#DAMN THAT GIRL IS FAT AS FUCK!!!!!! LMAO IMAGINE

[fakecats]

what the actual Fuck just found out that caligula effect the game i started 3 years ago then gave up on because of the insanely shitty graphics and dungeons that are just the same shit repeated for infinity was made by fucking SATOMI TADASHI. WHAT THE FUCK. HOW DID THE GUY WHO MADE PERSONA 2 ALSO MAKE FUCKING CALIGULA EFFECT IM ACTUALLY IN SHOCK

[vole-mon-amour]

2x07, part 1.

in a parallel universe Jinx and Ecco are TWINS??? Or was it just an expression? (Upd: probably just an expression, otherwise people would be screaming bloody murder about incest rn, lmao) Also, it's SO weird seeing this average Jinx and still hearing her cracked voice. Her mouth opens, but it doesn't match the tone of this Jinx.

And, damn, the spoilers were right. My girl deserves SO much better.

Hey, if all those people are alive, then Silco should be, too. WHERE IS MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER, SHOW HIM TO ME.

I think I'd love her in every universe.

Hey, does that mean Vi is either dead or insane? They can't be ALL 'normal' here?

???? If Silco isn't here, alive and well, I SWEAR TO THE FUCKING OUTSIDER.

??? Silco's place for her? Where. Is. Silco?

Ah huh! I was right. Love the "if Vi is alive, Powder turns to Jinx" allegory. And, basically, everything goes to shit. I'm afraid Silco might also be dead.

So Jayce needed to land there and Viktor wouldn't lost his humanity. Alas.

And if you love the journey More than the end, Go ahead <...> And where the chipps fall Is not your concern

I see you, Arcane. I see what you did there.

But of course, family is forever and all of that. Meh. At least in some universe she did die.

However, the idea that one of the sisters can't live in the world where another is alive/well/sane. The world is too small for the two of them at the same time.

Yeah, that's why Jayce's going to fuck it all up for everybody.

*looks in the camera like i'm in The Office* Jayce is straight, my ass.

He's kind of in Viktor's place rn. Viktor came out of slums and wanted to give it all to people. Jayce wants to destroy it all. The problem is, it is NOT real in his universe. Like, dude. Use your brain.

It's nice seeing the admission that Jinx is hella smart and does great things in 'our' universe. Terrible, but great.

The green in her blue eyes.

My question is, why are figures/what's left of people mechanical?After Hextech blew up in the universe that Jayce is in? Is it some sort of LoL lore? Therefore that's what Viktor becomes in the current universe after Jayce tried to kill him?

I love her.

Jayce and Viktor the first time they made the relic work... And it's the infinite sign. ;_;

There's something about Ekko, with professor and Jinx, inventing Hextech in this universe, while Jayce tries to destroy it. Honestly, dude would've been way happier if he landed where they are.

LOOK AT THIS PRECIOUS BABYGIRL. It's like when she was creating the thing for Silco with her braids in the air all around her.

The indicators were is that you died a horrible death.

If anything, I'm glad he got the chance to hug Benzo. I need this for SIlco and Jinx.

i was about to say that Silco wasn't mentioned even ONCE during this ep, but decided to wait until the end. the way i gasped. MY BELOVED!!

hey. hey, this isn't Silco (i know and love). the power of family is fucking bullshit, quit with this shit, s2.

when Jinx (well, Powder) and Ekko dance, that's where I roll my eyes and mentally gag. absolutely not. and if THIS is what prompts him to save Jinx in their timeline, then it's a big fat eugh for me.

pretty colours. it suits her.

i am SO imagining Jilco like this. my babies.

they.

Jayce, have you forgotten that you and your mom were dying in your universe?

Heimerdinger should've went back with Ekko.

[makomafu]

Everyone thinks will is Trans but let's be honest here; Frankie I'd trand while will's genderfluid. I don't make the rules

OIGHHGE you just reminded me to post my Queer HCs i fucking forgor

Creeps HCs (Queer edition oooo)

Laughing Jack

I honestly can see him being aroace and non binary. The idea of gender is one that isn't like deeply pushed upon his kind, he's a children's toy and that's what he sees himself as. Boy? Sure, Isaac's a boy, he can call himself that too

Girl? Why not

he sees himself as a toy, a children's toy. Made for entertainment, and friendship.

William Grossman

The reason i see him as a trans guy is cause 1) i am trans myself, 2) i can see him wearing clothes like Jessie Pinkman from Breaking Bad or Marshall Lee, he got the top surgery and his scars look pretty sick 🔥

TbH this headcanons is also heavily tied with Isaac because i like making SO many connections between those two. He's very proud of his gender and how he looks like, and he loves how he has Jack to make him company! Jack helps him get shots lol

Oh and he's also a bisexual disaster but doesn't get many bitches

Isaac: get a girlfriend Will!

Laughing Jack: or a boyfriend, he's bi!

Isaac: Damn nobody want u fr 😭

Laughing Jack: That's what i'm saying like 😭😭😭

Will: ;-;

Frankie The Undead

Ok it first started as a silly headcanon inspired by other people's but now i can actually see it

I see this man as a trans man, and a gay man. This man has been kissing dudes since the 40s. He used to have this lover back in the 40s he always wrote letters to, they've all been burned but he sometimes remembers those times. (Also this is the willfrank shipper in me talking but his past lover looked awfully similar to William)

He's also trans because i love transmasc characters that are old i love it. He doesn't bind because he doesn't feel like it, being fat also helps lmao. He loves his body, he just fucking hates the stitches <33

Isaac Grossman

I can't decide if this guy is aro, gay, or bisexual, he's too queer for me. YES, the guy people see as queerphobic is ironically the most queer in my eyes. Imagine the repression he went through from his teenage years to adulthood, the loneliness. He only had one person that could understand him, and it was Jack. With time he forgot he was ever accepted, as he forgot Jack.

He never found any "true love", but there was a man that sticked with him even after death.

Also, yeah, i think the biggest change i gave to his original story is that he's AFAB. How does Will exist? Well, only children weren't exactly common for poor families in the 1800s England. The isolation he felt most of his life, the constant struggle of thinking, knowing, that out of everyone around you, you're alone on this one.

Jack, again, was the only place he could've feel safe, if they just didn't kill that cat. What could've been.

This man is TRAUMATIZED and my angsty teen ass is the culprit

[takami-takami]

Ignore the character backgrounds because they can be used to psychoanalyse me 👀👀👀

The first one is a Jellyfish-based quirk named whose hero name is Jellia. She was my main OC around the time I introduced myself as one of your anon hence the anon tag. Her hair can take shapes into any jellyfishes she's ingested in the past (I fr think she'd vibe with Suneater and Fat Gum) and inherit their attributes and she's sort of buoyant in air and she kisses the floor that Gang Orca walks on. If there are no more Gang Orca fans in this world it's because she's dead. Originally made her to have the same age range with Hawks but now she's in the same age range with the students but has no pairing considering she's a child and I think it fits her jellyfish motif to be ace. She's got unresolved mommy issues. Like. How can she resolve it when her mum is dead? Also her maternal grandad hates her and compares her a lot to her dead mum lol.

BUT my now main OC is Miss Chief who I literally based all my c.ai RPs on is Miss Chief who has a Kitsune XI quirk (she's the most traumatised amongst my BNHA OCs because her entire family lineage is built upon quirk marriages 💀 she's the biggest Endeavor anti only 4th to Dabi, Natsuo and Shoto. She's not related to the Todoroki's but she'd fit right in). Literally a government dog (don't call her that tho she's not a dog :( she's a fox meant to be free in the wilderness (ok dog)). Trained in the HPSC with Hawks as a teenager so you can imagine why she's extra spicy in the head. My thought process of developing her is literally "Jellyfishes don't go into heat/rut cycles :( ik Hawks' quirk is not actually avian based BUT I gotta cover all bases and make her compatible with fanon Hawks too!!!" and so Miss Chief was born. Dug around my brain and remembered I had a nine-tailed fox OC once and was like !!! Oh. Yes. Anyway, she's crazy but she's best friends with Hawks so I feel like she has every right to be

Last one is just. ✨Me✨. It was a coping mechanism I was reaching a point in my course where I'm trying to study and understand pharmacokinetics and going like "damn why am I here just to suffer" so I made an OC whose quirk amplifies the pharmacokinetics of a person when she smacks her DNA into them. Think of it Stain does it. She's the least problematic since she's Recovery Girl's granddaughter. Her only problem is that she's fucking socially awkward around Hawks because she has the biggest fattest crush on him but cannot act upon it because he was her patient 💀. She met Hawks in the hospital while he was recovering and he was complaining about how his pain medications haven't kicked in yet and she just stares at him blankly, licked her palm and gave him a SMACK and was like "ok my job here is done" and he's just there like why did you smack me tf "unlike my grandma I don't kiss patients bye" and scuttles off and had to beg her manager to send her off for an early break and then put her somewhere else later. Literally drew and made lore about her in between me making notes from lectures LMAO

OHHHH I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEIR DESIGNS!!!!!! ADORE THEM.

[lemonthepotato]

So I finished Helluva Boss today. I like to make notes when I consume a piece of media. I never said those notes were peak maturity. Far from.

Enter.

Two seconds in: holy shit is that MORDERCAI?? 😰😰😰😰 no wayyyyyyyy.

And that kids, is how you traumatise a class of kids. I mean, I know I’m meant to feel bad for… whatever her name is, but those poor children 😭

HELP I LAUGHED LIKE AN IDIOT WHEN SHE THAT KID GOT CHOKEHELD IM A MONSTER OMG. IM SORRY 😭 it was just so funny 2 me I’m so so sorry.

She’s kinda hot tho when she’s a demon. Ngl.

I need the furry wolf’s number. IMMEDIATELY. I am DOWN BAD.

Is that fucking… stock horror music? HAHAHA- no no I’m imagining it, but imagine if it was.

HES BRITISH. THE BATHTUB GUY IS BRITISH.

BRUH. HES DOWN BAD, EVEN AFTER THE SHIT HES STILL RAMBLING ON?? HIRE A HOOKER!! GOD ITS ALWAYS… certain types of… I’m Irish, okay?!?! It’s a personal attack on me!

HAHAHA. L. L MOXIE L. The family just died anyway that’s a fucking LlLlLlLlLlL.

Closing thoughts: give me the satanic wolfs number immediately. I am down bad rn.

Rating: 3/5.

It kept me entertained, and hooked.

Episode 2:

This song reminds me of a particular band, I just don’t know what. There’s a certain “style” that’s familiar to it. I don’t know what.

Yeah I just. I saw that exact thing coming. Something going wrong, and something going wrong fast.

Octavia is just like me except my dad hates me and is just as unstable as my mom.

Okay so here’s my question: his eyes. Uhhh, the British bathtub guy. I forgot. It’s full red, is that his iris? How huge is his range of vision? Because MINE? Hun-knee, I have visual snow syndrome and shit eyesight, I’m nearsighted, this British fucker- see I’m Irish so this is a personal attack on me.

If you become a demon when you die, are their kids biological or did they die too?… dark thought.

Is there another… character that isn’t Moxie? Because I don’t care to remember his name tbh. So I’ll call him ‘Not Moxie’.

Blitzo, Stolas, I get it mixed up. And I can’t tell who Moxie is and who… the other one is. Moxie has a high voice, right??? I don’t know. I’ll learn it eventually.

Imagine your dad loving you. Couldn’t be me. Ever. Now I’m shedding. Skin or tears? You decide. (I shed my skin when emotional, like a snake. HISSSS)

Thoughts: Poor Via.

Ranking: 3/5. I liked it, I guess.

Episode 3:

God damn it why are all the female demons so hot. Damn you episode. I mean, *ahem* hello senora. ;)

I think my favourite characters so far are uh… what’s her name? Something -ica, and uh…….. the asshole. What was his name? Is he Stolas or Blitzo? I keep forgetting. 😭

Can I call her Titanic? No reason. She just looks like a… Titanic. Surely there are kids called that. (Rereading this I had a reason for this but I don’t fucking remember what the fuck?)

Blitzo. Gotta remember that. Blitzo. Ok. I’ve got it.

…UH OH. IVE BEEN CAUGHT. HELP THAT FOURTH WALL BREAK CREEPED ME OUT OK IM SORRY FOR BEING A SIMP IM SORRY.

Overall thoughts: None.

Ranking: 5/5. It was my favourite episode so far.

Episode 4

Uh… I liked how the piano switched places just to fall on his head? Yeah this episode kinda was meh.

2/5.

Episode 5:

Yeah I didn’t care much for this either.

2/5. Maybe I’m not paying attention enough.

Episode 6:

Okay so Red girl (what I’ve been calling in my head) is called Millie.

“Ee-dough” it’s pronounced Eh-doe period. In Japanese, ‘e’ means the ‘eh’ sound.

Is that. I was right, that’s just House Of Leaves or whatever?? It’s not bad to use horror stock music just funny.

Ohhh, Stolas is the bathtub guy. I think I’m developing a sexual attraction to him. Not as much as I was down bad for Loona. And the other one. Ika. I’m calling her Ika. Wait, Verosika?

Episode 7:

Okay… I am now realising that Moxie and Millie are married. I’m kinda dumb.

Season 2:

Lmao M&M.

HELP STOP GASLIGHTING MOXXIE INTO THINKING HES FAT EVERYONE IS SO MEAN TO HIM SHHSHSHS

Ah yes, the angel dust treatment. “Harder.”

Bro the pain of someone typing and then not responding.

Ok… why is season one episode 8 only out now? Huh? I don’t understand… (I checked the desc, nvm my words)

The mean girls reference XD.

I’ve heard of holding your breath, but not under honey?

The more I hear Kesha-

You: Her name is Beelzebub

Me: Anyway Kesha

The more I hear her, the more I might develop a Keshaccent. She’s cool but she seems like the kind of girl who would’ve bullied me for being autistic in high school.

So this takes place after uh… what happened again? I forgot. The night at the… lust club? Yeah whatever I forgot. Obvious from the start, just forget what exactly happened… anyway, how the fuck can Blitzo DIE ALONE?! HES IN HELL! You need a cold shower man…

Overall thoughts: I liked it. I’d give it a 7/10. I thought I wouldn’t like it, but I also thought that about XRA… I liked some characters, and even the ones that are like- beyond horrible people (like stella) I found entertaining to watch at the very least.

Pro’s:

- I liked the characters relationships with each other in various episodes. It made for comedic, or sometimes sad situations.

- I rarely found myself bored.

- It was pretty okay.

Cons:

- Some of the humour bordered on whiplash. Going from an emotional scene to comedic can be… really distracting. It wasn’t too much of an issue. I guess it’s intended as comic relief. Some of the humour was also immature which can throw some people off but I didn’t mind, I like vulgarity.

- Honestly, I can’t think of much else to critique. It was pretty good. It just didn’t impress me, or wow me, or make me feel much other than ‘oh, that’s sad’ or ‘oh, that’s funny’. But that’s okay.

Edit: I forgot to watch the pilot episode… and a new episode dropped today. So yeah, did that, been there. It’s been there did that, not… did that been- ugh why do I care about the semantics of this?

[dreamdropsystemarchive]

i feel so bad for you, you imagine yourself as a delicate little white girl but you're black and obese LMAO

XD no we're not white...yeah were fat and?? we only see ourselves how we are in headspace vs the body calm down asshole sorry we have a fucking eating disorder damn

[thirtyoneflirtingnoneanddying]

8.5

Johnny makes me want to absolutely vomit. He just said he feels like we would’ve been bros if I was a dude but I “had to be a ‘slim thick white girl with colored hair’” like I will absolutely commit suicide what are you fucking saying lmao

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING

Are you saying you think I’m cool BUT that’s it? Cause wtf why are you bothering me. Why are you saying I’m cute lmao

What the fuck is wrong here

I just feel like…damn do I come on strong? What’s going on? Do I seem desperate? Do I seem like I’m thirsty for attention? BITCH you’re the one with the pizza and ice cream lmao what is the problem

Are you calling me fat? Are you trying to throw me off your trail by saying you’re fat? Do you want me off your trail? If so why do you keep texting me?

He makes me feel autistic. Like I am not giving the right signals nor picking them up. I feel like I’m being tricked… like he’s holding the string that will pull the stick, trapping me under the box. The box is like shame and embarrassment for like thinking maybe I could love someone if they give me the fucking chance to lmao but again, I need to love myself and I need to love my son. Period. So like, okay.

BUT STILLLLLLLLLLLLL why are you doing this what’s the lesson? Don’t text back? Boring. Don’t get attached? Okay done cool but like woof imagine wanting to be seen as attractive by someone who in all reality is not on my level in many ways. Maturity being the first. Like emotional maturity, not playing with feelings and being fucking weird as shit

I just am like gagged at how men are like awful it’s wild as hell

[atopvisenyashill]

@transdimensional-void FOR SURE. idk how much of this is like early installment weirdness and how much is like The North Just Doesn’t Do That stuff, because even tho i’ve SEEN other people saying stuff line “i think we need to give in and admit george doesn’t care about lady’s courts like that” i feel like…..he DOES seem to care a little??? aksjdj like, i definitely think it’s not something he was quite aware of early on, and i do think he doesn’t write these women as being as influential as they should be, but by the time we get to feastdance, twoiaf, and f&b we have several! margaery her her cousins, cersei is trying to rebuild her own court, rhaenyra has ladies, alysanne has ladies, the maidenvault girls have companions, arianne had companions she is still friends with, seems implied myriah had companions, so it’s all like….well is he trying to say something about the north or is this something he’s going to retcon as being like A Ned Thing bc it didn’t occur to him that Ned should have had a bigger household until after the book was published?

but ANYWAY, it’s absolutely nonsensical that catelyn doesn’t suggest Ned bring some girls south to be ladies to sansa & help him look after the girls, ESPECIALLY since bran was supposed to come with too? like was septa mordane, who likes to get drunk and pass out at parties, supposed to be watching ALL THREE of those rascals????? crazy!!!!! i think a lot of the obvious choices are-

alys karstark

eddara tallhart

probably at least two mormonts, one for protection, one for company (maybe the company one is closer to arya’s age)

there’s like 4 flint houses, surely one of them have a daughter under the age of like 16

wylla or wynafryd manderly - i imagine they’d be coming with their grandfather, wyman

jonelle cerwyn - she’s quite old but medgar is said to be trying to push her off on someone & it’s possible having an older lady there might be helpful

one of anya waynwood’s daughters - she has several & with the jocelyn stark relation & anya’s head for politics it honestly doesn’t even make sense ned doesn’t ALREADY have one of her kids in winterfell lmao

MYRANDA AND YSILLA ROYCE. imagine if sansa had myranda from the beginning omg. randa would have sansa & arya fixed up right in no damn time!!!!

a flint, corbray, templeton, or rogers - USE YOUR COUSINS NED

merry, roslin, tyta, or fat walda frey - merry & tyta are from the blackwood branch which i imagine ned would like, walda is around the right age, and roslin is a rosby frey and they all love the starks.

one of jonos bracken’s daughters - as stated, he has several!!

one of the vance girls - again, there’s two branches and like six girls between them.

plus ALL of these houses have a son or uncle that needs a damn job - make him part of ned’s household!!!! i think this would really help undercut littlefinger; while i think the smartest thing to do here is clear out the lf loyalists in the gold cloaks, i don’t know if ned OR cat would think to do that (wyman probably would tho, esp if he gets to the capital and is like “oh fuck this baelish dude has his fingers in everyone’s pies”). those gold cloaks are DANGEROUS when you’re not sure who their loyalty is really tied to. better to have your own men to undercut them!!

okay fuck avoiding the dance how do we get ned out of the capital alive.

i think his main obstacle here is actually littlefinger and that’s hard to get around because ned has no real reason to distrust him besides littlefinger being skeezy, and catelyn trusts littlefinger

still, if i’m ned, and i get a letter saying there’s a conspiracy against my bestie and my wife is telling me i have to get involved, i’m contacting the closest thing to a southerner i know aka wyman manderly and going “hey can i have like. some spies. actually can you just come to the capital with me” and i’m telling varys that respectfully he’s fired. if i can’t fire him - why SHOULDNT i be able to but maybe robert is being annoying - i’m having manderly at every council meeting regardless.

it's probably harder to fire renly but i still think i'm bringing someone else i trust - a riverlander maybe, someone more In Tune With The South, like Jason Mallister perhaps - to at least shadow him and see if he's doing his job.

i get why he doesn’t want to tell sansa straight up not to trust the lannisters because what if she gives something away but not telling her anything is clearly a mistake. tbh i think even at the capital is slightly too late, he needs to tell her before they leave winterfell that they can’t be trusted. getting cat to do this is probably helpful, i do imagine she would listen more to her mother than her father about something like marriage and southron politics.

i feel the same about lady, i understand he doesn’t just try to sneak her back north because that would be difficult as fuck but if he just straight up says to robert’s face “if you want me to kill that wolf for you i’m taking my entire family back north and i’m coming back south to be your hand without my kids.” like call that man's bluff right away. i think robert shows in canon that he'll yell and scream at ned but he ultimately won't actually arrest ned for shit and ned should really push his luck here when it comes to lady because if robert can't back him up over a pet, well that says something you know.

but really - just avoid leaving sansa alone with joffrey and you can avoid this? actually wait - call up a mormont to be sansa’s sworn shield. i think alysane is pregnant at this point right, so call up dacey (or lyra? is lyra a warrior too?) and be like "STICK TO SANSA LIKE WESTEROS VERSION OF GLUE." handing sansa off is maybe not the best move parenting wise but it's one i think ned would realisticaly take - give her a peer or two that understand the danger and can explain it to her in a way she understands easier. but also - have CATELYN explain to sansa literally anything.

also, get her the harp tutor she wants so she has something to focus on besides joffrey.

send someone you trust, like jory or even the blackfish (someone stannis would respect) to stannis to be like "why did you cut and run you fuck???? get your ass back here i need some goddamn help." if he refuses, pull rank because why is this man disappearing so suspiciously and not telling anyone???

the MOMENT there's a problem - something goes wrong on the trident, something is even vaguely fishy at the capital - tell robb and cat to call the banners in the north and riverlands. i'm dead ass here. maybe it's not subtle - can you do this subtlely? if you can, do it that way - but i just think it's better to not fuck around here when all you have is a letter from lysa saying "something's fucky."

DON'T TELL CERSEI YOU KNOW ABOUT THE INCEST BEFORE YOU GRAB HOLD OF THE CAPITAL. I would honestly grab her kids, force them onto a boat, and tell her "get on the boat right now or robert will kill you all and i won't be able to stop him." don't give her a choice, don't give her a chance to regroup.

[erforschen]

Well here I am again. Haven’t been on tumblr in a really fat minute but I was reading some old logs and thought I’d write here. It’s the beginning of the year and around this time I usually get this sense of motivation and stuff. I feel like I have so much to say yet I have no idea where to start. My 20s are interesting so far. I feel like time is moving fast and I have this little voice in the back of my head constantly telling me that time is slipping away or something. I really can’t believe it’s been almost 10 years since 2014. I keep saying that quarantine really messed things up and made time move strangely and we kinda lost out on all of that time. I feel like I need to talk about my career/goals, and sexuality (lol) a bit.

My sexuality is so fucking whack. Like why is this even a thing that I have to even think so much about for the past 10 years. Like what? Anyway, idk. I guess as time goes on I just imagine myself with a girl less and less. Even though I don’t really like girls that much. And I’ve always liked guys more than girls. It’s just kinda fucked but at the same time it’s like who cares I’m literally gonna die one day and nothing will matter. One thing about me these past couple years is I’ve really just stood my ground more with my beliefs or things like that. I’m not trying to do what makes other people happy as much anymore? I feel like it doesn’t sound right when I explain it but it makes sense in my head. Like I don’t care if people know about my sexuality… I’ve literally told a bunch of people. It just kinda sucks that I (because of my mom) have felt like I need to hide it or I at least just can’t be open or direct about it. I want to have a family and kids and a mother for them and be like a normal family but how is that going to work when I’m just not that interested in girls? There are certain girls that I would literally have kids with and I’m like damn I want to be in a relationship with them but it’s like rare. I’m way more attracted to guys. It’s really shit being bi (but more gay) in a way. So yeah that’s been on my mind forever but I think lately it’s been coming to the forefront as I’m getting older and accepting myself more and realizing things. It’s just whack that I was born like this when everyone around me wasn’t and I’m like wow nice cards I was dealt but at the same time I think there are a lot of pros to the way I was born too. I think there are a lot of great attributes that come from being lgbt. It’s weird for me to even refer to myself as lgbt. Like I’ll think these things but seeing it in writing is weird. I’ve been with guys but I’ve barely been with girls in any way. And I still want to be with girls and try it out and all that but kinda sucks when there’s not a huge drive to do so. I had a thing with a guy recently and that was just a whole experience and I could go on about that in another log. I’m glad it happened because it was the first romance I’d had but it was short lived and kinda ended strange. But another thing is like… when I’m on… a certain app… I’ve literally sent face pics (not disappearing) and like told a guy who I was (when we met) and like I’ve literally been on tinder for guys. So yeah. Big step for me cause it just shows how far I’ve come with accepting myself and being more public. I mean I’ve always thought (or maybe always as in like the past year or two) that if I was famous I’d be 100% open about my sexuality. Honestly I think if there just wasn’t that part of me that wanted kids and a normal family then I’d just be like ahhh I’m gonna have a husband and no kids. Honestly I’ve just really been imagining myself with guys lately though. Maybe I can have a bi gf and we can play around. LMAO. This is honestly the most whack log I’ve written on here. ANYWAY LETS MOVE ON TO GOALS

So my 20s are interesting… not tons of action, living at home and not really going after my dreams as much as I’d like… (I’m actually really happy and in a good place so don’t let this come across as if I’m like depressed or having a pity party)… but yeah like I just wish I would’ve studied or lived abroad and moved to nyc and just gone after all the things I wish I’d done. But hey I’ve done a lot of cool things in my life already. I’m working on music now but this voice in the back of my head is like… will it go anywhere… but like I truly believe it could. I hope I release music this year. Just gotta figure out how to be good at producing music lol. Also I want to work on the docuseries I’ve been thinking of. I feel like time is really flying though and I want to get all this stuff done but I also need that constant motivation and drive to do it. Also, I’ve really just not been into acting. I don’t really see it being a part of my future tbh. Don’t get me wrong I love the film world and I’d love to be a successful actor working on projects that I love but it just hasn’t been working out and I haven’t had the drive to want to keep doing it. And honestly at this point I’m like ehh whatever. Just crazy how you have all these visions for your future or things you want to do and then like life just has a completely different idea for you.

I really feel braindead at the moment so maybe I’ll come back later and write more when I collect my thoughts and don’t have to go to bed.

1.8.23 3:36am

[burnedbyshoto]

sleeping beauty

— You struggle to find a time to have sex with your beloved Aizawa. Unfortunately or fortunately, the only time you can fuck him is when he’s deep asleep.

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pairing: aizawa shouta x yandere fem!reader

warnings: 18+, smut, pwp, yandere!reader, non-con somnophilia, hairy aizawa rights, recording

word count: 4,201

a/n: mark ur calendar, im getting my nipples pierced nov 8. you bet ur ass imma write a bunch of nipple pierced readers from there on out. pray that my family never finds out about my nipples tho LMAO if they do,,, it;ll be ripped out of my boobies without a seconds hesitation

kinktober day 19 main kink: somnophilia | kinktober masterlist

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Aizawa was always busy.

Over the past ten years of knowing him, the two of you had been close. You were a good friend to him, someone he wouldn’t absolutely avoid at all costs when you walked through the hallways of UA, someone he wouldn’t mind rambling to him about their long day. Of course, you knew that you weren’t his closest friend, and to a certain degree, that upset you.

You had met Aizawa when you had first been a high school student; at the time, you were merely fifteen years old. He was twenty, only five years older than you, but he took your breath away from the first team-up. He had been tall, dark, and brooding, and your little coming out of an emo phase heart stood no chance. But, due to the age discrepancy, he was never anything more than a team member. Still, you held on.

You graduated from high school, made your impact as a sidekick, graduated to a Pro Hero, and offered a job at UA by the time you were twenty! So, for the past five years, you and Aizawa had been actual co-workers, and better yet, friends.

Aizawa indeed was one of a kind.

He still held the key to your emo school girl fantasy daydream, but you also discovered new sides and angles of him. You learned he was incredibly kind, thoughtful, and looked out for everyone, even if his gruff and sometimes rude mannerisms spoke otherwise. Although he tried to avoid any type of nonsensical drama like the plague, he was always caught up in it, which often amused you.

There was so much about Aizawa that you loved, so much that you adored and looked up to that it was no surprise that you figured your feelings of respect and admiration became love. 

True, deep love.

As a third-year teacher at UA, you found that your interactions with Aizawa were quite limited. Not only because he was always being placed with a first-year class and said class moving on without him — something that only happened because he kept expelling the damn students — but because he was incredibly close with the first-year teachers.

You loved Present Mic and Midnight and All Might, don’t get it wrong! Your admiration, love, and respect for them were unprecedented, but you hated how much of Aizawa’s time they took.

“Sorry, Mic needs help with lesson plans for my class,” Aizawa apologized for postponing your lunch date, not a date.

“Sorry, Midnight needs help separating the problem children. Apparently, they’re growing an immunity to her quirk,” Aizawa grumbled, shoving his phone into his pocket before leaving your office where you both had been talking and drinking tea.

“Sorry, All Might—”

“It the class, your problem children, I get it,” you force a smile onto your face, trying not to show just how irritated and disappointed you were on how these days were going. Aizawa pauses for a second, his tired, dried out eyes trying to read and uncover the depths of emotions swimming in your eyes before he sighs and runs off. 

But it went without saying that the people you hated most were Class 1-A.

The damn stupid, fucking, ungrateful class had already caused your beloved Aizawa to be hospitalized. The scar under his eye, a numbing reminder that you had nearly lost him, almost had to cry at his coffin with your feelings never once being uttered. They, without a doubt, took up his time the most.

He saw potential in all of them, none of them being failed or expelled by him thus far.

He spent countless hours up in the dead of night tracking each and every one of his student’s potential. Slaving away at his tablets to make sure that they all were feeling safe, heroic, and above all, they were headed to their individual greatness. So, although it would be two more years before you would have the opportunity to teach this class, you already had a vendetta against Midoriya Izuku and Bakugou Katsuki. Those little shits always taking up your precious Aizawa’s time! He had never been this tired prior to them showing up!

But you never tried to think about it when you were with him.

You tried to openly accept your Aizawa’s new, incredibly busy schedule, and the moment the dorms appeared within UA, you found yourself more at ease.

To be frank, since you acknowledged your love for Aizawa at the mere age of twenty, and now at twenty-five, you had never taken on a lover or a one night stand. For years you had not allowed a person to grace you in bed or in their arms. It felt like you were betraying your love, and you would rather die than let that happen. 

But the thing is, you are human, entirely susceptible to waves of uncontrolled horniness and lust.

In the beginning, sex toys worked.

You would press a vibrator to your clit, your toes digging into the mattress as your other hand shoved a silicone dildo into your aching, needy cunt. At first, it worked! You would cum with the thoughts of Aizawa being the dildo buried deep within you. 

But eventually, you would find yourself at the peak of that orgasm, you knew the orgasm was right beyond the bend, just a step more, but you couldn’t get there. For weeks you realized that the vibrator, the dildo, and your fantasy thoughts weren’t enough. So, in your frustration, you began to search up audio plays of his narration at UA Sports Festival. Listening to his voice, ignoring Mics’ voice, to help coax you over that bend.

For a while, you were back to normal. Your highs and juices splattering all over your bed, a symbol of your lust and love for Aizawa as you gasped his name, wishing that the audio was real. But eventually, even the audios weren’t enough.

You craved Aizawa’s warmth, the feeling of his rough stubble against your sensitive skin, the throbbing of his cock buried deep within your womb, undoubtedly kissing your cervix. You wanted him; you needed your beloved.

As if by the grace of God, the moment you could no longer bring yourself to cum through that alone, the dorm system was put into place. And you, a teacher, were required to live on campus too. You tried not to think of Aizawa being a dorm away, tried not to feel the warmth fluttering under your skin when the two of you bid goodnight for the day.

You definitely tried to stay out of his room in the middle of the night.

God, you wish you could say that you stayed out of his room, but that would be a lie.

A big fat fucking lie.

It had started out innocently enough, you will claim.

You would see the exhausted man wave goodnight, grumbling that he needed to sleep now or else he would not wake up on time for homeroom tomorrow morning. You waved goodnight to him, trying to stay engrossed in a conversation you were having with Hound Dog. But an hour after Aizawa had gone to bed, you found yourself rushing away from the common room, explaining you had something to grade as you bid everyone goodnight.

Without a doubt, you ended up in Aizawa’s room that night.

In the darkness of the night, you watched the moonlight barely breach the thickness of his curtains to fall onto his face. You felt so warm as you stared at his slumbered face, your cheeks flushed as you watched his parted, chapped lips. You felt so light watching his chest rise and fall in a hypnotizing rhythm, reminding you that he is real, so very, very real. A part of you aching, knowing that he was entirely real and yet not yours. But still, you admired the way he looked so young, so intense, so ethereal as he dreamed.

You loved him.

Eventually, when you decided to leave, you pressed a kiss to his lips, smiling at the way his lips were exactly as you had imagined:

Supple, warm, and tasting of his mint toothpaste.

But the nightly visits didn’t stop there.

Most nights, you found yourself in his room, laying by his side, merely watching as he slept. No orgasm in the world felt quite as fulfilling as the quiet that came with just watching the over-exhausted Aizawa sleep. 

But this is not a story of simple love, no, not at all.

Eventually, you began to grow bold. Your fingers sinking into your wet cunt, playing with your sensitive clit as you watched him sleep. You bit your lip to keep yourself from moaning as a rasped breath expelled from his mouth. You nuzzled into the warmth of his body heat through at you and only prayed he would one day acknowledge and return your affections.

To be quite honest, you’re not sure when you began to suck him off too.

Maybe it was the first time his cock grew long and hard in the middle of the night, his mind undoubtedly having a wet dream. So, as his beloved, you only thought it was appropriate to give his body what he wanted. With the skills and intentions that could only arise from being a gifted Pro Hero, you pulled the blankets from his body and pushed his cock through the slit in his boxers, and took him all in your mouth.

His cock was absolutely mouthwatering too.

So big, so thick, so incredibly veiny that you nearly lost all control the first time you saw it in all its glory. He was better than any dildo you owned, his scent alone driving you crazy. And so, as you should, you began to fuck him, completely addicted to his aroma, taste, and touch.

After the first night, you continued to blow him. Continued to suck him off as Aizawa let out sleepy moans, grunts that were strained, his body shifting unknowingly as you continued to go up and down his length, continuing to relieve him of his stress. 

But you were human.

A human with needs and desires, and eventually, his cum coating your throat and filling your stomach wasn’t enough anymore. Which is where we find ourselves now, unashamedly fucking Aizawa each and every night, your cunt swallowing him whole, without a single shred of doubt of what was wrong with this.

There wasn’t anything wrong with this, and you knew that even if he was asleep the entire time you fucked him, it was for the better.

“Wow, Eraser!” Mic yelled from your side as you sat on the couch next to your beloved best friend. “You look like you’re glowing!”

Looking up from your phone, attempting to portray yourself as curious and unknowing, you found your gaze falling onto Aizawa, who had returned from an early evening training session with his class. As a matter of fact, Aizawa’s face was glowing; he looked incredibly much more relaxed, much more than he has been since the beginning of this semester.

“What do you mean?” Aizawa asked, evidently unimpressed as a lone eyebrow raised.

You watched on quietly, lips pressing to your cup as you took a drink of your tea as he sank onto a seat in front of you. 

“Wait, don’t tell me, listeners!” Mic gasped dramatically, his hands pressing to his cheeks as he stood up. His expression of shock and disbelief curling and becoming one of knowing and understanding. “Does our grouchy, one and only, Aizawa Shouta, a.k.a. Eraserhead, have a special someone?!”

“Mic—” Aizawa snapped, his eyebrows furrowing.

“There definitely has been an after-sex glow that Eraser has had for the past few weeks. He did say that he’s been feeling more… ahem, relaxed,” Midnight gasped, seemingly appearing from nowhere, incredibly interested in the rumor of Aizawa having sex. 

“Just because I’ve been feeling less tense doesn’t mean that I’m having sex.”

You giggled into your cup as the three of them began arguing, Mic and Midnights naturally loud noise quickly drowning out Aizawa’s fruitless attempts to shut down any sexscapades they were coming up with. 

“Y/h/n, what do you think?!” Mic yelled, his hand pointed at you as if holding a microphone as Aizawa had him pressed and tangled within his capturing weapon. “Is Shouta-chan having sex?!”

Yes, your mind begs to say, but your mouth curls into a teasing smile, eyes locking onto Aizawa’s annoyed golden ones. 

“I don’t think there’s anyone on this earth that Aizawa currently wants to fuck six feet into the mattress when he’s so busy,” you chide, your smile never entirely disappearing. At the same time, you take a long slow drink from your cup while everyone else (Mic only, really) continued to scream.

But you stayed there for the rest of the evening, working in silence with the rest of the group as next week’s lessons were laid out. Through a persistent, entirely stubborn will, Mic managed to get Aizawa to admit that he hasn’t had sex since the time he lost his virginity, to which Mic admitted to having had sex via orgies only. Midnight proudly announcing that she had a side piece at her disposal. 

So as you checked through your lesson plans for the ethics book your students would be reading next week, you shouldn’t have been surprised to see their expectant gazes on you.

“I had sex last night,” you admit, unable to lie under their amused gazes.

“WITH WHO?! ARE YOU SNEAKING SOMEONE ON CAMPUS?!”

For the rest of the night, you smiled brightly, laughing with the rest of them all as talks and stories revolving around sex filled the air. It lasted until past midnight, and with a heavy sigh, Aizawa excused himself first. You waved goodnight, and soon Midnight left, followed by Mic.

You stayed on the couch, your own attention focused heavily on the time and not what you were supposed to be doing. It didn’t take much before the time faded from 00:00 to 01:45, and with a brush of your skirt, you headed precisely where you wanted and needed to be.

The walk to his second-floor room filled you with lust. Your body, like some Pavlovian dog, trained and knowing that you were about to fuck the love of your life while he slept. He was so beautiful while he slept, a true sleeping beauty. You especially thought he was stunning when he bit his lower lip, stifling a moan despite his heavy slumber.

Without so much as a second thought, you apparated into his room, your feet cushioned by the soft carpet of his room. And with a smile that was dripping with your love, you stared at Aizawa’s sleeping form. He was already deep in sleep, his body positioned on his back as if he knew what you were doing, accepting the inevitable actions you would take tonight as you did every night. He just looked so calm, so beautiful, so youthful when asleep. The scar under his eye almost invisible 

But unlike most nights where he slept in a soft cotton long-sleeved shirt and sweats, you froze at the sight of the tight black t-shirt on his sleeping form, the shorts that were riding just the slightest bit too low on his sturdy, muscled hips. Your bit your fist, a bubbling heat of lust, and a whine tickling the back of your throat as you take in his sleeping form.

He was doing this on purpose.

Teasing you with this outfit on his sleeping body.

You huffed, inexplicably turned on as the small puffs of air past his lips seemed to thunder around the room.

You were wet already, so very wet.

“You’re so mean, Shouta-kun,” you whimper softly, your voice silent and unheard by his sleeping form. You walk closer to the bed, lips pulled into a pout as you sit on the soft mattress.  “Dressing up like that, I know you did that to tease me!”

Aizawa doesn’t respond because, of course, he’s asleep. But you smile regardless, imagining a million and three things he would say in response, each leading to what you wanted to do so desperately.

“I hope you know you were lying when you said you haven’t had sex since you were twenty,” you sigh, your fingers expertly removing his shorts and boxers from around his waist, using your quirk to make them reappear to the side of him. “We have sex practically every night; you’re so horny, my angel.”

You watch with a curling smile as his cock immediately begins to stiffen against your warm breaths, his face scrunching in his slight discomfort as his cock grows and grows. His cock is undeniably one of your favorite parts of his body. It’s pale in color, paler than the rest of his body, but as it extended to the swollen thickness of his head, it grew darker, the flushed brown pinkness of his head making you salivate at the memory of the first time you ever saw it. His cock, unlike the rest of his scarred body, was unharmed, unmarred by the horrors of the job the two of you held. The thick, beautiful smoothness of his skin, making your eyes flutter in unadulterated lust, his cock a symbol of your pure, unmarked love for him. You hum, hand grasping his length and lazily stroking him as your head tilts, reading his sleeping features for any sign of him enjoying this as much as you do.

“Aww, Shouta-kun, I wish you knew I fuck you. I bet you would turn bright red, knowing that I ride you every night. Maybe you’d use that weapon of yours to teach me a lesson or two,” you mumble, your hand gripping his cock harder as you stroke him.

A small glistening drop appears at the slit of his dick, and you shiver in excitement; he was already leaking pre-cum. 

“Look at you, already ready to have my cunt wrapped around that big cock of yours,” you mewl, absolutely ready to mount him, prepared to have his sleeping form cum deep within you. You stand up, removing your shorts and panties, and climbing onto the bed.

With the balance of a pro, you get yourself hovering over him, your already wet cunt shivering with the expectance of having him deep within you. Your hand on his cock never once stopping as you tease yourself against his swollen head, your voice a pathetic whimper as your slick mixes with his clear pre-cum.

“S-See how embarrassing you are!” you huff, rutting his length between his folds, lubing him up for the initial entrance because, by god, it still hurt. “Making my pussy so wet! I’m practically dripping all over you!”

There’s only a soft breath from his lips, but you grin as if he was speaking to you.

“You want me too, huh?” you giggle, and without further adieu, you sink against him.

His cock entering your tight cunt was still as mind-numbing as the first time. His cock easily buries into the small, thin wall of your cervix, and you tremble as his length stretches and pulls at your throbbing core. You can feel every curve in his cock, every vein, every gentle throb.

“Glad t-to know you find me… nnghh… find me i-irresistible,” you pant, face flushed with your desire to adjust quickly around him.

The conversation from tonight had made you entirely weak in the knees and hot at your core, knowing that you were the only one to really have claimed Aizawa, the only one who would ever know how his sleeping body craved you as much as you desired him.

You give a tentative swirl of your hips, your eyes trained on Aizawa’s relaxed ones, testing to see how tired and sleepy he was. There was no reaction, no movement outside of the typical grunt at the back of his throat. It was a noise he always made when you first moved with him, a noise that quickly seared in the back of your memory forever.

Shifting your weight to be more comfortable on your knees, your hot hands fall onto his tight chest, and with a sigh of pure relief, you begin to fuck him.

Your straddling aided the deep penetration, allowing for the gentle kiss of the tip of his leaking cock to your thin cervix wall. You clenched tightly around him, unable to keep yourself from doing so as you rode him, the feeling of his throbbing member within you absolutely breathing taking as you placed your claim on him again, again, and again.

Aizawa was fully sheathed within you, and your fingers twisted and pulled at the tight fabric of his shirt, raising it up so that you could admire his taut, tense abdomen, mewling at the way he’s happy trail was thick and bushy. You wondered how he would react to your fingers threading through his body hair, if he would love it; if he would hate it. 

“I want you to know how much I love you, how much I would give everything to you!” you whimper, your head fighting the instinct to throw itself back as you begin to drop onto his still cock faster and faster. “I wish you knew that you fuck me so good, Shouta-kun; I need you to know that! But you won’t even look at me! You won’t spare me a single second of your busy day, so that’s why I have to fuck you at night!”

Tears of both pleasure and hurt well into your eyes; you sniffle as you fuck him faster, dropping onto his awaiting cock with more significant, more aggressive slaps. The sounds echo throughout the room, the musky, sweet smell of your sexes is the only thing keeping you sane — that and the grunting noises that Aizawa keeps emitting, it makes your toes curl and belly flutter in a funny way.

“I bet you’ll fuck me so good once I get you to love me! You’ll never stop fucking me, you’ll never want to leave me because only I know how to fuck you correctly!” you snap, anger and lust licking through your tone, making your eyebrows furrow and your walls to clench even tighter around him. The building tension in your stomach is like a fire, and you can feel your high coming. “But you fuck me so good, baby, so good and you’re not even awake!”

And for the first time, you watch in electrifying pleasure as a low, husky, raspy moan leaves his throat as you fucked him. The sound alone was something downright pornographic to you, and the whine that spills from your mouth is nearly inaudible with the pitch it vibrates at. So without so much as a second thought, a bubbling smile spreads on your face, and you continue on, energy and excitement doubled in your joy.

Your hips roll, rise, and fall against his with growing force and speed. The small creaks of the mattress completely ignored by you as the throbbing and twitching of his cock buried deep within you keeps you pushing for more. The heat and pressure in your belly grow exponentially, festering and burning until you can feel yourself at the tipping point until you can’t do anything but focus on Aizawa and only Aizawa, or else you would scream his name in your euphoria.

The veins on his cock and the overall girth of his length send your mind spinning, not at all helping your predicament, and in a last-ditch effort to keep yourself from crying so loudly you would wake up even the dead, you lean forward. Your sweaty body leaning down to his parted chapped lips as you kiss him to keep yourself silent as your orgasm crashes through you in a blissful wave. Your body spasms almost uncontrollably, the nerves and firing axons through your body uncontrollable as you lay there, allowing for Aizawa to cum before you leave. You shudder at the feeling of his cum emptying out within you, his cock immediately softening as you lay there on top of him. His heart racing with his orgasm, and you sigh contentedly.

“God, I love you so much, Aizawa Shouta; I’ll make you mine one day,” you swear, your nose nuzzling his stubbled cheek.

You lay there for some time, enjoying the way he feels in you, content with the pooling cum from your still spasming cunt. But eventually, you pull away. You pull on your panties and shorts quickly, not wanting a single drop more of his cum to seep out of you. Unable to help yourself, you lick the leftover cum on his cock clean with your tongue before wiping him down with a towel to prevent the smell from clinging.

Your eyes study Aizawa’s face just before you leave, and your smile.

He really does look less tired after orgasming.

But the entire time you were there — the whole night you fucked him and spoke to him — you missed the red blinking light of the camera recording in the corner of the room.

[hops-hunny]

Hello?

Pairing: Neville Longbottom x Black!Reader

Word Count: 2.9k

Request: N/A

Summary: Neville and (Y/n) get high together often.

Warnings: drugs( weed lmao), swearing, making out

A/N: This was based on the specific lyric below from Hello? by Clairo ft Reji Snow. Pothead confident Neville is my favorite headcanon dfregfefe. I also felt like writing for Neville bc after reading a lot of @lxngbottom​‘s fics I was DEEPLY inspired.

“Are you into me, like I'm into you?

Do you wanna do the things I wanna do with you?

You're so close, and yet so far

I wonder how you look when you're in the dark”

The Weasley siblings all found themselves in absolute bliss when their parents told them they were going on a getaway. Apparently Arthur had learned about muggle spas and thought it’d be a lovely idea to take his wife to one for a much needed vacation after many years she had been caring for her children (and sometimes their guess) without barely any breaks. The gaggle of gingers all found it to be quite a wonderful idea too, but for other reasons. Although they had varying reasons of why they were excited for their parents to leave the house, Ron’s being wanting to invite over the other ⅔ members of the Golden Trio, Ginny wanting to wear that skirt that her mum always told her was ‘just a tad too short, dear’, and lastly Fred & George wanting to try out new and exciting inventions there was that one thing that tied them all together: wanting to get blazed out of their fucking minds. 

However, as quickly as that mischievous glint formed in all their eyes, their mother said something they all dreaded.

“Oh and by the way, we’re leaving Percy in charge!”

A collective groan was shared as the boy in question held a proud and cocky smirk that once again, he was the most trusted out of his siblings. However as per usual, Fred and George were not giving up that easily.

“What are we going to do?! You know Percy will rat on us!” Ron whispered yelled at the other three through gritted teeth. They all sat around the quaint little living room, distressed at what to do. Ron had already sent a text (is that what they were called? He wasn’t used to the muggle technology (Y/n) had got them all to use) to both Hermione and Harry telling them to pack their bags. He’d never live it down!

“Oh relax dear brother of mine! Me and Freddie here suspected something like this would happen so we came prepared. Right Fred?” George said with a smirk as he looked to his twin to the right of him. George nodded before pulling out an envelope.

“Exhibit A also known as ‘Blackmail dear Percival Into Leaving the House for the Summer.” he grin grew wider as he opened the envelope pulling out the photos. In the photos, Percy was shirtless during a party in the gryffindor common room. He had a half drunk bottle of fire whiskey in one hand and a blunt in his other which was held to his lips. “Wouldn’t it be a shame if dear ol’ mum and pop anonymously got pictures of their golden boy doing such awful acts?” he cooed, feigning a voice of disappointment.

“While you two idiots may not be helpful for jack shit else, leave it up to you to have a plan to get into trouble.” Ginny said rolling her eyes, a small smile forming on her face. “Well I guess that’s settled then. I’ll hit up (Y/n), Ron you hit up Nev and tell him to bring the loud. Lots of it too!”

-------------------------------------

That’s how they all ended up where they are currently. ‘Exhibit A’ was more than enough to get Percy packing his bags and leaving for a friends house after their parents had left. And of course, Hermione, Harry, (Y/n), and Neville had all shown up at the Burrow bright and as happy as ever. 

Although many people dealt around Hogwarts, Neville’s weed was always the best. He grew custom strains which were infused with other magical plants that had all sorts of properties. You wanted it to taste and smell like cheesecake? Done. Something odorless that packed a mean punch? Also done. He took good care of his product and went through the precautions to make sure it was not only safe but also that he didn’t get caught. He wasn’t always an avid weed smoker though. Originally, a friend had suggested it to him to help with his anxiety which had increased over the years but eventually it became less of an anxiety reducer and more of a favorite pastime. And hell, it left him with a pretty fucking nice amount of galleons in his pocket. It was also how he had met her.

He looked up at her form as she sat across the shed, looking as radiant as ever. She was laughing at something but he didn't know what over the sound of the music. One of his favorite things about her was how beautiful the whiteness of her smile was in comparison to her rich brown skin. It drove him absolutely nuts. It had only been a few weeks since he last saw her but as usual there was something new about her appearance.

He let his eyes wander over the work of art that was (Y/n). Her hair was different, her usual shoulder length black box braids had been swapped our for a beautiful set of honey blonde faux locs that stopped at her waist. In addition to her septum, she now had a nose ring on the left side of her nose and- was that a smiley piercing? Her skin was glowing vibrantly under the different hues of gold of LED lights that corresponded with the music. His eyes shifted down to her chest. 'Hm, she finally got the other one pierced' he noted due to the fact that her crochet bikini top left only the best bits of her breast to the imagination. And then he got to his favorite part. Her legs. Her supple, plush, smooth as glass legs. This wasn’t the first time he had stared at them longer than needed. He couldn’t help it, they were so fucking thick. And, were those his shorts? She must've stolen them from him last smoke sesh. He didn't mind though, she pulled off those denim shorts well and they hugged her in all the right fucking places.

“Bloody hell Nev, what’s taking you so long to roll the joint? Are you already that gone?” Ron groaned as he threw his head back. Neville looked down at the half rolled blunt in his hands, continuing to lick and roll it skillfully.

“Shut up Ron, just hit the fucking bong and leave Neville alone. Ol’ dramatic ass.” there was that honeysuckle voice he loved. God he could listen to her talk for fucking hours. I mean he had before. Her voice was sweet in the center and rough around the edges, a thick american accent still prominent in her voice. He smiled at that, looking up at her to find her already looking at him. As he continued to roll, he licked a fat strip on the wrap before shooting her a wink. 

“Thank you, petal.” he murmured quietly knowing she hadn’t heard as he looked back down at his hands finishing up. He grabbed the same lighter that he carried with him everywhere before lighting the end. As he was about to take a hit, a certain pair of gloss coated lips leaned over his shoulders taking a hit as she wrapped her arms around his upper half. 

Ron groaned again in irritation. “I hate it when you get the first hit! You always leave that damn sticky shit all over the blunt.” as he glared at the girl. She giggled before crawling off the wraparound couch taking her place next to brunette ruffling his long shaggy hair. He had been growing it out recently for no particular reason (definitely not the girl to his right).

“Ron you always buggin on something, nigga shut the fuck up! That’s why when you hit the blunt you leave it wet. Ol’ soppy mouth nigga I swear to god. Share with Mione.” she retorted as she leaned into Neville’s side looking up at him. He smiled down at her before wrapping his arm around her bringing her impossibly close. They both loved each other's touch when they were high. Whenever he’d touch her in one spot, (Y/n) always felt it in another- especially between her legs. She leaned up, kissing his freckled cheek with a smile. “Hey sir, how’s my favorite doing today?” she questioned as he bent down, placing a kiss right below her ear. 

“You know I’m always content when you’re next to me, flower. You don’t even have to question it.” he whispered in her ear before pulling back. She felt her face heat up as she rolled her eyes shoving him lightly. She crawled in his lap, straddling him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He instinctively moved one to her waist, stroking the smooth exposed sepia skin that was there for his enjoyment.

“You always talking some mess, Nev. Why don’t you do something bout it?” she said, motioning for him to hold the blunt up to her lips. He ignored her, looking into her eyes as he took a fat rip. He removed his hand from her waist, gripping her cheeks with it, rings digging into her skin. He leaned impossibly close as he shot gunned the smoke into her mouth. His lips hovered impossibly close to hers. ‘Finally’ she found herself thinking as she closed her eyes. However, the feeling of his soft pink lips never hit hers and she opened her eyes to find him smirking at her.

“And ruin this little game we have? Never.” He said, finally passing the blunt to her. If he had to be honest with himself, he was scared shitless. He was afraid if he actually did make that final move, jumped that final obstacle that she would be gone from his life. Sure, they made out all the time. It was normal for the two of them to get quite handsy with each other during smoke sessions but he found not even that being enough. He didn’t just wanna have his hands on her when he was high or wasted out of his fucking mind, he wanted her all the time. He wanted to sneak into each other's dorms and cuddle till wee hours of the morning. To carry her things to class for her. He wanted to live, breathe, and sleep (Y/n). But, is that what she wanted? He never knew. 

She sighed softly to herself, contemplating. It was very apparent to her that Neville wanted her just as badly as he wanted her. So, why had he never jumped the gun? Did he not want more? Was he really content with this little cat and mouse game they had? He couldn’t be, she knew who he was at heart which was a romantic just as she was. She was pulled from her thoughts as she heard the familiar beat of Hello? by Clairo ft Reji Snow. She smirked at him, leaning her forehead against his as she began to grind softly on his lap.

“Are you into me? Like I’m into you. Do you wanna do the things I wanna do with you?” she sung to him softly, her (e/c) eyes meeting his hazel ones. He moved his hands up and down her body as she continued to grind her hips down on his. He let his hands travel to her ass, gripping it firmly. She leaned back slightly as she hit the blunt before returning the favor he had earlier. “You’re so close, and yet so far. I wonder how you look when you’re in the dark.” (Y/n)  continued singing as kissed up his neck, nibbling at the junction of his jaw and neck. He took one of the hands from her ass, moving some of the locs that had fallen into her face. He quickly tossed the blunt out of her hand into the ashtray in the table in front of them before leaning in and kissing her with such strong intensity.

The honey blonde haired girl moaned softly, already putty in the boy’s hands. Neville always knew exactly what to do with his hands. Where to kiss, where to tug, where to bite. Anything but actually dealing with the problem between her legs. She tangled her hands into the back of his hair, matching his lip movement. As he continued holding her ass with one hand, he used his other to stroke her cheek gently. A stark contrast to the kiss they were in which was wet, rough, and fast. He trailed his tongue over her lip which she gladly accepted. Their tongues danced together lazily as sweat began to build up on both of them. She pulled away partly, a trail of spit connecting them.

“Take this dumb ass jacket off. It’s the middle of July.” She grumbled as she began to unzip it, leaving him in some muggle band shirt she had gotten him one year from the states. She leaned back in, continuing to move her hips to the beat of the song. Neville began to move his hips up to match her movements. “Oh? So you got moves now huh? Who taught you those?”

“Don’t play dumb petal, you know you did.” He responded before gripping at her neck with his ringed hand. She gasped softly, looking into his blood shot blown out eyes. The music, the lighting, his touch? It was all much too much to handle. Her senses were overloaded by pleasure, the jane in her system. He tightened his hand some, leaning in closer. “You’re driving me absolutely mad, darling. Do you know that? I’d do anything you asked me to.” the movement of her hips had stilled but he kept going. She could feel the imprint of his member through his pants. Suddenly it was the only thing (Y/n) could focus on.

“Them Ravenclaw girls weren’t lying then, huh? You packin like that Nev?” she said suddenly. She knew he had asked her something a second ago, but the weed was really starting to hit. Her brain was foggy and hazed, the only thing she could think about now was him. She took one of her manicured hands, trailing it down his shirt till she reached his crotch. She gripped it in her hands, eyes widening slightly. He chuckled softly, catching her attention.

“Don’t act so surprised. You know I used to get around quite a bit.” He said, moving so his tent was resting against her inner thigh.

“Used to?” she questioned, laying her head on his shoulder with her eyes closed. She took in his scent sighing softly. Neville always smelled like a mix of lavenders, cologne, and that loud. She knew it from anywhere, especially when she smelled it in the amortentia they brewed during potions that one time.

“Yeah I don’t really pipe girls like I used to.” He moved his hands up, embracing her close as he kissed the top of her head. “Ever since a certain pesky little American girl started making their way into my life, she’s all I could think about.” she rolled her eyes some, punching him on the arm as he began to laugh.

“Don’t fuck around like that, that shit aint even funny.” she grumbled, pouting as she crossed her arms. “I thought you had an actual answer!”

“On god that was my actual answer, (Y/n)! You asked why and I told you why. Absolutely anyone could tell I’m mad for you.” Neville said as he uncrossed her arms, holding her small delicate hands in his large ones. He intertwined their hands, her sharp acrylic nails digging into his hands slightly. “Did you know when Keaton Willis asked you to Hogsmeade, I was so mad that I wouldn’t sell to him for 3 months?!”

“But I didn’t even go with him! Me and you went together to go get ice cream, remember?”

“So?! He still fucking asked you. I’m getting heated just thinkin’ about it.” He mumbled as he looked away from her. He pulled her closer, resting his head on the top of hers. “I couldn’t stand the thought of you dating such a loser. He’s not even a good guy and he’s always fucking short with his galleons when he buys. I have to practically hound the guy for my money. Yknow what? Fuck it.” he looked up at the brown skinned girl before holding her face in both his hands. He took in her features. Her plump lips, edges laid to perfection, face ‘beat to the gods’ as she would say. “Go out with me. Be my girl, petal. I can’t bear you not being mine for another second.” he said. She pretended to ponder for a bit before she looked back at him.

“Depends, will I get free weed? I expect free weed from dating the weed man, you know.” she said with a giggle. He rolled his eyes shaking his head.

“You already get free weed! Don’t pretend you don’t.” he said loudly, catching the others’ attention.

“What? Nev that’s not fair! You always make me pay and we’re mates! What happened to bros befo-”

“Ron you finish that and you ain’t leavin this shed with an eye, I can promise you that boy.” she whipped her head around quickly, glaring at the boy. Ron quickly shut his mouth knowing first hand that her promises were never empty. He gulped slightly before nodding, turning back to Hermione who handed him the bong muttering something about how he looked like he needed it.

“But to answer your question, Nev baby, I’d love to be your girl. Nothing would bring me greater pleasure than doing so.” (Y/n) leaned forward, leaving a lip gloss print on his cheek. 

“Well I’m glad you said yes because it would’ve been very awkward explaining to everyone tomorrow where that hickey on your neck came from.”

“Nev!”

[potatotrash0]

Hey idk if youve done this alreadh but im curious about your body headcanons for the sdr2 cast!! An anon sent some in for characters previously (the one where they said things like angie has vitiligo and stuff-i love them and they really stuck with me haha) and i wanna know your headcanons!! :D

Hmhmm this one I might be listing off the spot lmao. I feel like my hcs are mostly just. Common hcs but hey I never said I wasn’t basic skdjksjdks

cw for. Everyone. Yeah kdjfksjdks

Hajime…..I like to think he’s slightly buff? Maybe that’s not the right word. Toned? Idk, I hc that he jumps around hobbies a lot because he wants to find something he’s good at, so that includes sports. I like the idea that a few stick with him, like swimming and basketball. I imagine he also has light scrapes and scars on his legs from falling, both with skateboarding and general Clumsy Shit.

Also this one switches a lot but with Trans Hajime, I can see him with top surgery scars.

Oh ah, I like freckled Hajime!! It’s cute. This one goes with the sports hc, but I like the idea that he’s kinda tanned. Entirely unrelated but I also like the idea that he has calluses from playing guitar.

Chiakiii!! She’s soft bc I said so. Specifically her thighs, arms and stomach + some stretch marks. And moles all over. Projecting big time onto a cute fictional girl, call that self care <333 /j

uhh other than that, I imagine she has bags under her eyes from staying up late gaming. Also tan Chiaki my love. Shh I know she probably doesn’t go outside for days on end. In my defense I tan easily and I imagine she does too. Again with the projection. Shhhh

Oh oh!!!! I forgot to mention but!!!! Chiaki gets a ton of moles. I saw the boob mole and went !!!!!! fellow mole haver!!!!!! and went nuts. This is the one weird niche entirely irrelevant thing that can get me to like a character, just. Being able to point at them and jump up and down with joy over them also having moles. Idk why it’s just therapeutic <33

Nagito’s bony. Skinny mf. Could probably cut cheese with his elbows. Maybe grate it on his collarbones. Cuddling with him would be a fight to see if you can find a position that doesn’t end with something poking you in the gut. I mean this affectionately, he’s bony as shit but he’s my bony fucker <3

Pale asf, sunburns if he’s in the sun for more than two minutes. His eye bags could hold the entirety of his life’s trauma. Sharpest features ever. Sometimes I hc that he looks greasy, and other times I hc that he looks ethereally pretty in a ghostly way. Either way he always looks like he’s had the soul sucked out of him by a Dementor.

You can probably definitely see the veins in his hands. They’re. Very There. Also I’ve brought this up before but he definitely has big ass hands. L a r g e hands, all the better to head pat you with. This was originally so much more pining but I decided no I’ve exposed myself enough on this blog skfjksjdkd

Oh last minute thing, I think he’d be tall as fuck. Specifically 6’0 or taller. Also he probably (definitely) has at least a few scars from his childhood, particularly that plane crash. And I like to think he has glasses when he’s older. I’m so sorry that his section is so long I have so many thoughts about him ;;;;;

Okay uhh Imposter? Mmm. Idk actually. I do think they’d have callused fingers but soft hands. Probably from having to adapt to using a ton of different talents for their Imposter Agenda. Also stretch marks probably, all over their body.

Teruteru uhhhhh. God. Can you tell I don’t think about some characters ;;;;; Idk I don’t have much that differs from canon. I like him. Oh but he probably has cook hands? Chef hands, whatever you wanna call them. Probably faint scars from cuts and burns from when he was still learning how to cook from his mama.

Mahiru……hmm well freckles obviously dkjfksjd. I think she’s tanned as well since I feel like she likes sunlit shots. Idk I don’t have much. I like to think she’s got a stockier body type though.

Also not necessarily her body but I like her with an undercut!

Peko’s buff <3 it’s canon <333 /j

N ee way yeah. Buff Peko my love. Also she probably has a few scars from handling her sword when she was younger and less experienced. I also feel like she would have contacts she wears when she trains bc fuck exercising with glasses

I don’t really have anything for Hiyoko until she gets her growth spurt. Afterwards, I imagine she’s tall and kinda thin? Mainly bc of fast metabolism probably, though when she’s older maybe she’d be a little less spindly.

I don’t know if her hair would be bleached or not, but if it were, I like the idea of her letting her actual hair color grow in. If not, I think Ibuki might help her try a few sections of dyed hair? Idk I just like the thought

Ibuki is a fellow bony bitch. I mean this lovingly. She’s skin and bone. Skeleton rocker lady

Probably tan, I imagine she spends a lot of time in the sun. She strikes me as a summer person. Oh, I also saw some art of Black Ibuki with vitiligo and loved that!! Also calluses from shredding guitar, obviously

Hmmm I like the idea that she rollerskates? So possibly some bruises or scars on her arms or legs from falling on concrete when she was still learning. Oh oh I imagine she has a ton of piercings!!! On her ears, nose, lips, brows, tongue, belly button…….maybe she has a split tongue too idk. Also she totally gets a ton of tattoos when she’s outta Hope’s Peak, prove me wrong.

Mikan uhhh. I like tall Mikan. She deserves the height. 5’8 to 6’0 Mikan good 👍

Hmm she probably has scars all over, particularly on her arms and legs. Uh. Idk I imagine she’s curvy probably. What do I say for her I don’t have anything skjdksjdks

I’m not even gonna lie I don’t have a damn thing for Nekomaru. Or. Wait nevermind here’s a concept: buff Nekomaru but like. If you’ve seen those wrestlers who have fat on them that hides some fucking crazy strength? Yeah that’s him. Also hairy asf.

Gundham……tall vampire vibes. I’d say he’s a stick but also I feel like he’s the slim type of muscular. Idk how to describe it. Shigaraki type muscle? Male gymnast. No nevermind those guys have visible muscle. Shigaraki type it is

Hmmm I think this is canon but probably a few scratches from his pets. His arms and legs mainly but I’m sure the Devas have scratched up his neck at some point or another. Just a little though. Also piercing fiend Gundham my beloved. I also like him having a couple tattoos when he’s older. Ibuki probably helped him heheh

I’m torn between Fuyuhiko being skinny as shit and Fuyuhiko being tiny and buff. I like both………hhh

His hair is probably bleached. Peko probably helps him re-dye it when his roots start growing in. I also like him having glasses

Uhhh tooth gap Fuyu’s cute. I used to have a super small one before I got my braces, I imagine it’s the same for him. Him, Ibuki, and Gundham are probably Tattoo Buds.

Kazuichi…..I want so bad to say he’s a weakling just to make fun of him but he’s a mechanic that probably works with heavy machine parts a lot and he probably has some sick biceps. But he probably also smells like hair dye, oil, metal, and Monster Energy. Win lose situation I guess.

I like to think he has a couple piercings? Not as many as Ibuki, but maybe he’s got like. Second or third place in the class. Also he totally filed his teeth to be sharp like that

Akane!! Buff lady, could probably deadlift me or something. She’s definitely got some scars from running around, especially when she was first learning parkour. Ummm oh, I like to think she has a chipped tooth or smth like that from falling roughly as a kid.

Soniaa <33 in my heart she will always be tall and have at least some muscle. Novoselic is a war country if I remember correctly, she’s definitely got some military training in her.

Idk why but her with heterochromia just popped into my head. That pretty greenish blue gray that she has + maybe brown or hazel? I think that’d be cool. And hip dips.

[allthingskakashi]

I'm back! Can I please have fluffy first kiss hcs? I'm so soft for Kakashi 🥺 also ur writing is amazing bby! ❤

ahhh ily and heck yeah you can and you will! ❤️

First Kiss Headcanons w/Kakashi

Kakashi’s the kinda guy who’ll not do ANYTHING physical w you unless you connect emotionally

Dude doesn’t even show his face to anyone, you think just about any jim jam joe’s gonna get to kiss them lips?

No, siree

Intimacy is an elusive idea that means a lot to him

Kissing someone is probably something he doesn’t even dare to dream about cause he doesn’t think he’ll ever have anyone to kiss

But then he meets you

And what are these feelings??? Omg

He can’t make sense of them

You’re so beautiful and damn you make him feel funny right there in his meow meow

Anyway, fast forward and yall are in love

Even though neither of you have confessed yet

Although it’s as obvious as a fat zit on the nose

No one’s ever made him feel the way you do. He doesn’t even know how all of this is real but you fill the void in his heart and he’s happier than he ever knew he could be

And he kind of sort of wants to kiss you real fucking bad??

But he doesn’t know what to do about it??? Should he kiss you?? Will that be okay?? How will you react?? Do you even like him?? How to kiss??

All of a sudden you’re catching him steal glances at your lips a lot, while you’re just going about talking or minding your own business

Tries to be subtle

He’s not

Uh Kakashi are you listening to me?

* panicked tomato face*

“huh? Sorry, uh yes that’s great!”

Ummm.. Kakashi I asked, did you get started on our mission report? It was due at 4 and it’s 6

Who are we kidding tho you’ve been thinking about it too

Since like forever

But you’re hoping he’d initiate it

You’ve been dropping so many hints

But for a child prodigy, he sure hell is dumb

He’s dying to kiss you tho

But he won’t

Cause he’s so scared

He doesn’t wanna do anything wrong to mess up the best thing in his life

Finally you’ve had it

Kakashi’s just walking you home one night like he often does and you both stop outside your door and you say your goodbyes

But neither one of you have made any attempts to leave and you’re just standing there lost in each other’s eyes, not uttering a single word but expressing so many unspoken feelings w your eyes

And you just wanna kiss Kakashi so so bad, the yearning for him takes over your entire body and mind until you have nothing left inside you but just desire for him buzzing through your veins, making it impossible for you to think or control yourself

And you JUST DO IT

JUST REACH UP AND KISS HIM SMACK ON HIS MASK

He is s t u n n e d. Frozen right there, standing still like a scarecrow, doesn’t even blink

Your brain is back into your body and you’re beginning to realise what you just did

You’re frozen too, just standing there wide eyed, astounded by your own action

Kakashi hasn’t moved an inch in like 3 minutes and you’re starting to feel anxious and a little embarrassed now

But before you can second guess any further, you’re suddenly being pulled by these hands that are gripping your waist like the urgent hands of someone hanging over a cliff and holding on for dear life so that they don’t slip

And those hands belong to Kakashi and you don’t even have time to process what’s happening but his mask is gone cause you’re feeling his lips on yours and they’re so so so soft against your lips and even better than you’d imagined in your head

His lips are all over yours and his tongue is in your mouth and you’re kissing him back with the same passion and hunger and it’s like you’re finally fulfilling a destiny, like your lips were meant to meet his all along and it’s the most positively earth shattering feeling you’ve ever had

You both are just standing there right in the middle of the street eating each other’s faces out

6 hours go by

You finally manage to pull away and you feel so many things in your heart you don’t even know how to name these feelings, but you feel like your life has changed and you’ve found the sweet nectar of the gods in Kakashi’s lips

He’s just standing motionless again with his arms limp by his sides

You’re both standing there avoiding eye contact, trying to comprehend what happened

It’s dark but you swear you can see the red in his cheeks

He doesn’t even sleep that night

Goes back home and rereads the entire Icha Icha series 3 times over and memorises all the kissing scenes

Practices on the back of his hand

He’s like a 12 yo girl lmao

He’s so uncharacteristically happy and nice to everyone the next day

Everyone’s just like “????”

Team 7 is just wondering what’s up w him

They’re convinced he’s plotting something

Only you know what’s up

Kakashi is KISS GOD don’t @me

He deserves all the kisses in the world, he’ll make your panties drip with his kisses

Pls kiss him

[plsbyallmeans]

yuck, why am I doing this episode 2.

NOT REALLY A SERIOUS Commentary. just for the lulz.

I was prohibited by Tumblr to comment further on my original post hence this huge ass post. HAHAHA.

I actually like ML's friend. HAHAHA.

Ewww so this is where Monica hurriedly went to her mom and told her that the President kissed her. She looks so thrilled and proud like as if Bill gave her a star or something. GIRL, I MEAN SERIOUSLY. HOW COULD YOU BE PROUD OF THAT?

She's really delusional. That's it.

Clive Owen is so funny. LMAO.

Awww where Bill hugged Hillary and Chelsea but lmao this is so uncomfortable. Everyone looks like shit.

Dang girl she really likes beret. LMAO.

Ewww so this is where she is pictured giving Bill a kiss on the cheek on the ground of White House. LMAO. Clive is so funny. So awkward. lmao. Seriously the hilarity of this series. LMAO I THOUGHT MONICA WILL BE KISSING BILL'S JACKET. LIKE GADDAMN THE GIRL IS SO THIRSTY.

I SWEAR TO GOD THAT MOMENT IN THE LAWN IS SO FUCKING FUNNY. THESE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING STIFF.

YA GIRL YA THRISTY WOMAN.

Girl is so damn cray cray.

oh yikes, so this is where Monica said it's the President. lmao. She finally told Linda that it's the President and of course. of course, Linda got crazy because she could see all the $$ $ $$ $ $ $ $

lmao.

Oh she's now recounting when it first happened.

She's really obsessed with him. lmao. Oh hahahaha she literally showed her thong. HAHAHAHAHA. I laughed more than necessary on the thong scene. Bananas.

Here's the Pizza scene. I know where this is going. What's with the slowmo? This is sickening. LMAO.

Eww, these two. hahaha.

It gets lonesome some days - Bill Clinton

LMAO these two. fudge.

Ewww, Bill is flirting.

Shucks. This two is crazy and even nuts. Oh they literally skipped the part where Bill asked for permission. Actually, the kiss is solid. lmao. crazy

"We secretly plan to run to each other."

Yes damn down to 35 minutes.

HAHAHA. Girl, you are naive. Wow, this girl fell hard. Girl, your ass is going to fall hard on the concrete after your confession to Linda. Watch ya back.

Linda is so crazy.

They really characterized Bill as someone who would take advantage of the women working in the White House. LIKE DUDE. U OK? I mean it's being insinuated.

#Isurvivedthegrosskiss2021 #Isurvivedthiscrazyseries2021

Girl you trapped.

#yourgirlisstillpinning2021

he ain't calling you because he's having seks with Hillary. ya dammit.

lmao, Bill you crazy shit. But I still you. Like you and your troubled soul.

"I missed your voice" BWAHAHAHA! BILL YOU OAF.

These people are fat because they like microwaving stuff. Don't people have like a stove or something?

"I have a gift monica," - Linda. Yes, Linda, you have a gift. A gift fit for a witch. wtf. you monster.

Yes, 29 minutes left!!!!!

They really have an ugly setting. ugly background. boring. boring.

dull. wtf. don't they have funds?

Everyone is so ugly. WTF. That's why this series is not getting views (besides its boring plot).

That and it's still fucking dark.

Seriously, I know that back in the '90s are not yet modern with makeup, dang girl, everyone looks ugly. I mean, I'm not that beautiful but come on I expected something.

LMAO ANN COULTER IS "FIRED AGAIN"

Ann is really horrible.

Awww, Cobie. I still love you. <3

COBIE WTF WITH YOUR ACCENT?! LIKE THE FUCK GIRLLL GET YOUR ASS BACK IN MARVEL.

See everyone is really crazy about Bill's eggplant.

"THE GOAL IS TO EMBARRASS HIM" - YEAH SIR you got that right.

I can't wait for this series to end. <3 <3

oh, they really want ya Bill to get impeached.

22 minutes before it ends, come one. end now. this is so boring. no wonder this couldn't pull viewers.

will they show Bill and Hillary kissing because I am more interested in that?

WAT. Can I fast forward? This is so boring.

Wow ya girl is persistent. Wants to be the one to send the gift and she wants to get back in the white house.

"SHE'S A GOOD KID" - like what the fuck. lmao.

Oh here's the blue dress. YAY. Monica keeping it as a souvenir. HAHAHAHA. I still cannot.

ALSO THE FROG. WTF. HUHU WHY DO YOU HAVE TO.

LMAO MONICA WEARING THE RED DRESS. HAHAHAHAHA. I CANNOT.

"It's just Hillary" - like girl, u ok? that's Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton for you, Linda.

lmao - hahahaha Bill is hinting to Monica that she's being a weird-ass stalker. lmao.

LMAO LINDA USED AN EXCEL TO DO A TIMELINE FOR MONICA AND BILL'S "MOMENTS". girl, I would also do the same. Like how I do my fanfics.

Let's just get it done and over with. GIVE ME EDIE - I want to see cold robotic Hillary Clinton.

I miss HILLARY huhu. love you girl.

HAHAHAHA THE INAUGURATION DANCE.

LMAO THIS IS SO FUNNY.

HAHAHAHAHA! Actually bill and Hillary dancing together smiling kinda gets it. I mean it lacks the sweetness but it's kinda there.

DUDE EVEN IN THE SHOW IT SHOWS CREEPY SHOW BILL HAPPY WITH COLD SHOW HILLARY. They actually look kinda cute.

YAY 12 MINUTES LEFT!

you know I kinda understand why Sarah Paulson hated taking this role. Linda is just a monster.

lmao Paula Jones got a glow-up in her interview.

I think everyone's ugly because of everyone's nose. They all look huge. WTF.

Just give me Cold Show Hillary pls. I am so tired.

Bill's playing solitaire is gold.

aww I miss Bill and Hillary. <3

LMAO "TESTING 1 2 3" - I imagine Bill doing this.

EWwww here comes creepy Monica giving Bill a creepy dreamy stare. ewwww. ewww. ewww.

Yay down to 7 minutes!!!!!

"Boy I miss that smile" - Bill Clinton - eewww, Bill. Like u ok? hahahaha. I laughed.

Wait what did he gave her? i thought it's a wand. like a harry potter wand.Fucking studio light. I cannot see everything.

Oh, it's a hat pin! I thought it's a pen.

EEWWW "IF YOU GOT ME THAT I WANT TO OPEN IT IN FRONT OF YOU."

oh, here's the leaves of weeds book.

Bill should have given Monica a bible.

6 more minutes! I am done!

These monkeys. Hurry the fuck up.

I really miss the Clintons. lmao.

"We have to be really careful." - Bill Clinton ; eeewww, yuck

oh they kissed twice in this show. Ewww. this two. gaak.

Overall comment:

they really depicted it as what it is: Monica is crazy about Bill. She teased him. They had consensual affair.

Monica pinned hard for Bill, he didn't return the fondness.

Monica had a mistake trusting Linda.

She was trapped by people who have a selfish interests.

I think Monica wanted to make herself innocent by making it appear that she is just someone who fell in love with the wrong person and who trusted the wrong friend.

The way they portrayed the whole thing is really consensual. But they made Bill really look predatory.

The lighting is really so bad. lmao. Their makeup is kinda bad. It's still boring

Nothing new that we don't know of.

I actually don't hate Bill after watching this. LMAO. I actually missed them! bwahahaha. I miss seeing Bill and Hillary. Maybe I would read some fics and watch their past interviews.

[the-acid-pear]

Tumblr refuses to let me reblog the post again, so this is the second part of me reading the second btg book! ☺️

Still Chapter 211

Son on son violence

Chapter 212

This dude pretty cute ngl

Shit, rip

AAWW HIGH 5 🥺🥺

It's almost like they are a regular father and son 😭🥺💔

Chapter 213

Look how thigh those shirts are hehehoho 🥴

OYXITSITDITDLTD

Ooooh there goes my man Jyaku ready to kick some ASS

🥺😭💞

Baki really just forgot his mom eh, thought you were getting stronger for HER smh

Oh Jyaku vs Retsu? Nvm Jyaku i can only hope Retsu is nice w you

I like how most are like, confused over who to cheer for lmao

I know he won't make it but I'm cheering for Jyaku btw i like him more <33

Chapter 214

Love that title, can't believe Jyaku is gonna ask Retsu out 😍 /j

He really is just honest Igari

I love that he apologizes

Chapter 215

OJFOYDITDISTOTDG

HIS FACEEE THIS FUCKING CLOWN 😭😭😭

THIS IS JUST SO FUCKING FUNNY

Chapter 216

Burgir

GHZJDUDDRHD THEY ARE SOOO MAD

That smile so cute...

Jyaku is a king

Love it when Retsu throws that pose, though y'all know why

HDGSSGSGF you are coming to Japan wether you like it or not 🔫

Chapter 217

Finally Jyaku got serious too

WITH HIS TOES 😭

King is just obsessed i luv him

HEHE HAIRY LEGS

It does seem like Jyaku is trynna confess his love jfnshdshdf

Chapter 218

I remember i almost laugh cry with my dad when we saw this

His damn beard... 💔

THE HAND OF THE TRAITOR

He has a good point

They be calling my man Jyaku a masochist noooo yfjdhdgs

Chapter 219

Okay seems kinda into it <:/

Old man? He doesn't look that old Baki :/

That was so smart 🥺

Chapter 220

Retsu calm down please you are gonna break his back

Oh my god Retsu, oh my god.

He did apologize at least

Chapter 221

Damn dude be a little more gentle with him

Oh, get was picking him up, okay

FR FR

🥺🥺🥺

FARHDHDYFTH THE KINGGG

Chapter 222

I love how everyone completed him (except Yujiro but not surprising), these warriors are such a good team

I want to eat an apple too now

That was fast

I got distracted watching a vsauce react video sorry

Okay I'm glad a comment actually mentioned Sik

Chapter 223

Had to take a uh idk 5 hour break bc lights went out :/

Feet be fuming lmao

Ohhh that's a cool analysis

Chapter 224

What a good punch

That "please",,,

Poor Li man, having to see his brother DIE /j

No, Viêt Long, i have not been hit by a truck before.

Chapter 225

It's so funny how Jyaku lost bc he fought a main charac and only those win

Sad day for the Chinese citizens

Mf got tits in his back

This is gonna be so goodddd

Chapter 226

Look at the size of his tits, the slut

INSTAGRAM INFLUENCER POSE WOOO

These two are cool fighters

Chapter 227

Old man showing skin

His smile is so fucked up lmao

Chapter 228

Baki what the FUCK are you wearing?

I just remembered when Hana did a flip, that was so good

Retsu babey 🥺

I love how confused Yujiro looks

Chapter 229

Hey, i recognize that name...

Kaku just too op

Yujiro you are gonna pop your testicles if you do that with your leg

Chapter 230

God that's such a good threat

Love Retsu's confusion

Damn bitch you saying we gotta keep up w this whore cuz you were too slow? Ffs Kaku 😢

I love when you can tell someone is still hanging around just quietly by seeing their response in a comment

Chapter 231

God this just feels so good, to see Yujiro actually scared 😍

YOOO THAT'S POG

Chapter 232

I wanna finish this book and start the next one grrr

This fight is so satisfying

That last bit is so cringe but whatever that's okay

Fight so controversial comments were deactivated

Chapter 233

Itagaki hincha de boquita el más grande? 😳 /j

Okay yeah it IS just rude

Hohoooo shit getting nice

Chapter 234

This asshole lmao

Yuji-chan really went "how many times do i have to teach you this lesson, old man?!"

Mfs be doing Jojo references in the comments lol

Chapter 235

GTFO WITH THAT LOGIC RETSU IM SORRY CHINA IS LOSING BUT GET LOSTTTT AJSGAJGS

Ffs Kaku you are doomed 😢💔

Yujiro so strong my mouse disconnected

Chapter 236

Abs in his back...

Crying and shaking that is NOT true

DON'T FEED HIS EGO, KAKU

LIONS CAN BE KILLED BY TIGERS TOO!!!!

I thought Yujiro was bleeding for a second there smh

Chapter 237

OKAY YEAH IT IS HIS BLOOD ITS COMING OUT OF HIS NOSE ITS NOT MUCH BUT HE BLED

THE HEAD APPLAUSE

HE'S SO UPSET LMAOOO

Yujiro surprised is good shit

GSJDUFTHSTD

KAKU YOU LEGEND LMAO

Kaku has boyboss energy

Chapter 239

This cover almost gives me a stroke

I love how they all just shat their pants

These minor Chinese characters were so good tbh, sadly i don't think they will ever return

Don't worry Retsu, we the viewers have seen a man revive before

King i don't think any of us understands

It really is

CAN MEN IN THIS FRANCHISE JUST OPEN BOTTLES REGULARLY?!

Oh my god i though Yujiro was sitting on the air for a second i almost cry 😭

Coca cola must have paid Itagaki /j

Chapter 240

Oh so the Kaioh part takes the name, not the surname

...is Yujiro wearing a floral shirt? 😭

I LOVE THAT ENDING SO MUCH 🥺😭

Jyaku has his eyes fixated on Retsu eh, proud of having him come to Japan lmao

Chapter 241

HORRIBLE fit Baki

CHILDHOOD SAGA PART 2? 😰

Jk though i do miss Yuri 🥺

Oh hey Jr

You gonna fuck his girl, bro?

Chapter 242

So straight forward lmao

I'm starting to appreciate Baki's feminist ass every day even more

AAAA GRANDPAAA 🥺🥺💞

This page didn't allow me to call two mfs virgins smh, 1984

Chapter 243

Grandpa they shrunk you

Chapter 244

Kings idc about this

Okay true but also he's 70 dude pls... Though idk if this guy will go thru worse than Jack lmao

Such a nice lad

Chapter 245

Baki being such a feminist icon is so meaningful considering how his parents were,,,

MY MAN IS BACKKK AND AS DAPPER AS EVER

Doppo he's called Ali Jr how are you surprised?

OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED HIS EYE PATCH HAS A PATTERN THAT'S SO COOL 🥺🥺😢💞

These men love throwing their glasses eh

Chapter 246

If only Igari and Toba had done this lol

OKAY THATS COOL I LIKE THAT

Me lo re devaluaron a mí pelado eh

HEHE OOOOH NICE 😳

Scenes that give me a boner

CHU...

Such a good callback...

Chapter 247

My man got serious, sweet

Doppo has been trying out his luck a bit too much like he's been betting with his life an uncomfortable lot like king do you need to talk? Are you okay? First asking Gouki to kill him now this like, is everything alright Doppo?

YEAH A BIT FUCKED UP TO THINK ABOUT

I love that blocking technique

OSHWOWHIWWH "gay ass Orochi, out of option so he touching dick" SHUT UPPP 😭😭💀

I really wish he got kicked in the nuts again see if he's still using his technique

Chapter 248

Poor guys thought he was bout to get murdered

A kiss? 😏 /j

When i saw this in the anime i actually thought Orochi was going to die, i was gonna get sooo angry

Chapter 249

What a way to cockblock em

Feminist icon

Jack is that the only sweater you own?

Chapter 250

I have been thinking of that scene of him eating the whole steak a lot

Jr like 🥺

Imagine being stupid enough to tease Jack like, i get he defeated two masters but they are NOTHING compared to this monster

Imagine jack just smoked some weed right there lmao

Jack needs to bite people more

Chapter 251

My shitty ass son gave me parkinson's

Jack that's not how human anatomy works what the fuck did Kureha do to your body spine?

Chapter 252

DAMN JR WHAT A FAT ASS

Looked like Jack was going for a handful

Those techniques must fuck your neck up so bad

Okay Jack you are going a bit far now don't cha think?

Chapter 253

You are tempting your luck sunny boy

Look at that, you pissed him off!

You cannot just know out jack hanma bro

HHH

This was so stupid yet, unironically, iconic

Chapter 254

Bruh i thought it said Pog 😭, ain't manslaughter poggers Mr Hanma?

OKAY THANKS JACK

Such a simp he downed that coffee cup

Grandpa put here cockblocking

Chapter 255

"no he didn't >:/"

These two masters are a pair of fucking idiots like understand this i love my grandpa and i love my man but mfs have to take the L for this one time sksgwjgshgw

Gouki bro my senses gonna shut down if you put your sucks against the dirt again OUGH sensory hell 😭

FOR FUCKING REAL JR

STOP ENABLING THE OLD MAN!! WKSGKSGSJSHDD for once I'm on Viêt's side 😭

Chapter 256

Hoho Gouki out here getting a panty shot 😳

Grandpa i love you but this was unnecessary

Chapter 257

Kozue should wear a Korn tshirt

GET HIS ASS KOZUE

OWHWLWGISGSJWG 😭😭 MF JUST STANDING THERE LIKE A FREAK I LOVE HIM BUT I HATE HIM SM!!!

Love how consistently round his hands are, king got no knuckles

HEY DONT CALL MY MAN A FREAK KOZUE

King hasn't changed his clothes ever since i see

His shoes look so nice...

OKAY OKAY HE HAS A POINT AT LEAST, HE AT LEAST ACCEPTED HE LOST BUT HE'S STILL BUTTHURT FROM IT SKSGAJGS BUT HE ADMITS IT!!

Doppo i love you but shut UPPP you lost get over it!! You are just going for the rematch bc you have the higher ground against a injured guy!!! Like Shibukawa didn't have time but you were already getting serious!! Hhhgrrrrrr doppo i love you but I'm going to bark

Hehe nvm he still hella fine... keep talking king 🥴

This was so mean of him sjsgwjwg

Chapter 258

Low-key starting to believe these two mfs plotted against Jr sjshsj

THAT FACE AKSGWJGS just 😐

If i didn't know you would get your ass handed in a plate i would be a lil mad he's planning on being that savage

He has been thru worse, sunny boy

Niceee

Tbh. I don't care anymore. Doppo is in the wrong, but GOD I'm a simp and i love seeing him fight 😍😍🥴

Yeah a comment mentioned it, we all were on Jr side until he threatened to kill Doppo Orochi like, even if not everyone here is as horny as me we all like an og fella

I also love how the prisoners really changed them all, the scars (both physical and mental) those 5 left will be remembered lol

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Wedding Job

leverage 1.07

Nate: No. No, it's-it's not right. But, you know, uh, we're not detectives. And if you want to prove your husband's innocence, there are plenty of agencies I could recommend.

eliot and hardison share tired, annoyed looks and I felt that in my soul

- - - - - 

Teresa: I understand. Thank you. Where did my daughter go?

Hardison:I think she was with Parker.

(Parker is teaching the little girl how to pick locks)

Parker: Go! 

(they both begin to work on the locks, after a few seconds, the girl gets hers open)

Parker: 6 seconds! Give it up! Good job.

parker can be good with kids and it’s adorable

- - - - - 

Hardison: Just take the mob out of it.

Nate: What? Take the mob out of it?

Hardison: Hear me out. Isn't this just a breach of contract?

Eliot: These guys had a deal, right? And your boy, Ray, he lived up to his end, but Moscone didn't. And for that, there's not a court of law in this world this lady can go to.

Parker: Which is exactly the kind of case we take

the ot3 immediately jumping in to support sophie’s idea

- - - - - 

Hardison: We can't. That thing's a fortress, man. I clocked four armed guards, a Tikva security system. That thing's Israeli-Made. It's used to protect their military bases. It's unhackable. Oh, and then there's the FBI parked around the corner.

Parker: FBI? Where? (looking through camera lens)

Hardison: You see that crappy van that says "plumber"?

Sophie: Did you say "plumber"? That's their cover? Oh, that is so cute. It's like it's 1978 all over again

- - - - - 

Parker: I saw some rubber gloves. What do you do with those?

McSweeten: Oh, actually, we've just been kind of blowing them up and playing volleyball. But, uh, yeah, if we need to do any kind of investigation…

big boredom during quarantine mood

- - - - - 

eliot being proud of the one (1) thing he did on the computer 

- - - - - 

parker winked at mcsweeten that poor boy, I’d be smitten too

+

fic writers get on this, parker smells like jasmine

- - - - - 

Hardison: All you have to do is rip them on my flash drive and run.

[FBI Offices]

(Eliot closes the door)

Eliot: I don't have to type anything, right?

[Leverage Headquarters]

Hardison: No, just plug it in. It does the rest.

Eliot: All right, 'cause you know I just learned the Photoshop thing you told me.

Hardison: I-I know. Baby steps.

[FBI Offices]

Eliot: So I just plug it in.

(Eliot forces open a set of cabinet doors and they open, revealing stacks of cassette tapes. He looks at the flash drive in his hand)

[Leverage Headquarters]

Hardison: Now, audio files, they can take a little while to run, but, uh, the servers are pretty loud, so that should give you some cover.

[FBI Offices]

Eliot: It's tapes.

[Leverage Headquarters]

Hardison: Wha-hold, wait. Did y-you just say "tapes"?

Eliot: I just said "tapes"!

Hardison: Cassette tapes?

[FBI Offices]

(Eliot picks up a cassette case and taps it with the flash drive)

Eliot: Your little thing, it's not gonna work.

[Leverage Headquarters]

Hardison: But at least you ain't got to type nothing.

[FBI Offices]

Eliot: Hardison, how am I supposed to get out of the FBI offices with a boxful of surveillance tapes, huh?

[Leverage Headquarters]

Hardison: Punch somebody.

[FBI Offices]

Eliot: Oh, I’m gonna punch somebody

- - - - - 

Nate: Can you break the codes?

Hardison: The codes? The codes to the Cayman Bank and Trust, where the Cali cartel and the African dictators keep all their dirty money? The ones that Moscone changes anytime he damn well pleases? Like, it's-c-come on. Dude, are you kidding me?

Nate: You know, you're-you're very negative lately. 

Eliot: Yeah. 

Nate: And the sass, it doesn't-doesn't help.

bruh lay off hardison

- - - - - 

[audio of mob family fighting playing off of hardison’s computer]

Sophie: It's a bit like an opera, isn't it?

Eliot: You mean 'cause I want to run away

- - - - - 

Nate: Sophie. Where are we at?

Sophie: Huh? I don't know, Nate. I think you need to ask yourself that question. You called me, remember? And now we're working together every day. I don't know what you want. And to ask me that dressed like a vicar? You're a very strange man.

Nate: No, no, no. I meant where are we at with finding the money?

Sophie: Oh.

chaotic sophienate 

- - - - - 

Nate: How are we doing? How's the search?

Eliot (chopping vegetables): I haven't started yet.

Nate: Okay, you know, I haven't gotten one answer I was looking for today. What is it that you're doing? What's going on?

Eliot: I'm cutting onion, deveining shrimp, uh, pan-searing some scallops. I've got 200 people I got to feed, all right? Back off.

Nate: Okay, okay. Hmm.

Eliot: What, you think the only thing I know how to do is bust heads?

Nate: No, well, yeah.

Eliot (demonstrating): Look, hold a knife like this, cuts through an onion. Hold a knife like this, cuts through, like, eight yakuza in 4 seconds. Screams, carnage. People are like knives. Everything is in context.

Heather (enters): Okay, hors d'oeuvres.

Eliot: Yes, ma'am. Stuffed mushrooms, pine nuts, kiss of basil, some sun-dried tomatoes, and the finishing touch, lemon juice. (gives her bite)

Heather (spits it out): Does this look like a food court? Does it? I want high-End food - High-End! What are you— (walks out)

(Eliot starts to go after her with the knife, Nate stops him)

Eliot: I know.

NEVER GET BETWEEN ELIOT AND HIS FOOD

also, eliot only becoming murderous when someone insults his food? iconic

- - - - - 

Sophie (to bridesmaid): You look lovely.

Cindy: You don't think it makes me look fat?

Parker: Oh, definitely. I mean, why do you think I had to let out the waist? To make you look less skinny?

Sophie: She... she didn't mean that.

Heather: Oh, suck it up, Cindy. You'll be fine.

if someone did this to me I would c r y and that’s the truth lmfao

- - - - - 

the ot3 eating pizza and laughing as nate verbally fucks himself over with sophie lmao

- - - - - 

Hardison: Yo. No way in hell I could ever imagine getting married. I mean, it's just - It's just a piece of paper.

(Eliot, eating an apple, looks at Hardison)

Hardison: I take it you've never been married.

Eliot: No.

Hardison: Ever come close?

Eliot: No.

Hardison: What was her name?

Eliot: It was a girl I grew up with. But anyway, she married somebody else, so...

Hardison: Hot-hot damn, what did you do?

Eliot: What did I do? I liberated Croatia. (leaves)

Hardison: Oh, see, now, me, I would have just got fat and started up a comic-Book shop. That's you and me right there.

relationship foreshadowing in s1 we love to see it

- - - - - 

Hardison: Now, I know that you're in charge of the bridesmaids' dresses, but why are you wearing one?

Parker: A bridesmaid's dress is like an all-access pass at a wedding. Plus, I kind of said something, and the maid of honor cried. And Sophie said I should make it up to her. 

Hardison: By looking much, much better in the same dress? Yeah, you let me know how that goes.

Parker: Hmm, you really think I look good?

Hardison (pinning flowers on her dress): And now you're perfect

they’re BABIES your honor

- - - - - 

(of course the trashy mom wears a sparkly white dress to her daughter’s wedding) 

- - - - - 

(Eliot walks up to the rest of the team)

Eliot: What is it? I got bacon on.

Parker: The Butcher is here.

Eliot: Does he have the baby lamb chops?

Hardison: No. The butcher of Kiev.

Nate: Think he'll recognize you?

[Flashback]

(flames surrounding them, the Butcher has Eliot by the neck and is trying to cut him with a meat cleaver. Eliot is barely holding him off)

Butcher: I kill you!

[Exterior House]

Eliot: Yeah, I think he'd remember me

I live for wacky eliot flashbacks

- - - - - 

Nate: You're staying? Sophie, Sophie, it's the Butcher of Kiev.

Hardison: Have you ever been to Kiev? The cake-maker of Kiev would whup all our ass. This is the butcher.

Sophie: Uh-Huh.

this isn’t that notable, but it’s funny

- - - - - 

parker smushed up against the glass door ,,, just imagine if anyone saw that lmao

- - - - - 

eliot using a frying pan to fight the butcher of kiev,,, iconique

- - - - - 

we need to start making a list of things that are Specifically Not Weapons™ that eliot uses as weapons:

for this episode, a frying pan, a whisk, an appetizer platter, the platter itself 

- - - - - 

Hardison (eating appetizer): This is pretty good, man.

Eliot: Thanks, man. I squeeze, like, fresh lemon juice on it.

Hardison: Cool. Cool.

(they follow Nate out of the kitchen)

eliot is so genuinely happy when someone finally appreciates his food, you can see it in his face ,,, he starts to love hardison just a little bit for that

- - - - - 

Nate: Did you clear out Moscone’s accounts?

Hardison: I left him five dollars for socks

we love the team being petty

- - - - - 

the girl immediately jumped into parker’s lap at the restaurant I’m soft

- - - - - 

soft chef eliot serving his -friends- family is everything 

- - - - - 

I understand that this was technically supposed to be the third episode, so this would have been their first meal as a family and I stan them so hard for it