#serious angst
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Dead Serious
4/4
Danny had made peace with the fact he did not have a soulmate. He had! After several years of no response to the countless drawings and writing notes on his skin, he had grown resigned to the fact that he was part of the 5% who did not have soulmates. He was fine with that.
(Dash would tease him about how no one would ever love him, adding salt to an already irritated wound. His parents were soulmates, and he remembered when he was drawing on his father’s arms and watching as it appeared on his mother’s. Jazz had been drawing and writing to her soulmate for years. Her soulmates name was Jason, and she always talked about how he was with her. She was one of the few people who comforted him when he stopped drawing or writing to soulmate. )
Damien taught at an early age that there was no use for soulmates. They were only distractions. He knew grandfather had no soulmate, and his mother had never responded to her own. He never responded to the drawings on his arms notes the notes in English on his (and he didn’t try harder just because he wanted to read his soulmate writing that would be ridiculous.)
Damien never told his family about having a soulmate. Even as he slowly got used to the differences between them and slowly learned how his grandfather was he could never bring himself to respond to the slowly lessening drawings and messages.(He couldn’t bring himself to respond because deep down he knew he didn’t deserve a soulmate. He was a monster, a demon. He didn’t deserve it.)
Danny stopped trying so desperately to contact his soulmate at age 11(the age he held his sister as she cried, her soulmate’s last message scribbled in desperate frantic writing on her arm. He never resented his parents so much when they didn’t even leave the lab for two days, not paying any mind to their sobbing child on the floor above them.)(it was the first time he didn’t envy having a soulmate.)
He was fourteen when he started drawing on his arms again.(it was shaky, much more than the older drawings, but even if he didn’t have a soulmate, he wanted to leave them a mark, just in case, the same way Jazz wrote quotes from different books on her arms.)
(When he found out Vlad didn’t have a soulmate, he refused to acknowledge another similarity they shared. He refused to think about how Vlad’s desperation made Danny think of his own desperate writing for his soulmate. Soulmates were a topic he never spoke of, and Vlad must have known, must have found out about how Danny didn’t have one, but he never commented on it. (It was the only boundary that was never crossed.))
(Damian wasn’t disappointed when his soulmate stopped writing to him. he didn’t trace over his arms, wishing that he had the confidence to write back. He didn’t spend hours wondering if his soulmate was gone without knowing Damian had seen him. He didn’t trace over the drawings his soulmate made with awe after four years of silence.)
Damian always covered up, so he was the only one who noticed when his soulmate started writing to him again. Never sentences never notes like they were before, but shaky drawings appeared on his skin. They were less detailed than before, almost shaky, as if the person drawing them couldn’t hold a pencil, steady, but they were real. Damian never said a word.
It was October 15 when Damien saw something on his arms that made his blood go cold. A message that he read over and over while commandeering the plane and ignoring the rest of his family yelling for him to explain himself. He desperately calibrated the jet while staring at the words, praying to a God he did not believe in that he would not be too late.(Unaware that Todd was following going in the same direction with the similar message written on his arm from a girl that Jason had deemed too good for him.)
Dear soulmate, even if you aren’t there. Everyone in Casper high is writing on their arms and I might as well try to warn someone. I am from Amity Park, Illinois, and we are under attack. The GIW have cut all outside communication. We are currently hiding in Casper high school, barricading the entrances, but it will not last long.
According to the government, we are not legally sentient or human. The agents outside want to dissect us, citing that we are scum. I don’t want to see my classmates die at the hands of my parents. I don’t want to see my friends and my sister die.
I don’t know if you are there, or if I really don’t have a soulmate, but I don’t want to die (fully) without leaving some sort of note.
My name is Danny. I love you. I’m sorry.
#angst#long post#dcxdp#dc x dp#soulmate#soulmate aus#dead serious#this is so much longer than I thought it would be#bad GIW#bad parents fentons#i’m sorry this prompt is so angsty#both boys are extremely traumatized#Danny and Damian have self esteem issues#background anger management ship
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@steddieangstyaugust day 16: Halloween
Steve is a little drunk. Scratch that, he's a lot drunk. And those indoor sunglasses aren't helping whatsoever. So yeah, maybe Steve accidentally made out with Eddie freaking Munson thinking it was Nancy, but it wasn't his fault. The fact that it took him a good five minutes to even notice...well, let's save that crisis for another time.
#steddie#steve x eddie#eddie x steve#steve harrington#eddie munson#st season 2#steddie art#steddie angst#my art#im sorry ive run out of serious ideas#its all crack now#steddieangstyaugust#ster draws steddie#ster writes steddie
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— i’m in love with a dying man
rating: mature. or explicit? i’m not sure. angsty study on grief in unconventional forms. (mild) smut purely for poetic reasons
word count: 4,1k
pairing: viktor x gn!reader
cw: terminal illness. several mentions of death. everyone is horny in a heartbroken way, so grab a napkin—but not for the reasons you think. and yes, you may dox me for making you even sadder after whatever happened in ep 6.
—
He licks a tear off your cheek, and it seeps in between the bumps on his tongue, all prickly salt running down your face in two glossy trails of sorrow. Stinging, when his calloused thumb swipes over a puffy eyelid, only to inevitably fall to your lip and tug, nudging your mouth agape. His desperate grip softens when you oblige and arch, letting him grunt over the slope of your throat; wheezier than you remember, raw, rhotic and ravenous. The hard shift of his lungs is palpable under your hand, ruckling heavily in his sternum. It almost breaks down to a cough when he cants his hips into you, slanting one last slow, weak slam. Spilling all his pent-up frustration deep inside you through that bitter orgasm, leaving a clumsy mess of stickiness to dry on your inner thigh. Stilling for you to hold him through that collapse, grateful for the shaky hand that you firmly fist into his hair. Not receding until at least a few kisses are strewn upon your shoulder.
It’s always like this now. Viktor clings to you, and you cling to him, nails digging into handfuls of him hard enough to draw blood, each embrace so tight your ribs might just break if he doesn’t retreat in time. And god does he wish to let it linger, to drag it out until eternity tumbles in—even if his eternity is reduced to a question of mere months at best, even if he must crawl out of a casket to have your touch back.
The night you almost lost him still has you in shambles. You remember it all too well—hell, it’s almost like that acute smell of hospitals and doom still coats his skin, more slimline than it ever was, its once ivory shade fading to chalk-like disaster. The utter horror of crushing verdicts, endless heaps of bloodied handkerchiefs and palms so cold that even the heat of your breath fails to make the feeling of him any less chilling.
The dark humor of sneaky death: she’s right around the corner, the cruelest of all mistresses. Ready to snatch him away whenever your fingers ghost over his spine, stroking a languid count over each prominent vertebrae. And no matter how tight you curl up beside him, she will supplant you, and her proximity can’t be measured in miles, feet, or inches. Because death is a termite—she gnaws at his very heart. And blooms metastases everywhere you still have him. She’s inside him. She’s merged with him into one.
At first, you denied it. Knuckles drummed against the wall in a frustrated fistfight, painting that scabrous canvas bright with your frustration. White and crimson—the speckled pattern of your hysteria. You recall how bad it stung, and how shame creeped up your spine—frightening and so, so sticky. Throttling, when he tended to that self-inflicted disaster, bandaging your smashed hand in motions sick to the core with gentleness.
And it felt so ugly. Like you’ve grown to loathe everything around you: the doctors, for their disgusting prognosis; life itself, for being hardly fair. And even Viktor. Especially him—for slowly slipping out of your pale-knuckled grip. Well, red-knuckled, more like. That angry stunt did cost you a decent injury. White and crimson, remember?
Naturally, grief doesn’t always progress by the book. However, denial always comes first. It’s an axiom, an invariable component, and you’re sitting on Viktor’s hospital cot, hand in trembling hand, eyes snapped wide and ferocious. Wrapped up in fear while the silence rings in your ears.
His doctor addresses the quandary. It doesn’t feel vicious—at least, not yet. Flimsy, more like. Deceptive, too. Like if you just blink it away hard enough everything will snap right in place, and you’ll find yourself at home again—where that aseptic smell of medication can’t reach either of you.
Well, of course, there’s always a possibility of postponing the inevitable. Winning over a year or, even, two—if Viktor’s lucky enough, that is. But you both know that he’s lacking in that department.
And yet, you grab your little hope by the throat: to look into later, when your comprehension is intact again. Surely, it’s just not plausible: so what if Viktor’s cough pulls you out of sleep every night, so what if every shirt he owns has tiny blood stains on it? Yes, he spends more time in bed than he does at the lab. He’s simply tired. He needs the rest. Not in peace.
The retraction doesn’t linger, though. It survives a few more blood tests and a lengthy, dreadful discussion of his calamity—most strikingly frightening when the doctor talks him through each option. And not a single one manages to appease you. To stop your fury from retching out and causing an ugly scene.
So you fling the door to his room ajar and leap inside with a bitter scowl, teeth gritting hard enough to crumble into powder. Arms a tight crisscross over your chest, step wide and listless—punctuated with a muffled clack of heels. Viktor’s eyes follow your tremulous circles—a lazy, sheenless flick of pupils, each widened into a bleak void from the rancid dose of painkillers. He lays supine, with his hair ineptly slicked back, umber waves awry, loose and sweat-damp. He’s almost mellow, tongue barely a glide over his chapped bottom lip—a martyr-like stiffness, the carrion of a man.
But you don’t look at him. You pace, and pace, and pace—in that same tiring route, all around his creaky cot. Viktor rasps something indistinct—a muffled plea that tickles the back of his throat, rupturing yet another coughing fit. You silently hand him the speckled handkerchief.
He looks up, eyes the saddest shade of buckwheat honey—dark with remorse; seeking comfort. But you don’t have any to give. You stare past him, gnawing at your tongue hard enough to draw fleshy copper. Dodging the kiss he tries to press to your wrist—pulling yourself back and out of his loving grip, igniting a staring competition full of glassy eye-daggering. Blink slow and borderline drowsy.
“Milackú,” he pleads. Pulls at the corner of his mouth to wipe the bloody evidence of his withering.
Your tear catches in your bottom lashes.
“Milackú,” he rasps again, kicking the blanket aside. Stepping one bare foot on the cool tiles and reaching for you: arms, legs, and heart—all yours for the taking. If only you consider crawling under his minty sheets again.
You don’t.
“Why?” It’s so meek you barely recognize it as your own. Taut throat tightens even more, and, suddenly, you’re choking on a gasp. “Why did you turn down the treatment?”
“Please, if you could just—“ He husks, but you can’t hear him through the ringing in your ears; the room already smudged into wattery, astigmatic lumps, Viktor’s face but a bunch of fuzzy dots you’re struggling to make out. All missing jigsaws, blurry little fractions.
“What did I ever do to you?” You yell, shielding your eyes. Turning away from the arm he extends, his weak fist clenching to grab thin air, then tumbling as he stares at his palm in sheer dubiety, upper lip trembling.
He winces. Ceases you by the hand and tugs as hard as it gets—frail enough for you to easily nudge him away—but you don’t bother this time. Your knees ungainly bend into shaky arcs, drifting apart when he clasps around you and pulls until you finally land on the sheets next to him, your tears mingling with his cold sweat—a salty fusion of mutual suffering.
Then comes a sequence of guttural, squealing whines and you stay twined with him for a while. Lithe fingers run through your hair, spreading to untangle an occasional knotted strand—up, and down, and over your shoulder in a caress. His lips purse on your temple, sucking an indistinct kiss. His heartbeat trails off under your fingertips the second you rake them over his thin hospital gown, growing frenetic again when you tug at the fabric, demanding closure.
“Please. Please don’t do this to me.” You exhale your choked up entreaty into his neck and it pours over his skin in a rigid breath, aftertasting of stinging desperation. His hand seeks your face, taking a forcefully gentle hold of one puffy cheek, drinking in your unsightly, woebegone rebuke. Looking at you like a repentant devotee, his timid eyes meeting your fierce ones.
“This is not about you,” he wheezes, too stern for your liking. Presses his forehead against yours and holds you through yet another shudder—and there’s no avoiding his pleading stare. “I’m not trying to get away from you. I merely want to escape my conundrum.”
“These aren’t mutually exclusive, Viktor,” you hiss, voice simmering with betrayal.
“Unfortunately.”
“Unfortunately?! Is that all you have for me right now?”
“I’m afraid so.”
He sighs like he means it. His words keep slipping away from him, drowned in coughs and ambiguous humms. You get it, though. Your semantics became sparse the minute Viktor almost died in your arms.
You melt into one-another in a teary, sniffling twine—simply breathing, trading tense silences. His stately stance collapses into a lifeless hunch, straightening a bit only when your fingers billow over his shoulder-blades—chiseled like ones of a famished dog. There are plenty of dog-like things about him now—the pleas lodged in his glances, the newfound hunger for your touch. Especially for the way you’re holding him; every embrace like a loving headlock—and the pressure soothes him.
“I’m tired of taking risks,” he finally whispers against your temple. “All these… labored efforts for mere fractions of peace. Decaying steadily. Constantly hurting. I’m spent.”
“Exactly. Which is why you need the treatment.”
His lashes shudder against your cheek in a prickly tickle. They keep fluttering when he recedes, shaking his head with a bitter frown.
“But its success is… highly improbable.”
“Yes, but there’s still hope—“
“It’s running thin as we speak. I shouldn’t squander it on… the imminent.”
Viktor’s irksome choice of words had you springing backwards in glossy-eyed delirium. Staring in disbelief as if he’d requested something inexorable: which he did, inherently so.
He curses when tears slice your face again—tends to them with the softness of a man most contrite of his omission, shaky hands already catching holds of your waist, using your temporary pliancy to swiftly nudge you into his cot. Curling up close enough to have your weeps reverberate in his sternum.
“I’m sorry,” he repents with a deep rasp. “Please, don’t cry.”
He held you in reticence again: this time horizontally. Offered you every solace his body could provide: your fingers in his hair, fumbling mindlessly (he put them there himself). Tangled legs. Apologetic neck-kisses. His head heavy on your shoulder, its weight a welcome tranquility. And only when your last tear soaks his pillow does he commence with his explanation.
“I don’t want to spend what little time I have left miserable,” he tells you, drawing a breath. “Yes, the treatment might win me a year—a year I would spend bedridden, nauseous, and weary. A travesty of life. An illusive salvation. I’ve had enough of those.”
Your hand stills in his hair, nestled within unkempt strands. You’ve run out of tears, so this bitter truth is met with nothing but a piteous sigh—the only thing you can still master after crying your heart out into his skin. Now you can only stare at the ceiling, chewing on your cheek in cruel denial.
He’s right. He always is.
Viktor sees the shift in your face—knits his eyebrows together in tender pity, tucking himself firmly against your face. Wincing, when he feels the aching tension in your temple.
“I know I’m asking a lot of you. Too much, even.” He’s sincere when he says that, and you can sense the gratitude in his voice—for even allowing him to utter this excruciating of a thing, for attempting to understand.
You simply nod. Yes. It is a lot. But you want to hear everything he has to say.
So Viktor continues.
“I would hate for your last memories of me to be tainted with despair and hospitals only for all the struggle to go to waste when I inevitably pass away. I have no desire to postpone this torture at the expense of growing indifferent towards everything that makes me feel alive.”
“But what if we manage to cure you?!”
“That’s too much of a ‘what if’ to risk dying a grim death for. I want to die…content. I want to enjoy myself before I do. Please. Don’t take that choice away from me.”
His eyes brim at you with every ounce of guilt he possesses, big tears wallowing in his eyes like an earnest plea—tacit, weary, earnest. Yes, it’s not like you have a word in his terrific decision, but Viktor wants your blessing. It’s only right that he includes you. Even if he’s intending to refuse the treatment regardless. As absurd a bid as that is.
You clasp his face like it’s about to vanish. Like you won’t be able to make it out when he’s gone if you fail to remember it right this instant, your gaze frantically jumping from one feature to another, seeking to embroider the image into your very eyeballs. Roaming over the artifically-white hospital light hallowing every streak of his hair. Indulging in a bittersweet smile when you note how prettily it spills over the pillow. Lingering on the patterns in his ochre irises—almost fully swallowed by his void-like pupils. Observing how they match the insomniac, mauve shades under his bottom lashes. Tracing every convex little thing—two lovely moles, thick eyebrows, the pointy mouth. Everything you’ve grown to love so dearly. Everything his illness keeps taking away from you.
You wince, cradling his cheeks, your thumbs dipping into the hollows of them gently. Urging him to scoot closer—eye to eye, lips on lips. Breath over shuddering breath.
“Are you sure?” You mouth the question on his skin, barely even uttering it. Hot pressure meanders into your head like a prickly impulse. It’s timid like motion sickness—borderline nauseating, too—all murky splashes of trippy lights under your closed eyelids. And the unease is diluted only when he finally kisses you—an approbatory, guilt-ridden thing.
He’s certain. And for that, he’s so, so sorry.
You try not to think of it, focusing on the feeling. No tongue, no teeth: just sheer tremor and so much rawness. A soft, soothing exhalation straight into your mouth like the gentlest of placebos—and yet, it works for you, slaps your pulse out of its frantic antics, and the stiffness slowly leaves your limbs under his touch.
When it’s over, he winces at you in that sleepy, adoring way of his. Attempts a wry, sad smile. The cold light besieges his head into an even clearer halo—a foreshadowing of what is to come, an inconspicuous little thing. But everything about him is conspicuous to you. Loving Viktor has made you wary, and you wanted to hold onto that attention to the detail before it eventually slips away alongside him.
“Are you sure?” You repeat, tightening the inadvertent chokehold around his neck. The grip weakens only when he pulls away to clumsily clear his throat.
“Yes.” And you know he means it when his face turns just as solemn as when he confesses his love to you.
“I’ve had a nice life with you,” he adds, hoarsely. “I want it to feel nice when my time comes, too—whenever that might be. Sooner than later, I presume.”
The figurative knife in your stomach twists anticlockwise.
“Will you stay with me?” He dares to inquire. Meek, shaky hope tingling in his throat. “For however many months I have left?”
And when you look up at him with a hurt frown, he’s reminded not to ask you rhetorical questions.
—
A few days later, Viktor is discharged from the hospital and insists that you both go back to normal. Well, to the new, tainted definition of it—where one spoiled napkin less is considered an ephemeral improvement and grief is a fixed variable by your side.
Your slow-paced, quiet life that keeps turning even more timid in a frail attempt to savor what’s left of it. Faux preservation, but he allows it—savors it just as earnestly as you do, and your weeks weave into a darling, familiar routine. With some minor, necessary changes, no less: rest comes before the lab now, all deadlines fashionably late to accommodate this newfound tempo. Mandatory hourly breaks. Weekly check-ups. Four days off for every three he spends bent over the parchment. But this time, he doesn’t protest. His body demands it, inconveniently so.
You don’t tell anyone about your horrific arrangement—not yet, at the very least. It’s all you can think about, and the words threaten to slide out every time you speak—but you’re forced to swallow them with a smile so lopsided that everyone around you can only suspect the worst. A mantra of countless ‘What’s wrong’s irritating your ears with pure sincerity.
What is wrong with you, indeed? You’re a spectator to death—not just any death, but the one you dreaded most. And not only are you witnessing it in the making, but this decision was never forced—you handed Viktor the choice and accepted whatever he went with so obediently that it felt absurd, and it had your skin crawling every time someone vaguely mentioned anything even remotely related to his condition.
But they—whoever that refers to—could never get it. They wouldn’t know what it’s like: to be stripped of your selfishness for the sake of Viktor’s peace. Defying your needs. Forcing yourself to find relief in demise. You might’ve failed to intimidate her into allowing you to keep him, but you could still accompany him into her arms and make it glorious. Here it is. Your new, appalling reason. It’s all that you want now.
Or is it?
There’s plenty of nobility in being his chaperone—welcoming him into bed every night, painfully aware that it can become his death one. Treating every new invention of his like a soon-to-be postmortem legacy. Mourning the living. Anticipating the inexplicable. Marking every shared kiss the last, just in case.
But then it came—unabashed and sudden. That blurry line where mourning merges into something dubious, a confusing paradox that leaves you full of filthy carry-over somewhere within your gut. The scorch his lips engrave into the column of your neck. The way it ignites a swell you can almost convince yourself is actually tangible, running your fingers over it recursively like a tactile little prayer. The gaze he throws at you across the lab ever so sneakily—a figurative punch that feels surprisingly close to a kiss. And you never resist turning it into one. Escalating. Claiming. Indulging those ambiguous, yet-to-be-defined things and having them wash over the remnants of your decorum.
You try to fight it when it first happens, but it doesn’t last. There’s no place for restraint in grief—not when it turns into a beautiful desire to be all over him, to take everything life has to offer before he runs out of it. And Viktor doesn’t judge you. He encourages it. He craves it, just as bad—if not more—than you do. How many more undoings can he claim before the final one absorbs him? You’ve already lost that count. So much for having your love bleed on every inch of his skin.
Tonight you let it bleed mouth to mouth—a sweaty, heartfelt thing that commemorates your hunger for him in a kiss so dizzying that he has to lean back with a silent, breathless plea for brief interlude—foggy eyes staring up at you so devotedly. Shuddering, when your arms wander over his chest to feel the rasp, pointed lips bruised full of spit-slick swell. He’s a beauty—exquisite, albeit worn-down, his lines and angles blurring together into one eager, contourless essence, and you cage him in a firm straddle—your bare thighs over his clothed ones—grinding in a whiny attempt to reach him through his pants.
“I’m sorry,” you mumble, leaning back to let him breathe. He’s sprawled out beneath you, tortuous hands already busy with tugging his tie off—impatient, clumsily nervous. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me,” you say at last, averting your gaze almost shyly. His fingers lurch to your hip, locking it in a gentle cradle, stilling above your backside in hesitation—asking for a laze caress, pushing your flimsy limits. As if forgetting that you never set those for him. Or, perhaps, he simply likes hearing your excited ‘yes’ every time. You can’t quite figure out which it is.
He grabs a handful of you with reverence, and yet there’s something resilient about that grip—like he dreads that you might slip through his fingers if he doesn’t hold on possessively enough, staring up at you with his head thrown back in a curious, admiring droop. Aiming to dispose of your shirt in a nimble pull. Plotting a sequence of kisses from neck to collarbone.
You expect it when he rises on his elbows, then grips the bedframe to shift beneath you in a silly leap. Inelegant, but he couldn’t care less, releasing his hips from the hedge of your legs to make you slide up his crotch instead—a most welcome, brusque change that you adapt to in a squealing instant. Your moaning mouth agape under his grin. His hips thrusting through restraining fabric. Shaky. Erotic. With your arms tumbling astride his shoulders.
“Don’t apologize,” Viktor insists in a lulling whisper, switching to a cautionary nip on your ear. “I’ve missed you, too,” he confesses somewhere into your hair, brushing through it with a tip of his nose—breathing you in through a tender whiff.
Your words get lost in a deep fluster, rolling back into your throat and lingering there in a suffocating lump. They have you stiffening, heavy eyelids squeezing shut—a voluntarily blindfold to help you explore him through touch only. An invitation to feel you where he pleases. And, well—it just so happens that your whims align with his—a cohesive, welcome collateral.
Viktor starts at the slope of your shoulder. Pulls the shirt down and traces that lovely curve—fingers first. Throws a brief, askance glance at your face to make sure that your eyes are closed, and, when met with the flutter of your lashes, gets back to his lovely tease. Tender, warm lips taste your skin with delicious, savoring sounds. Getting wetter when his tongue makes a fickle appearance—leaves a slick, capricious lick in the dip of your collarbone, fluffy hair tickling your face when he bends to tend to your chest, too—and you shiver as he sucks a plum love-stain that you’ll proudly wear under your shirts.
“See,” he cooes. “Whatever gets into you must be contagious.”
You give in to a half-lidded peek and find him begging for your assistance—a sweet request that you understand in half-nod. Arms up in the air and over your clouded head when he unleashes your skin from the thin garment—throws it on the floor for you to find later in the morning.
“But it feels wrong.” You sigh. “Ever since we found out…”
“I’d rather you quit talking about that in bed, please,” Viktor reproaches, eyes heady with want. His fingers slide into your underwear, contemplating its fate—should he make it join your shirt or pull it to the side in hasty fashion? Either approach had him shivering at the thought.
But the sudden sorrow stops the rush, rendering your urge for consolation. It wraps you around him all over again, legs locking in a tangle around his waist, drooping hands combing through his hair in a brusque, fervent tug. Seeking succor. Heart to heart and thumping an anxious march.
“I’m afraid,” you admit, but it’s not a revelation. All shuddering shoulders under his idolatrous caress, and you pang with guilt at that, too—it’s you who should be fondling him this delicately, warm reassurance seeping into his ears—not yours. But Viktor wants to be your comfort. If anything, it’s the only thing on his mind.
“What are you afraid of, beloved?” A little shiver at the unforeign endearment—a rare occasion. His thick brows still drawn together in a concerned arc. They relax only when you rake your fingers down his body—counting ribs, toying anxiously. The hurry is gone, there’s only caution now: his enamored eyes, waiting for you to find your slippery words.
“Of losing you before I get to show you how much I love you.” You whisper, suddenly tasting teary salt in your mouth. His thumb comes to the rescue, swiftly flicking the wet trails. So you chuckle at the affection in a silly stagger to bump sweaty foreheads together.
“Nonsense,” he insists. “You’re showing me right now.”
“Indeed.” You shrug. “But… Is this the right way?”
And when he puts your palm over his eager heartbeat, you’re reminded not to ask him rhetorical questions.
—
tags: @zaunitearchives @blissfulip @nausicaaandhermouth @thehistoriangirl @vyshnevska
#viktor arcane#viktor fanfic#arcane season 2#viktor x reader#arcane season two spoilers#viktor angst#viktor smut#viktor x reader smut#viktor x gn!reader#viktor x f!reader#viktor x m!reader#viktor x any reader really#not specified AT ALL#wrote this in severe writers block so please be nice to me#im serious ill cry#arcane fanfic#arcane angst#viktor arcane angst
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cringe is dead because rouxls is carrying the weight of it all madoka style
#deltarune#rouxls kaard#swatch#queen#kris#ralsei#art#doodles#comic#i had to scribble something silly or i would lose my mind#''have u ever drawn pirate rouxls'' there u go now i have ur welcome#was going to draw him on the duck but it did not fit in frame#i can fit a lot of serious headcanons and angst into a character that has LITERALLY done nothing but make a complete ASS of himself-#-every time he's on screen. idk how he can possibly get worse but i can't wait to find out#i wanna throw him into walls like a sticky hand repeatedly#anyway did u guys know its hedy lamarr's birthday today??? happy birthday girlboss xoxo#EDIT HAHA SORRY THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO POST AT 11AM BUT I SCHEDULED IT FOR 11PM#WHOOPS
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.☽༊˚ prompts for helping bathe an injured loved one
¹⁾ sitting on the edge of the bathtub and letting them lay their head against your thigh as the fatigue starts taking hold
²⁾ “i know, i know it hurts but hold on for just a little longer and we’re done, yeah? think you can do that for me, pet?”
³⁾ helping them lean up so you can wash their back, and pretending not to notice them shaking in your arms
⁴⁾ “you needn’t be so gentle, y’know. if today wasn’t enough to break me, i doubt an ill-applied handful of shampoo will.”
⁵⁾ using your soapstuffs because the familiar scent will, hopefully, help calm them
⁶⁾ “i can’t believe it took a night like that for you to let me help you with something.”
⁷⁾ having never seen them in a state of undress before and so, trying admirably hard to avoid looking directly at them in such a vulnerable state
⁸⁾ “so mr/mrs surly and serious likes having their hair washed for them, hm? don’t worry, i’ll keep your secret.”
⁹⁾ climbing into the bath/shower with them, more for the physical comfort than practicality
¹⁰⁾ “i wish the first time you saw me like this could’ve been under better circumstances.”
¹¹⁾ stripping down to the same level of undress as them in an effort to try and make them feel more comfortable
¹²⁾ “can we- can we just stay here, like this, for a minute? please?”
¹³⁾ using as gentle a touch as possible to clean them off and feeling your heart break each time they still suppress a pained whimper
¹⁴⁾ “it’s just me now. you don’t have to be brave anymore.”
¹⁵⁾ trying to towel them dry but ending up just cradling them to your chest with the towel pressed aimlessly between you
#i will eat this trope morning noon and night with a spork from satan’s refuse tank i’m so serious#theys when the subtrope is forced vulnerability out of a need for comfort after a shared traumatic event that there’s no right response to:#prompts#hurt/comfort prompts#hurt/comfort writing prompts#hurt comfort prompts#hurt/comfort#whump#whump prompts#whump writing prompts#rp meme#hurt/comfort rp meme#otp prompts#angst prompts#injury tw#tw injury
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All respect to the people who found the Imperator death scene genuinely sad but personally I think seeing Copia throw himself over her coffin like a discarded muppet and make some of the most dramatically fake crying noises I’ve ever heard in my life was arguably the funniest moment of the film
#yapping#the band ghost#don’t get me wrong I love some good Copia mommy issue angst but the tone there was NOT very serious I don’t think
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RADIOAPPLE COTL AU!
"What do you do when a mere scapegoat becomes so enamored with the God Of Death that they actually look forward to dying again and again just to see Him?"
"What do you do when said God Of Death yearns for the sacrificial lamb's PERMANENT DEATH and this very thought is actually the reason He smiles at them?"
"But it's only because He wants to own them FOREVER the only way He knows how??? ...For His Vessel's soul to be HIS to keep."
Basically, this is my COTL Radioapple AU idea! (NOTE: Read it all over again! This time, just the yellow highlighted words for a different experience and perspective on things! 😉 Trust me on this.) -Bubbly💙
#spacebubblearts#hazbin hotel#cotl#radioapple#appleradio#angst#sort of#misunderstandings#y'all were too happy too long#it's about time for drama me thinks#COTL AU#cult of the lamb#narilamb#implied#lucifer morningstar#alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#radio demon#god of death#king of hell#cult leader#“Alastor: How can you NOT know I was courting you? I made my intentions VERY clear!”#“Lucifer: You literally told me to kms and tried to take my soul on multiple occasions. 😑”#“Alastor: To keep you forever of course! I'm the God Of Death???”#“Lucifer: Wait no y is dis ded as rizz working tho- 😳”#NEVER think I wish to romanticize 'sewing-side' EVER#but when the God Of actual DEATH is involved it's kinda hard not to be so casual about the topic of the afterlife.#this has gotten more serious than I intended#lucifer x alastor#alastor x lucifer
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idea by @thief-of-eggs idk if thats what u imagined but ahaha first thing that came to my mind tho (while i was in the middle of drawing this one of my friends said "tim cloning kon" and i died a little bit)
#is the quality rlly bad and blurry or did i just lose my eyesight#i do not feel ok btw#drawing tims hair longer because my hair is getting longer too and dc made him my self insert character#bernard looks like a justin bieber fanart im sooo sorry#tim drake#kon el#bernard dowd#robin#red robin#superboy#timkon#timber#i genuinley forgot what their ship name was what#guys i think im gonna throw up slash serious#angst#i feel angst in my stomach too#do not stay up late to draw :(#dc#dc comics#art#my art#cant wait for someone to put all of these tags in their reblog and its just me going “eughh im gonna die”#eughh im gonna die#THE TEXT BEING SLIGHTLY TRANSPARENT ON THE FIRST IMAGE UGHHHHHH WHATTTTTTT#not fixing that sorry gotta go zzzz
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Muzan got that high school girl attitude. Like what is wrong with him
#“i'm about to gag” kagaya better than me because i would be throwing hands#i literally can't stop laughing#it never was that serious tbh he doing too much#i know amane was FUMING inside#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#kny spoilers#kny#muzan kibutsuji#ubuyashiki kagaya#amane ubuyashiki#muzan × reader#demon slayer × reader#kny smut#kny memes#kny season 4#gyomei himejima#kny angst#upper moons × reader#infinity castle#he would LOVE regina george
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okay obviously i love all the dbd fics that are like "edwin and charles's worst fear is the other one leaving/being taken away" and everything but where are the fics where edwin's worst fear is charles leaving him but charles's worst fear is hurting edwin and edwin staying anyway
#*banging pots and pans* CHARLES'S WORST FEAR IS THAT HE'LL TREAT EDWIN HOW HIS FATHER TREATED HIS MOTHER AND EDWIN WILL LET HIM#anyway i know im late to the party on dbd but the hyperfixation is hitting HARD and this concept has me frothing at the mouth#anyway they love each other and i just think there are some serious angst avenues going unexplored#charles rowland#edwin payne#dbda#dead boy detectives#payneland#is that the ship name??#lexi screams into the void
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Dc x Dp prompt
Dead serious prompt 1/4
Damian and Danny are pen pals.
For a school assignment, they had to exchange a minimum of 25 letters with a person from another school. Damian originally thought it was foolish but Pennyworth insisted, and his brothers’ teased him he couldn’t make any friends aside from Jon and Colin (stop the Colin erasure!!!) so now it was a matter of pride.
Danny didn’t like the pen pal plan, but he couldn’t afford to get a bad grade in Lancers class right now. Plus, Jazz was nagging him to make more friends, so kill two birds with one stone.
The two of them made friends fast(Damian was intrigued by talk of inter dimensional beings he could find no other proof of officially aside from some shabbily hidden acts that violated the meta rights act, and he wouldn’t have believed him if it wasn’t for the visit from Fenton’s dog (He wished he could keep him in the manor, but for now he would settle with pampering the dog whenever he visited.) He could admit that Fenton was … intriguing.)
(Danny liked Damian. He was funny, with a sharp sense of sarcasm and a strong love of animals. Cujo adored him. Damien also didn’t ask questions about things he didn’t want to talk about, and he reminded Danny of some ghosts with his talk of violence.)
However, their letters tended to be quite … unorthodox, with Cujo acting acting as a delivery dog. They had avoided sending letters during times when they would be around others, which is why Damian knew it was serious when Cujo came to him at breakfast, carrying a note in his mouth and radiating agitation, three days after their usual letters were exchanged.
Damian ignored the sounds from his family and unfolded the letter. After reading it, he ignored the shouts of his family and climbed onto Cujo’s back. ‘Take me to him.’ He ordered, and Cujo sped off, jumping as a portal opened and they entered. His siblings rushed after him but the portal closed before they could follow.
The letter was lying on the ground with shaky splotchy letters.
GIW went too far. Just got out. Help.
#long post#dc x dp#dcxdp#dp x dc prompt#angst#dead serious#misunderstanding#ghost investigation ward
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Scene
Tommy calling Buck, wanting to apologise for how everything went down. And to tell him that he wants to see him again because he knows he fucked up and Buck deserves the whole truth and not the mean-spirited things that came out of Tommy's mouth in the heat of the moment. It goes to voicemail.
He looks at his phone, sorrowfully.
Camera zooms in on the phone then zooms out.
Phone is now on the floor in the middle of debris showing "1 missed call from Tommy 💔". Slowly pans over to show Buck's hand laying beside it, just out of reach.
Pans out, Buck's jeep in the middle of the freeway totaled. Only Buck's arm can be seen from underneath it.
End Scene
[part 2]
#im working through my feelings with angst#bucktommy headcanons#i guess this is more ficlet than headcanon lmao#bucktommy ficlet#bucktommy#tevan#evan buckley#tommy kinard#otp trying to keep up#tv: 911#911 abc#911#my headcanons#my ficlets#saf.txt#saf rambles#911 spoilers#911 speculation#911 spec#this isnt serious spec but like it could be lolololol#i want angsty fix its so much#this is getting another part soonish 😌#saf writes
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#comic#dnd character#dnd art#slowly filling out a sketch page of recent session stuff#i don't remember the exact dialogue but this eliminated whatever resolve dande had left to keep talking about serious things#saying that aloud while thinking “and i am from there so naturally i must be wrong and bad”#and that angst thought immediately getting snuffed out#wowie....................#boy..........................................#considering jalester saw him rip out one of his teeth just a few hours ago to finish a magic ritual to summon his evil book back#this is a win#sketch#will clean this up later along with a bunch of other doodles... hopefully... yeah.....................#dandelion treehollow#jalester silvermane#lionmane#ravelers
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silly au where hunter can also see the other golden guards but all they do is annoy him
#theyd be ghosts in this BUT in canon im not sure whether or not belos was hallucinating them so.#toh#the owl house#hunter toh#hunter#golden guard#golden guards#grimwalkers#avepharts#no serious art at the moment sorry my brain's just giving me sillies#anyway it's giving kind of fucked up sitcom#i know there's like. a lot of angsty things with this kind of premise. and i support that. but a black comedy would also be really funny#angst and humour babey#toh spoilers#the owl house spoilers
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man forced to sit away from his wife after he goes blind
#fmab#fma brotherhood#fullmetal alchemist#fullmetal alchimist brotherhood#fma#roy mustang#roy fma#roy fmab#mustang fma#mustang fmab#colonel mustang#fma manga#fma manga spoilers#fma mustang#look at this poor man#i know i posted something similar like 10 mins ago but#DAMNNNN are you serious???? he GOES BLIND and everyone abandons him#like i get that they also have to.. get medical treatment but nobody stays with him?#like. he has no idea whats going on/has to adjust to everything/his wounds are bandaged/hes completely alone here for fuck knows how long#hes just. nobody he truly knows is around for him atm#and nobody bothers until doctor knox comes around#and roy is left with his thoughts. that his military career is over#that hes never going to become fuhrer because of this#not only did truth take his eyes it also took his dreams#and nobody is around to comfort him and nobody cared#yyeah angst
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au - tim sneaking out of jason's room one night at the manor and accidentally locking eyes with dick who is sneaking out of bruce's room at the exact same time, breakfast is very awkward the next morning
(i did think of having it be jason instead of tim but honestly jason has 0 shame and even less issue outing himself if it means fucking with bruce and, to a lesser extent, dick)
i'm cackling I love these types of things so much. they're so silly. sometimes we deserve mindless crack for these ships. have a *very* low effort ficlet bc this just makes me snort, enjoy <3
Dick closed Bruce's door as quietly as he could. Usually, he didn't have to sneak around when he slept with Bruce. But the temporary room Bruce had given Jason in the manor was just down the hall, and Dick didn't feel like looking Jason in the eye if he walked out of Bruce's bedroom in the morning at the wrong time.
Just because he was pretty sure Jason knew, didn't mean he needed confirmation and confrontation.
Dick had almost caved to staying in bed with Bruce when Bruce tried to pull him back down, but he kept some level of wits about him, prying Bruce's arm off of him and giving him a final kiss on the cheek before heading for the door.
The one thing Dick did allow himself, though, was wearing one of Bruce's shirts instead of his own. It was a size too large on him but smelled safe and comforting. Dick breathed a quiet sigh of relief when the door latched silently. He let go of the handle, turning around to creep off to his own bedroom in another wing.
And found himself staring at another figure.
With all of the lights off and only faint moonlight streaming through the windows, Dick couldn't tell who it was, at first. His reaction was embarrassing no matter who it was, jumping nearly a foot backward and clutching a hand over his chest.
He was a goddamn vigilante. This was just embarrassing.
The other person wasn't nearly as shocked as Dick, but they stood perfectly still, staring with wide eyes that faintly reflected what little light illuminated their face. Dick squinted, leaning forward to see who it was.
"Tim?" Dick hissed, trying to keep his voice to a whisper. Bruce had fallen asleep and if Dick woke him up now, he was never going to get the stubborn bastard back to bed.
Tim, still looking like a deer in headlights, just blinked at Dick.
"What are you doing up this late?" Dick asked. They'd all agreed to take tonight's patrol off, letting Babs, Helena, Dinah, and Zinda handle it in exchange for tackling the massive human trafficking ring in the morning with fresh eyes and cleared heads. The job was the only thing that had gotten Jason to agree to work with them in the first place. Bruce barely managed to strong-arm Jason into sleeping in the manor, with a decent amount of guilting from Alfred.
Jason, who was in the room only a few feet away from Dick. The room that Tim's hand was resting on the doorknob of.
"That's Jason's room," Dick said slowly.
Tim just nodded. "I know." He wasn't whispering like Dick was, but his tone remained impossible to read.
He just saw Dick walk out of Bruce's room. Had he put it together? It was Tim, after all. if he hadn't yet, Dick assumed he only had a couple minutes before it dawned on Tim.
"What were you doing in Jason's room?" Dick frowned. If he focused on Tim, it could keep the focus off of him for as long as possible. Dick tried to ignore how fast his heart was beating.
Tim's expression was hard to make out in the dark. "We were talking about the case." Still, his tone remained entirely neutral.
Too neutral, for Tim.
"At two am?"
"Well, what were you doing?" Tim huffed slightly when he said it, folding his arms over his chest.
He was shirtless, Dick just realized.
Shirtless and coming out of Jason's room.
"I was-" Dick stumbled over his words, choking as he tried to come up with an alibi. "We were talking about the-"
"I already used that excuse, pick your own," Tim deadpanned. Dick was pretty sure he also rolled his eyes. "I've known about you and Bruce for years, you know. You don't have to pretend."
The noise that came out of Dick's throat was almost as mortifying as the realization that not only did Jason likely know, but so did Tim.
"It... okay it has not been years," Dick's face was hot and he was glad it was too dark for Tim to see his blush. "I mean- it's been a while but not years-"
"Whatever you say." Tim shrugged, sounding unconvinced. "There have been feelings between you two for years, close enough for me."
If Dick died, right here, in this hallway in front of Bruce's door, he hoped the cause of death would be put down as homicide instead of natural causes. Because every word from Tim's mouth made another piece of Dick die inside, just a little.
"It's none of your business either way." Dick tried to stand up straight to sound more in control of the situation, clearing his throat.
"Trust me, I don't want it to be my business."
Dick would've laughed, if this was happening to anyone but him.
"What about... you and Jason?" Dick asked carefully.
Tim shifted on his feet. "What about it? I told you, we were talking about the case."
"Right." It was Dick's turn to roll his eyes. "In his bedroom, at two am, without your shirt?"
Tim stared at Dick for a long, torturous moment. A moment that made Dick agree with Tim, about not wanting to know any sordid details.
"I'm going to bed," Tim said suddenly, turning away from Dick. "Goodnight."
Dick had a thousand more questions he wanted to ask. How Tim and Jason even got together, when it happened. Last Dick knew, they could barely stand to be in the same room.
But Tim was walking away at an alarmingly brisk pace and Dick just sighed. He was too tired and mortified about his own secrets to chase Tim down for an impromptu interrogation that would just end up embarrassing them both more.
Maybe it was best for Dick's sanity if he didn't know the specifics.
Dick didn't consider how awkward it would be until he was standing in the kitchen, staring at Jason bent over a cup of coffee.
Did Jason know Dick knew? It didn't seem like he did, but he had always had a good poker face.
When Tim ambled into the kitchen and grabbed overnight oats from the fridge, he didn't even look at Dick. He seemed to be pointedly avoiding it, sitting as far away from Dick as he could at the oversized dining room table.
All while Dick couldn't seem to stop staring.
"Your cereal is going to get soggy," Jason muttered, and it took Dick a moment to realize Jason was talking to him. "At least eat it before trying to explode my head with your mind, or whatever your staring problem is."
"I'm not-" Dick stuttered. he shut himself up with a mouthful of cereal when Cass gave him an odd look.
Would she be able to figure it out just from his body language?
Dick had never fully understood the lengths her ability to read people could go. he looked away from her and stared at a random spot on the table, trying to eat at a normal pace.
Bruce was the last to wander into the kitchen. He squeezed Dick's shoulder as he walked by, making Dick jump. It was an innocent enough touch that no one would question, but all Dick could think about was the brief look from Tim before he quickly averted his eyes again.
The silence around the table was going to eat Dick alive. He started eating cereal faster.
"Oh for fuck's sake," Jason broke the tension, throwing his head back and slamming an empty mug down onto the table. "Everyone knows you two are fucking, alright?" He gestured between Dick and Bruce. "Stop being so goddamn weird about it, you're acting like there's a bomb in the room."
Bruce choked on his coffee. "Jason." He tried to sound reprimanding, but his voice was a few octaves too high.
Dick threw his hands in the air. "I knew you knew about that, but I didn't know about you and Tim until last night so excuse me for feeling a little awkward."
"You didn't know about what?" Bruce nearly yelled, spinning around to face Jason.
"Damnit, Dick!" Tim groaned, putting his head in his hands.
Jason just scoffed, pointing a fork at Bruce. "Oh don't even give me that self-righteous bullshit-"
Their argument went back and forth while Tim just rubbed his temples, muttering to himself and glaring at Dick.
Worst of all, Dick was pretty sure Cass was giggling next to him under her covered mouth.
Dick just sighed and ducked his head, dutifully waiting for the ground to open up and swallow him whole.
So much for his breakfast.
#necrotic writings#brudick#jaytim#batcest#i'm serious this is so low effort i wrote it in tumblr#didn't even make a doc for it in my notion#don't ask me how long it is idk#like 1k probably#and it's not edited#it's just crack man.#a fun lil palette cleanser between all the whump and angst.#i'm supposed to be ASLEEP oh my god#nobody percieve me.#this is mostly too crack for my personal tastes#but the ask was cute and it took me a half an hour to write so like#i don't mind stepping out of my comfort zone to give the ppl what they want.#i checked it's 1.5k.#which for me is *so* low effort#but i hope it brings you joy anyway anon!!!#this sat in my inbox for a couple days bc i had other things going on so#hope you didn't mind the wait i'm sorry ily <3#i prefer dead dove type asks but the fluff and crack will always be fun too!
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