#(she likes to recall that. i think she sometimes misses that kid too)

[kodyzzz]

a recent encounter in the wild of a person i used to be friends in primary school, really made me think about how much has changed since then. because that friend is the same as i remember them, in the best meaning of that sentence, and im just. well💀

[jjk4isen]

ꗃ 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃, 𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 .

❝ answer me. did you think of her when you're in bed with me? when you're kissing me and holding me— was she the one on your mind? ❞

summary: it's hard knowing you aren't really the person in toji's heart but loving him was something you still did regardless. as for toji, he thinks he's ready to give you his all.

desc: 2.8k words, f!reader (referred to as ‘mama’), canon compliant i think, takes place after mamaguro's death and before toji’s, age gap (early 20s reader, early 30s toji), baby gumi ahhhhh, sfw, angst to fluff to angst again lol, intended lowercase, think you're tsumiki’s mom but without tsumiki bc the relations would be too complicated and also the second wife erasure in the canon storyline?? yeah it's reserved specifically for this fic, not proof read i fear but pls read it's really interesting i can swear by it lmaoqhdhns

dating a widowed man with a son wasn't easy especially when the said man is still in love with his former wife, or rather, his wife who had died.

love is often beautiful but sometimes it's unfair. it can also be cruel. what other reason would make you still stay despite knowing you'll never measure upto the person who had been here before you?

and you've heard stories about her. she was sweet, so beautiful— not just in her appearance but her entire being was beautiful. there always was an ache in your heart upon just the mention of her name.

so how much more would it have ached for toji?

“mama” the spiky haired boy, barely two years old calls you and you realise the silence in the room. “not mama, i’m nana okay?” sick.

nana. not mama but close enough. it doesn't matter anyway, n and m are just letters and next to each other so how much difference would that make? you're the one that's here after all, are you not?

if there's a lump in your throat and your eyes are burning with unshed tears, you force yourself to ignore.

“okay nana” megumi nuzzles his face into your chest, slowly drifting away to sleep. the boy always liked cuddling with you and it melts your heart immensely.

your hands strand through his dark hair. people always said he's the carbon copy of his dad but you'd like to differ. megumi has his mother's eyes and his hair resembled hers more than it did his dad's.

the thought sends another ache in your chest but you push it away– as you always have.

you recall the last time toji had heard megumi call you “mama”. you had never seen toji that livid. he was never a gentle man to begin with but that night, there was nothing else you've been more scared of.

was he like that to his wife? maybe not.

does that matter though? it's not like toji treats you badly. he's decent and loves you an enough amount. you weren't crazy enough to stay when you're not wanted so that must mean you were something to him right?

you also recall the whispers of pity and condemnation thrown at you for just being with toji. him being a brute is one thing but the difference in age is what people seem to have a problem with. you're so much younger than him and have your whole life ahead of you so why are you entrapping yourself this way?

you disagree though. love doesn't know any age and you definitely aren't naive to be head over heels over a guy just because he's relatively older. no, this was real and genuine.

a faint knock disrupts your train of thoughts. “he sleepin’?” toji nods towards the small boy in your arms and you nod back in return.

taking care not to wake the sleeping kid, you slowly pry his hands away from you and pull over a blanket to cover his small body.

when you make your way towards toji, he wastes no time in pulling you closer “missed you” he mumbles, placing a kiss onto your forehead and suddenly all thoughts plaguing your mind disappears. that's all you could ask for, even if it was just for a moment.

“i missed you more” you whisper back, he only huffs out an amused chuckle.

“got bad news though” a frown finds itself on his lips, decorated by a single scar next to it.

“did you lose all your money again?” toji was a gambling addict, another thing you forced yourself to tolerate just for him.

“sorry, doll. thought i’d win this time” he rubs small circles on your back comfortingly and it makes you a bit uneasy to know that he has his way with you so easily.

“it's alright. i’ll just find another part time job”

“so good to me” toji pulls you into his chest and you let out a sigh— of exhaustion? relief? you couldn't really tell but that's not important, toji had you in his arms.

“i’ll try and think of something too. don't worry your pretty little head too much” he lifts you up with ease. while you're in his arms, you feel the safest.

toji really felt bad this time. he was confident he would win but that stupid horse had to trip and lose its lead, ending up last of all places. he knows luck never favoured him but that's didn't stop him from trying again and again and again.

he also knows how you didn't say anything more than necessary about it but he isn't that much of an idiot either. he sees how your expression falters and your shoulders slump a little more when he comes home with another news of his gambling loss.

this is also why he tries, or rather, tried to quit — one too many times, unbeknownst to you. however, old habits die hard and most of the time (everytime) toji gives into his urge and loses yet again. the cycle keeps happening.

maybe this isn't just about gambling.

with the way you're asleep so soundly next to him after putting his son to sleep and taking care of him too, he is overcomed with yet another feeling to be better for you and megumi alike.

toji isn't a gentle man; everyone knows that, you do too — even more than anybody else but he can't help the familiar pool of warm feelings surging through him the longer he stares at your peaceful state.

he remembers the last time he felt it, with another person. it felt like a lifetime ago.

he also remembers how painful it was when he lost it — the person, the feeling altogether. his hands that were making their way to caress your face stops mid air.

toji knows you deserve so much better. you've been nothing but patient to him, so amazing, so perfect to him. still, he just can't do it yet, just not yet.

he will eventually, he hopes you stay until then.

toji wakes up to an empty bed and his heart sinks a little but the creases and wrinkles on the sheets serve as a reminder that you were really here.

he makes his way towards the kitchen, only finding megumi sitting on a chair next to the dining table.

“hey kid, where's your mama?”

toji freezes. it came out so naturally he didn't realise he said it himself and almost thinks he didn't but megumi's wide eyes prove that he actually did.

“m…mama?” megumi says hesitantly and toji nods this time. “yes, your mama”.

“potty potty!” megumi points to the bathroom and giggles, toji follows suit. the man crouches to his son's eye level and pats his head.

“you love your mama, kid?” toji sees megumi's eyes sparkle as the boy nods enthusiastically “very very much!!”

“yeah? i love your mama too.”

toji smiles to himself, he can't wait to tell that to you.

the next time toji got his pay, he finds himself hesitating. instead of heading towards the race tracks, his feet takes him to a jewellery store.

instead of picking out a slot and testing his luck, he picks out a ring. it's not fancy by any means but he thinks it would be the most beautiful band of metal to exist if it slides into your ring finger.

the tiny ring carries all the heavy feelings he has for you.

──

it was one particular evening when you saw an old man lingering by the front gate. its particular because the warm sunset and the soft cool breeze contrasted the ground breaking truth you find out.

“can i help you?” you ask the old man who looks at you up and down, not making an attempt to hide his distaste of your sight.

“is this where toji zenin lives?” he stares down at you with his scrutinising gaze; it makes you feel small.

“zenin?” you ask, confused. is he referring to toji? but his last name is fushiguro is it not?

“yes toji zenin. i heard he has a son as well. you're not the mother are you?”

is it that obvious? you wonder how the old man figured it out. regardless, you're not about to give him his answers so you stood your ground.

“i’m sorry i don't know what you're talking about.” you turn around, about to head inside when his words make you stop short.

“are you fushiguro?”

that's toji’s last name isn't it? not zenin or whatever he called it. so why is he asking you that? is he implying that you're married to toji?

“no. you have the wrong person.”

“why? did he say not to get involved with anyone from his clan?” the old man draws closer, chucking to himself. you're just there unmoving, trying to comprehend the situation and the words coming from his mouth.

“or did he not tell you that either? did he tell you anything at all?” he stands tall in front of you, tearing away bits of yourself with every word he says.

“when he returns, tell him the clan wants to propose him an offer. you can do that much at least won't you?”

…

and when toji comes home that night with the ring cluched tightly in his fist and inside the pocket of his white pants, the world stills.

he finds you in a state he has never seen you before. you look completely and utterly defeated.

“hey, what's wrong?” his hands come to caress your face so effortlessly, the ring and prior nervousness long forgotten.

“talk to me what's going on?” he looks around and the house seems emptier than usual. your laundry that were usually hanging with his were gone.

your small trinkets you placed around the house to “make it more lively” were nowhere to be found.

and there's a bag in the corner of the room which toji prays and hopes he isn't what he thinks it is.

your hands push away his own that were cupping your face. you're not even looking at him.

“say something damn it!”

you flinch and toji takes a step back. he recalls the last time you trembled in fear — when he got mad megumi called you his mom. he punishes himself for it.

“im sorry. please talk to me.” he isn't touching you now but he wants to. he wants to reach out and pull you close, as he always had done. but now there's an unbearable silence and the small distance between you both felt like lightyears away.

“who's zenin” your voice was meek, barely a whisper but toji's eyes widen. how did you find out about that?

no fuck that, he was supposed to be the one telling you. in his own time.

“i can explain” was all that came out of him. he's nervous, he doesn't know where to start. there's a lot of information to unpack and he's not sure how to do it without hurting you too much.

when he doesn't elaborate, you ask another “who's fushiguro then?” your voice falters a bit and toji curses himself for it.

but he's done running away and keeping things from you. “my… my late wife” he says wryly.

your eyes close and a shaky breath leaves your body, as if he just confirmed your worst suspicions. damn life is so funny isn't it? everything you thought you knew apparently wasn't what it seemed to be after all.

opening them again, your vision blurs and you realise tears were escaping your eyes. fuck you didn't want to cry now of all times but they won't stop.

and the way toji was looking at you, it makes you want to throw up.

“i must've been so stupid to you” you let out a humourless chuckle. “did you pretend im her?”

your gaze was sharp and so were your words. maybe all your bottled up feelings were resurfacing. it doesn't make you feel better about it but that doesn't stop you though.

“answer me. did you think of her when you're in bed with me? when you're kissing me and when you're holding me, was she the one on your mind??” your voice was loud now. you should be afraid of waking up megumi who you cradled to sleep just a few hours ago but no, your thoughts are too clouded right now.

toji sighs. he has no excuse.

“i used to” he actually looks ashamed as if he wasn't the one who did it purely out of his will.

your scoff makes him wince “but not anymore.”

his words fall on deaf ears “you know… i knew you did. but i stayed regardless because i thought there would be a chance that maybe one day, you could open up your heart to me. im not even asking for all of it, just a little… i thought you'd let me in.”

you're blabbering and honestly, so distraught.

“but not a moment was there when it was me isn't it? it was always her in the first place.”

now toji should have said something, anything but he stays there planted in place. and maybe that was your breaking point.

you turn around, grabbing your bag and brushing past him towards the door. instead of holding onto you and stopping you, toji clutches the small box containing the ring — your ring in his pocket, almost crushing it in the process, as he hears the door slam.

you think it's funny how toji did not reach out after what happened. it's poetic even. very fitting of him, till the very end, he did not give two shits about you.

so then, why were you back here?

it's been four long years since the trajectory of your life changed. you still don't know if it was for the better or for the worse.

saying it has been hard would be an understatement. it took you a long time just to get back onto your own feet but you did it regardless. however, you left a part of you here long ago and now, you're here to take it back.

that and you missed megumi dearly. perhaps it was an excuse too because you won't deny a part of you still missed toji, despite everything that happened.

standing a few feet away from the place you used to call home, you hesitate.

maybe this was a bad idea. oh this was definitely a bad idea. you'll see them, and then what? what comes after that?

closure? don't make yourself laugh. you’ll just be reminded of how you couldn't be that person for toji— how you'll always come second. and what if they moved?? there's no reason they'd still be here right?

forget this, you don't need to do this. why must you still be the one who put effort? to reach out? four long years passed and still no news means they clearly moved on... right?

you were convinced enough and was about to go back when you saw little megumi carrying a backpack on his back, seemingly coming home from school.

your feet wouldn't move and your eyes wouldn't blink. he grew up so well.

the world pauses as your gaze follows the kid you used to consider your own, now as good as a stranger.

“do you know that kid?” a voice at your back makes you whip your head around. life really is full of surprises and this time, the surprise was in the form of a tall man, no a tall kid with white hair, looking at you curiously through his round tinted glasses.

“... no i don't” well you weren't exactly lying. you don't know the megumi you see now. perhaps if he asked whether you raised him since he was a baby till he was two, then your answer would've been different.

“oh okay” the boy shrugs. “poor guy though”

“why? whats up with him?” you turn to look at megumi again who was minding his business walking home and your heart aches a little.

“I'm here to recruit him. his dad died you see so he's–”

“wait what was that??”

“his dad. he's dead” the amused boy in front of you chuckles and you stare at him, horrified.

“what happened to him?” your voice was shaky and doesn't sound like your own. he leans down to meet your eye level and smirks “why? i thought you don't know that kid. why does that matter to you?”

your stomach churns as you stare at him, not even knowing what to say— the smug expression on his face only widens.

“so you do know him.”

'know' would be a weak word to use when it comes to toji. you knew of his habits, the simple things he does and also of the more complex ones — like the exact place his scar decorated his lips and how it felt to kiss it.

then again, you don't really know anything about him and maybe you never will.

and maybe that's really, the closure you needed.

[cherienymphe]

Teenage Dirtbag II (JJ Maybank x Reader x Rafe Cameron)

Warnings: NON-CON, DUB-CON, abusive relationship, domestic violence, violence (+ gun violence), gun kink, dacryphilia, attempted murder, mentions of blood, public sex, jealousy, manipulation, infidelity, underage drinking, drug use, canon ages, kook!reader

➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies | ➥ divider by @firefly-graphics

➥ series masterlist

summary: You’re charmingly spoiled. You’re too kind for your own good. You’re the princess of Figure 8 …and you’re way out of JJ Maybank’s league, but when he realizes that Rafe Cameron’s pride and joy is actually a bruised and battered damsel, he’s determined to save you.

Your rescue just comes with a price.

~

“Why was JJ even trying to give you some drink, anyway?”

You resisted the urge to sigh, anticipating such a question the moment the topic had swung back around to the party from last week. You kept your gaze on your lip gloss, dipping it once then twice before looking up into the mirror. You could hear Rafe pause in his movements, no doubt waiting for an answer, and this time you finally did heave a breath.

“I don’t know, Rafe. I told you this,” you said to him, turning to look at him as he sat on the edge of his bed.

You watched him study you, that blue gaze of his oh so unnerving, and you weren’t the least bit relieved when he simply hummed.

“I know,” he finally replied, tongue pressing to the inside of his cheek. “…but I have a right to wonder. Especially since you’ve never spoken to him a day in your life before that night.”

Rolling your eyes, you turned to swipe the sticky product over your lips, recalling that it was one of Rafe’s favorite shades. The conversation had the potential to slip into dangerous territory, derailing your entire night, and you mulled over your next words carefully.

“He was probably just trying to get a rise out of you,” you honestly murmured, looking at your boyfriend. “…and it worked.”

You merely shrugged at him as he scoffed.

“I mean, he’s way more familiar with you than me. Probably just wanted to piss you off.”

You turned the light off in his bathroom, making your way towards your shoes as you desperately hoped this conversation would come to an end soon. The topic of other men was one that rarely ended nonviolently, and you didn’t know how Rafe got it into his head that the antics of JJ Maybank had anything to do with you when everyone on this entire island knew how much they hated each other. A year ago, you barely even knew the other blonde’s name.

“Well, it worked,” Rafe confessed, coming over to help you put on your other shoe. “You’re too good to even be talking to trash like that, so yeah. It pissed me off.”

At the look on your face, Rafe continued, shaking his head.

“I know what you’re thinking, and you really don’t need to go around feeling sorry for guys like that. He’s not the down on his luck kid you think he is,” he advised, pulling you to your feet. “Him and all of Sarah’s little buddies are nothing but trouble.”

Rafe took his time telling you this, making sure you heard every word, and you only felt compelled to nod as he placed a brief kiss on your lips. Rafe swiped up your purse for you as he pulled you out of the room. You felt safer with Rafe in his house than you did in your own, but Ward’s careful eye on his son had never been foolproof. There’d been plenty of times Rafe gave you a sprained wrist or bruised jaw in his very own bedroom.

It's just that in his desire to be more careful within the Cameron household, he sometimes decided that it wasn’t even worth it.

“Where are you two off to?” Sarah wondered as you came face to face with her in the living room.

You hadn’t even known she was home, and when it became clear that Rafe wasn’t going to answer her, you did.

“To a movie.”

The smile you sent her was small, and she reluctantly returned it before settling her gaze on her brother. You didn’t miss the way her eyes narrowed, lips pursing a tad. They never got along, but considering recent events, you knew what this particular disagreement was about to be about.

“JJ’s nose is still pretty messed up, you know.”

At that, Rafe did finally acknowledge her, stopping to face her with a challenging look you knew all too well. He tilted his head to the side, one brow raised.

“That sounds like something that isn’t my problem,” he shrugged, and you softly told him that you needed to go in an attempt to avoid whatever this was, but he ignored you.

“God, you’re such an asshole, you know that? JJ just offered your girlfriend a drink and so you broke his nose? Yeah, ‘cause that makes sense,” Sarah murmured, shaking her head as she looked back down at her phone.

You squeezed Rafe’s arm, but he merely sneered at his sister.

“JJ’s a little shit who likes to look for trouble wherever he goes. Not my fault he found it,” Rafe spat, pulling you along before Sarah could reply.

His quiet disposition and tight grip on your hand told you how annoyed he was at Sarah’s reminder of JJ and that night, and you mentally wondered if this was going to be a little thing or something that affected your whole night. Maybe even the next one too. He said nothing when he helped you into his truck, and so you were unsurprised that he was quiet his whole way to the movie too.

You were thankful this was the date of choice because it was easier to ignore Rafe’s mood when your eyes were glued to the screen. In fact, there were moments you forgot he was even there, giggling to whatever was going on in front of you. Once the movie was over, however, Rafe’s uncharacteristic silence was hard to ignore.

Knowing that you’d regret it, you finally spoke up when you made it back to his truck.

“I feel like you’re mad at me for some reason.”

It sounded silly to your ears, but then again, you knew your boyfriend like the back of your hand, and as little sense as it made, you had the sneaking suspicion that he put some blame with you somehow.

“Not mad,” he murmured, and you simply looked at him.

His gaze and the tightness in his jaw said otherwise, and despite his evident annoyance, he still claimed otherwise. He was silent as he opened your door—his irritation growing the longer you stared at him—and when he blinked, straightening, you finally slid inside. You weren’t surprised to have the door slammed in your face, and you could only sigh when he joined you.

The first few minutes of the drive were as quiet as before, but when Rafe finally cracked, you could only close your eyes.

“Why did you even want to go that night, anyway?” he bitterly chuckled.

You turned to look out of the window with a defeated heave of your shoulders, swallowing.

“You’ve never wanted to go before, and even then, some bonfire on the beach isn’t your thing. You go to house parties with pools and prissy bitches who don’t want to get their hair wet,” he sneered, making you look at him. “Yeah, JJ might’ve wanted to piss me off, but it was you he chose to do it through.”

“So…what…? It’s my fault? I should’ve never gone with you, is that what you’re saying?”

You frowned at him when he glanced at you, dirty blond hair kissing his forehead, and Rafe’s silence spoke volumes. Against your will, you felt your throat tightening, and you were unsurprised when tears kissed your eyes. You hated crying in front of Rafe.

“I just wanted to go, Rafe. I’d never been, and…it’s not like I have any friends to go with anymore. Would you have rather I’d gone alone?”

“Don’t be cute,” he threw at you, tossing you a scathing look. “You wouldn’t even get the chance to try.”

You huffed, looking away from him as he continued, watching the trees fly by.

“Besides, I thought we both agreed that your friends were catty airheads who you didn’t need to be around,” Rafe firmly said. “You have better friends, now.”

“Those are your friends,” you sighed. “…and I know because they barely talk to me. I’m just your girlfriend who’s supposed to stand there and look pretty.”

Those last words came out in a murmur, but Rafe heard them loud and clear.

“You’d have nothing to complain about if you didn’t ask to go in the first place.”

His words made your frown deepen, and despite what you wanted, a few tears escaped. You looked at him in disbelief, although, you didn’t know why. You should’ve been perfectly used to the words that came out of his mouth, sometimes, now.

“What am I supposed to do, Rafe?” you cried. “Just sit in my room, twiddling my thumbs until you come back?”

When he looked at you, he rolled those blue eyes of his, a scoff leaving his perfect lips.

“I don’t have time for the antics, tonight,” he breathed.

Now, it was your turn to scoff.

“You started it,” you pointed out.

You knew that you were already on thin ice, you could tell, but when Rafe cut his eyes back to you, your heart skipped a beat. You watched your boyfriend swipe his tongue between his lips, slowly nodding as he looked back at the road.

“Okay…” the truck started to slow as he inhaled. “Yeah, okay.”

You felt the hairs on your arms stand on end as he stopped in the middle of the road. It was late, so it wasn’t like the roads of Kildare County were littered with traffic, but it still made you nervous, nonetheless. You watched Rafe turn the truck off, and before you could say anything he was looking at you.

“Get out.”

His words made you blink, lips parting before snapping them shut.

“…what?”

One of Rafe’s arms leaned on the steering wheel while his other hand rested behind your headrest. Even in the darkness, there was a glint in his eyes that told you he was completely serious despite the insanity of the request. The atmosphere in the truck felt so tense—thick with it—and you pulled your lip between your teeth when Rafe leaned in, gaze cold and mocking.

“You said I started it? Well, now I’m finishing it. Get the fuck out of my truck,” Rafe quietly spat at you, making you flinch.

An incredulous bark of a laugh escaped you.

“Rafe, it’s the middle of the night, are you crazy?”

At your refusal to do what he asked, he merely turned away, opening his door. Your heart fell to your stomach as you watched him hurry to your side, yanking the door open and proceeding to yank you too.

“Rafe! What the hell-?”

Your words were cut off as you were forced to stumble out of the vehicle and into the road—without your purse. When he roughly shoved you away, you tripped over your own feet, hissing in pain as you barely caught yourself on your hands. Rafe was already back in his truck by the time you pushed yourself to your feet, and in shock, you watched him start it up. You’d only just reached the handle of the door when he sped off, and you screamed his name after him in a mix of fear and anger.

You couldn’t even really focus on the knowledge that you were in the middle of an empty stretch of road in the middle of the night. You were too angry and annoyed to, and with a sob, you pressed your face into your hands. You sniffed, wiping your face before wrapping your arms around yourself and looking around.

You knew that trying to go toe to toe with Rafe even just a little could prove to be disastrous. You just desperately wanted him to understand that all you had was him. With no friends and no social life outside of him, Rafe was all you had, and you weren’t the bad guy for simply wanting to go to a party with him. You knew he knew this though, so you didn’t even know why you bothered, but you just hated to be blamed for something JJ Maybank did solely because he and Rafe hated each other.

You were merely a tool in the incident.

Rafe was so childish sometimes, so this little display of anger shouldn’t have surprised you. Even still, your nerves were on end as you started to walk down the road. Like you’d thought earlier, there was no traffic in sight, and truthfully, nothing in Outer Banks was that far from anything else, but that didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

You wiped your face again, but fresh tears just fell.

It was cold, and while your jacket kept you from shaking, this still wasn’t the kind of weather to be walking down the street in. You couldn’t stop crying no matter how much you tried, debating with yourself if you wanted to just keep walking towards your house or try your chances with getting sympathy from some stranger. You knew what Rafe would prefer—and you knew what was statistically safer—but something in you wanted to piss him off further.

After all, he was the one who threw a tantrum and put you out on the side of the road in the middle of the night. Something in you was desperate to teach him a lesson, and you genuinely wondered what Rafe would do if you just…never came home. You wanted to see the look on his face when your parents called him asking if he’d seen you. However, something in you told you that he wouldn’t be as stricken as you’d think.

This was the same man who threatened to kill you on several occasions.

…but that was different.

That had always been when you tried to leave or even made him think you would leave. That was always said as a promise to make you stay, and even worse, that was when your demise would be at his hands. Rafe wouldn’t get the same satisfaction from leaving you to the mercy of the elements and strangers in the middle of the night.

You were just wiping more tears away when you could see headlights coming from the other end of the road. You weren’t on that side, so you weren’t all that concerned, and despite your earlier bleak thoughts, you actually didn’t relish getting in some stranger’s car and hoping he was honest enough to just take you where you needed to go.

However, your heart did sink a little when it became clear the vehicle was slowing down.

…but your worry morphed into irritation when you recognized the truck.

Rolling your eyes, you merely kept walking as Rafe slowed down enough to have a conversation with you. Or at least attempt to, anyway. You didn’t look at him, swallowing and keeping your tearful eyes straight ahead as you walked.

“Baby, get in the truck.”

“Why?” you wondered with a shrug. “You’re the one who kicked me out.”

“I don’t have time for this,” you heard him mumble. “Y/N, get in the truck.”

Against your better judgement, you ignored him, and Rafe stopped reversing to put the vehicle in park. You picked up your pace when you heard his door open, but Rafe was faster, and you could only attempt to pull away when he roughly grabbed your arm. Yanking you towards him, Rafe didn’t hesitate to push you against the side of the truck, making you wince.

His hold was so tight on your arm, and you shrank away from him when he pressed his nose to yours. His chest and shoulders were heaving, so you knew that he was beyond annoyed, now, but the stubborn part of you that reared its ugly head sometimes only stared back at him with trembling lips.

“I really don’t have time for this, tonight,” he whispered. “Get in the fucking truck, so we can go home.”

“You kicked me out! You go home…and I’ll just walk,” you tearfully spat, attempting to get out of his hold. “It’s what you wanted, anyway.”

Rafe’s impatience was bleeding through as you tried to get past him. One of his arms secured itself around your waist, the other gripping your arm as you attempted to grab that one. You were a mess of limbs and tears as you begged him to let go of you, Rafe’s low voice telling you to get it together.

You weren’t surprised when you found yourself harshly thrown to the ground.

You cried out when your chin bounced off of the pavement, unable to stop your fast descent in time. You heard Rafe curse from above you as a loud sob escaped, and you reached up to touch your chin, attempting to push yourself up. Rafe—in his haste—beat you to it though, grabbing you and forcing you to your feet. You could feel wetness on your chin as he forced you to the passenger side, quite literally shoving you into the truck.

You flinched when he slammed the door shut, tearful gaze focused on the glove compartment as he angrily joined you. When he told you to put on your seatbelt, you reluctantly did with trembling fingers, a choked cough escaping as you tried to stop crying. You couldn’t.

Rafe didn’t say a word to you the whole way back to his house, but you could feel his gaze on you every now and then. He didn’t turn on the radio, the only sound in the vehicle was that of your harsh wails. When he finally did stop in his yard, you both sat there for some time before a long sigh reached your ears.

“You know how I get,” you eventually heard him say. “You know I wouldn’t just…leave you out there.”

You didn’t say anything because you had nothing to say. You heard him shift, and you flinched again when the tips of his fingers grazed your face, his other hand coming up to gently take your chin. Turning you to face him, you watched his blue eyes roam over your face, taking in your tearful cheeks and bloody chin.

“I’m sorry.”

Not only was it something you’d heard a million times before, but you also knew that it was solely in reference to your face. Rafe wasn’t apologizing for kicking you out on the side of the road in the middle of the night. Why would he apologize for that when he felt that was justified? When you said nothing in response, he opted for getting out, and when he opened your door, you hesitated before taking his offered hand.

Once you were standing before him, he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you against him. You felt him press his lips into your hair, deeply inhaling. He quietly apologized again, and his words hung in the air as you knew what he wanted. Sniffling, you nodded.

“It’s okay,” you whispered. “It was an accident.”

It wasn’t…because even if Rafe hadn’t explicitly tried to make you bleed, he had intended to hurt you. In these moments, in the aftermath of whatever else Rafe did, it was so easy to think to yourself that you’d leave him. It was almost too easy to hype yourself up, but then you’d think about how it felt to be on the receiving end of that emotionless stare, dead eyes gazing back at you. You’d think about the fear you’d feel whenever his hand was round your neck.

…or the feel of the barrel of a gun in your mouth.

It was so easy until you remembered that Rafe would actually kill you, and you’d learned a long time ago that Rafe wasn’t one to bluff.

You were making something to eat when you heard someone coming down the stairs, and when you glanced up, you weren’t surprised to make eye contact with Sarah. You knew she was home, and you’d heard her friends downstairs not too long ago. You surmised that they were outside waiting for her judging by her state of undress.

“Oh,” she said, sounding a little startled to see you. “I didn’t know you were still here. Where’s Rafe?”

She glanced towards the stairs, and you confirmed her suspicions that he was indeed gone.

“He went to the club with Kelce and Topper.”

You gave her a shrug, answering her silent question.

“I didn’t really feel like going.”

It wasn’t a lie, but you also knew that even if you did feel like going, it probably wouldn’t have gone over well. The last time you went to the country club with Rafe, it didn’t exactly end the best. Running into some of his more casual friends had apparently sparked a conversation that you unfortunately bore the brunt of. It amazed you, really, how Rafe wanted both an attractive girlfriend his friends could envy him for while also losing his mind if said friends dared to say it.

“Oh,” she said again, a little more dejected this time.

Your attention was focused on your food, so you didn’t even realize Sarah was still lingering about until she spoke again.

“We’re going to the beach,” she suddenly blurted out, and you’d guessed as much at the sight of her bikini top. “You should come with us.”

At that you paused, giving her a questionable look that conveyed exactly what you were thinking. Sarah sighed, dropping her bag to the floor before nearing you with a roll of her eyes.

“I know that we’re not friends,” she slowly started, scrunching her face. “…but you’ve been dating my brother for like, what, two years?”

You glanced down at that.

“…and…I know it’s not my place, but you just seem lonely sometimes,” she hurried to continue when your gaze met hers. “I mean, I never really see you do anything that doesn’t involve Rafe. At least, not anymore.”

You swallowed at that.

“Come on, he’s at the stupid country club with his friends, and you’re just waiting for him to get back. Surely, you can’t like that.”

Sarah was more right than she knew, but you swallowed that down.

“I told you, Sarah, I didn’t want to go. I’m fine just hanging out here. I like being at your house,” you chuckled.

Sarah looked like she wanted to say something else but thought better of it. However, she did eye you though with a look you couldn’t place, and you sent her a reassuring smile as you grabbed your plate.

“You guys have fun,” you encouraged, touching her arm on your way past her.

You wondered how pathetic you’d become if your boyfriend’s younger sister was extending a hesitant offer of friendship. Granted, it wasn’t like she was outside your age group or anything, because she wasn’t, but the other circumstances surrounding your relationship just made it seem sad on your end. Your boyfriend’s little sister wanted to make up for how her brother treated you, and it was laughable in the worst way.

You were pulled from your thoughts by the sound of the hallway bathroom door opening, and you sharply inhaled as you almost quite literally ran into the last person you ever expected to see in the Cameron household. Now, you understood why Sarah had been worriedly eyeing the stairs as she asked if Rafe was home.

JJ Maybank looked just as startled to see you, but he recovered quicker than you did.

“Sorry,” you rushed out, breaking eye contact and moving to get past him.

You slowed when you recalled your brief glance at his face, guilt eating at you at the bruising that was still faint around the area of his nose. Briefly pressing your fingers to your forehead, you turned around, a little shocked to find the blond already staring at you. That discovery gave you pause, but you quickly pushed it aside.

“I’m sorry, by the way.”

You watched him raise his brows at you, but JJ otherwise said nothing, and so you elaborated.

“About your nose,” you told him, and JJ nodded in understanding. “Sure, you were being…a bit of a jerk, but Rafe shouldn’t have done that.”

At your words, you watched something flicker over his features, and the corner of his lips curved upwards just enough to be noticeable.

“You thought I was being an asshole,” he pointed out, and you snorted.

“I didn’t say that-.”

“…but it’s what you meant,” he slowly interrupted, stepping towards you.

You took note of the action, frowning a bit before glancing away.

You knew that Rafe would throw you down the stairs for even looking at JJ Maybank, let alone having a full-blown conversation with him, but the polite manner in which you’d been raised wouldn’t let you walk by the guy without saying anything in reference to Rafe’s behavior that night. Choosing to let the conversation die, you sighed.

“I just wanted to apologize for how he acted. That’s all.”

You gave him a strained smile before turning away, pausing when he spoke.

“You know, your boyfriend’s a bit of an asshole too.”

You tensed for half a second before turning to face him, stomach twisting at that mocking curve to his lips. Blinking, you wondered how to respond to that.

“That’s your opinion.”

“One you agree with,” he argued with a slow smile, studying your face as he pulled his lip between his teeth. “I can tell. You think he’s an asshole too. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be apologizing on his behalf.”

Maybe it was because Rafe took JJ’s actions that night out on you, but you actually felt yourself getting irritated.

“I wouldn’t have to apologize for anything if you hadn’t been trying to provoke him. We all know what he’s like, and you two don’t exactly have the best history,” you shrugged.

The other man didn’t respond right away, simply leaning against the wall with one hand shoved into his pocket. You felt a little self-conscious the longer he stared at you, doubly so when his blue gaze lowered. Having expected no one outside of immediate family to be in the house, you were only sporting one of Rafe’s shirts. It came down to your knees, but in front of JJ, you might as well had been wearing a thong.

It's how Rafe would see it, anyway.

“Is that what you do?”

At your blink of confusion, he continued.

“When he’s being…well…Rafe, do you tell yourself that’s just how he is and you know what he’s like and so you should know better?”

JJ’s words struck a nerve, more than he’d ever know, and you glanced away. You guessed that your silence was answer enough, and when you looked back to him, he was nodding to himself.

“Sounds to me like you need a better boyfriend,” he told you with an amused smile, shrugging at you.

Realizing that this conversation went far beyond what you intended, you chose not to dignify that with a response. You could still feel the heat of his gaze as you walked to Rafe’s room, and when you paused with your hand on the knob, you glanced up to catch his eye. JJ hadn’t moved, at all, simply opting to stare at you, blond hair messy in a way that Rafe’s would never be.

You recalled what Rafe said about JJ being trouble, and it was only then did you consider he might be trouble in a way you hadn’t thought about before. When the sound of Sarah’s voice traveled upstairs, JJ’s name in the air, only then did he glance over his shoulder, and you took that opportunity to lock yourself inside of your boyfriend’s room.

[melzula]

Smoke and Shadow

part two

pairing: Zuko x Princess!reader

notes: final part is here! hope you guys enjoy and thank you for being patient as always

summary: the group is one step closer to finding the missing children and Azula, but that doesn’t mean all of their problems will be solved

~ part of the fire lilies series ~

“We decided to do some investigating after Zuko kicked Aang out of the throne room,” Suki explains to you as your trio runs after the Avatar and Fire Lord. “We wanted to see if there were any clues left behind from Kiyi’s kidnapping or Azula’s Kemurikage attack on the palace last night.”

“And even though we couldn’t find anything, I realized there was something fishy about the way she was able to escape so quickly!” Ty Lee adds with a keen smile. “When we used to play hide-and-seek as kids, she’d always manage to win by hiding in this secret passage way tucked into the palace walls. It must be how the Kemurikage were able to escape so quickly.”

“Good thinking, Ty Lee. Although, I still can’t believe she kidnapped her own sister,” you note with a disgruntled shake of your head. “That’s low even for her.”

“This is Azula we’re talking about,” Suki reminds you, and that in itself is enough of an explanation for her behavior.

You finally skid to a stop after reaching the palace rooftops where Aang and Zuko land. The Avatar carelessly drops your boyfriend on the tile, and you wince on his behalf before offering Zuko your hand to help him back up onto his feet.

“Did you have fun?” You ask with a teasing smile only for the Fire Lord to scowl.

“Don’t ever do that again!” He scolds Aang whilst dusting off his robes.

“Okay, okay, but look!” the boy insists before pressing down on a loose brick that opens up a hidden doorway.

“A secret passageway! So you think this is how Azula and the other Kemurikage escape? How did you figure this out?”

“They searched for clues after you kicked them out of the throne room,” you tell him with a pointed look that has him shrinking guiltily under your gaze. “I think you owe Aang an apology.”

“You’re right,” he murmurs sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I should have been more open to your ideas.”

“Apology accepted!” Aang chirps happily. “Now what’s our next move?”

“Well… Kiyi could be on the other side.”

“Tom-Tom, too. I’m coming along,” Mai interjects firmly, seemingly forgetting Kei Lo’s presence until he corrects her statement with a “We’re coming along.”

Zuko instructs Suki and Ty Lee to stay back and guard the palace, so you bid your friends goodbye before beginning your descent into the narrow passageway. The hallway is cold and claustrophobic, but Aang and Zuko lead the way with their fire bending, cautioning you to watch your step behind them.

You’re quiet for the most part, mulling over your thoughts and insecurities now that you’re given a moment’s silence to think. You’re still feeling a bit insecure about walking in on him with Mai and about his animosity towards Kei Lo, but you haven’t had the chance to talk to him yet. The long distance has been hard on your relationship, and sometimes it’s hard to keep consistent communication when both of you have duties to tend to and entire nations to run, but you never thought it would be a problem. Now, you’re not so sure.

You recall what Azula had told you during your time in the Forgetful Valley, how you and Zuko were an “unnatural” pair that would never work. You hate to admit it or even think it, but what if she’s right? What if you’re just kidding yourself? Maybe Mai really has been the right girl for him all along. After all, she is Fire Nation, and she certainly is more qualified to be dating the Fire Lord than you are. You wish Suki were here to talk to, surely she’d know just what to say and could stop you from spiraling like you are now, but without her it seems it’s just you and your thoughts for now.

“Hey, I didn’t get to introduce myself earlier,” a voice says, pulling you out of your thoughts. “I’m Kei Lo, Mai’s boyfriend.”

“Yes, I’m sorry, everything’s just been so chaotic. I’m y/n, Zuko’s girlfriend.”

“That’s right, Mai told me. Say, aren’t you a Chief? Should I be calling you Chief y/n instead?”

“Just y/n is perfectly fine,” you correct him with an awkward laugh. Unbeknownst to you, Zuko is listening in on every word. He doesn’t trust Kei Lo, not one bit, and he doesn’t want him roping you into any trouble. He doesn’t care if he really isn’t in cahoots with the Safe Nation Society, if Kei Lo so much as looks at you in a way Zuko doesn’t like he’ll be tossed into a cell immediately.

“So how’s a Chief of a water tribe end up dating the Fire Lord?” He asks with a laugh.

“It’s a very long story.”

“Please spare me the details,” Mai says with a roll of her eyes.

“Yeah, it may not be the best time for that story,” you note with an apprehensive smile.

“You’re probably right. Still, it’s a pretty awkward situation we’ve all found ourselves in.”

“You can say that again.”

After some time group is finally able to reach the end of the passageway, and the only thing standing in your way from the other side is a solid wooden door.

“This must be it,” Zuko announces hopefully. “Behind this door could be Kiyi and Tom-Tom.”

“And Azula,” Aang adds apprehensively before helping the Fire Lord push the heavy wood open. The creak of the old hinges is deafening, echoing in the silent hallway, and you watch with bated breath as the light from the other side slowly begins to seep in. Carefully, you follow the two out the door only to be met with a disappointing site.

There are no missing children and there is no Azula. Instead, you’re faced with a gloomy and desolate graveyard.

“What is this place?” You murmur in awe, your eyes scanning across the expanse of withered headstones. You’ve never seen anything like it.

“I’ve been here before,” Zuko notes thoughtfully, “this is the royal family graveyard.”

“I thought that’s what the Dragonstone catacombs were for,” Aang questions with furrowed brows.

“No, the catacombs are only for Fire Lords. This place is for everyone else. It’s called the Garden of Tranquil Souls.”

“Really? Well, I hate to break it to you, Zuko, but…” the Avatar begins uneasily, and you follow his shifting gaze towards the clouds of smoke that begin to surround the graveyard. Taking a step back, you reach to unclip your water pouch as the dark figures begin to close in on your group. “The souls here don’t seem all that tranquil!”

The group of Kemurikage don’t hesitate to attack, and immediately your group is split apart as you all begin to defend yourselves against their assault. Blasts of fire are shot your way left and right, but you’re able to deflect it every time with your water bending. You manage to take down two of the spirits by encasing them up to their necks in ice, but your progress only seems to make a dent in their ambush. Zuko and Aang are still corned back to back, and Azula has managed to single out Mai and Kei Lo. She holds the boy by the collar of his shirt, eyes full of malice and hand ready to strike him with her blue flames despite Mai’s pleas for her to leave her boyfriend alone.

Before she can harm him, you send a blast of water towards her with an effortful grunt that shoots her across the graveyard and into one of the pillars. The impact is forceful enough to put a crack in the tombstone and disorient Azula momentarily to allow Kei Lo and Mai the chance to escape.

“Are you alright?” You ask him after rushing towards the couple. Mai helps him to his feet before looking to you, her eyes full of gratitude and sincerity.

“Thank you,” she says earnestly, and you give her an appreciative nod in return.

Rising from the ground with a grunt of pain, Azula is filled with rage at your assault on her. How dare you think you can beat her at her own game?

“Helping out your competition? That’s pathetic even for you, dearest,” she insults, irises aflame with fury. “Perhaps you and Zuko are more compatible than I thought.”

“What’s pathetic is the fact that you’re still obsessed with becoming Fire Lord,” you spit back, water cloaking your arms to form tentacle-like limbs for attack.

“Oh, I’m much past that now. I have a new mission,” she notes airily with a passive wave of her hand. Her eyes harden suddenly then and electricity begins to spread across her fingertips. “One that simply won’t work with you in the picture.”

Before she can raise her hands to strike you with her lightening blast, Zuko is quick to send a hail of flames her way to distract her. “Leave her out of this! It’s me you want!”

“Oh, Zuzu, always so dramatic,” she mocks before creating a cloud of smoke to cover her as she runs away.

“You have to go after her!” You exclaim urgently. “I’ll stay back and help Aang handle the rest of the Kemurikage.”

After ensuring you’ll be fine without him, Zuko gives you one final nod before chasing after his sister. You, on the other hand, rush back towards Aang to see if he needs any help. However, it seems he’s been able to manage the assailants just fine on his own.

“Princess! Where’d everybody go?” He asks, perplexed at the sudden disappearance of your group.

“Zuko went after Azula. I’m not sure where Mai and Kei Lo are,” you note as you scan the garden for any sign of them. “What do we do now? We still haven’t found the missing children.”

As if on cue, a shrill voice coming from the passageway calls out for help. You exchange an alarmed glance with Aang before immediately sprinting back into the doorway. A breath of relief leaves you at the sight of Mai’s father with the children in tow, but your ease is short lived at the sight of the two Kemurikage that hold them captive.

“Look!” One of the kids exclaims. “It’s the Avatar and Chief y/n!”

“Hi kids, we’ve been looking all over for you!” Aang says with an overjoyed wave.

“Are you guys alright?!” You call out protectively. “Is anyone hurt?”

“We’re great!” Kiyi calls back prompting you to let out a relieved laugh. You’re so happy to see her and see that she’s okay, but your joyous reunion is quickly cut short by the two spirits who begin to approach the two of you with whips of fire.

“Hang on, kids!” You tell them before beginning to take on the Kemurikage. There’s two of them, so you and Aang each take on one. They’re powerful fighters, but the safety of the children is on the line, so you use all of your might to fight them off as best as you can.

You counter their whip with one of your own, slicing through their weapon each time before it can strike you. While one of your hands controls the water whip, the other sends constant shards of ice hurtling toward the cloaked woman. You can tell she’s beginning to tire, your attacks too much for her to keep up with, but you’re too focused to notice the second figure approaching closely behind you. The Kemurikage’s whip is raised to strike you in the back, but their attack is halted by the blade that slices through the air and pins their hand against the wall.

“What-!” You exhale in surprise, turning just in time to see Mai swoop in and finish the job. The last two spirits have been apprehended, and you’ve been spared a wound that surely could have been fatal.

“Someone had to watch your back,” Mai explains with a faint smile. “You had ours.”

“Thank you,” you utter with a breathless grin. It feels nice to not hate each other for once, and you actually seem to work quite well together.

“Y/n! Y/n!” A voice calls, stealing your attention away from the girl and back to the children. Kiyi sprints towards you with a gleeful smile, and you’re quick to scoop her up into your arms and give her the tightest hug. “You came back!”

“I promised, didn’t I?” You say with a playful smile, carefully pushing back the hair from her face. “I’m so relieved to see you’re okay, and I know Zuko will be too.”

“Guess what? I’m a fire bender now!” She boasts proudly. “I burned a hole through the door so we could escape!”

“That’s incredible!” You praise with a laugh. “Wait until your brother hears this.”

Across the way, Mai cradles her little brother in her arms and watches you speak animatedly with Zuko’s sister. Your interest in Kiyi’s story is completely genuine, and she can see just how much the girl values your opinion. It’s so different from the way Azula used to talk about you, speaking poorly of your character and diminishing you to nothing but a weak Princess. Maybe Mai had judged you too harshly. After all, she might not have been able to get her brother back without your help.

“Thank you again for your help,” she tells you after setting Tom-Tom down to allow him to bid his goodbyes to his new friends. “I was wrong about you, and I shouldn’t have let my resentment cloud my judgement the way I did. I guess I really don’t hate you as much as I thought I did.”

“I appreciate you saying that,” you express with a careful smile. Perhaps things will always be awkward between the two of you, but this is at least a good start.

After making sure all of the children are accounted for, your group exits the passageway just as Zuko emerges from one of the mausoleums. Kiyi is quick to sprint towards her brother, and you watch on with a smile at the way his eyes seem to light up while hugging her close.

“Kiyi! I can’t tell you how worried I was about you.”

“I wasn’t worried at all!” She notes with a grateful smile. “You should’ve seen it, Zuzu! Y/n helped the Avatar take those nasty ladies down!”

“She did, did she?” He asks playfully, glancing over to you with a grateful smile. You simply give him a sheepish shrug in return. “I’ll have to be sure to give her my thanks.”

“And Azula?” You ask him, but his solemn gaze is enough of an answer. “She said she had a new mission, did she tell you what it was?”

“She wasn’t interested in becoming Fire Lord, she was interested in turning me into the type of Fire Lord she would be. The type that rules with fear, ruthlessness. Just like my father. Azula says I can’t escape who I am, and it will only be a matter of time before I’m just like her.”

“You don’t believe that, do you? You’re nothing like Azula,” you say earnestly. “You never will be.”

“I know,” Zuko murmurs softly, but you can see the slightest bit of doubt in his eyes and it saddens to you to know he doesn’t fully believe it to be true. “But either way she escaped. I don’t know where she is or when she’ll return.”

“We’ll be there to help you if she does come back, buddy,” Aang consoles with a comforting hand on the Fire Lord’s shoulder. “For now, let’s just focus on returning these kids back to their families.”

“Good point, Aang. Now,” you say, looking to the children who stare up at you with tired eyes that immediately brighten when you ask, “who’s ready to go home?”

~~~

Peace has been restored in the Fire Nation; the children have been returned safely to their parents, and Zuko has earned the forgiveness of his people for his mishandling of the situation. Everything is almost perfect.

You lean against the balcony of your room for the night and stare up contemplatively at the moon. Yue shines beautifully as always, and you find comfort in her light as you battle against the darkness clouding your thoughts. Your doubts about your relationship still rage on, and you haven’t been able to fight them off no matter how hard you try. You haven’t mentioned anything to Zuko, not wanting to distract him from his duty to his people, but the suffering in silence act you’ve been pulling all day hasn’t been helping your state of mind. Suki had urged you to talk to him, stating you had nothing to worry about because she’s seen firsthand how much he misses you when you’re away, but you were too anxious to follow through. What if you won’t like what you hear when you finally speak to Zuko?

You’re too engrossed in your thoughts to hear your door open or the quiet footsteps that head towards you, and it isn’t until he’s right beside you that you finally feel the familiar warmth that constantly emanates from his body. You don’t have to look to know that it’s Zuko.

“Suki said I should come to talk to you,” he says softly, golden eyes looking to you inquisitively. “Is everything alright?”

“I… I’m not sure,” you admit quietly, nervously fidgeting with your fingers and refusing to meet his gaze.

“What is it?”

His hand sneaks its way in between your own to halt your fidgeting and reassure that he’s right there with you and ready to listen to whatever it is you have to say. Sighing, you finally look to him with uncertainty swimming in your eyes.

“Do you have feelings for Mai?”

He’s stunned to stay the least, eyes widening slightly in surprise at your question. It’s certainly the last thing he expected you to ask him.

“Is this what you were trying to talk to me about earlier?” He presses gently, frowning at the way you slowly nod your head. “I see…”

“Just be honest with me, Zuko,” you plead desperately. “We promised we’d never keep secret from each other anymore, so if there’s something to tell then tell me. I can handle it.”

“I can’t stand here and tell you that it didn’t look bad when you walked in on Mai and I,” Zuko admits with a sigh. “But I can tell you that nothing was going on.”

“I heard you say you care about her.”

“It was out of context. I was trying to make things right for the sake of finding the children- she was obviously still upset over what went down between us, and I was trying to keep the peace so that we could work together to find our siblings. I’ve known her since we were kids, and if it weren’t for her I never would have been able to escape Boiling Rock and come back to you. So in a way I guess I do care for her, but it’s nothing compared to how much I care for you.”

“What about your animosity towards Kei Lo? You seemed… jealous of him.”

“I wasn’t jealous, I just didn’t trust him. I still don’t,” Zuko says adamantly. “I wasn’t exactly thrilled about having to release him because I didn’t want him to try and pull anything. I didn’t want Mai getting hurt, and I especially didn’t want him putting you in any danger.”

“So… so you don’t have feelings for her?” You ask meekly, the slightest bit of doubt still present in your voice.

“I’ve never had feelings for her,” Zuko says earnestly before gently taking your hands in his own. “You’re the only girl for me, y/n. I was stupid enough to let you go once, but I’m never making that mistake again.”

You can’t help but smile at his admission, tears beginning to well in your eyes as you throw your arms around him in a tight embrace that he immediately returns. It feels like a weight has finally been lifted off your shoulders, and all the worry and self doubt you had is finally beginning to melt away.

“I never want you to feel doubtful or insecure about our relationship ever again. I’m going to do everything in my power to do better,” he professes earnestly. “I love you more than you know, and you don’t ever have to worry about someone coming between us again.”

“I love you, Zuko.”

He pulls you in for a kiss, and with the moonlight shining down upon you both, everything is almost perfect.

For neither of you notice the pair of golden eyes that stare down at you from the rooftops with disdain and disgust before disappearing into the shadows.

“Pathetic.”

| atla tags: @sirkekselord @niktwazny303

| zuko tags: @thebluelcdy @royahllty @the-firebender-girl @ilovespideyyy @yiyibetch @eridanuswave @lammello @a-monsters-love @knaite-solo @taeeemin

| fire lilies tags: @emberislandplayers @kikaninchen-2 @music-geek19 @thia-aep @thyunnamed @haylaansmi @nataliahaslosthershit @idkdude776 @aangsupremacy @thirstyforsometea @ihaveaproblem98 @brown-eyed-thang @xapham @misnmatchedsox @chewymoustachio @that-bucket-hat-gal @chilifrylizard2 @kyomihann @kaylove12 @kiwihoee @freggietale @moon-spirit-yue @bubblegum-bee-otch

[alottiegoingon]

art fair

jackie taylor x fem!reader

summary: jackie taylor is the elementary school's art teacher.

warnings: too much fluff, jackie and reader being adorable, not proofread

you weren't expecting to stay for any longer than five days this time. that was the initial plan and the words you had said to your parents on the phone before you arrived to wiskayok, new jersey.

the second high school was over, you took the first bus to new york and never looked back. okay, never was a strong word. despite the strong feeling you had to free yourself from the place where you had an awful time in high school, sometimes you would come back to visit your family and your sister, in special.

not wanting to miss her growing up, you had to work extra shifts on the bookstore to pay for a decent looking car, capable of going back and forth from new jersey to new york twice in a month.

now, it was an special occasion. for her 8th birthday, you promised her that you would spend the week in your family home and spend time doing fun things. and by fun things, she meant fun things for her.

the first thing you were asked as soon as you put your feet inside was "what did you get me?"

after wishing your sister a happy birthday and watching her open her present, you sink into the couch with drowsy eyes after some good two hours driving, feeling exhausted. you were so tired that you weren't even paying attention to what the small human full of energy was chattering around you.

"what do you think we should do first? we can go roller skating!"

"bug, i hate roller skating. you know that." god, you remember the last time you fell on your face. you wore a purple eyes for weeks.

"...or we could go get me new books! mom promised me you would go out with me." she keeps talking, not paying attention to you. that was going to be a very long week.

the very next day, you could barely open your eyes when your sister forced you to wake up early and drive her to school, affirming that it was part of the birthday package you promised her even though you didn't actually recall that

[🎨]

you had the brilliant idea to go straight home after dropping the kid at school and sleep for the rest of the day. or until she got home with quick loud steps and a vibrant high-pitched voice.

your great idea fell apart when you were effectively blackmailed by a tiny human dragging you to her classroom, excited to show you everything. you weren’t even sure if you were allowed in there but you followed her anyway.

"that's cool, bug! you did that?" you encouraged her regardless of the many screams of the other kids hurting your ears, right after seeing the paint strokes in a small canvas forming the figure of a person. for a eight year old, the kid had some actual talent. it was better than what you could do.

she nods, extremely proud of herself. "ms. taylor is teaching us how to paint for next week's art fair. you’re coming, right?"

five days. five days was all you could do. it was a pain in the ass to convince your boss to let you skip work for a week and you only managed to do it cause she was a friend of the family. more than that and you would turn into a jobless woman.

“i’ll see what i can do, alright?” you get on your knees to match her height. “now i’m gonna go home and later we can watch…” your voice trails off when your attention is stolen by a woman entering the classroom.

wearing baggy and colorful clothes with glasses that made her look even more attractive, she had a few books threatening to fall from her hands and loose paper sheets. nothing like the old women you used to have for a teacher when you were young.

“good morning, party people! sorry i’m late today.” she doesn’t seem to notice you, too busy and overwhelmed while organizing her desk. she was probably used to be surrounded by loud gremlins all the time, you thought.

she was about to say something but her lips closed after not even a second, knitted brows and an uncertain but polite grin painted on her face. “oh, and i think we have a visitor today.”

and your world fully stops when she looks at you. flushed cheeks as you were practically drooling.

“that’s my sister, she's visiting for my birthday!” the little one fills the awkward silence, not looking like she cares about your unexpected loss of words.

“aw, this is so sweet.” she frowns for a second and all of sudden, her eyes are on you “and are you having a good time down there?” she chuckles, causing your heart to skip a beat, and only then you notice your knees hurting. you were still on the floor, looking like a full time idiot. you hear the other kids the room laughing as well.

“yeah, i was just… tying her shoes.” you stand on your feet as quickly as possible, nearly losing balance.

“no, you weren’t. my shoes don’t have-.” your hand flies over your sister direction to cover her mouth.

your legs were feeling like thin sticks as you walked towards the light haired woman, extending your hand to her. “hi, sorry.” you said falteringly.

“it’s all good. i like to stay on the floor sometimes too.” she offers you an empathetic smile. “i’m jackie.” she finally shakes your hand.

“jackie.” you echo her, subtly shaking your head. it felt like you were absorbing her name into your soul. even her name sounded like something that could be in a movie. “hi. i’m-“

“i know. your sister talks a lot about you. but i guess i wasn’t expecting you to be like this.” you freeze again.

“like what?" your voice trembles as you ask.

she didn’t say anything but you feel her eyes wandering around you while she smiles.

jackie gave you an excuse, apologizing for interrupting the conversation but emphasizing how she desperately needed to start the class. she was already late and you felt bad for taking so much of her time.

“it was nice to finally meet you.” is all she says and you made sure to say it back. before walking through the door, you quickly wave at your sister, not wanting to disrupt them anymore.

you immediately gave up on the idea of sleeping for the entire day. how could you when you had just met jackie taylor?

overthinking everything was like a piece of cake for you, as easy as blinking. but it wasn't hard to overthink things when jackie's first impression of you was probably a terrible one, knees on the floor and making a fool of yourself.

you were happy to welcome your sister back home from school, disregarding the fact that she told your parents that you were drooling over her art teacher on your damn knees. how can kids remember so much?

wanting to know more about her very interesting teacher, with ice cream for dinner, you succeeded in finding out that jackie taylor wasn't a married woman.

"why do you wanna know that?" you struggle to understand the few mumbles thanks to her stuffing her mouth with ice cream.

"okay, i think you had enough." you whisper, slowly moving the bowl away and ignoring her question.

[🎨]

for the next two days, between a bookstore visit or going out for ice cream, you would give jackie taylor a thought. not because you cared or was interested, of course, you were just curious. and you wanted to fix the impression you made on her.

"are you driving me today?" was the question you were asked every morning.

too tired, too sleepy, too early, bad headache, terrible cramps. were all the excuses you gave her so you could have a few more hours of sleep. until the third day.

"school is starting soon!"

"hmm, i don't know if i'm taking you... i'm feeling so-"

"ms. taylor's class is the first one today." you notice her playful tone. she knew you too well.

"good. i'm actually feeling so good today." fast as the wind, you shoot out of the bed.

"you don't have to walk me there anymore. i'm not a baby." the eight year old complains as she notices you following her inside.

"sure, i know. i just wanna make sure you're safe." that wasn't a full lie. yes, you were looking forward to talk to jackie again, but you still cared about your sister.

[🎨]

you were fifteen minutes earlier that the actual class time and by the time you walk into the room, jackie was already there. with your sister going straight to talk to her friends, that was your chance.

"good morning." you timidly knock on the halfway open door, not wanting to scare her.

"hello there!" jackie closes the book that was laying on her big desk in front of her, fixing her gaze on you. lips curving upward. "not tying any shoes this morning?" standing up, she adjusts her slightly crooked glasses as she watches you get closer.

"not today, no. too hard to find any customers." you join her tease, feeling like you have been blessed as she laughs.

"you should try the art exhibition next week. lots of shoes to tie in there." you caught yourself thinking that she may be flirting with you but maybe you were just going crazy for drinking so much coffee lately.

"i would love to tie some stranger's shoes on a school event." playing along, all you could think was that you urgently had to stay for more than just five days. time to beg your boss twice.

"nice! i'll see you there, then." about to end the conversation, jackie's smile widens and the simple act almost makes you fall on your knees again.

"actually..." you fight to not stumble over your words as you create the fastest excuse ever to see her again. "my sister and i are going out for roller skating tomorrow. you should join us."

jackie's gaze lifts back at you, eyebrows raising in curiosity.

"why should i?" she had the casual smirk adorning her face, probably enjoying this entire situation much more than you.

"because... we're going to a park nearby and there's a few tables in there. what's greater to an art teacher than a pretty view to paint?" you were quite proud of how quick your mind worked.

jackie seems to take a brief moment to think about your words, even though she had already made her mind minutes ago.

"it's a deal."

"what? you hate skating. remember when you had a purple eye? that was funny." you turn around to find your sister standing by the door, giggling at the memory of your swollen face. jesus, for how long she was in there?

[🎨]

you met jackie at the park after spending the entire day double-checking your helmet and all of your safety equipment. you couldn't afford to fall again. not this time.

with a huge bag and many art supplies, jackie carefully placed everything on the picnic table while being squeezed in a hug by your sister. the first thing you noticed was how jackie dressed the exact same way out of school. free of any boring clothes and with no glasses this once.

"you actually came." you shyly mirror her grin.

"of course i did. i need to paint something for the fair and i thought that the good old blue sky and pretty trees would do the job."

"so an empty canvas is what made you come?" nervously, your eyes dart back and forth at the brushes on the pine table and her eyes.

"not just that. i think the companny is pretty rad too."

after feeding the ducks with your sibling, you joined jackie by sitting in front of her. she appeared to be so relaxed even when being so gentle and cautious with the paint. you couldn't help but feeling at ease as well.

"found something worthy of being painted by you?"

jackie looks at you over the canvas with rosy cheeks and a contented smirk, affirming with her head. "i think i did."

"it's nice of you to stay longer." her narrowed focused eyes are back on her work, sometimes meeting yours.

you didn't remember telling jackie that it wasn't on your initial plan to stay that long and as if she was capable of reading minds, she snorts before explaining herself.

"she told me you wouldn't be here for the art exhibition." her head points at your sister, skating around the small lake.

"she really does talk a lot about me." you joke, referring to what jackie said when you first met her.

"why did you?" eyes locked on the piece of work, jackie tries to sound unbothered.

"stay longer?" she agrees silently.

"i figured that i really like art. and i couldn't miss such an important event for her."

"so your love for art was what made you stay?" jackie questioned and, once or twice, you would catch her more concerned glance at you.

"not just that. i think the art teacher is pretty rad too."

in the middle of longing stares and jackie blushing for the first time, you hear a childish voice calling you.

"aren't you coming? you're so boring!"

snapping out of the jackie taylor effect, you realized that you still haven't fulfilled your promise to skating with your sister.

jackie, not worried about the painting anymore, quickly put on her rollers with a huge beaming expression. without a single effort to stay still on those things, you became aware of how experienced she was.

"come on, i'll help you out." standing in front of you, she offers you a hand and you don't wait much to accept it.

[🎨]

you were a nervous wreck when the big day came and it wasn't even your works that were going to be exposed to people. in honor of jackie, you tried to wear something formal like a nice looking suit and elegant shoes. a bit too much for a simple school event but it was much more than that to you.

at school, you were surrounded by an impressive quantity of paintings already framed on walls. some of them were adorable, made by younger students.

being pulled by your sleeves, you spend a few minutes in the area where your sibling's works were hanging in and seeing her so happy made you pleased to your decision to stay.

with a single poppy in hands, you find jackie talking to someone, probably a parent. at the exact moment your eyes met, she quickly excuse herself from the conversation to walk towards you with energetic steps.

"all of this looks amazing. you look amazing." is all you can say, not caring about the ear to ear grin on your lips.

"hi! you look great too. i like the suit. so fancy." her hand tenderly brushes over your shoulder, feeling the soft fabric of your clothes.

"it's a special occasion, right? and, here, i got you something."

jackie's face radiates happiness at the second she sees her favorite flower being handled to her, eyes sparkling at you.

"thank you! how did you know i like them?" she tucks the flower into her hair, prettier than ever.

"you know, she talks a lot." you two share a laugh. "aren't you gonna show me your work?"

as her silky hands covered your eyes from behind you, she guides you to the wall with all of her artworks.

"you ready?" your nod in response and she let go of your eyes.

as soon as you open them, one specific framed canvas catches your attention. it was jackie's first view from when she was sitting at the picnic table the other day. you and your sister feeding the ducks on the lake, with the exact same clothes you were wearing. there was no doubt.

"jackie..." you gasp, stunned, jaw almost hitting the floor.

"you like it? i thought it would be something worthy to paint." she's nervous. you can hear her shaky voice as she speaks.

instead of saying something, you spin around to face jackie behind you. with trembling hands, you trace her jawline before pulling her in for a kiss.

you were a big fan of art now.

[desultory-novice]

...Needs Therapy? Tierlist

I don't often do these but I happened to see @icedragonlizard ‘s list and liked it enough that I wanted to do my own take on it based around my own HCs for the cast! (in a light-hearted way!)

[BREAKDOWN OF THE WHY'S BELOW!!]

-

[Row 1 / Doesn't Need Therapy]

I almost put Kirby in his own tier for "...is the therapist" but I thought it might look like he was giving up on the last row! (And in some cases he kinda did but still! XD) But anyway, yes. I think Kirby is just as strong mentally as he is physically. He doesn't need someone to talk to about bad dreams. He's the one who eats up bad dreams. ^_-

OG Animal friends (Rick, Coo, Kine) are all good in my book. Maybe they're just blissfully unaware of some of the chaos from the later games or maybe they're just okay with it cause they've got such a good foundation of support built up already? And despite creating "Apologies," I think Adeleine is not all that troubled on the day-to-day and is being an adventurous kid living her best life right now! Ribbon went through some trauma but I actually think she'd be handling it okay? She could arguably be moved down a tier though. Gryll MIGHT could be moved down a tier too, depending on whether you see them as a compulsive thrill-seeker or not! Elline is also doing great. That notebook-diary of hers is peak good mental health routine!

-

[Row 2 / Got Sorted Out in a Few Sessions]

I don't think Gooey's actual -problems- would/could be solved in a few sessions, but it's clear to me he's living his best life and I think our fictional therapist would see that and encourage him to keep going! Just let the guy know that it's okay to not know who you are. Bandee by my judgement has some issues, but he seems the type to respond really well to therapy and healthy suggestions!

Pitch could maybe be moved up a tier if he really is just a baby bird. But I look in those eyes and I just...wonder sometimes if he's okay up there?? Vul definitely needs someone to talk to, but I don't think his issues are all that severe either? Voted #1 Regular Guy on this entire table. The Fairy Queen and Claycia could use someone to talk to about possession trauma, I think. Void's here instead of a lower tier because the way I see it Void already GOT therapy in game! Clawroline and Gorimondo could be moved up a tier as well, but Carol may want to talk about seeing her partner, y'know, lose his soul and Gorimondo's routines MAY be slightly unhealthy?? (How many times are you going to let Meta Knight curb stomp you, man?)

-

[Row 3 / There's a LOT to Unpack Here...]

Whispy Woods has got a long history with Kirby, sure, but the whole attacking people as soon as you wake up? I think life's taken a toll on him and that's gonna need some discussion. Dedede is...obvious. Nothing unique to add here! Chuchu's placement depends on if she's still crushing hard on Kirby after all this time or not or just sees them as friends now. Kind of a joke placement at her expense! I’m sorry, Chuchu! I really do think you’re great! Best flapjack octopus!!

Skirby could maybe be moved down a tier as their coping methods are leaning a little into the sketchy as of late! Have they turned to violence for kicks or are they just challenging their mainverse self to grow stronger? Daroach is less here for Dark Nebula and more for all the OTHER stuff he lets slip in Mass Attack! (When did your hatred of tomatoes first start, Daroach?) Prince Fluff is here entirely because of the unused missing mom lore. Without that, he's so fluffy (haha) I'd moved him all the way up to "Doesn't need therapy." Flamberge definitely has issues, as the who~le cult does, but she still strikes me as the most balanced of the three mages? As I recall it, she actually sounded kinda excited to see the Star Allies during their second fight, as opposed to the first, which was just revenge for Fran. Leongar could be bumped down a tier, since he had his soul shattered in addition to being body-puppetted and forced to speak and adopt a foreign culture for years (?!) by an evil alien lifeform(!!) but...I dunno, he seems so chill in the ending and is seen back with the support of his pack? I think he'd be really receptive?? Elfilin also has sooooo many issues, but he's demonstrated so much growth already that I think with some help processing the return of/unification with his other self, his prognosis is very good!

-

[Row 4 / Gonna Be There for the Long Haul]

It's not that I think the lonely/jealous thing for DMS is particularly damning, but when combined with the ~Dark Matter~ thing and the fact that it may be nearly impossible for them to willingly go against hive programming/defy Zero is what's gonna give them a difficult road ahead. (Gooey's a sign it can be done though.) Honestly, Drawcia might could maybe be moved down a tier? I mean, if you see her "art therapy" as the World of Drawcia then... :sweats: But I have a lot of positive Drawcia HC and I want her to be happy ^^

I think Magolor is another self-explanatory one. Even Merry Magoland makes you wonder if he's still, y'know, "okay" on the inside. Taranza and Sectonia are obvious ones too. Susie is the only one I would consider maybe moving up a tier because she's got issues but the only one she was clinging badly too in my mind was the stuff with her father and she's moved on from that better than Taranza, who was still looking to resurrect Sectonia circa Star Allies. Was tempted to move President Haltmann down a tier simply because...I don't think a therapist can do anything about the evil super computer induced brain damage/LITERAL MIND DELETION.

Francisca gets here because of the corpse-sicle thing but maybe she should be moved down a tier too? ^^ I think most of the fandom has similar feelings on Zan and her level of damage. (/loving) And while he would have deserved it mid-game, I didn't want to put Hyness in the bottom tier now because that felt kinda cruel given the guy is trying his best to get better in the end of Star Allies!

-

[Row 5 / "...Well, I think we're done here."]

I don't think there's ANY reasoning with Kracko. Kracko is just a lifelong hater! (And we love him for that!) With Marx and Meta Knight, of course the joke is that they're both irreparably unhinged (/pos) but I think there's an element of, "Well, you SEEM to have your life sorted out according to priorities that make the most sense to you (...even if those aren't what the rest of society feels is healthy OR safe...) and you seem happy where you are so, best of luck to you!"

Zero is either emotionless or made of negative emotions and neither feels receptive to therapy, I'm afraid. With Galacta Knight... I just think it's best for the therapist to get out of there before the office is destroyed! Why risk the chance it doesn't work out?! And while I don't think Dark Meta Knight is hopeless myself, I DO think the therapist would be totally valid to politely tell them, "...I don't think you need MY help ^^; Have you considered checking out your local SCA chapter?" (Alternatively, DMK could be raised a FEW levels because between the joy with which he goes at those crayon drawings and the wing-sunning flappies, he may know how to treat himself better/ know better self-care than MK - hilariously.)

ShaDe may a walking bundle of possessions in a body and I don't know how you would tackle that in therapy?! Get him an exorcism?! Sillydillo is also living their best life with, um ...a-art...therapy... so I think they're fine...? Yes. Fine. Let's go with fine. (I love you so much, Sillydillo. I love you and your only-boss-in-Kirby-with-a-one-hit-instant-kill-attack-and-it's-shockingly-brutal-in-a-still-safe-for-little-kids-way! Shine on, you crazy star!) ...Attempting to talk down Fecto Forgo nearly led to the destruction of TWO planets so let's give them a little more time centuries to cool off first, yeah? Sounds good!

...Lastly, I almost moved Morpho Knight up to the first tier because, I mean, THEY don't seem to have any problems. THEY'RE just doing their job! Maybe their problems are everyone else's problems?! XD

-

As stated before, this is more my HC (with a dash of humor) rather than an entirely objective view of the Kirby cast and is all meant in fun! (Especially the placement of guys like Meta Knight XD)

I hope it amuses/inspires rather than upsets...!

[dozing-marshmallow]

Dawg…..i NEED NEEED NEED more of Chris Nibling with the other campers please 🙏 🙏

You ask, you shall receive ;D

CHRIS MCLEAN’S NIBLING! READER AND CAMPERS (CONTINUED HEADCANONS)

“Where did I leave it...?” The pretty blonde girl wondered around the campsite one day, in search of something. She finds you sitting in your beach chair and the missing item fades from her priorities,“Oh! Evening (Y/N)! Woah...you look tinier than I remember...” 

“Huh?” You look up at her. Did her mind go on holiday again?

“Yeah! You’re like a little kid, I’m surprised they let you on the show!” She blurted out. Yep, it has.

“That’s because I am a kid! Not a little one.” You proudly remind her,“A little kid wouldn’t own a makeup kit now, would they?” you held up the one you found to her, not knowing it was hers, let alone what she was searching for until she squalled.

“Omg!” She plucks it from you, her long hair shimmering with the sun,“Thanks (Y/M)! You’re like my Santa’s little helper! Oooo! Have you ever tried this stuff?” 

“The makeup?” You tilt your head,“Isn’t it for adults?”

“It’s for everyone!” Lindsay averred,“Oh, it’s a must! Makeoveeer!”

The idea startled you,“I don’t know... Uncle Chris might not-“

“Ohhh we’ll be fine! He’ll totally change his mind after seeing it!” She was very certain, which could either mean it’ll go exceptionally or horribly.

Only one way to find out.

"So lucky!” She holds your jaw up,“You're still at that age where you can eat whatever you want, whenever you want!”

"Huh? Can't you also eat whatever you want?" You asked your beautician of the day, unaware of adolescence’s side effects.

"I caaaan't! Too many carbs and butter tarts is bad for you!" She complained,"You break out into hives, grow hair everywhere and get taller...!"

“Eww!” you pull a face of repulsion,“I can’t imagine what you’re going through! It sounds so hard!”

"As Buddhism says, it's a part of life if you wanna keep tanning." A breath of sorrow, she searches her bag,"Okaay... Um, let's start off with the foundation!"

You watch her squirt some of this skin matching liquid on her blender,"Do you know what you’re doing?”

"Sure I dooo! But I bet you didn't know that when I was eleven, we had this charity called something Foundation visit us at school and they weren't even about make up!” She begins to dab it on your cheek,“So glad I exposed those con artists in front of everyone! What kind of charity deceives people like that?"

Uh huh...

"Eyeliner time!" She declares, hoarding the blender back into her kit.

You didn’t recognise what “eyeliner” was until she took it out, a pen looking thing,“Ohh I know what that is! My uncle uses that all the time! I always thought the way he did it looked creepy.”

“Uncle? You...have an uncle?” She repeated wide-eyed like the term was foreign.

“...Chris?”

“Ohhh right!” Her mind brought back to the minimum work,“That’s where I know you from!”

Having that needed to be recalled, you were kind of getting scared about what was she putting on your face.

“Let’s add a beauty mark therrrre! And you’re done!” She takes out her mirror and holds it in front of you,“Tadaa! What do you think?”

“It’s the wrong way, Lindsay.” You lightheartedly inform her.

“Oops! Sorry!” She flips it around, and you see the final product at last.

You gasped... 

Wow!

Maybe it’s because you were inexperienced with makeup, but in your eyes, Lindsay was phenomenal, the very best: the shine on your nose and correctly placed pastels were all so glamorous to your young mind, you felt guilty for ever doubting her. She knew what she was doing!,“I love it! I love it, I love it, I love it! I look like those models Uncle Chris talks to sometimes! I don’t think I ever wanna wash my face again!”

"You're welcoooome!” The “dumb princess” chimed, twirling her finger around a strand of her hair,”Still think he won’t like it?”

Absolutely not! Maybe if he likes it enough, you could convince him to replace his current make up artist with her! Fingers crossed!

Hearing DJ, you jump into a non-lethal bush and waited until he was in your peripheral vision to grab his attention.

“Thought I heard you (Y/N)!” he warmly came over to you, used to your ways of a child,“Everything alright with you?”

“Yep!” you emerge, lifting your head up to make eye contact with the tall jock,“I wanted to know if...you wanted to feed the squirrels with me.”

“Aw, I’d love to-“ He paused. He had to remember that this adorable child was related to Chris,“Count me in!”

"Yay!" You pull onto his large hand and led him into the woods. Seeing a family of squirrels, you lean on a log and pass him your spare bag of nuts. While you waited for the bushy tailed rodents to warm up to you, DJ had a very serious question to ask.

“What’s the name of your teddy?”

Oh man! You were going to miss him so much when he goes,“Mrs Maple! She was there for me since day one! Chris got her for me.”

He takes a second to appreciate your innocence, connecting the story to his relationship with momma,“You really love him a lot, don’t you?”

You made a fuss from his imprecise words,“Mrs Maple is a girl!”

“I know that! I meant Chris.” Now they were precise; even at your error, he managed to not raise his voice if it meant the feasting squirrels could continue entrusting their vulnerability to the both of you.

“Ohh! Yeah, I love him a lot too! He’s on my top ten favourite people list(and so are you)! There’s no uncle in the world I would trade him for.” You exclaimed, goodbye-ing the squirrels in your thoughts,“Aww...”

Luckily, you weren’t left alone by nature’s animals for long; something further away moves into your sight, slow and mature. You excitedly point it out,“DJ, do you see that? There’s a moose over there!”

And he returns the excitement, by picking your smaller body up and sitting you on his shoulders. Woah! You’ve never been this high before! “Let’s get a closer look! Moose are also friendly.”

With his hands secured around your legs, you spread your arms out, mimicking an airplane,“Weeeee!”

Another session of free time led the campers to be diffused everywhere on the island, so there were very few people in the mess hall- such as Harold, Leshawna, and yourself, who was playing uno with Duncan. The stack was currently a green 8, like his mohawk. It’s Duncan’s turn and he takes a pause, before smirking.

“Two plus six makes eight...” he places down two cards at once, a blue two and a blue six.

This boils you to take discipline,“Pick up two cards, Duncan! You can’t do that, that’s cheating!”

“No it’s not!” He revolted back.

“Is too!”

“Is not!”

“Is too!”

“Is not!”

“Is too!”

“Is not!”

“Is too!” you huff,“Chriiis!”

Having being called, your uncle gets up from where he was sitting and comes behind you,“What’s the problem?”

“Tell Duncan he can’t do that!” You demand, throwing a finger at the smug juvenile delinquent.

Chris complies to your exact words, by repeating in a dull tone,“Duncan, you can’t do that.”

“Aww come on, dude! You should’ve seen what I did! Look and decide as the host if it’s fair.” He gleefully folds his arms.

So Chris does and whether it was so he could see you irritated or that he genuinely liked what Duncan pulled, he approved of it.

“Hah! Sorry smarty pants!” Duncan laughed in triumph at you gritting your teeth,“Looks like you’ll be the one picking up two cards!”

You throw your deck at him,“No I won’t, because I quit!”

“Aww, is someone mad they couldn’t handle my genius?” He derided, resting his face on his palm, monobrow wiggling.

“Shut up, cheater!” You stuck your tongue out at him,“Cheater!”

So annoying!

[ennard-is-near]

As promised, my thoughts on The Week Before!

(Spoiler free first, spoilers under the cut. Also long post warning)

It was objectively not a good book. Most fun I’ve ever had reading anything, though.

I’m going to start calling him “Ralph Scott” as his full name. At first I hated the name Ralph but it actually grew on me over time. I think Scott is a valid last name and he doesn’t have one in canon so it’s Scott now. I might just call him Phone Guy sometimes though.

If I had to pick one FNaF song to represent this book it would be Stay Calm, absolutely no question. Do with this what you will.

I really enjoy his relationship with the restaurant and animatronics. It’s pretty realistic imo, he always seemed like he was pretty fond of the brand and had loved it and worked there for a long time.

Coppelia is so y/n coded I don’t know how else to explain this. She feels like a self-insert or fan child. Like the way they describe her outfit reminded me of good ol’ Wattpad fic. This is not good or bad, simply a statement. I actually liked her.

Game continuity stuff:

At first it sort of struck me as odd that Ralph says this is his “first week on the night shift” because in FNaF 2 he mentions that he is going to take the shift after Jeremy. But then he mentions that the restaurant closed down after the Bite of ‘87 so it actually sort of makes sense. It took me a minute to figure that out, though.

As I mentioned before, they are mean to Jeremy? This is genuinely hilarious to me. Like at one point Phone Guy mentioned that staff kept saying “You can’t spell team without meat” right after the Bite and his takeaway is just “that’s not very nice but at least they paid attention at orientation.” The first time he brings it up he asks what Jeremy did to provoke the animatronic (my friend said “what was he wearing?” And I think that’s hilarious). He says that the press blew the whole thing way out of proportion but he says that following “he doesn’t talk anymore. Or do much else” so idk man. Ralph just seems more annoyed than anything, like he’s mad it got the restaurant closed down. He does sort of care a little bit, I guess. It depends on what sentence you’re reading.

(My friend also said that it’s sort of the thing you have to joke about, like if that happened at your work you’d have to be an idiot about it [especially bc it was probably over 5 years ago] and while I completely agree, I feel like he’s mean to Jeremy personally a couple times and that’s not very nice. He was just doing his job, man. This is so funny to me genuinely. I will never stop thinking about it)

There were a couple Bite of ‘83 mentions, which I was not expecting, but was very exciting to me. Ralph going up on stage and thinking about why people aren’t allowed up there…he called 1983 on the phone and it was just screaming and Bite of ‘83 audio (and it was different from the games?) which was wild.

I loved that he said they used to call the Bite of ‘83 “The Big Bite” until ‘87 happened. And he likens it to how they used to call WW1 “The Great War” until WW2. Incredible comparison.

Something that I don’t remember Ralph bringing up directly is the MCI. There’s obviously references to it, but I don’t recall him ever going “wow remember when those kids went missing?” Like he does with The Bites. Not a huge deal but definitely a small thing I noticed.

It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. The way they wrote the it’s me thing actually sent me to hell and back. Some interesting implications as to what that could mean if it’s happening to Ralph too. I think the way it was described the “it’s me” echo like, taking up his whole mind and actually hurting is so fascinating to me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

He refers to himself as “Phone Guy” at one point, or at least says that that’s what other employees call him because he records the training tapes and welcome messages. I actually liked that, it was late at night when I read it but my sleep deprived brain thought it was a cool nod to the fandom.

He also records the messages for Michael (/the next employee) in the books, which is so fun. They used the word-for-word transcript from the games which I also thought was really cool. I’ve always been a fan of those opening phone calls, his FNaF 1 stuff makes you really get attached to the guy and then he fucking dies which is always deviating. Putting them in exactly like the games was a good call.

Also also his night four message recording was really well written actually. It might have been my favorite part of the whole book. Him talking to Coppelia in a non-canon death was really sweet too

They mentioned Susie being Chica and Jeremy being Bonnie by name. I like this. Ralph saying Susie just by vibes was fine, but I kinda want to know how Bronwen knew that Jeremy is Bonnie? Like I know she’s done a lot of research but how does she know which specific kid is which specific animatronic? That seems like a hard thing to figure out, even if you know everything about the case. Eh, whatever.

They kept just… listing the animatronics? Like the book will go “Look out for Freddy, Bonnie, Chica and Foxy.” Over and over again. Like yeah, I got it.

Phone Guy

They made him a boy failure. And a lame dad. Absolutely perfect. He says the same stupid fucking joke every time even though nobody’s around. He practices making stupid jokes and puns so he can tell them to his daughter later.

He loves his daughter so much, also. Like all he thinks about her all the time and he checks on her immediately when he gets home. He wants work at her school? He keeps telling her never ever to go to Freddy’s. In the non-canon death where he calls her and he says, “I love you. Don’t come looking for me.” Aughhggg.

A couple of his deaths were genuinely so funny. The one where he’s just mixing shit in the closet and the door gets jammed? That wasn’t even an animatronic that’s just basic workplace safety. The one where he’s being killed (by Chica I think?) and his blood is going all over the floor and he goes “I just cleaned that!” Hey man, there are more important things happening. The one where he puts the cupcake up to his face and it like…eats him? Why did he do that?

There are also a couple non-death endings that are great. The one where he just accidentally gets locked in a room is pretty good. He can get sued by Fazbear which is really funny. Coppelia can get eaten by The Cupcake which is iconic.

Foxy is his favorite. We find this out when he’s being killed by Foxy and he goes “But you were my favorite!” Foxy is also Michael’s favorite. Also nobody asked but he would have been mine if I was a kid at Freddy’s.

I like when he walks in to a room covered in blood and goes “It must have been an animal!” You and I both know it wasn’t, why did he say that? Also he throws about the blood.

Other characters

Coppelia is so good. She’s so middle-schooler and I mean that in a good way. She’s well written in a “that’s what twelve-year-olds are like” way. During the ending where he calls her and says he loves her and she goes “I know, Dad” like she’s rolling her eyes. Okay go off Coppelia. But also she clearly loves her dad she’s just a preteen. I don’t like that Phone Guy calls her Pel, though. That’s stupid.

I don’t like Bronwen. She’s underdeveloped and as she stands in the book just completely unnecessary. She’s a cool character in theory, a reporter who’s obsessed with the mystery at Freddy’s, but she probably couldn’t work in a book like this. I feel like her only purpose was to give Ralph a quest, phone and dead body to find. He probably could have gotten those things on his own, and it actually would have been better for his character I think. She feels like a self-insert character from someone who won a “get your own character featured in a book” contest. She’s not hugely important or prevalent in the plot, to the point where she could be cut and it would probably make the story better. But as her own character, in a book where she was a main or very prominent side character, she could be very interesting. She’s just not here.

WILLIAM AFTON?? Okay, well, maybe. Probably. He’s only in there a couple times, as “Dave” the maintenance guy who knows everything about the animatronics and is annoyed that you called him at 4am. Definitely William Afton, which is very cool and interesting that he’s still around and slaying at the time of FNaF 1. Idk if I’m going to include that in my personal brain timeline but whatever, still good info to have.

Williams presence does raise a question that has always bugged me, how do people not recognize him? Like I get that maybe it’s like Clark Kent where you’re not looking for William Afton so you won’t recognize him, but I feel like this is a little different. Because Dave Miller isn’t some unassuming maintenance worker while William Afton is some huge famous, supervillain or something. Dave Miller is a guy who knows everything about the animatronics and William Afton is the guy who made the animatronics. And they look the same? He’s not even bothering with glasses or anything. And Phone Guy has to have seen William a few times because he’s implied to be higher up (at least a manager or something) at the company in 1987 so he has to have seen William a few times. And Ralph’s gone bowling with “Dave” before, so why was he never like “Huh I wonder if this is William Afton considering they look the same and have the same job and nobody has seen Afton in a long time.” He’s so Sweeney Todd core.

There’s a brief mention of a character named Mrs. Anderson who has a dead daughter, and to me that daughter is Susie. (Not Cassidy bc I have a different family for Cassidy that I can’t get into rn but trust me.) But that’s so sad actually, that she is basically Coppelia’s babysitter bc she misses her own daughter. I feel like something that FNaF could benefit from is more little character insights like this. Just getting a brief “Mrs. Anderson” and seeing how she’s handling her kid dying. This could not be Susie’s mom, and I’m just seeing connections where there aren’t any, but I think she probably is meant to be.

Okay I’m done

I really liked this book guys. It was worth sneaking a copy of into my house. I had so much fun with it, even if I just read it back-to-front like a normal book instead of “playing” it. (Idk why they kept pretending it was a video game, it’s clearly a book, but whatever.) there were a few very fun details that I really loved and it was a good addition to the canon of the series. I won’t incorporate everything into the lore I made up in my head, but I will definitely take some of it. I really enjoyed it, I really did.

[honeyjars-sims]

3.7 No Matter What

“So he said I need to get a job by the end of the month and that was that.” Johnny shrugged. He was relaying the details of the fight he’d just had with David to Khadija, trying not to let on how much it bothered him. As usual, however, she was able to see through the ruse.

“That’s a big consequence. It must feel pretty scary to face the possibility of being kicked out of your parents home.”

“Yeah, I guess. I’m going to look for a job, though. At least I won’t have my Dad breathing down my neck all the time.”

“That’s great! I’m sure it’ll feel nice for you to accomplish something on your own.”

On your own. Those words got to him. As much as he complained about his dads interfering in his life, the thought of being alone scared him. Maybe it was for his own good, but in a way it felt like he was being abandoned, like a kitten taken from its mother too soon. He tried to squeeze out a “yes,” but the words were sticking in his throat.

His silence was palpable. It grew from his body like an appendage, reaching out to Khadija and drawing her attention towards the pain he couldn’t verbalize.

Johnny suddenly felt the weight of everything he’d been holding in as it spilled from his body. Tears rolled down his cheeks and onto his shirt, one right after another until he was heaving with sobs. He couldn’t stop. He didn’t even want to. Everything in his body was screaming that he needed to get this out, to feel it and let it be seen.

Khadija remained silent. She knew better than to prod him. Everything was already out in the open; the words would follow when he was ready.

Finally, he spoke. “Do you remember when I was talking about my mom and Lexie a while back? When we were talking about what I expected from doing the right things?”

“Yes, I remember.”

“Well, I was gonna say, ‘They still didn’t love me. I did everything I was supposed to do and...they still didn’t love me.’”

“So it feels like the love you receive is contingent on your behavior? That whether or not you receive love is determined by how much others think you’re deserving of it?”

“No. I don’t know. It feels that way sometimes, or at least it did when I was a kid.”

“How about now?”

“Not really. I mean, I’ve been an asshole to everyone for months but no one’s cut me off or shut me out. They’re still here. I’m the one trying to push them away.”

“Why do you think that is?”

Johnny thought for a minute. Why was he acting out? He didn't like the person he was becoming, but maybe that was the point. “Because that way it’s not really me they don’t love. It’s the jerk I’m pretending to be. But…they do love me.” Johnny recalled David’s words to him before the session. “No matter what.”

“Yes, they do,” Khadija replied softly. “You’re a lovable person, Johnny.”

“Thanks. Even my mom loves me, in her own way. It’s not enough for me right now, but it’s there. And Lexie…maybe she didn’t love me the way I wanted, but she did love me as a friend. She was a really good friend to me. I miss that. I miss her.”

“And the love Lexie has for you, is that enough?”

Was it enough? Johnny had been so caught up in self-pity following the end of his relationship with Lexie that he hadn't even begun to consider what it would be like to have her in his life as a friend again. “I think so. Yeah," he responded. "It wasn’t before, but now? It means a lot to me that she cared so much.”

“I'm sure she still does.”

Johnny recalled all of the times Lexie had been there when he needed support; how she would drop everything to hold him in her arms as he cried without ever asking for anything in return. “Yeah, probably. Maybe I’m not as alone as I feel like I am.”

“See, you’re making progress.”

“It doesn’t feel like it.”

“Progress isn’t always linear. Sometimes you make big leaps and sometimes you fall back. But now you have the skills to get yourself back on track, and you’re able to use them on your own.”

“Yeah, what am I even paying you for?” Johnny smiled. It was nice being able to joke in this room again.

“I’m pretty sure your parents’ insurance is paying me,” Khadija volleyed back.

“Okay, you got me there.”

Previous | Beginning of story | Beginning of chapter | Next

Thanks @daniigh0ul for the inspiration for Khadija's line that progress isn't linear 😊

[lookingfts]

i was going through my fav fics and realized “that in love and death, we don’t decide” is yours!! that is one of my personal top 5 kate and anthony fics ever!! i was wondering if we could get a glimpse of them with baby neddy?

It’s been seven years, but the memory is still so fresh.

Kate simply can’t see Anthony shirtless with Edmund hoisted over his shoulder, gentle little bounces to pacify him, without recalling him doing the same to Hyacinth so long ago. Sometimes she wonders if that’s the exact moment she fell in love with him.

Everything was so different then, so uncertain. Standing on fragile glass and praying it didn’t give way beneath them. Until it inevitably did.

But she and Anthony had found their way through it, found their way to being happier and healthier, found their way back to each other. And Kate was still grateful for it all these years later.

Children had never been the strongest of desires for her. Caring for Mary and Edwina had sapped her of her energy and made her afraid to take on responsibility for anyone else.

And Anthony had been terrified to have a child. Terrified to make his son or daughter suffer his brokenness, the same way he suffered Violet’s.

But they stopped taking on so many burdens for their families. They worked hard to heal their wounds and when Kate did eventually discover that she was pregnant, it was a happy thing.

When she had admitted, hesitantly, that she wanted to name him Edmund Ketan Sharma-Bridgerton, to commemorate the two men they loved and missed more than anything, Anthony sobbed almost alarmingly hard. Kate held him, her own tears soaking into his skin.

“Just so you know,” Kate says quietly, stepping into the nursery. “If I wasn’t so tired, this would make me very horny.”

Her husband cracks a crooked smile, his hand taking up the entire expanse of their son’s back as he rubs soft circles. “Rain check for when we’re not both sleep deprived.”

“Deal.” He extends an arm as she comes closer, and Kate burrows herself into him, Edmund tucked between their bodies. Her family. It’s still hard to believe, sometimes. “I wouldn’t have wanted to do this with anyone else. You know that, right?”

Anthony is quiet for a moment, and Kate takes over the duty of rubbing Edmund’s back as he starts to make gurgling noises. “I know,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. “I only wanted kids with you. You’re perfect. The world needs more of you.”

Kate chuckles into his shoulder. She is absolutely not perfect, and neither is he, but she loves every inch of him, all his flaws and quirks included. And, impossibly, he does the same for her. “That night. You were just like this, holding Hy, and I didn’t think I wanted kids but – it was so hard to get that image out of my head. I started to think…maybe. And then you took me to bed and I wondered if you were thinking the same thing.”

He groans into her hair, a rough little noise from deep in his throat, and tightens his hold around her. “I was,” Anthony admits. “I saw a whole future with you in that moment. A future that I didn’t think I had any chance at, but I wanted it anyway. I’ve always wanted you.”

Heart aching at his beautiful words, Kate nuzzles into his neck. Anthony has never thought of himself as a poet, but he always knows how to break her apart with the simplest, sincerest expressions. “I’ve always wanted you, too.”

They savor the silence for a moment. Their hushed voices have soothed Neddy back to sleep, his face soft and peaceful. It’s rare they get this kind of quiet, lately.

She lets her eyes trail over him. He has Anthony’s endearingly large ears, and her eyes and nose and curls. He’s fussy like his Appa, frowny and pouty when he doesn’t get his way, and stubborn to the core like a Sharma.

Kate loves him so much it hurts.

“Thank you for him,” she sighs, swiping her thumb over her son’s soft head.

This is nothing like she used to imagine for herself. So much more than she ever thought she deserved, more than she thought she would be lucky enough to get. Certainly with someone as beautiful and brilliant and broken as Anthony.

But they’re here. And she was right. Together, they’ve created a life that suits them both quite wonderfully.

She’ll never completely shake the fear of everything slipping through her fingers again. But in a moment like this, the way she loves them seems eternal. Impervious to any force that might come for them.

“Thank you for him.” Anthony lays his head atop hers, his cheek against her temple, and everything in her feels utterly at peace. “Do you want to put him down and go back to bed?”

Kate simply tightens her arm around him, around Neddy. “In a little bit.”

[robbinghisdick]

Jason can't help but think that Dick should really consider dying his daughter's hair to a more natural color. Elani's silver hair is easy to pick out amongst the kids at the playground. Elani would be about six now, if Jason recalls correctly. He hadn't seen her since she was a baby.

But this isn't about seeing his niece, this is about ruffling Dick's feathers.

Although Roy is watching her along with his own daughter, all it really takes is for him to become preoccupied with Lian. Just a moment of distraction, and for Elani to be off on the other side of the playground for Jason to grab her.

His car is parked right at the curb, he's tossed her into the passenger seat before the girl realizes what's going on and causes a fuss. She immediately grabs the door handle, but Jason has it slammed shut and locked before she can push her way out.

Elani looks more angry than scared as she looks at Jason. "My dad will kill you."

Jason snorts at the blunt threat, starting up the car. He glances over and see's that Roy has noticed Elani is missing. "Nice try, sweetheart, but Nightwing doesn't kill."

"I didn't say Nightwing."

Now THAT surprises Jason, but he doesn't have time to question further. He pulls away from the curb and takes off, waiting until he's sure he's not being followed.

"So, who's gonna get me then?" he asks. He never did figure out who Elani's other parent was before he died. All he knew is that it caused an explosive fight between Dick and Bruce, and he had decided to stay out of it.

Elani doesn't give him a response but gives him a withering look of a grumpy child.

"You seem very certain that he'd kill me. Just talking big or did he actually kill someone?" Jason presses, reaching over and poking her.

"I've been kidnapped before, and they were much scarier than you!" she snaps back, swatting away his hand. "He shot them, and he'll shoot you too."

Jason finds himself laughing, wondering how the perfect golden boy Dick Grayson ended up with this mouthy of a child, much less had a baby with a killer.

///

The longer they drove, the quieter they both got. Jason's thoughts settled back on Dick. Roy has probably called Dick by now, and an automatic message Jason had set up has likely reached Dick's phone. He was going to have a little fun messing with the man. Bruce would likely be made aware soon too, desperate to find his favorite kid.

When they got out of the car, Elani put up a fight, screaming and yanking against Jason's hold, but he doesn't pay it much mind. No one around would come to save her.

His grip tightens and he yanks her along as they head into an old building.

Then he freezes. Something washes over him, dulling the swarm of thoughts in his head, the rage he feels.

He feels Elani kicking his leg and he glances down to see that she's started to cry, desperately trying to pry Jason's hand off her wrist. She looks at Jason with teary eyes, a peculiar light gleaming in them.

I'm hurting her. Something twists in his chest, and he relaxes his grip on her wrist just a bit. "I don't plan on hurting you," he says, continuing to move through the old rundown building. "Just play along for a little bit, alright?"

She stops fighting against him, but he hears her still sniffling.

The plan was to leave her locked up here and move to another building to throw off Dick, but curiosity decides to nag at him.

He picks up Elani as he sits down, and she flinches as he wipes at a tear.

Jason pulls off his helmet and sets it to the side. "Do you remember me, Lani?"

Elani studies his face for a moment before shaking her head. It stings a little, even if Jason knew it was unreasonable to expect her to remember his face.

"I'm Jason."

At that, her demeanor changes, eyes lighting up. "Oh! Uncle Jay," she says immediately. "Daddy talked about you a lot."

The past tense doesn't go over Jason's head. "What'd he say?'

Too vague of a question. Elani shrugs. "He missed you a lot," she says. "And would pull out pictures sometimes. I have one in my room!"

Jason finds himself surprised to immediately know what photo she was likely talking about. Dick joked about how Jason was Elani's favorite person in the whole world and had a framed photo of Jason holding Elani up. She couldn't have looked more delighted in that photo.

He remembers just how excited he had been to be an uncle. He'd spend any moment where Dick was out of earshot trying to get his name to be Elani's first word just to tease Dick. Elani would refuse to smile whenever Bruce held her, but Jason could always get giggling.

It was hard to believe that Elani was only in kindergarten, but those moments felt like they happened a million years ago.

"He said you died."

Jason nods. "I did."

Elani registers that for a moment, looking very concerned. "Are you a zombie?"

Jason blinks. "I don't think so. I did come back to life, though."

"Did it hurt?"

"A lot," he confirms. It was hard to comprehend just how much pain he had been in. "Still hurts."

Elani is quiet for a moment before rubbing her bruising wrist. "Why are you doing this?"

Suddenly his reasoning didn't seem very sound, and it left him baffled. He had been so sure and convicted only moments ago. He didn't want to think about it.

He avoids the question.

///

Jason had completely forgotten the run around he was going to give Dick. He instead spent that time just talking to Elani. It was the clearest his head had felt since he was resurrected.

He hears the floor creek and glances up to see Nightwing at the door.

The man is tense and freezes when their eyes meet.

Jason glances back down at Elani who was still talking about some mean kids at school that she was dealing with.

With a sigh, Jason gestures take her. He doesn't feel like fighting Dick anymore.

That seems to startle Dick and he carefully approaches, glancing around as if there were some trap that would spring out once he got too close.

None came.

"Hey, Dove."

Elani looks over her shoulder and springs out of Jason's lap and into the arms of her father. Dick holds her tightly, body sagging with relief before he stood up with his daughter in his arms.

Neither of the two men say anything. Dick's mouth opens, hesitating, but seems to decide he doesn't want to jinx anything and quickly leaves with his daughter.

Looking over Dick's shoulder, Elani waves.

Jason waves back.

In the next hour, he'll wonder why hell he just let her go, why he didn't follow through with any of his plans. His thoughts crowd and his anger brews.

///

Maybe next time.

[Previous]

(A/n: Sadly it isn't the power of love that got to Jason, just an undiscovered meta-ability lmao. Idk if anyone is actually gonna read this, but it's been buzzing in my head for like... two weeks. I'm still familiarizing myself with Jason so like, give me a lil bit of grace if anything is too OOC. This is placed vaguely after Jason killed a bunch of people dressed like Nightwing)

[roomsofangel]

GROWING PAINS . . . # CHAPTER NINE !

synopsis you hated christmas. simple. this year was no different, the only thing changing was the scenery when you decide to let your older brother, yunho convince you to visit your grandmother who neither of you had met but hoped it would do some good. everything was still the same — writer’s block, the winter loneliness, the way yunho won’t stop singing jingle bell rock, yeah, everything was the same. at least, until a certain blonde haired boy made it his mission to melt your iced heart.

warnings none really!

wc 1.3k

if you’d like to be added to the taglist please either send an ask in my inbox or leave a comment to be added to the taglist! reblogs and comments are also very appreciated! ^_^

this chapter is in san’s pov !

a/n i decided to update this today and give you all a double update for growing pains since i know it has been a good while:( let me know what you guys think :D

san thought he knew a lot of things back when he was still a rosy cheeked kid with deeper dimples than he had now — when he still had a lot of hope in the world and nothing snuffed out his spark just yet.

and maybe now that he’s an adult with more emotional scars than before, he can say he never wants anyone to feel the way he did. not since that night, he refuses to let anyone feel as if he has given up on them. sometimes he wonders if thats who he is or the fact he just wished no one ever gave up on him.

this small town, oh the ache it carried when he decided to come back three years ago to care for his mother. it was best to not live these days in his own rues, he had to learn to accept the past and embrace the future, no matter how much it ached.

and for the most part, san was fully convinced he was healed from that chapter of his life — that he no longer needed medication to make him feel alright.

“and this is yeosang.”

ah, that made his world shatter. kang yeosang in the flesh.

his eyes couldn’t help but match the other’s when they narrowed, eyeing and taking in the sight of how he was sat before the sound of your voice came up again, “you can sit by me if you want to.”

and san felt his heart ache a little, well— does it count as an ache? he hasn’t felt anything in his chest like this before, unless it was to do with hurt and sorrow. san nods, “of course yn.” he smiled, and tried to ignore the feeling of a glare on him as he took a seat with you, your smile warming him up.

it seemed that time was going by achingly slow, but san was thankful for the three that were there. mingi seemed to be decent, he reminded him of wooyoung. he should text wooyoung later, he forgot to do so.

as the movie progressed, it was some romcom that san could recall watching with his sister years ago, he couldn’t remember the name but he could recall certain scenes as he tried to snack on the popcorn given and focus on the texture, the taste. he could feel your hand brush against his and he felt his face warm, why was he warm?

“personally, if she says i’m a bird i’m gonna be a bird.” mingi broke the silence with his hands raised up in defense, making yunho snort and san couldn’t help but laugh a little himself and nod along. “so are you?” he teased a little and mingi grinned

“i like this guy.” mingi motioned over to san who nodded his head in acknowledgment and returned the grin, yunho agreeing with a “right!”

but san didn’t miss one thing,

the one thing but san is he was too observant for his own good

so yeosang must have forgotten that san noticed everything, even the similar little scowl that he remembered all too well.

“no! like this!” mingi shoved yunho aside to get onto the snowy ground, laying on his back and spread out to begin making a snow angel, making yunho groan and find a new spot to make his own

san chuckled, turning his attention to you who quickly looked away and back at your brother, making his lips only curl up more. he was convinced his face would hurt later on. “are they always like this?” he asked, wondering out loud and asking you while you nod and laugh. “sadly.” you said in response, san chuckled

“thank you for inviting me, yn.” san whispered softly as his eyes glanced up at the night sky, the stars twinkling and he noticed the moon was full. god, it was beautiful. he always loved the moon, he loved the different meanings and the different phases. how can something so magnetic and beautiful also be so far?

his eyes glanced towards you, your rosy nose scrunching as you felt the snowflakes fall onto the bridge of your nose and melt on your skin, your focus more on the same moon he was admiring.

how can something so magnetic and beautiful feel so far?

san walked back to his home, holding his house keys while you followed behind, your little hums making him smile at the snowy ground that he tried to focus on, counting each little detail. “hey san,” your voice met his ears, and he hummed in response

“i’m glad you came tonight.” you said, the two of you reaching his doorstep and he thought this was comical in a way, maybe even endearing. you were walking him to his door this time, oh how the roles reversed but he didn’t mind. he’d do anything to spend just even another second with you.

san smiled, “me too.”

“i’ll.. see you around?” your voice got a bit higher towards the end, your feet backpedaling to walk away soon to get on your way back home but your gaze was still on him, cheeks and nose rosy. “you know where to find me.” he whispered, not letting his eyes leave you for one moment. no, he needed to every little detail of you tonight committed to memory.

you looked.. so beautiful, under the moonlight with the snowflakes in your hair. “goodnight, san.” you looked at him, and he nodded.

“goodnight, yn.”

you reminded san of the moon,

he just hoped he could be your sun.

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taglist (open) @myonlyloveseungmin @itsvxlentine @rockstarsanie @brown88 @barbielibra @vixensss @satsuri3su @yessa-vie @yoichiislovie

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

I doubt Harry and Meghan will even release a Christmas card let alone one with a pic of the kids. They haven't bothered with a proper card like the royals do in the last couple of years, the last one I recall was a digital card with an image from one of their events, invictus I think.

I do agree something even if trivial will be announced on Catherine's birthday. They just can't help themselves. It's funny because it makes no difference to Catherine as other than her 40th she's never personally publicly marked her birthday and I doubt she cares if others use it as a day to get publicity for themselves.

BP putting it out that they're not invited for Christmas must hurt as they can't do their regular will they/won't they PR. They were using Charles Spencer for PR a couple of months ago but that stopped so maybe he told them to shut up.

I do wonder if Harry is missing Christmas with the family even if he claims he didn't enjoy it. This year has shown he is on the outside and I think Harry and Meghan do spend too much time scouring the internet so they will see all the BRF events and see all the family together.

Harry and Meghan would probably find plenty of things to complain about even if they were invited but it is sad for the kids. All the cousins will see each other during the early Dec Christmas lunch and then at Sandringham all or most of the late Queen's great-grandchildren will spend the day together.

Maybe the new PR will be to complain about not getting an invite and being excluded from family events. Who would have sympathy for that I don't know but I can't think of anything else they can do in the run up to Christmas.

Thanks for sharing!

We now have an idea of the Sussexes' Christmas PR:

Meghan is back on her "together we cook" strategy exploiting supporting immigrant women. She had an exclusive interview last week. I think we'll see something else pop up this week as we go into Thanksgiving and a Round Three sometime during the Christmas season.

the polo documentary, the trailer for which is getting panned and panned badly enough that gossip is leaking out from the polo world about what they think of all this (Nacho is losing deals, Harry has been PNG'd from some places, and many actual polo people declined being involved).

Harry is hosting a virtual Christmas party with Scotty's Little Soldiers. That'll get him a few media cycles of attention, especially if he drip-drips information.

the Tyler Perry award and gala. It sounds like the Sussexes are on the planning committee but I'd be surprised if they actually have a role other than to walk the red carpet since they haven't done anything to/for/with Tyler than to live in his house and allegedly terrorize his staff.

All of that is just through the first third of December, to December 10th.

In the second third of December (Dec 11ish to Dec 20ish), I think we'll see some "Harry and the Royals" PR mid-December, perhaps coinciding with the annual Windsor pre-Christmas luncheon. I also expect the Sussexes' Christmas card to come by then too - but whether it's from Archewell or Sussex Royal or them personally or separately, I have no idea.

In the last third of December (Dec 20ish to Dec 31ish), I think we'll get some more Vancouver Invictus content to start the ramp up towards the actual event. Maybe a cheesy New Year's Eve message or video copying the Waleses' end-of-summer video (since Lady C's gossip - which I don't trust or find accurate but I do think is entertaining - is that the video angered Meghan and she began scheming a 'family togetherness' strategy).

Also switching to the Waleses for a second, since Kate has been providing quarterly updates on her health (March, June, September), it's likely she could provide another update in the December/January timeframe. My sense is that it will probably be part of 'Together at Christmas' but I can see her doing something in January to mark her birthday. We'll see.

[ejzah]

Would you be interested in writing a little something related to Kip and Deeks? I’ve always wanted to read about how Deeks tells Kip about Kensi. Obviously he knows a bit of his feelings/attraction based on how he was teasing Deeks. Would love to read a few small snippets of conversations between them.

I love your writing. It makes my day to see a new post.

A/N: Hi anon! That’s so sweet of you. Thank you!

I probably have written a version of this before, not that I recall exactly what (😂), so if this seems familiar, I do apologize.

***

Just Between Two Friends

2011

Deeks first met Kip Brigham in sixth grade. Back then, Kip was a skinny little kid five inches shorter than Deeks and on the quiet side. They played basketball every chance they got; sometimes with Ray or a couple other guys, but mostly just each other until they got on the high school team in ninth grade.

Since then, their friendship had experienced ebbs and flows. Before NCIS, Deeks hadn’t seen Kip in months due to his undercover work.

Now, they were spread out on Kip’s couch—a ridiculous leather thing that probably cost more than all of Deeks’ furniture combined—after spending the morning surfing.

“You know, if you hadn’t been all about pursuing justice and all that crap, you could have gone pro,” Kip commented, slouched in one corner with his feet up on a glass table in front of him, an overpriced smoothie bowl in his lap. Deeks didn’t begrudge Kip’s success at all, but he certainly didn’t mind the perks.

“I’m glad you think so highly of my former professional aspirations,” Deeks said, grinning to let him know he didn’t take it to heart. “You know if I’d try to surf full time it would have ruined it for me.”

“Right, because you’re too good to be rich, Saint Marty Deeks.”

Deeks dodged Kip’s elbow jabs, digging his phone out of his front pocket as it buzzed twice. There were two texts; one alerting him to a new case and the other asking if he wanted a ride.

“Who’s Kensi?” Kip asked, peering over his shoulder. Deeks shoved him away.

“Hey, personal space, man.”

“You didn’t tell me you had a new ‘ladybird’.” Nodding in approval, Kip held his hand up for a fist bump.

“I don’t. She’s my partner.”

“Ah, partner. Is that the new term for friends with benefits?” Kip said, smirking.

“No, and if she heard you say that, she’d knock you down without breaking a sweat and smile the entire time,” Deeks warned him.

“Ooh, she sounds like my kind of girl. Is she hot?”

“I’m done talking to you,” Deeks informed him, standing up.

“Oh Marty-Mar, don’t be like that. I won’t tease you about your girl anymore. Sit down and finish your smoothie bowl.”

“Once again, she’s not my girl and I have to go to work.”

“You keep telling yourself, brother!” Kip called after him.

***

2012

“And that, my friend, is a slam dunk, and you owe me five dollars,” Deeks panted, basketball tucked under his arm as he jogged back to Kip. “Pay up.”

“You were a much better winner when we were 15,” Kip informed him. “I told you I tweaked my calf yesterday, right?”

“Uh-huh.” Deeks held out his hand, waiting until Kip slapped the money into his palm.

“Whoever wins this round, buys lunch.”

“Since you’re a professional NBA player, that seems slightly unfair, but alright,” Deeks replied dryly. He paused to check his phone for any missed messages. It was a Sunday, but that meant little when it came to bomb threats and international incidents.

There was a string of texts from Kensi, and he chuckled under his breath as he read them.

“Alright, who’s making you smile like that, Martin A. Deeks?” Kip asked suspiciously.

“It’s just Kensi,” he answered reluctantly, anticipating Kip’s delighted grin.

“Oh really? So what did your “partner” say to make you look happier than the day you got accepted into law school?”

“She was just telling me about this professional development training she’s at.“ He couldn’t get much more specific than that since the topic was interrogation techniques. “Apparently she made one of the guys in her group cry.”

“I take it that’s a good thing,” Kip guessed. He paused a moment. “What’s this Kensi look like?”

“Brown hair, brown eyes, little taller than average.”

“Oh man, you gotta give me more than that. Is she pretty?”

Deeks huffed the softest of laughs; Kensi was the most gorgeous women he’d ever met. “She’s gorgeous,” he allowed.

“Alright, now we’re getting somewhere. Now tell me about how she looks in a bikini—”

“And it’s time for round three,” Deeks interrupted, ignoring the flashes of Kensi in said bikinis flashed through his mind.

“Oh, you got it bad, man.” He heard Kip say from behind him.

***

Early 2013

Deeks glanced around the bar, noticing the peeling wall paper and rickety tables. He and Kip used to come here all the time backs when Deeks was a broke college student and Kip hadn’t made his millions yet. Somehow it seemed a lot more depressing now as a fully grown adult.

“You know my partner, Kensi?” he asked, twisting a half-empty beer bottle between his palms, head lowered so he didn’t have to see Kip’s expression. He’d only had a couple, but it was enough to encourage his already melancholy mood.

“You mean brunette, makes you laugh like a school boy and go all starry-eyed Kensi?” Kip confirmed, rolling his eyes when Deeks looked up in surprise. “Man, you only talk about her every time I see you. Kensi likes sushi, Kensi is so pretty. Kensi beat up a guy twice her size and I thought it was really hot.”

“I did not say that,” Deeks protested. He took a long drink of his beer, holding up a finger. “Though she admittedly has beaten up a lot of guys.”

“Like I said.”

Deeks shifted uncomfortably, hunching over the table. He didn’t know why he’d brought Kensi up here and now of all places.

“So, what about your Kensi?” Kip prompted, and Deeks didn’t bother denying that Kensi might be his.

“I think I’m in love with her,” he sighed. Kip outright laughed at that, slapping his knee.

“Well thank god you finally figured that you. Took you long enough. What finally tipped you off?”

Deeks glared at him, but didn’t have the will keep it up for long. “I guess I’ve known I had feelings for a while. I convinced myself that we were just friends, and colleagues, but she makes me happier than I’ve ever been. She makes the suckiest day better and,” he stopped, raising his hand slightly as he tried to find the words to explain exactly how much Kensi meant to him. “When I’m with Kensi, I feel like I’m not just some broken, screwed up guy.”

“It sounds like she’s a good woman.” For once, Kip didn’t go for a joke and Deeks appreciated it.

“She is. She has the most amazing smile.” He looked slightly beyond Kip, smiling himself as he imagined the way her face lit up, and how much he adored it when he was the source of that happiness. “And she has the most insane laugh. It’s like a cackle. It’s crazy, but it’s the best thing I’ve ever heard. I’d do anything for her, which is kind of terrifying if I think about it too much.”

“Oh brother, you’re really gone,” Kip commented.

“Yeah,” Deeks agreed softly. He didn’t add that he’d willingly followed her into bomb-rigged buildings and would jump in front of every bullet if he could.

“So what’s keeping you from taking the next step? Don’t tell me she’s not into you.”

Deeks shrugged. “Sometimes I think she’s interested, but uh, I think she might be as scared as I am. Besides, it’s kind of frowned upon since we work together.”

“Well, that’s a load of crap,” Kip declared bluntly. He took a long drink of his beer. “Ok, here’s what we’re gonna do. We finish these beers, take my limo over to your lady friend, and then you express your undying love to her.”

“Oh god,” Deeks groaned. “Kensi would kill both of us.”

“What if we throw in a couple dozen roses and a trip to my bungalow in the Caribbean?”

“That’s a wonderful offer, but I don’t think we’re just ready for grand declarations of love.”

“Well, when you are ready, my bungalows and limousine are at your disposal,” Kip told him, raising a slightly unsteady finger. “With the promise that you tell me all about it.”

“You got a deal,” Deeks agreed, because he doubted that moment would ever come.

***

A/N: I hope I did Kip, and his and Deeks’ friendship, justice.

Thanks for the prompt!

[clangenrising]

Month 6 - Greenleaf

“He just abandoned the kid!” Yarrowshade cried, tail lashing as he paced. “I can’t believe him!” Crouched near the river, Goldenstar winced sympathetically. Yarrowshade had been furious since yesterday and she could see why. The news of Toadpaw’s capture had been jarring to say the least and he and Russetfrond had never gotten along very well in the first place. 

Turning her gaze back to the water, searching for a flicker of scales under the surface, she said, “I’m sure he did what he thought was necessary.” 

She thought back to the assessment they had taken together as apprentices where their mentors sent them to investigate a ‘missing patrol’. She, Russetpaw, and his sister Heatherpaw had discovered his mentor, Darkrush, ‘wounded’ in a set of tunnels. Before they could figure out what had happened, Sunstar (Sunblaze at the time) had descended on them pretending to be a fox. Russetpaw had made the choice to abandon Darkrush in favor of falling back to set a proper ambush for the fox in the next chamber and Goldenpaw had felt terribly about it, even though no one was actually hurt. That had been around the time her crush on him had started to fade, she recalled. 

She twitched her whiskers and forced her vision to refocus on the water. A second too late her paw flashed into the water, just missing the little silver fish she had been aiming for. 

“Mouse-dung!” she hissed under her breath and stood, deciding to move to a different spot on the shore.

“Just because he thought it was necessary doesn’t mean it was right,” Yarrowshade grumbled, kicking a stone. It clattered along the pebbled strand. A few tail lengths away, Scorchplume’s face parted the grass as she poked her head out to scowl at them. 

“Do you think you could gripe louder?” she huffed, “maybe then you can scare off the deaf mice too.” 

“Sorry, Scorch,” Yarrowshade’s ears wilted. 

Scorch shook her head and slunk out of the grass to come stand within a more conversational distance. “Look, I can settle this once and for all. Did you see the trap this Toadpaw got stuck in?”

“No,” Yarrowshade shook his head, “but Russetfrond said it was made of cold silver lines that were as thick as a mouse’s tail and stronger than stone.” Goldenstar shuddered again at the thought. What a strange and frightening thing. Once again, she found it hard to focus on the river over the conversation behind her. 

“Then your Russetfrond was right,” Scorchplume said matter of factly, causing Yarrowshade’s brow to furrow deeply. “Those traps are specifically made to catch cats. Once you’ve triggered them there’s no way out. Sometimes if you’re fast you can get caught under the door and wiggle your way out but you’re more likely to lose the fur on your tail.” She shrugged as if that was that. Yarrowshade definitely wasn’t satisfied. 

“But there must have been something we could have done!” he protested. “The twolegs can open them easy enough, there has to be a way.” 

“Sure,” Scorch laughed, sitting down with a swish of her ginger tail. “Once you grow those long twoleg toes let me know and I’ll show you how to get the traps open. I’m telling you, beebrain, unless you have a couple hours to try and flip it over, you don’t have a chance.” 

“Have you seen many of them?” Goldenstar asked curiously, looking over her shoulder, all pretense of fishing abandoned. 

“A good amount,” she nodded, casting her cool gaze in Goldenstar’s direction. “There are plenty of them in the city. You have to get good at spotting them if you don’t want to get caught and altered.” 

“Altered?” Yarrowshade asked, still frowning.

“Yeah,” Scorch shrugged. “You know, notched? Fixed? Emptied?” Both Yarrowshade and Goldenstar stared without recognition for a moment. Scorchplume sighed. “They make you sleep and when you wake up your bits are gone and your ear is notched. After that you can’t have kits. Do you guys really not know about that?” 

“Oh,” Goldenstar said, “We call it going to the cutter. I’d never heard of them notching your ear though. Why would they do that?” 

“Apparently it’s a mark of shame,” Scorchplume rolled her eyes, seemingly not convinced of her own explanation. “To show the world you’re unworthy of their love. House cats that get altered don’t have their ears notched.” 

“Weird,” Yarrowshade screwed his mouth to the side, eyes drifting to the ground in thought. Goldenstar had to agree with him. Seemed to her that a twoleg deciding they didn’t want to keep you was a blessing, not a curse. 

“The point is,” Scorchplume said haughtily, “Your Russetfrond was right. There was nothing they could have done for the kid. Better him than the rest of them.” 

“But that’s so cold hearted!” Yarrowshade protested again. 

“Maybe,” Scorch shrugged, “but that’s life. You either look out for yourself or you get killed.” 

“Not here,” Yarrowshade glared, not necessarily at her but at her words. “Here we look out for each other. I would gladly die for my Clan.”

“Alright, you have fun with that,” Scorchplume scoffed and Goldenstar noticed her squirming slightly. She frowned. 

“I’m glad you feel that way,” Goldenstar said, crossing to brush her tail against his leg. “But sometimes getting killed only means one more grave to dig. I think we could stand to remember that.” 

Scorch smiled slightly and blinked slowly in her direction. “Well said, your excellence.” 

“I guess,” sighed Yarrowshade. “I’m just tired of losing cats and being powerless to stop it.” Sullenly, he nudged another stone with his toe. Goldenstar leaned her head against his shoulder and purred sympathetically. 

“I know,” she sighed. “Me too.” 

Scorchplume watched them for a beat and Goldenstar caught a small glimpse of a twinge in her throat and something distant and choked and forlorn inside her gaze. It made her want to reach out but knew the other she-cat would probably be uncomfortable with sudden physical contact.

“Well, I’m probably going to head back to camp,” Scorchplume said eventually. “All the prey around here has probably gone to ground for a good while.” 

“I think I’ll join you,” winced Goldenstar. “I can’t seem to focus on anything. What do you think, Yarrowshade? I’d say a nap is in order.” 

“Yeah, alright,” he shrugged. “I’ll see if I can go out with Pantherhaze after sundown and recoup our losses.” 

“Sounds like a plan,” Goldenstar said. Flicking her tail in Scorchplume’s direction, she started the trip back to camp. 

~~~

As they neared the ridge, Russetfrond and Branchbark passed by them, likely getting an early start on the dusk patrol. Goldenstar faltered in her step at the sight of him.

“Everything alright?” Scorchplume asked softly, eyes flickering from her to Russetfrond.

“Yeah,” Goldenstar nodded. “I’ll catch up with you.” Scorch dipped her head graciously and slid up beside Yarrowshade, almost hiding from Russetfrond’s subtle glare in his shadow. 

“Ignore him,” Yarrowshade said, loud enough for everyone to hear, “He’s just jealous.” 

Russetfrond scoffed but the ginger cats were already too far gone for him to give a proper retort. His eyes caught on Goldenstar as he focused on the path ahead and he frowned. 

“Hey,” she said, throat suddenly tight. “Have a moment?” 

“I suppose I could spare one,” he said, sounding artificially cold. When did he start hating me? Goldenstar wondered. Branchbark shuffled awkwardly, glancing quickly between the two of them. 

“Should I…” he trailed off, tail tip starting to twitch.

“No, you’re alright,” Goldenstar smiled, then said to Russetfrond, “I just wanted to say I think you did the right thing yesterday.”

“Oh?” he asked, one brow lifting. 

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Thank you for making the tough call. I know that must not have been easy.” 

Russetfrond nodded. “I’m glad you understand.” 

Goldenstar’s stomach fluttered hopefully. “That’s all. Good luck on patrol.” 

“You too,” Russetfrond said automatically. She bobbed her head and slipped past him. Maybe things between them weren’t so bad after all.

[achitka]

Day Seven: Storm

Do you really need context? Just asking for a friend... and there is none actually

Day Seven: Storm

“So, Pepa, why are we all up here?” Julieta asked as she too looked up into the tree.

Pepa sighed and turned away as she replied, “Fog.”

Her siblings looked at one another and Bruno said, “As I recall, Pep, that never went well.”

“I know that, but I want to try again. Mamá is set on retrieving those kids tonight, so we’re gonna need some kind of cover and a storm would just be dangerous.”

“Oh, so you mean that fog,” Bruno said, sounding a little more nervous than he was when he’d gotten there.

“Okay,” Julieta said, “Don’t do anything, I’ll be right back.”

“You don’t have... to…” Pepa trailed off as her sister stepped out of view back into the tower.

“You know she always wants to be prepared, Pep,” Bruno said as his eyes wandered up to the dark cloud forming over her head.

Pepa nodded, and the cloud winked out of sight. She probably should have told Julieta what she was thinking, but she was almost afraid she wouldn’t come. That was ridiculous because Juli was always there for them.

When Bruno vanished after Mirabel’s failed Gift ceremony, they all knew that their mother would beg Bruno to do a vision, maybe see what it meant. Julieta was concerned, but Bruno had gotten into the habit of going missing for weeks sometimes. His door had been wavering a lot, but still Bruno always came back, and each time their mother would chastise him. And each time it would affect Bruno a little less. When he did not come out of his tower the following day for meals or anything, Julieta went to the tower stairs and could see the magical glow had left his door. Juli confided to Pepa once after he’d been missing for more than a week that he was getting up the courage to leave completely. After several days, she and Julieta made the long journey up those stairs, only to find the rope bridge had been cut. He really was gone this time, and they both cried for a long time as they sat on that ledge most of the day, looking at the door to that vision cave.

Pepa realized now what she had not back then. Just like Dolores, Juli always knew that Bruno was nearby and was choosing to be apart from them. This was something Bruno often said would happen one day. She also couldn’t tell Pepa because their Mamá now saw Pepa as the difficult one. Pepa also knew she would have likely outed her brother, as she was forced now to find ways to placate their mother. Though Julieta was saddened by the fact that Pepa went along with the whole not talking about Bruno thing, she did not judge.

Julieta, however, continued to mention their brother, though it was always in passing. As if to remind their mother that wherever he was, he was probably happier. That had led to Pepa’s senseless anger at the mere mention of his name, how dare he leave her here to deal with their mother alone. But of course, she was never really alone, Julieta made sure to remind her of that whenever the opportunity arose. Félix was her joy. He had given her three perfect children. So, it wasn’t until the house fell, and their mother returned with both Mirabel and Bruno, she felt the first pangs of regret.

What’s the first thing Bruno said to her after ten years in the walls? An apology for her overly wet wedding day. That meant he heard everything she'd said to Mirabel as she and her family tried to reinforce the no talking about Bruno rule.

Pepa looked over at her brother, he’d moved closer to the edge of the glade and was once again looking out over the town. Was he always that tiny? She walked to the edge of the glade, put an arm around him giving him a gentle squeeze. Bruno quirked a smile, and together they stood silently waiting for their sister to reappear.