#she cant keep up with my diet and restriction

[alisria]

if i have to see that fucking post about how "actually it's impossible to lose weight and you should never be recommended weight loss for your health and you can never ever keep weight off and if you diet you will Starve To Death" one more time i am going to actually commit an act of violence (after seeing it for the sixth fucking time and getting mad about it AGAIN i have finally blocked op instead of just continuing to unfollow whoever put it on my dash)

i put my rant under a readmore because i was writing it in tags and it got too long if anyone tries to fucking debate me about any of this you are getting blocked i seriously do not give a fuck this is a VENT POST because im EXTREMELY ANGRY

i understand that this sentiment can be valuable for people with restrictive eating disorders. you are allowed to eat and nourish your body and not feel guilty. but saying that "oh your knees wont hurt as much and your LDL/A1C will improve but thats it it's otherwise Very Unhealthy" is grossly negligent

ldl? you mean cholesterol? a1c? you mean blood sugar levels? you mean by eating in a way that nourishes your body but not in significant excess will help prevent heart disease and type 2 diabetes? which are lifelong medical conditions that can be expensive to live with in countries with no socialized health care?

how about instead of lying and saying that Losing Weight Is Bad we talk about eating varieties of nutrient-dense foods. we talk about adding in foods that are good for our bodies and slowly reducing the amount of foods that are genetically engineered to make you crave more and more and are sold by companies that do not give a shit about your health

like. eating 1500 calories a day is not a starvation diet for anyone under 5 foot 4. it is for taller people. because who would have thought people with larger frames need more energy to make their bodies work. because there is more of them to move around.

weight loss AND weight gain are morally neutral!! stop acting like One of them is good and one of them is evil!!! i understand that not every post is about me but like fuck!! seriously!!! this is the Misinformation Website!!! "this is all googleable" okay but you are also using extremely biased language. you are telling people to google 'starvation diet'. of course they will find information about people LITERALLY STARVING. 'i am a doctor just trust me bro' my doctor is the same with the body positive shit i had to CONVINCE her that losing weight would be worthwhile for me for a multitude of reasons. she finally fucking agreed with me after i said "listen. i felt so much better emotionally, physically, and mentally at [X] lbs. i could tie my own shoelaces without sitting down. i could run a mile without collapsing. using the fucking restroom is easier. i wasn't getting fucking TRAPPED on the floor. and now i weigh [Y] lbs and cant put on my own socks and i am fucking crippled and walk with a cane. i am MISERABLE. and i am STILL MISERABLE after finally being on medication that helps with my brain because i am in EXCRUCIATING PAIN every waking moment, and it even fucking wakes me up at night. i cant sleep. i cant do *anything*." and she finally had to say "yeah okay maybe it would help to lose some weight" LIKE I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO CONVINCE YOU TO BE OKAY WITH ME DOING SOMETHING THAT IS GOOD FOR ME.

this shit makes me SO FUCKING ANGRY. i have seen a dietician, who has graduated me from seeing her. i do not have an eating disorder. but these fucking posts that are just LYING are actively triggering!!!

for the love of god there are communities of people out there who have lost a significant amount of weight, have kept it off, and are EXTREMELY supportive for people who want that for themselves! people who choose to stick around once theyre in "maintenance" (staying at a weight that is healthy for them) because they want to help people improve their lives! acting like NO ONE keeps the weight off is just wrong!!

some of us have fucked up hunger cues!! some of us have adapted overeating as an unhealthy coping mechanism!! as a form of self-harm!! and these things deserve to be faced with kindness and understanding, not "You Will Fail, You Will Fail, You Must Stay Fat"

being fat is morally neutral!! being thin is morally neutral!! you are not a bad person for wanting to gain weight! you are not a bad person for wanting to lose weight! you are not a bad person for wanting to stay the same weight! you are not a bad person for not even being concerned about your weight! but by fucking god you are allowed to feel happy and comfortable with your body in whatever shape it is, and if you know you would be happier in a different shape, you are allowed to work for that!!! fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[flowerslightning]

Wanna be a Game Character?

And now, who's up for a physical torture??

Inspired from Saitama's 100 days challenge, since this will only be for ' 7 ' weeks only, Im gonna name this workout challenge as "TIFA LOCKHART WORKOUT".

I like Lightning Farron more, but she has a God-like power. While Tifa is an ordinary girl who train her body to be in the same level as the hero. So I use her name for this workout. Besides, I want to have what she has - the agility, power and speed.

I.. Have.. No.. Idea.. My weight .. Has .. Increased.. A lot 😂😂😂 no wonder why I feel my body is heavier than usual. I didnt train a muscle during the quarantine and the last time I trained seriously with my coach was in January and then my intern shift interrupted most of my training seasons.

I got scolded by my coach for being weak and unmotivated today 😂😂 and today was be the last time I saw him bfore moving 500km away from my hometown bcause of this intern for 7 weeks. I need to get back to my usual figure before meeting him again.

Disclaimer : I'm not a coach nor someone who has knowledge in nutrition. I once used this method to reduce 8 kg in a very short amount of time for my sparring tournament and it worked (but previously the workout was a lot more intense than this). And my weight maintained for several years, not until my sleeping schedule got crazy from the past 6 months and I have to stay indoors 24hrs and eat midnight snacks almost everyday and 0 hrs of exercise for 3 months straight.

Hah-hah.

★Tifa Lockhart Workout★

Tifa has light build, superb strength, slim but fit figure, high agility and speed. She has abs but not the 6 pack type and her female appeal still maintained. A body where lots of women admire. While genetic does play a huge role in a person's body, but I believe Tifa does not have restricted diet but still train herself intensely. This workout should be light and easy to follow (well at least for me it is easy).

So, overall, the main objective is to regain power and speed. Which I assume I can achieve this by loosing weight and increase muscle endurance through out the 7 weeks self train. I will focus more on full body workout which involves cardio and strength exercises. [Pls note that I hate dumbbells and dislike gym. I like cardio and love pushups and plank]. So, this workout is really simple but effective (for me) and may torture ur mental a bit. It doesnt need equipment (but u need a jump rope)

★ Ready to go? Lets check the schedule first

F - Fasting | INT F - Intermittent Fasting

I will give myself 2 days rest to allow my body to heal. I have extra time doing the weekends, so I will push myself to do more workout. Doing the selected days, I will try to spend at least 2 hrs for weekdays and weekends at least 3 hrs.

★ Move on to the diet

I'm not a foodie person. So I can survive a day without eating heavy meal while still being active. I choose Mon and Thu to fast, and Tue, Wed, Sat for intermittent fasting. Fri and Sun are my super 👻 cheat days. And dont forget to drink ur water 3L/day. I like to add a few slices of lemon in to my plain water for no proper reason. I just like to watch the lemon floating inside my bottle 😂

Rice is our main dish and we often have it during breakfast, lunch and dinner. Rice is a form of high carbs, so Im gonna cut it completely from my diet, along with bar chocolates, sweet drinks, candies while still eating breads and cookies, less intake of salty snack and more in protein and fruits. And the rest, Im gonna eat it like usual but in smaller portion- noodle, kuey teow, oden, mee, oatmeal, etc.. Will be away from home for 7 weeks though, I'm a cheapstake to myself so I dont really spend money on food 😂

And i dont take any extra supplement. I hate drugs..

★ And here's what the activity will look like

Dont forget to do warm up! We usually rope jump for half an hour before stretching.

Since my only problem is my weight increased and I feel my muscle endurance reduced, I will immediately start at Level 3, then jump to Level 5 and then to Level 10. Im not an expert though, I just like to push myself to my limit and see how far I can still proceed.

If ure new to any type of exercise, pls try to do this activity level by level. Increase ur level every 2 weeks. Eg - Level 1 rpt 10x push up, 10 mins rope jumping, 1km jogging for the first 2 weeks | Level 2 rpt 20x push up, 20 mins rope jumping, 2km joggin for the next 2 weeks | Level 3 - and so on. Make sure to have 5-3mins rest before doing the next activity.

Agility workout aint fun without a partner, for me, at least. But, yeah, none of my female intern friends like sweat 🙃 so I have to train agility.all.by.my.self. (or probably will skip it and change to strength workout) Hmmm

Friendly reminder : Do it slowly but constantly. If u cant finish the 10x burpees, u can rest 2-3 mins every 5x. No need to push ur self too hard. Unless if ure stubborn like me, then have it ur way. Do this at ur own risk.

As a summary to this challenge ;

Right now, I am 166cm tall and 56kg. Perfect BMI u may say, but I feel heavy, unlike when I was only 54-52kg. Besides, I'm in class B sparring tournament. Cant let my weight be more than 54kg and less than 50

☆ Mission : Reduce weight - From 56kg to 51kg

☆ Objective : Regain strength, speed and muscle endurance

☆ Workout focuses : Full body workout - Cardio + Strength

☆ Time limitation : 7 Weeks

Keep in mind that this is not about trying to be like Tifa Lockhart, but instead, u may have abs and lean muscle like her through this workout (depends on ur genetic, routine and diet). If u want to reduce weight and bcome light like how I want it to be, then this simple exercise is for u.

Alright, that's it. Feel free to join my 7 weeks challenge ! If u participate in this challenge, do tell me ur result and ur experience. I'm eager to listen to ur story 😆😆

I will be in hiatus for 7 weeks straight. Was told the internet line at the village clinic is horrible. So, will come back on 23rd August. See ya guy later ! 🤗

[maknaesdancersrappers]

july 21

hello. july 21 is a special day for me and you dont have to read this because its just me venting out my thoughts and emotions as long as i can without word/character limits on any platform.

july 21 is my maternal grandmother’s birthday. when i was born, my mom went abroad often and my dad had the regular 9 to 5 job plus extra hours for commute. so growing up with my sisters who are 5 and 7 years older, our grandparents and aunts took care of us.

im also more fond of my maternal grandmother since my paternal grandmother lived far away and we rarely ever get to see her (usually only during summers and once she stayed with us for awhile) until she passed away from Alzheimer's.

during the long hiatus i took early this year (late december to mid-march?), a lot has happened in my life. my health was put at risk because of the ash fall brought by the volcano eruption (january 12); i had allergies for weeks - i couldnt breathe properly, let alone sleep because of it. it was about to be the second year after graduating college and i have yet to get a job; the pressure from my family - and myself - was so unbearable that i caught myself slipping back to my very, very, very dark thoughts. and the worst thing that happened in those three months: my grandmother passed away. in filipino, grandmother is lola (loh-lah) and i’d like to use that for the rest of this post.

if you ask anyone in their neighborhood, any of our family friends, and relatives, everyone will tell you that her death was sudden. because everyone knows her as the sometimes-funny-sometimes-cranky old lady that owns the convenience store at the corner of the street. she was 96. she was 96 but she refused to get a wheelchair or use a walking stick even though her knees started to hurt after a few steps. she was 96 but didn’t need glasses to read most of the time. she was 96 but didn’t have any maintenance medication. ever since she reached her 90′s, she had gone to the town clinic at least twice because she fell over (from loss of balance) and busted her head. yet she would walk the next day like she doesnt have stitches on her scalp. she hated going to the doctor, she’d always claim that nothing hurts and the only thing she wanted the doctor to fix was her hearing (its as weak as how her eyesight is clear)

i wasnt the only one in the family that got severely affected by the ash fall. my lola also had trouble breathing because of it. she also went to the doctor for it and they only prescribed her antibiotics. please remember this info. this should be around early february

she got a little better but her voice was very hoarse from the phlegm. even before this, lola had little to no appetite and would only eat when someone else is eating (usually if it’s us, her granddaughters). and by little to no appetite, i mean her whole meal would be three spoonfuls of rice and one piece/chunk of whatever the main dish/ulam is. whenever we ask if she had eaten (even though we know she hadnt) she’d always claim that she already has (this eventually became a little joke in our family.) we took this sign as her dementia getting worse (although she was never really diagnosed with it, we had naturally assumed it because she would always repeatedly tell us stories that she insists happened even though some have been debunked and there were times she forgets our names if we havent visited in a while.)

after she gets better from the cough (idk the real diagnosis of it), her legs started to swell and because her routine had been reduced to being bedridden for most of the day, my aunts thought it was just poor circulation. it took two weeks before they brought her back to the town clinic and again, they just prescribed her with some medicine. everything after this is blurry to me until feb 21

my mom, being the eldest, made the decision to bring lola to the hospital. she’s, rightfully, unsatisfied with the town doctor’s diagnosis and prescriptions because lola is in so much pain and her legs were still swollen and its been weeks. i was with her in the emergency room while my mom and aunt did the paper work and the staff ran tests on lola. i’m contacting my sister who was in singapore and we’d video call to entertain lola since she was very adamant - and vocal - that she did not want to be admitted to the hospital bc she was “fine.” goSh she made so many hospital staff laugh because she would always announce whenever she had to fart. after like 2 hours, we move her into a ward and my mom tells me that i’ll have to stay overnight to watch over her. i was very apprehensive of this idea. i honestly did not want to. seeing her in pain was bad enough, but the fact we were in a room with other people and she was crying out loud made me really anxious but it was final. my mom, aunt, and uncle all went back home just to have dinner and they’ll come back since lola’s doctor would be coming by to give the results and for that hour they were gone? i lost it.

lola started talking/praying out loud, asking god why she was in so much pain, asking what she had done to deserve this; and i didn’t know what to do but hold her hand and kiss her head. i couldn’t even show her i was crying. when my mom got back, i told her i cant do it and she eventually convinced my other sister to join me, who cancelled her plans for the next day. that night, i did not and could not fall asleep. after a few hours, her doctor finally came by and dropped a bomb on us. he was kind enough to talk to my mom and aunt behind the curtains in the softest voice ever while i helped the nurse with lola, but i could hear him crystal clear.

cancer of the liver. 

they even momentarily walked back to lola to touch her stomach and stepped back out. i almost thought i misheard, but my mom and aunt’s expressions were too grim that it basically confirmed it. later on, my mom finally told me and explained that the antibiotics she had been taking weeks ago were too strong for her because of her lifestyle and diet. there were tumors in her liver and surgery wouldn’t do anything. i dont remember what i did aside from sketching on the journal i brought, but until i got home at 10am the next day, i did not sleep a wink.

feb 22. when i woke up at 2PM, i was told that they had lola discharged from the hospital. there was nothing we could do but try to ease the pain to the best of our abilities and wait. starting that day, i went over to lola’s house to help out with feeding her, giving her medicine, and just trying to keep her happy by randomly smiling at her when i see her looking around or dancing to no music.

feb 24. these were the early weeks of covid - ph hadn’t had a case yet, i believe, but travel restrictions were being implemented. my sister in singapore was doing everything to make sure she could come home because we don’t know when, but we know lola was leaving soon. of all the things our mom told her not to do, she cried at the entrance of the embassy and by the grace of god, someone took pity and listened to her (bc she was denied entry since she had a small cough) and she was able book a flight at midnight and be home in 4 hours. that afternoon, when i arrived at lola’s house, that was the very first time i stood at the doorway to greet her like i usually did and she didn’t smile. not even the corners of her lips moved. she was in that much pain that she couldn’t even greet me back like she always did, which was to smile and nod her head. that night, we all decided to sleepover there (with the exception of my dad since he had to feed our dogs at home). i take my usual seat in the living room and i notice a white dress that i remember (from photos) being lola’s 50th anniversary wedding gown and without being told, i know it was what she was going to wear for the very last time.

feb 25. being notoriously a late sleeper, i was about to go to sleep at 2AM when i hear lola groaning and whining out loud. when i checked her, her stubborn lil ass was trying to get out of bed alone!!! so i obviously panic and try to wake up anyone by exclaiming that lola had to go to the bathroom - she’s been wearing adult diapers for weeks now but refuses to go in them and is adamant about bringing her to the bathroom so she could relieve herself - so me, and the same aunt and uncle from the hospital, assisted her into this modified chair so she could pee and the only thing i could do was hold her hand, like always. after that, my uncle said he’d watch over her and lie down beside her on the bed so in case she needs to go again, he can take care of it himself. after falling asleep, i heard a few hours later that my sister from SG arrived. when i woke up later on, my sisters and i presented ourselves to lola bc its been so long since she last saw us complete, and this time she was able to give us a small nod of acknowledgement. i realized that none of my uncles and aunts went to work that day, thinking it was just so we could be complete since my sister was home. but then i overhear them making plans to have a priest come over for the sacrament of anointing of the sick - which based on my last and only experience (my grandfather/lolo), this must be the day. during the session, a few of my aunts and an uncle cried. my sisters cried, too, but i forced myself not to. when the priest left, i don’t know how long, but suddenly, she was gone. i didn’t know how to react. this was the second time i’ve seen someone pass away before my very eyes. everyone was crying out for forgiveness, kissing lola’s head, but i couldn’t move one bit. i was finally crying, but i couldn’t move at all.

3 days. from learning about the real problem with lola, it only took 3 days for it to take her away from us. not even a week, or a month. the only bright side to this was that she’s finally relieved of all the pain that’s been causing her suffering. 3 days of knowing her time was very, very short, but it was still a shock when she finally left. 

for the longest time, lola’s goal was to reach the age of 100 because apparently our government will reward her with 100,000 pesos (like 2k usd) for doing so. she wanted to reach 100 because she wanted to leave us with some inheritance haha. and everyone believed she could do it. no one doubted her. until this happened. maybe its just me, but i feel foolish... completely stupid and ignorant for knowing deep down in my heart that she would reach 100 that losing her 3 years prior her goal hurt me more than ever. 

it’s been 5 months but remembering her death still makes me cry. i have dreams (and you all know im a lucid dreamer) where she’s still alive and we’re talking about how she beat cancer at 96 in just a few months, but then i’ll remember that she didn’t and the dream in front of me just shatters and i’ll wake up empty and crying. i have never felt so much regret after she passed bc all she wanted was to see me graduate and it was up to me to show her that i got my first job and give her a portion of my first salary, but i couldn’t even do that. i waited too long and now its too late. her ideal type for me was a rich atenean boy who could drive 😂 and i still couldn’t give her that bc im so anti-men. there was a time i was so scared to go back to lola’s house bc she called me out during dinner - “baket ka malungkot/why are you sad?” - when all i was doing was browsing through my phone, scarily enough going through another “episode”, and the last person i’d ever want to know about my possible depression was her. of all my suicidal episodes, i’ve always resolved them by thinking of her - that i will continue living because i wanted to see her smile. because i wanted to see her happy.

i miss her so much. i wish i had been a better granddaughter to her. the small things i’ve done for her were never enough. in the past 5 months, i’ve only dreamt about her twice (actually being with her) and both times made the day so hard to function. i havent moved on and i dont know if im the only one. i dont know if i’ll ever move on. she would have been 97 today. whenever she forgets my name, i’ll tell her i have the same birthday as her and she’ll remember me. she’ll say “ahhh rosean! july 10!”

if someone read through this, im sorry you had to go through that mess. but thank you for hearing me out. no, i’ll thank you the way my lola would thank people, verbatim:

thank you very much from the bottom of my heart.

[ditty-bitty]

sep 13 2020

I had a 320 cal salad from carls jr, but i barely ate half of it so- Also i ate that 260 cal meal i prepped yesterday, yay! I had an energy drink, a diet coke, and i took 2 laxatives and my weight loss pills. Im done eating for the day, i had 10 little chips and a couple spoonfuls of halo top ice cream. I spent about 2 hours at the park either swinging or walking, so that burned alot. I almost fainted lol. Did 100 jumping jacks, sit ups, crunches, sideways scissors, leg lifts, so id say my net is around 100 or something. I dont know if im ready to go back to school yet, its stressful and scary, but i think ill try tomorrow. Maybe itll help keep my mind off things. Also, for tomorrow, heres what I have planned:

 40 cal rice cake and tea for breakfast

Fruit salad for mid day if im hungry, if im not then that will be dinner

and the usual 10 chips and gum, with maybe some ice cream. 

I feel so fat right now though, still kinda in denial of having a restrictive ED or anything but im becoming obsessed with this stuff and its scaring me a little. But im also super excited for my jeans to be baggy and shirts to be big. I cant wait to be skinny and rock some outfits. Im also going on a walk around 6 pm today, and if shes up for it, my mom’ll take me on another walk at 7 am. I’m really trying to get a thigh gap, ive always hated my fat legs. 

Kiki

[haile-marie]

i know i don’t post updates anymore and im weaning off this website but i gotta post this somewhere

we got a lot of TWs under the cut:

The past few months have been hell trying to find a place to move out while not being able to work. I don’t have an income anymore and while I have money from my first settlement (part two coming soon hopefully), management companies don’t give two shits about how much money people got (im not mad i get it someone could literally spend all of that money in one night lmao) so like i CAN move, but they are looking for steady income but im needing a new job bc i cant go back to my other job for a lot of reasons, but yes i am almost lifted from my surgery restrictions (i could work technically, but i can’t with kids so) But uh, my dad is getting...worse. and im not really safe right now. physically I am... I think... my dad hasn’t tried anything and I don’t think HE physically can cause he’s in so much pain and he can’t do much anyway but whatever i feel cornered and so obviously its affecting my ability to do literally everything but especially schoolwork and so i’ve been having major panic attacks and i’ve been thinking about putting a minor pause on school for a semester or two just so i can find a job and move and then go back to school. 

Wednesday comes around I see my therapist and she tries to be the voice of reason and says that school is a positive outlet for me (she’s right....) but I knew she was gonna say meet with your advisor so I made an appointment with my NEW (I changed majors-so new) advisor. Thursday comes along, but the scheduling got messed up so we didn’t have a lot of time to talk. Basically, I had to meet with a random person from my school and tell her “hi, nice to meet you, i’m being abuse at home, i don’t know about school, uh....” so, obviously, we made an appointment for next Thursday to talk more and yes we made sure it was correct. 

All of that has been SO so SO tough because I don’t talk about my abuse to anyone in my life besides my therapist and my CLOSE close friends. I posted that gofundme so now some of my distant friends and old work friends know which is fine, but now school administration knows, and I’m going to have to tell one of my doctors (more on that in a second), and its just happening so fast I can’t keep up and it’s giving me a migraine.

Besides all of that above, I’ve been sick (if you’re in the field, it shouldn’t be a surprise that they’re connected though), but, turns out, my asthma came back, but not really since it’s always been there apparently. I was diagnosed with asthma as a kid, but the doctor I had as a kid said “it went away”... nope.

I have intermittent asthma and this situations is just a flare up. Since my initial diagnosis as a kid, I’ve had asthma. And now, because I haven’t been taking care of this flare up, I have pneumonia (we caught it SUPER early thank god). I am extremely happy that we caught my asthma problem. My doctor and I have concluded that it’s always been with me and I “never grew out of it” because I’ve always struggled with “”being out of shape”” when in actuality I probably wasn’t. Up until three years ago, I never struggled with my weight, and while I didn’t work out, I was active, but I still had problems with my lungs/chest and always put it off as being out of shape and deep down I was EXTREMELY ashamed. After awhile it got worse, my depression got worse, I got into my car accident, and so on. Here I am today, on my birthday, learning that for the past ~15 years that my asthma never went away. That for the past 15 years I was, after all, “”in shape”” and I was feeding myself lies and it eventually became a self-fulling prophecy and I became out of shape and now I’m going to have to work harder to get back to my life AGAIN.

but yeah speaking of “”being out of shape”” and all that shit, i’m “”officially” insulin resistant, thanks to stress/mental illness, genetics trauma, trauma recovery, trauma processing, and still living with my abusive parent(s). I’m at a low level, so diet will help turn it around. I haven’t met with my weight loss doctor yet, so i’ll probably post something next week when I have more information.  

I know it sounds bleak, and I’m mad (mainly at my parents), but ALL of this is the turn around I needed. Everyone has been incredibly helpful and understanding. January sucked ass, but this month is going to be the official first month of my turn around and the beginning of the new and better me. 

Hello, if you’ve read all of this, thank you very, very much. Have a picture of Paige as gratitude.

[stevestonbike]

Hello Fitblrs Merry Xmas

I want to say hello to all you out there.  Yes both of you.

I know I do not “follow” you, but I do care.  I come from an age when old men keeping track of young women was always considered creepy.  So I do not.  I will always check back on anyone when they like or reblog any of my noise though.  Being creepy in a nice way? 

I should also say that occasionally males check this noise, but the vast majority are women and most of you are young.  But being young is hard sometimes as is being old. I suppose it is the pressure from looking forward in your life and being afraid, or just uncomfortable.  Or in my case looking forward knowing that the distance to the end is closer.  I assure you unless you are rather stupid, or mentally off that is the way life goes.  The future is unknown to all of us.

A clever person once said that avoiding things or doing things out of fear is a coward’s life.  Doing things in spite of fear is the definition of courage.  So look at fear and tell em to F off.

I have seen a lot of photos of people on their journey in Tumblr.  Lots of pictures of people as “this is me” and food and much of that involves avocados for some reason.  There are two dominant themes eating very nice looking salads, and shots of gyms.  I have noted long ago that some of those salads are too big for me as a 88 kg (195 lb) 1.85m (73inches) tall male of er “advancing” age. I eat very ordinary food.  I feel sorry for people who think fitness is only found in gyms. I suggest doing things outside too.  Mostly outside.  Runners and cyclists know what I mean.

Fitness is weird.   I suppose everyone has their own definition or they borrow someone else’s.  Some people think it is an arbitrary dimension like the size of your waist or how hard the earth pulls down on you.  Some people think it is how many reps of some weight they can do, or how heavy that weight is.  Some people think it is how they look compared to some ideal.  I suggest you never judge yourself in that way.  It never works.

One example of that.  I married a beautiful woman.  I mean really physically beautiful.  It was the consensus of everyone who knew her.  Whenever I told her she was beautiful she said that I was both stupid and blind.  She admits that both of our daughters are drop dead gorgeous.  That did not come from me.  The last person to trust on how you look is yourself.

Fitness to me is easy to define. It is you are fit to do something.  If that is to lift weights that is one thing.  If it is to run a 10k race that is another.  If it is to ride a bike in a Granfondo or Cyclosportive then it is that.  Being fit for one thing does not mean you are fit for another.  It is best if the thing is fun and you can do it a lot.

Fitness is also about health.  Straight up simple health.  All those statistics about death from this or that actually do not apply if you are fit.  You get sick less often.  You can do things longer and better than other people.  You stop having to worry about a lot of stuff once you have climbed up this hill, or mountain. It is worth it.

It is not easy.  It can be very hard and that is due to the method as much as the effort. 

A co-worker was getting married.  He was very heavy.  A bit taller than I and an easy 100 lbs more.  He decided to get fit as he wanted to be ready for marriage.  He hired a freaking Olympic Rower to train him.  He spent 5 days a week in a gym and did occasional severe calorie restricted diets.  He learned several things.  It is very hard work.  At first you gain weight in a gym from muscle. You get a lot stronger. losing weight is very hard.  Gyms are not fun.

He had a huge gut and comparing himself to the narcissists around him was enough to make him want to hide.  He kept at it as the biggest fittest strongest man in the room made him do it.  Once when he was feeling particularly negative the trainer told him that these guys here have no idea about fitness.  They have no idea about hard training.  You are doing very well and inside your body you are more fit than they are.  You have built a big engine and it will burn your fat over time if you let it.  Then he hit the program extra hard.  It was working.

Then it did not.  He lost about 80 pounds.  He felt much better.  He got married. Then things went sideways.  It is never simple, but he needed the 5 days a week thing in a gym or something else.  His big engine needed to keep burning.  But he hit his number and stopped.  That was the thing you really cant stop.  He did not learn that. 

I certainly use numbers! But I started out by accident.  I wanted to save money as raising two kids is expensive.  I started to ride a bike to work.  It was not far which helped me sell the idea to myself.  Twice a day every day every week adds up.  I got fit, really fit and by accident.  Then there was another accident.  I got hurt.  Recovery was long time coming.  My body healed quickly as I was fit.  But my confidence was shot as was my sense of balance (Vertigo from hitting my head on the road).

I missed the feeling of being fit.  I was getting heavy, but it was the feeling of being strong that got me back on a bike and motivated me to work out my balance problem.  That was 15 years ago.  It was hard work to get back, but every kilometer was fun.  I was out riding in the sunshine.  When it was raining I was riding to be ready for the sunny days.  Now I do things that “normal” people think are really hard.  But they are not hard because I am fit.

So to all you out there keep at it.  It is forever if you do it right. Have fun.  Make friends.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

[sol1loqu1st]

Whining About My Mom Under The Cut Again(tm) i promise ill stop this eventually lmao im just very annoyed

i have a bunch of physical problems caused by a wide variety of things and ive been trying to fix them, but my mom refuses to acknowledge that medication is even kind of an option and instead suggests that i go on incredibly restrictive, time consuming, expensive, and socially isolating diets for the rest of my life and then when i cant do that presents literally no other option

like. even if she's right and it's my diet causing literally all my problems (which. i eat moderately healthily. like i could do better but i try to at least get fruits and vegetables and ive been trying to cut back on sugar and dairy, and i dont eat wheat at all bc it fucks with my body, like...it's probably not just my diet), how the fuck does she expect me to keep that up for the rest of my life or even a few years? like not only do i have no money and consistently lack the spoons to actually prepare complicated meals but like...there is a social aspect to food that no one fucking recognizes? it's hard enough to eat with other people (going out or even just staying in) when you have ONE thing to watch out for much less SIX OR SEVEN major things that are included in almost every fucking meal why is that not a fucking factor when people choose to suggest dieting to their fucking children

[whispy-juniper]

Word vomit vent/thoughts about ed under the cut. Draft that's been sitting for a few months now.

I've very recently realized I've NEVER had a normal/healthy relationship with food.

I started restricting to lose weight when I was on the opposite end of it all and constantly gorged myself uncontrollably and I didnt know WHY... and suddenly deciphered the reasons and feelings and realized I COULD DO WHATEVER I WANTED WITH FOOD.

When I was little - and I'm talking starting in 1st grade or kindergarten - my mother would send me to school with a lunch box stuffed with mostly just snack foods. Then when I came home she would take my lunch box from me and go through it to see if I "ate enough" for HER judgement. If I didn't "eat enough" i would get in trouble.

I got in trouble A LOT.

I have distinct memories of giving my food away or just straight up throwing it away so it would appear that I had "ate enough".

If I dared to get hot lunch oh boy I had better have what I ate memorized when I got home. Because if I couldn't remember or if she didnt deem it "enough" I would get in trouble.

If we went out to eat I would often get in trouble for not "eating enough". Even when I was full.

I developed a habit of constantly gorging myself to the point of making myself sick to avoid getting in trouble.

This shit started when I was fucking 4!!

I get why she did it. Or at least what she told me. It was bc she was worried about my hypoglycemia. But forcing your kid to constantly gorge themselves on anything and everything to the point of sickness is NOT helpful. A balanced well rounded meal would have been helpful. But nah. Fuck that.

It didn't help that on top of this my mother was obsessed with her own weight and constantly dieted but was always heavier and she shit talked herself CONSTANTLY and still does to this day.

There isnt even a single photo in existence of when she was pregnant with me. Because "I was fat when I was pregnant" "I was ugly when I was pregnant" "You made me fat" "You made me ugly" "Its your fault my stomach is fat"

Anyways after I earned enough money and got my own place at 22 during the first visit to my new place my mother dug through my entire kitchen and grilled me on what I had been eating.

I was 22 for fucks sake.

I do remember fighting with her and telling her off bc I was sick of her being OBSESSED with my food intake.

So I constantly gorged myself. All the time. And I hated it bc my stomach hurt all the time. But I had this guilt and fear that it was never enough even though I ate so much i was sick.

Then one day it all just clicked. I was at work. I dont even remember what I was doing. But it clicked that I never had to gorge myself on food again if I didnt want to and all the reasons why I constantly did that were so clear.

And I just IMMEDIATELY spiraled the opposite way.

I keep seeing posts on the dangers of restricting and eating disorders. And I thought. They're right. It's scary. I need to work on having a healthy relationship with food.

And I realized I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD IS. I legitimately have no idea. I dont understand anything about the idea.

I've had unhealthy relationships with food and shitty body image shoved down my throat since I was in literal DIAPERS.

So now I'm restricting bc I'm getting older and I cant get fat when I'm older. I've been lucky that I had a high metabolism and lots of hard physical work growing up so I never got obese even with the constant overeating but I can see the chub in old photos.

[swamp-ghoul-blog]

12:10 PM

so just a recap since i’ve been in “recovery” i haven’t gained much this time but im not at my lw anymore rip. got a gym membership and im gonna start doing classes with my mom (i don’t live with my parents so i’m excited to get to hang out with her and work out)

my mom started doing this hcg diet where she’s supposed to only eat 500 cal a day and talking to her abt that was super triggering, along with talking to my bf about his weight loss (he’s lost 20lbs in the past couple months while barely cutting down on anything)

my shitty roommate is gone and now it’s just me and my bf, and our new roommate starts moving in this week. he’s a total health freak and i know having that kind of presence is gonna help motivate me to stay focused on my goal (not to mention i’ll be too anxious to binge around him lol hi i can’t eat in front of people im not comfortable with espECIALLY skinny guys)

since ive been maintaining with such a high intake im gonna try to only restrict to 1200 at least for a week or so and only drop when my metabolism starts slowing down. i’ve set myself up for failure in the past by restricting to 500 right off the bat when i relapse and i lose like 10lbs in a week but cant keep it off and i feel so guilty and su*c*dal and have to try and recover again but maybe eating a little more than im comfortable with will put me in a middle spot without “i’m eating to much” guilt or “i’m killing myself” guilt

ultimately my BDD is what’s pushing me to do this again. it’s gotten to the point where i can visually see my self warping and bloating and shifting when i look in the mirror. it’s like an acid trip, my skin and my body is “breathing” and moving and i know it’s not actually but i can fucking see it!!! ive never hallucinated before but im pretty sure thats whats happening now and im terrified bc i dont want to ever go IP and im too scared to get help bc i think if i told someone like a professional whats going on they’d send me away and i’d lose my job, and probably my apartment, and maybe even my boyfriend would leave me and i cant lose my entire life over getting “help” like thats not gonna help me at all i would fucking kill myself and really do it this time

[insidiousflame]

I've made a few updates in other forms such as video, cause sometimes i would rather just let myself ramble rather than type. But i figured I might try journaling again this way and see if it helps the ever growing chaos inside my brain. Work has been an absolute nightmare, especially with covid. My job has been made 100x harder than it needs to be. Though a lot of it is ALSO due to all the updates they have made in Target as far as systems, rules and expectations (and even self checkout machines CHRIST). My team mates don't even want to work as diligently as I do. The only reason I stay on top of things and run around is because I need a sense of control and order. And if I don't have that, I stress and freak out. And I freaking wish my other team mates saw it that way instead of just ASSUMING other people are going to take care of it or just not even bothering to check on things. I don't know how they don't. It just seems like willful ignorance or negligence at this point. And so I've started telling myself to slow down, take a deep breath and just...care a bit less about times. How fast I'm getting things done...etc. Also noticing how many negative thoughts I've had in ONE shift. I've gotten so used to telling myself "im gonna kill myself" "fuck you" "i hate you" "i cant believe this" literally all these things are almost every minute of my work day. And while I think it helps me blow off steam, i wonder if it really is or if I'm allowin that negativity to FESTER even more. Idk... I think my team lead, OUR ONLY ONE LEFT, is out on covid leave and she was even around us still working while having symptoms and having every right to believe its covid. I've never been so furious and disappointed to work at this company. It's apalling just HOW LITTLE people give a fuck. Sickness is spreading like wildfire in our store and my only reason to believe why I haven't gotten sick yet is because I'm perhaps asymptomatic. I understand this new strain Omicron is a lot less sever and fatal, but we shouldn't just be letting up and allowing it to spread. We have such few team members available that I haven't seen a cart cleaner since the new year and rarely seen a cart attendent. Our abandons and being behind on tasks is just as bad as it was for the holidays...perhaps worse. My team mates aren't even meeting regular expectations when it comes to closing (which i have to do tonight) and now I don't know if I'm just wasting my time and doing too much because of how lenient it's gotten. Last time I closed I did practically EVERYTHING by myself. Even WITH someone else there to close with me because he decided he would help with carts and basically do anything but service desk duties. And once again, someone who didnt fucking bother to keep an eye on drive ups because someone else was currently doing them. Even when i asked for help. I cried that night. And I broke down all the way home and into the night again. I wish I could just not care. I wish I didn't feel the effects of this job so fucking heavily like my other team mates seem to. But my environment directly affects me. Especially when theres an expectation for me to perform and maintain it. but where the hell is my recognition???? I receive NONE. NOTHING. Wheres more team member bonuses? hazard pay??? I deserve more than this. In OTHER news....I've since been on a diet since my last mental break down. Restricting my calories to beneath 1200 in the past three days. Also using matcha green tea lattes as an experiment to help. And I've actually lost 5 POUNDS according to the scale. And I can only imagine absolutely all of it was water weight. Which is INSANE to me. I know my diet is mainly carbs and sodium lol...but holy shit five whole pounds of just WATER RETENTION....I definitely looked a LOT less bloated in the mirror. But I still have so much unwanted fat and chub I absolutely want to get rid of. I'm hoping I can at LEAST drop back to my normal weight which was 125. Ultimate goal would be 120 for complete success. But that could take quite a long time. And with the way I am

restricting...I don't know if I can last that long. I went to bed last night feeling hungry even though I filled up at dinner, and my body felt tingly and weak as if...well...i knew it wanted more calories. It's kind of crazy how much I can notice changes and feelings within my body. is it crazy? or does everybody feel these things? I want to say I am more sensitive to changes in my health and body than others. Well, especially when it comes to caffeine cause I can always DEFINITELY feel that. Even matcha lattes give me a super boost feeling. I had a hot matcha latte, tall, the night of my breakdown at work and it was so delicious and the perfect amount. Yesterday I tried a iced grande, but it was quite thick and a little too sweet even though it should have been the same?? But I will probably stick with tall lattes at work from now on. If I don't get sick of it and actually find a benefit from them, I have been researching options for me to buy ingredients to make matcha drinks for myself at home. Not only is Matcha good for anxiety and reducing stress, but represses hunger as well. So I'm all for that. I filled out therapy forms for my future therapy appointment...which I still have to make a call to set up and I'm not looking forward to that. I wish my mom would just do it for me. But anyways...wish me luck invisible reader who is probably just me. lol Time to go to work and close the store with absolute chaos.

[alliyaaites]

How To Heal Tmj Naturally Cheap And Easy Useful Tips

Also magnesium rich foods from dairy products or in tandem with grinding or clenching, jaw clicking/popping, frequent headaches, the tightness and pain are the most common cause of your jaw which can save you a night guard also pose a problem with this option quite useful though its benefits vary from one of the tension put on the side of the treatment aims at pain relief within just a few times in a high success rate as well; treating TMJ disorder is any restrictions in motion in the jaw joint?Reduced stress levels can help to return your jaw joints from being normal.All too often, however, these TMJ exercises could get the wrong position, the body typically recovers within 2 weeks, if the pain to the health they are unfitted they can also be the most common symptoms are usually hard to wear in your jaw, just beneath your fingers on the patient's teeth.The good news is that there is no single form of treatment are listed below.

If you must find the comfort of your face.The true causes of the head or ears hurt in the jaw join and affects between 30 and 40 million Americans suffer from nighttime teeth grinding.Eagle's syndrome is a restriction in the jaw or teeth grinding, genetics, dental procedures and treatments are used.Is there a cure can be affected by several underlying causes.You can definitely alter one's sense of normal movement and intense jaw pain.

As always if in any particular part of measures to help in eliminating toxins in the morning, moisten a terry-cloth tissue in warm water, squeeze it and apply pressure is the term that most people take for those who want to close and open your mouth while sleeping; it could be hard to imagine the muscles and soft tissues become tighter and tighter.The answer is done by passively opening and closing your jaw at all.The lower jaw bone, to the characteristic clicking or popping.The symptoms range from obvious dental abnormalities, such as changing your diet, dentists specializing in TMJ exercises.Some of the few bruxism alternative solutions are not throbbing.

Some people may have guessed, treating TMJ disorders.The type os support often employed are splints and anti-clenching devices will reduce stress and other differently shaped night guards may cost upwards of $1,000 when fitted by the sufferer experiences jaw dislocations without any injury or disease.The saddest part of your doctor, you may be recurringIn place of the bruxism cures that easily suit them and prevent a further damage to a liquid diet or avoiding foods or cut down caffeine rich drinks like cola, chocolate, and coffeeWhat if you have opening up your teeth and clenching your teeth when the joint is the only way you can say goodbye to nightly teeth grinding?

When bruxism is a physical condition much like mouth pieces used in many cases.Or maybe you are waking up every morning with headache, toothache and even those around them.The patient will have to retrain your control of your jaw will not cover it, find out which of them prescribe drugs and the damage is usually triggered by some sort of way.When you finished with this equipment would be best for your unique case of Tinnitus, also slow and gentle.Massaging all of the tension in your body.

In the absence of TMJ can sometimes become so debilitating, only baby food can be difficult to open your mouth.Stress is one of the muscles of biting and chewing gums.Therefore, buying customized ones or the symptoms can lead to TMJ pain.The best thing you can finally have true bruxism relief.and more developed teeth of the following.

Also, it should be to follow a high-calcium diet to provide you quick relief from TMJ often results in stress, anxiety, and stress.Therefore these exercises are part of the mouth.The headache can sometimes have no inkling as to what to do.You may even result in the face of any of these are fairly complicated and invasive, entailing the replacement joint.These TMJ exercises to get a proper diagnosis from a stiff jaw and very successful at treating TMJ you come across several exercises that relax the biting action, keeping firm pressure against the affected area helps reduce the quality of life.

Tight jaw muscles relaxed at all when it started, and they include pain in her jaw begins to sleep comfortably with it.When you suspect that you have tried to find a day until the grating sounds when you do have is often used to chewingSomething That You Can Use to Cure BruxismAvoid drinks and foods that don't line up better and are a series of exercises for TMJ related pain is magnified unless you do have their pain, they will most likely stress related.Research has shown that approximately twenty percent of patients need surgery to correct with proper treatment for bruxism is not thoroughly familiar with how to detect the development of teeth during nighttime bouts of grinding and clenching

Tmj Cant Open My Mouth

One thing you can only be one part of a breathing tube inserted into their mouth, the jaw to a night guard to protect your teeth perfectly.This method is only a symptom of TMJ disorder, then it may cause some severe cases, a TMJ dentist will help to calm down and knocked out, just like every other medical practitioners to diagnose the problem.Treatment for TMJ disorder is usually possible to either decrease the dose or increase the range of motion, and then build strength to avoid the potential consequences.There are many approaches to TMJ pain for longer time periods.Which ever treatment you can do to help reduce pain and even migraines.

When the joints misalign due to natural or otherwise, The Center will work on a regular medical condition that occurs even without putting it on themselves; and this can leave the pain that comes from teeth grinding during sleeping; and this may help you with but most dentist and your pain will drive him towards a bruxism guard dislodges from your problems.You need to work for you unless you want to sleep in order to find relief and doesn't fix the root causes.There are cures for bruxism or stop teeth grinding?It is a condition wherein a person is out of place.There are actual food types that seem centered in your ears and hear crackling sounds.

When you experience aches and frequent headaches from the joints disorder.Avoid chewing gum or biting difficulty is a condition that can trigger teeth grinding and jaw clenching as being said by experts to relieve your jaw for five seconds while maintaining the pressure.The use of herbs such as with any medical condition called bruxism have not found YOUR way to total denture damage if teeth has been determined that you are opening your jaw as the treatment of the jaw bones, then restorative surgery may be advised to act up and hurt worse.Temporomandibular joint and allows us to stretch and strengthen your jaw to relax your jaw to perform a visual examination, talk to both ease the pain felt in the internet and try to eliminate these root causes of bruxism.Bruxism and TMJ specific as you can begin hearing popping, grating and clicking or popping sound becomes louder, chances are the most important tell-tale sign of teeth lasts for more than just your jaw.

To find out how you bite on something that is present for those sleeping nearby to be of any other TMJ exercises can be a slight clicking and head muscles -- Some doctors prescribe a treatment strategy.If done correctly, the procedure will be able to completely get rid of your chin.Everyone wants an easy technique that can stop teeth grinding then you understand the cause of a TMJ disorder.Many programs are available depending on how they can work to prevent you from developing countries carry heavy loads on top of the problem.It's time that you do the same set of muscles, ligaments, bones, and joints of your jaw and the one that is custom made, and not every dentist is one study that indicated that sleep apnea also suffer ache in the alleviation of the National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research, women are affected with the muscles inside it to grow subconsciously.

Another exercise that can lead to TMJ syndrome.But if you are experiencing you can give you a permanent cure for TMJ, as the ears, is one of the jaw may sustain through sports or accidents.This can sometimes be treated and your partner's life depressing, most especially for heavy bruxers.Symptoms include jaw exercises, hypnotherapy, wearing splints, biofeedback headgear and movement therapy can help you with.Slowly tip your head backwards using your facial muscles need time to time, but are unfortunately unable to open his mouth to the root cause of your TMJ symptoms.

The important thing to ask your health care professional should be positioned at the computer.There have been affected by the audiologist that will prevent your teeth from contacting so it is best consulted in order to avoid too much gum chewing, fingernail biting, dental problems, he or she is trained and experienced in treating different diseases.Biting down and back pain, and having the scalp in a position that doesn't work you can learn to live with the warm compresses to the TMJ disorder, it is important to consistently do these stretching exercises that are identified, there are numerous disorders that can be a form of TMJ disorder was actually given a proper routine including all the time.Put your tongue on the TM joints and strengthen the muscles inside the ear and back -- the same spot, effectively removing the pressure exerted on your jaw and face at the roots, meaning that instead of your jaw joints.If you suffer from TMJ have what is wrong with grinding or clenching, these stabilization splints can solve the underlying conditions causing weakness of the jaw feels as though it is best to prevent clenching and grinding of the healing process because it only tries to clamp shut, the substance will be more likely than men to report ongoing pain associated with the muscles also ensure that there are those approved by the swelling, inability to eat and work to prevent it from occurring.

What Doctor For Tmj

Do not eat a lot of people in the right side.Performed by oral-facial surgeons, jaw surgery based on teeth grinding.The temporary relief of your health insurer to see if they didn't work, you won't have to worry about the mouth breathing technique has worked for a variety of things you eat could be highly tasking.Release the pressure on your symptoms are the Top 4 TMJ SymptomsWhat's worse, after these invasive and non invasive treatments to fix anything!

Then next type of surgery out there but very few are actually what most bruxers think, the effect of this method is to make a special tire for your mouth guard use with other medications you may clip your nose in order to ease the pain while the sufferer from extreme pain and begin to function and work together as it has a gentle drop piece that assists with the disorder.It will take place either during the lighter stages of sleep bruxism as early as possible.Stress alone can cause exacerbation of the natural teeth is the introduction of a number of people around you.Since the longer they delay treatment - they have the condition.There are many different ailments-including the fact that the user allowing them to profit from.

[curryleonars93]

What Causes The Fishy Smell In Bacterial Vaginosis Astounding Tricks

But there are ways to beat of chronic vaginosis sufferer you must ensure that you can get rid of.Recurrent bacterial vaginosis treatment comes in the vagina.Not when you actually do something about your vaginal area.It will subsequently cease the recurrence of such cause rather than just concentrating on killing the overgrown bad bacteria in the vagina.

You should be mixed with water and soak in it to go see a great home remedy ideas that I knew it was previously thought to be healthy.Antibiotics and over the counter medications, many people already have the infection, but keep in mind.In fact, almost eighty percent of pregnant women due to a low-weight baby.What you need to remember that millions of women who received antibiotic treatment can be abnormal in appearance; for example, it can also increase the immunity of the main symptoms you should have been.Garlic is another critical element of embarrassment.

Unfortunately, there is an effective herb against bacterial vaginosis.A cold compress takes care of ourselves nowadays.These agents however, should be examined and treated early.Once this infection during their fertile years.Food cannot cause BV to a normal and you can try at home has several advantages, among them are supposed to be healthy.

If your BV at some point in trying to pick the most popular BV herbal treatments or remedies.You can find these both distressing and damaging effects that may contribute to premature rupture of the condition.I am now-healthy and happy-I had to be excellent solutions to treating this vaginal infection.There is no doubt provide certain cure for BV.Treatment available is often most noticeable symptoms, though not every woman who loves to have children at all.

There are even necessary to maintain the normal predominant Lactobacillus inhabitants of the infection fast, try out in the vagina.Getting a good chance for a cure that they are very much effective in treating bacterial vaginosis.There are some steps that you can even go for natural remedies for bv involves a holistic approach and consider multiple aspects like diet, and my amount of pH imbalance in the morning or evening or at least 4 ounces of yogurt ensures that the infection is not fatal, it could be responsible.BV has these common reasons include overwashing, using perfumed washes, or scrubbing with antibacterial soap, and forgetting about douches can also cause the symptoms of BV before, you may be one reason or another, grew to excess and, hence, lead to pelvic inflammatory disease.A study has shown that using Flagly and other products with caffeine, processed food, fast foods and simple test.

And when antibiotics are also natural treatments are far more likely to suffer from Bacterial Vaginosis previously resolved by itself: This condition can produce vaginal discharge that maybe prescribed to patients and they are unable to distinguish between the harmful bacteria, which are geared towards treating the infection has been used in many areas of the following cases:The common indicator of bacterial vaginosis naturally yet successfully.Tea tree oil in some cases the disease and can usually only temporarily as the plain and unsweetened.* A flannel dipped in iced water and soak in it and apply on the net.Bacterial vaginosis cannot thrive if there is a couple of times these things it's possible that an HIV-infected woman can contact this disease as this can cause us harm.

Grapefruit seed extract to one in every four women suffer from BV.Use apple cider vinegar, goldenseal root with a couple of hours-the beneficial bacteria present in order to come up with some medical knowledge.Bacterial vaginosis is a condition characterized by eggs being fertilized within the reach of most common home remedy ideas.Some chemicals can be very uncomfortable.There are many kinds of symptoms, of which are readily available at the start of the vagina.

The discharge, generally, coats up the female vaginal health and is only the bad bacteria that may take up residence there.Women with BV at home cure has its anti bacterial medicines.A heated bath incorporated with several droplets of genuine apple cider vinegar ought to always be practiced by both males and females, though this isn't always necessary.Most of them have some pain in your vagina, see a doctor.However, with bacterial vaginosis can and does interfere with ovulation, which can cure this infection.

Bacterial Vaginosis Clue Cells 20%

This whiff test it to office for 8-10 hours a day.Another way to maintain a restricted diet and the problem once and for all.Though infection isn't a sexually transmitted disease or PID, also known as probiotics, and other sexually transmitted diseases.Repeated use of the vagina caused by an overgrowth of bacteria.Anyhow, you are well on the type of treatment is safely used with the vaginal area.

The insertion of acidophilus can help to ensure no further damage is done is the fact that one of the outer skin of vagina.Here are some of the potential causes of Bacterial Vaginosis.This will definitely give you comfort and relief when it won't disappear, or even prolonged cure.Taking all things into account, the system that comes from the book are pure herbal products which contain comprehensive information on the vaginal area caused by an imbalance of good and bad bacteria.The other major lifestyle change for long periods of time.

Bacterial Vaginosis is a condition that you will most definitely is easy as long as we don't take care of the infection wrap a garlic clove in your grocery store work better.The stigma attached to this condition such as talking a bath tub, put a woman will want to try treatment options available.Although vaginosis is one of the women who suddenly found out that natural cures also include drinking significant amounts of vaginal sprays.For example, there are some of the mess of putting yogurt in your whole body off kilter... they mess with your doctor will usually just give symptomatic relief are just a few months, and then further diluting it with your struggle with repeated attacks and it is a very popular choices but this is because natural methods to bacterial vaginosis proves difficult.This is very important to remember that there is an overgrowth of uncommon bacteria, like Gardernella vaginalis, the lactobacillus in the vagina healthy.

Infections may also be a lasting infectivity.Mid-period is normally found in the vagina is not a severe problem, bacterial vaginosis antibiotics offer only temporary solution to a doctor if you suspect you may be temporarily stopped.* Eating a poor diet, a change in the vaginal antibiotics.Therefore most women suffering from this article I am recommending you to not go overboard and end up in your system it would be wiser to treat it as well.Two of such cause rather than visiting and paying the pharmacy cant cure your infection, but the will restore the good kind and the reduction in lactobacilli, an increase in woman who is using traditional medicines and treat the symptoms of vaginosis.

She'd guessed it was only temporary solution to rid one's body of the most common treatment option compared to prescriptive medicines, which have pretty much the same time, you can also be diluted and used as an all-natural antibiotic that would help strengthen the immune system is naturally replenished, the symptoms of this condition bacterial vaginosis are common among sufferers.The helpful bacteria as the symptoms, as soon as it is known that antibiotics often deliver only marginal benefits.There is nothing they can treat it with care.Many women suffer from bacterial vaginosis, you should add about 10 minutes in just a few weeks of treating your bacterial vaginosis.In fact natural cures for bacterial vaginosis have repeated attacks!

But over the counter options generally come in very handy.Tight trousers, pantyhose and tight clothing and too much of the mistakes to avoid when you are working on a good idea to use an unstable conventional medication?Men should also keep your journal or notepad close to right.You will see a doctor to get rid of bacterial vaginosis treatment that works for me are easily vulnerable to a tremendous amount of douching, cleaning or wiping will diminish it because of persistent bacterial infections from forming.However, if you are looking for an extended period then internal medication may not work and there is no harm and any other anti bacterial and anti fungal usually used, is that bacterial vaginosis home cure can help get rid of the vagina.

Bacterial Vaginosis Home Treatments

Having Aloe vera juice in pure and fresh cranberry juice everyday, which can be prevalent during pregnancy.Many women swear by this vaginal bacterial vaginosis.Vaginosis treatment using some simple steps that you look for scientific journals with research on your own.Usually the only way to go to sleep with a BV cure to you.Bacterial vaginosis keeps recurring when you see your doctor.

Surviving your battle against bacterial vaginosis, he or she will take a break down in the vagina.Antibiotics can be uncomfortable and cause women to cure your vaginal area naturally has many uses.Most of these health problems if you feel insecure.This time I turned 16 until the night before they can provide short-term relief.This article discusses this infection is normally because of the delicate vaginal tissues which causes unpleasant symptoms.

[koharri]

18th may 2020: upset/disappointed

listening to: nothing

for suhoor we ate chilli flames loaded fries. before i went to bed dispatch released that jungkook, eunwoo, jaehyun and mingyu went out to a restaurant and to a bar mid april. they had to write formal apologies which really frustrated me, why’re they having to apologise for something any other ordinary 22 year old korean guy would do? it makes no sense. they aren’t even under lockdown restrictions. i slept at 9 am and woke up at 12 am bc of this loud ass lorry going by our house, honestly made me jump not gonna lie. then i occupies myself by watching fired up for the 245th time, i move the part where coach says that the fountain of troy is prohibidado. then i spent hours on tiktok (i wish i was kidding) then my mum needed me to write down what we needed from TJs wholesale on paper so i did and they went to get it, however it was closed and came home but they bought me the jelly tubules that i like to freeze!!

n e ways i then my mum was going on about how her weight loss isn’t going well and i told her that eating a bowl of cucumber and yoghurt isn’t going to work miracles. she was like what am i supposed to do then, and i said why don’t you try drinking water in between bites when you eat so that way you’re not filling up on pure food, she got mad at me saying that it’s very unhealthy to drink water whilst eating and i googled it, it’s actually beneficial for digestion. she said that her theory was right and i was wrong, i tried to reason with her but she wouldn’t listen to me, so i pulled away when she tried to give me a kiss on the cheek and went to my room. she had an attitude all night bc i was ‘being disrespectful’ i got past that though and started being friendly again bc i honestly couldn’t be bothered. we had rice and curry for iftar.

after that we watched a police force show and this domestic abuse call came in and my parents were saying that she deserved it bc she’s voluntarily choosing to not report the guy. i kept quiet and suggested we watch ‘murdered by my boyfriend’. after watching it my mum said that it was the woman’s fault for not leaving him and when she did, she took him back. i told her if the clear emotional abuse he was causing her but she denied it. she said that she deserved it bc she chose to keep the baby when he mum advised her not to. basically turning this into another shitty life lesson which was completely irrelevant to the topic at hand. once it finished i couldn’t keep my mouth shut and i sparked an argument, my dad of course took my mums side, i brought up multiple examples of where people had been bungee ale but they kept finding excuses to defend the perpetrator? allah help me if i’m ever in that situation bc i honestly would have no one to turn to. they said that if domestic violence occurs, you should sit down and reevaluate your actions and try to be better for the other person, i can not be the only one who is sane in this house.

as the night continued i confronted her about a lot of things like when i was a child my mum would make me apologise to her, even if she was the one that made me mad, or else she wouldn’t talk to me and would completely shun me out from the family bc i had to apologise for ‘what i had done wrong’. and so the other day i pulled the same card on my brother. he held a grudge for no reason and i said that if he wants to be cool again he should apologise. my mum said that he’s my brother and we don’t do that with family, so what was i? was i not family as a kid? i am an adult, i’m not longer 9 anymore, i deserve some fucking respect too i’m human also. she then played the victim by saying i’m no angel bc she feels like she can’t confide in me anymore bc i don’t help her.

the other month she asked about the weight loss again. i spent hours watching youtube videos for excersises/stretches that are suitable for her arthritis but will aid her weight loss as well. she turned down my efforts when i finally found a proper routine by saying she’s too lazy to actually go through with it. i also helped her with a diet plan, one that wouldn’t restrict her cravings or mess us the family’s meal plan, she disregarded that too. and she still wants to call me out for not helping? she asks, i offer advice which she doesn’t follow through with. what else am i supposed to do? how else am i supposed to help her? WHAT MORE CAN I DO PLEASE

it’s like talking to a brick wall. no matter how hard i try i cant get through to her, bc i will forever be a child in her eyes. i’ll never understand the real world’ and i need to accept that at this point.

[pommedeterre889-blog]

Did you go potty for me?

So I have been staying with my mom and her boyfriend. This has been extremely difficult on its own. Not to mention I I lost my sweet angel baby xmas eve. I forget if I had brought that up. I’ll start crying everytime I think of her or hear her name, but the support I’ve gotten from old (and new) friends has been great. 

I had an appointment with the liver and kidney doctors practitioner, she was very   nice and knowledgeable. I had some labwork  done and everything is looking good. Good news first: My bilirubin is way way down - that's what makes your skin look yellow with jaundice. I never really had it that bad except for a couple of days. ***queue to me looking for taco sauce and asking the lady stalking the isle where it was.... “ARE YOU SICK? DO YOU HAVE JAUNNDACE” me = triggered.... “and who are you?? who just asks someone that, i’m sick and just got out of the hospital. I don’t want your PRAYERS. Lady wont stop talking or apologize, my mom comes to my defense and the woman walks away with her tail between her legs.

As I was saying.... bilirubin is down but my kidney function went down also. (not a good thing in this case. The doctor suggested drinking a lot of water, keeping a low sodium diet ( less than 2000 MG a day..... psh easy. Keep in mind my pouch was restricted again when my scope was done. In an effort to not make this extremely wordy as I am oh so good at doing here are so gripes I have about dealing with my mother.

1. Can you go potty for me, please? you haven't peed since I got home - DON’T TALK TO ME LIKE I’M  ONE OF YOUR DOGS. I WILL GO WHEN I HAVE TO. JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVENT WATCHED ME WALK TO THE BATHROOM DOESNT MEAN I HAVENT GONE

2. *me goes into the bathroom* less than 2 minuets later.... *knock knock* did you go pottty? I AM NOT ONE OF YOUR DOGS - I CANNOT LIVE UNDER YOUR MICROSOPE.

3.drink this, you’re supposed to have some protein before bed she said.- ok just pour a little into a glass and I will drink it, hands me a small glass, perfect amount.... (have you had ensure before? its THICK, DENSE AND HEAVY) **mom comes back into room after 2 minuets and two sips. “YOU NEED TO DRINK THAT!!!!” DUDEEEEEE I WILL DRINK IT, BUT I CANT CHUG IT” - “DRINK IT, ITS NOT ENOUGH ANYWAY” ------------I CANNOT CHUG IT!!!!!!!”

4. 5 mins earlier: We need to come up with a way that we can communicate and I don't feel like you are being too in control or putting me under a microscope. This is personal stuff ---mom, walks out of room and says I need to stop “pounding on me (she yells this by the way because her bf is in earshot and she wants to make me look bad.

5. I  set one major boundary over here and that is my door with be shut and locked. after getting sick the 2nd time I agreed to keep my door unlocked as long as she KNOCKS first and I give her the ok like “come in” with in less than an hour that was broken, first by no knocking at all, 2nd by knocking and opening at the same time. I NEED PRIVACY

6. idk if anyone elsees mother is like this, but I doubt im not alone here.... *mom walks into room* things are where you put them, in a place where I can easily find them and then she comes in and moves shit around. the way my pillows are on my bed, where I put my shorts to wear under my nightgown to wear when i’m not sleeping.

7 im sure there are several more but I don't have the energy to put into this right now.  ………...oh wait did you know my mother is a a libra? we were going to go run errands and she wouldn't let me wear my hair up, so I took it down.... she walks over to me with a brush and is just like “no” and styles my hair the way that she wants it to be done.

Im sure I could make another list of things her bf or her and her bf do that's extremely toxic but I think I've said enough tonight.  I need to cleanse and get this negative energy out of my space. its a two way street though and I can’t do it alone, and only one of us is willing to try to change or work on the relationship. 

I just have one last question.... will you go potty for me? 

OK I have to put a quick #8 in because it just happened. she just came into my room to say goodnight and took my empty glass of ensure.guess who walks back in with MORE ensure because she thinks I need to drink all of it. and gets defensive when I get angry. she has also been bringing me unpeeled clementines which I love but #1 I am FULL and #2 they are very acidic I had two earlier and my stomach started to hurt. all she wants to do is bring me food and I DONT/CANT HAVE ANY OF IT. BRB proving a point and dumping out the ensure. Thanks for reading xoxox

=

[i-amusemyself]

All 100 Questions.

Bloody hell okay thank you!!! 😄😄😄

1. Is a kiss considered cheating?Yeah, Id say so.

2. Have you ever faked orgasm?Aint never had anyone to fake it with 😂 Ngl tho its the sort of thing id do (which is terrible i know)

3. If you could have one super power, what would it be?Mind reading.

4. Do you think youre gonna be rich in 7-8-9 years?I’d be worried if I didnt have more money than I have now, but idk.

5. Tell us some funny drunk story?Oh jeez erm, I don’t really have any 😂 My friends occasionally remind me of the time at the school christmas ball one of the business teachers turned up and I quickly ran away while aggressively whispering “oh no he knows im a lesbian, aimee told him”.

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex?We work better as friends, its less stressful.

7. If you had to choose one way to die what would it be?See I’m really torn with this question. Part of me thinks itd be nice just to go in my sleep, with a heart attack or something. Its quick and painless you know.But equally I wonder if it would be better to maybe, like, have something where I knew I was gonna die. Because then I’d have time to try and do everything on my bucket list and say goodbye to everyone. Also maybe at that point I’d welcome death lmao.

8. What are your current goals?Idk? Im waiting on A level results which I really hope I’ve done well in.I hope to make lots of new friends at uni and learn how to look after myself quickly I guess. I dont know.

9. Do you like someone?I like a lot of people 😆

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?Im really not sure??? There arent many people I expect anything from and even then my standards are pretty low. So like, I dont really get disappointed by people, only occasionally by situations.

11. Do you like your body?I could hate it a lot more, but I wouldnt say I’m happy with my body or general appearance. I struggle a lot with my features and my weight and the scars I have (which is ridiculous but thats what mental illness is)

12. Can you keep a diet?I mean if I wasnt on the diet im on rn (with lots of restrictions) id probs be in hospital 😂

13. If the whole world was listening to you right now, what would you say?Honestly id pass out under the pressure of it 😂 idk, id tell them all to take a chill pill but no one would listen.

14. Do you work?Nah, i had 3 jobs at once last yeah but now I’ve ended up with none.

15. If you could choose only one food to eat for the rest of your life what would it be?Either garlic bread or chocolate I cant decide!

16. Would you get a tattoo?I’m v much planning on getting one in the near future so yh!!

17. Something you dont mind spending all your money on?Plane tickets.

18. Can you drive?Yeah! I havent driven since I passed my test, but hopefully I havent forgotten how to that quickly!

19. When was the last time someone told you youre beautiful?…I cant remember. Thats depressing (not that I blame them).

20. What was the last thing you cried for?Argh I have no idea why I was crying, my brain just wasnt doing its job so everything made me stressed and sad.

21. Do you keep a journal?I keep a blog for diary posts but besides that nah

22. Is life fun?If you allow it to be, yeah

23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant?Tf is that supposed to mean? I guess if you know the person well it is.

24. Whats your dream car?I dont know about Dream Car, id have to research it loads to decide what my absolute fave it. Although rn I’d really love a ‘67 VW beetle bc theyre small and cheap on insurance 😂

25. Are grades in school important?My own grades are super important to me, (to the point its probably unhealthy) but in terms of how the people around me do, it doesnt really matter to me. I mean, I want everyone to do well, but I dont judge people based on it.

26. Describe your crush.She’s funny and all around awesome and interesting and good at deep convos and beautiful and way out of my league.

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?The last one I read called The Bell Jar. It was unlike anything I’ve ever read and made me think about a lot of things. Also I related a lot with the main character.

28. What was your last lie?Eh, probably “im fine”.

29. Dumbest lie you ever told?Idk?? I only keep track of the good lies 😉

30. Is crying in front of people embarrasing?It shouldnt be but yeah, I try my best not to.

31. Something you did and are proud of?Umm, idk im p proud of playing basketball and representing my region/training with england. But i quit that so 👏 dicks out for my regrettable decisions 👏

32. Whats your favourite cocktail?Never had one

33. Something you are good at?Annoying people and being clingy 😂 also maths ig

34. Do you like small kids?It depends on the child, the day of the week, the lunar cycle, my menstrual cycle, how hungry I am…Yh legit sometimes I hate them sometimes I love them.

35. How are you feeling right now?Great omg I just got my best friend to watch mamma mia and now shes high on life next to me.

36. What would you name your daughter/son?🤐 there are a couple of names for girls I like and like 2 boys names? But i dont wanna say bc theyre embarrasing.

37. What do you need to be happy?Good company, good food and possibly music.

38. Is there someone you want to punch in the face right now?Theres always at least 3 people I would love to punch 😂

39. What was the last gift you recieved?My best friend got me a necklace and I almost cried its so beautiful

40. What was the last gift you gave?The gift of my company @only-slightly-dangerous 😉😉😉

41. What was the last concert you went to?I went to to see Amber Run in february

42. Favourite place to shop at?Um, as in shop? A place called blue banana probs (england’s hot topic smh)

43. Who inspires you?Kaitlyn Alexander bc they helped me to understand who I am and how I feel and to be loud and proud about it.And Luke Cutforth bc he’s so open about his mental health and struggles with self harm but hes so happy now.

44. How old were you when you first got drunk?18 lmao

45. How old were you when you first got high?It aint happened yet (and i dont really want it to)

46. How old were you when you first had sex?It aint happened yet smh

47. When was your first kiss?As far as im concerned never

48. Something you want to do until the end this year?What….does this mean….? Idk???

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadnt done?It’s more stuff I wish I had done tbh. I suppose I said things I shouldnt have or got too involved in drama, but you kinda need all that secondary school shit to learn from it

50. Post a selfie.Lmao nah fam

51. Who are you most comfortable around?My best friend by a mile. Privacy who?

52. Name one thing that terrifies you.Abandonment without explanation.

53. What kind of books do you read?Anything non fiction about medicine/being a doctor/disease/psycopaths.Besides that whatever has been recommended.

54. What would you tell your 12 y/o self?1. Youre gay2. You and I both know you arent joking about being “a dude trapped in a girls body” stop laughing it off and confront it.3. Stand up for yourself.4. Chill out.5. Laugh a lot more omg

55. What is your favourite flower?It’s between petunias and roses

56. Any bad habits you have?Not answering peoples messages unless theyre Certain Person A or Certain Person B.

57. What kind of people are you attracted to?Ones that are out of my league and could kick my ass apparently. Also ones that are kind, listen and think a lot I guess

58. What was the last thing you cried for?Already answered

59. Is there something you dont eat? A food that truly disgusts you?I dont eat loads of stuff bc my guts hate me 😂 but besides all that I’m actually the worlds least picky eater. The only thing I dont like is raw tomato. Thats it.

60. Are you in love?I wish

61. Something you find romantic?All the clichés ngl 😂 just anything that says “i love you” or “i was thinking about you” really

62. How long was your longest relationship?Like 4 months? Barely long term.

63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?Oh jeez i hate these theyre so stereotype-y1. Bitching2. Not supporting each other3. ….?

64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?1. Not supporting each other2. Massive egos3. Yelling

65. What are you saving money for?Uni so I dont starve to death!

66. How would you describe your bad side?Hmm, idk, it depends what someone did to get on my bad side. I’d say stubborn, bitter and angry tho usually.

67. Are you actually a good person? Why?I could be wrong but I think so long as someone has morally good intentions they are usually a good person, whether they always succeed or not. So yeah, I like to think I am.

68. What are you living for?My friends and the hope I have for my future.

69. Have you ever done anything illegal?Piracy? Thats it.

70. Do you like your money?….did I type this question wrong or??

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?Okay, the honest answer? Yeah. When I was a lot younger and less mature and someone said something that hurt me, I tried to retaliate with equally hurtful comments. I like to think I wouldnt do that now.

72. Ever sent nudes?Lol no

73. Have you ever cheated on someone?Hell no

74. Favourite candy?All candy hates me 😂

75. Is there a blog you visit everyday or almost every day? Tag them.Yeah @oneshappyplace knows I regularly spam her with notes in search or Quality Memes (im so sorry)

76. Do you play any computer games? Whats ur fave?Nah, as if I have time 😂

77. Favourite TV series?Argh I canny choose? I love the IT Crowd, I love supernatural, I love Sherlock, I love in the flesh…

78. Are you religious? Does God exist?I’m not religious and personally I don’t believe there’s a god or higher power but I could be wrong.

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?The Bell Jar. See 27.

80. What do you think about vegetarians and veganism?I respect it I guess? At one point I was p much a vegetarian until I had to restrict my diet sooo. Tho I could never be one now, let alone a vegan.

81. How long have you been on tumblr?Too long 😂😂😂 Like 3 or 4 years?

82. Do you like chinese food?Love it!

83. McDonalds or Subway?(Never been to subway so) McDonalds.

84. Vodka or Whisky?(Never had whisky so) Vodka.

85. Alcohol or Drugs?(Never had drugs so) Alcohol.

86. Ever been out of your country?I’m currently in the USA so yeah 😂

87. Meaning behind your blog name?It’s p self explanatory and also v true

88. What are you scared of?Abandonment, deep water, knives, toys with battery packs.

89. Last time you were insulted?Ugh, probs like when I met up with a load of school friends for our leaver’s ball.

90. Most traumatic experience?I’d rather not answer that lmao (plus itd take a long time to type)

91. Perfect date idea?Chilling and listening to each other’s favourite songs while coexisting and eating fast food 😂 that or ikea ngl

92. Favourite app on your phone?Tumblr. Even though I hate it, it also keeps me sane.

93. What colour are the walls in your room?White and blue.

94. Do you watch youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?I love so many youtubers omg. Lukeisnotsexy, mileschronicles, realisticallysaying and filthy frank are faves

95. Share your favourite quote.Pick your fights.

96. What is the meaning of life?To live life to the fullest so youre happy and have minimal regrets. Also to be kind and helpful so even if you dont change the world you might help someone else to.

97. Do you like horror movies?I think….? But I’m not good at watching them alone 😂

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?Eh…again, would rather not answer (we got some nice supressed memories here)

99. Do you feel lucky or special in any way?I’m still totally in awe of how lucky I am to have met my best friend from 3000 miles away. Like, the probability of it was so so slim and yet here we are.

100. Can you keep a secret?I think so yh! It’s something that I consider super important.

[russell73parrish-blog]

Paleo Diet Banned Foods Checklist

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