinking about money.#Anne is bickering with him like they’re a pair of muppet clowns#it’s so very awkward and unsexy. it’s not even charged enough to be embarrassing#they may as well be clipping each other’s toenails for all the raw desire there is(n’t) in the scene#and it works! these are two characters who have an intimacy so far from romantic that the writers describe it as twin-like#they misinterpret it as desire because they’re plank-thick pirates. it’s not toxic it’s just kind of square peg round hole#(hah hah). good scene. shows should try having good scenes more often
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