lemonthepotato

[lemonthepotato]

I just found out someone dubbed a yandere asmr satire script I made years ago but I don’t wanna say anything cuz then I’d have to reveal that I googled myself out of boredom. 💀

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Psychosophy Userboxes 3/3

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Psychosophy Userboxes Part 2/3

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Psychosophy Userboxes Part 1/3

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Rapid fire shit I hate about Duolingo despite my 2000+ day streak.

1. The repetitive exercises, especially once you finish the tree. I’ve heard the sentence “esta galleta de limón me recuerda a mi abuela” about 5000 times by now. (The Esperanto course is somehow slightly better at this. Slightly. Tired of hearing about gold balls.) The point of the practices should be to refresh your memory. At least I still have the practice feature-

2. OH, WAIT, NO, I DON’T. They removed that for the genius alternative of WATCHING AN AD EVERY TIME YOU WANT A HEART. If you have zero hearts, that means 5 ads. Oh, speaking of-

3. The hearts system as a whole. Duolingo punishes you for making mistakes. “It’s to prevent binging” bulllllllshit. There are so many times where you’re close to finishing a lesson, but one tiny mental slip makes you mess up. So you watch an ad. You finish the ad. “You’ve earned a heart! Watch an ad to earn another one.”

But sure. Keep distracting us with a meme that died, oh, I dunno, FIVE YEARS AGO? Not like I even use this app because I believe it works, anyway. I use it because I have a 2327 day streak.

It was me, by the way. I did it.

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Tw: disordered eating.

I’m trying to, uh, eat ‘better’

(finally realised I probably have a very restrictive ED. Just to show you how much, THIS was my idea of ‘improvement’ from yesterday. Click it if you wanna see it.)

BTW, I had the oats at 7AM, the carrot and coriander at 4PM, 3 protein bars at 5PM and one at 7PM. Look, a few months ago I wouldn’t have even touched a banana because of the sugar never mind eat breakf*st (omg I was doing OMAD without even realising /j. No, seriously. I’d have a sandwich with 2 Richmond vegan sausages, chili and avocado, and salad. I stopped when I found a piece of chicken in the salad. Didn’t want to order salad from anywhere again. And I’d snack on oatcakes and rice cakes 3-4x a day. That was what I ate. Every day lol. The consequences of being exposed to LPS popular when I was 6-7 and certain internet tags as a young (overweight) teen. Reaping the consequences all these years later. I didn’t realise how bad it got cuz of the caffeine, so when I quit? Yeah, I began noticing a lot of shit. I lost five stone and people think that’s a good thing. Sure, maybe 13’6 to 8’8 is good, but the way I did it??? People tell me I’m healthy in one breath then “you’re so pale. you look sick.” in the next.

BUT THAT’S BESIDES THE POINT.

The point is that, this morning, I was deciding what to have for dinner (at 12PM… normal dinner time.) and I was thinking I could have chickpeas with something. I read the label. “Suitable for vegetarians.” I checked the ingredients list “water, chickpeas.” I stood there, flabbergasted. I picked up a small can of baked beans, my worst enemy, but rich in iron, which I am not exactly sufficient in. Not really healthy, either, but did I care? No. Canned carrots. I think these ones said “suitable for vegans.” Ingredients list. “Carrots, water.” Then I found some peas. “Suitable for vegetarians.” “Peas, water.”

…anyway, I settled on baked beans and carrots. Maybe if I’m feeling spicy I’ll have some green cuisine dippers but those are like 274 cals and the beans are 168 which is like 442 cals… which, okay, not as bad as I thought but genuinely kinda scary. For a while I’d have FIID meal packs w vegan chicken slices, but those made me BLOAT.

Anyway, what magical ingredient are they putting in this to make it not vegan?? I know it’s probably mislabelled, but I ain’t risking that 😭

“It’s a can of fucking chickpeas,” you say. Well, not mine. Not anymore.

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I tried kiwi for the first time a few days ago, skin and all. Mouth began to burn. Did it three more times. Continued. I think I have a fucking KIWI ALLERGY…

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I relate to Pomni a lot because my life is a circus and I’m trapped in it.

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So it turns out that if you drink caffeine since you were a young kid and have been addicted for over 10 years and consume 3-4 coffees with 3-4 lucozade energy drinks a day and you quit it turns out that it makes you REALLLLYYY double depressed. Time feels real. I feel real. I feel like I woke up from a coma or a fake reality. And it feels really fucking weird and oh god if I can’t mask my depression anymore, I might actually have to do something about it. The horror.

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Me going through fnaf lore videos in 2024 as if I didn’t give up on trying to understand the lore after SB released: Uh-huh, interesting. Yes this ChicaDCI MichaelMCI ScraptrapDuo ElizabethHell ShatterDoug GamesGames MsAftonConvicted Henry=MsAfton DougVictim 3afterFFPS BlobPhoneGuy BrazilCanonEnding BV82 CB1960 ShadowBonnie46 ToyFreddyBite WillMound OmniMCIDCI PigtailMike RalphGlitchtrap TCTTC 15th April 1865 UCNReal VanessaVengeful theory is the smartest thing I’ve ever heard.

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My second book has been “almost done” for over a year now. The thing is that proofreading is so boring. Like, I love writing. I even enjoy editing. I love all that shit, love it. But proofreading… MAN. I proofread my first book like 20 times (though I should’ve edited it like 100 extra times lol that thing is um. Not my proudest work.) and by the 20th time I was like “fuck this, if a typo or two slips by, I am beyond caring.”

Now, for my current book, I am approaching that phase. Currently, I’m planning on doing one proofread with a text to speech app on my computer (a really unintuitive one that bores me to tears), planning an extra proofread and then I’ll order proof copies, proofread that once or twice, and then I’m fucking done.

First world problems, at the end of the day. I guess I’ve been struggling because I’m recovering from burnout, dealing with the worst depression (mentally, anyway) I’ve ever had and losing my passion for anything and everything. But, er, you don’t need the details. I think the worst part is when you’ve proofread the fucking thing over and over, and you find a really obvious typo! One I found today was “What kind of questions is that?”

*facepalm* Agh. Pain in the ass. Genuinely.

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Well that’s one way to trap the MC I suppose.

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I’m editing something and listening to music, right? So I use the ‘narrator’ tool to spellcheck while I edit, and MAN IT CAN BE SUCH A BUZZKILL. Like, I was listening to The Tempest by Pendulum, and when it got to the main bit (I know, my musical terminology knowledge is amazing. /s I just dunno if drop is the word.) ALL I COULD HEAR WAS “NO AUTOMATION PEER WINDOW. YOUTUBE. AUDIO PLAYING.” Thanks, really enhances the experience.

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Me: okay, attempting to rig my wrapped for the memes ruined it for me. I shouldn’t do it again.

Also me: what if I tried making He Will Mock you by the Annoying Orange my most listened to song next year?

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Does anyone else listen to Kevin Macleod when writing? I mean, I also listen to soundtracks in general but I grew up on LPStube videos where At Rest would be put over ridiculously serious scenes I couldn’t take seriously in the modern day (they’re LPS toys), so idk, the songs from that era of YouTube are writing material.

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heyo. there was a term you coined (or just thought about coining) a while ago called idemic. it was something i related to but it looks like your coining post is gone. did you rename the term? change your mind?

Oh, wow, I completely forgot about that term. Okay, so, the short answer is that I did change the name (I forgot what to, I’m sorry. I changed it because the term already existed) but I also deleted the post.

I don’t remember why I deleted the post itself, and I don’t remember what I even defined the term as, but I was going through heavy identity issues back then (depersonalisation/dissociation), so I think I might’ve deleted it because it was making things worse for me. That being said, I understand others might find the concept useful/helpful for them, and that’s cool. I’m sorry I don’t have the original post anymore but people can do what they wanna with the term/concept. So yeah, basically just personal shit and the fact the term already existed (I don’t remember what the other idemic meant, though)

[lemonthepotato]

This specific Kevin Macleod song feels slightly Umineko soundtrack coded.