#sex discourse

[timetobeaghost]

seeing as your controversial byler #1, what are your thoughts on all the spicy byler stuff happening in the tag?

LMAO Thanks for the compliment!

I'm disgustingly moderate about this, or even indecisive.

What definitely pisse me off is people attacking because of something like hose gate. Deal with a goddamned hose being turned on! Sexual attraction is not wrong and you can not honestly portray teenagers without portraying sexual attraction. Nothing about this is bad.

On the other hand I do have problems with the pornification of society and smut fic is the nerdy girl's (and sometimes boy's) version of this. While not as bad as real porn, it is probably part of a bad thing with also being available 24/7, addictive and capable of taking over real life and being a replacement for a normal sexuality, especially for young people the development of a healthy sexuality.

So maybe a space without nsfw stuff would not be that bad? When I first realized how frankly prude the Byler tag on Tumblr was, compared to most of my fandom experience, I was a little bit pleased.

I do vote in most spicy polls tho and am personally unbothered. And making a cardinal sin out of "pro shipping" is so weird. Making everything into a bloody witch hunt is another huge problem of the internet era. Of course this new puritanism might be an equally not pretty reaction to the pornification. The golden middle absent again, like in all topics on the internet.

One more thing to this discourse: No, Byler should not have a sex scene in S5! What people argue a sex scene would accomplish you can do all that with kissing! Kissing (with tongue) is also a sexual act and expressing sexuality. If Byler are passionately kissing, they are "all happy and gay" it would not add anything for this storyline and show if "more" was implied or depicted.

Thank you for asking!

[thetransomen]

also, possibly related medical stuff:

i got a UTI that was diagnosed a few days ago (my urethra sucks and is super prone to infection for some reason. hence me redirecting people to my backdoor more often). and at the appointment, my pulse was super low. like sleeping/dead low, 52 bpm.

now i don't work out, i just take various weed compounds that i know reduce my blood pressure and can occassionally make me dizzy (on top of just unbelievably reducing my anxiety. so i'll take it). but i doubt they're the thing making my pulse so low. at least not them alone, anyway.

so i've been thinking about it, and all i can think is, like the doctor said, i must be really relaxed lately. gee, i wonder why. maybe it's bc i've been giving my ego some much-needed attention, what with all the eroticism i've been experiencing, worshipping Cock, which has restored a lot of trust in myself and in others.

we're all just a bunch of lonely losers out there, why not worship each other and fuck the pain away?

[irenespring]

Today I would like to shout out that one random Twitter person who made up that JD Vance bragged about fucking a couch.

Imagine making a random shitpost and less than two months later your joke is being used by a major party nominee for Vice President on live television at his introduction rally, earning him thunderous applause.

That poster must be having quite the experience.

[renthony]

It's real fucked up how many queer people dread Pride season due to both systemic queerphobia and queer infighting. Pride season always rockets up my anxiety, and I know I'm not the only one.

This shit sucks, y'all. We gotta support each other more than the queerphobes hate us. I'm not saying we have to love each other, I'm not saying we even have to like each other, but we cannot keep subdividing communities, circulating callouts, and dogpiling each other over who has it worse. That shit will kill us all.

We cannot keep thinking of our individual experiences with bigotry as, "I know [xyz kind of queer] has it worse, but...", and we cannot keep looking at other experiences with bigotry as, "that's bad, but [abc kind of queer] still has it worse," when the reality is that we are all being targeted. It's all bad! It all deserves to be talked about and fought against without trying to put it in some kind of hierarchy! Hierarchies are not fucking helpful here!

Some fucking unity, please.

[theangryman]

One person was banned almost immediately.

The other person was not banned until they made another post revealing that they were posting videos of their partner.

One person was harassed and bullied and told that they were lying.

One person was given advice, told about how they could improve their situation.

This is why kink is not safe. There is more compassion and kindness for someone who admits to wanting to kick their partner in the face than there is for someone who has received that treatment.

[lastoneout]

> them: our community is trans inclusive

> me: is it actually trans inclusive or is it just adhering to the gender binary but with trans people forced into the same ridged expectations and assumed positions of power or vulnerablility that cis people are?

> them: what do you mean

> me: *pulls out a chart explaining how gender essentialism is inherently harmful even if you count trans men and women as men and women because the very concepts of man and woman under this framework are so restrictive and reductive that they can not account for the diverse and complex intersectional experiences of trans men/women(or even marginalized cis people) and will also never be able to make a space safe for intersex, nonbinary, and multigender people*

> them: haha it's trans inclusive ma'am- I mean they

> I look inside

> it's ridged adherence to the gender binary

[gorgeousgreymatter-x]

I'm not a furry and I am indifferently supportive of furries doing their thing or whatever but the funniest thing about so many of those chronically online little gen z sex puritans is the fact that if those furries didn't exist or disappeared, none of you little shits would ever get to use the internet again because our tech industry would crumble lmao

[tevanbuckley]

yeah no, I can’t think of any reason queer people would enjoy the *checks notes* sweet and well written canon queer relationship, one half of which is a character whose been bi-coded for 5+ years. yeah must be a fetish thing you’re absolutely right, there’s zero other plausible explanations.

[talesfromthecrypts]

Vanessa Redgrave and Oliver Reed in The Devils (1971)

[pjharvey-moved]

if you are having sex with someone you know for a fact doesn’t enjoy or want it and doesn’t experience sexual attraction to you you legitimately should burn in hell. i don’t believe in hell but they should invent it so u can burn in it

[thetransomen]

is this my first post? idc. i can't talk about this on my other blogs for personal reasons.

i'm mostly plannng on using this blog as a meta-discussion of sex- and kink-related topics, no erotic fiction or pictures to be found here. these are all my private opinions, no persona or alterego taking over here.

i won't link them but i have a main blog and a porn blog (among others), and i like a lot of fucked up shit.

~

now that that's out of the way, FUCK i had sex - and i mean some hard fucking last night, with another human being for the first time in over a year. and motherfucker! that was a workout. i literally ache all over. my hamstrings are killing me the most. i even felt like passing out at one point.

Some background info - yeah i don't work out at all lately, unless you count going up and down stairs a few times a day. Oh and getting fucked over by life, but well. Isn't that us all?

this guy was really in shape and wanted to try every position possible. and he didn't even make me cum (yeah i came on my own later, plus i got off on the fact that he fucked my ass raw). like he was a nice enough guy and all but. like too vanilla for anyone in the realm of a possible relationship.

i have a feeling he's autistic like me - he kept on going on and on about norse mythology and culture. this was after a series of texts where he seemed hellbent on getting me over to fuck me. i straight up asked if he was horny and he said yes. then when i got there we watched a movie for like an hour while he info-dumped on me. which, i'd get it, if this was a social call. but like, you wanted to hook up and now you want to spend an hour on exposition? bro i'm here to be your cumdumpster, not infodumpster. if you wanna infodump on me while we're fucking that's cool, but i WANT your CUM inside me. first and foremost. Ugh.

Anyway, yeah, besides the acrobatics i did during sex and me asking him to piss on me in the shower (he said he didn't have to go. lame.), it was largely very vanilla. oh and he fucked my ass bc i asked him to. but like. i want to be DOMINATED man. you know what i like. i even sent him an erotic story i wrote. his response? "Interesting." like i want a fucking REVIEW, or at least a "that's hot" would suffice. but when you're infodumping your special interest and i'm giving you honest feedback on that, i give you something i poured my heart and soul into and you just say "interesting" like that fucking meme.

Fuck i just needed to rant somewhere. i deserve a better dom, and even a better hookup. i'm never hooking up with anyone who isn't willing to fucking discipline and degrade me like i need, ever again. loving sex just isn't for me, not in the form of a random hook-up at least. maybe with a girl, or fuck just with someone willing to put some fucking passion into it. that is absolutely required of anyone signing up to fuck me.

thanks or listening to my Ted talk.

[archivlibrarianist]

Necessary reading, here, from the digital director of EveryLibrary. From the article:

"THIS IS NOT A GOOD-FAITH DISCUSSION

"The first thing we need to understand when we’re messaging about book bans is that we are not operating in a good-faith discussion, and we need to stop acting as if we were. In a good-faith discussion, both parties agree to an honest, respectful dialogue with the willingness to change their view if facts and data are presented. However, book banners are neither acting honestly nor respectfully. They will not consume new information and change their minds once educated on the issue. The individuals and organizations banning books are not looking to be educated. They don’t care about learning about the Miller Test for pornography, they are not interested in reading the books to put their propagandist images of a handful of pages into proper context, and they aren’t going to change their minds about books being banned. We have to stop acting as they will do any of these things.

"...Pro–book banning messaging and propaganda is used as a tool to build political power and influence for people and organizations to elect or appoint individuals to positions that allow them to govern and control Americans." [emphasis added]

They don't ban books because they care about books. They ban books because they are bullies, and they want to control people.

Don't let them.

[dead-pidoves-dirt-takes]

“You’re not oppressed for being proship!”

Okay cool, I agree, I never said I was.

But also,

You’re not being oppressed because people create art that’s personally unpleasant for you.

[hyperlexichypatia]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but: Yes, it can be awkward and uncomfortable when someone is romantically and/or sexually attracted to you, and you don't feel the same way. Especially if you like them as a friend, and you don't want to hurt their feelings or disrupt the friendship. Yep. That sure can be an awkward, uncomfortable situation.

However.

Someone's attraction to you is not betrayal. It is not hurting you. It is not immoral.

If someone being attracted to you makes you lose respect for them, I guess that's up to you, but why? If it makes you feel betrayed... why? Because you thought they respected you? What makes you think they don't?

I've seen this framing argued as both "It's wrong to be attracted to your friend without telling them, because that's basically lying!" and "If you must (shamefully) be attracted to your friend, it's wrong to tell them about it, because they didn't give you permission to impose that knowledge on them!" So there's not even any consensus on what someone who finds themself attracted to their friend should do about it, other than "Don't be."

There's this whole weird sex-shaming, attraction-shaming, romance-shaming undercurrent to this whole narrative that it's normal and understandable to feel betrayed by being the recipient of non-reciprocated attraction. It seems to be rooted in this unquestioned idea that attraction is in and of itself impure, disrespectful, and dehumanizing. In practice, it seems to involve a lot of (sometimes internalized) queerphobia, since it seems to largely be in the context of same-gender attraction.

If you find out that your friend is sexually and/or romantically attracted to you, and you don't feel the same way, it's understandable that you would feel uncomfortable and awkward about that person and the situation. But if you feel like they've betrayed you, maybe examine your assumptions about attraction?

[beanghostprincess]

i'm aware that due to luffy's more cheerful personality and looks, a lot of people might find it weird to picture him in sexual situations. especially since most of us see him as aroace (as if aroace people couldn't have sex or be in love but, y'know, that's for another time) and it's completely understandable to not feel comfortable around sexual stuff if you don't like it with this specific character. however, being uncomfortable around that type of content and infantilizing luffy's character to the point that you consider it problematic or wrong to put him in romantic/sexual situations is too much and you should let people enjoy characters however the fuck they want. if you don't like something just scroll and ignore it, but don't try to make everyone follow your own moral compass and likes because we're all different and luffy is just a fictional character.

people often forget he's the captain of a pirate crew. he's mature and has critical thinking and if seeing a cheerful/cute character instantly makes you assume he deserves to be "protected" from sex/romance, you are: infantilizing his personality (that may or may not be neurodivergent coded, but that's another story), villainizing sex and romance instead of just seeing those as something you don't personally enjoy but should let other people consume, and using being aroace as a shield from the real world and a stereotype instead of actually being inclusive and truly seeing him as aroaspec. friendly reminder that aroaspec people can have sex and be in romantic relationships because it's a spectrum. that's the whole thing about it. it's understandable to not be comfortable around sexual situations with a character you don't perceive as sexually active, but that doesn't mean it's wrong to write him that way. let people do whatever they want with their idea of luffy and have fun!

[dathen]

Another day, another “why didn’t Victor just make a woman with missing body parts to gift as a custom-made wife-slave to his other creation :// worst human being in history!!”