#i think he has the most ships which is so fucking funny tbh he just has that rizz

[flamingoinkart]

THIS PURPLE SON OF A BITCH is Shipped With So Many Random Characters and basically, you are fucking stupid. How? ... just watch

[luckyemo]

i always forget naegi/togami is like... a popular ship i guess so theres ppl who think like Deeply about togami and i just wha

[bitchfitch]

My mother's bf had a fairly major surgery (he's fine and recovering well DW) and he's going to be housebound for his birthday this year, so I've been enlisted to come up with a fancy birthday meal for the special birthday boy that's primarily fruit and veg, sweeter than savory, and is something he's never had before.

Bc I'm making watermelington. It's beef Wellington, but watermelon. bc my mom only found out recently you can use watermelon as a tuna substitute. And I know that you can substitute most higher quality beef cuts with tuna or salmon.... usually. Anyways the idea fascinates her so I'm hoping to use that for bonus points.

Now he's off his ass on pain killers so I can't like. Ask him if he's ever had something before. so to meet my brief I've decided to just. commit a novel hate crime against the British I guess.

Anyways. I'm writing this because I need to walk myself through this process and think it'll be surreal enough to be worth taking y'all along for.

So, Beef Wellington. In its most basic bitch arrangement is a beef tenderloin wrapped in prosciutto/really thin bacon, with a layer of mushroom and onion mush, that has been further wrapped in mustard slathered puff pastry.

We will be ship of Theseusing this. bc beef Wellington is like. the opposite of what he wants. Which is why it's funny.

Puff pastry-> it's still just puff pastry

this one doesn't have to change (aka I can't be fucked to do pastry prep and I'm just gonna use store bought it's Fine.)

the prosciutto is also just going to be prosciutto.

Thin meat

Beef tenderloin-> watermelon,

Tbh this is a pretty 1 to 1 substitution. I'll bake the slices at like. 250-300 for an hour or so ahead of the rest of prep to dry it out a bit. bc you can't like. Sear watermelon to seal in the water like you can beef. By definition it's a very wet fruit (like me when I fall into the lake). Ill Add salt and chili and lime juice while baking maybe. this is the easy part

The mushroom mush-> salsa done bad style

As the word mush implies, this is meant to be a very soft mix. It adds a lot of nuttiness to the wellington that rounds out all of the salt from the meats. I'm replacing it with white person salsa(the birthday boy can't handle spice). Tomato, lime juice, parsley, avocado, cucumber, feta, and maybe mango so I can have an excuse to have a lil mango treat. I said I wasn't making it spicy. I'm still putting a bit of chili in it. bc it'll be better like that. This is also a ridiculously wet bit of mush, Even the original mushrooms have too much water. I'll figure something out.

Mustard -> jelly

He lives in a big city. those preserve sections are massive. I'll find a weird one. maybe apricot.

Prep:

We're in the mind palace kitchen, I have not attempted any of this. We're just thinking real hard about it and I'll edit as needed on the day and post results.

The watermelon

Preheat oven to eh. 300f? We want low and slow to dry things out without it taking a year. but idk what his oven is like. If it's gentle I'll bump it up another ten-twenty.

Slather some watermelon slices in salt chili powder and lime juice mixture.

bake for 30 min on a wire rack or directly on the oven racks (after cleaning thoroughly) if he doesn't have a wire rack. with a drip try underneath to catch the drippage. check frequently. Have one slice that's for being poked to see if it's approaching being meat. Bake longer if needed.

Salsa bad style

chop everything up and add it to a pan with some oil in it. Tbh I don't think the type of oil you use for cooking matters if you're not like, getting near any smoke points. Most people can't tell the difference unless you made your food bland as hell.

Anyways there's some wildly different moisture contents on the list so there has to be an Order to cook off as much water as possible without getting yucky.

Tomatoes and cucumbers go in together with some salt to get the cucs softening, then the mango chunks and lime juice. Once most of the water is gone the avocado feta and parsley can go in. There is a good amount of water in avocados but they're delicate and don't pan fry well, so we're just going to ignore their water crimes and hope for the best. They just need to be evenly mixed through the rest of the mush.

Putting it together

lay out the puff pastry, cut into sections to wrap each watermelon slice individually with.

Slather in jam

Take the prosciutto and lay it out on half of each section of the pastry,

spoon the salsa onto that

Melon

Another layer of salsa

another layer of thin meat

Fold the pastry over the top and pinch the edges bc watermelon slices are not a rollable shape and I don't want to carve a watermelon into a tube for this because that sounds irritating.

Brush with egg wash and more parsley

Cook in oven following the pastry's preferred temp and time. it's fucking watermelon, you're not getting ecoli from it.

watermelington :)

I'm serving it with baked sweet potatoes and spinach based salad with whatever toppings are left over from making the salsa.

anyways thank you for joing me on this thought experiment. I will post updates once the deed is done. I'm sorry to every British person ever.

[chiocchi]

If you don't mind answering, why do you ship Tom Riddle and Harry Potter? Besides the whole issue that they are enemies, and the age difference, both characters are heterosexual. It's canonical fact. If it's the dynamic you like... Have you thought about Tomione's ship? They have a lot of potential together. And in the right direction, they would be a couple that could make it in the books.

JDKLJKLFJSDLKFJA This kinda feels like people knocking on your door and trying to get you to believe in their religion. It's pretty funny.

I don't know why are you calling issues to a part of the pairing's appeal lkajdsjfs (And Hermione is Harry's age and they are on the same side too?). And not sure about that canonical fact. Harry can be read as bisexual quite easily and Voldemort|Tom... idk he seems more obsessed with power, immortality, and Harry. But even if that's the case, I don't see why it should matter. We're in fandom after all.

I don't know if I'll be able to convey why I like this ship so much. For starters, I'm really into the unique connection they share. There was a piece of Voldemort's soul inside Harry's; they had a mental link; a whole language they're the only ones to speak (for the most part); Voldemort chose him and marked him; and there's even a prophecy that linked them together. There aren't two people more connected than them. They're soulmates, and the fact that Voldemort didn't intend it and Harry hates it adds another layer of complexity.

But not only that, they're like a broken reflection of each other, which I find fascinating. In his second year, Harry was worried about the similarities between them. Both half-bloods, orphans, raised by Muggles, they both considered Hogwarts their first real home. I feel like they would have really understood each other in other circumstances. They would have been friends. Because one of their key differences is that Harry found friends and adults that loved him while Tom was probably bullied and, y'know, the whole Dumbledore thing.

Not to mention that Harry would die for everyone whereas Tom would kill everyone. They're insane in their own way. I love their similarities and differences, but more than anything else, I love when they're together. The fanfics and fanarts are awesome.

And the whole thing of being enemies feels quite gay sometimes klafjdlskfja. Harry can't help but think Tom is handsome and, despite everything Voldemort did, Harry wanted to give him one last chance to show remorse. I have no doubt Harry is crazy enough to actually forgive him.

I've thought about Tomione and I've come to the conclusion that I don't like it. pinktom has a really good post about it and I agree with it. Besides, Hermione liked Ron and had something with Krum, and they're nothing like Tom. Just because she's heterosexual doesn't mean she's attracted to any man, y'know? klajdlfkdjs I don't think they would have been a couple in the books, no matter the direction. If it's the dynamic you like, have you thought about Tomarry? More believable, more intense, and a wider range of wholesomeness to fucked up in the fics. It's really interesting. Unless you don't like men being together? Hmm? Suspicious (just kidding. To each their own. So no need to go to other people's asks to try to change their minds :kek:).

Also Harry is my favorite character and he's not replaceable. I kinda don't care about any other character tbh. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

[tossawary]

You know, the more I think about it, the funnier I find the concept of Monkey D. Luffy /& Boa Hancock (especially paired with Aro-Ace spectrum Luffy and Aro-Ace spectrum Hancock) just for what it must look like from an outsider's POV.

For the record, personally, my favorite Luffy ship is Zoro/Luffy - also with Aro-Ace spectrum Luffy, that's basically non-negotiable for me, I don't care whether he's sex-favorable or sex-repulsed, but he's definitely ace. It is so funny to me to think about Luffy's incredible pull with aro-ace spectrum folks. People who once thought "sucks for you fuckers obsessed with sex and/or romance, I'm built different" (Roronoa Zoro, Koby, Trafalgar Law, Boa Hancock, Bartolomeo, etc.) find themselves fascinated by this little rubber man, who regularly declares war on the government and can swallow a roast chicken whole. Some of them are happier about this than others. Some of them WISH they just wanted to fuck or marry him, that would make more sense than this shit.

But, okay, back to Luffy and Hancock (as a friendship or queerplatonic situationship, whatever, doesn't matter). Like, let's pretend this is some kind of Modern College AU (Luffy is probably not IN college, tbh, he's just there to hang out with his friends and for any food anyone makes the mistake of leaving out). You are on your way to class and you see this woman walking down the street and she is - hands down - the Most Beautiful Woman In The World.

Super tall, with incredibly long, muscular legs in shockingly high red heels, a short skirt, artful cleavage, a waterfall of sleek black hair, beautiful face, striking makeup, gorgeous jewelry. Looks too old to be an undergrad student. She looks like if a martial artist became a supermodel. Walks like that too. The phrase "please step on me" comes to mind, but not to the lips, because that's sexual harassment, and also this woman looks like she could stab you through the heart with a kick and her shoe heel, killing you instantly.

She sees someone and her entire face lights up. She runs forward (how is she running in those shoes) squealing in excitement and embraces this guy you didn't even notice before, shouting about how much she missed him, and kisses him on the lips. He is... uh... three-quarters of her height at the tallest. A real Mr. Short King.

Wow, he has a babyface. And a scar on his cheek and on his chest, which you can see because he's wearing an open button-up, in eye-searing rainbow colors and decorated with monkeys, and jorts with fur at the cuffs. And mismatched flip-flops on the wrong feet. And a straw hat on a string around his neck. It looks like he hasn't brushed his hair today. It is impossible to judge his looks because his outfit is too distracting. Now the Most Beautiful Woman in the World is blushing bright pink as she clasps one of his hands in both of hers. Mr. Short King is using his other hand to pick his nose as she talks.

They walk hand in hand together over to where an incredibly expensive-looking bright red car is parked. Mr. Short King opens the driver's door for the Most Beautiful Woman and she apparently nearly swoons at this chivalry. She climbs into the driver's seat and he gets into the passenger's side (Luffy cannot legally drive and also cannot actually drive). They drive off together. What the fuck kind of Roger-and-Jessica-Rabbit-ass Sugar Mama relationship did you just witness?

Boa Hancock keeps a photograph of Luffy as her phone background and also on her desk at work. Everyone is always like, "Is that your... son?" And Hancock is like, "No, that's my number one choice of future fiancé! Isn't he sooooo handsome?" And people can only be like, "...Okay, but why are there police lights in the background? And something is on fire? It kind of looks like he's in the process of being arrested..." And Hancock responds dreamily, "They didn't catch him! He climbed into my exercise duffel bag and I carried him out."

[schrijverr]

Stiles as a Roommate

Classic outsiders POV of Stiles in college, where his roommate, Mike, and their other friends try to figure out who all these people are that keep calling Stiles.

On AO3.

Ships: Sterek

Warnings: they think Stiles is wrapped up in some bad shit (which valid tbh)

~~~~

Mike’s roommate is profoundly disturbing and highly hilarious to have around. On the first day he comes crashing into the room, tripping over himself like an old school physical comedy, before assuring Mike that he’s fine and it doesn’t even come close to being beaten to a pulp by a grandfather.

It’s quite the introduction and for a while Mike was worries that his roommate is going to suck. Stiles isn’t the typical college student, you see.

He has amassed an entire herb garden in the windowsill, skips out on most parties, keeps a metal baseball bat by his bed and calls home every single day. On top of that, he doesn’t know how to shut up and his rants devolve into the strangest bullshit about the most random topics that make Mike wonder why the hell criminology major had looked into them.

So, Mike thought he is stuck with a weird paranoid kid, who doesn’t know how to have fun. He worries about Stiles getting mad about him getting back in late or judgmental about not studying as much. However, his worries had soon been put to rest.

Because Stiles is fun and Stiles is easy. He can become anyone’s friend in minutes and is up later than healthy most of the time, doing weird bullshit on his laptop that he calls research, though Mike never knows what for.

He might not be a party-goer himself, but he absolutely doesn’t care about what Mike does, just jeering at him to use protection when he goes out and waking him up with a smug smirk and coffee when Mike wants to disappear into his mattress with a hangover, kicking his ass to classes.

Stiles is probably what is keeping him from failing right now and Mike will go to great lengths to keep him as his friend, because, yeah, they’re friends now.

It’s impossible not to befriend Stiles, he grows on you like a very persistent mold.

His friendship with Stiles starts six weeks into rooming together. Classes are in full swing alongside parties and Mike has just started to get worried about his roommate being a stick in the mud, when he comes home at 4:00 AM piss drunk.

Naturally he tries (and fails) to quietly enter the room, trying not the be the dickbag that wakes people up every night to find the lights still on. He blinks a few times at Stiles, who is sitting on his bed with a laptop and smartly says: “Huh.”

“God, you’re so fucking drunk it’s not even funny, dude. I can smell it from here and I don’t even have a freaky nose,” Stiles comments, before he gets up from the bed.

Mike sways slightly in the doorway, mentally trying to decide if he can do a stumble and drop to his bed or if he’ll sleep on the floor when Stiles is suddenly in front of him. He startles and nearly falls over, saved from faceplanting by Stiles, who is usually the one meeting the floor.

“Oh, hey, there, hey, buddy,” Stiles says, righting him. He slips an arm around Mike and masterfully stumble-drags him to the bed, depositing him on it. He points at Mike, who is still reeling from the movement and sternly says: “Don’t move,” as if Mike had any big plans.

Moments later he returns with a glass of water and gets Mike upright, telling him to sip and not allowing him to stop until the glass is empty.

Mike isn’t sure what happens next, but the next morning he wakes up with a groan to find two painkillers, a glass of water and a glass of orange juice on his bedside table along with a note reading: go to your classes! And you’re not a very eloquent drunk

In that moment, it feels like the nicest thing anyone has ever done for him, swiftly forgetting all his parents have done under the pounding headache. He takes his painkillers, drinks his drinks and actually manages to drag himself to his lecture, deciding that Stiles might not be so bad.

When he comes back from his class, Stiles is there, typing away on his laptop again. He greets Mike when he enters and Mike returns it: “Hey, dude. Thanks for the painkillers and stuff.”

“Yeah, man, no problem,” Stiles smiles back. “It’s just instinct at this point, I’ve had to drag worse people off to bed.”

It’s a bit of an odd reply, but something Mike can work with. “You friends with many party-goers?”

A strange look flits over Stiles’ face, but it goes as fast as it comes and Stiles says: “Something like that. I was the one with a car, who wasn’t a prick about it getting dirty on the inside when in crisis. I have passed up on many party experiences except the clean up. All my friends are idiots.”

Mike chuckles at that and plops down on his own bed, as he comments: “Do you have a big friend group back home?” See, he can have conversations, mom.

“Oh, yeah,” Stiles tells him with a grin. “We’re like a family. A very weird family.” A brief pause. “But how about you?”

“Nah,” Mike shrugs. “I’m making up for it now.”

“Yeah, I can see,” Stiles grins. “Alcohol is a poison, my man. Besides, I’m not sure you’re remembering the friends you made.”

The bluntness is something Mike has encountered before and turned him away, but it doesn’t sound mean. He remembers that he is going to try with Stiles, so instead of ending the conversation there, he shrugs: “Probably, but it’s fun while it lasts.”

“Come on, man, that’s not fun,” Stiles says. “I have some friends from introduction. We get fries on Thursdays and study on Sunday. You can come sometime, it’s fun.”

Okay, so the bluntness was genuine concern and Mike honestly could use some actual friends. He likes parties, they’re fun, but the loneliness is starting to get to him. So he replies: “Sure, sounds fun.”

“Hell yeah,” Stiles does a genuine fist pump and Mike snorts. Yeah, alright, maybe Stiles isn’t so bad at all.

“Why were you awake so late anyway?” Mike asks, suddenly remembering that Stiles was just sitting there when he stumbled in.

“Oh, Jackson called me,” Stiles says. “He’s in studying in at Cambridge, because his parents are pretentious fuckers. He needed to check in about… something and I was still awake. I had to look something up, I was just emailing him the details when you came in.”

“All the way in England?” Mike whistles, a bit impressed.

“Tsk, don’t let hear him that. Dick has a big enough ego as it is,” Stiles rolls his eyes.

“I thought you were his friend?” Mike says, a bit confused, because Stiles had literally picked up the phone at 4:00 AM for this guy, couldn’t be that much bad blood, could there?

“Surprisingly enough. He had a restraining order against me in high school for a while,” Stiles informs him casually, before realizing how that sounds and quickly amending: “Obviously, he revoked it, because it was completely unnecessary and a big misunderstanding. We’re cool now, promise.”

And that’s Mike’s cue to drop the conversation, giving Stiles a tight nod, before turning to his own work. He’s giving the other a chance, not inviting crazy. Though he does allow himself to be invited for fries on Thursday with Stiles’ friends.

There is Maya a shy, but enthusiastic biology major; Aalif, a kind but serious looking pre-law student; Nikki, a hilariously insane art major; and Kai a bit of a dorky English major. How Stiles had found this ragtag group Mike doesn’t know

“Mike,” he introduces himself. “I do history. I’m Stiles’ roommate,” before he’s pulled into a discussion about whether or not fries can be classified as a salad. (Potato salad exists, Mike, and it’s a side dish).

It’s honestly a lot more fun than expected and it’s nice to see that Stiles does know how to have fun, he just has fun arguing about nothing with someone studying to argue professionally instead of getting wasted.

While Mike doesn’t think he’ll keep away from parties entirely, he might cut back to make place for this. The genuine connection is way nicer than not remembering who you talked to, or if you even did.

They’re about to start opening the famous is cereal-soup debate when Stiles’ phone starts to ring. He nearly hits his head on the table as he dives to get it out of his bag, calling out a quick: “Sorry, guys, gotta take this real quick.”

But since he is stuck in a booth, all he can do is turn away from them as he greets: “Isaac, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

It’s not the most standard greeting and Mike raises his brow at the others, who all shrug. Apparently this has happened before. Mike watches as Stiles gets a reply, fascinated by how Stiles seems to melt, worries leaving him as he grins fondly, before practically cooing: “You missing me already? I am flattered, pup.”

He grins some more at what Isaac is saying, before raising a brow, voice turning into a tease: “I feel used here. Like a cheap replacement. You knew Scott was going to be busy with Allison, I even warned you. Not my fault no one in this p- family ever listens to me.”

Another reply to which Stiles says: “Yes, you heard correctly, I’m with friends, you can make those at college. I encourage you to try.”

An eyeroll at Isaac’s answer, then a sigh: “Yes, Isaac, having your own friends will get their attention again. But try also for yourself, meeting new people is fun. Maybe you even meet someone you like.”

“Bye, Isaac,” Stiles says pointedly, it sounds faintly like Isaac is protesting his departure, but he hangs up on him.

“Sorry about that, you know how they can get,” Stiles grins, trying to play it off, while Mike tries to ignore how much it sounds like the conversation he had with his mom last week, before deciding to join the others in not commenting.

And after that it their friendship takes off until they’re at the ‘waking him up with a smug smirk and coffee when Mike wants to disappear into his mattress with a hangover, kicking his ass to classes’- stage.

Turns out that if you’re closer to Stiles, he’s even weirder. He goes home pretty often, now that he has settled in alright, nearly every other weekend, at least once a month, though he complains about his dad forcing him to stay at college to get the full experience, air quotes obvious in his voice.

Mike doesn’t say anything, since he kind of agrees with Stiles’ dad. It’s a bit unhealthy how much Stiles’ calls home. Or at least, Mike thinks he does, though it always sounds like it’s someone else on the phone, because Stiles will tell the same story a bunch of times or tell the person that another person told him to tell them etc, like they couldn't call themselves.

The conversations are also just weird. Stiles cuts himself off sometimes, sending Mike looks, or he’ll fuss over whoever is on the other side of the line like he’s their therapist, or their fucking mother. Not to mention the fact that he always – always – picks up.

Mike has tried to call Stiles a few times, a lot of the time his roommate won’t pick up, or call back apologetically, yet he’ll leave a lecture if someone from home calls.

It’s just odd.

So, brave soldier as he is (as well as the head investigator of their little friend group, who are all more curious about Stiles than Mike expected when he first met them), he asks: “Hey, man, who are you always calling?”

Stiles look up from where has just hung up with a: “You be careful okay? I love you,” looking a bit confused, before smiling and shrugging: “That depends, honestly. It’s a bit much.”

That sounds like a deflection, but Mike is curious and got better at talking to people and standing up for himself. So, he goes: “I have time. I’m smart. I think I can take it.”

“Alright,” Stiles shoots him another uncertain look, before starting, “Well, my dad and Derek are holding down the fort, so I call them just to see how life is going. Boyd and Erica are there too, so I call them too, but Boyd doesn’t talk much, so I mostly call with Erica. She is my Catwoman, you know, we chat, she spills about Boyd. He has his own carpentry shop, it’s been going well. I’m glad for him, you know. And Erica is taking a gap year, but to be honest, I think she likes being a park ranger too much to ever go back to school.”

Mike nods along to Stiles’ rambles. His dad is explainable and the fact that he added Derek in there must mean they’re a unit in his mind, maybe a brother? Or even his father’s boyfriend. Erica is someone he’s close with and knows well, called her his Catwoman, so maybe girlfriend? But he connected her to Boyd, who sounds like a far friend of sorts, so maybe not.

“Of course there is Jackson in England,” Stiles continues on happily. “I told you about him. He is a bit of a dick, but we’ve forgiven him. Well, Lydia did and we all trusted her and it worked out okay.”

And yeah, Mike remembers Jackson with the apparent restraining order and wonders who Lydia is. Luckily he doesn’t have to wait long.

“Lydia,” Stiles sighs, making Mike think he loves her, which he naturally immediately disproves by going, “I used to be in love with her, but turns out, no. She’s being an absolute genius doing mathematics at CalTech. She terrifies me in the best ways.”

That’s not concerning at all.

“And then you have Scott, my best friend,” Stiles rambles on and Mike knows that the other probably won’t even notice if he leaves. He gets like that. “Now my man Scott is at Colorado State

to become a vet alongside Allison and Isaac.”

Those two names are also familiar and Mike feels awkward staying silent, so he says: “They’re all become vets?”

“No, just Scott, but they’re all at Colorado State, because Scott will probably perish without Allison and Isaac hates being lonely and didn’t get into Stanford with me,” Stiles says, like that’s the most obvious reason to pick a school.

Mike is distracted by Stiles hitting his arm enthusiastically: “Allison is also doing history, man, I hadn’t even thought of that! I don’t know how it would be relevant either, but you know, fun fact! I love fun facts, like did you know that human teeth are the only part of the body that can’t heal themselves, because enamel is dead tissue. That was fun to find out.”

He senses that there is a story there, but Stiles is already moving on: “And Isaac, my beautiful boy, is doing social studies, which I think will really help him. He’s come so far and he’s really happy with his courses.”

Isaac was the one that called during that first Thursday fries run Mike was a part of. He recalls the nicknames and the fact that Isaac was missing Stiles, not to mention how fond Stiles sounded and the fact that Isaac wanted to go to college with him. Maybe Isaac was the boyfriend?

“Anyways,” Stiles ends his rant. “I told you it’s a bit much, but I like knowing they’re okay and getting by and if I only call one, the others will get jealous. There’s only so much Stiles to go around and everyone wants a piece,” he grins.

Mike thinks Stiles has a weird relationship with his friends from back home, but also that he doesn’t want to create any friction with his roommate and best friend on campus, so he just nods and smiles a bit.

“But how about you?” Stiles returns the question. “You never call home, at least, not that I’ve witnessed.”

Since Stiles decided to share, something he rarely does, Mike knows he should return the favor, so he shrugs. “Not really much to call.”

“Is no one there?” Stiles asks, all concern.

“My mom and dad are, but you know,” Mike shrugs. “Dad just cares about my grades and mom is always prying, like she thinks I can’t manage by myself or something. It’s fucking annoying. I’m an adult now, she doesn’t need to hover.”

Stiles frowns at his reply, then bites his lip as if he isn’t sure he should say something, before he breaks and blurts: “But isn’t that nice? To have someone who worries?”

“What?” Mike hadn’t thought Stiles would pick his mom’s side, though maybe he should have seen it coming.

“I mean, I don’t know your situation of course, but I get it,” Stiles shrugs, backing off a bit. “You’ve always been her baby, who she saw every single day and knew when you had a bad day, when you got a good grade, etc, now she has nothing and you don’t tell her, so her mind makes up all the horrible things that could have happened to you between calls, resulting in what is practically an interrogation until she is satisfied that you’re truly as okay as you claim you are… Wow, that was one hell of s sentence,” Stiles ends his keen observation with a joke to lighten it up a bit, since he got way too into that.

Mike attempts to wade through the sea of words just slung to his head, before he realizes Stiles kind of has a point. He breathes: “How do you even know that?”

Stiles scratches his nose and shrugs: “I might be a bit of the mom-friend.” And Mike is reminded of the fact that Stiles is really weird with his friends and that he probably knows that because he does the exact same thing his mother does.

Next Sunday, he reports all this to the study group, which Stiles has had to skip out on, because someone called at midnight, which obviously meant Stiles immediately packed is bags and left, something that is more common than Mike would like.

“That’s a lot of friends,” Maya comments once he is done. “But it’s sweet he cares so much about them.”

“He cares mom-levels about them,” Mike points out. “I’m telling you, he got so intense while defending my mom, like it was personal.”

“So, he’s a bit intense about is friends,” Nikki shrugs. “One girl in my class is making a shrine to her boyfriend as a final project. We’re not at that level yet, so I think we’re good.”

“He took off in the middle of the night on a three hour drive, because someone called,” Mike replies.

“I don’t think it’s really any of our concern,” Aalif interrupts, before it can get out of hand.

“But what if they’re like a creepy cult or something?” Nikki asks.

Aalif levels her a look as he says: “I don’t think Stiles would get drawn into a cult.”

“You don’t know that,” she raises a brow. “It happens, even to smart people like Stiles.”

“He has a metal baseball bat by his bed,” Mike offers, not sure why he is backing Nikki in this debate.

“He does?” Maya asks, a bit concerned.

They all now look at Mike and he suddenly realizes that they’ve never been into their room, which is why he has become Stiles source number 1. He shrugs: “Yeah, he took it with him when he left for home tonight. It’s all damaged and shit, though I think some carvings are intentional. They look a bit like runes.”

Nikki raises a brow as she looks at Aalif and says: “But you don’t think Stiles could have joined a cult.”

“I don’t think a cult would have allowed him to leave for college, not to mention do criminology,” Maya offers. “I think he’s following a seminar about cults right now actually.”

“Okay, but even without a cult, still suspicious and weird,” Nikki huffs. “And it’s still a possibility, right, Mike?”

Mike startles a bit unsure how he got on the pro-cult side and not sure he isn’t agreeing. “I mean, he does have all these herbs and some weird books, but those could be from the library.”

And now they’re giving him more looks. Great. He puts his hands up defensively: “It’s not like I know, alright. Stiles never exactly cooks, maybe he just likes the smell of the herbs. And the books could be an aesthetic thing, though he keeps him under his bed in a box if they’re his.”

“What sort of books?” Kai asks after a beat.

“They’re leather bound. Old,” Mike shrugs. “I haven’t seen him with them much. He shoves them out of sight when I get in and the only times he hasn’t was when he thought I was asleep or very drunk.”

“Creepy,” Maya shivers.

“Come on, this is Stiles,” Aalif says. “He is not in some creepy cult. Do you all even hear yourselves? Seriously. Now, the midterms are coming up and I would like to get some passing grades.”

That gets a few boos and boring’s thrown at him, but Aalif doesn’t falter and they do all giggle a bit at the ridiculousness of Stiles in a cult. Before they can truly get anything done, Nikke snorts: “Maybe he tripped into it,” sending them all into giggles again.

It isn’t a joke anymore when Stiles reappears again on their Thursday fry run his face more bruise than skin and his hands both wrapped in bandages.

“Stiles!” Kai exclaims, already out of his seat. “What happened to you?”

“Hey there, guys,” Stiles attempts a grin, wincing at the action. “I’m good, I’m good.” He eases himself into their booth, wrapped fingers taking some fries and popping them into his mouth as the rest watches him with careful eyes. Of course he notices as he chews slowly, whispering to himself: “Knew Derek was right about the liquid diet. Fucker.”

“What happened?” Aalif asks when Stiles seems like he is going to ignore the whole situation that is his face and hands. “Stiles, if someone did this to do, you have to go to the police, file a report. You can sue.”

“Of course you’d say that, lawyer-man,” Stiles grins again, falling flat once more when his already split lip, re-splits and starts to bleed. “Ah, fuck,” he hisses, grabbing a napkin to press against it as he makes a disgruntled face.

“Stiles,” Nikki snaps.

“What?” he replies as if it’s not incredibly obvious.

Mike surprises himself by jumping in: “What the hell happened to you, man?”

It dawns on Stiles that they’re not letting it go and he sags a bit in his seat. Then says: “Nothing, I promise. It was just an accident, really.”

That’s just a thousand red flags there and Maya takes the lead for them, putting a hand on Stiles shoulder and saying in a soft voice: “We’re not going to judge you, promise. But right now, not knowing is so much worse.”

“Derek told me not to come,” Stiles sighs after a moment. “I knew it was stupid, but I wanted to come. I mean, he only had Boyd and Erica with him, because all the others were too far away. That wasn’t enough.”

“What were they doing?” Nikki asks, unable to keep her mouth shut and be patient.

Luckily, Stiles isn’t silenced by it. “Derek lives on the preserve, it’s in the middle of the forest and something was killing the animals. It was a mountain lion, we have a lot of animal attacks. They wanted to take it out before it moved into the town.”

Mike remembers Stiles telling him Erica was a park ranger, but Boyd was a carpenter and he knew nothing about Derek, which is weird on its own. Stiles loved bragging about his friends, or would casually comment about them or pick up the phone with their name on his lips, but Mike had before now heard the name Derek only once.

“Of course I tripped over a few branches in the dark,” Stiles laughs self-deprecatingly. “I should have known better. I’m a klutz, you know. Though I did get a hit in, before I went down in a not so glorious blaze of branches and a curse.”

“You hit a mountain lion?” Kai whisper yells.

“Yeah, with my bat,” Stiles shrugs, like it’s a normal thing.

“Dude, are you insane?” Mike asks.

“Oh, okay, I see what’s happening here,” Stiles backs up, like they didn’t make sense before now. “I didn’t want to admit I fell, because it’s embarrassing as fuck. And like, I know I’m clumsy, but after all the running away from shit trying to kill me, one would think I’d have gotten better at it, but noooo. I am surrounded by people who can do crazy shit, while I hit my head on a fucking branch, because why not.”

“Stiles!” Nikke cuts him off. “Running away from things trying to kill you? What the hell.”

“I was getting there,” Stiles says, though it’s obvious to all of them that he was getting further and further away from the point. “When I was in high school there were all these murders in town. My friend was targeted at one point, I got caught up in it. Nothing makes a friendship like getting locked into a school and running from a crazed murderer or holding someone up in a pool for two hours. It was a whole thing. Plus my father is the sheriff.”

“What the fuck,” Nikki voices the shared sentiment after a moment to process.

“Wait, here I have proof,” Stiles taps away on his phone, before showing a news article with the tagline reading: Five teens trapped in high school with murderer still on the loose

After letting them read it, he puts his phone in his pocket and proudly says: “We’re having a project about crimes in our hometown right now and I have an advantage over the rest.”

“That’s- That’s not-” Maya stutters. “…Stiles…”

“What?” he says confused, as if what he just bragged about isn’t heartbreaking. God, no wonder he’s a bit fucked from it all. Mike would want to know if all his friends are okay if he nearly saw them all killed alongside him.

“Are you, like, okay?” Mike asks.

“Probably not, like in general,” Stiles tells him honestly, “but I am really fine. As fine as I get anyway. Derek says I have to work on that, but he’s not the boss of me and I actually am doing better. I don’t know why I’m telling you all this, sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” Maya smiles kindly. “We just want to know you’re okay. Thanks for trusting us with that. Did you get those wounds checked out?”

“I did,” he returns her smile. “Got a clean bill of health and everything. Dad wouldn’t let me drive back before that.”

“Good,” Aalif says.

They’re all quiet for a moment, before the thing that has been niggling on his mind comes out. He asks: “Who is this Derek person anyway?”

Stiles regards them all for a moment, before saying: “I don’t think we reached that level of friendship yet. Sorry. Like, you’re all my friends and stuff and I like bragging about my other friends to you, but I don’t know.”

“What?” Mike exclaims as Nikki points out: “You just told us you nearly got murdered, but telling us about a friend is a step too far?”

“You know, that is actually a good point,” Stiles says. “I must still be a bit lightheaded from everything, I normally don’t tell people that.”

“Should we take you to a hospital? Kai asks worriedly.

“No, no, I’m kidding, I think,” Stiles jokes, before quickly adding, “I am truly kidding, please don’t take me to a hospital. God, no one appreciates my humor.”

“Stiles,” Aalif sighs tiredly when Stiles deftly gets them on a different topic than Derek.

“Derek is my husband,” Stiles finally tells them, shutting them all up as they stare at them with their jaws on the floor. That explains Stiles trips home and lack of partying or otherwise getting laid, he had a whole fucking husband waiting for him at home.

None of them could know that Stiles’ reluctance to talk about Derek and his relation is that as a prominent alpha, broadcasting that they were ‘mated’ (and yes, Derek, that term is still weird to a human) isn’t really smart. Especially after everything that had already come to Beacon Hills.

“Y- Your husband?!?” Kai squeaks.

“This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you all,” Stiles groans. “You can’t imagine the rumor mill at home when it happened, like seriously, people were acting like I was signing my life away to the devil or something.”

“Why?” Maya asks and Mike has to agree. Marriage so early isn’t exactly uncommon, it just took them by surprise this time. What would make this different.

“I-” Stiles looks genuinely sheepish, “I might have gotten him arrested for a murder he didn’t commit and stuff. But that was like, what? Two, three years ago.”

Immediately their table exploded, voices overlapping, because – again – what the fuck.

“He didn’t do it!” Stiles exclaims, shutting them all up. “He was framed. Set up. Look, I know he wasn’t the killer. Derek saved my life, like a bazillion times at this point. I love him.”

Despite the bruises, the look on his face is quite clear with love oozing off of it. Like full on, ‘Disney princess, soulmate, found the one’-love. It’s a bit disgusting in Mike’s terribly single opinion.

“Well, then I want to see him,” Nikki demands. “You can’t tell us you got swept off your feet by a mysterious would be murderer and not expect us to want to see him.”

Stiles shoots them all a suspicious look, which is pretty rude all things considering, but Mike lets it slide in favor of satiating his curiosity. Then Stiles pulls out his phone, showing them a sequence of pictures that said more than words could.

It’s obviously their wedding day. They’re both in full suits, standing in a forest with the sunset hitting them, putting them in a glow of light. Derek is apparently a handsome, muscled man, who screams not bad boy as much as serial killer.

The first picture is pretty standard. They’re looking at each other, Derek’s bad boy vibe killed by the fact that he is smiling softly at Stiles, who is smiling back. Derek’s smile is toothachingly fond in a way that Mike feels in his chest.

In the second picture, the murder vibes are back in full force, with Derek glaring at Stiles, who looks like he’s saying something, his face smug like it’s an inside joke, his hands up to gesture like he always does.

Then, in the last picture, Stiles has Derek’s cheeks between his hand, face contorted in something Mike would call a coo, if Derek didn’t look like the kind of guy who would allow anything resembling a coo being directed at him. Though, Mike might have to rethink that assumption, because while Derek is raising one murderous eyebrow, the smile has returned again.

“I am his favourite annoyance,” Stiles announces proudly. “It’s wonderful how much bugging someone can do.”

And all of them would have guessed Derek was the one, who had pursued Stiles, but here Stiles is, telling them all about how he is a master at befriending people and Derek honestly needed someone to tell him how horrible he was at decorating or socializing, before fixing it for him.

Beside him, Nikki mutters: “Dear god, he has an ‘I can fix him’-mentality. We’re doomed.”

“I heard that!” Stiles exclaims indignantly, though he doesn’t deny it per se. But when Nikki’s soda arrives, it explodes in her face and Mike would almost suspect Stiles had something to do with it if he had to go off the smug look.

They drop the topic of Stiles injuries and apparent husband, for the evening, which Stiles seems grateful for at least, before catching him up on campus gossip. Still, they keep their eye on him and it’s hard to forget with his face all fucked up.

When they leave, Maya leans in and whispers to Mike: “Keep an eye on him for us, okay?”

He nods quickly, before hurrying after Stiles, who is yelling at him to hurry or he’ll drive back without him.

Mike also keeps his word, so when Stiles’ phone starts to ring, he pretends to be engrossed in his book, while secretly keeping an ear on Stiles’ conversation. He usually doesn’t listen in, unless something is so weird it breaks through his mental barriers, but he feels like this can be an exception.

“Hey there, big guy,” Stiles greets, voice much gentler than Mike ever remembered it being.

“Yeah, worrywolf, I’m fine,” Stiles tells whoever is on the other side. “Dad wouldn’t have let me drive otherwise and neither would you for that matter. You checked me yourself before letting me go, quite thoroughly I might add.”

And that last part is definitely an innuendo, dear god, Mike did not want to know that. However, it is confirmation that it’s Derek on the line, so he listens even harder.

“I know I overdid it, but no one got hurt except a few bruises on me,” Stiles argues. “And I get hurt even when I’m not in danger, you know how doors and the air are my biggest enemies. Come on, Derek. If it was bad, I would have told you. We promised remember? You made it part of our vows, because you are a complete softie.”

Okay, Mike isn’t going to lie, that’s actually pretty cute and he slightly hates that he’s becoming team Derek when all he knows is that he was (falsely) arrested for murder and married to Stiles, who comes running home when called on.

“I promise not to run into danger again,” Stiles tells Derek. “Well, I promise not to run needlessly into danger again and honestly one could argue that this time wasn’t needlessly, because you are my damsel in distress as much as you want to cast me in that roll.” A beat. “Yes, I will never let you forget the pool, we discussed this.”

“Yes, Derek, I always take care of my wounds,” Stiles rolls his eyes. “I’ll even send you picture updates and call you every day. How does that sound?”

Oh god, Derek is actually a concerned boyfriend – excuse me, husband – who needs updates and called the day Stiles left because he was worried. Mike is never going to be able to tell the others that without it turning into a riot.

“Great, because I am going to bed,” Stiles says. “Midterms are coming up and while spending time with you is a hundred times better, I actually need to pass these if I ever want to get a degree. So, goodbye, I love you.”

A bit of silence, then a very love-filled chuckle: “Of course I’m going to think of you. I always sleep better with you, you know that. Now bye. Love you, again and always.”

Fucking hell, Mike is going to die of a toothache, caused by his happily married roommate, which is honestly where his life is at right now.

Though, Mike can honestly live with a weird roommate. It’s a source of entertainment and he now can rest knowing Stiles has someone watching out for him, preventing him from going off the deep end, which was an honest concern.

Stiles is weird, but with what Mike knows, he’s allowed to be a bit strange and he honestly doesn’t want to know more than he does.

~~

A/N:

Disclaimer: I am not shitting on parties, if you like them, go nuts. I just don’t drink and hate social interaction, so I wouldn't know how to write a good party scene even if I wanted to, lmao.

Idk how well it came through, but Stiles is magic and burned his hands while overdoing it in the fight he got injured in. He also totally exploded Nikki’s drink as petty revenge, his herbs are also related to magic.

[theprinceandthewitch]

I still don't see how people can legitimately argue TOH was subverting romantic expectations when it doesn't... actually do that.

In order for this kind of subversion to work, you need to address why Luz and Hunter getting together is detrimental to them. But at no point do the writers actually show us WHY Hunter and Luz aren't a good fit for each other. You'd expect them to be very careful in how they go about writing Luz's and Hunter's relationship - like making sure Willow is the most important character to Hunter's arc.

But they don't actually do that - instead of having Willow act as the catalyst for Hunter's arc it's Luz. She is there for all of Hunter's important moments... which is not what you would do if your goal was to actually subvert romantic expectations. Another thing you don't do is make Luz and Hunter parallels to past lovers who are deeply tied to the story's villain.

People tend to use Witches Before Wizards as evidence of a subversion of romantic expectations... but that was used to foreshadow Belos' true nature and Hunters' relationship to him [Sense and Insensitivity does this as well... like they rlly wanted to make it clear Belos' and Hunter's relationship was something integral to the story]. I also need to point out WBW comes right after the first episode - which has a talking point about how you shouldn't punished for something as innocuous as shipping. So to have the first episode be proceeded by an episode that establishes Luz's relationship to a prince as something VERY IMPORTANT because of how it relates to the story's villain is... hmm... suspicious to say the least. I don't think this is something they'd do if their goal was to create an argument against Luz and Hunter getting together.

Even if you wanted to make a case by using Eclipse Lake as evidence for Hunter and Luz being bad for each other - it still doesn't work. Yes, Hunter, in Eclipse Lake is technically making a choice between Luz and Belos like he did in Hunting Palismen. But here's the thing: this choice isn't used BY THE WRITERS to argue why Hunter and Luz would be bad for each other. If it was intended to be used against Luz/Hunter then Luz's perception of Hunter would have changed and his choice would be used as a point of contention between them. This would have been a perfect way to insert Willow into Hollow Mind instead of Luz.... but they don't do that.

They don't do that because Hunter's and Luz's relationship was never intended to be painted in a negative light.

In fact, Hollow Mind goes so far as to parallel them with Caleb and Evelyn. And I'm not talking about making Evelyn's appearance more like Luz than Willow. I'm talking abut stuff like this:

Must I rlly point out why this is so crazy... just look at the bottom left corner...

here's a more HD version of the painting:

There's also the parallel of Caleb/Hunter being "lured away" from Philip by a witch from another world... with the bonus points of Evelyn/Luz expecting the arrival of a new family member. Which is unbelievably haunting to me btw LMAO.

Thanks to Them takes it even further by telling the story of Caleb and Evelyn.... while Luz is dressed as a witch and Hunter is cosplaying as a human... and they made sure Luz was sitting right next to Hunter when the story was being told... I'm not making this shit up - that's literally what happened. Once again, this was another moment that could have been given to Willow instead of Luz.... but it's not.

[A/N: Seeing Luz sit next to Hunter with her gf right before the writers release the Caleb/Evelyn bombshell on them is so fucking funny. This entire episode is a joy to sit through because it reads like an episode written by someone who doesn't like Lumity and Huntlow. I don't know how they could have written the most anti-Lumity and anti-Huntlow episode in the show accidentally, but they did. 10/10 episode tbh.]

Then there is Luz's association with wolves highlighted by Hunter's newfound love of wolves... then there is Flapjack only letting Luz use him during their fight with Belos... then there is Flapjack flying to Luz instead of Willow when he's on his deathbed... FINALLY, there is Hunter coming back to life looking like Caleb and pleading with Luz - who is still dressed as a witch - to help him fight his grand-uncle-brother.

I also want to note Willow's costume in TTT takes design cues from Evelyn's stereotypes. I don't think this was intentional, because if it was then that would have been used to foreshadow Hunter NOT ending up with Willow. But it is very funny to me and I like to think that it was a sneaky move done by a Huntlow hater in the crew... I know I would do something like this if I was forced to make Hunter and Willow a thing LOL.

So yeah, you'd think they'd give all this stuff to Willow instead of Luz, since they intended to culminate Hunter's arc with him holding pinkies with Willow instead of helping Luz fight Belos.

At this point you're probably thinking... hmm... if the writers always intended to make Luzs and Hunters relationship detrimental to their stories, then they're not doing a very good job at it. And you'd be right... because they never intended to write an argument against it in the first place.

Even though they wanted Hunter to be paired off with Willow, they never bothered to make sure she's there for all of his important moments. Instead, Hunter's important moments are given to Luz - the only character in this show who has a thing for angsty warrior princes with tragic yet compelling backstories.

And I havent the faintest fucking idea why they though this was a good idea... but I sure do know it wasn't because they wanted to create a compelling argument against Luz/Hunter.

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Round 1

Propaganda why Jimmy is insufferable:

"The most chillingly real depiction of one of those men that think the world owes them everything. He's a rapist, a misogynist, abelist, self-centered, abusive, terrible friend and person that gets everyone killed because he was big mad about being laid off. It shocks me that there are apparently people out there that play the game and like him. He's so evil, but never in a way that makes him cartoonish, and that makes him all the more terrible. The game lays it out itself: he won't take responsibility for anything. He is never the villain in his own eyes. Scumbag."

"Tbh he's not just insufferable. He's disgusting. I can't even list all the horrible things he did because they would need multiple trigger warnings. He thinks that he's so high and mighty to the point where he betrays his own captain so that he can take his place, and then blames his actions and the ship crashing on said captain, who was actually trying to save them. So all of the crew died in one way or another (because of Jimmy's actions) thinking that their captain betrayed them when really if was him. And a quick Google search can tell you all the really nasty shit that he did. So not only is he insufferable, he's also just a horrible human being."

"Listen, I'm not even in the fandom and I know what his ass did. Screw this guy"

"Bro never takes responsibility for anything he did. Assuming he even acknowledges it *vaguely motions at what he did to Anya*"

"SA, causing a ship to crash, murder and elongating his friend's suffering in a cryopod for 20 years"

"He's literally the worst. He's a rapist, he framed his friend for attempted murder-suicide after getting him mutilated, and he either directly or indirectly killed everyone else. He's such an unreliable narrator that it's difficult to tell how the others of the Tulpar crew actually are because he sees everyone as beneath him."

"rape, murder, just generally being an asshole"

"LITERALLY A RAPIST"

Propaganda why Blitzo is insufferable:

"“Fuck!” Ahahaha funny! “Balls!” Ahahaha funny! “*Cock* and balls!” Ahahaha funny!"

"The guy is a good father, but otherwise he's a shitty person."

"I know they are supposed to get character development and that he has issues with relationships but damn he's an asshole. When you think he's finally getting along with he's employing he later casually insults them and he plays victim a lot."

[authoratmidnight]

So, now that I've finished watching (rewatching technically) Transformers Animated I wanna babble about it a bit.

My short, spoiler free take is: It's actually really good and I like what they were doing in this universe.

Longer, not spoiler free rambles under the cut-

So like, I did watch this a long time ago, when it first aired. Problem is I really don't/didn't remember like, anything? Or like, major plot things.

A non comprehensive list of things I /did/ remember from Animated:

Prowl was my fav bc b/c a ninja motor bike is cool

I loved this version of Bumblebee. His design looked like a lil kitty cat, a lil tiger, one of my fav Bees. Just a lil guy. Lil baby.

Black Arachnia, her hitting on Optimus and once being Elita One

the Dinobots, Grimlock specifically. love me some dino robots

the 'Sari is the a robot' reveal

their space ship transforms into a massive robot

Blurr gets cubed and everyone debating on if he was alive or not (he is. as pointed out, bots turn grey here when they die and cube!Blurr was NOT grey, so that's some fridge horror for you)

Prowl died and I was VERY sad about this

Weird Al voiced a robot called Wreck Gar and there was a 'dare to be stupid' reference in the episode

So like, while I don't remember-remember it, I remember things from it and I seem to recall I did enjoy it (given I recall Prowl's death I clearly DID watch it to the end so I clearly didn't hate it). And upon rewatching it I can 100% this appealing to younger me (quick math says I would have been, about 16 when it aired. which is older than I thought tbh).

It wasn't my first foray into Transformers either, tho I think the first one I probably really enjoyed and watched all of. I seem to recall watching some of Beast Wars and Armada (legit the ONLY part of Armada I remember was that bit where Optimus died out in space lmao), so I knew OF Transformers to some degree. Plus I think I'd learned surface level information from my dad. But it was the first series I did fully consume and enjoyed. So I could have done worse. But given I don't actually remember my first watch of it too well I can't say if it was better or as good as I remember b/c I don't remember lol. But it is good.

That said, what ARE my thoughts on it?

The Story/Setting:

Knowing what I DO know about Transformers now I can see how different it is from most continuities and how the lore differs (Prime and Magnus just seem to be like, ranks/titles, and Prime doesn't seem to hold nearly the weight as in like every other continuity). But like, I don't hate it. It's actually kind of a fresh change. And it does some unique things, like how characters can just be, taken apart and still live so long as their spark remains undamaged/their body isn't to badly damaged (we literally have heads getting popped off like barbie dolls and everyone is fine lol).

It manages to flop between goofy as fuck and, actually a bit grim at times, and it works (once again, solidifying my belief that Transformers is and always has been, funny as shit and people who poo-poo on the humor are boring edgelords)

I kinda fuck with this universe actually, wish we HAD gotten that s4.

And the changes it makes to the CHARACTERS to fit with the universe is neat too and it, kinda works.

The Characters:

So like, this version of Optimus (and the main core cast of Autobots really) is like, just A Guy. Like, the most Just a Guy that Optimus could possibly be. He's not this war weary, battle hardened warrior and great renowned leader. He is literally just A Guy. The equivalent of a college drop out. And the meeting with Megatron at the start of the series is literally their first meeting. No history here.

And I think that's kind of an interesting take. (Also I found a really funny fic the other day that's basically 'Megatron realizes that the 'elite warriors' they've been fighting are in fact just Some Guys and the revelation is MORTIFYING' i'll link it later).

Prowl. I'm sorry but this my guy. This is my Prowl. I know he is totally different than like every other Prowl in existence but UNFORTUNATELY this was my introduction tot he character and the robo ninja that turns into a bike imprinted on teenage me's psyche b/c honestly that concept fucks. He's my favourite and I was super sad when he died.

Also just 'robot ninja' is fucking cool haha

I loved this Bumblebee's design, it slaps. He's like a lil kitty man. He's so much fun. Yapped so much that when they made the movies they're like 'ok we NEED to shut this guy up' haha.

I think I totally forgot Bulkhead was in Animated but like, I love this dude??? Don't get me wrong I like Prime Bulkhead as well but Animated Bulkhead just, is so fun, and they did MORE with him aside from 'smashes shit real good'. He gets to have a special interest and be good at ONE (1) thing and that's space bridges. And he picks up art as a hobby! He has character and personality, I love it.

Honestly, the Autobots just being a bunch of regular guys (well, 4 regular guys and one war vet who REALLY wishes he'd retired long ago) is such a fun dynamic to have instead. And it works.

The Voices:

So like, I know Peter Cullen is THE voice of Optimus (despite the fact that I think more people that aren't him have voiced the character than he has but I digress) but in this case, NOT casting him actually makes sense. As I said, Optimus here is just A Guy. And a young one as well. Like Orion in Transformers One. So the deep, older sounding voice of OP Optimus wouldn't fit the character. And this voice does.

I DO however find it really funny that the voice actor for Optimus (David Kaye) previously voiced Megatron in other Transformers series. Man could voice a whole Optimus-Megatron fight on his own now.

Honestly, all the voice choices fit the characters as established in this series.

Special mention to Shockwave, who apparently is voiced by his OG VOICE ACTOR. That's kinda dope. And he has a perfectly spooky voice (also I really enjoyed this version of Shockwave. Man is out here being Megatron's specialist little boy and loving it)

Also I love that the opening is just a remix/modernized version of the OP opening that we all know. That's cool and it slaps.

Yeah, TFA does aim a biiiit younger for it's audience than some series but that's not a bad thing and it's still a damn good show. It's not like "kiddy" in that patronizing way. It's good and it holds up well I think.

Also here's that fic I mentioned earlier, go read it it's funny.

Revelations

[trashogram]

i think the worst creative mistakes viv ever made with HB is letting Brandon rogers into the writing room, because she wanted the show to be more action but it’s brandon who wanted the shipping and i feel like that in turn ruined all the other characters because they had to make stolas look good, i remember when he was just the rich guy blitz was fucking and i miss when the show wasn’t romantic 😔

Really??? I’m not at all calling you a liar, please don’t take it that way! But I’m curious where you got this information/belief because I’ve heard (and felt tbh) the exact opposite?

It seems a lot more in line with Vivienne to be all about shipping. Her background is being in fandom — I first got into her art around 2008 on DA, which used to be a lot more popular than it is today and fandom culture thrived there along with Livejournal and FF.net as well as various forum boards. She’s been engaged with and made content for online fandom for years, and fandom has an unfortunate history of fetishizing gay romance between fictional characters to the point of openly hateful rhetoric toward any other characters in the show that might get in the way of their mlm ship — especially female characters. It’s also Vivienne’s shows, with her name on them as the main creator, that prioritize male characters and emphasizes their angst/how pathetic she can possibly make them.

Brandon’s career has mainly consisted of comedy sketches from my understanding, not so much romantic content (has he made legitimate romance content??? I apologize, I’m not really familiar with his work.) or action — Brandon’s sketches are very fast-paced/quick cuts but idk if that’s on par with an Avengers flick. He has a background in crafting jokes not Vivienne, and I assumed Viv knew that so she hired him on to assist with Helluva Boss as it was initially pitched to be a dark comedy.

I also find it hard to believe that Brandon, the VA for Blitzø (our initial and supposed main character in HB), would be happy to have his character not only sidelined in his own show, but legitimately brutalized by the narrative and characters for… not returning the feelings of a whiny rich speciesist prince that coerced him into what essentially amounts to sex trafficking just so Blitzø can put food on the table? Brandon most likely came into this thinking he was creating more comedy, but I don’t see how this twisted melodrama is all that funny. I have personally made a fair few jokes about how I would be extremely disheartened by how Helluva Boss has mistreated Blitzø if I was Brandon.

I agree that the characters in Helluva Boss have all been ruined for Stolas’s sake, and for the Stolitz ship. I also wish it wasn’t romantic, not because I can’t enjoy romantic stories but because HB isn’t good at it.

[minrathian]

escapism thy name is tashur (or viperquin, or what have you)-- fanwork recs

Hey listen. It was a shit week and I am about as optimistic as Tarquin about the year ahead. So, as I head into the weekend, I am protecting my peace by metaphorically pulling the covers over my head and building a blanket fort out of fanworks About Them. If you also hate it here and want to go to secret gardens in your mind, here in no particular order is my annotated list of the Tarquin x Ashur/Tashur/Viperquin fanworks that are getting me out of my head, lately.

Obligatory disclaimers: YMMV, there are so many good works in this fandom and this list is not exhaustive/will be updated periodically, mind the ratings, enjoy responsibly, &c.  And, thanks to everyone who's creating things for this pairing and folks who are reading/reblogging stuff about them, too. I'm way out of practice at fandom and mostly lurk, but it's a really lovely little creative community to be a part of even in a low-key way.

Kiss me when you’re done (series– explicit), thismission I haven’t had a single thought in my head any of the approximately 20 times I have read this modern AU series. It feels like your own personal bodyguard has taken you by the hand and is leading you around at a party: your brain is turned off and you are just trusting the process. It’s hot and it’s also such a deeply interesting character exploration of what these people might be like here and now, but without making me actually think many thoughts about the here and now really at all. And, bonus, it really captures the  “get the fuck out of here with these feelings I’m not thinking about” Tarquin vibe and the “oh my god he’s so hot I’m immediately obsessed with him” Ashur vibe, which *I* am personally devoted to for this ship. Anyway I’m obsessed with this.

Most Holy, magemance This is my phone lockscreen and wallpaper and the day I made that decision was not only a good day, but also marks the day I noticed my phone battery was draining faster for some reason? Looking at this never fails to make me smile and so I stare at this and make chinhands and kick my little feet for hours out of a day.  I’m sure that’s no connection to the phone battery issue. Probably. 

Oh No! I’ve Been Hit By Evil Cultist Blood Magic! (explicit), knight0fcups This is immersive, there’s so many little details from Ashur’s POV that it’s just really easy to fall into and live there for a bit. This is sex pollen/fuck-or-die done SO well– I don’t seek out those tropes most of the time but I’m so glad this exists because it is fucking delightful from start to finish, snappy and clever and funny as fuck. There is a line that Tarquin says in this fic that made me laugh so loudly,  I startled my dog. I won’t tell you what it is because you deserve to discover it for yourself. It is perfect, 15/10 no notes. Well, some notes. These notes, that I wrote. You get it.

moments we stole from the blight, rookfeathers One of the first pieces of Tashur art that lured me back to tumblr/fandom, this one has a special place in my heart for that alone, but– WALL KISSES. THE HANDS. THE DESPERATION IS PALPABLE but in a GOOD way.

Won’t you stay with me, my darling, (when my walls start burning down),(explicit), decant This is just. It’s just!!! So good! This hurts in such a particularly good way. It’s the “I’ve escaped to a MORE tragic timeline” kind of escapism. The level of despair is just…pervasive and perfect for blighted Minrathous, and Tarquin dealing with blighted Minrathous and the certainty of losing Ashur. AND YET. There’s just enough of something not-quite-hopeful filtering through the whole thing to really round it out. I don’t necessarily want to escape to blighted Minrathous (a lateral fuckin move in these times TBH) but I do love briefly visiting via this story.

Midnight rendezvous, J0ypatron (joy-jpg) Ahhhh I take one look at this and I am immediately blasting “Come to my window” by Melissa Etheridge. Just, immediately. That, and thinking of the balcony scene from Romeo & Juliet, only with a grumpy wet cat of a man yelling “Fuck off,” but like, in a loving way, at his boyfriend, who also happens to be the Imperial Divine.  

Courting Traditions of the Oblivious Soporatus, (teen and up), bendingwind Look, I am super biased about this one because I have so many thoughts about courting traditions in Tevinter, and Z wrote this incredibly rich story that somehow made all my Soporati courting tradition dreams come true??? Miracles happen. It’s SO DELIGHTFUL. Screaming, crying, clutching my face with joy. Also: the strawberries??? Pls.

tarquin sees ashur’s face for the first time, fadesense I love everything about this. The name of the dog. The way Tarquin’s hair looks. Tarquin’s face and general disposition. Ashur knowing it was Tarquin. Ashur petting the dog. I am transported to a world where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts. 

Holy matrimony, hesketh This is so fucking fun and also so sweet and those are two things that instantly send me to another planet in the best way. The pace is great and the banter is top tier 110/10 no notes and it also has bonus!Dorian being a delightful, handsome menace, as he is wont to be. Perfection.

Ashur and Tarquin fighting together, archfey-edda Like the artist, I ALSO just wanted to see them kicking ass together in the game, and this is SO COOL. Love love love a little glimpse of Ashur being a badass mage and the thought! Of him fighting back to back with Tarquin! I have ascended.  The movement and the light in this is also just stunning, I could stare at it for hours.

Gnosis, asyouwes You wouldn’t think a story that makes me reflect on my own fraught relationship with organized religion would be on an escapism list but here we are– sometimes it’s easier to engage with those feelings at arm’s length, through someone else’s eyes. And, I’m a big fan of stories that capture a very particular mood or feeling and this one really does that well. 

i have shed my skin, look at me now, (mature) frigid Nothing gets you out of your own head quite like a good werewolf/vampire AU. Really loving the overlay of cryptid stuff with the Shadow Dragons and everything going on in Tevinter.

Quick tashur doodle, loustica-lucia The LEANING. The FOREHEAD TOUCHING. The way Tarquin’s exhale LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE HEART. I live here now. Forward my mail here. You will not be hearing from me, but you can forward my mail here anyway.

Like sweet dreams, (explicit), greygerbil  The absolute best morning-after-we-hooked-up kind of story, where they’re both kinda nervous but then it’s all fine because of course these feelings are reciprocated. Reading this is like one long exhale: my shoulders aren’t pressed up against my ears, that pesky knot of tension in every single one of my muscles has momentarily vanished, everything is fine and lovely. 

Constant Like Cicadas in the Summertime, goldenringboy A little bit of wine drunk, a lot of grade A++++ pining, lovely visuals. Did I mention the pining??? The pining.

Two Heads are Better than One (explicit), thismission Clonefucking. That's it, that's the summary. I-- just read it, ok?

Flirt, bendingwind Fake dating because Ashur gazes at Tarquin too much and all the Shadows assume they're together...until they are? Please. I am WEAK.

Servus Servorum Creatoris (explicit), Anon Religious imagery in PWP??? It's more likely than you might think. And just as delicious.

Bonus (it’s not art of both of them but it’s a delight to me): Modern Tarquin in a t-shirt being ineffably, perfectly Tarquin, rookfeathers. 

[necrotic-nephilim]

thank you for the tag, @sasheneskywalker!!!

rules: answer and tag nine people you want to get to know better and catch up with.

favorite color: it changes regularly, but currently, a dusty/greyish purple

last song: Maps by The Front Bottoms

currently reading:

Butcher & Blackbird by Brynne Weaver is my current fiction read and i *hate* it with my entire being. don't read it.

Postcolonial Astrology: Reading the Planets through Capital, Labor, & Power by Alice Sparkly Kat is my current non-fiction read and so far, it's very good

i'm reading a lot of comics at the moment, but my main read is Manhunter (2004) which so far, is very good, i highly recommend. i'm also planning to read Midnighter (2007) and Black Widow (2014).

currently watching:

The Acolyte has been my most recent fixation so that's just on loop rewatching over and over in the background. a lot

i've been watching Pennyworth which is far better than i expected it to be, i'm really enjoying it

i also started Invincible, which i've been enjoying

idk if it counts but i've rewatched Madame Web a concerning number of times in the past few days.

currently craving: i'd kill for an Italian Cream Soda from tea2go rn

coffee or tea: tea. i used to be a big coffee person in my teens but my chronic illness doesn't like caffeine and it *really* doesn't like coffee so i just drink tea now, but i do love tea

hobby to try: the unrealistic hobby i'd like to get into a fanfiction binding, but that takes materials and resources i do *not* currently have. i think a more realistic answer is i've been meaning to get into marvel comics more.

current au: tbh the main AU i'm working on is a Lance Brunner-centric Post-Crisis fic where i'm completely rewriting his origins to make his death as Robin more significant but still something no one talks about, leading to the ressurection of Jason also reviving Lance and Jason going on his little spree, having no idea he's not the only dead Robin. i've figured out all of the backstory and how i want to characterize Lance, but the actual plot of the fic i'm still working out. i'm leaning toward Lance/Dick as a ship, but i haven't decided. i have so many notes and ideas though and i think it's funny to take a random one-off character from a random 60s comic and actually turn him into something substantial and how he'd shape the Batfamily. trust me i'm so close to infodumping about it here everyday.

i'm also working on a *really* messed up unhealthy Damian/Tim fic, where Damian purposefully breaks the timeline so Tim was never Robin and Damian was the third Robin instead. but when Bruce "dies" Damian realizes he has no idea where to start with finding Bruce so he has to go to a civilian!Tim for help, who has no idea the timeline was changed or that he was ever Robin in a different world. it's gonna be fun and fucked up and full of Damian's jealousy complex over Tim.

i don't know if i can come up with nine whole people to tag for this since i'm still new here but i can try: @searchforahero @divine-dominion @kevin-day-is-bi @kerakeriza @deepwithintheabyss

@maryshellyswife @alicemaem @justmyshittyspace @sandmanwhore and yeah that's all i got.just tagging some mutuals/ppl i see on my posts a lot!!!

[joltning]

@fishfingersalad it’s almost 2am but i can’t sleep and ts probably only going to be seen by like 5 people anyway so let it rip

this au started out as a self indulgent pocket sized au that I ignore as all my aus do…..then I couldn’t sleep and started imagining things im good at that. it started as an au I could do ship focus on and well I love lore I guess. despite all this the main story still focuses on my blorbos. maybe I will make a storyline for the main cast, if I can imagine things again

one day, all across (abridged) America (this is why I made that carolina/puerto rico/dc post btw), 50 children, each for 1 state, pop up at the same time, with varying ages, mostly tween years but with some variation up and down. while some are humanoid creatures, others are completely monstrous and lack sentience. however, they all share one common factor: a tag identifying what state they came from. The majority of the sentient ones assume this is their name, and that’s why they run with it.

conspiracy theorists and cryptid fans nationwide take notice of a bunch of shit happening overnight and develop “The 50” list. depending on if it’s commonly agreed upon what monster you are and if it’s commonly agreed upon what state you’re from, you’ll be ranked higher or lower on the list, with, of course, the highest ranking being the most sought after and hidden. Most of the higher tiered creatures are humanoid; it’s easier to blend in if you don’t look out of place

i forgot to mention Btw it’s like. myths and legends and shit too. i mentioned york being the pied Piper I also think the implication that the pied Piper is a monster is funny. also only one monster per person and

ofc my blorbos…….Everyone run now!!!! Ohio has just moved to a new city yay go girl But her coworkers are fucked up!!! There’s this bitch Sherry that she may or may not have a crush on and like her two little friends who absolutely know that. but Watch out there’s a freaky green man It’s Georgia her old friend Georgia. they were their first freelancer friends but geo Loves making deals for souls slash servitude slash their power slash take over the world slash he doesn’t know what souls are and neither do I. but they gotta be normal and not fight in the office.!!! And fight outside of a Walmart at 2 instead. he’s kinda bad at it though which is why only Ohio cares.

anywya Sherry keeps running into Ohio and Georgia fighting and you know Ohio’s kind of like. well if you see her when she’s not masking you’ll probably go insane huh. so Ohio has to keep wiping her memories and Sherry’s getting CRAZY deja vu.

this is so stressful Good thing Ohio’s got her trusty friends Iowa and Idaho!!! They’re causing chaos somewhere else but she’s always texting them and video chatting. hopefully they can meet up again soon!!

Utah is a paranormal investigator and currently georgia’s only the only person who’s currently made a deal with him. he’s made past deals but Ohio scared them off by ‘Do Not Be Afraid’ing them. it’s either that or they have to get killed lest the green fuck get too powerful and Ohio would rather not do that thanks. utah doesn’t even get anything in return he just wants to know wtf is going on tbh. Georgia stays at his apartment because he’s a squatter I guess

well That’s too bad I guess I can’t share any more because they’re just plotpoints. hey do you wanna know what the other freelancers are

Ohio: Angel (duh. So low because when she spawned she was literally in the middle of a bunch of people and blinded them with her corporeal form)

Georgia: Demon (the devil but literally this time. manages to be a little higher due to being able to teleport short distances. Stayed a little too close to home base, though.)

Iowa: Harpy (kept flying in the air like a dumbass everyone fucking saw him. denialists claim it to be a big bird. and they’re right.)

Idaho: Werewolf (he didn’t know until a full moon came out. oops.)

Carolina: Siren (keeps the bad singing voice.)

York: pied piper….

Wash: Shapeshifter

Florida: Alien (when he came on the fated day he rode in on a meteor instead of plopping in, breaking off the state from the rest of the US. its highly debated on whether or not the meteor itself was the creature.)

Maine: Bigfoot (but he shaves his whole body every day so he just looks like a big guy)

Connie: Kitsune

Wyoming: Fairy (despite being obvious, no one fuckinh lives in wyoming so he just flew far away immediately. fucks up the rankings of others by being spotted far away from his state.)

North: The Sandman (Both spawned across from eachother at the 2 state’s borders. They immediately declared eachother twins.)

South: Mare/Dream Eater (Their high ranking is very dependent on the confusion on which twin is which, since they work together to sleep and then feast.)

Tex: Ghost

you may see here I did not include Utah Did I forget No No No (kinda) I have an idea for what he is but i don’t intent to reveal it ever really. idk how id incorporate that. jsut know I searched really hard to find a creature that wasn’t a ghost that disrupted electromagnetic fields so that every time he went ghost hunting the machines would go off causing him to assert there was a ghost there. but no alas I did not find that

ok tahts it I think. for now. maybe. if you have any ideas for this background fucks wise or rnbs wise I would like them. for meThanks goodnight im gonna pass blout Out Out

[akane-kurokawa]

Chapter 150 thoughts!

Glad to be back in the nightmare hell scape! Fun Tokyo Blade vibes.

Bro is so BORED of the horrors. He looks at his sleep paralysis demon and goes “augh you again??”

The most obvious answer to 123 that we’ve all been waiting for for like a year.

Seriously though, on one hand it’s a bit annoying that we’re matter of facting this conclusion after a whole volume worth of playing the ‘What is Aqua thinking?’ game during the aqrb section of filming, it feels disproportionate to the buildup (a very common criticism for subplot resolutions lately)

On the other hand, they’re finally saying what everyone with reading comprehension has been thinking! Aqua doesn’t want this stupid badly written ship to happen, and neither does fucking Gorou!

But Gorou changing the subject from the big revenge life dream to “so what girls do you like” after he just admitted he was like, fading away is a little jarring to me. Maybe it’d read better with voice acting but right now it’s just a little tonally weird.

“You don’t need to act anymore” goes hard though, all things considered. Tbh, I don’t even really dislike the conversation, it just feels a little fast to me. It’s a dream sequence though so I’m being nit picky.

You and the girl who’s telling you not to worry about

Akane aggressively playing matchmaker is a pretty funny role for her, it utilizes her knowledge of people and Aqua adjacent manipulation skills while keeping her motives as well meaning yet overbearing as I’d expect from her.

The current dynamic of her Kana and Aqua has a very Kaguya feel, which I mean positively. It’s refreshing and reminds me why I like this cast and their interactions in the first place. Again, it’s a pretty stark contrast to the rest of this volume which has been steering into horror territory, but I’m suspecting this is probably to set us up for another tone shift later.

The dual flashbacks of their building crushes and feelings is very cute, I think their ship still walks the line of healthy and toxic, but it’s still built on a strongly established foundation. That said, there’s no way they get out right now and it works out. Not without at least one more solid complication first.

So happy for you to admit that, babe. Not gonna go well for you though.

[pavlovianpanic]

i've always argued that josh and chris have this very strong bond. i want to start by saying i absolutely adore their friendship. i think it's so important overall to the story, so any inferences we receive are mostly probably by some artists on the team that can get away with it. especially with the remake, seeing fan reactions now, it wasn't hard to slip chris 4 josh in there but notice it's not like chris <3 josh or chris + josh, it's still sort of vague enough that like "yeah, i'm here for you, bro!" or "i like you". i think it's intentionally vague to affirm some but not really piss anyone else off. chris is a goofy guy, and also we now know that's josh's truck for sure. makes sense. it's been there a while.

i've talked about all of that in multiple different posts. if you want to read them: chris 4 josh which goes over other relationships with josh and how i see ships with him, etc, and also is more "fair" and less biased towards "climbing class" or what i now just call "chris 4 josh" (and subsequently all my ship tags now follow that for consistency) bc i kinda like that better? climbing class always was a little goofy for my tastes personally, but they are goofy, so it does work, but also ... there's no real connection between them and the climbing class line, it's just kind of a joke? but i get it, there's not a lot of content, but i am here to petition for chris 4 josh as the new ship name. also ... just kind of weird that jossam shippers don't call it "bathing bird" as their ship name? or actually thirty love is a better ship name tbh. go with that. thirty love. not my ship, but there are better names than jossam, i think.

how does everyone in the ud group know each other?

a question about why josh "victimizes chris" and how their relationship should be viewed more critically.

i think josh has other friend groups and the ud kids aren't his main posse, but chris is his best friend.

i've harped on and on about how chris is the main champion for josh's mental health ... that he is the one that truly knows "the most" about josh, despite josh lying to him, too. josh lies to everyone. he's never been really honest with people, always divulging a sort of half-truth or version of himself (his best self) for people to consume more easily.

also, let's give chris some credit here, because he gets shit on a lot for being so inactive in the basement scene.

but think about what he has gone through compared to, say, mike. shocking, right? because mike is doing so much! but what has mike been doing before all of this? before jessica gets taken? having a great fucking time. he's scaring his friends, having snowball fights, getting catty in the lodge with matt if you choose to do-so or just watching his two love interests have at it, jokes with jess all the way there, has a scary moment and runs, then gets to try and fuck her all before getting into his more serious character arc. this is all purposeful, i'm not mad at mike for this. we need this to happen to him, right? to show that he's actually super capable, cares, and will go the distance. mike is the man you want going after you, no question. he is insane for going so hard after jessica, and continuing to pursue onward instead of going back. insane in a good way. i can see why he thinks he can be president.

but chris ... by comparison? not going so great. he's worried about josh, he's already had to climb over the wall before sam, has had to encourage sam to come, has to assuage her this is a good idea, all while trying to check in on josh, trying to have fun, trying to be a good guy with ashley, trying to be the funny guy, having to go through the lodge because josh told him to with a lighter, gets attacked by a wolverine, gets made fun of all while trying to be fun about it himself, goes through the whole ouija thing, goes through the whole basement thing, goes through the saw choice, goes through trying to find sam, goes through having to choose between himself and ashley, goes through josh's reveal, goes through having to tie josh up, goes through having to go back for josh as the only one willing to do so, sees josh might be gone and dead, sees the stranger die, gets attacked, and then almost dies before he gets to the basement? he is honestly exhausted. let someone else have the trauma stick. it's not his time anymore. he deserves to be more inactive towards the end. he just carried the game for us.

but josh cares for chris, chris cares for josh. i won't repeat all my other metas because this is a new meta.

when chris is told that josh's body can't be recovered? he's all but about to cry. he's had to lose josh so many times. he really thought josh might pull it out of the hat again just one last time. that he could be alive.

i've mentioned i think for the remake both endings for sam and josh are just outright lame. josh because it detracts from his narrative, sam because it's just plot holes for days and is unnecessary. as a roleplayer? good stuff, mostly for josh, but as an actual game that isn't catering to the 1% of roleplayers out there? bad decision. josh deserves redemption, but the horror of it all is that he cannot achieve it, instead being consumed by the same thing that consumed his sister(s). josh is doomed by the narrative more than anyone else because the narrative is mostly his story and the story of his family. you're not there for any reason other than josh as the player, he's called us here so we have answered his call (to greatness).

in the beta, josh outright denies sam, who is outright coming onto him. this isn't a sam comparison post btw, that's not what this is. but in the beta, he's still very devoted to chris, even more openly kind of too much. in the game we get, that angle is sort of scrapped entirely. josh and sam have their dynamic, chris and josh are best friends, sam and chris seemed to have some implied thing (ik i write her as a lesbian but i am a slave to canon, folks, chris could very well have been her intended love interest lmao), and chris likes ashley, and thus ashley likes chris. we get a structure of intentional coupling: josh and sam are single, ash and chris are the will they / won't they, and then we have the other four paired together kind of interchangeably (ik matt and jess aren't canon, but there's kind of an implied history with how easily they go after each other, at least in a friend way). this helps not isolate non-couple players. it's a game mechanic thing.

but what's interesting is how josh, who has a lot of front-facing conversations with chris, looks at him?

he's always got a kind of ... i don't want to say tenderness, but definitely a more authentic way of being, even when acting. he is acting to these kids as himself, which is why josh is so believable. josh plays josh very well.

he's looking at chris. in the original, it's the same, but much harder to see (model placement, camera placement, lighting, shading, etc). here, it's much more upfront and obvious, even without my psd. josh looks chris up and down, bites his lip, and nods. that's a very specific way to look at someone. i'll leave that up to you to interpret.

to me, i think josh probably liked chris, felt it wasn't received, encouraged him to date ashley, got mad about it, then got mad at chris for still liking ashley even after the prank, and sort of maybe punished him a bit for that but mostly made chris "his hero" for "his movie". you don't make someone your hero without really having an infinity for them, romantic or not.

chris has always valued josh as his highest even seeing him at his lowest. saying josh isn't on his meds if you don't find all the right clues isn't something was in hannah's diary, that is something chris knows about josh.

i think chris has come to the closest to knowing the real josh. he's the only one, i think, who notices when he's gone.

probably also important: josh's sexuality. for me, i generally choose for josh that women make him uncomfortable.

[rosescore245]

re: descriptive ship names for fs ships…. i fucking LOVE using colour combinations to refer to them. magenta for redvio. teal for glue. indigo for viblue. “gred” is really funny to me so i haven’t come up with a good combo for them, but i associate them with bloodstained or burning (red) grass or wheat stalks (green). similarly, “bludow” is a really fun name for them, but i Love the “deep sea” idea you floated (pun intended). reddow could be shaded embers….

AAAAAAA. FS SHIPS. MY FAVORITE.

I absolutely love the color-combos you brought up, and might I propose Red Caladium for Green/Red?

Idk it feels very Them-Core

I honestly like using more elemental-based names for their ships, and I shall now dump the main ones HERE:

(Pagebreak because it got long)

Magma / Lava: Red/Vio - Since the difference between the two names is just if it's on top of or beneath the earth's crust, I'd probably use one or the other depending on who I want to portray as the Head of the relationship (if there IS a head, sometimes it's clear NEITHER of them have their lives together lol)

Steam: Red/Blue - Since water, when it hits its boiling point, turns into steam, I think that when these two are really feeling in-synch, it's obvious that Blue is more energized/less burdened by a LOT, and Red is happy to make Blue happy <3

Updraft: Red/Green - Red is the ultimate hype-man, and since air rises when it's warmer, I think it's really sweet to name their relationship as such since it shows how much Red helps with Green's self-esteem! Uplifting king.

Sunset: Red/Shadow - When the sun dips below the horizon, warm sunlight and shadows begin the mingle. I am certain that once they get over that odd "Uuuuuhhhh sorry I was evil" thing, they'd be very, VERY comfortable around each other. Like Shadow feels safe enough to drop his guard and sleep with Red in the room comfortable (the last time that happened Vio nearly killed him)

Trench: Vio/Blue - Mostly thinking of the Mariana Trench here, this could also triple as a poly ship with Shadow tbh,,,hmmmmmmm

Dust: Vio/Green - When Dirt is kicked up it forms Dust in the Air. Fairly simple, tbh. Green pushes Vio to do more than he's used to, and Vio follows along and has a bit of lighthearted fun along the way, even if he wasn't sure at first.

Cavern: Vio/Shadow - Their relationship started off mostly empty, but if they decide to venture into its vast depths, they'd find a vast array of treasures and life within it <3 they just need to take that step and reconcile.

Fog: Blue/Green - Fog is the result of concentrated moisture in the air, reducing visibility and making the air feel stuffy. I personally subscribe to the idea that Blue is actually kind of clingy, though he would usually never admit it. Definitely a very post-canon dynamic for them, Blue would need to get over his odd jealousy of Green being the "Most Link", THEN he'd be able to feel safe/allowed to reach out/cling.

Deep Sea: Blue/Shadow - You brought it up again, but I want to elaborate on my reasoning further! I think that they'd have a hard time getting close since they both think they'd hurt each other, and the pressure of the others forming bonds with Shadow would definitely make both of them feel obligated to try and talk. The more they interact and learn about each other, the more they realize they BOTH have a few screws loose and end up being a solace to one another. Blue can show his stranger sides, and Shadow can make jokes he feels too uptight to say around the others (who he sees as pristine/clean, and he doesn't want to dirty them, in a way. Blue's more like a work-towel, for lack of better words-often clean, but definitely stained and willing to get messy.). The Deep Sea is full of creepy crawlies, and I think they'd bond over their own darker aspects eventually. (Can you tell I love these two and want to write them more??? So few fics about them on Ao3, and the main ones I could find were either like. Torture-porn. Which is NOT my vibe. Or not updated since 2015. I should write them more I love them)

Stormcloud: Green/Shadow - I think these two would be at-odds a lot of the time, but they'd find their middle-ground. Just because Green understands that Shadow has done good things doesn't mean he can overlook literally everything else. It would take a while, but I think they'd eventually be comfortable enough to open up about their internal conflicts and come to a conclusion that makes them both happy (kissing sloppy-style lol)

Kaleidescope: All of them at ONCE - I love to associate these losers with butterflies, and fun fact! A Kaleidoscope, while yes is a toy full of colorful knickknacks that makes cool patterns when you twist them, is also the proper name for a Group of Butterflies. Their metamorphosis throughout their stories and into their future is so intriguing and they're delicate yet so resilient and AUGH. I LOVE THEM. 99% of what I write is this ship EVENTUALLY, if I make multiple pairs of them kiss then I would definitely make them all kiss each other. It's common sense.

Lmao sorry for the MASSIVE dump X3

Tysm for the ask AND the follow, and have a good day!