#separating me and my emotions | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bpd4bpd · 1 year ago

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anyone else's lack of emotional permanence contributes a LOT to their imposter syndrome?? i know its a bit paradoxical since thats literally a symptom of bpd AND adhd but my silly self likes to grasp at any straws i can to "proof" im faking

#actually bpd #bpd #actually adhd #actually borderline #like when im alone i mostly feel empty and like theres a curtain of apathy #separating me and my emotions #and i use that as a sort of ''gotcha'' that i dont experience 'extreme' emotions which is one of the main symptoms of bpd #even though. i guess a lack of emotions is also an emotional extreme #and then when im w my fp/friend and try to explain to them what i feel like alone #i literally Forget what i feel like and all of my thoughts and my overthinking spirals EVERYTHING #just GONE #like i know i experienced it bc i remember it but i cant put any concrete thoughts abt it together #so then im like ''oh well. if u cant remember your struggles at all then youre faking''#i feel like this also has a lot to do w me not being able to. recognize myself or my personality or what im like #identity disturbance swag #wow that was a RANT

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lotus-pear · 23 days ago

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i love you royal trio (minus akechi)

#i was listening to the world we knew by frank sinatra while drawing this to inflict maximum emotional damage 😔#royal actually shot me fifty times in the chest and slaughtered my entire family #i’m actually inconsolable over the ending what the fuck do you mean akechi chooses to die of his own volition rather than be manipulated #god it’s just. his character actually makes me violent and insane. they’re going to drag me kicking and screaming to the psych ward #he never had an ounce of control over his life. not even once. he was CONSTANTLY being yanked around like a marionette #until he was disposed of as another pawn in shido’s plan #and then out of some cruel irony he was resurrected even though he did not want to be alive #for once in death he would have found peace—only for that to be taken from him too.#and bc he thinks he’s worthless and his life is so easily gambled away he doesn’t view it as a major dealbreaker when maruki brings it up #“do you really think something as trivial as my life should stand in the way of your decision?” yes you fucking asshole #what do you mean he’s literally fated to die in every timeline? definition of doomed by the narrative #there’s not a single version of his story that doesn’t end with him being slaughtered #GODDDDD he makes me violently ill i hate goro akechi so much he’s so fucking selfish HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT THIS DEAL IS TEARING ME APART #i was so tempted to get the bad ending just so that he was alive ☹️#he looked so happy. he was surrounded by people who loved and treasured him.no shido. control over his life. the ability to choose his futu #TEARS IN MY EYES MARUKI WAS THE ONLY VILLAIN WHO WAS LOWKEY MAKING SENSE 😭😭😭😭😭#my toxic trait is that i think maruki was right all along 😔#ALSO SUMIRE AAUUGGHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#the survivors guilt literally eating her alive until the point where she gaslighted herself into thinking she was her sister. insane.#royal was so good bro i’m so glad i endured 200 hours of hell just to play it #terrible terrible ending with everyone going their separate ways and ren ending up in juvie for months #akechi actually being dead in the good ending is so fucked up 😭😭 i thought there was some way maruki could bring him back regardless #not ren hallucinating him in the last cutscene too 😭😭😭😭 “i still see your shadows in my room” ahh ending #persona 5 royal #persona 5 #ren amamiya #akira kurusu #sumire yoshizawa #goro akechi #lotus draws

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idontmindifuforgetme · 1 year ago

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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

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whiteboardartstudios · 1 month ago

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I SAID I WAS GOING TO DRAW THAT CAR SO HERE WE ARE (I hope you enjoy this is the stupidest thing I've drawn in months /affectionate)

(I put the image descriptions in the Alt text this time because there's so many images. If it doesn't work please tell me and I'll yeet them in the actual post!!)

happy finale of Wild Life everybody! :D

#would you believe me if I told you that I had to come up with designs for everybody on the spot #cuz I've never actually drawn these guys before #the life series versions anyways #also yes gem is coming with joel #they're a family! you can't separate them!#I imagine it's a bit of a situation like gem is dropping joel off at daycare #even though joel's driving #I hope all the text is readable #I had to sacrifice a bit of visual flair for readability and contrast so I hope it worked well #also the idea of Grian's body being essentially a empty-eyed meat suit/puppet thing #while the actual Grian emotes with the giant floating eye thing is really funny to me #partially taken inspiration from mambodork's buttercups homeowners association au lol #I also really like this pearl design #I don't know why but her expressions are so fun to me #I tried putting some easter eggs in this despite not knowing a lot of life series lore #for example in cleo's winner's portrait they're being puppeted by another cleo wearing vr glasses! :D #idk I thought it was cool #there's a few more easter eggs/references in here feel free to go look for them #can't reveal all my secrets at once >:3 #anyways yeah this brings me an inordinate amount of joy #...frick I forgot my tags #uhhh #whiteboardartstudios #original post #I guess #my art #?#life series #trafficsmp #traffic smp

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luna-loveboop · 10 months ago

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I want. Four to get appreciation. Because

Four gave a ton of unnoticed help when Twilight was injured

The fight with Wild was difficult, and I know we're all concerned about his negative view of the shadow crystal

But Four did something that no one else really thought of to help- He took care of Twi's stuff

From the beginning he told Twilight to not worry about them

So Four took care of pretty much everything but the others (that Sky and Wars handled)

He took care of Epona

Which is so very important- he took care of Twilight's horse. After her arrival at the stable Four followed up on her

And for Epona, a horse so attached to her human, having some company can help so much for reassurance

He took care of Twilight's stuff

He got Twi's shield- his bags and equipment, and organized it into one place

And he was worried. He obviously found the shadow crystal while handling Twi's stuff, but his negative reactions to it were out of concern.

Also- because of his placement in this scene

I'm fairly convinced Four was ready to start cooking before Wild showed up (since he's beside the counter with food supplies). At the very least he had the basket of fruit out for everyone -but he was literally standing with food behind him- he thought of everything

And he did housekeeping!

Wars payed for the inn, so Four took care of the inn

Realistically these boys were probably not too concerned with tidyness. Four got all of Twi's things on one table, and took care of the room they stayed in

Organizing tables and Twi's things, having food supplies ready, and opening the curtains- overall he was the one tidying up the inn

Four helped in a huge way! He took care of Twi's horse (Epona is so important), his equipment and shield and bag, as well as the other rooms in the inn

Four filled in all the little tasks that others didn't think of. He helped in ways that were needed, but not obvious

There's a lot of problems with the shadow crystal and with Wild, and I don't know what's gonna happen in the future

But don't forget this- don't forget that Four was one who stepped up in an almost unnoticeable way

Don't forget that when everyone was barely holding it together, Four visited Twilight's horse and took care of his things

No matter what develops in the future- this amount of care shown is important ya know?

.

Art and comic from Jojo @linkeduniverse au :)))

#epona is so important #Lu four #linkeduniverse #linked universe #I work with horses and #Epona is INCREDIBLE- she's extremely attuned to humans and emotions. she doesn't scare easily and can keep her cool in a fight #but it's still super stressful to suddenly be in a fairly large and populated town- separated from her person #and for such an empathetic horse? Four going and TALKING to her- gently petting her nose and just being near her #means so so much! that literally matters so much to a horses mental state in a foreign situation- just having company #he checked on Epona and gave her company like !!!!!! it's so considerate and means so much for Epona! Four I love you !!!!!#uhhhh yeah!#with the food- I don't think the innkeeper would have free/complimentary food out- but wars wallet def had it covered #then wild showed up with potions in a cooking frenzy- but four was still shown with food behind him- he thought of everything #I don't know what's gonna happen with the shadow crystal and stuff. but no matter what happens in the future- this matters.#he did a ton of small things no one else thought of it matters he cares so much didjdkdksjfjj #I have a lot of posts I'm making/editing and trying to get to. I'm just a little gal trying my best :/#so many ideas and so little time... I love you guys and this fandom so much :))#(if I said anything off or offensive let me know... I'm always nervous about that but I want to hear from you if I'm wrong)#(also you are so so cool and valuable don't forget that ok? I love you and you are important)#:)

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thinwhitedoc · 6 months ago

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SHERLOCK | Martin Freeman as John Watson

#inspiration for creating gifs was the wonderful @meandhisjohn #twelve years have passed and this episode is still vivid in my memory as if I watched it yesterday #It’s unbelievable how much pain a person can endure and this episode is a testament to that #the moment john a fierce defender stands ready to strike down any who dare speak ill of sherlock is pure brilliance #the moment they run in handcuffs is beautiful #truly two against the world #and it’s so sweet how john takes up all the space on the couch completely comfortable while sherlock sits patiently beside him #when sherlock saying goodbye to john forever is seared into my soul #It’s a moment that never leaves me a reminder of the depth of their connection and the pain of their separation #martin’s performance in that call is a masterclass in conveying raw emotion #the pain in his eyes speaks volumes a symphony of anguish that lingers long after the call ends #It’s a moment that deserves to be immortalized a testament to the power of his artistry #and the last thing I’ll say is #john’s soul is that of a soldier forged in fire and tempered by hardship yet always clinging to hope #martin freeman #benedict cumberbatch #bbc sherlock #sherlock #john watson #sherlock bbc #mf/serial

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fattributes · 2 months ago

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Sometimes, being optimistic can be unhelpful. You don't have to feel grateful or thankful that your suffering isn't worse. It can be truly devastating, and you have the right to mourn missed opportunities, isolation, and pain. It's okay to experience emotions that aren't necessarily happy.

#my apartment burned down in early november and I’m still processing my emotions #I wanted to say something earlier but I haven’t had it in me #I’m processing a lot of grief and I can’t keep pushing my sadness and fears down #my family and roommate are devastated and we’re technically homeless #I’m here because I don’t know what else to do with my time while insurance figures things out #my self-esteem is through the floor and I’m heartbroken from being separated from my cats for so long #I want to feel something other than sadness #but right now it’s just emptiness #text

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kwillow · 5 months ago

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will theo ever be happy

Maybe in another life.

#theo #jack #confusing and alienating everyone who only followed me after i started drawing furries by referencing my old nonfurry character dynamics #but this got me thinking about theo's only happy endings and how they all involve jack...#who i'm not drawing right now. oops. sorry fella #oh theo... see what happens when you're separated from your emotional support tramp #you start committing crimes against nature and people get worried about you #real answer: probably not in amaranthine but who knows WE'RE NO WHERE NEAR FIGURING OUT AN ENDING HAHA #i could ramble for another thousand paragraphs about why he probably won't be happy in amaranthine but to summarize:#1. trying to do crimes against nature for insane reasons #2. only “positive” relationship is an evil parasite who is using and manipulating him #3. only person he talks to about his problems is a dead body #4. no jack to keep him stable... so far. i want to add him to the story but that's a long way off #but if you want to make A version of theo happy you can play our game Wishbone (once it's done...). he's in it because of course he is.#my draws #asks

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major-alenko · 8 days ago

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Trilogy Appreciation Week Day 3: Love

I think it's a good time for us to have a heart-to-heart. What are you drinking? If you're trying to butter me up, it might take a nice steak sandwich, too.

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just-null · 1 year ago

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I WANT TO WISH U A HAPPY NY🎉🎄!! (now in my country they celebrate🥲)I'M GLAD TO MEET UR BLOG. THIS IS THE CUTEST N MOST WONDERFUL BLOG. I very rarely see creativity with our sweet Nori!! But when I saw your blog, I was so happy!! I hope that in the future the blog will develop and thnq, dear froggy, for pleasing our eyes!!😭😭😭💗💗YOU'RE THE SUN & THE CHARM!!(◡‿◡✿)

*sorry for my strange english, I have problems w/ it 😞*

HAPPY END OF YEAR TO ALL OF YOU

Your english is lovely, dw. tysm for finding my cult in this corner and liking what you found! Also for reminding me today is the last day of the year (my time)

aint no fucking way am i gonna allow this cult having more depictions of me than Noritoshi fucking Kamo. So i present to you, my beloved cult members, a bunch of doodles i have of Noritoshi.

there is no particular order

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luna-the-cretar · 2 months ago

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They’re holding hands :)

#idk how I managed to position them so perfectly #but now I don’t think I can ever move them again ever #legends of avantris #once upon a witchlight #ouaw #torbek #morning frost #frostbek #I’ve been cuddling the two of them all day #because I feel like shit and they make me feel better #I mean I have other plushies that are significantly better to cuddle with #both in size and squishability #but also #these are my emotional support gay furries with separation anxiety #and they make me feel better #also unrelated but i recently counted the amount of plushies I have in my room #and I have about 20 in my room that I know about #which honestly might speak volumes about my childhood #since the oldest one here was from when I was about 14/15 #and the rest I got once I started working when I was 17 and older

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ohgreat-moretapes · 5 months ago

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Tim I noticed a lot of indigenous patches on your jacket, are you Native?

Idk what my dad was 'cause I never knew him, but yeah my mom is (or... Was.. I guess..) Muscogee, the tribe native to the part of Alabama I'm in.

If I remember correctly she came to Alabama from Oklahoma (where a lot of Natives were displaced to in the 1800s) to "get back to her roots."

But yknow, I was separated from her in childhood (which tbh is upsettingly common for Native families) and I was raised in a very white very Catholic asylum so I'm not as connected to the culture as I'd like to be.

-Tim

#OOC: Olea speaking #this is kind of a self-indulgent headcanon but HEAR ME OUT it adds a lot to Tim's character specifically #we're talking about a character who was separated from his mom in childhood and locked up in a psych ward #suffers from chronic physical and mental illness made significantly worse by the institution that was supposed to be helping him #forced to regulate his emotions more than other people have to so he isnt misinterpreted as a threat #struggles with addiction #had to work twice as hard as anyone else in his friend group just to be given the same opportunities #a much more common experience inside BIPOC communities #and he clearly has ties to the land (especially the park) nobody else has #you know how in season 2 Alex starts yapping to Jay about how the park is cursed?#maybe he was right #maybe that *thing* has been here for hundreds of years #and nobody was ever able to settle the land so eventually the Department of Conservation turned it into a state park #and Tim isnt some random “patient zero”#but he has ancestral ties to the land and was more receptive/at risk to Operator Sickness (but was also more resistant to it long term)#JUST SAYIN 👀#im half Katu and I desire my comfort character to be a halfie with me we need more non-white rep in mh #ask.txt #marble hornets #mh #tim wright #afterlife au #slenderverse #Native!Tim

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dearmyloveleys · 2 months ago

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love and hatred each fill half the heart.

大梦归离 (Fangs of Fortune) 2024

(3/?)

#dont get me started on how they turned each other's love and gifts into weapons #i will never get over how lilun's gift is a rattle because he is a newborn in the human world #he doesnt understand the complexity of human emotions #zhuyan is the only one to teach him and before he can fully learn and comprehend #they are separated #before they fall out lilun is left with the only human emotion he knows from zhuyan: friendship #and zhuyan's umbrella is evidence of that human emotion #to shelter someone voluntarily expecting nothing in return #is the simplest yet kindest and loving action that is so human #in fact children learn about true kindness by understanding that it means giving without expecting repayment #in the earlier episodes zhuyan said that it takes a demon hundreds or thousands of years of cultivation to understand a single human emotio #if they never found the demon dungeon i believe lilun would have developed and process human emotions better #his heart was in the right place but they weren't #of course after being locked up for millennia any love he has will turn into hatred #he doesnt need to learn hatred #when you understand a person deeply that depth either turns into love or hatred #the actual CP we deserve #not my essay in the tags again #fangs of fortune #大梦归离 #cdrama #fangs of fortune gifset

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idk-bruh-20 · 1 year ago

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Irondad fic ideas #154

CW: this one's pretty gruesome. read at your own risk

Peter is a young child who's been kidnapped. His parents and/or his aunt and uncle were killed and he was taken. Along with a bunch of other little kids, he's been held captive and experimented on.

When the Avengers suddenly bust the kidnapping operation, the kidnappers try at the last second to destroy their research. They gas the small room where the kids are being held.

It's Iron Man who ends up blasting through. What he finds is horrifying. All but one of the children are dead.

The one who's left is just sitting among the bodies, crying, shocked, terrified. Iron Man carries him out of there, then once they're safe from the gas Tony steps out of the suit to comfort the kid while he's given oxygen.

Little 5-year-old Peter Parker imprints on his savior hard.

He just went through an unimaginable amount of trauma, then Iron Man burst through like an avenging angel. This is the first time he's ever felt protected in his memory. Tony holds the crying kid, and the kid can tolerate no one else near him.

This becomes a slight problem when they get back to base. But Tony can't find it in him to let SHIELD take the kid away, let them strip him of this one tiny bit of comfort. He keeps seeing all those other kids when he closes his eyes.

This one needs him right now. And if "right now" eventually becomes "this is my son," well. Who could've predicted that.