#sh i love u more
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I also like the idea of Bakugo having a lil crush on Kirishima’s secretary. He’s somewhat formal with his own staff, so seeing how sweet you are to Kiri when you pat his shoulder when you drop off papers, or he to you when coffee is ordered just gets him so… flustered and itchy under the collar. Not knowing how to feel.
Bakugo doesn’t even realize it’s jealousy at first, and especially not when he has an interview planned with Kiri, and you’re there too, being just as kind to him as you are to your own boss.
#bakugo#kirishima#cue: the boys fighting#I love kiribaku don’t get me wrong but also ‘I had them first!!!!’ is making my cooter feel things#then cue: Bakugo forcing himself into your and kiris relationship LOL#you have a casual movie date?? bam Bakugo is there#LOOOOOL blushing up a storm#and you have to be like ‘if u want to kiss me u have to kiss ei too’ LMFAOO AND HES SO BLUSHY#or not. just more fighting. I like both lowkey#I have more thoughts on this but … not now#different ones#oh my god I just had to pick up meds for my grandma and that sh*t was a pain in my *SS#gonna take myself out to eat later#tho I already got a coffee and donut tee hee#anyway#gen#shii posts
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since the new year is just a week away (what even.), remember that time kyhn was almost a thing in honeypre?
we all know hina’s years-long unrequited love for yukki, but in this event~~~~~~ he found her cute!!! and he said “the boy who’ll become setoguchi’s lover will definitely be happy”!!!!
a n d he briefly pictured what it’d be like to date hina!!!!!!!! and the wish he made at the shrine was for hina’s happiness (for the rest of her time in high school)…
also!!!! they pretended to be lovers during this little new year’s date~~~~ they’re so precious~~~~
anyways!!! happy kyhn new year!!!!
#so like. i think it’s fine to love and support a ship (even if it doesn’t become canon) as long as you mind your manners#like. dont go harassing the creators and/or people who dont support your noncanon ship m y g o sh. i thought that was common sense#i think kyhn shippers these days are pretty respectful for the most part. they make cute art and vibe in peace pretty wholesomely#though it’s not like kyhn was *that* popular back in the day too… most people seemed to be rooting for kotachan#even from the time of the hina movie’s initial release#i get the sense that we all just cried together at the foregone conclusion of kyhn and smiled at the cute moments while we could…#th o u g h not gonna lie i only started supporting kthn after reading the daikirai novel bc he was so hilariously salty in it#and that was. like. in late 2020… so more than 3 years after the hina movie… (<-creature who could *not* let go of kyhn)#so. like. i think given some time the initial flames of angry shipper rage should peter out… perhaps.#so my point is… even though times are hard and copium supplies are low… do not compare kyhn to lhy/yhy they are *not* the same#kyhn had cute bits and hints and stuff like this~~~~ but yhy has never been a thing from the start.#and. like. it was really obvious from the start that kyhn would not become canon… as sad as that truth was at the time#hw loves to release paired songs of couples (the another story and such) and kotachan got the another/triangle story of imasuki#while yukki had nothing after rival sengen for years#(kore seishun doesnt count bc it was a chicosana song for years before the 4th charasong album)#but aaaaaaaaa~~~~~~~~~ i still really really really like the gardening club together as an ot3… ktkyhn…#i still think kthn and kyry should merge into a little love quartet and open a flower shop together#let them all garden together~~~~~ live laugh love kthnkyry…???? there has gotta be a better acronym for that…#just honeypre things
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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lu dort ALWAYS has to make sure he's right next to shai. ALWAYS. i Know What You Are.
#lu dort when hes not hip to hip ( 🤨) with his beautiful gf: 😐 im going to k*ll myse-#lu dort when hes hip to hip ( 🤨 ) with his beautiful gf: :] * awkward dog smile when it notices u filming it *#hes so real for that#hes like that one pokemon where if they stop holding hands they fucking die#so real#love how confident free and fun shai looks and then theres lu#u can totally see the resemblence in lu and jdubs faces like that is mother daughter right there#poor chet always forced to the back bcs hes tall LMFAO#his hand on jdub tho erm... yaoi real ?#thank u xar for this photo i was raking my brain trying to find this and just gave it#it's so gorgeous#I LOVE OKC !!!!#the way j*sh is not in this makes it so much more beautiful#it's an actual stat
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thinking about picard doing a cocomelon moment with data by singing gilbert and sullivan at him from a karaoke machine in the shuttle that data is shooting at so he calms down. this would work on me 100% ngl.
#his nose should pant and his lips should curl his cheeks should flame and his brow should furl <3 (detransforms from my 2000 ft kaiju form)#u probably have to sing my name is john wellington wells at me tho#more effective. for he can prophesy w a wink of his eye peep w security into futurity...#i was playing webfishing w my friends yesterday and utilizing my meta strat which involves a lot of quick movements and keeping track of sh#and. i was in vc and i just quietly sang the 8 bit band cover of scientist salarian 3 times in a row#maybe 4 idr. my friend nat knows nothing of mass effect that isnt thru cultural osmosis from me but she fucking#loves scientist salarian. we sing it together all the time#pls listen to scientist salarian. patter songs are my special interest :)
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#sorry i just rly like how this 1 showcases the fightAHHH#i cropped it but if u watch the full vers they include knives burning at the endT_T#it makes me sooo!not normal ab their dynamic#u cannot get better than diametrically opposed siblings#and its soo much better knowing knives was the more sensitive twin . huehee (crying)#tbh love that guy.trimax knives at least idk much ab this one☝️☝️#also also the 1 post that called this the mcu bc of the cube💀BAHAHAGWHAH#THAT AERIAL SHOT BTW !!! SOOO COOL#scenes like that r sooo tasty.. yk that clip of gojo in jjk op1 . yeah.#trigun stampede#trigun#vash#knives trigun#trigun spoilers#also not sh/ip ill literally snipe u on rb#millions knives
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DON'T APOLOGISE FOR LONG RESPONSE... it is joyous actually and it is so nice hearing about like your process in getting into them and stuff :D and okok i know you said show when it's finished but i haven't had an excuse to ramble about this to another big p5r fan (i don't really know any) so if it is okay i wanna share the wip :3? it's probably not enough yet to warrant much sharing (the blank spaces make it look kind of sad tbh) but it makes me happy so what's the harm
it's been on pause for a couple months because of money reasons but i'm getting back on it now! got some more badges on the way very soon, so far it's all fanmerch which i know some ita bag makers find less authentic but i dunno i love different art and stuff...
i've had trouble finding stuff because i don't live in the US and that's where most artists sell from (esp since most charms/badges i find online exclude sumi) but slowly but surely! i'm going to attach some lace to the outside of the window, i've managed to diy some ribbons from a skirt i got at a thrift store and i'm just waiting for a chance to stick those on!
sorry for.. ending up going on about my crafting plans i'm really passionate about this topic and haven't had much of an opportunity to talk about it :3 tysm for the interest & nice response it genuinely made my day
NOOO ITS COMPLETEL YFINE OMGGG THIS IS SO CUTE ;-; the bag is gorgeous and i LOVE all your pins and charms UUAGHHH ;o; <3333 i hope you can find more merch to add to it but this already is soooo cute THE ROYALTRIO EVERRRRRRR I FREAIGN LOVE THEM SO MUCH I FEEL INSANE. DIVES INTO UR BAG I LIVE HERE NOW
#if u ever want to share more pic. my inbox always here. i love sh/uakes/umi i love p5r I LOVE#cele answers
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also such a fun feeling to go into a media knowing ok theres some stuff handled VERY badly here but thats ok -> oh theres about 60 million things that have been handled worse that no one brings up ok...
#twist rambles#like... bana/na fi/sh was soooooooooo this. like i went into it knowing id hate it but had no idea just HOW bad it is. (redacted) is like#this too but im not posting specifics on here bc id behere for DAYS. but its very infuriating. like can we talk about more issues than just#what everyone else keeps regurgitating... its why i think reading stuff u know is bad + going in w a critical lens can be good bc u can spo#stuff that u know was really shitty and also well... be able to form ur own opinion on WHY it sucks. ive never had this go in the way of wo#i started this hating it -> loved it!! but i do think it can be important to consume stuff that sucks to analyze it and pick apart WHY it#is bad and what exactly the authors intent is in it. like thats why i like being knowledgable abt stuff i hate bc then i can have good#arguments as to why its bad. anyways god sorry long tags. but its soooo like ok cool i think we need to discuss misogyny in media more
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i think our main action for emissions reduction in air travel should be publicly beheading whichever rich person had the most emissions with their private jet at the end of each year
#txt#inspired by the comments on an instagram post i saw about how plane tickets have gotten so much more expensive#which yes travelling is a luxury but normal people should be able to/allowed to travel#esp bc normal airplanes at least have several seats like the emissions get devided if u ask me#but yes if they get more expensive bc the conpanies decide to properly pay their employees i'd love that#and i see that everything is more expensive (esp oil) anyway so it makes sense#and there should be less air travel yes#but nobody on those airplanes can make the emissions in their life time that a billionair makes in a year#so it would be the greater good#not sh#saskia talks
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SHINSOU MAN, like really makes me feral thinkin like.. mans is SO nervous around you, you've been dating for a little while but hes still scared to breathe too hard around you. You both go to a mutual friends birthday and you're getting a drink for you and your mans, only to come back and he's literally in the middle of a fistfight, the other guy gets him in the jaw and he practically EATS it like its nothing, its only when you grab his white shirt with blood all over it and pull him off the other guy that you find out the guy said something SLIGHTLY disrespectful about you in your dress. And you have to try not to fuck him right there and help him clean the blood off his chin.
Under the awfully-yellow sting of the bathroom's florescent lights, it's the third time in a row you've tried to dab at Shinso's lip with an alcohol soaked cotton ball, trying (but mostly failing) to staunch the flow of blood which continues to pool and crack at the left corner of his mouth.
The split is only one of the two real injuries he came away from the fight with (aside from the potential concussion he might have no matter how fast he recovered from being punched between the eyes), but every time you try to press into the wound and wipe up the mess that was left behind, Shinso leans away as if to weaken the effect of your touch.
"Shinso, let me try. Please,” you beg. "You’ve gotta stop acting like this."
"This?" he finally responds, surprisingly egregious in tone for someone of his usually-very-cool temperament, eyebrows going halfway up his actively-bruising forehead as he snaps his head to face you. The sudden movement causes your hand to go skidding across his cheek, leaving a long red stain straight up to the swollen temple he's currently holding a bag of melting ice against. "The guy said he’d—”
"I know what he said," you cut him off, throwing down the now-soggy puff onto the porcelain countertop as you step back and glare. "I'm talking about the fact you're barely letting me help clean you up."
Shinso rolls his eyes. "You think I asked for help dealing with this?”
“It’s not fair for you to hurt yourself if I’m just meant to sit there and watch. We’re supposed to be dating. Are we?”
"What,” you can tell he’s trying not to raise his voice, especially as you reach out to trace your fingers down his arms, “do you think?"
"Hitoshi," he finally looks at you straight when you say that name, his body instantly going still. “I am being dead serious. Either you were standing up for me, or you just wanted to pick a fight. Which is it?"
If possible, the man's frown deepens even further, though you can feel the way his muscles begins to relax as he tries to calm himself under your touch.
He pauses a minutes to swallow. And to stare. And then, “you,” he finally says, unblinking. "I was doing it for you."
You lean back in finally, tenderly, pulling him into a soft kiss where his lips fit perfectly against yours and the taste of blood the last thing on your mind.
"Good," you pull back, only slightly, near breathless. "So let me help you. At least before I thank you.”
-
(someone get this man some ginseng… sorry i went insane anon!! shinso just makes me a lil wet. I hope this was okay)
#shinso#uhhhhh I tired I edit this later maybe#please say it’s not sh*t#and I hope the dynamic mad sense!!! dumb*ss thinks he has to do everything alone#as if you’re not DATING and he doesn’t wanna scare you off or make you do any more work than necessary#meanwhile he doesn’t realize his tenseness translates as pushing u away#bla bla blah I had more to say but#I scared#anyway I love u by#the taking a hit no problem made me faint#caitie things#gen#anon
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#corrchoigilt#;saved#saved#S.KELLY?!?! THE WAY UR COOKING A WHOLE ASS MEAL HERE?????#NOT EVEN SOUP IN A POT ATTHIS POINT; SOUP IN A WHOLE ASS CAULDRON!!#<- the face of h.yde when he knows he will be able to extort j.ekyll over his feelings#LISTEN- if j.ekyll is not willing to let him out more often then he'll find a way o u t regardless#even if that means mentally destroying his other side#NONONO BUT HANG ON I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT#holy sh it how interesting this is ohmygod-#'idealistic daydream' U PUT IT IN WORDS SO PERFECTLY!!!#WHEN U PUT; 'he is in love with the idea of /being/ loved' U GET IT S.KELLY!!! U GET ITTTT#j.ekyll is an idealist; yet at the same time; a man on the verge of loosing all hope in one jump#he is constantly threading across this very thin line that is his sanity so its also why#its so easy for him to cling onto anything no matter how absurd or fantastical it seems#he wasnt like this before he got into this whole experiment on himself; or well; not in such an extreme lenght#but now its like;; anything that feels like could save him; he'll cling onto that desperately#the idea of love; love as something that could save him; which leads to putting cú into this high pedestal; like he's an angel to him#and also why its so easy to get to him; why its so easy for him to fall under fantasies#my mans is desperate for a thread of light even if its at the cost of being delusional to himself#not a v nice place to fall into;#love as salvation; as a last bit of hope; the last thread he can think of that could keep him from falling into despair#ur so right; theres just a lot of tragedy on all this ffrfr-#bc how could the purest emotion to humans (love) fail him? it must be the answer surely (is running around like a headless chicken)
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🚨 SPOILERS🚨
Kingdom of Ash Chapter 50
Rowan's hands tightened on Aelin's shoulders as the words settled into her, hollow and cold.
"Maeve is a Valg queen?" he breathed.
Aelin said nothing. Couldn't find the words. Her power roiled. She didn't feel it.
Nesryn nodded solemnly. "Yes. The kharankui told us the entire history."
And so Nesryn did as well. Of how Maeve had somehow found a way into this world, fleeing or bored with her husband, Orcus. Erawan's elder brother. Of how Erawan, Orcus, and Mantyx had torn apart worlds to find her, Orcus's missing wife, and only halted here because the Fae had risen to challenge them. Fae led by Maeve, whom the Valg kings did not know or recognize, in the form she had taken.
The life she had crafted for herself. The minds of all the Fae who had existed that she had ripped into, convincing them that there had been three queens, not two. Including the minds of Mab and Mora, the two sister-queens who had ruled Doranelle. Including Brannon himself.
"The spiders claimed," Nesryn went on, "that even Brannon didn't know. Even now, in the Afterworld, he doesn't know. That was how deep Maeve's powers went into his mind, into all their minds. She made herself their true queen."
The words, the truth, pelted Aelin, one after another.
Elide's face was white as death. "But she fears the healers." A nod toward Yrene. "She keeps that owl, you said—an enslaved Fae healer-should the Valg ever discover her." For that was the other piece of it. The other thing Nesryn had revealed, Chaol and Yrene adding in their own accounts. The Valg were parasites. And Yrene could cure their human hosts of them. Had done so for Princess Duva. And might be able to do with so many others enslaved with rings or collars. But what had infested Duva ... A Valg princess.
Aelin leaned back into her chair, her head resting against the solid wall of Rowan's body.
His hands shook against her shoulders. Shook as he seemed to realize what, exactly, had ripped into his mind. Where Maeve's power had come from that allowed her to do so. Why she remained deathless and ageless, and had outlasted any other. Why Maeve's power was darkness.
"It is also why she fears fire," Sartaq said, jerking his chin to Aelin. "Why she fears you so."
And why she'd wanted to break her. To be just like that enslaved healer bound in owl form at her side.
"I thought—I managed to cut her once," Aelin said at last. That quiet, ancient darkness pushed in, dragging her down, down, down-" I saw her blood flow black. Then it changed to red." She blew out a breath, pulling out of the darkness, the silence that wanted to devour her whole. Made herself straighten. Peer at Fenrys.
"You said that her blood tasted ordinary to you when you swore the oath." The white wolf shifted back into his Fae body. His bronze skin was ashen, his dark eyes swimming with dread. "It did."
Rowan growled, "It didn't taste any different to me, either."
"A glamour-like the form she maintains," Gavriel mused.
Nesryn nodded. "From what the spiders said, it seems entirely possible that she would be able to convince you that her blood looked and tasted like Fae blood."
Fenrys made a sound like he was going to be sick. Aelin was inclined to do the same.
And from far away—a memory-that-was-not-a-memory stirred. Of summer nights spent in a forest glen, Maeve instructing her. Telling her a story about a queen who walked between worlds.
Who had not been content in the realm in which she'd been born, and had found a way to leave it, using the lost knowledge of ancient wayfarers. World-walkers.
Maeve had told her. Perhaps a skewed, biased tale, but she'd told her. Why? Why do it at all? Some way to win her-or to make her hesitate, should it ever come to this?
"But Maeve hates the Valg kings," Elide said, and even from the silent, drifting place to which Aelin had gone, she could see the razor-sharp mind churning behind Elide's eyes. "She's hidden for this long. Surely she wouldn't ally with them."
"She ran at the chance to get hold of a Valg collar," Fenrys said darkly. "Seemed convinced that she could control the prince inside it."
Not only through Maeve's power, but because she was a demon queen.
Aelin forced herself to take another breath. Another. Her fingers curled, gripping an invisible weapon.
Lorcan had not uttered a word. Had done nothing but stand there, pale and silent. As if he'd stopped being in his body, too.
"We don't know her plans," Nesryn said.
"The kharankui have not seen her for millennia, and only hear whisperings carried by lesser spiders. But they still worship her, and wait for her return."
Chaol met Aelin's stare, his gaze questioning.
Aelin said quietly, "I was Maeve's prisoner for two months."
Utter silence in the tent. Then she explained—all of it. Why she was not in Terrasen, who now fought there, where Dorian and Manon had gone.
Aelin swallowed as she finished, leaning into Rowan's touch. "Maeve wished me to reveal the location of the two Wyrdkeys. Wanted me to hand them over, but I managed to get them away before she took me. To Doranelle. She wanted to break me to her will. To use me to conquer the world, I thought. But it perhaps now seems she wanted to use me as a shield against the Valg, to guard her always." The words tumbled out, heavy and sharp. "I was her captive until nearly a month ago." She nodded toward her court. "When I got free, they found me again."
Silence fell again, her new companions at a loss. She didn't blame them.
Then Hasar hissed, "We'll make the bitch pay for that, too, won't we?"
Aelin met the princess's dark stare. "Yes, we will."
A Valg queen.
That's who had held his Fireheart. What sort of power had tried to break into her mind.
What power had broken into Rowan's mind.
All their minds, if she could glamour her blood to look and taste ordinary.
He felt the tension rising in Aelin, a raging storm that nearly hummed into his hands as he gripped her shoulders.
Yet her flames made no appearance. They hadn't shown so much as an ember these weeks, despite how hard they'd trained. Occasionally, he'd spy Goldryn's ruby gleaming while she held it, as if fire glowed in the heart of the stone. But nothing more. Not even when they'd tangled in their bed on the ship, when his teeth had found that mark on her neck.
Elide surveyed them all, their silence, and said to their new companions, "Perhaps we should determine a plan of action regarding tomorrow's battle." And give them time, later tonight, to sort through this colossal mess.
Chaol nodded. "We brought a trunk of books with us," he said to Aelin. "From the Torre. They're all full of Wyrdmarks." Aelin didn't so much as blink, but Chaol finished, "If we get through this battle, they're yours to peruse. In case there's anything in them that might help." Against Erawan, against Maeve, against his mate's terrible fate. Aelin just vaguely nodded.
So Rowan forced himself to shove away the shock and disgust and fear, and focus upon the plan ahead. Only Gavriel seemed able to do the same, Fenrys staying where he was, and Lorcan just staring and staring at nothing.
Aelin remained in her chair, simmering.
Roiling.
They planned it quickly and efficiently: they would return with Chaol and Yrene to the keep, to help with the fighting tomorrow. The khaganate royals would push from here, Nesryn and Prince Sartaq leading the ruks, and Princess Hasar commanding the foot soldiers and Darghan cavalry. A brilliantly trained, lethal group. Rowan had already marked the Darghan soldiers, with their fine horses and armor, their spears and crested helmets, while they'd strode for this tent, and breathed a sigh of relief at their skill. Perhaps the last sigh of relief he'd have in this war. Certainly if the khagan's forces hadn't yet decided where they would take this army afterward. He supposed it was fair-so many territories were now in Morath's path-but when this battle was over, he'd make damn sure they marched northward. To Terrasen.
But tomorrow-tomorrow they'd hammer Morath's legion against the keep walls, Chaol and Rowan leading the men from inside, picking off enemy soldiers.
Aelin didn't volunteer to do anything. Didn't indicate that she'd heard them.
And when they'd all deemed the plan sound, along with a contingency plan should it go awry, Nesryn only said, "We'll find you ruks to carry you back to the keep," before Aelin stormed into the frigid night, Rowan barely keeping up with her.
No embers trailed her. Mud did not hiss beneath her boots.
There was no fire at all. Not a spark.
As if Maeve had snuffed out that flame.
Made her fear it.
Hate it.
Aelin cut through the neatly organized tents, past horses and their armored riders, past foot soldiers around campfires, past the ruk riders and their mighty birds, who filled him with such awe he had no words for it. All the way to the eastern edge of the camp and the plains that stretched past, the space wide and hollow after the closeness of the army.
She didn't stop until she reached a stream they'd crossed only hours ago. It was nearly frozen over, but a stomp of her boot had the ice cracking. Breaking free to reveal dark water kissed with silvery starlight.
Then she fell to her knees and drank.
Drank and drank, cupping the water to her mouth. It had to be cold enough to burn, but she kept at it until she braced her hands on her knees and said, "I can't do this."
Rowan sank to a knee, the shield he'd kept around her while she stalked here sealing out the cold wind off the open plain.
"I-I can't—" She took a shuddering breath, and covered her face with her wet hands.
Gently, Rowan gripped her wrists and lowered them. "You do not face this alone."
Anguish and terror filled those beautiful eyes, and his chest tightened to the point of pain as she said, "It was a fool's shot against Erawan. But against him and Maeve? She gathered an army to her. Is likely bringing that army to Terrasen right now. And if Erawan summons his two brothers, if the other kings return—"
"He needs the two other keys to do that. He doesn't have them."
Her fingers curled, digging into her palms hard enough that the tang of her blood filled the air. "I should have gone after the keys. Right away. Not come here. Not done this."
"It is Dorian's task now, not yours. He will not fail at it."
"It is my task, and always has been—"
"We made the choice to come here, and we will stick to that decision," he snarled, not bothering to temper his tone. "If Maeve is indeed bringing her army to Terrasen, then it only confirms that we were right to come here. That we must convince the khagan's forces to go northward after this. It is the only chance we stand of succeeding."
Aelin ran her hands through her hair.
Streams of blood stained the gold. "I cannot win against them. Against a Valg king and queen." Her voice turned to a rasp. "They have already won."
"They have not." And though Rowan hated each word, he growled, "And you survived two months against Maeve with no magic to protect you. Two months of a Valg queen trying to break into your head, Aelin. To break you."
Aelin shook. "She did, though." Rowan waited for it. Aelin whispered, "I wanted to die by the end, before she ever threatened me with the collar. And even now, I feel like someone has ripped me from myself. Like I'm at the bottom of the sea, and who I am, who I was, is far up at the surface, and I will never get back there again."
He didn't know what to say, what to do other than to gently pull her fingers from her palms.
"Did you buy the swagger, the arrogance?" she demanded, voice breaking. "Did the others? Because I've been trying to. I've been trying like hell to convince myself that it's real, reminding myself I only need to pretend to be how I was just long enough."
Long enough to forge the Lock and die.
He said softly, "I know, Aelin." He hadn't bought the winks and smirks for a heartbeat.
Aelin let out a sob that cracked something in him. "I can't feel me-myself anymore. It's like she snuffed it out. Ripped me from it. She, and Cairn, and everything they did to me." She gulped down air, and Rowan wrapped her in his arms and pulled her onto his lap. "I am so tired," she wept. "I am so, so tired, Rowan."
"I know." He stroked her hair. "I know." It was all there really was to say.
Rowan held her until her weeping eased and she lay still, nestled against his chest.
"I don't know what to do," she whispered
"You fight," he said simply. "We fight. Until we can't anymore. We fight."
She sat up, but remained on his lap, staring into his face with a rawness that destroyed him.
Rowan laid a hand on her chest, right over that burning heart. "Fireheart."
A challenge and a summons.
She placed her hand atop his, warm despite the frigid night. As if that fire had not yet gone out entirely. But she only gazed up at the stars.
To the Lord of the North, standing watch.
"We fight," she breathed.
Aelin found Fenrys by a quiet fire, gazing into the crackling flames.
She sat on the log beside him, raw and open and trembling, but … the salt of her tears had washed away some of it. Steadied her. Rowan had steadied her, and still did, as he kept watch from the shadows beyond the fire.
Fenrys lifted his head, his eyes as hollow as she knew hers had been.
"Whenever you need to talk about it," she said, her voice still hoarse, "I'm here."
Fenrys nodded, his mouth a tight line. "Thank you."
The camp was readying for their departure, but Aelin scooted closer, and sat beside him in silence for long minutes.
Two healers, marked only by the white bands around their biceps, hurried past, arms full of bandages. Aelin tensed. Focused on her breathing.
Fenrys marked her line of sight. "They were horrified, you know," he said quietly. "Every time she brought them in to … fix you."
The two healers vanished around a tent.
Aelin flexed her fingers, shaking the lightness from them. "It didn't stop them from doing it."
"They didn't have a choice."
She met his dark stare. Fenrys's mouth tightened. "No one would have left you in those states. No one."
Broken and bloody and burned—
She gripped Goldryn's hilt. Helpless.
"They defied her in their own way," Fenrys went on. "Sometimes, she'd order them to bring you back to consciousness. Often, they claimed they couldn't, that you'd fallen too deeply into oblivion. But I knew—I think Maeve did, too— that they put you there. For as long as possible. To buy you time."
She swallowed. "Did she punish them?"
"I don't know. It was never the same healers." Maeve likely had. Had likely ripped their minds apart for their defiance.
Aelin's grip tightened on the sword at her side.
Helpless. She had been helpless. As so many in this city, in Terrasen, in this continent, were helpless. Goldryn's hilt warmed in her hand.
She wouldn't be that way again. For whatever time she had left.
Gavriel padded up beside Rowan, took one look at the queen and Fenrys, and murmured, "Not the news we needed to hear."
Rowan closed his eyes for a heartbeat. "No, it was not."
Gavriel settled a hand on Rowan's shoulder.
"It changes nothing, in some ways."
"How."
"We served her. She was ... not what Aelin is. What a queen should be. We knew that long before we knew the truth. If Maeve wants to use what she is against us, to ally with Morath, then it changes things. But the past is over. Done with, Rowan. Knowing Maeve is Valg or just a wretched person doesn't change what happened."
"Knowing a Valg queen wants to enslave my mate, and nearly did so, changes a great deal."
"But we know what Maeve fears, why she fears it," Gavriel countered, his tawny eyes bright. "Fire, and the healers. If Maeve comes with that army of hers, we are not defenseless." It was true. Rowan could have cursed himself for not thinking of it already. Another question formed, though. "Her army," Rowan said. "It's made up of Fae."
"So was her armada," Gavriel said warily.
Rowan ran a hand through his hair. "Will you be able to live with it-fighting our own people?" Killing them.
"Will you?" Gavriel countered.
Rowan didn't answer.
Gavriel asked after a moment, "Why didn't Aelin offer me the blood oath?"
The male hadn't asked these weeks. And Rowan wasn't sure why Gavriel inquired now, but he gave him the truth. "Because she won't do it until Aedion has taken the oath first. To offer it to you before him ... she wants Aedion to take it first."
"In case he doesn't wish me to be near his kingdom."
"So that Aedion knows she placed his needs before her own."
Gavriel bowed his head. "I would say yes, if she offered."
"I know." Rowan clapped his oldest friend on the back. "She knows, too."
The Lion gazed northward. "Do you think ... we haven't heard any news from Terrasen."
"If it had fallen, if Aedion had fallen, we would know. People here would know."
Gavriel rubbed at his chest. "We've been to war. He's been to war. Fought on battlefields as a child, gods be damned." Rage flickered over Gavriel's face. Not at what Aedion had done, but what he'd been made to do by fate and misfortune. What Gavriel had not been there to prevent. "But I still dread every day that passes and we hear nothing. Dread every messenger we see."
A terror Rowan had never known, different from his fear for his mate, his queen. The fear of a father for his child.
He didn't allow himself to look toward Aelin. To remember his dreams while hunting for her. The family he'd seen. The family they'd make together.
"We must convince the khaganate royals to march northward when this battle is over," Gavriel swore softly.
Rowan nodded. "If we can smash this army tomorrow, and convince the royals that Terrasen is the only course of action, then we could indeed be heading north soon. You might be fighting at Aedion's side by Yulemas."
Gavriel's hands clenched at his sides, tattoos spreading over his knuckles. "If he will allow me that honor."
Rowan would make Aedion allow it. But he only said, "Gather Elide and Lorcan. The ruks are almost ready to depart."
#Chapter 50#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Rowan Whitethorn#Aelin Galathynius#Rowaelin#Fenrys Moonbeam#Maeve#Gavriel#Chaol Westfall#Yrene Towers#Nesryn Faliq#Lorcan Salvaterre#Elide Lochan#no spoilers please this is my first read to go along with me there are chapter spoilers in post and tags with more reacts notes quotes etc#Mantyx(these names)it settled the known hurt2hear-what the world now is this war is so big-each accounts & stories told-what Maeve had done#true tale-she leaned on him like she had from the beginning2stop her from falling from running from failing from drowning in the ice-Fenrys#will say it-isit a Valg glamour?-mountains-memory thats not a memory-real or not real-“world walkers”-why tell her?-Elide&Annieth-whitedemo#hed broken2-what really happened-we will-break my heart-I know-Im tried-we fight-the way he just goes okay then it shall Bthat & done-Storm#held fast-no embers but the Ruby knows-old marks remade-like the hof days-brilliantly lethal-no one could leave u like that-he hated that#t had smothered her no spark just grief-fear-drinking the river feels mythology esc-his shields-never alone again-defending her2her-blood-#staining gold-gently2k her hands-crying-u survived this but but I didnt feeling-he hated the word but said the truth-I will never get back#who I was am-the way this chapter knows grief-just long enough-something cracked in me reading it-I dont feel me-so he held her-challenge#summons-lord of the north standing watch-shell pass it on as their queen-Fenrys again-Gavriel knew-hes giving Carlisle Cullen vibes-Rowan i#her steady equal but yes their horrified even of what it meant occured-they defied4her-bought oblivion so they could-that owl-but healing-#hurt2 even that was a scar-what he saw happen2the girl was worse-never the same-it changes nothing-what a queen should b-not defenseless-sh#will not always fear the fire&healing-why no oath4him?oh its4him… kindness-she needs Aedion2know hes needed before her own-he cant live if#she doesnt-Im dying here-HIS Queen-good ole Yulemas-lidia&Lyria#For him the truth would be the most horrendous.—shock—I fucking love Hasar & her reply joining defend Aelin squad-quiet words-YES WE WILL#At least Theres a backup plan. A storm. Fate is feeling heavier-good thing Elide learned to read it-
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Too [insert adjective here] for guard ...................
Well, it's only half related.
We "hit a pothole", "had a slipup", whatever you want to call it — sunday. Aka: for the sake of my sanity we are not labeling it a relapse but good god does it feel as though I have invited the demons back in.
I know why, but I don't really know why. Because, I mean... I never have, to begin with. So: when I decided i was doing it sunday, i accepted it. "Let it happen", as someone would probably say to me. It's not...
I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's like anything - it comes and goes, a few times a year, and no matter what, I always ignore it.
Except, maybe there's something I'm not paying attention to? Or, ignoring, is the better word for it?
Of course it would be the one thing I have happening in my life.
November, I was burnt out for unrelated reasons. It was a lot to take in. That made sense. Now? ... why now?
There's not really any pressure on me. Yes, I have to do things, yes, it will be noticed if they're bad, but ...... it's not important. We don't spend time on it. I'm coming back next year, but it might be at the cost of ... all of this. I think it's progress. I haven't touched my guitar in any serious capacity in over a year. I think it's progress.
I don't take compliments well. I can't tell if that's why I don't get them, but I'm not being corrected much either. Only when I drift too far from what the work is supposed to be, only after weeks of it going, I can only assume, unnoticed. I keep getting stuck.
...push it back down.
Telling me I'm doing good isn't telling me what I know I have to be getting wrong. I could take it, at the cost of... all of this. I'm anticipating, and I know it can come. This is not where I was when I started.
It's been said, I haven't been told, that not starting it means you're more of a burden, by making the other person have to do it first. I know that. I do. And still it doesn't help. I'm not drowning. It wasn't an accident, but it wasn't planned, either. I don't know you.
I don't know you.
I'm not a good person. I'm not a nice person. Every week I tell myself this is really it, and every week I come back, and ... what? Forget I ever said anything? Forget we're not friends?
Well, we're not, huh? Nobody is, with me. What you see I swear you misunderstand. You don't ask. If you do, well, I can't answer. We're at an impasse.
It's not even my fault we didn't make it. I shouldn't feel like this over nothing. I don't do anything. You will, correctly, not let me do anything, because potential doesn't matter if you can't back it up. If you won't back it up. I let things happen to me.
I don't even feel better. And, actually, ironically, i think i know what would let me feel better. If I can't be upset with anyone else, at least I can be with myself.
... but, well, not even that. Your heart in my hands, but I mean it diegetically. And metaphorically. I hate putting myself out there, I hate having to actually perform, and yet every time, no matter what, I do it. I'm fine. I only cared at the start, and even then not very.
I don't feel anything. Not a lot, anyways. I don't let it happen. I can't. I don't know what it'll mean if I start being honest with myself.
...
I've pulled myself out of this before. A few times, now. Different circumstances, but I've done it all the same. Seasonal depression notwithstanding.
I'm only here because I did things I was scared to. And still, I'm the same. No progress made. The only way out is to do it again but I feel like I can't. I can't.
Will someone just let me say that?
Will someone just fucking help for once?
#sh tw#(implied - i know i didnt actually say it in the post but yes i did c** myself sunday)#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#im cursed with being a bit too self aware so#i think its compounded by my nepotism hire ... not letting me do my nepotism hire things#(for legal reasons i cannot say)#and then to add to that not letting me do anything I probably COULD actually do given slightly more instruction (at guard)#its just ... im a very angry person actually . except right now thats because im not EATING RIGHT EITHER#BECAUSE ALL OF MY PROBLEMS ARE COMBINING INTO ONE BIG INTERCONNECTED PROBLEM#back to my point.#guard instructors decided that for my first year i will not do anything cool because i'm not able to learn in about 2 seconds flat#[read: get very upset very quickly when i get things wrong and then . cant do them because im trying not to have a breakdown over]#[something REALLY STUPID like NOT BEING ABLE TO DO A SIMPLE TURN WHILE MOVING WITH THE FLAG]#so like okay. i get it okay. i'm not good at this. could you at least TELL ME i suck so i can feel justified about feeling bad about it.#could you just fucking tell me this isn't a guard where you can show up with no experience. could you do me a real solid and tell me that.#i dont know maybe the real sign it wasnt for me was when i was seriously considering not turning up for the second 'audition'#really i just hate how much he yells at us. not even at ME because i do so little there is no room to fuck it up. just at everyone else .#it doesn't motivate me to come back but i NEED 'friends' so bad and i love performing so now i just get anxious enough that i cant eat ..#.. before going to rehearsal. which is stupid. because i've done it a million times before.#......#i'm just.... everyone says he isn't actually that bad. & he used to be worse. so it really is just me.#it's just me being oversensitive. because i've never had any REAL experience in ... just about anything#so; yes. it IS on me how I feel and obviously how I react. and I keep pushing it down because it's stupid; really; to still feel this way.#anyways. our last weekend without a competition is this very weekend#so you'll never guess who's having a REALLY FUCKING HARD TIME trying to practice#i'm like this close to going to bed early and without having done the dance warmup for the third day in a row.#лёва there is no TIME why are you STILL NOT PRACTICING for the love of god get it together#(oh also when i say 'friends' in quotes it is because i desparately want to believe we're friends but they dont even talk to me really)#(and because im not even IN most of the show theres not much to bond over. literally like i have everything down Decent enough (apparently)#so theres not even any 'i will help u with this toss' team bonding. no shared moment of we are all out of breath because i DONT DO ANYTHING
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🪽… ( reaction ) have you ever tried this one ? ̨ ! ୨୧ 一 스트레이키즈 ՞
⸃ ⸰ ⌁ straykids favorite positions to fuck you in ヾ
boyfriend!스트레이키즈・ fem!reader g ・ smut cw ・ unprotected sex, oral sex ( F ), dirty talk, nsfw links. wc ・ 1.2k | click to library
「 ୨୧ authors note 」 tried something new today and added links no i cant make longer drabbles for any of these …
﹙ 𐙚 : bangchan ﹚ .ᐟ
wants you to feel all of him; he wants to be as deep as he can possibly be, that’s why nine times out of ten chan will have you folded in a mating press, stretching you out with his big cock. “fuck!” you screamed as the man above you fucked into you , holding your legs up to your chest. “deeper please.” no matter how deep he is , you want more — you want him to breed you. “fuck baby im already in your guts, how deep do you want me.” he grunted, feeling his cock twitch inside you. “want me to breed this pretty pussy.” you scream out, answering his question. “fuck yes!” moaning out feeling your cunt tightening around him. “sh-shit , that’s what you want? for me to fill this pretty pussy?” you moaned. “fu-fuck yes chan.” you moaned out. “fuck im gonna cum.” he hissed.
“gonna cum inside this pretty pussy.”
﹙ 𐙚 : lee know ﹚ .ᐟ
we all know lee know is an ass man, he’s revealed this on numerous occasions. when he fucks you, he wants you ass up so he can watch your ass recoil against him. “that’s it.” cursing , holding your hip with one hand , rutting into you. “shit keep moving that ass.” he was hypnotized by the way your ass moved. “fuck minho!” you screamed into the pillow. “fuck don’t stop.” he didn’t either , the grip on your waist tightening as he moved his hips faster. “fuck I’m gonna cum.” he breathed out. “gonna fucking cum.” he groaned , pulled out stroking his cock. “fuck im cumming!” he howled as he came all over your ass. “shit baby.” he slapped your ass, you helped out
“god i fucking love your ass so much.”
﹙ 𐙚 : changbin ﹚ .ᐟ
changbin loves to show off his strength; he doesn’t spend his days in the gym just for fun. showing you how manly he his, lifting you up and fucking you in the air. your arms wrapped tightly around his neck, his hand firmly grasping your ass holding you up as he pounded into you. “oh my god changbin!” your legs dangling on the side. “fuck me!” he held you up like you were nothing. “so-so strong.” he smirked. “yo-you like that?” he stuttered out, his voice deep. “shit , you like how i can lift you up and fuck you on my fat cock. nodding dumbly, babbling nonsense. “y-yes.” he cursed , bouncing you on his cock. “pl-please be careful.” you stuttered. “do-don’t worry baby im not gonna drop you.”
“gaining these muscle just so i can fuck you like this.”
﹙ 𐙚 : hyunjin ﹚ .ᐟ
hyunjin fucking loves morning sex , rolling over on his side , spooning you pulling your clothes down, his cock hard as a rock as slid inside you, sighing in relief. “so-so warm baby.” his sexy morning voice in your ear as his hand came up u onto your boobs , feeling up your body , squeezing your boobs. “fe-feel so nice baby.” he rutted into you. “so fucking nice , i love you so much.” his hands in between your legs, rub your clit — the sun was bleeding into the room. “hy-hyune im gonna cum.” you moaned out , he opened your legs , rutting into you harder. “cum for me princess.” letting you cum, him following right after. “sh-shit baby.” he let your legs go , kissing your neck tenderly
“good morning princess , you felt so good.”
﹙ 𐙚 : han jisung ﹚ .ᐟ
just put him in between your legs and let him do his thing, han jisung certified munch ! he doesn’t care whether he’s on top or if you’re on top. as long as he can taste your sweet cunt and feel your soft tittes in his hands , he is in heaven. “shit baby keep doing that.” you moaned, hands tangled in his hair , pushing him deeper into your mound. “fuck more.” hips moving against your will, he was that good , lapping at your cunt. “fuck im gonna cum.” he hummed as you came on his tongue, coating his tongue. “fuck you taste so good.” he pulled away. “like candy.” he bought his fingers to his mouth, bringing them back to your slit. “wanna make you cum again.” he rubbed your bud.
“wanna make a mess of you.”
﹙ 𐙚 : felix ﹚ .ᐟ
ride him in his gaming chair and his life is yours. he loves this shit — you “ innocently “ sitting in his lap , which ends up with you both naked , his game long forgotten as you milked him for everything he had. “sh-shit.” he held your lower back letting you do what you wanted before he pulled you flush against him , pressing down on your lower stomach. “lixie.” he squeezed your boobs. “lo-love you feel so good wrapped around me.” he moaned. “so fucking warm.” he kissed your boobs , bucking his hips up. “lix I’m gonna cum.” you whined , he rubbed your clit. “cum for me.” he whispered into your ear. “cum for me like a good girl.” releasing all over him.
the game was long forgotten after that , he was ready to make you cum all over again.
﹙ 𐙚 : seungmin ﹚ .ᐟ
you’re always on top, but he’s always in charge. his legs flat against the bed fucking up into you , his hands yanking your back , making you scream. “sl-slut.” he growled. “letting me fuck you like this , you’re so nasty.” his thrust were brutal , your ass bright red from his previous slapping. “you like being fuck like a whore?” he asked , knowing you can’t ask. “whose whore are you.” he yanked your hair. “i asked you a question , whose whore are you?” you were a mess , trying to get the words out. “yours -fuck!- im your whore minnie.” you let out a pornographic moan. “fuck I’m gonna cum.” he let your cum , holing you down as he emptied his load inside of you , holding you close to whisper in your ear.
“that’s right , you’re my whore.”
﹙ 𐙚 : jeongin ﹚ .ᐟ
your body pressed flatly against the bed, arms pinned behind your back , jeongin kissing the sweet spot on your neck as , the kisses sweet and soft — a completely different from how deep he was inside you. “i-innie.” you babbled , he let your arms go , his hand wrapping around your neck, choking you lightly. “yo-you feel that -fuck- that’s my cock deep inside your pussy.” he grunted in your ear. “so-so deep.” he kissed your cheek. “i know baby , i know.” he moaned. “going dumb on my cock aren’t you.” your eyes rolling to the back of your head, his strokes were slow but deep. “just take it , that’s all you can do.” his hand tightening around your throat. “you can’t take it.”
“take it like a good fu-fucking girl.”
©️LUVYENI
#stray kids smut#kpop x reader#kpop smut#stray kids x reader#skz hard hours#skz smut#stray kids hard hours#stray kids hard thoughts#skz hard thoughts#skz reactions#stray kids texts#bang chan smut#bang chan x reader#lee know smut#lee know x reader#changbin smut#seo changbin x reader#hwang hyunjin smut#hwang hyunjin x reader#han jisung x reader#han jisung smut#kim seungmin smut#kim seungmin x reader#yang jeongin smut#yang jeongin x reader
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Behind the Wall
Who was this stressed, suited man...and how could you love him so easily?
A Nanami Kento glory hole story.
Warnings: 18+, MDNI, Corporate!Nanami (before return to sorcery), falling in love with a stranger, hand jobs, blowjobs, fingering, excessive cum, creampie, anonymous PiV sex, tiny bit angsty if you squint
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"How much do they pay you here?" A deep voice, smooth, but rusted with whiskey and smoke.
Your eyebrows raised spontaneously; kneeling down behind your black screen and hole, you didn't necessarily expect the small-talk with your clients to be romantic, but such business-like enquiries did not suit the tone, either.
Regardless, you would accept almost any pay, to find somewhere clear of the monsters that plagued you; the monsters that had chased you from job after job after job. None had followed you here tonight, it seemed, so you answered, trying to sound light-hearted.
"About industry average, I think."
A huff, the man's voice now bitter; "After they skim the majority off for themselves after your hard work, though."
You shrugged, as if he could see. He hadn't even begun to hook his cock out yet, so all you could see was a pair of lean, long legs in a black pinstripe suit. You found yourself tickled by your interaction beginning with anti-Capitalist outrage, and you quipped.
"Great pension plan, though."
"I somehow doubt that."
You laughed, musical and sweet, and were satisfied to hear another huff, the barest hint of laughter from your stranger, before his voice toned lower, his words for your ears and yours alone.
"Well...though I'm sure you deserve better than this place, I'll make it worth your while. I have to get back to work, and I'm sure you have bills to pay."
Beautifully veined, thick, long hands had begun to undo his belt, and you felt a strange thrill of excitement that you didn't feel with the other men. He sighed, unzipping, hooking out a long, thick, pretty cock that looked painfully hard and weeping pre-cum.
"I can't concentrate like this, I'll just...get this poison out and then I can focus."
He sounded almost apologetic, his words dripping with loathing in a way that made you frown. You reached one finger out through your hole, beckoning, tender as you whispered.
"Well, I can help with that."
Your stranger had grasped his cock to direct it through your glory hole, but hesitated at your tone, as if the tenderness you gave him was an odd specimen, requiring examination before he could accept it.
The tip of his cock, pink and full, nudged against your cheek and nose as it pressed through the hole. You heard your suited stranger hiss and shudder. You couldn't help but be impressed by your stranger's size, spitting onto the tip before beginning to stroke him in long, languid, practiced strokes.
"How do you hide this beast when you get a boner at work--"
A huff again, almost amused, drawing out into a ragged, needy groan. His fingertips pressed on the board on the other side, white-knuckled, his voice straining as he tried to speak past the pleasure of your pumping hand.
"--sit-- sit at my desk...hoping it'll go away-- fuck, you're good...just help me, please...pay you well, just-- just get it out and I'll head back--"
Your suited man groaned again, deep and fractured as your hand picked up its pace. When you spat on his tip again, your lips ghosting against him, he bucked involuntarily, cursing and apologising under his breath. When you drew the flat of your tongue across his slit to taste the salty pre-cum there, he almost whimpered with divine agony.
You felt a squirm of pleasure in your belly, sure that his beautiful voice alone could form the soundtrack you could orgasm to, night after night.
"You sound like you should have a girlfriend to help you with this." You bit your lip, satisfied to hear how his cool, bored tone had broken into something altogether more desperate.
"--sh-shit, u-ungh...any woman deserves better...better than anything I can offer-- f-fuck, I'm close already--"
You felt it; his balls were too big to fit through the hole alongside his cock, and they looked heavy, aching, his body struggling to draw them up as your suited man threatened to spill in your hand after a single flat minute. You whispered to him, soft in a way that offered him an intimacy he was clearly desperately lacking.
"Stop hating yourself when you should be coming in my hand, big guy."
When his knees buckled against your wall at you cuffing the base of his cock with your other hand, making the veins stand proud, you knew he was crumbling.
"--a-agghh fuck-- come too hard if you-- if you keep that up...shit, like a cock ring, I..."
You hoped that when he came, some of his abject self-loathing would pour away, too. His groans were rapidly turning into short little growls, the screen shaking as he bucked into your fist with such desperate force.
"--f-fuck, good girl, perfect...unnnhhh, perfect...shit, I'm...I'm..."
"God, you really do need thi--"
Your voice broke off with a squeak to feel a veritable fountain of cum spurt over your face, stripe after stripe of thick white release spattering over your cheeks, flooding down your hand and chest.
"O-oh-- wow--"
Your mouth dropped open in shock as your suited man grunted and cursed through his orgasm, his balls heavy and twitching, and you tasted a drip of his seed trickle down your nose and onto your tongue. Musty, sweet; nothing like its thickness would suggest.
His cock twitched for what seemed like an eternity in your hand, as you stroked him down from his peak, so covered in cum that you considered you may have to call it a night to go home and shower. As his groans faded, his voice ragged, you felt the guilt and shame radiate off him in waves.
"Shit, that was...ugh, I'm sorry. It's disgusting, I'm sure."
"It's absolutely not. I'm just...wow. Do you always come that much?"
A pause, guilty again as his voice rumbled; "...yes."
You laughed, and his cock twitched in your hand. He chuckled, warm and gravelly, when you pressed a cleaning wipe out through the hole.
"See you soon?" You asked, strangely hopeful.
"Not soon enough." He answered, soft in a way that surprised himself. His voice dropped an octave as a roll of bills pressed through the hole to you. "Here...keep it quiet. They're taking advantage of you."
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You were prepared, the second time your suited stranger visited. Having required an early finish and a shower two nights before, covered with an obscene amount of cum, you blushed to recall that you brought your vibrator to the shower with you, climaxing against the wall to the memory of his velvety voice.
You hoped he couldn't hear the faint buzzing between your legs on your side of the wall. You squirmed, muffling a moan around his cock head as you prepped him, your lips stretched and glossy with pre-cum.
"-h-haaaah, god, you...you're wasted here-- feel so pathetic-- no stamina with...with a mouth like that around me-- o-oohhh...fuck..."
You released him with a wet little pop, feeling your own pleasure building with the insistent buzz against your aching clit. He seemed just as happy to have your hand, and you admired the little neat trail of honey-blond pubes at the base of your fist as he fucked into it.
"Yeah, well...you're wasted too, at that company, by the sounds of it."
"Mmm...feels like what I deserve--"
You cut him off with a tongue to the underside of his cock, his voice fracturing into growled curses and hungry moans again.
"I already told you, if you talk about yourself like that again, I'll make you come faster--"
A breathless, rumbling laugh; "You're a monster."
You whispered, your breath ghosting against his cock head just enough to make him shudder; "Plenty of monsters in this world, beautiful man...but not me."
Your suited man stopped arguing with you, losing himself instead in the way your mouth, hot and suckling and eager, drew him in deeper with every bob of your head. The gasping, husky cry he made when his tip curved round the back of your throat, sent a burst of pleasure through you that had you humping your vibrator involuntarily.
Between his gasps, his vision fizzling with pleasure, you heard him hesitate, his voice barely above a whisper; "What's...that buzzing noise, I-- do you have...back there, are you--"
Barely pulling back, approaching the climax you tried to muffle as you pumped his base with your hand, you moaned, sweet and sinful around his cock head; "B-brought my vibrator...hope you don't mind--"
"Oh-- fuck-- FUCK--"
You squeaked, your orgasm muffled by the cum that flooded your mouth and tongue. As your pleasure threatened to make you convulse, you pushed forwards instead to take the rest of what he offered down your throat, and you lost sight and sound for an indeterminate amount of time, blinded and deafened by thigh-trembling ecstasy.
Swallowing, gasping, and fumbling a hand in your underwear to pull the vibrator off your overstimulated clit, you babbled at him, apologetic.
"S-sorry, hard to--to get guys off sometimes-- without a bit of a hit myself--"
"Fuck, don't talk about other guys when you just came with my cock down your throat."
You giggled, breathless, hearing your suited man pant as he came down from his high. When he removed his cock from the hole, a long, beautifully crafted thumb and forefinger reached hesitantly through instead, and gently pinched your chin.
You pressed a lingering, affectionate kiss to the pad of his thumb as it swiped over your lower lip, and you felt your heart thud to hear such a delighted, satisfied hum from him. He opened the palm of his hand, surreptitious, and your stomach twisted to see an even thicker roll of bills than before.
"...you don't...don't have to--"
"I want to, I...I meant it when I said you're wasted here. They're monsters. Animals."
You took the money with a heavy heart, pressing another kiss to his palm, and leaving your whispers there with it;
"Scarier monsters than them in the world."
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A black dog hunted your suited man, the next time he came to you. You felt it snapping at his heels, and when your stranger approached, it was to sit with his back against your wall, instead. You saw the briefest flash of a thick, corded neck, broad shoulders, a neat blond undercut. He was quiet for a few minutes, before you spoke, soft.
"...hey, you. I missed you last night."
He scoffed as if he didn't believe you, and you reached a hand through, poking him briskly on the shoulder.
"I mean it." Another pause, and you swallowed. "Do you...did you want to...?"
"I...I just want to talk. I'll still pay."
"I'd talk to you for free."
A further silence from him, your warmth a balm for his fractious self-loathing. His next words hung heavy with the weight of the world.
"When will we rest, do you think? When will it end?"
Your eyelids fluttered, looking down in thought. Your fingers stroked over the pad of his suited shoulder. You thought of how you'd been late to your gloryhole, that evening, your usual path blocked by some stop-motion atrocity, an eldritch horror only you could see, and you swallowed hard.
"...I don't know. It doesn't feel like it ever will."
A soft sigh, his voice rich and smoky; "I hesitate to ask what your particular burdens are, to have led you to a pit like this."
You felt tears prickle on your lashes. Taking a deep breath, and tippy-tapping your fingers on his shoulder, you tried to remain upbeat against the rising tide of misery.
"H-hey, it's not all bad. I got to meet you, after all."
"If that's your greatest joy, I pity you."
You winced. Your suited man jumped, when your hand gripped his shoulder with beseeching fervour, his own hand slowly coming up to overlay yours, dwarfing it in his palm. He tensed, unsure. When you spoke it was with the certainty that he needed to understand you.
"Get your tie off, and tie it around your eyes."
He was silent, stunned, his voice brittle as he replied; "...excuse me?"
"Just do it. Blindfold yourself. Then come here."
A moment of hesitation again...then a groan, surely older than he was, as he moved. You heard the silken friction of his tie being undone. You felt the anxious tension radiating off him, and you closed your eyes, eager not to ruin this mystery for yourself.
"Alright...if you insist."
When his voice sounded again, you felt his breath across your lips, inches from each other at the hole in the wall. You raised your hand up, feeling his shudder as your fingertips examined his face as though you were examining a sculpture; and, a sculpture he could have been, with high cheekbones, a thick squared jaw, narrow soft lips. You smiled, your eyes still closed.
"You're too handsome to leave here without a kiss."
Your suited man was silent, but you felt his breath hitch and his heart stutter.
When you finally pressed your lips to his, he moaned with ecstasy, just as he did when you pressed your lips to his erection. Though you took the lead initially, with your lips softly parting his until you could taste him, your permission imbued him with a bravery and confidence he hadn't revealed to you before.
He took charge, and kissed you like a man starved, his evening stubble rasping across your chin, nose against nose. His tongue trailed with a rusty shiver over your lips.
"F-fuck...you taste good...I-- ungh..."
He broke off to you biting his lower lip softly between your teeth, drawing him back in until your lips melded closely enough for you to suckle on the tip of his tongue. He moaned again, desperate and stuttering in his chest. You heard the brush of his palms pressing against the other side of the wall, desperate to cup your face and tilt his kisses down your throat.
Your mingling breaths tasted sweet, so indescribably erotic in its simple intimacy as you pulled away. You fought against the desire to open your eyes, instead biting your own lip, your brow furrowed against your own stupid decision. You whispered, to a sound that was halfway between a laugh and a sob, from your suited man.
"And I'd do that for free, too."
It was the most he had ever paid you, that night, for the simple intimacy of a conversation and a kiss.
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Not a single solitary man visited your gloryhole the next night. You fizzled with worry, as man after man appeared to loiter near you, before choosing someone else; anyone else. It didn't make sense-- even your regulars would be heard mumbling nearby before walking away from you.
You felt a clench of worry; the managers would still pay you, you were sure...but not if it continued.
You felt almost lightheaded with relief and something deeper, when a familiar voice graced your wall near the end of your shift.
"Are you lonely, in there?"
You felt a frisson of joy, and you knelt upright, grinning, your heart fluttering.
"Not anymore."
There was a momentary pause, and you felt the words that your suited stranger wanted to say, stuck, gated by his teeth. Eventually, when he spoke, it was strained, as if fearful of damaging the sprouting intimacy between you both.
"I've...been thinking a lot, recently. About what's fair."
You blinked, unsure, but answered anyway. "Oh?"
"It's not fair that I have to do a worthless job for people I hate, just to earn enough money to retire young. It's not fair that you're here, selling your body to make a living. It's...its not fair that it's only me being pleasured."
You swallowed, heat rushing to your cheeks, feeling him err against what he wanted to say, and he continued.
"I...would like to do something for you. For...for both of us. At the next window."
Oh. The next window. The curtained table, upon which you could lie your lower half, for a man to use the deepest parts of you for his own pleasure. If any other man-- any other man, had asked this if you, you were sure you'd have hated yourself for it. And yet...
"I...I've never done...that."
"I'm...I'm glad, I...I hate myself. For using you, and how other men would use you, and I'd like...to give you better. To treat you as you deserve. God knows, I'd like to tell you to walk away from this shit hole altogether but that's ignorant of me, so I...just for tonight, I--"
"Okay."
You almost clapped your hands over your mouth, your acquiescence so natural that it shocked you. Your suited man seemed surprised, too, and you could almost smell the thudding scent of testosterone from his body as it readied itself for the primal promise of spilling inside your core.
"Yes? You...are you sure?"
"Never been more sure of anything in my life, actually. I...I'll come round."
"Fuck, I...I'll be waiting. Nobody else can-- fuck."
You stood on shaky legs, suddenly self-conscious. Arriving at the table, you took a deep, trembling breath, before starting to strip. You heard heavy, pacing footsteps; more mumbling; a snapped, deep, possessive response.
"This one is mine."
You bit your lip, muffling a laugh at your suited man's immediate dismissal. By the skittish footsteps of the rebuffed other man, your suited stranger was not one that other men would choose to fight. You spoke up, your voice smaller than usual.
"Alright, here...here I come."
Reverent silence hung in the air, as fine as spun gold, when you finished moving your bare lower half down the table. Self-conscious, with your hands pressed over your face in blushing mortification, your thighs and knees remained clamped together.
You heard slow, deliberate footsteps towards your body, as if your suited man had forgotten how to walk. His voice spilled forth, full of sighs.
"Exquisite, I...god, I don't deserve this."
You could have cried for him. Sick of his apparent self loathing, you stretched one foot out until your toes pressed against rock solid abs beneath a pressed, twill shirt. You felt another blush rock your system, not expecting your suited man to be quite so buff.
A large, warm hand grasped your foot, stroking up your arch, your ankle, your calf, and settling with a squeeze behind your knee. When his other hand began to mirror the first, both of your knees now bent and pressed together in his grasp, you heard him whisper as he held you.
"I'll cover you," he promised, ragged with need, "with my body, I...I'll keep you hidden. Keep you safe."
"Thank you."
"Do you trust me?"
"One hundred percent."
A pleased rumble. "Good girl."
Softly, tenderly, two great hands stroked up the sides of your thighs, gliding around your hips with his shuddering groan. Your suited man's hands felt like liquid sex, turning every patch of skin he touched into an erogenous zone.
By the time his thumbs had begun to trace up and down, up and down the V shaped creases of your mound, you squirmed in his grasp, heat pooling in your belly. He chuckled, his thumbs stretching up to massage circles on your lower belly, warming you before he filled you.
"Does that feel good?"
"So good," you whispered, struggling to remain bashful with his obvious adoration.
This warm-palmed massage, from belly, to V, to thighs, to hips, and back again, melted you. Your thighs began to part, your code cracked, without you even noticing. When he settled his hips between your thighs, you moaned involuntarily, and felt his mouth, familiar only to your lips, begin to trail kisses along your ribs, your breasts hidden by a thin black curtain.
He appeared to resist temptation, nipping along the marks left by your bra beneath your breasts. Though outwardly calm, his hands grew ever tighter, shockingly strong and needy on your hips, and you could feel how ragged his breaths were against the soft wet suckling marks left by his mouth.
You had never felt so worshipped, and your suited man seemed determined to know you before he buried himself inside you. The only natural response to those strong hands beginning to creep up the inside of your thighs, was to offer him the treasure he sought, by opening your thighs completely to him.
"Please, can I...make you come on my fingers?"
At this point, you'd have to beg him not to stop if you opened your mouth, and instead locked your thighs around his hips so he couldn't escape. That deep chuckle again, this time against your sternum, and he kissed you in reward.
"Tell me if you want me to stop."
"I won't, I-- o-oooh...my...haaaah..."
His fingers, wet with his spit, had slid between your folds, two of them teasing around your entrance while his thumb circled with blissful ease around your clit.
Utterly unafraid of playing you like an instrument, he massaged your little bud until the noises you made were to his liking. You whimpered to feel the insistent press of his two thick fingers, and his murmured growls, add to the fold.
"Fuck, you're...perfect. Get you ready...or I won't fit...fuck..."
Within seconds, he had found your spongy soft spot, turning your moans guttural, making love to you with his fingers before he took you. Your suited man was certainly no boy, responding to every moan, and every whimper, with the surety needed to take you to orgasm.
Only the tenting press of his cock, harder than ever against your inner thigh, gave away how well he was controlling himself for your sake. Already at the edge, you tumbled into completion when one beautiful, fine boned hand slipped under the curtain to cup your breast, to the tune of his hushed curses.
"Come for me, my love."
As if he hadn't noticed you were already arching, mewling, and fucking yourself down on his fingers, halfway through your peak. He stroked your inner walls as if to comfort you, shushing you, soothing, until your quivering pussy stilled around him. You heard the clink of his belt, your head spinning to remember that the best was still yet to come.
"Beautiful girl...sound so pretty when you come. I...I'll pull out--"
"--don't you dare."
The strangled noise that left him, and the way you felt a spurt of pre-cum spill onto your belly, signalled a farewell to his restraint. You squeaked to feel him bracket two thick, strong arms beneath your thighs, bracing you for the way he was about to take you.
Jolting into place, his cockhead nuzzled between your folds. He appeared to be needing nothing but ragged, shallow thrusts to pleasure himself against your oversensitive clit, his lovely voice speaking as if to himself before notching at your entrance.
"--s-so long, it's been...been so long...worth the wait, for you, though, sh-shit...augh..."
He entered you with one deep, smooth press, shushing you again with a tender grasp, and little shallow rocks to kiss his tip against your cervix. He felt absolutely enormous, squeezing himself into you until every little ridge within you shaped to him, hot and wet. You babbled, your words shooting through him like knives.
"--oh m-my god you feel so good so so good so big-- barely fits, o-ooohh--"
When you gasped with the sudden fullness, one of your hands flew down past the curtain to hold your lower belly, and something in your suited man snapped. He laid one hand over yours, pressing it down hard on your belly, before cursing a half-hearted apology, and taking you with the desperation of a man possessed.
Three strokes, deeper, and deeper, and deeper, sent him roaring into a frenetic pace. Your hand clasping your lower belly had sent him spiralling. If his other hand hadn't held your hip so tightly, you'd have been fucked up the table.
And despite the mind-numbing force of his thrusts, you still, with every scrap of you, knew that he was making love to you, and not just fucking you. It made no difference, in the end, your voice growing in volume until it was nothing more than whimpered, mewling cries, only wishing you could have a name upon your tongue instead.
Stilted with the force of his thrusts, he blessed you with it.
"Say...say my name..."
"I will I will just give it to me gimme your name--"
"Kento--"
"--o-ooohh, f-fuck, Kento, harder--"
The cry that left his chest was visceral, animalistic, wrenched out of him with the same sudden finality as his orgasm. You felt him fold over you, his hands gripping your ribcage, his cock jolting and twitching within you as the heavy, obscenely long ejaculation that you knew so well, filled your pussy instead of your mouth.
"--unh...unh...haah...aaa-aahhh never...never gonna come like that-- e-ever again...that was it, that was the...the one that'll end me-- fuck...darling..."
Your suited man's bucks grew lazy, his torso almost completely blanketing yours, humping away the last vestiges of his orgasm. He stayed nestled within you, unwilling to let you go yet. You reached through the curtain, stroking a hand through his hair, and hearing him purr.
"...Kento, huh?"
He huffed a laugh. "Sorry, I...was that too intimate?"
"That? You're worried that was the intimate part?"
He laughed, rich and deep and genuine, kissing your ribs once more. You heard him reach into his pocket, and you spoke up, immediate.
"I won't let you pay me for that--"
"--I absolutely fucking am--"
"--no you are not--"
After he won the argument, and left with heavy reluctance, your manager pulled you aside with a dirty grin.
"You were popular tonight. How many men? Ten? Twelve?"
You blinked, confused.
"Just...just the one. Right at the end."
Your manager shook his head, turning back to the TV in his grubby little office, his fingers orange with Cheeto dust. Your brain ticked, and whirred...all the mumbling outside your gloryhole. All the murmurs, men almost visiting before moving on...and it clicked with absolute certainty.
Your suited man had guarded your gloryhole all night, paying other men to choose another woman. To choose anyone but you.
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"I worried you wouldn't be here."
You swallowed, sniffling, and settling behind your wall. More terrible monsters had settled around the building, blocking almost every pathway in, and you knew that you'd have abandoned your shift and run home to hide, if not for the hope of hearing your suited man again.
"You're...crying, my love, why are you crying?"
You felt him stiffen against the other side of the wall, at the sound of your sniffle, and his hand automatically reached through to cup your face, his thumb swiping away your tears. You turned your cheek into his palm, holding his hand against you.
Your gaze turned to the doorway...and to the bug-eyed, many-armed, puce coloured spindly monster leaning around it to stare at you.
You shrieked, crashing against your wall in terror. Your suited man took in a sharp breath, and the normal chatter and movement of the room quieted at your cry. Your suited stranger grasped your hand hard to hold you still, and his voice dropped to a horrified whisper.
"Stop-- oh, fuck, I understand-- your monsters-- can you see that? That thing in the doorway?"
Time slowed. Your jaw dropped. Your voice was thick, quiet, your insanity validated for the first time in your life.
"Kento, you...see it too?"
"Oh fuck. This...this is why you're in this place? Never been able to hold down a job, no? You've never felt safe anywhere?"
You could do nothing but weep into his palm, nodding, and nodding, and nodding. His voice rang, deep and commanding and final.
"I've got you. I...I've got you. You're safe. Just come with me."
"Kento, I can't just walk out--"
"You can. You don't need money. I've got enough. You just need...you just need me. I'll...I'll tell you everything. I'll explain everything."
When your face, tearstained and sniffling, leaned around the edge of your wall, you froze. Kento froze.
The silence was thick with wonderment, already in love before you had even seen each others' faces. But now that you saw him (obscenely handsome, tall, kind-eyed and exhausted), already overwhelmed, a sob bubbled over--
"Oh, god, you're so out of my league--"
A scoff, and adoration burning in his tired, under-shadowed eyes. He held out one hand, rescuing you as you'd rescued him.
"Come. I have some calls to make. You can tell me your name over dinner."
Your feet were numb as Kento walked you past the monster, shielding your fearful gaze with his hand. You ignored the shouts of your managers, half-deaf and stunned. In the chill evening air, his arm that was not around you, reached into his pocket, tapping, before holding a phone to his ear.
"Gojo, it's Nanami...why are you laughing?"
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good fucking god im so anxious
#RANT TIME !#anyway t*rf in the year above me at uni is no longer in the year above me bc they failed a year ! and now theyre joining my class next week!#and im so anxious i feel slightly ill about it. thing is like. shes very outspoken ive read her twitter before + have today read a lot more#bc im bad at protecting my brain lmao#and like. shes not a quiet person she tweets a Lot and ik she caused some issues in her prev class w arguments etc#and i am just anxious i Love my class i really dont wanna start feeling uncomfy in every class bc someone is passive aggressive or acc#argumentative or whatever#and ik ill be backed up by my class#and i spoke to my lecturers abt it + they were so nice + will def back me up but i dont WANNA be backed up i wanna feel safe in my class#and i dont really think i will and im just beinh dramatic#but i hate that feeling of being in front of someone u know is nitpicking ur existence#like can i really openly have sh scars in a class w someone who keeps talking about how trans men are depressed women#its just. agh. aghhh i hate it im stressed ik i have all the support but its just shitty and im anxious !!#and i gotta just. stop hatereading#and chill#but agh !
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