#shamed because im fat
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i havent been doing it for a while but man. i love reading advice columns.
"my son has an eating disorder, i always thought he was the easy kid, we invite him to exercise for an hour every day and we always promoted healthy eating habits like banning butter and avoiding desert so i dont know how this happened!!!"
like i know this person was well meaning and cares about ttheir kid but some people have no fucking reasoning ability or self criticism especially when it comes to their interpersonal family relationships. like lets not even touch on the easy kid thing-- parent code for my kid is smart so i stopped paying any real attention around ten which surprisingly did not give the kid the impression that i am always there to listen and provide support before things hit crisis level.
also i feel like i see this the most with crunchy liberal families -- yall seem to understand that teaching abstinence only sex education leaves teenagers with more questions that results in more negative sexual behaviors but cant apply that same reasoning to food. if you ban all sugar and fat during weekdays it kind of makes perfect sense that your stressed kid immediately turns to binging on fats and sugars. like. every kid i knew in that situation growing up spent their allowance (its also always the rich families) on candy and chocolate and sugar from the grocery store, not the co-op, to the dismay and anger of their parents that resulted in punishment (usually grounding!!).
moral of the story: let ur kid have a fucking gusher. refined sugars are not methamphetamines but god its hard to convince most health concious parents of that fact
like im not saying im better off because i had access to fruit snacks but i do think i have benefitted in the long run from having a mix: i ate fresh fruits and vegetables just as often as i was drinking coke and eating ice cream. like i dont think the unrestricted access to coca cola my whole life was great but i dont hate myself when i eat baked goods and i dont have several food intolerances from eating only processed food so im pretty thankful for the happy medium!
and like in both cases we are all suffering because america prioritizes profit over well rounded and sustainable food education. we do not want consumers making educated, balanced decisions, we want fear. fear of sugar or fear of starving because those two attitudes produce the most profit
#morning rant#also just to be clear like most other americans i do also have an eating disorder#like im not exempt from the rhetoric even tho i had a pretty balanced food upbringing#still doesnt mean shit if you dont understand food and eating and energy#i just got the other one :) i just Don't eat because i had unrestricted access and a mother that body shamed anyone too fat or too skinny
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
People be condemning transgenders for making life-altering changes to their bodies. For the better, I might add.
And then they proceed to turn around, and condemn people that aren't too skinny, for not making life-altering changes to their bodies.
And then they force opposing agendas upon them- both of these groups- that, most often, ends up sending them spiralling into a rabbit hole that changes their life for the worse.
Make it make sense, people. Make it make sense.
#transgender#fat#uh what are the tags actually. im not on woke political Tumblr too much#textpost#tumblr memes#lgbt#yeah no i do not know. this just came to mind#but seriously. this is stupid.#oh so liposuction and plastic surgery and toxic chemicals upon chemicals for beauty's sake are fine?#but fitting into your own skin for once in your fucking life isn't????#oh so we drape our bodies amid cloth upon cloth? treat our flesh as an object of shame and naked sin?#so we mock and we jeer and we taunt and we leer when she deigns to revel in her shape; her form; her very being?#the cream of skin and the pink of parts. we must hide them away because they are inherently fault and flaw.#this is what you say.#and yet when we find genuine fault in what we resemble compared to who we truly are.#when the fibres of our being conflict with those of the flesh. when we are a horrible amalgamation of shapes and soul#and oh! suddenly our bodies are perfect and divine? suddenly we are the spawn of god made in his image??#what is sin? contrived for convenience.#dangit fuck the patriarchy
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I do not like the response to these megan thee stallion allegations. half are mocking phrases from misogynists and barbs and the other from people thinking Megan thee stallion having sex with women was a secret and they're hyper focusing on that
#the main thing is the hostile environment the verbal abuse/fat shaming and harassment NOTHING ELSE.#but people cannot be normal about this because Megan has been through alot and these abuser lovers want to have a reason#to disregard what shes been through#im not defending what she did. its awful
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
not skinny people getting butthurt in the notes on that last rb come on guys 😭😭 sooooo sensitive lmfao shut up
#i truly believe people who have never been fat just. lack some kind of understanding of the world#there's just certain basic shit they can't seem to understand#'body shaming' literally stfu society is built for people our size#do u have any idea how easy it is for me to buy clothes at my size now? besties i can just waltz into any old store#thrifting is a breeze when you're below a size 12#and that's not bragging it actually makes me so angry#because for years i could not do that. any store was a risk#i could only really go shopping with other plus sized people because it was just such a different (and more challenging) process#not to mention more expensive (i just used to have fewer clothes and i'd do more alterations)#the seething rage i feel every time i see a rack full of sizes 0-12 and nothing bigger is never gonna go away#especially considering that like im not gonna be the same size forever im gonna eventually be 45 and gain weight again#and that would be absolutely fine except for the part where fat women get treated like shit#buying clothes is soooo tip of the iceberg that's tame#try going to the doctor as a fat person!#sorry i know im preaching to the choir im just tipsy and pissed off lol#bri babbles
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes I talk to my dad abt controversial things and/or literally give my opinion and he responds and I'm just like 'yeah no you're why people dont like me'
#me sayjng that I dont agree with his opinion but sure you can think his way but heres why i dont agree and him going 'yes no ofcourse you're#right because you're always right and never open for different opinions and not nuanced and and and' in the most sarcastic way and I'm just#standing there like '??? I ended my piece saying y ur opinion could also be right wtf' and he is like 'no im sure because i know these#kinda things' and me and my mom ask for evidence and he gets mad bc no he knows this obviously he just knows this#and then 5 minutes later he goes (non sarcastically) 'yea kyle can do anything' and then when i respond w 'ye sure' he gets mad#bc he sees it as me not being able to take a compliment#SIR I CAN IN FACT NOT DO ANYTHING U LIT TOLD ME I'M BLATENTLY WRONG AND MY OPINION IS WRONG 5 MINUTES AGO#stop telling me I'm perfect AT EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME PLEASE#anyway slay i dont like him as a man and yet he makes me feel like im not allowed to#and shames me when i make it clear I dont like being around him as much#anyway hes a sucky sucky man a lot of the time and atp I'm like 90% sure hes a narcissist but idk enough abt it#anyway fat slay#I'm literally never coming out to him as trans bte bc when one of his closest friends came out as a women and said she was going to#transition he saw it as unfair to HIM because its hard for HIM to lose a friend and he didn't know how to deal with that so she was a bad#friend for doing that. also I'm his favourite little girl to this day like sir....im a 24 yr old whos not called themselves a woman in like#6 yrs please catch on#god so much to talk abt w/him thats to much I'm not gonna trauma dump#anyway he sucks#he just can't seem to grab onto me thinking he sucks
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
a recent encounter in the wild of a person i used to be friends in primary school, really made me think about how much has changed since then. because that friend is the same as i remember them, in the best meaning of that sentence, and im just. well💀
#delete later#shut up kody#i used to be the most outgoing kid you could imagine. probably twice as annoying..............or thrice#supposedly i had no shame to just come up to someone and boom. an instant friend#probably half of my primary school knew me and my mum. random kids would come up to her just like that#(she likes to recall that. i think she sometimes misses that kid too)#anwyay its so surreal to think about now#because current me and past me????nah. thats two completely different people lol💀#and that friend tried to be so nice. they were like#'oh we can go to that one hangout spot u used to really like'#and i do not remember having a favourite hangout spot. or any spot. primary school is a big fat blank for me memeries wise#she suggested bringing our old field hockey team together for a match#didnt really want to so instead of being mature about it. i blatently lied that i couldnt play anymore#didnt even bat an eye#anyway so rn. the idea of being that outgoing sounds like a nightmare tbh lol#and feels so distant too ig#so on one hand its so bittersweet#and on the other. its almost upsetting to be reminded. so vividly. of the life i could have had if i didnt grow up to be like i am#because that old friend is still the same. living their best life#theyre still the same and im. well. im not#and sure#maybe thats okay#cause we all evolve and grow in different ways blah blah blah#but i dont think i like being reminded of who i used to be#i dont think i like that at all
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
💭
#online diary#this is a bit of a rant so don’t mind this please I just gotta get it out#i hate tiktok with like my whole body#tiktok is such a cesspool I truly can’t wrap my head around it#and it’s such a shame because I think it can be a good place for some artistic videos and I love it for it#i love to see the aesthetic side of it the discovering cool music and all the actual art out of it#i love to see the way other people live specially in other cultures and I love watching makeup tutorials and stuff#and sure even the silly funny videos#but i do think people that are on it so much have actually become dumber#and like so reliable on ‘what’s trending now’ and so consumeristic and even like a bit narcissistic#and like so vain and it haunts me so much how people are just so openly pieces of shit excuses of a person#just so openly racist and fat phobic and every kind of awful person that you can imagine#and just how so full of hate some people are it truly disturbs me#like everything that’s wrong with people is just so common there#and so open to see even if you don’t want to#i think about deleting that app like every couple of days#and i never end up doing it because I know I’ll regret not being able to see all the good all the art and genuine nice stuff:/#anyway im not saying all people that use and like tiktok are bad of course I just get so overwhelmed every time I see the awful people#it like breaks my heart truly
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
👉🏽👈🏽
#I’m kinda nervous about our trip to universal now#I already knew it was going to be a lot of walking and that I’m going to be incredibly exhausting but hearing my best friend say it made me#a lot more nervous#the trip is for her cousin and I know she wants me there but I’m going to slow them down by a lot 🥹#they could get sooooo much done and a lot faster 🥺 I feel like I’m going to get so tired so quick because I AM fat and unhealthy and#she’s going to prioritize me and her cousin’s not going to have a good time#🥹 and then i mentioned that this summer I plan on walking laps around our city’s biggest park and they laughed#they as in my best friend and another friend and no not in a mean way no she wouldn’t ever#more of haha yep gotta prepare#but it still hurt a little because yeah#I do have to prepare#I need to get my body used to walking for long periods of time and I wanna lose a little big of my stomach so I don’t have to do the walk of#shame from the rides. the friend already said one of them isn’t for big girls 😭😭 I’m still gonna try it but I’ll need to be prepared to be#rejected#anyways im 🥹 sometimes I really wish I wasn’t me that I could have been born with a more socially acceptable body#I can’t even feel that way comfortably though because I am the way I am by my own fault#melifails
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
"if you keep stuffing your face like that you're going to get fat and die" "you should loose weight if you want to wear short shirts" how about you shut the fuck up and be normal for once
#mom try not to call your child a pig and shame her body challenge (impossible)#i cant tell if she's like that because asian culture or if she's just Like That#im not even fat btw. soft and squishy and lazy yes but im not fat??#not that fatness is a bad thing. but like. girl what
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
when u want to go to the gym to get ripped but mom is actively ignoring ur request for some fucking reason
#ignorelist#she scared i'll be more powerful than her#whats fucking mind boggling is that i literally requested it and made it clear that i WANT it and when i stop requesting it#she started shaming me for not exercising and becoming 'fat'#literally the most idiotic mom ever#and beside im not even fat she's just getting more insecure with her own body that she started to police her own kid body#ok i just wanna be ripped tbh#that's literally one of my goals because i think that would be so sexy of me#u know what fuck it im gonna start pestering her again to go to the gymm because i want to get ripped 😁😁😁
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
For all Ive said about nonhumanity being like transness... took me a hot minute to realise the dysphoria im having lmfao. no normal person this side of the galaxy is feeling grossly out of place in their own body because it settled naturally into a head, two arms, and two legs. Im not even thinking about species. This isnt an attempt to be something Im not, its a continuous "my brain isnt aligning with my body". I feel so intensely like Im being forced to appear like this in order to be respected/considered normal/not shunned or feared or otherwise repulsing those around me. god.
i hear my voice monotoned and string-instrument-esque and it sounds so unnatural. i see eyes and nose and mouth and all i can think is, even when i look like what humans would call completely inhuman, how human it is. Sorry. Four limbs and a head and standing upright? So human. Speech in a linear singular voice? So human. ugh. god.
#here's where i decide to let myself settle more naturally or keep forcing myself into a humanoid shape huh#~abyssal murmurs#I dont hate humans just like i dont hate women. But i look at my bodies and... physically all the ways im womanly invoke the#same feelings as looking at my astral bodies and all the ways im human. its so... its dysphoria lmfao its the exact same experience#its the exact same ''i expected to see something different. im not in the right body. theres no shame in my body but this isnt what i am#and i keep forgetting i am stuck in this form'' like. yeah biology does that#i love humans. but the intensely gross and out of control and ''i swear two minutes ago i wasnt this'' and so on feelings are...#Like its not ''humans are gross'' the gross feeling comes like nausea at being in a foreign body that doesnt align with who#you feel and know you are. My physical body?? If it was someone elses Id be attracted to it - actually I have proof of that lmfao -#and Id say theres nothing wrong with it. but its intensely not me in subtle ways. the way it grows fat and where. the roundness of features#the etc etc so-called feminine features. The way my astral body settles into human-like configurations...#ugh. god. coming back from being the almadia Im about ready to never take a fucking human form again - and thats the thing#its dysphoria as in i could be in a Considered Nonhuman Form like i said and still all i can feel and see are things im not even consciousl#thinking of. Ive been annoyed tonight about my understandings of reality coming from The Other Side Of The Galaxy - I am intensely#missing home. And like. theres a whole lot of. shit to deal with in regards to waking up as an incarnation#because you are not you. You are decidedly not you. The more you wake up to You the more you realise youve spent hundreds of thousands of#years vs 20 odd ones this life as something - im so tired man#im a force of change and dysphoria is a bane of my existence because its so tightly knotted into the strings of Cannot Control#its based on ''my own /body/. not my life. my /body/. my selfhood. is not in my control and will always be controlled by#other peoples opinions of it and they will always pilot it into boxes without my consent that i dont agree with because everyone else can#do with my body what they want and i can do nothing''#does every damn trauma and bad event in my life need to be underlined by rape trauma yes apparently so
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
what the actual Fuck just found out that caligula effect the game i started 3 years ago then gave up on because of the insanely shitty graphics and dungeons that are just the same shit repeated for infinity was made by fucking SATOMI TADASHI. WHAT THE FUCK. HOW DID THE GUY WHO MADE PERSONA 2 ALSO MAKE FUCKING CALIGULA EFFECT IM ACTUALLY IN SHOCK
#LIKE WHAT THE FUCK#WHAT#THE FUCK#the writing and characters in p2 are so fucking good#and somehow#the dungeons in p2 were like. a lot right#and the spawn rate was fucking insane#BUT CALIGULA EFFECT IS 20X WORSE LIKE#i just tried to play it again after again 3 years#and holy fuck#the ui is actual garbage as well like i get it was made with 2 pennies and a dream#but how the fuck#is a game from the 90s (p2) for the ps1 better than this#ALSO#mind you ive only played like. a couple of hours of this and am not gonna complete it because this game actually sucks#BUT#the amount of bigotry goes actually crazy which is so fucking#AGAIN how is p2 FROM THE 90s less bigoted than this recent game MADE BY THE SAME FUCKING GUY ???????????#like the fat shaming goes insane one of the girl main characters is always like#DAMN THAT GIRL IS FAT AS FUCK!!!!!! LMAO IMAGINE#like stupid shit like that#and like ok p2 had its moments . like every weirdly transphobic npc but also that was the 90s caligula effect is Now#SORRY IM JUST LIKE ACTUALLY IN AWE#dude i bought this game like Omg its like persona and vocaloid mixed my 2 favorite things#i have seen nothing online about how actually shit this game is so i have to say it dude#ANYWAYS#WHAT THE FUCK#laurence says things 🌌#my post 🔮#caligula effect
1 note
·
View note
Text
i need more of jiro in tlr2 because i think it would be good for uno to have a role model to show him how uncool it is to constantly pick on your brother
#he seemed to really want the approval of commander avallone so if he looks up to jiro in a similar way... i think it would be good for him#because clearly april casey-marie and moja telling him to stop has done nothing for at least 13 years lmao and he needs to be TOLD#now im not saying uno doesnt respect women. he has been raised in a matriarchal household so i don't think that's it#i do wonder if he feels the need to overcompensate because odyn is much bigger and stronger than him by showing aggression#he already knows moja would throw hands with him if he tries anything but he still has the height edge over her#and i'm sure yi has pulled a rise!don and accidentally invented a shock collar before so he knows not to fuck with her either#but odyn is just so sweet and kind and gentle and unbothered by any and all criticism and i think that really gets under uno's skin#i do wonder if turtle biology would make him act out more towards his brother than his sisters but i'd need to look into that some more...#anyway if jiro becomes a beloved family friend who is like 'hey kid fat-shaming your brother doesn't make you a man it makes you a jerk'#i dunno maybe just hearing it from someone outside of the family would help. he did seem embarrassed when tinker 2 found out lol#MAKE AN EXAMPLE OF HIM PLEASE!!#hopefully he's grown out of bullying his brother by tlr2 but i kinda doubt it since that's one of his most interesting character flaws#+ if they ARE going the route of making uno the leader having a leader who also moonlights as a bully is an interesting subversion to leo..
0 notes
Text
xx
[tw: ed; fat shaming]
#feeling awful rn#Lmao#“Just do it. Stop being unhealthy. You're so fat”#hahaha lmao yeah you've been reminding me that for like 5 years now#You think it helps??#My gosh.#“I'm saying this because I care for you. I don't want you to look ugly”#It's been 5 years. I wonder how that's working out lol#If i do get healthier its not because of you its because of me#because frankly your strategy is not at all helping#Like yeah constantly fat shame and criticize someone and call them ugly#and then get shocked when they believe it and get worse#I looked at my old photos#I wasn't even fat back then but I remember they alr called me out on gaining weight#And now here I am. And they're still calling me out on gaining weight. And it's gotten worse#I'm not obese im chubby but like yeah thats not an excuse and i self sabatoge and use eating as a coping mechanism#and i ate sm today#It's funny cause one time i was actually trying and making progress#Then they called me fat again and teased me abt it and my motivation just came cashing down#I hate it sm#ofc ill still continue trying to get better because yk gotta take care of myself and look pretty for myself#but these people are just...#i cant deal w this#one of my fam members came up on me just now and said im becoming obese#ty very much#your fucking criticisms have def helped me reach this point#“i care for you. I won't shut up about it until you lose weight”#can u just. like. get off my back.#when they're trying to motivate me but their so called motivations include teasing me and berating me and asking me why im fat 24/7#ty for your “motivation”
0 notes
Text
i have realized that my ranting in the reblogs can be classified as discourse. i would just like to say that i kinda wanna just. say thoughts i think. except for the shit that is actually about something serious i am fully aware i am a grouch and i dont care
#but just because i am “doom and gloom” does not mean i want to be in discourse. i think discourse is actually a big fat waste of time#speaking of doom and gloom hey can we like collectively tell 14 year old tiktokers to shut the fuck up#im kinda done with them#they thought that ruining safe spaces for people who struggle was a silly goofy idea#it was not a silly goofy idea. it really wasnt.#hey i dont like this generation in general its such a shame that i am an 08'er#i just realized im derailing so much of this
0 notes
Text
be still my heart — jjk [one]
the one in which you get a sex dream about the grouchy hockey player you work for.
genre : childhood best friends to frenemies to lovers, physical therapist!reader x hockey player!jungkook, slow burn, smut, fluff, angst
word count : 5.2k
chapter warnings : strong language, mature, slight smut (because im a tease), reader’s name is Destiny, jungkook is a bit grumpy towards her (she makes him nervous leave my boy alone), fat shaming (not by any of the main characters), oc had daddy issues, mentions of allergy. that’s about it, please let me know if i missed something.
a/n : here it isssssss drumrolls please because im so excited for this. jungkook as a hockey player??? *deep breaths* enjoy my lovely people. you’re so so loved. asks, reblogs and likes are much appreciated. kisses <3
read part two here
˚୨୧⋆。˚
“Babe, you know you're not going to win right? Don't be wasting your breath.” Bella challenges.
You’re sitting on the chair in your office going through the personnel file of the players. Verifying their names with their contact numbers and photographs which, you’re not going to lie, look like mugshots. Jeez, does smiling a little bit cost them? Anyways, once you’re done you close the file and look up at your assistant bickering with her boyfriend. Phone pressed against her ear.
You mime hanging up the call and she lifts her index finger, indicating for you to wait. She throws in words like hmmm, yeah, you don’t know what you’re saying, yeah i love you too. Once she’s done, she drops the phone on the glass table in front of you and leans back in her chair.
“He thinks I will let him get away with anything just because I love him”
You chuckle, “What’s going on?”
“You know, I’ve been wanting a cat for so long I even made a pinterest board for that. Last Sunday he surprised me with one and when I told him that I lowkey manifested it, he was not having it. I even showed him the mood board and I NEVER show it to anyone. Evil eye is real.” she all but cries out.
That’s Bella for you. Highly spiritual and a firm believer of the universe. She claims that everything happens for a reason. She’s like a little ball of sunshine. Ever since you joined the Ice Dominators’ hockey team as a physical therapist, she’s been assisting you and you couldn’t be more thankful seeing the lack of female workers here. Seriously, there's no other female worker here except yourself and Bella which is so diabolical to you.
And it’s not like the men on the hockey team are a bunch of misogynist jerks. On the contrary, they act like they’ve known you for years. It didn't take you long to feel like home here. They are obedient, friendly and pretty nice. Few of them are married with kids while the rest of them remain single. They’re not like a bunch of teenagers, they know what they’re doing.
Except one, what’s his name? Jeon Jungkook. You would describe that man as crude and closed off to a pathological degree. You still remember when you asked him to come to your office so you can look at any possible previous injuries, he lied to your fucking face. Claiming he doesn’t have any when you could clearly see him hobbling sometimes just a tiny bit when he walked away. Years and years of dedication towards your studies have made you capable enough to catch that it is an old injury.
Despite your better judgment, you blamed it on the fact that his team lost the game that day. Poor guy was having a bad day and took it out on you. Big deal.
“Earth to Destiny” Bella waves a hand close to your face and you shake your head as you look at her.
“Leave the poor man alone” You plead and then ask, “Any details about the new player? I’ll have to add it in the file”
“Not yet, as far as I know they’re still contemplating the guy named Park Jimin or something”
That gets you real quick. Park Jimin. The name feels like acid on your tongue .The last game being unsatisfactorily resulted in the federation trading one of the players. It was cruel but was done for the better. Bound to happen sooner or later. You had expected it but what you had not expected was you both sharing a same room, sharing the same air.
“Alright then. We’ll cross that bridge when it’s—”
Knock, knock
“Miss Kim, sorry to interrupt but the manager is asking for you” Taehyung’s head pokes through the door.
You stand, picking up the file and sliding it into the tableside drawer, running a free hand over your scrubs. Bella does the same as she plucks her phone from the table and puts it inside her back pocket.
You look at him. “Sure Tae, thank you for informing”
He flashes you a quick, pretty smile before leaving. Bella turns to you with a worried look on her face.
“What do you think it is for?”
You bite your lip. “I have no idea. I wanna say it's about the new player but who knows?”
You hope it is and as unfortunate as it is for you to discuss him, you will have to hold your own. You know better than to be invited into the manager’s office. Though, judging by the temperament of him you would not predict anything. Last time when he called you, it was about Jeon Jerk, asking you to be more serious about your job as if it was your fault the man spared you the necessary details.
The asshole asked YOU to do your job better by virtue of HIS player not being sweet enough to listen. Maybe, there is indeed a misogynistic asshole going around and it’s the manager. No wonder women don’t volunteer to work for him.
Since, You love your job —god knows you wanna keep doing it— you kept quiet and took every jab he threw at you.
“Wait, Do I have time to pray? Should I pray?” she’s clearly panicking and you pat her on the shoulder.
“Just hope my job is still intact” you say, warily reaching for your purse. You both head out.
˚୨୧⋆。˚
“Miss Kim, have a seat” James nods at the chair before him.
Once you’re settled, he continues, “I asked for you to join me here regarding the upcoming game. Care to fill in about the status of injury assessment?"
You clear your throat, “Absolutely, I was planning on getting on that today”
“Well, I would love for you to do it soon as you know we have a new player in the team with us now”
You jerk, leaning forward. “We do?”
“Yes, and if you can please hurry with the assessment I would be grateful. You can do that right? Not too much of a work for you, eh?”
Someone give him a medal from the way he's trying to hide the venom in his voice.
“Sure I can” you give him a firm nod.
James Adams is an entitled, self centered asshole who thinks he’s above everyone else just because of his position. You reckon he does anything for the team besides talking bullshit. He kind of reminds you of your dad who also has the nasty habit of thinking the world of himself.
You’re all about self love but when that self love turns into chronically demeaning everybody in their close proximity, it boils your blood. This man in front of you is no better than your father. What's that saying? Out of the frying pan into the fire.
So you say nothing further and excuse yourself. You would have barfed in his face if you stayed there a second longer. Actually that's not a very bad idea. Bella is standing outside waiting for you as you close the door behind yourself.
“What did he say?”
You bark, “Bunch of horseshit”
“Typical”
˚୨୧⋆。˚
Jungkook
There is a buzzing noise somewhere around Jungkook. Fuck, his head hurts. He frantically searches for his phone, still not opening his eyes. When he finds it, he slides his thumb on the screen and picks up the call.
“Dude, how big do you want your coffin to be?” He loves his best friend but right now he would rather be sleeping than listen to him bark in his own ear.
He finally squints his eyes open, “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Have you looked at the time?” says Taehyung.
“What time- FUCK!!!” he shrieks as he looks at the clock.
Somebody kill him right now. No wait, he’s gonna die either way so why bother. If he didn’t scream loud enough before, he does now. He all but jumps off the bed when he sees the blondie on the other side sleeping like she fucking owns it, wearing nothing but a thong. She must have heard him malfunctioning because soon she stirs, groaning as she slowly wakes up like a Disney princess. Who the heck is she and how did she get in here? Then it comes to him.
“Please Jungkook just take me to your room and fuck me. Show me what those hockey hands are capable of.”
He wants to swallow a fistful of iron nails. Speaking straight from his shoulders, he has made plenty of bad decisions throughout his career and this is not his first time bringing a puck bunny up to his room but it has never come to this. Missing his hockey practice because he was too exhausted to get his sweet ass up and run to the academy.
Taehyung screams from the other side of the line, “Are you there? Hello?”
Shit, he forgot he was on a call.
“I’ll be there soon. Cover for me until then.” With that he presses the red circular button and ends the call with him muttering some curses.
He glances back at the blondie, “Why are you not gone yet?”
She’s looking at him with those fuck me eyes she had last night but right now when he’s well aware of the fact that he’s in hot water, they don’t do shit to him. Coach will have his head on a platter today for sure. Honestly, they wouldn’t have done shit to him if it was not for the great deal of alcohol last night.
“I thought of you as a morning sex person” she twirls a strand of hair with her finger, sitting up now. Her tits hang free and he can see his hickeys decorating her chest.
He wants to laugh. She’s not even close to his type. His type is the woman in blue scrubs with her brunette hair slicked back in a ponytail. His type is the woman who looks like she could be watching grass grow rather than to look at him. His type is the woman who walks into a room and lights it up. His type is the woman who is too bright for him and his mundane personality, who has a face worth millions. His type is Kim Destiny.
“No need to waste your precious time thinking about me. You can go”
He places his phone back on the table and saunters over to the bathroom, not bothering looking back at her. He has boundaries and he intends to keep it that way.
He quickly goes through his routine of taking a shower, making a cup of coffee, sliding into a pair of sweatpants and the Ice Dominator’s jersey with his name on the back. Not in that order, of course.
The girl is thankfully gone by the time he finishes. Once he’s done with his coffee he picks up the car keys and a protein bar from the kitchen counter and heads to the academy hoping his limbs remain intact by the time he’s home.
The Academy is bustling as usual with players keeping themselves busy with hockey and their gym sessions. He heads straight for the rink not even bothering to change into the uniform. He needs to see for himself that everybody is still on the ice. Everything comes after that.
Surprisingly, he sees not a single guy when he reaches there. His heartbeat stops.
“Hey Pixie, where are the boys? Did they already leave?” he asks the brunette kid who looks like he just saw a ghost. Or it’s just Jungkook who he saw.
He shakes his head, “They’re all in the gym. The doc called them earlier, said she had something important to get done with them”
Jungkook gives him a quick thanks and walks towards the gym. What could be so important that she had to call the boys mid practice? Is someone hurt? Is she hurt? His heart leaps in hid throat as he runs. Fuck, please let him be wrong.
The first thing that he sees as he enters the room full of equipment are his teammates. Taehyung and Yoongi are in the corner lifting weights, Namjoon is using the treadmill as he runs on it. The rest of the boys are all scattered around doing their own thing. He still can’t find Destiny anywhere but her assistant, Bella, is talking to Namjoon while holding a file so he lets out a sigh, relieved that nobody is in fact hurt and in need of help.
“Do you wanna get a tattoo on the peni— oh look who’s here. Jeon Jungkook as I live and breathe.”
Taehyung drops the weight on the ground before walking up to him. He’s dressed in a black tee and sports shorts. The man looks good in everything. Bet he’d look in a sack too.
“Whoa!! Why do you look like you wanna kill somebody or wanna get killed? Is everything okay?”
Jungkook lets his face relax, focusing more on the eyebrows which had gone tensed due to his unnecessary anxiety. “Yeah, all’s good. The practice ended early?”
“The practice ended just on time. It’s you who’s late” he pats my shoulder.
He runs his fingers through his hair and walks towards the bench, dropping his bag on it. Taehyung follows him ignoring Yoongi who’s calling him back for the weightlifting.
“Doc wanted to assess our injuries for the last time before our game if you’re curious which, I know you are. You’re always curious about her”
He winks at Jungkook and he punches him on the chest. Taehyung laughs as he rubs the spot.
“Keep your voice down, will you?”
Bella’s voice echoes across the room, “Jeon, you’re up next”
He takes out his water bottle, takes a swig and stands. A wince leaves him as he gets a flashback of the last time he had to face her. It didn’t go very well and he’s sure she hates him now. He would too. After all, he not only talked to her rudely but also lied through his teeth about his injury. It’s pretty old so he had not felt the need to mention it.
He sees a guy coming out of the office just before he’s about to enter. He has brown hair long enough to reach the nape of his neck. Even from where Jungkook’s standing, he can say the man doesn’t reach above his shoulders. Who the fuck is he? Oh wait, he must be the new player that got traded down here. The guy must have sensed him making a hole through his head by the way he’s staring because he’s begins walking towards him with a bright grin.
“Hey man, you must be Jeon Jungkook? Heard a lot about you. I’m Park Jimin” He holds out his hand, asking Jungkook to shake it and he gives it a firm handshake. Word to the wise : never give someone a weak handshake. His grandfather has been asking him to do that ever since he was 15, said it doesn’t leave a strong impression and he’s be lying if he says he was wrong.
He offers Jimin a nod, “Nice to meet you. Excited to get on the rink with you.”
He takes his hand back. “Oh the feeling is mutual but—”
“Jungkook, please join me inside”
Destiny’s voice cuts him off as she looks over to both of them with an eerie expression on her face. Her eyes bounce between them, resting a second longer on Jimin. Does she know him? Do they have a history? Wait, are they a thing? Even if they are, why does it bother him? Jungkook couldn’t care less about the pretty physical therapist who wears her blue scrubs like armor and white crocs with strawberries on them.
He gives Jimin another nod and follows her into the office. Although, he’s not sure if a massage table and a stool resting beside it counts as an office. The room which she works in is much better. This one is just for examinations and massage therapy so he guesses it doesn’t need that much of an upgrade.
She gestures towards the table, “Please sit”
He says nothing and settles himself up, clearing his throat.
“Look I know we got off on the wrong foot last time and it could have gone so much better, but we can still start over right?”
Destiny takes a deep breath, filling her chest with air. She’s wearing her hair in a bun today. It sits at the top of her head and some strands are set loose cascading down her face. God, she’s pretty.
He looks down and back up at her. “Sure”
Her face shows her annoyance with the one word response. He doesn't blame her. He'd be pissed too.
She’s quiet for a moment, “Why don’t you tell me about your knee injury to start with?”
“What are you talking about?”
She sighs, “You know what I’m talking about Jungkook. Please don’t make me work for it. It’s my job to know about your past and present injuries, if any. The manager has already given me crap about it”
He freezes. His hackles rising and his relaxed face long gone.
“What did he say?”
“Nothing”
He levels her with a stern face, “What.did.he.say?”
She’s not obligated to answer him. Hell, she could just slap him in the face and leave but he needs to know what went down with that son of a bitch. When and if she decides to let him in the details and it turns out something wicked, he’s gonna hunt that man down and make his life miserable.
Much to his surprise, she takes a step back and starts talking. "He called me in his office today and," she halts,
"Well let's just say there were some words thrown around which clearly meant he thinks of me as a feather brained bitch"
He might look unbothered from outside but the indignation inside him could just about burn the whole city down. He tries to keep calm and pries some more.
His jaw clenches. "What else?"
Destiny shakes her head, shuffling on her feet. “Jungkook it’s really not that seriou—”
“It is serious. You work for us, you tolerate our asses and in return if we fail to give you the respect which, you deserve by the way cause it’s the bare minimum, we might as well save everyone’s time and money by giving all of this up.”
“Why do you care?” she shakes her head.
He takes a step forward, “Because you— Because you work for us, Destiny. You look out for our bodies, our injuries, our fuckups. Is that not enough?”
She barely reaches his shoulders. It’s cute how she has to crane her neck up in order to look him in the eye. She keeps looking at him for a long minute, searching his face.
“You think I don’t know that? Do you really think I don’t have what it takes to ask for my own dignity?”
He takes a long step back. This conversation was as unforeseen as they come. The room gets filled with heavy silence and he can hear Destiny’s heavy breath. He can tell she’s trying to calm herself as if his words have blindsided her.
Needless to say she’s a tad bit taken aback. Jungkook would be too if someone who never bothered to speak a word to him and when he did, there was nothing pleasant about his tone suddenly started to care.
But that’s where she’s wrong, nothing about his care or concern for her is sudden. He still remembers the day she accidentally drank the almond smoothie Bella brought not knowing the fact that she’s allergic to it. She’d started choking the second it went down her throat. He also remembers how Yoongi injected the epipen against her thigh as she came back to life.
Meanwhile, he stood behind shaking in his goddamn boots. Too scared to let her out of his sight and too pathetic to hold her close. Yeah, he’s not proud of that.
He sighs, “You know that’s not what I meant—”
Namjoon walks inside with a hand towel around his neck “Doc, you about done? The boys are being incorrigible over there. If you don’t hurry, one of them is gonna call a tattoo artist and get their dick tattooed. Right here”
The room falls silent.
“Jesus” she looks over to where the guys are bickering about something, propping her hands on her hips. “Yeah, give me a minute.”
“Sure” and with that he walks away.
She picks up a blue file from the stool, not looking at him. Why is she not looking at him?
“If you don’t want to tell me about your injury right now, that’s fine. Since, I know it’s pretty old and It’s unlikely that you’re gonna get affected by it in the upcoming games, there’s no need to worry. However, I would still suggest you be careful. Anything can happen out there and your knee is in a vulnerable position. Don’t pick unnecessary fights, don’t let the opponent know your weak link.”
She glances at him, dropping the file back to where it was.
“You can go”
Without a preamble, he heads outside, passing Taehyung. He hears him cracking a joke about penis tattoos and piercings with his girlfriend’s name on it. Destiny cracks up and Jungkook wonders if she would have done the same, had he been the one cracking the joke. Only, he doesn’t crack jokes. Not around her at least. It’s not like he's some grumpy bastard who wants nothing to do with anybody around him and thinks of him as omniscient.
There’s just something about Destiny which puts him at loss of words. Knotting his tongue it in such a way where he can’t get an expression out. Only look at her and god, does he look at her. He's not stupid. He knows it’s a crush but she’s like a mirage to him. She’s unreachable, forbidden and so fucking beautiful.
Does he want to make her his? Yes, Is he going to risk his career and hers over it? Absolutely not. So, he makes use of the only right nobody can take away from him. Not even her. Admire her from afar. Fantasize more about tasting her, licking her slender neck and worshipping the ground that she walks on and one day if she lets him, Jungkook will do anything to turn all of that into reality.
He finds Yoongi seated on of the benches, scrolling on his phone.
Facing him, Jungkook speaks in a low voice. "Do you have any idea where James is?"
˚୨୧⋆。˚
Destiny
Never have you ever wanted to run away as much as you did when you saw Jimin in front of yourself, standing all tall and proud. You had wished it to be a dream, wished you just had a nightmare about him joining the same team you happen to work with but reality is a goddamn bitch and it bites hard when it does. He had grown out his hair longer but he still has the same smile, same eyes and the same charm he used on you back then. Park Jimin is a man people don’t ever forget once they see him. He has an aura which traps everyone so hard they can never escape. How do you know? You have been a victim yourself.
You meticulously go through the consequences and eventualities of being in the same room as him again. You seeing him everyday and him reminding you of every single detail you have tried so hard forgetting about, the boys finding out about you both and putting you through the wringer or worse, him. The possibilities are endless and you feel the sudden urge to square everything with him.
Contrary to what you had thought, he reacted pretty normally when he saw you as if somebody had already told him about you. You had expected him to get shocked or at the very least pretend to be shocked.
Having said that, he just gave you a single nod as if you're someone he passes by every morning at the park. Are you this forgettable? Are you someone people just brush aside like that? Your father’s words echo in your ears like loud drums,
“You know, nobody will love you if you keep looking like this. Eat less”
“Girl, do you ever stop eating? Every time I see you, you're stuffing something in that mouth of yours!!”
“Don’t come running back at me when no guy gives a shit about you”
You were 10 and he was an asshole. He still is.
Thanks to him, you now have a tendency to cook when you're stressed over anything. It brings you comfort and diverts your mind from the excessive overthinking. You would go bald if it puts the voices into silent mode.
After already wasting half of your life speculating what to eat, counting calories and whatnot, you came to the terms that you can’t actually operate that way and began eating whatever the fuck you wanted. Yet still, you need to go a long way in order to fully love yourself and your body. It's a journey and you're moving ahead step by step. One day at a time.
One would even say you're hot. You have received compliments from several people over the course of time except you don’t have a thigh gap, your arms jiggle and you also happen to have a love handle. You would have adored them if it wasn’t for your dad making you feel shitty about having them.
A knock on your door stops you midway as you're kneading the dough. Biscuit runs over to you, jumping on the counter.
“Coming”
The knock comes back again, this time slightly louder.
“Oh my god wait I’m coming”
The door swings open and you gasp. “Mina?”
She passes by you, dragging her suitcase along with her.
“Hey bestie”
You close the door and follow her further into the hall. “What’s going on? What’s with the suitcase?”
Your best friend’s sudden arrival must have caught you by slight surprise but your cat is rather pleased to see her. Traitor. She starts clawing at her feet excitedly.
“What a good girl you are? Yes, you are” Mina coos at her and then glances up at you from where she has biscuit nestled in her lap,
“I need a place to live for a few days because my shitty boss kept rejecting all my articles and I really wanna bring her something worth the front page. Apparently, writing about the famous coffee shop around the corner and their secret ingredient being maple syrup wasn’t good enough.”
You round the counter and continue kneading the dough for your strawberry pie. It’s not unlikely for Mina to show up unannounced. In fact, she has done that plenty of times but the suitcase was never involved. This one is new.
“So you decided to barge in here without even asking?” You tease.
She flashes you a dramatic look. “Look at us, Destiny. Aren’t we the same girls who giggled about living together after college? With matching slippers and movie marathons?”
“Okay okay you dramatic bitch. How long are you here for?”
Biscuit runs to do her business and she gets up, setting her suitcase to the side.
She sighs, “Not sure. As long as it takes me to come up with a new topic to write about–HEY— why don’t I just write on the hockey team you work with? What are they called? Ice…ice”
“Ice Dominators” you fill in for her.
She slaps her thigh. “That’s the one”
You shrug, “I mean you can, but you’ll have to call in on the coach first. He operates everything inside and outside the team”
Coach Ian is too nice to turn her request down. He’s one of the most genuine people in the federation. Maybe this is why the team is so strong and united. He respects every single boy and receives it tenfold. It's a mutual thing.
“Shit, How come I didn’t think about that” she bites her lip, her enthusiasm replaced by nervousness.
“Don’t worry. He won’t make you work for it. Ian is as nice as they come” you assure.
She takes a deep breath and lets it out. As you watch, she opens your fridge, taking out the box of frozen blueberries and pops one into her mouth.
“Do you want me to give you a hand?” she mumbles while chewing.
You point towards the bathroom, “Go and take a shower, right now. You stinky”
You duck the blueberry she throws your way, laughing as you do. Giving your cheek one last kiss, she excuses herself.
˚୨୧⋆。˚
Warm hands roam over your thigh, squeezing them. You muffle your moan with your palm and take every thrust.
“Yeah, you like that? You like how I’m pounding into this ass right now?”
You gasp.
“Such a good girl” he praises.
The man behind you presses a kiss to your naked shoulder as he rasps in your ears, “Were you walking around all day dripping for me?”
He pulls his cock out and thrusts again. You meet him with equal passion and hunger.
“Tell me”
You nod.
“I need your words, Destiny”
You cry out, “Yes Oh god, Yes. I wanted you in me so bad”
He cups your pussy and rubs your clit with his palm until you're rolling your eyes to the back of your head and squirming. Thrust after thrust he brings you to your sweet release while talking dirty things in your ear. You're about to melt into a puddle of goo. He’s got you totally at his mercy.
“So beautiful like this. Taking my cock so well huh?”
“Ahh it feels so good, right there. Just right there, don’t stop”
He bites down your shoulder, “Come for me and let everyone outside hear the name you’re screaming, you dirty whore”
Your heartbeat picks up as you squeeze him with the tight ring of muscle, orgasm crashing over.
“FUCK. Oh my god Jungkook!!”
Your eyes fling open and you sit up so fast your head starts spinning. Everything around you is pitch black. Wait, where am you?
Mina is at your side in an instant, “Destiny, are you okay babe?”
You look around and release a sigh of relief. You run your fingers through your hair, ruffling them.
“Yeah um… I’m fine. It was just a bad dream. Go back to sleep.”
Except it wasn’t. It was one hell of a dream where you were getting fucked into oblivion by your player. You're not even going to lie and say that you didn’t like it. C’mon you're a woman of needs, it’s just that, him fulfilling those needs was not on the cards for you even if it wasn't real.
You check the time on your phone and wince at the bright light flashing up at you. It’s 2:45 am and you just had a back breaking sex dream about a man who you want nothing to do with. Who, as beautiful as he is, annoys the hell out of you with those one word replies and grumpy face. An edgy feeling threatens to rise.
Oh god it’s going to be awkward now. It’s only normal to walk on eggshells around someone people have these sort of dreams about. You have read your fair share of books where the female character gets a sex dream about a man and then they don’t talk to each other for the rest of their lives. Okay, that's a bit of a stretch but it might as well not be.
Yeah, you admit you guys don’t talk to each other a lot as it is, or are longtime best friends tiptoeing around their feelings, but you're afraid you're gonna have to ignore him forever for the sake of your own sanity.
I’m so fucked. You think.
tags - @httpjeonlicious @lovingkoalaface @rpwprpwprpwprw
#jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jungkook fanfic#bts#jungkook scenario#jungkook smut#jungkook scenarios#jungkook x you#bts x reader#jungkook imagine#bts scenario#bts fanfic#bts scenarios#bts smut#bts jungkook#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook drabble#jungkook series#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook oneshot#fluff
2K notes
·
View notes