#she called it back in 2019
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ivyblytheedits · 2 years ago
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"ID LOVE TO SEE IF HER AND STEVE WOULD GET BACK TOGETHER"
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silverspleen · 9 months ago
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Glad you're more of a dog person Farah because uh. You're never getting rid of this guy he is going to follow you to the ends of the fucking earth.
Werewolf!Alex Keller, loosely inspired by bluegiragi's Monster 141 AU
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jellicle-chants · 10 months ago
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oh GOD i just saw someone i'm subscribed to on youtube just released a video about the cats fandom....... i'm deathly curious and also shriveling up into a prune irl
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aslerixerr · 3 months ago
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Logged into this account for the first time since 2019,,,, my art has definitely improved since then 😭 also I forgot how to customise and I was only able to change my name LOL
I'm gonna recolour her but I love her design 👅 I made her to be part of a polycule with a character I bought from 77cults on insta
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orcelito · 10 months ago
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Ykno they say that grief makes time strange but genuinely everything between February 17th and now, the 29th, is just. Nonexistent.
I could not tell you what I've done on most of these days. They just do not exist in my brain.
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dirgeforworms · 8 months ago
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KINK DISCOURSE IN THE WAR CRIMES FANDOM.
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armandyke · 11 months ago
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why in this year of our lord 2024 did I just get into an argument about incest ships on twitter
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fridayiminlcve · 2 years ago
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seeing u slowly become a taylor swift hater is the biggest character development in the history of this planet not going to lie to you fam
😭😭😭���� thank you ig
#asks#anon#not gonna lie to you fam i appreciate you sending this ask but also please do not describe me as a tswift hater#i used to love her at some point. as you probably know but i have deeply moved on from her i feel#like her songs are nice but they are just. not something i would typically enjoy anymore#and also despite having swiftie mutuals even if i enjoyed her music i would strongly detach myself from the fanbase#not on tumblr not really just in general. fans theyre so invasive and give me the ick especially thr hardcore ones#and her music is deep if u read into the lyrics and she does know how to write a song but also. this online thing where people worship her#is um. in bad taste like a while back on pinterest i saw a meme which went “listening to these artists is indie cottagecore lesbian culture#and instead of like clairo who you would expect somehwere in that list. she was there#bitch you mesn the world no.2 singer after the weeknd??? swifties online are insane#i do disagree with her on quite some points also like her political silence and environment and i can admire her as a singer songwriter#but its like how far can you go. you have the influence. she did that equality act petition in 2019 so we can see that#i would not call her overrated as i believe her music is generally fine but its not revolutionary by any means#she didnt bring anything new and unheard of to the pop genre except like wiping your insta page before a release#this was completely unneccesary sorry. but yeah i wouldnt call myself a hater but i dont like her much either#this was completely unwarranted you dont need to read this
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hollowfairybabybat · 7 months ago
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tarotmantic · 1 year ago
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having an absolute field day rn learning that a writeblr i beta’d for got cancelled three years ago
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lovemomhatepolice · 1 month ago
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what brought back that smile? - lando norris
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pairing: lando norris x fem! reader
warnings: kinda established relationship, fresh relationship, curious muppets!, English is my second language!
type: fluff, pure fluff
word count: 3,5k
summary: 5 times when someone asked the reason for Lando's sudden surge of happiness, but he preferred to keep his sweet secrets to himself
more content: f1 masterlist, lando norris masterlist, birthday one-shot
Since Lando Norris broke up with his then-girlfriend Luishina in 2022, no one has seen him this happy since. Of course, there have been moments where Lando walked around smiling - for example, when he won his first race in Miami or partying with friends in Ibiza. On more than one occasion, fans saw him joking and laughing until his stomach hurt with other drivers, but further down the line, everyone knew that the old Lando was gone. The one who laughed through love. The one foolishly in love, who proved it at every turn. Since his former relationship, Lando hasn't bonded with anyone - there were only rumors of fleeting romances or PR relationships. Until recently. In fact, no one knows when it took place. And since when Lando felt like a foolishly infatuated boy again.
THE FIRST TIME: Oscar Piastri When Oscar noticed changes in Lando's behavior, it was not much before the Japanese race. Or at least it wasn't so visible before. Norris was walking around smiling from ear to ear, constantly forgetting what he should do or who he should talk to about the changes in the car. No one paid much attention to it, and Oscar initially tried to ignore it as well, and winning in Miami a month later further eclipsed the spy's thoughts. After all, Lando had won his first race after so long in Formula One and so many times standing on the podium. The Mclaren drivers weren't the best of friends on the grid, but Oscar knew it wasn't because of winning the race. Or at least not just because of that.
Oscar was curious, even if he said very little about his life, the Lando case drilled him from the bottom up. And it started off small.
One morning 2 weeks after the Miami race, Lando showed up for a meeting with a goofy smile on his face. His attention was focused on everything during the strategy discussion, his mind was clearly elsewhere.
“Are you okay?” asked Oscar, poking his teammate under the table. As if awakened from his trance, Lando stopped tapping his fingers against his thigh and turned his head toward the Australian, smiling that silly grin again. “Yeah, all good, mate. “ he asked, tilting his head to the side. Oh, how foolishly charmed he was. “Why do you ask?”
Oscar shrugged. “I dunno. You just seem... happier these days. What brought back that smile?”
The question hung in the air for a long moment. Lando hung his head and laughed quietly under his breath, as if he was thinking whether he wanted to say it or rather not. And that was the option he chose, keeping his new infatuation to himself.
“Well, you know, buddy, I won a race recently. A chance to celebrate, huh?”
Oscar laughed, but couldn't shake the feeling that there was something else behind that smile, and that Lando was lying right in his eyes. Something - or someone - had brought back that trademark Lando smile. But Oscar decided to let it go for now.
Meanwhile, Lando was smiling to himself. Was it really that noticeable? Could everyone now know his sweet secret?
Such questions were cluttering his mind, but he tried not to worry about them. They were quickly superseded by thoughts of [Y.N]. It was wild how fast she had slipped into his life. What had started as a chance meeting turned into hours of effortless conversation, late-night phone calls, and a connection that had somehow brought him back to life. He hadn't felt this way since…. well, he couldn't remember the last time. And that was the point of it all.
MUPPETS: Carlos Sainz Jr Carlos had known Lando since 2019, so this year was their 5th anniversary of knowing each other. From the very beginning, the men, despite the age difference, got along great. And they soon became friends, too, supporting each other in worse and better moments. You could say they knew each other like the back of their hand, so while Lando was drifting away more and more each possible time during their conversations, the Spaniard had no more questions or thoughts. He was well aware that his younger friend's head was occupied by not something, but someone.
The sun beat down on the lush green of the golf course, the Spanish heat was unrelenting even in the early hours of the day. Carlos set up for his shot, squinting against the blinding glare, while Lando stood to the side, waiting his turn. It was a rare moment of calm before the chaos of the Spanish Grand Prix weekend, and Carlos was glad to be spending it with his best friend.
Until he saw Lando miss every time, which hadn't happened all that often before. Well, okay, Lando was worse than Carlos at golf, but to that extent?
And those constant glances at the phone, which he was so reluctant to leave in the golf cart.
“Ay, muppet. What the hell is wrong with you?” rang out Carlos' voice as he hit the ball.
Of course it flew cleanly where it was supposed to fly. But what's the pleasure of playing as your friend drills a hole in the grass with his club, his other hand constantly checking his phone screen?
"Huh?" Lando snapped out of his trance. This had been happening to him more and more often lately, nay, it had been happening to him for more than three months now.
“You’ve been smiling like an idiot all day,” Carlos teased, though his tone was softer, more curious than mocking. “Actually, you’ve been like this for weeks like not months now. So, tell me—who is she?”
Lando’s cheeks flushed pink, and he quickly turned his attention to the golf ball at his feet, fiddling with his club. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he muttered, but there was a grin he couldn’t quite suppress. And in fact, I don't think he wanted to get rid of it.
Carlos laughed, poking Lando playfully on the shoulder. “Come on, cabrón. I know you too well and it's been a long time since you've been this happy. So who's the lucky girl? Who brought back that smile?”
Lando sighed under his breath - he knew he could trust Carlos, he was his best friend. He just liked the fact that he and [Y.N] were in a closed bubble of happiness that they had made for themselves in three months. Of course it was still fresh and nothing was certain yet, but Lando gave in. To whom as to whom, but to Carlos he already had to tell. It was drilling him from the inside.
“It's … nothing serious,” Lando finally said, shrugging his shoulders as if it was no big deal. “It's just… I'm meeting someone. I'm trying to keep it discreet.”
Carlos raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. “Dude, I've known you long enough to know when you're serious about someone,” he said, and his voice became softer. “And if she makes you smile like that, I'd say it's more than a casual.”
Lando bit his lip, trying to hide the smile that threatened to break through. The truth was that [Y.N] had quickly become the best part of his days.
“Maybe,” he admitted, finally meeting Carlos' gaze. “But for now it's just … between us, sure?
Carlos clapped Lando on the back, a broad grin on his face. “I’m happy for you, hermano. And don’t worry—I won’t tell anyone. But I have to say, it’s good to see you like this again.”
They both laughed and Lando already knew he was lost. Together, with Carlos, were like the biggest gossips, so he quickly unlocked his phone, even jumping up and down with happiness, wanting to show Carlos some pictures of them together. What luck befell him when he found out that [Y.N] also loves to take pictures.
Carlos leaned closer, curious. Lando pulled out a photo from a few weeks ago - from his once-in-a-lifetime date with [Y.N]. They were sitting on a blanket in a meadow somewhere by the water, the golden sunset casting a warm glow over them. The girl's head was tilted toward him and resting on his shoulder, her eyes were crinkling with laughter, and Lando looked happier than Carlos had seen him in a long time. His hand was on the girl's shoulders, visibly embracing her closer to him.
“I want her to be the one, you know?” muttered Lando, smiling even wider when he saw the notification from her.
LUCKY CHARM: Lando's parents Lando was able to hide his fresh relationship from his friends, from his fans and from the rest of the world. But he definitely couldn't hide it from his parents and siblings. Not even a month of knowing [Y.N] had passed when he vividly talked about how much he had fallen in love and how he hoped she was the one and last woman in his life. His loved ones were damn happy to finally see the most sincere smile of his entire life on the face of this little Lando Norris.
The air around Silverstone was charged with electricity, and the energy of the home crowd gave Lando joy like no other race on the calendar. Walking through the bustling paddock, he felt lighter than he had in years. It wasn't just the thrill of racing on his own track - it was the realization that somewhere among the sea of faces there was [Y.N], watching him.
Fortunately, he managed to smuggle her into a private hospitality suite, away from prying cameras, journalists and fans. They had been seeing each other for almost four months, in truth they were not a couple, but everything was going for it. Lando wasn't the only one who was foolishly infatuated with the relationship; the girl, like him, walked around with her head in the clouds, as her university colleagues or friends seemed to notice more than once. But in her case it was easier to hide, after all, she didn't have a million eyes on her like Lando did.
When Lando entered his private area in the Mclaren garage, he immediately noticed his parents, sisters and brother, who were smiling at him from ear to ear. The entire Norris family had a close relationship with each other, so of course everyone knew about Lando's new sweetheart, whom he had been dating with for four months.
“And there's our smiling boy!” laughed Lando's mother, hugging her son tightly. The driver laughed under his breath, hugging his family one by one, fortunately in a place where the eyes of others did not reach and they could have a moment of peace. “I'm glad you're all here,” Lando said, stroking his younger sister Flo's hair.
“How could we not be here?” asked Oliver, Lando's brother, laughing under his breath.
The atmosphere was great, however, everyone knew this question would come sooner than perhaps it should?
“Well, you know what, tell us where she is,” said Lando's dad, poking him lightly on the shoulder. “You're laughing so hard, I won't believe she's not here.”
“Yes! Show us finally what brought back that smile,” said his mom, echoing her husband.
Lando felt his face heat up, but he couldn’t keep the grin from spreading. “You two don’t miss a thing, do you?” he said, shaking his head.
“We just want to meet her,” his mum said softly, eyes twinkling with warmth. “We’ve heard so much about her, and if she’s the reason our son’s been so happy lately, we’d love to say hello.”
After a moment's thought, Lando nodded. “All right. I'll bring her - but behave,” he said with nervous but excited energy.
Lando slipped stealthily out of the garage and headed for his room, which only he and a few Mclaren people had access to. Although it was a rather hidden place, [Y.N] did not complain. She could wait out the time until the race in peace, just as she could go out to Mclaren's garage and watch it there. Lando made her as comfortable as possible.
When the girl saw him, she raised her eyes and smiled warmly in his direction. “Are you okay?” she asked.
“Yes, everything is fine,” he assured her, taking her hand in his. At the same time, he forced her to get up from the soft couch. “But… there is someone who wants to meet you. My family is even dying to meet the woman of my heart.”
The girl took a deep breath and smiled. “I'd love to meet them.”
Holding hands, they returned to the hospitality. When they went inside, Lando's mother sighed quietly and immediately crossed the room to hug [Y.N]. “Oh, how nice to finally meet you,” she said, and her voice was filled with sincere warmth.
“She's beautiful,” Cisca whispered, looking at Lando. The boy only whispered a quiet “I know” and laughed under his breath.
Immediately the whole family greeted the girl, hugging her tightly and bestowing kind words on her, including telling her how happy they were that she was making Lando so happy again. And everything was somehow better. His parents and siblings were talking to the girl he'd had in his heart for several months, and everything was going smoothly. Lando was just standing off to the side, keeping his hand on her back and giving her a little kiss to make her feel better. But he was probably the most stressed one there.
Lando checked his watch, feeling the familiar pre-start jitters begin to overwhelm him. But today he felt a little better than usual.
“I have to go now,” he said reluctantly, turning to face the girl. His parents moved away to give them a moment of privacy.
“You can do it, you're amazing on the track,” she purred, placing her hands on his shoulders and gently correcting his suit.
Lando merely smiled in her direction and without hesitation placed his hand on her cheek and leaned in, pressing their lips together in a quick but tender kiss. This was not how they had imagined their first kiss, but in that moment it was their best memory and the time this kiss could have happened. Lando pulled away from [Y.N], their eyes met and they both smiled at each other, giggling under their breath.
Lando checked his watch, feeling the familiar pre-race jitters starting to creep in.
“I’ve got to go,” he said reluctantly, turning to her. His parents stepped back to give them a moment of privacy.
“Good luck out there,” she whispered, her eyes shining with pride. “You’re going to do amazing.”
Lando smiled, but there was a flicker of nerves in his eyes. “I hope so. This one’s important,” he said softly.
[Y.N] reached up, cupping his cheek with her hand. “You’ve got this, Lando. I believe in you.”
Without thinking, Lando leaned in, pressing his lips to hers in a swift, impulsive kiss. It wasn’t planned, but in that moment, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. He pulled back, their eyes locking, and they both smiled.
“For good luck,” he whispered, his voice low enough that only she could hear.
And even if he came in third place after the race, it didn't bother him much. He won something better and it was an amazing woman.
HI IBIZA: Max Fewtrell stream Max knew Lando since they were kids. Both could not imagine life without the other person, they were inseparable. Even if it didn't work out for them to be Formula One drivers by their side, it didn't change anything. They were always side by side, and as soon as Max heard about Lando's new crush, he knew this was the one. Norris had never talked so seriously and eagerly about any girl before. And Max liked to tease him about it. But at the same time, he was damn happy.
The warm glow of sunset in Ibiza paints everything with a golden sheen. Lando Norris, Max Fewtrell and their group of friends held a casual live stream at their bungalow, which they rented for the whole group of friends. This stream was definitely different from their typical ones, where they played games on two different sides of the screen, but that was good too.
Everyone was more muted than at times when they were playing and shouting at each other. However, the biggest difference could be felt in Lando. He was more subdued, gently but sincerely smiling, and his eyes shone with such happiness that you could envy him.
The stream had been going on for about an hour, and the fans didn't run out of questions. They were inundated with the same questions as always, but today they had more opportunity to answer them because they weren't stressed by the background game. Lando kept getting questions about the Championship, the races, the competition and some side silliness. Until Max caught one significant comment among thousands of others. And of course he had to ask them.
Fan comment: "Lando, what brought back that smile? It's been a long time since we've seen you so happy, and of course that's great, but what's your secret?"
Max looks at Lando with a smile and winks. "Good question," he says, leaning back in his chair. "So, man, what's been making you so happy lately?"
"Oh, you know. Life has been better lately. Beautiful weather, sunshine, we have a beach house. The break from racing is good for me too, my head isn't as busy," Lando replied, playing with his hair and smiling under his breath.
Oh how he lied, how he lied to keep his bubble of happiness calm even longer.
"Really? Gee, I guess I agree with that comment, you're somehow happier lately," said Max, glancing at Lando with a teasing look. He remembered well how Lando had talked down his relationship on the stream, but he wasn't going to do the same to him. "Or maybe you've found a hobby other than Formula One?"
"Maybe," he laughed lightly under his breath, feeling the warmth inside his body. "I guess I just got old and I'm not that rebellious 20-year-old anymore "
"Oh, it's definitely old age, you name it" Max laughed and went back to looking for interesting comments, leaving the matter of Lando's happiness. He wanted his friend to still have peace from prying eyes.
After the stream was over, everyone went their separate ways. Some decided to have a bonfire, but Lando felt he needed the solitude. He walked out to the beach, which they had right outside the gate of their cottage, and felt the cooler evening wind brush his face. He smiled under his breath when he saw [Y.N] by the shore. It wasn't a smile that the cameras could see; he reserved this one for her alone.
The girl was wearing a white loose dress that swayed gently in the wind, and her hair was tousled by the wind. It wasn't a moment before she heard him and gently turned toward him, giving him a beautiful smile. "Have you finished the stream yet?"
"It's been a while now," Lando stepped closer, feeling the sand under his feet surround him pleasantly. "I had to get away from the chaos. And the fans are getting curious, they asked what secret I have"
Girl raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Secret? What secret?"
Lando smiles mischievously and walks closer. "That I'm the happiest I've been in years." - he says in a quiet but sincere voice.
[Y.N] smiles, her eyes sparkling in the moonlight. Without another word, she steps into his arms, and Lando doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her, pulling her close. They stand there for a moment, just the two of them, the sound of the waves crashing in the background. Lando takes a deep breath and places a kiss on her hair, pulling her even closer to him. It was the peace he had needed for a long time
FIRST CHRISMTAS: [Y.N] Lando and [Y.N] had been together for almost half a year. Their lives were filled with happiness that neither of them had ever experienced before. From the first day, they understood each other like two peas in a pod, and that's how it stayed. That's why she was surprised by how happy Lando was.
The couple in love are together in the kitchen, with the countertop in front of them strewn with flour and other ingredients for making gingerbread cookies. [Y.N] is wearing one of Lando's voluminous sweaters and humming a Christmas carol, pacing next to the countertop. Lando, on the other hand, dressed in his loose Mclaren T-shirt and Christmas pajama pants, is trying to roll out the dough, but it's not going well. His hands are covered in flour and the dough keeps sticking to the rolling pin. Well, it's easier to say that his whole body is covered in flour.
"Do you need help, chef?" - asks [Y.N], leaning against the countertop and looking at him with an amused smile.
Lando raises his gaze, feigning impatience. "It's harder than it looks, sure?" - He laughs, combing his flour-dusted hair with his hand. "I thought baking was supposed to be easy."
"It's easy, you just have some manual problems," the girl laughs and moves to his side, gently taking the rolling pin from his hands. "Here, let me," she says, guiding him to the side. Their fingers brush as she takes over, a soft, tender moment.
"Sure, my baking queen," the boy laughs, looking at her with adoration.
"You could do the icing." the girl says, pointing to the already made gingerbread cookies.
Lando's eyes brighten, his smile widening. "Icing, huh? That's sounds better." He grabs a piping bag and starts filling it, but as he attempts to pipe a simple design, it all goes horribly wrong.
“Lando!” she laughs, her eyes crinkling with amusement. The icing has spilled everywhere.
He looks down at his hands, dripping with icing. “Well, that’s not what I had in mind…” He shrugs sheepishly.
“You’re adorable when you try, you know that?” She leans in and wipes a bit of icing from his cheek, her thumb brushing against his skin.
“And you’re just adorable,” he says, moving closer to her.
Lando’s hands quickly find their place on her waist, and his face is twisted into a genuine big smile. They both giggle, putting the matter of the cookies aside.
“What brought that smile again, huh?” the girl asks, touching his lips, which is also dirty with icing.
“You,” he says simply, and his voice carries a quiet sincerity that makes her heart skip a beat. "It was always you"
For a moment, they both stand in silence, the hum of the Christmas music in the background, the quiet crackling of the small fire in the corner of the livingroom adding to the coziness of the apartment. It’s a peaceful stillness, the kind that only exists between two people who’ve found something real.
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A/N: i know it's no nut november and this should be smut but i swear when i had a vision i had to write this. i hope you like it because i won't lie, i fucking love it!
please do not copy and translate my works! in case of any issues related to this - I invite you to discuss privately :)
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lqvesoph · 4 months ago
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Brother’s best friend || LN4
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gif by @princemick
summary: you’re carlos’ sister and know lando from your brothers time at mclaren but now a few years later feelings might change
a/n: this is literally just a small piece i wrote a few weeks ago
warnings: bit of suggestive talk, alcohol
taglist | masterlist
"When did he get so fine?", you whispered to Rebecca who nipped at her cocktail. "Hmm?", she asked, not having paid attention.
You nodded over to Lando who stood behind the DJ desk, white shirt and headphones on.
Rebecca smirked. "Go over", she said, pinching your side softly. You shook your head. "I can't, you know I can't. If Carlos finds out- and besides I don't think Lando would-", you stopped when you saw Rebecca looking at you with her brows furrowed and a be-fucking-for-real look.
"What??", you defended yourself. "That boy has been crushing on you since 2019, Carlos scared him away back then but I doubt he'll still listen now. He's not 19 anymore", Rebecca told you.
Your heart skipped a beat when she told you but you tried to ignore it. "He's still Carlos' best mate, he won't just betray his trust like that", you shook your head and took another sip from your straw while glancing over to Lando.
"Just get the fuck up and talk to him, it's exhausting watching you two admire each other from afar", Rebecca laughed and pushed you a little.
"Wait he's looking at me as well?", you asked, getting a little excited. She nodded. "Yes, as soon as you're not looking- now for example", she explained.
You turned your head to meet Lando's green eyes piercing into yours through the dark room of people.
You nodded, gripped your drink a little tighter and stood up.
"Hey", you called over the loud music, leaning over next to the DJ desk. Lando smirked and wriggled his brows as a way to greet you.
He asked you something but you couldn't quite make it out and only looked at him with a head shake and a lost expression.
Lando leaned over the desk so his lips were close to your ear. His necklace, hanging down from his neck, being the only thing you could focus on.
"What's in your drink?", he asked, his hot breath meeting your ear. "Vodka Lemon", you called into his ear. Lando leaned back a little and held out his hand, signaling you that he wanted to try a sip.
You knew 2019 Lando never liked alcohol, in fact you couldn't recall a time where you've ever seen him drink. But you wordlessly handed him your glass and let the boy take a sip.
To your surprise he didn't grimace in disgust but took another sip. You reached out for your glass again. "Heyy, get yourself your own", you joked.
Lando laughed and carefully handed you the glass once again, his fingers lightly touching yours.
"You ever stood behind a DJ desk?", he asked, pointing to the mess of buttons next to him. You shook your head.
He held one hand out and wriggled his fingers. "Come on then", he demanded with a smirk and led you to the side where you could enter the private space.
"It's okay, I know her", he told the guy standing next to the small entrance before pushing the hip-high door open and let you in.
"Mi amor", he joked and took your hand. You chuckled and followed him.
"It's so many buttons!", you called into his ear, gracing his cheek slightly with the tip of your nose. His arm draped around your shoulders.
From the close distance you saw his slightly flushed cheeks and glaced eyes, along with the messy curls better than before.
"Come on I'll show you", Lando laughed and handed you the pair of headphones from his head.
He carefully put them over one of your ears, leaving the other free so he could still talk to you. Then Lando grabbed your hand and placed one finger on one of the buttons.
A loud remix-like sound arised and you flinched a little because you could hear it much louder and more clear through the headphones.
"That's so cool!", you called and pushed the button again.
Lando's left arm was still wrapped around your shoulders, his right hand was holding yours and guiding you to press the right buttons in the right moments.
You didn't notice but from across the room your brother starred Lando down with his glares.
"Why is he standing so close to her? He's way too close", he grumbled, taking a sip from his straw. "Let loose, they're not kids anymore", Rebecca smiles, wrapping one arm around Carlos' waist.
"She's 20", he defended you. "Exactly, she's not a child anymore", Rebecca talked to him in a smooth voice.
Carlos nodded but a frown was still visible on his face.
"Why is he touching her like this?", he asked after a few seconds of silence, pointing to Lando's hand that was wandering lower on your back. "Carlos, stop it", Rebecca chuckled and pulled him down on the couch, next to her.
A shiver went down your back when you felt Lando's fingers pushing themselves slightly under your crop top. You leaned into him a little further.
"What are you doing?", Lando softly mumbled in your ear, his hot breath hitting my skin. "What do you mean?", you asked, acting oblivious but pushing yourself further into him.
Lando closed his eyes for a second and his grip tightened around your waist. "Darling-", he hissed. "Lando", you whispered back. "Your brother is watching us really carefully right now", he mumbled against your neck.
"Then let's leave", you suggested, your heart beating because you didn't know if you went to far but Lando's low groan gave you confirmation that he was more than okay to leave.
You quickly put down the headphones that Lando had previously placed on your head. You grabbed his hand and he immediately linked your fingers, his hand feeling warm in your own.
"Cabrón!", you heard a voice yell behind you, immediately recognizing it as your brothers.
"Run!", you whispered but reacted too late as Carlos had already grabbed Lando’s shoulder. "Where do you think you’re going?", he asked, a stern impression on his face.
"Barbados, so we can get married in secret", you replied, rolling your eyes at your older brother. Lando suppressed a giggle and raised his arms when Carlos eyes landed on him again.
"Just taking her out for a spin, I promise I’ll get her back in one piece", the curly headed driver said, standing his ground under the watchful eyes of Carlos Sainz.
Your brother kept mustering the boy until you snapped your fingers in front of his face. "Cut it off, I’m not a kid", you scolded your brother before grabbing Lando’s hand.
"We’re leaving, I’ll see you tomorrow", you yelled back towards your brother and dragged Lando out behind you.
As soon as the fresh air hit your face you turned around to face Lando, still having his hand in yours. "I heard you’re taking me for a ride?", you grinned.
"You know that was an excuse", he laughed but moved towards his car. "Figured, but I won’t pass up on the opportunity to take a ride in your Mclaren", you giggled, turning around and leaning your back against the car. "I might just use you for your car", you smiled innocently.
Lando smirked and came closer, his knee pushing between your legs and his lips almost touching yours.
"Careful, I said I’ll bring you back in one piece, I never said anything about your ability to walk", he muttered, grabbing your waist firmer and pressing his lips on yours.
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smileysuh · 2 months ago
Text
dumb frat boy
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🌙 starring. Lee Donghyuck x afab!Reader
🔮 preview. “I’d ask what you want me to do to you, but I did some research last night, watched some of that Hentaid shit you were talking about. It’s a lot of bondage, isn’t it, Angel? A lot of… creampies. You’ve got a thing for being held down and filled, huh? I guess…” he lets out a small laugh, “I guess I’m a little shocked, seeing as you’re so sassy with me. Guess you just want someone to put you in your place. What is it you called Johnny? A good daddy dom? I might not always be a dom, but for you, I can make it work.” 
tw/cw. yandere/stalker sub themes, ‘unknown’ caller, he’s horny, mentions of porn/masturbation, weed/alcohol use, unprotected sex, oral (m/f receiving), deep throating, face fucking, nipple pinching/nipple worship, fingering, dirty talk, praise, hyuck has a thick cock, cum/fullness kink, creampie, etc… I pet names: (hers) Angel (his) baby.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 9.1k
🍭 aus. uni/frat au, yandere subthemes, Halloween, etc…
☀️ mlist + an.  We're back in the Ghostie au! I'm so happy to be able to put out a fic for Hyuck a year after the original story captivated so many of us <3
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Prologue
“I’ve got the best idea ever,” Hyuck says the moment after he’s released his first breath from the bong.
Johnny lets out a sigh, leaning back in his recliner. “This better not be another themed wet tittie car wash fundraiser.”
“Excuse me, that idea was brilliant- pairing up with our sister sorority and being horny on cars while in costumes that somewhat resembled cars from the Disney movie Cars made us more cash for the Humane Society than we’ve ever raised, so dial it down on your tone there, Ghostie.” 
The elder frat boy rolls his eyes at the nickname. When word got out about how he wooed his girlfriend last Halloween, the term ‘Ghostie’ ended up sticking, and Johnny’s never been able to let down the sexy stalker angle, even this year's pledges know about it.
“As I was saying,” Hyuck continues, “I figure I’ll take a page out of your book, and do some weird phone call thing to woo my Angel.”
“Oh, so you’re finally gonna admit your feelings to your best friend?” Johnny asks in shock, sitting up to take a better look at the younger frat boy.
“Yes, but after a week of toying with her,” Hyuck announces. “It will be fun. We all know she got her nickname Angel because she’s really more of a demon, she’s going to love this shit.”
“Well, I guess you know her better than I do,” Johnny muses. “So what’s the plan?”
“Basically, you took the best phone call stalker with Ghost Face, but I figure there are other options out there. Have you ever seen Black Christmas?” 
“Like… the one from the seventies?” Johnny’s apprehension is clear in his features, and he reaches for the bong to take another hit.
“Yeah, the one where the dude calls the sorority and is a horny fuck on the phone.”
“Isn’t there some weird incest plot and jaundice thing in the second movie though?”
“No one watches the second movie! We don’t claim the way they butchered the story with that!” Hyuck exclaims, feeling agitated already. 
“I feel like, if you called her, and did the whole Black Christmas thing, she wouldn’t know what the fuck movie you’re referencing.” 
“They did a remake in 2019,” Hyuck insists.
“Did anyone actually watch it though?” Johnny’s an avid horror film lover, and if he hasn’t seen the remakes, it’s not looking good for you to be able to pick up the references, a thought that throws Hyuck off.
However, even though he’s been swayed, Hyuck won’t give up on this idea. “Look, think of it as a Love is Blind sort of thing- I can make her fall in love with me over the phone, and then when I reveal myself as her best friend, she’ll be all ‘woah, we’re soulmates!’”
Johnny looks as skeptical as ever. “Are you sure that’s the way this is going to go?”
Hyuck scrunches his nose up in distaste at the lack of support. “Yes.” 
The elder frat boy takes in a deep breath, shaking his head. “If this is what you want to do, I won’t stop you. I just… I think your Angel would react better if you were just straight up with her. Maybe there’s a reason the two of you have never gone past the friend stage. I think the good thing about me doing this last year, was I was just acquaintances with Tiny, I made it clear off the bat that I just wanted to know her better. If she didn’t want me, then that would be fine. If you do this with Angel, and she finds out it’s you and doesn’t return your feelings, you’re going to ruin a friendship.”
Hyuck thinks about what Johnny’s just said as he watches the tall resident Ghostie take another bong hit. It’s true- In Hyuck’s heart of hearts, he knows that… there must be a reason the two of you have never hooked up, but it’s a reason he’s never been able to identify.
The cocky side of him refuses to believe it’s because you’re not attracted to him- there’s definitely sexual tension between the two of you, so it must be something else. 
He’s so tired of toeing the line, especially since you’ve always been kindred, mischievous, horny little souls.
You were with Hyuck when he pranked Sigma Veta Tau last Christmas and put glitter on their ceiling fans. You were with Hyuck when he put a rotisserie chicken in Alpha Tappa Zeta’s air vents. In fact, you’ve been present at almost all of Hyuck’s master plan shenanigans. 
There’s something going on between the two of you and he knows it. 
Last year, when Johnny had pulled his little semi-stalker Ghostie stunt, Hyuck had noted that whoever was behind the anonymous calls had some balls to hit on a girl that way, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t live up to that.
“Listen,” Hyuck sighs. “This is between us. Angel is going to try to figure out who’s calling her, and I need you to keep your mouth shut, okay?”
“Fine,” Johnny agrees, shaking his head. “Hyuck, I love you, but sometimes I forget how much of a dumb frat boy you are.” 
“You know what?” Hyuck grabs at the bong. “I’ll take that as a fucking compliment.” 
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Sunday
You’re in the middle of a much-needed nap. Curled up on your fuzzy blankets, your textbook long since discarded while your mood lighting twinkles through the space, it’s the most comfortable you’ve been all term. It’s late October, the nights come early, and you’re starting to not mind the cool air that seeps through the crack in your window.
It’s because you’re dead asleep, that when your phone rings, you don’t even check who’s calling. You simply bolt up, dazed and confused, reaching to pull your cell to your ear. 
“Hello?”
At first, all you hear is breathing on the other end of the line, and you roll your eyes. You’re no stranger to dumb calls, spam calls, and the like- but then, “Angel?”
Well, this is definitely not a spam caller, they wouldn’t know your nickname if it was.
“Who’s this?” you ask, pulling your phone away from your ear to look down at your screen. It’s a ‘No Caller ID,’ and you let out another exasperated sound.  
“A friend,” the person on the other end of the line tells you. 
“A friend I don’t have in my contacts?” you scoff.
“Burner phone, baby.”
“And what would be the point of getting a burner phone just to call little ol’ me?” you sigh, relaxing against your pillows and pinching the bridge of your nose in annoyance. 
“Why so serious, Angel?”
“Jeeze, dude, if you’re going to do the whole creepy caller before Halloween cliche, at least stick to your character.” You can’t believe he’s quoting Health Ledger’s Joker at you now. “Who are you even trying to be? Ghost Face is so last Halloween, we all know Johnny knocked that shit out of the park. A copycat sequel is just… early 2000’s.”
“Okay, let me drop character for just a second,” the man on the other end of the line sighs, and you giggle at how his voice modulator emphasizes his own exasperation. “Think, horny telephone guy.”
“I wouldn’t call Ghost Face particularly horny, he was just a nerd.”
“I’m not Ghost Face!” he insists. “Scream came out in the mid-nineties, think earlier than that.” 
“What, am I supposed to be some kind of horror movie expert?” you scoff. 
“Fine, I’ll just tell you,” the guy sighs. “Have you seen Black Christmas?”
“Never even heard of it.”
“Fuck,” he curses. “Well, don’t go watch it, it has some cult following but it’s not even one of my favourites- the reason I chose the dude from that movie is because he’s a horny little fuck and calls a sorority house and some shit- and also, don’t look up the second movie, I don’t claim the sequel.” 
“Wow, I love that you chose a character based purely on horniness and not if the movie is even good,” you giggle.
“Well, Johnny took the best slasher caller! What was I supposed to do? Go all ghost child from The Black Phone movie?”
“What’s The Black Phone movie?”
“Ethan Hawke? Horror veteran, who plays the hero author in Sinister, turned bad guy in the 2021 film by the same director?” 
You let out a whistle. “TBH, dude, it sucks Johnny got to Ghostie first last year, because I’d bet money you know more about horror movies than he does.”
“I one hundred percent do!” 
“Okay, so back to the point,” you laugh. “You’re calling me as this horny dude from some Halloween Christmas movie- for what?”
“To talk to you?” he suggests. “To uh… be horny… at you?” 
“And what does this accomplish? I mean- we all know Johnny’s Ghostie story from last year, he called a girl every day, told her to come to his frat party, and revealed himself there. Is that your game plan?”
“I was thinking about it, but it sounds kind of lackluster now.”
“That’s because it’s not an original idea at all,” you point out.
“Sequels aren’t always original,” the man counters. “Lots of movies have the same plot just different characters, some recurring- look, it doesn’t have to be original. The original angle to this Halloween movie is that I’m going to be way more horny than Johnny probably ever was last year.” 
“And I’m just going to allow that?” you grin. 
“Yeah, because we both know why you have your nickname, don’t we, Angel? You’re a dirty little minx, and you’re going to love this.”
“Except, what if, Halloween comes, and you’re a frat guy that I think is ugly?” you ask. “If you know me, you know I have very specific tastes. There’s only a handful of guys I’d actually be interested in, what makes you think you’re one of them?”
The line is dead for a few stagnant seconds, then, “I just am, okay?”
“Cocky little fucker,” you giggle.
“Don’t be rude.” 
At this point, you’re pretty sure you know who’s on the other end of the line. 
There’s been a few tells from your best friend, Donghyuck. For example, he’s the biggest actual horror buff in the NCT frat. He idolizes Johnny, and was always salty that Mark got the Chicago man as a Big and not himself, so he had a close eye on the events that took place last year in NCT’s ‘Ghostie’ Saga. On top of all of this, there’s an extreme familiarity in the way he’s talking to you, a preexisting natural tint to his diction. Lastly, Hyuck’s the cockiest little dumb frat boy of them all, and it’s one of the reasons you’ve always loved him… one of the reasons you’ve also always kept a bit of distance from your best friend whenever situations have had the option of turning romantic.
Well, if this is how he wants to make his move at you, so be it.
Maybe he’ll convince you that he can be more than a good fuck- you’d never risk your friendship for a one-night stand, no, he’ll have to prove that he could go all in, that he deserves you.
And if all else is just extra, you can at least have some fun toying with Hyuck while he thinks he’s the one toying with you. 
“Okay,” you sigh, stretching. “Let's do this, but we can start tomorrow, you woke me up from a nap, and I’d very much like to get back to it.” 
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Monday
“I’m not waking you up from a nap, am I, Angel?” 
“Nope,” you grin, mischief working its way through your mind as you think of the best way to throw Hyuck off. “I was just watching some porn, flicking the bean, you know, that sort of thing.”
You hear him choke. “F… Flicking the bean?”
“Come on, you have to have heard of flicking the bean!” you insist. “Buddy, you’re the one who’s supposed to be calling me to be horny, this is your perfect opportunity!”
“Right, I uh…” he coughs. “How’s… how’s the bean flicking going?”
“Dude, do you know anything about seduction?” you scoff. “‘How’s the bean flicking going,’” you imitate. “Lame!”
“Rude!” he counters.
God, he’s so obviously Hyuck and you bet he doesn’t even realize it. 
“You know what, if you must ask, the bean flicking is going really well.”
“What kind of porn do you watch?” he questions next. 
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” you tease.
“Tell me,” Hyuck insists. 
“Might have to get you to beg if you want to hear those kinds of details.”
“I’m the creepy phone stalker, I call the shots.”
You roll your eyes. “Sure you do, buddy.” 
“Stop calling me buddy.”
“Okay, dude.”
“Don’t call me dude either!”
“Then what am I supposed to call you? It’s not like anyone knows the name of the slasher from Halloween Christmas, or whatever. You’re no Ghost Face, friend.”
“It’s Black Christmas,” he corrects you. “And I’m pretty sure his name is Billy.”
“Wow, how sexy, Billy,” you scoff. “You really didn’t think this one through that well, did you, buddy?”
“Original Ghost Face is who? Stu Matcher and Billy fucking Loomis,” Hyuck points out. “It’s not the worst name in the world.”
“Tell me one person who refers to Ghost Face as Billy Loomis though, one person, and I’ll tell you what porn I watch.”
“The… screenwriter?”
“Jesus Christ, dude. That’s such low-hanging fruit.”
“Now tell me what porn you watch.” 
You let out a deep sigh. “All this bickering has me not in the mood anymore.”
“Weird, I’m extra in the mood now.”
“Cuz you’re a weirdo who gets off on play fighting, I bet.” 
His voice takes on a whiney pitch when he says, “Tell me what porn you watch!” 
“Honestly?” You’re tired of this conversation, but you see one last opportunity to toy with Hyuck before you hang up. “Hentaid on Porn Hub, I’m all about that alien, tentacle shit,” your voice takes on the air of a damsel in distress when you muse, “No mortal man can ever satiate me, I’m afraid.”
“Holy shit,” Hyuck whispers. “Are you for real? Tentacle porn?”
“Uh huh, now, goodnight, buddy.” You hang up on Hyuck with a shit-eating grin on your face, knowing you’ve left him something to think about. 
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Tuesday
“Hey,” you say, sitting down next to your best friend in the on-campus burger joint where you spend your Tuesday two-hour period between classes. “I’ve got something to talk to you about.”
Hyuck is mid-bite of a burger, and he holds up a hand, covering his obnoxious eating style. “Just a sec,” he mumbles. 
You wait patiently, staring at your friend while he finishes up. He’s in a black hoodie, and black t-shirt, and his laptop is open next to where he’s eating his combo meal. He’s usually here before you are, scoping out a booth and food so you two can chill in peace before your shared history course. 
History isn’t your major per se, it’s more of a special interest, and the same goes for Hyuck. He’s a film major- another obvious dent in his plan to fly under the radar as your phone stalker who just happens to know everything about horror movies. 
“Okay,” Hyuck says, swallowing the last of his large bite of food. “What’s up?”
“So on Sunday, I got a phone call from some dude with a burner phone,” you explain, watching closely as Hyuck’s brows raise just a moment too late to be legitimate surprise.
“Yeah? What did he say?”
“He’s trying to recreate Johnny’s whole Ghostie thing from last year, but as is the case with most sequels in the horror genre, he’s kind of missing the mark.”
Hyuck chokes a little on his food, and he reaches for his Coke to wash it down. “What’s he doing wrong?”
“What an odd question, Hyuck,” you say, narrowing your eyes at him. “But, to answer it, he’s just… not loose enough. He feels too rigid. I gave him an in last night, if you know what I mean, and he just, fumbled it.”
“An in?” Hyuck cocks his head to the side, “what do you mean?”
“You know, an opportunity to be horny with me.”
“And you want him to be horny with you?”
“I mean, that’s the whole point isn’t it? He promised me he’d be more horny than Johnny was last year, but I feel like Johnny probably had this whole daddy dom thing down- I don’t know what this new guy is trying to give, but he’s not giving, you feel me?”
“Huh, that’s weird,” Hyuck shrugs, picking up his burger again. “Do you have any guesses who it might be?”
You shrug. “He told me it was someone I think is hot. So that means it could be Jaehyun- God, you know how sexy I think Jaehyun is,” - you’re relishing in the way you get to tease Hyuck like this - “it could be Jeno, or Jaemin- I don’t think I’d even mind if both of them came up to me on Halloween, full original Scream style- Jaemin is definitely the Stu Matcher character, though.” 
“Jeeze, Angel,” Hyuck grimaces, putting his burger down and leaning back in the booth. “Do you have to talk about two of my best friends tag teaming you while I’m eating?”
“Sorry, babes,” you snicker. “I just think this week is going to be fun, and I can’t wait for my Billy Halloween Christmas stalker to find his A-game.”
You half expect Hyuck to correct you on the movie title, and you see him bite his tongue, fighting the urge to throw his own cover under the bus in a bid to protect the sanctity of cult films. But alas, Hyuck shuts himself up with another bite of his burger, and with one last look at your friend, you pull out your laptop to actually get some work done.
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Wednesday
“Hey, bud,” you answer your call with a grin, twirling your hair around your finger while your eyes skim your textbook. “What happened yesterday? You never called.”
“You looked busy,” comes a curt retort.
“Oh… did you see me with Hyuck?” you stifle a laugh, of course he’s going to play this jealousy angle, when in reality, he was probably just butthurt about you toying with him. 
“It was hard not to notice you with him,” he responds. 
“Someone sounds jealous.”
“What’s your relationship with him?”
God, Hyuck must be very desperate to be trying to get details out of you about how you feel about him, through his alter ego.
You take a deep breath, closing your book and leaning back in your chair. “We’re close,” you start.
“But just friends.” 
“Just friends,” you confirm. “I guess, I mean, obviously he’s cute. There’s no argument about Hyuck being cute. And he’s fun, he’s cocky, he’s mischievous- I guess my one concern with him is if he could do something long term. I may come off as a dirty little demon child, but in reality- I don’t want to put all my eggs in one guys basket if he’s busy collecting eggs, if that makes any sense.”
“You want a guy who just wants you, who puts in the effort.”
“Exactly.” 
“I’m putting in effort,” your ‘mystery man’ points out.
“I suppose this could be considered effort.” 
“I spent twenty five bucks on this burner phone.”
“Wow, buddy, that must have broke the bank.” 
“I have money!” he insists.
Hyuck definitely has money, it’s one of the reasons he’s probably so cocky. He comes from a large line of Lee’s, a family group that owns development all around the country. You’ve tried not to let any gold digging inklings stain your perception of the frat boy though, that wouldn’t be fair to him.
“Hey, friend?” you ask, choosing a base level nickname for this man who is clearly Hyuck.
“Yes, Angel?”
“Were you thinking about it yesterday?”
“Thinking about what?”
“Me, you know… watching alien tentacle porn and flicking my bean.” You try to make your voice sound innocent, but you can’t help the mischievous grin that works it’s way onto your face. 
You can hear him swallow thickly. “Hold that thought, I’m going to call you back.” 
“Wait-” before you can get an explanation, the line goes dead, and you release an annoyed huff, crossing your arms over your chest.
He’s such a little shit, leaving you hanging like this-
Two minutes go by, then five- and just as you’re starting to be really annoyed, Hyuck calls you back.
“Took you long enough,” you snap.
“Listen, Angel, I needed to get in the mood. I’m too rigid talking to a pretty girl like you, had to take some of the load off.” You can tell, even under his modulated voice, that Hyuck has most definitely just gotten into some weed.
This is so classic him- and to be completely fair, you’ve witnessed the effects of Mary-Jane on one mister Lee Donghyuck. He’s much more suave while green, less anxious, more willing to take risks.
“So, to answer your question,” Hyuck continues, letting out a breath. “I have been thinking about you. Been thinking about your cute voice, how it would sound begging, whining, whimpering- what little noises you’d make choking on cock, or tentacle-” Hyuck laughs. “I’ll be honest, I don’t have an octopus dick or anything. If you let me, you’ll have to be okay with a human style back breaking.” 
You’re shocked.
Had he really just said all of this to you?
Was weed all it took for him to pull up his big boy panties and lay some actual sin onto you?
You can’t ignore the way your pussy flutters with interest at his words, and you shift uncomfortably in your chair. “I’m sure we can make it work… what kind of tool are you packing, buddy?” 
Hyuck chuckles. “It’s thick, I think it will do the job.”
Hyuck isn’t the tallest frat boy, but in no way is he the smallest either. He’s average, and to think that he has an above average girthy dick- well, you can’t help lick your lips in interest. 
“Stalker got your tongue, Angel?” Hyuck asks. “You’ve just gone awfully quiet.”
“I’m just…” you swallow thickly. “Just thinking.”
“About my thick cock splitting you open?” 
God, your pussy is throbbing now- “How… our first few calls were so awkward-”
“I promised you dirty, didn’t I? Needed some courage first, but… I can tell you’re not mad about it.” 
You’re definitely not mad about it.
You think maybe part of you would be upset if you didn’t know your ‘mystery caller’s’ identity- but the safety of knowing, in your heart of hearts, that this is Hyuck- it changes everything, and you can allow yourself to feel the pleasure already beating through you.
“I’d ask what you want me to do to you, but I did some research last night, watched some of that Hentaid shit you were talking about. It’s a lot of bondage, isn’t it, Angel? A lot of… creampies. You’ve got a thing for being held down and filled, huh? I guess…” he lets out a small laugh, “I guess I’m a little shocked, seeing as you’re so sassy with me. Guess you just want someone to put you in your place. What is it you called Johnny? A good daddy dom? I might not always be a dom, but for you, I can make it work.” 
“So…” you find it hard to even speak because he’s so right about his assessment that it hurts. “So… you’re more of a switch?”
“I can be. Generally, I’m not about strict roles in the bedroom, but if you’re into that sort of thing, I can see what it’s about.” 
“Tell me more about being a switch?”
“Don’t want to give you too many details about myself, these calls are about you, Angel.” 
You let out a groan.
“Be patient,” he reminds you. “And tell me, are you as wet right now as I am hard?”
This time, the sound you release is really more of a moan, and it makes Hyuck chuckle darkly.
“I’ll take that as a yes… are you gonna touch yourself after this? Gonna do all the work I can’t do, not yet, anyway.” 
“Maybe…”
“I like the thought of that, two horny people, whacking off together after a phone call, different rooms, but we’ll be on each other’s minds.” 
You get the suspicion that Hyuck is going to be on your mind for a whole lot longer than simply your upcoming bean-flicking session. 
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Thursday
“I’m here, I’m here! What’s the emergency!” Mark asks, out of breath, his cheeks flushed from the cold outside and having just run across campus.
“It’s not an emergency, don’t worry, just sit!” you tell him, pushing out a chair.
“Angel, you texted me, and I quote,” he pulls out his phone, “911, meet me at our spot in the library asap.”
“Well, I wanted you to come,” you shrug.
“God, you’re as much of a drama queen as Hyuck is,” Mark sighs, taking his seat across from you. 
“Speaking of Hyuck…” you grin, leaning forward and clasping your hands together, “your roommate decided to go full Ghostie this year.”
“Wait, he’s not doing Ghost Face for Halloween-”
“No, I mean, like, stalker phone call Johnny Ghostie,” you clarify. 
“What?” Mark’s expression is blank, and he looks completely unimpressed.
“Basically, he called me on Sunday, did this whole thing about doing a Black Christmas character or some shit- he’s been calling me from a burner phone with a voice modulator-”
“Jesus Christ,” Mark sighs, covering his eyes with his hand. 
“The moral of the story is, Halloween night, I’m calling dibs on your room.”
“My room?” Mark peaks out at you through his fingers.
“Your roommate has to get laid. Actually, scratch that, I have to get laid… with your roommate.” 
“This is so-” Mark groans. “I thought we were over this stalker Halloween thing to get girls. Don’t any of us have respect or standards anymore?”
“You’re frat boys, Mark, so the answer on that one is going to be a no from me.”
“Why are you even into this?” Mark questions further. “Like- what’s so sexy about any of this?”
“I mean… it shows Hyuck cares?”
“He cares enough to get a burner phone and a voice modulator and call you and be creepy and horny? Wow, what a huge chivalrous act of love.” 
You narrow your eyes at Mark Lee. “I’m not enjoying your sarcasm, mister.”
“And I’m not enjoying this,” Mark retorts, pointing between the two of you. “Fuck, fine, have my room on Halloween.”
“Last thing though, Hyuck can’t know that I know that he’s the one calling me.” 
“Wait, so this isn’t a bit? He’s committed to trying to trick you?” Mark leans back in his chair, his expression getting even more bleak. “The two of you are crazier than I thought.” 
As you open your mouth to respond, your phone rings, and you look down to see Hyuck’s burner ‘No Caller ID.’
“Heya, buddy,” you answer, bringing your finger to your lips to shush Mark.
“Watcha up to?”
“Just in the library with a friend.”
Hyuck’s tone shifts. “Which friend?”
“Mark, you probably know him.”
“Of course I know fucking Mark. Why’s he with you?” 
“Just chatting… why? You jealous?”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No!”
“Yes!” You let out a laugh. “Buddy, settle down, we both know I’m not into Mark Lee, we’ve talked about this before.”
“We’ve never talked about Mark,” Hyuck responds, and you realize, you may have just betrayed that you know who he is-
“I mean, he wasn’t on my list with Jaehyun, or Jeno, or Jaemin-” you quickly cover your blunder, and Hyuck releases an annoyed sound.
“I get it, I get it,” he groans. “Fine, finish up your time with fucking Mark, then.” 
“Don’t be salty about this,” you warn.
“Yeah, whatever.” 
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Friday
It’s the final day before Halloween, and if there’s one thing you know for sure, it’s that Hyuck is working. The SVT and NCT frats are the primary workers at the on-campus bar, Skeets, so they have a deal that NCT works the Friday before Halloween, and SVT works the Saturday. 
Knowing these details, you’re also aware that it’s possible Hyuck won’t be home till three am, so you’re a little shocked when you get a call at one.
“Hi, Angel.”
“If it isn’t my favorite stalker,” you grin, pausing your horror film- in all truth, you’d decided to watch Black Christmas, and now you can see why Hyuck told you not to bother, he hasn’t nailed the deranged attitude of the main villain at all. 
“Watcha doin?”
“Not much, you?”
“Not much,” he responds.
“Are you sure?” you counter. “Cuz something tells me maybe you’re working right now… did you get a break, buddy?”
“I’m not working,” he insists. 
“Sure you’re not,” you laugh, dropping the line of questioning. “Hey, tell me again why you chose Billy from Black Christmas?” 
“Seriously?” Hyuck lets out a sigh. “I guess I just wanted… an excuse to be horny on the phone for you, even if it’s just for a week.”
He sounds defeated, and you’re not shocked. Halloween is the busiest night of the year at the bar Hyuck works at, if anything, you’re surprised he even had a moment to dip outside and call you.
“You’re cute,” you muse. “You sound tired, so I’ll let you go, but uh… I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”
“You will.”
“And how will I know it’s you?” 
“You just will, goodnight, Angel.” 
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Saturday 
You’ve just arrived at the frat party, and already, you’re on the hunt for Hyuck.
At this point, you’re tired of the games. You feel closer to Hyuck, in some odd, sinister sort of way- closer than you ever have before. And you’re tired of hiding it, tired of this weird cat and mouse- you just want to have a conversation with him, to get everything out into the open so you can truly discuss your feelings.
You find him by the beer pong table. He’s in a full denim fit, and you can’t put your finger on who he is as you approach.
“Hey, Hyuck,” you greet, tucking into his side so he can hear you over the music. “Nice Canadian Tuxedo.”
“Do you know who I am?” he asks.
“Uh…” You look at him blankly. “Are you talking about your denim costume? Or the way you’ve been calling me all week?”
Hyuck stares at you in shock. “Uh…” he clears his throat. “I’m Ken… you know, from the Barbie movie.” 
“Right…” you trail off, wondering if he’s going to touch on the Black Christmas side of things.
“Also… what do you mean? About me calling you all week?”
“Hyuck,” you sigh. “Please don’t try to avoid this. Just be honest. It’s you. I know it’s you.” 
He looks at you, and you can see the cogs turning in his mind.
“You told me you’d reveal yourself tonight,” you continue. “I know I kind of just threw you under the bus, maybe I ruined your master plan or something, but I’m tired of pretending I don’t know it’s one of my best friends who’s been calling me all week being horny.”
“Are you mad at me?” he asks, voice lowering. His eyes search yours, as if he’s trying to get a read on you.
“Hyuck,” you let out a laugh, “I’m not mad at all, but I think we should go to your room and talk this out a little, don’t you?”
“I guess that’s a good idea,” he acquiesces. 
“Then let’s go.” You grab his hand, lacing your fingers so you can drag him to the stairs that lead to the second floor. You don’t say anything as you move, you’re on a mission, and what you need to discuss with him is better said alone than in a crowd of horny Halloween partygoers.
You make it to the privacy of his room, and you shut the door behind you. “So?”
“So?” Hyuck moves through the space, and you notice him heading for his bong.
“Hey, don’t do that,” you sigh.
“Don’t do what?” he asks.
“You don’t need to get high to have this conversation.”
“I don’t?”
“No.” You shake your head. “I don’t want you to be high when we do this.” 
Hyuck lets out another deep breath. “This isn’t how I planned things.”
“Yeah, I guess not,” you admit, watching him take a seat on his bed. “How did you see tonight panning out?” 
“I suppose I figured I could get some drinks in, liquid courage, that sort of thing. And then, maybe I’d reveal myself at the end of the night or something.”
“Are you really so scared of me that you need to be drinking to confess how you feel?” you ask, melting a little. You approach Hyuck, sitting carefully on the bed next to him while he faces clear inner turmoil.
“I’m not afraid,” he states, but you can tell from the tone of his voice that there’s something else going on. “I just… You told me you only want a man who can commit, a guy who only has eyes for you- and, I do, but… we both know my playboy track record, and I guess… I just worry about hurting you.”
“Do you want to hurt me?” you question, tilting your head as you try to understand him.
“No, never.”
“Do you think you’re at the point where you could settle down a little? I’m not trying to get you to stop partying, I just mean… committing to one girl, is that something you think you’re capable of?”
“If it’s you, then yeah… I think so,” he nods, finally meeting your eyes.
He looks so vulnerable, and it’s very different from how you usually view your mischievous friend.
“Hyuck,” you whisper, unable to help the way your hand raises to cup his cheek. “I’m willing to give this a shot if you are. If there’s something real here, and it’s not just you being a horny, dumb frat boy.”
“Okay, rude,” Hyuck laughs, showing you a glimmer of the him that you know and love, “It’s more than being horny… but… in all honesty, seeing you in this fucking faerie costume has me all hot and bothered.”
“Yeah?” You lean closer, grinning. Your lips ghost over his when you say your next words, “So what are you gonna do about it?”
Hyuck sucks in a sharp breath, his pupils dilating- you’re so close to him, and you can make out all the pretty shades of brown in his irises. Gosh, he really is a pretty frat boy. 
His hands find your hips, and he tugs your body closer. You can feel him breathing, his gaze darting between your own and your mouth. You watch his tongue dip out to wet his lips, and he swallows thickly.
“Fuck it,” he mutters, finally smashing his lips to your own. 
It’s not gentle by any means, but it’s not necessarily aggressive either- one word to describe this kiss, is: desperate. He’s so eager, and you kind of love it, love the way he tugs you flush to his own body, one hand moving to cup your cheek- his tongue glides against your own and you stifle a moan, shifting in his embrace so you can wrap your arms around his neck.
It feels so good to be pressed against him like this- you’re actually kind of shocked at how good it feels. And his hands, exploring your body, keeping you close, fingers digging into your hips-
Hyuck is everywhere, devouring you like you’re his last meal.
“Oh,” you whisper, when Hyuck’s mouth moves to your neck. “By the way, I called dibs on your room with Mark, he won’t be bothering us.”
Your dumb frat boy pulls away from your throat, a grin on his face. “You really knew it was me all along, huh?”
“You’re not exactly subtle, buddy,” you laugh.
Hyuck shakes his head, reaching to lock the door before his hands ensnare you again. He pushes his body against yours, urging you to move backward until your calves hit the bed. Before pushing you down, he removes your faerie costume wings, and only once the more delicate part of your costume is discarded, does he shove you onto his mattress.
“Hyuck,” you giggle, looking up at him with starry eyes.
“You look so good like this,” Hyuck muses, tugging his denim ‘Ken’ style vest off to reveal a body hardened from Frat mandated work out brother time. He’s not too big, not too built- Hyuck still has some pudge on him, but you kind of love it. You love that it’s not a full six pack and bulging biceps- you can imagine that when this is all done, he’ll be lovely to cuddle with.
In fact, you’re not sure it would matter how muscled Hyuck is. Sure, it helps that he’s physically fit and hot, but- at this point in your friendship, you’re attracted to him for so much more than his body.
No man makes you laugh like him. No man has spent the time that he has to understand you and make you feel comfortable with him knowing you, the true you, the you that you don’t get to show many others.
Hyuck is just… he’s good for you, and he always has been. That goodness has so far been a friend capacity sort of thing, but you’re excited about the new development in your relationship. You think there’s true potential with him, and it makes you dizzy as you stare up at one of your best friends.
“I kind of want to eat you out, Angel,” Hyuck admits, one hand finding your thigh and pushing your short dress even higher up  your leg.
“Funny, I kind of want to suck you off,” you grin, lifting one foot out of your shoe to tease your toes across the front of his jeans.
“So… sixty-nine?” Hyuck asks, gently tracing his fingers across your exposed skin, setting tingles of pleasure off to erupt and skitter through your form.
“That would work, but… I guess… I kind of want to lay with my head lolled off the side of the bed, your cock in my mouth, and your fingers pinching at my nipples while I work my own clit at the same time.”
“Jesus,” Hyuck breathes, swallowing thickly as he looks up at you. “How could I say no to that?” 
“Then, when I’m close to cumming, you can eat me out, get me there, then fuck me stupid for your own release.”
“It’s funny,” Hyuck chuckles, “Here I thought I was the horny one calling you and trying to be a creep, but you’re the one with the dirty mouth and the great ideas.”
“Yeah, your whole Black Christmas thing really wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever heard,” you tease.
“How many times do I have to admit it was a shitty plan but I just wanted to get close to you?”
“At least once more.”
“Fine. Now flip around, loll your head off my bed, let me put my cock down your throat and pinch your nipples while you toy with your cute pussy.”
“How do you know my pussy is cute?” you ask. “You haven't even seen it yet.”
“I’ve been imagining, baby, and as a film major, my imagination is pretty fucking good.”
You giggle, getting into position for Hyuck. He stands near your head as you loll it off the side of the bed, and you get a good view of his bulge straining in his jeans.
“You’re excited,” you muse, cupping him through the denim.
“Who wouldn’t be?” he laughs, undoing his button, then the zipper. “Fuck, you look so good laid out like this.”
“Yeah?” You pull the top of your dress down, releasing your boobs.
“Fuuuuuck,” Hyuck groans, pausing his motions on his jeans to reach down and massage your newly exposed breast. “I knew your tits would be perfect.”
You moan at the feeling of his warm hands. His fingers pinch at your nipple and your moan turns into a whine. “Feels good.”
“You feel good,” he counters.
“Get your cock out,” you instruct, feeling impatient.
“Start rubbing your pussy,” Hyuck retorts with a laugh.
“Yes, sir,” you respond teasingly, reaching one of your hands down to your thighs. You slip it under your dress, deciding on taking your panties off alltogether. 
Hyuck continues to massage you as you pull off your thong. 
You can’t help yourself, you toss it at him, and Hyuck lets go of your breast in favour of catching it. “Fuck, these are cute,” he says, admiring your panties.
“I knew I’d be getting laid.”
His tone shifts to the darker, more annoyed side of things. “Yeah?”
“And don’t get all angsty, I knew I’d be fucking you tonight.” 
“That’s what I like to hear,” Hyuck grins, putting your panties in his pocket before he undoes his jeans, shifting them down his thighs.
The fucker isn’t wearing underwear, and you get a good view of his cock for the first time.
“Fuck, dude, you weren’t lying when you said you were thick,” you muse, licking your lips.
“I’d never lie to you about my cock,” he laughs.
You slip one hand between your thighs, stroking your wet core- it’s crazy how turned on you are from this, but part of you thinks this has been building for a while- for a week, actually.
Hyuck strokes his cock, looking down at you. “Ready for this?” he asks.
“Put it in my mouth,” you command, opening wide for him.
“If I’m going to deep, push my thigh,” he tells you as he slips his cock past your lips.
You moan a sound of affirmation around him, immediately beginning to suck on his tip, getting used to his size before you take more.
Hyuck is surprisingly gentle with how much he’s allowing you to take. If you hadn’t been pacing yourself, you’re sure he’d be pacing you of his own accord. 
One of his hands finds your breast again, pinching the nipple and sending jitters of pleasure down to your throbbing core.
You groan louder around him, sucking more into your mouth as you increase the pressure on your clit.
“This is so fucking hot,” Hyuck moans, thrusting gently into your mouth so you can lay flat and still, allowing him to do most of the work while you rub your pussy deliciously.
You can only let out a sound of affirmation as he uses your mouth.
With your eyes closed, you can focus fully on the feeling of pleasure that’s building inside of you. 
When you’d imagined fucking Hyuck for the first time, this hadn’t necessarily been a position at the forefront of your thoughts- but when he’d suggested eating you out, you’d realized this is exactly what you’d wanted. 
You want to give back to him, want to show him how much you’ve appreciated him taking the leap and telling you how he feels- even if it was in some weird, dumb frat boy, phone call kind of way. 
The way he’s pinching your thighs is actually delicious- and then, you hear him spit, and you feel the cool liquid hit your chest. This time, when he rubs his thumb over your nipple, he spreads his spit across your skin, making it even more intense.
“Part of me just wants to cum on these perfect tits,” he admits.
You make a very clear sound of disagreement, and Hyuck pulls his cock out of your mouth. You’d been salivating so much that as he moves away, your own saliva drips back down onto your face from his length. You swallow thickly, finding your voice. “Need you to cum inside of me.”
“Fuuuuck,” Hyuck groans, pinching your nipple even harder. “You and your creampie kink.”
He slips his cock back into your mouth, and you greedily eat him up.
Then he leans further over your body, his fingers joining yours on your core. “You’re so fucking wet,” he muses, pushing your hand out of your way so he can rub your clit, gently fucking your face as he does so.
It’s a shallow face fucking, as he’s bent over your laid down body to access your core, but you don’t mind.
Your eyes are still closed, and you’re enjoying every sensation, bringing your free hands up to your breasts to massage them and pinch your own nipples.
“You look so sexy, want you to cum so bad so I can fuck you stupid,” he tells you, rubbing your clit even harder.
You rut your hips up toward his hand, a non verbal motion that tells him you’re close.
God, it’s like he’s been in your pants before- he knows exactly how to stroke and massage your clit-
“And you’re still sucking me off so good-” he continues. “And grabbing at your tits too, you’re my insatiable little Angel, aren’t you?”
You moan deeply around his cock, and Hyuck fucks you a little harder, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat. You gag around him, feeling tears in your eyes.
“Shit, sorry, Angel, fuck, that just felt so good- can I do it again? Can I fuck your throat again?”
You make a sound of affirmation, shocked at how your body had reacted to his cock being fully inside of your mouth. A tingle of excitement had run through you, your nipples getting intensely sensitive, your core throbbing-
Hyuck does it again, hitting the back of your throat, and the same sensation happens. You can feel yourself getting desperately close to the edge, and you hardly have to do anything. Other than pinching your own nipples, Hyuck is the one taking care of you, and you kind of love it.
“I can tell you’re close, Angel,” Hyuck chuckles. “Fuck, gonna cum from me fucking your face and rubbing your clit, right?”
You moan desperately, wiggling your hips. Hyuck reads your cue, rubbing your clit even harder.
Now, you can’t help but pull off his cock, pushing his thigh to give you a bit of space.
“You good?” he asks, motions pausing.
“Yeah,” you tell him, swallowing thickly as you grab his cock to stroke him off. “Just keep- fuck, keep rubbing me like that, I’m so close-”
“Fuck this,” Hyuck mutters, and all of the sudden, he’s pulling away.
You let out a whine- only for him to spin you on his bed. He sinks to his knees, drawing your core to the edge where your head had just been, then he dives in, his lips immediately suctioning around your clit.
Two fingers push into your aching core and you whimper desperately, grabbing at his hair to keep him on your pussy as he works you closer and closer-
“Hyuck-” you cry out, muscles clenching-
One more slurp on your clit has you topping over the edge, entire body electrified by the orgasm surging through you.
You slap a hand over your mouth, trying to muffle your sounds as he works you through your high. He doesn’t quit, doesn’t pull away- he sucks your clit through your entire high, until your thighs are shaking on his shoulders and you’re on the verge of tears.
“Okay-” you whimper, pushing at his head. “Sensitive-”
Hyuck finally lets up. You open your eyes to watch him stand, pulling his fingers from your core and sliding them into his own mouth.
“You taste just like Halloween candy, baby,” he muses, eyes clouded with lust.
“I wanna taste,” you whisper.
Hyuck pushes his jeans completely off, and then he gets on top of you, smashing his lips to your own. The flavour of your pussy is hot on his tongue, and it invades your senses, driving you wild as you kiss him deeper, threading your fingers through his hair.
His cock nudges between your pussy lips as he grinds down against you, rocking his hips.
“Fuck me,” you tell him, moving your mouth to suck on his ear lobe.
“Shit,” Hyuck groans, shivering from the sensation of your tongue on his ear. “Want you naked first.”
He pulls away just long enough to tug your dress up and over your head, then he returns to his spot, his cock rutting against your core once more.
The two of you have been friends forever. Hyuck knows you have an IUD, he’d been there for you when you’d gotten it last year, when you’d just wanted to stay in bed and rot for a few days. There’s no need to discuss birth control or safety- all there’s left to do, is have his thick cock fill you in ways you’ve been wanting all week.
Hyuck adjusts, grabbing his base so he can push his tip into your throbbing hole.
“Fuck,” you whimper in his ear, clutching his shoulders as he pushes an inch into you.
“You good?” he asks, breath hot on your throat.
“So good,” you respond, locking your legs around his hips.
He pushes deeper into your pussy, and your core welcomes him in, walls stretching to accommodate his thick cock. 
Hyuck bottoms out, and you both groan deeply. He forces his lips onto your own again, and it’s a clash of teeth and tongues.
It’s animalistic in the best sort of way- like you’ve both been caged up for as long as you’ve known each other, and you’re finally letting your beasts out to do the most primal thing imaginable.
There are no thoughts in your mind as Hyuck begins to fuck you, there’s only you, him, and this intense feeling of pleasure.
You feel so connected to him- missionary isn’t always the most fun position, but with Hyuck, it feels right. It feels like this was meant to be your first time together, face to face, lip locked, breathing each other in, moaning desperately as he takes you as his own.
“Fuck,” Hyuck groans, gently biting on your lip. “Your pussy is taking me so fucking well- first your mouth, now this- how do you expect me to last long?”
“I don’t,” you giggle. “You made me cum so hard on your tongue, I’m about ready to be filled with your cum and then lay here.”
“I’m gonna cuddle the shit out of you after this.”
“You better,” you grin.
Hyuck smiles against your lips, kissing you again as he fucks you even harder.
The stretch of his girthy cock is unlike anything else- and it feels like heaven as he pounds you into his mattress.
“Rub your clit?” he suggests.
“I can’t- I can’t cum again,” you whimper, still sensitive from your first orgasm.
“I’ll have to train you to cum more after this,” he promises.
You can only grin, drawing his lips to your own again as he uses you to find the ends of his own pleasure.
His whimpering sounds are like music to your ears- fuck, Hyuck is too hot to even imagine. Had this guy really been one of your best friends for this long without you ever exploiting this?
You’re so fucking happy he’d called you and been weird all week- it was the perfect foreplay, and now, you’re completely enraptured by him.
“Shit,” Hyuck groans. 
“You close, baby?” you ask.
“Fuck, call me baby again.”
“Baby,” you whimper, “your cock feels so good in my tight pussy.”
Hyuck moans even louder. 
“Just like that,” you encourage him, tightening your legs on his hips. “Keep doing that- right there-” The tip of his cock is hitting the perfect spots inside of you, and you’re gasping from the feeling, burrowing your face in his throat and panting against his skin.
“Shit, Angel-”
“Cum for me, baby, cum in my pussy,” you urge him.
That’s all it takes for him to explode, letting out a deep groan as he releases deep inside your core, coating your walls with him.
His thrusts falter, his breathing laboured, entire body shivering-
You stroke the back of his head, cooing in his ear, helping him through it until he’s finished, coming to a stop ontop of you and breathing heavily.
“Good boy,” you tease.
Hyuck lets out a deep chuckle, and it turns into a sigh. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
“And you’d love that.”
“I would,” he admits. “Okay, fuck, I’m gonna pull out, gonna grab some tissues and sweat pants- we can head to the bathroom down the hall and hopefully clean up a little, then we’re gonna cuddle.”
“Sounds like a plan to me,” you grin, laying there as he groans and gets off of you, following through with his intentions.
Soon, cum is being wiped from your pussy and you’re being helped into sweatpants.
The two of you exit his room, and you’re very pleased to see that most of the party is downstairs, leaving his floor pretty vacant. 
You make your way to the bathroom with him, clutching his hand.
Once there, you both clean up, and you listen to Hyuck splash water on his face while you pee, making sure all his cum is out of you.
The two of you make it back to his room, collapsing into bed. He pulls you to his chest, cuddling you close.
“Before I pass out… how did you know it was me on the phone?” he asks.
“Out of everyone in the frat, you idolize Johnny the most. It wasn’t a reach that you’d recreate his Ghostie thing last year. On top of that, you’re a film major, you know horror movies better than anyone else. And, you’re a horny fucker, which is something I’ve always loved about you- I just… I needed you to make a move, which you never really did, until now. It just… made sense that it was you. The way we talk to each other, I could tell it was you from the very first call.”
“Here I was, thinking I was all suave and shit.”
“You were very suave, baby,” you grin, pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw.
“Happy Halloween, Angel.”
You giggle. “Happy Halloween.” 
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☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! find my other nct frat fics (including Ghostie) HERE. I made this meme for this fic because it's so them.
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🔮 preview. “So, I’m gonna finger fuck you stupid,” he explains, pushing his digits back into you. “And then, I’m going to apply pressure, right here-” Hyuck’s hand smooths across your abdomen, even the slightest push makes you feel his fingers deep in your core, and you release a whine of pleasure. “Yeah, you’re going to love this,” he confirms with a grin. 
cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, oral ( f receiving), pussy worship, fingering, multiple reader orgasms, overstim, squirting, dirty talk, praise, Hyuck holds the reader down by her abdomen, etc… I petnames: (y/n’s) Angel. (his) Baby. 
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.4k I teaser wc. 220
🌙 staring. Haechan x afab!reader
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bonus
You love Hyuck, you do- but sometimes (especially when watching movies) he has this tendency to… well, never shut up.
“Okay so, coming up, when the alien pops out of his body, the director didn’t tell anyone this was going to happen, so when Sigourney Weaver and the others react, it’s genuine shock and surprise-”
You love his facts too, you do… but… sometimes, they get a bit much.
“Baby,” you coo, cuddling closer to your boyfriend, “Can we just… watch the movie?”
“We are watching the movie.”
“I mean… God, I’m going to sound like a bitch, but can we get through like… ten minutes without a fun fact?”
“But… my fun facts are fun.”
“They are, baby, they are,” you assure him, patting his chest, “I just…” you sigh, “ten minutes?”
“I can think of a distraction for my mouth,” Hyuck grins.
Your pussy immediately flutters, picking up on what he’s saying. “Yeah? Don’t you want to watch the movie?”
“I’ve seen it a billion times.” His hand rubs your shoulder and he nuzzles against your cheek, breath hot on your skin. “Come on, let me eat out your pretty pussy. I’ve been wanting to overstim you for a hot minute- I think I could get three or four out of you while you’re watching.”
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familyabolisher · 1 year ago
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I've walked past the Barbie branded selfie booth, sat through the reel of old commercials that precede the previews, and watched Margot Robbie learn to cry, and I’m still not sure what “doing the thing and subverting the thing,” which Greta Gerwig claimed as the achievement of Barbie in a recent New York Times Magazine profile, could possibly mean. This was the second Gerwig profile the magazine has run. I wrote the first one, in 2017, which in hindsight appears like a warning shot in a publicity campaign that has cemented Gerwig’s reputation as so charming and pure of heart that any choice (we used to call them compromises) she makes is justified, a priori, by her innocence. This is a strange position for an adult to occupy, especially when the two-hour piece of branded content she is currently promoting hinges on a character who discovers that her own innocence is the false product of a fallen world. But—spoiler alert!—the point of Barbie’s “hero’s journey” is less to reconcile Barbie to death than to reconcile the viewer to culture in the age of IP.
“Doing the thing and subverting the thing”: I haven’t finished working out the details, but I think the rough translation would be Getting rich and not feeling feel bad about it. (Or, for the viewer: Having a good time and not feeling bad about it.) One must labor under a rather reduced sense of the word “subvert” to be impressed with poking loving fun at product misfires such as Midge (the pregnant Barbie), Tanner (the dog who poops), and the Ken with the earring, especially given that the value of all these collectors’ items has, presumably, not decreased since the film opened. Barbie may feature a sassy tween sternly informing Robbie’s Stereotypical Barbie that the tiny-waisted top-heavy billion-dollar business she represents has made girls “feel bad” about themselves, but if anyone uttered the word “anorexia,” I missed it. (There was a reason Todd Haynes told the story of Karen Carpenter’s life and death with Barbies, and it wasn’t because an uncanny piece of molded plastic has the magical power to resolve the contradictions of girlhood and global capitalism.) There’s a bit about Robbie going back into a box in the Mattel boardroom, but Barbies aren’t made in an executive suite; they come from factories in China. On the one hand, it’s weird for a film about a real-world commodity to unfold wholly in the realm of ideas and feelings, but then again, that’s pretty much the definition of branding. Mattel doesn’t care if we buy Barbie dolls—they’re happy to put the word “Barbie” on sunglasses and T-shirts, or license clips from the movie for an ad for Google. OK, here’s my review: When Gerwig first visited Mattel HQ in October 2019, the company’s stock was trading at less than twelve dollars a share. Today the price is $21.40. 
Christine Smallwood, Who Was Barbie?
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theonottsbxtch · 5 months ago
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Secret Sister | OP81
in which lando has a secret sister and oscar falls hard and fast
oscar piastri x norris!reader
fc: sophia birlem
a/n: lol hello this is my first ever smau, everyone say thank you rianna. hope you enjoy this and if you have any requests lmk!
landonorris:
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liked by ynnorris, oscarpiastri, maxfewtrell and 1376 more
happy 21st birthday to this gremlin, ig being your big brother is fun or whatever @/ynnorris
*tap to load comments*
userone: i’m sorry i beg your pardon what
usertwo: someone say sike rn
maxfewtrell: lando you’re going to break the internet with this post
userthree: a bit too late
userfour: YOU KNEW?!
ynnorris: guys i’ve been held captive for 21 years. dobby is free!
yourbestfriend: how long have you been waiting to say that?
ynnorris: 3 years
userfive: how did lando manage to pull this off for so long?!
oscarpiastri: you have a sister??
maxverstappen1: lando what?
usersix: it’s the way lando just hardlaunched that he had a sister for me 😭
alex_albon: I KNEW IT
georgerussell63 : i’m so sorry i never believed you
alex_albon: i was onto him back in 2019, you guys just thought i was delusional😞
userseven: moral of the story, always trust alex
ynnorris
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liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, maxfewtrell and 47 others
hello world. twenty first and graduation? now you guys know who the smartest norris is xx
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landonorris: you’re public for one day and you already start publicly bullying me wtf
userone: oh i like her already
usertwo: sorry did i just see she graduated in computer science? from edinburgh? we love an educated queen
yourbestfriend: world’s hottest programmer
ynnorris: get it on a top
yourbestfriend: yes ma’am
userthree: why did she have to wait until her 21st to post? i’m so confused 😭
userfour: maybe lando didnt want her to be in the limelight and now that she’s an adult she’s in control of it?
userthree: oh that makes sense
ynnorris: he just didn’t want people to know that his sister is 100x cooler than him
userfive: yn pls 😭😭😭
oscarpiastri: hello
ynnorris: hello
landonorris: not happening
usersix: oh no poor lando 😭
maxverstappen1: @/landonorris i refuse to believe she’s real, tell her to come to monaco with a birth certificate
imessage
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twitter
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instagram - ynnorris
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liked by landonorris, yourbestfriend, oscarpiastri and 973 others
just arrived to monaco and lan’s ditched me for max, give me recs x
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userone: i love that she thinks we’re rich enough to ever be in monaco
usertwo: the waterfront!
yourbestfriend: what happened to “we’ll go together”?
ynnorris: you chose your girlfriend over me 😁
yourbestfriend: she is quite literally graduating today
ynnorris: then don’t complain x
userthree: that’s a few too many suitcases no?
oscarpiastri: the vaundé bakery or the hiking trail
ynnorris: noted 🫡
userfour: something is going to happen between them two i’m calling it now
instagram dms
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ynnorris
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, yourbestfriend and 2734 others
i guess i understand why lando left gloomy london for this
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userone: where are the insta detectives, is that the bakery oscar recommended
usertwo: it is!
userthree: is that oscar?
oscarpiastri: no
userthree: oh no he’s experiencing his first heartbreak
landonorris: lol
userfour: foul
userfive: she’s living the dream
yourbestfriend: i miss u
ynnorris: come here, lando said i could invite anyone
landonorris: i did not.
ynnorris: do you want mum and dad to find out what happened to the clutch of their old fiesta?
landonorris: @/yourbestfriend what i meant to say is you’re more than welcome
usersix: she’s so effortlessly funny
imessage
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ynnorris
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, maxfewtrell and 7610 others
monaco over and out, see you soon 😉
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userone: is that oscar??
usertwo: god she is so pretty
userthree: i know oscar’s back when i see it
oscarpiastri: photo credits? 🙄
userfour: i knew it!
ynnorris: the photos are mediocre at best
oscarpiastri: take them down then, copyright 😤
ynnorris: big baby 😤
userfive: wait they’re so cute
maxfewtrell: oh yn
yourbestfriend: he’s going to kill you
landonorris: is that my balcony?
landonorris: answer the phone yn
ynnorris: no x
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sevenblues · 2 years ago
Text
ppl hating on the weeknd even though i knew he was an incel since like last year
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