#seriously some of you have never worked in customer service and it shows

[puddingvalkyrie]

I think people should be summoned to retail, cleaning and other customer service jobs like it's jury duty.

You gotta work retail or clean toilets for two weeks every couple of years.

Doesn't matter what you normally do.

The person who normally does that job gets the two weeks off with full pay.

[sescoups]

favorite coworker - choi vernon

masterlist

word count: ~5.3k (i'm so sorry)

summary: vernon is your favorite. he just gets you. of course you can't resist him - not that you would ever want to.

a/n: this is definitely NOT proofread, and i'm sorry. idk i just have the fattest crush on vernon, honestly i can't be held accountable

18+, MDNI!!! warnings under the cut <3

warnings: oral (m. receiving), making out, creepy old man (he doesn't do anything, he's just a creep), mention of vomit, lmk if i missed anything! <3

“Wait so hang on, you mean to tell me you’ve never what..? Gone down on a guy?”

“Oh yell it out, why don’t you,” you groan, smacking your forehead into the counter. Thank fuck you just cleaned it.

Vernon is your coworker at the record store in the middle of the city. He’s super chill, does what he’s supposed to but doesn’t stress out or get pissy if you’re having a bad day and work slowly. He’s great. He’s just… a bit unaware of his surroundings, a lot of the time. You’re lucky only two people are in the store at the moment, or you would have simply passed away.

“Sorry, sorry,” he says, holding up his hands in a gesture of peace. “I just kinda can’t believe it? I mean, you’ve had sex for sure, right?”

“Yes, Vernon.” You roll your eyes and glare at an old man who is shamelessly looking you up and down. “I’ve had sex before. Just not a lot, I guess. And why is it so hard to believe?”

Had he been looking at your face, your raised eyebrow might have tipped him off to the fact that he should drop the topic and back off. Unfortunately, in typical Vernon fashion, he was doodling nonsense on a notepad, so he missed it completely.

“Well I mean, you’re hot,” he said before finally looking up at you. He started tapping his pen against the counter, leaning his weight on one hand against the counter. “You’re also pretty open about your life in general, so I just figured two plus two equals one, you know.”

“What the fu- Vernon. Think about what you just said.”

“Oh fuck. Yeah I deserved to fail math in high school.”

You burst into laughter at his words. This is exactly why you love Vernon, and why he’s your favorite coworker. You’re laughing so hard you barely manage to greet the new customer who just entered the store. Your coworker is smiling, satisfied with his ability to make you laugh.

The old man who is still eyeing you, now with extra focus on your boobs, comes up to the register just as you manage to sober up from your laughing fit. You clear your throat and turn to face him, giving him a tiny smile in the spirit of customer service. Apparently a mistake.

“Excuse me, sweetheart,” he starts, running his tongue over his front teeth in what you suspect is supposed to be a seduction attempt. “Would you mind maybe showing me some of the records you have in the back?”

The smile leaves your face immediately, and you’re about to absolutely emaciate him when Vernon cuts in to make sure you do not lose your job over some smarmy geezer.

“She cannot, sir. It’s store policy. Soz.”

You hold your snort in, but barely. The old man huffs and glares at the man next to you, crossing his arms over his chest. Honestly, you’re curious at this point. You’ve never seen Vernon handle confrontation - again, very chill dude - but you also know he is very protective over his friends.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” the old man says with an eye roll. “I was talking to the pretty young lady.”

His smile sends a shiver down your spine, and you take a deep breath. The old man watches your boobs rise and fall. Seriously, fuck this guy. You force the customer service smile back on your face because you actually really like and need this job, and decide this sack of shit isn’t worth it.

“He’s right, sir. It’s against store policy, and I’m currently on register duty. If there is a specific record you wish to see, we can look it up in the system.”

“I’ll keep looking for a while… in case you change your mind.”

The way he winks at you makes your blood boil, and it’s a wonder your teeth don’t crack from the pressure of your jaw. The man walks away, and so does Vernon. He can’t really kick the guy out unless he does something physical, so you don’t know what he’s trying to do. Soon, though, your confusion melts into amusement and glee as you watch your coworker follow the man around the store, loudly dissing his music taste whenever he picks up a record. He keeps walking just a little bit too close for comfort, and after about three minutes, the man gives up.

You take huge pleasure in the way the man skulks out, hands in his pockets and back hunched over as if he’s trying to get away from something - or someone. Returning to the register, Vernon grins to himself and resumes his doodling without a word. You shake your head in amazement before going to help the other two customers in the store.

The next time you’re working with Vernon, you have the closing shift. Usually only one person is supposed to stay back after closing and clean up, but you just received a large shipment of vinyls that need to be sorted and placed into protective sleeves, so the two of you are working overtime together.

It’s a pretty slow shift, and the two of you pass the time by playing music for one another and guessing the artist and the title. You’re much better at it than he is, but only because you’re good at memorizing things; he has a far more varied music taste than you, and would easily have won had he remembered more than two song names and five artists. As per the terms of the game, the loser has to go out to get the dinner you preordered from a restaurant down the street. It’s not far, but it’s raining, so you’re glad to be exempt.

While your colleague is gone, you close out the register and sweep the floor so you only have the vinyl sorting left after you’ve eaten. The break room smells like wet dog and Doritos, so you bring two chairs out together with the foldable table that you’re going to use to sort the vinyls. Since no one is in the store anyway, you can people watch through the windows while you eat.

Vernon comes back in just as you finish setting up, soaking wet from the pouring rain. You coo at him when he shivers, and he shoots you a playful glare. He ends up holding his glare for all of two seconds before a wide smile stretches across his face.

“I left an extra shirt here at some point, do you think it smells like teenage boy?”

You escape the break room with two plates and some utensils in hand, laughing at his question and probably unfortunate fate.

“Because of the proximity to the break room? Probably. That shit is unavoidable.”

He grimaces before taking his jacket off, hanging it on a hook behind the register. He disappears to change while you plate the food, humming to yourself. You try not to think about how he’s probably half naked right now, and turn your attention to the fact that he most likely will smell atrocious to keep your head on straight.

You do love Vernon. He’s a great coworker, obviously, and he’s a great friend too, but that’s not really the full extent of it. You’ve been battling your crush on him for months now, because it’s pretty clear that he isn’t interested in you. Besides, if you ever did date, things would get awkward at work if you broke up. No, he is one of those people who should stay firmly at arm’s length. Unfortunately.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a loud bang, making you jump a good foot in the air.

“What the fuck, Nonnie?”

“Sorry,” he grimaces, checking that the door he managed to fling directly into the wall hadn’t done any damage. “I tripped.”

“Only you, Vern,” you sigh. “Well, food is ready to go. Let’s eat!”

The meal, consisting of some kimchi jjigae, rice and side salad, passes by in relative silence. You occasionally hum in content, and Vernon often slurps his jjigae really loudly which prompts you to giggle. He always looks glad to have amused you, and you need to look away often in order to control your emotions.

“Dude,” he groans after his third serving, “I’m so fucking full.”

“I’m not the one who got an order for five people, genius,” you groan back, your own stomach feeling like a water balloon. “So good though.”

“So good,” he nods earnestly.

You can’t stand to look at him like this; you need something to do with your hands. So you stand up and stretch, which actually does help the food settle in your stomach a bit. Your hair, tied in a bun to avoid getting any food in it, comes down to release some of the pressure on your scalp, and then you feel ready to get started.

“Take all the time you need, man, but I’m gonna start on the first box. I want to get home before dawn, if I can.”

He flashes you a thumbs up and slumps against the table to enter into a food coma. You scoff at him and shake your head before clearing the dishes from the table. Thank God you have a dishwasher in the break room.

You bring out the first box and start sorting it, referencing the list you have as you go to take inventory. It’s repetitive work, but it’s kind of soothing, too. You do your best to make the plastic of the vinyl coverings crinkle as little as possible, wanting Vernon to rest for as long as he needs to. Three servings of kimchi jjigae would make anyone drowsy.

The first sign that he is still alive comes ten minutes later when he starts drumming a random rhythm on the table. You snort when you recognize the rhythm, pausing with a vinyl halfway into its covering.

“You can’t drum the melody to Dun Dun Dance, Vernon.”

“I can do whatever I want,” he protests weakly, cheek still pressed firmly against the table surface. “But nicely done. What about this one?” He drums out another rhythm, and now that you know it’s a melody he’s following, you recognize it quicker.

“That’s Candy by H.O.T.”

“Nice.”

“You gonna work or rest, bud?”

Vernon whines at your words and rolls his head to rest his forehead against the table instead. You wait patiently as he gathers the strength to sit up properly and kick a box of vinyls over to him when he seems more alive.

“Life isn’t fair,” he pouts, “I just did so much work eating all that food, and now I gotta do more?”

“It’s like that,” you agree absentmindedly, marking off a stack of vinyls on your list. “Can you turn on some music, please? The silence is creepy.”

He nods and connects his phone to the store speakers, choosing the playlist the two of you created together on a similar night of overtime. After that, the two of you slip into a rhythm together, unpacking vinyls, checking the list, and then putting them into a protective sleeve. It’s mostly silent aside from the music, and sometimes Vernon drums along to the beat on the table, but it’s comfortable. You kind of don’t mind spending a few hours like this.

When you’re two thirds through the stack of boxes, you both decide to take a break. Your saint of a colleague brews some coffee, and you hop onto the checkout counter to browse through your phone while your brain cells take a well-deserved rest.

“Bless you,” you say as you accept a mug full of coffee. “We’re making pretty good time today, eh?”

“Yeah,” he agrees, taking a sip and wincing at the scalding temperature. “We haven’t really been talking, so.”

“That jjigae really took you out, huh?”

“Oh yeah.”

You grin at him and blow gently over your coffee. It’s still too hot to drink, as evidenced by the steam rising from it, but the smell alone is kind of waking you up. Vernon grabs your attention by clearing his throat gently, and you turn to look at him. He’s fidgeting a bit with a pen left on the counter close to your thigh.

“I, uh… I wanted to say I’m sorry about that dude the other day. The creepy one. I probably should have kicked him out, but I didn’t know if I could…”

Your heart melted a little in your chest. It was obvious he had been carrying this around with him, mulling it over and worrying about it. About you. It was endearing, and dangerous for your heart. You bit your lip and placed your coffee mug on the counter next to you.

“It’s okay,” you say earnestly. “He sucked, and I was uncomfortable, but you still made him leave. I didn’t feel like I was in danger or anything, so don’t worry about it.”

“I just feel like it’s partially my fault, for kind of yelling about the fact that you’ve never sucked a dick before.” You’re incredibly grateful that you weren’t drinking coffee at that moment, because you definitely would have spat it out all over the floor. His bluntness never ceased to surprise you. It was unbearably adorable. “I should be more aware of my surroundings, especially when talking about something sensitive like that.”

“Well,” you start, pausing thoughtfully. “I don’t really think that man would have acted differently either way, to be honest with you. Men like that are just… like that. I also don’t really care who knows I’ve never given a blowjob before. It doesn’t matter, at the end of the day. I haven’t done it because I haven’t slept with anyone who’s dick I wanted to suck, and that’s all. I just wish I knew how sometimes, you know?”

He shuffles his weight around at your words, shifting from foot to foot. He’s still fumbling with the pen on the counter, but now his fingers are clumsier than usual. You glance up at his face only to find him staring into empty space in front of him. You figure you made him uncomfortable with your oversharing.

“Sorry. That was TMI.”

“No,” he answers quickly. “We share everything. I told you when I threw up on Seungkwan’s lap and cried because I felt bad, didn’t I?” You smile at the reminder and nod. He finally meets your eyes again. “I was just thinking, you know.”

“What about?”

Vernon’s mind is the most fascinating thing to you. The way he thinks is so out of the box and different, and so beautiful. He has shown you the lyrics he writes for his friend Jihoon sometimes, and they’re so poetic you find yourself turning them over in your mind for days afterward. And the best part about it is that he always answers you when you ask what’s going on inside his head. He grants you access to his thoughts and feelings, and it’s the greatest gift you’ve ever received.

“Well. I don’t know if this is going to come off as creepy or not,” he warns, “but I was thinking like… Maybe you should just get it over with.”

“Get what over with?” Your eyebrow rises as you ask the question, and his furrow in response.

“I just mean that you could know how to give a good blowjob, if you wanted to. You could just… pick someone to sleep with. And ask them to teach you. You know?”

“Nonnie,” you start, and your bewildered tone makes him shrink a little. “You really believe the best of people, don’t you?”

“Well- I mean yes, but I didn't mean you should just sleep with anyone. You could just pick someone you already know.”

His words give you pause. You have plenty of friends in possession of a penis, but the thought of sleeping with most of them feels kinda gross. The one exception is… Well, Vernon. And you sincerely doubt that he is offering himself up. So you do what you always do and make a joke to force your mind away from the thought of sucking on your friend’s dick until he cums for you.

“What, are you offering?”

“I mean, yeah,” he shrugs.

You stop breathing. He is actually, genuinely offering to teach you how to suck dick. More specifically, his dick. The one that has been the star of many of your more illicit fantasies. You want to say yes so badly, want to finally get the experience of being something more to him, but you also don’t want to get ahead of yourself. But…

The room is silent while you’re thinking. You feel his eyes on the side of your face, feel the way he’s cataloging every emotion that overtakes your features, and you swallow harshly. Your heart is beating out of your chest and your hands are shaking, and your brain is running a mile a minute with no end in sight.

Then Vernon places his hand on your thigh. His touch is warm but light, ready to pull away as soon as you want him to, but it’s enough to bring your soul back into your body and get a grasp on your thoughts and feelings. You bite your lower lip and breathe in deeply before letting it go. Yeah, you’re doing this.

“I uh, I’m going to need some guidance,” you say, and you almost miss the way your friend’s eyes widen at your words.

“O-Of course. And if you want to stop at any time, just like, tell me, yeah?”

You smile at the comfort his words bring you. “Yeah.”

There is silence once again, but this one is heavy with a different kind of tension. You both know what’s happening, but you don’t know what your next move should be. Technically, you should be working and saving any… other activities for your own free time, but you don’t think waiting is something you’re capable of at this point.

He is the one to make the first move, placing his half-empty mug on the counter and placing himself between your legs. His hands find a place on your waist, bunching the fabric of your shirt slightly. Sitting on the counter means you’re a little bit taller than he is, but you really don’t mind it. He holds your gaze for a few seconds before his left hand lifts to cup your face.

“Are you okay with kissing?” His voice is a bit deeper than normal, and you would be lying if you said it didn’t make heat pool between your legs. “I understand if not, but-”

You interrupt him with a gentle kiss. His lips are pillowy against yours, smooth and plump. You thank your past self for bullying him into using chapstick, because you can honestly say that this might be your favorite kiss ever.

Vernon’s hand moves from your jaw to rake through your hair, and you moan a little when his fingers catch a little in the back. He responds by stepping even closer to you and sliding his entire arm around your back, your chest pressing against his deliciously. The only thought going through your mind is the fact that you are kissing your favorite coworker, and how you really, really want to bury his cock in your throat.

He chases after you when you pull away slightly to catch your breath, and you don’t even mind that the oxygen deprivation is making you dizzy. You slump against him a little when he tugs on your hair again, and you move to return the favor. As soon as you pull on the hair at the back of his neck, he forces himself to pull away and gulp down some air.

His eyes are glazed over, his lips slick with a mix of your and his saliva, and his chest is rising and falling where it’s pressed against yours. It's painfully attractive. He rasps out a quiet groan and leans his forehead against yours. You love the feeling of his harsh breaths hitting your face and answer back with your own.

You feel like you’re in a bubble, because the world around you feels muted and time feels like it has stopped moving. You wouldn’t be surprised if the earth had stopped spinning.

“Sorry,” he breathes. He buries his face in the crook of your neck and inhales your scent. “I just really wanted to do that.”

“Stop apologizing,” you respond, bringing your hand onto his head to scratch at his scalp. “I liked it. Maybe a bit too much.”

Your words bring a whine out of Vernon, and he squeezes you tighter. You’re still on top of the counter, but you can feel his bulge against the inside of your thigh. It twitches against you every time you tug at the ends of his hair, and it makes you smile.

One of your hands snakes down and cups him through his jeans. He reacts strongly despite the thick material separating you. His willingness to show you how good you make him feel make you fall for him all over again. As if he wasn’t already perfect enough.

“Y/N,” he gulps when you move your hand against him, “we’re taking this at your pace, and I can go as slowly as you want to, but I think I might go insane if I don’t get these pants off.”

You giggle breathlessly as you pull away from him, and he forces himself to take a step back from you. You lean back on your hands, your knees still spread from where he was standing previously. He’s distracted for a few seconds before he finally remembers to unbutton his jeans and tugs them down his legs.

The bulge had been apparent through the jeans, but you can truly tell how hard he is when they come off. The way he twitches in his boxers is so obvious you almost feel bad for him. You decide it’s time you follow through and receive your lesson.

You hop off the counter and slide onto your knees in front of him. It’s unfair how attractive he is even from this angle, you think, and slide your hands up his thighs. You’ve given handjobs before, so it’s not exactly your first time touching a dick, but the goal is different now. This time, your hands are just the warmup and not the main event. You’re just hoping you can bring him some sort of pleasure in spite of your inexperience.

“Tell me how to start,” you whisper up at him. He blinks a few times at the sight of you before sucking in a deep breath.

“Yeah,” he rasps. His throat is already dry with anticipation. “I uh, I mean everyone is different when it comes to this stuff, so uh-”

“Just teach me what you like, Nonnie.” Your hands are massaging his thighs, nails digging into his skin every now and then. Whenever they do, you can feel him shudder.

“O-Oh, okay,” he breathes, sounding broken already. “I prefer skipping the handjob first, I guess. I really l-like the feeling of licking, especially at the tip, and uh-” He is becoming redder by the second. “One step at a time. Uhm, start by removing my boxers.”

You nod obediently and slide your hands up to his lower tummy, watching the expressions of pleasure as they take over his face. You assume you will never get to do this again, so you do your best to burn it all into your mind for later use on lonely nights spent with your vibrator. He shudders again when your nails scratch his skin lightly. Your fingers curl around the hem of his underwear and tug.

His cock is beautiful. It’s pretty long, curving slightly towards his stomach, and the tip of it is a perfect shade of peach. Your mouth waters at the thought of getting to taste it, and you eye the drop of precum spilling from the tip. You gently shuffle closer, but he stops you.

“Sorry, you’re fine, I just need something to lean against,” he explains when you look at him in fear of having done something wrong. He maneuvers you both so that he’s leaning against the counter you were sitting on not five minutes ago, and you’re in front of him.

“What now, Nonnie?” you ask, his eyes shutting and chest expanding to accommodate a deep breath.

“You should probably just uh, stroke me a few times first. Then uhm, then you can do whatever you want.” You blink at him a few times, trying to indicate that he’s supposed to be teaching you how to do this. For once, he gets the hint. “Like I said, I uh, like licking. When you take me in you just have to make sure not to like, bite me. Other than that, you can take it at your own speed and depth - for your comfort, of course, but I’m also not picky.”

You admire the flush decorating his cheeks and neck. He looks so good like this, towering over you and looking at you like you hold the answer to his ultimate pleasure. You try to convince yourself that you do, that you will be able to listen and follow his guidance well enough that this will feel good for him. You decide that you will.

Raising your right hand, you grip him tightly in your fist. It makes him suck in a breath, and you feel the muscles in his thighs tense up. You pump him a few times, going slow and using his precum as lube. It’s not enough, of course, but you will move on soon.

“Fuck…” he heaves, leaning back onto the counter even more. He looks into your eyes and swears again. “Please, sweetheart, as soon as you’re ready, I-I want-”

You cut him off by pressing your tongue against the head of his dick. The flavor is salty and a little bit bitter, but it tastes like heaven. Your eyes briefly slip closed as you continue kitten-licking at his slit, and he lets out a winy moan. You open your eyes and look at him, only to find him with his head tilted back to look at the ceiling.

“How is this?” you pause to ask, continuing before he’s had time to answer.

“Good, baby,” Vernon answers through his labored breathing. “So, so good. Keep going, you’re doing great.”

The praise bolsters your confidence, and you give a long lick from his base to his tip. The motion makes him moan again, so you repeat it a few more times. In no time at all, his cock is covered in a mixture of your saliva and his own precum. You decide it’s time to try and take him in your mouth - both because you’ve teased him enough, but you’re also too impatient to wait anymore.

His tip breaches the heat of your mouth , and you find you have to open your jaw quite a bit to accommodate him. A punched out groan leaves him, and one of his hands comes down to tangle in your hair. When a strand of it falls in front of your face, he gathers your hair into a makeshift ponytail at the back of your head.

You love the weight of him on your tongue, and dare to sink down a bit lower. He hits the top of your mouth. You gag around him, and he gently pulls you off of him to check on you.

“You okay? You don’t have to keep going,” he reminds you. It only serves to make you more determined to make him cum down the back of your throat.

“What can I do better?” you ask while stroking him in your hand. You still want to improve.

“Honestly?” he wheezes, his hips jumping of their own accord. “You’re doing great.” You glare a bit at him, and he smiles down at you apologetically. “Sorry. But you are doing great. Maybe try sucking a bit more? Not just placing me in your mouth.”

You nod and sink right back down on him. His noises of pleasure are never-ending, and they only increase in volume as well as frequency once you properly suck around him. You bob up and down on him, his hand clenching in your hair as he’s doing his best not to fuck your throat. You’re making it pretty hard.

“Please, baby, I’m gonna fucking- Where do you want me to cum?”

His voice is hoarse and strained, and his grip on your hair has grown so tight it’s stinging your scalp. You savor the pain and rub your thighs together, mewling around him. You grip his ass and push deeper to signal for him to cum in your mouth, and it’s not a second too soon because he immediately spills his seed into you.

Vernon cums so much that some spills out onto your chin, but you diligently swallow what you can. He tries to keep his eyes on you, but his vision quite literally whites out as he reaches his high, so his eyes screw shut without his permission. You, on the other hand, couldn’t tear your gaze from him if you tried. He’s beautiful when he cums, his eyebrows scrunched in what almost looks like pain and his jaw slack in awe. His thighs tremble, and you’re glad he’s leaning against the counter so he doesn’t collapse onto the floor.

“Fuck, how are you so good at this,” he heaves out when his vision returns. You just smirk up at him, some of his cum still covering your chin and lips.

“I had a good teacher,” you tease back. Your voice is raspy after bobbing on his cock, and he finds it painfully attractive.

He notices the way you clench your thighs together and realizes you’re still on the floor. He’s quick to bend down and help you to your feet. As soon as you’re in front of him, he’s kissing you. He doesn’t care about the cum transferring from your chin to his, nor the fact that his softening dick is still out in the open; all he can think about is that he wants to pay you back for what you just did for him.

“Nonnie,” you breathe between kisses, and instead of pulling away it makes him kiss you harder, faster, deeper. He loves when you call him that. He reluctantly pulls away when you push gently against his chest, though. “We should finish the-”

“I need to eat you out, baby. Please, please let me.” His interruption surprises you, and so does his suggestion. He must see your confusion, because he quickly clears things up for you. “I want to, because I like you so much. I promise to ask you to be my girlfriend after this, but please, let me eat you out first.”

“Okay, but Nonnie-” you say, but he interrupts you with a passionate kiss as he mumbles thanks against your lips. “Nonnie.” He sighs and pulls away, resting his forehead against yours. He closes his eyes to stop himself from jumping you again, and you smile. “I’ll say yes right now. I want to be your girlfriend. Is that okay?”

He kisses you so deeply you lose track of where he starts and you end, but you’re just so glad to be kissing him again you probably couldn’t have figured it out anyway. You don’t talk much more that evening, and you definitely don’t get home before midnight, but at least you go home and fall into bed together. Maybe his inattentiveness was a blessing, after all.

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a/n: don't forget to like and reblog if you enjoyed this post! <3

[bettyfrommars]

Touch my cheek before you leave me, baby

gigolo!Eddie x virgin!older!Reader

(part 2) (part 3)

18+Only, mature themes, intimacy smut, protected p in v, oral (f receiving), paid sex, pet names, insecurities, reader is wearing a skirt, f & m orgasm. WC: 2.8k

Summary: Reader is a 29 year old virgin introvert in need of a confidence boost. Eddie is hired to make our first time a good one. Eddie catches some feelings that he wasn't expecting. Tummy rolls are briefly mentioned, but not in a disparaging way.

A/N: I had this idea last night about him needing the intimacy as much as reader. And then my head started running with all of his possible other clients and the debauchery they could get into together, but this one is just sweet.

Today is your 29th birthday, and your friends pooled their money together to get you the one thing you desperately wanted: to not be a virgin anymore.

You hadn’t been holding onto your virginity for any particular reason, but there had been several factors at play.  First of all, you didn’t like to leave the house much, aside from going to work and the rare meetup with friends, and so the chance of bumping into a promising sexual partner in your hallway was remote.  Secondly, you considered yourself to be fairly plain; you weren't one of the babes that men drooled over or tripped over themselves in the street for.  The crushes you’d had thus far were never reciprocated.  No one had openly pinned over you or held a boombox over their head outside your window, and on the occasion that someone did show interest, they often did not earn your affections. 

Your friends decided, and you agreed, that your first time should be with a professional, a guy who could give you the best first time that money could buy.  

Enter, Eddie Munson.

Covered in tattoos, he played in a band, and  had a reputation around town for being a favorite sexual companion for bored housewives and curious young women alike.  He was notorious for being particular about the clients he took on, though, and he didn’t just advertise in the paper—you had to be referred by a friend.  

That friend came in the form Robin Buckley, one of the baristas your friend Nellie worked with at the coffee shop.

“He’ll treat her right,” Robin assured her, jotting the number down.  “Now, I’ve never needed his services, personally, but I’ve never met an unsatisfied customer.  He makes women feel…desired.  As they should.”

So, there you were, two glasses of wine later, perched at the edge of the sofa in the lobby of the hotel where you’d been told to meet him.  Your friends knew exactly where you were, and there had been paperwork to fill out and sign—you didn’t know gigolos needed official signatures, but all the same, it stripped it down to a business transaction which is basically what it was. There were a few boxes to check off regarding things that turned you on and, conversely, triggers that he should avoid saying or doing during your time together. Did you have a praise kink or a daddy kink? Did you enjoy the use of pet names within intimacy, or was that something he should avoid? Hair pulling, choking, spitting, ass play, all of it was available for a check mark and you felt like you had the potential to compile one seriously huge fuckfest ice cream Sunday.  

He knew you were a virgin, and that you might not even know if you’d like some of the things offered, and he promised to take that into consideration to enhance your experience on the whole. 

Once he had accepted you as a client, he gave Nellie a safety list of things that would make your experience more enjoyable, and one of them had been not to drink too much, because he didn’t want you to engage in any activity you might regret.  Another one was to dress comfortably; there was no need to try and impress him—he was the one who needed to impress you.  

And impress you, he did.

He showed up earlier than expected, beard stubble grown in and a little scruffy (because you said you liked it that way), long hair tied back, button down black shirt cuffed at the elbows exposing his tattoos, and black jeans.  He also had a bouquet of yellow daffodils clutched in his fist, wrapped in cellophane.

His eyes locked onto you immediately and you watched them light up; a smile breaking the sigh that hitched in his chest.  He put the palm of his free hand over his heart as he walked toward you.

“Damn, baby, you are a sight for sore eyes,” he was beaming genuinely, as if he really meant it.  “Even better in person.”  Your friends had shown him a photo of you so that he would know what you looked like, but you had no idea which photo it was.

You didn't feel like you looked good, though, so you lowered your eyes as you got to your feet on wobbly legs, feeling frumpy and bloated, taking in the sharp reminder that he was being paid to lie to you.  You were so nervous, your palms were sweating, and the wine was churning sour in your stomach from the swarm of butterflies in there.

“Hey,” he got close enough to crook his finger under your chin and tilt your head up; his golden flecked, rye bread eyes were serious.  “You know how beautiful you are, right?”

All you could do was nod under the kind assessment of his stare, and it made a smile stretch across his lips. “That’s my girl,” he said, introducing himself properly, handing you the daffodils.

He knew that daffodils were your favorite flower, because of the paperwork you filled out, but you never expected to receive any, since they weren’t even in season.  There must’ve been a flower shop somewhere that had them, and Eddie had found it.  He offered his elbow for you to take.

There were two other people in the elevator, and he pulled you back flush against him, possessively holding you by your hips.

Eddie had a key to the room, and once he pushed the door open, you could tell he’d already been there.  The lights were all off, but for a lamp on the opposite side of the bed near the window, and two candles lit on the desk near the TV.  What you assumed was his leather jacket was the only thing hanging in the closet.  You even spotted Magnum condoms and a fresh bottle of lube on the nightstand.

“How’s the lighting, sweetheart? You want me to turn that lamp off?” 

You specified that you wanted the room to be dark, maybe just enough light to see what each other was doing, but you didn’t want him to see you in full brightness.  This whole time, you’d been too nervous to say more than one or two words.  

“Because, if I’m being honest,” he slid his hand up the side of your neck, palm warm against your skin.  “I really want to see you.”

“It’s fine,” you choked out, unable to hold eye contact with him for too long.  God, you bet he was already regretting taking you on as a client.  What a waste of a boring evening for him; but, at least he was getting paid.  

Yet, not even a flicker of his enthusiasm for you left his eyes.  He took the daffodils from you and put them on the dresser at the foot of the bed.  

When he turned back around, he cupped both hands around the sides of your throat, thumbs at your jawline.  “You can trust me baby.  If things start moving too fast, you let me know okay?”

You nodded.

“Have you ever been kissed before?”

You bit your lip and then, “a couple times. I had a boyfriend once, but it was long distance and it—”

But then Eddie’s hands slipped up to cup either side of your jaw, fingers slotting at your ears.  He nudged your nose with his, then then he kissed your top lip, parting them with his tongue.  

You closed your eyes, letting him move your head from side to side, and you couldn’t help the moan that squeaked out of your throat as arousal built between your legs.  He smiled against your mouth, nuzzling your nose.  “You’re a good kisser, baby.”

Deciding you liked it when he lied, you allowed yourself to become an active participant and slid your hands up his ribs, clutching him, pulling him closer.  He kissed you softly a few more times, caressing your cheeks with his thumbs, and your hand found the courage to travel down yonder and see what was below his belt.  

What you found made your eyes fly open: not only was it huge, but it was hard.  

Eddie chuckled.  “See what you do to me?”

The one thing you had done several times was given a few blow jobs here and there, and so you were working his belt open and dropping to your knees at the same time when he stopped you, catching you at your ribs to pull you back up.

“Tonight is all about you, angel,” he assured, urging you back to drop down to take a seat on the bed.  You stared up at him while he straddled your legs and unbuttoned his shirt.  Once the defined muscles of his chest and scattered tattoos were exposed, he helped you take your shirt off, pulling it over your head, and then he knelt before you.  

You braced your hands behind you as he pushed your skirt up  your thighs, maintaining eye contact.  He caught a glimpse of the lacy underwear you had on and he lifted an approving eyebrow.  

You swallowed hard, and then he was sliding the underwear down your legs and off, kissing your knees as he went.  He came closer, arms nudging your legs wider, taking a glimpse at the glistening gift you had for him underneath.  

Eddie bit his bottom lip, making a hungry groan.  “You gonna let me taste you, sweetheart?”

“I think so, um, yes?” your hips twitched forward a bit, begging.  Normally, you were too shy to let others go down on you, but you were determined to get all you could out of this night, knowing it was a rare opportunity.  

He brushed his lips along your thigh as his hands worked your skirt up higher.  You shivered when you felt the warm breath on your swollen lower lips, and then he was watching you as his tongue flicked out in a few kitten licks.  After a taste, enjoying the way you writhed, he buried his mouth, moaning, fingers clutching your thighs.

“Grab my hair, baby,” he said.  “Tell me how much you like it.”

So, you did just that.  His ponytail tie was off, so his hair was around his shoulders, and you slid your fingers in to hold on as he took you in his mouth and rolled your bundle of nerves around with breathtaking accuracy.  

He'd only intended to tease you a bit, but once he tasted you, he couldn't stop. He had his tongue buried inside as soon as he was able, feeling the tip of his cock leak at the gift of your arousal.

It wasn’t long before you could feel yourself beginning to unravel, at it was the first time another person had brought you to that peak. The tension mounted in your belly, going taunt, before it sprang loose and a fizzy warmth gushed through your nerve endings. “just…like that,” you told him.  “I think you might make me…”

You held his head as you were cumming, leg jerking, head falling back, pining his ears wth your thighs.  

He wanted you to kiss him right then and there so that you could taste your release on his mouth, and you obliged, holding his face as you did so, melting into the moment.

For the next minute, you helped each other undress, and it was all happening so organically—it felt so real—that you could almost imagine he was actually your boyfriend, or someone who at the very least, wanted to be. 

Both naked now, he held you close as you stood next to the bed, tracing a finger down the side of your face.  “Are you ready, baby?”

Truly, you’d been ready your whole adult life, and you were glad you had waited for Eddie, even if this was a paid arrangement and you’d probably never see him again.

His lips tended to your neck and your breasts while he worked the condom on, making the educated decision that you were so soaking wet, he wouldn’t need any extra lubrication.  

It was the intimacy that you’d specified wanting to feel; like he was no stranger to you and this moment was something special between two people who felt deeply about each other.  So, he came down close and gave you exactly that, putting his forehead to yours.  “I’m gonna go slow at first, okay?” He breathed.  “You tell me if it’s too much?”

“I will, baby.”

He smiled at the way you returned the use of the pet name, feeling your body open up beneath him as anxiety and doubt morphed into trust.

“Shit,” Eddie broke character for a second as the tip sank in, caught off guard at how tight you were, and he had to pull out again for a second to catch his bearings.  

It was the closeness that he loved, too---he craved it.  He’d never had a client who wanted it this way, and it was the main reason he’d taken you on.  It wasn’t the virgin aspect—surprisingly enough, he’d been a first-time experience for a good handful of his customers.  It was the opportunity to pretend he was someone’s boyfriend for the night—a role he hadn’t played in real life for far too long.  The chance to pretend that you both cared deeply for each other and no one else in the world existed.  

He sank in this time a little further than the tip, and you cursed, but then nodded for him to keep going.  “All of it, baby,” you urged, leaning into your role.

Your core was rippling around his length, aching for more.

He went half in and dipped it back and forth a few times, pausing to watch your face.  

“I’m worried that I–” he started, but then he realized he was breaking character again, and the vulnerability made him stiffen.

“What are you worried about?” You whimpered as he stretched you out a bit more.  Your legs were wide, bottoms of your feet planted on the bed.

He thrust in with a shudder, both of you gasping.  “I’m worried I might like this too much.”

Inside, there were party streamers exploding in your soul at the mutual yearning that ebbed between you.  As you gave yourself over to him, there was a feeling that he was also giving himself over to you, and it felt so real, that you rode the wave with every fiber of your being, wrapping your legs around him, kissing him deep.

The kissing and the endearing moans were about to make him cum, so he sat back, shaking his head, and hooked your knees over his elbows.  

He took you in from under hooded eyes as he made long, slow thrusts inside.  “You’re so fucking hot, sweetheart."

You were so deep in it, you actually believed him this time.

“Harder, baby,” you coaxed. 

That elicited a coy smile and an eyebrow wiggle from him.  “Oh, that's my girl,” he breathed, and then he was fucking you so hard your tits bounced, as did your belly rolls, and you could tell he was getting off at the sight.  His thumb found your nub and worked there, making you expose your throat with a whine, enjoying the wet slap of your arousal as your bodies met.

The connection and intensity between the two of you was palpable, and you couldn’t tell if it was manufactured or real, but regardless, you could feel another velvet bomb inside of you about to explode.  

His eyebrows were pinched when you found his eyes.  “I’m close, I’m close, I think I’m…”

The closest you’d ever been to knowing the sweet pull of a mounting orgasm be gore that night was from those moments alone with your vibrator, and having your hole satiated by Eddie thick cock enhanced it in a way you could’ve only imagined.

“Fuck, me too,” he grabbed your thighs with both hands and buried himself over and over.

It never happened this way.  In fact, there had been several times when he had never cum at all: he was always very content to make it about the other person.  He fully intended to wait for your second orgasm before he even tried to relieve himself, but this time it felt too good; he wanted it too fucking bad.  

Your head snapped to the side as you came, babbling his name, walls clenching around his cock in a way that sent his hips jerking, pounding against you, pretending his seed was filling you up instead of a condom.  

Eddie bit his lip as you both chased the high, and then his sweaty forehead was on yours again, long hair grazing your cheeks.  He needed to kiss you when he was done, and that was how you liked it, too.

Your friends had only been able to pay for two hours' worth of Eddie’s time, but you ended up staying for much longer than that, at his urging.  He coaxed you over to lay all of your body weight on him, and the two of you stayed like that, listening to each other breathe. You called to give them this update, and the confusion in Nellie’s voice was priceless.  

When you were both getting dressed, Eddie started buttoning his shirt while you sat down to put your shoes on.

“Hey, so, if you ever want to do this again,” he swallowed, thinking of his words while you waited, head turned to look at him.  He couldn’t meet your eyes, he just kept fumbling at a button.  “You wouldn’t have to be a client.  I mean, I wouldn’t charge you.”

Part 2

[meaningofaeons]

Ehhh hi! I love your work so i wanted to ask for hcs with star rail men and kafka (choose whoever you want) with gn!reader or s/o who has a lot of childhood trauma. I mean brutal emotional and physical abuse from a really young age, a lot of scars, blood, sa, ect. How would (star rail character) react to s/o telling them about their past/ seeing s/o's scars? Pls angst🙏. If you dont like the request, just ignore this. Have a nice day/night! -anon

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ old scars die hard

⊹ character(s) - sampo koski, kafka, jing yuan ⊹ word count - 1.3k ⊹ notes - gn!reader, TW!! themes of abuse both emotional and physical, self-harm tendencies (not touched on as much but possibly implied?), etc. please read with caution and heed the warnings!!!

hi anon omg I hope you're okay (ﾐዎ ﻌ ዎﾐ)ﾉ I don't know whether this is personal to you and your experiences or not but regardless!! this req touched me I know it's been sitting in my ask box for a while but I wanted to do it proper justice. I love you anon and I hope you are doing well <3!!! thanks for the req!

⊹ Sampo Koski

He's not super concerned at first when he sees the first signs of scars

I mean, he's had his fair share of run-ins with disgruntled "customers". His scars are more numerous than yours, he'd assume.

That is, until he remembers you're not really in the same line of fire that he can typically find himself in

That's what gets him wondering.

Sampo's not really one to get into emotional vulnerability, and I don't think he'd ask you first

Unless of course, you started to gain new ones under his watch

If he's known you for a while, I feel like he'd have questioned it often until you told him to stop, and then he'd be kind of reluctant to bring it up again.

However, if you two are fairly new friends/partners, he'd dance around the issue but try to confront it regardless.

Especially if the abuse is current from people currently in your life or something you recently inflicted on yourself, he'd try to mention/address it in a roundabout way.

"That doesn't look so hot, Y/N! Might wanna see Miss Nat for it. What, you getting into the business of scam—aheh, I mean, customer service—too?"

Sampo tries to keep it light, but when he notices the way you tremble at the acknowledgement he makes of your wounds, his face crumples.

He's instantly apologizing, instantly doing anything to make you feel even a little better.

Offering to take you out to lunch, buy you something nice, or just get some takeout food and watch a show together.

I feel like Sampo, being relatively unequipped to seriously handle stuff like this (considering he's very much a humor-cope kind of person) would be especially frantic in trying to assuage your troubles

Whatever you want! Seriously, he'll bend over backwards for you, especially when you're vulnerable.

Sampo Koski may not be the most sensitive or empathetic, but he knows when to hold the quips and jokes.

He's a very good listener, though. It's honestly pretty shocking.

Now, Sampo's not much of a violent criminal.

Yes, he's a conman, but usually his plans involve escape over actual fighting back.

Still, when he hears about those who have made you suffer, he's not going to stand by.

In the cover of night, after tending to your wounds (both physical and emotional), he'd be off.

He won't kill them. But Sampo sure as hell will make sure they wouldn't even think of coming within five miles of you ever again.

And you'll never find out about it, either.

All that will happen is your life improving because your abuser will be out of it, and Sampo is perfectly content melding back into his usual joking self, bringing as much normalcy to your more peaceful life as he can.

⊹ Kafka

At first, I think Kafka sees your scars/wounds and is kind of... uninterested? Or perhaps less uninterested and more just unconcerned.

Sure, there's questions and thoughts to be had, but everyone has their pasts—especially those among the Stellaron Hunters.

However, over time and with careful, calm observation, Kafka notices more about you.

She takes a special interest in you that she doesn't quite hold with her other fellow Stellaron Hunters.

How you apologize endlessly over small mistakes...

Or even how you flinched back when Silver Wolf of all people got angry and shouted at one of her video games.

I mean, Silver Wolf! The smallest of the Stellaron Hunters—outside of her abilities in manipulating the data of reality and hacking, she physically couldn't hurt a fly.

So, Kafka takes matters into her own hands.

She's pretty upfront, seeing no reason in beating around the bush.

She was content before in letting it slide as "everyone has their secrets", but she eventually develops something akin to concern for your situation.

"Darling, I just had a few small questions for you... Don't feel pressured to answer if you're not inclined."

The second half of her sentence shocked her a bit.

She has abilities relating to hypnotic suggestion—if there's something she wanted to hear or know, there's no reason she couldn't acquire it. And if there's something she wanted someone to listen to and obey, she could do it with no questions from the other party.

So really, it was awe-inspiring that she afforded you the luxury of choice here.

After hearing what happened to you, Kafka is not the type to go on a vengeance-path.

She knows the past is the past, and that you're with the Stellaron Hunters now, so your abuser is long gone from reach.

I think Kafka mostly focuses on comforting you in the moment.

Especially if you're partners, she'd be very inclined to give you a shoulder to lean on, a person to cry to.

Kafka may seem flippant, but she holds a deep-seated affection for you and she treats your trauma with the utmost respect and seriousness it deserves.

She'd definitely get more protective of you after hearing your past.

As long as it's not against Elio's script, she's accompanying you on any mission you need to attend to.

And, well, if someone happens to trigger any unpleasant memories, be it a stranger or otherwise...

They're taken care of. Quietly.

⊹ Jing Yuan

Jing Yuan, teddy bear of a man he is, is likely the most forthcoming of the three about any scars he sees on you.

He's the General and goes into battle so that you don't have to get scars like his, and yet, what are these past wounds he sees on you?

The man isn't an idiot, though. He knows the circumstances behind them are likely far from pleasant.

He also knows how to treat a matter with the delicateness it requires.

"My dear... May I ask about that wound on your arm?"

So, so gentle.

He's already got you in his arms before you can say a word, cradling you gently and soothing you before you can get the story out.

Listens to every single word you have to say, only breaking your continuous sentences to hush you now and then and calm you down

Doesn't matter how much work he has to do, Jing Yuan would stay with you for hours or days on end to make sure you were okay

He, like Kafka, is not the type to be overly vengeful or seeking of retribution against those who hurt you.

Rather, he's more of the mindset that the best revenge is a life well-lived, and that's exactly how he intends to get back at your abusers—by making your life as wonderful as he can.

That's not to say he won't do anything, though.

If your abusers were still alive or around, he'd definitely pull some strings.

Nothing violent, of course, but the abuser(s) lives aboard the Xianzhou Luofu would never be peaceful again if he knew who they were.

Jing Yuan is more focused on you and your recovery.

If you ever feel like hurting yourself, or the past comes back to haunt you, he's dropping everything for your sake.

He doesn't just treat you like glass or tiptoe around you, though.

He knows how strong you are to have made it through such experiences and still be alive—to a long-lived species, it's especially admirable that one could sustain themselves through such things

As such, Jing Yuan respects you greatly. And he demands the same from others.

Not that he didn't already, being that you're his partner or closest friend (however you'd like to interpret, but he is most certainly in love with you!)

He's just more conscious of his own actions henceforth.

Jing Yuan wasn't the type to raise his voice or get visibly upset with you even in moments of disagreement or conflict, but he's especially more gentle after hearing your past.

The man is literally a walking green flag, I don't know what else to tell you!

[writtenbymoonflower]

Pint

It's game day and one of your customers is a player (in two ways) - Jamie Tartt x fem!reader

cw: mentions of alcohol, the exact WRONG way to speak to service workers

755 words

“Thank you, come again soon.” You said for the fiftieth time that night as another red and blue clad patron left the pub, the little bell on the door causing a pavlovian jolt to go through your body. You glanced up at the clock, grimacing when you saw you still had an hour and a half of your shift left. Thankfully things were quieting down for the night, only a few of your regular dawdlers slumping drunkenly in their chairs. You wiped your spirit-soaked hands on your apron and went back to cleaning glasses. There was some cooking show playing low on the television that no one was paying attention to. No one paid attention to the telly unless there was a game on, and the Richmond game ended hours ago. 

When the door opened again, the drunk stragglers let out half-delirious cheers.

“Welcome.” You said, without looking up. The person sat in the chair right in front of you. “What can I get for you?” 

“Pint of Guinness, please.” You still didn’t look up at the man as you poured, careful to not get beer down the side as you filled it right to the brim. You felt bad for your lack of charisma, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to be peppy. The pub had been packed full of rowdy customers, as it always is on game days, but when one of the players made an apparently ‘impossible shot’ everyone decided that called for three rounds of shots per person. Your feet were aching from walking all day and you were sure you would never get the scent of spilled vanilla vodka out of your work trousers. 

Only when you set the glass down did you finally look up at the patron, and you were suddenly far more embarrassed about how uninterested you must have seemed. You weren’t a football fan, but almost everyone in Richmond would recognize that megawatt smile from a mile away. You spilled a bit as the glass hit the table. 

“Shit, sorry.” You winced, moving to grab napkins (and recompose yourself).

“You’re grand, love. I tend to have that effect on people.” He smirked. You rolled your eyes. Jamie Tartt was known for two things. One was being an amazing footballer, the second was being a shameless flirt. Despite this knowledge, your cheeks still flamed.

“Congrats on the win today.” You knew your smile was awkward, but you tried your hardest. He rewarded you with a dizzying grin.

“Ah, thanks. It was a prick move, but worth it.” He smirked. You pretended to know what he was referencing, nodding half-heartedly. You didn’t actually watch the game. He dug around in his pocket before setting a heap of coins on the bar top. “Six quid, right?” 

“It’s on me.” You waved him off. It was the least you could do for your lack of hospitality, especially after his win. 

“Love, if I got free handouts every time I got my team a win, I wouldn't be payin' for anything." He winked. You still didn't take the coins. He sighed "Take it as a tip, then.” He shoved the coins toward you. You looked at him incredulous. 

“You can’t seriously be trying to give me a six quid tip.” 

It should be criminal for someone to look that self-satisfied and that endearing at once. He narrowed his brown eyes at you, challenging. “Who says I can’t?” 

“Common sense.” You suggested, turning your back to him. If you looked at his stupidly attractive face any longer you would be sick. 

“Fair but... I did win today.” He argued. You could hear the smirk in his voice, only made more dizzying by his thick mancunian accent. “Don’t I get a prize?” You turned back around to give him a deadpan ‘are you serious’ look. 

“I hardly think paying for your own drink counts as a prize.” You decided to not bring up how the free drink would be his prize and wiped at a nonexistent spill. 

“I could buy you a drink then? Have it with me when you get off?” His eyes raked down your form shamelessly. Your head spun, but you pretended to be unaffected by his coquetry. 

“Why not.” You were sure he wouldn’t stick around that long anyway. He smiled, more genuine this time. 

“I’ll be here.” He took a sip of his drink. “If it goes my way, you'll get off twice tonight." He winked.

You almost dropped the glass you were cleaning. 

[octuscle]

Hi Chronivac or Suitcase people! I'm looking for a change in my life like working with my body rather than with my brain, living in the north rather than in the south, being poor but happy rather than wealthy and unhappy, being a player rather than the relationship-guy and so on. I hope for your help

Dude, seriously, if you're going to do it, do it! Why only half the cake? Why not work with your awesome body, live on the beach in the south, be rich and happy and take everything that comes along? Somehow that sounds much better… At least for me… I have another suitcase for you, labeled MVD. Filled with everything you need for a basic jet-set influencer beach vacation. Beachwear from Vilebrequin, sportswear from Balenciaga, a little something for the evening from Prada and co. And a hotel voucher for The Grand Hotel in Punta del Este. Just for the weekend. After that, it's off to Buenos Aires for you and then you'll have to see…

Shit, the brand new iPhone alone, which you're holding in your freshly manicured hands, costs more than you've paid in rent for your miserable apartment in six months. You don't even want to know what the entire contents of this suitcase cost. But how do you get to this Punta del Este now? And where is it anyway? You look at your new cell phone. Your tickets are in the wallet. First to Madrid, and then on to Montevideo. Premium Economy. Sounds great, you've never had that before. Should you put something on straight from your suitcase? Better not. You should take it easy on your clothes. But maybe one of those T-shirts from Balenciaga. A quick look in the mirror… Okay, better not, maybe a little tight around the hips. You're not changing.

When you check in your suitcase, the ground staff lady flirts with you. She asks why you've joined the queue with all the tourists. As an Emerald customer with oneworld, you should have been allowed to use the first class check-in. She asks if she can upgrade you to Business Class as compensation. You don't say no.

You can get used to the lounge. It's better than waiting outside in the aisles. The toilets are also better. And when you look in the mirror, you think that they must be playing tricks with the light. You look younger and more relaxed. And were you wearing that immaculate white shirt just now? Somehow the champagne seems to be going to your head. You almost missed the boarding call.

The lounge was cool, but flying in Business Class is really awesome! There aren't many passengers up here. But somehow you get the impression that everyone is just looking after you. Like a real VIP. You take a selfie of yourself and the purser. Later for Instagram. The Iberia logo well placed. You have to show your appreciation somehow. In Madrid, you send the two pictures out. The second one with the pilot. He says it was an honor to fly you. They're getting a bit carried away… They're making fun of you!

When you go through passport control at the terminal change, you first think you've put the wrong passport in your pocket. Cool picture! But it doesn't look like you. You check it out as best you can in the reflection of a window pane. Yes, the angular features, the piercing blue eyes… It all fits.

It's getting better and better. Instead of your connecting flight being called for boarding, a member of ground staff comes by in the lounge, takes your bag and accompanies you to the gate. You're already in the mood for a glass of champagne. But alcohol is only compatible with your six-pack to a limited extent. Besides, it's already late and you should get some sleep. You have more than enough room. So apply your night cream, put on your sleep pods and put on your sleeping goggles. And when you wake up rested after almost nine hours, you hear the first signs that the breakfast service is about to start. You hear the flight attendants gossiping. One of them says that you looked like Cupid while you were sleeping and that you could shoot him with your arrows. They obviously have no idea that you speak Spanish. You let them believe that you don't understand them.

Actually, you would have liked to have taken a closer look at Montevideo. But you don't have time for that. The season in Punta del Este is as good as over, so if you want to boost your mid-season business, you need a few pictures of the sunset. And you get paid quite well for boosting the mid-season business a little.

It's actually a bit too cold at the end of March for topless shots. But your nipples look even better this way. "End of a hot day, beginning of a hot night at the most beautiful end of the world" you write under the picture. 3K likes in half an hour. You are worth your money!

[alicentsgf]

Let's talk in depth about book Alicent. because even though i read the book 3 years ago I didn't engage online about it until the show's release and um. wow. some people have a very different interpretation of her to me. and also... some of those interpretations show a fundamental misunderstanding of the text, a tendency toward indulging the misogyny present in Fire and Blood, or both.

People are saying the writers changed Alicent's story to 'make her a victim'... they didn't. It was always possible to read the book and perceive that she was in many ways a victim. Honestly the biggest thing they changed was her age, probably to assist the interpretation they'd chosen, but the larger elements all stay the same; in both versions she's worked in service of the crown since she was young (as a type of companion either to Jaehaerys or Rhaenyra) and she and Rhaenyra initially have a good relationship (according to one source in F&B - this supposedly changes when Aegon was born and not named heir). So making it Rhaenyra we see her close with just makes the emotional tethers that might have been there anyway more visible. After all, Rhaenyra Does spare Alicent's life in F&B, and whilst she says it's for Viserys sake, Alicent at that point had been at the very least complicit in the deaths of most of Rhaenyra's children. Rhaenyra having such a strong former bond with Alicent is going to give this event in the show a lot more weight. It's not hard to see why they made this change, because it adds to the existing tragedy of the story.

The fact is everything we see of Alicent in F&B is up for debate to some extent. Like, for example, did she seduce Viserys? of course certain sources tell us yes, but Fire and Blood is brimming with asoiaf-typical misogyny; it all reminds me somewhat of the story of Anne Boleyn, her story molded into something unrecognisable by history in order to make her the instigator. In truth, we have no way of knowing if Alicent wanted Viserys or not, but we do know she probably didn't have to seduce him. She was widely regarded as being the most beautiful woman - it wouldn't have taken a lot for Viserys to notice her. People, characters and readers alike, assume that because she wasn't the best political match he must have been persuaded, but Viserys was a selfish man, (that is indisputable, we see it in many of his provable actions), so it fits with his character to choose a slightly unsuitable wife on the basis of his own lust. The age gap in the show only serves to demonstrate visually the power imbalance that was at least somewhat present in the book anyway. And yes, this like most things in the book is up for interpretation, but I will say this: I seriously do not respect people calling her 'evil'.

The text never presents Alicent as evil. Even in the worst of her actions she is never legitimately shown to revel in the pain and suffering of others. At most you could argue she was ambitious, but I don't even believe that on the basis of one specific thing: it was her, not Otto, who asked Viserys to betroth Aegon to Rhaenyra. This was not a crazy suggestion in the book, as it was presented in the show; they were only a decade apart, and it was the Valyrian custom that the eldest son would marry his eldest sister, as Aegon the conqueror married Visenya. Alicent wanted this without stipulating the expectation that Aegon would rule instead of Rhaenyra. Viserys reportedly dismissed Alicent on the basis of believing she only wanted Aegon a step closer to the throne, and it can be read that way, but personally I don't think so. I think she was exhausting options to try to protect him after she realised Viserys was never going to name him heir.

Ultimately, Alicent would have been stupid to ignore that her children's lives were at stake. Especially in Fire and Blood where she was much less familiar with Rhaenyra. Nothing in Rhaenyra's actions suggested she wouldn't be capable. She reportedly had no affection for her brothers where she was kid enough to Helaena, suggesting she already saw them as threats. She had demonstrated herself willing to accept physical harm to them in favour of her own sons. She was later thought to be at least complicit in the death of her husband Laenor, who had by all accounts been a good, kind husband to her… and then she married Daemon. Even before this he had been an obvious threat to Alicent's children; a violent man who'd always lusted after power, with a known hatred for Hightowers and who'd never been kind to his nephews by Alicent. Even if Alicent didn't believe Rhaenyra capable of murdering her sons, she would have been stupid not to believe Daemon able.

The truth is even in the book this crisis was set in motion by Viserys. Once he'd refused to marry Aegon to Rhaenyra the bomb was built and ticking away, it was only a matter of time. Even if Rhaenyra's heirs had been indisputably trueborn, Aegon and his brothers and any descendants they had would have been symbols for those who wanted to oppose the Crown to rally behind as soon as Rhaenyra or Jacaerys disappointed them, no matter if Alicent's sons had personally bent the knee. The situation only became more dire when it was clear that Rhaenyra's heir was not trueborn.

Fire and Blood isn't even really quiet about Rhaenyra's first three sons being bastards. To me it read like Rhaenys' Baratheon blood allowed those who wanted to believe otherwise to delude themselves, as Viserys does in both versions. After all, in the book Laenor being gay is an open secret. But the thing is… it doesn't even really matter if they were or not. With so many people believing they were bastards, they were pretty much as good as. Eventually, and most definitely after Rhaenyra's death, there would have been some form of conflict. Because if Jace, an assumed bastard, ascended the throne it would throw into question the claims of almost every lord in Westeros, many of whom would have older bastard brothers. and if a bastard who didn't even look targaryen could sit the highest seat in the realm over a trueborn silver-haired son of a king like Aegon, what's to stop the bastard brothers of any lord from laying claim to their seat? Aegon would have become a rallying point for that dispute whether he liked it or not, and Jace would have been forced to dispose of him if he wanted to maintain power.

In light of this, it's really no wonder Alicent repeatedly voices her animosity over Rhaenyra's sons questionable births. It's very telling that in F&B every cruel comment she reportedly makes about or to Rhaenyra references it. and I say "reportedly" because one of the worst of her quotes, her saying 'mayhaps the whore will die in childbirth' about Rhaenyra, people quote as fact… if you do this I will laugh in your face and ask if you read the book. because Alicent did not say that. or rather, if she did, Fire and Blood would not be able to tell us either way because the quote is attributed to her by Mushroom, one of Rhaenyra's supporters who (apart from being a famed liar) was with Rhaenyra on Dragonstone at the time.

The other two quotes used to argue her supposed evilness are from slightly less questionable sources, and honestly, yeah, it does seem likely to me Alicent implied to Rhaenyra her bastard sons' blood was worth less than that of her own trueborn sons'… but at that point, with the horror she'd experienced on account of Viserys upholding Rhaenyra and her sons' questionable claims, her reacting in this way is perhaps cruel and prejudiced, but not evil. And almost justifiably cruel in my opinon; for all she knows the woman she's talking to directly ordered for her six-year-old grandson to be brutally murdered in front of her, her daughter, and her other grandchildren, directly leading to her daughter's madness and later suicide. Was she going to be respectful? Is it fair to expect that from her? This focus on the term 'bastard blood' overshadows the rest of the quote: “Bastard blood shed at war. My son’s sons were innocent boys, cruelly murdered. How many more must die to slake your thirst for vengeance?” Why is Alicent being a bit of a bitch treated as a worse sin than Rhaenyra ordering the brutal murder of a toddler, or at the very least excusing it.

The last quote mentioned to back up claims of alicent's 'evilness' is her telling her granddaughter Jaehaera she should slit the throat of her husband Aegon III in his sleep. By this point it seemed to me Alicent was no doubt consumed by bitterness and would have attacked Aegon herself given the chance, but even without condoning her words or actions we can see how she became like that; all of Alicent's sons are dead and she wants all of Rhaenyra's gone too. Wasn't it "an eye for an eye, a son for a son"? - Rhaenyra's side set the precedent - the idea that it is justifiable to take one innocent life in exchange for another, no matter if its the life of a child who just happens to have been born on the other side of a war.

Alicent by the end of her life had certainly been driven to cruelty in her grief, twisted into something ugly by the world and locked away to rot.

And yet her final words weren't steeped in bitterness or violence. When the fever sets in she accepts death, even welcomes it. She speaks of seeing her children again, and King Jaehaerys. So doesn't that say she was never driven by hatred at all? That there was never any kind of innate evil nature? At least that's my interpretation. This is the same girl who spent her youth reading to a dying king for no clear reward, and felt such affection for him that she mentioned him at the end of her own life, perhaps pining for the time before her marriage. (No doubt in the show she will mention Rhaenyra instead). This is the woman whose daughter and grandchildren visited her with such reliable frequency her grandson's killers knew to wait in her rooms for them.

So what was so evil about her? That she quite understandably saw Rhaenyra and her sons as a threat, and preemptively acted to protect her own? As much as people like to project ideologies onto these characters, neither Alicent nor Rhaenyra's motivations were ideological, that much as clear.

I may have many reservations about House of the Dragon's execution of it, but the decision to present Alicent as a victim of the world she inhabits was not only the right choice, but also kind of the only choice. HotD is presented as objective truth, where F&B is a collection of biased accounts dripping in the misogyny of the men relating them, and so HotD had to be a critique of its own source material. I admit to having my own bias, and my analysis is at least slightly skewed in Alicent's favour because I'm responding to the most negative interpretations of her. And they are all just interpretations. But in my opinion, those adapting the text looked at Alicent and asked "what if this woman is misunderstood?", "what if this woman had no real choice?", "what if the men of this world just chose to ignore her complexity, because she was a woman?" and those were absoutely the questions to ask.

[bamboobooshark]

BASIL STITT X READER

𓍢 ⌨️˖࣪ ∿ ࿔ LESS THAN THREE (1) : 807 WRDS

A/N : Yes this is inspired by the song Less Than Three by Disko Warp, no I don’t care that it doesn’t fit Basil’s canon personality! !!Warning: Obsessive behavior (nothing intense, just clingy and overthinking about you), mentions of knives, mentions of death (assumptions)!!

Basil is freaking the fuck out.

You haven’t answered him for an hour. An entire hour. You always let him know ahead of time if you have something to do at work that’ll cause you to be unable to respond to his messages. Now that you weren’t saying anything without any warning, he can’t stop himself from worrying. What if you’re hurt? What if there’s some guy talking to you? Does he have competition? Are you going to go out with that guy and not be able to message him once you’re home? Fuck, this can’t be happening.

He can’t keep himself calm. He never can. His hands start to shake. His face grows hot and begins to throb with a headache. His breath is erratic, like a feral animal’s. “No. No. No! Answer me! Please! I need you,” Basil whines at his bright computer screen. His eyes are glued to your activity status, patiently awaiting a green circle to appear near your icon. His nails painfully dig against the table in expectation and concern. After sitting there impatiently for a few minutes and not getting anything, he begins to flare up with nothing but worry for you. “I said answer! Talk to me! I need to make sure you’re okay, baby. It’s all I need. It’s the only thing I need. Just come online! Please,” he continues as tears prick his eyes.

 

You are stuck at the register today. Unfortunately for you, you’re currently dealing with one of the worst customers of your life. She slams her fist against the counter, which causes you to jump a bit, but nothing more. “I am not leaving this horrid establishment until I can speak to a manager,” she childishly demands. Your jaw is clenching arguably harder than her own. You try your hardest to speak in your customer service voice to stay calm and not lose your job. “Ma’am, I told you that all of my higher ups are in a meeting right now. Unless you’re willing to wait anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour, I suggest you come back tomorrow,” you explain for the third time in a row.

“Are you dumb? Like, seriously,” she retorts while giving you an ugly look. You swear you see the light of the afterlife once you hear a faint beeping. Your shift is over. You display a genuine smile toward the woman, showing how relieved you are to get away from her. “Oh! I’m so sorry, miss. You’ll have to speak to one of my co-workers. My shift has just ended, and I don’t work overtime,” you beam as she begins to growl gibberish out of pure rage.

Thankfully, your co-worker Bec is clocking in for the rest of the night. He is a godsend. The manager has known him so long that his actions have no backlash; he treats customers as they treat him. You know damn well he’s going to have a blast with the lady at the counter. You walk over to him and tap his arm lightly. “Hey, Bec! I just wanted to let you know there’s some girl who can’t seem to grasp the fact that our higher-ups are in a meeting right now. She’s tried everything in the book to talk to the manager or anyone who doesn’t work in our position,” you explain with a slightly anxious tone. Bec smiles softly at you and shrugs. “Kid, you know me. You know how I act. That lady is about to get everything she deserves,” he reassures you while patting your back. “Have a good night,” he adds as you start walking away. “Good luck with yours!” you chuckle as you leave the establishment.

 

“They have to be dead. That’s the only logical explanation for this. Oh, my god. They’re dead,” Basil cries. He’s been distraught for the past two hours without a message for you. He isn’t tracking you. He isn’t stalking you. He has no way to know where you are or what you’re doing, but his mind always fleets to the worst-case scenario when you leave him be. His tears make his vision blurry, but he can still see the shiny surface of the knife he had stuck in his desk. He might as well trash his flat again! This is the second major incident this month, and he can’t mentally bear it. “Fuck this! Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it,” he growls as he reaches for the knife still stuck to the table. He’s more than ready to further splinter the tabletop’s wood once more. He can feel his heart stop for a moment as he hears the sweet sound of a ping from his computer. “They aren’t dead,” he mumbles to himself. “They aren’t dead,” he repeats with a level of excitement he hasn’t felt in so, so long.

[dawnisatotalqueen]

you would bet on it? // min ho x reader

character: min ho

show: xo kitty

tags: frenemies to lovers, gender neutral reader, work place romance

warnings: maybe ooc?? i don't think so but yk, cursing, might have done some heavy self inserting oops

Kitty peaked around a corner, her head darting right and left before she proceeded down an alleyway.

It was just her luck that three boys were standing at a nearby building when they saw her sneaking around. Min ho raised a brow. “What on Earth is she doing?” His words caught Q and Dae’s attention, and they both turned around to watch.

“Maybe she’s just.. Meeting someone?” Dae chuckled nervously, trying to think of a perfectly logical and ethical reason Kitty was sneaking through an alleyway.

Min ho raised a brow. “Or buying drugs. We should follow her.”

Q shook his head, snickering lightly. “You just wanna follow her because you’re nosy.”

Min ho raised his hands in defense. “Sue me– Now let’s go.” He pivoted, going down the same alleway Kitty went down. Dae and Q shared a look before following him.

Kitty walked along for a while, much to two of the boys’ relief, exiting the alley after a short time and heading a way that was much more normal. She was acting oddly suspicious, though.

After some time, she arrived in front of…

A restaurant?

The three boys looked at each other with confused faces before continuing to the entrance.

Kitty walked inside, waiting up at the host stand for a second before you approached her with a grin. “Kitty! Good to see you, you can–” You paused immediately when spotting a very, very amused Min ho.

“You work at a restaurant, seriously?” He chuckled, raising a brow down at you.

Kitty whipped her head around, “Wh��� Did you– You followed me?!”

Q and Dae quickly went in upon the realization that Min ho had blown their cover, Dae walking to the other side of Kitty. “We were just worried– You were acting really suspiciously–”

“We thought you could’ve been buying drugs.” Min ho grinned.

Kitty gawked at him. “What– That’s so stupid–”

You cleared your throat, crossing your arms. “What the hell are you guys doing here–” Before you could properly question the boys, you spotted your manager walking over. You blew out an irritated breath before putting on a fake smile. “How many in your party tonight?”

Min ho was loving this way too much. “Oh, just the four of us.” You so desperately wanted to wipe the smug look off of his face, but alas… You did value your job.

“Great!” You spoke through clenched teeth, grabbing four menus from behind you. “You can follow me right this way.” You took them to a section belonging to a server who had just arrived, so it was completely empty. After they sat down and you advertised your company’s rewards system with very red cheeks, your manager finally stopped watching you. Immediately upon their eyes being taken off of you, you exploded. “What the hell are you guys doing here?!”

“Kitty was acting weird. We swear we didn’t know she was coming here.” Q explained, chuckling nervously. He didn’t particularly like the idea of two of his best friends being upset with him over one of Min ho’s dumb ideas.

Min ho leaned back in his seat. “And I’m glad we did. Otherwise, we never would’ve learned of this little secret.” He motioned to your uniform, which caused your cheeks to go redder.

“Well, I’m sorry but not all of us can go through life completely supported by our ‘Mummy’s’.” You mimicked his accent toward the end, huffing. “Some of us actually have to support ourselves.”

Min ho rolled his eyes. “Right, like it’s so hard.”

You gawked at him. “Min ho, you would not survive a customer service job. Honestly, I would bet on it.”

This intrigued him, and he quickly leaned forward in his seat, turning to face you. “Oh, you would bet on it? Really?”

“Mhm. You would not survive in the restaurant industry.”

Min ho hummed. “Well, if you’re so confident, then let’s bet.”

“Fine. If I win?”

“I’ll do anything you ask of me. No objections.”

“Hm.. Okay. And if you win?”

“Same thing. Whatever I ask of you. Zero objections.”

Though you didn’t like the idea of Min ho being able to hold something over your head, you were confident enough that you felt comfortable despite the stakes. After a moment, you spoke. “Fine. Deal.”

Min ho grinned. “Deal. I’m looking forward to winning this bet.”

“In your dreams.” You rolled your eyes at him, backing away to finally allow the server to do their job. On your way out of the section, you caught Kitty who mouthed a “Sorry”. You shook your head, waving your hand at her in dismissal. Really, Kitty had done you a favor. Now you had the chance to one up Min ho.

After further discussion over text, you spoke to your manager about a friend who wanted to come in for an interview. Lucky for you, your shop was severely understaffed due to a mass of server’s quitting, so the manager didn’t hesitate to hire Min ho.

His first day was an absolute wreck.

He spilled a salsa bowl on him, which to anyone else would be a mere inconvenience, but to Min ho, it was the end of the world.

“I just bought these pants!! They're designer!!"

You shrugged. “It’s your own fault. Maybe you shouldn’t be so clumsy.” You were admittedly being hypocritical as you had broken and spilled your fair share of things on especially busy nights where you had to help.

“I hate you.”

You grew very familiar with those 3 words the more you worked with Min ho. His first few weeks, he let everything get to him. The customers, the messes, the way he smelled after work. Restaurant smell. You’d grown accustomed to it, so you hadn’t even considered that to be something that would’ve bothered him.

Much to your surprise though, he was very good at the customer service aspect. In some ways, it made sense. He had a way with acting charming, and he was fluent in Korean, which helped with the locals. He also only kept his complaints to when the two of you would be walking to the dorms together once you got off.

The thing that surprised you most, though, was how much you enjoyed spending time with him. You were used to server’s coming up and talking to you on slower days, the host stand often being a hangout place. You assumed Min ho picked up on it as he had suddenly begun hanging around there, too, when his section was deserted.

He waited for you after work. Even when he had been cut and could’ve gone home earlier. He excused it that you shouldn’t be walking alone at night. You didn’t really care about his motives, but you appreciated it. It was a nice gesture.

After 2 months, he still didn’t quit. You were beginning to worry he’d want to cash in his prize for the bet since it seemed like he had no intentions of losing. What would he make you do? The options were endless. You still had a slight hope that you could win but…

At the same time, you didn’t. You liked working with him more than you thought you would, it would be a little disappointing if he quit.

One night, though, his unwillingness to quit was really proven.

He had scheduled a date a few weeks in advance with some famous girl or something, you weren’t sure. But, he had also forgotten that he had a shift that same night.

He was up by the host stand, talking with you when he felt his phone buzz. He looked around to ensure your manager wasn’t near before he picked up.

“Hello?” After a few seconds his eyes widened. “That was tonight? Oh– I’m so sorry I must’ve forgotten, I–” He was cut off and a few more seconds passed where you heard muffled speaking through the phone. “I’m at work. Wait– Oh.” He said your restaurant’s address before he was hung up on. He blinked for a moment before putting his phone away.

You raised a brow. “What was that?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “I forgot I had a date tonight.”

“Oh. Well, if you need I’m sure one of the other servers could cover for you, I mean, even I can–”

“No!” You paused, blinking up at him. He shook his head. “No. What if we get busy? The dinner rush hasn’t even come in yet! I can’t desert you like that.”

You felt a blush creeping up your neck. He couldn’t desert you like that?

Before you could question his wording, a very pretty girl walked up to the two of you, clearing her throat. “Min ho, are you ready to go?”

The girl rolled her eyes, pulling out a small mirror and lip gloss. “Yeah, and? You don’t need a job, Min ho. We can just leave. It doesn’t matter.”

Min ho looked over. “What? I told you I was at work–”

He shook his head. “But it does. It’s a responsibility.”

The girl glanced at him before putting away her things, grinning. “Responsibility? When did you get so mature? It’s hot.. But seriously. Let’s go.”

Min ho groaned, a hand going over his face. “I already said–”

Before you could stop yourself, the words were already leaving your mouth. “I think he already said he wasn’t going.”

The girl looked at you, scoffing. “And you are?”

Min ho stepped in front of you, crossing his arms. “They’re my coworker and friend. Plus, they’re right. I told you I couldn’t go already.”

The girl clenched her fists before putting her hands on her hips. She stared at the two of you for a second before huffing. “Fine. Fine! I’ll leave. But I’m texting you later to reschedule.” She glared at you, then turned around, heading back out.

You looked between him and her figure, which disappeared into a car.

There’s one thing she said that you agreed with.

This new maturity was hot.

A few hours later, the two of you were walking back to the dorms together. You sighed dramatically. “Y’know what– Fine. Fine!”

He raised a brow. “What are you on about?”

“Fine, you win.” You stopped walking. “You win the bet.”

He stared at you for a second before his brows raised. “Oh. Right. That.”

“Don’t tell me you forgot.”

He shrugged, his hands going to his pockets. “I guess I did. But, hey. I told you I could do it.” His nonchalant expression turned into a grin.

You rolled your eyes. “Well..”

“Well?”

“What do you want? I agreed to do anything you wanted. No objections.”

He thought to himself for a second. “Hm… I’ll need to think on it.” He kept walking.

You gawked at him, whining and following him. “Min ho– That’s not fair! Now I’m gonna have to walk on eggshells!”

“Ooh well.”

The two of you continued your walk, and you continued to pester him to no avail. By the time you got home, Kitty had retreated to her room, so you went to yours. You got ready for bed, flopping down with a hum. You grabbed your phone off your bedside table when you saw a text from Min ho.

min ho: okay, i’ve made up my mind.

min ho: i want..

Min ho: a date.

Min ho: this friday. i’ll pick you up at 6.

Wait.

WHAT?!

[brightowldarkpigeon]

James Somerton Apology 2.0

Someone on Reddit asked what a genuine apology from Somerton would look like, and I outlined it there. I thought I'd share my post here in case it helps any others who are trying to understand what a sincere apology looks like!

(To be clear, I think that in general matters that are not as severe as James's, hoping to recover your career or asking for forgiveness are perfectly fine. For James, his betrayal was strong and defrauded so many people financially, that there is no way to make restitution without a years-long break from making content).

If he wanted to make a genuine apology, it would have to be done without any expectation of the recovery of his career. It would have to be very much the last thing he'd say on the matter, the only video on his channel, and demonetized. He would need to make the apology, then leave for at least a year, if not longer.

Then he would need to follow the standard five steps of apology:

1. Expression of regret

He'd have to say, "I am genuinely sorry for plagiarizing the work of others and taking great pains to obfuscate that fact." He would say, "I'm sorry that I told lies in my videos and did the bare minimum to create as much content and wealth as possible in as short a time as possible." He would also say, "I am sorry for the misogyny and anti-trans bias that I perpetuated both with my words on this channel and my actions toward other creators."

2. Acknowledgment of responsibility

This is essentially to say how it hurt the other person. "I am aware of the enormous harm that I caused to both the queer creators that I stole from and the viewers I deceived. My misogyny and transphobia have harmed not only the women and nonbinary people I offended, but also all other white cis gay men who do not want to carry on this legacy of upholding patriarchal sexism." I'd like him to make this the longest portion of the video, showing how plagiarism, deception, and misogyny cause real, tangible harm, and how his actions were wrong.

(It would be extra nice if he could take real responsibility and say, "I did all these things because I was greedy and lazy, and because I have not done the work to dismantle my own biases against women and trans people.)

3. Making Restitution

Here's where he says he's going to

a) PAY BACK HIS PATRONS. Seriously. That would be such a start. I understand that he needs money to survive, and it might take a long time to get back to that level of income, but he deceived both his patreon patrons and the backers of his Talos project.

b) Publish the names and works of every author he stole from.

c) Create a queer youtuber fund or something like that.

4. Genuinely promising change

He will need to GET. OFF. YOUTUBE. STOP. MAKING. CONTENT. It's time for him to find a new job, even with his fucking epilepsy, he's a decent video editor with a large portfolio and he absolutely could get work doing video editing from the bazillion people who have never heard of him. (They do exist!)

Or get literally any other WFH job. Do customer service if you have to. Take a break from being a star.

And of course say, "I do not think I will ever make original content again since I've lost the trust of this community, but if in a few years, I do try again, I will devote my time to properly crediting and uplifting other queer creators.

5. Requesting forgiveness

No. Don't do this. It's beyond forgiveness right now. Once james has SHOWN he's changed by educating himself and taking some time away from youtube, and DOING ALL THE RESTITUTION HE PROMISED, then he can ask for forgiveness.

Hope that helps.

[hairstevington]

flowers and ink (final part)

Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Summary: Eddie and Steve are happy. Chrissy and Robin are happy. Jonathan meets Argyle. Everyone is happy!

Part one, part two, part three, part four part five part six part seven part eight link to Ao3

Word Count: 1100

Warnings: So sweet you'll get a cavity tbh, Jargyle (because why not), they are idiots one last time, also more Gareth!

Author's Note: Awww, it was emotional to close this one out! Thank you to all who have read and followed along. I can't believe this was only going to be 2 parts at first. I am a FOOL with Steddie brainrot. Until next time!!

Steve wasn’t sure what he was expecting when Eddie said he’d gotten him a gift, but it sure as shit wasn’t this. 

“Oh, my god,” Steve said, holding it up to see it in all its glory. A t-shirt with words printed over a rainbow across the chest: Steve & Robin - Not dating, just gay and codependent. 

“Obviously, I have one for Robin too,” Eddie said, tossing Steve a second shirt. 

“Oh, my God!” Steve repeated, laughing this time. It was perfect and so incredibly weird. He couldn’t wait to model them with his best friend and take the most ridiculous not-couple pictures of all time. “This is - I mean, Jesus! I love it, but would you let me be the impressive one for once?”

Eddie looked Steve up and down, then smirked. 

“With those abs? Don’t worry, you’re still the impressive one here.” Steve blushed, then sat up in bed so he could put the shirt on, but Eddie stopped him. “Woaaaah there, what are you doing? You can’t cover up, I’m enjoying the view.” Steve rolled his eyes.

“You’re not going to let me use the gift you got me?”

“Not yet,” Eddie replied. “I’m actually kind of regretting the whole thing now. You should probably never wear a shirt ever again. Can I have it back actually?” Steve chuckled, then smacked Eddie playfully on the arm.

“No way.”

“Steve, you wound me," Eddie joked. "But fine, as you wish."

Eddie and Steve had been official for 2 months at this point, and everything was kind of perfect. They each continued to work their respective jobs, and with their added happiness came enhanced customer service. 

Bob was happy - both for Eddie’s shift in demeanor as well as for the business. They were doing great! Plus, he got bonus points as a step-dad for introducing Will to Eddie and the shop. Will came to visit a few more times, and this time he got to talk to Steve, too. It was clear that seeing a happy gay couple was important for Will. He hadn’t seen much of that in his small town, so seeing Eddie and Steve be so grossly into each other was refreshing. 

And gross.

But mostly refreshing!

One day, Will’s older brother dropped Will off at the shop, introducing yet another cool person into the friend group - Jonathan. By then, Eddie had succeeded in making Argyle his friend, and the two of them spent many nights smoking and watching those stupid stoner comedies together in Argyle’s weird, confusingly giant house that he somehow lived in. 

Seriously, how did the guy have a house like that already? How did he have the money to travel so much with Chrissy? Her show was good and all, but it couldn’t possibly be getting her that much income. 

In any case, Argyle and Eddie were buds, so Argyle also happened to be around when Jonathan walked into Ink About It. 

The bromance between Jonathan and Argyle was pretty much immediate. Eddie would have felt mildly jealous about it if he hadn’t noticed some very familiar (aka queer) vibes between the two. Perhaps Will wasn’t the only Byers grappling with their identity, that's all Eddie was saying - but it was just speculation. Eddie kept his mouth shut (except to Steve, obviously, who fully agreed). In due time, as with anything else. 

So then they all hung out - Chrissy, Jonathan, Argyle, Steve, Eddie, and Robin. They’d formed quite the friend group - all of them getting along with each other beautifully. Argyle even hosted a road trip with the squad in his giant pizza van (???) so that they could all surprise Gareth at a Corroded Coffin show.

That night was epic, and it finally cemented Robin and Chrissy as girlfriends.

After their date, they’d both been super into each other - undeniably so. Yet, because Chrissy was so often moving around, they’d decided it was best to just stay friends. 

Yeah. Eddie and Steve knew that wouldn’t last very long. 

It still lasted longer than it should have, and the pining was rampant. Every time they all hung out, the two women wouldn’t stop staring at each other, cracking jokes, and giving everyone else in the room ample opportunities to share knowing glances…

And then they went on the road trip, and they got super drunk, and Robin tended to speak a lot more freely when she was intoxicated. 

She professed her love to Chrissy on the dance floor. 

It was a bold move, but it paid off. Chrissy and Argyle extended their stay in Hawkins, and Robin and Chrissy became an official couple. 

Coincidentally, that night was also pretty huge for Eddie and Steve. Firstly, because Chrissy and Robin had dropped the “I love you’s” before they had, which felt kind of ridiculous, considering Eddie and Steve obviously loved each other. 

“The fucking lesbians stole my thunder!” Eddie yelled from the bar, watching Robin and Chrissy hug each other on the dance floor.

“What are you talking about?” Steve asked, amused at his boyfriend’s antics.

“Ladies and Gentleman!”

Gareth’s voice boomed from the stage. The band had taken a quick break, but were back on. Eddie grinned, then grabbed Steve’s hand.

“Come on,” he said. “Let’s get closer.” They wandered through the crowd (past Chrissy and Robin) as Gareth continued. 

“We’ve got a surprise for you all. You see, my boy Eddie Munson requested we play a special song tonight. So, this one’s for you, Flower Boy. Lord knows we wouldn’t play this for anyone else.”

Before Steve could even process what was happening, the band began to play. It wasn’t metal, it was -

“I Melt With You,” Steve said once he recognized it. “I love this song.”

“Iiiiii know!” Eddie responded, laughing. He pulled Steve into him so they could swing along to the music. “This was my whole master plan. Was gonna have them play this and tell you I loved you and it was going to be this whole beautiful moment but then Robin-”

“Eddie,” Steve interrupted, laughing. Eddie’s jaw dropped, and then he facepalmed. 

“Oh my god I totally just said it without meaning to,” he said. “I’ve been holding out for WEEKS and -”

“You’ve loved me for weeks?” Steve asked, touched. 

“Well, yeah,” Eddie replied. “Duh.” His eyes bugged out on that last word, his voice taking on a goofy, boyish cadence. Steve smiled.

“You’re so ridiculous,” he said, shaking his head. “And I love you too.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asked, grinning.

“Duh,” Steve replied, attempting to mimic Eddie’s response from before. “Robin didn’t ruin your big plan, by the way. That was all you.” Eddie chuckled.

“You still love me though,” he said. Steve nodded, and then they were kissing. 

I’ll stop the world and melt with you.

Yeah. That song pretty much said it all.

Everything felt just right🌹

-------------------

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[oneatlatime]

The Great Divide

Is this episode as bad as people say?

It starts pretty at least.

Would Little Miss Steals From Pirates really be a stickler for camping etiquette? Also, I have to agree with Sokka on this one. If you're lucky enough to live somewhere with such predictable precipitation that you can name your seasons after it, hell yeah don't prepare for off-season weather unnecessarily. Imagine the freedom that comes with not having to carry an umbrella everywhere.

Something that's occured to me is that Katara is always slapping Sokka around (usually for a comedy bit) but Sokka never gets to slap her back. We're like three minutes into this episode and Katara's already thrown sticks at Sokka twice. It's about time Sokka throws some back. There's probably some cartoon violence rule that says violence is only ok when it's gendered the one way, but isn't it about time that got changed?

When Aang namedrops his job a slowed down version of the flute melody from the credits music plays. Neat.

Really liking the banjo type music in this episode.

I have bad luck with spelling phonetically, so the tribes will henceforth be known as Prissy and Dirty.

Gotta say, Prissy seems to always be attacking. Looks like Dirty wouldn't even bother with the feud if Prissy didn't keep bringing it up.

That Canyon guide earthbends a seriously large amount of earth. Like Bumi quantities.

Another responsibility added to the nebulously defined Avatar duties: peacemaking between peoples. I figured he was just for spirit stuff.

Appa's weight limit is apparently at least 11 people plus supplies. Strong boy. Also, this episode he understands enough English to know where to go without a human steering him.

"Would you rather be hungry, or dead?" Love how that line is delivered. Also I get the feeling this poor guy's been working a customer-facing role for too long.

Tiny Momo.

More evidence that this guy is a Bumi level earthbender. Diverting a landslide in mid-air? Diverting a whole landslide's worth of momentum-heavy rocks without any contact with them? This is nuts. Throw this guy at the Fire Nation and the war would be over in ten minutes.

"Now we gotta help me!" Unexpectedly funny line.

You know, now would be a good time for the Avatar to know earthbending. Actually how does that work? Aang can bend all four elements, but I guess he hasn't unlocked earth yet? What unlocks it? Apparently not peril.

Told you that earthbending guide had worked too long in customer service.

I get it. This whole tribal conflict is a mirror of Sokka and Katara's fight at the beginning. I completely agree that Sokka would have the grounded practicality of the Dirty tribe, but I've never read Katara as a "you can never be too careful" type of person. If anything, she's the much bigger risk-taker, especially compared to Sokka. In the very first episode, it was Katara who (with Aang's encouragement) went on the Fire Nation shipwreck. In the second episode, it was Sokka who was carefully assembling the supplies required to rescue Aang. Frankly Katara and Sokka as written in any other episode would fit into the opposite tribes, although Katara wouldn't fit the aesthetic of the Dirty tribe. Maybe that's the point? That they're not so different after all?

"Well, I guess it's ok if everyone's doing it." I am abruptly reminded of the fact that I am an adult, not a member of the target audience of this show. That line awakened my disapproving mom voice with such force that I had to restrain myself from yelling "if all your friends were jumping off a cliff, would you jump too?" at the screen. Honestly, I thought that the fact that I am not the target audience would cause problems like finding the humour too juvenile or the plots too basic or preachy. Turns out the humour is not juvenile at all, and the plots are complex and sincere in a way that makes any message being delivered seem a natural consequence of the plot and the opposite of preachy. No, where my age gets in the way is when Katara acts her age in small ways that make me want to throw half a dozen parental figures at her, with great force.

Wanna bet that Gin-wei and Wei-gin were the same person, if they existed at all?

Add gullible to Katara's list of things she needs to work on.

The justifications for bringing in food are hitting 5D chess levels.

This is gorgeous. I'll side with the Dirty tribe just because their myth is prettier. Yes, I'm that shallow, but this episode is too.

Sokka maintaining the appropriate amount of distance from the conflict and not getting sucked in like his sister by focusing on food is a lovely touch. Both true to Sokka's less trusting tendencies and true to the fact that he is a teenage boy.

Don't worry Aang, you're not missing much.

This canyon guide's got wisdom. Impartiality is lonely, and getting out will be a team effort. Definitely not his first rodeo.

Every argument between these two tribes is started by the Prissy one. Would they just put a sock in it?

Don't let the praise go to your head honey. I don't think they took it like you meant it.

One-man-army Aang strikes again.

"You're all AWFUL!" Yep. I think that's the crux of this episode. The problems are tiny and stupid, but seem huge when you're in the middle of them. Another of the side-effects of being impartial is that sometimes the pettiness and irrelevance in the grand scheme of things of very heated debates is infuriating.

"I only took their side because they fed me." Sokka shines this episode.

How did Aang make the canyon crawler pile? First time I haven't been able to follow fight choreography.

Combination muzzle and reins? I wouldn't have thought of that in a million years. And are people who aren't airbenders/acrobats going to be able to pull that muzzling move off?

Apparently yes. Gotta love cartoon physics.

Congratulations to both tribes for having superhuman grip strength. Clinging to a moving giant bug thing at 90 degrees while ascending a several hundred metre tall canyon seems neither fun nor possible.

I love the fake-out resolution. No way would 100 years of oral history be forgotten because of one bout of co-operation.

I love the noise these two make. They sound like ducks.

The panda referee going completely without explanation is fitting, given that Aang is completely done with these people, and is putting in as little effort as possible to get them out of the way as quickly as he can.

Can you really forget 100 years of prejudice so quickly? I predict there will be some hiccups along the journey.

Someone get that poor canyon guide a cushy retirement.

Look at these faces. I have nothing to say about them, they're just worth looking at.

The purple sky in the last scene is a delicious colour. Also harmonises really well with water tribe attire.

Casually overwriting a century of oral history (otherwise known as culture) in order to get the stupid problem to go away is funny as hell, and putting two warring tribes on the path to peace is an objectively good thing to do. That being said, any anthropologist in the audience is cringing, and I would think at least Katara, who seems to be very aware of the cultural importance of her waterbending, would not be ok with Aang casually rewriting someone's history like that. And maybe an Avatar that lies that easily is not the ideal. It's certainly realistic - sometimes bullshit problems require bullshit solutions. And lying equally to everyone is technically impartial, right?

Final Thoughts

This episode is not bad. That is my ATLA hot take and I will stand by it. Do you know what this episode is? It's an episode where Aang and friends get to see what their more ludicrous adventures look like from the perspective of an uninformed outsider. I guarantee you that Aang & company's attitude by the end of the episode is an exact mirror to how the guards in Omashu felt after hosting them for a couple of days. 'Good riddance to that nuisance, may it never darken our door again. What a headache that was.' We always see Aang's adventures from within, with the context to understand what is going on. Riding a mail cart down a mail chute makes sense to Aang and the viewer, but the guards see it as a disruptive nuisance that needs to be stopped. Hating a member of the opposing tribe for a past betrayal makes sense to one of the tribe members, but Aang and the viewer can see that it's a disruptive nuisance that needs to be stopped if they want to get out of the canyon alive. I liked that the episode did let us inside both tribes' perspectives, so that they aren't entirely unsympathetic. But even with an understanding of the dispute, what essentially amounts to a century-long blood feud is objectively a bad idea, especially with the fire nation after both tribes. It's not like the fire nation will go after one but not the other; both tribes will just be earth kingdom citizens to them, as they are to Aang, the impartial observer.

This episode was sort of Aang & friends getting a taste of their own medicine. It also maintained a consistent attitude of not taking seriously the problems that people who are too involved are taking too seriously. I think that the overarching theme of the episode is basically 'it's not that deep.' Sometimes the Avatar's duties will include solving petty, stupid problems. Good to see that Aang has at least one workable, if ethically dubious, strategy for handling said problems.

I do feel that Katara's sudden goody-two-shoes characterisation in the tent fight in the beginning of the episode was incorrect, unless I'm missing or forgetting some time she's clung to the rules before. It was obviously to set up the episode's larger conflict on a micro scale between her and Sokka, but as I said in my post on the Warriors of Kyoshi episode, if you have to Flanderise your character in order to make them eligible for learning the lesson of the episode, maybe they weren't the right character to use to drive home the lesson.

Aang is so zen most of the time that I enjoyed seeing him lose his temper on people who absolutely deserved it. Sokka had lots of great lines this episode, and Katara was a beast with that water whip of hers. Looks like, much as I don't want to admit it, stealing the water bending scroll paid off.

It does bother me how every argument between the two tribes seems to be started by the Prissy one. I would have preferred if the two tribes were equally antagonistic, I guess that would just be fairer?

If this episode was aiming for Southern Air Temple or Jet levels of depth and emotion, then this episode would be bad. But this episode, to me at least, is clearly a goofy side trip style episode, like the King of Omashu. Makes sense to have some utterly irrelevant side adventure after and episode as dark as Jet.

As an unexpected bonus, Zuko's characterisation was wonderfully consistent this episode!

[cacodaemonia]

This is probably an unpopular opinion among Ted Lasso fans, but the whole Nate storyline has both bored and irked me. Don't get me wrong, I adore this show and how sweet and wholesome it is, and I totally understand if people don't want to read any complaints about it. If that's you, stop reading here. 👍

Anyway: I have issues with the recent emphasis on forgiving someone like Nate.

I loved him at first, but then when he started to show his true colors I was very much in agreement with Coach Beard. Ted was always kind to Nate, always supported him, and the Nate turned on Ted because... his own father is a dick to him? My father was a much bigger piece of shit, but I don't treat people who constantly go out of their way to be kind to me like that.

I am not a forgiving person because I've seen over and over and over what happens to people when they keep on forgiving others for terrible behavior: they become welcome mats. That doesn't mean I dwell on the people who have wrong me—I just cut them off, don't let them waste my time, and my life is much better for it. So the whole 'forgive so-and-so for your own good' thing really doesn't make sense to me. Forgiving someone who has repeatedly wronged you or done something Very Bad to you opens you up to being treated like shit again—because, lbr, unlike in stories, most people don't completely change their personalities for the better. Yeah, it happens sometimes, but it's pretty rare.

So, back to Nate. Since the beginning of season 3, the audience has seen him... develop some? He's got a girlfriend, his dad was not mean to him once, he quit working for Rupert, and he's inexplicably a good waiter when just a few months ago, he was really into demeaning people and bossing them around. I haven't seen any explanation for why he would suddenly tolerate being a waiter, which—newsflash for anyone who hasn't done it—sucks. A lot of customers treat wait staff like garbage and I cannot imagine Nate handling that with a Customer Service Smile™, you know?

So all of that is kinda weird and not really super well explained, imo. But even weirder is that, unlike the audience, most of the other characters never saw any of these changes. For all they know, he's still the same Nate who was utterly awful for all of season 2. Characters like Jamie, Rebecca, Colin, and Isaac, who were varying levels of dicks at the beginning, showed the other characters that they wanted to make amends and worked to do so. They showed that they wanted to be better and gave others a reason to eventually trust them.

But Nate hasn't done any of this with the Richmond crew, so when Isaac, Colin, and Will (who Nate was particularly vile to) show up to invite him back to Richmond, I seriously thought the show was doing a weird dream sequence or something. My partner was equally baffled because it made NO SENSE. And yeah, I get that Ted has influenced people around him to be more forgiving etc. etc. but why would they invite Nate, who was horribly abusive to so many people on the team, back??? It would be like Sam inviting Akufo to dinner at his restaurant.

Anyway, I'm really not looking to argue with anyone. Sometimes you just need to vent, you know? And I just needed to vent about the Nate storyline, which I think has gotten really lame, and about how I take issue with the insistent forgiveness message of this last season. Yeah, I know it's fiction, but they are framing the show's messages as pretty explicit life advice. And the 'always forgive no matter what' message is simply not a universally good policy.

[nsomniacsdream]

Not saying anything we aren't already thinking- but the whole "a customer can scream in your face and you just have to smile thru it" has to die. Like. Seriously.

I had a dude tell me he was going to kill me and my whole family because I couldn't waive a 3 dollar fee. That's insane. And completely normal. Maybe people who aren't in service jobs just don't realize it happens as often as it does?

I'm not even saying never threaten to kill anyone! Just don't do it to the person with literally zero power in the situation! Like yall watched some show where the Lord of Baltimore or whatever beat a shoe shine boy for scuffing his shoe and were like "that is a reasonable way to go thru life".

This is just a story that I definitely don't know more details to: I was working in a union shop about 12 years ago at *redacted*, and we went on strike. And a customer, who had a reputation for treating everyone like they were personal slaves, showed up to harass the picket line. After they left, someone jumped their ass and gave back tenfold all the poison they had been spewing for years. The people you treat like trash remember it, and as soon as the situation changes that they're not forced to accept your abuse it's going to come back to you. Just treat service workers like you would a stranger! Polite and not a dick! Unless you're always a dick, in which case I'm sure you're used to getting your ass beat.

In conclusion, I think we should make it legal to viciously beat people if they act like that. Literally in "real life" outside of work, I wouldn't even be arrested because if someone yells about killing you its self defense. Yall realize that, right?

[narugen-moved]

my brain cooked up a rly good hoshimina idea while i was in the shower

featuring best friends (begrudgingly) hoshina and narumi, siblings narumi and kikoru, exes or something but not quite narumina (not plot relevant. just a bit but only mentioned like once briefly). pet shop owner kafka, mina who’s a pro athlete (subject to change.) but works there some days to help out, and hoshina a barista at the coffee shop down the road (where mina is a regular at) and neighbours hoshimina

okay so narumi drags hoshina to the pet store (where hoshina got his german shepard) and is like. i think i need to adopt a cat. and hoshina is like with what money bc he knows that pro gamer/twitch streamer business is like . not there at all (narumi L) and narumi is like Of course kikoru will be paying (they don’t even live together. they’re next door neighbours bc kikoru couldn’t stand the idea of living with narumi who’s a MESS)

(context is kikoru’s parents are both gone 🙏 and narumi used to visit the shinomiya’s a lot so he’s basically their second child and kikoru’s older brother ok - they both inherited some money but kikoru got the larger chunk of it)

and hoshina is like i really do not think she will. and mina who’s on shift that day is like: “you again?” to narumi and hoshina is like oh this Beautiful person was not here when i bought the dog last time. Hello. (does not say this nor does he let it show on his face that he’s been dazzled by this pet store employee) (narumi notices IMMEDIATELY) and narumi is like, “mina-san, hear me out-,” and hoshina has to do a double take bc narumi NEVER addresses anyone with honorifics.

“i’m busy. go away.” she says and that’s clearly Not customer service to someone u don’t know so hoshina instantly realizes narumina know each other but doesn’t question it. instead he decides he needs to stock up on pet food for his dog (number 10 LMFAO. jk. maybe) and leaves narumi to be a big baby where the kittens are.

mina, back to customer service mode, asks hoshina if she can help with anything and hoshina is just like Too stunned to speak bc girl should be a Model or something not here selling pet food and he’s like Oh i got it don’t worry (not letting it show on his face)

they leave and narumi is like LOL you’re a loser and hoshina is just like i don’t want to hear that from you. ever.

they return the next day ANYWAY because narumi is ITCHING to get the fucking cat and hoshina is driving (narumi has his motorbike but is #lazy) and narumi makes kikoru come along to try and convince her to pay for the cat’s adoption fees and all its necessities

kikoru enters the store and LOVES the cats but no she will not be paying a single cent for it. narumi u can go fuck urself. and narumi is like but u can come over and play with it. and she’s like ur just gonna make me pet sit while u game for ur 20 viewers. (cue narumi rage noises)

and mina just SIGHS because narumi please leave me alone . god but at least hoshina is there (mina visits the coffee shop hoshina works at most mornings but i guess with the rush hour he never noticed her but mina has been like eyeing him for ages okay.)

anyway kikoru also goes wow she’s gorgeous when they’re back in the car after they leave empty handed and hoshina is just happy to have seen mina again :) and then narumi is like lol guess what. we used to date and they both do a double take (hoshina trying not to be obvious abt it and narumi is like HAHA!) kikoru is saying shit like narumi is too ugly too loser too disgusting to have seriously dated someone as beautiful as her and hoshina in his head is like Yeah. wtf. and that’s how hoshina finds out narumina were classmates in uni .

anw that’s not rly important but i do want to emphasise that mina doesn’t have any other friends aside from kafka so narumi checks up on her (to her own annoyance) every once in a while (accidentally became daily) and hoshina is like Hm. okay.

ANYWAY. one day hoshina come back from walking his dog and SURPRISE guess who’s his next door neighbor that he somehow never ran into despite living there for two years. ashiro mina 🕺🕺🕺 he’s like Too flustered to speak and mina is like (playing it cool) you were with that nuisance weren’t you (knows who he is)

and he’s like um yeah. unfortunately. and she just nods (HER BRAIN IS SILENTLY WORKING IN OVERDRIVE TRYING TO MAKE TJE CONVO LAST LOBGER BUT SHES SOOO OSHIT TALKING AND SOCIAL INTERACTIONS) so she gives up and decides this is where fate takes her. she has yet again failed to get the attention of the really cute guy. (also she knows they’re neighbours)

but. BUT AN OPPORTUJITY ARISES when she unlocks her door and one of her cats ZOOMS out and she’s like ??’!&:&:$ and with her fast reflexes manages to grab it before it disappears and she holds in her arms and quietly chides it for being naughty and HOSHINA. hoshina found dead in a ditch because Oh That’s So Cute. the stoic pet store employee who hisses out insults to narumi (understandably) has an endearing side.

“does that happen often. you reacted pretty quick.”

“it’s not the first time but i swear my cats are good.”

and hoshina raises an eyebrow and is like. Multiple? and DING DING DING MINA HAS FOUND A CHANCE. she goes do u wanna. see them. and hoshina IS ALSO GOIING YIPPIE here’s my chance so he’s like Ahem Yeah . Sure. (panicking) but asks if her cats are okay with dogs first or if he shld bring his dog in (who is By the way. being very excited about mina and has been wagging its tail trying to get her attention the entire time. the moment mina smiled at it. hoshina died)

and yes! her cats are in fact okay with dogs so they enter her apartment and mina stalls at the entranceway bc she can’t remember if she’s cleaned the place recently or not but it’s thankfully NOT in a mess. hoshina laughs at the sheer amount of cat related items in her place and is like u must rly like cats huh.

(which would also explain why she told off narumi in the pet store for being too impulsive “don’t adopt if you can’t even take care of it. idiot.”)

ALSO ALSO. pro athlete moment comes in when mina has to travel to do whatever sport i haven’t decided and she needs someone to pet sit (would ask kafka but kafka was like Hey u like that guy don’t u why not ask him and he’s Literally ur neighbour?) so . More shenanigans. and mina is like crazy abt her cats so she’s like can we please video call every other day i know it’s annoying but i have to see my cats. and hoshina is just swooning thats so cute (mina then realizes its a bad idea bc seeing her not crush eye candy with HER cats playing with them and looking adorable IS SO BAD FOR HER HEART) and heahZ oh my goodness. I love love.

ARGHHH also hoshina eventually finds out she’s a regular at the cafe he works at when his coworker (i’ll make it one of the platoon leaders) greets her with ashiro-chan! and hoshina has to try not to burn himself on the coffee machine.

(from then on he memorises her order and makes sure to be the one who makes it and oh my god he writes cute things on her cups and gives her bonus goodies) . dies

HOW DO I END THIS I WANNA WRITE IT. but i cant get them going out too suddenly either there needs to be build up. pet play dates. ohhh one of her cats falling sick and she doesn’t know what’s wrong and she’s so so worried and hoshina is there to comfort her…. SLEEPOVERS when hoshina’s something idk maybe his shower stops working or something idfk and he crashes at her place. oughhhhhh

WHEN MINA GOES FOR HER MORNING RUNS ON THE WEEKENDS HOSHINA STARTS JOINING HER WITH HIS DOG (dying)

WHAT IF THET WENT CAMPINGTOGETHER. god okay i need to like find an ending i guess they get together BUT HOWWWWW im always stuck at endings damn.

[harlequin-hangout]

For a Mortal Chapter 2

Series Masterlist | Loki Masterlist

< Part 1 | Part 3 >

Pairing: Dom!Loki x f!Reader

Warnings: Self esteem problems, self deprecation, ⚠️abuse (past, not from Loki)⚠️, minor breaking and entering

Contains: Angst, maybe a little fluff, brain not processing the literal god, descriptions of sensual fluffiness

Word Count: 2.2k

Dividers are made by me! Want some for yourself? Send me an ask!

I do not nor will I ever give permission for my writing to be copied, pasted, reposted to other sites, or edited in any way shape or form. Seriously, just don’t.

A/N: Chapter 2!! This was inspired by this ask by @michelleleewise​. This is my first attempt at writing any kind of fan fiction, so please be kind. Thank you so much to @vbecker10 and @soubi001 for all the help with this chapter!! I'm so sorry that it took so long, inspiration hasn't been showing its face for this series.

You groan, hearing the all-too-familiar 10 am alarm blaring next to you. Why you had never turned off that damned alarm, you’d never know. It’s not like you had anything to do that day, but it wasn’t good for your mental health to stay in bed. Turning off the alarm, you stare at the ceiling. Did last night really happen? It couldn’t have . . . right? Magic, gods, teleportation . . . it couldn’t exist in real life. That was ridiculous. . . wasn’t it? You haul yourself out of bed, gingerly pressing the bathroom door open. Everything was just as you’d left it. Clothes were strewn all over the floor and a combination of makeup and sanitary products littered the counter. Notably though, where you remembered placing a pine scented green candle last night was only a few drops of green wax. You stare at the empty counter space, ignoring your phone when it starts to ring. How was it gone?? Did Loki take it back? How were you supposed to contact him again? You sigh and rub your eyes, already wanting to crawl back into your bed. Last night was definitely too good to be true. Your phone began to ring again, Caller ID showing your friend Sobhana – Soubi for short – on the screen.

“Mmmh . . . Morning . . .” you groan.

“Hey! Someone sounds like she had a long night,” Soubi teased.

“Something like that . . . Either that or I’m losing my mind. What’s up?”

“Val and I were gonna grab something to eat at that Thai place you like. Wanna come?”

“Thank you so much for thinking of me, Soubi, but I don’t have money to eat out. I’d love to see you guys though, would you want to come hang out later today?” You heard Soubi laugh a little on the other end of the line.

“Don’t use your customer service apology on me. Did I ask if you had money? I got you, we’ll meet you there at 11:30. Sound good?” Soubi stated, leaving no room for arguments. “You can repay me by filling me in on all the work drama. I swear, that boss of yours gets dumber every time you tell me about him.” You burst out laughing. She wasn’t wrong. Every time you talked to Darren Albright, the stories got more and more unbelievable.

“Deal, and this weekend I’ll make you and Val some of that baked mac and cheese. We can have movie night at my place.”

“Movies sound great! I’ll always brie up for them, even if you pick the ones that are pasta-tively cheesy.” You could practically hear Soubi’s grin as you groan at her awful puns. She had more puns ready for any situation than anyone you’d ever met, and you absolutely adored her for it. Plus, two can play at that game.

“I better get ready, or I’m Ghouda be late.” You poke back at her, only lasting a couple moments before dissolving into giggles. “Yeah, no, that was bad. Yours was so much better! I’ll see you at 11?”

“You’ll get on my level one day, see you then!” Soubi hung up with a click, and you were left to search your closet for something clean to wear.

You hadn't said much since you’d arrived at the restaurant. If Val and Soubi noticed, they hadn’t said anything so far. You mumbled your thanks as the waiter set the plate down in front of you, taking a deep breath before letting out a sigh.

“Y/N, you’re really quiet. That isn’t like you, what’s going on?” Val spoke up from across the table, concern in her eyes.

“It’s just . . .” You take another deep breath. “So, I might be going crazy. I had this . . . this dream, I guess? I dunno. I wouldn’t really call it a dream, it was so vivid, I could have sworn it was a memory, but I’m not sure what else to think.”

“Well, what’s going on?” Soubi inquires from your left. “If there’s something weird going on, you can always tell us.”

“Okay . . . Well it started after Darren called me last night.” You spent the next  thirty minutes filling your friends in on the previous evening’s crazy adventure. From the candle to the shower, to the almost – almost – platonic domination. “He didn’t even push for sex! Like I said, it’s like he could watch my memories . . . he knew exactly what I liked, but also what to avoid in order to make sure I was comfortable.”

“Wait, after all of that you didn’t fuck him??” Val almost screamed, and you had to fight back a giggle when she realized that people were looking. 

“No! We talked for a while, there was some gentle hair pulling while we made out, but he didn’t try anything unless he asked first or I initiated. I’m sure it would have been amazing if we had, though . . . I wonder what it would be like to fuck a guy who knows exactly what I want.”

“Sounds like an in-depth knowledge of sin and temptation are in your future and this god person is there to give a self guided tour.” Soubi’s comment almost made you blow soda out of your nose, and you take a few minutes to stop yourself from choking. Val was the first to regain control of her laughter.

“Soubi’s got a point though,” Val stated, wiping a tear from her eye. “He sounds too amazing to have been anything other than an imagination.” 

“See, that’s what I thought at first, but there’s these little green droplets of wax where the candle used to be.”

“Used to be?” Val raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, no. That’s really weird.”

“I mean, that’s physical evidence. That definitely means SOMETHING was there.” Soubi’s eyebrows creased. She wasn’t ready to say it yet, but she was definitely getting worried. “Do you have any makeup that could have left it? You accidentally melted that lipstick while trying to fix a break in it a while back.”

“You have a point, but I’m absolutely certain. I don’t own any makeup that color, and it was the exact same green with the same pine scent lingering. I have absolutely no idea what else it could be. I think I may be going crazy . . .” Your gaze drops to the table. You really didn’t want to admit it, but there was no other explanation. Some kind of psychotic break was the only logical explanation.

“Crazy, nothing, I’m worried that someone has been in your apartment.” Soubi muttered under her breath. “If someone was in your place, that’s really dangerous. They could have laced your food with stuff, or even the candle somehow. A hallucination would explain the god man appearing in your bathroom.” You glance at Val out of the side of your eye.

“I mean . . . It’s totally possible, but we still love you. I think you’re fine though honestly, you’ve been going through a lot lately, especially with your crappy job. I’m sure your mind is just looking for a way to deal with it while you're sleeping. Maybe get some extra locks though?” You smile softly, grateful to have friends with your best interest at heart.

“Yeah, extra locks seem like an amazing idea. But speaking of my crappy job . . . I believe I promised Soubi an update. Darren called me yesterday to tell me that I haven’t been doing anything for the company.”

“What??” Soubi hissed. “Didn’t you build an entirely new backend to make intake smoother?”

“Yup.”

“And you do all the upkeep on it, right?”

“All by myself, I don’t know if he even knows how it works.” A wicked smile creeps across Val’s face.

“You should quit. It isn’t like he’s paying you anyway. Just quit and wait for him to come crawling back to you when he realizes how much you actually do.”

“As satisfying as that could be, he’s an Albright, he might make sure that I never work in the film industry again, and I’ve worked way too hard to get here.”

“Do you really think he’d do that?” Val inquired.

“Well . . . no, not really, but I also think that if I walk, I’m never getting my job back. I’ve worked so hard to get where I am, and if I step out of Darren’s company on terms like this, then I can’t use him as a reference. I’ll be back to square one . . .”

“Hey, look at me?” Soubi asks. “ You won’t be starting from square one. You’ll be starting from experience. I’ve seen you grow so much over the past year and a half, especially after you finally cut off contact with your ex. We’re going to support you no matter what.” You beam, taking a deep breath and feeling a moment of peace for the first time in the last couple months. Your life had become so hectic, but Val and Soubi had remained your constant. As long as you have your friends, you can get through whatever this curveball turns out to be. 

Your laptop dings with the fifth email from Albright.  Even though he accused you of not doing anything, you still seemed to be getting a lot put on your plate. You look over the new client application, grabbing your mug of hot chocolate from your side table. The application was for a new marketing client, and they were only asking for a basic social media consultation and re-do of their old logo. You sip your mug as you spend the next few hours going over the company site and social media, compiling a list of suggestions and replying to Darren’s email with your recommendations. By midnight, you had sorted through all the new clients and organized materials for the current client, plus re-worked part of your backend system to make finding client information easier. You stand, making your way to the kitchen. After depositing your empty mug in the sink, you grab a cup of water to take with you to bed. Today has been hard, but you won’t let it get the better of you.

The next two days passed without anything of note happening. Your days are mostly spent messaging the group chat with Soubi and Val (Soubi has nicknamed it My Taste in Buds a while back) and job applications. You needed income from somewhere, and Darren wasn’t cutting it. Coffee shops, restaurants, and even some retail stores had been checked off the list, but it was Saturday and you weren’t likely to hear anything  back on the weekends. You close your laptop and head to the bathroom. A hot, steamy shower sounds like the most amazing thing right now.

The water pours over your skin and the steam fills your lungs. You’d finished washing ages ago, but it was nice to take a moment to breathe. In here, nothing could bother you. Not Darren, not bills, not unanswered job applications. You could stay in your little bubble and pretend for just one moment that everything was okay. You’d been able to sit with the events of your dream, and process. Val was right, this was probably your brain rationalizing. The human brain is such an amazing thing, it never stops working. It probably took spots of stuff on your counter and the amount of smut that you read and turned it into a coping mechanism while you slept. You had to admit, it had been nice. His slender fingers sliding through your hair. The gentle way he spoke. His voice had been both masculine and ethereal. Both commanding and comforting. The way he had spoken to you after he pulled you away from your shower . . . The softness wasn’t something you were used to. You barely knew the man – god, if he was to be believed – but he was more considerate of your wants and your needs than anyone you’d ever dated. Hell, most of the people who called you a friend didn’t seem to care. Outside of Val and Soubi, it seemed that most people kept you around because of things they thought that you could do for them. It made perfect sense that your brain would supply a tall, dark, and elegant man with a voice as smooth as velvet to help meet the needs in your life that were left unfulfilled. You spend a few more moments reminiscing on the dream, focusing on how his hands felt on your skin as his lips brushed yours, waiting for you to close the last breath of space between the two of you instead of just taking what he wanted. He was too good to be true, and almost definitely couldn’t exist outside of a dream. You toweled off, wrapping that towel around yourself before reaching to grab another for your hair. You pause, sniffing the towel. Something didn’t smell right . . . It wasn’t the towels, and it wasn’t the clothes you had piled on the floor . . . You grabbed the knife that you kept in your bedside table for protection and quietly made your way towards the living room and the front door. As you stepped out of the hallway, you stopped dead in your tracks. You recognized the scent, but what was it? You take stock of your apartment. Everything seems to be in place, the door is locked, the windows are closed . . . What could that smell be? Then it hits you. It’s leather. Leather and sandalwood. And sitting on the side table next to your laptop is a familiar green pine tree  scented candle.

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