#never super close we didn’t have much in common but like. I didn’t think their would be a lot of major issues

[lesbiansanemi]

Remind me to never live with neurotypical ppl who have never had money issues in their life/have families who are willing to give them however much money they want whenever they ask. Genuinely infuriating ppl to live with who do not consider how their actions affect others ever. How am I on round 2 of this

[superiorsturgeon]

out of curiosity, why do you like sturgeons so much?

A chance to info dump about my favorite fish…?!

I grew up in the Great Lakes area of North America, where fishing is pretty popular but everyone knows that fish populations aren’t anything like “the good old days” when people took out huge numbers of fish while messing up their spawning sites. I got pretty into fishing when I found out that I could catch bluegill in the surrounding farm ponds, and once in a while my family took me to an isolated fishing cabin for vacation, but for years I never encountered a wild fish bigger than a kilogram or two.

BUT THEN…

I found out about sturgeon! They were HUGE fish that had once lived in the rivers and lakes all around my home, and better yet, fish almost exactly like modern sturgeon had existed all the way back in the Cretaceous period alongside the dinosaurs, and they STILL EXIST TODAY!!! The fact that small numbers of these huge dinosaur fish still existed made them seem almost like a real-life lake monster/cryptid, except that we had proof of their existence!

Furthermore, there’s just nothing else like them. Sturgeon get big. Like, REALLY big. The record for the largest sturgeon was almost 11 meters/24 feet long, which is colossal for freshwater animals. They have armor plates of bone running down their sides, and at the same time they don’t have bony skeletons. They also have a crazy mouth structure, which allows them to actually pop their jaws out like a tube and suck up food. And on top of all of this, the adults are absolute tanks. I’ve seen skin nearly 8mm thick, and it’s so tough that people make leather out of it, and they occasionally lose fins or even entire gill plates and just keep on swimming! (I found out about that last one when I tried to wrestle a big female out of a river and my hand went straight into her gills. She didn’t seem that bothered by it!)

For a long time I filed sturgeon along with Alligator Gar, Giant Mekong catfish, and Yangtze paddlefish as a semi-legendary fish that may still exist, but I was never going to see except possibly in an aquarium, until I enrolled in graduate school. For those unfamiliar with grad school in the US, it typically involves both high-level classes as well as an independent research project the student designs and carries out with help from an experienced professor. When my mentor asked what kind of thing I wanted to study, I tossed out “sturgeon” as one such possibility, expecting to hear that I would probably have to limit myself to more common/accessible species.

I was blown away when she said “Actually, I think I know a guy…”

For the next several years, I got to ride along collecting wild adult sturgeon, gathering eggs, and raising the baby fish in a lab and in a hatchery. I was holding something that I had thought of as a semi-mythical lake/river monster in my own hands! I got to see a river choked with giants as big as 2 meters long, and I got to hold a 5-centimeters mottled baby whose armored scutes were still sharp and possessed the little arrowhead shape and big black pectoral fins that remind me of Mickey Mouse ears! In the video below you can even see a little heartbeat! (Don’t worry, this little guy was returned to the tank soon after to recover from his anesthesia!)

Sadly, I didn’t find anything super groundbreaking in my research, but my experience DID land me a job working in sturgeon aquaculture! If you’ve ever had caviar that wasn’t poached, it probably came from a sturgeon farm, and if you want to see a lot of big fish up close, this is a good place to do it! I probably personally handled more individual sturgeon than there are wild fish in several sturgeon species. In addition, while the wild broodstock I mentioned above might reach 2 meters and over 50kg, the sturgeon I dealt with at the farm would easily double that, and there were a LOT of them! I got to see sturgeon behavior that had never been recorded in field guides, and even a few crazy one-in-a-million mutations like the infamous “ghost” sturgeon!

I even got the opportunity to cook my own sturgeon meat (Yeah, I basically turned into the Touden siblings from Dungeon Meshi except for sturgeon instead of RPG monsters). I got pretty good at making smoked sturgeon, but the meat is also good on the grill or baked, and people have been cooking them in various ways for centuries.

My favorite part of the job was physically wrestling the big fish! Sturgeon are easier to grab than other fish with the right know-how, but a human-sized fish often has its own plans for the day and won’t always cooperate. I was pretty good at moving the adults by the time I left that job, but it was still a wild rodeo every time!

Even more exciting was how we spawned each new generation of sturgeon. In the wild, they form massive spawning runs in big rivers that in the past would be enough to tip small boats, but in a lab or farm we have to use other means. I’ll spare you the details, but I am one of a small number of people who have surgically extracted eggs from a live sturgeon and sutured them back up to swim another day.

The tldr of this essay is that sturgeon are a big, crazy-unique fish that have been around a long time, and I’ve spent a lot of my career handling and working with them. There’s just nothing like them for a fish nerd and they’re damn cool!

(Clip art not mine, I think @sturgeonposting drew or shared it!)

[miniwrites1]

In The Dark - Dark!Sebastian Sallow

okok can i request some dark!sebastian x reader ? i’m thinking some spice…like super spicy (seb is aged up of course)!

Word Count – 2.5k

Relationship - Dark!Sebastian x Fem!Reader

Warnings - angst, smut, vaginal fingering, oral sex(m!receiving), unprotected sex, dirty talk, reader and Sebastian are of age. Dark at the end. Not proofread!

Minors DNI!

Requests are open!

The end of seventh year was fast approaching and for Sebastian it couldn’t come soon enough, he was ready to escape from Hogwarts, Feldcroft, all of it. He’d had enough of being trapped in a cage, after having a taste of dark magic he wanted to pursue it.

After the everything that happened in fifth year, he’d started to lose most of his close friends and family. Ominis never forgot Sebastian’s use of dark magic and began to gradually distance himself, eventually not speaking to him at all. He couldn’t forgive Sebastian for using it, not after everything he’d been through as a child.

The last thing he heard from Anne was a letter that she’d left for him in their late uncle’s home, informing him that she could never forgive him for what he’d done and that he’d gone too far. She never wanted to hear from him again. In his mind, he hadn’t gone far enough.

The only person who he felt truly understood him was (Y/N), you’d been friends with him since fifth year and in a relationship since sixth year, he thought you’d always be there for him. But a few days ago, he spotted you in the library alone. Sebastian walked over to you and pulled out the chair on the opposite side of the table, making a horrible scraping noise across the floor. You almost jumped out of your seat, pulling your gaze from the book in front of you and locking eyes with him.

“(Y/N). How are you?” Sebastian asked, looking you up and down. You tried to smile at him, but it faltered, you just had to hope he didn’t notice.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his brow furrowed. You pursed your lips, trying to think of how you could explain what you were thinking.

“I know what you’ve been doing Sebastian, torturing and killing poachers. Are you insane?” Sebastian knew that if you weren’t in the library within earshot of the librarian that (Y/N) would have been yelling at him.

“They deserved everything that they got.” Sebastian stated firmly, he knew he was right. He was doing what other people wouldn’t dare do.

“Not that Sebastian, you swore to me you wouldn’t use dark magic again.” (Y/N) spoke slightly louder, your patience with him was slowly being ebbed away. Sebastian rolled his eyes and slouched back into the chair, he thought you’d understand.

“I’m sorry, ok? I wanted them to pay.” He stated bluntly, without a single ounce of remorse. You huffed and gathered the books that were on the table in front of you. Sebastian just stared at you as you walked away from him.

Later that evening, Sebastian walked back towards the Slytherin common room alone. He’d normally have you by his side wherever he went, but you’d been giving him the cold shoulder all day since your conversation in the library. As he headed down the final staircase to the common room, he heard voices talking in hushed tones which made him pause on the last step to listen, just out of sight of whoever it was.

“He’s using dark magic again; I don’t know what to do Ominis.” (Y/N) confessed sadly, tears streaming down your cheeks. Ominis pursed his lips, not knowing what to say.

“He won’t listen to anyone (Y/N), I don’t think there’s anything we can do to help him anymore.” Ominis replied.

Sebastian saw red, his old best friend was speaking to you but wouldn’t speak to him. His breathing grew heavier, feeling himself get angrier every moment that he listened to your conversation. As much as he wanted to hurt Ominis for so much as speaking to you, he knew you’d never forgive him for it. He’d lose you too. With that in mind, Sebastian crept away, only returning after curfew when he knew everyone would be in their own common rooms.

The next morning, Sebastian rolled out of bed, a red haze still surrounded him, not able to let go of what he’d heard the previous night. He released a loud sigh, glancing around the dormitory. He needed to come up with a plan to keep you with him and away from anyone who might try and steal you away.

He stood up sharply, grinning to himself. He had the perfect idea. He quickly gathered his books from where they were discarded on the floor next to his bed and made his way towards his first class of the day, charms class. As he entered the room, he spotted you sat in your usual seat, the one next to his. He walked over and sat down next to you.

“Hey.” He said cautiously, not wanting to ruin his plan by scaring you off straight away. You glanced over at him, giving him a small nod before turning back to your book. Sebastian sighed; this was going to be harder than he thought.

“Can we talk later? Please (Y/N). Will you meet me near the defence against the dark arts classroom?” He almost begged, you sighed turning to look at him.

“Ok, but later. I’m busy right now.” You responded, somewhat harshly. It hurt you to treat him this way but he needed to understand that what he was doing was not ok. He looked dejected, causing you to sigh.

“I’m sorry Sebastian, I’m just frustrated right now.” You said calmly, watching some of the tension leave his body. His shoulders dropped.

“It’s ok, I understand I’ve been an arse to you recently and broken your trust, I want to make it up to you.” Sighing again, you agreed to meet him at seven, regardless of what he’d done, you still loved him.

Just before seven you made your way to the corridor outside of the classroom, waiting for Sebastian to arrive. You were missing dinner to meet him, hoping that whatever he said would be worth it. As you approached the end of the corridor you felt and arm wrap around your waist and drag you backwards into a small room. You went to scream but a hand clamped down over your mouth, the door slamming closed so you were locked inside. You struggled until you heard a laugh that you’d come to recognise well.

“For Merlin’s sake Sebastian!” You fumed, turning on your heel to face him, trying to calm yourself down. He smiled sweetly at you, managing to apologise in between his laughter. You shook your head but smiled at his antics, for a moment he seemed to be back to his old self.

“So, you wanted to talk?” You asked after he’d stopped laughing so much. He nodded, leaning back against the wall.

“I wanted to apologise for how I’ve been lately, I’ve not been myself. Maybe because of what’s happened with Ominis and Anne. I’m not sure. But I’d never want to do anything to hurt what we have.” He said softly. Doubt still lingered in your mind about whether he was being truthful, you hoped he was but after everything that had happened, you couldn’t be sure.

You mulled over his words for a moment, his gaze never left you. His eyes gave away what he was thinking about.

“Something else on your mind?” You quipped, able to tell from how dilated his pupils were, he wanted you.

“Maybe.” He replied. You glanced down to the floor, debating whether the storeroom was really the best place for this.

Sebastian backed you into the storeroom door, roughly placing his hand around the base of your neck, forcing you to look up at him. You stared into his eyes, quickly flicking your gaze to his lips and back again.

“Is there something you want (Y/N)?” He smirked, immediately noticing the look you’d given him. You went to reply but he stopped you, pressing his lips against yours in a hungry kiss. Your eyes fluttered closed as he removed his hand from your throat, pinning you to the door by pressing his hips against yours. He nipped at your lower lip with his teeth before attacking your mouth again.

You could feel him getting hard, your hands had naturally gravitated to his back when he started to kiss you but slowly you lowered one and began to touch him through his trousers. Feeling your touch, he quickly undid his belt and whipped it off, discarding it across the room. Pulling away from you, he took hold of your shoulders and pushed you to your knees. Looking up at him through your eyelashes, you saw him smirk at you as he unbuttoned his trousers, shuffling them down slightly along with his underwear, exposing what you wanted.

Placing your hand around the base, you slowly wrapped your lips around the tip and began bobbing up and down, swirling your tongue around his tip each time you came back up. He moaned quietly at your motions, lacing his fingers through your hair to push your head down further.

“I need you (Y/N)” He groaned, you continued your movements, taking your time to tease him. You could see what he was becoming more and more frustrated, he gripped your hair, pulling your mouth away. You knew what he was suggesting, seeing how badly he needed you.

“I’d never hurt you, tell me if you don’t want this.”

“Please, I want this.” You practically begged.

“Are you sure?” He asked cautiously, he didn’t want you to agree to something you didn’t want.

“I’m sure. Please Sebastian.” You replied earnestly, you wanted him, regardless of what he’d done. He stared at you for a moment before pulling out his wand, your eyes widened.

“Silencio.” He murmured, sparks shooting out of the tip of his wand. You tried to speak but no sound could be heard. He smirked again before pulling you into the centre of the room and laying you on your stomach.

“Can’t have you making too much noise now, can we?”

You could hear Sebastian shuffling around behind you, making you wonder what he was doing until he grabbed your wrists and placed them in the middle of your back, quickly wrapping his tie around them and tying it into a tight knot. He pushed your skirt up around your hips and grabbed your underwear, slowly pulling it down your legs. You wanted to let out a moan but couldn’t, you needed him now.

“Is all of this for me?” He asked, running a finger between your folds. You were soaking wet, ready for him. He hummed in amusement, toying with you while you squirmed underneath him, trying to push down on his finger. Noticing your neediness, Sebastian pushed two fingers inside of you, stretching you open and placed his thumb on your clit, rubbing in small, firm circles. Your eyes rolled back at the sensation, the stretch and the stimulation to your clit was making you wetter by the minute, but Sebastian was in no rush. He wanted to draw it out and make you plead for every orgasm that he’d give you.

He slowly withdrew his fingers to the tips and removed his thumb from your clit causing you to squirm, feeling your orgasm slipping away every centimetre that he pulled out. Frustration took over and you began to wriggle, trying to get back his fingers. Sebastian laughed at your neediness.

“Sorry love, did you want them back?” He asked, pushing his fingers back in quickly, curving them inside of you. Your mouth hung open; you were gasping for relief.

“You can cum if you want to. But it won’t be the last one that I get out of you tonight.” He teased, slapping his hand down onto your bare arse, leaving behind a bright red handprint. Sebastian continued tormenting your clit until you tensed up around his fingers, your walls spasmed around him as you orgasmed. Barely a moment after your orgasm had subsided and Sebastian had removed his fingers, he flipped you onto your back and crawled on top of you, placing his hands either side of you.

“Are you ok? Do you want to keep going?” He asked sincerely. You nodded intently, eyes pleading with him. He licked his lips, gazing at you hungrily. He lifted your knees up to bend your legs and placed his tip against your entrance, toying with you as you tried to move down onto him. You knew he was completely in control.

He started slowly, teasing you as he pushed the tip in, taking his time as he stretched you open. Gradually, his thrusts got deeper and harsher.

“Arch your back.” He commanded, you did as asked and he hit something deeper inside of you that made your mouth fall open. He placed his thumb back on your clit and rubbed harsh circles, making you thrust up into him.

“Shit, (Y/N). I’m going to cum.” Sebastian moaned, his thrusts became erratic as he was chasing his orgasm. With him inside of you and the pressure he was putting on your clit, it didn’t take you long to fall over the edge into another orgasm, your walls fluttered around him pushing him to orgasm, his moans echoing off the walls in the small room. You could hear your heart beating in your ears and the sound of Sebastian’s laboured breaths as he pulled out of you and leant back onto his knees. Taking a breath, leant forwards and grabbed your shoulders, pulling you up into a sitting position. He made quick work of the knot he had used to tie your hands together.

“Sonorus.” Sebastian murmured, undoing the silencing charm he had placed on you.

You met Sebastian’s gaze as he searched for his trousers and underwear that had been thrown across the room at some point. He smiled at you as he slipped back into his clothes. You realised that you were still sat on the floor, so you quickly got to your feet, retrieving your underwear which had been discarded, pulling your skirt back down and adjusting it to make it look like nothing had happened. Sebastian was putting his belt back on as you approached him.

“I should have used this on you.” He mentioned in passing, making you blush. “Maybe next time.”

“Sebastian, I-.” You started to speak but he held up his hand.

“I know what you’re about to say, I’m truly sorry for everything I’ve done (Y/N). I don’t want to lose you. I – I love you.” His words trailed off to a whisper at the end, sadness taking over his features. You stayed silent for a moment.

“Sebastian, I know the past couple of years have been hard for you, I don’t want to lose you either but if you carry on down the path that you’re on, I know I will. I love you too much to lose you.” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pulled him close, resting your head on his shoulder. His arm snaked around your waist, pulling you closer to him, one arm remained by his side. Gently, he removed his wand from his pocket, aiming it towards you,

“Imperio.” He spoke softly, a look of shock crossed your features as the spell hit, but it quickly disappeared as the curse took over. Sebastian knew he couldn’t afford to lose you. He loved you too much for that.

Link to Part 2

[jazzsonly]

ᴜꜱᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪꜱ

pairing(s): sam carpenter x g!p!stem!reader

warning(s): none. very very brief kiss. mentions of reader being a nerd/nerd-like. not proofread.

summary: sam might have said no to your date but you get something even better.

part two. coming soon!

────────✯────────

when you met chad, you’d never thought you would become best friends with a guy like him. he was an idiot jock, who liked to party and be shirtless.

you were a smart tutor, a somehow homebody who liked to party. so i guess, you could say that’s what you guys had in common,

partying.

you tutored chad every wednesday but one weekend at a frat party you bumped into the jock, surprisingly ending up having a drinking contest. you found it a little odd to be drinking with the same guy you’re tutoring but chad found it cool, he found you cool. he had never met anyone as smart as you but now he had never met anyone more fun than you.

as much as he loved his friends if core four, he couldn’t deny you were down for things with him they wouldn’t be. after, the partying and drinking contest together, you both got more comfortable together, setting up study dates at each other’s apartments.

those study dates eventually became call of duty battles, checking out the girls on campus together, sometimes hitting the gym together. there was no denying you and chad were newly best friends, despite ethan’s sulking jealousy.

now, you were glad you met chad but even more glad when he introduced you to the core four, more importantly sam.

sam.

you were no better than a man when you first laid your eyes on the girl, you stared at her like she was a piece of meat. it was so bad that now everytime she entered room and you were there, chad just had to joke telling you to close your mouth.

you were sure sam sorta kinda had thing for you too, from chad she was super uptight with new people, definitely not a trusting person but with you, she was chill. she sat next to you during movie nights, shared the popcorn with you, sometimes she even laid her legs in your lap.

this enflamed your crush even more, well until tara claimed it was only because she thought anyone chad brought around was just as dumb as him. and no dumb person could be ghostface.

but she was wrong, you were top of all your classes, well almost all.

fuck chemistry.

“chad, focus.” you slap the back of the boy’s head who had dozed off at the sight of tara.

“ow! i am focused!”

“stop being a baby, i didn’t even hit you that hard. now, how many vertices are in this problem?” you point at the math sketch in the textbook.

“uh…7?” you pinch the bridge of your nose.

you had been at the kitchen counter for hours trying to tutor chad but he had only gotten two questions right.

“look, don’t get mad at me you’re the one who supposed to help me know this stuff.”

“you’re impossible to teach!” you throw your hands up, dramatically letting them fall back down.

“what are you doing?” you turn your head a the familiar voice, your favorite voice.

sam who had just emerged from her room from a hibernated nap.

“trying to tutor this idiot.”

“hey!” you ignore chad, all you energy engorged with sam.

“you? tutor?”

“uh, yeah, i’m top of all my classes…well except for one.” stupid chemistry, you thought.

“you are?” you nod.

“then why are you friends with chad?”

“hey!”

“i ask myself the same thing.” sam just nods at your words, making her way to the fridge.

“can we take a break now?” you flag chad off and he takes that was his leeway to take the couch with tara.

“soo…sam?” you move your way around the counter.

“yea?” she answered despite her back away from you as her eyes scanned the fridge.

“i was thinking, i mean if you want to uh go to a movie with me?”

you watched as her movements paused and she turned towards you, you couldn’t pinpoint what she was feeling or her facial expression but there was something there.

“sorry but i can’t…” she trailed off, closing the fridge and seemingly retreating back down the hallway into her room.

you stood there, dumbfounded.

dumbfounded yet unphased, if sam carptener’s love was a challenge the nerd in you would gladly accept it.

“she’s not gonna give up, just watch.” you hear chad mumble to tara, which you flipped him off.

in the coming weeks after that you expected sam to avoid you like a plague but she did the opposite, it was like everytime you were over she went out of her way to be around you. making sure to touch your shoulder when she moved by you, hugging you as a greeting, hell she even cuddled with you on movie nights and to say the least, you did not mind.

but what you did mind was when you asked about her rejecting your advances, she would avoid it.

once again the nerd in you would not allow this, you would get to the bottom of it and right now was the perfect timing. everyone had left to the store to collect snacks for movie night, minus chad who was in tara’s room doing god knows what with the girl.

it was just you and sam, empty and open apartment, side by side on the couch while family feud played.

“so, you’re really not gonna tell me why you won’t go out with me?”

“you don’t give up do you?” the carpenter turned you, resting her hand on the back of your head, fingers getting tangled in your hair.

see.

“you’re so clingy when i’m here, so why won’t you go out with me?” you watched as she bit her lip, suppressing a taunting smile from you.

“you’re cute, you know, i think you’re cute.”

you smile, “i think you’re cute too, so go out with me?”

a breathy chuckle came from the girls lips, and she moved close to you.

“kiss me.”

“what?” you were taken back.

“kiss me before i change my mind.” and then you didn’t hesitate. you closed the little space that was between you two, landing a soft but stern kiss onto her lips. your hands finding her hips, pulling her closer and her arms found their way around your neck.

a sigh of relief and satisfaction somehow escaped your lips, while a hum escaped hers. her kiss was candy mint, it tastes good and you didn’t wanna stop but unfortunately air became an issue and you reluctantly pulled away, “so does this mean i can take you out?”

“stop asking me out.” she scoots away just in time because the door flew open and in came ethan with bags on bags while anika and mindy came behind with empty hands.

“thanks for the help.” ethan mutters sarcastically.

━━━ part two (coming soon!) take it easy on me, it’s my first time writing in MONTHS.

[yallthemwitches]

The Best Fun

Super silly, short fic for @jilytoberfest Day 6: Food disasters

Because we all know Sirius would be the one to experiment with muggle drugs~ AO3 link here!

“Prongs—don’t be angry.”

Peter stood with his back against the Fat Lady who screamed at him to be unhanded. His arms were outstretched but his face was riddled with absolute fear. 

“Can’t say I love hearing that from you, Wormy.”

If Peter had been sent to ward him off, that meant that the other two marauders must be shit deep in whatever laid beyond the portrait hole. Usually, the prospect of something to spice up his evening would perk his spirits, but tonight was a rare exception. 

He had been forced to do patrols with Chloe Sparrow due to the fact that she had been favoring her fellow Slytherins during her rounds. Although it had been his idea, it didn’t help that it took away precious time patrolling with Lily. Then, as he had come to find out, it also meant the night would be filled with a strange mixture of semi racist remarks and what James could only refer to as a grotesque version of flirting, ending in Chloe being sent back to her dorms before she could smack his arse another time. 

So in short, James’ bullshit threshold was reaching max capacity. 

“So—do you just want to tell me or do I need to pretend to struggle past you…”

Peter started to look visibly sweaty and backed off of the Fat Lady who, now free from her smothering, chirped insults under her breath. 

“Uhm. So before I say anything, you should know Lily wanted to, so—”

“Peter.” 

James was losing patience fast. He had expected the lads to have done something, sure, but Lily was a development he wasn’t ready for. From his tone alone, it all came tumbling out of Peter like a single word.

”Pads made some stuff.” 

“What kind of stuff?”

Peter’s eyes shifted. “Muggle stuff—said something about how that band,The Beagles or whatever, used it to—”

James walked up to his mate who jumped out of the way before he could even attempt to push through. 

Trudging through the portrait hole, Peter kept fast on his feet, babbling excuses like a mosquito hovering to feed.

“Again! She wanted to! Even helped a bit! Moony didn’t stop them!”

A voice drawled out from the center of the common room. “Thanks for ratting me out Wormy.” 

Remus laid reclined on the length of the couch, book in one hand while a cigarette hung from his lips. 

James took stock of the room. The only thing that looked remotely out of place was a tray of what looked like a dessert which had been ravenously attacked. A knife balanced on the baking tray. 

“So where are they?” 

Without any further elaboration Lupin tilted his head towards the fireplace and James took the two steps needed to get enough clearance to see over onto the ground. Lily was curled up in a ball, eyes closed and head resting on the stomach of a giant black dog, both completely asleep.

“Explain.” He used his head boy voice, but Remus only laughed. 

“Sirius thought it would be a scream to make pot brownies—should have seen them about an hour ago—never seen two people hug and dance around so much in my life.”

Peter, who was still standing at the entrance of the portrait hole, pipped up in a quivering voice. “It was quite nice actually—Lily was so affectionate and—”

“And you didn’t call me? Didn’t think that I wanted to come try muggle drug food too?”

James looked down at his sleeping girlfriend who buried her nose into Sirius’ stomach, hands curling around the fur, blissfully unaware that the animal she was laying on could be anything other than a dog. 

“You all knew I’ve always wanted to do this, Moony! Honestly, I’m hurt!”

“Sorry mate, it just happened.”

James crouched down next to Lily’s sleeping form, brushing some of her hair from her face. At his touch, her eyes blinked open, a brilliant glassy green, slightly bloodshot, looked up at him.

“Oh Baby! You’re back!” She lifted up and threw her arms around his neck, nuzzling her nose into his collar. 

“Oh I just love you! Wow, you smell so good!” 

Every word from her mouth sounded breathy and light, like the world was one big cloud with her on it. From behind him, Peter muttered: “See? I quite like her stoned” and Lupin just snorted in response.

“Have you met this dog? I love this dog.” She turned to wrap her arms back around a still sleeping Sirius, but James caught her, pulling her back into him. 

“I have met the dog—that's ok, we can leave him alone now.” James cradled her to his chest and she melted into him, completely forgetting Sirius despite her comment seconds ago.

“I can see you had some fun tonight.” 

She didn’t respond, rather looking up into his eyes before bursting into a laugh, grabbing both sides of his face and smashing their foreheads together. 

“Brilliant fun. The best fun. But not as fun as you. I missed you.”

It was hard to feel upset about that. James scooped under her legs and carried her like a child over to the staircase which led up to the dorms. Laughter tumbled out of her mouth before becoming preoccupied with kissing his neck in quick, frantic pecks. 

“I’m going to get her to bed before she decides she loves someone else—” Lily just squealed, wrapping her hands tighter around his neck in an attempt to get him to kiss her.

“If Sirius wakes up, tell him I’ll give him a running head start in the morning before I beat the shit out of him–.”

Remus didn’t look up from his book, eyebrows raised.

“Awfully kind of you Prongs.”

James started to climb the steps, Lily alternating between laughter and proclamations of love.

“Well–It’s the least I could do to repay him.”

[lilmoony]

Can you please write a kaz brekker x reader fanfic where the reader tries to convince one of the crows to come with her to a fruit market because they have like the best strawberries or something and no one wants to go and Kaz shows up to her room one day and is like let’s go and she gets excited but it turns out Kaz doesn’t like the fruit or hasn’t had it before and the reader is like why did you come then and he just wanted to spend time with them

𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒘𝒃𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔🍓

pairing: kaz brekker & reader – 2k words

plot: when no one wants to go out with you to the fruit market, kaz suggests going with you. turns out it’s not because he likes strawberries, but because he wants to spend time with you.

cw/tw: nothing, fluff at the end, maybe some spelling or grammatical errors (sorry)

word count: ≈2k

You were a member of the Dregs, and particularly of the Crows, for quite a long time now. And since you became a member of the Crows, you barely had any free time. You always had at least something to do and there was always something going on out there; you always had to think about something, above all, security.

But this week was one of those super rare days where you had (almost) nothing to worry about. Well, you always had to worry about something, so let’s say it was one of those days where you had (almost) nothing to do. For this special occasion, and because you never found the time before, you wanted to go to the market. During one of your undercover missions, you saw an old lady selling strawberries at Ketterdam market. Since you were on a mission, you couldn’t just stop to buy these red fruits. Kaz Brekker wouldn’t have allowed one of his Crows to get distracted by strawberries; he probably would have sent you one of his death glares, thinking about how much you were an idiot.

You gave yourself a mission: go to the market to buy strawberries. Yet, you haven't wanted to go there alone. You never really liked walking alone in the streets of Ketterdam, because who knows what could happen? That is why the first step of your mission was to find someone to go to the market with. And with that idea in mind, you came out of your room, a big smile on your face.

Unfortunately, you came back in your room quite quickly because the first step was a total failure. You asked every Crows if they wanted to go with you, but they all came up with a different answer; though they all had one thing in common: it was “no”.

“No, I’m sorry, I have to take care of my precious babies” answered Jesper, cleaning his revolvers.

“I’m keeping Jesper company” answered Wylan, sat next to Jesper with a shy smile on his face.

“Matthias and I are going out; we are getting waffles.” simply said Nina, a big smile on her face. Matthias was smiling to you, arm in arm with Nina.

“I was planning to take a walk” said Inej, but you only heard “I was planning to spy on people.”

There you are, climbing the steps of the Slat separating you with your bedroom. Just as you reach the middle of the stairs, you saw a face you knew too well. It was Kaz Brekker, your annoying boss. The one who always had a lot of different plans in mind: each more dangerous than the last; each more brilliant than the last. He had this neutral and closed expression on his face. He seems quite surprised to see you. Generally, when the Crows didn’t have a mission, there was no one in the Slat except him.

“Y/N,” he simply said while looking at you.

“Hmm, yeah, I guess that’s my name,” you replied to him, a slight smile on your face to hide your stress. The fact that he just said your name and nothing else was stressing you. It was the same effect that when someone says “We need to talk”.

“What are you doing here? Why aren’t you enjoying the sun?” he asked, leaning on his stick, and raising one of his eyebrows.

“Nothing. Just wanted to go buy strawberries with someone but they’re all busy. Guess I’ll stick to reading in my bedroom. I could ask you the same question, even if I think I know the answer.”

You continue to climb the steps to reach its height. At first, he only looks at you without saying anything. Then, you see a slight smile on his face.

“You might have nothing to do today, but I do. I have a meeting with some merchants.” His tone wasn’t even harsh, even if you could think so.

“Oh, well, I’m not bothering you anymore then. Good luck, I guess? But you don’t really need it,” you ended the conversation,

But if you had, you would have seen him following your silhouette until he lost sight of you when you entered your room. Yet, you would have just thought that he was looking at you in the most neutral face. You could have hardly guessed that you weren’t just a colleague, an associate, or even a friend to him.

The next day, since you still weren’t planning to go alone at the market, you had planned to spend the next day in the Crow Club to watch people gamble their money, just like Jesper used to do. Since he no longer hid his Grisha powers, or at least accepted them, he said he no longer needed to play and waste his money. The one he was supposed to go to university with…

Even though it was 9 A.M., you could already feel the sun on your face as you were lying on your bed, eyes closed. You weren’t sleeping, just relaxing a bit before going at the Crow Club since you had trouble sleeping. A knock on your door drew your attention. You didn’t answer directly and got up, opening the door yourself.

You were quite surprised to see the one and only Kaz Brekker in front of you, at 9 A.M.

“Hello Y/N,” simply said Kaz. He had this habit of beginning a conversation by saying a simple sentence consisting of less than five words.

“Hello Kaz,” you replied, confused, as to why he was at your door, “Do you need something in particular?”

He stayed silent for some time, as if he was searching for the words he was going to use in his sentence.

“I’m free this morning. Do you still want to buy those strawberries?”

To say these two sentences surprised you is an understatement. Because Kaz never suggested activities, just plans. It was your turn to stay silent for a moment.

“Hmm… Well- Yes,” you try to put two words together, difficulty. “But like… With you?” You saw a smile appear on his face. Apparently, your question was funny (or dumb) to him.

“No, with the white bunny that I saw across the street.”

A big smile broke out on your face, and you couldn’t help to let out a chuckle. Kaz was offering to accompany you to the fruit market? Who was this person and what did he do to the Kaz Brekker?

“When do we go?”

“Now.”

And that is how you end up in the streets with Kaz. At first, the walk was silent. But it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. You really wanted to know why he wanted to go out with you. And, moreover, to buy strawberries. Because why would Kaz spend time in a fruit market? Seriously. He wouldn’t. Or would he? Maybe he just wanted you to be happy? No, impossible. Maybe he also wanted strawberries? After all, who knows?

“You know… You don’t have to feel obliged to accompany me,” you said, breaking the silence that established itself.

“I don’t feel obliged to.” His sentences were always short but this time, you didn’t know why, you had the feeling that he wanted to say more to you. It’s as if there some words that were left unspoken. “You know I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t want to.” He finished his sentence without looking at you. His voice was low, as if he didn’t want you to hear what he just said. But you did.

“Well, you know, I’m still quite surprised you asked me to accompany me to buy strawberries. I never thought you were the one to like strawberries.” You hear him scoff after your last sentence.

“That is because I don’t like strawberries.”

Well, if you weren’t confused before, you were definitely now. You only looked at him, an eyebrow furrowed. You didn’t have to answer because you were already in front of the fruit’s merchant. The stand was manned by an old lady.

“Oh, hello beautiful lady,”

“Oh, thank you,” you answered shyly, “I could say the same to you Miss,” you replied, a smile on your face, as she laughed at your answer.

“Tell me, what do you two lovebirds need?”

And that was the last straw for you. When hearing this, your eyes opened widely. You began to blush yet tried to concentrate as much as possible so that Kaz couldn’t see how it makes you feel to hear that HE is your boyfriend. Because you sometimes dreamt of it, but you always put that thought out of your head as soon as you woke up. You had come to terms with it: it would never happen.

And that was the last straw for Kaz. When hearing this, he kept a neural face, as if the lady never said anything. But in this mind, oh boy. He couldn’t believe what he just heard. Because he sometimes thought about what he liked in you. He liked how you always smiled to everyone, how you talked about what you liked to do. He adored your repartee, the way you always returned compliments. He loved your smile, your eyes. You.

“He… He is not my boyfriend,” you tried to answer without letting any emotions out. “He’s a friend.”

“Yes, I see… Unfortunately,” answered the old lady while laughing, leaving your speechless. “Anyway, tell me what you need.”

“I’ll – I’ll take a kilo of strawberries, please.”

While the lady prepares the stray of strawberries, you took your courage in both hands and looked at Kaz. Needless to say, he was looking at you for quite a while already. But his face was unreadable.

“There you go, young woman,” the only lady gives you a large stray of strawberries.

“Thank you, a lot, and have a beautiful day,” you greet her finally.

You turned directly towards Kaz, happy.

“Look at them, they seem so tasty,” you exclaimed, but you directly remembered the fact that he didn’t like strawberries. “Wait, you told me you didn’t like strawberries so why did you come with me?”

You take a glance at him, and he looks a lot colder than before. He has a closed face, as if he’s angry. But this is just his usual expression. Or that’s what you think.

“I wanted to get some fresh air, I guess.”

“What you just said is a lie.”

“It is not.”

You can’t help but let out a little laugh. This situation turned out to be ridiculous.

“You can’t lie to me Kaz. You can’t lie to the best liar of Ketterdam. It’s really kind of you – and strange – to go out with me, even more when you don’t like strawberries. Just tell me the truth.”

“I just wanted to spend time with you. Are you satisfied now?” he answered abruptly.

You stopped directly when you heard these words, and he stopped too. But neither of you tries to meet the other’s gaze. There are a lot more questions in your mind than before. And there was already a lot of questions before.

“You…” you paused, searching for your words. “You can’t be serious, huh?”

“And what if I am? You told me to say the truth, here’s the truth.” he answers, his jaw slightly clenched.

“And you couldn’t say that since the beginning? It would have been ten time easier.”

“Don’t be silly, why would I say that?”

“Because I want to spend time with you too. And we could have spent more time together. That’s why.”

You can’t see the smile that makes his way to his face. And this isn’t really a slight smile.

“Good, at least something we think the same about,” and a laugh escapes your mouth while you look at him.

He looks at you too. There is this spark in his eyes, just as there is spark in your eyes.

“Yeah, you’re right. One thing in common, but I’m sure there are a lot more things we have in common. We just have to find.”

“We’ll have plenty of time to find that Y/N.”

“Right. Did you already taste strawberries with fresh cream?”

“Never.”

“Well, let’s get to the Slat and you’ll have to taste that.”

You continue walking back to the Slat, chatting together. The atmosphere was brighter than ever.

[tenjikufag]

hi,, it ifs okay I’d like to be your 🍮 anon! im just wondering if you’d be interested in writing a gojo x male reader? Soft angst to fluff please!

Everything is Temporary.

Gojo Satoru x male reader

-angst (dunno what soft angst is or if this fits), end fluff, no cws

-a/n hello 🍮 anon thank you for the req.

Nothing lasts forever.

Temporary is all there is.

Sure, some things last longer, a class is longer, interactions can be super long, lines can be long, shows, songs, you get it. Things can last awhile

But sometimes lives are longer than others. Just as the others start, another one finishes. Except there’s no clock, no time stamp to see how long you’re here for, how long you have left.

You could only wish that you were fortunate enough to live what was deemed a long life.

But, here you found yourself enrolled in a Jujutsu Society run schooling.. and it’s been all but drilled into your head that things don’t last, not even people.

This occupation that you’d been forced into from birth wasn’t forgiving and was erratic on a good day.

Death announcements were just as common as saying hello to someone in a day.

That’s why it’s so hard to want relationships, to want friendships. But, you could atleast say you *had* friends.

Getou Suguru, although not the most friendly he cared for people.

Shoko Ieiri, blunt and honest. But again, she cared.

And finally

Gojo Satoru.. a loud, criminally annoying smart ass.

He knew he was stronger than everyone, he knew we could only keep up and never beat him. But through this obvious facade of his, you and your friends saw right through him. He wasn’t one to scare for himself, but he worried for you, his friends.

But especially you.

You’d think it would be flattering; but it only came off as condescending and making you feel lesser than the two others in your group..

“I’m just sayin! I’m there to protect ya!”

“I don’t need protecting Satoru! That’s the whole point! Let me go!”

His grip on your uniform was tight, it made your skin feel hot at the close proximity.

Satoru had been trying to stick himself to your hip for this next mission, it was an S Grade. The four of you had been warned immensely beforehand and were told when to retreat if it came to.

Your friend never wanted you to go on these.

He’d never admit that he was deathly afraid of losing you, afraid of watching you die.

“Ugh, I know I can’t stop ya but at-least let me take you out on a date beforehand! Who knows what’s gonna happen!”

There it was. The teasing. The teasing that Gojo had become infamous for.. you never believed a word he said, apparently he says it to everyone so why would it be different for you? Besides, he wasn’t into guys much less you.

“Stop saying shit you don’t mean! It’s rude and makes you look like a jackass!”

Stomping away from him, you didn’t even look back to see the pathetic pout he had..

-

“Yknow Y/n..”

Suguru sat beside you, slouched over his knees and watching the cars pass by

“Satoru doesn’t tease anyone like he does you.. not anymore at least..”

Furrowing your brows, crushed juice box in hand you whipped around to berate your friend

“So he’s got to you now? He doesn’t mean it, I know he doesn’t! Don’t you try-“

“I wouldn’t lie to you, Y/n. Especially not about this stuff..”

You felt deflated, even if it was true.. you couldn’t do it. You couldn’t be in a relationship, not with the life you lived currently.

It was a guarantee that one of you would die, hell you’d be one of the lucky ones to see 25! You’ve had classmates die since you’ve been here, both upper and lower class men!

Why would you entertain it?

Why would you subject yourself to such loss?

“Well, he’s shit outta luck. I don’t even know why I have friends.. my parents told me I shouldn’t have any, they made me promise that I wouldn’t get married aswell..”

“You won’t get married, not that quickly.”

Suguru chuckled, you smacked him upside the head.

“You know what I mean, Suguru.. I don’t think I.. I don’t think I should accept it..”

“So you like him too?”

Your heartbeat picked up, discomfort in the way it made your breathe unstable.. you liked him, didn’t you? A pang in your chest thrummed, guilt for this started festering in your stomach. Why? Why did this have to happen? It was the one rule!

“I’m gonna head back.. make sure to let him down easy..”

Suguru softly smiled at you, clicking his phone closed and stuffing it in his pocket..

—

“You got him admitting it?! Give it! Suguru! Hand it over!”

“Ah! Get off! You’re gonna break my damn phone!”

The two males wrestled to the floor, well more so Satoru tackling his friend down with no real need.. he was gonna get it, he was just impatient.

Phone in hand he sat on his friends back, keeping him down, and pressed play.

The conversation played out, his cheeks heating up at the sound of your voice.. he felt giddy, waiting for the confession.

You confessed you liked him, but then came your rant about friends and relationships.. it broke his heart admittedly but he’s a stubborn guy..

“Hey! Why’d you tell him to let me down easy?! Some friend you are!”

Suguru groaned under the male, shoving him off finally.

“I’m realistic, that’s why. I’m not gonna push him to do something he doesn’t believe in. And you shouldn’t either.”

Satoru chewed his lip, he knew Suguru was right but if the world ended today, he’d want to know that he was yours, and you were his..

“I’m asking him out again. Before the mission!”

Satoru ran out of his dorm, leaving his friend to roll his eyes.. he really hoped it worked out. It was a pain to be the in between because Shoko didn’t like entertaining the two of you.

—

Your mission was a day away. You sat under a tree enjoying the breeze that flowed over your skin and through your hair. This was peace you hadn’t had the opportunity to enjoy in awhile.

And yet again, it was temporary.

The call from your white haired friend cut through the peaceful aura of the area and suddenly the breeze felt like a nuisance- your hair getting in your face and suddenly becoming paranoid of bugs that laid in the dirt.

“Yo! Y/n! I needa talk to you!”

Glancing up, your friend stood above you with a gleaming smile. Sighing, you stood up to follow him to wherever he needed to take you.. but he didn’t take you anywhere but instead held your head between his hands..

“I like you, Y/n.”

It felt like drums were in to ears, your breathe was caught in your throat.. without thinking about it you raised your hand

You slapped him.

He yelped, going to catch your arms before you continued to hit him.

“Don’t say that! Don’t tell me that shit! You know how it makes me feel!”

Anger bubbled over, you screamed at him while thrashing to free your arms.

“Y/n! Calm down! I mean it! With everything I have I mean it!”

You paused, catching your breathe. The way he looked at you made everything hurt, guilt built up again.

“You.. you shouldn’t like me. I can’t.. I can’t be with you.”

“But you can! I promise-“

“You can’t promise anything Satoru! Even if I could be with you, one of us will die and leave the other all alone! It’s not fair, I can’t do that!”

He loosened his grip on you, replacing it with a soft hug. The white hair tickled your ear, feeling him bury his face into your shoulder.

“If you don’t take the chance, how can I say I loved you for my whole life? If I die, how could you say you loved me?”

The ball in your throat kept you from speaking, you felt stiff in his arms.

“I can’t promise forever, I know that.. but I can promise I’ll be there for as long as I can. Just let me try and make it to forever with you..”

He hugged you tighter, telling you of all the sweet, small things he could offer to you if you let him.

“You believe everything is temporary, but I swear I’ll love you for eternity.. please. Give me the chance to show you for as long as I can..”

The breathe you held finally let go, allowing the stiffness in your body melt away- melding your body to his in a tight embrace.

“Okay.. I’ll give it a chance..”

He perked up, moving his face right infront of yours.

“Really?! You’ll be my boyfriend?!”

Your eyebrow twitched.. his cheeky smile on full display

“Is that not just what that was..”

“Cmon!! Ask me! I want it to be official!”

Why is he like this…

“You’re so annoying..

Will you be my-“

His lips smashed onto yours, arms wrapped around your neck. He continued to leave pecks on them, saying ‘yes’ inbetween every single one.

“I’m your boyfriend, you gotta deal with me~ aren’t you so lucky~?”

He sing-songed, bouncing lightly on his toes.

You were taking a chance on this…?

Satoru didn’t wait for you to finish or start saying anything before starting to drag you towards your friends to share the good news.

If temporary took you to end of your life, it wouldn’t be so bad with him and your friends there.. you guessed.

[neonscandal]

Manga with Me: Sad SatoSugu Edition (Because That's Literally the Only Flavor There Is) Pt 2

Because I realized reblogging my initial post to keep the list going was super dumb if I want to keep gratuitously adding to it so... if you've already seen part 2, no you haven't. Especially since I had to add at least one other thing to the mix.

Part 1 | Part 2

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: JJK 0 movie + season 2 though things may get out of chronological order as I just keep thinking in circles.

Buckle up:

How positively fucked it was that Kenjaku knew the ins and outs of Geto’s thoughts about Gojo upon his possession… and knew how Geto was the one thing that could trip Gojo up… but those idiots were completely unaware.

The fact that they were always cast at odds, cursed technique wise, nature vs nurture, attitude, ideology, etc. But they still found the common ground to respect and care for one another.

I kept saying how Geto only loses his cool when harm comes to Gojo but… the crux of it is the fact that Geto is the only person who loses his cool when harm comes to Gojo because no one else could fathom the possibility (until Yuta and Yuji came along). Gojo’s power damns him to be an infallible weapon just as much as it damns Geto to be a casualty.

In fact, Geto thanked him for his hard work during the Star Plasma Vessel mission. As if Gojo had a choice. But still, Geto expressed appreciation for what most everyone else probably took for granted.

How Geto was the one person who truly challenged and undid Gojo’s godlike power all because Gojo cared for him. *insert River Song’s tirade about the Doctor loving a mere human.*

The fact that Riko’s death and their subsequent failure is what catapulted Gojo back into the need to refine and perfect his godlike strength which brought him out of touch with Geto. The isolation which Gojo knew all too well is what destroyed Geto.

Not enough emphasis was given to the fact that Geto was actively spiraling, probably couldn’t bring a spoon to his own mouth BUT STILL WANTED TO TREAT GOJO.

Geto didn’t know the power he held over Gojo or, more likely, he never chose to use it because, if Gojo would just follow him, how would that not be just as bad as the position he was already forced into by the elders? Even so, Gojo was frenzied and showed such elevated emotion when Geto defected, when he confronted him. He was undone.

After Geto, we never have the same level of insight or clarity into Gojo either. So, in addition to no longer being vulnerable to threats, he’s no longer vulnerable to us, the readers, either.

This isn’t strictly a SatoSugu observation but.. the fact that Gojo’s strength damned him to face off against a person he cares most about not once… but twice?

Gojo cultivated a life surrounded by people who he protected, who he guided, who were indebted to him, even, and he still felt like Geto was his one and only, even after everything. Even as his dream came into fruition with his team of strong students, it was all for Geto and all for naught without him.

This face when Geto realizes what we’ve known all along. Gojo’s love was unconditional but unfathomable to Geto. Please, I’m sick about it.

During the events of the JJK 0 movie, after 10 years apart, Gojo could still piece together Geto's plan just as well as Geto could figure out that Gojo sent Panda and Toge into battle to trigger Yuta's power up.

When Gojo retorts that “it’s called trust. People with beliefs like yours won’t kill a young sorcerer without reason.” having been figured out by Geto.

Even so, Geto receives that as personally as Gojo probably meant it, surprised to find that "[he] didn't realize [Gojo] still felt any connection with [him]."

When you consider that, even at the close of his life, couldn't be forthright and honest and simply tell Gojo that he never hated him.

Even when Gojo was the source of his most genuine smiles. Even bloody in an alley, death staring him in the face, claiming to not be able to smile with his whole heart and yet

Points aggressively at the board. 👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾

Stay tuned for when I inevitably circle back to light novels, OP's, EP's and literally anything else that pops into my head as this dynamic continues to haunt me. ✨

[joesheistyy]

Cramps

This is such a common and typical prompt so I’m sorry about that :( I just be cramping so bad today and I could use some Joe hugs <3 plus my creative juices have been all drank up because of classes starting again

——

“Babe, what’s wrong?” Joe soothed you awake, noticing the discomfort on your face.

“Bad cramps,” you were able to spit out from your mostly sleeping state.

“Can I do anything for you?” He asks, pulling you into him. It was about 9am, a normal time for you two to get up.

“Dunno. Hurts too much to think,” you said, nuzzling into his chest. He wrapped both arms around you, rubbing your lower back.

Your cramps used to be horrible. Fainting and vomit inducing bad. After switching off birth control and getting an IUD, they’re a lot better, but still are super painful when they arrive.

Most of the time, Joe is able to tell when your period is coming. Your attitude changes and your energy levels drop. It’s not that he wasn’t expecting this, which he was, he just always felt so bad and wished he could take your pain away.

When your body relaxed a little, Joe unwrapped his arms from around you. “Let’s get you some food baby so we can get you some midol. Sound okay?” He asked, stroking your face. You nodded in response.

Getting up, Joe slipped on his grey sweatpants and headed downstairs to start a small and simple breakfast. You slowly got up to follow him down to the kitchen.

“Y/n, you didn’t have to come down here with me,” Joe says as he watches you sit down on a bar stool at the kitchen island.

“I know, but I don’t really want to wallow in bed all day. Sometimes getting up and moving helps,” you reply, grabbing the glass of water Joe passed you. Of course, it wasn’t helping much this time around.

Joe made you a quick breakfast of 2 frozen waffles and a few strips of bacon. You ate slowly in hopes of not upsetting your stomach. As you ate, Joe grabbed you some midol that you gulped down with the almost empty glass of water.

After finishing your breakfast, you set your plate in the sink and walked toward the couch. You opted to lay down and close your eyes for a bit in hopes that the midol might kick in by the time you wake up.

Joe knew you were uncomfortable and he really truly hated to see you even in the slightest amount of pain. He came over to the couch where you were resting your eyes. He softly lifted your head so he could sit down below it. One of your favorite things was to get to rest your head on Joe’s thick and squishy thighs. There was just something about those thighs…

Joe played with your hair and gave your scalp some small scratches. After a bit, he began to caress your cheek to wake you up softly. Your eyes fluttered open to meet his gorgeous blue eyes. A small smile formed on your lips.

“Has the midol helped any?” He asked, leaning down to lay a kiss on your forehead.

“Slightly, now my body is just tired,” you said, turning to face his stomach.

He stroked at that side of your head now, knowing how much you loved it when you weren’t feeling the best, cramps or not.

“How about a small walk?” He suggested, watching to see how you might react.

“That might be nice even though I’m exhausted. I really hate how tired this shit makes me. It’s so unfair,” you groaned, sitting up to go put on one of Joe’s hoodies and a pair of leggings. His smell always warmed your heart and he knew that any of his hoodies always felt like an extra hug for you.

“Got your shoes on?” Joe called from the kitchen, grabbing for a rain jacket.

“Working on it now Joey,” you responded, standing up to head toward the garage. Joe draped his extra rain jacket along your back and you slid your arms in. A little drizzle never hurt nobody, right?

The garage door opened to the crisp air, causing a small shiver to leave your body. Eventually, it felt great. A slow stroll was just what you needed. Sometimes, Joe had the perfect solutions.

Hand in hand, you and Joe strolled down the street, making small conversation. These types of walks were rejuvenating for your low energy. Especially as a rain loving human, a drizzle was the perfect weather for a stroll.

Approaching the house, Joe asked what else might be helpful for you. “I mean, snuggles and Netflix sound pretty great right about now,” you said as Joe punched in the garage door code.

“Done and done baby, go get comfy and I’ll bring some snacks,” he tapped your ass and watched you head for the couch, knowing that some snuggles would actually help physically and not just emotionally.

Joe approached the couch, grabbing your favorite blanket from the blanket ladder he had build for you. He dropped a small amount of your favorite snacks on the coffee table and cracked open your bottle of water.

You knew to get up so Joe could lay down on your wide-seated couch. As Joe got comfy, you took off his hoodie to reveal one of his large bengals shirts. You didn’t want to get too warm in Joe’s arms, especially if you were comfortable and didn’t feel like moving.

Joe opened his arms and motioned for you to join him. There was absolutely no hesitation there. His legs were spread wide enough for your body to lay, head relaxing on his chest. He spread the blanket over the two of you, nearly perfect the first time around.

“Thanks for taking care of me, Burrow. I’m sorry if I’ve been short and mean with you lately. I really don’t mean to and I really love and appreciate you,” you sighed into his chest.

“Baby, you know I’d do anything for you. I just want you to feel better,” he leaned down to kiss the top of your head.

Getting a show going caused your mind to disconnect from the world and your body to relax on top of Joe’s warm body. Fluttering your eyes shut, you took a short nap on your sweet and caring boyfriend.

——

This is ass I’m so sorry y’all haha I promise I’ll have some more ideas flowing soon!!!

[comfymodeaudio]

Made a little audio drama thing out of a script by the lovely @sexygoddessdawgy where you pretend that Laios is nerding out to you about monsters for five and a half minutes.

Script under cut!

Laois (excited): I never would’ve thought someone would sign up for a lecture of mine! Of course I'd be happy to show you the ropes! Here, take a seat.

(Sounds of a book being open, pages flipping)

Laois: *ahem* Welcome to your first lesson in Cryptozoological Gastronomy! The goal of this lesson is to introduce you to the goal of this course: To understand monsters, inside and out.

Laois: Let’s start with the basics. The cockatrice and basilisk are closely related, but fundamentally different. Can you guess what the biggest difference is?

Audience: …

Laois: Oh, don’t feel bad. It’s not common knowledge. The main difference between the two is the method of attack. Basilisks use a potent toxin, which paralyzes the victim and leaves them vulnerable. Ah, a little history lesson: since both heads have a digestive tract, researchers argued for a long time about which head consumes the prey. Some argue the basilisk uses the two heads and tears the corpse apart. Others think the heads take turns eating.

Laois: But actually! The chicken portion of the body uses its large feet to crush up its prey and make it easier for the chicken body to digest. However(!), they typically only do this when they have chicks to feed. Otherwise, if the prey is small enough, then the snake head swallows the victim whole! Isn't that so cool?

Audience: And what about cockatrices?

Laois: (whispered) Oh, yeah, Cockatrices are super cool, too. (normal volume, still excited) They can completely turn their victims to stone. For a long time, nobody knew what was done to the petrified prey. What we know now is that the petrification magic takes a long time to wear off by itself, relative to the victim's natural magical ability. What we didn't find out until recently is that if a piece of the body breaks, the petrification on the severed limb is dispelled, and it will turn back to flesh.

Laois: So, like basilisks, the cockatrice feeds by immobilizing its prey and then using its feet to break up the body. Once the petrification fades from the critter-pebbles, the two heads take turns feeding. However, unlike the basilisk, the larger cockatrice has to keep both its bellies fed simultaneously, so they prey on larger species. I've heard they will scavenge, as well.

However, an important thing that they have in common is that they’re really hard to confuse. It’s a common trait among polycephalous monsters.

Audience: How do they not get confused?

Laois: There's a lot of theories about how monsters with multiple heads don't get confused. I think they're communicating somehow, maybe by causing different sensations in the shared body or some other nonverbal way of communicating. It's also possible that the snake head gives commands to the rooster head and body. The snake is the brains, the chicken is the brawn, do you understand?

Audience: Not the other way around?

Laois: Research was done to figure out which head is predominant.  Cut off the chicken head, both the basilisk and cockatrice continued to move around without much issue.  Cut off the snake head, the basilisk runs around and eventually begins to lose interest in hunting its own prey. In fact, without the snake head, a Basilisk can survive only on millet and grains.  Meanwhile, in cockatrices, if you cut off the snake head first, the chicken half keeps hunting, but with a way lower success rate.  That’s why I think the snake is the brains.  Also, the snake has a heat-sensing pit organ, which makes escaping either monster much more difficult.

Oh, but if you manage to hunt one, the meat is so tender and juicy!

Audience: How do you cook them?

Laois: I’ve only had basilisk so far, and I wasn’t the one to cook it, so I’ll tell you what my mentor Senshi did.  Back then, he didn’t cook the snake part, I think because he didn’t have everything needed for preparing it.

Audience: Have you eaten snake before?

Laois: I did eat snake once, back when I was a curious kid.  If I remember right, you can eat snakes even if they have venom or poison, so long as you prepare and cook them right.  Cut off the head, remove the skin, take out the guts and skeleton, cut it into parts, then fry it.  You can probably do the same to basilisk or cockatrice if you have the right tools.

Laois: For the chicken half, it’s not as difficult as you might think!  After cutting off its head and the crop–sorry, that’s where food is stored before digestion for a lot of birds–you have to hang it to drain, then scald the body.  Put it in hot water and move the body around.  It’ll make plucking the feathers off the body way easier.  Then, remove the organs and skeleton.  Then, you rub in spices to your liking.  Senshi recommended letting it sit overnight to let the flavors marry really well.  After the spices, Senshi stuffed the basilisk with herbs and root vegetables to help an injured adventurer, but you can stuff chicken with lots of different ingredients.  Finally, you roast it, either over an open flame, or in a seasoned pot with a splash of water. Either method will give you a crisp, salty skin, with a tender and juicy bite. If I were to compare it to something… it has the rich flavor of roasted chicken breast, with the texture of smoked pork loin.  Sounds delicious, doesn’t it?

Anyway, I think that’s enough for the first lesson. For your next lesson, we’ll work on obtaining this information from monsters ourselves through careful observation and experimentation.

[livingproofoftbd]

Write dnf cooking together perhaps

thank you dougie 😞 have some drabble

-

Despite what some people seem to think, the three of them eat home cooked meals nearly every day. Sure, sometimes they go out to eat or order in, but that’s not a super common occurrence. They prefer making their own burgers than ordering them, but when George starts demanding things like dumpling, that’s when they order in.

“Dream,” George whines. Dream’s pillow hits him in the face.

“George!” Dream exclaims, flinching in his seat. He flips his headphones off, eyes narrowed. “What?”

George frowns. “I’ve called your name, like, three times.“

“Oh, sorry,“ Dream says, pushing away from his computer. “What do you need?”

“I’m hungry,” George complains.

Dream gives him a look. “And you had to distract me from this?” he asks. “I’m almost done.”

“Which means you have time to make me food,“ George says as he pushes himself off the bed. “C’mon.“

Dream, of course, follows easily. He doesn’t even turn off his computer, simply walks out of the room as George does. Like always.

“We need stuff,” George says, rooting through their cupboards.

“We have plenty of stuff,” Dream argues. “What so you want to make that we don’t have ingredients for?” He peers over George’s shoulder into the cupboards filled with spice.

“Sushi,“ George says plainly. “I saw a tiktok, it doesn’t look that hard.”

Dream looked at him in slight disbelief. “George, you realize you need prepared fish for that, right?” he asks. “That’s not something either of us knows how to do.”

“You realize we don’t need to add fish, right?” George retaliates, closing the cupboards.

“Idiot,” Dream says, smiling. “You hate vegan sushi, you tried it once and spat it out.”

George slaps Dream in the arm. “Shut up,” he grumbles, pushing past him. “I found a store that sells prepared fish specifically for sushi, so I’ll send you the address.”

Dream turns, frowning. “Um, who said I’m going?”

“I did,“ George says, finding Dream’s car keys. “You wouldn’t deny me sushi, would you?” He pouts as he steps close enough to press the keys in Dream’s awaiting palm.

“I could just order sushi,” Dream says, but he’s already walking towards the garage.

“I thought you loved me,” George says sadly.

Dream glares at him. “Idiot,” he says warmly.

He ends up getting George to come along, and they spend over an hour finding the ingredients and other snacks George likes. Dream buys him apples and apple juice and some chips he likes—“crisps, Dream.” They get some for Sapnap too, so he doesn’t bitch about it and try to steal George’s snacks.

“So how do we even make sushi?” Dream asks.

“Let me find the video,” George says, pulling out his phone. “Give me a sec.”

Dream unloads the bags as George searches for the video, pulling out sushi rice and prepared fish and seaweed sheets and other various ingredients they bought. George makes a small triumphant noise as Dream is putting away the apple juice.

“Look look look.” George shows Dream the video. It looks easy enough, but Dream figures the quality won’t be nearly as good as the sushi made professionally. Still, they started making it. George decided he would do the easiest part and make the rice, and Dream didn’t argue. Because he never does.

They lay the seaweed flat on a fancy sushi roller, put down cooled rice, and place strips of fish down. Their first attempt at rolling it is laughable, and their second isn’t much better.

“Dream, this is so ugly,“ George complains. “How do we even cut it?“

Dream is giggling too hard to respond as he tries to place the terribly rolled sushi on a plate to cut it. “This is gonna be so bad,” he says, high pitched through his laughter. “George, what-“

He suddenly doubles over laughing, leaning on the edge of the counter. Georg starts laughing with him, leaning over to try and cut it. “Dream!” he shrieks. “It’s falling apart! Help!”

Dream stands up to see a very failed attempt at cutting it. The part that George cut off looks diseased and the whole thing is falling apart. “George!” he exclaims. “What the hell?”

They manage to salvage it enough to cut it, and they cheers with their hands clutching the sushi carefully. “Good luck,” George says, and Dream giggles before he eats it. And, surprisingly, it tastes great.

“Look at us go,” Dream says, smiling.

“I’m having another,” George decides. “This is insane, Dream.”

They make some for Sapnap before eating the rest, and then George just starts eating the rice and fish straight from the pot. Dream shakes his head fondly as he walks upstairs to deliver Sapnap his dinner.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for rearranging my brother’s groceries?

I (22M) am a senior in college, and my brother (18M) is a freshman at the same college. I’ll call my brother “Drew.” We’re living together in an apartment close to campus.

Drew and I have never been super close, since we don’t have a lot of interests in common, but we got along pretty well until now. Our parents thought him moving in with me would help him get settled, and I agreed. However, it seems that while Drew has been enjoying his newfound independence from our parents, he’s forgotten that he’s still sharing a living space.

I’ve been living away from my parents for the past two years now, and when I did live with them my room was down the hall from Drew’s so I didn’t hear him much unless our doors were both open. However, at our apartment we share a wall that’s way too thin, so I can hear him talking on the phone. He’s always been into gaming which I never had a problem with, but nearly every night he’s up till 2 or 3am chatting with his online friends. I think it’s great that he has these people, but I have morning classes and need to go to bed by midnight. Drew’s classes don’t start until the afternoon.

Before anyone says to just communicate, I have. I told him that the sound is bothering me and asked if he can try to keep it down after midnight. He kind of brushed me off and quieted down for a few nights, then went right back to normal. I asked my parents to talk to him but they said that this is up to us to figure out. I’ve tried earplugs, white noise, etc and none of it has helped. After our second chat didn’t go anywhere, I decided I would have to do something else.

My first thought was to eat breakfast loudly, but Drew is a very heavy sleeper so this had no impact. I thought about unplugging the router when I go to bed, but figured he would just turn it right back on again. Finally, I came to a solution.

For many years, Drew has always had the same breakfast of eggs and toast. He always eats his eggs in a very specific order from the carton. I decided that for every night he keeps me up late, I will start rearranging his eggs in the carton. The first day I did this he didn’t notice, since he was already running late for class. The next day, however, he texted me very angrily. I told him that until he stopped keeping me up late, I’m going to keep moving his eggs. I kept this up for a week before he started hiding his eggs further into the fridge.

At this point, I decided to escalate a little. Along with moving the eggs around, I started swapping the positions of his bottles and cans one at a time. Still no progress, and the tension in our place was getting more and more intense every day. I even started rearranging the slices of his bread when finally he blew up on me. He told me that having to hunt down his groceries in the fridge every day was making him extremely stressed and interfering with his classes. I replied that not being able to sleep was stressing me out as well. He told me that since a lot of his friends are in other time zones, super late at night is the only time the can talk. At that point I had to go to work and I got a text later from our mom asking me to please try to be more understanding. I don’t feel like I’m an asshole since I already tried to communicate clearly, but what do you guys think?

TL;DR Brother keeping me up past my bedtime, tried to talk to him normally, he didn't listen, so I'm rearranging his groceries as revenge

What are these acronyms?

[austinslounge]

The PR girl is back.

I feel like we are not getting any screenshots or the pic anytime soon, so I’m just going to share my perception of everything we got so far. I don’t think the pic with Austin is that important, because I believe that sighting, but the fact that the anon said that the pic disappeared is so strange, I don’t know what to even think of it. Again, analyzing the recycled information and trying to make sense of it is pointless. This alleged conversation went from Austin➡️that girl ➡️DM chat➡️the anons➡️this blog. Who knows where the facts may have gotten mixed up and the broken phone game began. So, judging by the information provided by anons, they talked about:

1. Celebrity stuff

2. The Gerbers telling him to just live his life and don’t mind people’s opinion

3. His projects

4. Spiritual stuff

5. Kaia filming

So what can we make out of this? Nothing. It’s literally just a friendly chat with a fan, that’s all. Also, we don’t know this girl. They could have easily just talked for 5 minutes, but she exaggerated the meaning of this conversation. But anyway, let’s look closely at everything they discussed.

First, the celebrity stuff. Typical topic for the conversation. Nothing extraordinary.

Second, the Gerbers. I actually think that they might have been brought up during the discussion of the celebrity stuff, because the Gerbers get bashed in the media all the time and this advice sounds like something they could have given Austin. Again, just because Austin mentioned it to the fan, it doesn’t prove anything. It just means that sometime, maybe it was a week ago, maybe it was 2 years ago, the Gerbers gave him that advice. We also don’t know if it was brought up in regard to Kaia or not. As you know, I’m a big supporter of the PR relationship theory and if they are in one, it still doesn’t mean that Austin never communicates with the Gerbers or just discusses strictly work-related stuff with them. I bet they had many ordinary conversations over three years.

Third, his projects. Nothing to discuss here. It’s something many fans would like to ask Austin if they met him.

Then, spiritual stuff. Also typical. This is actually something that many people talk to strangers about, because sometimes it's easier to open up to strangers and it’s pretty common when small talk turns into something deeper.

And the last, Kaia. I don’t want to shade anyone, but it feels like that girl probably tried to make Kaia come up in the conversation, because I doubt that Austin would start talking about her with a stranger himself. If we throw the PR theory out of the window and look at Kaustin as a genuine couple, then we can see that Austin, super protective and loving person with Vanessa, loves his new woman so much, that he lets her walk on the outer side of the road and won’t mind her getting hit by a car. So, anyway, even though it’s pretty common to open up to strangers, we have to keep in mind that Austin is not a random dude from the street, he’s a celebrity. He has to be careful with what he says and who he talks to. He didn’t say that they are broken up or on the rocks, he said that she’s filming…I mean, what else was he supposed to say? “Yeah, we broke up months ago actually”? Or “you know, things are going bad”? Or “we are in a mutual agreement, look, here’s the PR contract”? He knew he was talking to the fan, it’s obvious that if he said anything bad about Kaia, she could post somewhere about it(that’s exactly what she did btw). I imagine that when Kaia was brought up, he just quickly said “she’s filming” and they kept talking about the spiritual stuff. This man never wants to talk about her, I doubt that he would make an exception for the fan. Also, him saying that she’s busy filming is a certified People.com break up reason. This makes me believe that he indeed just answered quickly and wanted to change the subject, because this “busy filming” excuse is common knowledge and it’s not personal at all. It’s not debunking or confirming anything, he just said the most obvious thing to shut down the topic. Austin won’t discuss his personal life with strangers, being a celebrity I doubt he is even allowed to do it anyway. If they wanted to shut down breakup rumors, they would. It’s very easy, just send an article to TMZ and the discussion is over.

Like I said, it’s just a simple fan encounter, nothing more. Austin doesn’t owe her an explanation of his relationship status and he certainly won’t gossip about his relationship with a stranger.

By the way, I won’t criticize that girl for sharing her encounter with Austin, as she didn’t say anything too personal about him or something. HOWEVER, I will criticize her for sharing it with the DM chat out of all other options. Sharing it with DM automatically decreases the validity of her words. I don’t really want to speculate, but while thinking about this encounter, I had a very nasty feeling, that maybe she really met Austin, but made up the conversation for clout or just to spread gossip. I know that the anons said she was very nice, but polite/nice≠genuine. It just means that the person is polite, not everyone has to talk like a rapid dog(like most shippers do). I know, I said that I tend to believe stories that have a lot of details to them, but not really in DM’s case. When people talked about Austin drinking Corona on Kaia’s story, it was not on DM. DM spread detailed stories about Austin in the past that turned out to be total garbage(for instance, the blond girl at the bar, Austin proposing to Kaia in April 2023). So, yeah, that girl going to DM specifically left a bitter taste in my mouth. Overall, her story is quite wholesome, if you want to share it, why don’t use TikTok or X? Why DM private chat? Maybe because people on DM believe everything and don’t question your words much?

Either way, the key point is that we won’t find out their relationship status from a random girl on the plane. And I talked about it previously, and I’ll say it again, I don’t expect the official breakup to happen this year, I’d aim for 2025.

This is probably going to be my longest ask yet, but while I was thinking about this encounter, I remembered some other weird unrelated Kaustin things I wanted to discuss.

First, I want to talk about Deuxmoi in general. If we allow the possibility that celebrities’ teams can send articles to trashy tabloids like DM and L&S, why can’t they send some stuff to Deuxmoi too? I think that it’s safe to assume that the Daily Mail article is legit, as Austin himself acknowledged it. (Off topic, but I find it absolutely hilarious that Austin follows DM that called him Austin Barnes, but doesn’t follow his girlfriend’s father). I’m still hot and cold with the L&S articles though. I mentioned in my other asks that they were spot on with some things, but I can’t ignore that there is also strange stuff in their articles and some things don’t match up, but maybe I’ll talk about it later. So, the girls that founded Deuxmoi are not nobodies from the street. At least one of them, Meggie Kempner, is somehow connected to the industry through her grandparents. At first, it may have started as silly gossip/fashion blog, but now it’s basically an independent tabloid. Deuxmoi is very big, so it is somewhat logical for PR teams to work with them occasionally. The first thing that comes to mind are those “absolutely candid not staged at all” pap pic of Austin/Kaia/Camilla/Cole double date in July. It’s interesting that Deuxmoi got these pics exclusively, especially since typically they have either real poorly taken candid photos or they just don’t have photos at all. What I’m not saying that the girl from the chat is someone from Kaia’s PR team, of course not. I just want to say that we all should treat DM as a tabloid, which is even less credible than Daily Mail or L&S, at least randoms can’t send them articles(I hope so).

Okay, the next thing I’m going to talk about is a hot one. I may be an absolute minority in this, because I’ve never seen anyone discuss it. I don’t think that what the article says(no matter from what tabloid, People, TMZ, DM etc) is as important, as what the purpose of the article is. For instance, when People reports celebrity breakups, the main purpose is to officially announce the breakup. But if we read the article, we can see that the reason for the breakup is always busy schedules/long distance/growing apart etc. These are typical excuses that breakup articles use. Most likely, the reason for the 90% of breakups is something else. So, we can see that the purpose of the article has been achieved, but the content of the story is not necessarily completely true. I think that the Daily Mail article is somehow similar. Like, this article has a purpose, whether it’s to keep the breakup rumors going, or to make the Gerbers or Austin look bad, we will find out soon, but the content of the article is questionable to say the least. What marriage? What settling down? Hello, your daughter is 23. I doubt they even want Kaia to marry Austin. It seems like the Gerbers treat him as a suitable partner for her for now, while her career is establishing. I think they would want her to marry some millionaire businessman, someone similar to Rande. (And if we consider the PR theory, then every article about Kaustin is just total bullshit lol).

I also want to draw some parallels between Kaustin and some Kaia’s friends’ relationships. First, Charlotte Lawrence, the “best kisser”. They are both models, but while Kaia is inserting herself into acting, Charlotte is inserting herself into music. Kaia dates actors, Charlotte dates musicians and music producers. Allegedly, Charlotte even said on one of her podcasts that she’s in an open relationship with her boyfriend Andrew Watt(I don’t know if they are still dating though) and hooks up with girls. Do whatever you want with this information☺️. (Allegedly it was on the podcast with Rachel Bilson, I haven’t watched it myself, but I saw people talk about it on Reddit, so feel free to watch it and prove me wrong if anything). Andrew is a producer and allegedly produced some of her songs. Then, Camilla Morrone and Leo. There have been rumors going on for ages that all of his relationships are showmances. Switching to more age-appropriate Cole Bennet is a very drastic change. Was it obvious from the start that Leo and Camilla wouldn’t last? Yes, it was. How long have they been together? For no less than 5 years.

So, in conclusion, if the couple seems weird or gives PR vibes from the start, it’s safe to assume that they won’t last or are indeed PR. Examples: Pete Davidson and well, anybody; Harry Styles and anybody; Tom Cruise and anybody; Taylor Swift and anybody; (I’m dying to add Kaia Gerber and anybody); Jared Leto and Cameron Diaz; Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, and many many many more. The only exception is probably Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra, they are weird as hell, but they are married and have a baby, so I guess they really are going strong, unlike someone else lol. Kaustin looks like a generated Hollywood couple through a randomizer.

XOXO, this is my tea for today☕️

PR Giiiirrrrllll.... You are dropping some hot tea 🍵 in here! Lol 😆

First of all, I just have to say that you had me dying laughing with these comments:

If we throw the PR theory out of the window and look at Kaustin as a genuine couple, then we can see that Austin, super protective and loving person with Vanessa, loves his new woman so much, that he lets her walk on the outer side of the road and won’t mind her getting hit by a car. So, anyway...

🤣

He didn’t say that they are broken up or on the rocks, he said that she’s filming…I mean, what else was he supposed to say? “Yeah, we broke up months ago actually”? Or “you know, things are going bad”? Or “we are in a mutual agreement, look, here’s the PR contract”?

😅

Okay, back to business --

I agree with a lot of what you mentioned. Great questions to ask. I also agree with everything you mentioned about DeuxMoi. DeuxMoi is basically a tabloid just like DM. You have to take those articles and claims with a grain of salt. I've known of plenty of things mentioned on DM about other celebrities that couldn't be more false. Some celebrities have even threatened to sue. I believe Taylor Swift was one of them. 👀

So, basically, we all just need to take all of these media outlets (even some of the reputable ones) with a huge grain of salt. Like you said, even for breakup announcements, most reputable sources, like People.com, aren't usually going to spill all of the nitty-gritty details on why a couple broke up. Their teams will put out a very nice, amicable statement to the press. Just like how you don't go into a job interview telling your be prospective employer all of the REAL reasons why you left your old job (i.e. your boss was a jerk, they weren't giving you a raise, you hated the management style, you had to do the work of 3 people and felt burnt out, etc.), you make something up that sounds much better rofl 🤣

By the way, I won’t criticize that girl for sharing her encounter with Austin, as she didn’t say anything too personal about him or something. HOWEVER, I will criticize her for sharing it with the DM chat out of all other options. Sharing it with DM automatically decreases the validity of her words.

I agree. Something about that doesn't sit well with me. 🥴

I don’t really want to speculate, but while thinking about this encounter, I had a very nasty feeling, that maybe she really met Austin, but made up the conversation for clout or just to spread gossip. I know that the anons said she was very nice, but polite/nice≠genuine.

This part in bold is so true!

Wrt everything, I would hate to think that someone just made up a whole fake conversation (or aspects of it) just for clout or attention. What world are we living in where people do stuff like that? But it isn't like this hasn't happened before. 😕

That info about Charlotte is ummm... very interesting. 👀

So, she'd rather hook up with girls, but still wants a boyfriend. Okaaaay 🤔 Back in the day they used to call that cheating, but okay. It's their relationship, not mine. I just know that I personally couldn't be in an "open" relationship like that.

Kaia and Charlotte are close too. Interesting. 👀

Anyway, this whole Kaustin thing is a hot mess imo lol.

We're going to need a healing and a cleansing after it's all done. 😩

[artycomicfangirl]

Do you have some headcanons of Daisy's and Luigi's love languages they display in the relationship?

Oh man, you know what? You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for an ask like this since…well, Ever! I LOVE these kind of things! I had to do a quick research to brush up on what Love Languages are again. So I took inspiration from some templates I found online. Sprinkled in with a little bit of the Movie-Verse Headcanons.

I guess this is a potential Part 1 of Luaisy headcanons? All because I’m unfortunately not able to list them all as of now!

But, Here we go! Hope you enjoy. Sorry if this ends up being a super long one though, haha.

- Acts of Service -

💚 Luigi would be more than happy and willing to tend to any Plumbing relate problems Daisy has. This is one of the only few times where even if he doesn’t even know the full situation of the problem, he never says no to her needing help, and dives head first without hesitation…

• Even if it means literally diving into that now rising flooding castle basement of hers, just to locate and fix that pesky broken pipe system!

🌼 💚 Cooking for each other. Unlike when I think Peach lovingly does most, if not all of the cooking for Mario. Cooking seems to become a thing divided equally between Luigi and Daisy.

• Luigi is known to be the best at Dinners. Some of his experience gained from helping his Mama back in Brooklyn growing up. And helping Mario cook too. One of his favorite meals he always loves to share with Daisy on occasion, is his mother’s classic Pasta recipes!

🌼 Plumbing can be real exhausting work sometimes! So Daisy is usually the one to fix up some either some real ice-cool drinks to personably bring to him in sweltering heat. Or Make him some hot cocoa or coffee for the really cold days. She’ll even bring some snacks, or even lunch if it’s almost time for a break.

🌼 Whenever she can be there, Daisy would always sit around and keep Luigi company while he worked. Also for the fact so she can pass him tools that he might need during work. Or even better, hold the fort as best as she can to prevent little mishaps that may occur. Need someone to hit a pipe to get it working? Need an extra set of strength to turn that creaky faucet? Trust Daisy to help out too!

- Physical Touch -

💚 Luigi is so, so, SO gentle with Daisy. Not in a way where he believes that she is perceived to be ‘Delicate’. He has faith that she can handle herself of course! But that’s just simply in his nature with everyone else too. Very little to no aggressive or intimidating body language. And with her? It’s just extra sweet.

• He knows she’s strong. But he can’t help but be the one to look out for her and be worried for her sometimes. When he sees her all scuffed up from fights, he offers to bring her water, ointment, bandages, whatever she requests. At first he allows her to try and heal herself. But If Daisy needs more help, he would step in to help tend to her wounds as much as possible.

💚 Luigi was is the most nervous and hesitant in initiating any form of touch at first. He didn’t want to make the wrong moves or anything! But upon the first hug and some vocal encouragement, it was a sign for him that he is on the right track.

He slowly gets more confident in holding hands with her, having an arm around her waist (Although, he can’t help but melt a little at the fact that he could be THIS close to someone he loves!)

💚 Kisses on his nose get’s him all smiley right away! Daisy ends up doing these out of surprise, and it just gets him so much. Kiss him on the cheek? Instantly giddy. She kisses him on the lips? Immediate knockout. He’s giving the Heart-eyes vibe. This is Something he shares in common with his bro too!

💚 When Luigi sees Daisy on the verge of lashing out at someone. He’s the first to quietly take her hand in his to gently squeeze it. This either gets her to look at him, which he gives a nod and look of reassurance for her to think things through. Or it’s almost like an instant touch that needs no words nor looks. But it has an instant affect on her. She rarely gets directly angry at him ever. How can she be mad at someone just so sweet to her? She knows he genuinely wants to help her.

• Sometimes he chooses to gently rub her hands instead. Also an equally effective calming effect.

💚 If Daisy ever feels down or at her worst, he more than welcomes her with open arms, and does not ever judge her for crying (something she rarely ever shows in public. Always putting a strong face.) It matters very little to him in the moment that his hat or clothes would be tear-soaked.

💚 Speaking on the note of a Sad Daisy. There are a few trigger moments which if you end up hurting Daisy, can make this sweet and timid Greed Plumber, decide that enough is enough. There is a reason why his Trope is known as a ‘Cowardly Lion’!

💚 He will try to place himself in front of her always. Whether it is him jumping in front of her to take whatever brunt of force was directed at her without thinking. Or steeling himself up to give stare down (albeit with quaking knees) in front of his enemy.

He starts of with a slight quiver in his voice. But if you continue to mock him or her a second time, the shakiness in his tone fades. Becoming a bit more determined. A quiet strength. At that point, he will not allow you to push him around and insult Daisy like that. Even if he might get knocked around a bit, he keeps getting back up, just to stand up for her.

💚 He’ll even try to use his hat at some points if he needs to cover her face more for protection.

💚 For some reason I feel like instead of usually carrying a Princess Bridal-style like Mario does. Luigi tends to carry Daisy on his back more. This often leads to escaping from some very comical situations!

🌼 Daisy is DEFINITELY the one who is not shy in expressing her affections naturally. But also really straightforward in her actions.

🌼 Ever experienced one of those surprise Run-at-top-speed Jump hugs? That’s Daisy for you! She often forgets to tone herself down sometimes.

🌼 Pulling him by the suspenders of his overalls gently just to kiss him.

🌼 She’s the one ending up carrying him like a bride instead HA

🌼 Like Luigi, Daisy is always one to step in front of her beloved to shield them from any potential danger. She is usually the one to Yank him out of the way with top speed (Apologizing immediately to him afterwards!) and pull him close to her body to try and cover and protect him as much as possible.

🌼 You would not be able to live it down if Daisy sees you harming or insulting Luigi. She is super quick on to you, ready to throw hands (And weapons, if in a fight)

🌼 She and Mario share the same kind of sentiments when it comes to standing up for Luigi.

“Say that again about my Boyfriend…And you’re gonna regret it!”

- Words of Affirmation -

🌼 Daisy is the one with the vast supply of pet names and complements!

🌼 The Iconic “Hey Sweetie!”

🌼 Buttercup, Honey-Bee, Weegie, Squeegie ect

🌼 If you don’t stop her, she may resort to floral Puns!

🌼 When it comes to support, she is like a really passionate cheerleader. You would definitely see her yelling her heart out at the sidelines of any event/competition/Kart race

🌼 When she writes notes or letters, Daisy tends to be the one who draws little doodles at the end of each letter, or just as little decorations here and there. Mario may or may not have accidentally revealed that he had caught Luigi chuckling at a letter he received from Daisy. Only to be told by his younger Bro that he found her drawings adorable and it made him smile. So she’s been doing that ever since!

💚 Luigi is a bit more reserved with this type of thing. But in fact, he is secretly the more poetic one! Surprisingly The type who’s words of love end up being a natural Cupid’s arrow.

💚 I see ‘Desert Flower’ as a popular head canon compliment he might say, and I also agree with that!

💚 Why do I feel like he would totally be the one to call her “My Dynamite Gal”??? When he’s mustered up so much confidence??

• Because Luigi is known to be more shy and timid, he does have more struggles with confidence in some parts. Leading to this possible little interaction:

—————————————————

💚 “ Face it…How can I even do this? I’m such a loser! I mean, look! I literally got a huge L on my head!”

🌼 “…Does It really have to mean Loser?”

💚 “H-huh? I-I…well what else can it be?”

🌼 “Well…put it this way. You’re kinda like a Clover!”

💚 “A…Clover?”

🌼 “Yeah! You ward off evil. You’re green all over. So How about…Lucky?”

—————————————————

- Quality Time -

💚 Luigi ends up loving taking strolls around the castle with Daisy. Whether it is in the Palace Gardens, or by lakes and rivers. Even Flower fields, where he’ll even attentively listen to her pointing out the new things.

💚 Luigi May end up getting challenged when he goes out on hiking trips with Daisy. The first few trips, he ends up faltering behind a little (He has bad knees everyone!), But Daisy would often slow her pace down a little so he can keep up. She doesn’t mind one bit. But overtime, he pushes to improve himself, in which he now is actually able to keep up by her side. She’s extremely proud of him

💚🌼 The Camping trips together are always fun though! Well, excluding some Minor scares and freak outs from the local wildlife at night. Luigi Teaching Daisy the classic treat of making a S’more. While Daisy would do something shared from her own land sometimes!

🌼 Daisy loves whenever she and Luigi get to go on one of their ‘Sports dates’, and is usually the one initiating these meetups (Knows all the good places!) while Luigi throws in suggestions. Usually consisting of Golfing especially. She is more knowledgeable in the technique, which she ends up teaching Luigi what she already knows. She likes to jokingly say that he’s “Learning from the best!”

🌼 If they end up moving in together and sharing the same bed, Daisy would be the type to wake up a bit earlier than Luigi does. Then goes back again to get some extra sleep hours. She has this little habit where she can’t help but give a little kiss on his cheek by then. If he continues to sleep, she lets him be. But if he ends up wanting to be woken up by this, she starts to go in for more kisses. Some of them are quick ticklish to him!

All until she’s gazing back at sleepy half-open eyes, A lopsided smile, and a very happy green Plumber who’s morning has just been made even better!

💚 On Luigi’s part, he’s the one who sleeps the last. Letting Daisy sleep first before him, as he sometimes has a bit of work he needs to attend to. Or just simply reading a few pages of his favourite book beside her.

• When he notices a lock of her hair astray on her face, he ends up brushing it aside for her. In that moment, he seriously cannot believe that this beautiful fiery woman is his beloved, and is right next to him.

- Receiving Gifts -

💚 It is a popular head canon going around that Daisy is very into gardening. So, Luigi would even go out of his way to brush up on said topics about Gardening and nature just for Daisy. Same thing that he would do when it comes to her other interests, just so he knows what to get her!

💚 He has really great callback memory, in which he is able to remember most of the conversations he would have with Daisy when she talks about various plants. Including seeds and flora she wishes she could obtain to grow in her castle Garden. So! Every often, he would visit the local markets or shops in the town, where he would check up all the latest imports/exports to see if he can find some uncommon, or even rare seeds for him to collect for her. If it’s something from Brooklyn, he most likely tries to buy seeds of flowers for her smaller pot plants!

If he goes on adventures with Mario, he does something similar where he collects various trinkets or souvenirs for him to take home for her, or send to her by mail.

🌼 Daisy is definitely more extravagant, and a bit more ‘flashy’ when it comes to gift giving. She does not do this to show off. She 100% fully believes that her believed deserves the best he can get…Even if it ends up giving him the biggest of blushes. And just so happens she can’t stop gushing about it either in her own way!

🌼 Actually at first, she might have been giving him ‘Weird’ gifts for the first few times when they became a couple. They’re not offensive gifts! But they were a result of her having misunderstood some of his hobbies and likes at the beginning. But never in bad faith, as she genuinely tried to guess what would make Luigi happy. But luckily with help from Peach and Mario, she got good results. And long the way, she started getting better at gift-giving.

🌼 I mean, have you seen that Golden statue of her and Luigi in her own Mario Kart Course? If she was the one who commissioned that, she would totally go THAT far.

🌼 She would go on a secret calling spree, prepare a huge birthday with all of his favorite foods, invite literally all of his friends and family as a complete surprise. Making the Green man crying out of happiness.

🌼 Well, not exactly a traditional kind of gift. But just for him, Daisy would end up wearing cute dresses or other outfits. Something he likes. But that’s because we all can’t deny, Daisy is still Daisy. She still loves to tease Luigi one way or another.

Green Bro may have been staring a little too long, as the Princess walks by in a tank-top and shorts combo!

[megalopolus]

I'd be so curious to hear more about your interpretation of Leshawna,,, like what's her hobbies. what do you think she does post canon. hell what's ur favorite friendship/interaction she's involved in

ohhhh omg dude leshawna’s like my second fave character after courtney ilhsm 😭😭 sorry this was so late it ended up sitting in my drafts for like a week 💔

let’s see…some headcanons.

a lot of my interpretation of leshawna is based around my headcanon that she grew up in a very female-dominated household. i think her parents separated when she was very young (she and gwen have this in common) and she and her mom moved in with her mom’s sister (leshaniqua’s mom). her mom was dealing with a lot and kinda became a little cold and distant, so leshawna’s closer to her aunt and cousin than her mom. not that there isn’t a lot of love anyway, but her mom was never quite the same after that. she didn’t get to see her dad much as a kid because he ended up moving to a different province, but he made sure she knew she was loved when he did see her. leshaniqua’s dad passed from a terminal illness, so it’s the sisters and their kids living together.

as a result though leshawna is actually a very private person and her circle of trust is rather small, despite how sociable and outgoing she is. she’s very close with leshaniqua and would often go to her for advice when needed, but sometimes she’d speak with her aunt as well. she feels the need to not be a burden on her family because of all the hardship they’ve endured, which is where her insistence that she never cries comes from. her upbringing is also part of why she’s so hesitant about engaging in a relationship with harold, because her parents weren’t together to model what romantic love should look like for her.

she and leshaniqua share a room, and i’ve also pondered about leshawna having a younger brother. leshaniqua has sisters as well but they’re older and generally moved out.

as far as interests…i actually have a hc that leshawna likes to paint! again she keeps it rather to herself, but it’s something that soothes her and helps her be alone when needed. i also have a small hc that she loved strawberry shortcake growing up and orange blossom was her fave which is why she has oranges on her shirt. no idgaf that they’re canonically kumquats. they’re oranges.

leshawna’s also actually one of the most athletic characters in her generation (she seeds highest on her team in “million dollar babies”, over duncan and presumably even over courtney) but i haven’t quite figured out where she expresses that athleticism. track and field/shotput maybe? just personal training? idk. she's obviously very physically strong and has a high level of endurance.

otherwise i actually kinda think she’s a little bit of a homebody/prefers sorta low energy activities like just hanging out at the mall or around school. did you ever see those groups of girls in high schools that were always just kinda chilling? i feel like she had a few friends that she would just move around with in a unit LOL

she also had a guilty pleasure in reality television and talkshows which is what got her entangled in total drama in the first place, and why she kept doing reality tv after (tyler and leshawna reality tv duo from celebrity manhunt i did not forget you). i don't have a very clear idea of what her post-canon endeavours look like tbh, even in "before we die" she only says she wants to be a millionaire so i suspect she'd keep taking the tv and fame route for that. @/itsdivineart has a rather nice older leshawna tbh!!

i love...all of leshawna's canon relationships tbh. she's very personable and she plays off of the rest of the cast very well. some underappreciated ones imo is her dynamic with courtney (i have a whole thread on twitter about it LOL) and of course her friendship with lindsay. but her friendships with gwen and dj are also super excellent ♥♥

i also hc that leshawna and heather begrudgingly ended up spending time together because they're both friends with harold and dj HAHA

that's all i can think of off the top of my head but i love answering prompts like these :p

[catholicsapphic]

HELLO fellow gay who is super normal about Saint Rita!!!! I have a question about our bestie: Why were there maggots in her stigmata? Wouldn’t a holy wound not fester and rot? That has always been strange to me.

LOVE your Ritaposting. You. You get it. 🌹🐝🐝❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

HI OMG the MOMENT I saw you reblogging the Rita posts I was like… that’s my sibling… that’s a fellow Connoisseur™️… that’s the same species as me. I’m thrilled to find another of our kind! (Gay st Rita enthusiast)

Ok, I’m actually SUPER happy about this question. Not because I have a good answer, but because I’m a med student so I think about this a lot in the light of what I’ve been taught so far!!

Warning. Long, nerdy, passionate ramble bellow the cut

So. Myiasis. That’s the name we give to infection by fly larvae. There are several species of fly that can cause this; those found on open wounds can feast on live or dead tissue*. Take for example the species Cochliomyia hominivorax**. The female fly, upon finding opportune places with access to live tissue, lays her eggs. Those will then hatch, and the maggots will remain there, feasting on the tissue until they are old enough to fly away.

(*the tissue (this can mean skin, muscle, bone, etc… basically the components of our body :)) in an old wound can die for many reasons. The main one if that the continual inflammation, caused by the damage that was done if healing doesn’t happen, will make white blood cells keep destroying that area. Especially if it’s contaminated by outside agents. It makes healing a lot harder

** ‘hominivorax’ means ‘devourer of men’. How cool is that???)

Right, so that’s the medicine of it. Your point, however, is so good. Other stigmatists are said to smell like roses. I haven’t yet heard of a single other one with an infested wound. Why would Rita be different?

Well, in my humble opinion, I think she was blessed. I think of how she was given the chance to experience even more of Christ’s suffering, which was what she prayed for in the first place. I think of how, when other stigmatists crumbled under the weight of wounds that only a God could stand, Rita was given a Human’s wounds. She showed herself so very humbly towards God, that maybe God felt comfortable to show her His most vulnerable parts as well. The parts of him that weren’t pretty, or healed miraculously. I think of a God who came to us screaming, soft-boned, covered in amniotic fluid; and I think of His beloved, who smelled like rotten meat. I think He saw his spouse self flagellating and thought, My dear, it is painful enough to be human. It is beautiful enough to be human. It is enough to be human.

I think of the symbolism, too. We are the maggots in Christ’s wound. The crown pierced His head to heal our pride, and we feast on His body to be saved. And if we think ourselves unworthy of His love for taking advantage of Him, well. If Rita called her maggots ‘her little angels’, how much more sweetly will an all loving God call us?

(I think of how cannibalism is such a common metaphor for love, I think about Rita making her flesh an Eucharist for beings most of us would call disgusting, beings actively isolating her and hurting her and and and—

— and I think that maybe there has never been such a perfect imitator of Christ, never before, never since)

I think of loneliness. I think of how Rita was so beloved, as long as she didn’t get too weird. Too fierce. Too filled with ideas. Who was ever close enough to her in life to know what was really going on in her head? Her sons? We know how that went. Her bees, maybe. Maybe God saw how she liked her little, flying things. Maybe He wanted to give her more chances to be with Him, considering her smell would lead her to being avoided by all the sisters, hidden away and treated as a madwoman. Maybe He wanted to give her to us, an example to follow when we feel ourselves being excluded by our community for something we are not to blame for. Maybe it was for us that He did that. Gave us a mother’s embrace to crawl into when we are treated like we’re contagious, infested. Maybe it was for her He did that. Gave her friends who were too grateful to ever leave her alone.

I think about persecution, about how the stigmata wasn’t reported to the Church right away because they were afraid Rita would be judged as a heretic. I think about God’s gifts not always being pretty to see. How they almost didn’t take her to Rome because of her wound. About how sometimes, those who are supposed to sing praises to Love will point their fingers and snarl. I think about how maybe, maybe, God knew there were going to be queer people to whom this would resonate very much…

I think it’s ironic. Her body is preserved until today. Face, feet and hands, perfectly mummified. Under her habit, nothing but clean bones. A servant of God who gladly rotted in life, but refused to in death. I think it makes perfect sense.

I also think of what Rita couldn’t possibly have foreseen. I think of the lectures I’ve heard on larval therapy, on how we are learning to use species of dead tissue eating maggots to heal wounds, in order for them to eat the necrotic tissue and close it up. I think maybe it was an irony all along. I think maybe the point was healing.

I also think maybe the point was not healing. Stigmatists with pristine wounds loose so much blood, their confessors have to ask them to pray their stigmata away. And they do. Rita, however? She only needed to pray for that once, and that was for being allowed to travel to the Vatican with her fellow sisters. What took her out were her lungs, cystic fibrosis if I’m not mistaken. Nothing whatsoever to do with her wound, not even an infection that would be so easy to accompany myiasis. Maybe this was God’s way to allow her to keep this grace. Maybe her little angels were, indeed, angels, maintaining God’s gift with their inflammation inducing presence not allowing the wound to close, yet making sure it would not be a source of significant bleeding, either. Maybe they were protecting the wound from the other things that could infect it.

Maybe He was making her stand out among other stigmatists. Maybe it’s yet another impossible thing in her story to grant her the patronage. Maybe it’s supposed to make us reflect on how we treat the sick. Maybe it’s telling us to care for little things. Maybe it’s a lesson on humility. On love. On the price of God’s favour.

My friend, you asked me why there were maggots in her stigmata, why flesh that was touched by God would rot at all. And here is my answer: I have far too many thoughts, and not a single clue! What I know is that it intrigues me, it touches me in a way I never could have foreseen when I first met this saint, it makes me want to immerse myself in God and ask Him how can it be all of these things and none of them at the same time.

But you know what, my friend? I think, at last, that I like to not know. Because I am certain of my wonder at this mystery. And I am certain that in heaven, Rita is looking down at us, and she’s laughing in joy and amusement. And I am certain that her Beloved is there, laughing with her.