#sent there for a diagnosis
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You know what at this point I feel like maybe I just need to either get institutionalised again or start an internship again because I feel like I am getting nothing.
#sorry after going down a rabbit hole i realised that there are a lot of very vague things wrong with most of my characters#and that perhaps i should make. less vague things wrong with them.#like more specific things#and i understand the theory of a lot of conditions but that doesnt mean anything#thats jackshit#and naturally in my life i have met a lot of people with various conditions bu the sample is still fairly limited#ive met people with OCD; with various anxiety disorders; people with various eating disorder; i live with one ed myself; ive met#people with schizophrenia both treated and untreated; ive met people with bipolar; ive met people with schizoaffective;#ive met people in a state of active psychotic episode; ive met people DID and OSDD; ive met people with PTSD;#ive met people with cluster C PDs and people who have BPD like me and ive met exactly one (1) person with NPD (about whom#docs arent fully sure yet)#but thats all. and its like. cool. ok. no idea about cluster A except for me (STPD) and no idea about the lived realities of the rest of#cluster B and no idea about some forms of depression and no idea about a lot of things. so its like. cool. i sure love not knowing.#its like. ok. do i have to get locked up again to meet new kinds of people or?#the thing is that probably wouldnt help i can tell you right here right now thered be like uuuuuh 50 % ED recovery people;#25 % affective disorders; including like one bipolar person probably; 15 % OCD patients and 10 % of undiagnosed people#sent there for a diagnosis#thats actually literally the average population of a psych ward. been there three times happens every time#i mean im exaggerating but you get me
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a little Sandhopper to diagnose?
Name: The Notorious Journeyman
Skill: Steppin' With Da Best Of 'Em
Quote: "It never ends! New places to go and sights so see! Forever! It NEVAH ends!!!! :D"
#bug diagnosis#crustacean#i just got a notification for asks#even though this was sent on the 2nd of august...#also some from 3 months ago im sorry anon i didnt see them#submission
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Well, so my third attempt this year to find out what my chronic pain is ended up in another failure
Last year I completely gave up after too many random diagnosis and no solution. I'm trying again:
- gynecologist asked me if I wanted the pill if I had pain during my period (the pain is constant it just gets more intense during my period and my period is much more heavy as well since last year), the rest of the cancer test were clear
- GP says maybe it's stomach (?? Pain is under my ribs so I guess it could be), she gives me anti acid to try. The anti acid makes me feel so sick I stop at day six.
- I go back for blood tests, all clear. The GP is like okay bye, and I'm like ?? I still have pain?? Like I am missing so many working days. So she gives me ibuprofen (now keep in mind she thought it was my stomach before, and now she's giving me something that is usually not kind on the stomach). She tells me take it for two weeks every time you have pain (which would be every day for me)
And I'm like.. okay... And then she says something like "unfortunately it's impossible to know what it is, maybe it's your depression"
Now, I'm not depressed. I've not been diagnosed with depression. I take ADHD medications. This is the third time she calls them "anti depressants" and she tells me I have depression. I don't??
So I decided to go to a private clinic for an ultrasound, on my own. I don't understand why Doctors in Germany are like this. I've lived in three different countries and this is the only one where I've seen this level of incompetence, rudeness and disregard. If you're not immediately dying then it's "depression" (even if you are not diagnosed with it and don't have it).
#let's not mention how my gynecologist didn't visit me or asked me why i was there but just gave me a list of tests with prices and asked me#which one do you want?#Bitch?? am i the doctor?? you tell me#so i did the ones she recommended but i had no idea of i should have done more because she didn't care that i was there for pain#let's not talk about how last year i got three different diagnosis for my mysterious rashes all three incompatible and all three without#solutions of any kind#one of them was like “yeah so insects are biting you somehow Even if you've been home sick for a week#somehow it's insects and they bite you in lines even at days of distance but not on your arms and legs which are the only exposed parts no#the magic insects every night come under your shirt to bite you there. and the fever? that's a minor infections from uraniry tracts take#these antibiotics and the pain on your side? it's probably nothing or some stomach pain take some pain killers#like???#not to mention the other doctor who said no it's allergy and then was about to inject me with cortisone without telling me anything#just like that without even saying a word#and when i said no because i was shocked and i still had side pain how can that be allergy he pressed so hard on my side i cried out#and he decided it's appendicitis and sent me to the er#where they told me it's a viral infection#it's been a year#im at my limit
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I have a meeting on Monday with a social worker to review my medical history so I was checking and printing everything and the first unspecified abdominal pain I had diagnosed it’s from 2022, damn
Have been in a “tummy hurt send help” state for longer than I thought
#also the fact the diagnosis is literally unspecified abdominal pain???#and they just sent me home like that#your honor I had a tumor on my intestines thank you for nothing
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me: so yeah i feel super dizzy and lightheaded when i stand up and also just at random times of the day and also my heart just starts pounding randomly and it skips a beat randomly at least once a day and im also experiencing these other small things that i realized probably arent normal
the cardiologist: yeah, your heart’s beating too fast, but that’s just Normal Teenager Things™️! probably just like dehydration or something lol
#at least he sent me for blood tests and stuff#(which all came back normal)#and i have to wear a heart monitor for three days#my parents got mad at me because its been happening for a while and i didnt say anything#but in my defense i genuinely just didnt know that it wasnt normal#i thought that it just happened sometimes#also i didnt know the amount until i actually started to have to track it for the heart monitor#and maybe im not drinking Enough water but i genuinely dont think thats the main issue#i could be completely wrong but it feels like its more than that#we’ll see i guess#once im done with this and they get the results in and decide if they want to just brush it off or whatever#also had a nurse who was like weirdly insistent that i mustve been drinking a shit ton of soft drinks#just cause i mentioned that ill have a soft drink with meals sometimes (not nearly to the extent she was trying to say)#and she wouldnt believe me or my mom when we said that the soft drinks are pretty much always zero-sugar zero-caffeine#tachycardia#i mean thats what the doctor said it looks like#i dont really know what else to tag#chronic illness#maybe???#i dont know i dont have a diagnosis or anything so i dont wanna be like “oh thats def what that is”#also#pots#possibly#i did a shit ton of research on my own and i just really felt like what i was experiencing was lining up with it#but i dont wanna self diagnose
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fascinating how this one gp manages to make me feel like shit every single time
#first met her when she did my adhd diagnosis funnily enough but now she's training to be a gp at my local surgery#it's the weird pitying look she gives you. also the honing in on tiny irrelevant details while ignoring the obvious symptoms#please i just wanted you to give me green light for a blood test#not to be told my clear symptoms of anaemia 'might be anxiety' and get sent away with a 'lmk if it gets worse!'#i get that she's young and in training but UGHHHH
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idk whats worse the idea that my parents genuinely dont believe that mental illness exist or the apparent reality that they Do believe in mental illness they just dont think people need accommodations or medication. is this a joke. taps on the glass let me out of my enclosure
#i didnt tell them abt my dyscalculia or the autism but i did tell them about the adhd and the anxiety#they were both like 'oh we've known since u were a kid' AND U DID NOTHING ABT IT ????????#and my dad pulled the 'oh haha u just wanted the diagnosis so u could get special treatment for school' what if i beat the shit out of u#i cant believe my parents watched me in high school fighting for my fucking life to pass my classes#and just. didnt think it was worth seeking a diagnosis or accommodations.#theyre such like. throw you in the deep end so you'll learn how to swim kind of ppl. but would it kill u to throw me a life jacket. would i#also !! to the anon who sent me the long message abt whether i should tell my parents about my diagnoses#that was very nice of u thank you :] i kept it in my inbox so i could look at it lol#anyways. ugh its fine its whatever. the response i expected tbh. whatever!#jc.txt
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For the record I spent months going back on forth on whether or not to talk to my doctor about the possibility of me being Autistic, getting my self so worked up over the fear that I was giving my self an incorrect self diagnosis and would be laughed out of the hospital. Or that, like my ADHD diagnosis, it would take an incredibly emotionally taxing year before I got an answer, until I finally worked up the balls to just get it over with.
I spoke to the guy for like 10 minutes before he went “yeah you’re definitely autistic, we’ll mail you a questionnaire for you to answer but that’s really just a formality, you’re a clear case”
#the autism closet was made of glass I FUCKING GUESS#I just wanted to share this#he caught me SO off guard it was so funny#he finished asking me questions and just sent “yeah so I can give you an autism diagnosis’’ and I said you can do what now#cause I shit you not for my ADHD diagnosis it took over a year#it was horrific lmao#and then it took another year to get medicated#but this MF diagnosed me with autism and prescribed antidepressants in the same half hour meeting#all whilst some medical student was sitting in the corner taking notes on my autism#autism#textpost#Sadie thinkin#Sadie Shitposting#shitpost#meme#adhd
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i know i'm not a medical professional but i simply could not imagine withholding a diagnosis because your 5 year old patient's mother doesn't fully understand the condition
#one of my students had a paediatrician appointment today and we thought he would walk out of it with a [redacted] diagnosis#bc we did the assessments the doctor had asked us to do and sent her all the reports#but the doctor decided to “give his mother time to read and better understand [redacted] before giving the diagnosis”#i'm sorry but what the FUCK#like mate YOU asked US to do an assessment. but you didn't talk to the parents about what [redacted] is???????#so now this child doesn't get to have his needs met and the support he needs to access school in a way that is meaningful to him???#be so fucking for real#i very rarely talk about work on here bc hello government employee but i am so heated about this#i cried on the phone to my partner when i called him about it lmao#neptune speaks
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#I LIVED BITCHES#THE THESIS IS GONE#IT HAS BEEN SENT TO MORDOR#MAY I NEVER BE INSPIRED TO WRITE ANOTHER ONE EVER AGAIN#seriously though#when i signed up to do a masters#i didn't expect to be dealing with#mums second cancer diagnosis and bonus broken leg#multiple fuck wit bossess#a crippling work place injury#A FUCKING GLOBAL PANDEMIC#A longer term disability caused by medical neglect due to the fucking pandemic#A THREE YEAR MEDICAL LEGAL BATTLE WITH THE GOVERNMENT TO RECIEVE THE TREATMENT THAT IS COVERED BY MY WAGES#(fucking ACC)#Multiple university restructures#also straight up not having a consistent place to live for a while#and just so so much bullshit#(mostly caused by ACC)
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Now... how do i phrase "i have depression and maybe some kind of personality disorder, and i need antidepressants now or else im gonna hurt myself" in a way where my doctor will think that it was his idea, and that he came to that conclusion all by himself, so that he'll actually take me seriously and not just try and pawn me off to a school counsellor again
#this is fucking ridiculous#i should not have to be doing some light yagami 4D chess shit on my fucking doctor in order to get him to DO HIS FUCKING JOB AND HELP ME#i had to do this same shit on my school counsellor in order to get referred for my autism diagnosis too#like i had to basically list all of my symptoms. making careful sure not to use the official terminology for any of them.#and then be like “oh haha idk what could be causing all of this. my mum said it miiiiiight be autism but idk ANYTHING about that teehee”#“what? google? ohhhh noooo~ i didnt google any of my symptoms! i didnt do any research at all! im totalllllyyyyy clueless teehee”#“whaaaaa?? *you* think it might be autism?????? are you sure???? well if you say so!!! :)”#but even then they never actually fixed the root problem i was sent there for in the first place. me being cripplingly depressed and s/h-ing#sorry another vent post may delete later
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i got like 10 people to take the RAADS-R test today
the topic of autism and self diagnosis came up again, and i always go "the first place i went to told me to pay $3000 for the assessment + with a diagnosis there comes a ton of legal barriers such as immigration, so until all of that stops being a thing, self diagnosis is totally okay as long as you're looking at reputable sources for that information"
which became people comparing RAADS-R scores, and then more people started the test as well.
Out of everyone there, one person got below an 80— with a 20. (The threshold for autism is 60+/240, I got a score of 190)
#and i got to talk to a bunch of people about synesthesia and hyper/a-phantasia as well#i sent so many people links to websites today#and i find it funny that i spend most autism conversations deterring people from getting a formal diagnosis despite having one myself#i think if you can get supports through a different diagnosis with less weird legal issues then absolutely do that instead#i was extremely lucky to get in with a psychiatrist that did assessments for free eventually#but the first place was like “our ASD assessment service is a total cost of around $3000”#also referring all the autistic people to autism supports (there's so many good ones in my city and i know them all)#i am also love learning more about the overlap between queer identities and autism (and just neurodivergency in general)#i personally know some of the people doing research in that area and I've participated in like 8 different projects#anyways yeah i thought it was funny that out of 15 people there was 1 allistic person#autism#actually autistic#autistic#actuallyautistic
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on the train to my new gender therapist and looking out the window the world is so pretty <3
#switching gender therapists bc i wasn't vibing with my old one and it was in a different location from my endo#but now i have to have new intake talks and I'm a little nervous#i mean i already have that stupid diagnosis and started T but i still need to get top surgery#and i hope they won't give me issues for that (I'm afraid I was too honest in the questionnaire they sent me)#so I'm just scrolling Tumblr and looking at the pretty world outside to distract myself#and listening to music#blake rouse#found him randomly the other day and have had it on repeat since#vincent.txt
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QYICK POST EXPLAINING SOME THINGS. ryoma's stupidly tragic backstory... HEED the tws
Actually I exceeded the tag limit crap I'll rb w a continuation after I shower
#speeding thru this cos i gotta shower#tw physical abuse#tw suicide#i think those cover everything?#tw abuse#okay#so ryoma was sent away when she was 14 to live with her uncle living in Japan#Ryoma is originally from Puertorico (giving myself rep ay) but her parents didnt like handling w her compulsion with things being backwards#her fascination is something psychological but I dont want to give her a official diagnosis since Ryoma's case is so specific#it mostly harmless (like physically) but it gets in the way of her daily life and its really hard for her to make friendships.#but she can live just fine with some extra help and therapy#enter. The worst man ever#Ryomas uncle used to be pretty good to her when she first arrived but it slowly got worse and worse until it went into abuse territory#his life just went downhill and he took it out on Ryoma#Ryoma was very dependent on him so they just. dealt with it#it got so bad for Ryoma that she attempted to end her life by jumping off a tall building. she survived#but the injuries from that healed poorly and now she has permanent damage from that#besides the uncle being violent towards her he was also very controlling. shutting down her hobbies and dreams#he didnt like that Ryoma was friends with josuke and the gang but at that point Ryoma didnt care and went out anyways#dealt with the consequences#anddd then Ryoma was sent to a 'mental health retreat in the mountains' which was a actually. supernatural horror thing. ill talk abt that#one day#the place caught fire and Ryoma went back to discover all of her things are gone bc her uncle thought she would never come back#And then proceeded to make her life hell until THE incident#where Josuke and Da Gang witnessed ryomas uncle beating her up and ! the cops were called#he was taken away and Ryoma went to the hospital... everyone was so shocked#they had no idea something like this was going on and Ryoma always acted so cheerful#timeskip to the trial. since Ryoma is able to turn her memories into film she has Loads of evidence#ryoma is living w rohan. very nice of him#methinks joseph provided Ryoma w top lawyers too... everyones looking out for her
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good morning <3 !!
#ooc; onion girl enthusiast#((i just had a call from a place about a form i submitted about getting an adhd diagnosis))#(( and it went well i almost cried jkffd))#((i *did* cry a little when we hung up))#((i dunno what it is about these peoples voices but theyre so calming it makes me wanna bawl immediately))#((anyway my forms been sent to a different place to be looked at so where they'll decide if they think i actually have it..fingers crossed)#((i'll be waiting anxiously but god im happy i got the ball rolling))#((hope youre all well this holiday season!! <3 <3 hopefully i can write a bit today <3))
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so i guess i probably have interstitial cystitis
#this is the diagnosis i was least hoping for#if it was small kidney stones like i thought they coulda just blasted them with a laser and wrote me a flomax rx and sent me on my merry way#instead i get diagnosed with chronic piss your pants disease#interstitial cystitis#chronic pain#personal
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