#seriously i miss Joe

[phoenixtakaramono]

There are only two episodes left in The Boys S4, but having seen the leaks and with what we got, I have some opinions.

My conspiracy theory is that they got too many cooks in the kitchen (writers in the writer’s room)—plus the writer’s strike and pandemic happening during this time—and it’s starting to make sense how they dropped the ball with this season.

[flamingoinkart]

THIS PURPLE SON OF A BITCH is Shipped With So Many Random Characters and basically, you are fucking stupid. How? ... just watch

[cementcornfield]

Ja’Marr must be going crazy seeing Joe and Justin hanging out without him and even showing up in Paris together right after he left 😂

lmaooo the fact that he posted right after joe and justin put each other in their stories 😭

i'm hoping against hope that he's still there but a. his post today was of him in an outfit we've already seen and b. WHY WOULDN'T HE BE WITH HIS BOYS THEN??

i guess we'll see what happens the rest of the week!

[jemmo]

can’t believe my warp effect journey went from seeing the pilot trailer thinking what the actual fuck is this mess, to finishing it and thinking omg im gonna miss this glorious queer mess

[decent0distraction]

I often forget that season 3 and a lot of season 4 of Glee exists

And when I am reminded, I am …disturbed

Also Run Joey Run. I love it, I do, but also. Traumatizing. As is most of Glee.

[hersterical]

I’ve been seeing a lot of people talk about how the characters could have avoided their fates if they had just done something different (usually gay sex) but that defeats the whole purpose of the inevitability of it all. I’m not being clear, let me try again.

The decisions each character makes are theoretically easily avoidable, except that these choices that doom them are the same choices that are inherently tied to who they are and if they did not make those decisions then they would no longer be the same characters on a fundamental level. Take Goncharov himself as an example.

The decisions that sealed his fate can basically be summed up as his desire to create a legacy that transcends time and will essentially immortalize him. (Don’t tell me you didn’t notice the weird amount of portraits and statues he had of himself, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg) It’s this drive that leads to him never truly opening up to Andrey, allowing his relationship with Katya to deteriorate, send Ice Pick Joe to kill and kill over and over again until Joe loses every trace of his humanity, and underestimate Mario. Any one of these decisions seem stupid and avoidable, except that would mean betraying his desire to transcend time and break the clocks. That would then mean that Goncharov would lose the thing that would have made him Goncharov. He never would’ve taken over Naples, never would’ve been the man to gain such loyalty from the rest of the characters, and probably never would’ve even have made it out of Russia. Would his story have been less tragic? Yes. Would that have been enough? Not for Goncharov

I feel like I’ve made my point, but I’ll do this for a few more characters just for fun

Ice Pick Joe was SO CLOSE to breaking the cycle of violence! I was screaming at the screen. It would have been as easy as stepping on that train and never looking back. But he didn’t do that. Why? Because of his commitment. He’s started something and he was going to see it through to the end even if it killed him. If it weren’t for that commitment he wouldn’t be Ice Pick Joe. He wouldn’t have worked so hard and crossed all the lines that he did in order to send money to his family. He would’ve given up all those many years ago when he found himself in a hopeless situation without a weapon, but it was that very commitment that lead him to picking up an ice pick of all things, cross lines that no one else was willing to cross, and get the job done. It may have killed him in the end, but he only got to be where he was because of who he was and what made him Ice Pick Joe was his commitment.

Katya’s problems all would’ve been solved if she had just ran off with Sofia and never looked back. It’s a little bit more difficult to put her fatal flaw into words, but it’s very similar to Joe’s. Whereas Joe’s flaw was commitment, I’d say Katya’s is loyalty. It seems like the same thing but while Joe is motivated by duty and responsibility, Katya is more motivated by genuine passion and belief. She wants everyone to believe she is the ice queen, and she does usually make her decisions based off of sound logic, but what gives her the motivation to do so are her strong emotions. She truly believes that Goncharov is capable of achieving what he sets out to do and after so many years by his side she will see him accomplish that lasting legacy even if she finds the idea to be self-aggrandizing. She also put in so much work herself into building up the crime family in Naples. She sacrificed her home in her beloved Russia in order to make a home here and she is not going to throw it out the window. She also believes that Sofia could never truly be happy away from her home town, so her loyalty to Sofia means that Katya would never make the selfish decision to take her away from Naples even without Goncharov. Katya ran away from home to marry Goncharov, she ran away from Russia to Naples, she’s (figuratively) running away from her marriage through her relationship with Sofia, she is not going to be running away from her new home. She’s lost so much of herself over the years, staying loyal to the things that she can is the only way she can regain her identity, not realizing until it’s too late that the most important person for her to be loyal to is herself.

Sofia’s fatal flaw is her honesty. She gets what she wants because she is unapologetically honest about what it is she truly wants and goes after it with determination and drive. Everyone who knows her knows that they can trust her to never lie to them. It baffles dishonest people who she’d rather avoid if she could, and attracts fellow honest people that she knows she can rely on. Just because she’s honest doesn’t mean that she isn’t able to notice when other people aren’t so it’s a pretty good system. It doesn’t cause her any real trouble until Katya is both entranced and overwhelmed by Sofia’s sincerity and depth of feeling for her. Sofia’s usually pretty good at knowing just how honest she needs to be, but not with Katya. Sofia has a want, expresses the want, and will honestly pursue that want for as long as there’s a glimmer of hope for her to achieve it. This openness and ability to acknowledge uncomfortable truths is what makes the rejection and betrayal shatter her so completely. Sofia’s honesty is what makes her Sofia and her honesty is what destroys her

Andrey’s fatal flaw is his greed. Not just his greed for money, but his greed for power, status, recognition, and (Goncharov’s) attention. Unlike Goncharov, Andrey doesn’t care about how he’s remembered so long as he gets the life that he wants now. Goncharov tries to defy time by trying to become immortal (as if he wasn’t gay enough already, I’m only now seeing all of the Dorian Gray parallels), Andrey tries to defy time by fully embracing the present. While this greed has served him well for most of his life and has gotten him so close to where he wants, it can’t quite get him all the way there with Goncharov. So his greed leads him to other places. This leads him to make decisions that are good for him in the short term, are what ultimately lead to his death. Greed made Andrey who he was, but also made all of the betrayal and pain in his path inevitable. There was no way for Andrey to avoid his fate because his greed made his death necessary and without his greed Andrey would not be Andrey

Long story short, Goncharov is a modern Greek tragedy

[infinityshigh]

i cant believe it took me eighteen years to start listening to fob this band is fucking brilliant are you kidding me. the songs they put out twenty years ago still hit THE SAME grand theft autumn and saturday are timeless and i just had the most religious experience in my room listening to hold me like a grudge seven times in a row. are you kidding me. i love their music so much i need to eat it

[digitaldiseas3]

I JUST NEED TO FINISH MY HW AND THEN TONIGHT IM GONNA DOWN A BOTTLE OF SOJU AND PLAY OMORI AND/OR YTTD YAAAAAAAAA

[foldingfittedsheets]

In my household growing up scaring each other was like an Olympic level sport. We’d wait around corners, we’d hide under things. We took it seriously.

My mom started it. She loved scaring us. She has a cherished photo of me screaming that she took one Halloween night after jumping out of a dark bush at me. But my quickly brother latched onto the game with abandon. Mom quickly regretted teaching us to do this as turnabout did not seek like fair play to her.

At one point my sister was given a life size cardboard cutout of Legolas and the second we realized that thing was an instant jump scare we’d move it all over the house. The scream from the bathroom at 2am was my crowning achievement but Legolas tragically went missing shortly after. Read: my mom burned him.

Now, as the youngest I was at a severe disadvantage. I spooked the easiest after my mom. I was exceptionally sneaky and patient so I typically got my revenge but I quickly learned that if you didn’t jump then it was less fun. Thus began my campaign for nonreaction. Every time someone jumped out at me I startled a little less as I stamped down on the reflex.

After a year or so I would just blink at my brother when he popped out from a closet. Don’t get me wrong, I was still scared. The spike of adrenaline and panic still happened internally but I didn’t react anymore. My brother soon gave up on me and the game died to our mothers intense relief.

I largely forgot about that period of my life but every so often someone tries to scare me and is extremely disappointed.

My favorite of these attempts was at Red Robin. Servers loved to spook the hosts when they could, it was a fun pastime when they didn’t have enough to do.

The hosts were meant to open the doors for people when it was slow. The door we opened had a single seat beside it on the left, then a blind hallway that led to the bathroom.

One evening I was on door duty. I was facing slightly away from the seat on my left. A server buddy of mine snuck out of the bathroom quiet as could be. He waited for the perfect moment, then leapt over the seat to land in front of me with a huge, “RAH!!!!!” It was a feat of fear and athleticism.

Panic shot through me like a lightning bolt but grounded itself quickly. I didn’t outwardly so much as blink in surprise, and after a quick beat I turned to look at him calmly and said, “Hey, Joe.”

He deflated and all the other hosts jaws dropped. “How did you see me?!”

“I didn’t,” I assured him.

He scoffed in disbelief and slunk away defeated.

He hounded me for a week about how coolly I’d greeted him, asking if I’d heard him coming or if another host had tipped me off. “No, you scared me,” I told him. He never believed it and no further attempts were ever made on me.

[fazcinatingblog]

Grundy lost a lot of his motivation for the game when daniher moved to Brisbane and he lost his anzac day hugs. I hope at Melbourne he organises Anzac day eve games against Brisbane. Stay strong Brodie xx

[starsinthesky5]

you are in love | joe burrow x reader

description: how did you end up falling head over heels for the quarterback of the Cincinnati Bengals? but most importantly, how did the quarterback end up falling harder for you?

a/n: this is my first fic ever so bare with me! i’m still getting the hang of writing about joe. i have tried a few times but ended up deleting them because I didn’t like how they turned out LOL. buttt I got bored and got a little confidence and decided to try again. i hope you all like it (if anyone even reads this). this is based off of one of my favorite songs ever and I thought it would make a nice fic. i hope its not too cringe, enjoy :)

warnings: slight smut and allusions to sex, language

word count: 5.5 k

part 2

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

present day:

One look, Dark Room

Meant just, For you

Time moved too fast, You play it back

“And that should do it,” Joe says as he places the final pillow onto the fort.

“Didn’t know you had “architect” in your job portfolio. This is impressive,” you giggled as you got into the fort.

“No need for the flattery babe, gotta make sure your first night here is comfy so you come back,” Joe replied while draping a blanket over your legs.

“Oh I’ll be back, someone has to use the massive pool, and knowing you, you won’t go in there without me,” you said while thinking about all the exciting things you’ll get to do with him at his new house.

“You got that right, but you’re the one who needs to hang on to me and use me as her personal flotation device,” he says as he settles on the pillows across from you.

“Well then, maybe you shouldn’t be so huggable Mr. Burrow,” you say before throwing a pillow at him.

Today was you and Joe’s 6 month anniversary. You two had spent the entire day moving Joe into his new house that he bought when he signed his extension. There were boxes everywhere and hardly any furniture set up, so Joe ended up building a blanket fort for the night. He spent every free moment apologizing for not being able to do something romantic for your anniversary, but you didn’t mind. Any moment with him was special.

“Thank you for helping me out today, I know you probably didn’t think we’d be spending most of the weekend doing this when I asked you to come to Cincinnati,” He said as he was fidgeting with his wristbands.

You lived all the way in Los Angeles and were currently in the middle of working on your 3rd studio album. You were in desperate need of a break and inspiration, so you jumped on the first flight to Cincinnati to see your favorite person.

“Joe, you've apologized enough. Seriously, it’s perfectly fine. You know that I don’t care about the fancy dates and over-the-top gestures. Any time we get to spend together means the world to me, even if it involves carefully moving your extensive Lego collection to the new house,” you chuckle while rubbing his foot.

Joe’s heart was exploding while you were talking. He seriously doesn’t understand how he got so lucky. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him and he wanted to do everything possible to show you. But the one thing he adored most about you was that you didn’t care for all the glitz and glamor of dating an NFL quarterback. And you loved that he didn’t care about your Hollywood status or all the attention you’d get from the public.

Joe got up on his knees and crawled over to the spot next to you. Once he sat down, you immediately latched onto him and buried yourself into his neck, missing the warmth of his body.

“See, you’re so huggable,” you murmured against his neck.

You heard him softly laugh and felt his hand move up your side, squeezing your arm. “How did I get so lucky” you wondered to yourself.

——��———————————————

first meeting:

Buttons on a coat, Light-hearted joke

No proof, not much

But you saw enough

Flashback to July 4th: The Hamptons, New York

You dreaded going to the big 4th of July bash hosted by Micheal Rubin every year, but as an up-and-coming musician, saying “No” to this kind of party would be stupid given the number of connections you could make. The party would always have the most elite Celebrities, Models, Musicians, and Athletes; meaning a lot of small talk and fake laughing. This would be your third time going, and every time you end up sitting in the corner, alone with your way too strong Vodka Martini, counting down the minutes until you could leave. But this year, something was different.

You did end up sitting in the corner with your way too-strong Martini, but you weren't alone. And you certainly weren't counting down the minutes until you could leave. Hell, you were even wishing this night would never end.

“What happens to Football Players when they become blind?” he asked.

“Hmm, I don’t know,” you replied.

“They become referees,” he said while smirking.

“Joe! You can’t say that!” you wheezed out. You couldn't contain your laughter any longer. You weren’t sure if it was because of the Martini, or the fact that Joe Burrow was sitting next to you, also drinking a Vodka Martini.

“Hey, it’s the truth, but you didn’t hear that from me,” Joe said while throwing his hands up.

“You got it Mr. QB1, but I do agree; it’s such BS when they miss the most clear calls,” you giggled.

You weren’t really sure how you and Joe ended up basically spending the entire party by each other's side. One minute you're about to sit and scroll on your phone as usual, and the next thing you know you’re telling your life story to a guy you just met. Were you a little buzzed, absolutely. But something about him made you feel comfortable and safe, even though you just met.

“You’re really cool by the way,” Joe whispered.

“Gee, aren’t you Shakespeare,” you smiled and took another sip of your drink.

“Seriously though. The entire time we've been sitting here, not once did you purposefully bring up the fact that I’m an NFL quarterback. Not many girls can talk to me without bringing up football or trying to flirt with me. It’s exhausting,” he confessed but quickly realized how cocky he sounds. “Not that every girl tries to flirt with me,” he added. 

You laughed and said, “Well, lucky for you I find more value in real conversations than all that superficial stuff. I totally understand the feeling, I love talking to people about my music but after a certain point I just want to talk about normal things and have real conversation,”

I do think it’s cool that you’re a football player since I grew up watching it, but I want to know more about you, not the quarterback,” you continue.

“Well then Miss Y/N, I’m in New York for a few more days, let me take you out to dinner so you can get to know the real Joe a little more,” he boldly asked.

You stared into his deep blue eyes, eyes you wouldn’t mind getting lost in. Something about those eyes was promising. You’ve only just met him and for all you know, he could be a typical “Fuck Boy athlete” looking for a quick hookup. There was nothing to attest to what he was saying, but part of you was willing to take the risk. Something about him felt different.

“Earth to Y/N-”

“Okay,” was all you said.

Little did you know that saying yes to Joe was one of the best decisions you’ve ever made.

——————————————————

early dating:

Small talk, he drives

Coffee at midnight

The light reflects, The chain on your neck

He says, “Look up”, And your shoulders brush

No proof, one touch, But you felt enough

Flashback to your first time visiting Joe in Cincinnati

It had been a few weeks since you and Joe had dinner together and he had been nothing but a gentleman. The two of you talked about everything from your childhoods to your current aspirations, to your favorite music, and even geeking out about Marvel Movies plus everything nerdy. Joe made you feel good about yourself. He would always tell you how pretty you looked and paid the most attention whenever you would talk. He made you feel butterflies, something which you hadn’t felt in a long time.

After you left New York, the two of you couldn’t stop talking to each other. The silly conversations eventually turned into deep ones; you telling him things you’ve only shared with a select number of people. You felt comfortable when you were talking to him, so this wasn’t difficult for you. He shared things with you about himself that he would only share with those close to him, which was very few since he kept a tight circle. You both shared a mutual feeling of trust, willing to lay yourself bare just to get to know one another. You’d always text him after a vigorous studio sesh to vent and he would update you on his off-season progress. Those texts eventually turned into late-night facetimes, which ended up in Joe asking you to fly out and see him. You hesitated a bit before saying yes. In the back of your mind, you were scared. You knew that the more you two talked and saw one another, the more attached you’d get. He could break your heart into a thousand pieces if you weren’t careful. But you owed it to yourself and to Joe to try.

You hummed along to whatever song was playing on the radio as you looked out the window and watched the bright city skyline fade. It was currently midnight in Cincinnati and Joe insisted that he take you to his favorite secret spot on your first trip here.

“You tired?” Joe asked as he glanced over to you, taking in every one of your features.

God you looked so pretty, he thought. You were wearing one of his old Athens Football hoodies and had your hair in a messy bun. You weren’t wearing any makeup and even had on a pair of his slides, which were a few sizes too big. Even in your most natural state, he looked at you like you were a diamond.

“A little. Didn’t get a lot of sleep on the plane,” you yawned out.

“I promise this will be worth it,” Joe said as he placed his hand on your bare thigh.

You immediately tensed up at the foreign contact. Joe felt you tense up and went to remove his hand but you put it right back on your thigh and felt your face turning red. Your stomach was doing somersaults right now.

“Those damn butterflies,” you thought to yourself.

“So, how’s the album coming along?” Joe casually questioned as if he didn’t just make you want to scream out of excitement.

“It’s good, slow, but making progress. I feel like I’ve hit a dead end and am having major writer's block so I think stepping away from it for a little bit will be good for me. Things were getting a bit stuffy and loud. I feel like I was getting somewhere but it always ends up being nothing,” you say as you place your hand on top of his, playing with his fingers.

“That’s good, I hope this weekend will be a breath of fresh air for you. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Always remember that you’re doing your best,”

You looked over at Joe and felt your heart swell up. He knew exactly what to say and how to make a girl feel special.

~10 minutes later~

“We’re here,” Joe says as he turns off the car. 

You looked out the window and saw nothing but trees and grass. You were confused as to where he brought you but before you could ask him, he got out of the car and jogged to your door to open it for you.

“Thank you, Joey,” you blushed as he closed the door behind you.

Joe stepped behind you and whispered into your ear “Close your eyes, I promise it’ll make it even better”.

You closed your eyes and felt his hand on the small of your back. He led you through what felt like a clearing in the trees to a flat grassy patch. You could feel the cold wind against your bare legs meaning that you were out of the woods.

“Open,” he told you.

When you opened your eyes you were met with the most beautiful sight. The same skyline you saw up close, now you were looking at from a distance. It was breathtaking. In Front of you was a picnic blanket and a beautiful set up of candles.

“Holy shit Joe, this is beautiful,” you say in awe.

“Welcome to the lookout point. My favorite place to go when I need a minute alone. I also remember you mentioning how you loved looking at skylines during the sunset and even though we couldn’t make it for the sunset part, I thought this would be the next best thing,” He says as he leads you both to the blanket.

You both sat down on the blanket and he immediately pulled you into his chest. You both faced the bright skyline and all Joe could think about was how much peace he felt at that moment. It was just the two of you sitting in your own little world. The darkness and quietness around you both felt comforting because it was a sign that this moment was just for you both;  no outside noise or distractions.

“This is insane, I mean you can see the whole city and river from up here!” You say as you settle into his arms, your back to his chest.

“That’s not even the best part Y/N, look up,” He points.

You turn your head up to look at him and then you look up. You’re met with what is probably the clearest view of the stars you’ve ever gotten.

“It’s beautiful,” you whisper, not removing your eyes from the sky.

“You’re beautiful,” Joe says while looking down at you.

You got that feeling again. Your stomach was doing somersaults and the butterflies were back. Could this be that feeling? A feeling you hadn’t felt in a while? That feeling you get when the right person enters your life at the right time? Was Joe that person? So many questions filled your head that you didn’t realize Joe had been softly caressing your thigh the entire time which pulled you out of your trance. 

“That right there is the Big Dipper which points straight to-”

“Polaris,” you interrupt.

“Space nerd,” Joe shakes his head and laughs out.

“Don’t think I don’t know about your space nerdy ways Burrow, I know this is your domain,” you huff out. Joe had told you back in New York that he loved anything and everything space and physics-related. You admired how someone like him was a complete nerd under the tough shell he had. You naturally went back to your apartment and spent an hour or two updating yourself on space quick facts, which certainly paid off.

You slowly got out of his embrace and sat up across from him. 

“Is something wrong?” He asked with a hint of confusion in his voice.

“No, nothing’s wrong Joe,” you chuckle.

“It’s perfect actually. It’s all perfect. You’re perfect,” you say as you move closer to him, still sitting up. “You know how to make a girl feel special, this was really sweet of you Joe,” you say as you play with the strings of his your hoodie. 

“I just wanna make my girl feel special,” he confesses while moving your hair out of your face.

His girl.

Those were the only words you needed to hear before you jumped onto him and pressed your lips against his. His lips fit perfectly against yours like you were made for each other, so soft and sweet. He slipped his tongue in between the valley of your lips and entered your mouth which caused you to let out a soft whimper. You both spent a few moments exploring each other’s mouths before he broke apart the heated moment.

“I take that as a “yes I’ll be your girlfriend”,” he questioned while searching your face for an answer.

“I didn’t know you were asking,” you teased.

Joe’s face dropped, did he push you too fast? You noticed his facial expression change and immediately pressed a soft kiss onto the tip of his nose and laughed,  “Yes silly, I’ll be your girl,”.

——————————————————

it's getting serious:

Morning, his place, Burnt toast, Sunday 

You keep his shirt, He keeps his word

And for once, you let go, Of your fears & your ghosts 

One step, not much,  But it said enough

Flashback to Joe’s house (4 months into dating)

The warm sunlight flooded the room as you slowly woke up, your body sore and wrapped up in Joe’s sheets, and Joe himself. Joe was sound asleep, fully koala bear hugging you with his head on your chest. God, how does he look so perfect this early in the morning? His dirty blonde curls were sprawled out against your chest and his lips were curled up, almost smiling. Your eyes moved to his back, a few red scratches still visible. You made a mental note that you should probably trim down on the length of your acrylics if this was going to become a common thing for you two, smiling at the thought of what unfolded the night before. You freed your hand from under the sheets and moved it around his back, hoping to soothe any pain you caused. 

The two of you had stumbled into his house late last night after a delicious dinner and wine tasting at a local winery. You two had a few too many glasses of wine and were lucky you made it home in one piece. 

 Flashback to last night 

“I don’t think I’ve ever had that many glasses of wine in one sitting before,” you slurred as Joe led you inside the kitchen.

“Me either, next time make sure I stop after the 3rd glass. And it’s a good thing we got someone to take us back and forth,” he said as he took off his jacket and went to get you both some water. 

“Literally. If you were to drive I think we’d end up in the Ohio River,” you deadpanned. 

“Haha, really funny,” Joe said as he handed you a glass of water. 

“God my feet feel like they’re on fire,”. You wailed out while taking a sip of the icy cold beverage.

Joe looked over at you and saw you eyeing your feet. You were wearing a short skin-tight black dress; one of his favorites. The low cut of the dress highlighted your neck which had his favorite part of your outfit. The necklace he gave you for your 1 month anniversary. A simple pendant with the letter “J”. After he gave you that necklace, you never took it off. It became a part of you, and he noticed that. 

Joe crouched down and began untying your heels. 

“Joe you don’t have to do that,” you cooed while twirling your fingers through his hair. 

“I don’t have to, but I want to,” he said while flashing you a smile.

He helped you step out of your heels and back onto the ground. Once he got back up he wrapped his big hands around your waist and your hands immediately found their home around his neck and into his hair again.

You inched your face a little closer to his and pressed a delicate kiss onto his soft pink lips.

“Hi,” you whisper against his lips. This time, he pressed a soft kiss on your nose.

“Hi,” he whispered back, staring into your eyes.

“Tonight was really fun. Thank you for always knowing how to get my mind off of things,” you say while staring into his baby blues. 

“No need to thank me Y/N. I know how hard you work and how things can become overwhelming. I’m glad that I can get your mind off of things, even if it’s for a little bit,” 

He wasn’t wrong. Things often become too much for you back in LA and coming to Joe was your escape. Being with him blocked out the outside noise, you would completely forget about whatever was bothering you. You guys would often end up doing the most random things together, without any plan, but that was okay. Those nights where you’d end up eating Chinese takeout on the floor while building a new Lego set were your favorites. The hot summer days where you both would spend the entire afternoon attached to each other in the pool was one of your favorite ways to destress, it was just the two of you. He is your shelter in the hurricane that is your life. 

For Joe, it was very similar. Anytime football would get too real, he’d come straight to you. You were always there whenever he needed to vent or talk something out, knowing you’d always listen. You had been to every single one of his games so far and were always waiting for him in the suite after. Whether he was upset after a shitty game or on Cloud 9, you were always there waiting with open arms. And he loved it. He loved being able to share his high moments with you, even if you had to see some of his lows. Your relationship hadn’t become public yet, which you two were incredibly grateful for. You both were incredibly private people and wanted to take in as much as you could before the whole world had an opinion of your romance. Getting to know each other in private, away from prying eyes, was a blessing.

The two of you continued to stare into each other's eyes, you found yourself once again getting lost in his. 

You felt Joe’s hand migrate to your ass, giving it a soft squeeze.“Getting handsy now aren’t we, Burrow,” you softly giggled. 

“Can’t help it if my girl looks so goddamn beautiful in this dress,” he said matter-of-factly. 

“I appreciate the flattery Mr. Burrow, but do you need something from me or are you just being a flirt” you teased.

“I need you,” he blurted out. 

Your heart almost beat out of your chest when you heard him say that. You and Joe haven’t taken that step in your relationship. You’ve had your fair share of heated make-outs that occasionally involve wandering hands, but nothing like that has happened, yet. It’s not that you didn’t want to, god you wanted to. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to climb him like a tree. His perfectly sculpted chest, his muscular arms, those thighs, and that face. He made you weak in the knees, and he was well aware. He never pressured you to go there, letting you know that it’s okay to take things slow. But tonight you didn’t feel like taking it slow. 

“Then show me, Joe,” you said as you felt your arousal shoot up.

Joe immediately picked you up, bridal style, causing you to let out a shriek. Your arms wrapped around his neck as he launched you both up the stairs, taking the steps 2 at a time, eventually rushing into the bedroom.

“Joe, slow down!” You squeak out while laughing. 

He carefully laid you on his bed admiring you for a second; you looked perfect, even with messy hair and smudged makeup. Joe moved onto the bed and started placing soft butterfly kisses up your arm, right up to that spot on your neck that he knows you love.

“Joe, please,” You whimpered, fully implying you wanted more with the tone of your voice.

Joe removed himself from your neck, looked into your eyes, and said “Are you sure?”. 

You smiled and said “Absolutely,”. 

He then captured your lips in a passionate and deep kiss. You felt like kissing him till your lips fell off, it was like heaven when you two would connect. Slowly, both of your clothes ended up on the floor and those passion-filled kisses turned messy and sloppy. You felt those butterflies in your stomach again as he was kissing his way down your body. You did not doubt that Joe would be careful with you, and you knew he wanted this just as much as you did. 

End of Flashback

You decided to go back to sleep since it was still pretty early and you know Joe was tired from last night. You woke up a few hours later to the smell of cinnamon and coffee. 

“Mmmm,” You say as you stretch out. You didn’t feel any weight on you anymore so Joe must have woken up. You looked around the room and didn’t see him anywhere so you decided to freshen up in his bathroom and head downstairs. When you entered the bathroom you saw one of his shirts (a purple long sleeve LSU shirt aka one of your favs) on the counter with a sticky note saying “For you :)”. You put on the soft shirt (which was way too big) and start fixing your messy hair before heading downstairs. 

You walk into the kitchen and see the dining table decked out with a vase of pink carnations (which happens to be your favorite flower), 2 plates of French toast, and a smoothie for Joe. You also noticed a mug of coffee which made you smile. Joe knew that you would be a zombie the whole day if you didn’t have your daily morning coffee.  Joe was too busy cooking the bacon to notice you coming downstairs, so you walked up behind him and wrapped your hands around him from behind.

“Good morning sexy chef,” you murmured against his back.

“Tryna get me going again?” He teased. 

“You wish, last night was a damn workout. I need at least 3 hours to recover before we go at it again,” you giggled.  

You heard his soft laugh before he spun around and wrapped his hands around your waist. “Well, we will def be repeating that. “Sooner the better,” he added. 

“Horndog,” you said as you pressed a kiss on his cheek.

“Only for you babe,” he says before going back to the bacon. “I’m almost done with this, you can sit at the table.”

“Damn, quarterback, perfect boyfriend, and chef? Impressive job portfolio,” you say while walking to the table and sitting down. 

Joe finished cooking the bacon and sat down across from you. “The French toast is a little burnt, I got distracted by the TV,” he admitted. “They were showing this month’s Top 10 funniest cat videos.” 

You burst out laughing and say “Guess I should add Cat Lady to your job portfolio too,”

You two spent the morning digging into the delicious breakfast Joe had prepared, even though the French toast was slightly burnt. He talked about the upcoming football season and how excited he was for the new offensive schemes they had come up with. After breakfast, you both ended up on the couch and decided to play a round of go fish. You gave him some album updates, which he’d constantly ask for, and even played one of your demos for him. 

“Y/N this is amazing,” he said softly. The song he had just heard was called “Sweet Nothing”, and you weren't planning on ever letting anyone hear it because of how intimate and special it was. A big part of what you did involved you being in the public eye a lot, which allowed everyone to nitpick and talk about your life. It was exhausting how often people would comment on your relationships, friendships, career, body, and everything in between. They always expected you to be perfect in every aspect and when you weren’t, they would make it known. You had written about how Joe never expected anything from you like everyone else did. Being with him was easy and you knew you could always go to him whenever the background noise would get too loud. And now here he was, listening to those feelings you had a hard time saying out loud. 

“Thank you. To be honest I wasn’t planning on letting anyone hear that,” you say while looking down and fidgeting with your rings. 

“Really?” he asked. “It’s really good, and I’m not just saying that because I’m your boyfriend.” 

“Yep. I love it, I really do. I think it’s one of the best songs I’ve written so far, but I feel like it’s too bare and the fans won’t understand the real meaning behind the song. And I feel like they won’t like it.” 

“And that’s exactly why you should release it. I know the real you, and that is the real you,” he says while pointing at your phone. Screw the fans, you should do what makes you happy.” he says before reaching for your hand, giving it a tight squeeze. “You make music because that makes you happy and you shouldn’t have to worry about what people will say. If they have an issue with you doing what you want, then they are sure as hell not fans.” 

You got up on your knees and jumped onto Joe’s body, making you both lay flat against each other on the couch. 

“How do you always know what to say,” you beam while prepping soft kisses all over his face. 

Your heart felt like it was about to explode. It only took a few months for someone you just met to understand you more than people following your journey over the past few years. Joe’s words felt like a warm comforting hug, and they always made you feel like everything was going to be okay. You valued his words so much, you trusted him so much, and he loved that you were so open and vulnerable with him. He knew that opening up was difficult for you, and he felt at peace knowing you felt comfortable confiding in him. You weren't holding back anymore. You were 100% open and honest with him and he never took advantage of it. Your fears of getting hurt were fading away.

——————————————————

present day:

You kiss on sidewalks, You fight and you talk

One night he wakes, Strange look on his face,

Pauses, then says, “You’re my Best Friend”

And you knew what it was, He is in Love

“Y/N?” was all you heard as you felt your shoulder shake. “Did I lose you there?” Joe asked. 

“What?” you questioned as you looked up at him. You were back in the fort Joe built for you two. 

“I was asking what you thought of the house,” he says as he plays with your hair. “Is something wrong?” he asks. 

“Oh. Sorry, I must have dozed off for a second,” you lied, not admitting you were caught in a series of flashbacks. “I think it’s amazing. It’s sooo big and has so much potential.” you continue. 

“Yeah, it is pretty big,” he says with a sigh. You look up at him and immediately sense the change in his tone plus the dejected look on his face, “Is that not what you wanted?” you say with concern. “I thought you wanted a big house.” 

“I did, I do. I just don’t want to be alone in this big of a house when you aren’t here,” he confessed, feeling slightly embarrassed as if he didn’t have other things to occupy his free time. “Unless,” he added.

“Unless what?” you asked. 

He hesitated before saying, “Move in with me”. 

It took a few moments for your brain to register what he said to you. You immediately sat up, as did he. You were about to say something but he cut you off before you could.

“Y/N. These past 6 months have been nothing short of peaceful and amazing. Being with you brings me the balance I need in my life. I know that if I ever fly too high or get lost, I have someone who can find me and bring me back down. You are everything I’ve ever wanted in life, and now you’re everything I need.” he says. 

“You’re my biggest cheerleader, my support system, my safety net, but most importantly.” He pauses and says, "You're my best friend.” “And I love you.” he finishes. 

Those 3 words. The 3 words that you’ve wanted to say to him for months but didn’t because you weren’t entirely sure if he felt the same way. Those 3 words just came out of his mouth, and he meant it. He loved you more than anything and he needed to make it known. He needed to wake up to your smile every morning. He needed to hear your voice echo through the halls of the house. You made him feel loved, and he needed you to know that.

You didn’t realize the hot tears streaming down your cheeks until Joe lifted his hand and started wiping them.

“Y/N, are you okay?” he asks, feeling nervous since you didn’t respond to anything he just said. 

You started crying even harder. He loved you. He really loved you. 

“Y/N you’re scaring me”.

“Shut up,” you said before you put your hands on his face and brought him in for a passionate kiss. 

You kissed him for a few heartbeats and finally whispered against his lips “I love you,” loud enough for just him to hear before you captured his lips in another kiss.

He stops kissing you and stares into your eyes for a moment, getting lost in them like you do with his eyes. “So about my first question,” he beams. 

“Yes silly, I’ll move in with you,” you giggle. “Someone has to make sure that you don’t burn this place down while making french toast. You got lucky last time,” you laugh out while remembering that morning. 

“Haha, really funny babe,” he says before pulling you into a hug. The warmth of your bodies pressed together was the most comforting feeling in the world. Joe spent the rest of the night telling you how much he loved you, and you reciprocated the feeling by showing him how much you loved him.

We’re in love.

—The End—

[joeyb1989]

i think he knows* - joe burrow

word count: 5.1k

pairing: joe burrow x singer!reader

warnings: smut (MINORS DNI), fluff, cussing, pet names

a/n: this was requested (i think awhile ago😭 im sorry girl) BY MY LITERAL TWIN @starsinthesky5 !! ily girlll hope this lived up to your expectations 🥰 this is based off the taylor swift song, i think he knows. i think a lot of this is just me yapping, so i’m so sorry 😇 i hope you all enjoy

——

“Babyyyy,” Joe whined while sticking his bottom lip out in a pout

“Uh uh, “ you wagged your pointer finger at him, “We’re not doing any kind of funny business until you finish packing.”

“Please Y/n, maybe it will give me some motivation,” Joe pleaded with a smirk

“By ‘motivation’ you mean fool around for the rest of the day and last minute pack in the morning so you forget a million things? Well let’s do it then!” you chirped

“Really?” Joe asked with a smile

“No! Joey, I promise we can do whatever you want after you pack. " you smiled. "I’ll help you.”

“Okay,” Joe sighed, “but only if you take your shirt off while you help me.”

“Joe,” you said sternly

“Okay, okay. I’m just kidding, baby,” Joe chuckled, putting his hands up in defense before kissing your forehead. He intertwined his fingers with yours and led you to your shared bedroom.

Thirty minutes later

“Okay,” you smiled, “You have all of your outfits and necessities packed. Are you missing anything else?”

“Nope. I’ve got everything I need right in front of me,” Joe smiled down at you, putting his large hands on both sides of your waist

“Are you just saying that because you're trying to get into my pants?” you teased with a raised eyebrow

“No, I’m saying that because I’m madly in love with you,” Joe said lowly. You were shocked at the vulnerability in his words. Joe never passed up the opportunity to tell you how much he loved you, but you would never get used to it; even though you had been with him for over two years at this point.

“I love you so much,” you said as you pecked his lips. When you pulled away you realized how his black t-shirt was showing off his toned, muscular arms. The arms that have held you up many times while he’s thrust into you. “But seriously, you have everything, right?”

“Yes ma’am,” Joe whispered.

“Okay, I’ve had enough. I need him,” you thought. You needed those plump lips all over you, you needed to feel his scruff on your pussy, you needed to pull on his wavy hair while he fucked you into oblivion, and you needed to hear his grunts and groans while he chased his pleasure. He was a need in itself.

“Great,” you said, pulling him in for a kiss that quickly heated up. His tongue traced your bottom lip, begging for entrance. His hands pulled you closer to his warm body as his mouth detached from yours, as he left a trail of kisses down to the sensitive spot behind your ear, where he began to suck and softly nip at the skin.

“Joe,” you whimpered as his hands found your ass, picking you up with ease. He sat down on the bed and continued to kiss and suck at your soft skin. He broke away from your lips to pull his your shirt over your head. His eyes landed on your orange, lace bra, one of his favorites.

“Holy shit, babe,” Joe groaned, feeling the excitement grow in his pants. “You are literally the most gorgeous woman in this entire universe.”

Joe flipped you over after unclasping your bra so that you were lying flat on the bed with Joe hovering over you. He latched his mouth to one of your sensitive nipples, while he kneaded your other breast with his large hand, repeating the action to the other. “Joey,” you moaned. Your manicured hands went under his shirt, lifting it slightly.

Joe took the hint that you wanted his shirt off so he pulled away from you to pull his shirt over his head. He unzipped your jean shorts and pulled them and your panties, that matched your bra, down all in one go.

Even though he’s seen you completely bare countless times, you suddenly got insecure under his gaze. Your hands went up to cover yourself, but Joe quickly stopped you. “Don’t hide from me, baby,” he said as he kicked his shorts and boxers off, his fully-erect and throbbing cock springing free. “You are fucking perfect.” He leaned down and wrapped your lips into a messy kiss while he brought his long fingers down to your core, moaning when he felt how wet you were.

Just as his fingers were about to pump into your core, your hand grabbed his wrist, stopping him. “Joe, wait-”

The suddenness in your voice and the grip on his hand had him immediately pulling away. “Wha- what? Are you okay? Was I too rough? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Joe blabbered out, concern surrounding his voice

“No, not at all,” you smiled, “I was going to say that I need your cock in me. Like I need you in me so bad it hurts.”

Joe’s eyes widened at your bold words, but he was so turned on that he was thinking more with his dick than his brain. He lined the tip of his cock with your entrance, sliding it in before pulling it back. “Joe, don’t tease, baby,” you whined.

You moaned out at the feeling of him pushing all the way into your dripping core. He set a relentless pace and you were practically seeing stars, but you needed more. 

“Joe- harder,” you moaned. Joe nodded, latching his mouth back onto your nipple while increasing the speed of his thrusts. Your nails went up to his back, sending scratches down it. 

Joe, in return, moaned against your breast, moving up to kiss your lips. “You are so good,” Joe moaned, “Who’s girl are you?”

“Yours,” you whimpered, hiding your face in the crook of his neck.

“That’s right, baby. All mine,” Joe growled.

“I’m so close, baby,” you said a couple of minutes later, feeling the rubber band in your belly tighten. Joe smiled, “I know honey, let yourself feel good.” He moved a hand down to where you were connected, rubbing small circles on your sensitive clit, setting off your release.

“Oh my G- God- Joe!” you screamed as your orgasm washed over you. Joe continued to fuck you through your high, making sure you rode out your pleasure for as long as possible. Joe slowed his thrusts down as your breathing returned to semi-normal. “No, don’t stop,” you smiled, “Keep going. I want you to feel good.”

Joe smiled and shook his head, “You are unreal.” Joe picked up the pace of his thrusts. They became more and more erratic as he was coming closer and closer to his own orgasm.

“Y/n… baby, you’re so good,” Joe moaned in the crook of your neck. You felt hot ropes of his cum soak your bottom half as he bit down on your shoulder to stifle his moans of pleasure.

“I love you,” Joe panted

“I love you,” you smiled tiredly.

The two of you laid there on the bed, trying to catch your breath for a few minutes. One of your hands was lightly rubbing his back, making sure to be careful of the fresh scratches. Your other hand was in his messy curls, scratching his scalp every once in a while to help relax him. Joe leaned up and pulled out of you, before rolling off the bed and heading for the bathroom. He came back a couple of minutes later with a towel, which he cleaned you up with. As much as you loved how good Joe was in bed, you loved these sweet aftercare moments even more. They made you fall even more in love with him; you were absolutely obsessed with Joe. Even when you two just started dating, many people asked why you and Joe had to be together all the time. It was like you were 17 again and no one understood.

Flashback to two and half years ago - Paycor Stadium

“Hey, Y/n, right?” you heard a man behind you ask. You were at an open practice at the Bengals training camp, where the night before, you had just played a sold-out show at the stadium. You turned around to see a tall, muscular, and very hot man standing before you. He had beautiful, ocean-blue eyes and a soft smile that had formed on his plump lips.

“Yeah, hi, you’re uh… Joe? Right? Or am I thinking of a different quarterback?” you giggled

“Yeah, I’m Joe,” he laughed

“Sorry I sounded so unsure, I don’t really watch football. My dad has a love-hate relationship with you though,” you smiled

“Oh, really? How come?” Joe asked

“Well, he’s really impressed with what you did while at LSU. He’s been a fan since he was a kid. You should've seen him when you guys won the Natty. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him wear so much purple,” you laughed, “He was so upset when you got drafted here, he’s a Steelers fan.”

“Damn, tough crowd,” Joe laughed, “It’s good I’ve already impressed the parents, though.”

“Why, you wanna meet my parents?” you teased

“Yeah, we’ll see. I think that our first date tonight will decipher it,” Joe replied, nonchalantly

“Our date tonight?” you raised an eyebrow

“Yeah, I mean, a pretty girl like you deserves to go out while she’s in Cincinnati,” Joe smiled

“I- You don’t even know if I’m single,” you blushed while failing to hide a smile

“Oh, right, sorry,” Joe cleared his throat, “Are you single?” Joe asked

“...Yeah, but you know, it’s still nice to ask,” you teased

“Right, yeah, of course, my bad. So what do you say, I’ll pick you up at 8?” Joe asked

“That sounds perfect,” you smiled

After exchanging numbers and talking for a bit more, you left and went to your hotel, where you started to get ready for your date with Joe.

——

When Joe picked you up, he surprised you with flowers, opened his car door for you, and even let you control the music. All were such small gestures, but they meant the world to you.

“Are you not gonna play any of your music?” Joe teased

“Why do you like my music?” you asked with a smile. Since the demographic of your fans was mostly little girls, teens, and middle-aged women going through a divorce, you were surprised that Joe wanted to hear some of your music.

“Yeah, of course,” Joe smiled, “I’ve heard a lot of your songs on the radio over the years, but your concert the other day sealed the deal.”

“You went to the concert?” you smiled

“Yeah, I hope that’s not weird,” Joe chuckled, “I don't want you to think I’m like an obsessed fan or something.”

“No, not at all. I think it’s sweet,” you smiled. “I do have to ask though, did you… willingly go, or did someone force you? You just don’t seem like a guy to listen to music about how many guys broke my heart.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Joe began, earning a giggle from you, “This girl that my friend Ja’marr has been talking to wanted to go, and Ja’marr didn't want to go alone… so he practically dragged me there. But, I’m glad he did, because the second I saw you, I realized that you’re the most beautiful girl in the world; and after talking to you at practice today, you’re also the sweetest girl in the world. I hope to get to know you even better if you’ll let me.”

“Joe, you’re literally the sweetest guy ever, and such a gentleman. We’ve been in this car for 10 minutes and you’ve already impressed me more than I could have imagined. Also, have you seen yourself? You’re the most handsome man I’ve ever laid my eyes upon. But besides all that, I want to get to know you better too,” you smiled as Joe pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant.

You didn't know where this confidence was coming from, but you didn't mind it. You had never been able to tell any guy how you felt, but that was all changing with Joe. Everything was changing with Joe. No guy had ever made you smile or laugh so much. No guy had ever been so sure to tell you how he felt. You were absolutely obsessed with him, and you think that he knows. Maybe he felt the same way about you.

——

The rest of the date went by smoothly. The two of you learned so much about each other. You shared your childhoods, your passions, and your dreams with one another. You were like two puzzle pieces coming together to complete the picture. It felt so right.

You and Joe saw each other every chance you got, which only intensified after you guys became an official couple. His footsteps led to where you couldn't stop going with each chance you got.

End of flashback

After Joe got done cleaning you up, he crawled back into bed with you, laying his head on your chest. After a few minutes of whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears, you look over on the nightstand and see the time.

“Babe, you gotta go to practice,” you said, kissing his forehead

“Nooo,” Joe whined

“J, it’s just for three hours,” you soothed

“That’s too long to be away from you,” Joe said as he stuffed his face into your neck

“Joe,” you giggled, “You’ll be okay, just go out there, play football, prepare yourself to be sick of me, and then come home and be annoyed at how crazy I’m gonna be acting because of our flight in the morning.”

“I could never be sick of you,” Joe cooed, “I love how crazy you get when we travel.”

“Well since we’re going to Nashville, it’s gonna be so much worse,” you joked.

Joe was taking you to an NFL banquet in Nashville as his plus-one. Nashville holds a lot of history for you since it’s where your singing career began.

“And I’m prepared,” Joe smiled, getting up from the bed. He helped you sit up before he picked up all your clothes off the floor and helped you put them back on. He put his clothes back on before he helped you stand up, “I love you, baby,” Joe whispered, kissing your forehead, “I’ll be back soon. Don’t stress yourself out too much.”

“No promises,” you giggled, “I love you so much.”

Joe grabbed his practice bag and gave you one last kiss on the lips before he walked out the bedroom door, down the stairs, and into the garage. You sighed while looking at your almost fully packed suitcase, just missing your makeup bag, which you’ll pack in the morning, and your dress for the banquet.

You walk over to the closet, looking through your dresses. Your eyes landed on a dark blue dress that you wore to the VMAs a couple of years ago. It was the first time you and Joe were at an event together – no one knew you were dating, even if there were rumors.

“That was a goooooood night,” you thought, recalling the steamy sex you and Joe had in your hotel room that night.

Flashback to the VMAs a couple of years ago

“Excuse me, ma’am, I don't believe that we’ve met,” you heard a man say from behind you, one you could recognize anywhere, “I’m Joe.”

You laughed at your adorable boyfriend’s joke, “Joe.”

“I’ve missed you. It’s so boring when I don’t have my own personal comedian with me,” you whined. 

“Trust me, you’ll be seeing a lot of me tonight,” Joe whispered in your ear, making a shiver go down your spine, “It’s taking everything in me to not rip this dress off of you right now.”

“Likewise, this outfit is really doing something to me,” you said, your eyes scanning over his dark blue dress shirt and black pants.

“We’re matching,” Joe smiled, “the rumors might only intensify”

“I don’t care, let people think what they want. I have you and you have me, that’s all I need,” you beamed.

“I wanna kiss you so bad right now-” Joe began, getting cut off by an announcer who told everyone to take their seats since the commercial break was almost over.

“You’ll just have to wait, babe,” you teased as you walked back to your seat

After the commercial break was over, your category for Artist of the Year was announced. You were up against big greats in the industry, some of which inspired you to become an artist yourself. 

As the presenter opened up the card with the winner’s name inside, you grew more and more anxious. Your palms started getting sweaty and your heart rate was picking up. You looked over at Joe, the only person who could calm all your anxious thoughts, to see that he was already looking at you. He smiled at you and mouthed a simple “I love you” in your direction. Those freshly-new eight letters meant the world to you and calmed all of your anxious thoughts. It was like it was just the two of you in that room. You almost didn't even hear your name being called, signifying that you won.

You saw everyone around you, especially Joe who stood up first, stand up and started cheering for you, but you were only looking at Joe. You wanted nothing more than to hug and kiss him because you wouldn't be able to do any of this without him, but you couldn't.

After the show

“There’s my girl,” Joe smiled as you ran up to him in the lobby of your hotel, “I’m so proud of you, Y/n. Endlessly proud.”

“I love you, Joe,” you smiled as he led you towards the elevator, pushing the button for the top floor

“Let me just show you, how much I love you and how proud of you I am,” Joe said as the elevator door closed, letting his hands fall to your ass as he kissed down your neck, finding your sweet spot.

“Joe,” you breathlessly said as you two ascended to the top floor, anticipation sizzling through your body at the thought of what was going to happen next.

End of flashback

“Don’t stop. Joe, don’t fucking stop,” you moaned as your head fell against the cold shower wall.

After you picked out your dress for the banquet, you started dinner around the time Joe got home from practice. He helped you finish cooking and was particularly touchy. You knew where this was heading, and was hoping to make it through dinner before he wanted… dessert.

Joe scarfed down his food so you were left finishing yours while Joe’s hand was inching up and up your thigh. Every touch was making your need for him worse. After you finished eating, Joe immediately took you to the shower.

“Fuck, baby,” Joe moaned, “You feel so good.”

His thrusts were getting more and more erratic as you felt yourself getting closer to your high. “Jo- Joe I-” you struggled to moan. 

“I know baby, it’s okay. I’m here,” Joe kissed your forehead as he pinched your clit, allowing your high to wash over you.

“Oh my God- Joe!” you screamed as he shot his load into you while your cunt milked him of every drop.

He held your limp body against him for a few minutes while you both calmed down from your intense highs.

“You’re so good, baby. I think I passed out for a minute,” Joe chuckled, out of breath

“God, me too,” you laughed, pressing a couple of kisses to his heaving chest.

After actually showering, you two were cuddling in bed, watching a random episode of The Office.

He was tracing small shapes onto your back, your legs were intertwined, and you were running your fingers through the scruff on his face. “You’re so pretty,” you cooed at him, earning a blush from him, “You have this boyish look that I like in a man.”

“Are you saying I’m not manly enough?” Joe teased

“No,” you playfully slapped in his chest, “Trust me, you’re the manliest guy I’ve ever met, but you have this duality to you. Like you’re big, strong, and would probably fight a bear for me, but you’re also always down to cuddle with me, build legos with me, cook or bake with me, take care of me when I’m not feeling well, open the car door for me. The duality is what makes me love you so much.”

“I love you,” Joe said as he kissed your cheek

The next day - Nashville, TN

“This place is so cool!” Joe raved, taking a picture of the bridge that led to the stadium.

After landing in Nashville, you and Joe stopped at the hotel before going out to explore the city. Well, it was more Joe exploring and you just showing him your favorite places. It made you so happy to see Joe enjoying the city that has meant so much to you for so long.

“Joe you’ve literally played football in that stadium,” you giggled, knowing he’s been in this city before.

“Yeah… but I’ve never got to explore the city, especially with you,” Joe smiled

After walking around the city together for an hour or so, you two headed back to the hotel to get ready for a show at the Grand Ole Opry, before you two went out to a fancy steakhouse restaurant in downtown Nashville.

Now you were back in the hotel, in your pajamas, doing your skincare routine in the bathroom when you felt two strong arms wrap around you from behind. “I missed you,” Joe mumbled, looking at you through the mirror with nothing but awe in his eyes.

“Joey, I’ve been in here for like 10 minutes, and you’ve been in the other room,” you giggled as he pressed light kisses to your shoulder.

“I don’t care,” Joe smiled, “You’re so beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you blushed, "You don't look so bad yourself. I love this prince's hair you've got going on right now."

"I might buzz it before the season starts," Joe said

"What?" you asked, not expecting that

"Yeah, I might buzz it first and then bleach it," Joe said, "If you won't like it, I won't do it though."

"Joe, I think you're incapable of not looking like a total snack. I'll love you no matter what you do. Maybe the bleached buzz will bring out some of your other features that are looked over because of the hair," you smiled

“It’s so good to be here, in your second hometown,” Joe let out a sigh of contentment, meeting your eyes in the mirror, knowing exactly what you were thinking. That was exactly what you had told him on your first date.

“Remember when you met my family for the first time?” you asked, taking out your contact lenses.

“You mean, remember when I was scared shit-less by your dad? Yeah, I remember,” Joe chuckled.

Flashback to when Joe met your parents

Joe was so scared to meet your parents, he wanted to make a good impression solely because he wanted you to be the one for him.

“Joe, you're gonna be okay,” you said, grabbing his hand, stopping him from picking at his thumbnail, “They’re gonna love you because I love you.”

“You’re dad’s a Steelers fan, baby,” Joe sighed

“That means nothing to him as long as his daughter is happy,” you smiled, kissing both of his hands

“Okay,” Joe sighed, “We should probably get going if we wanna make it there on time.”

“Okay, let’s go, J,” you stood up from the bed, grabbing his hand and intertwining his fingers with yours.

——

“Yeah he was the first guy I met at LSU, we just kinda threw a football back and forth for a while,” Joe smiled, telling your father about how he and Ja’marr became best friends

“I’ve never seen a football team that was almost like a machine,” your dad said

“Thank you, sir. I mean, I think we had a great amount of talent on the team. It was just in the stars to happen,” Joe said.

Your parents have asked Joe every question under the sun. They asked about his life, career, and relationship with you. It was going so well that you knew they would approve of him. After you all finished eating, your dad asked Joe to help him with something in the backyard. He said that he could “use Joe’s freakish height.”

“What did you need help with, sir?” Joe asked, stepping out onto the backyard patio.

“Oh, I don’t,” your dad laughed, “Just wanted to talk to you alone for a bit.”

“Oh, okay,” Joe nodded with a confused look, “What about?”

“Just wanted to thank you,” your dad smiled

“Thank me?” Joe furrowed his brows

“Yeah, I’ve never seen my daughter so happy and that’s all because of you, Joe,” your dad began, “In fact, this is the first time she’s wanted to bring a guy home. Her mother and I have had to force her to bring the others.”

“Well, your daughter makes it easy to love her. I love Y/n so much, sir. She makes me so happy. I promise that I’ll never hurt her. I hope I can make her happy like that for the rest of her life,” Joe smiled

“Welcome to the family, son,” your dad patted him on the back.

Meanwhile, you and your mom were in the kitchen cleaning up. “Joe is so perfect for you, Y/n. It’s like you two are the same person. And you look so in love with him.”

“I am,” you smiled, thinking about Joe. “I don’t know why I’m so obsessed with him. I’ve never felt like this with a guy, Mom. If only he knew.”

“I think he knows, Y/n,” your mom smiled, "And he's equally as obsessed with you."

End of flashback

——

The next day

It was the day of the NFL banquet being held at a venue near Nissan Stadium. You and Joe were getting ready in the hotel room. You were in the bathroom, putting your earrings in while Joe was in the bedroom putting his shoes on.

“Hey babe,” Joe said, walking into the bathroom, “what time do we- woah.”

Joe froze when he saw how sexy and beautiful you looked in your dress. It was a light pink dress with ruffle straps. You looked absolutely heavenly. “Baby,” Joe smiled, “You look gorgeous.” He began kissing down your neck, careful not to leave any purple marks.

“Joey,” you giggled, “we’re gonna be late.”

“I wish we didn't have to go, I’d rather stay in with you, mamas,” Joe smirked

Joe knew that this pet name drove you wild. “When we get back, Joey. I promise.” “If I can make it that long,” you muttered under your breath

“Hm?” Joe asked, getting your heels for you

“Nothing,” you smiled up at him.

——

Once you two arrived at the banquet, Joe introduced you to some NFL guys that you had not met yet, most of them being his old LSU teammates. Afterward, you all ate as many franchise owners talked about the upcoming season. It wasn't long before some WAGs pulled you away from Joe after you all finished eating, but he made sure to keep an eye on you to make sure you were safe.

About 30 minutes later, Joe walked up to you with a cold flute of champagne. “Those hands around a cold glass make me wanna know that body like it’s mine,” you thought to yourself at the sight, “They’d look even better if I could wear them like a necklace”

“Sorry ladies, I’m gonna steal Y/n away from you all,” Joe smiled, pulling you away from your girls.

“Y/n, I cannot take this anymore,” Joe whispered in your ear when you were far enough away from everyone, "I wanna rip this dress off of you.”

You were completely drunk from the drinks you had so, you weren't really comprehending anything Joe was saying. “You don’t need to rip it off, there’s a zipper for a reason,” you giggled

“Okay, well let’s leave anyway since you’re like two seconds from blacking out,” Joe smiled, taking your champagne glass out of your hand and leading you out of the venue.

As you two were walking down 16th Avenue, it started raining. “Okay, Y/n we gotta take these heels off,” Joe said as he bent down to take them off, “We can’t have you falling, sweetheart. Neither of us needs to go to the ER tonight. Especially when you're this drunk."

"I'm not drunk," you scoffed as you put your hands on Joe's shoulders to steady yourself, "I'm fabulous!"

Joe chuckled at your drunken state before standing back up to his full height and pressing a kiss to your lips.

“You’re so perfect,” you smiled as he held your heels for you in one hand, while the other was securely wrapped around your waist, as you two continued your walk to the parking garage.

“Just for you,” Joe smiled and kissed your cheek.

“Oh my god, how cliché would it be if I started skipping in the rain,” you giggled.

“Y/n…” Joe laughed as you started drunkenly skipping down the avenue. After letting you have your fun, he fast-walked to catch up to you so you didn't fall on the concrete sidewalk.

“I’m so happy that you’re my girlfriend,” Joe smiled, “No one makes me happier than you.”

“Well you better lock it down,” you teased

Little did you know about the ring sitting in his pocket right now - one he was waiting for the perfect moment to get on one knee for. He knew it had to be soon because good ones never wait.

Once Joe got you to the car safely, he started the drive back to the hotel. His left hand was gripping the steering wheel while his right one was on your thigh, rubbing soft circles on it. You looked up at him, the moonlight making him look like a Greek god. His indigo eyes, his lyrical smile that you loved to write into your songs, his jaw flexed when he checked his blind spot. It was intoxicating, more than the alcohol in your system.

“You know I could drive,” you giggled

“Babe, you can’t. You're really drunk,” Joe chuckled

“No, like it’s a metaphor. I feel so in control of this relationship. I’ve never felt like that with a guy before,” you smiled

“Well, if you were driving, where would you wanna go?” Joe asked

“I think you know,” you smiled, referring to the fact that you would just drive for miles and miles with Joe because you would be with him.

——

the end :)

[yardsards]

tired of everyone on here reducing icepick joe down to haha funny stabby man

like i DO like the jokes and memes, don't get me wrong, but like

there's SO MUCH to his character and he really does tie into goncharov's main themes

like. we're told early on the he was put into a mental institution as a young man due to his breakdown and inconsolable grief at losing his older brother giorno (who was his only living family and basically a father figure to him!)

wherein he was mistreated and was HEAVILY IMPLIED to be scheduled for a lobotomy before he escaped. (in fact, some interpretations say he actually received and survived the lobotomy, citing his manner of speaking and his lack of impulse control. but that's a whole separate discussion because i can honestly see both sides)

and then he turns to a life of crime because that's basically the only option he had left, after being deprived of so many opportunities in his youth (and the fear of being caught and involuntarily institutionalized again)

and him eventually leaning into the role of "violent madman" that the world thrust onto him for showing signs of mental illness in a way that was nonviolent, but was loud and inconvenient and impossible for those around him to simply push away.

and him taking his rage out at the same world that not only killed his brother but forced him to undergo years of psychiatric abuse and basically dehumanization

(like seriously, how do SO MANY people miss the connection between him using an icepick as a weapon and the concept of an ICEPICK lobotomy)

which. yknow. ties heavily into the film's theme of people being pushed to society's margins and forced into a life of crime, instead of given the help they desperately needed

and then like.

his fucking death scene. he tries to put a stop to the cycle of senseless violence, taking the fall for andrey, telling michailov that *he* was the one who killed luciana

him kneeling down and allowing michailov to bash him through the skull with his very own icepick. it's more lobotomy symbolism; dying from the very thing he spent his whole life running from. further driving home the film's themes of repeating cycles and futility

and then, to drive it all home, that sacrifice didn't even end up stopping the cycle of violence! because andrey viewed joe as basically an older brother (mirroring joe and giorno) and tried to get revenge on michailov for killing joe.

like. come on.

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: December 3rd

————————————————————————-

Summary: “Sweater” Day on December 3rd is no exception for your boyfriend, Joe Burrow.

Warnings: fluff, mention of sex

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

————————————————————————-

December 3rd (not this year)

(y/n’s pov)

“I still remember, third of December, me in your sweater. You said it looked better on me than it did you.”

I had heard the TikTok sound so many times this morning, lying in bed by myself.

Joe had to go into the facility today for a meeting and some other thing that I couldn't understand as he explained it to me last night.

It was stupid to feel so lonely at the moment just from watching so many stupid couple TikToks, but they seriously did make me miss my boyfriend.

The bed started to get less and less comforting as it got colder from the lack of Joe’s body heat and the imprint on the mattress of his muscular body began to disappear.

Eventually rolling out of bed at 10:30, I washed my face and did my morning routine before making my way into Joe and I’s shared walk-in closet.

Joe’s side of the closet was a collage of color. Like a rainbow’s colors had been rearranged and hung on hangers.

I focused back on my side, slid a pair of leggings on, and went to grab a sweatshirt but stopped before my fingertips brushed the fabric.

Would it count if I took one of Joe’s?

Looking over my shoulder at his sweatshirt section, I thought about the idea before ultimately deciding not to.

He has to give it to you for it to count.

—

When Joe got home he walked over to the couch where I was sitting and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“Hi, baby.” - Joe

“Hey, how was your day?” - you

“It was okay, better now that I'm with you.” - Joe smiled

He went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water before plopping down next to me on the couch. Joe grabbed my legs and maneuvered them to where they'd drape over his lap.

“Missed you.” - Joe grinned

“I missed you too.” - you smiled

Joe began rubbing small shapes on my thighs as I picked out a show to watch.

“You stay warm today? It's getting cold out.” - Joe

“Yeah, but I'm definitely warmer with your body heat.” - you laughed

“Yeah? Does it get cold in bed without me?” - Joe

“Oh yeah, like a lot colder. You're like my personal cuddleable heater.” - you

My cheeks heated up at Joe’s laugh filling the room as he squeezed my thigh.

“Glad I have some sort of a purpose babe.” - Joe

“You have more purpose than just that! I didn't mean for it to sound like-” - you

“I know, y/n. I was just teasing, baby.” - Joe

I smiled and pecked his lips before getting comfortable and watching the show.

—

After dinner and a couple of glasses of wine, Joe walked me upstairs while holding me bridal-style to the bedroom.

Multiple rounds of pure bliss and love-making later… we were washing each other off in the shower.

“Babe, I'm so tired I might fall over.” - Joe

“I just gotta wash your hair then we can hop out, brush our teeth, and you can head to bed while I blow dry my hair.” - you

“That sounds terrible.” - Joe

“How so?” - you frowned

“You washing my hair is always relaxing as hell I'll prob fall over and sleep, and going to bed without you is not something I want to do.” - Joe

“Joey.” - you giggled and rubbed his naked chest

He was giving me a serious look, so I knew he meant it, but that was the only way so I eventually left his arms to grab the shampoo and scrubbed his hair.

“Dont fall asleep on me, Joe.” - you

“I’m trying…” - Joe

As I was rinsing his hair out, his head slowly fell forward onto my shoulder.

“Baby…” - you rubbed Joe’s back

Joe groaned out of annoyance and turned the water off before quickly hopping out of the shower.

I dried myself off and grabbed the towel away from Joe after watching him stand there for a minute just barely dragging it across his body.

“Joseph.” - you giggled

“I’m too tired to put my undies on.” - Joe smiled

“Listen. I love you, but I'm not putting your undies on for you.” - you rolled your eyes

“You’re the one that took ‘em off!” - Joe smirked

I playfully shoved his chest as we both laughed but I eventually gave in and slipped Joe’s boxers on for him as he leaned against the bathroom wall with his eyes closed.

“This is wife stuff, not girlfriend stuff, Joseph Lee.” - you smiled, knowing Joe hated the teasing

“Soon baby, I promise.” - Joe

Truthfully, I didn't care at all when Joe proposed. I just knew it got under his skin when the guys or his family mentioned it. After putting the man’s underwear on for him, he was due for some teasing.

“You know I don't care when it happens. I know forever is with you, Joey.” - you hugged him

“I know. It is about time though, I mean seriously you've been waiting forever for my ass to just do it.” - Joe

“Joe… I don't care about having the title of being married. I am excited to marry you one day though, even if it isn't today or any time soon, I know I'll be your wife one day.” - you

“You will be baby. But… speaking of today. I need to give you something.” - Joe

I watched him leave the bathroom and a moment later he came back with one of his sweatshirts in his hand.

Once he was standing in front of me, he neatly folded the sweater up and handed it to me with an outstretched arm.

“Here ya go, happy sweater day.” - Joe grinned

I took the sweatshirt from his hand with a confused smile on my face and slipped it over my head. It went down to right above my knee as I was wrapped in warmth and Joe’s scent.

“I also grabbed you some panties.” - Joe

“Thanks.” - you smiled and slipped them on before wrapping your arms around Joe

Joe put his arms around my waist and smiled down at me, proud of his gesture.

“How’d you know?” - you giggled

“A couple of the guys at the facility were saying their girls were all asking for one of their sweatshirts because of this song on TikTok that mentions sweaters and December 3rd. I figured I'd be an extra good boyfriend today and give it to you before you asked.” - Joe grinned

“Oh I love you so much.” - you kissed him

My hands cupped Joe’s face as we kissed and kissed.

Ultimately, Joe was the one to pull away.

“As much as I love this moment and kissing you, I'm gonna brush my teeth and go to bed.” - Joe

“Okay.” - you laughed

Joe and I brushed our teeth and once we were both done he kissed me goodnight, telling me “I love you” and left the bathroom.

He had shut the door behind him knowing I was going to have the blow dryer on, and he was going to go knock out.

After I was finished in the bathroom I took a good look at myself in the mirror and couldn't stop smiling. It was the little things that Joe did that made me love him so much.

When I turned the lights out and exited the bathroom, the sight and sound of Joe snoring while taking up the entire bed made me giggle to myself.

I tried my hardest not to wake him up as I scooted him onto his side and laid down on my side. He stirred for a bit but ended up just cuddling into me.

Let's just say I fell asleep feeling very happy, lucky, and loved that December 3rd.

————————————————————————-

Authors note: I promise that “Girls’ Night” is coming out next! Hopefully today!! I couldn't help but write something for today so here's something to hold you over till “Girls' Night” comes out.

Hope you enjoyed! ❤️

[augustjustice]

You're the One that I Want

@steddie-week prompts: dizzy, drunken confessions @stevieweek prompt: girls night @steddiemicrofic prompt: one | wc: 1111 words rating: T | tags: transfem steve harrington, platonic stobin, sleepovers, phone calls, love confessions

AO3 Link

When the phone rang right around eleven, Eddie had to admit he was sort of surprised.

Not that he was any stranger to nighttime phone calls. One caller in particular had become something of a regular, post-nightmare soothing sessions in the first weeks after Spring Break soon morphing into inane chats about anything and everything. 

But he knew she was busy tonight.

Eddie had been quick to learn, once he’d gotten closer to the Upside Down crew, that weekly Steve and Robin Nights were a sacred tradition. Ever since Stevie came out, the title had transformed into Girls Night, much like their very own lovely jock herself. 

The importance of the day, however, remained the same.

And, it being Thursday, Eddie definitely didn’t expect to hear from her tonight. 

Crossing the trailer, he mused over who it might be instead. Gareth, maybe, since he was still sorting out the kinks of his drum solo in Corroded Coffin’s latest song. 

“Joe’s Pool Hall,” Eddie chirped when he picked up. “We rack ‘em and stack ‘em so you don’t have to!”

“Munson!” Robin’s voice burst out over the line, loud enough Eddie pulled the phone a few inches away from his ear. “Stevie needs to tell you something!”

In the background, he could hear Stevie’s muffled Robbie, nooo.

“Stevie-Evie, come on! Tell him, tell him, tell him.” The speed at which Robin chanted her words left them slurred, tripping over each other. “Exactly what you told me. It’s like–sleepover law. You gotta.”

From the shrieks and incomprehensible arguing that broke out after, Eddie could surmise they’d fallen into a drunken scuffle.

Finally, Stevie’s voice rang out from the receiver. “Hi, Eds!” 

The happiness in her tone made actual butterflies erupt in his stomach. Goddamn, he was such a mess for this girl. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” Eddie answered, twirling the cord around one finger. “Sounds to me like you two lovely ladies are having a fun night.”

“Oh, yeah, totally. We totally were. But then Robin,” in her inebriated state, Stevie put extra emphasis on the end of her best friend’s name, “got this bright idea to play, like. All the girls’ sleepover games I missed out on because…well, you know.”

Though Stevie sounded put-out now, Eddie had no doubt the suggestion had delighted her. Indescribable fondness for both girls swelled in his chest. 

“That right? What game are you at–prank call the hottest future rock star you know?” 

“No, sillyhead!” Stevie tittered.

Eddie could practically see her, smile bright and nose scrunched up adorably. The image was so distracting, he almost missed Stevie’s next words. 

“I’m s’posed to call…” she dropped into a hushed whisper, the crinkling sound the receiver made suggesting she had cupped her hand around the phone, “my biggest crush!”

The sentence hit Eddie like a truck, nearly incomprehensible. He felt dizzy with it, the bottom of his stomach dropping out the same way it had on the Gravitron at last year’s Fourth of July Fun Fair. 

“S-Sorry, uh,” he stuttered out, “bad connection, I think. You know how shitty the service down at Forest Park can be. Cuz, for a second, I almost thought you said–”

But Stevie barrelled on, as though he hadn’t said anything at all.

“You’re the one that I want!” she sang out.

Her voice carried all the passion and fervor as the times she was alone in the car with Eddie, taunting him with her favorite new pop hit, or when she and Robin were goofing off, having a dance off after hours at work. Eddie could hear it when Robin joined in for the follow-up chorus of Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey!

The absurdity of it made Eddie cackle, momentarily distracted from the racing of his heart. 

“Harrington…did you seriously just sing Grease at me?” 

“I did not!” Stevie protested. 

Eddie wouldn’t have been surprised if she had punctuated that claim with a stamp of her foot. But she followed it up with a little hmph, contemplative. 

“–Well, yeah, okay. So what if I did? That-that isn’t the point. The point is…I want you, Eddie Munson.”

He gulped against the nervousness welling up in his throat. “Princess…you’re actually serious right now, right? This isn’t just, you know…the booze talking?”

“‘Course I’m serious, Eds. Don’t know how you didn’t notice–Robin said my mooning was getting so annoying. But that’s only cuz I’m like…totally in love with you, to be honest.” 

It wasn’t as eloquent and romantic, Eddie suspected, as a sober Stevie Harrington love confession would have been–but, heart flipping in his chest, he cherished it just as much. 

“Oh. Well, shit. Looks like…I better shape up, then.” 

And even though he knew what he was about to do would make him sound completely ridiculous–he couldn’t help but smile, knowing it would be totally worth it. 

So, Eddie took a deep breath and belted back, “Cuz my heart is set on you!”

“Eddie!” Stevie gasped like he had just performed a magic trick. “You know Grease?!”

“Stevie, you gotta swear you’re gonna take that one to your grave. But…sure I do, darling. You think I wouldn’t go out and see one of your favorite movies?”

“Really?”

The excitement in her voice was tempered by a sudden hint of shyness, the kind she usually hid behind a bold, confident exterior. Eddie knew exactly what that was like–and he felt lucky, that Stevie trusted him enough to let him see the vulnerability underneath.  

“Really really. I’m gone for you, Stevie. Have been for…well, hell. A really long damn time.”

Stevie sighed, lovelorn and wistful.

“Me, too.”

Eddie was really glad he wasn’t the one that was drunk right now, or he might have suspected he was dreaming.

“Wanted to tell you for so long–” But whatever sweet thing Stevie had been about to say was cut off, as she suddenly huffed into the phone. “Oh my God, okay! I’m hurrying, I’m hurrying!”

“All good over there?” 

“Sorry. Robin says I’m hogging the phone,” Eddie could practically hear her eye roll, before her tone turned mischievous. “Besides…now it’s her turn to call Vickie. Talk tomorrow?”

“Wouldn’t miss it, Stevie. See you bright and early.” Bright and early for Eddie usually meant around noon, but, for this, he was willing to make an exception. “And tell Buck–I owe her one.”

You’re welcome! he heard Robin sing-song just before Stevie hung up, evidence she’d probably been listening in on every word. 

As he wandered back to his bedroom in a daze, 11:11 blinked at him from the digital alarm clock on his bedside table.

Eddie didn’t even need to make a wish.

Travolta and his flying car had nothing on him. 

[trippinsorrows]

with me + part twelve

authors note: you guys are seriously the nicest and most supportive. the comments always make me stupidly smile and laugh cause not a single one of ya'll is gonna let bdj die off. 😭 also, i know a couple of people have commented and asked about the backstory with joe and jadah, and i promise it'll be explored deeper. there's a subplot i'm working towards unveiling here, and it's nearing the reveal part, but we're not there yet! i promise, though, it's gonna be touched on!!!

i also had to chop this chapter in half, because it's honestly so much stuff, so the next update shouldn't take as long cause it's almost done.

the next two are gonna be so fun. maybe some shit will go down too. we shall see.

status: in progress // masterlist

warnings: fluff, language, some angst, suggestive themes

song inspo: with me by destiny’s child

words: 8k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @yolobloggers @southerngirl41 @msbigredmachine @wanderingreigns

“So let me get this straight, in the time that I’ve been gone, you and Joe told Callie he’s her dad, you found out Amir and Mariah been fucking behind your back, and you had a semi mental breakdown after running into your father and, plot twist, long lost sister.” She counts each off with a finger, then asking. “Did I miss anything?”

Nodding, you take a scoop of your ice cream before adding, “Joe told me he loves me.”

In true Alexis fashion, she randomly arrived in town the night before, completely unaware of all that transpired in her absence. So, you take this time while Callie sleeps to catch her up. 

“Did I miss anything that I didn’t already know?” You give her a look, and she rolls her eyes, also eating some of her Rocky Road. “Come on, Y/N. Ray Charles could see that man is in love with you. You’re the one being stupid by not reciprocating.” Before you can push back against her, even if she isn’t entirely wrong, she switches topics. “Now when are we gonna go beat Lieriah’s ass? I told you it was something about that girl. She’s a snake.”

Typically the one to defend your friends, it’s hard to find it in you to come to Mariah’s aid. Nevermind the fact that she knows the shitty things Amir has done to you over the years, it’s the fact that she’s supposed to be your best friend but is messing around with same ain't shit ex? You would never do something like that to her, but maybe your loyalty to her has always been stronger than hers to you.

“I’m not worried about him or her. They’re not worth it.” That’s partially true, but the sting of betrayal is slow to pass and even slower to heal. You’ve always had mid to low expectations for Amir, but Mariah? That’s a crushing blow. “I have more important things to figure out.”

She studies you, leaning back against the headboard. “Your sister.”

“Bianca,” you correct. It’s too uncomfortable referring to her as such, even if that’s exactly what she is. 

In the weeks since the big fireworks show—both metaphorically and figuratively—you’ve tried to slowly return to your sense of normalcy. Focusing on Callie—who is an entirely different issue in and of itself that you really need to talk to your mom about—being more on top of things at work, and navigating your relationship with Joe.

He hasn’t been back to visit since Christmas, but you figured as such. Wrestlemania season has arrived, and you know better than anyone how crazy that time is, especially with him main eventing. 

But the one thing you haven’t really allowed yourself to think too much about is Bianca. You’d sent her a vague apology text a few days after your mad dash and explained that you were dealing with some things and just needed time to sort through them. That you’d reach back out when you were ready.

That still hasn’t happened, and it’s entirely intentional. 

“I remember you mentioned that you always wanted siblings?”

“Yeah, cause we have so much to bond over,” you mutter, bitterly.

“Well, you actually do have a lot in common. She’s a teacher, like you. She has a daughter, like you—” 

“You know what we don’t have in common?” You interrupt, feeling the agitation growing again. It’s not directed toward Alexis, just the situation in general. “A father who loves us.”

You were done referring to that man as your father. A father shows up. Like Joe. That son of a bitch isn’t even in the same universe as Joe. 

Her expression softens. You didn’t tell her everything, just enough for her to get the gist that he’s a piece of shit. And you definitely did not tell her about the time you went to see him. You’ve never told anyone that story. Joe is now the only one who knows, and you’d like to keep it that way. It’s just….it’s just too painful. “I had no idea that was the situation there…..I’m really sorry, girl.”

“It is what it is. I don’t need him.” And you’re not too sure if you need Bianca either. “I’m just trying to figure out if I should power through this for Callie’s sake. You should have seen how she and Taylor clicked. I would hate to take that away from her.”

“I get that,” she acknowledges. “You have to make the decision that’s best for the long run, not necessarily how you’re feeling right now.” That’s very easy to say and nearly impossible to do. “Even if you just allow the girls to interact while you keep some distance with Bianca.”

You’re partially intrigued, spooning some more cookie dough. “How would that work?”

“They don’t live here, right?” You nod. “Maybe the girls can talk on Facetime or even play some game on their tablets. That won’t cause you to interact much with mom outside of coordinating virtual playdates, and Callie still gets to spend time with her cousin, or, not cousin."

You sit on her words, not expecting to be as open to the idea as you are. It’s a pretty genius compromise. “You really do give some great advice sometimes, you know that?”

“That’s what I’m here for,” she smiles mischievously, and you just shake your head. “Now, who’s gonna knock this bitch Mariah over the head with a steel chair? Me or you? Or should we hit her with a bus, Regina George style?”

“Alexis!”

________

You clearly don’t love yourself because you decided to do both yours and Callie’s washday on the same damn day. A Sunday, at that. Meaning, you have no choice but to get it done because you have work the next day.

And Alexis being in town would be even more of a benefit than it already is if she actually knew how to do hair. Natural hair. She can lay any wig down better than Tae, but caring for coils and curls is another story. It’s why you declined her offer, and she lays knocked out in your bed, while Callie is fast asleep in hers. 

Thankfully, you have an insanely generous and sweet man who’s offered to talk to you while you power through this debacle, noodle arms, sleep deprivation, and all.

“Oh, before I forget again.” You grab the bottle of leave-in to apply more to the next section of hair. Shingling may give you the most definition, but it also gives you the most discomfort. “Can you be here May 8th?” A smile falls on your face. “Our baby is graduating preschool, and I know she’d want you there. I do too.”

“Shit, they have preschool graduations?” He seems genuinely taken back before answering. “But, of course I’ll be there.”

“I know. I used to think they were stupid, but now it’s my kid, so it’s the best thing ever. Her cap and gown should come some time in March, so I’m gonna have one of my old teammates who’s a photographer take professional photos of her.” It’s literally just preschool, but that’s still something she’s accomplished, and you want to commend the occasion the best you can. It’s been years since you’ve had professional photos of her taken anyway. Not since she was first born. “And yes, I’ll get extra for you.”

“How much—”

“Anyways, let me show you the tattoo.” Joe has already done so much, the least you can do is cover the photo costs. Even though you know him well enough to know he’ll find some way to contribute. Thankfully, the side of your hair that still needs to be shingled is clipped at the top of your head, so all you have to do is turn around and push down the thin strap of your shirt to reveal your latest ink. “He did an amazing job.”

“Shit, he did.” Joe’s agreement and approval somehow makes you even more satisfied with the outcome. Your Christmas gift to yourself was finally getting that Moana tattoo Callie has wanted to see on you since you told her you were getting one damn near a year ago. It’s on the back of your left shoulder, a black manta ray, some blue ocean-like coloring with one of your favorite lyrics from the movie: I will carry you here in my heart. You remind me, that come what may, I know the way. 

It’s one of Callie’s favorite songs but also feels like an ode to your grandma as well. 

He then asks, “do you want more?”

Readjusting your shirt and turning back around, you answer, “of course. More Disney but also….” This discussion triggers something for you, something that seems a little out there, but also maybe not. “I saw this tattoo on Pinterest that I want to get for Callie.” You grab your phone. “Let me send it to you.” It’s saved in your favorites folder and thus an easy send. Placing the phone back on the counter, you wait for him to receive and see it.

“I like it.” It’s a baby’s footprint with the name written in cursive and date of birth in print right underneath it. You’ve always wanted Callie’s name on you but couldn’t settle on a design until you came across that one. Something about it just resonates with you. 

Licking your lips, you suggest, “why don’t you get it with me?” Couples getting matching tattoos isn’t something you’re entirely against, you just don’t agree with it for people who are only dating and not married, if marriage is the goal. You remember when Amir once suggested you do so, and you literally laughed in his face. You’d soon rather get branded with a tramp stamp than have that man’s name permanently burned into your skin.

But, matching tattoos for the child you created together with the man you love. That is something you could get behind. 

And apparently so can he.

“Let’s do it.”

“Really?” You’re not sure why, but the ease of his agreement shocks you. It’s not too far-fetched when you think about it. He loves his daughter, and you’ve always known Joe to only get tattoos that have meaning. He could give you a detailed explanation for every piece of ink on his body. 

“Yeah.” There’s almost a sense of excitement in his voice, like he’s eager to have her name on him, to share this with you. “Same location?” At that, you make a face. He laughs. “Inner bicep does hurt, I’m not even gon’ lie to you.”

Yeah, you’ve definitely heard as such, and considering his entire right side is tatted, he’d know. “I don’t know. I have to think about it. I might need to squeeze your hand the whole time, or I’ll end up punching the tattooist.”

He laughs, “you can squeeze my hand.” Joe then asks, “when do you want to get em’ done?” You start to think about it logistically, as well as financially. Tattoos aren’t cheap. “Do you want to go to the Super Bowl?”

His question surprises you because it’s such a change in topics but also….what? “Yup. And Hawaii and Puerto Rico. And then maybe if we have time, stop by Alice in Wonderland.”

He’s too good at matching your sass, retorting, “I can make the first two happen easily. The last one may be a stretch.” Rolling your eyes, you grab for the gel. “I’m serious though. My tattoo artist is based out of Vegas. The game is in Vegas this year. It’ll let me see Callie too, cause I’m having a hard time finding a gap to visit.” As he continues to speak without laughing or chuckling, you realize he’s dead serious. “I’ve been meaning to ask you to go anyway but kept forgetting.”

You need extra clarification. “Like this year's Usher concert where there’s apparently a game too?”

He rolls his eyes, providing the guest list. “It’s me and the twins, their family, some other fam…..we have a whole section, cause you know it's a bunch of us.” It’s still hard to sit on the fact that this man really just invited you to the fucking Super Bowl like it’s dinner at Golden Coral. His eyes soften. “I wanna see her. I wanna see you.”

Joe’s closing statement, so true and vulnerable, is what breaks you from your temporary state of shock. You get the sense he misses ya’ll just as much as you miss him. “Of course, we’ll go. I’m sorry, I just—I wasn’t expecting that.” And it’s true, you weren’t. “How will we get fl—”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of everything. I just need you to show up at the airport.”

That seems to be such a recurring theme with this man. He does everything he can to make things as easy for you as possible. It’s tremendously appreciated and doesn’t go without notice. 

“This is the first time she’ll be meeting the twins,” you realize aloud. Hell, his family at all. 

Joe nods, chuckling. “Yeah, they’ve been on my ass about that anyway. They want to meet her.”

Pinning down the section you just finished, you take down the next. A little over halfway done now. “Whoever you want her to meet is fine with me, Joe. I don’t even really have a say in that. She has every right to meet your family just as much as she’s had to meet mine.”

And it’s true. Unless it could present some harm to Callie, you don’t really feel like you have the right to object to things like that. You have zero desire to interfere with Joe and Callie anymore than you already have. 

“I know. I just wanted to tell her the truth before introducing her to anyone else. Less lies.” Makes sense. Thinking about Callie meeting more family brings a small smile to your face. It’s what she deserves. Family members who actually want to be in her life.

The conversation brings something else to the forefront of your mind, partially due to Joe’s confession to you on Christmas but also a question you’ve wanted to ask him for much longer than you’d like to admit. 

“So….” This shouldn’t be as nerve wracking as it is. “There’s something I want to ask you, but I don’t…..I don’t want to overstep.” If he were to tell you that he’d rather you not, that’d be fine with you, one less stressful thing on your plate. But, of course, he’s silent, meaning he’s not going to object. So….you decide to bite the bullet and go for it. “What happened between you and your wife?”

You’re certain he wasn’t expecting that to be what you asked, but to your surprise, he answers. “We were young and got married for the wrong reason. I was 22. She was 21.”

Unsure but taking a big risk regardless, you ask in a small voice. “What was the reason?”

His answer isn’t what you’re expecting either. “She was pregnant.”

It takes a second for you to process what he’s saying. Your stomach is suddenly in knots, chest feeling tight. There’s no way he’s kept something like that from you. No way in hell. “Wait, does Callie have—”

“No.”

And just like that, you know. He doesn’t need to explain. It’s painfully obvious, especially as he looks away from the camera. You have a feeling you've unlocked a painful memory he’d most likely kept tucked away. 

“I’m sorry.” It feels so stupid and unhelpful to say. What does that do for him? It doesn’t take away that experience, that loss that you can’t even begin to imagine. But, it’s all you can offer. “Just—forget I asked, let’s change the subject.” Do you have more questions? Of course. Like, why was there such a gap between their loss and the divorce? But, this is understandably a difficult and sensitive subject, and the last thing you want to do is trigger him more than you already have.

You know better than anyone how awful that can be. 

He agrees with the subject change, going along with the transition of topics, clearly grateful for your understanding. But, in the back of your mind, you can’t help but think about the fact that this man lost his firs child before he could even meet the them, and the child he had who did survive was kept a secret from him for nearly five years.

There’s a sudden sickness and disgust you feel. And it’s not towards anyone but yourself. 

Joe had every goddamn right to be furious with you about your subterfuge.

He still does. ________

“Mama, something is up with Callie.”

You’re thankful Alexis agreed to keep Callie preoccupied in the living room while you have this conversation with your mom, because Callie had another incident just this morning, slamming her door when you told her she needed to pick up her toys.

She’s never done that.

But she has done other things in the past two weeks or so, rolling her eyes or pouting her mouth at you when you say something she doesn’t want to hear, beyond typical tantrums. 

Your mom stops her stirring at the pot to turn around and look at you. “What do you mean? Is she sick?”

“No,” you answer and then realize you’re not entirely sure how to explain it. She’s not being bad, per se. Just….difficult. “She’s just been…..off.”

Genuinely intrigued, and partially concerned, you watch your mom turn the fire on low as she joins you at the kitchen table. “Tell me.”

Shaking your head, you explain. “I thought it was just me, that I was just being overprotective and hyper-vigilant, but when I picked her up from preschool yesterday, her teacher pulled me to the side and asked me if she’s been having sleep problems. I told her no and asked why, and she told me Callie has been irritable. With staff and other kids.”

“Callie?” Your mom seems just as taken back as you were hearing these words. “That doesn’t even sound like her.”

“I know, and that’s what I said at first, but then I thought about it, and she’s been crabby with me too. It’s not horrible, but it’s unlike her.”

A small part of you wonders if it has something to do with you running off on her on Christmas. It would make sense. She was doing absolutely fine before then, but it’s the timing that throws that theory off. You’ve noticed this change only in the past two weeks, well after Christmas day passed, so why the delay?

“What does Joe think it is?”

“I haven’t told him.” It’s not that you don’t want to. You’d just like to have a better grasp of what it is before doing so. Have more actual information to provide him.

“He hasn’t seen the behavior for himself?”

You shake your head. “She’s fine with him. Matter of fact, after his calls, she’s like a completely different child.” It’s watching your mom’s face settle into a look of realization that makes you ask, “what? What is it?”

“Honey” she starts with a soft chuckle. “She’s missing her daddy.”

Her answer catches you by surprise, painting your face with confusion. You’ve had a lot of theories, but that definitely wasn’t one of them. “What?”

Reaching across the table, she places her hand over yours. “Think about it. How would she react if you were gone as much as he is? She’d be a mess, cause you’re her mama, and she has a strong attachment to you. Look how easily she attached and connected with Joe. It’s always been there. Except she knows the truth now, so her attachment is even stronger.” You heed to her explanation, wise and sensible. You hadn’t even thought of it that way. “And isn’t this the longest he’s been gone without her seeing him? She’s acting out because she misses him and probably doesn’t know how to verbalize it, so it shows in her behavior.”

As relieved as you are to have an explanation that makes sense, it’s an explanation that makes you incredibly sad for your sweet child. You know how hard it is for Joe to get away right now, you understand it. It never crossed you that she wouldn’t. 

Devastated, you ask, “what do I do?”

“Talk to her. Try to help her understand. It may not make a huge difference, but it’s something.”

You nod, so so grateful for her, for all that she does for you, for Callie. For all that she’s done. Reaching across the table, you hug her tightly. “thank you, mama.” As much as it devastated you to not have that man in your life, your mom made sure to go above and beyond to make sure you knew you were loved. She played both roles beautifully, and you’re not sure you’ll ever be able to make her understand what that meant to you. 

You still haven’t really sat her down and explained everything that happened Christmas night, nor has she asked, but you know it’s because she’s trying to respect your space. It’s appreciated, but you also know you’re gonna have to eventually tell her.

Just not now.

Right now, you’ve gotta take care of your baby.

________

Even the energy in Callie’s playroom feels off.

You’re so used to walking in and finding her with that million dollar smile that makes your entire day better. Instead, you walk in and she doesn’t even acknowledge your presence. She just continues to color. 

“Hey, baby….” Disappointed, but refusing to show as such, you welcome yourself in and approach her table. “Is it okay if I color with you?” 

She still doesn’t say anything, just nods, and you do your best not to hide your sadness. You hate seeing her this down, it’s so unfamiliar, and you’ll do just about anything to fix it. 

Sitting down in the uncomfortable seat, you take a couple of her pages and pull out a crayon. “I have an idea.” At that, she looks up, slightly intrigued. “Why don’t we draw how we’ve been feeling lately? I draw me, and you draw you.” 

You scold yourself for not selling it to her better, for not telling her it’s something you sometimes do with your students. Some level of innocent peer pressure. However, she surprises you by agreeing with a simple “okay.”

It takes a second for you to register that it was really that simple. Step one is done. Now for step two. 

Grabbing some crayons, you don’t really concern yourself with skin tone, just getting something out on paper. The two of you color in silence, and you start to offer to put on her favorite playlist but decide against it. 

You want her to really think about what you’re asking. 

It’s when you see that she’s placed down her crayon and is just staring at her picture that you ask, “you done?” She shakes her head, but her eyes are on the table in front of her. “Is it okay if mommy sees it? I’ll show you mine too.”

Handing you the page, you expect an influx of emotions, but actually seeing her literal representation of how she feels is simply heartbreaking. 

She’s drawn herself, frowning, surrounded by broken hearts and a blue tear leaking from her eye. Callie did what you asked. You just wish it didn’t have you feeling so helpless.

“This means you’ve been feeling sad, huh?” You hate how your voice gives away your emotions. This is about her, not you, but it’s so difficult for you to not be impacted. No mother wants to see her child hurting, and Callie currently is. It kills you. “Callie….” Moving up from your chair, you move across to kneel in front of her, taking her hands in yours. “Have you been sad because you miss your dad?”

All you need to hear is one sniffle, and instantly, you’re reaching for her, holding and comforting her.

“It’s okay,” you soothe, kissing the top of her head. “It’s okay, baby.” She cries into your chest, and you have to hold back your own tears.

“Why doesn't he come back?” She asks in between tears, wiping her eyes. “He’s been gone a really long time.” It’s only then you realize that she’s not entirely exaggerating. Joe was last here for Christmas. It’s now the end of January. For a child like Callie, that must feel like an eternity.

“He would if he could, Callie. I promise you he would. Daddy just…he gets really busy with his job this time of the year, and he can’t leave or he’ll get in trouble.” It’s so difficult to explain this to her. WrestleMania season is inarguably chaotic and stupidly busy. Even back in the day, Joe’s trips to see you were most far and few in between during this time of year. And that was before he even had a title. You can’t even imagine how busy he must be as the literal fucking face of the company.

Enough to keep him from being able to come see you and Callie. 

You’ve just gotten so used to the dynamics of him being away for periods at a time that it never occurred to you Callie hasn’t had the same experience. That at the end of the day she’s still a little kid who just wants to be with her dad. 

It’s then that a thought crosses your mind.

“What if…..what if we went to see daddy?” For the first time since you stepped into the room, her eyes actually light up and you notice her tears lessening. “Instead of him coming to us, we go see him?”

“Really?” There’s the faintest smile on her face, and you know then that you’re going to make this happen. You don’t know how or in what way, but it will be a reality. No matter what it takes. 

“Yeah,” you answer, brushing away some of her tears. “You can go see him at his show. He’d love that.” Not as much as she clearly loves the idea alone. “Now, we’d only be able to stay a day or maybe two but—”

“Please,” she interrupts, and you get the sense that she fears you’re going to find a way to say that you couldn’t or shouldn’t go. “I’ll be a good girl. I promise.”

“Baby, you’re already the best girl.” You push back some of her hair, resting your hand against her cheek. “Mama’s gonna make it happen, okay? I promise.”

If you have to sell one of your kidneys, then you’ll just be less one organ, because you’re getting your baby to that damn show. Matter of fact, you don’t say anything to her, but you’re wondering if you can make it to this week’s upcoming show. It’s only Sunday, and that gives you a couple of days to make arrangements and secure tickets. It’s doable, but you don’t want to get her hopes up, so just in case, you say nothing.

And yes, in the back of your mind, you know she’ll see Joe in a couple of weeks for the game, but that’s too long. Your child is hurting. You need to do something now. She can’t wait that long. 

“Thank you, mommy!” She wraps her little arms around you, and just like that, you see the spark and joy that fills your days with light and laughter. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, baby.” Kissing her temple, you release her, realizing something else. “Now we can't tell your daddy because we’re gonna surprise him, okay? Can you do that for me?”

She nods, happily, unaware of the real reason. You know that you can’t tell Joe about this. Well, not now at least. This is not something to be discussed over the phone or even video chat. And if you tell him you want to take her to see him as soon as possible, he’ll know something is up. 

So, you have to move in silence. 

Coloring with Callie commences for a little longer as you value and cherish your time with her, but as soon as she’s down for her nap and before you wake Alexis from hers to tell her the news, you need to do something. It’s in that time bonding with her you realized how you’re going to make this happen.

You’re suddenly immensely grateful for that random conversation you’d had with Joe a while back regarding the fact that he and the twins have had the same phone number since they were in high school.

Pulling out your phone, you scroll through your contacts until you land on the one you need. You type, backspace, and type some more, only sending out the text once you’re fully pleased with it.

You: Hey, Jon. This is Y/N. Can you call me when you get a chance? Preferably sooner rather than later. I need your help with something. And please don’t tell Joe. It’s a surprise. 

________

God clearly wants you to bring Callie to see Joe. 

There’s just too many things that have lined up perfectly for that not to be the case. The discussion with your principal went well, though that wasn’t entirely surprising. You’ve always had a cordial relationship and know she respected your grandma. The whole school system in your town did. That was just her level of impact. But that respect has slid down to work in your favor as your principal told you to take as much time as you need.

“You’ll always have a job here.”

While not a huge concern, it’s reassuring and not entirely unsurprising. Again, your grandma’s impact definitely granted you a level of nepotism. You were slightly surprised when she actually encouraged you to take more time off, pointing out how in the almost nine years you’ve worked there, she could count on one hand how much PTO or vacation time you’ve used. And, it’s true. It was really only when Callie was sick and your mom couldn't help or you wanted to stay home and nurse her back to health that you called out. For the most part, you had damn near perfect attendance.

But, that’s certainly about to change, and you’re thankful you have a job that’s flexible enough to accommodate the change. 

And then there’s the actual getting there. You should have known when Alexis was asking questions about when you and Callie were leaving that she was up to something. You naively chalked it up to her planning her flight out, as there was no way you expected her to wait around for ya’ll to get back. Instead, she was busy buying not just her ticket to come with ya’ll but yours and Callie’s as well.

You instantly felt bad when she forwarded you the itinerary information. You couldn’t see the cost, but you weren’t stupid either. Getting flights out with such short notice had to be expensive as all outdoors. You were just going to put the bill on your credit card and work to pay it off. And, of course, when you offered to pay her back, she nearly cussed you out. As if such an offer was insulting. 

“What good is a trust fund if you can’t spend it on your college roomie and pretend godchild?”

So, while you still felt slightly uncomfortable, you were able to push it to the backburner for the sake of Callie. This is all for her, and you don’t care what it takes to make it happen. Even if it means sucking up your pride. 

And deep down, you know if Alexis didn’t do what she did, Joe would somehow find a way to compensate you. The same way his ass somehow got his card on file at the hospital and covered all of Callie’s medical bills without ever even asking you if you needed help.

You still haven’t talked to him about that, not really having or finding the right time, but it also feels a bit bitchy and ungrateful to be upset with the man for covering his daughter’s medical expenses. 

Then there’s the actual show itself. One thing you were initially concerned about was if Joe has a match lined up for this upcoming week’s show. You two have only had a couple of discussions about it but still enough for you to learn that he’s extremely hesitant to expose Callie to his wrestling persona. 

“I don’t want her seeing me like that, thinking that’s who I am.”

And you understand him fully. Roman may be a fascinating character, but he’s equally narcissistic and ruthless as he is intriguing. The complete opposite of Joe and who he is. 

Still, you’ve worked to help him understand that talking to Callie, explaining to her that he’s playing a “character” could help her understand better. You both are in agreement that she’s too young to watch actual matches, especially his as they tend to get brutal, but she can see certain promos. And she does. You let her watch a couple where the dialogue is safe enough to go over her head. And truth be told, she’s so focused on watching Joe that she's not really paying attention to what’s being said anyway. 

Needless to say, you were massively relieved to hear from Jon that Joe doesn't have a match lined up and his promo is reportedly tame and safe enough for Callie’s eyes and ears. He didn’t give specifics, but from one parent to another parent, you trust his judgment. 

And the most important thing of all is the fact that Callie has done a complete 180. She’s no longer as irritable, just the usual attitude when she’s sleepy or hungry. Just like her mama. And there’s that spark of joy in her eyes. She’s even started packing what she wants to bring with her. She knows you’ll only be there for one night, but even that can’t seem to dim her joy. 

It makes your heart swell. 

All of this brings you to your conclusion that you’re doing exactly what you should be doing. 

“Ahhh, and here it is.” The old woman’s voice breaks you from your inner dialogue as she walks toward the counter, returning from the back. “Sorry about that sweetheart.”

“No worries, Mrs. Ella.” Your eyes light when you see the item in her hand, even if it’s covered by a cloth bag. The fact that it’s ready is more than enough to make you smile. “Thank you so much for agreeing to this.”

She waves off your concern, offering a warm smile. “Your grandma was one of my best friends. As far as I’m concerned, anything you need is a done deal.”

That warms your heart. Mrs. Ella has been the town seamstress for longer than you’ve been alive but doesn’t look a day over 50. She’s not lying either. Your grandma always cited her as one of her “life” sisters. 

“Why don’t we take a look to make sure it’s alright?” She offers, removing the item from the garment bag. She takes the hoodie and turns it over so you can see the back.

In awe, you acknowledge, “it’s perfect.”

Among the many things Joe has gifted Callie, WWE apparel hasn’t really been included in that list. You’ve chalked it up to his hesitation about familiarizing her with his Roman persona. However, you know that girl loves her daddy and will support him in all the things, so you took it upon yourself to pick her up a few items over the holidays. One of those things being a black hoodie with Roman’s picture on the front with him wearing one of his head of the table shirts. Wanting to make it special and personal, you had the idea of customizing it. Thus, asking Mrs. Ella to add to the back, Acknowledge my daddy!, and she did a fabulous job. It looks like that was the original design. 

Pulling out your wallet, you ask, “how much do I owe you?”

“It’s on the house.”

Your eyes snap to her. “Mrs. Ella, no, this was a rush—”

“Don’t argue with your elders, child,” she scolds, and you smile warmly. “Just show me a picture of her wearing it, and we’ll be even.”

Moved by her generosity, you offer your gratitude again. “Thank you, Mrs. Ella. Seriously. Thank you.” 

Hand over yours, she just nods and then ushers you out the door, “well, you better get a move on child.” 

With a small laugh and one more thank you, you leave out with the hoodie, excited to show Callie and even more, to see Joe’s reaction when he sees her wearing it.

“Y/N?”

Fuck. You’d know that voice anywhere, have known it since you were five years old. 

That doesn’t mean you have to heed to it.

You keep walking. 

A stupid decision, because the footsteps behind you become louder and faster as she asks, exasperated, “would you just talk to me?”

You spin around, suddenly pissed at her repeated question. “Why? Why should I talk to you?” 

You’ve dodged and ignored her texts the same way she did yours, so what’s the issue now? Being on the receiving end must be one hell of an unpleasant experience for her. Not that you give two shits. Mariah is the last thing on your plate right now.

Mariah seems taken back, and that just pisses you off more. How can she not see her wrong in this situation? “You’re my best friend, Y/N. We’ve been friends since we were in kindergarten. Does that mean nothing to you?”

“Did it mean something to you when you were fucking Amir?”

Something you can’t identify flashes in her eyes followed by apparent hurt. “Are you serious right now? You’d really believe him over me.” It’s hard to tell how sincere her watery eyes are or if they’re performative. You’ve never known her to be fake, but then again, maybe you’ve never really known her at all. “That’s fucked up.”

Finding some level of compassion and understanding for the woman you called your best friend for almost your entire life, you try to offer her the benefit of the doubt. “Okay, let’s say you’re not fucking him. At the very least, you’ve been telling him my business while ignoring my texts and calls. Like, what the fuck, Mo?” 

She shakes her head. “He came to me, worried about you—”

“He came to you nosy and upset because I cut it off with him, and you fell into his trap.” How she can possibly fall for Amir’s bullshit is beyond you. She knows how he is. Hell, she’s been right beside you, up until recent weeks/months, dealing with his bullshit. So, her excuse is just that—an excuse. “And even if he was, as my best friend, you should know that’s still girl code violation.”

It feels almost silly citing that, but the morals behind it still ring true. You would never talk to Caleb about things going on in her life when you know they’re not on good terms. And you damn sure would never fuck him. 

“Girl code?That’s funny coming from you, because you didn’t seem to to care about girl code when you were fucking another woman’s husband and had a whole ass baby for him.”

Her words stop you dead in your tracks. Any facial expression you may have been showing is dropped and neutral. Even your voice is softer, less accusatory. “Excuse me?” 

For her to say that to you, knowing how sensitive a subject that is truly takes you by surprise. Truly. 

It doesn’t stop there though. “I mean, forreal, Y/N. You’re up in my face about Amir, but aren’t you still fucking Joe? Shit, how many niggas do you need?” It’s hard to believe the words coming out her mouth, so angry and hostile. But, even her volume rising has you stumped. It’s like she wants to draw an audience. “It’s not enough to be one man’s whore, but you still gotta have another on the side?”

Truly baffled, all you can ask is, “where is this coming from?” 

She sucks her teeth, just as irritated, if not more by your question. “It’s always been this shit with you. You do whatever the fuck you want and don’t care who you hurt or betray in the process!”

And now you’re just straight up confused, because what have you ever done to her? Cause that’s what it sounds like she’s implying. Like you’ve done her wrong. Like you’ve been doing her wrong. “What are you even talking about?”

“You got Joe. You got Amir. Shit, when is enough enough for you?” She scoffs, and it’s hard for you to even look at her let alone listen to all the hurtful things she’s spewing. “Like damn, find a new hobby. Focus on raising your kid—”

And that…..that is the moment that you’re no longer confused, or hurt, or saddened to hear your best friend say such awful things. You’re pissed. Cause one thing no one can convince you you’re not, is a good mother. You’ve dedicated your entire life and being to taking care of Callie, making sure she’s straight. That’s always been your priority, and for her to suggest otherwise….those are really fighting words. 

You step toward her, finding all of the will in the world not to shatter her jaw. “You and I have so much history. It is the only reason I’m not whooping your ass right now, but know this, Mariah. This was your freebie. Fuck with me again, speak on my child again, and I’ll bash your fucking head into the nearest wall.” It’s not a threat. It’s a promise. “Stay away from me, bitch.”

You don’t give her time to respond or even yourself the chance to lay her out, you instead rush to your car, locking the door and speeding out of the parking lot. 

Your knuckles are nearly white with how tightly you’re gripping the steering wheel.

It’s been a while since you’ve been this hot. Years maybe. Amir would piss you off, sure, but never to the extent of your emotions in this moment. It truly took all resolve and imagining Callie’s disappointed face at not being able to see her dad  because you got yourself locked up for aggravated assault to keep you from beating Mariah’s ass. She knows better than anyone that you don’t play about your daughter, so for her to include Callie in her mud slinging is not only repugnant but hurtful.

She’s supposed to be Callie’s godmother. 

But beyond that, you’re having a hard time reconciling with the rest of the things she was saying. It didn’t feel like something that’s been building up over the past few months. No, this was different. Much…..deeper.

Regardless, you don’t have time to deal with this shit. You need to put your focus on preparing to bring your little girl to see her dad. 

Mariah can fuck off. 

She’s always been all bark and no bite anyway. 

________

“Mommy.”

Callie doesn’t even have to say anything else for you to know a request is to follow. 

“What's up, sis?”

She climbs on top of where you lay on the sofa, you and Alexis watching some random dating show she swears up and down is the best thing since Love is Blind. So far, you’re entirely unimpressed. Granted, reality shows of any kind have never been your cup of tea in the first place. 

Your YouTube history is mostly crime documentaries and Bloodline videos. 

She climbs on top of you, throwing her arms up and shouting, “dance party!”

Of all her typical requests, that’s one you haven’t heard in a while. 

You’ve always raised Callie with music, even back when you were pregnant, you would take your Beats and place them on your belly. It’s seemingly worked because this child loves music, so much so that you two would have random “dance party’s” where you’d blast music and dance around, no care in the world, just the two of you.

You haven’t had one in a while, but seeing Callie so happy, a stark contrast from how she’s been is more than enough to get you up and on your feet. You look over at Alexis. “Come on, Lex, it’s dance party time.” 

She feigns a gasp, looking at Callie for approval. “Do I get to come to this party?”

Callie giggles and jumps on the sofa. “Of course! Everyone can come to dance party!”

What’s also ironically funny is the fact that you and Alexis used to have dance parties all the time in your dorm, just often with much more explicit Travis Porter, Speaker Knockerz, type music and a lot of ass shaking.

“Well tonight, it’s just the three of us,” you laugh, grabbing your phone and opening your Spotify to figure out what will be your kickoff song. It’s when your eyes land on that one though, you know you’ve found it.

Connecting your phone to your Bluetooth, you confirm the connection and hit play. 

We're a thousand miles from comfort, we have traveled land and sea

But as long as you are with me, there's no place I'd rather be

“My favorite white girl song ever!” Alexis shouts, starting to dance with Callie who’s just as excited about your selection. Together, the three of you dance and sing when the iconic chorus hits. 

If you gave me a chance I would take it

It's a shot in the dark but I'll make it

Know with all of your heart, you can't shake me

When I am with you, there's no place I'd rather be

At some point, Alexis grabs your phone, recording and capturing the laughter and joy you experience dancing and being silly with your very, very best friend. Callie’s laughter could revive any soul, and it’s so genuine. Even more, you know a large chunk of it is her excitement to see her dad in a couple of days.

And that makes it all the more special. 

Eventually needing a break and time to catch your breath, you laugh as the song ends and the next one starts. Lex and Callie immediately go at it for round two, spinning around and dancing to Dance the Night. 

You take a second to check your phone, seeing that you have a Snapchat from Joe. Frowning, you open the message confused as to why he’s using that and not just text. He only has the damn app because you made him get it. He’s not very big on social media outside of occasional Instagram posts. 

Swiping it open, you see why he was messaging you on there.

Because your wonderful best friend sent him the video she recorded of the three of you dancing.

Joe: How do I save this?

Joe: Fuck it. It’s too confusing. Just send it to me.

Laughing, you chew on your bottom lip and type out a reply.

You: You’re such an old man. 😩 

You: But yes, I’ll send it, even if I didn’t know Alexis was recording to send it to you...

You: Callie loves “dance parties” lol 

Joe: I love her laugh. She looks so happy…

You: I know. ❤️ She loves music. Def my kid.

You: Skillet is next on the queue, btw. 🙃

Joe: Don’t know what that is, but if I had to take a guess, it’s some rock shit.

You: You know me so well. 😊

Joe: Of course, baby.

Leaving his thread, you realize that if she sent it to Joe, she probably posted it to your private story as well, which is fine. You only have people on there you know and trust to keep the contents within that space.

But, it’s in checking the views that you see Mariah not only watched but screen recorded your story. It’s strange, normally you wouldn’t think twice about it. She’s always screenshotted and screen recorded stuff you posted, and you did the same with Micah. 

But now…..

Now, it feels wrong to share these moments with her. She’s lost that privilege. 

Moving to your contacts, you ignore her old Snapchat name she never uses anymore and instead just block her primary one from seeing your stories, and that includes close friends. And interestingly enough, when you check your texts, you see one from her muted thread that momentarily causes you to pause.

Mariah: Kinda stupid to ice out the one person who knows everything about you. 

But the pause comes and goes, Mariah always says shit, and that’s where it stops, the saying. She’s always been the mouse of you two, and that shit ain’t changed.

Closing up the app, you switch back to Spotify and focus on what’s before you and not behind you.

You have all the people you need in your life. 

Mariah can fuck off.