#sharing the way THEY do things. no perfectionism or “one right way.”

[knifeforkspooncup]

My dream is literally just to have enough time and energy to share my skills with other people.

I long to invite someone over and show them how to bake my favourite cake recipe. How great would it be to show someone how to tie a bowline knot in a way they'll remember? Yes, I would actuallt love for you to come over to my house and learn stained glass with all my supplies, it would make my year. Oh your parents never taught you how to use an electric drill or how to change the oil filter on your car? Don't work luv I'll walk you through it. Here don't forget your eye protection.

[burntoutdaydreamer]

Weird Brain Hacks That Help Me Write

I'm a consistently inconsistent writer/aspiring novelist, member of the burnt-out-gifted-kid-to-adult-ADHD-diagnosis-pipeline, recently unemployed overachiever, and person who's sick of hearing the conventional neurotypical advice to dealing with writer's block (i.e. "write every single day," or "there's no such thing as writer's block- if you're struggling to write, just write" Like F*CK THAT. Thank you, Brenda, why don't you go and tell someone with diabetes to just start producing more insulin?)

I've yet to get to a point in my life where I'm able to consistently write at the pace I want to, but I've come a long way from where I was a few years ago. In the past five years I've written two drafts of a 130,000 word fantasy novel (currently working on the third) and I'm about 50,000 words in on the sequel. I've hit a bit of a snag recently, but now that I've suddenly got a lot of time on my hands, I'm hoping to revamp things and return to the basics that have gotten me to this point and I thought I might share.

1) My first draft stays between me and God

I find that I and a lot of other writers unfortunately have gotten it into our heads that first drafts are supposed to resemble the finished product and that revisions are only for fixing minor mistakes. Therefore, if our first draft sucks that must mean we suck as writers and having to rewrite things from scratch means that means our first draft is a failure.

I'm here to say that is one of the most detrimental mentalities you can have as a writer.

Ever try drawing a circle? You know how when you try to free-hand draw a perfect circle in one go, it never turns out right? Whereas if you scribble, say, ten circles on top of one another really quickly and then erase the messy lines until it looks like you drew a circle with a singular line, it ends up looking pretty decent?

Yeah. That's what the drafting process is.

Your first draft is supposed to suck. I don't care who you are, but you're never going to write a perfect first draft, especially if you're inexperienced. The purpose of the first draft is to lay down a semi-workable foundation. A really loose, messy sketch if you will. Get it all down on paper, even if it turns out to be the most cliche, cringe-inducing writing you've ever done. You can work out those kinks in the later drafts. The hardest part of the first draft is the most crucial part: getting started. Don't stress yourself out and make it even harder than it already is.

If that means making a promise to yourself that no one other than you will ever read your first draft unless it's over your cold, dead body, so be it.

2) Tell perfectionism to screw off by writing with a pen

I used to exclusively write with pencil until I realized I was spending more time erasing instead of writing.

Writing with a pen keeps me from editing while I right. Like, sometimes I'll have to cross something out or make notes in the margins, but unlike erasing and rewriting, this leaves the page looking like a disaster zone and that's a good thing.

If my writing looks like a complete mess on paper, that helps me move past the perfectionist paralysis and just focus on getting words down on the page. Somehow seeing a page full of chicken scratch makes me less worried about making my writing all perfect and pretty- and that helps me get on with my main goal of fleshing out ideas and getting words on a page.

3) It's okay to leave things blank when you can't think of the right word

My writing, especially my first draft, is often filled with ___ and .... and (insert name here) and red text that reads like stage directions because I can't think of what is supposed to go there or the correct way to write it.

I found it helps to treat my writing like I do multiple choice tests. Can't think of the right answer? Just skip it. Circle it, come back to it later, but don't let one tricky question stall you to the point where you run out of brain power or run out of time to answer the other questions.

If I'm on a role, I'm not gonna waste it by trying to remember that exact word that I need or figure out the right transition into the next scene or paragraph. I'm just going to leave it blank, mark to myself that I'll need to fix the problem later, and move on.

Trust me. This helps me sooooo much with staying on a roll.

4) Write Out of Order

This may not be for everyone, but it works wonders for me.

Sure, the story your writing may need to progress chronologically, but does that mean you need to write it chronologically? No. It just needs to be written.

I generally don't do this as much for editing, but for writing, so long as you're making progress, it doesn't matter if it's in the right order. Can't think of how to structure Chapter 2, but you have a pretty good idea of how your story's going to end? Write the ending then. You'll have to go back and write Chapter 2 eventually, but if you're feeling more motivated to write a completely different part of the book, who's to say you can't do that?

When I'm working on a project, I start off with a single document that I title "Scrap for (Project Title)" and then just write whatever comes to mind, in whatever order. Once I've gotten enough to work with, then I start outlining my plot and predicting how many chapters I'm going to need. Then, I create separate google docs for each individual chapter and work on them in whatever order I feel like, often leaving several partially complete as I jump from one to the other. Then, as each one gets finished, I copy and paste the chapter into the full manuscript document. This means that the official "draft" could have Chapters 1 and 9, but completely be missing Chapters 2-8, and that's fine. It's not like anyone will ever know once I finish it.

Sorry for the absurdly long post. Hopes this helps someone. Maybe I'll share more tricks in the future.

[glowettee]

how to recover from chronic procrastination (not just time management tips)

by mindy @glowettee

i wanted to talk about healing your relationship with time and tasks when you're stuck in a deep procrastination cycle. i've been in this cycle for a month now, and just recently got out of it using all of these methods. please just remember to be gentle to yourself, and take small steps.

understanding your procrastination:

identifying emotional triggers: notice what feelings come up right before you avoid tasks. is it fear? overwhelm? sometimes it's as subtle as a tiny flutter of anxiety

recognizing avoidance patterns: maybe you always clean your room when essays are due, or suddenly need to reorganize your pinterest boards before studying

spotting perfectionism links: notice when you're not starting because you're afraid it won't be perfect. this often shows up as "i'll start when i feel more prepared"

understanding fear responses: your body might feel heavy, or you might get suddenly sleepy when facing certain tasks. these are actually fear responses in disguise

mapping procrastination cycles: track how one avoided task creates a domino effect of more procrastination. it's usually a sweet little pattern we can gently break

emotional recovery steps:

healing task-related anxiety: create tiny, sweet rituals that make tasks feel safe. maybe light a candle before starting or use your prettiest pen

building self-trust again: start with promises so small they feel silly. like "i'll work for just two minutes" and actually stop after two minutes

developing completion confidence: collect evidence of times you've finished things, even tiny things like making your bed or sending a text

managing overwhelm spirals: catch yourself before the "i have so much to do" spiral starts. write everything down in your prettiest handwriting

creating safety in starting: make beginning feel cozy. wrap yourself in a soft blanket, make tea, create a gentle environment for work

rebuilding work capacity:

micro-task training: start with tasks so tiny they feel almost meaningless. maybe just open your laptop or take out one book

starting-point exercises: practice just beginning things without the pressure to finish. it's like dipping your toes in a pool

momentum building: string tiny tasks together like beads on a necklace. each small completion leads to another

success spirals: document every tiny win in a pretty journal. watching the pages fill creates its own kind of motivation

confidence restoration: celebrate completing even the smallest tasks. treat each one like a tiny victory worth noting

practical healing methods:

task relationship repair: make peace with tasks that scare you. talk to them like old friends you're getting to know again

emotional safety nets: create comfort zones within your work space. maybe a special corner with fairy lights and soft pillows

anxiety soothing techniques: develop gentle ways to calm your nervous system. perhaps counting flower petals or tracing patterns

overwhelm prevention: break everything down into pieces so small they feel almost silly. like "open notebook" as a complete task

progress preservation: keep a soft, gentle record of all your tiny steps forward. no progress is too small to celebrate

creating new patterns:

gentle accountability: find ways to be accountable that don't feel punishing. maybe share your tiny goals with a friend

achievement recognition: notice and celebrate every small completion, even just getting out your materials

progress celebration: create sweet little rewards for progress. maybe a favorite song or a moment with your comfort book

pattern interruption: catch old patterns with gentleness. "oh, there's my pinterest avoidance. how sweet of me to try to protect myself"

identity rebuilding: slowly start seeing yourself as someone who can start and finish things, one tiny step at a time

maintaining recovery:

preventing relapse: notice early warning signs with kindness. catch yourself before the avoidance cycle starts

managing setbacks: treat setbacks like gentle reminders to return to your healing practices

building resilience: each time you start again, you're building stronger foundations

sustaining progress: keep your momentum gentle and sustainable

adapting strategies: adjust your approaches with tenderness as you learn what works best for you

remember: recovering from chronic procrastination is about healing, not just forcing yourself to work.

tip: small wins create the foundation for bigger changes 🤍

p.s. you're not lazy, you're healing from task trauma.

[hawthornclangen]

Moon 0 Allegiances!

Morningstar, the son of Glintmark, has been the leader of HawthornClan for only a few moons. He has taken to the position like fish to water, though, and with his mother as his right-paw cat, he feels comfortable in his new role.

Glintmark never had any aspirations for leadership herself, but she could not deny her son's wish when he asked her to become his deputy. Some in the clan raise their brows at the choice, especially since the late leader Weepingstar was her own sister.

Supporting them is the clan's only current healer, Nightfeather. Though.... He spends more time gallivanting at the edges of their territory - and outside of them, when the fancy strikes - than actually healing. Still, he loves his clan more than anything, and will do his job when it is really needed.

Froststream is the elder brother of Cloudwish, and the two are incredibly close. While Froststream is cool and closed off most of the time, he does open up around his sister. The two are the only survivors of their family after war with WolfClan took their parents and the Woods claimed their littermates, and thus, they are extremely protective of one another.

Cloudwish can seem distant like her brother, as she tends to live with her head in the clouds. She dreams of a kinder world, one where they wouldn't have to fight for every breath and every paw's-length of territory. She loves her brother and looks up to him greatly, even dreaming of one day ruling HawthornClan at his side.

Gorseflame is... a lonely cat. She is incredibly smart and great at telling stories when she doesn't let her overthinking get in the way. She craves the company of others but doesn't quite know how to let other cats get close to her; she fears losing them the same way she has so many of her loved ones.

Hickorypaw is considered by many in the clan to have a bright future ahead of him, despite his insecurities. He is very hard on himself to the point of perfectionism - a trait which is not aided by the fact that he is mentored by Morningstar himself. Hickorypaw feels enormous pressure to become a warrior worthy of having received such an honor.

Plumpaw, on the other hand, is relaxed almost to the point of laziness. She has grown cold despite her young age mostly thanks to the numerous losses the clan has suffered as of late. What is the point in even trying, she wonders, if the beasts will steal the lives of even their most talented warriors anyway?

Dawnkit and Morelkit are not related by blood, but many in the clan treat them like siblings anyway. The two fight and bicker all the time, yet when night comes, they always curl up next to each other on their shared nest in the nursery. Older cats have noticed that both kits seem capable of seeing things most cats can't - a fact which worries them greatly.

---

aaaaand there we go! I've played about a year ahead with these guys, so that's what I mostly based their larger personalities on. can't wait to show you guys all that these dumb battle cats get up to!

[urautismdiagnosis-wistie]

Peso

Edit: THIS DESIGN IS OLD AND I JIST WANNA SHARE THAT I THINK I DRAW HIM BETTER NOW 🗣 enjoy the post tho lol

Peso my lil Habibi <3 <3 <3

hes just a top tier character

my Hispanic coded son, mylil guy who's learning how to believe in himself

i just I lovepeso guys he's so pure and supportive and caring and lighthearted and silly and he's really doing his best??

he could probably cure my mentally illness with a bandage I'm sure

imgonna be so real I think he has game tho, like I'm 300% he could pull any maiden

he can become friends with like any sea creature too probably

hes my hero and my son and I think he low-key judges everyone internally

cuz like idk if y'all have met people who refuse to swear out loud verbally and hate confrontation, but the internal dialogue omg

i just know one of these days if he gets pushed too far hes gonna threaten someone with his slappity flippers

like y'all know the look birds do where they just sideye you??

that glance???

i think he does that whenever people do things that are stupid

like he loves them all dearly but shellington why would you touch The THing That Will Hurt you, no shellington you cant eat that for science-

Also I think he and dashi would listen to music together i think they might spend evenings relaxing together. I mean their rooms are right next to eachother so like I'm sure they've had some lovely little evening conversations and stuff 🥰 i can just imagine dashi tryna teach peso yoga and like 😩🙏his penguin body wasn't built for it but he still slays

Hes like the little sibling but in the actually I am the most mature way???

I think its cuz he looks up to alot of the other members (altho he's definitely gotten alot more confident as the show has progressed) but he also like..

He gives me the vibes of the oldest sibling of not just the siblings but of all the cousins??? This might just be me projecting but like why did u even become a medic for such a wide range of medical creatures and sign up to join the newly formed highly experimental water nasa???

I think he probably had alot of high expectations on himself because everyone just always believed he could do anything. And that sounds super supportive in theory but when ur like tryna be the oldest and first one to support ur family and everyone is always looking at u because like.. most other people in ur family are younger or ehatever.. that pressure and extra attention can cause alot of perfectionism and high self standards

That mixed with being The Caretaker in your family especially as a child is a pretty good recipe for getting anxious about any big goal in your life and how others perceive you. I think he tried to like humble himself by saying oh no I'm not really capable of all those amazing things so pls don't have those huge expectations hahaha but then it just turned into not believing in himself as much???

Also we slay genuinely caring and kind people having alot of pent up frustration they never show because they love everyone too much. It still hurts inside tho.

Anyways uhhhhhhhhhhh this totally ain't me projectin or anythin.

also hes like a mixed kid, but he's mostly gentoo penguin id say based on my own design

speaking of penguins I think that their homes would be actually made of stone lol. Their homes would have like different smaller homes for privacy around like communal areas.. they still gotta deal with predstors like albatross or ehstever tho. But their albatross for example might work in groups or even be larger.

Friendly reminder my lore for the octonauts is a bit different than the Canon. Sure People People being like hunted is wayyyy less common than irl but They're basically still playing their evolutionary roles kinda like how we see with sea otters in the show.

I'm gonna make the post for their social norms and etc on this within the next few days actually lol but back to peso

Do u guys ever think peso wouldve jumpscared the crew by being like "oh no the shelf is too tall!" And then busting out the "hey did you know that penguin legs are just folded and much horrifically longer than ud think they are?" On them 😩🙏

"Wh- why would ye show me this??"

" because no one will ever believe you"

Hes very sweet but I think he deserves to be a little bit of a sneaky sht

If uve made it this far thanks for reading the brainrot I hope it was comprehensible pls lmk ur headcanons about him cuz I need more ngl

[puzzleglum]

To share at least one post for the 10 year anniversary of The Glass Scientists, here's a theory for the next few pages!

I believe Fake!Jasper is finally gonna show up. Sage confirmed a while ago that we'd see him eventually. And I think his words will carry more teeth than those from the other "fake" constructed-image people in Jekyll and Hyde's head. He's likely still gonna have a face, because the real Jasper hasn't been knocked off the pedestal Jekyll put him on, yet.

What does Fake!Jasper represent? Mainly, the Good Leader, and Jekyll's shame of not living up to that ideal. Jasper knew just what to do to get through to the Lodgers, and convince them all to get back to work on the Exhibition, remember?

Fake!Jasper could be really nasty. He could be the voice in Jekyll's head that's saying: now that you've sacrificed yourself, you are FINALLY a Good Leader. You did it. Don't you dare be selfish and take it back! They don't need you anymore. You're replaceable. The real Jasper can handle things without you.

Remember Jekyll's last words to the Society, before he buried himself in his mind?

Yeah. Oof.

Another source of shame is how Jasper called Jekyll out on his wallowing, over Lanyon AND the Lodgers. Because he was right, Jekyll was wallowing. And in particular, I'd like to point out how Jasper challenged Jekyll's belief that it's simply impossible for queer people to be happy, and find lasting relationships.

Look at these thoughts Jekyll has, waking up the morning after he FINALLY took the risk of telling Lanyon he truly wanted him. Thus getting back together, after so long of suffering, and pining for him in silence.

So another thing Fake!Jasper could represent is Jekyll's shame and frustration over not saying anything to Lanyon, about his true feelings, for 15 years.

The real Jasper isn't perfect at leadership either, or navigating the troubles that often come with being queer. But the "fake" people, that represent constructed images and the shame of not living up to them, aren't about being real. They're voices in Jekyll's head that poke at him for not being "perfect" and "good" and living up to impossible, pure ideals. Perfect boxes, that nobody actually fits into fully. And yet Jekyll wishes he did.

Shame is Jekyll’s prison. He's always comparing himself negatively to his idols, the people he admires. He feels like a fraud, an imposter who tries to emulate them, but always falls short in some way. Not a real aristocrat. Not a real scientist. Not a real leader. Henry Jekyll is basically impostor syndrome personified.

He needs to let them go. To ignore them. Their control over him, the shame of not living up perfectly to ANY of these ideals. Nobody does! Remember when Fake!Lanyon talked about the reason he lost his face?

Where do these impossible ideals even come from, if nobody actually lives up to them? That, too, is a question that likely needs to be answered in the narrative.

As for me, I think it has a lot to do with Jekyll's anxiety, self-hatred, perfectionism, and tendency to negatively compare himself to others. He often thinks others must be better than him in some way. Uncritically listening to these voices is another way Jekyll tends to harm himself.

Note that Jekyll called Hyde a mistake before, and now that's echoed by Fake!Lanyon. These voices say things that Jekyll believes about himself, deep down. That's why dealing with them is important.

It's only right that Hyde should have to face them now, theme, character arc, and narrative wise. These insecurities are some of the reasons Jekyll chose to bury himself away, resigned to his own fate. Hyde needs to argue back against these voices--or at least acknowledge and understand them and what they TRULY are, and so figure out how to properly ignore them--before he's ready to face Jekyll. Hyde will need to gain some insights into their own head (their psyche, why they are the way they are), if he wants to have any hope of convincing Jekyll to come back to the waking world.

However it's gonna go, I'm very excited to see this confrontation between Hyde, and Jekyll's voices of shame and insecurities continue! Thanks for reading, and please share any thoughts in the replies or tags! I love reading people's feedback!!

(Also, if my arguments don't quite cohere, please feel free to blame it on me being sick while I wrote this. Agh! I'm very tired of the fact I got sick again within a two month period. Sigh. Writing needs must, sometimes.)

[hotchfiles]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ❝ on my mind since the flood ❞ ─ a darling, in any life blurb

pairing: aaron hotchner x reader. summary: the red thread between two people destined to be together may stretch and tangle, but those ties will never break. or: a 45min train ride makes two 43 year olds feel like teenagers. content warnings: divorce babes, divorce. kinda spoiler-ish. watch the 3rd season before. the reader has a backstory and a job, if that bothers you grow up don't read. word count: 960+

Your hair was different, that was the first thing he noticed.

Much like himself, you had soft wrinkles beginning to show up on your forehead and around your eyes, a gift from your late thirties that kept on giving. Your eyes were the same though, he could recognize those anywhere at anytime, even if it had been decades since the last time they stared back at his. Your nose, your lips. Your smile. The way his name sounded coming from your tongue. It was all extremely familiar, as if he was fifteen again.

"You're staring, like a creep, airhead." The old nickname rolls out like you had spent merely seconds apart and it makes him laugh, it has been weeks, maybe months since he last laughed genuinely like that, with his whole face.

"I just got lost—" In your eyes. "In my memories for a bit. You look so much the same."

"Well, my pay check won't allow me any plastic surgeries so—"

"Wise ass." And there it was, like a reflex, his own nickname to you leaving his lips before he even thought about it, if he did think about it he probably would've held it in, a 43 year old FBI agent using childish nicknames not being the best look, but it didn't feel like that with you, at all, it felt natural. You both laugh at it for a second and a comfortable silence follows it, but Aaron couldn't keep it like that, he needed to know more, where have you been, what were you doing... Have you been in Virginia for long? He kept it as casual as he could considering his curiosity, "How have you been?"

"Alright, good, yeah. I’m teaching at Scalia, started this year, I want to keep practicing though, but I’m gonna settle down in Virginia first." You shrug, taking a sip of your coffee. You were purposefully leaving details out, you had seen him on TV a lot since coming back to the states, FBI, profiler. You wanted to see how much could he get from you without words. "What about you, mister FBI hotshot?"

If you two were still teens the way your teasing came out would've made him blush, and quite frankly if he wasn't so self controlled maybe he would've blushed right now, he did feel warm, but instead he just let a chuckle out of his throat, "Well, FBI hotshot just had his divorce finalized, not that glamorous being in these shoes." You already knew what he was doing with his life, it made sense to give the only actual news he had, "Scalia? Law degree too, then." Aaron clicks his tongue, not holding back the instant smirk the realization brought. "Your mother used to say we were so similar we shared the same brain, remember?"

"Welcome to the club, then! Meeting every Friday, membership perks only after the second one, though." His eyes went straight to your fingers, seeing the lack of any rings he nods to himself. Twice divorced. Dark heavy coat, makeup accentuating your features, red lips, hair pulled back. You care about being seen, and desired, but don't want to be approached, a teacher-lawyer, no time, a lot of perfectionism. "Yeah, I stay far away from criminal. Civil and International Law cases mostly. Families, divorces, cross-board custodies." A child of divorce trying to save other children of divorce. Very typical behavior.

Aaron felt like he could stay like this for hours on end, sitting by your side uncomfortably on the train after fate pulled you two to one another again, hearing you tell him about your life in London, your divorces, your time in college. You made him feel young, like you were still his childhood best friend who he fell for. Like if he were to kiss you like he did when you were both thirteen you would still blush and grip tightly on his shirt. Nostalgia was indeed a bittersweet thing.

"I think when you moved away was the last time I openly sobbed." He shakes his head, the thought leaving his brain in a quiet, hushed voice tone, like a secret he wasn't supposed to be telling. It had been years, you were both fifteen when your parents got divorced and you were taken to England with your father. 28 years since the last time he saw you, and he still can feel the same pain if he thinks too hard about it, the way his heart felt like was being sliced apart, getting smaller by the minute as your father's car got further and further away. His mood soured in a way his feelings were only able to function normally again after meeting Haley.

Your hand softly touched his with the confession, your thumb going to his palm and drawing small comforting circles, "I cried myself to sleep a lot that year." Aaron glued his eyes on the way your hands touched, and you thought he might reject it, find it weird after so many years, but instead he just closed his around yours tightly, a silent thankful prayer to the universe, mixed with the warning that he had no intention to let go.

You both stay like that as you talk the rest of the ride, cellphone numbers and e-mails are exchanged, along with longing glances beginning to make you shy like the school girl you once were, when you fell for him the first time. You often wondered what would've happened if you stayed in Washington. Before Jack, Aaron wondered it too from time to time, but truly, he wouldn't do anything different now, he wouldn't choose any alternative ending that would take Jack from him.

But at least now he had a second chance, right?

[greenbubblefactory]

Matchup for @ay-na

Congratulations you have a match with..

Vil Schoenheit!

★The connection between you and Vil Schoenheit is rooted in a shared sense of ambition, emotional depth, and a drive for self-improvement. Both of you hold yourselves to incredibly high standards, always striving to be the best version of yourselves in everything you do, whether it's academically, emotionally, or creatively. Vil’s intense perfectionism is mirrored in your own careful attention to detail, which makes him someone who truly understands your inner workings and your deep desire to improve. Your love for strategy and thinking before acting aligns perfectly with Vil’s calculated approach to life. He never rushes into things without considering every possible outcome, and that trait resonates deeply with you, as you tend to be more introspective and careful about your decisions as well.

★What sets Vil apart, however, is his drive to not just achieve, but to exceed expectations. While you may sometimes struggle with pushing yourself too far or neglecting self-care in the name of ambition, Vil has an innate understanding of balance. He knows the importance of taking care of one's mental and physical well-being, and that knowledge would be crucial in helping you navigate your own tendency to overwork yourself. He would encourage you to take breaks, to treat yourself with kindness, and to remember that even perfectionists need rest. Vil's gentle yet firm reminders would guide you to avoid burning out and ensure that you continue to grow at a pace that’s both sustainable and fulfilling.

★You are someone who tends to keep your emotions close to your chest. You value your solitude and often prefer not to burden others with your feelings, choosing to quietly work through them on your own. However, Vil, with his keen eye for detail, would notice the slightest changes in your behavior and moods. Whether it's a shift in your tone, body language, or the quiet tension that lingers in your expression, Vil would immediately pick up on it. And while he might not always vocalize his concern right away, he would be there, observing and offering subtle support when needed. Unlike many who might try to push you to open up too quickly, Vil would give you the space you need, offering gentle encouragement until you're ready to share what's on your mind.

★Your quiet strength would appeal to Vil, who often carries the weight of expectations from both the public and himself. He can relate to the internal pressure that comes from constantly being in the spotlight, and in a way, your emotional distance and introspection would give him a sense of relief. You wouldn’t demand his attention at all times, and that would allow him to find peace in your presence. The emotional support would be mutual,while you might not outwardly express your need for emotional intimacy, Vil’s actions and words would help you feel deeply cared for, allowing you to soften and trust him over time.

★One of Vil’s most endearing qualities is his loyalty, and this is a trait that you, too, deeply value. You tend to be slow to trust others due to your fear of betrayal, but once you��ve earned Vil’s trust, you would see a side of him that’s dedicated, protective, and unwavering. He would never betray your trust, and his word would mean everything to you. This bond of mutual trust and respect would be the foundation of a strong and lasting relationship between the two of you. You would know that no matter what happens, Vil would always be there for you, standing by your side when you need him the most.

★What makes Vil such a great match for you is his ability to inspire you to push past your self-imposed limitations. You may often doubt your abilities or feel insecure, especially when you’re facing a challenge that feels insurmountable. However, Vil’s unwavering confidence in your potential would help you see the strength and talent within yourself. He would not only believe in you but would actively encourage you to embrace your skills and talents, even when you find it difficult to do so. Vil’s perfectionism might sometimes come off as demanding, but his intentions are always to help you grow and reach your full potential.

★He would constantly challenge you to be better, but in a way that feels supportive rather than harsh. You might not always agree with his methods, but deep down, you’d understand that he only pushes you because he sees the greatness within you. His constructive feedback would help you sharpen your skills and develop an even deeper understanding of who you are and what you’re capable of. Your mutual drive for growth and improvement would foster a healthy sense of competition between the two of you, but not in a way that breeds animosity. Instead, it would be a motivating force that helps both of you push beyond your limits, with each of you acting as the other’s mirror,reflecting back what you could be if you just had the courage to take that next step.

★Vil’s love language, although subtle, is rooted in acts of service and words of affirmation. He would express his affection through small but meaningful gestures,whether it's leaving encouraging notes for you, cooking you a meal when you're feeling down, or helping you organize your thoughts when you’re overwhelmed. While you might not be the type to overtly express your feelings, Vil would have no problem letting you know just how much you mean to him. He would shower you with thoughtful words that let you know how important you are to him, ensuring that you never question your place in his life.

★On your end, you would show your affection in more understated ways. You might bake him his favorite treats, create little tokens of appreciation, or simply spend time with him, allowing him to feel your support without having to say anything at all. Your nurturing side would come out in moments when you see him struggling, and you would quietly offer your help in ways that only you know how. While you may sometimes feel guilty about not voicing your feelings as openly as you’d like, Vil would understand your quiet way of showing love and would appreciate the thoughtfulness behind it. In return, he would reassure you that his love for you is not dependent on grand gestures or constant verbal affirmation, but on the quiet, consistent care you give him in your own way.

★While your relationship with Vil would mostly be one of mutual respect and support, there would also be moments of challenge. You are both perfectionists, and there may be times when you clash over the best way to approach a situation or the ideal way to handle a problem. However, these disagreements would not lead to tension but would instead serve as opportunities for growth. You would both learn to compromise, finding ways to blend your styles in a way that allows you to achieve your goals without losing sight of each other’s needs.

★Vil, for all his confidence, can sometimes be a little too hard on himself, and you might find yourself stepping in to remind him that it's okay to not always be perfect. In turn, he would be there for you, encouraging you to step out of your shell when self-doubt creeps in, helping you see how capable you truly are. You would both challenge each other to be better, but you would do so in ways that strengthen your bond rather than undermine it. Your relationship would be one of constant evolution, where both of you grow together, pushing each other to reach new heights while also being there to catch each other when you fall.

English is not my first language so I'm sorry if there are any spelling mistakes!

[ducktracy]

i hope you dont mind me asking; but do you have any general tips for getting into/starting storyboarding? or anything on fighting perfectionism when you draw??? im having a hard time just actually drawing to begin with because of it and its gotten worse and worse recently and its just... really disheartening ghsjdkmgs- ive been combing through bsky for production art for the day the earth blew up and looking through storyboards in general has always really inspired me; the way that it doesnt Need to be perfect and just needs to like, convey the absolute basics and get the idea across has always been really comforting in a weird roundabout way? if that makes sense hdsjkmgsd-

HEY THERE!! i don't mind at all, i'm so flattered you'd come to me!

to answer the first part of your question, i'm going to link to some posts (here and here) where i've answered the same question. NOT because i don't respect your time (trust me, i hate being like "eh just go with all the others and look at this" LOL), but because i trust Past Me to have answered it a bit more clearly and clearheadedly than Present-Me, who would just be rambling trying to think of what Past Me has said. so i hope these are helpful!

THE SECOND PART OF YOUR QUESTION! you are both asking the right and wrong person, because i struggle TREMENDOUSLY with this as well! right in that i can offer empathy/share my experiences, wrong in that i still don't quite have a cure-all and it's something i'm struggling with right at this very second :')

but, as someone with debilitating OCD and perfectionism (to the point where it extends to even the most inconsequential of tasks and habits completely unrelated to art--even/especially things i enjoy doing!!), i struggle HARD with this. and my director turned me onto a bit of a lifesaver that's streamlined my storyboarding process tremendously: THE CHICKEN SCRATCH METHOD.

it's exactly as it sounds. just churn out the quickest, most juvenile scribbles imaginable. you're not thinking about drawing at all. it's just to get something down on paper--starting is always one of the most difficult parts for me, and once i have something down, even if it is GODAWFUL, i feel like i've broken the ice a bit and can carve deeper.

i'm linking (and posting screenshots) from this WIP animatic i posted last week--more than half of it is chickenscratch, and me doing exactly what i do for work! this is how i start every single storyboard. complete 4 year old level scribbles. even Porky here is a bit too fancy, you can see i gave him (and Daffy's face) construction lines out of habit haha. you don't need to do that yet!!

but, also, you can see that earlier on in the animatic, where i've begun to clean it up (i call them "drawovers"), it looks like my normal art style!

i also again recommend actually watching the video, because the motion is the important thing here--you can see how articulated my drawovers are in drawing and acting in comparison to the chickenscratch bits, which are a bit more broad but still convey a general idea

what i also tend to do is chickenscratch my chickenscratches--for my boards, i usually will doodle the broad acting ideas elsewhere, and then transfer those ideas onto my board. it helps with that feeling of easing in and doesn't make me feel as suffocated by a blank screen. i will say that i've been working on excising this process entirely, as it's sort of unnecessary and maybe more of an omission of my own lack of artistic confidence HAHA--i'm trying to get there! but it helps with the artistic brain demons and makes getting started easier, and that's the important thing

and, again, these are a bit fancier than what i usually do: here's some old thumbs for an actual section i boarded for work

it's also very good for someone like me--i'm an extraordinarily detail-oriented person, but i really struggle with the bigger picture. this commonly bites me in the butt when i'm storyboarding, as sometimes i have difficulty visualizing how a sequence will flow in the grand scheme of things. and since my entire job is being An Artist Who Draws Images In Sequential Order, That Go Into A Sequence, That Relies On Every Little Part To Be Working, Because It Is A Sequence, that's not very good! and so chicken scratch helps exactly with that. you're communicating the main idea. you're putting the foundation down, and you're able to get a vague idea of how the ideas and sequences flow together.

HOWEVER. i will say that's about the most advice i can give before it delves into "if you find the answer, lemme know" HAHA. my boards for work are stupidly clean and should not be as stupidly clean as they are. it's something i've been trying to work on for years--i still struggle with getting into board artist/animator brain vs illustrator brain, and a lot of times i'll have a very pretty drawing, but it isn't functional at all and i'll have to throw it out. and it's my own fault! THIS IS SUCH A HARSH METAPHOR and i said it once to my director before being like "wait wow wtf is wrong with me for saying this" LMAO but it's still the most apt way i can describe it. clearly gotta work on my artistic confidence. but in regards to this, i've said "a polished turd is still a turd" and there is hopefully a much kinder way of getting that point across, but yes--clean drawings are not the end all and be all of boarding and animation! in fact, in my experience, they cause more harm than good! i've been trying very hard to unlearn it, it's been a very difficult and taxing and frustrating process that's soured a lot of my already meager artistic confidence--but that means i'm growing and learning.

a common mantra we try to recite is "clear, not clean". and the TDTEBU boards (which, aren't they amazing??) is the very definition of that! i'm trying to beat that into myself more and more. likewise, working on the Sponge shows is a bit of a special circumstance since the animators directly trace off of our boards; what we draw is what ends up on screen. that includes mistakes. there's definitely a higher amount of pressure, especially compared to feature boarding where there seems to be a lot more leeway for looseness. so i'm maybe coming from SOMEwhere here HAHA, but yes, clear, not clean!!

i say all of this knowing i'm going to clean up my pig and duck animatic and have it be as clean as my boards for work, sort of defeating the entire purpose :') i still have a lot to learn and internalize, obviously! but i hope this at least offers some camaraderie and the understanding that you are NOT ALONE! i struggle with Perfectionism Paralysis with every single task i ever do, i'm much less fond of my art than i come off, etc... but i'm working on it and i know we'll both do great!!!

i hope this could be helpful, or at least reassuring!! thank you so much for coming to me, and i wish you the best of luck! you've got this!!

[vidavalor]

Supreme Archangel

On the pun-loving, wordplay-happy Good Omens, what would it mean for someone to be supreme archangel? Forget that it's also a job title for a minute and just look at the words-- what is someone who is pretty supreme in their archangelness?

Supreme, meaning that which is the most extreme or greatest. Arch, meaning to be above... and, also, to tease in a knowing sort of way.

Supreme Archangel = person with a sense of humor who is just completely totally over the struggle of being an angel.

Gabriel and his arch sense of humor and his being absolutely beyond all of this stuff for literal eons is supreme archangel before you even consider his former job title. Supreme Archangel is really also just a description of his character, as is his other job title of assistant bookseller. Gabriel is still supreme archangel. He's not the only one, though...

Crowley is supreme archangel. Above being an angel because, like Gabriel, he embraces human living when an angel is not supposed to do that. He's supremely beyond all the drama of Heaven and its pious perfection.

Crowley and Gabriel share a very arch sense of humor. Humor is a signature trait of a supreme archangel because it is developed from having greater understanding and wider perspective that can only come from living a bit, which can only come from breaking free of your angelic angst and inner demons enough to allow yourself to grow.

The ability to recognize humor is the ability to recognize the experience of others and it can be intuitive or it can be a learned trait, as Shax is showing us with her quest to understand sarcasm. Everyone has the capability of getting better at it, just as they also have the capability of freeing themselves from being princes of darkness and from the pressures of the perfectionism of being an angel.

Who else is supreme archangel already? Lord Beelzebub is.

In their case, part of their being supreme archangel involved deciding that making a life together with the being who also had that as a literal job title eclipsed Heaven and Hell nonsense.

They know that not everyone else is there yet-- some even want to be what Beez also has been, which is The Grand Duke of Hell... which might be a job title but, as a description, is just the most supremely depressed of the princes of darkness.

Beez might be the only one with the job title so far of Grand Duke of Hell but they aren't the only one who is one.

Crowley is a prince of Hell in every meaning of it already-- in title and in description. I'd call him a grand duke of it, too. Anyone would take one look at Gabriel's depression and say that The Supreme Archangel has long also been a grand duke of Hell, right?

Not to mention that Beez is supreme archangel because they more than meet the other criteria of being very arch in humor.

Shax isn't there yet-- supreme archangel Crowley is still giving her sarcasm lessons-- so she doesn't see the humor in Beez's dry joke that, with them gone, all of this misery could soon be all Shax's because she could "be the next Grand Duke of Hell."

Shax gets excited about the literal job opening and doesn't see that Beez is really saying: all this misery could soon be yours, Shax, best of luck! 😂

Gabriel joining in to be an absolutely marvelous bitch in his expressions... he is, visually, the definition of arch in this scene, with that look that sarcastically says: omg, you hear that, Shax? Grand Duke of Hell! GO GIRL! 😂 These two can be such jerks lol but their humor does come from both of them being supreme archangel and so having an understandable frustration with their lives being impacted by people who are still caught up trying to play the rules of a system that doesn't value anybody.

So, if you're a grand duke of hell... if you're someone who is depressed, someone who is living with a lot of darkness and pain? Then you're also someone who has a soul and a conscience and a certain innate sensitivity that is causing you to feel these things, right? It takes someone who is an angel to bother to do their best to fight their inner demons.

A duke of Hell/prince of darkness is an angel.

And, conversely? If you're an angel who is just massively over all the hell of being an angel... so, if you're a supreme archangel?

By definition, an angel who is done with being an angel is a demon.

And they would be because a demon is also just a person who is passionately invested in or highly skilled in something. By definition, a demon is someone who is doing some living. Someone who is learning how to dance on the head of a pin.

Grand duke of Hell is the most angelic thing there is and supreme archangel is really the most demonic thing a being could ever be. Neither is good or bad; they're just par for the course for most people in different times in life.

Aziraphale doesn't actually need the job of Supreme Archangel and its title to parallel Gabriel's story. They've had the same plot already. They are the two foremost angels who have been supreme archangel all along and helping one another out with it.

They collectively built and secured the embassy bookshop-- Aziraphale designing and building it and Gabriel ensuring its existence and protecting it. They are both against the idea of angelic superiority and support the demons. They both mutinied-- Aziraphale actually did it first when he refused to fight in Armageddon in S1. They both also know what it is to be grand duke of Hell, too, as they both have plenty of inner demons that they are constantly battling.

I think that the point of the story is to make it so that as many of the characters as possible are lower case supreme archangel and none of them are uppercase Supreme Archangel. That position needs to go. The most supreme archangel thing Gabriel has ever done is to quit being The Supreme Archangel. Aziraphale wouldn't have gone anywhere near it if it weren't for his fears about Crowley's safety, which can be resolved in The Finale. There shouldn't be a Supreme Archangel. There should be a bunch of supreme archangels who freely elect willing people to roles like is the case with every other barely functioning but democratic system of government there is. 😂

The point is to break this system that doesn't recognize an individual's right to self-determine and make their own professions about who they are. The Big Bads are screwed, though, because whatever the plot in The Finale? Aziraphale, longtime grand duke of Hell, has really already been supremely archangel for a very, very long time.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Suga and RM's Dynamic Reading

So, decided to go ahead and do this reading to see what the energy is between these two. I can see these two being able to talk about deep topics together and having drinks from to time. They seem like a chill bond and hopefully not a confusing one. I kind of wanted to do a more lowkey bond this week with little drama, so hopefully this lives up to it, but I don't know we'll see.

Overall energy: Okay, looking how I expected with some surprises to me. Now, we have the Sagittarius card, which is about exploration and freedom. They both seems to exude this energy. They both have this energy of wanting to try new things. They may even push one another to do so. There is this carefree energy they seem to have around each other.

Now, we have the 8 of Pentacles, both seem to be very work focused, diligent, persistent in their goals. There is a need to do better. A sense of perfectionism these guys both have to get the job done right. They both seems to relate to this and get along well because of this they understand this type of mindset. I just see them both having similar energies of wanting to achieve a lot of goals and expanding themselves in any way they can. They also seem very philosophical, so they relate on that as well.

Suga's energy: He seems a bit more stable than RM in this dynamic, which kind of surprises me. He seems a lot more extroverted, exciting and fun when he is around Namjoon. It is like he has more energy when he is around him. He seems to be the more optimistic one of the two. The one trying to cheer him up. Suga seems to have more confidence of the possibilities. I feel Namjoon is a little more pessimistic and maybe realistic, while Yoongi looks at the possibilities and enjoys imagining the possibilities.

He seems a little more hopeful and dreamier. It is like whatever he dreams or imagines has a high possibility of coming to fruition. He may even share his hopes and dreams with Namjoon. I just see Yoongi hyping him up and letting him know that anything is possible.

Yoongi is all about forward movement and taking chances. He is bold and courageous and is willing to face a challenge head on. He is all about that fame and money. I am not seeing much about a connection with Namjoon with these cards. This is all about him striving to reach his goals. I say he is friendly with Namjoon, but there isn't a close bond here. Like legit, the only reason he talks to him is because they are in the same group is how I feel in this energy.

I felt he would have more of a connection with him but not seeing it on his end. He seems heavily focused on himself. I can see him being a loyal and dependable person, if need be, but for practical and tangible things. Like if he needs help with money or something work related, he got him, but not so on the emotional side or communicating that much. I don't see him connecting to Namjoon too much, maybe he has his own things to deal with and his own focus.

His guidance is Moth Spirit, which means surrender now. This usually means learning to let go and be vulnerable and this may be the case for him to connect with Namjoon better. I just feel Yoongi is about himself right now and about achieving what he wants to entertain this dynamic, which is understandable, sometimes people need to focus on their needs. This could also mean for him to surrender his need to achieve, so that he could focus his energy more on his relationships with Namjoon. I say if he allows himself to be more vulnerable and get help from his friend. He may feel better and not have to deal with things alone. It seems Namjoon can be a good supportive friend if he lets him.

RM's energy: His energy is a bit more unstable here. I see Namjoon likes to talk. He may discuss things with Yoongi a lot, or just spill a lot of secrets to him, could be about him or others. I just see him in his ear a lot, maybe feeding him information who knows. I feel like when he is in distress he goes to Yoongi and talks about his problems a lot.

He may be a bit dramatic and catastrophizes things a lot. He seems a bit unstable but can also cause some problems. Maybe that is why Yoongi disconnects. It is like he can bring a bit of chaos around him. Namjoon is a carefree person and is always wanting to try new things, but maybe he steps into things he shouldn't.

I feel like sometimes he wants Yoongi to save him or help in times of need, but he doesn't so he ends up distancing himself from him. I think he realizes he has to do things on his own, because he realizes Yoongi isn't going to be there for him when he needs him. Namjoon is a pretty sensitive person and would love for Yoongi to be there for him, possibly on an emotional level, but it seems he can't provide that, so that leaves him disappointed and dejected. I feel he would want more of an emotional connection, but it isn't there.

His guidance is Crow Spirit. This may be telling him to learn to focus on himself and to rely on himself and his guides. He's got to learn not to lean on others to save or help him. All the answers to his problems are around him if he goes within and listen to his intuition and the guidance from his guides or the collective. Yoongi can't save him, only he can save and help himself. I feel this card is urging him to go within and get the answers there. Yoongi has his own issues and can't always tend to his, so he has to work on self-regulating and dealing with his issues without the support of him.

Okay, their energies weren't too confusing, like the other ones before. This wasn't too bad to tap into energetically. Overall, not surprised by what I got. It kind of makes sense. These two do relate, but kind of do their own thing, especially Yoongi, but I feel Namjoon would like more of a bond.

[perlen-gold]

Get to know your Mutuals

Hiiii 💞 since I've found so many new lovely mutuals here I've created a little tag game (which as been around for ages) ^///^

This kinda got out of control... uh-oh.

Indulge me, will you? 🤗

What's the origin of your blog's title? It's a quote by Oscar Wilde :D

Favorite Fandoms: Dragon Age, The Silmarillion/The Lord of the Rings,

OTP(s) + shipname: Fenrisxm!Hawke (fenhawke) Melkor x Mairon (angbang) Thor x Loki (thorki)

Favorite color: Purple, purple and purple!

Favorite game: Dragon Age and Fatal Frame x3

Song stuck in your head: Elrond's council (but it's a musical) XDDD by Elf Tale Films on Youtube 😆

Weirdest habit/trait? Oh gosh, I'm made out of NOTHING but weird traits... but I guess the weirdest is that I must correct every spelling/grammar mistake I hear/read in both English and German? (I happen to write maaany typos on my phone so that's really exhausting!) Or that I explain maths even to the most reluctant and math-hating people without their permission and despite their explicit orders to "stop right now!!!"?! Or that I run in gallopping archs like a (crazy) horse around my apartment when writing? Or.... 😭

Hobbies: Writing, belly dancing and playing the violin. Very inexpertly so.

If you work, what's your profession? I wanted to become a professional torturer but my parents said no, so I chose the next best thing and became a teacher.

If you could have any job you wish what would it be? A teacher. (I'm pathetic.) I'd teach Math, English and German literature. (Which I do.) And physics. (Which I don't.)

So sad. Also, living the dreeeeam!!! 🎸🎸🎸

Something you're good at: Losing at MarioKart, being notoriously unpunctual and math. Also, I can read really fast xP

Something you're bad at: Remembering things... or names... or appointments... or anything. Also, sharing or talking about my writing.

Something you excel at: Creating chaos and overworry about my writing. Or anything else, really. Also, I'm a REALLY fast reader! 😜🤪😝

Something you love: Literature, books, my students, my family, my cat, and books and literature! 📚💗

Something you could talk about for hours without off the cuff: Literature/books, Dragon Age, my students, my original novel (with many pauses inbetween since, like I said, I'm also bad at talking about my own writing)

Something you hate: Arrogancy, bullying and olives. Oh, and strawberries.

Something you collect: Books and blunders.

Something you forget: Everything. Except my own name. At least I hope so.

What's your love language? Terrible, ironic, biting sarcasm. And movie/literature quotes.

Favorite movie/show: Alien by Ridley Scott <3

Favorite food: Pizza, ramen and pasta of all kinds x3

Favorite animal: Horses and leopards, roarrr! 🐎🐆

Are you musical? I do play the violin and sing. Having said that, I should add that I'm not very musical, after all...

What were you like as a child? Both shy and bold AND an insufferable know-it-all! 😏

Favorite subject at school? Maths <3 (you may hate me, now)

Least favorite subject? Geography, religious education and PE

What's your best character trait? Er, I'm a good friend in need (at least I think so XD)

What's your worst character trait? Perfectionism??? Oh wait, I think I can express this in a more refined way, let me try that again...

If you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? If I'd be in charge, you'd be all fucking freezing to death while I frolick happily in the snow and bring another brain concussion upon myself by my clumsy ice-skating skills! Winter would be SO fucking cold and SO magnificent you'd all hate me for it!!! ❄️☃️🥶

If you could travel in time who would you like to meet? Wolfgang Goethe (yes, I omitted the "von", in your face, dude!) and Agatha Christie x3

Recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!):

In Absentia by AwkwardAnnie (Angbang)

Lunch in Thedas by Kaerwrites (Fenhawke)

Kiss Me Hard Before You Go by TheAngryKimchi (Thorki)

Last but not least, show your favorite fanart of your favorite character(s) (please remember to credit/add links!):

(sorry for the flood!)

Mairon by Krabat

Melkor and Mairon by Krabat

Fenris by raviollies

Fenhawke by Marikdraw (original link does no longer exist ;_;)

✨Tagging @saintstars @gracefallingart @gauntletgirlie @melkor-did-nothing-wrong @sauron-kraut @althanair @privatebooth @just-an-elf-with-the-socks @trash-ainu @winds-of-zephyr416 @barbex @aidanthecryptid @teine-mallaichte @pinkfadespirit @spicywarl0ck @jiangwanyeehaw @booksinwinter @midnottart @maironscrotchlessbreeches @melkorwashere @melkors-defense-attorney @trash-ainuand @elronds-library @teine-mallaichte @thorkidorki @theangrykimchi and @glowing-blue-feathermage ✨

... and everyone else, of course, who feels like playing ❣️

As always, NO PRESSURE, just fun, my friends! <3

[itsalliebitheway]

make a move, do your thing

chapter 6: poet

Lena Luthor was objectively good at a lot of things. She’d graduated from high school at 16 and went on to get multiple degrees and even two doctorates. She had been running L-Corp successfully now for almost four years. Even outside of her academic success, she was good at many things. She’d been a chess prodigy and almost good enough at fencing to go to the Olympics. As a child, she learned how to play the piano to entertain her parents’ guests, and she learned to ride horses good enough to compete at charity polo games to represent their family.

Lena Luthor was good at many things.

But one thing that nobody knew about Lena was that she enjoyed writing poetry. And sure, she was no Goethe or Emily Dickinson, but she enjoyed playing with words. She’d discovered her love for writing poetry in middle school. Her teacher even encouraged her to keep writing, even recommending a special tutor since Lena showed talent. But of course, the Luthor’s vetoed it, since it was a worthless skill that brought no value to the family empire.

Recently, things had calmed down. L-Corp ran smoothly next to Lena’s occasional DEO duties. CatCo was safe and sound in Andrea’s hands and the friendship between them might not be back in full bloom but it was at least rekindled. The only thing that wasn’t going Lena’s way was her love life, and more specifically, her painfully unrequited crush on her best friend.

Kara was oblivious to all of Lena’s advances, had been from day one. She’d thought the office full of flowers was a thank you between friends and the personal gala invite just because Lena wanted some friendly company. Even when Lena bought CatCo for her, Kara saw it as a strategic step against Morgan Edge rather than Lena professing her undying love for her.

So, Lena turned back to one of her old outlets: poetry.

 She’d been rusty and it had been painful, trying to fight the urge for perfectionism. Where Lena had written sonnets in her middle school years, she now tended to write in free form, letting her thoughts wander where they wanted and writing them down in a pleasing way. She even added a backdrop to all of them and edited them as pictures into a secret folder in her phone.

Still, it didn’t quite feel like getting her emotions out while these photos were hiding in her gallery. So, she did something she was almost sure she’d regret later – she asked Nia for help. The younger reporter had intermittently showed her some posts on Instagram, whenever they got together, and some of the inspirational quotes reminded Lena of the format she herself had been creating. Nia was thrilled to help her set up a profile under the penname @dreams_in_poetry where Lena slowly but surely shared her new poems with the world, or her current 33 followers.

She didn’t mind that not a lot of people were seeing them, she just wanted to write up her feelings and get them out into the world before she’d blurt them out in front of Kara.

Most times, Lena was also very good at keeping her emotions in check. She rarely cried and angry outbursts only happened in the privacy of her home or office where nobody could call her emotional. But there were times when her feelings for Kara were so overwhelming that Lena just needed to get them out to get on with her day.

So, on a Tuesday morning right after hiring a new scientist for her new ocean clean-up project, Lena closed all work documents in favor of opening a blank word document. The words flowed out of her easily, dripping like molasses from her fingers.

She went to her secret Pinterest account in her browser half an hour later and downloaded a picture of shattered glass, editing it under the text. She posted the picture with the caption “breaking the illusion” and was just about to close the window when she heard a slight tapping at the balcony window.

Kara, clad in her supersuit, waited outside with two coffee cups until Lena opened the door.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Lena asked when she’d closed the door behind Kara again.

“Well, I brough you a coffee, but full disclosure, I saw your screen and I thought you didn’t have Instagram?! Why aren’t you following me, and how come I didn’t know you had an account?”

“I don’t really have an Instagram, it’s just something silly I do,” Lena deflected and tried to push herself between Kara and her desk, but Supergirl had already put the cup down and sat down in Lena’s chair. At the same time, a ding sounded in her office and Kara pulled her phone from her boot.

“Oh look, my favorite Instagram poet just posted something new, now that you have it too I can finally show you this page, it’s truly amazing.”

Kara turned to her computer, apparently determined to put the poet’s name into the search bar, when she stopped short.

“Wait why is your profile pic the same one as…” she trailed off. She clicked on the little profile picture icon and was led to Lena’s posts, the new one on the top left.

“Kara I can explain,” Lena tried but Kara interrupted her.

“You’re dreams_in_poetry? Lena oh my god that is amazing and everything makes so much sense now!”

“It does?” Lena asked but Kara couldn’t be stopped.

“I’m not even mad anymore that you didn’t tell me, I’m just amazed honestly, and also a little bit sorry. You’ve been going through this alone the entire time, even though I could’ve been here for you.”

“What exactly am I going through?”

"...I can understand why you didn't tell me, I'm the press, but Lena I would never tell on you. You guys make such a powerful couple, imagine the charity galas you guys can throw, I bet you can collect a Guinness world record donation, I mean, golly. She's very beautiful, you as well, a magnificent couple, the prettiest."

"Kara... What the hell are you talking about?" Lena finally interjected loud enough to make Kara stop and breathe.

"You and Andrea? The poems? You obviously have feelings for her again and this is how you expressed yourself."

Lena almost laughed she was so confused. “Where on earth do you get this from, Kara?

“Just look at this one. Titled Past Love.”

“longing stares and almost kisses only moments apart ruining a friendship feels inevitable the drinks taste tart

have we ever been closer when we should be apart fleeting touches linger too long flirting morphs into art

familiar hugs without letting go rest your head on me we dance around each other I’ll never be free

of you”

“That just screams and Andrea. You’ll never be free of her. Your past love that can happen again.”

“Kara, I wrote that about Sam and Alex when they were dancing in the club while Sam was already dating Andrea. The two of them who are still together, by the way, so there is not a chance I want Andrea. None.”

Kara scrunched up her brow in confusion, looking at the words, and most prominently, Lena’s most recent post, open on her page.

Lena sighed and clenched her jaw, unwilling to crack now that Kara was so adamant about there being nobody else for Lena than her ex.

“Then who are all these about? Do you not want to tell me, Lena? I’m your best friend.”

Lena groaned loudly and buried her fingers in her own hair, ruining her pristine updue. This line had broken her heart far too many times.

“Why don’t I read the new one to you, and maybe you can figure it out, Kara.”

“will you let me kiss you once so that I know for sure I’ve dreamed too big

will you let me hold you close to let me convince myself I’ve been foolish to hope

will you let me take you home to show me I’ve been wrong to think there was a chance

of ever having you”

It was almost too painful to get through the whole thing, but thanks to her photographic memory, Lena didn’t need to read the lines. She stared into Kara’s eyes, reciting each word, and just hoped that it would finally click.

When she was done, she closed her eyes, too afraid too see how Kara would react. When she heard nothing, she slowly opened them again, watching Kara stare at her, her mouth agape, her eyes wide.

“Do you… can you, I mean. You can’t mean me, right?” she stuttered and swallowed hard enough for Lena to see it.

“Of course I mean you, you beautiful idiot,” Lena whispered, fighting the urge to just run all the way home to her apartment.

Then Kara reached for her, standing up from the desk chair, she towered over Lena again. Before Lena could think, Kara’s lips were on hers, chasing her when she broke away for air, not letting her get farther away than a hair’s breadth.

“I don’t think your illusion needs shattering after all. You can have me for as long as you want,” Kara whispered and pulled her in again.

[horaitos]

Can you talk more about OCD Light Yagami? Not my headcanon,but the idea is intriguing and cool.

I would absolutely love to share the brainworms, actually. (Disclaimer I am not a psychologist etc, this is mostly based on my own experiences.)

The most painfully relatable part of Light in this regard, imo, is how absolutely desperate he is. There’s a need to be good that’s under all of his motivation, and we see through the story how he rationalizes that needing to be good and needing to be right under all of that talk of justice and helping the people. (I could probably make a whole other argument here about Light having high masking autism and the black and white thinking that comes with that feeding into his ocd, but that’s for another post.)

That need to be right, that need for balance, is something that has always been a key part of my experience. With that comes the compulsions - and Light’s seem to pretty clearly be rumination. Yeah, we make fun of his dramatic speeches about making a better world, but they also can slot neatly into the winding rationalizations that I myself have made to keep that sense of balance in myself. I’d compare moral ocd to standing on a sheet of thin ice with cold, plunging water right below you feet. You make your ruminations, your compulsions, to scrabble against the ice and keep yourself on your own two feet without cracking the ice and falling into the current below.

Another one of my compulsions back when i was really struggling was confessions, and while you could argue he steers away from that because it would be acknowledging how what he did was awful, he does fall into that at times. His speech to Matsuda about Kira. He’s acknowledging how what Kira does is evil, and at the same time he’s somewhat searching for absolving. Obviously, this is hindered by the fact that he’s hiding the fact that he actually is Kira, but the pattern is the same. He’s voicing his fears and his rationalizations - because in his mind, his ruminations, they just swirl and swirl without any sort of balance. I’m wondering if Ryuk was a sort of lifeline in that way, though obviously he wouldn’t absolve Light of his guilt in any way. Similarly, I wonder if Light ever gave his confessions and fears to L during the Yotsuba arc - if L somehow became the subject of his absolution. In my experience, they’re generally given to people you trust, but Light didn’t really have anyone he trusted during the Yorsuba arc. L was, unfortunately, the closest thing he had to a lifeline. Much to think about.

Anyway, most of this usually stems from high expectations of oneself and perfectionism combined with a colossal amount of insecurity (the water beneath the ice) (as well as a big imagination - to fit all of those ruminations in!). Sure, Light isn’t really shown to have insecurities at the beginning, but people raised to be perfect generally do - especially considering the fact that Light was hiding so much of himself. Who did he have to talk to? To go through his fears with in a healthy matter? They just sat, and sat, and swirled around like muck.

Sure, most ocd spirals don’t come from murdering two people. But that sure as hell could trigger it.

[grison-in-space]

Hi! Just wanted to say, re:veganism discourse: Excellent Opinions, Great Delivery, Immaculate Vibes 👍 have a great day :)

cheers, ty! it is honestly sort of surprising to me that folks are reading along--as I said to someone else in DMs, I kind of figured that response was mostly something I was putting together in my own head, so I'm pleasantly surprised it's resonating with other people.

I am also just. :| not thrilled to have to be typing up all these "and here's how caring about animal welfare can radicalize you down all these shitty pathways if you add X and Y and Z" because at the end of the day I do think all species are worthy of basic respect; at the end of the day I do think there's nothing fundamentally better about me as a human than any other species. At the end of the day it actually matters a lot to me that my research mice are kept with as much enrichment as I can give them and that their lives and bodies and effort are honored and used wisely. It matters to me that the dogs I teach and the people I teach to train their dogs are learning with minimum stress and maximal confidence. These are all really important planks of my personal code of ethics!

It sucks to feel like I need to sit down and enumerate all the reasons that I think this other perspective of people who start in the same place I do--animals are neat individuals who encompass both the alien and the familiar, which share our lives in a multitude of ways--has developed in such a way that I think it encourages a really toxic way of relating both to animals and ourselves. In general I prefer to focus on places where I can agree with other folks, even if their opinions are different from mine. Someone in the notes brought up "struggle sessions," which are kind of the epitome of toxicity within the left: good values and a desire to help one another get so channeled through perfectionism and backbiting that you wind up with people gathering to literally torture and destroy each other. (Not just in China, either; it keeps happening, cf. Synanon in the US and the dissolution of the Japanese United Red Army.) That's not the kind of way I want to interact with people I'm supposed to be working together with.

So I try not to do that shit too much. I think about the places where people who have values just like mine go down rabbit holes and wind up in bad places, and I try and build barriers so I don't get burned out and angry and dissolve in a puff of flame. (I'm not directly engaging further with this anon for that reason, actually.) But just--aaaaaaaaauuuughhh, ARAs really irritate me because I can see where the roots are, and yet the entire ideology means that there essentially can't be listening. You can see that in the way I'm sitting here going "No, I know what your ideas are, here's why I have rejected them," and still I am getting exhortations to just listen and understand about ARA ideology. No. I did that, the last time there were protests about it in my workplace I went ahead and read the actual detailed IACUC reports released by FOIA that the protestors were shouting about, and bluntly it was a) not convincing and b) exactly the same appeals to emotional knee-jerk reactions and emotional flooding that I decried yesterday. Twenty years I have been checking my responses to these people, and it's never anything different.

I don't think that removing emotion totally from ethics and morals is wise or even possible--we use emotion for decisionmaking and encoding our values, after all, a person without emotion literally cannot decide things--but I do not like or tolerate subcultures that won't leave space to sit, think, and let the first knee-jerk rush of gut response die down. Sometimes, often, I do decide that my gut reaction is right! But I need the space to sit the fuck down and think about it, and if you take that to an ARA space you will mostly get flooded with more emotionally reactive imagery until you agree or leave. And that is coercive.

[faramirsonofgondor]

Reasons why I think Buck might have OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder) as someone with OCPD and ADHD

He seems very preoccupied with his work, lists, systems, and order. Especially when he’s in “clipboard Buck” mode

OCPD usually starts in your teens to early 20s, and can be caused by trauma and feeling like you need to be “perfect”

Perfectionism and extreme focus on working (the way he was incredibly determined to get back to work during the Lawsuit Era)

Inability to let things go even when they lose their worth

Inability to share or delegate work to others for fear it won’t be done right (while Buck very often chooses to be the one to take risks on the job because he doesn’t want others to get hurt, this could be a part of a moral/methodical obsession. To him, Buck wouldn’t be doing his job correctly if he let one of his coworkers get injured when he could be the one injured instead)

Being obsessive, judgemental, and inflexible in matters of morals and judgement (this literally reminds me of S1 ep1 when Buck didn’t want that teen mom to ride in the ambulance)

Difficulty forming and maintaining close relationships with others (again S1 Buck and lawsuit era)

Excessive doubt and conscientiousness

Rigidity and stubbornness

Compelled to do things a certain way

Low threshold for humiliation, criticism, and emotional hurt

Bye why did I find a med journal that says “loved ones on the receiving end of the relationship will experience exhaustion, unhappiness, and frustration” like Lawsuit era who???? (ok but this journal is lowkey so critical of people with OCPD wtf 😭)

Obviously not all of these things are stuff that Buck does throughout the entire show but I think S1 and a bit of early S2 era Buck was more obsessed and preoccupied with his own morals and as he matured he bent his behavior more towards following the rules at the 118 and he became obsessed with his work and doing his job as best as he can. I think part of this duality stems from the fact that in his teens he would’ve felt pressured to adhere to the standards his parents set, with the only times he really went against them being when he would injure himself for their attention because in his mind the right method to get someone’s attention is through injury (which we see come up multiple times throughout the show). However, as he entered his early 20s he got stuck into a routine of traveling from place to place and learning new skills, which probably would’ve impacted his ability to be preoccupied over his works rules/systems and would’ve probably caused him to obsess more over morals, as we see when he quits the marines because they don’t align with his approach to morals and emotion.

**Also I know some people might be confused when I say early S1 Buck had an obsession with morals considering he slept around, stole the fire truck, etc. but I want to point out that with OCPD your own rules surrounding morals and judgment might not be completely logical, and more “Black and white” so Buck might not have seen casual sex as morally wrong (which it’s not, but I digress) and he probably didn’t see an issue with stealing the fire truck at the moment. People with OCPD can still mature and have changing moral values over time and that’s part of Buck’s development. He probably took Bobby firing him as a very harsh judgment on his own behavior and we see that even in S2 he was obsessing over that when Eddie was hired.

Sorry this is kind of a messy post where I just word vomited all over the place I hope this makes sense even though I probably ended up contradicting myself at some point.