#sharing the way THEY do things. no perfectionism or “one right way.”

[knifeforkspooncup]

My dream is literally just to have enough time and energy to share my skills with other people.

I long to invite someone over and show them how to bake my favourite cake recipe. How great would it be to show someone how to tie a bowline knot in a way they'll remember? Yes, I would actuallt love for you to come over to my house and learn stained glass with all my supplies, it would make my year. Oh your parents never taught you how to use an electric drill or how to change the oil filter on your car? Don't work luv I'll walk you through it. Here don't forget your eye protection.

[burntoutdaydreamer]

Weird Brain Hacks That Help Me Write

I'm a consistently inconsistent writer/aspiring novelist, member of the burnt-out-gifted-kid-to-adult-ADHD-diagnosis-pipeline, recently unemployed overachiever, and person who's sick of hearing the conventional neurotypical advice to dealing with writer's block (i.e. "write every single day," or "there's no such thing as writer's block- if you're struggling to write, just write" Like F*CK THAT. Thank you, Brenda, why don't you go and tell someone with diabetes to just start producing more insulin?)

I've yet to get to a point in my life where I'm able to consistently write at the pace I want to, but I've come a long way from where I was a few years ago. In the past five years I've written two drafts of a 130,000 word fantasy novel (currently working on the third) and I'm about 50,000 words in on the sequel. I've hit a bit of a snag recently, but now that I've suddenly got a lot of time on my hands, I'm hoping to revamp things and return to the basics that have gotten me to this point and I thought I might share.

1) My first draft stays between me and God

I find that I and a lot of other writers unfortunately have gotten it into our heads that first drafts are supposed to resemble the finished product and that revisions are only for fixing minor mistakes. Therefore, if our first draft sucks that must mean we suck as writers and having to rewrite things from scratch means that means our first draft is a failure.

I'm here to say that is one of the most detrimental mentalities you can have as a writer.

Ever try drawing a circle? You know how when you try to free-hand draw a perfect circle in one go, it never turns out right? Whereas if you scribble, say, ten circles on top of one another really quickly and then erase the messy lines until it looks like you drew a circle with a singular line, it ends up looking pretty decent?

Yeah. That's what the drafting process is.

Your first draft is supposed to suck. I don't care who you are, but you're never going to write a perfect first draft, especially if you're inexperienced. The purpose of the first draft is to lay down a semi-workable foundation. A really loose, messy sketch if you will. Get it all down on paper, even if it turns out to be the most cliche, cringe-inducing writing you've ever done. You can work out those kinks in the later drafts. The hardest part of the first draft is the most crucial part: getting started. Don't stress yourself out and make it even harder than it already is.

If that means making a promise to yourself that no one other than you will ever read your first draft unless it's over your cold, dead body, so be it.

2) Tell perfectionism to screw off by writing with a pen

I used to exclusively write with pencil until I realized I was spending more time erasing instead of writing.

Writing with a pen keeps me from editing while I right. Like, sometimes I'll have to cross something out or make notes in the margins, but unlike erasing and rewriting, this leaves the page looking like a disaster zone and that's a good thing.

If my writing looks like a complete mess on paper, that helps me move past the perfectionist paralysis and just focus on getting words down on the page. Somehow seeing a page full of chicken scratch makes me less worried about making my writing all perfect and pretty- and that helps me get on with my main goal of fleshing out ideas and getting words on a page.

3) It's okay to leave things blank when you can't think of the right word

My writing, especially my first draft, is often filled with ___ and .... and (insert name here) and red text that reads like stage directions because I can't think of what is supposed to go there or the correct way to write it.

I found it helps to treat my writing like I do multiple choice tests. Can't think of the right answer? Just skip it. Circle it, come back to it later, but don't let one tricky question stall you to the point where you run out of brain power or run out of time to answer the other questions.

If I'm on a role, I'm not gonna waste it by trying to remember that exact word that I need or figure out the right transition into the next scene or paragraph. I'm just going to leave it blank, mark to myself that I'll need to fix the problem later, and move on.

Trust me. This helps me sooooo much with staying on a roll.

4) Write Out of Order

This may not be for everyone, but it works wonders for me.

Sure, the story your writing may need to progress chronologically, but does that mean you need to write it chronologically? No. It just needs to be written.

I generally don't do this as much for editing, but for writing, so long as you're making progress, it doesn't matter if it's in the right order. Can't think of how to structure Chapter 2, but you have a pretty good idea of how your story's going to end? Write the ending then. You'll have to go back and write Chapter 2 eventually, but if you're feeling more motivated to write a completely different part of the book, who's to say you can't do that?

When I'm working on a project, I start off with a single document that I title "Scrap for (Project Title)" and then just write whatever comes to mind, in whatever order. Once I've gotten enough to work with, then I start outlining my plot and predicting how many chapters I'm going to need. Then, I create separate google docs for each individual chapter and work on them in whatever order I feel like, often leaving several partially complete as I jump from one to the other. Then, as each one gets finished, I copy and paste the chapter into the full manuscript document. This means that the official "draft" could have Chapters 1 and 9, but completely be missing Chapters 2-8, and that's fine. It's not like anyone will ever know once I finish it.

Sorry for the absurdly long post. Hopes this helps someone. Maybe I'll share more tricks in the future.

[glowettee]

⋆˚࿔glowettee hotline 6: finding peace after studying.ᐟ

hey lovelies! 🤍i'm finally back with glowettee hotline

abbey sent in the sweetest question to the glowettee hotline about something i think so many of us struggle with. that persistent anxiety that whispers "you could do more" even after you've literally been studying for hours and hours? yeah, i know that voice all too well.

i was literally up until 3am last night reorganizing my color-coded study guides even though i'd already finished them, so trust me when i say i understand that perfectionist energy. there's something about academics that brings out that need for control in all of us, right?

first, i want you to know that what you're experiencing is actually super common among high-achievers. that anxiety isn't a sign that you're doing something wrong - it's actually your brain being a little too good at wanting to succeed. your brain has basically created this false equation that anxiety = productivity, when actually they're totally different things.

when i was in my worst perfectionist spiral last semester (we don't talk about the great midterm meltdown of 2024), my academic counselor shared something that literally changed everything for me. she called it "productive completion" versus "perfectionist completion" and the difference is everything.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ why your brain keeps doing this ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

your brain has been rewarded for being anxious in the past. every time you've pushed yourself to do "just one more thing" because of anxiety, your brain logged that as a win. it doesn't realize how exhausted and burnt out you're becoming.

also? uncertainty is literally uncomfortable for our brains on a neurological level. your organized nature (which is actually a superpower when balanced!) means your brain craves that feeling of "doneness" - but perfectionism keeps moving the goalpost so you never actually reach it.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ practical things that actually help ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

create a "done list" instead of just a to-do list. physically write down everything you've accomplished in a study session. when anxiety says "you've done nothing," you have literal evidence to the contrary.

implement a physical "closing ritual" to signal to your brain that work time is over. i close my laptop, put my books in my bag, and light this little vanilla candle that's only for post-study relaxation. your brain needs these concrete transitions.

use time-based boundaries rather than task-based ones. "i will study for 2 focused hours" is better than "i will study until i feel done" because perfectionism ensures you'll never feel done.

try the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique when anxiety spirals hit. name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. it literally interrupts the anxiety pathway in your brain.

create a "worry hour" where you give yourself permission to stress about academics - but only during that designated time. when anxious thoughts come outside that hour, tell them "not now, i'll think about you at 4pm."

practice self-compassion statements that feel authentic to you. mine is "being imperfect doesn't mean i'm ineffective." find yours and repeat it when that voice starts up.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the deeper work ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

here's the thing about perfectionism that took me forever to understand - it's often a protection mechanism. somewhere along the way, you learned that being perfect kept you safe from criticism or failure or whatever scary thing your brain is trying to avoid.

the real question to gently ask yourself is: what would happen if you did "just enough" instead of everything possible? what are you afraid would occur? usually when we dig into this, we find some core beliefs that need updating.

for me, i realized i had this weird belief that if i wasn't constantly anxious about academics, it meant i didn't care enough. which is obviously not true! you can care deeply about your studies while still having boundaries and rest.

abbey, i want you to know that your worth isn't measured by how exhausted you are at the end of a study session. your organized nature is a gift - but it should serve you, not control you.

sending you the warmest thoughts and a reminder that you're doing so much better than you think you are. your anxiety is lying to you about how much is "enough."

xoxo, mindy 🤍

leave a message after the tone…

submit your questions here!!

[glitchedoutpxie]

Reasons you should read my fic #3 ✨

My psychoanalysis of the Bayverse turtles: cognitive archetypes.

Splinter: my kids are completely fine!

... The kids in question:

Raphael:

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Why it fits?

Signs: intense fear of abandonment, explosive emotional outbursts, black-and-white thinking (“you’re with me or against me”), self-destructive tendencies (in my fic, he throws himself into gang fights as an outlet), difficulty regulating anger, fluctuating self-image (doesn't think he's worthy of fighting next to his brothers)

Raph’s entire persona is fueled by emotional volatility. He lashes out to push others away before they can leave him. His aggression masks a deep fear of not being wanted or respected (as per his confession in the first movie when the tower was falling).

He’s either the family’s shield (blocking Shredder from stabbing Leo in the first movie, pushing Donnie out of the tank canon's way in the second...) or its scapegoat (trying to walk away from them); there’s no in-between in his mind. His solo mission to the police station in Out of the Shadows reads like a BPD spiral: impulsive, reckless, desperate to reclaim autonomy. Similarly, in my fic, he goes solo vigilante and instigates fights in gang territories, right after Master Splinter confiscates his sai.

Leonardo:

Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) and Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD)

Why it fits?

C-PTSD:

Signs: hypervigilance (always watching and planning), guilt or shame if he fails to “keep the family together”, stoicism as a coping mechanism, difficulty relaxing or trusting others to take the lead

Leo often acts like the “parentified child.” He may not lash out like Raph, but he internalizes responsibility, tends to isolate under stress, and operates on rigid moral frameworks.

His perfectionism could be a trauma response: “If I do everything right, nothing bad will happen.”

OCPD:

Signs: fixation on rules or discipline, “my way or the highway” mentality (in my fic he immediately alienates Rosie when she questions his methods), reluctance to delegate, struggles to forgive or forget mistakes (especially his own)

OCPD is about control, order, and perfectionism. BUT!! It’s personality-level and not about intrusive thoughts like OCD. Leo wants things done right. He’s rigid about rules, resistant to change, and can become angry or distant when others “mess up.”

Michelangelo:

Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD)

Why it fits?

Signs: high energy, difficulty focusing, emotional sensitivity, hyperfixations (pop culture, pizza, music), impulsivity, trouble with structure, 0 speech filter

Mikey is exuberant and fun-loving, but he often struggles with timing and appropriateness. Not because he doesn’t care, but because he gets overwhelmed by stimulus.

He fidgets, blurts things out, and often gets underestimated because his hyperactivity masks his emotional intelligence. He picks up on others’ moods fast, even if he can’t articulate his own (in my fic, this makes him the mediator between Rosie and his brothers). His “class clown” role often hides deeper insecurities, like fear of not being taken seriously.

Donatello:

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) + possibility of Autism Spectrum Disorder (Level 3?)

Why it fits?

OCD:

Signs: obsessive need for precision, thrives on logic and structured tasks, backpack full of categorized ready-use tools (classic sign of compulsive preparation),

Donnie’s OCD shows in the need to get everything exactly right. He overanalyzes, double-checks, and is constantly monitoring his brothers' vitals, most likely because his brain keeps looping worst-case scenarios: “If I don’t fix/predict this, everything will break.”

Donnie is constantly tweaking gear, even mid missions. He has his own lab space (not shared) that he trusts no one else to handle. It’s less about order for its own sake, and more about staving off imagined disaster.

Autism:

Signs: hyperfixation on tech and science, bluntness in speech, possible sensory sensitivities (headgear and headphones), routines and logic as safety nets

Donnie thrives on systems. He prefers predictable interactions, and his passion for machines isn’t just interest, it’s regulation: he goes straight into solution-mode under emotional stress. Technology makes sense; people don’t.

HOWEVER!! while he does show social awkwardness and intensity, it is not to a level that impairs his daily relationships + his intelligence is fluid as opposed to the more rigid thinking of those on the spectrum. He prefers machines to people, but still gets people. He teases Mikey, understands Raph's aggression, and even mirrors Leo's leadership cues. His focus on data could have resembled autism more if it was shown to impair his social communication, but it rarely does.

“Masks Off” Bonus!!

Rosalind Sacks

model: @ninakrasnolutskaya on Instagram

C-PTSD and Persistent Depressive Disorder (Dysthymia)

Why it fits?

C-PTSD

Signs:

- Hypervigilance: noticed footsteps behind her before confirming them

- Emotional numbing: doesn’t trust her own emotions or perceptions, disassociation under threat (saw Leo's reflection in the window and her first instinct was to dismiss herself as hallucinating)

- Fear of abandonment: Her memory flashes (her dad handing her tape vs. his casket) show unresolved grief and internalized loss.

- Internalized shame/guilt from her father's legacy

- Freeze + fawn responses: when meeting the turtles, when the ceiling collapsed...

Rosalind doesn’t ask for help. She hides, she runs, she minimizes herself. That’s trauma conditioning. Even her social interactions (like giving her place in line to the father with the toddler) scream suppressed empathy and practiced invisibility. She doesn't want to "burden" others.

Depressive Disorder (Dysthymia)

Signs: hopeless worldview (she’s surprised when things go right); lack of self-worth, emotional flatness (even during the subway chase, she’s shown as emotionally muted, no screaming, no asking for help), she's functional (working, grocery shopping...) but not living.

Rosie’s carrying shame and responsibility. She doesn’t fully allow herself to feel joy or safety because it feels temporary or stolen. That’s not just trauma, that’s the slow grind of long-term depression.

You can see this analysis in practice throughout my fic here on wattpad and here on ao3 (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

[hawthornclangen]

Moon 0 Allegiances!

Morningstar, the son of Glintmark, has been the leader of HawthornClan for only a few moons. He has taken to the position like fish to water, though, and with his mother as his right-paw cat, he feels comfortable in his new role.

Glintmark never had any aspirations for leadership herself, but she could not deny her son's wish when he asked her to become his deputy. Some in the clan raise their brows at the choice, especially since the late leader Weepingstar was her own sister.

Supporting them is the clan's only current healer, Nightfeather. Though.... He spends more time gallivanting at the edges of their territory - and outside of them, when the fancy strikes - than actually healing. Still, he loves his clan more than anything, and will do his job when it is really needed.

Froststream is the elder brother of Cloudwish, and the two are incredibly close. While Froststream is cool and closed off most of the time, he does open up around his sister. The two are the only survivors of their family after war with WolfClan took their parents and the Woods claimed their littermates, and thus, they are extremely protective of one another.

Cloudwish can seem distant like her brother, as she tends to live with her head in the clouds. She dreams of a kinder world, one where they wouldn't have to fight for every breath and every paw's-length of territory. She loves her brother and looks up to him greatly, even dreaming of one day ruling HawthornClan at his side.

Gorseflame is... a lonely cat. She is incredibly smart and great at telling stories when she doesn't let her overthinking get in the way. She craves the company of others but doesn't quite know how to let other cats get close to her; she fears losing them the same way she has so many of her loved ones.

Hickorypaw is considered by many in the clan to have a bright future ahead of him, despite his insecurities. He is very hard on himself to the point of perfectionism - a trait which is not aided by the fact that he is mentored by Morningstar himself. Hickorypaw feels enormous pressure to become a warrior worthy of having received such an honor.

Plumpaw, on the other hand, is relaxed almost to the point of laziness. She has grown cold despite her young age mostly thanks to the numerous losses the clan has suffered as of late. What is the point in even trying, she wonders, if the beasts will steal the lives of even their most talented warriors anyway?

Dawnkit and Morelkit are not related by blood, but many in the clan treat them like siblings anyway. The two fight and bicker all the time, yet when night comes, they always curl up next to each other on their shared nest in the nursery. Older cats have noticed that both kits seem capable of seeing things most cats can't - a fact which worries them greatly.

---

aaaaand there we go! I've played about a year ahead with these guys, so that's what I mostly based their larger personalities on. can't wait to show you guys all that these dumb battle cats get up to!

[urautismdiagnosis-wistie]

Peso

Edit: THIS DESIGN IS OLD AND I JIST WANNA SHARE THAT I THINK I DRAW HIM BETTER NOW 🗣 enjoy the post tho lol

Peso my lil Habibi <3 <3 <3

hes just a top tier character

my Hispanic coded son, mylil guy who's learning how to believe in himself

i just I lovepeso guys he's so pure and supportive and caring and lighthearted and silly and he's really doing his best??

he could probably cure my mentally illness with a bandage I'm sure

imgonna be so real I think he has game tho, like I'm 300% he could pull any maiden

he can become friends with like any sea creature too probably

hes my hero and my son and I think he low-key judges everyone internally

cuz like idk if y'all have met people who refuse to swear out loud verbally and hate confrontation, but the internal dialogue omg

i just know one of these days if he gets pushed too far hes gonna threaten someone with his slappity flippers

like y'all know the look birds do where they just sideye you??

that glance???

i think he does that whenever people do things that are stupid

like he loves them all dearly but shellington why would you touch The THing That Will Hurt you, no shellington you cant eat that for science-

Also I think he and dashi would listen to music together i think they might spend evenings relaxing together. I mean their rooms are right next to eachother so like I'm sure they've had some lovely little evening conversations and stuff 🥰 i can just imagine dashi tryna teach peso yoga and like 😩🙏his penguin body wasn't built for it but he still slays

Hes like the little sibling but in the actually I am the most mature way???

I think its cuz he looks up to alot of the other members (altho he's definitely gotten alot more confident as the show has progressed) but he also like..

He gives me the vibes of the oldest sibling of not just the siblings but of all the cousins??? This might just be me projecting but like why did u even become a medic for such a wide range of medical creatures and sign up to join the newly formed highly experimental water nasa???

I think he probably had alot of high expectations on himself because everyone just always believed he could do anything. And that sounds super supportive in theory but when ur like tryna be the oldest and first one to support ur family and everyone is always looking at u because like.. most other people in ur family are younger or ehatever.. that pressure and extra attention can cause alot of perfectionism and high self standards

That mixed with being The Caretaker in your family especially as a child is a pretty good recipe for getting anxious about any big goal in your life and how others perceive you. I think he tried to like humble himself by saying oh no I'm not really capable of all those amazing things so pls don't have those huge expectations hahaha but then it just turned into not believing in himself as much???

Also we slay genuinely caring and kind people having alot of pent up frustration they never show because they love everyone too much. It still hurts inside tho.

Anyways uhhhhhhhhhhh this totally ain't me projectin or anythin.

also hes like a mixed kid, but he's mostly gentoo penguin id say based on my own design

speaking of penguins I think that their homes would be actually made of stone lol. Their homes would have like different smaller homes for privacy around like communal areas.. they still gotta deal with predstors like albatross or ehstever tho. But their albatross for example might work in groups or even be larger.

Friendly reminder my lore for the octonauts is a bit different than the Canon. Sure People People being like hunted is wayyyy less common than irl but They're basically still playing their evolutionary roles kinda like how we see with sea otters in the show.

I'm gonna make the post for their social norms and etc on this within the next few days actually lol but back to peso

Do u guys ever think peso wouldve jumpscared the crew by being like "oh no the shelf is too tall!" And then busting out the "hey did you know that penguin legs are just folded and much horrifically longer than ud think they are?" On them 😩🙏

"Wh- why would ye show me this??"

" because no one will ever believe you"

Hes very sweet but I think he deserves to be a little bit of a sneaky sht

If uve made it this far thanks for reading the brainrot I hope it was comprehensible pls lmk ur headcanons about him cuz I need more ngl

[m1ssunderstanding]

i feel like john gravitates to people who are gentle, tender, and feminine-leaning but in a way where they willing to stand up for themselves and quickly shut down john’s bullshit. and i feel like paul likes people who don’t hold him to a high standard, gently push him out of his comfort zone, and who are trustworthy enough for paul to not be so damn controlling with. paul needs someone who will take the lead but in a way that is fully accommodating to paul’s own desires, making paul *seem* easygoing despite that fact that he is really the one in control…

I guess it depends, with John, on your definition of "gentle, tender". Because I don't think Paul or Yoko fit that description at all. Not to say that I think either of them was cruel toward John but they're far from the coddling type. John comes crying to Paul, Paul's going to be like "did you know you're actually fine? You have such a great life. Come on let's get to work." John comes crying to Yoko, Yoko's going to be like "I don't know what to do with you when you're like this. Go talk to the tarot reader or something." May and Cynthia seemed (and maybe Stu) to be the definition of gentle and tender. So maybe we're at a half and half accuracy there.

Then we get to femininity. ((((I'm far from the right person to be discussing this. I'm from a podunk town where me not wearing makeup, wearing pants to church, pursuing a career, and expecting my husband to take on an equal share of child rearing and housework make me stick out like a sore thumb. But then again that is like how many places were in the sixties so idk maybe I am the right person.)))) Cynthia and May obviously conformed perfectly to their assigned genders. I do think Stu performed a little more feminine with his open emotions and pursuit of the more delicate arts. But idk if that counts for anything really especially where John was into all that too so maybe Stu wouldn't be "feminine-leaning" in comparison. Paul is, emotionally, more traditionally masculine than John is. He was, however, very willing to take on female assigned roles such as doing housework and publicly appearing to take a back seat in leadership with John. So maybe that's what you mean by feminine-leaning? Yoko is like the least feminine-leaning person and John said multiple times he was attracted to her because of her masculine qualities. So imo John was "attracted to the binary" as Paul put it in his lyrics book.

As far as "willing to stand up for themselves and quickly shut down john’s bullshit" it's a little complicated too because while I definitely think Paul and Yoko did that, I think the case is much more difficult to make for May or Cynthia or Stu. So I don't know, maybe you're right. Maybe that is exactly what John was looking for, but he was never able to find it in one person. Like if Paul or Yoko could've been gentler and more tender, or if May, Stu, and Cynthia would've had stronger backbones.

With Paul, I think you've got the first part right and that's part of why it didn't work out with Jane or Heather. John and Linda and Nancy are all very laid back people who help Paul balance the perfectionism he enforces on himself.

The comfort zone thing is tricky too because there was nothing gentle about John's pushing Paul to defy his father, take LSD, or whatever exactly he was pushing for that broke up the band. And Linda I think WAS Paul's comfort zone during their entire marriage. Not to say she was a doormat. They just happened to have the same general life goals and morals and when they did disagree they definitely fought but Paul usually got his way. Jane took Paul out of his comfort zone as far as silk handkerchiefs and "expanding his gregarious ambitions beyond the pubs" as Ruth put it. But I think even though he wasn't comfortable with it, he wanted that life badly and that's a big reason why he chose to be with Jane and he probably all but explicitly begged her to do that for him. So no pushing there. Heather may have pushed him into activism and he may have resented her for that I honestly don't know but it wasn't good. Nancy I think is another cool girl comfort zone wife for Paul.

Trustworthy is another one that I think depends on what you mean by that. The minute Paul stopped actively controlling John, he became a junkie who was also addicted to self-exposition, abandoned his child, got himself stranded in a foreign country, and tried his damnedest to lose his fortune to a predatory conman. Like. Do you know what that looks like if you take away John's money and fame? It looks like your veteran uncle using his disability payments to buy meth and getting kicked out of his dad's abandoned auto shop and getting married to the woman who constantly calls the cops on him when they're fighting. So. I wouldn't call that trustworthy. Jane and Linda and Nancy (maybe Heather idk) would never act like that, but Paul was still quite controlling with them because I physically don't think he can let go. I do agree with you that he would love to *seem* easygoing despite really being the one in control. And actually, that did happen with Linda now that I think about it. She got a lot of "controlling bitch" stereotyping. But I don't think that was because of their actual relationship dynamic, just society being like 'no man would actually want his wife in his band. I hate my wife. mccartney must hate his wife too, poor guy.'

Anyways all that to say I think I like halfway agree with you anon but I don't think I'm definitely correct on this point and I'd love to hear more if you think I'm missing something.

[puzzleglum]

To share at least one post for the 10 year anniversary of The Glass Scientists, here's a theory for the next few pages!

I believe Fake!Jasper is finally gonna show up. Sage confirmed a while ago that we'd see him eventually. And I think his words will carry more teeth than those from the other "fake" constructed-image people in Jekyll and Hyde's head. He's likely still gonna have a face, because the real Jasper hasn't been knocked off the pedestal Jekyll put him on, yet.

What does Fake!Jasper represent? Mainly, the Good Leader, and Jekyll's shame of not living up to that ideal. Jasper knew just what to do to get through to the Lodgers, and convince them all to get back to work on the Exhibition, remember?

Fake!Jasper could be really nasty. He could be the voice in Jekyll's head that's saying: now that you've sacrificed yourself, you are FINALLY a Good Leader. You did it. Don't you dare be selfish and take it back! They don't need you anymore. You're replaceable. The real Jasper can handle things without you.

Remember Jekyll's last words to the Society, before he buried himself in his mind?

Yeah. Oof.

Another source of shame is how Jasper called Jekyll out on his wallowing, over Lanyon AND the Lodgers. Because he was right, Jekyll was wallowing. And in particular, I'd like to point out how Jasper challenged Jekyll's belief that it's simply impossible for queer people to be happy, and find lasting relationships.

Look at these thoughts Jekyll has, waking up the morning after he FINALLY took the risk of telling Lanyon he truly wanted him. Thus getting back together, after so long of suffering, and pining for him in silence.

So another thing Fake!Jasper could represent is Jekyll's shame and frustration over not saying anything to Lanyon, about his true feelings, for 15 years.

The real Jasper isn't perfect at leadership either, or navigating the troubles that often come with being queer. But the "fake" people, that represent constructed images and the shame of not living up to them, aren't about being real. They're voices in Jekyll's head that poke at him for not being "perfect" and "good" and living up to impossible, pure ideals. Perfect boxes, that nobody actually fits into fully. And yet Jekyll wishes he did.

Shame is Jekyll’s prison. He's always comparing himself negatively to his idols, the people he admires. He feels like a fraud, an imposter who tries to emulate them, but always falls short in some way. Not a real aristocrat. Not a real scientist. Not a real leader. Henry Jekyll is basically impostor syndrome personified.

He needs to let them go. To ignore them. Their control over him, the shame of not living up perfectly to ANY of these ideals. Nobody does! Remember when Fake!Lanyon talked about the reason he lost his face?

Where do these impossible ideals even come from, if nobody actually lives up to them? That, too, is a question that likely needs to be answered in the narrative.

As for me, I think it has a lot to do with Jekyll's anxiety, self-hatred, perfectionism, and tendency to negatively compare himself to others. He often thinks others must be better than him in some way. Uncritically listening to these voices is another way Jekyll tends to harm himself.

Note that Jekyll called Hyde a mistake before, and now that's echoed by Fake!Lanyon. These voices say things that Jekyll believes about himself, deep down. That's why dealing with them is important.

It's only right that Hyde should have to face them now, theme, character arc, and narrative wise. These insecurities are some of the reasons Jekyll chose to bury himself away, resigned to his own fate. Hyde needs to argue back against these voices--or at least acknowledge and understand them and what they TRULY are, and so figure out how to properly ignore them--before he's ready to face Jekyll. Hyde will need to gain some insights into their own head (their psyche, why they are the way they are), if he wants to have any hope of convincing Jekyll to come back to the waking world.

However it's gonna go, I'm very excited to see this confrontation between Hyde, and Jekyll's voices of shame and insecurities continue! Thanks for reading, and please share any thoughts in the replies or tags! I love reading people's feedback!!

(Also, if my arguments don't quite cohere, please feel free to blame it on me being sick while I wrote this. Agh! I'm very tired of the fact I got sick again within a two month period. Sigh. Writing needs must, sometimes.)

[hotchfiles]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ❝ on my mind since the flood ❞ ─ a darling, in any life blurb

pairing: aaron hotchner x reader. summary: the red thread between two people destined to be together may stretch and tangle, but those ties will never break. or: a 45min train ride makes two 43 year olds feel like teenagers. content warnings: divorce babes, divorce. kinda spoiler-ish. watch the 3rd season before. the reader has a backstory and a job, if that bothers you grow up don't read. word count: 960+

Your hair was different, that was the first thing he noticed.

Much like himself, you had soft wrinkles beginning to show up on your forehead and around your eyes, a gift from your late thirties that kept on giving. Your eyes were the same though, he could recognize those anywhere at anytime, even if it had been decades since the last time they stared back at his. Your nose, your lips. Your smile. The way his name sounded coming from your tongue. It was all extremely familiar, as if he was fifteen again.

"You're staring, like a creep, airhead." The old nickname rolls out like you had spent merely seconds apart and it makes him laugh, it has been weeks, maybe months since he last laughed genuinely like that, with his whole face.

"I just got lost—" In your eyes. "In my memories for a bit. You look so much the same."

"Well, my pay check won't allow me any plastic surgeries so—"

"Wise ass." And there it was, like a reflex, his own nickname to you leaving his lips before he even thought about it, if he did think about it he probably would've held it in, a 43 year old FBI agent using childish nicknames not being the best look, but it didn't feel like that with you, at all, it felt natural. You both laugh at it for a second and a comfortable silence follows it, but Aaron couldn't keep it like that, he needed to know more, where have you been, what were you doing... Have you been in Virginia for long? He kept it as casual as he could considering his curiosity, "How have you been?"

"Alright, good, yeah. I’m teaching at Scalia, started this year, I want to keep practicing though, but I’m gonna settle down in Virginia first." You shrug, taking a sip of your coffee. You were purposefully leaving details out, you had seen him on TV a lot since coming back to the states, FBI, profiler. You wanted to see how much could he get from you without words. "What about you, mister FBI hotshot?"

If you two were still teens the way your teasing came out would've made him blush, and quite frankly if he wasn't so self controlled maybe he would've blushed right now, he did feel warm, but instead he just let a chuckle out of his throat, "Well, FBI hotshot just had his divorce finalized, not that glamorous being in these shoes." You already knew what he was doing with his life, it made sense to give the only actual news he had, "Scalia? Law degree too, then." Aaron clicks his tongue, not holding back the instant smirk the realization brought. "Your mother used to say we were so similar we shared the same brain, remember?"

"Welcome to the club, then! Meeting every Friday, membership perks only after the second one, though." His eyes went straight to your fingers, seeing the lack of any rings he nods to himself. Twice divorced. Dark heavy coat, makeup accentuating your features, red lips, hair pulled back. You care about being seen, and desired, but don't want to be approached, a teacher-lawyer, no time, a lot of perfectionism. "Yeah, I stay far away from criminal. Civil and International Law cases mostly. Families, divorces, cross-board custodies." A child of divorce trying to save other children of divorce. Very typical behavior.

Aaron felt like he could stay like this for hours on end, sitting by your side uncomfortably on the train after fate pulled you two to one another again, hearing you tell him about your life in London, your divorces, your time in college. You made him feel young, like you were still his childhood best friend who he fell for. Like if he were to kiss you like he did when you were both thirteen you would still blush and grip tightly on his shirt. Nostalgia was indeed a bittersweet thing.

"I think when you moved away was the last time I openly sobbed." He shakes his head, the thought leaving his brain in a quiet, hushed voice tone, like a secret he wasn't supposed to be telling. It had been years, you were both fifteen when your parents got divorced and you were taken to England with your father. 28 years since the last time he saw you, and he still can feel the same pain if he thinks too hard about it, the way his heart felt like was being sliced apart, getting smaller by the minute as your father's car got further and further away. His mood soured in a way his feelings were only able to function normally again after meeting Haley.

Your hand softly touched his with the confession, your thumb going to his palm and drawing small comforting circles, "I cried myself to sleep a lot that year." Aaron glued his eyes on the way your hands touched, and you thought he might reject it, find it weird after so many years, but instead he just closed his around yours tightly, a silent thankful prayer to the universe, mixed with the warning that he had no intention to let go.

You both stay like that as you talk the rest of the ride, cellphone numbers and e-mails are exchanged, along with longing glances beginning to make you shy like the school girl you once were, when you fell for him the first time. You often wondered what would've happened if you stayed in Washington. Before Jack, Aaron wondered it too from time to time, but truly, he wouldn't do anything different now, he wouldn't choose any alternative ending that would take Jack from him.

But at least now he had a second chance, right?

[cleameur]

thinking about how clea’s perfectionism must have started off as mere juvenile curiosity, this overly inquisitive nature, innate from a young age. a precocious girl that constantly awed the adults around her with how clever beyond her years she was. just one of those children that wanted to know everything about everything, absorbing any and all knowledge she could get her hands on. i can see her sneaking into aline’s atelier and watching her work in secret so she could memorise her techniques, way before she ever picked up a brush herself.

it doesn’t stop at painting though. she wants to do it all, know it all, voraciously so. an undeniable hunger for greatness. it’s not just art, but the world at large that she draws inspiration from, using each and every single new discovery and imbuing it into her craft. she genuinely loves nothing more than broadening her horizons at any given moment. and then, verso comes along and all she wants to do is share it with him. a very young clea being so incredibly excited to teach her little brother everything she’s learned so far, from painting, to sculpting, to music and beyond. i just know she was delivering university style lectures to verso when he was only a toddler. "no, you can’t play right now, you have to listen to me, this is important!!"

but something shifts the more she grows up and matures. this perfectionism twists, its novelty sours. it suddenly becomes more of a hindrance than anything else. there’s this palpable race against time, that brings with it a slew of self-imposed pressures to maintain the standards she’d established for herself. because how is she supposed to achieve everything she’d set her mind to, when her lifespan is only a blip in the universe? the realization of her own mortality is sobering, but not because of any fear regarding death, but rather the fear of failure. the vastness of human creativity and the impossibility that comes with trying to consume it all. so much beauty and art that will forever remain unknown to her, despite her every wish to collect, document and immortalise it within her own work. because at the end of the day, she is just one person and no matter how hard she tries, it will never be enough.

a huge misconception about gifted children or young prodigies as a whole, is that it all comes naturally to them, that their talent alone can elevate them in whichever field they’re pursuing. while that might be true for some, i don’t think it is for most and it certainly isn’t for clea. she works so incredibly hard and she doesn’t ever do things by halves. not even in the midst of a war does she allow herself to create anything subpar. her nevrons are deadly, yes, but also beautiful in a monstrous way. they showcase a level of care and thoughtfulness not only towards her craft, but perhaps also towards the memory of her brother and everything they made together. i might be reading too much into this, but the fact that her nevrons are created to match and complement each of the different biomes of the continent is rather poignant to me. there’s no function over form with her. she does both, always.

[greenbubblefactory]

Matchup for @ay-na

Congratulations you have a match with..

Vil Schoenheit!

★The connection between you and Vil Schoenheit is rooted in a shared sense of ambition, emotional depth, and a drive for self-improvement. Both of you hold yourselves to incredibly high standards, always striving to be the best version of yourselves in everything you do, whether it's academically, emotionally, or creatively. Vil’s intense perfectionism is mirrored in your own careful attention to detail, which makes him someone who truly understands your inner workings and your deep desire to improve. Your love for strategy and thinking before acting aligns perfectly with Vil’s calculated approach to life. He never rushes into things without considering every possible outcome, and that trait resonates deeply with you, as you tend to be more introspective and careful about your decisions as well.

★What sets Vil apart, however, is his drive to not just achieve, but to exceed expectations. While you may sometimes struggle with pushing yourself too far or neglecting self-care in the name of ambition, Vil has an innate understanding of balance. He knows the importance of taking care of one's mental and physical well-being, and that knowledge would be crucial in helping you navigate your own tendency to overwork yourself. He would encourage you to take breaks, to treat yourself with kindness, and to remember that even perfectionists need rest. Vil's gentle yet firm reminders would guide you to avoid burning out and ensure that you continue to grow at a pace that’s both sustainable and fulfilling.

★You are someone who tends to keep your emotions close to your chest. You value your solitude and often prefer not to burden others with your feelings, choosing to quietly work through them on your own. However, Vil, with his keen eye for detail, would notice the slightest changes in your behavior and moods. Whether it's a shift in your tone, body language, or the quiet tension that lingers in your expression, Vil would immediately pick up on it. And while he might not always vocalize his concern right away, he would be there, observing and offering subtle support when needed. Unlike many who might try to push you to open up too quickly, Vil would give you the space you need, offering gentle encouragement until you're ready to share what's on your mind.

★Your quiet strength would appeal to Vil, who often carries the weight of expectations from both the public and himself. He can relate to the internal pressure that comes from constantly being in the spotlight, and in a way, your emotional distance and introspection would give him a sense of relief. You wouldn’t demand his attention at all times, and that would allow him to find peace in your presence. The emotional support would be mutual,while you might not outwardly express your need for emotional intimacy, Vil’s actions and words would help you feel deeply cared for, allowing you to soften and trust him over time.

★One of Vil’s most endearing qualities is his loyalty, and this is a trait that you, too, deeply value. You tend to be slow to trust others due to your fear of betrayal, but once you’ve earned Vil’s trust, you would see a side of him that’s dedicated, protective, and unwavering. He would never betray your trust, and his word would mean everything to you. This bond of mutual trust and respect would be the foundation of a strong and lasting relationship between the two of you. You would know that no matter what happens, Vil would always be there for you, standing by your side when you need him the most.

★What makes Vil such a great match for you is his ability to inspire you to push past your self-imposed limitations. You may often doubt your abilities or feel insecure, especially when you’re facing a challenge that feels insurmountable. However, Vil’s unwavering confidence in your potential would help you see the strength and talent within yourself. He would not only believe in you but would actively encourage you to embrace your skills and talents, even when you find it difficult to do so. Vil’s perfectionism might sometimes come off as demanding, but his intentions are always to help you grow and reach your full potential.

★He would constantly challenge you to be better, but in a way that feels supportive rather than harsh. You might not always agree with his methods, but deep down, you’d understand that he only pushes you because he sees the greatness within you. His constructive feedback would help you sharpen your skills and develop an even deeper understanding of who you are and what you’re capable of. Your mutual drive for growth and improvement would foster a healthy sense of competition between the two of you, but not in a way that breeds animosity. Instead, it would be a motivating force that helps both of you push beyond your limits, with each of you acting as the other’s mirror,reflecting back what you could be if you just had the courage to take that next step.

★Vil’s love language, although subtle, is rooted in acts of service and words of affirmation. He would express his affection through small but meaningful gestures,whether it's leaving encouraging notes for you, cooking you a meal when you're feeling down, or helping you organize your thoughts when you’re overwhelmed. While you might not be the type to overtly express your feelings, Vil would have no problem letting you know just how much you mean to him. He would shower you with thoughtful words that let you know how important you are to him, ensuring that you never question your place in his life.

★On your end, you would show your affection in more understated ways. You might bake him his favorite treats, create little tokens of appreciation, or simply spend time with him, allowing him to feel your support without having to say anything at all. Your nurturing side would come out in moments when you see him struggling, and you would quietly offer your help in ways that only you know how. While you may sometimes feel guilty about not voicing your feelings as openly as you’d like, Vil would understand your quiet way of showing love and would appreciate the thoughtfulness behind it. In return, he would reassure you that his love for you is not dependent on grand gestures or constant verbal affirmation, but on the quiet, consistent care you give him in your own way.

★While your relationship with Vil would mostly be one of mutual respect and support, there would also be moments of challenge. You are both perfectionists, and there may be times when you clash over the best way to approach a situation or the ideal way to handle a problem. However, these disagreements would not lead to tension but would instead serve as opportunities for growth. You would both learn to compromise, finding ways to blend your styles in a way that allows you to achieve your goals without losing sight of each other’s needs.

★Vil, for all his confidence, can sometimes be a little too hard on himself, and you might find yourself stepping in to remind him that it's okay to not always be perfect. In turn, he would be there for you, encouraging you to step out of your shell when self-doubt creeps in, helping you see how capable you truly are. You would both challenge each other to be better, but you would do so in ways that strengthen your bond rather than undermine it. Your relationship would be one of constant evolution, where both of you grow together, pushing each other to reach new heights while also being there to catch each other when you fall.

English is not my first language so I'm sorry if there are any spelling mistakes!

[stygiansauce]

sauce my friend (am i allowed to call you any of that?) my love (all platonic :D)

i was on vacation for what felt like almost the entirety of june (two different trips both roughly a week long) and i fear ive been slacking on bothering you !!!

i saw the second sticks fic and i absolutely adore it ! i cant remember if i've properly commented on unsportsmanlike conduct (i think when that dropped was the last time i sent an ask) but i loved it, you never fail with writing insane sexual tension and raunchy ranchers :D

with countercurrent, it felt like a reminder that even in this universe of rivalry and uppercuts, the ranchers are still ranching and down bad and goofy at their core... tango's call at the end especially,,, and jimmy running to take it privately made me smile so much :D i also love how you further explained jimmy's background with the fic !!! im also always amazed at how ur exposition feels natural, as well as the dialogue between pearl and jimmy. their friendship was so blatant and heartwarming and i loved it so much !!!

ive seen ur posts about struggling with MOE and i wanted to give some words of encouragement, even if im not much of a writer. i love all your work, and MOE is such a wonderful fic so i wish you all the luck in tackling chapter 5!!! i fear ive been slacking as a saucefan, but ive wanted to illustrate so much of your writing but i can only pick and choose so many scenes... i was struggling with my MOE fanart because i wanted to make it as wonderful as i could, to do MOE justice. so from one creative to another, we can get thru this :DDD sending much love <33

HARU! my friend! (yes babe, we're friends), my love! my sweet and amazing daaarling!

GOSH this is so sweet of you, thank you for taking the time to write this out to me. It really means the world hearing how much yall like my work, it makes me more excited to share it with you all and proud that my love letter has earned your hearts too. I hope your vacation of enjoyable and restful Haru! I would kill for a vacay right now but alas I will let pet sitting my my vacay /silly.

There is no such thing as slacking! I'm grateful for you even if you're feeling quiet. The appreciation I get on my is astounding. I am always grateful for the readers that are loud about expressing their liking of my funny stories, but I'm also grateful to those that lurk. simple Kudos, or even just reading and quietly leaving after. I still got to share my art and in the end that's the whole goal of putting out fanfic! So it's okay Haru <3 I see you in my notifs I know you're still near by.

Thank you for loving sticks! I have no idea how I write the tension the way I do. I've been asked before how I do it and I just...stare at it? Till it does the thing? so it makes me happy that you all like it! I'm having a lot of fun with Sticks honestly. Playing with new dynamics and picking up characters I don't normally write for. It's also been a great way to meet new people and get closer with my friends, every day is exciting to live right now and I cannot say thank you enough for offering me that.

I will tackle MoE 5. I'm gonna do it and it's be great. I'm getting better with perfectionism (Spelling errors in IN my fic lmao omg) but to me, making the product something I'm happy with isn't really perfectionism. I want to be proud of 5 before she comes out, and I know you're all waiting so patiently so I will promise that it will be MoE standard (even or better than chapter four). There's some pressure yeah, but I know none of you hold it against me to take my time and make something we'll all love. It's funny, I was just telling Kit how I fear y'all would kill someone if I ever got a hate comment. <3

For YOU Haru, take your time too. Thank you for working on art for MoE, that alone makes me feel so proud and so loved. You could draw me a stick figure and it would do MoE justice so long as it's something you're proud to have made. This whole, fanfic and tumblr thing we're doing here is an exercise in loving things (for me at least). I want to love my writing again. I want to love my free time and my hobbies. I want to love researching funny topics, and reading, and interacting online. I do now. So make what makes you happy, something you love even if its imperfect, even if you think someone might not like it. I promise you I'll like it, because I like you <3 I am sending love right back at you babe. RAH this community ToT you guys make me soft. I have never cried more in my life than I do now (good tears!)

everyone go drink water and sleep good. I love y'all, freaking nerds /aff.

[glowettee]

how to recover from chronic procrastination (not just time management tips)

by mindy @glowettee

i wanted to talk about healing your relationship with time and tasks when you're stuck in a deep procrastination cycle. i've been in this cycle for a month now, and just recently got out of it using all of these methods. please just remember to be gentle to yourself, and take small steps.

understanding your procrastination:

identifying emotional triggers: notice what feelings come up right before you avoid tasks. is it fear? overwhelm? sometimes it's as subtle as a tiny flutter of anxiety

recognizing avoidance patterns: maybe you always clean your room when essays are due, or suddenly need to reorganize your pinterest boards before studying

spotting perfectionism links: notice when you're not starting because you're afraid it won't be perfect. this often shows up as "i'll start when i feel more prepared"

understanding fear responses: your body might feel heavy, or you might get suddenly sleepy when facing certain tasks. these are actually fear responses in disguise

mapping procrastination cycles: track how one avoided task creates a domino effect of more procrastination. it's usually a sweet little pattern we can gently break

emotional recovery steps:

healing task-related anxiety: create tiny, sweet rituals that make tasks feel safe. maybe light a candle before starting or use your prettiest pen

building self-trust again: start with promises so small they feel silly. like "i'll work for just two minutes" and actually stop after two minutes

developing completion confidence: collect evidence of times you've finished things, even tiny things like making your bed or sending a text

managing overwhelm spirals: catch yourself before the "i have so much to do" spiral starts. write everything down in your prettiest handwriting

creating safety in starting: make beginning feel cozy. wrap yourself in a soft blanket, make tea, create a gentle environment for work

rebuilding work capacity:

micro-task training: start with tasks so tiny they feel almost meaningless. maybe just open your laptop or take out one book

starting-point exercises: practice just beginning things without the pressure to finish. it's like dipping your toes in a pool

momentum building: string tiny tasks together like beads on a necklace. each small completion leads to another

success spirals: document every tiny win in a pretty journal. watching the pages fill creates its own kind of motivation

confidence restoration: celebrate completing even the smallest tasks. treat each one like a tiny victory worth noting

practical healing methods:

task relationship repair: make peace with tasks that scare you. talk to them like old friends you're getting to know again

emotional safety nets: create comfort zones within your work space. maybe a special corner with fairy lights and soft pillows

anxiety soothing techniques: develop gentle ways to calm your nervous system. perhaps counting flower petals or tracing patterns

overwhelm prevention: break everything down into pieces so small they feel almost silly. like "open notebook" as a complete task

progress preservation: keep a soft, gentle record of all your tiny steps forward. no progress is too small to celebrate

creating new patterns:

gentle accountability: find ways to be accountable that don't feel punishing. maybe share your tiny goals with a friend

achievement recognition: notice and celebrate every small completion, even just getting out your materials

progress celebration: create sweet little rewards for progress. maybe a favorite song or a moment with your comfort book

pattern interruption: catch old patterns with gentleness. "oh, there's my pinterest avoidance. how sweet of me to try to protect myself"

identity rebuilding: slowly start seeing yourself as someone who can start and finish things, one tiny step at a time

maintaining recovery:

preventing relapse: notice early warning signs with kindness. catch yourself before the avoidance cycle starts

managing setbacks: treat setbacks like gentle reminders to return to your healing practices

building resilience: each time you start again, you're building stronger foundations

sustaining progress: keep your momentum gentle and sustainable

adapting strategies: adjust your approaches with tenderness as you learn what works best for you

remember: recovering from chronic procrastination is about healing, not just forcing yourself to work.

tip: small wins create the foundation for bigger changes 🤍

p.s. you're not lazy, you're healing from task trauma.

[ducktracy]

i hope you dont mind me asking; but do you have any general tips for getting into/starting storyboarding? or anything on fighting perfectionism when you draw??? im having a hard time just actually drawing to begin with because of it and its gotten worse and worse recently and its just... really disheartening ghsjdkmgs- ive been combing through bsky for production art for the day the earth blew up and looking through storyboards in general has always really inspired me; the way that it doesnt Need to be perfect and just needs to like, convey the absolute basics and get the idea across has always been really comforting in a weird roundabout way? if that makes sense hdsjkmgsd-

HEY THERE!! i don't mind at all, i'm so flattered you'd come to me!

to answer the first part of your question, i'm going to link to some posts (here and here) where i've answered the same question. NOT because i don't respect your time (trust me, i hate being like "eh just go with all the others and look at this" LOL), but because i trust Past Me to have answered it a bit more clearly and clearheadedly than Present-Me, who would just be rambling trying to think of what Past Me has said. so i hope these are helpful!

THE SECOND PART OF YOUR QUESTION! you are both asking the right and wrong person, because i struggle TREMENDOUSLY with this as well! right in that i can offer empathy/share my experiences, wrong in that i still don't quite have a cure-all and it's something i'm struggling with right at this very second :')

but, as someone with debilitating OCD and perfectionism (to the point where it extends to even the most inconsequential of tasks and habits completely unrelated to art--even/especially things i enjoy doing!!), i struggle HARD with this. and my director turned me onto a bit of a lifesaver that's streamlined my storyboarding process tremendously: THE CHICKEN SCRATCH METHOD.

it's exactly as it sounds. just churn out the quickest, most juvenile scribbles imaginable. you're not thinking about drawing at all. it's just to get something down on paper--starting is always one of the most difficult parts for me, and once i have something down, even if it is GODAWFUL, i feel like i've broken the ice a bit and can carve deeper.

i'm linking (and posting screenshots) from this WIP animatic i posted last week--more than half of it is chickenscratch, and me doing exactly what i do for work! this is how i start every single storyboard. complete 4 year old level scribbles. even Porky here is a bit too fancy, you can see i gave him (and Daffy's face) construction lines out of habit haha. you don't need to do that yet!!

but, also, you can see that earlier on in the animatic, where i've begun to clean it up (i call them "drawovers"), it looks like my normal art style!

i also again recommend actually watching the video, because the motion is the important thing here--you can see how articulated my drawovers are in drawing and acting in comparison to the chickenscratch bits, which are a bit more broad but still convey a general idea

what i also tend to do is chickenscratch my chickenscratches--for my boards, i usually will doodle the broad acting ideas elsewhere, and then transfer those ideas onto my board. it helps with that feeling of easing in and doesn't make me feel as suffocated by a blank screen. i will say that i've been working on excising this process entirely, as it's sort of unnecessary and maybe more of an omission of my own lack of artistic confidence HAHA--i'm trying to get there! but it helps with the artistic brain demons and makes getting started easier, and that's the important thing

and, again, these are a bit fancier than what i usually do: here's some old thumbs for an actual section i boarded for work

it's also very good for someone like me--i'm an extraordinarily detail-oriented person, but i really struggle with the bigger picture. this commonly bites me in the butt when i'm storyboarding, as sometimes i have difficulty visualizing how a sequence will flow in the grand scheme of things. and since my entire job is being An Artist Who Draws Images In Sequential Order, That Go Into A Sequence, That Relies On Every Little Part To Be Working, Because It Is A Sequence, that's not very good! and so chicken scratch helps exactly with that. you're communicating the main idea. you're putting the foundation down, and you're able to get a vague idea of how the ideas and sequences flow together.

HOWEVER. i will say that's about the most advice i can give before it delves into "if you find the answer, lemme know" HAHA. my boards for work are stupidly clean and should not be as stupidly clean as they are. it's something i've been trying to work on for years--i still struggle with getting into board artist/animator brain vs illustrator brain, and a lot of times i'll have a very pretty drawing, but it isn't functional at all and i'll have to throw it out. and it's my own fault! THIS IS SUCH A HARSH METAPHOR and i said it once to my director before being like "wait wow wtf is wrong with me for saying this" LMAO but it's still the most apt way i can describe it. clearly gotta work on my artistic confidence. but in regards to this, i've said "a polished turd is still a turd" and there is hopefully a much kinder way of getting that point across, but yes--clean drawings are not the end all and be all of boarding and animation! in fact, in my experience, they cause more harm than good! i've been trying very hard to unlearn it, it's been a very difficult and taxing and frustrating process that's soured a lot of my already meager artistic confidence--but that means i'm growing and learning.

a common mantra we try to recite is "clear, not clean". and the TDTEBU boards (which, aren't they amazing??) is the very definition of that! i'm trying to beat that into myself more and more. likewise, working on the Sponge shows is a bit of a special circumstance since the animators directly trace off of our boards; what we draw is what ends up on screen. that includes mistakes. there's definitely a higher amount of pressure, especially compared to feature boarding where there seems to be a lot more leeway for looseness. so i'm maybe coming from SOMEwhere here HAHA, but yes, clear, not clean!!

i say all of this knowing i'm going to clean up my pig and duck animatic and have it be as clean as my boards for work, sort of defeating the entire purpose :') i still have a lot to learn and internalize, obviously! but i hope this at least offers some camaraderie and the understanding that you are NOT ALONE! i struggle with Perfectionism Paralysis with every single task i ever do, i'm much less fond of my art than i come off, etc... but i'm working on it and i know we'll both do great!!!

i hope this could be helpful, or at least reassuring!! thank you so much for coming to me, and i wish you the best of luck! you've got this!!

[vidavalor]

Supreme Archangel

On the pun-loving, wordplay-happy Good Omens, what would it mean for someone to be supreme archangel? Forget that it's also a job title for a minute and just look at the words-- what is someone who is pretty supreme in their archangelness?

Supreme, meaning that which is the most extreme or greatest. Arch, meaning to be above... and, also, to tease in a knowing sort of way.

Supreme Archangel = person with a sense of humor who is just completely totally over the struggle of being an angel.

Gabriel and his arch sense of humor and his being absolutely beyond all of this stuff for literal eons is supreme archangel before you even consider his former job title. Supreme Archangel is really also just a description of his character, as is his other job title of assistant bookseller. Gabriel is still supreme archangel. He's not the only one, though...

Crowley is supreme archangel. Above being an angel because, like Gabriel, he embraces human living when an angel is not supposed to do that. He's supremely beyond all the drama of Heaven and its pious perfection.

Crowley and Gabriel share a very arch sense of humor. Humor is a signature trait of a supreme archangel because it is developed from having greater understanding and wider perspective that can only come from living a bit, which can only come from breaking free of your angelic angst and inner demons enough to allow yourself to grow.

The ability to recognize humor is the ability to recognize the experience of others and it can be intuitive or it can be a learned trait, as Shax is showing us with her quest to understand sarcasm. Everyone has the capability of getting better at it, just as they also have the capability of freeing themselves from being princes of darkness and from the pressures of the perfectionism of being an angel.

Who else is supreme archangel already? Lord Beelzebub is.

In their case, part of their being supreme archangel involved deciding that making a life together with the being who also had that as a literal job title eclipsed Heaven and Hell nonsense.

They know that not everyone else is there yet-- some even want to be what Beez also has been, which is The Grand Duke of Hell... which might be a job title but, as a description, is just the most supremely depressed of the princes of darkness.

Beez might be the only one with the job title so far of Grand Duke of Hell but they aren't the only one who is one.

Crowley is a prince of Hell in every meaning of it already-- in title and in description. I'd call him a grand duke of it, too. Anyone would take one look at Gabriel's depression and say that The Supreme Archangel has long also been a grand duke of Hell, right?

Not to mention that Beez is supreme archangel because they more than meet the other criteria of being very arch in humor.

Shax isn't there yet-- supreme archangel Crowley is still giving her sarcasm lessons-- so she doesn't see the humor in Beez's dry joke that, with them gone, all of this misery could soon be all Shax's because she could "be the next Grand Duke of Hell."

Shax gets excited about the literal job opening and doesn't see that Beez is really saying: all this misery could soon be yours, Shax, best of luck! 😂

Gabriel joining in to be an absolutely marvelous bitch in his expressions... he is, visually, the definition of arch in this scene, with that look that sarcastically says: omg, you hear that, Shax? Grand Duke of Hell! GO GIRL! 😂 These two can be such jerks lol but their humor does come from both of them being supreme archangel and so having an understandable frustration with their lives being impacted by people who are still caught up trying to play the rules of a system that doesn't value anybody.

So, if you're a grand duke of hell... if you're someone who is depressed, someone who is living with a lot of darkness and pain? Then you're also someone who has a soul and a conscience and a certain innate sensitivity that is causing you to feel these things, right? It takes someone who is an angel to bother to do their best to fight their inner demons.

A duke of Hell/prince of darkness is an angel.

And, conversely? If you're an angel who is just massively over all the hell of being an angel... so, if you're a supreme archangel?

By definition, an angel who is done with being an angel is a demon.

And they would be because a demon is also just a person who is passionately invested in or highly skilled in something. By definition, a demon is someone who is doing some living. Someone who is learning how to dance on the head of a pin.

Grand duke of Hell is the most angelic thing there is and supreme archangel is really the most demonic thing a being could ever be. Neither is good or bad; they're just par for the course for most people in different times in life.

Aziraphale doesn't actually need the job of Supreme Archangel and its title to parallel Gabriel's story. They've had the same plot already. They are the two foremost angels who have been supreme archangel all along and helping one another out with it.

They collectively built and secured the embassy bookshop-- Aziraphale designing and building it and Gabriel ensuring its existence and protecting it. They are both against the idea of angelic superiority and support the demons. They both mutinied-- Aziraphale actually did it first when he refused to fight in Armageddon in S1. They both also know what it is to be grand duke of Hell, too, as they both have plenty of inner demons that they are constantly battling.

I think that the point of the story is to make it so that as many of the characters as possible are lower case supreme archangel and none of them are uppercase Supreme Archangel. That position needs to go. The most supreme archangel thing Gabriel has ever done is to quit being The Supreme Archangel. Aziraphale wouldn't have gone anywhere near it if it weren't for his fears about Crowley's safety, which can be resolved in The Finale. There shouldn't be a Supreme Archangel. There should be a bunch of supreme archangels who freely elect willing people to roles like is the case with every other barely functioning but democratic system of government there is. 😂

The point is to break this system that doesn't recognize an individual's right to self-determine and make their own professions about who they are. The Big Bads are screwed, though, because whatever the plot in The Finale? Aziraphale, longtime grand duke of Hell, has really already been supremely archangel for a very, very long time.

[tinycrescent]

do you have any tips for learning how to draw? your art looks so free and expressive even in rough sketch form, and the colors are absolutely gorgeous, but i don't even know how to color normally and don't have the means to do it digitally, so i'll leave that for later haha. anyway just wondering if you did anything in particular to practice or to learn your skills. your art is just so good. sorry if you've been asked before. thank you for sharing your art with the dn fandom!!

thank you for your message!!! ♥︎ you're very kind. I hope what I write here is helpful, but this is sort of a complicated one for me to answer!

in all honesty, I struggle deeply with seeing my art as good enough. my relationship with my creative process is something I’d consider unhealthy more often than not– though I’d like to think it’s getting better as of late. :')

I wasn’t formally taught how to draw, but I was obsessed with hand-drawn media from a young age, whether it was comics, 2D animation, illustrations, etc., and growing up, I would try to emulate the artists I loved as practice. I was just using a cheap yellow pencil and notebook paper, but it was all I needed at the time. and I think that's a really good place to start! don't worry about buying a bunch of art supplies all at once; you'll naturally accumulate tools as you go.

I’d say look at art, a lot of different types of art, and study it to discover what you like, and equally importantly, what you don’t. drill into why. if an artist you love shows their works in progress or sketches, really take a look at those. it’s so much easier to understand a rough image and how it was drawn/what marks the artist used rather than dissecting a polished piece. 

if you have friends who like to draw, spend time drawing with them! make up stories and characters together. I drew all the time growing up. all the time. I was a super quiet, well behaved kid in school because I was terrified of getting in trouble, and yet I was constantly reprimanded for drawing during class. it was the one thing I was willing to get yelled at for. my point isn’t to get in trouble (lol), but more so– draw whenever you can, wherever you can. even when it’s mindless. keep paper nearby. doodle. draw what you see around you.

these days, it’s my perfectionism that really kills my love for drawing. it stops me from drawing at all sometimes, because I’m worried (before I even start!) whatever I make won’t be “good enough”, whatever that means. it got much easier when I stopped trying to keep a neat sketchbook and allowed myself to let go. draw quick, draw messy, draw “bad”. you have to make art you aren't satisfied with to get better. and it sucks! you might try something new and feel like, damn this looks so incredibly amateur, but it's an unavoidable part of the process. if you can look at what you made, accept it for what it is, and then keep going, you’ve already jumped the biggest hurdle.

when I’m stuck in a mental feedback loop of oh my god, I don’t know how to draw, why is my art so bad, I compare something I made this year to the year before. even if the differences aren’t immediately apparent, chances are you learned something between then and now– whether it be a better understanding of your personal taste/drawing style or composition or, like, how to draw ears. it gives you concrete proof that you’ve improved.

⬇ this is a Light I drew in 2022 compared to one from early 2024. even now, I look at the more recent image on the right and think, yeah I would probably draw that differently. but I'm also proud of the me back then who did her best.

really, truly, I’m still learning how to draw all the time. part of the reason I made this account and started posting Death Note fanart was because it was a low pressure way to be creative and let go and have fun. and maybe that’s my biggest piece of advice, simple as it is. enjoy it! draw self-indulgently. strive to improve, but also be lenient with yourself. if you find the love in drawing, it'll pull you through the times when it’s frustrating.

♥︎