#she deserves to fuck him up. so much
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chrisanthony hc: when anthony dies he finds christopher in the afterlife thinking they're gonna have a cute reunion, then christopher yells "NOW" and all the kids anthony killed or caused the deaths of come out to fuck him up. christopher holds him so maggie can hit him
#shadows house#shadows house spoilers#christopher shadow#anthony shadows house#maggie shadows house#she deserves to fuck him up. so much
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"i have a sister now! thank you, granpa! we are going to do so much stuff together!"
(trans masc newborn shado btw. tag as ship and ill kill you)
#im so done. they deserved so much better#im getting atatched to maria now and its#its not easy. shes basicaly a pure white girl but also a completely blank canvas#yet im so. shes so.. i hc those earings are a gift from her parents they gave her jjst before she moved to the ark. she always wears them#she was a human being with her own identity but neither her granpa (the person that raised her) nor the narrative treats her as such#there had to be some fucked up shit she went through psycologicaly that not even shadow got to know#its actually painful for me to draw her not happy. its too much#also shadow is trans masc and just a few days of age thats why maria calls him âsisterâ#sth#sonic#sonic fanart#shadow the hedgehog#maria robotnik#nov.aart
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rewatched madoka magica again today bc i fucking hate myself and to absolutely no oneâs surprise i went through all five stages of grief in a single evening
#letâs talk about sayaka miki for a second#genuinely the fact that her whole character is centered around tragedy almost to a shakespearean extent#sheâs selfless and brave and values her justice and righteousness above all. calls herself an ally of justice#in fact i think itâs rather intriguing how her whole character is centered around âjusticeâ#her story being a more twisted retelling of the original little mermaid#how she is initially portrayed as a very heroic and confident character even before becoming a magical girl. always shielding madoka#selling her soul to heal the boy she loved out of a selfless desire to see him well again#her being absolutely distraught abt being robbed of her humanity and betrayed by kyubey#she combats this harrowing realization by immersing herself in her duties not caring that she is slowly deteriorating in the process#becoming numb with pain and fighting recklessly and psychotically trying to drown out the pain#finally coming to the sickening conclusion that humanity doesnât deserve her saving and she succumbs to a fate of her making#last words being âi was so stupidâ which trumps her previous statement of âthereâs no way iâd regret thisâ#ALSO? the fact that her costume and weapon are symbolic of a knight. she rly portrays this hero of justice who will protect and defend âčïž#i think abt the fact that homura said that sayakaâs wish was so selfless it was only a matter of time before she died#sayaka being the example of what happens to magical girls who go through the entire cycle and eventually become witches is so sad to me#genuinely just like. sick and twisted#very very fucked up.#characters who have their own misconstrued interpretation of âjusticeâ or who are centered around justice in general.#you will always be dear to me.#sayaka reminds me a lot of akechi in some ways ngl#harboring an almost idealized vision of justice but it slowly rots and festers and corrupts their hearts the more immersed w it they become#actually losing their sanity when they fight bc of how much pain theyâre in but refuse to acknowledge it until they break#refusing any help and wallowing in misery despite having ppl who love them and want to save them#last words are those expressing regret for being such a fool. for being ignoring#being used by yhe main villain as a stepping stone towards their true goal. they were merely a pawn#also doomed in every version of their reality. always doomed by the narrative no matter what choices they make#i have a type i fear#HAHAHAH ALSO the fact that theyâre both dressed so regally compared to everyone else in their respective series#meant to portray them in a virtuous and princely light. only made more apparent by the sword being their weapon of choice#iâm gonna shut up now but theyâre soo eerily similar its unnerving tbh đ
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Lady of Mercy & Lord of the Fates; in the Gardens of Valinor
Tristan and Isolde, Neuschwanstein Murals, by August SpieĂ - 1881
Even after all the sorrow he brought her, she still begged for his release, for what he had been once. Her pity never made any of them less, and she never stopped seeing the good in him, although little it was, just as he never cursed her, as he did with others.
I am a sucker for their dynamic, Lady of Mercy & Lord of All Evil? Yes, please.
#i still think she deserves to yell at him dont get me wrong but i love them so much#of all the valar he liked her most#in his own fucked up way#tolkien#jrr tolkien#silmarillion#melkor#morgoth#nienna#melkor x nienna#vala#valar#valinor#tolkien art#silm art#digital art#my art
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It was fucking rape. That's my fucking point of view.
What do you mean he liked it? What do you mean it was cheating? What do you mean I like her?
It was rape, there is no other interpretation other than rape.
Robby lived with two addicts and yet he was abandoned in a bar with free access to alcohol, and that's where it started.
He got drunk for the first time, he drank for the first time and he has no resistance to alcohol because he stays away as best he can for the simple fact that his parents were addicts who never cared about him. So he wanted to forget what was happening, to repress all of this and he turned to alcohol because where else would he go when everyone didn't give a damn about him, or his situation with Tory or his emotions? Where else was he supposed to go when his example of dealing with emotions is aggression and addiction? So he drank. He drank to a level where he couldn't formulate a response, a sentence, when Kwon came to talk to him and provoke him, and we know that if he was sober he would have done something. It was obvious on his own face listening to Kwon that he was spaced out, drunk, and then Zara approached him. And took him to her room, from where he came out the next morning. No memory of the night before, a headache, and still looking out of it, as we can see when she kissed him and he didn't even react to it. The level of alcohol this requires is the level of alcohol that prevents someone from giving consent.
â I barely remember last night
â Good thing I do
Can we see the exact connotation that something happened? That she actually took advantage of the boy who couldn't speak to give consent, who couldn't think to say no, who was too drunk for this to be acceptable? The fact that she shows no remorse whatsoever for this happening and yet kisses him again.
Besides the fact that the writers themselves are treating it like it's some kind of cheating with Tory, the characters themselves acting like he's not a vulnerable person being raped by someone who knows better?
I hate her and I hate the writers for making this like it's nothing. I don't want to be that girl, but being that girl, if the roles were reversed, would this be in the show? Would this be treated that way? Or would they actually treat it like the SA situation that it is?
From the beginning, you can see her interest in Robby - starting with that scene in the captains' photo shoot where she talks to Tory. She knows he's in a relationship. All those teasing scenes with Tory. Her taking advantage of Robby. Then the fight scene.
â You chose her over me?
Like, girl, what the fuck did you expect? He doesn't know you, he doesn't like you, you raped him and you're going after his girlfriend - the person he loves? How high is your ego to even consider that he would choose you? Axel's obsession with Sam I can understand more, although I still have my doubts. She was the first person to understand and see his situation with his sensei, she was friendly and he developed a protectiveness towards her. Although his attitude towards Miguel was wrong, he didn't rape Sam or act like a bitch towards her.
Iron Dragons and their obsession with the Miyagi-Do captains.
Zara Malik and the fact that she raped Robby Keene.
#cobra kai s6#cobra kai s6 spoilers#cobra kai#robby keene#zara malik#axel kovacevic#samantha larusso#tory nichols#miguel diaz#he was raped that was rape and the writers don't give a damn because they are using it as a cheating plot#iron dragons#miyagi do#He grew up with addicts and the first time he drinks alcohol this happens and if it's not the biggest trauma I don't know what is#rape/noncon#she's not a badass for acting like that and she's not a badass for going after him or Tory she's not a badass she's a fucking rapist#i have many feelings#I really have a lot of feelings about the fact that Robby himself sees this more as cheating than rape#and I need a fanfic of him being comforted because no this was not cheating and no it was not your fault#where Johnny actually acts like a father or Daniel focuses on something other than a dead old man and his legacy#he didn't like it he's a fucking minor who was left vulnerable and she took advantage of that out of any obsession with him and Tory#Johnny and Shannon were not good parents even though they could have tried at some point#even if Johnny is still trying what the fuck??? do something besides ignore his existence#or just keep talking about karate or the new child you're going to have with the mother of the boy he thinks replaced him#Robby I love you and you deserve so much more#kwon jae sung
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Iâve never felt so conflicted about a franchise in my life but at least this dude was hot
#I watched conquering the demons and demons strike back at 3am last night and I have to say I like the first one more#but not by a lot#like I wanted so much to like this movie#but fucking Duan manâŠ#like I read the plot beforehand so I wouldnât be caught off guard by anything but DAMN that SA scene was sooo much worse watching it#girl this is not the girlboss pussy slay move you think it is queen#I liked her character so much too before that cuz sheâs so cool but the unconsented captive fuck or die foreplay was NOT the move#then she had the nerve to rip up sanzangâs book and turn to us and be like you know what I think I still have a chance - GIRL HES RUNNING#then they had the nerve to make him fall in love with her anyway boy you a VICTIM#then the second one just had [redacted] in it and I did not enjoy looking at his face for two hours - ruined the whole experience#also I have to say that was the worst iteration of Sanzang Iâve ever seen I was actually happy when I thought wukong was boutta kill him#I talk all this shit but I really did like the effects and monster designs in the movie they were so cool#also I thought the first sanzang actor was sooo cute and pathetic why didnât they keep him đ#well itâs for the best I wouldnât wanna have seen him turn abusive like they wrote him in the second movie#also dsb is the only movie in which I can understand the wukong and tripitaka shippers cuz that ENDING SCENE yeah I saw it#oh right my tags sorry lol#digital art#my art#journey to the west#jttw sun wukong#conquering the demons#demons strike back#sun wukong#also his glowup in between movies is so funny lmfao#if you couldnât accept him at his conquering the demons you donât deserve him at his demons strike back#at least dsb gave me this human version of wukong please sir just one chance just one sniff-
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:-P
#i have such complex feels abt them#bc they seem to genuinely enjoy eachother but goodsir is still part of the empire#like the come with us scene twists me up inside. bc its said with good intent but hes asking something so insane and she would like probably#die of disease and if not then it would still b super fucked. but shes so kind to him. shes so kind. she didnt deserve any of this#i think the script said they were like siblings in horror and i like that. but by not making them romanticly involved they made a#relationship thsts so much more Romantic and lovely. so i dunno. i feel weird abt them but theyre cute#harry goodsir#silna#lady silence#the terror#amc the terror#goodsir is subtlly leaking rainbows
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Kate is a grown-ass woman towards a literal child because she is a crazy predator (and Iâm tired of people not acknowledging it and Derekâs trauma from it):
Stiles defending Derek cause thatâs his mans and Kate just so in the wrong:
Just a reminder: Kate Argent is a predatory bitchđ
#derek hale#stiles stilinski#derek x stiles#stiles x derek#sterek#stiles stilinski x derek hale#sterek pack#derek hale x stiles stilinski#sterek is real#sterek love#sterek meme#stiles and derek#derek and stiles#kate argent#I hate Kate argent#she a fucking bitch#She's is such a fucking creep#she deserves so much worse#Derek has messyad toxic relationships with woman after that because Kate fucked him up so much and I can't even describe the anger I feel#i absolutely hate it#I hope kate argent burns for eternity and it still won't be enough for what she deserves
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SHE BELIEVES IN HIM. SHE WANTS HIM TO LIVE.
#ARTHURS SOBS BROKE ME#HE NO LONGER THINKS HE DESERVES TO DIE#AND FAROE LOVES HIM#IM GONNA FUCKING THROW UP#HE LOVES HIS DAUGHTER SO MUCH AND SHE LOVED HIM TOO#ITS HER THAT KEPT HIM GOING THIS WHOLE TIME#SCREAMING CRYING THROWING MYSELF AGAINST THE WALL#malevolent#malevolent podcast#arthur lester#john doe#faroe lester#faroe malevolent#malevolent part 45#malevolent part 45 spoilers
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she's so important to me (crying sobbing)
#I RAMBLED A BIT ON MY TIKTOK ACCOUNT BUT I WILL DO IT AGAIN#spitfire deserved so much better. Aftermath too#yknow the only two adults who gave them an opportunity or that at least showed the tiniest bit of interest in them??? Elita and Breakdown.#Elita who the writers ignore half the time and only had a single spotlight episode#also oh my godd. what was up with Megatron and Optimus being so indifferent to her. SHES A DAY OLD TWITCH SAID IT#she doesnt know manners because shes a day old and no one fucking bothered to explain things to her#how to behave how to act.#im her VERY short life she didn't have an adult to properly look after her#WHOEVER SAYS STARSCREAM YOURE WRONGFG#TO HIM SHE WAS ONLY A TOOL IN HIS PLAN. HE DIDN'T CARE ABOUT HER AT ALL#i hate the writing of this season so much#the handling of the Chaos terrans was horrible#ughhhhhhh exploding and dying#transformers earthspark#earthspark spitfire#earthspark twitch#tfe spitfire#tfe twitch#i love her sm âčïž
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Toxic Yaoi
#its definitely one sided ON JIM'S PART.#the office us#the office#dwight schrute#jim halpert#i think Jim is like bi or something but he just doesn't see liking men as a real possiblity for him#so even though he most definitely has had feelings for men he just ignores them and chalks them up to bromance nd stuff#but then with Dwight we know that they went on sales calls all the time and used to get along just fine#and im thinking after awhile Jim started realizing the true nature of his feelings#like i dont think he fully thought âi am gay or somethingâ i just think he started to realize the way he thought abt dwight wasn't ânormalâ#and he was a bit peaved like wth is Dwight's deal? nd i think thats when he started playing his pranks#and he worked up the idea that Dwight âdeserved itâ#and i don't think Jim's feelings for Pam are fake but i don't think its a coincidence that most of his favorite things abt her involve dwigt#like his way of impressing her and making her laugh is picking on Dwight#the moment he knew he loved her was when she introduced dwight to him (kinda??)#and when Pam starts to be buddies with dwight hes like freaked out#this guy has this weird obsessive hatred towards dwight who hasn't really done anything besides be a bit weird#and they become sorta friends after like SEVEN seasons but Dwight does NOT want his ass#but theres still moments that give a small part of jim some hope like THAT FUCKING SCENE BEFORE JIMS PERFORMANCE AT THE SABRE STORE LIKE OMG#im talking too much in tags ill probly make a follow up post#dont show this to my irls guys#jwight#jim x dwight#schrupert
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Kinda started rereading Dressrosa and... Although I always chalked up the similarities between Crocodile's plan to take over Alabasta and how Doflamingo took over Dressrosa as nothing but Oda reusing similar plot elements but in a slightly different way (just to show us what could've become of Alabasta had Croc gotten away with his schemes, what Luffy helped prevent from happening to begin with)...
Robin's reaction to hearing the story of Dressrosa and HOW Doflamingo took over the country, that simple little "...!!", actually does kind of speak volumes
Like if you wanted canonical evidence to Crocodile having been "inspired" by Doflamingo, then yeah, Robin would be The Person who would pick up on that, she'd be the person who'd be like "hey, that story sounds awfully familiar to what Crocodile did", since he was her boss
Do want to note that, timeline-wise, Doflamingo only took over Dressrosa 10 years ago, where as Crocodile had been Scheming and establishing his position as the Hero of Alabasta for 16 years. Like Croc's intent to obtain Pluton and create his military nation utopia absolutely pre-dates Doffy's takeover, so that wasn't and can't have been inspired by Doflamingo at all. It's more just the plan and method Crocodile ended up going with (framing the king (through a bloodbath) and putting the country in a position without a ruler where he could just yoink it for himself with ease) where the similarity becomes more obvious. But it is also kind of where it ends. Doflamingo wanted Dressrosa because he felt like he was entitled to the island (as his family had been its original rulers and he was a Tenryuubito), and was using the island for his own gains (Smile manufacturing etc, for his dealings with Kaidou), all while having a great distain and hatred of the world and how he had been "wronged" (=Tenryuubito rights revoked). Meanwhile... yeah, Crocodile wanted to create a "utopia", only targetting Alabasta because he believed Pluton was there and because Pluton would be needed for his ideal military nation. That minor difference and Crocodile's clear and great distain and hatred of Doflamingo combined...
Yeah, I dunno, this is just interesting to me. God I need Robin and Crocodile to have a lil reunion chat
#Moon posting#OP Meta#Coming to learn that the most import panels in One Piece are the ones where a character has a thought bubble going ''...''#Tabled at a convention on Saturday and I had nothing else to do while waiting for my train/on the train lmao#I've only read through Dressrosa twice so I have been craving to reread it for a while now (but I had been saving it up for con trips)#Dressrosa is so fucking good. Like I'll be first to admit I did not enjoy it when it was first unfolding in the early 2010s#But rereading it... It's good man. It's good#Dressrosa gets to much shit it doesn't deserve#Sidenote but yes people are quick to point out how Doffy's crew has DFs that're just more powerful versions of what Baroque Works had#I do not think Croc was recruiting people based on their Devil Fruits like that though. Like that I think really is just Oda reusing ideas#'Cause literally the only people in Baroque Works who Crocodile actually and specifically *needed* to do his thing were Robin (Poneglyph)#And Bon-chan to impersonate Cobra (and thinking about it Galdino+Marianne could've been like a Back Up)#(Like had something happened to Bon-chan then 3 Pair could've created a wax replica of Cobra to frame him for the port attack)#All the other tasks? Could've been done by literally anyone (as long as they were competent enough)#(Maybe Miss Merry Christmas was required for Cobra's kidnapping though considdering how fast she could haul ass etc)
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Itâs so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they donât give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while Iâm at it I donât understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing theyâre perfectly fine and to them you donât exist#Iâm still in such a state of grief and I donât understand why time hasnât healed#it honestly feels like itâs gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I canât help it my brain wants me dead#itâs so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone whoâs your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I donât even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I donât even know if he still has her or if sheâs still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didnât appreciate me#not wasted. it wasnât wasted. we had some incredible times together#Iâll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i canât decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#itâs all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and itâs so fucked up#nobody read this Iâm so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if Iâll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me Iâm just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing youâre going to abandon them the second itâs convenient
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"One thing that I've always said about Juan is that every action that he does is heartfelt and genuine. When it was the war against the French, he was there and he was going to go to war, even though he knew he was going to die. He saw them getting ripped apart, but he was there and he was going to do it. I believe if Lucrezia hadn't come over, he would have led all his troops into death. I don't think there's anything that he's done which was through general cowardice. In terms of his survival, he died how he lived, and that's laudable, in itself." â David Oakes.
#it just gets to me that juan is a kid who has no fucking clue what he's doing since his dad gave him a position that's difficult for him#and as much as he was scared to death of the french army and witnessing his troops being torn to shreds...#he was willing to die to protect rome and impress his dad because he's terrified knowing that his dad trusts and confides only in cesare#the family's fuck-up trying not fuck up?#the only reason juan retreated is because of his love for lucrezia and how she would be upset if he died and he can't have THAT#the writing was so biased against him because they were too busy propping up cesare i fear but alas#anyways juan borgia deserved better. being completely discarded by his family is such a tragic fate for a character.#a character who's storyline is trying to impress them but they've always ganged up on him which is annoying#juan borgia#david oakes#the borgias#theborgiasedit#periodedits#perioddramaedit#weloveperioddrama#juan x lucrezia#dailyworldcinema#tvarchive#cinemapix#by jen
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Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.
I don't have external meltdowns.
I could. I don't let it happen.
I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.
So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.
She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.
Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].
It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.
They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.
I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.
I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.
I couldn't understand what made her like this.
But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.
If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.
And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*
And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?
My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.
Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???
And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.
I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*
She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.
I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.
So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.
But I told her hundreds of times.
I probably should have just screamed at her.
#good stay out of our yard' and he didn't seem to know what to say to that#but other than that I don't think anyone in my adult life has ever seen me turn aggressive at all to the point where people 100% like to#play games of testing my patience and my boundaries because they think my tolerance is infinite#but like I have autistic rage tantrums on both sides of my family and they are just happening inside my head#And somehow it took me until now to realize that being that way was actually -expected- of me by my parents and especially my mother#and that by keeping myself outwardly level headed to be considerate I actually took away whatever signals she can understand#to have empathy for how I must be feeling#I mean it's still all on her#but it makes so much sense of why she's fucking *like this*#And why my sister thinks I hate her just because -she- stopped texting -me-#but that fucking guy#Every time I was like#In my adult life I have screamed at someone ONE whole time and it was 1000% deserved#And I threw heavy objects around one whole other time and in my defense I didn't do it in front of the guy he just felt the ground shaking#heard the thuds and came back to the logs blocking his path because that fucker wouldn't stop parking in our yard after being asked#and then TOLD not to about 10 times because he was acting entitled to just park in our yard and was crushing my plants???#seriously I don't know what his deal was but he wouldn't stop telling me how much the ground shaking scared him like it was supposed#to get my pity like I think this guy took one look at the logs I had just tossed down and was suddenly afraid of this âwomanâ he was#bullying in their own yard and so my ability to feel bad for scaring him had gone straight out the fucking window#I looked at him and said stop parking in our yard instead of your own you are killing my plants#he'd just fucking be like 'well the last people to live here let us D: :)â and I'd be like âgood for them?â âstopâ#and he'd just keep doing it#I was having a week of insomnia and was finally having the best dream#the kind of sex dream you have like twice in your life#and this fucker had just gotten some noisy ass little bike with a spoiler on it#and starts it up right under my window at 3am from IN OUR FUCKING YARD#so I had a nice long anger nap and just after he got home from work and was sleeping in his house#I picked up these chunks of deadwood tree from the back#there was like 3-4 logs that used to be a WHOLEASS fucking oak tree Like these logs were not as heavy as they -looked- but they were still#this fucker deleted half the tags I wrote and I am not retyping that fuck you tumblr so fucking hard
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say hi to me i don't know, i just remembered being so much brighter, i guess
cigarette ash like wildfire burning holes in the nighttime open scars feel like barbed wire white lies flying high like a ceasefire dropping flags on the shoreline this is as far as i can feel right 'cause what you don't know can haunt you
and all we ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think for a while
don't drag it out living like that doesn't mean a thing
so let's, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars 'cause happy endings hardest to fake
and i wanna let you know i wanna let you go but i just can't bring myself to speak but this is how it goes the end credits, they roll this bridge was built over kerosene but we can watch it and all i ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think
so let's run, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars you can wish away forever but you'll never find a thing like today
#miraculous ladybug#felix fathom#marinette dupain cheng#felix graham de vanily#đ#ml amv#felinette felinette felinette FELINETTE#i'm shrimping so hard i'm gromping i'm making absolute tempura#yes the 2 am coco pops fĂ©lix post was made while i was finishing this yes i am constantly experiencing inconsolable fĂ©lix feelings#fĂ©lings even. GOD GOD GOD okay listen#i could do a line by line analysis of this song and how i made the amv i have too many thoughts to put in the tags i am exploding#but in summary REPRESENTATION. REPRESENTATION. EMOTION. REPRESENTATION. EMOTION. REPLIQUE. FUCK ME#fĂ©lix's trauma an open scar leading her to the art room as far as both of them will go to feel right#ALL HE EVER WANTED WAS TO KEEP ADRIEN AND THEN MARINETTE SAFE#it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark huAHUAHHGAG I MTHRWOING UP it's how he doesn't care what she thinks of him#how she sees him whether she hates him he's Chosen her as someone to protect and he will DO IT he will TAKE HER WHEN HE RUNS#i don't care if you beat me i know i have this under control and i'm protecting you and everything is going to be okay EXPLOIDNGNIG#tomorrow is a mile away tomorrow where i find out who you are tomorrow where we have to come apart#this is how it GOES you're the hero i'm the villain adrien is the lover i'm the monster i'm the cousin#marinette and fĂ©lix and Knowing each other is so#THEY DESERVE SO MANY OTHER DAYS THEY DESERVE TO SLOW DOWN AND BE WITH EACH OTHER AND NOT HAVE TOMORROW PULL EVERYTHING AWAY AND UAHAUHGAUGH#i'm not well about them. fĂ©lix and freedom and escape#ALSO i have so many feelings about fĂ©lix cherishing the people he wants to save so much he was willing to do the same thing that led to#his own trauma and use the peacock miraculous TWICE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME ARE YOU KIDDING ME#you can read it differently but right now come with me ARE YOU KIDDING ME#also ALSO i often think about how felinette standing in front of rĂ©plique is a reference to pv felinette#and me placing that directly before the wish is a nod to how the pv was rewritten into canon miraculous. a meta wish... felinette remains#but also in universe you can wish away the world that once was and you'll still never find another thing quite like fĂ©lix#and who you were and could have been to each other today... cherish him marinette... please cherish him for me#i hit tag limit on this essay so i'm not tagging the episodes i used in the amv but i used all eight fĂ©lix episodes as always
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