#sexetc

[sexetc]

Honest and open communication is an important part of healthy dating ❤️

[propshophannah]

When should you start going to the gynecologist? No one ever told us in high school about it. The first time you go, what will happen? Is it like a normal check up?

“The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends that teenage girls start seeing a gynecologist between the ages of 13 and 15,” (girlshealth.gov). It’s also recommended that you get a pelvic exam by the time you are 21 years old—regardless of whether or not you’ve only has same sex partners (sexetc.org).

SIDE NOTE: If you don’t go when you’re 13-15, then you should go if any of the following apply (or have applied) to you:

You’re sexually active! Meaning you’ve had vaginal, oral, or anal sex. Or any kind of intimate sexual contact.

Sexual contact: “Any type of touching during sexual activity between two people, including sexual intercourse, oral sex, and skin-to-skin contact in the genital area (around the vagina, penis, scrotum, anus, and thigh). Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) such as genital herpes, HPV (warts), and syphilis can be passed by having sexual contact with areas that are not covered by a condom.”

You haven’t gotten your period in three or more months.

You have stomach pain, fever, and fluid coming from your vagina that is yellow, gray, or green with a strong smell — all of which are possible signs of a serious condition called pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) that needs immediate treatment.

You’re having problems with your period, like a lot of pain, bleeding heavily, or bleeding for longer than usual, or it has stopped coming regularly.

You have not gotten your period by the age of 15 or within three years of when your breasts started to grow.

You’ve had your period for two years and it’s still not regular or comes more than once a month.

You are having sex and missed your period.

(All the above info came from girlshealth.gov. And yeah, sexetc.org is way better, but I couldn’t find this info laid out as eloquently there.)

Basically you start going in high school. Some girls go before then because they want to get on birth control, which has many benefits that don’t include preventing pregnancy (see this post for a little bit more on that).

If you’re sexually active, then you need to start going. They’ll check to make sure everything is working right and healthy. They’ll check for STDs/STIs, they’ll ask if you’d like to be tested for STDs/STIs, they’ll look for lumps in your breasts, make sure your uterus and ovaries are good…

And I’ve always had gyno’s ask about my mental health. It’s actually really nice. They do a lot in one visit.

What to expect!

[The following is from my own personal experience. If you want a more logistical take on this, check out this article from sexetc.org.]

The first time you go, (after you’ve filled out all your forms and they’ve taken your height/weight/blood pressure etc.), a gyno will take you into their office and chat with you about why you’re there.

They’ll ask if you want birth control, or if you like the birth control you’re on. They’ll ask about family history, about your sexual history (if you’re sexually active/if you plan to become sexually active). They might ask if you think you have an STD/STI, or if your partner does. They might ask if your partner has been tested before, or how long you’ve been with your partner. They might ask a series of questions about your partner to make sure you’re not being abused. They’ll make sure you’re up to date on your shots, and if you’d like to get the HPV vaccination (SAY YES!). They’ll ask if you have any questions. If you’ve never had sex, then they might explain about hymens and how that could affect the exam.

Then, if they haven’t already, they’ll probably make you pee in a cup to test it for routine things. Then they’ll take you into an exam room and tell you to remove all of your clothing. They’ll give you a vest-thingy made of thick tissue-paper to cover your chest/torso, and a thick tissue-paper blanket-thingy to cover you below the waist. They’ll tell you that when you’re done, to have a seat on the examination table. They’ll leave. You’ll follow directions and panic the whole time that someone is going to walk into the room before you’re covered/on the exam table. LOL. I do it every time.

Your gynecologist will come back into the room accompanied by a female nurse. “A female nurse will be present in the room during the exam regardless of the sex of the health care provider who is performing your exam,” (sexetc.org). A good gyno will talk to you before they begin, find something to discuss/make sure you’re comfortable.

And yes this is the part where I start to ramble and ask is she’s seen any interesting genital-area tattoos lately and where exactly they were located. (Best response I ever got was a licking tongue tattoo on the inner thigh that was captioned: “lick it” LOL.)

Then they’ll ask you to lay back and put your feet in these metal stirrup things. She’ll likely ask you to scoot down because they’ll want your genital area as close to the end of the table as possible, and you’ll likely be as far away from the end of the table as humanly possible because you’re uncomfortable.

Once you’re in the right spot, they’ll move the tissue-paper blanket up past your knees so they, the gyno, can see your vulva and the opening of your vagina. If they see something odd they will ask you about it and might look around in your labia to make sure everything is okay. Then they’ll begin the pelvic exam.

Pause here. The following may not happen at your visit. I first went when I was 18, and I got a full pelvic exam and pap smear. But depending on age, or if you are/aren’t sexually active, they may not do this next part.

Your gynecologist will insert an instrument called a speculum into your vagina. (If you’re lucky, the practice you go to has a warming drawer so the speculum isn’t cold.) They’ll slather it with enough lubrication that you won’t have any pain when they insert it.

Pause here. If you have an intact hymen in one of the less commonly shaped ones, you might have pain. But rest assured, your gyno will have/should have already noticed this and talked to you about it. They will likely help you work through any pain you may have, and may help you stretch your hymen skin right then and there in the office. But (as I learned the other day) not all hymen skin is the same. Some people (who I really feel for) have thicker hymen skin that does not go away, or stretch out similarly to most people’s vaginas.

THEREFORE there is a chance that your gyno might ask you to go home and stretch it on your own (because it might take more time everyone is different). Then you’ll just make a follow up appointment. But that’s rare. And by the time you get to high school, if you have one of the several types of hymen that cover a significant amount of your vaginal opening—then you’re aware of it and have hopefully already been to a gyno about it.

If not, don’t worry. Your first gyno visit is a perfect opportunity to have this conversation with your gynecologist. And if you have hymen skin that covers too much of your vaginal opening, or it’s painful, or it’s impinging on your quality of life—you can have it removed. It’s called a hymenectomy. And it happens (see this hilarious article for one woman’s story). You can usually have it done in office with anesthesia or you can schedule an appointment and be completely sedated.  

So! The speculum goes into your vagina. Your gyno will open it (this can feel like a lot of pressure it’s not terrible though). They they’ll look at the inside of your vagina, your cervix, and your uterus to make sure everything is good.

If you need a pap smear, then they’ll take (what is essentially) a long, thin, flexible plastic stick with a fizzy end (which I believe is called a cytobrush), and/or a spatula (that looks similar in that its long, thin and reasonably flexible) and scrape each on different parts of your cervix to get cell samples.

This is the most uncomfortable part. I’m not sure which one happens first. But that first one they scrape usually feels like nothing. To me at least. But the second one they scrape with always makes me feel like I’ve run my nails down a chalkboard. Something about feeling a part of yourself you’re not used to actively feeling—that’s in the this weird middle place in your body—grosses me out. But it lasts a fraction of a second. And then it’s over.

Your gyno will hand those to scraping devices to the nurse, and the nurse will drop them into various cups of liquid to test them for various things. The doctor will remove the speculum and then stand. She’ll insert two fingers into your vagina and feel around for any lumps or abnormalities. At one point they’ll push up with those fingers while at the same time she will use her other hand to press down on your abdomen. They’ll do this on both sides (left and right) to check your uterus and ovaries.

Then I’m pretty sure that’s in on vagina stuff…

Then they’ll remove their hands and gloves. The gynecologist will cover your legs and let you put your feet down. They’ll push around the paper vest over your stomach and chest to continue checking your stomach for lumps and stuff. Then they’ll open the front of the paper vest thing and give you a breast exam. That’s basically them using their fingertips to gently press against your breasts. They’ll touch your whole breast too, even the nipple. Then the gyno will move out to your armpits to check for lumps. They’ll cover you back up when they’re done and tell you to sit up. You might chat for a few more minutes, then they’ll leave with the nurse. The gyno might ask you to meet them in their office before you leave to chat, or they might have the nurse give you your exit papers then.

They’ll leave the room. You’ll wait until the door is safely shit before jumping up and practically running for your bra and underwear. You’ll probably have to wipe the lube the doctor used on the speculum off your genitals. They usually leave a box of tissues out for you.

And that’s it.

You’ll get your prescription (if you have any), you’ll pay your copay, and you’ll walk out the front door still able to feel a stranger’s hands on your breasts and in your vagina… but it’s better than having cancer.

[have-a-cup-of-stfu]

@isa-dragon @more-than-a-walking-vagina @wittingaccomplice @sexetc @smelly-c-a-t @sunflowersongbird @ziextensi-blog @20akchilles17 @animejanaii-blog @courtneyisfancy-blog @my-shark-posts @lokisqueen96 @zeekayart @ineedtheirmusic @vvioletlly @paulilla971-blog @officiallyamazingkelly @im-with-the-idjits @afhverju-er-ekkert-laust @goodnsheet-blog1 @baphometal @thirteen-cr0ws @plantain-emoji @number7isgreen @bisexual-pandabear-blog @spy-ninja7-blog-blog @nabtime @xxjust-a-broken-boyxx @pick-a-lane-with-me @taurus-sun-sag-moon 

Ray-Ban Sunglasses

[vivacioussalmon]

major life update:

since 2016:

i got a job (several) including one that let me work w dinosaurs

i’m in college (okay it’s called university but whatever)

i met someone who i have been with for almost two years (it’ll be two years next week)

i’m studying journalism (worked at @sexetc and met a bunch of amazing peeps) and i have been published a few times

i won a literal award for reading over 300 books at school

i dyed my hair red, then blue, and now it won’t go back to normal so it’s the color of algae

i became a fish mom to 6 goldfish, 3 snails, and 2 bettas and literally campaigned my school to make a better fish policy

i taught myself how to knit and my goal is to make as many blankets as i can

i did drag!!! my drag king name was sk*nk sinatra and i was so happy and i met so many cool drag queens

i came out as pansexual to my friends

i shaved the side of my head lmao

i learned how to play the piano and the oboe

i got my own radio show

[redbeardace]

Big Name Recognition of Asexual Awareness Week

GLSEN: https://twitter.com/GLSEN/status/1055081729722105862

Manchester Pride: https://twitter.com/ManchesterPride/status/1055111776403099649

Trevor Project: https://twitter.com/TrevorProject/status/1055206044782288896

Sex, etc: https://twitter.com/Sexetc/status/1055547039713558528

The Kinsey Institute: https://twitter.com/kinseyinstitute/status/1054423267023482880

Bitch Media: https://twitter.com/BitchMedia/status/1055202511974481921

NYC Pride: https://twitter.com/NYCPride/status/1055105916582981632

Gay Star News: https://twitter.com/gaystarnews/status/1055448894543458304

Galop: https://twitter.com/GalopUK/status/1055036174530531328

Huffington Post: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/opinion-asexual-people-doctors_us_5bcccfd6e4b0d38b58796672?ide

The Daily Dot: https://twitter.com/dailydot/status/1055429768428974080

UCLA: https://twitter.com/UCLALGBT/status/1055142301809459206

Reblog with any that I missed!

[whoneedssexed]

Hey! This blog it's amazing, thank you all! Do you know a blog similar to this one?

I’m not as active in the political parts of Tumblr as I used to be, and as far as ones that also accept asks like we do, it can be hard to find them.

Here’s some I do remember:

@tmitransitioning​

@themixedfeminist​

@fuckyeahsexeducation

@arabsexed

@plannedparenthood​

@education-before-copulation

@masakhane

@hellyeahscarleteen

@sexetc

@theroguefeminist​

@felalalieisafeminist​

@uncutting

@ppaction

@themidwifeisin

@fuckyeahasexual

@autostraddle

People are free to link more! (And if you don’t want yours linked here, please let me know!)

- mod BP

[propshophannah]

Sorry if I sound kinda uneducated but I just saw the post about gynecologists and I wanted to ask what exactly happens when you go to one(like what exactly is a Pap smear, etc.) Also is there a specific age to go to one? Thank you so much. Just know that you have taught me more than any sex Ed program I have been shown.

Hi! And thanks! I’m glad I can help. 

So at the beginning of this post, I mention the right age in which to see an ob-gyn (13-15), and I also go into detail of what actually happens when you go.

Keep in mind that the post is my perspective, and because I have a family history of cancer, and I wanted to get on birth control, and I was sexually active. So I got (and get) the full exam when I went/when I go. If you are not sexually active, have no family history of cancer/issues with female reproductive organs then your visit will likely be different. (Also, all the websites I link/get info from are legit and reputable. I’m not getting info from sites that aren’t run by legitimate organizations that cannot be verified, or are not ethically allowed to speak about women’s reproductive health.)

“An obstetrician–gynecologist (ob-gyn) is a doctor who specializes in the health care of women. Girls should have their first gynecologic visit between the ages of 13 years and 15 years.” (acog.org)

So if you’re in that age range, or older and you haven’t yet gone, you need to go. They’re just going to make sure you’re healthy. Your first visit may just be talking with the doctor.

They may also give you a breast exam, or a pelvic exam (to make sure your ovaries and uterus are in the right spots/not lumpy/healthy etc. and maybe a pap smear.

They will also ask you about your relationships. They’ll want to know your sexual orientation and if you need information or help on safe sex. They will absolutely ask about your periods. They’ll want to make sure they’re normal, and if you can manage them, or if you need help managing them. If you have a heavy flow, or a too light flow, or if your periods are very painful, or of they’re inconsistent, or if you spot bleed in between cycles, or if you skip cycles—all of that they need to know and they can help you with.

They’ll ask about your mental health. They want to know if you’re depressed, or anxious, or if you’re being abused. They want to know how you feel about yourself—do you have a positive or negative self image? Do you struggle with being overweight, underweight, or maybe you have acne and it makes you embarrassed or it’s just annoying and everywhere.

ALL OF THOSE THINGS, the ob-gyn (sometimes it’s a nurse practitioner too btw) will help you with. Birth control can with things like acne and various period symptoms. The ob-gyn can also prescribe other medications to help you in other ways, and look at the ones you’re already on and say, “this medication can increase your chances of depression or anxiety,” or “this medication will make intercourse more painful,” and they will help you and give you instructions on next steps for how to get your medications to work for you better. They are there to help you.

SIDE NOTE: I’m starting to realize, that you should ask about your hymen skin. Ask your ob-gyn what shape it is. I’ve recently been on the hunt for actual, peer-reviewed medical studies of common and uncommon hymen shapes. And while there seems to be a lack of information on that topic (I’m not surprised no one wants to fund research on vaginas. #UghThePatriarchy), I’ve also been reading through a lot of forums where women think they have “an extra flap of skin” in their vaginas. And many of them say that their ob-gyn has never mentioned it.

These women don’t realize that they likely have a septate hymen. It’s where there is a piece of skin running across the vaginal opening. That kind of hymen might be to common to ob-gyns, that they don’t think to mention it. So I think you should ask about your hymen skin. Because if you have one that is thicker or that is shaped in such a way that it is painful (some people can’t finger themselves or use tampons) or could become painful—you have options for how to stretch it out, or you can get a hymenectomy (see this post for more info on hymenectomy).

And also, if you can prevent painful intercourse, why would you not? I’m realizing, some hymen skin is a LOT thicker than others. We’re taught that it usually kinda stretches out on its own or even breaks and goes away by the teenage years. And we’re also taught that what’s left can make sex hurt. But I’m finding that if it’s thicker, or shaped in a way that makes it more covering that it will break painfully and can heal back. I think we should all be aware of the options we have to prevent painful sex and/or to improve our quality of life with our vagina.

The following is cut and paste verbatim from the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (acog.org):

What should I expect at the first gynecologic visit?

The first visit may be just a talk between you and your doctor. You can find out what to expect at future visits and get information about how to stay healthy. You also may have certain exams.

Your doctor may ask a lot of questions about you and your family. Some of them may seem personal, such as questions about your menstrual period or sexual activities (including vaginal, oral, or anal sex). If you are concerned about confidentiality, you and your doctor should talk about it before you answer any questions. Much of the information you share can be kept confidential.

What exams are performed?

You may have certain exams at the first visit. If you choose, a nurse or family member may join you for any part of the exam. Most often, these exams are performed:

General physical exam

External genital exam

You usually do not need to have a pelvic exam at the first visit unless you are having problems, such as abnormal bleeding or pain. If you are sexually active, you may have tests for certain sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Most of the tests that teens need can be done by the doctor with a urine sample. You also may have certain vaccinations.

What happens during a general physical exam?

During the general exam, your height, weight, and blood pressure will be checked. You also will be examined for any health problems you may have.

What happens during an external genital exam?

In this exam, the doctor looks at the vulva. He or she may give you a mirror so that you can look at the vulva as well. This exam is a good way to learn about your body and the names for each part.

What are the pelvic exam and Pap test?

Even though you probably will not have a pelvic exam, you should know what one is. Another test that you will have later (at age 21 years) is a Pap test. This test checks for abnormal changes in the cervix that could lead to cancer.

The pelvic exam has three parts:

1. Looking at the vulva

2. Looking at the vagina and cervix with a speculum

3. Checking the internal organs with a gloved hand

(Click here to see the picture the ACOG provides with this info!)

The doctor will use a speculum to look at your vagina and cervix. When you have a Pap test, a sample of cells is taken from your cervix with a small brush.

To check your internal organs, the doctor will place one or two gloved, lubricated fingers into the vagina and up to the cervix. The other hand will press on the abdomen from the outside.

——

And that’s all I got! I hope this helps! Let me know. And check out the ACOG website or sexetc.org. They’re great resources.

[arabsexed]

Blogs similar to urs?

Haven’t stumbled upon any arabic sex ed blogs, but here are a few others

@whoneedssexed @lacigreen @sexetc @sexedplus @sexeducationforprudes @sextedmtl

[msangeliqueluna]

Sexetc: We spoke to teen parents about their experiences. More support, less shame! #NoTeenShame Read and share. http://bit.ly/2ozVIUZ

Sexetc: We spoke to teen parents about their experiences. More support, less shame! #NoTeenShame Read and share. http://bit.ly/2ozVIUZ

— Angelique Luna (@MsAngeliqueLuna) April 11, 2017

from Twitter https://twitter.com/MsAngeliqueLuna April 11, 2017 at 09:02AM via IFTTT

[comeasyouareco]

Omg, yes. ⠀ ⠀ Reposting @yxesexualhealth:⠀ ...⠀ "What scary and incorrect things did your sex ed teacher tell you? 😂😱⠀⠀ *⠀⠀ We have drop in clinic hours from 1-4PM today! ⠀⠀ *⠀⠀ #sexhealth #sexualeducation #sexeducation #sexed #sexeducator #sexeducators #sexpositive #sexpositivity #sexualhealth ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ repost from @sexetc"

[sexedresource-blog]

This is a gateway to a comprehensive website offering access to magazines, websites and forums with contributions from teens and young people. A variety of topics can be explored, with added emphasis exploring sexuality and normalizing sex related discussions for all genders and identities. 

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

Resources Masterpost 2.0

I made one of these a while back, but all the links broke while I was editing it, so fuck it, here’s a brand new post. 

This post is a list of helpful blogs and an index of my own tags for the people who’ve sent me messages that I haven’t been able to answer because of my illness, those who aren’t sure how to ask, and those who didn’t know they needed to ask in the first place. 

PS: This post is linked under the ‘help’ button on my blog.

Asexuality and aromanticism

@ace-and-aro-support-group

@actuallyasexual

@a-positive

@aroadventures

@aroacepositivityplace

@asexualsafetag

@a-spec-tacular

@fuckyeahasexual

@resourcesforacesurvivors

@theasexualityblog

@asexuality-and-aphobia (my discourse blog)

theasexualityblog’s resources page

ace positivity

aro positivity

aphobia

aromanticism

asexuality

asexuality resources

attraction

aphobia masterpost

Gender

@afab-advice-help

@lifeoutsidethebinary

@mytranshealth

@nb-aceceptance

@nonbinaryresource

@transboysunited

@transfeminformative

@transgenderadvice

@transgenderteensurvivalguide

@trans-matters

binding

coming out

dysphoria

gender

nonbinary

trans issues

trans men

trans women

trans resources

The Librarian’s Gender Masterpost

Everything else LGBTQIA

@goodpositivitylgbt

@itgetsbetterproject

@lgbt-advice-page

@letters-to-lgbt-kids

@outforhealth

bisexuality

coming out

intersex

lgbtq

orientation

orientation masterpost

sexuality and gender masterpost

The Librarian’s Sexuality Masterpost

Life

@howtogrowthefuckup

@howtoimpersonateanadult

@lowspoonsfood

@plannedparenthood

@realsocialskills

@sexetc

​@task-breakdown

@themidwifeisin

@whoneedssexed

adulting

consent

eating

health

how to help

important

life advice

reference

relationships

school

sex

sex ed

sleep

Chronic illness, disability, and neurodiversity

@actuallyadhd

@autisticadvocacy

@autism-asks

@autisticliving

@chronicillnesshelp

@chronicillnessproblems

@neurowonderful

@queerautism

@spooniestrong

@thespoontheory

@youngchronicpain

autism-asks’ resources page

ADHD

autism

autism traits

chronic illness

chronic pain

disability

stimming

Abuse and trauma

@abuseresources

@abusetroubles

@advicefromsurvivors

@all-about-abuse

@complexptsd

@emotionalabuseawareness

@emotionalabusesurvivors

@healing-phoenix

@letstalkaboutrape

@livingwithcptsd

@loveisrespect

@oftoxicparents

@posttraumaticstresssurvivors

@ptsdrecoverygroup

@sexual-abuse-survivor-support

@speakingofabuse

@support-for-survivors

@undothedamage

abuse

abuse support

abuse tactics

abuse tips

C-PTSD

child abuse

child sexual abuse

child-on-child sexual abuse

consent

domestic abuse

emotional abuse

escaping abuse

friendship abuse

gaslighting

parental abuse

PTSD

rape

trauma

triggers

Mental illness

@borderlinebravery

@butterfly-project

@clinicallydepressedpug

@dbtskills

@depressionresource

@dissociationdays

@everythingeatingdisordered

@fyoured

@imalivecrisischat

@mentalhealthexperiences

@mentalillnessmouse

@notdefinedbyed

@shitborderlinesdo

@stuff-i-got-in-therapy

@thedissociationnation

@therapy101

@tswatch

addiction

anxiety

bipolar disorder

BPD

depression

dissociation

eating disorder

executive dysfunction

hotlines

intrusive thoughts

medication

mental illness

OCD

panic attack

psychosis

self harm

suicide

therapy

trauma

Positivity and self care

@anti-self-hate

@chooserecovery

@cwote

@goodstuffhappenedtoday

@internal-acceptance-movement

@killyouranxiety

@onlinecounsellingcollege

@positiveautistic

@positivedoodles

@positivityinrecovery

@princess-of-positivity​

@self-care-club

@selfcarepropaganda

@selfcarereminders

@self-care-strategies​

@selfcaretips

@sheisrecovering

@slightlyaggressiveaffirmations

bodyposipanda.com

body image

breathing

coping skills

DBT

distractions

recovery

relapse

reminders

self care

masterposts: 1, 2, 3, 4

Social issues

@bigfatscience

@fatphobiabusters

@fightingmisogynoir

@fuckingrapeculture

@intersectionalfeminism101

@profeminist

@thatdiabolicalfeminist

@thisiseverydayracism

@worldfeminism

Christianity

Islam

Judaism

ableism

feminism

politics

racism

rape culture

take action

[sexetc]

You could be dating a person of any gender, doesn't mean that you were confused or that bisexuality doesn't exist. These beliefs about bisexuality reject bisexuality, promote bi-invisibility (or this idea that bisexual people just don’t exist) and assume that bisexual people are indecisive.⠀

[sexetc]

This usually happens when one person has a sore on or around the mouth and then kisses another person. It can also happen during a select number of days throughout the year when the virus is more active in a person’s body and when they may have no symptoms at all.

[sexetc]

When used perfectly, the Patch is more than 99-percent effective at preventing pregnancy. The Patch does not protect against sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), so a backup method, such as condoms, should be used.

Like the Pill, there can be side effects associated with the Patch. Most people will have lighter, more regular bleeding and less cramping. Some people will experience some skin irritation where the Patch is applied. They might also experience nausea, breast tenderness or headaches. And the Patch might not be effective for people who weigh more than 198 pounds.

The Patch is ideal for someone who wants regular bleeding each month, have heavy or long periods, bad cramps or for someone who will find it easier to remember to change patches every week than take a pill every day. It is not ideal for someone who doesn’t want the patch to be noticed by others.

The Patch requires a prescription, just like any other hormonal method of birth control. The cost of the Patch varies, depending on where the prescription is filled. Usually family planning clinics, like Planned Parenthood, are less expensive than a private doctor’s office. Insurance may also cover the cost.